Idol Speculation: “Survivor Philippines” Cast Assessment

How do I do it?  How can I be expected to review “Survivor Guatemala”?  It’s a season near and dear to my heart, the first season I saw that I realized what the show was, the season that got me hooked, my version of “Survivor Borneo”.  Without Guatemala, my life would be drastically different.  How can I review it with any sense of fairness.

The solution, of course, is to put it off in favor of breaking news!  Hello everyone, and welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to!  Yes, I was having the exact dilemma described above, but luckily, the new “Survivor Philippines” (which I’m going to have a hell of a time spelling) cast was announced today, thus saving me the trouble.  this also marks the beginning of a hiatus for my summer feature, “Survivor Retrospectives”, as I like to focus exclusively on the new season.  For fans of that series, you’ll probably have to wait until after season 26, as gap between 25 and 26 is a bit too short for me to justify continuing the series.  If you haven’t been reading “Survivor Retrospectives”, check it out.  I go back and analyze past seasons of “Survivor”, and spelling errors aside, I think it’s some of my better work.

Well, that shameless plug is out of the way, let’s see how the newbies stack up!

Angie Layton (20, Student, Provo, Utah.  Matsing Tribe):  Of course, we have to start out with one of my “picks” for the season.  For those who don’t know, when I analyze the cast for each season, I always pick a man I think will win, a woman I think will win, and the person I think will be voted out first.  Angie is most definitely the latter.  She’s a pageant girl, being the former Miss Teen Utah, and for me, that usually is an indicator that said person will not do well in the outdoors.  That, and the fact that she says she doesn’t like bugs.  To top it all off, she’s very young, seems very naive, and doesn’t appear to be all that physically proficient.  All this comes together, to the point where I could easily see her being voted out first, just because she can’t hack it with the rest of her tribe.

Malcolm Freberg (25, Bartender, Hermosa Beach, California.  Matsing Tribe): Looking at overall fan reaction, Malcolm seems to be a favorite right off the bat.  He’s definitely one of the more physically fit on the season, and most people seem to think that’s he’s smart.  While I don’t deny his physical proficiency, I personally doubt his intelligence.  He talks a lot about how smart he is, but I haven’t seen any information, or heard anything, to indicate any sort of intelligence.  Further detracting from his chances, he seems to me to be the type of cocky, arrogant person who would rub his tribe the wrong way.  In particular, he seems to be something of a chauvinist (he complained about the lack of “eye candy” this season), and I doubt the women on his tribe will take that very well.  While I doubt that he’ll be an early target due to his physical prowess, I can see him annoying his tribe to the point that they dump him shortly before the merge.

Lisa Whelchel (49, Former “Facts of Life” Actress, Dallas, Texas.  Tandang Tribe):  Now THIS is the castaway everyone’s been talking about, and it has EVERYTHING to do with her occupation.  While “Survivor” has had famous people on the show before, they’ve always been connected with sports in some way (and believe me, we’ll be getting to the sports players in a bit).  This, however, is the first out and out “celebrity” they’ve had, someone famous not for physical prowess.  It’s a bit of a unique twist, to have on this sort of castaway, and I find I don’t mind it so much.  It seems like she won’t be given preferential treatment, and has been out of the television business long enough (since 1988) that I think she’ll be just like an other contestant overall.  That said, I still don’t think she’ll do too well.  She knows the show, and is a fan, but she’s just too nice for me to really take her seriously.  Also, while she doesn’t plan on hiding her fame, she won’t go out of her way to reveal it, going on the theory that, as “Survivor” contestants tend to be young, few people will know who she is.  Not a bad assumption, but there‘s enough older people on this season that she could be recognized, and if so, that’s just the excuse people need to vote her out.

Jeff Kent (44, Former National League MVP, Austin, Texas.  Kalabaw Tribe):  And here we come to the discussion of sports players on “Survivor”.  There’s been a fair number of these over the years, the most famous probably being retired Cowboy’s quarterback Gary Hogeboom (aka Gary Hawkins) of  “Survivor Guatemala”.  Gary is also arguably the best of the sports players that “Survivor” has had, because he was not only proficient physically, but actually had a decent mental game.  While most sports players who become castaways tend to make it really deep into the game, their mental game is usually very weak, and they tend not to be memorable as castaways.  Steve Wright and Grant Mattos of “Survivor Redemption Island”, I’m looking at you.  Jeff, however, has one thing going for him that most former sports players on “Survivor” do not: HE’S NOT AN IDIOT!  Seriously, I think Jeff is the most prepared and the most cerebral male castaway (aside from the returnees) we have this season.  He demonstrated it right away in his “Entertainment Weekly” interview, correcting Dalton Ross in saying 110%, as mathematically speaking, one cannot go higher than 100%.  He also had the good sense to say that playing for the San Francisco Giants and being named player of the year were bigger accomplishments than playing “Survivor”, which shows a maturity and insight that I think bodes well for him.  Jeff also seems to know how tough the show is going to be, and is accordingly prepared.  That, plus his relative physical strength could keep him around a while.  Unfortunately, I think his fame is going to cost him victory, ultimately.  This is the downfall of many sports players on “Survivor”.  It even led Gary to lie about who he was (though he was still voted off).  Jeff’s strategy for handling fame is the same as Lisa’s: use old age to your advantage, and hope that none of the contestants have heard of you.  Like with Lisa, I don’t think it will work, and can see him being voted out on this basis.  However, unlike Lisa, he’s more cutthroat and physically proficient, so I’d look for him to make the merge at least, and probably leave around mid-merge.

Sarah Dawson (28, Insurance Sales, Silver Spring, Maryland.  Kalabaw Tribe):  Well, here’s more cannon fodder for you!  Although she’s not a pageant girl, Sarah (who prefers to be called Dawson) has very much the personality of one, and I have a hard time seeing her weather the elements very well at all.  She claims to have social skills, but admits to liking to play tricks on people, and comes off to me as downright mean at times.  She talks a big mental game, but has very little to back it up.  She does work in sales, which can come in handy, so I doubt she’s an idiot like some of these other contestants, but I don’t see this carrying her very far.  I doubt she’ll be the VERY first boot, as I think she is clever enough to avoid this, but I think she’ll annoy her tribe to death, and be either the second or third out.  Plus, SHE DISSED THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS JOHN COCHRAN (“Survivor South Pacific”).  YOU DO NOT DISS THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS JOHN COCHRAN!  YOU WILL BURN IN THE FIRES OF THE NERD APOCALYPSE!

Zane Knight (28, Tire Repair, Danville, Virginia.  Matsing Tribe): Evidently, I’m ordering this cast assessment to get all the worst players out of the way first.  Despite his cool last name, Zane is DOOMED in this game.  he fills the role of the season’s redneck, and this means either really good or really bad things for Zane.  Rednecks are stereotyped as idiots, which means one of two things.  If the redneck is actually not an idiot (as with Tom Buchanan of “Survivor Africa”), this stereotype works to their advantage, and they can manipulate other’s perception of them into a late-game spot.  If they actually are stupid (as with Steve “Chicken” Morris of “Survivor China”), it can lead to an early exit.  Zane, unfortunately, falls into the latter category.  I have seen nothing to indicate that he has any idea what he’s doing, nor anything to indicate that he can manipulate people.  Moreover, he seems to be an abrasive personality, which does not make people want to keep you around.  He looks to be ok physically, but he’s also a heavy smoker, so I don’t know how well these two things will mesh out.  As if all this wasn’t bad enough, he hopes to take his gameplay style from Brandon Hantz (“Survivor South Pacific”).  Yes, Brandon Hantz, the man who gave up immunity for no good reason, only to be voted out for it, is truly the paragon of mental prowess!  Seriously, though, I expect Zane to have a VERY short, but probably eventful, life on “Survivor”.

Katie Hanson (22, Former Miss Delaware, Newark, Delaware.  Kalabaw Tribe): And here we have our other pageant girl, at least officially.  For once, though, I’m going to give something of a favorable review.  While the girl does seem overconfident in her abilities (particularly on the physical side), and has a lot of things that I normally say work against somebody, I somehow get the feeling that she’ll actually do ok.  Maybe it’s because she has a little more ambition and substance behind her than most pageant girls, wanting to be a police officer.  Maybe it’s just that in the clips I’ve seen of her tribe, she seems very pleasant and social.  Maybe it’s that I’m thinking with my penis.  Whatever the reason, it’s not as though all girls that I call “pageant girls” do badly on “Survivor”.  Mikayla Wingel (“Survivor South Pacific”) I thought to be a very looks-oriented girl, and she ended up doing better than I expected, so perhaps Katie will do the same.  I doubt she’ll win, but I’d look for her to end up early to mid-jury.

Artis Silvester (53, Computer Engineer, Terry Town, Louisiana.  Tandang Tribe):  When I had just seen Artis’ picture, I thought “Oh boy, another meathead.  More muscle than brain.”  While I still think he’ll be very physical, though, he’s surprised me in his interviews with how intelligent he could be.  He seemed to have a read on the other castaways before the game began, and even figured out that some men would be returning to the game, just based on how many people of each gender were present.  This is such a simple thing to do, I’ve often wondered why other people on the show don’t do, and here Artis is actually taking some initiative and trying to predict the game before it starts.  Personally, I think this bodes well for his chances in the game.  He’s certainly got the determination for it, having applied for about 15 straight seasons to get on.  Plus, he hates Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”), and that alone shows that he’s actually thinking.  One thing that might hold him back, however, is his personality.  Although he accepts that there will be stupid, lazy people on the show, he admits that he will have a problem tolerating them.  He himself is one of the bigger personalities this season, so I doubt people will be able to stand him long enough for him to reach the finals.  So I’d look for this guy to be kept around for his strength early on, and then voted out for being annoying in the mid to late jury phase.  All this, even though I keep expecting to hear him say “Thuffering Thuccotath!”

Abi-Maria Gomes (32, Business Student, Los Angeles, California.  Tandang Tribe): Ah, here we’ve got someone to like.  In fact, she’s even my female pick to win it all.  Abi-Maria seems a bit girly at first glance, but a closer look reveals a toughness and determination.  She seems fairly capable mentally and physically, without being too overbearing.  However, she’s got a sort of social charm that I can’t get out of my head, which probably means it won’t get out of others as well, implying that she could be around a while.  She’s also no stranger to more outdoorsy conditions, having been born and raised near the Tocantins area of Brazil (and, consequently, was barred from appearing on “Survivor Tocantins”, where she was initially cast, because she was thought to have too big an advantage.)  It’s entirely possible that she could fade early, but I think Abi-Maria has the perfect mix and balance of traits that could give her a victory, and I would certainly look for her in the finals at least.

Roberta “R.C.” Saint Armour (27, Investment Banker, New York, New York.  Tandang Tribe):  Truth be told, I’m having a hard time getting a read on Roberta.  She’s a hard core fan of the show, which is good, but is also a very modern city girl, which is bad.  She seems fairly charming, though, as well as athletic and smart enough (though by no means excessively), and is certainly one of the more charming contestants.  She is open to returning castaways (more so than her counterparts), and does seem to know how to utilize returnees well, which should be a plus this season.  I’m a bit concerned that she’s in over her head, and while she’s one of the more generic contestants this season, I don’t think she’ll go early.  At the very least, she’ll be a free, easy vote.  On the whole, I don’t think she stands a chance at winning, but won’t go too early, probably leaving right around the merge.

Carter Williams (24, Track Coach, Shawnee, Kansas.  Kalabaw Tribe): DUUUUUUUUUDE!  Carter is totally RADICAL man!  He’s FAR-OUT, and will absolutely RULE this game!  Scratch that, he’s an annoying “Bill and Ted” reject.  In fact, the casting director who called Carter referred to him as being “Bill and Ted”.  I don’t think this is a good thing, however, as the pair are not exactly known for their intelligence, something that is key on “Survivor”.  While that sort of attitude can be fun to hang out with in small doses, there’s nowhere to escape on the island, and so I expect that Carter’s attitude will wear thin on his tribemates very quickly.  Now, he is very good physically, which would normally bode well for a guy on “Survivor”, but there are a LOT of physically proficient guys on this season, so Carter doesn’t exactly stand out.  While his tribe would be very foolish to get rid of him first, I don’t expect him to make the merge, by any means.

Dana Lambert (32, Cosmetologist, Winston-Salem, North Carolina.  Kalabaw Tribe): I want to like Dana, I really do.  She seems unique in her perspective on life and in looks, and is also a lesbian (which, given my political leanings, is a big plus in my book).  However, I’m not sure she’ll do well in this game.  She’s admitted that she’s uncomfortable in the outdoors, and that she’s just here for the experience, which are both big red flags for a person’s chances.  While she’s hardly a bad player on paper, I just don’t see anything that makes her stand out physically, mentally, or socially, and so there’s nothing to counteract those red flags.  For me, all this information combines to one inevitable conclusion: She’s toast.  Expect her out well before the merge.

Pete Yurkowski (24, Engineering Graduate, Holmdel, New Jersey.  Tandang Tribe): Pete claims to be one smart cookie.  He is, after all, an engineering graduate.  For myself, I don’t see it.  He’s another one who talks a big game, and thinks he can get in with anybody due to his “charm”, but I think it’s all more in his mind than anything.  On the plus side, he is VERY muscular, probably the fittest guy on the season, and that’s saying something.  As such, I peg him as the “big, dumb muscle” of the season.  If he shows some heretofore unexpected mental prowess, he could do very well, possibly even win.  If not, I’d expect him to be kept around early for his strength, but be picked off in the mid-jury phase as a physical threat.

Roxanne “Roxy” Morris (28, Seminary Student, Brooklyn, New York.  Matsing Tribe):  Oh God, WHY must you send your most zealous servants onto prime-time?  Why must you torture us so with your missionaries?  Do you think it will win more people to your cause?  Well, then let my tell you right now, that it doesn’t!  It only annoys us, and perpetuates all the negative stereotypes about religious people, thereby making us LESS likely to join your cause than follow it!  Yes, it appears that “Survivor” must now have one uber-religious person per season, and Roxanne is this year’s incarnation.  Let me tell you, she makes no secret about why she’s there.  The first sentence out of her mouth is about going out to proclaim God’s glory in front of her fellow castaways.  And after that, every sentence out of her mouth has something to do with God.  AAARGH!  This is so annoying!  I’m tired of seeing these people on my television (not that I’d stop watching the show, of course)!  But Roxanne’s not blind to her “Survivor” legacy, oh no, she says that she feels that there have been very few truly “religious” people on the show, citing Matt Elrod (“Survivor Redemption Island”) as one of the few examples of truly religious castaways.  If you’re taking your mental game from Matt Elrod, honey, you’re in trouble.  truthfully, I don’t think even this will help her.  Some would argue that her work in the army (she’s attempting to become a chaplain) will help her in terms of survival.  I’m here to say that it doesn’t matter.  She could be the ultimate survivalist, but it doesn’t matter.  If she keeps rambling on about God (as she did in her interviews) on the island, it WILL annoy fellow castaways, and seal her fate.  I’ll call it right now, this woman will not make the merge, by any means.

Denise Stapley (41, Sex Therapist, Cedar Rapids, Iowa.  Matsing Tribe): Rounding out the cast, we have one of my favorites.  Denise claims to be the ONLY sex therapist in Iowa.  I’m not sure if that’s true, but it sounds funny enough that I’m going to overlook it.  Denise has a small background in the outdoors, as well as in sports. and while I don’t think she’ll be the greatest physically, I do think she’ll be able to hold her own, which is a plus.  Moreover, she’s another contestant, like Artis, who’s thinking right out of the gate, before the game even starts.  She has begun to size up her fellow castaways, and made some fairly accurate judgements, so points there.  Normally, I would say a therapist would work well with others, and have experience influencing people, but I’m not sure how well Denise’s specialized therapy will fit this stereotype.  Still, from the looks of things, she’s fairly strong mentally and physically, and can at least keep up socially.  She’d be my female pick over Abi-Maria if it were not for one thing: her age.  “Survivor” contestants tend to have a bias against older people in general, and older women in particular (note Nina Acosta’s fate on “Survivor One World”), and this could, unfortunately, see Denise out early.  Barring this, though, I’d look for Denise to be in the late jury phase, and even a potential threat to win, and I, for one, think we’ll enjoy her all the way.

So, that’s my individual assessment of each castaway, how does the cast look as a whole.  Well, this is going to be an anti-climax, but it’s a little difficult for me to determine.  This cast has a lot of things going for it: there’s fewer recruits than in previous seasons, which makes for a more invested cast overall, and that’s usually a plus.  Also, we’ve got a lot of strong women (both in strength and personality) this season, which is a refreshing change, as “Survivor” tends to lean heavily on its men for entertainment.  This season, we may finally get some good women for the future!  This brings us to the first downside, though: the men.  The men of this season are all very generic, and also seem to fill the same role (the meaty jock with little to no brain).  While I like to see women breakouts, we need men as well as women to be nice and diverse and round out the cast, and it just feels like we don’t have it.  Another problem this cast seems to have is that, even amongst the women, there’s not that many “strategic” players, at least not many extreme ones.  As strategy is a big part of what people enjoy about “Survivor”, this could be trouble.  It could be made up for, however, if there were a lot of big characters, but I don’t see them here.  I could be wrong, perhaps the island will bring it out in some people, but this seems to be shaping up to be a character season without a lot of characters in it.  I’ll have to wait and see how this season turns out.  There’s potential here to produce a really great cast, especially if some of the guys really step it up and show heretofore unsuspected mental faculties.  On the other hand, there’s also potential for this cast to slip the other way, and be very weak and forgettable.  I noticed as I was writing this that I was drawing a lot of comparisons to “Survivor Redemption Island” and “Survivor South Pacific”, which does not bode well, as neither of these seasons had great casts overall (“Survivor Redemption Island”, in particular, had a cast that was God-awful).  Still, we’ll have to wait and see, perhaps the returnees will make things more interesting.

Speaking of the returnees, let’s talk about the twists for this season for a minute.  While a lot has yet to be revealed (and will probably talked about as it becomes relevant during the airing of the show), we do know a couple things.  For the first time since “Survivor All-Stars”, we will have 3 tribes, which I like.  We’ve seen 2 tribes and 4 tribes a fair amount, but 3 tribes has only been done once.  While it kind of takes away from the individuality of “Survivor All-Stars”, I like this, and it lends the season a unique flavor.  I will also talk a bit about the breakdown of the tribes.  I’ve avoided doing this in the past seasons I’ve reviewed as they aired, as then my cast assessment had the tribes coming out fairly even at the merge, and therefore made it hard to predict which tribe would come out on top overall.  This time, however, I noticed something of an imbalance between the tribes.  The Matsing Tribe got a lot of the people I think will do poorly, while the Tandang Tribe only got one, and the Kalabaw Tribe falls in the middle.  As such, I think that the Matsing Tribe will be crushed overall, with the Tandang Tribe dominating.  Not sure about the Kalabaw Tribe, however.  They could be crushed along with the Matsing Tribe, but could also rally and overthrow the Tandang Tribe.  By the way, feel free to comment if you think any of my predictions thus far are right on the mark or way off base.

The big twist for this season, though, is the returnees.  Rather than just choosing “people who can make us money”, CBS this year has elected to give us people who were medevaced from the game, a sort of  “second chances” season.  Frankly, I think this is a much better choice than other seasons with returning castaways.  Just to be clear, since I bashed it heartily in my blogging of “Survivor South Pacific”, I DO NOT hate the “returning castaways” twist, in principle.  In fact, I rather liked it in “Survivor Guatemala”.  My problem is with several recent conventions that now seem to go along with the “returning castaways” twist.  One is the aforementioned feeling that CBS is just bringing back people to make money.  Another is that a lot of times, it’s unfair, as the other contestants refuse to vote them out, because they’re too excited by the celebrity of the returnees.  And my third problem is that the returnees seem to take most of the screen time, depriving us of the new castaways we look forward to.  While I can’t be certain of how the screen time will be distributed until the season starts, I do think my other two complaints won’t come into play this season.  Unlike the past few seasons, these people feel like they DO deserve a second chance, and therefore I’m ok with them returning.  As to the celebrity thing, it may come into play, but as medevacs tend not to be as famous or as well-liked as other contestants, I’m not sure it will come into play as much.  I could be wrong, and I reserve the right to start complaining about them if this sort of things happens again, and if they start hogging the screen time.

Now, as the returnees haven’t officially been revealed yet, I didn’t talk about them above.  However, there are 3 names floating around that are pretty much certain to be the returnees, and I’d like to discuss them.  I understand that some people don’t want to know until they’re officially revealed, and so am saying now that, if you don’t want the returnees spoiled, stop reading NOW.  On the other hand, they you won’t get to hear my male pick to win it all, so weigh the costs and benefits for yourself.  For those who want to hear, read on…

To the best of my information, the 3 returnees are Mike Skupin (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), Russell Swan (“Survivor Samoa”), and Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Cook Islands”, though his injury occurred in “Survivor Micronesia”).  Although I know the tribes these three are supposedly on, I won’t reveal them here, as I like to save my readers SOME surprises for the premier, and if you’re really that curious, you can find their tribes pretty easily on the internet.  Now then, on to analyzing the returnees.  Of the 3, Mike Skupin is the one I liked the least on his original season, and is also going to be the hardest one to analyze.  That said, he’s also the one who deserves to come back the most.  He was the ORIGINAL medevac, and probably the most famous one, at least amongst “Survivor” fans.  People who haven’t seen the show, and just watched a couple recent seasons before starting, won’t have heard of Skupin, as his season went on 11 years ago, and he hasn’t been back since (making for the longest gap a returnee has ever faced).  This might work to his advantage, however, as he’s also therefore had the longest time to reflect on his game, and how it might improve.  This is why he’s the hardest to analyze, as a lot has changed with both him and the game since his season.  I can say that if Skupin tries to play the same game, he will be voted out quickly.  Being a nice guy and a provider just doesn’t work anymore.  Now, Skupin wasn’t the smartest socially, and I don’t know if he’s been watching more recent seasons, but if not, he’ll go early.  If he’s changed his game, I really can’t say, but something tells me that Skupin can make it deep, but can’t win.  I do know he’s found religion, and that could be trouble.  Still, being old hat and less famous than other returnees could help him, just as it could help the next returnee.  Russell Swan is the newest of the returnees to “Survivor”, but is also one of the least well known.  Not that he wasn’t a good character, it’s just that he was on a season dominated by Russell Hantz, who insisted on stealing all the airtime for himself.  As such, Russell may be lucky, and not be considered so much of a celebrity that he’s a threat.  He was a good leader on “Survivor Samoa”, and did seem to have people skills, which could help him immensely.  I do somewhat wonder how much he’s learned from his previous season, and if he tries to play the same way, I think it will cost him.  While he is a good leader (he was my favorite on “Survivor Samoa”, partly due to the fact that we share an alma mater), he played a very straight up game, which is hard to carry out to a victory.  Still, I got the sense that there were hidden depths to his strategy, and he admitted that he would have played a very different game had he not been chosen as “leader” of Galu right from the outset.  This gives me confidence, and I think Russell will do well on the whole.  Now for the opposite of Skupin, Jonathan Penner.  Of the 3, he’s probably the one who deserves to come back the least (having been on 2 seasons to the other’s 1), but the one I like the most.  Penner is a hardcore strategist, something missing from most of the cast of this season.  Moreover, he’s funny as heck, his banter with Probst being his schtick.  He does have a problem in that he’s probably the most famous of the 3 returnees, which could come back to bite him.  On the other hand, though, this also works to his advantage, as Penner has gone much deeper into the game than the other returnees (all were medevaced 6th, but Penner made final 7 and day 33 on “Survivor Cook Islands”).  As such, Penner knows the game better, and can probably help his tribe more than Russell or Skupin.  However, his smarts are truly his biggest asset, especially when most of the rest of the cast appears to not be very good at strategy, and as such, Penner is my pick to win the whole thing.
On the whole, Skupin could go early, but if not, I’d look for the returnees to go no earlier than just after the merge, and I think Penner will win.

Well, hope you guys are ready for more “Survivor”!  Looking forward to sharing my thoughts with you, and I’ll see you in about a month!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Palau

While all seasons of “Survivor” are different, regardless of placement, it’s rare that you’ll find two complete opposites, both in the qualities of the season and in fan reaction, than with “Survivor Vanuatu”, and the subject of today’s blog, “Survivor Palau”.  Reactions to “Survivor Vanuatu” range from neglected to outright hated, but the reactions to Palau are nothing but positive.  You’ll rarely find a “Top ‘Survivor’ Seasons” list that doesn’t include Palau on it somewhere.  So, is it wrong to say that I think it’s overrated?

Before we get into exactly WHY Palau is overrated, it once again falls to me to remind everyone that this review will contain spoilers.  If you just want a quick opinion on the watchability of the season, scroll down to the bottom of this page, and read the “Abstract” section.

CAST

When I said that “Survivor Vanuatu” and Palau were opposites, I meant it pretty throughly.  Although fan reaction is the most obvious of the disparities between the seasons, it’s by no means the only disparity, and cast is certainly one of them.  I said in my last blog that “Survivor Vanuatu” was a cast made up primarilly of strategists.  If Palau is it’s opposite, it falls to reason that Palau is mainly characters.  And there’s certainly a lot to choose from.  Probably the most well-remembered is Stephenie LaGrossa, who is remembered for being the last surviving member of the Ulong tribe, but we’ll get more on that in the “Twist” section.  Stephenie is mostly remembered as the tough Jersey Girl who never quit despite the odds.  It’s admirable stuff, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like her.  I’ll also give it to her that, while she is primarilly a character, she is a halfway decent strategist, as we would see in “Survivor Guatemala”.  Unfortunately, Stephenie’s strategic prowess didn’t really show itself well on Palau, so points off there.  I also have to admit, I don’t think she’s as amazing as the rest of America does, but again, that will come up in the “Twist” section.

Also well remembered is New York Firefighter Tom Westman.  Just winning the season wasn’t enough for him, hhad to ingrain himself into our brains by killing a shark with a machete, and to be fair, it was pretty cool.  Another distinctive feature is that he was the first “Alpha Male” to ever win “Survivor”.  I don’t mean that song men always lost beforehand (Brian Heidik of “Survivor Thailand” was fairly proficeint physically), but he was the first man to dominate physically, AND lead his tribe, AND play a (mostly) straight up game, and still win.  That sort of strategy takes guts and a lot of luck, and I certainly give him his due, he was memorable.

Even more memorable, perhaps, was Tom’s partner in crime, the tall, lazy-eye’d dolphin trainer Ian Rosenberger.  The other physical threat, Ian started off as a low-key Tom wannabe, then turned semi-villain in the latter days of the game, only to redeem himself very late (again, which I’ll talk about in the “Twist” section.  If this season’s cast has one flaw, it’s that they’re so tied into the twists it’s hard to distinguish them).  Cuddly, cute, a generally endearing character.

Stephenie, Tom, and Ian make up the core 3 characters of Palau, and are usually the ones refered to when talking of the brilliance of the Palau cast.  However, they were by no means the only ones.  Heck, one of the characters of this season only lasted one day!  Wanda Shirk, and elder elementary school teacher with a penchant for singing songs (of her own writing, and all concerning “Survivor” in some fashion) was the victim of one of the twists this season (which I will naturally get into in the “Twist” section), but even aside from that, she was famous for just being out and out crazy, but in a fun way, mostly due to the aforementioned singing.  For this, she got a solo during the reunion show, and a place in the history of “Survivor”.

Next up would have to be Jeff “Coconut Boy” Wilson, well known for being probably the most athletic male on the season, but effectively quitting in episode 3 due to rolling his ankle on a coconut.

I am not even kidding.

Williard Smith, the Koror Tribe’s resident crumudgeon, has mild fame for lasting even 12 days, having some very funny sarcastic comments, and, above all, looking like the Tribal Immunity Idol.  Also famous for her looks is Angie Jakusz (who’s last name I had to look up to remember how to spell), the heavilly tattooed tomboy, who was actually a decent strategist, and misfit amongst the tribe of misfits, Ulong.  She didn’t get too much screentime beyond the first episode, but I really liked her.  I felt that she ahad a lot of potential as both a character and a strategist, who got cut off too soon for being on the losing tribe, and not being as good physically.  A counter to her would be the ever serious, ever loud Jolanda Jones, who became the first person OFFICIALLY voted off (God, the twist section is going to be long.  Like War and Peace long.) for being far too abrasive.  She’s memorable, but I didn’t like her that much.  She just rubbed me the wrong way.

Also memorable was self-proclaimed redneck James Miller, who at least gave us a lot of great (albiet sometimes racist) one-liners.  Even more memorable would be his fellow Alabamian Bobby Jon Drinkard, best remembered for being one of the last two Ulong members, losing to a girl (Stephenie), and refusing to stop working until he passed out from exhaustion.

Moving to the Koror Tribe, we have the openly gay, “Survivor”-fanatic underdog Coby Archa, who was booted essentially because he was too eager to play the game, but won America’s collective heart by crying on national TV.  Still, I enjoyed him, and he was another one with a lot of one-liners, for instance, refering to stereotypical hot couple Gregg Carey and Jenn Lyon as “Ken and Barbie”.  We also had Coby’s ally Janu Tornell, the spiritual woman who ended up quitting the game for Stephenie (say it with me now, “We’ll go over that in the ‘Twist’ section.”), but had a nice experience on the show.  Rounding out the group, we had Caryn Groedel, the misfit lawyer, who somehow screwed up being the swing vote at the final 5.  Heck, even all this cast assesment is just an overview.  Even the least memorable castaways all had something about them that made them memorable.

It should also here be noted that there are two castaways who, while they did nothing much in terms of the game, are “Survivor” firsts, and do need to be acknowledged.  The first would be Ibrehem Rahman, thfirst and so far only Muslim contestant on the show.  This was shown on tv, but aside from that, Ibrehem unfortunately had no defining characteristics, despite being a personal favorite of mine.  I thought he had a quiet strength, and definitely more subtle strategic capabilities, as eveidenced by his talk at the reunion show, where he decided to change his gameplay after seeing Jolonda get voted off.  The second, and far sadder castaway I must note, is Jenn, who has the unfortunate distinction of being the first castaway to ever die.  Jenn tragically passed away on January 19, 2010, due to breast cancer.  Any death is a sad occasion, and this is no exception, and so, although I have never met her, I wish to dedicate this particular blog post to the memory of Jenn Lyon.  May she rest in peace.

So, I’ve certainly ranted and raved about this cast, why do I think it’s overrated?  I mean, this is the cast I’ve easily written the most about, so why don’t I like it?  Well, truth be told, that’ll be something to get more into in the “Twist” section (what else is new?).  What I can say here is that, although this cast had a lot of strategists in it, very little of the strategy got to shine through, and characters dominated the season.  Now, while I think a balance of characters and strategists is the best, if I have to choose between the two, I prefer strategists, as they make for a more crazy, unpredictable game.  I think the rest of America would disagree,, and the upcoming score is one of the most personal one’s I’ve given to date, but hey, it’s my blog!

Score: 7 out of 10

CHALLENGES

Like I said, Palau is pretty much in opposition to “Survivor Vanuatu”, and in the case of the challenges, this is a vast improvement.  Nearly every challenge on Palau was appropriate and epic in scale.  They were physically demanding, mentally challenging, and had the luck of being placed in a beautiful location with a very distinctive theme.  Admittedly, I’ll talk more about this in the “Overall” section, but I’ll keep this short (because the rest of the blog will be too long), that with a couple of exceptions where the challenges seem too simple (shooting a gun, for one thing), all the challenges hit their mark, and nearly all have good images to go with them.  Just overall an enjoyable batch of challenges.

Score: 9 out of 10.

TWISTS

Oh, boy, this section.  Well, you can’t say the season didn’t start off strongly.  Aside from being the first season with 20 castaways, it reused the twist first invented in “Survivor Pearl Islands”, of having a false start to the season, and thus having the castaways dropped off in civilian clothes.  It then took this a step further, not only by forcing the castaways to row a fairly large boat several miles to their beach (what would later be Ulong beach), but also by giving them absolutely no idea what was going on in the game.  Jeff Probst eventually came smugly by in a rowboat to inform the castaways that the game was on (prompting a funny one-liner from James), and their beach was several miles behind them.  He also added that there were TWO individual immunity idols, one each for the first man and woman to hit the beach.  This was actually a pretty good way to start the game, creating an aura of mystery, and a sense of uneasiness.  It also gave us a bit of hilarity when Stephenie and Jonathan deluded themselves into thinking that they were strong enough to, while swimming, outstrip 18 people using tools to help propel them along.  Why Stephenie wasn’t voted out after that stunt, I don’t know.

The mysteries continued once the tribe hit the beach (and the competition for individual immunity was over, Ian and Jolanda getting the immunity idols), and they found that there was no tribe flag, just a green banner with the logo of the season emblazoned on it.  There was a lot of good strategizing (and bad strategizing), and questioning of what was going to happen.  The answer came the next day, when Jeff Probst came to inform them that they would divide themselves into two tribes via a schoolyard pick method.  The twist, such as it was, was that only 18 people would be picked. Two people would not, and accordingly be sent home after a scant 24 hours on the island.  The selection happened, and Jonathan and Wanda were sent packing early, both due to annoying their fellow tribemates, and Wanda doubly for her overall weak performance.  While I admit that this is a unique way to start off the season, I’m not a huge fan of it.  It just feels like cheating to me to go to all the trouble of bringing people to the island, only to eliminate them.  It seems especially mean in Wanda’s case, as she had very little time to bond with her tribe to potentially save herself, and was nothing more than cannon fodder.

Probst informed the castaways after the tribes were selected that they would be living on one beach, though this proved to be only for a short time (the full impact of this idea would not be realized until the ill-fated “Survivor One World”). The real twist came with the first immunity challenge, which, should I ever do a “Top 5 and Bottom 5 First Immunity Challenges” list, will definitely be on the Top portion.  In addition to immunity, tribes got to choose a reward by deciding what to carry with them of Food, Water, Shelter, and Fire, the catch being that the more you took, the slower you were, and the less likely you were to win the challenge.  Koror won by doing the smart thing (a pattern that would continue throughout the season) and only took fire, while Ulong panicked at falling behind early.  The second part, which came as a surprise at the end, was the ability of the winning tribe to choose to either stay at the old camp, or head to a new camp.  Koror, being the adventurous sort, opted to take the new camp (funnily enough, the island the their camp was on was in fact called “Ulong Island”), which I have to admit, was a pretty stupid decision.  At the old camp, you have your shelter built, thus meaning less work for you, while at the new camp, you have to build a new shelter from scratch.  This is effectively a choice between saving your strength, and weakening another tribe, or weakening yourself and strengthening your opponants.  Given the ultimate result, I suppose I can’t complain, but it just seems stupid.  Still, I give the producers credit on a good twist.  It raised the stakes of the first challenge, and required brains as well as brawn.

Shelter would remain a problem for Koror until what I would argue is one of the most skewed rewards ever.  For building a better bathroom, with supplies picked by a tribe leader (which in itself was sort of a twist, and led to hilarity when Ulong was so indecisive as to be unable to pick a leader), Koror got the build team to go out to their cam and BUILD THEM A SHELTER!  I mean, my God!  A good shelter in NO way means you’ll get better sleep, and thus have more energy to kick ass in challenges!  And this shelter, to be fair, was amazing, although, with the use of chain saws, I’d expect it to be.

Another minor twist was thrown in the works with the double tribal council.  While it had been done in “Survivor Vanuatu”, it was a bit different here.  Rather than the winning tribe getting to play for individual immunity, their reward was a feast while while watching the losing tribe’s tribal council.  Additionally, before the losing tribe’s vote, the winning tribe would get to vote for someone on the losing tribe to get individual immunity.  Koror, as the winners, voted for Ibrehem to get immunity (as Ibrehem seemed likely to be voted out, due to his losing the challenge for Ulong).  A tie vote for Ulong led to a record number of votes cast in a single episode at 25 (9 Koror 1st Tribal votes, 8 Koror Immunity votes, 5 Ulong votes, 3 Ulong tiebreaker votes).  I do admit, while it seems a little skewed to give the winning tribe so much power, I do like this twist on the “Double Tribal” concept.  It creates a lot of suspense, and is a great reward to play for.

Now the next twist is a bit one, the one that everyone talks about, and the one that, in my opinion, makes the season a lot worse.  I’ve hinted before now that Ulong lost a lot.  This is an understatement.  Ulong lost EVERY SINGLE TRIBAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE, the first tribe in the history of “Survivor” to do so, making them the universal standard for losing in “Survivor” lore (even though the Ravu Tribe of  “Survivor Fiji” actually lost more challenges, as well as all immunity challenges).  It got so bad that Ulong was actually decimated down to a tribe of 1, Stephenie being the lone Ulong castaway, and cementing her into the hearts of the American people.  Why do people like this twist so much?  Well frankly, because it was new.  This had never happened before, and was considered very unlikely to happen, so it was something of a novelty for old-time viewers, sort of revitalizing the status quo that had been established over the past five years.  I will admit, for all that I dislike this twist, it was pretty exciting to see THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT!  After that (perhaps because I rooted for the Ulong Tribe), it just became painful for me to watch, and seemed pathetic, with absolutely no suspense because you knew, no matter what, that Ulong would never be successful, and for me, that affected the rewatchability of the season.  First time viewers will love it, but that’s about all that makes this twist even one IOTA good.  It caused several problems, notably with the challenges.  “Survivor” challenges are designed to be epic competitions, pitting toughness against toughness.  This was somewhat affected by the predictably doomed nature of Ulong, but also due to the low numbers on the tribe.  It’s just hard to create that sense of awe when your challenges have to be playable by only two people, and so the season’s challenges suffer somewhat from that (hence my not giving this season’s challenges a 10, which they would otherwise have earned).  Unfortunately, I can’t go into my biggest grievance with this twist yet, as it belongs in the “Overall” section, but suffice to say that Ulong going to every tribal coucil got a bit repeptitive after a while.  I will say that one plus about this twist is that it introduced the concept of the fire-making challenge for tribal council deadlocks, when Stephenie and Bobby Jon had to duel to stay in the game.  After the “Purple Rock Incident” on “Survivor Marquesas”, people feared going into a tie, to the point where there was no tie for 3 years on the show!  The producers, meanwhile, had to come up with a new tiebreaker method, as the old one just wasn’t fair.  What they came up with (builiding a fire to a certain height, so as to set something on fire) is very appropriate for the “Survivor” aesthetic, a fair challenge, and a good method of deciding ties.  This made for the first time we had a single person-tribe ever.

Also, Tom caught a shark.  Awesome.

Now the next “Twist”, so called, is that this is the first and so far ONLY season to not technically have a merge.  The tribes did become one, it’s true, and there was a merge planned for the season (Green Palau merge buffs can be found pretty easilly on the internet), but technically, in cannon, Stephenie was just absorbed into the Koror tribe, rather than having a proper merge.  As evidence, the tribe buff color and name didn’t change.  It’s really more an interesting factiod than a “Twist”, but it’s a fun bit of trivia worth mentioning.

More of a twist, in my mind, is the fact that Stephenie, outnumbered at 8 to 1 post-absorbtion, was not the first person voted off the new Koror.  This is one of the few areas where her strategic prowess somewhat shines through (and consequently makes for one of my favorite episodes of the season), in that she was able to actually save herself, at least once, not through immunity, but through strategizing, and helping turn the tribe against the unfortunate Coby.  This is like what Chris Daugherty did on “Survivor Vanuatu”, but on a smaller, less impressive scale.  Still, fun to watch.

The next episode after Coby’s ejection brought us the next twist.  In a precursor to “Survivor Exile Island”, the first person to drop out of the immunity challenge would be sent to live alone for an evening on a private island.  Dramatically, there could not ahve been a better choice than Janu, who had been out of sorts and contemplating quitting for the last several days.  You’d think she’d go all to pieces on the island, but exactly the opposite happened.  It seemed that all Janu needed was isolation (and the small victory of starting her own fire) to revitalize her, and she became much more cheerful and different after the experience, and it did make for a powerful moment.

Then, in a pouring rainstorm, Janu decided to quit, having gotten what she needed to out of the experience.  Now, I said earlier that Janu quit to save Stephenie (who was crying in sheer frustration at her situation), but Janju claims that this is wrong, and she quit because she wanted to.  Personally, I think this is bullshit.  Janu only offered to quit AFTER Stephenie’s breakdown, saying to me that this played on Janu’s emotions, and got her to quit.  Still, it was a powerful moment, and Janu was such a whiner that I wasn’t sorry to see the back of her.  At least she got a nice dramatic moment the episode she left, so she can keep her head high.

Still, even this was not enough to save Stephenie (despite a valiant effort at starting a woman’s alliance), and she was voted off, making for the first (and so far only) Final 6 that was made up of all one tribe.  This led to the next “Twist”, which I only put on here because it was such a rare occurrence on this season.  I’ll talk about this in the next section, but Koror had not done any real strategizing up until this point.  With Stephenie gone, this changed in a BIG way.  Getting wind that Gregg set out to betray them, Tom and Ian opted to change things up, and betrated Gregg.  This is only notable because it’s the first time Koror had to do anything of the sort, and they actually pulled off a pretty good blindside.

The final twist is perhaps the other most well-known.  Ian had been taking a lot of heat over the past few tribal councils for being more of a strategist than his competitors (in other words, actually playing the game), and in particular, had lost the respect of Tom by plotting to betray him, had Tom not won the previous immunity.  Still, Ian was spared in another tiebreaker of making fire (agains Jenn), and the group proceeded to the Final Immunity Challenge.  I won’t talk about the challenge here, save to mention that it was awesome!  What I will talk about is that Ian and Tom created a (short-lived) record for longest challenge, lasting almost 12 hours on buoys.  It ended, rather dramatically, with Ian offering to step down, give Tom immunity, if Tom would agree to NOT take Ian, as a way to redeem the young man.  Tom accepted and, in an impromptu Tribal Council, voted off Ian.  While this was a big, dramatic way to end the challenges, there are two schools of thought on Ian’s move: that it was a bold, dramatic gesture which showed the nobility of the season as a whole, or it was just plain stupid.  I fall into the latter category.  Despite taking some heat, Ian was very well-liked by the jury, and, had he argued right, had a decent shot at winning.  Nice guy, but a really stupid move.

After Ian left, the season played out as predictably as possible, with Tom throughly annihilating Katie in Final Tribal Council (missing out on a shutout only because Coby was the victim of “Bitter Juror Syndrome”), and the fans loving the cast.

So yeah, looking back the season does have some really good twists.  However, I think a lot of them, especially the two big ones, get a lot more love than they deserve, as they were either stupid strategically (Ian’s jump) or destroyed the rewatchability of the season (the demise of Ulong).

Score: 8 out of 10

OVERALL

In terms of aesthetics, Palau really hit the mark.  It could very easilly have become another GSPI (Generic South Pacific Island), but the producers had the foresight ot give it a distincitive theme.  Having been the sight of much fighting during WWII, the producers decided to give the show a WWII theme, which was a BRILLIANT move.  Palau is easilly the most distinguishable theme of any season before or since, and the unique theme allowed for new creative challenge ideas and aesthetics, which contributed a lot to the greatness of the challenges.

What also helped this season was a lot of first.  General consensus was that “Survivor” was slipping back into a predictable rut.  Palau’s changing of the status quo, what with Ulong losing a lot, and having an alpha male for a winner, helped make the season memorable, and more well-liked.  Tom’s victory in particular was an asset, as we’d never really had an “Alpha Male” win before.  You could argue that Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”) and Brian Heidik (“Survivor Thailand”) fulfill the requirements for being an “Alpha Male”, as they were physically strong leaders.  I’d argue, however, that their reliance on strategy to get them far in the game eliminates them from this category.  You could argue that Ethan Zohn (“Survivor Africa”) fits, but in my mind, he really wasn’t a leader.  Tom was the first up front, physically dominant person to ever be victorious, which was a new, exciting first.

My problem with the season, though, is that it relies so heavily on firsts. True, they’re exciting and change up the status quo, but the problem is that they only work the FIRST time you see them.  Look, I enjoyd Palau as much as the next person the first time I watched it, but it gets less exciting as I rewatched it.  Granted, this is true with all seasons of “Survivor”, but it’s particularly pronounced with Palau, as it relies so heavilly on surprise and shock value to provide entertainment.

My other issue with the season comes from its signature twist: the loss of Ulong.  True, it was excitin and interesting to see a tribe be decimated to this degree, even though it falls victim to the rewatchability problem.  However, my main issue is just that the twist itself made things boring and repetitive to watch overall.  I said in the “Character” section that this was a season made up almost purely of characters.  This is not entirely true, we did get to see SOME strategy from the castaways, and really, I think a lot of them had a lot more strategic potential than was shown.  They were UNABLE to show it because Ulong kept losing all the time!  While it was interesting to see if Ulong would keep losing, it meant that the last 1/3 of the episode was bound to be dull, because we’d seen Ulong at Tribal Council before. We needed some variety in voting strategy, but because Koror only went to Tribal Council when forced to do so by the “Double Tribal” twist, we didn’t get any.  This could have been exciting had they pulled some major twist vote out of their hat, but who did they eliminate?  FREAKING WILLARD!  While Willard was the smart choice, he was also the obvious choiced, and produced no drama in his exit.  Frankly, my favorite episodes of the season are AFTER Stephenie left, because Ulong’s gameplay was weak and competitive, and the first time Koror really had to make a tough choice about voting someone off (I’d argue that Coby really dug his own grave), they go with the obvious choice of the underdog, Stephenie.  After Stephenie left, however, they had to make tough choices and start strategizing, and this moral dillema made the season much more exciting in my opinion.  Still, that lasted for all of 3 episodes, barely a quarter of the season as a whole, so it’s still a major problem.

One thing I will give the season, though, is theme.  Not the WWII aesthetic I talked about earlier, although that is cool, but a recurring theme you can find if you look at the season.  That theme would be the rise of the underdog.  It started with the picking of tribes, which revealed two different strategies.  Ulong chose the young, strong, and generally less intelligent, while Koror went for older, wiser, but not necessarily as physical castaways.  Given how physical a game “Survivor” can be, it would seem Ulong would be the favorites, and Koror the underdogs.  This was further emphasized when Koror, having won the first imunity challenge, accidentally overturned their outrigger and lost their fire for several days.  Ian even commented at one point that Koror was the “Bad News Bears”, further emphasizing how much of an underdog Koror was as a whole. Thus, when Koror proved to be the powerhouse (and also not as bad physically as they would have had one believe), it was very exciting.  Underdog themes would also be found in Stephenie, as I mentioned in her ability to outlast her tribe, and even survive a bit on Koror.  Janu also follows this pattern to a lesser extent.  Finally, we have Tom, the ultimate underdog winner.  It might seem strange to dually classify someone as an “Alpha Male” and an “Underdog”, but on “Survivor”, that’s just the way it is.  Alpha males, generally, don’t do well on the show, especially not the overly moral, upright ones, and so, Tom’s victory cemented the theme.  People love underdogs, love to root for underdogs, and especially love it when underdogs win, so it’s not surprising that this season wormed it’s way into people’s hearts.

While it’s not my favorite season, mostly due to the limited rewatchability, this season does have a lot of things going for it, and although it does lose a point due to being less surprising in rewatches, I can’t dney the impact it had, nor the coolness of a lot of the challenges.

Score: 32 out of 40

ABSTRACT

Palau has a lot of good points about it, and I do reccomend watching it.  I will warn you, however, that it’s not a good season to be your first, as it’s very unique in terms of how it plays out, and that it’s the type of season that relies on surprises, at least more so than other seasons, so its rewatchability is limited.