Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Episode 1: The Nickname Bureau

Wednesday, September 26, 2018. 2130 hours. Along in a bunker known only as “Classified” sits a large man with a bald head and tattoos that are clearly compensating for something. Here sits “The Specialist”, a “Former Federal Agent?” with a grudge to bear. The source of that grudge sits on his tv screen, laughing and making proud declarations of his prowess. The Specialist sighs, and shakes his head.

“You’ve crossed the wrong man, Johnny Mundo. I am the one true king of the nicknames.”

After that melodramatic intro, welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to! What we have here is the beginning of “Survivor David vs. Goliath” a season that is trying desperately to be good, despite the best efforts of host Jeff Probst. Seriously, nearly everything wrong with this episode can be traced back to him. He gets started early by trying to convince us that the conflict between “David” and “Goliath” is as old as time immemorial. Granted, it DOES appear in the Bible, so it’s at least a couple thousand years old, but the fact remains that it just doesn’t flow like other “versus” seasons do. “Heroes vs. Villains” is an obvious conflict. “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” is an obvious conflict. This is just you reaching for ideas. It doesn’t help that Probst frames it as “those who had to work for everything” versus “those who had everything handed to them”, as this just reminds me of the awful “Haves vs. Have Nots” twist of “Survivor Fiji”. Is this really the well you want to get water from, “Survivor”?

Sadly, the cast does not go against the theme, but leans into it, starting with our Goliaths (yes, that’s really their tribe name). Angelina kicks things off by taking about her getting the good draw of the tribes. Way to not set yourself up as a jerk there, Angelina! I can see you getting along GREAT with everyone! I do have to give the editors credit for humor, though. A clip of her talking about tribe strength is played over footage of Mike White, the skinniest and least athletic guy on the tribe. Now, Angelina does talk about them having brains as well, but that’s not what she says when the camera looks at Mike, thus making it look like Mike is the one she’s calling athletic, which is hilarious!

Probst then reveals the “David vs. Goliath” theme, and since the buffs were not handed out prior to this announcement, I can’t fault the cast for not figuring it out. Knowing that a pro-wrestler can always be counted upon to give a ballsy statement, Probst gets a generic quote from Johnny Mundo (I can’t remember all of his nicknames, so that’s the one I’m sticking with) about the greatness of their tribe. More diplomatic is Alison, who acknowledges her success, but tries to temper it with talk of hard work. Probst, of course, can’t allow someone to actually play the game WELL! He goes over to compare her life to one of the “David” tribe (again, really their name). Now, this might actually work as a good bit of debate if Probst picks one of the more successful members of the tribe (say, Nick the lawyer), but instead to make Alison look like an ass, Probst goes to the guy on the tribe who grew up with the least. Pat, literally the person who INSPIRED THE THEME OF THE SEASON! Alison’s trying to play well, but you’re not letting her, Probst. Screw you.

Oh, and Probst talks about how the idea of this season is “knowing how to use the advantages you’re given”, which will in no way railroad the contestants into making big, yet stupid, moves. Translation: Prepare for a dozen more “Secret Advantanges”. Yay.

Ok, ok, onto the good stuff about this season. While we once again start off on a boat, at least it’s a DIFFERENT boat this time. On a more interesting note, we’re told we’re getting a challenge for shelter-building equipment right away. We’re not told yet what the challenge is, but the Goliaths get their first “advantage” right away. They’re told to pick “the two weakest people” from the David tribe to run the challenge, one man and one woman. They unsurprisingly choose robotics expert Christian as the man, which makes sense, given that he appears to be a stick figure given life. However, in the only really dumb player move of the night, they pick Lyrsa as the woman. Lyrsa? Really? I mean, she’s short, I guess, but Gabby and Jessica are both short as well, and seem less strong from their build alone. This choice boggles my mind. The Goliaths are then asked to pick their strongest man and woman to run the challenge, ultimately picking the two people we’ve heard the most from: Alison and Johnny Mundo. Both solid choices, I say. In terms of physical strength, Johnny is a good choice, and while Alison may not be the fittest person out there, she is a physician, showing that she’s got brains. As the challenge will inevitably have a puzzle, this makes sense to include.

So far, the Goliath tribe is getting all the breaks, but that would be unfair, and as we all know, “Survivor” is completely fair. We know because they told us so. In any case, they give us an interesting “One cuts, the other chooses” scenario to shake things up for the challenge. While the Goliath tribe chose the competitors, the David tribe chooses the tasks each pair must go through. A fun way to shake up your average obstacle course/puzzle challenge, but I do wish that the Goliath tribe had been informed of this beforehand. If you knew your challenge would involve balance, do you really think Johnny “Top Heavy” Mundo would be competing? No. But because of the lack of information, the Goliaths are screwed. Sure enough, they get assigned the most difficult balance challenge (plank bridge), along with the tightest ropes course (a net tube), and the most difficult puzzle (a 15-piece 3-D cube), while the David tribe takes the slide puzzle. I would mention the other portions, but this was was really a gimmee for the easiest. Add onto that the fact that Christian solves the puzzle in about five seconds, and you’ve got a clear advantage for the David tribe, and I’m not just talking about their shelter-building kit.

As we leave for camp, Probst again attempts to tie this into the theme, though I’m more interested in hearing from Christian. The guy is neurotic in the most entertaining way. Solving a slide puzzle in about five seconds is impressive, so you’d think he’d rest on his laurels. Instead, Christian goes on and on about how he didn’t do as well as he would have liked at the puzzle, and could have shaved off a second or two. Yeah, it was kind of obvious he’d do that, and I’m sure some of the neuroticism was playing to the cameras, but the way it was edited was still hilarious.

Our camp tours start with the Goliath tribe, licking their wounds after their loss. Natalia takes up the irritating hype train, stating that they’re still the strongest tribe. This is also where we get introduced to the many nicknames of Johnny Mundo. This causes Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”) to mentally kick himself, realizing that he could very easily have kept all the nicknames for himself, with no one complaining. Actually, in fairness to Johnny Mundo, a lot of time is spent talking about how his wrestling persona is different from his personality, and how he’s playing with the latter, not the former. It shows good self-knowledge, and I’ll be interested to watch the man in the future. For me, though, the real story here is Mike. No, no, not his quickly being outed as a successful Hollywood writer and former “Amazing Race” contestant. No, the real story with Mike is his shirt. Someone like Mike doesn’t come on this show unless they’re a real fan, and Mike is clearly a fan having fun with the concept of “Survivor”. You see, his shirt says “Can’t we all just get along?”, as in, the exact opposite of what happens on “Survivor”. Good sense of irony. I like this guy.

Natalie, meanwhile, is not fitting in nearly as well as Mike’s shirt. The trouble with successful people is that they tend to be the ones in charge. And they LIKE it that way. But there can only be so many leaders on “Survivor”, and pushing too hard to be one can backfire easily. Natalie, however, just can’t help herself, and starts bossing everyone around, which Natalia can’t help but complain about. Given my current slight dislike for Natalia, I’m tempted to side with Natalie on this on, but especially since we see that Natalie doesn’t really help BUILD the shelter, just tells others what needs to be done, I’ve got to go with Natalia on this one.

We end our current time at the Goliath tribe on the note of showmance. Dan and Kara are flirting, and despite Dan attempting to follow in the footsteps of Malcolm Freberg (“Survivor Philippines”), and not get “booty-blind”, he finds himself attracted to Kara. And who wouldn’t, when the form of flirting is to reference “Supergirl”? Smooth there, Kara.

Over on the David tribe, Pat is quickly taking charge of the shelter building, and rightly so. He works maintenance, after all, this is his area of expertise. Hell, he earns a lot of my respect by pointing out that the shelter should go under the canopy of the jungle, so better keep out rain. This is a bit of common sense not often seen on “Survivor”, and shows that the guy really does know what he’s talking about. Still, the man is neither quiet nor subtle, and while his leadership is useful in building the shelter, it understandably rubs people the wrong way. I’ve a bit more time for Pat than I do for Natalie, if only because Pat actually backs up his talk with action, but even I can’t deny that it would be justice for Pat to leave first from this tribe. After all, once the shelter is built, he has outlived his usefulness.

Discontent over Pat’s attitude leads to our first alliances of the season, and get ready because they’re coming like popcorn. It starts out small, with a conversation between Bi and Jessica concerning their paranoia. The pair agree to let each other know if they hear anything, but Jessica is not content with just this. She goes and forms an alliance with Carl, who in turn forms an alliance with Davie. Carl admits that he wanted to play below the radar, but can’t on this tribe. Meanwhile, Gabby and Christian bond over their nerd-dom, while Lyrsa and Elizabeth similarly bond. All intriguing alliances, but this last one is perhaps the one I like the most, because it’s just such an odd-couple pairing. The self-described punk-rocker lesbian and the cowgirl? Such an odd-couple pairing that I can’t help but root for their success.

Back at Goliath, we can confirm that Mike didn’t watch last season, as he makes exactly the same mistake as Jacob Derwin, going off and obvious idol hunting. This leads to many “Where’s Mike” jokes, and a call for someone to follow him. Natalie ultimately volunteers, but all this does is get the two people on the outs away so everyone can bash them. For their part, Natalie and Mike both realize this, and so I must question again: Why be so obvious about idol hunting? Yeah, you can’t make a dedicated effort while on a firewood run, but it’s still a decent chance, gives you good cover, and doesn’t hurt you socially! God, I know an idol’s alluring, but you’d think superfans wouldn’t keep making this mistake!

Switching back to David, Davie manages to catch himself an octopus with the spear that is evidently standard equipment on “Survivor” now, as the Goliath tribe was seen with one earlier. Frankly, by the time he gets it back up to the shelter, it looks like an unappetizing ball of goo, but hey, food is food. Davie gets in the requisite “Davy Crockett” reference, before we move on to slightly less charming things. It seems Gervase Peterson (“Survivor Borneo”) has decided to channel his spirit onto this season, as Nick, despite being on the stronger end of things for this tribe, declares to the camera that he will not do any physical work, instead saving himself for the building of alliances. Oh, so taxing! Ah, but Nick doesn’t just build alliances, he builds NICKNAMED alliances! And suddenly, The Specialist has a new target. I wasn’t predisposed to like Nick before, but he’s quickly getting on my bad side. Not that you have to be a workhorse on “Survivor”, but the cocky attitude he brings with it is getting on my nerves. And I’m not the only one, as Carl comments to Pat on Nick’s work ethic/attitude, and begins to target him as a result.

Speaking of annoying things, let’s talk hypocrisy! For all that the Goliath tribe berated Mike for his blunt idol hunting, they’re now all going at it. Personally, I’m rooting for the duo of Alison and Angelina, and not just because Alison is probably playing the best game of everyone as of this first episode. Angelina rightly points out that women rarely find hidden immunity idols, and with Alison, sets out help correct this statistic, redeeming her slightly in my eyes. It’s all in vain, however. Turns out Dan is NOT happy to see us, and just has an idol in his pants. I will say, I really like them hiding Dan’s finding of the idol initially. It made what was otherwise a bog-standard idol hunt into something with a lot of mystery. I do wish they’d gone full Gary Hogeboom (“Survivor Guatemala”), and not showed us him finding the idol at all, but I can understand wanting to show were idols are hidden for viewer reference. This also shows us that Kara and Dan are definitely in an alliance, and puts Natalia in it by proxy.

Meanwhile, the David tribe is bonding over sob stories. With a torrential downpour, there’s nothing to do but sit around and share one’s life story. Jessica breaks down about the abusive relationship her mother was in, and everyone sympathizes, as well as chime in with their own stories of woe. Except for Nick. He doesn’t do that. Not because he’s a sociopath, or anything, he’s just private. Then, however, he realizes that maybe not opening up has alienated some people, and so tells the story of losing his mother. A touching tale, marred only by the fact that he waited until the middle of the night to tell said story, thereby waking everyone up. Everyone seems cool with it, but if it were up to me, I’d berate him for telling us this now, when it could wait until morning.

If the first immunity challenge is a barometer for the season (which I hope it isn’t), then this season is just ok. It’s another obstacle course/puzzle, and not even any choice, but it does change up a couple of things to make it interesting. There’s a lot of collision between the tribes right at the start of jumping over hitching posts, the puzzle is a new one (involving pushing numbers to get them in the right order), and the first one to dig under a log wins a time advantage for their tribe, releasing ladders by cutting a rope rather than untying knots. Now this last point would seem a bit unfair, due to easily lending itself to an insurmountable lead, but Goliath gets that particular advantage, and we know they’re going to Tribal Council. Look both sides have had good strategic talk, but while the alliances are clearer on David, targets are a lot more nebulous, whereas Goliath has been shown to have clear targets, meaning they must… win? Ok, show, points for actually doing a good job keeping the outcome of the challenge a mystery. Did not see a Goliath win. Oh, and my point about the unfairness of the chop portion? It still stands. It was a close race on the puzzle, meaning it must have come down to that time advantage.

Now, the show decides to test to see if the audience has peed during the commercial break, by bringing us back to gratuitous shots of the ocean waving and crashing, just to work those bladders like proverbial fiddles. No, no, there’s an actual purpose here: to show us the rough seas that will lead to our first elimination. A brutal physical challenge Pat can handle, but rough seas do something to his back. And I mean, this is no joking matter. They guy’s in rough shape, barely able to respond, and seems out of it. His tribe huddles at the treeline, praying that he’ll be ok. I give the production team credit for keeping an early medical evacuation quiet, but when there’s only 15 minutes left in the episode, it’s hard to keep the mystery going. Still, sometimes all you need is a touching, heartfelt moment, not mystery, and this certainly tugs at the heartstrings. True, Pat would be a longshot to win, but the guy’s got passion, and clearly knew what he was talking about, so seeing him in this much pain is a true loss. It would take someone with the subtlety of a wrecking ball to ruin his moment.

Enter Jeff Probst, to do his usual schtick of annoying the doctor. It’s slightly more necessary in this case, since Pat does need to be pulled, but still, it just breaks the moment. To Pat’s credit, he never stops fighting, going full on Russell Swan (“Survivor Samoa”), and begging to stay. It’s clear t all that he must leave, with Gabby ending us off by tying the whole thing back into the David vs. Goliath twist. Look, Gabby, I want to like you. You’re nerdy, you’re smart, and you are my preseason favorite. Please don’t ruin it by playing into the theme too much.

In spite of Jeff’s best efforts, this ends up being a very solid opening episode. The cast, by and large, proves as likable on screen as they were on paper, and we get a good bit of content from pretty much everyone. Really, and I hate to say this since he is generally good at hosting, this would have been better without Probst. All the major annoyances were the forced theme and lack of subtlety, pretty much all brought by Jeff. Still, if this first episode can be this good with Probst being this annoying, I eagerly await episodes where he works WITH the show, instead of against it.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs

“Idol Speculation” Delay

Hello my readers! Sorry to disappoint, but like the proverbial first boot, I am a bit too late on the uptake. After much debate, I have decided that with that long a premiere, with so much I want to discuss, and taking care of a new dog on top of all that, I just can’t get the blog out tonight. This will not be the case with later episodes (one hour means shorter blogs), but for tonight, I must decline my usual punctuality. That said, I have written an outline to keep my top thoughts in check, and promise to read no one else’s recap until I write mine, meaning all plagiarism will be entirely coincidental.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Worlds Apart

As promised, time once again for the return of “Survivor” Retrospectives, but given the season we have to talk about today, can you really blame me for some reluctance here? I mean, we’ve got to talk about “Survivor Worlds Apart”! Look, I try to give each season a fair shake, and this is hardly the worst of the worst, but it’s pretty bad. Still, it may have some redeeming value, so let’s take a moment and look closely for it.

First, though, a reminder for those who have forgotten during the long hiatus, this blog will spoil the season for you if you haven’t seen it already. For those just interested in my generic, spoiler-free opinion, scroll down to the bottom of the page and read the section labeled “Abstract”. Otherwise, if you’re looking for an in-depth look at the season that contains spoilers, read on, as we begin our dissection with probably the most important element of any season…

CAST

Sometimes I struggle a little bit with who exactly is the big name from the cast, but this is not one of those times. If you’ve literally been nicknamed “Amazing”, both by the players and the fanbase, you’ve got to be the big name out of the season. Yes, we have nowhere else to start but Joe “Joey Amazing” Anglim, the jeweler who made pretty much everyone fall in love. Joe was your standard archetype of the young, strong good at challenges guy who was inoffensive and contributed a lot to the survival aspects of the show. Kids loved watching him compete in challenges, and adults loved how much of a breath of fresh air he was when compared to your average cutthroat “Survivor” contestant. Granted, Worlds Apart is not known for being the most cutthroat of seasons, but the need is felt nonetheless. Sadly, I think Joe’s personableness only carries him so far, and while he’s definitely a nice guy, it’s a poor outlook on the season that he’s seen as a major character. Don’t get me wrong, I get why he’s loved, and he’s loved for legitimate reasons. Really, the problem with Joe is not that he isn’t a good character, but a problem with what season he’s on. Worlds Apart is season 30 for the show, and while impressive, the trouble is you start to see the character archetypes over and over again. We’ve seen the type of player Joe is before, most notably in Ozzy Lusth (“Survivor Cook Islands”). Now, a new character in an old archetype can definitely work, but they need to have some aspect of their personality that really sets them apart. Here’s where that “Inoffensive” bit I mentioned earlier comes back to bite Joe in the butt. He’s a nice guy, but nice guys rarely make a big impact, and as a result, Joe does not manage to stand out amongst his challenge-winning brethren.

Almost as big a character, and arguably a much better representative for the season, would be our eventual winner, Mike Holloway. We’ll get into this more in the “Twist” section, but Mike is best known as the winner who won by actually pulling off a complete immunity run. True, he didn’t win EVERY immunity prior to the end, and there was even a gap where he was forced to use a hidden immunity idol. Still, with everyone gunning for him, his strategy was risky, and therefore his streak legendary. Like Joe, Mike was another archetype we’d seen before, in this case the straight-talking simple man. However, Mike brought a crazy edge to the archetype all his own, throwing things at the wall to see what sticks, and oftentimes getting good results despite the odds. This, for me, is what makes Mike entertaining. He’s not a mastermind; he clearly doesn’t have his strategy planned out that far in advance. But he’s willing to try, and dives in with such gusto, and such little regard for the possible drawbacks, that it makes everything fascinating. It helps a lot that not every plan of his succeeds. If it did, then it would imply that his competitors were idiots. Instead, he had a good mix of success and failure, which showed him as an average guy trying to do what he could to win. Thus, Mike ends up being a relatable, but fun, winner to examine.

Sadly, we now must come to a pair that, while not together in any meaningful way during the game, do go together on the grounds of being the main factors that drag this season down. Those two are Dan Foley and Will Sims. These two, I can fairly safely say, embodied no archetype that we had really seen before, but DID do a great job coming off like complete jerks, to put it mildly. Mostly this centered around belittling fellow contestant Shirin Oskooi (whom we’ll discuss later), but they also made off-color jokes, and worst of all, seemed to have no self-awareness about how they came across. It’s one thing to insult people when you just make jokes about everyone, yourself included, it’s another thing entirely when you think you yourself don’t stink. Now, I know what people are going to say: “The producers manipulated them! There were extenuating circumstances!” While that may be true, that does not excuse them doing those actions. And these two make it FAR. They’re not some annoying characters who get a quick comeuppance. Instead, they’re mean to be MAJOR PLAYERS in the season! And that, there, is the crux of the problem.

On a slightly happier note, we have Carolyn “Mama C” Rivera. Carolyn was the older, cutthroat strategic lady of the season, who brought a fun spin to things by appearing to be unamused at most everything. Sometimes she was genuinely unamused, sometimes that’s just the way her face looks. Either way, it made for a fun bit of game. It would be like any time on “Star Trek” where Spock was surrounded by zany antics, and had to remain straight-faced the entire time. It helped a lot as well that Carolyn added more than a bit to the strategy of the season, and for one known for zany antics rather than cold, calculated strategy, it was a breath of fresh air for the strategy fans among us. If it hasn’t been clear, I LOVE Carolyn. Yeah, I was a bit harsh to her in my blogs at the time, but in my defense, I was REALLY not wild about blogging this season, and quick to find criticism. Carolyn may not make the “Survivor” hall of fame any time soon, but for this season, she’s quite a good character I’m happy to have in the annals of this season.

Ooh boy. Rodney Lavoie Jr. has to come up next, and he’s one of the hardest contestants I’ve ever had to judge for this series. Rodney exists to be comic relief, plain and simple. He spouts one-liners, does impressions, and has many a colorful metaphor at hand for virtually any situation. Comedy is very relative, however, and unfortunately, Rodney’s comedy doesn’t really hit home for me. This in and of itself would not be too bad (and, being objective here, a lot of people seemed to really enjoy it, and even I got a chuckle out of his “damn birthday” bits), were it not for the fact that Rodney kept getting in our proverbial faces. Seriously, when we were trying to make sense of this season, Rodney would always show up to knock everything off-kilter, which got frustrating very quickly. On top of this, Rodney also had that annoying habit of thinking he was the greatest thing since sliced bread, and lecturing to the camera about his superiority over his fellow contestants. Again, I can take bad comedy, but have some self-awareness, and don’t be afraid to joke about yourself. So, why is it that I’m conflicted about Rodney? Well, out of the game, he softened a lot. He made jokes about himself, and demonstrated both a humility and a self-awareness that made him retroactively more tolerable. For me, this is a case where the edit REALLY didn’t do a character justice. Out of the game, Rodney is a fairly funny average guy it’d be nice to grab a beer with. In the game, as it was edited for tv, Rodney is an annoying, overconfident distraction who drags further down an already bad season. So, what do I rate, the Rodney I knew at the time, or the Rodney I know post-game (or, at least, claim to know based on interviews and other press)? My only real call is to split the difference, and say that Rodney is not the worst addition to the season, but hardly the main selling point.

That about covers most everyone you’ll hear talked about in this day and age from this season. Some would argue that I should include Hali Ford and Sierra Dawn Thomas in this section, but really, they’re only remembered because they appeared on later season. Granted, Hali had that moment she compared flipping in “Survivor” to the American Revolution, and while a fun moment, one moment does not a character make. As for Sierra… she was tall? Yeah, that’s about all you get out of her this season, so let’s talk about those characters who were big at the time, but have since faded into obscurity.

Top of this list as someone who arguably still gets some play today is our second boot, coconut vendor Vince Sly. Just from that intro, you know he should be someone memorable as one of those wild-and-crazy guys you see on the show every so often. For his part, Vince does a good job in his role. While crazy guy is an easy role to make your own, Vince added a creep factor that made him fascinating to watch. Personal space is really not a concept Vince is good at, and while I’m sure it was much harder to live with, it was a hell of a lot of fun to watch on tv. Additionally, Vince had a lack of self-awareness to add to his fun. I know I’ve said that’s an annoying trait in a character, but Vince’s relatively short time in the game, coupled with him 100% being the butt of the joke here makes it ok. He makes an early alliance with Jenn Brown (oh, we’ll get to her), ostensibly a platonic one, but then becomes OBSESSED about her seeming infatuation with the aforementioned Joe. His exit may have been deserved, but if we were denied this feud for the rest of the game, it really is a shame. I think it really was just that early exit that doomed Mr. Sly to obscurity, even if he is one of the great crazy men of the show.

Following in the footsteps of fun weirdos is Max Dawson, our resident nerd of the season. With his distinctive silhouette (seriously, look at that beard), Max was always going to stand out, but again, how to distinguish himself from the “nerd” archetype? By being incredibly weird of course! Apart from taking his cue from Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”), and walking around naked all of the time, Max seemed to have no understanding of general social niceties, from no knowing when to shut up, to putting his foot in the pot for their drinking water (though I give him a pass on this last point, as he was TOLD to do so by his tribe for a stingray sting). Again, this could easily have been annoying, but with his short time in the game, coupled with his obvious good humor about the whole thing (seriously, the guy is nothing but cheerful the entire time), you can’t help but like Max, even if he is a bit of a helpless goober. Again, I think his relative lack of time in the game kind of doomed him to obscurity, and he certainly wouldn’t be the main draw of any season, but for what he brought, I think he did a good job.

Max’s partner in crime was the aforementioned Shirin, who really I think gets a bum rap these days. Shirin started out just as crazy, if not crazier, than Max. Need I remind you that this was the lady who watched monkey coitus, and then told the rest of her tribe about it in nauseating detail. And initially, Shirin seemed like a less self-aware, less interesting Max. However, what Shirin lacked in initial interest, she made up for in character development. Being spared by Max’s exit, Shirin was able to look at her game and attempt to develop into a much better player. By most metrics, she succeeded. Granted, by the time she did so, she was in the minority alliance, so it was too late to do much of anything, but the effort is there. Sharon upped her social game, talked strategy, and attempted to make big moves. She also gained a lot of sympathy, due to being the target of the aforementioned Dan and Will ire, but then got a great badass moment of denying Will a letter from home as the sole dissent. All this sounds like the making of a fascinating “Survivor” character, so why is she not remembered so much these days? Unfortunately, Shirin would return on the next season, and put simply, would not do so well. For whatever reason, this doomed her in the character department, and makes her forgotten today, which to my mind is a shame. She had a good story, good growth, and I think could be a power player if given another chance.

Now, I’ve been pretty positive on the forgotten players of the season. That ends here with the discussion of our last player in this category, Jenn Brown. Initially, Jenn seemed like a great addition to the cast. Young, athletic, and with a good head on her shoulders, Jenn seemed like a savvy player to root for. And she might have been, IF SHE HAD ANY INTEREST IN PLAYING THE GAME! Oh, but this wasn’t just moral conflict or apathy, no no no! Those might have actually been tolerable. Instead, Jenn had an open disdain for the game, and was not shy about letting other people know about it. This made her preachy and irritating. As fans of the show, we want to see invested people. Anything else is just a waste of a spot. The final nail in the coffin for Jenn is her ultimate (effectively) quit, thus consigning her to the realm of obscurity. For her apathy, good riddance I say!

As to those I think need more love… there really aren’t any. Yeah, I’m normally the first to complain about the fanbase being fickle, but in this case, while some people ended up forgotten despite popularity at the time, and could use more attention, I think the fans were spot-on. Those that deserve to be remembered (for good and for ill) are, and those that aren’t are consigned to obscurity. Good on you, fanbase. That said, the cast for this season still does not hold up well. There are a few good standouts, but in the overall history of “Survivor”, they’re mid-level characters at best. Then, when your discussion of a cast inevitably centered around bulying, you’re not setting a good example, and really dragging your season down.

Score: 3 out of 10.

CHALLENGES

Unlike the cast, I can actually be somewhat positive about the challenges this season. None of them area really the stuff of legend, but here the challenge department started experimenting a little. There weren’t that many repeat challenges this season, which is always a plus, and where we got familiar concepts, we started getting shake-ups to them. A lot of challenges involved choice or some other cerebral aspect in the middle, as opposed to at the end, of the challenge, which makes the challenges stand out in a good way. As I’ll discuss in the “Overall” section, this season had a theme of “Shipwreck”, and they actually did a decent job of incorporating this into challenges. Again, not the stuff of legend, but it helps the season stand out from the competition, which deserves a decent score, at least.

Score: 6 out of 10.

TWISTS

While not immediately apparent from the title of “Worlds Apart”, this season was centered around what’s commonly referred to as the “Collars” twist. This being a three tribe season, the tribes were divided based on their status in life: White Collar, Blue Collar, or No Collar, for those who didn’t fit neatly into either category. With the reusing of locations, I get the need to theme your seasons, but this is the first one that felt really forced. Something like Brains Brawn and Beauty makes sense. It’s a logical division people might subconsciously think about throughout their day. But collars? Yeah, not exactly the most natural of divisions. However, all that could be forgiven if the twist was unobtrusive, and the cast interesting. Sadly, as I’ve discussed, the cast was sub-par, and we seemed unable to go an episode without Probst forcing the idea of “collars” into the discussion somehow. We tried to forget, but he would not allow it. Hence, this section starts out on a low note.

Things don’t get much better with a “leader” twist. Right out of the gate, each team has to pick a leader, who then picks a co-leader. The purpose of these leaders is not immediately apparent, but after arriving at camp, it transpires that these leaders must go off and make a choice: either get more rice for the tribe, or a clue to an idol. And this would be kind of a fascinating twist… FOR ONE PERSON! I get the need to change things up, and a adding a co-leader certainly fulfills that requirement, but it also disincentives making any choice but taking the rice. An idol clue for one person is a big advantage, possibly work screwing the tribe over for. Between two people? Not so much. Sure, So and Joaquin on Masaya (the “White Collar” tribe) did do it regardless, but since both left before the merge, I’m going to say it was not a smart idea.

Moving on to the realm of GOOD ideas, we have our first immunity challenge, which is a primary example of the “choices” I was talking about earlier. At first glimpse, this is your standard “obstacle course with a puzzle at the end” challenge we’ve seen a bunch before, but with some twists. The challenge requires a ladder, which must be freed in one of two ways: either undo a bunch of knots, or unlock three locks. The former is consistent, but takes a decent amount of time. If you’re lucky, the latter might not take much time, but could also take an inordinate amount of time. It’s the latter choice, however, that’s the really great one, in my opinion. Rather than one puzzle, each tribe has a choice of three. Each puzzle has a different number of pieces, but the fewer pieces there are, the more obscure the puzzle gets. For all my kvetching, this is a great way to start off the season, getting us insight into how the teams work together, and spicing up an otherwise bog-standard challenge.

Our first player-induced twist comes with an episode two blindside. This is a Nagarote (the “No Collar” tribe) tribal council, and this tribe had been divided between two threesomes. There was the “Normal” threesome of Joe, Jenn, and Hali, against the “Weird” threesome of Will, Vince, and Nina. This in and of itself makes for an intense Tribal Council, but adding in Vince to the mix only makes things crazier. A split vote plan gave the “weird” threesome a chance to take control, but paranoia about Will’s challenge ability (he’s not the greatest) made him rethink things, leading to the aforementioned blindside of Vince. While definitely a loss, it was a very entertaining Tribal Council.

Not much else happens until the tail end of episode four, when we get a tribe swap. If you think they’re going to do it in a new and interesting way well then, you don’t know modern “Survivor”. Yeah, it’s just randomly done, with the new Nagarote getting screwed in terms of challenge ability, because we’ve never seen a situation like that before! At least they brought interesting dynamics. Unlike the new Escameca, where original tribe members had a clear majority, Nagarote was a 3-3-1 split between the old Masaya and the old Nagarote, with Kelly being caught in the middle as the one. Unsurprisingly, she was courted by both sides, but there was more intrigue than just that. Rather than the sides being solid, Carolyn was sick of dealing with Max and Shirin (who went to the new tribe with her), and thus Max was blindsided. Not the most exciting defeat ever, but better than a normal “Which side will they go to?” question.

Adding further interest, Nagarote overcame their relative weakness to win the next two challenges! Granted, the immunity challenge was thrown by Mike to make sure Kelly stuck around, but still, a fun watch. This culminated in the blindside of Joaquin, in a power grab by Mike. Joaquin was voted out over the more athletic Joe, due to the former developing a relationship with Rodney, which Mike saw as a threat. Again, an intriguing episode, and one that would have consequences down the road. Don’t expect this kind of competence much, though, it’s not coming again.

And so we come to the merge. Now, as merges go, this was decently exciting. Some good inter-alliance play, but really, with Joe around, you knew whatever alliance he was in would be targeted by everyone else, thus putting the former Nagarote (save Will, but including Shirin) on the outs. However a well-timed idol play by Jenn saved her, and ended up eliminating Kelly. Sorry to see her go, since she was a big part of the strategy of the season, but it at least temporarily stopped the season from being predictable. After this, it would be normal vote after normal vote. There would be some drama about Jenn quitting, but since she didn’t, it was mostly just a straight Pagonging of the alliance with the strong guy in it.

I say “mostly” because the auction did come with some excitement this season. First, there was the new twist: Will bought the first mystery item, which turned out to be a big mistake, as said item eliminated him from the auction entirely. He would get a secret stash of food , which does shake up the auction bit, but we’ll talk about that in a minute. More important is what happened with the family letters and advantages at the auction. Carolyn, Dan, and Mike all agreed to pay for the letters from home, keeping them at the same level for the future advantage. Mike, however, went last, and attempted to reneg on the deal. I like the gustiness of this move, and fallout was well deserved. Mike got read the riot act from everyone else, and then made the particularly dumb move on caving in. Now, not only did everyone still hate him, but he had no advantage to show for it. The three had to draw rocks for it, with Dan getting the advantage. While definitely fun from a chaos perspective, it was tinged with the negativity that, as I’ll discuss, so affects this season.

And what was this advantage everyone was bidding on? An unexpected extra vote! Yes, for the first time, one could choose to vote twice at Tribal Council. A decently powerful twist, and one well worth implementing, though I’d say later seasons would do it better. As a prototype, though, it’s all right. Shame it had to go to Dan, though.

So, let’s talk about Will’s secret stash. Correctly realizing that it would be difficult to keep hidden, Will shared the stash with the others. Shirin made the unfounded, but not unreasonable, accusation that Will had hidden some of the stash for himself. If Will had simply argued back this would barely have been worth mentioning. But no, Will instead has to make everything personal. See what I mean about the ugliness of this season? On the plus side, this did lead to a badass moment for Shirin. Will, upset at not getting to bid for his family letter, asked to sit out the immunity challenge for it. Prost agreed, but only on the condition that the rest of the tribe agree as well. Shirin stood up and effectively said no. Not malicious, but a good bit of empowerment.

The Pagonging continues until only Mike is left on the outs. This is where Mike’s streak starts up, beginning with an idol play that blindsides Tyler. Tyler was a good strategist, but never really relevant to the season, so this is not a bad start to Mike’s reign of terror. At this point it’s a downward slope to Mike’s win, but we do get some shake-ups here and there. In the penultimate episode, Dan uses his votes to try and save himself against a possible coup. In response, Carolyn plays her idol, thus causing the very coup that Dan feared. Then there’s the fact that Mike doesn’t just want to win, he wants those he perceives as having betrayed him (Rodney and Sierra) to suffer, manipulating things to make sure they exit the game. This did cause some good alliance shifts, but with such a foregone conclusion, it’s basically one blip of niceness over the course of a boring conclusion.

On paper, Worlds Apart sounds better than it actually is. True, there’s a lot of Pagonging going on, as well as a disdain for actual strategists. However, all that could be forgiven in the cast was pleasant to each other. But they’re not. They just go on being jerks to one another, and it just ruins the otherwise good points of this section. I still stand by those challenge twists, though.

Score: 4 out of 10.

OVERALL

Despite not taking place in the South Pacific, Worlds Apart somehow managed to have the obstacle of “Generic South Pacific Island” going against it. Impressive enough in and of itself, but more impressive is how the season triumphs in its adversity. You see, rather than the plastic look of a lot of more recent seasons, Worlds Apart really went in for the hand-made look. They even got it into the challenges! One particularly memorable one had contestants using machetes as carrying platforms. That’s both clever, and impressive! All this is undone, however, by the merge tribe name. “Merica”? Really? You couldn’t come up with anything better?

Sadly, this is where the praise ends. Worlds Apart was not doomed in concept, but it needed a REALLY strong cast to pull through. What we got was a bunch of idiots who didn’t care about the game looking down on those who do. When your audience is mostly made up of hardcore gamers, this PROBABLY isn’t the look you’re going for. On top of that, everything felt SUPER personal this season. This was a cast unafraid to go on the personal attack, and it really dragged everything down. If that wasn’t there, I could look back on the season with apathy, maybe a little respect. Instead, all I see is disgust, and that’s really the biggest problem of this season.

Score: 14 out of 40.

ABSTRACT

Worlds Apart is just simply an unpleasant season. Maybe if you’re someone who really likes watching interpersonal fights, this season’s for you. Otherwise, stay away. The only thing I could say to recommend this season is that it does get a fair number of returnees, but since they’re all pretty much blank slates, it’s hardly necessary to understand future seasons.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Cast Assessment

By the power of Hidden Immunity Idols, give my blogging LIFE!

Yeah, so it’s been a while. My off-season content has been dropping off, especially after obtaining full-time employment, but this is a new low for me. Not even ONE bit of content between the end of “Survivor Ghost Island” and the cast announcement for “Survivor David vs. Goliath”, a much worse title, but hopefully a better season. Now, I could make excuses about the demands of my job, vacations I’ve taken, or the simple fact of moving to a new apartment, but they would just be that: excuses. Simply put, the writing bug just hasn’t bitten, but sometimes you need to take the flyswatter and get the bug yourself. Of course, that would metaphorically kill the urge to write… You know what, this metaphor is confused! I just didn’t write, and I’m sorry. I promise to try harder in the future.

And speaking of the future, it actually looks decently bright for “Survivor David vs. Goliath”, dumb title and all! To give some summary thoughts early, while this doesn’t seem like the most exciting cast right off of the bat, they all seem fairly likable. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi to this group that, even if they might not be legendary, makes me really want to find out more about them. Thus making it all the more IRRITATING that CBS has released no videos of these individuals, meaning I’m going off of written bios ALONE. Yeah, way to get people hyped for your season, CBS. I’m sure limiting information is EXACTLY the way to attract us to this new group. Without further ado, but with limited information, let’s discuss these newbies, starting with…

THE DAVID TRIBE (Yes, that’s really what they’re called, God help us)

Bi Nguyen (28, MMA Fighter, Houston, TX): Right off the bat, we get someone who defies expectations, and I love it. We’ve had these sort of athletes before on “Survivor”, but rarely have they been women. Bi is someone who defies expectations, and therefore stands out. Normally, this would make her a major threat, but in this case, the differences are an upward comparison. Bi, at first glance, comes across as the “hot girl in bikini” role, and also fills the role of “Asian American Female” on the show, a role now infamous for its general short-livedness on “Survivor”. However, Bi has the BIG advantage of being on a season where most of the women are not going to be that good at the physical aspects of the game (though, to be fair, a lot of the guys aren’t going to be either), and thus Bi will be a necessity early on. Barring some sort of nerd-down or girly-girl down (and in both cases, Bi seems adept enough to navigate those troubled waters), she’s in it for the long hall. I see her being a mid-to-late merge boot, probably after the end of a individual immunity streak. If nothing else, I hope she last long so as to break the damn “curse” about Asian-American Women on this show.

Carl Boudreaux (41, Truck Driver, Houston, TX): Ok, I swear not everyone on this tribe is from Houston. Though so far, Houston is doing a good job representing. Carl is on the older end of things this season, though unlike “Survivor Ghost Island”, this is by no means a death knell, as the age divide is not quite as severe as that season. In a sense, Carl exemplifies what this season’s cast shapes up to be: not the most exciting, but likable enough in their own way. To me, Carl doesn’t stand out much as a character, but nor does he offend me. He seems like a nice, fairly normal guys who’s going to be inoffensive and not make waves on the show. Such people tend to have a decent shelf life, but are unlikely to win. Given that Carl seems like he’d be a decent challenge competitor, I put him as a late pre-merge/early merge boot, depending on how kind a tribe swap is to him.

Christian Hubicki (32, Robotics Scientist, Tallahassee, FL): Wow, just when you thought Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”) couldn’t get any skinnier. Ok, ok, I jest, but Christian does fall into that sort of stereotype very easily, and bears a certain physical resemblance to the man. Christian establishes himself early as a “Survivor” nerd, referencing some more obscure bits of “Survivor” lore, clearly being excited to be on this show, and even ridiculously suggesting bringing a graphing calculator to help build the shelter (though admittedly, that last part could actually be useful). Really, the big thing that makes Christian stand out to me is the fact that he seems more self-confident than people who fit his stereotype are. This is both a blessing and a curse for Christian. From a character standpoint, it’s a blessing, as he’s going to be different from what we’ve seen, and therefore an intriguing watch. It’s a curse because part of what’s helped people in that stereotype succeed is a combination of being underestimated/self-deprecating humor. Christian has a certain amount of self-deprecation, but not to the levels of, say, a Cochran or a Stephen Fishbach (“Survivor Tocantins”). This will make him more of a target later on, and thus I expect him out in the early merge. He might be able to hold things together a while, but soon the urge to scheme will be too strong, and he will proverbially fly too close to the sun.

Davie Rickenbacker (30, Social Media Manager, Atlanta, GA): Speaking of charming, while Carl might have exemplified the cast as a whole, Davie is probably the one who best turns on the charm. So much so that he’s my male pick to win the season, in spite of some glaring flaws in his bio. To get the bad stuff out of the way: He’s a talker. He has easily one of the most verbose bios this season, and while that’s fun for us watching, talking too much can be irritating to live with, not to mention a liability for an alliance. Also, he mentions one of his pet peeves is not being told what’s going on, but still expected to follow orders. In a game where being a loyal number at times can be an asset, this may be trouble. But dammit, the man makes me smile, and if he can do that with a bio alone, I can only imagine how good he is in person. We’ve seen that players based in the social media world can be geniuses at the game (see Bracco, Aubry), and I fully expect Davie to join their ranks. Plus, one of his other pet peeves is not being called by his proper name, and that makes me laugh for some reason. You won me over, dude. You win.

Elizabeth Olson (31, Kitchen Staff, Longview, TX): Elizabeth is one of the younger people we’ve talked about so far, but you wouldn’t guess that if her age were taken out of the equation. She’s a motherly type, and looks the part as well. She seems nice enough, but unfortunately on “Survivor”, that’s usually not an asset. In a close quarters environment, unless mothering is done with great finesse, people tend to bridle under it, and vote off the object of said mothering out of spite alone. Don’t get me wrong, Elizabeth might have untold finesse that I’m not aware of, but when you list your pet peeves as “laziness, a lack of common sense, and whiners”, three things you are VERY likely to come across on “Survivor”, and I see Elizabeth quickly turning into a cross mother, who will bet her torch snuffed shortly. Add onto that no particular physical prowess, and I don’t see Elizabeth making the merge at all. I doubt she’ll be the very first one off, but I just think too many cards are stacked against her.

Gabby Pascuzzi (25, Technical Writer, Denver, CO): My personal favorite of the season, and no, it’s not just because she compares herself to Aubry Bracco (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”), my personal all-time favorite player. The comparison is not unwarranted, as both are young, openly nerdy social players hoping to capitalize on those smarts. Sadly, I think Aubry has a charisma and an awareness that Gabby lacks, and thus will likely not fare nearly as well as our lady of the Aubry Lobby. As much as I want her to win, Gabby simply stands out too much, and while she does have some social strengths in the game, I doubt they’ll be enough to save her. She’s definitely a pre-merge boot, and I will be all the sorrier for it. But come on, someone who compares themselves to multiple past contestants in specific ways (as I think everyone answering that question should do), isn’t from California, Texas, or Florida, and has a disdain for those who refuse to accept that facts are facts? How can I not root for this girl? Aubry proved me (Kaoh) wrong, here’s hoping Gabby can as well!

Jessica Peet (19, Waitress, Lakeland, FL): Ooh dear. Sometimes we’re good at defying stereotypes, sometimes we’re not. Jessica, unfortunately, is not. While a lot of the people cast to be the “hot young person in a swimsuit” have at least some depth to them, Jessica is not one of those people. She seems relatively weak, uninteresting, and has almost no defining qualities outside of being pretty. This spells an easy fate of her being the first one voted out this season. Simply put, there’s no reason to keep her around, and given her age/physicality, I could see her costing her tribe the first challenge. No way she wins, and most likely the generic early boot that everyone forgets.

Lyrsa Velez (36, Airline Agent, Boston, MA): While I admire her for trying to emulate the game of Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”), I fear that it may be just because both are of Puerto Rican descent. Lyrsa definitely seems like a fun character, but I fear she will be another short-lived one. Lyrsa strikes me as being the type who speaks her mind and isn’t afraid to make enemies. Another one who’s fun to watch, but may not necessarily be cut out for “Survivor”. If she can keep her personality under control, only using it strategically to bond with others, she should do well, as she seems like less of a challenge liability than a lot of people on this tribe. If, as I suspect, she is unable to, she’s definitely another pre-merge boot from this tribe. Again, definitely not the first, as she’ll be kept for a round or two for her strength, but probably not going to make the merge based on personality alone.

Nick Wilson (27, Public Defender, London, KY): Nick is very clearly going for the Chris Hammons (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”) gambit of being the educated redneck. I’ll give him credit that he lives up to the “redneck” part of it, speaking fairly simply and talking of bringing beers and a radio to “Survivor”. Unfortunately, what made Chris both an intriguing character and good “Survivor” player is that while he outwardly projected the “redneck” aspect, he was inwardly very intelligent. If Nick has this intelligence, he hides it EXCEEDINGLY well. Call me crazy, but this guy seems like all surface, no substance, though in terms of time in the game, that may not be entirely a bad thing. He’s one of the most clearly athletic guys out there, and a definite challenge asset on a tribe that badly needs challenge assets. His lack of intelligence means that once we hit the merge he won’t be able to save himself, but since we have others here that are a good combination of brains and brawn, I seem him lasting a good long while, possibly the mid-merge, before he’s the biggest fish in the pond, and gets himself snuffed for it.

Pat Cusack (40, Maintenance Manager, Watervliet, NY): Pat is one of the very few people we’ve seen at least SOME video of (he released a short clip of himself teasing the cast release), and is therefore one of the ones I’m most excited about. Even in a 10-second video, the man manages to be compelling. He even makes me like swear-word comedy, which is easily one of my least-favorite forms of comedy. Somehow, he just makes it clear that he’s just being himself, and means nothing by anything offensive, even if he really does mean it. This is a rare gift, and one that allows you to insult people with ease on “Survivor”, thus adding to the fun. With no real reason to be rid of him, but no real threat to be seen, Pat should be around a good long while. Late merge, I’d say, with a possible dark-horse shot to win the whole thing. Either way, I’ll be laughing.

THE GOLIATH TRIBE (Again, not making this up)

Alec Merlino (24, Bartender, San Clemente, CA): Alec is a bro. This is simply reflected in his bio, where he compares himself to Jay Starrett (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”), Joe Anglim (“Survivor Worlds Apart”), and Malcolm Freberg (“Survivor Philippines”). This would seem to be an all-star resume to copy, as out of six times playing the game between the three of them, five of them have been jury-making runs. However, I think Alec overestimates his charm and his intellect. Between his smarminess and seeming not too bright, I seem him following more the archetype of Drew Christy (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”). You know, Drew “Basically I’m a Badass” Christy, the man so obnoxious the tribe threw a challenge purely to be rid of him. Yeah, not a good comparison for me to jump to. I’d say that Alec would be safe for a little while, given his athletic prowess, but unfortunately, unlike the David tribe, the Goliath tribe has an abundance of physical strength. Thus, those in trouble early will be those who are harder to get along with, and so I’d say Alec is not making the merge of this group. I think he’ll survive until the switch at least, but a merge triber he is not.

Alison Raybould (28, Physician, Chapel Hill, NC): In order to talk about Alison, I need to talk a bit about the Goliath tribe as a whole. Perhaps because of the overall likability of the cast, it’s hard to get a read on how tribe dynamics as a whole will play out, but one thing I can say is that anyone who starts on the Goliath tribe is a longshot to win the game. Not because they’re bad players or anything, but simply due to human nature. We like the underdog. We root for the underdog. We want to see the underdog succeed. By dividing this season as the show has done, they effectively ruin the chances for half the cast. Put even one original David in the finals, and I almost guarantee the David will win, no matter how poor a game they played. It’s the same logic behind targeting the winners on “Survivor All-Stars”: no one wants to see the winners win again. With all that said, if there’s going to be someone who can overcome what I’m calling the “Goliath Handicap”, it is Alison. While by no means the most stand-out person on this cast, she has a charm and quiet intelligence that speak to overall good skills in the game of “Survivor”. And, in fact, these being quiet may be an asset, allowing her to manipulate from the shadows while never truly being threatening. It helps that Alison also hasn’t been as obviously “successful” as other members of her tribe, thus giving her more of an argument in the end. For all these reasons, Alison is my female pick for the winner of the season. Perhaps a controversial choice given the tribe she’s on, but like I said before, I think she has what’s needed to overcome it, and it would certainly make the season more interesting if we didn’t entirely write off half the cast at one go.

Angelina Keeley (28, Financial Consultant, San Clemente, CA): Evidently CBS has been recruiting in San Clemente this year. Sadly, they don’t find the most interesting people there. Angelina is one of very few people on this season that I get nothing from. She just doesn’t strike me as memorable, doesn’t strike me as charming, doesn’t strike me as having hidden depths, and doesn’t strike me as secretly a liability. Again, on this tribe, that may be an asset, and with no reason for her to be voted out, I see no reason for her not to make the merge. If there was to be a victim of an “idol blindside” or decoy vote, then Angelina would probably be it, and as most such people go out around the mid-merge, I’d say that’s where Angelina’s game ends as well.

Dan Rengering (27, SWAT Officer, Gainesville, FL): Dan here reminds me a lot of Michael Yerger from “Survivor Ghost Island”. Enthusiastic younger guy with good athleticism, compelling story, and more going on under the hood, proverbially speaking, than one might think at first glance. The guy’s claim to fame is earning his way to the SWAT Team from being overweight through hard work, proving that while the term “Goliath” may be a death knell in game-terms, it’s by no means a guarantee of actually leading a charmed life. Like Michael before him, I think Dan and his easygoing nature should easily coast through the first phases of this game, but also like Michael, Dan will find out there’s only so long you can hide. I’d call him an early to mid-merge boot simply for being too much of a threat with too good of a sob story, but he could also surprise me and be a dark horse victor. Dude’s got potential, but I’m not sure this is the season for him to win on.

Jeremy Crawford (40, Attorney, New York, NY): You may have noticed in reading my assessments that I tend to focus a lot on pet peeves, more so than other sections of the biographies I read. While others, such as while player one identifies with, can be fun for snark or provide a little insight, in terms of time in the game, I find this information to be most helpful. Bear in mind, you live with your tribe 24/7. There really is no escaping them. As such, what little things wear on you have a big bearing on how you will get along with your tribe. I bring this up partly to justify myself, but also to explain why I don’t think Jeremy is going to quite make it in this game. On the surface, the guy seems charming, athletic, and easygoing. But look at his pet peeves: “Lateness, illogicalness, and entitlement” Unlike some other ones from this cast (people driving slowly in the left lane, for example), these are things likely to come up in the game of “Survivor”, and ones likely to wear on Jeremy quickly. Add onto that him comparing himself to Jeremy Collins (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”), but then immediately saying he can’t fly below the radar (beyond just being bad strategy, it was a major part of how Jeremy ultimately achieved victory), and this guy is a recipe for a pre-merge boot. I’ll admit this is a controversial call, but reading between the lines, I think Jeremy has hidden negatives we have yet to see, and it will cost him.

John Hennigan (38, Pro Wrestler, Los Angeles, CA): I’ll admit, my opinion of John has improved since reading his bio, but that’s largely to do with how low it was. In looks alone, he reminded me of John Rocker (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”), and when I found out he was a pro wrestler, I was certain his personality would be as grating as that of John Rocker. However, this John does seem to have more of a lid on things, less of a temper, and is overall pretty chill by pro wrestler standards. That said, if you know anything about pro wrestling, you’ll know that its competitors are known for being over the top, and while not as bad as some of his compatriots in this field, John is no exception. As such, I look for him to be a late pre-mer/early merge boot. He could turn out to be a surprise if he can really dial his personality down on the island, but even the nicest pro wrestler is hard to live with long term.

Kara Kay (30, Realtor, San Diego, CA): Kara is another one I have difficulty getting a read on, though what few vibes I do get aren’t good. She complains about obnoxious people (because of course “Survivor” would NEVER cast someone incredibly obnoxious), and compares herself to Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Cook Island”), the go-to comparison of the young and beautiful. The words that jump out at me when I see her are “casual”, “recruit”, and “uninteresting”. I’m less confident in my predictions here than with others, but something about her just seems expendable to me. I don’t see her fighting hard to stay in the game, and as such I predict her as another pre-merge boot, if only as that easy vote a tribe needs to get through at some point.

Mike White (47, Filmmaker, Los Angeles, CA): What do you get when you cross the worst aspects of Chet Welch (“Survivor Micronesia”) and Michael Snow (“Survivor Caramoan”)? Someone destined for an early demise! Yeah, much as Mike seems like he’s a cool guy in real life, I just don’t see him lasting. He’s very much on the older end of the spectrum, and outright going to be one of the weakest in challenges. Given the tribe he’s on, this would be fine if he’s easy to get along with, but he compares himself to Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Cook Islands”), who is not exactly known for his easygoing demeanor. With almost nothing to recommend him, I’m putting Mike as yet another early boot for the season, probably even pre-swap.

Natalia Azoqa (25, Industrial Engineer, Irvine, CA): Natalia was very close to being my female winner pick, and I’d still put her in yet another dark horse winner spot. She stands out a little more than Alison, coming across as yet another person cast for how they look in a swimsuit, but unlike others, Natalia seems to have a grit and determination that I find fascinating. Also, unlike others cast to fit such a mold, Natalia is in a career that requires actual intelligence, without giving away said intelligence bluntly like others I’ve talked about in this assessment. Because of some stand-out qualities, I don’t quite peg Natalia as a winner, but she’s definitely a late-merge boot, and again, could very easily pull out a dark-horse victory if others aren’t careful.

Natalie Cole (56, Publishing CEO, Los Angeles, CA): Just as it is law that young, attractive women must put Parvati as the former contestant they most relate to, so it is law that all older black women cast on the show compare themselves to Cirie (“Survivor Exile Island”). Though less overused, I find this comparison more annoying. Parvati’s definitely a good player, but Cirie is one of a kind, with a charm so infectious it makes people behave like morons. Very few people have such a gift, and Natalie, while charming in her own right, is nowhere close. As the oldest woman on the season, and with a number of pet peeves relating to personality types commonly found on “Survivor”, Natalie rounds us out as yet another pre-merge boot. It’s a shame to see, as the woman clearly has accomplished a lot in life, and I certainly don’t see her being the first target. The simple fact is there’s just too much working against her, and not enough for her, and so, despite my general fondness towards her, she is done for.

And there you have the cast. Despite my pessimism about some of their chances, I feel cautiously optimistic about this group. I’m not chomping at the bit to see what they do, but a lot of them have great potential, and no one jumps out at me as annoying. Really, my big complaint is the theme. It feels forced, like a lot of “theme” seasons these days, but like I mentioned before, the big drawback is that we can basically eliminate half the cast before we start. The Goliath tribe, despite the name, has a long hill to climb.

Before we end this off, let me briefly discuss the introduced new twist. This season will have an “Idol Nullifier”, basically a vote you can secretly cast for someone, separate from a regular vote. If said person plays an idol, but gets the vote for them, votes for them still count. Like the season, I’m reserving judgement until I see it play out. On the one hand, I feel like it’s so hard to pull off that it doesn’t really matter, and will likely have no impact. Plus, it’s adding yet ANOTHER twist in a show already getting oversaturated with twists. On the other hand, it could make for some good bluffing, and I don’t see a way to alter it to be more effective without making it overpowered. If there’s a choice between an overpowered or underpowered twist, I vastly prefer an underpowered one, as at least it keeps fairness intact. Going back to the bluffing point, though, I feel like bluffing can be done well enough with idols, and so the twist seems unnecessary. Again, I won’t condemn it just yet, but I’m not holding my breath to see how this twist turns out.

Now, normally I’d sign off until the season starts proper, but I feel really bad about not giving you guys off-season content, so you’ll hear from me again before the season starts. Tune in soon for the return on “Survivor Retrospectives”!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.