Idol Speculation: “Survivor Worlds Apart” Episode 1: Liberty and Sandwiches for All

Well, here we are, gentle readers. Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to. But not just any “Idol Speculation”. This is the “Idol Speculation” for the first episode of season 30. Yes, “Survivor” has now been on the air for 15 years, and shows no signs of slowing down. Good to know that my hobby will be endorsed for years to come. The question now is, was this an episode fitting for a “Survivor” anniversary, or shall it be thrown down with the likes of “Survivor Fiji”? Does this cast live up to Probst’s hype, or does it belong to the “Russell Hantz” (“Survivor Samoa”) category of awful? Did the misdirection work, or did we have our first vote GPS fully charged? Ok, that last question was kind of forced, but nevertheless, all these questions and more will be answered in tonight’s “Idol Speculation”. But first, a word from our sponsor, specifically…
MATT’S MESS-UP!
It’s rare, but I do occasionally get a few factoids wrong in my cast assessment, and I feel they need to be addressed, lest my credentials as an Uber-“Survivor”-Nerd be questioned. Fortunately, they’re mostly relegated to the realm of typos. First off, I erroneously gave the name of the No Collar Tribe as “Nargarote”, when it actually should be “Nagarote”. Secondly, and more shameful, is the fact that I misattributed Dawn Meehan’s flak her second time around to be from “Survivor Cagayan”, when it was actually “Survivor Caramoan”. A pretty bad mistake, but in my defense, I was tired, and they’re both seasons in the Philippines that start with “C”, so I consider it at least somewhat justified.
What I cannot justify, however, is the opening to this season. Look at it at first, it seems ok. Decent nature shots set above nice music. It is the music, however, that is the problem. It’s didgeridoo music. Now, normally I wouldn’t mind this, I quite like didgeridoo music, except for the fact that Nicaragua is nowhere NEAR Australia! Thus, there’s a disconnect between the music and locale, and it feel inappropriate. Were this meant to be a season that honored all the previous seasons (read “an All-Star Season”), this would be fine, but this season goes out of its way to act like it’s the premiere of just any other season, meaning the music makes no sense. Don’t get me wrong, this in no way ruins the episode, it’s just a bit of an odd note to start off on.
But oh, just because they don’t want to put emphasis on this being a “Survivor” anniversary does not mean they’re not hyping something into oblivion. No, Probst has evidently decided that this “Collars” twist is a real influential social experiment, and so needs to rehype every way we’ve had each of the collars described to us before. Frankly, I’m just sick of it. It comes out a lot in this episode, so I’ll get out of the way here that I’m NOT a fan of the collar’s twist. Somehow, it feels very artificial and tacked on. On top of that, while it is new, that doesn’t make it innovative. As I’ve said before, this basically plays out as “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty 2.0”, and while “Survivor Cagayan” is a great season to emulate, you need to not draw attention to that fact. Yet Probst insists on deluding us that this is some great social experiment, when in reality, it reeks of desperation. And again, I wouldn’t have a problem with this, since the tribes need to be divided by some arbitrary means, and this is no more painful than some others, but given how much they TALK about how INNOVATIVE it is, it just drives me nuts. We don’t even get good vehicle porn this year, just standard trucks driving in our contestants. Give credit where credit is due, though, they did go all out to get trucks that exactly matched the colors of each tribe. That’s dedication. Also, while the intro itself was pretty bad, it did end on the high note of seeing Probst stranded in the middle of the ocean on a bunch of desolate rocks. Not that I want to Probst left in the middle of the ocean to die, of course, but it made for a striking image to close out the intro on.
One other big thing I should complement this intro on, though, is the spread of people we got. Normally, in these intros, we hear from only a couple people on each tribe, the ones CBS wants us to really focus on. While I wouldn’t say this season got to interview absolutely EVERYBODY right off the bat, before the first commercial break, we’d heard from a lot of people. I’m a fan of interview parity, not just out of fairness, but also because it masks who will be important later, which adds to the unpredictability of the episode. Kudos, producers. Now do this for the rest of the seasons.
Having finally gotten past the Probst narration, the tribes are deposited one by one by one on the beach, leading Probst to tell us what each collar represents AGAIN! Apart from needing to drive it into our skulls, however, this time the narration serves another purpose. Probst needs to prime these contestants to give out sound bytes and behaviors that fit with their definitions of the “Collars”, and let me tell you, it works like a charm. Most people just start talking about what makes their tribe great, which is fair enough, but then come the behaviors. I’ll get into the specifics later, but basically, those on Masaya (While Collar) start behaving like cocky jerkasses, those on Nagarote (No Collar) start behaving like wishy-washy idiots, and those on Escameca (Blue Collar) just keep their heads down and make no waves. Well, all except for Dan, who I’m dubbing “Sound Byte Dan”. I love the guy, but I swear, everything out of his mouth seems like he’s trying to have a quotable moment, but ultimately it just seems fake. I really hope the guy turns it around, because I want to like him, but he ultimately comes off as one of the more unpleasant people this episode.
Once the appropriate amount of sound bytes are reached, Probst then gives us our first “Twist” of the season, in that each tribe must pick a representative. Again, sounds absolutely NOTHING like that twist at the start of “Survivor Cagayan”! This is where we really get the behavior that I was talking about. All the tribes confer amongst themselves, though Masaya and Escameca are both a bit more organized than Nagarote, which gives us our behavior moments. Masaya picks Joaquin by mutual consent (though I suspect Joaquin really forced that decision on the tribe) while Escameca quickly picks Dan as their representative. Nagarote, however, takes their sweet time picking, leading Max to quip that one of them should go over to organize them, which leads Nagarote to talk back about how they do things their way. No problem with Nagarote, but Max, while he will prove himself later in the episode, does not come off well here. While they are, for the moment, the enemy, unduly provoking the other tribe, or even just seeming cocky, is not a good way to start the game. It’s not a game-ruiner, particularly as Max does well later on, but it’s a bit disturbing for the guy I liked out of the gate. True to form, Nagarote chooses Will as their representative, on his promise of “Sandwiches for All!”. Probst questions this, to which Will replies simply that he will deliver. His bravado is charming, and I admit at this point that I may have underestimated Will. True, he’s not the most game-savvy person ever, but he’s more likeable than I thought initially, so perhaps the guy has some life in him yet. Still, I must fault him for not going for the obvious “Sandwiches made out of sand” joke. Come on, man, that was served up to you on a silver platter! Take it and run!
I may give this initial twist flak for closely resembling the start of “Survivor Cagayan”, but in fairness, it DOES manage to stand out somewhat. Rather than leave it at one representative apiece, Probst has each representative pick a second person to come with them as a representative, which I actually really like. There’s always the danger with these “single someone out as leader” twists that you will basically get no result, as no one, as Max says, is “Dumb enough to be the leader”. With two people, however, a lot of the problems you would encounter singling yourself out are diluted. On the flip side, it’s still not a good idea. While two people singled out is better than one person singled out, that’s still a minority, and not exactly a good way to start the game, as we’ll see. Masaya and Escameca ask for volunteers, leading Joaquin to pick So, and Dan to pick Mike. Once again, however, Nagarote is the oddball, as Will selects Jenn without a second thought, since she seems eager. Frankly, I see no problem with these strategies, and so I will say no more about them. Probst says that once at camp, the two singled out must go off and make a decision for the tribe.
So the tribes part ways, and we see that, sure enough, the cocky remarks of Masaya have earned them bad blood. Carolyn, whom we will later learn is quite astute about these things, notices this, but says they’ll fight on anyway. Love the spirit there.
Once at camp, it is oddly Nagarote who’re the most organized. Figuring that the decision is what advantage to get, they prioritize what stuff they want the most. Nina also takes this time to slip in the fact that she’s deaf, and since people seem to take it well, I’m saying it was a good time. Masaya takes the time to introduce themselves, but this is hardly the same thing, and Escameca just goes off on their own, which, we will see later, is to their detriment. The choice, as it turns out, is the same on all tribes. Framed as “Honest or Deceit”, the pair can either take a small bag of beans and a clue to the hidden immunity idol, or take a large bag of beans and no idol clue. Now, while I appreciate that this makes the opening twist more unique, and is a mildly interesting twist in and of itself, I think it’s kind of boring. These kinds of twists are better off when the choices are relatively equal in value. Here there’s no question that you need to take the big bag of beans. While I’m normally all about this being an individual game, especially with two people, this is hard to cover up. You have to assume at least one tribe will take the big bag, and so tell every other person what the twist was. Come the inevitable tribe shake-up, your lies will be uncovered. Plus, having an idol clue of your own is one thing, that’s what made the twist at the start of “Survivor Cagayan” and “Survivor Tocantins” work. To an individual, and idol clue is of great value. Split between two people, though, that clue is pretty much worthless. On top of that, it basically forces you to be in an alliance with someone you don’t know very well, and who could be a major detriment down the road. Much better to just take the big bag. So, due to too much disparity between the choices, the twist, by itself, is unique but uninteresting.
This, however, is “Survivor”, and that means that people will inevitably make stupid decisions, which can make the twist much more interesting. This is the case here. While both Nagarote and Escameca do the smart thing, Masaya does the stupid thing. Joaquin, due to his “all swagger, no brains” gameplay insists on the stupid decision without even thinking. So seems reluctant, but can’t go against the force of nature that is Joaquin. She even recognizes the pratfalls I mentioned earlier, noting that Joaquin may not be the best person to be aligned with. And yet you take the clue and small bag anyway. For shame, So. I thought you were better than this.
To her credit, though, So actually comes up with an ok lie about the choice. She frames it truthfully, but adds a “neutral” option, saying this is what they took, as either extreme would make people suspicious. Not a bad lie, as I say, but So doesn’t sell it well, and that bag is mighty small for a “neutral” option. What’s that, you say? I’m just being overly critical? Well, I would agree but for the fact that not 10 seconds after I think these things, Shirin says the EXACT SAME THINGS to confessional. Now she no longer trusts So or Joaquin, which on this small a tribe is devastating. And she’s not the only one. She and Carolyn have a meeting of the minds and agree to stick together, and Max is pulled in not long after to make a tight threesome. Not a bad plan, but I would still point out this is not a majority. Still, better than So and Joaquin’s twosome.
But oh, it seems one does not even have to lie to have suspicion cast upon you. While Nagarote welcomed Jenn and Will with open arms, and believed them about their choice, no bag of beans is big enough for Sierra on Escameca. She’s completely paranoid about it, and instills in the others that Dan and Mike must have screwed them over, presumably for an idol clue. As a side note, I think it says something about how commonplace idols have become that everybody can tell whenever there’s a secret choice that idols are involved. Hey, there’s a twist idea: have a choice that DOESN’T involve idols, and then let the paranoia commence! Back to the episode at hand, Sierra is not the only one making alliance, though. The heavily tattooed Rodney is taking time to bond with the heavily tattooed Lindsey over, what else, their tattoos. Actually, though this is a pretty good move on Rodney’s part. A friendly conversation is a good way to draw in an ally. And while Rodney might seem a bit scummy, due to the fact that he tells a sob story about getting a tattoo in commemoration of his sister’s death to his advantage, I would argue that he does have genuine feelings about her, and is simply taking his real feelings, and using them to his advantage. Not scummy, just strategic. I do, however, take issue with his “girls naturally want to be led” statement. WAY not true, man. Misogyny does not become you. Perhaps he and Russell Hantz can form a club.
Semi-Romantic relationships are not just for Escameca, though. Nagarote wastes no time in making them as well. Jenn and Vince take a walk, and Vince decides that he really likes Jenn. As such, the two form a bond/alliance, and while Jenn admits that it’s mostly strategy (“smile and nod at Vince” she says), Vince really seems smitten on this “true friendship” thing. It’s here we see that Vince, while in many ways crazy, is not crazy in the fun way of Cao Boi Bui (“Survivor Cook Islands”), but in the annoying way of Benjamin “Coach” Wade (“Survivor Tocantins”). He’s another one who wants to play a moral game based on liking and disliking how people play and who they are, rather than actual strategy. Like Coach, though, Vince seems to be a bit more strategic than he would let on. Case in point, Joe. Surprisingly, Joe is the main person causing waves on Nagarote, which one would not suspect given his demeanor. Dude tries to go with the flow and let Vince have his way, but when Vince tries to build the shelter poorly, Joe speaks up and takes charge. Vince notes that this is a threat to his position, showing that, whatever he may say, he does have strategic thinking in mind. This all comes to a head when Joe manages to start fire, making him the hero of the tribe. Once again making a good observation, Vince notes that Jenn, his supposed friend, is really friendly with Joe, his enemy. Vince, therefore, takes Jenn to talk and rehash their position, which is a good idea. What’s bad is that he frames it as friendship, which is NOT a good way to play the game. Jenn thinks it’s jealousy, and it may be to some degree, but a lot of it is just Vince communicating poorly with his alliance. Bottom line, neither Vince nor Joe come off well this episode. Surprisingly, Jenn seems to be in the best position on Nagarote. Other confessionals reveal that everyone seems to trust her, and she seems to have gone in playing the game. She may just survive this tribe yet.
Back at Escameca, we learn that having been one of the representatives is not “Sound Byte Dan’s” only problem. No, it seems he doesn’t know quite how to express himself amongst the young ‘uns. When building the shelter, Escameca can’t come up with a leader. Lindsey steps forward and makes a few comments, which “Sound Byte Dan” immediately responds to. This would be alright in and of itself. Constructive dialogue never hurt anybody. “Sound Byte Dan”, however, needs it to be attention-getting. As such, he says it very curtly and matter-of-factly, and in an angry voice that sounds overly critical. When people get on him for this, he shuts up, and then they criticize him for not speaking up. Sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation, but as he got himself into it, I really don’t have much sympathy for him. All this puts “Sound Byte Dan” on the outs, similar to the situation Steve “Chicken” Morris found himself in on “Survivor China”. Given that Chicken was the first to go, this does not bode well for “Sound Byte Dan”. Even Kelly, another older contestant, tells the confessional that the kids don’t like him. To his credit, though, unlike Chicken, “Sound Byte Dan” is savvy enough to notice this divide, and while he doesn’t take steps to do anything about it, he does get sympathy from Mike, and may possibly get help in the future.
Also, Mike eats a scorpion and gets sick. Not the most pleasant of scenes, but nice to see some actual survival attempts on “Survivor” every once in a while.
Meanwhile at Masaya, we get yet MORE evidence of how stupid it was for Joaquin and So to pick the clue instead of the big bag of beans. After more shelter building occurs (Tyler loudly complaining about it from the night before), Joaquin and So give it up as a bad job and go idol hunting. Carolyn, though, is a savvy player who goes up and up in my estimation as the episode progresses. Not only does she recognize the probability that Joaquin and So screwed over their tribe for the idol, she also recognizes the need to watch them. When they go off idol hunting, she does to, and uses her knowledge of where idols are usually hidden to quickly find it. Excellent job, Carolyn! And see there, Joaquin and So, you don’t NEED the clue to find the idol. I repeat, should’ve taken the big bag.
CHALLENGE TIME! And yes, the all caps is a VERY good thing. While I’m still partial to first immunity challenges that incorporate fire in some manner, the real thing is that I need them to be unique. And in that department, this challenge DELIVERS, though you wouldn’t expect it. At first it seems like your standard obstacle course, with the tribes running down a ramp, thorough some hay, and then doing some high steps. But then we come to the ladder, and we reach the first excellent thing about this challenge: choices. One unique element that’s rarely added to challenges is the option to choose how you accomplish tasks. Part of what made the first immunity challenge of “Survivor Palau” so good is that it gave the contestants a sense of agency in the challenge, beyond just physical and mental capabilities. Point being, choice in a challenge makes everything more interesting, due the challenge being more dynamic and unpredictable, and I LOVE IT! In this case, the first choice is this: tribes must get a ladder out of a box, but have two ways to do it. Either they can use a set of 20 keys to undo three locks, or undo a series of knots. Like I said, dilemmas work when the choices are even, and this is a great example of an even choice. Using the keys is a high-risk, high-reward choice, in that if you’re lucky you could breeze through it, or be really unlucky and fall far behind. The knots, on the other hand, require no luck, but are unlikely to give you an advantage in any way. Once the ladder is out, we get the second element I really like: using parts of the challenge in multiple ways. The ladder is taken through the rest of the challenge, and is used both as a ladder as a bridge. Maybe a simple innovation, but one that I really like. The final choice comes in the form of what puzzle to do. There are three puzzles that increase from 5 to 10 to 50 pieces, but the fewer pieces, the supposedly more complex the puzzle. Once again, a very even choice that lends variability and complexity to the challenge. I would say that the 10 piece puzzle is a bad choice, as it’s the complex “bonsai tree” type puzzle they’ve had in the past, and seems hard to solve, but as both winning teams do that puzzle, I guess I’m wrong. Oh, and another good thing about this challenge? Apart from a few individual events, the team stays together the entire time. And even on the individual events, people are allowed to switch out, giving everyone a chance to shine. Very satisfying, in the era of compartmentalized challenges.
As if the challenge itself wasn’t good enough, we get an awesome tribal immunity idol this season. Some sort of wooden voodoo priest sitting on a throne of skulls. Now, this might seem generic and boring to the layman, but this is one idol they REALLY make look authentic. Yeah, it’s not the most well-made, but that adds to the authenticity. Unlike the idol of “Survivor Borneo”, which also looked homemade, but also looked like a first grade art project, this one seems like something you’d be proud of. Oh, and to top it off, they FINALLY took my advice and have one idol divide in two, like they did on “Survivor All-Stars”, “Survivor Exile Island”, and “Survivor Cook Islands”, instead of having two idols like they do in more recent seasons. In fact, I daresay this is the best of the split idols, because both parts look good both separate and together. Well done, art department!
The cherry on this awesome sundae? The challenge goes back and forth and is very tense, making for a fun watch. The tribes start out even, but Escameca falls behind on the ladder. Masaya gets ahead by the puzzle, but blows it so badly that they lose. While I’m sad that the tribe I like the most lost, I’m happy because I didn’t see it coming. All tribes had had some strategy talk, so who goes to Tribal Council was not broadcast, and the challenge was so back and forth that I didn’t know who would win. Now THAT’S how you do a first immunity challenge of a season.
So Masaya is out, and at first this might seem like a bad thing. After all, Masaya has the most clear alliance lines, so it should be obvious who’s going, right? Well, it is to a certain extent, but the misdirection is not bad here. Half the tribe is eliminated right away because, in one of Carolyn’s few missteps, she says “We can’t afford to lose the guys because they’re strong”. Um, forgive me, but you all did well in the challenge, losing a guy is not that big a deal. Yes, the women of this season seem to keep getting underestimated. At least they have good strategy to make up for it. So starts the charge, admitting that it’s between Shirin and Carolyn. So campaigns hard for Carolyn on the grounds that she’s the oldest, and can’t perform in the challenge. I again ask what Carolyn did where she didn’t perform, and So clarifies that she means Carolyn did not stand up and volunteer for any part of the challenge. Here, though, I have to disagree with So. If someone on the tribe can do the job better than you can, it’s best NOT to volunteer to avoid conflict. To So’s credit, though, she’s become a much better liar in the three days on the island, and flat out lies to Carolyn, saying she’s not a target. She’s also influential in trying to get Max and Tyler on board. Carolyn, however, has machinations of her own. She tries to reaffirm her bond with Max and Shirin, and to get in good with Tyler, tells him of her immunity idol. Frankly, only the first part of this strategy is good. I understand needing allies, but it’s still a bit too soon to trust someone with that information. Thankfully, Tyler takes it in stride, privately considering it as he and Max decide who to vote for.
We’re off to Tribal Council and… ok, when did we stumble into “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”? Seriously, it’s like the exact same Tribal Council! Well, that’s perhaps a disservice to it. It’s like the “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” Tribal Council mixed with the “Survivor Cook Islands” ship aesthetic. While not the most unique Tribal Council, it’s still pretty cool-looking, so I guess I’ll let it fly. But only because of the extra awesome from the immunity idol!
But oh, any bad elements from the Tribal Council aesthetic are made up for in the council proceedings themselves. Things start out with the usual mildly interesting tribal posturing, but, as always, someone does something stupid. So admits to having an “alliance of four”, being herself, Joaquin, Max, and Tyler. This gets Carolyn mad, as not only does she believe herself to be in an alliance with Max and Tyler (outing Max in the process), but So let’s slip that Carolyn herself is the target. This send Carolyn down the warpath, unintentionally causing Max a lot of bad press. I really like Carolyn, she’s made a lot of big steps this episode, but she also has a lot of missteps such as this. Now one of your main allies may be a target. In any case, though, the conflict and how it’s mediated is a joy to watch, the fun, strategic sort of chaos. I especially like Probst’s simple smug look of satisfaction as he watches it all unfold. That look says it all.
As people go to vote, I have to admit that it’s most like that So is going home, based on the editing, but the misdirection has cast enough doubt that the reading is still tense. Sure enough though, So goes home. While she was the better alternative this episode from both an entertainment and strategic standpoint (trust is everything, and So proved herself untrustworthy), I feel sorry for her. She had potential as a character and strategist, plus I feel bad for her history. She had her hopes dashed on being on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, only to get cast for this season, only to be the first one off. That’s gotta hurt.
Still, it made for a very strong start to the season. I don’t say “fantastic” because, as I say, the “Collars”twist is overemphasized and the opening was cliché. That said, however, this was a pretty strong opening. We got plenty of both character and strategy moments, and no one tribe seemed to be boring. Everyone pulled their weight, there was no point in the episode that felt lacking. That, if anything, is the sign of a good season. We may not have gotten anything innovative, but what we did get was very strong overall, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.
Of course, I enjoy the hell out of tradition as well, meaning it’s time for another:
TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!
Amazingly, I have not used one of these to talk about tribal immunity idols yet, and since this one is so awesome, it seem the appropriate subject matter. No caveats or stipulations on this list, let’s just jump right in with:
TOP 5
5. “Survivor Thailand”: The Thailand season had many faults, but aesthetic was certainly not one of them. Moving away from more traditional idols, this was a distinct, authentic looking statue that could easily be seen as a religious, immunity-granting symbol with a recognizable silhouette. Why is it so low on the list? For all its good points, it also had literal bad points. This one is arguably the pointiest of immunity idols, and I can’t help but wonder if people on this season hurt themselves handling it. That costs it a few slots.
4. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: The reason I like this one is a bit harder to pin down. It’s basically a generic wood carving that doesn’t particularly fit the theme of “Heroes vs. Villains”. However, this was the era of “plastic ‘Survivor’”, when a lot of the stuff made for the show was really fake looking. This idol, however, really pulled off the “weathered” effect that it was going for, and even seemed to deteriorate as time went by. Maybe a small detail, but a cool one, and worth a spot on this list, however low.
3. “Survivor Worlds Apart”: Like I said, probably the best of the multipart idols. No buttocks idol like on “Survivor Cook Islands” and no duplicate idol like on “Survivor Philippines”. It looks cool no matter how you slice it, is cleverly designed, and sometimes that’s all it takes.
2. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: While I think skulls are overused these days on “Survivor”, I will admit I have more time for them in immunity idols. Something about the ominous factor adds to the idol. In any case, the idol of Pearl Islands pulls this off really well, being simple yet somehow ominous, and tying in really well to the “piracy” theme of the season. Still, it pales in comparison to…
1. “Survivor Samoa”: Yes, much though I hate to admit it, Samoa did do one thing right in its tribal immunity idol. Similar in a lot of ways to the one from “Survivor Pearl Islands”, this one was a pointy oar with random bones jutting out ominously. What puts it above “Survivor Pearls Islands”, if they’re that similar? Well, first off, the one from “Survivor Pearl Islands” was attached to an axe, and while ominous, it’s also very plain. The oar on Samoa had a lot of carvings on it to add to the local and ominous feel. The other is that the ominousness of the one from Samoa was increased by the fact that while it had bones on it, there were no eyes to look into. This creepy factor just barely vaults it to the number 1 slot.
Honorable Mention: “Survivor Palau”: This one should really be on the “Bottom 5” section, as it looks cheaply made and does not fit the “World War II” theme of the season. However, it looked like contestant Willard Smith from that season, and that coincidence tickles me, so I put it on the Top 5 section.

BOTTOM 5
5. “Survivor Gabon”: Nothing too wrong with this idol overall, and that’s why it’s in the low end of this list. Just an African-looking statue that, while not distinctive, is not particularly bad. Truthfully, this wouldn’t be on the list at all except for the fact that I get the sneaking suspicion that this was actually a fertility statue. That feels a bit wrong to me for this game, and so, on the Bottom 5 list it goes.
4. “Survivor Marquesas”: Another one in a similar spot of the one from “Survivor Gabon” in that it’s a small, generic but authentic-looking statue that fits the theme of the season. However, I more clearly know why I dislike this one, hence its being higher on the list. Basically, it was once pointed out to me that this particular immunity idol resembles Gollum from “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy, and now I can’t unsee it. This makes the idol look a bit ridiculous, and hence, I like it less.
3. “Survivor Borneo”: Like I said, it looks like it was made by a first grade art class. I know the season was trying to go for an “authentic” look, but this was just too ridiculous. A bridge too far, nothing more.
2. “Survivor The Amazon”: Apart from being the only immunity idol to cause controversy, due to Joanna Ward hating it and proclaiming it a “false idol”, this one has the distinction of being the only “fuzzy” immunity idol. Idols should be ominous. Domineering. Distinctive. They should not look like a teddy bear. This one does. Fail.
1. “Survivor Philippines”: Back when this season aired, I said I did not like the twin idols, as they seemed to dilute the impact of the individual idol. I stand behind that. However, I also said I did not like these idols even individually, but could not articulate why. Now I think I can. Most idols have an aesthetic to their design. Whatever it may be, it is usually one aesthetic, and does not try to bled two or more aesthetics. This one does, and they clash. It tries to be angular around the joints, but is also rounded on several points. It all comes together badly, making for the worst tribal immunity idol. Plus, the dangling fish was unnecessary, and it was the mascot of one particular tribe, thereby inadvertently pandering to that tribe.
Honorable Mention: “Survivor Vanuatu”: Another tall, ominous bone idol. I actually really like this one aesthetically, but it holds the unfortunate distinction of being the only tribal immunity idol to ever break. The idol should be something untouchable. It should not break. Therefore, onto the “Bottom 5” list. Still, it looked cool enough to avoid the list proper.

Well, there you have it. A great start to the season, hopefully the rest can live up to the standard! I will leave you with this thought for the future: based on the criterion used to divide up the tribes, there’s an obvious pattern of who wins the game overall. While wins are fairly evenly divided between “Blue Collar” and “No Collar” people (10 and 13 respectively), only 5 out of 28 winners could be considered “White Collar”. Whether this pattern will hold remains to be seen.
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.