Idol Speculation: “Survivor 46” Episode 5: Rekindled Drive

Like most “Survivor” fans, I have at some point got it into my head that “Hey, I know so much about the game, why don’t I do this show?”  Like a smaller subset of those fans, I applied.  Several times.  Never got on, and eventually that drive dwindled, for a variety of factors I won’t get into here.  Suffice to say, I haven’t applied since pre-COVID, and have had no strong desire to try again.  Until tonight.  If they’re going to do a challenge LITERALLY tailor-made for me, a challenge I could definitely beat Hunter at, then maybe I should apply again.  

Eh, probably not, since they’ll probably never use this one again now they’ve done it once.  Still, would have been fun to try on my own.  

Less fun is another practice revived this episode, specifically the “Previously On…” segment spoiling what’s to come in the episode.  So far this season, these segments have stuck to recapping the events of the previous episode.  You know, the thing one would expect them to do?  This one?  Feels the need to go all the way back to episode 1, and remind us that Maria and Tevin both have extra votes.  They also go slightly less further back to remind us that Ben has no vote.  This ensures that these things will have relevance in this episode, all but guaranteeing that Yanu doesn’t lose today.  Way to spoil things, episode!

Admittedly, you could spoil them for Yanu themselves, a bit, just to get them off this whining train.  Look, I get that their situation sucks, but man does it feel like they go overboard with the self-pity this episode.  Kenzie refers to them as “The tiniest tribe that ever was.”  Ulong shouts “Am I joke to you?” From far away at this.  Look, I get that things kind of suck for Yanu right now.  A little moping is to be expected.  But man, Yanu’s being too hyperbolic about this for my taste.  You’re not going down in the annals of history as one of the all-time great tribes, but you’re hardly a disaster on par with some of the other tribes in the show’s history.  Get over yourselves.  

Ok, is the weather just WAY worse than we’re being shown?  Now SIGA is getting in on the complaining, and they’ve been doing well!  And have a tarp!  The only thing I can figure at this point is that there’s something about the weather this season that’s just driving everyone to misery.  Though since this is Ben complaining, there’s a silver lining to be found, and that is his bond with Charlie.  Or “Sir Ben” and “Sir Charlie” as they refer to themselves, since evidently Kane from “Survivor 44” is back on the island somehow.  Still, they’re buds, and we see their music naming competition is a regular thing, not just a one-off

Unfortunately for them, this bond and chipperness does not go unnoticed by others.  Specifically the women, who are debating who to target between him and Tim.  They admit Tim is better to get rid of in the short term, but state that Ben is more of a threat in the long-term, due to his humor landing well, and potentially earning him allies.  Can’t argue with that logic.  There’s also that the women (sans Jem, obviously) are convinced that Tim has the idol, so Ben becomes the safer bet.  I COULD argue with this logic, but their targeting is still correct, so despite the somewhat presumptive reasoning, I can’t disagree with the results.  

Over at Nami, the order of the day is idol hunting, and man, the editors are really not putting in any effort here any more, are they?  We get the usual schtick of someone, in this case Hunter, narrating how they must have just missed the idol, and there’ll be a zoom-in and flash on it, which they naturally do, and… It just feels lazy.  I don’t know, maybe this joke has been overdone at this point, but it just doesn’t have the joy it used to at this point.  

Thankfully Venus is there to provide us something different.  Having evidently given up on finding the idol herself, she instead guards Hunter extremely blatantly.  Given that she wants to target him, it makes sense she wouldn’t want him getting something that powerful.  Honestly, I’m not going to criticize this move.  True, she has all the subtlety of a foghorn in doing so, but she’s on the outs, and is unlikely to find the idol when basically everyone else on the tribe, except Liz, is out looking for it.  As such, better to make sure your target doesn’t get a safety net.  It could be done with more finesse, especially as it pisses off Hunter something fierce, but at this point, he’s against her anyway, so why not?  

What I WILL criticize Venus for is backing off this strategy.  If you’re going to do that, go all-out!  Make it so Hunter has NO alone time to idol-hunt.  But no, she does, and of course, Hunter finds it.  He’s a bit bummed reading the rules, since Nami is, you know, unlikely to lose anytime soon.  Granted, Hunter is the reason Nami wins so much, so he could probably just throw if he really wanted to, but that would A) raise suspicion and B) be pointless, since we know the idol has new rules some the merge.  Might as well wait it out.  

Enough of the interesting stuff!  Let’s go back to Yanu for, you guessed it, MORE WHINING!  Each person mopes in their own special way, though Kenzie is the one with her head still the most in the game.  She is the one looking at the angles, trying to figure how how to turn Q seeming to be on the verge of quitting to her advantage.  Credit the show this: They’re giving us a villain again, and not backing down on it either.  

Just as I’m about to read Q the riot act for talking about quitting, aka the very thing he went on the warpath against Jelinsky for, Q reveals that it was actually an act on his part.  Resigned to going to Tribal Council again, he wants to make sure Kenzie doesn’t do the Shot in the Dark, so makes it seem like he’s given up.  When he and Tiffany talk, however, he points out to her that Kenzie always asks “What were you talking about?”  I actually want to give major props to this bit of persuasion.  The best persuasion is a subtle one, where you let the person come to the conclusion naturally.  That’s just what Q does here.  He casts no aspersions on Kenzie, merely makes an observation that he knows Tiffany will interpret in a way that benefits himself.  Sure enough, Tiffany notes that Kenzie always has her head in the game, and we get a pretty funny montage of Kenzie asking that every question multiple times.  This may not be as persuasive as Q wanted however, since Tiffany never says she’ll definitively go one way or the other.  Instead, she claims to be equally close with both Q and Kenzie, and doesn’t want either of them to go.  Bad news, Tiffany: With how much Q is against Kenzie at this point, even if you avoid Tribal Council tonight, you’re gonna have to make that choice eventually.  

Back over at Siga, we see JUST how good Jem’s plan to send people off for the Beware Advantage she has has been going!   While she got lucky that people were convinced Tim had it at the start, now there has been some question.  From Tim specifically, who now feels convinced that Jem has the idol.  Way to inadvertently throw suspicion on yourself!  Tim confronts her about the women’s alliance, which she denies, and congratulates herself for lying so well.  Seems a bit much, to me.  Don’t get me wrong, she does a decent enough job at it, and I get her point that she hid her tell of giggling, but it’s not like this was some master stroke.  You gave a basic denial, not some cunning 4-D chess move.  And again, there is now suspicion on you in relation to the idol where there was none before, especially now the tribe has given up looking for it.  

All is not serious at Siga, however.  Maria gives everyone salsa lessons!  Admittedly Charlie does try and tie them back into the game, but really, it’s just a fun little glimpse at tribe life.  Part of the reason I enjoy the 90-minute episodes; I get the feeling this scene would have been cut if it were only an hour-long episode.  

Our challenge today is literally a carbon-copy of one from last season, presumably so they can re-use the multi-level obstacle course.  Lazy and uninteresting, at this point.  At least every tribe has had a bit of a target thrown around; Nami less so than the others, but when you’ve got Hunter on your team, that’s understandable.  Then you remember what the “Previously On…” segment was like, and you realize you’re set up for a Siga loss.  Happy that we won’t have to see more of Yanu whining again, but bummed that it’s that predictable.  

Oh, and there’s zero surprise from the other tribes that Bhanu went home.  In case that was a question.  

The show does everything in its power to convince us Yanu may yet lose.  Probst highlights the new-era records they set, having never won immunity and going without flint the longest.  I maintain they should have got flint for winning the reward challenge, but hey, what do I know?  Probst also suggests Yanu use this as inspiration.  Hey Probst?  You know what might really inspire Yanu?  LETTING THEM HAVE SOME FREAKING SUPPLIES!  Honestly, if a season highlights why the show needs to drop the deprevation angle, at least to some degree, it’s this.  I get that you don’t want seasons to seem too easy, but when the initially-losing tribe just gets steamrolled, the game gets a lot less fun.  

Back to the challenge, however.  It helps that Yanu falls decently behind early on.  The slingshot at the end is the great equalizer, however, especially since everyone has to make a shot, meaning Hunter can’t carry everyone in this challenge.  Nami still wins, earning immunity and many fruits and pastries, but Siga sucking at this portion allows Yanu to catch up.  It comes down the last target, Ben comparing it to the “tightest playoffs” (evidently that rocks), with Yanu taking the win.  And they MILK that sucker.  The slow-mo.  The dramatic music.  Even though we know it’s coming, it’s emotionally satisfying.  The testimonials from Yanu help as well.  

But, of course, we’re only a third of the way through the episode; there must be a twist!  Yes, it’s another journey, and as the winners, Nami gets to decide who goes from each tribe.  Magnanimously, they let the other tribes pick who gets sent along with Hunter, leading to Q going for Yanu, and Tim for Siga.  Honestly, Hunter is the one I’m most surprised by.  I would have thought he wouldn’t want to go, given the target on his back already, but I suppose he’s well liked that no one on the tribe would object.  Well, Venus would, but she has now power at this point already.  

Interesting thing to note is that both Q and Hunter said in pre-season interviews that they had sussed each other out as fellow residents of Mississippi, the first on the show since Darrah of “Survivor Pearl Islands”.  As such, they had mentioned wanting to work together.  That being the case, I could see that being a factor in those two in particular volunteering to go.  Happy coincidence, or planned strategy?  You make the call!

Speculation aside, what is clear is that the relative “big gun” in terms of challenges from each tribe has now gotten together.  With the merge looming (again, thanks predictable season schedule!  Please note the sarcasm!), each realizes they’re going to be targeted, and vowed to stick together.  Simple strategy, and one I’m not sure they’re all sincere about, but I can’t fault the logic of it.  Q even does a good job turning it to his advantage. Rather than try to downplay his relationship with Tiffany, doubtless realizing that this is a lost cause, he owns up to it under the guise of “each gets one person they’re tight with to bring along”, thus getting Tim to admit he’s tightest with Maria, and Hunter with Tevin.  Decent information gained at very little cost.  Well-played, Q.  

As to our journey test itself?  Well, after two misfires, the show finally hits the sweet spot!  Rather than forcing anyone to do anything, the threesome have to come to a consensus for one person to do a challenge related to “Survivor” History.  Tim admits that he’s a superfan, but also doesn’t want to risk his vote, this by now being the known penalty for losing.  As such, he backs off, and Q for some reason doesn’t put up a fight, leaving Hunter to be the one to test his knowledge.  

Luckily for Hunter, the producers threw him an easy one.  He gets 20 logos of previous seasons, and has to put them in chronological order.  A fairly strict time limit, but still, for someone of his fan status, this should be no problem… Wait, why is he putting Guatemala before Pearl Islands?  Any fool could tell you that’s wrong!  Hunter, NO!

Yes, it seems we’ve found the one challenge Hunter sucks at: Basic “Survivor” trivia.  Look, one the one hand, I don’t want to seem to harsh.  While I find this easy, even a decent fan might not have season order fully memorized.  That said, you’d expect the guy who loves the show so much he literally BUILT CHALLENGES FROM SCRATCH to have maybe looked up the order of seasons a couple of times in the past!  Plus, it’s funny for Hunter, who has been so good at challenge, to fail so spectacularly in this one.  Even Debbie of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” gets in on the action, berating Hunter with her “And I’m pissed!” speech from “Survivor Game Changers”.  I’d have more sympathy for Hunter if there was some added layer of difficulty.  Maybe if it was pictures of immunity idols he had to put in order, or merge tribe names.  Those add in needing to know what season they’re from, in addition to the order of seasons, making them difficult even for all but the most die-hard superfans.  But this was the LOGOS!  With the exception of Borneo (which Hunter did get right), they all have their names printed on them!  All you have to do is READ and REMEMBER!  You’re less than two weeks in!  It can’t be that hard!

After Hunter’s fan-cried takes some serious hits, we cut to the celebration at Yanu, with Tiffany and Kenzie feasting.  Tiffany also celebrates not needing to cut one of her allies yet.  Soon, though, Tiffany.  Soon.  Still, the pair are kind enough to save Q his portion of the food, and we even get a humorous bit where Q does a ventriloquist routine with the idol.  Funny stuff, and again, could easily have been cut in a shorter episode.  I continue to like this runtime.  

Still, time for strategizing at Siga, and after a suitable eulogy from Ben, Jem insists on a private idol hunt.  The tribe is surprisingly cool about this, giving her time to dig up her clue to the key.  Unfortunately for Jem, she has to do a bit more than Tiffany did on Yanu.  She must measure the permitter of Tree Mail, her tribe boat, and the length of the tribe sign, using lengths of machete as the unit of measurement, then plug these units into a formula to tell her how many lengths of machete from the tree she initially found the Beware Advantage in her key is buried.  Jem agonizes about doing this without getting spotted, but ultimately doesn’t seem to have any trouble.  Really, the point where I was most worried for her was in finding the key itself, since she seemed to eyeball where to put the machete to count out the lengths, rather than flipping it end over end like I’d have done.  Still, it works, and Jem has an idol.  Again, can’t argue with results.  

Now, let the targeting commence!  As hinted earlier, Ben is the preferred target for the women.  Still, to prevent potential idol/shot in the dark usage (remember that no one knows Ben doesn’t have a vote at this point), they agree to split votes between Ben and Tim, with Maria potentially using her extra vote to make this math properly.  Charlie is a little bummed about this, but doesn’t think there’s much he can do, other than potentially persuade Maria.  That said, Jem continues to overplay her hand, grilling Ben about what his plans are that night, ultimately leading to her being firmed up as the target.  With Ben coming clean (as he probably needs to at this point) about not having a vote to Tim, Charlie, and Maria, we now come to the latter two as our swing votes.  

As to who they should go for?  While I understand Maria’s pull towards the women, since she doesn’t have the close bond with Ben that Charlie does, I think the smart move here is to get out Jem.  Ben is definitely a social threat, but he’s a loyal one that’s less likely to move against the tribe, and therefore you.  If Jem’s overplaying, and shenanigans with the Beware Advantage, tell us anything, it’s that she’s in it primarily for herself.  Hardly unusual in this game, but still, not something to keep around if you don’t have to.  Yes, she does have an idol, but again, if she didn’t tell you about it, she’s likely only going to use it for herself.  No reason to keep that around.  

The downside to Siga being the “Vibe Tribe” as they style themselves, is that Tribal Council is very much a nothingburger of a climax.  There’s no sound bytes or interesting conversation whatsoever.  Everyone’s just too happy with one another.  Best I can say is that there is a bit of mystery as to who goes home.  I do think her increased screen time favors Jem, but there’s still at least a decent chance that it’s Ben.  There’s also some fun moments in the voting booth, from Ben being oddly happy about not voting to Moriah talking about she’s “scared and nerding out simultaneously.” The latter is very relatable.

But no, the editing was not a fake-out at this point.  Jem goes home, idol in her pocket, though to her credit she laughs at the whole thing.  Legitimately classy.  While this was the smart move, I can’t deny that it’s not what I wanted to happen.  Jem may have played a messy game, but it was fun to watch.  Nothing against Ben personally; he seems like a nice guy.  Maybe it’s because I’m not a big music person, but I ultimately don’t enjoy his schtick, whereas Jem I found at least somewhat entertaining.  Hard to be too mad at competent gameplay, however.  Really, the most questionable move of the night for me is Maria using her extra vote.  She KNEW Ben had no vote.  There was no need to pile the extra vote on Jem.  My best guess is that she feared she’d be targeted for having the vote come the merge, and so wanted to get rid of it.  I can see SOME logic there, but on the whole, still think she shouldn’t have done that.  

Questionable choice by Maria aside, this was a good episode!  Definitely the best since the premiere.  While it may not have had the biggest mystery, and shot itself in the foot in terms of foreshadowing, it had enough questions to keep me invested throughout.  And, above all, it was FUN.  Outside of Yanu whining, we bonded well with the players, and mixed in strategy with good personal moments.  All in all, a solid recipe for a fun episode of “Survivor”, and that’s enough for me.  

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.  

Idol Speculation: “Survivor 46” Episode 4: Back to 2000

Man, now I’m kind of bummed I wasted all my “Dr Who” jokes on “Survivor 41”, because if this episode wasn’t ever a throwback to the old days.  Obvious boots with no real misdirection!  People being clueless about how to play the game!  Freaking TREE MAIL!  Getting read out loud!  Twice!  Since when do any of those things happen anymore?

We pick up… Literally right where we left off last episode.  Yanu still celebrating their good fortune within Randen’s misfortune.  Kenzie is happy that Yanu finally has a “win” such as it is, and Q talks about how this might be a turning point for Yanu.  Um, Q?  Have you seen your tribe?  Skipping one Tribal does not a turnaround make.  

Even the person who benefits the most from this, Bhanu, is kind of screwed over by it.  There was no harm in him spilling the tribe dynamics when he thought he’d be going home, and had nothing to lose.  Now that he’s been spared and has to work with these people?  Kind of a bad look.  And once again, it’s a look Bhanu can’t keep to himself, though this time I’m a bit more sympathetic to it.  Even if it doesn’t paint him in the best light, if he wants a chance of working with these people, it’s something they need to know.  Unfortunately for Bhanu, he also brings up that in addition to the “Kenzie’s the mastermind” thing, which Q and Tiffany could probably take in stride, he ALSO brings up that he mentioned the two of them were close.  This, rightly, makes them feel like they’ll be targeted come a swap or merge, and so we close on a montage of everyone assuring us that, should they lose again, Bhanu goes home.  

After our awesome intro, we cut to Bhanu praying yet again, since he doesn’t have much recourse.  His prayers are answered with the aforementioned tree mail, which we see both Yanu and Nami read out.  The latter, as is their want, turns it into a jam session.  Much like with the “Shanthem” on “Survivor 41”, the editors do not miss a beat, both figuratively and literally, providing Nami a backing track to go with their singing.  This pleases most everyone… Save Hunter, who puts his head in his hands at more singing, presumably questioning his life choices.  

Siga doesn’t read their tree mail, but we do see them do another “group idol hunt”.  One with more success this time, as Maria finds a clue to a Beware Advantage.  “But how?” You may ask, since we saw Jem find it last episode (even though she ACTUALLY found it a few days prior to last episode).  Well, Jem has done the old “Re-hide the clue to send everyone on a wild goose chase.” Thing.  Normally a strategy I can get behind, but not sure how well it’s going to work here.  The flaw is that it specifically tells you to dig where you found the Beware Advantage.  Between the area just not being good for digging, and the presumed finding of nothing, eventually people are going to figure out it’s a plant.  This isn’t “Holes” where people are just gonna keep digging in the hopes of finding it.  This will, of course, lead to paranoia.  Paranoia that can easily fall back on you, Jem.  Better hope it doesn’t, or this was a terrible, pointless move.  

As to our challenge?  Standard obstacle course, you know the drill by now.  Only two real obstacles worth noting: Untying a key from a floating platform, and throwing hoops up over a pole with a bar on top, to be later thrown onto a similar pole.  

The latter I mention because of recent familiarity, it being the “Carolyn Wiger Memorial Challenge” from the premiere of “Survivor 44”.  But the former?  Well, I didn’t think it was possible to flip those platforms upside-down, but Tim from Siga somehow found a way.  Power to you for finding a new way to break the challenge, I guess.  

What are they playing for?  Fish in varying quantities, which Q insists they’ll need to trade for something else.  Not sure why, exactly.  Even if they don’t get flint for winning the challenge (which they SHOULD.  There’s no reason for it to be tied specifically to immunity; the challenges themselves have no difference.  A win is a win.), food is probably more important than any other reward so far, and it’s not like the fish will be inedible.  Sashimi is a thing.  

But yeah, I’m sure hearing that from Yanu has no bearing on… Yeah, Yanu wins.  They don’t even try to hide it.  Yanu was doing well in general, but I think the reason they beat Nami is that the “throwing the hoops off the pole” part specifically had to be done by everyone playing, so Hunter couldn’t just win the whole thing for them.  Nami still comes in second over Siga, though.  Tim’s error with the platform didn’t help, but the big contributor seems to have been Maria failing hard at the first hoop-throwing segment.  Honestly, don’t blame her.  It’s a tough thing to do, and she DID succeed, eventually.  Just too little, too late, in the end.  Yanu, as predicted, trades their fish for the tarp and tool kit.  I can kind of see it, especially after the reported (but not shown) torrential downpours this season, but I still think they should have earned flint for this, and kept the fish.  

We actually save Yanu celebrating their win in favor of Nami celebrating.  Liz talks about her happiness at being able to eat something she’s NOT allergic to, but that’s not the main focus here.  Tevin insists on being the one to scale and gut the fish.  Rather than being some macho wilderness thing, this is actually a tribute to Tevin’s dad, who taught him how to do this.  The pair were supposed to do it some more; have some fishing trips together.  Sadly, Tevin ended up focussing on his career, to the point where his dad passed away before they got that chance.  

Hey, who put on “Cats in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin?  I do NOT need that right now!  This scene is sad enough as it is!

In all honesty, this is one of the best backstory segments we’ve ever gotten on the show.  It tied in perfectly with the situation, and isn’t a contrived sad moment.  Brings us closer to Tevin, which is what it’s supposed to do.  Bravo, show, and Tevin, if by some weird coincidence you are reading this, I’m sorry for your loss.  

We can’t really top the emotion of Tevin’s moment, but Yanu gives it their best shot.  Naturally, they’re exuberant about their win, and hope it will lead to more.  Hope that is quickly dashed when Bhanu compounds his “Not cut out for this show” credentials by mixing up right and left when putting on the tarp.  While still against him for the whole “inadvertent targeting” thing, Q hopes to bring this team of four to the merge, and wants them to be their best.  To this end, he coaches Bhanu on how to talk to others/answer Probst’s questions as Tribal.  Basically give generic “I’m close with everyone.” answers.  Not terrible advice, and Bhanu certainly needs the role-playing practice Q provides, but MAN does Q seem condescending towards the guy when doing it.  Like, the man’s not cut out for the show.  Fine.  That’s not a failing of character.  No need to put him down for it.  

At least Q is putting in the effort, however.  When Bhanu politely suggests to Kenzie that she practice with him as well, Kenzie gives him the brush-off, understandably upsetting Bhanu.  Look, I’m not gonna say the man’s the easiest to live with.  Nor is he the best player.  But you need to put up at least the PRETENSE of politeness with him.  Apart from it just being the decent thing to do, you’ll need any number you can get come the merge at this point.  Even one as unreliable as Bhanu.  

Bhanu’s not the only one having a moment, however.  Maria is upset at her perceived costing of the tribe the challenge (again, probably a factor, but I feel like Tim flipping the platform was at least somewhat of a factor as well).  Ben notes this, and tries to cheer her up.  This prompts Maria to talk about how hard it is for her to give up.  She explains that her parents, after getting out of Lebanon to come to the US, instilled a work ethic in their kids to keep fighting.  Honestly, a decent enough backstory.  Not the most logical progression I’ve seen, but not the worst.  I think this one falls flat less for being bad on its own, more for Tevin’s being an EXTREMELY tough act to follow.  

Still Ben does point out that Maria found a Beware Advantage, which seems to cheer her up.  Unfortunately for her, as we the audience know, she’s found basically jack squat.  And now, after a decent amount of time digging, the tribe is beginning to suspect something’s up.  Charlie in particular notes that “Jeff will never lie to you.” In relation to the note.  Um, Charlie?  I know it was a while ago, but Danny from “Survivor 41” might disagree with that statement.  

Even if the logic is flawed, the conclusion is correct, and speculation abounds as to who may have the actual idol.  Luckily for Jem, suspicion falls on Tim rather than herself.  Makes the move slightly better, but still too risky, in my opinion.  

Back at Yanu, Kenzie makes a half-hearted attempt to cheer up Bhanu, admitting that tribe cohesion is needed.  She admits in confessional, though, that she hates needing to be emotional support for a man “about 15 years older” than her.  Um, what’s with the “about”?  Did these people not exchange ages yet?  Feel like that would have come up at some point.  In any case, while she’s insincere in confessional, she’s sincere enough to Bhanu to cheer him up, and harmony is momentarily restored.  Though it should be noted that Bhanu bemoans no longer having power in the game, leading me to question when he thought he had power in the game in the first place.  

Quickly becoming less harmonious is Nami.  Soda admits that while it’s nice to keep winning, you get the itch to strategize.  As such, she goes around in a montage to everyone on the tribe, checking in and just reaffirming bonds.  Unfortunately for her, she’s not the most subtle about this, and catches the eye of Tevin.  Naturally, Tevin is a bit suspicious about all this, and so discussed the possibility of voting out Soda with Hunter.  Hunter admits that he’s preferred Soda as a target for a while, and is happy Tevin came to the same conclusion on his own.  After talking with Liz, who’s ok with Soda going as well, they make a majority and the plan seems set.  

As to how I feel about this plan?  It’s pretty much the same as I felt about Sabiyah targeting Kaleb in episode 3 of “Survivor 45”: I see the logic, and I agree that the target needs to go sooner rather than later.  But this is too soon.  The issue for me is how thoroughly Nami has alienated Venus from themselves.  There is practically no chance she sticks with them come the merge.  Soda might be a threat, but at least for now she’s a LOYAL threat.  Take her out now, then if you lose again, you’re fine to eliminate Soda.  

Speaking of eliminations, tree mail for the immunity challenge arrives.  It mentions jumping being necessary, which is a problem for Siga.  They sat out Moriah in the last challenge, meaning she needs to be in this one.  The problem?  Well, turns out she can’t jump, something Ben tells us is kind of unusual.  Um, Ben, you’re not doing your branding right.  I think you mean “That does NOT rock.”  Still, Charlie does his best to coach Moriah before the challenge.  

Luckily for Moriah, she won’t be called to do as much jumping as she thought.  This is basically “Octopus’ Garden” first seen on “Survivor Cagayan”.  The challenge the brawn tribe of that season tried to throw, and failed.  Decent enough challenge, but again, give me something new.  Distance or height jumping will not much be required from Moriah.  

I’ll give this challenge this: I don’t know who’s losing.  Granted, Siga hasn’t had much in the way of “targets” yet, so their loss is less likely, but anything is at least plausible tonight, lending a tension to this episode we’ve not really had since the premiere.  

Sure enough, Siga has the early lead.  Nami is in second, but Yanu isn’t far behind.  That is until Hunter gets to shooting the baskets, whereupon Nami immediately takes first place.  Is anyone surprised at this point?  Honestly, if there’s a mark against Hunter winning at this point, it’s how much of a challenge threat he’ll be come the merge.  

Not that Yanu is completely out of it.  Tim takes a major spill by trying to jump onto the platform he has to shoot from, to the point where I’m thinking we may get another evacuation at this point.  Tim also has some trouble sinking the baskets, and Q’s shooting does tie it up 2-2.  In the end, however, Yanu’s deprivation is their undoing, and Siga wins.  Again.  So we get group we’ve seen the most of going to tribal.  Again.  How exciting.  

Even the episode can’t pretend there’s mystery at this point.  As soon as Bhanu goes over, everyone else talks openly about how it has to be Bhanu at this point.  To his credit, Bhanu at least has the sense to check up on them, and overhears this.  He’s naturally devastated, and sets about looking for an idol.  Given his limited options and knowledge, I can’t really blame him, though no one left thinks there’s an idol.  Tiffany has one, and they doubt a second will get added.  Bhanu, despite not knowing this, eventually reaches the same conclusion.  He’s really out of options at this point.  No idol, and no vote means he can’t use his shot in the dark.  He thus resorts to begging, pretty much the only option he has left. All he has to lose is his dignity.  

However, in a rarity for the show, they don’t even pretend he has a chance.  No one gives him the time of day, and he tells us he’s just going to use Tribal Council to make sure he tells his story.  Yes, the show is going for emotion over strategy, and I’ve got to admit, it works.  Bhanu’s tale is not anything we haven’t heard from him before, but he tells it well, and with a good score behind it, it’s touching nonetheless.  Even his tribe is pretty sincere in their compliments toward him, admitting that while he’s terrible at the game, they still like him as a person.  And without any eye-rolls for once!

About the only misstep is that it’s SUCH a foregone conclusion that we don’t get a vote.  Bhanu may not have been the best player, or even a good player in basically any respect, but dude at least deserves the dignity of a formal vote-off.  Plus, I don’t like how this muddies the waters of whether this is a quit or not.  I say it isn’t, but I could see there being a disagreement in the fanbase.  

As to the outcome, I’m both sorry and not sorry Bhanu is gone.  For all my criticisms of his game, I did genuinely like the guy, and feel bad for him going.  Even if his “honesty isn’t a part of this game” realization should have been something he knew before going out.  At the same time, the three remaining Yanu are definitely the better players, and thus more interesting to me going forward, so in that respect, I’m ok with this.  Sorry, Bhanu.  This just isn’t your game.  

I will admit, despite lacking in mystery post-immunity challenge, this episode was ok.  Not one of the greats, but a pretty good hour and a half of tv.  The emotional notes hit just right, and sometimes that’s all you need.  And hey, if nothing else, we got to hear tree mail again.  That’s a nice touch.  

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.  

Idol Speculation: “Survivor 46” Episode 3: “Things That Don’t Rock” for $300

Catchphrases.  I don’t need to explain to you what they are.  They’ve been a staple of tv since basically tv began.  Yet overall, not that common on “Survivor”.  Fair share of memorable quotes, and a few things from Probst that could be catchphrases (“Got nothing for ya”, “The tribe has spoken.”, etc.), but overall not as much of a thing as in other shows.  As Ben demonstrates tonight, that’s probably because trying to create a catchphrase for yourself on “Survivor” sounds really freaking forced!  Granted, in Ben’s case it’s so forced it comes back around to be funny.  But you get my point, and I’m getting ahead of myself.  

Bhanu is, understandably, a bit shaken up about Tribal Council last time.  After all, Jess wrote his name down, and if her idol had been real, he would have been gone.  Luckily for him it was fake, though he is curious to know how that happened.  He gets let in on the plan, and how the idol was made, but everyone else is largely dismissive of his concerns, saying he should just be happy to be hear.  Bhanu’s unreliability and incapacity to keep secrets are reiterated, he channels the spirit of Jelinsky by quoting “Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em”, and cue intro.  

Following our awesome intro, we go back to Yanu to reiterate just how much they suck!  Why, Kenzie tells us they suck so much that they don’t even sleep in their shelter, opting for a nearby cave instead.  Hey, I guess it worked for Chuay Gahn on “Survivor Thailand”.  I mean, the shelter itself kind of sucked due to the latrine situation, but in terms of tribe success post-merge, not a bad trajectory to be following.  

Kenzie reiterates that they must be one of the most pathetic tribes in recent history.  Well, Kenzie, I’ve got good news for you!  You can’t know this at time of filming, but last season had a tribe that was even MORE pathetic than you!  You all are a hot mess, don’t get me wrong, but at least none of you quit!  Yet!  As such, you look slightly less pathetic in comparison.  Good job!… In timing your season to come after the last one!

Bhanu, still desperate to save himself, tries to talk to Kenzie about getting something going.  Kenzie, while friendly in tone, just asks him to come up with a plan, making it clear that she’s not that interested in working with Bhanu.  She says, rightly, in confessional that while he’s a nice guy, he can’t keep a secret, and so is just not cut out for the game.  A fair assessment, and one Q would not necessarily disagree with.  Still, Q sees some value in Bhanu, so their talk goes somewhat better.  Granted, this talk does involve Q comparing Bhanu to Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”) and himself to Boston Rob (too many seasons to name at this point, but most relevant here is “Survivor Redemption Island”).  Probably not a comparison one would be flattered by.  

But hey, at least it means someone wants to keep Bhanu around!  Bhanu reacts to this news… with paranoia.  He’s not sure if this is just Q pulling the wool over his eyes to avoid a Shot in the Dark.  Granted, a pretty reasonable concern, but at this point, Bhanu, can’t look the proverbial gift horse in the proverbial mouth.  

As a side note, when Bhanu talks about Kenzie, he compares her to a “Mermaid-Dragon”, meaning beautiful and charming in the front, deadly in the back.  Not sure he quite nailed the metaphor, but I do know I want Bhanu to read me “The Little Mermaid” now.  No text to follow, just him making up the story based on memory alone.  I feel like it would be awesome!

Morning at Siga brings a group idol hunt, something that basically everyone mocks.  Moriah talks about how everyone keeps one eye for an idol, and one eye out for a “bulge”… Meaning an idol in a pocket, get your minds out of the gutter!  Charlie is particularly dismissive of the idea, saying he wants the idol for himself.  Naturally, such arrogance means he must get the “dodo” edit of being right by the idol and not seeing it!  

In fairness to Charlie, this one is particularly deviously hidden.  While plainly visible in a broken stump of a tree branch, it’s only visible from the camera angle we get, which is facing the path.  Looking FROM said path, you’d basically never see it.  As such, props to Jem for both finding it, and for not cluing Charlie in, since he was right beside her!

Jam states that she hopes the Beware Advantage is “A simple process”.  Famous last words.  As you’d expect, Jem’s note is similar to the ones found by Tiffany and Randen before now.  Dig beneath where you found the Beware Advantage, what this actually is.  Jem does so, though credit her for actually WAITING to do so unlike those other two.  Sure enough, she finds a box that says she doesn’t get another clue until her tribe loses, and until then, she has no vote.  Interestingly, however, Jem adds another bit, which says that additional rules would follow if she reaches the merge having never lost immunity. 

Um, WHAT?  I’m assuming that was part of EVERYONE’s rules, so why are we just hearing about it now?  I get not doing it in Tiffany’s, since the premiere had a lot to get through, and Yanu lost anyway almost immediately after, but why not read it with Randen’s?  You’re telling me that in the thinly-stretched two hour episode we had last week, there wasn’t room for Randen to say an extra SENTENCE to clarify this?  

Look, the reason I’m mad is not because of “production lying to us” or anything like that.  Nor am I mad about the rule; it makes sense.  But what this does is imply that it wasn’t RELEVANT UNTIL Jem got the idol, implying Siga never goes to Tribal pre-merge.  Or, in the event of a swap, that Jem never goes.  Way to suck out what little tension this season has so far, show!  Should have just made it something read with all finds, so that it gave nothing away.  

Still, good for Yanu.  More incentive for someone to throw a challenge.  About the only way they’re going to win one at this point.  

Well, I tell a lie.  There IS another plausible way for Yanu to win, but that’s getting a bit ahead.  Still, we do need to go to the tribe that could plausibly lose naturally, Nami.  Not that we see it at the start.  Indeed, things are all good at Nami, with Hunter working on building a bed; Tevin in a funny aside asking him to make a Temperpedic.  Liz dubs Hunter “Survivor MacGyver”, which may just be a coincidence, but I’m choosing to believe it’s an intentional shout to to Stephen Fishbach’s turn on “Survivor Cambodia”, since that season and player are both amongst my favorites.  She’s not alone in praising Hunter, with basically the whole tribe getting in on the act.  

Yes, everyone loves Hunter!  Even Hunter loves Hunter, giving us his backstory on choosing to forego a full ride scholarship to medical school to teach in his hometown.  I’d say this one hits pretty well, but that’s mostly because they mix in a good bit of comedy with the heartfelt-ness of it.  While it’s cool that Hunter decided to take a lesser-paying job that he’s passionate about and all, it’s also funny to see JUST HOW MANY “Survivor” puzzles he has lying around his home.  And not 3-D printed ones that I could tell; dude seems to have carved these himself.  Wouldn’t be too weird, but again, the sheer quantity alone is pretty funny.  

Did I say everyone loves Hunter?  I mean MOST everyone loves Hunter.  To his credit, while the dude is the center of his tribe socially (Soda and Tevin only seem more so because their personalities are louder, and thus they make better narrators), basically no one has caught on, which speaks to his smarts.  No one, with one exception.  

Yes Venus, in a good perceptive moment, has made note of Hunter’s standing, and so goes out to actively target him.  She goes to Randen to warn him of this threat, something Randen seems clueless on.  That said, while Venus HAS definitely made an excellent observation here, she’s really bad at pitching it.  The main thing she says is “Just use your eyes, and you’ll see.”  Um, Venus?  Randen DID use his eyes, and he missed it completely!  You might need some, I don’t know, EVIDENCE to back up your claim, if people can’t see it for themselves?  

Ok, ok, I’m being a bit harsh here.  Venus DOES point out his being central to the tribe dynamics, which IS the sort of evidence she should bring up.  That said, her initial dismissive “pitch” coupled with Randen still not seeming to get it at the end of the scene, is grounds for some light internet mockery nonetheless, in my opinion.  

Enough dilly-dallying, on to why Nami might lose.  Randen has woken up having slept funny on the bamboo, and now he’s got numbness in his right arm and leg, along with some stiffness in his neck.  Medical does end up coming out to take a look, but as no medevac was advertised prior to the season, he’s naturally cleared to stay in the game.  The doctor says it’s most likely a pinched nerve that should go away on his own.  Still, Randen’s not going to be much help in challenges, but hey, if it goes away on its own, then he should be fine down the road.  All he needs is for there not to be a challenge today!

Oh look!  A challenge in the very next scene!  Who could have guessed?

After that obvious yet hilarious joke, we examine the challenge itself, which is not that great.  Tribes race from the water to shore over a series of obstacles, including over a rolling log.  Once on shore, they dig up sandbags which they must then land on a series of disks high in the air.  First two to do so win immunity and varying amounts of shelter-improving equipment.  Standard stuff by this point.  I bring up the description only because you may remember the ending segment of this challenge as the one where JD choked on “Survivor 41”.  If that doesn’t ring a bell, it’s the one where he said “Money”, and then choked.  That fun memory earns the challenge a few points, but overall, otherwise forgettable.  

Randen naturally sits out the challenge, due to his injury, and his contributions to Nami show up FAST!  Despite Yanu still not having fire, and literally having to walk from exhaustion at one point during the challenge, Nami is still in last up to the beach.  Siga has the firm lead up to that point, notably having the innovative strategy of having the rest of the tribe roll the log in the correct direction with the hands to help ease the journey of the person going over it.  Nami is also similarly innovative, even in last, with Hunter grabbing onto Tevin’s legs as he goes over, thus pulling the both of them over.  

That said, tossing sandbags onto small disks is a tricky thing to do, especially since, as Q demonstrates, vibrations can knock them off.  Understandably difficult, but hey, I can’t knock any of these people.  It’s not like any of them have practiced this before…

CRASH!

COACH: I have.  

ME: Coach!  What the hell?  You’re not even on this season!

COACH: Hey, you were talking about tossing things!  How could you do so without my years of expertise in the area of tossing things?

ME: Very easily, and without a hole in my wall?

COACH: Ah, get over it, you wimp.  Besides, you were CLEARLY leading up to a point with that line, and what else could it be, other than me?

ME: Hunter.

COACH: What?

ME: Yeah, Hunter.  When we had his flashback, amongst the items he’d crafted for challenges was a bunch of sandbags, implying he’d done this sort of thing.  It’s actually some pretty subtle foreshadowing, and I wanted to give production their due on that one.  

COACH: But he doesn’t do it better than me, right?

ME: Given that he brought his tribe back from last place to first with seemingly a minimal number of tosses, and your team didn’t even win the equivalent challenge on “Survivor Tocantins”, I’d say he’s objectively better than you.  

COACH:… If you’ll excuse me, I have a dragon to slay.  

(COACH exits, brandishing a katana from nowhere.)

Yep, Hunter pulled it back, thereby sucking most of the tension out of the challenge.  There was no puzzle, and Nami was severely weakened, so Yanu had a shot of beating them.  Siga?  Minimal tribe dynamics, and while there is a CHANCE Jem asked them to throw, we never saw her do it.  

So yeah, Yanu loses, but to their credit, it was closer than any of their previous losses.  Really, the problem seemed to be that they didn’t have an ace on the sandbag throwing.  How the other teams seemed to do it was to find one person who had the right touch, and let them get into a rhythm.  Hunter was that for Nami, and after some false starts, Charlie ended up being that for Siga.  Q and Tiffany both landed their fair share of bags, but both kept switching out, thus preventing either of them for getting into a rhythm.  Not knocking them at all; for all my jokes about Coach and Hunter, this is not something easily prepared for.  You kind of have to learn it in the moment, and Charlie just learned it faster.  

Along with first place, Nami gets to pick who goes on a journey, thus explaining why this episode had a challenge at the 30-minute mark.  They pick Liz from themselves, along with Ben from Siga and Bhanu from Yanu.  I’m a little surprised at the Liz pick, since she seems to have been somewhat on the outside of that tribe, but can’t knock the other two.  

Before checking out our journey, we check in with Yanu.  Everyone’s a bit bummed, but Q is beating himself up, even dancing around asking to be voted out.  He puts most of the blame for the challenge loss on himself, comparing it to his time as a high school athlete where he blew an important game, and had to see it in the headlines of his local paper afterward.  Kind of a flashback, but kind of not.  We get no photos, just some background music implying a large crowd over Q’s narration.  Oddly, somehow more effective.  Yeah, it’s not a tear-jerker, but Q is clearly beat up, and you can sympathize with the guy taking so much of the responsibility for the tribe on his shoulders.  

That said, strategically, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING Q!  Even if the challenge loss was all your fault (and while he was a contributing factor, it being all on him is debatable), you DON’T say that to everyone, especially when they weren’t blaming you!  It’s just bad strategy.  Ugh, maybe we WILL get some quits after all.  

Now, I’m not trying to be too hard on the guy here.  Like I said, I can understand the frustration with the situation.  That said, he does go a bit over-the-top with the anguish (“Why does my life have to be the hardest path?” is a bit much), and this will make some stuff he says very ironic later.  Even Tiffany, his own ally, kind of thinks less of him for not handling the loss well.  

About the only fortunate thing for Q in this situation is that everyone seems dead-set on voting out Bhanu at this point.  They’re especially worried that he’s spilling everything to the other tribes while on the journey.  

Cut to said journey, and yeah, their fears are 100% justified.  Bhanu breaks down, and Liz and Ben do their best to provide some comfort.  It’s a genuinely nice scene, and when Bhanu talks about being accused of being too emotional, Ben is sure to tell that “That Does Not Rock”.  And yeah, emotions have a place in the game, but Bhanu clearly can’t control them even when the situation demands it, as evidenced by the aforementioned spilling of all tribe dynamics.  

To be fair to Bhanu, however, even if he weren’t being emotional, spilling the tea right now is kind of a smart move for him.  You already think you’re going to be voted out, and with good reason, so why not take revenge on those planning to vote you out anyway?  In the unlikely event you DO survive the night, you’ll come across as more open to the remaining players, and thus they’ll want to work with you more.  Granted, you’d probably piss off those on your remaining tribe, but again, they’re against you anyway, this won’t change your fate in and of itself.  

Speaking of fate and rocks, that’s the deal with today’s journey!  Everyone draws a rock from a bag.  Blue rock means you go on to risk your vote in a challenge, white rock means you go back empty-handed.  No lost vote, thankfully, but nothing extra either.  Much as I said I didn’t like the little game in the premiere, I don’t like full randomness either.  Players need SOME agency beyond challenge ability on these journeys, and this takes it away from them.  At the very least, those who draw the blue rock should be able to walk away after seeing the challenge.  

Bhanu actually wants the white rock, not trusting his challenge ability and preferring to rely on his Shot in the Dark.  Given what we’ve seen, I can’t blame him.  Unfortunately, Bhanu’s bad luck continues, as it’s Liz who draws the white rock.  Then, he and Ben are faced with building a cube puzzle in a tight time limit, something neither of them is particularly keen on.  Ben even informs us that puzzles fall into the category of “Things That Do Not Rock”.  Keep saying that Ben; I’m sure it’ll catch on.  

Both lose the challenge, and everyone heads back to camp.  The word of the day at both Nami and Siga is Bhanu’s intel on the inner workings of Yanu, which everyone praises Liz and Ben for getting, despite the fact neither of them did much beyond just let Bhanu talk.  Ben, however, lies a little bit, saying he won’t find out if he won the game or not until Tribal Council.  Frankly, this lie seems pointless to me.  I get not wanting to give away that you’ve lost your vote, since Ben think’s it’s a 3-3 split between men and women right now.  Probably want to let your allies know that in private so they can prepare for one less vote on their side.  But this lie seems oddly suspicious.  The reason not to tell people about losing your vote, as Ben says, is because it makes you a target.  However, acting suspicious about something this simple… Also makes you a target.  Not seeing the upside to this lie over just saying you gained nothing and didn’t lose your vote, is what I’m saying.  That’s plausible.  It’s what happened to Liz, after all.  

As to Bhanu… Well, give him credit, the man learned not to say everything at once!  He gives a brief overview of everything, but doesn’t admit to losing his vote, nor how much information he gave the other tribe.  Granted, he does admit to losing his vote to Q, but that makes sense, since Q is the one guy who’s seemed to want to work with him left, and hey, might as well try everything to save yourself.  

Q, however, is not convinced Bhanu should go.  Yep, the reasonable suspicion of Kenzie is still around.  Q says that Bhanu, while a nice guy, needs someone to lead him in this game.  You know, the guy who was talking about falling on his sword for a minor setback earlier!  Yeah, that’s definitely the guy I want coaching me through this game!  Look, I get it, Q overall is a team player, and most of the time, yeah, I’d want him in my corner building me up.  But for him to say THIS about himself, in literally the same episode he was effectively talking about QUITTING?  That’s so hypocritical, it wraps back around to being kind of hilarious.  

Whatever, Q’s hypocrisy aside, he goes and pitches the idea to Tiffany, bringing up that Bhanu will be a number for them that they can control, whereas Kenzie has a mind of her own.  As Tiffany says, this is a valid point, and is much better misdirection than the “Q falls on his sword” stuff from earlier.  Why did we need that, again?  That said, Tiffany admits she’s still leaning Bhanu for his overall messy gameplay, which I’d say is the sensible choice.  Look, Kenzie is a threat, no doubt about it, but Bhanu, while he can be lead, is messy in gameplay.  He’s shown time and again he has little to no filter, and that’s just too big a liability to drag to the end, even as a goat.  Moreover, although neither of them know this, there will be an ample target on Kenzie later.  You see, when Bhanu talked about the tribe dynamics to Liz and Ben, he built up Kenzie in particular as the “mastermind”, meaning there will be PLENTY of people willing to take out Kenzie come a swap or a merge.  Not knocking them for not bringing this up; just saying in the aggregate, it’s another point in the “Vote off Bhanu” column.  

But all of that stuff?  Doesn’t matter!  With about 10 minutes left in the episode, we cut over to Nami, which can only mean one thing.  Yes, sadly, Randen’s side has not gotten better, and after consulting with a neurological specialist, it’s been decided that he needs to be pulled from the game.  An understandable decision, but I am sorry to see Randen go.  I won’t act like he was my favorite or anything, but he was either going to upend the whole tribe dynamic, or overplay and go out in a blaze of glory.  Either way, would have been fun to watch.  

And he didn’t even get to pass along his beware advantage to Venus, as it’s non-transferrable.  I get not being able to do that in-game (since that would render losing one’s vote somewhat moot), but I feel like there should be an exception if you’re pulled from the game.  After all, then you’re doing it to have one final lasting impact on the game, not to save your own skin.  Have a heart, production.  Thankfully Randen is confirmed to be ok in his final words, and hopefully he’ll get to fulfill his wish to play again someday.

After there’s commiseration at Nami, there’s cheering at Yanu.  Kind of insensitive cheering, to be honest.  Kenzie does pay lip service to Randen, but mostly they’re just happy they don’t have to go to Tribal Council.  Similar to Rupert being somewhat insensitive to Jenna’s quit on “Survivor All-Stars”, it’s not a good look, but you get where he’s coming from.  

And thus, Bhanu’s episode arc of trying everything and getting basically nowhere, only to be saved at the last minute by something out of his control, is complete.  A decent arc, but still kind of a disappointing episode.  In fairness to the show, however, there wasn’t much they could do this time.  I appreciate them not making it obvious that Randen was going until the very end, but at the same time, it made everything before seem kind of pointless.  There were good moments in this episode, but Randen needing to leave when he did just took the proverbial fire out of everything.  Comparisons will doubtless be made to Matthew’s exit on “Survivor 44”, but there it was the culmination of the pre-merge arc following his invention of the Matthew Grinstead-Mayle Injury Rock (TM).  As such, it felt a lot more satisfying, despite being the obvious outcome.  Here, it’s just kind of a thing that happened in this episode that derailed all the other drama.  Again, not that production could have done anything about that.  They worked with what they have, and to be fair, the emotional beats generally did hit home, Q’s hypocrisy aside.  Sadly, however, no matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.  

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.  

Idol Speculation: “Survivor 46” Episode 2: I Wanna Dance With Somebody…

If you’re at all familiar with the song referenced in the title, you doubtless sung the title in tune.  And that song is now stuck inside your head for the foreseeable future!  My grand master evil plan is now complete!  MWAHAHAHA!

More unpleasant than an earworm, however, is this!  Yes, it’s time for another edition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

For once, just a small thing, and in a two-hour premiere, it’s understandable.  However, as it will have bearing on something else this episode, it bears mentioning.  We joke in the community about how Probst is so overdramatic about taking the flint, and how it doesn’t really matter that much if you get fire early.  Partly this is us being snarky, but it’s also partly because deprivation doesn’t come across well on-screen.  Last episode, however, gave us a brief, but poignant, demonstration of that deprivation.  No matter how tired, most tribes give their all in a challenge, right?  Well, it’s brief, but in the overhead shot at the start of the first immunity challenge, while most people run, we see some of Yanu, specifically Jess, WALK!  Sure, she eventually runs, but it really does take away from the epicness of this first challenge to get off to a walking start.  And, as I say, it will have some bearing on my opinion on how this episode goes.  

Speaking of this episode, given that we had a unified vote against the first boot, there is no drama, and thus no scene of Yanu getting back to camp.  Instead, we cut to the next day, with Bhanu chanting and meditating to re-center himself.  He admits that voting people out is stressful, and needs his tribe to come together and win, especially since he perceives himself (not incorrectly) to be on the outs.  The rest of the tribe, while open to Bhanu, is more realistic about their situation.  They’re not downers per se, but they give a realistic assessment that they’re in tough shape, particularly after Bhanu and Kenzie fail to make fire.  Gotta admit, it’s a nice change of pace from the sometimes forced positivity of the modern era of “Survivor”.  Had they gone full Debbie Downer, that probably would have been annoying as well, but a nice, human reaction is good to see.  Kenzie even goes and has a cry at an archway just past the Matthew Grinstead-Mayle Injury Rock (TM).  She consoles herself that at least her eyes look really blue after she cries, which… Yeah, they do.  Good on her for finding the bright side in all this.  

Life is much happier over at Nami, with Tevin busting out his best Jeff Probst impression, describing difficult challenges (such as finding a screw in an underwater stack of nails, purely by touch) for disappointing rewards (such as “air”).  It’s fine.  Look, I’m probably being too harsh.  The impression is at least decent, if not good.  I just feel like Rob Cesternino (“Survivor The Amazon”) has set the bar for Probst impressions so high no one can compete, no matter how talented.  The over-the-top challenges and underwhelming rewards were hilarious, though.  

Tevin reminds us that he’s relying on his social game, even getting along with Randen, who if you’ll recall from last episode was not doing so great socially.  Tevin actually says that Venus is the one person he can’t stand.  This is a sentiment Soda agrees with too his face, though privately she admits she has a bond with Venus.  That said, the numbers aren’t there to save Venus, so Soda admits to distancing herself, something we see when she puts off having a strategic meeting with Venus.  

Venus, not being blind, recognizes this.  She’ll do something about it later, but for now, uses the situation to talk about the story of her parents immigrating from Iran, and how she won’t give up, since they gave so much to get her a better life.  These “flashback” scenes are divisive amongst the fandom, and I’ve been more lenient on them than most.  That said, for me, for a flashback to work, the drama has to be A) Real drama, and not just the show trying to force drama, and B) Relevant to what’s being talked about on screen.  So, where does Venus’ fall?  Eh, kind of average, to ge honest.  It’s a decently dramatic story, and a tough emotional time is KIND OF a connection to it, but it’s not the strongest tie or the strongest story, since Venus herself was a young child when it happened.  Nice to know more about her beyond people thinking she’s a “princess”, however.  

Here we get our intro for the season, and I’m happy to see it back.  I was worried about its absence the first episode, but evidently they just wanted to give us time to bond with the new cast, and needed the extra minute or so, which I can understand.  And hey, even though it’s a remix of old themes, the music’s pretty good too!

Fire is on the agenda over at Siga, with Ben in particular insisting on being the one to make it.  He does so and everyone gives a cheer.  This cues Ben to talk about HIS backstory, overcoming a lisp and general shyness to become a musician.  Yeah, this one works less than Venus’.  I can sympathize with overcoming bullying, but the triumph of that and the triumph of making fire with flint is a tenuous connection under the best of circumstances. Ben gives his tribemates some nicknames, which are decent, but not as iconic as, say, the “Stealth ‘R Us” ones from “Survivor Caramoan”.  “Jungle Jem” is about the only one that stands out, and that’s mostly due to Ben’s over-explaining the pun.  

Not to say that there isn’t ANYTHING of value to be gleaned at Siga.  Charlie takes us through the alliances again, noting that he’s in the middle between the “Men’s Alliance” and “Charlie’s Angels” (Charlie+the women of the tribe).  The former alliance wants to bring in Maria as their fourth, due to her extra vote (also probably because of her thing with Tim from the previous episode), and Charlie’s generally on board with that.  While he’s still playing the middle unimpeded, he notes (correctly) that he’d be on the bottom of the women if he went with them, but has more room to maneuver sticking with the men, which seems like a fair assessment.  He explains that he doesn’t want to be led, but wants to get into a “waltz” with someone, thereby making titling this blog incredibly easy.  That someone turns out to be Maria, as the presumed other swing vote between these two groups.  The pair agree to go “Malcolm and Denise” (“Survivor Philippines”) together, which I suppose is a decent comparison, since it’s an older woman (by the standards of this show) and a younger guy working together, though Charlie is no Malcolm in terms of challenge ability.  Still, he’s a better fit that Adam Klein was when he made the comparison on “Survivor Winners at War”, and that was with the ACTUAL Denise.  Our NEW Malcolm and Denise seem to be leaning towards the men for their strength, but for now, where they’ll vote is still up in the air.  

After commercial, we’re back at Nami.  After Liz talks about money again, and how it makes it difficult to find a new husband, we get to actual strategy.  Venus has decided to do something about her situation, and that something is a renewed idol hunt.  I will push back a little bit on Venus doing this in lieu of trying to forge one new social bonds, but given some stuff we’ll see later, it seems like that door is largely closed at this point.  Unfortunately for her, she’s not the only one hunting.  Hunter reminds us that he’s in this game too, and is furiously searching while looking for firewood.  He even uses the correct meta of poking around significant-looking trees!  

Meta does not win the day, however.  It’s Randen, our third hunter, who ends up picking up the Beware Advantage.  It is indeed in a tree, though credit where’s it due, it was tough to find.  No colored string to give it away (or if there was, very close to tree color), so it blended it well with the trunk.  Similar to Tiffany’s last episode, it tells him to dig beneath where he found it.  He finds a box, only to be told, again like Tiffany, that his tribe needs to lose a challenge to get his next clue.  Unlike Tiffany, this is actually an issue for Randen.  Contrary to my pre-season predictions, Nami is quickly turning out to be the tribe that succeeds the most, so if he wants that idol, he’s probably going to have to convince his tribe to throw a challenge.  

In order to do that, Randen is going to need some allies.  People with influence.  People with power.  People who can shift the tribe dynamics in his favor, while still being subtle about it.  

Randen talks to Venus, with the pair agreeing to work together.  I have no idea why.  Venus frankly seems like the LAST person you’d want to share this information with, since she can leverage it against you easily, and can’t really help you much at all, but that’s what he does.  For her part, Venus takes the alliance, but in fairness, it’s pretty much the only one she’s been offered, so I don’t really blame her.  

With Yanu, well, we’ve seen that Bhanu’s emotions are a bit off-putting for his tribe, time to see what JESS is doing to keep her on the outs.  In this case, it’s eating some ants crawling up a palm frond.  Honestly, don’t get why her team is giving her such a hard time about this?  Yeah, it’s not MUCH protein, but it’s something, and given the minimal effort she needs to acquire it.  Granted, cooking a worm is a bit of a weird suggestion, but more so for the “cooking” part than the “eating the worm” part.  Worms are so small, cooking one doesn’t seem worth it.  

Jess does, however, realize she needs to open up a bit more, and so socializes with Bhanu.  She talks about how she met her husband, and teaches the group a bit of Chinese, Q chiming in that he knows it from “Rush Hour”, which gets a laugh out of most present.  This socializing leads Kenzie to further socialize as well, this time with Jess and Bhanu.  After taking them out to visit the archway past the Matthew Grinstead-Mayle Injury Rock (TM), she floats the idea of taking out Q to them, due to being a threat down the road.  The pair give fairly standard responses, though Jess is more wishy-washy, saying she needs to figure out what she thinks.  Kenzie correctly reads that the two are not really open to working with her right now, and so reaffirms her commitment to getting rid of Jess.  Behind her back, however, in a clever bit of sign language, Jess signals to Bhanu that they should try to target Kenzie.  

This may be an easier sell than they think.  Q has also noticed Kenzie’s socialization, and begins to worry, not unfairly, that Kenzie wants to be Tiffany’s tight ally, when he and Tiffany are already tight, thus putting him at risk.  Will he actually act on this?  Time will tell.   

Before our challenge, there’s a brief interlude at Siga again.  Charlie notes that he’s not the most social guy, so any nerdy interest he can use as a connection is welcome.  Today, that interest is music, as he and Ben get into a battle of who can name the most songs from a given artist/band.  Ben chooses Metallica, while Charlie, naturally, goes Taylor Swift.  Somewhere, Hunter just got really uncomfortable, and doesn’t know why.  It’s a decently fun back and forth, with the editors kindly keeping a tally as each names a song.  Charlie emerges victorious at 107, though the number of songs both could name was impressive.  A decently fun scene, but not one really necessary to the show.  I’m generally in favor of those, but when you make your episode two hours long, and it isn’t the premiere, I expect you to have something useful to fill that time.  This was entertaining, but not much else, and the highlight was less the duel itself, and Tim’s confessional about it.  I don’t know, it amused me.  Gave off strong “How do you do, fellow kids?” vibes based off his tone.  

Our challenge today is a combination of “Dragging the Dragons” from “Survivor Cagayan”, and that word/arch puzzle from “Survivor 45”, scaled up.  One tribe member unties a machete and cuts down wheels for a cart.  Tribes then dig up boxes containing puzzle pieces which they transport to the end, then solve said puzzle.  First two tribes to finish win immunity and varying amounts of fishing gear.  Nothing much else to write home about; bog-standard challenge.  

More interesting in the pre-challenge banter.  Everyone else seems shocked to see Jelinsky voted out, which, given that most of his failings were in personal interactions, I can understand their shock.  Only Maria and Tevin should maybe not be shocked, since they got to see him fold so quickly, but since we don’t see them specifically react, maybe they didn’t.  There’s also some good trash talk between Q and Soda, which does a nice job straddling the line between fun and mean.  It helps that both give as well as they receive, implying they understand it’s all just talk.  Then, to top it all off, Probst busts out the knife from “Survivor 45” again, using it to cut off a fake Buff Nami added to their idol.  Nice touch.  Glad to see the knife come back.  

Sadly, this is where the good points here end.  This episode, I’m sad to say, has done a poor job implying anyone but Yanu will be going to Tribal Council tonight.  We’ve had at least a BIT of strategy form all sides, but Yanu very clearly got the bulk of it, as well as the most targets.  Randen finding the idol, and thereby being incentivized to throw the challenge.  However, if there was any chance that would happen, it would be played up more.  No, Yanu has lost this, no matter what happens.  

Instead, let us focus on our sit-outs.  Liz for Nami, Moriah for Siga.  Both logical choices, and they don’t take their time on the benches to strategize.  They do make small talk however, and, in  Liz’s case, annoying cheer on her tribe.  I get that you want to pump up your team and all, but do it in a less obnoxious way, ok?  

Sure enough, Yanu loses, though to their credit, they keep it close, and there’s a lot of back and forth.  All tribes have trouble getting the archway built, and while they still come in first, Nami has a false finish when they get their arch set up, only to discover that they misspelled the puzzle solution (“persistence”).  Tiffany is so mad about this that she can’t even talk, lest others potentially look at her sideways.  

Since she needs some time, let’s check in with Nami.  Yep, still riding the high after that win, trying out their new fishing gear.  Tevin even brings us a Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) reference, which I’m kind of surprised we’re still getting in 2024.  Dude’s still iconic, I guess.  

The only real downer here is Venus, though this time, I’d say she has good reason.  During the challenge, she asked the team to turn the cart a bit, since it was going to run over her foot.  They did not, and now her toe is hurt.  Everyone we see, from Tevin to Soda, dismisses this as whining.  Look, I get that you don’t like Venus, but that doesn’t mean EVERYTHING she does is to be annoying!  I’m 100% on her side here!  That’s not cool to just ignore your tribunate to the point they get injured!  Frankly, I’m amazed Venus is a collected as she is about it.  Another brush-off from Soda even gets Venus to realize she’s against her, also noting that Soda keeps grabbing the idol from her after Probst hands it over.  Nothing she can do about it now, since no one here is a dumb as the men’s Manono tribe from “Survivor One World”, but, as Telltale Games would say, “Venus will remember that…”

Evidently we didn’t give Tiffany enough time, since she’s still upset once we check back in with Yanu.  She worries about how she’ll be seen, not so much by her own tribe, but by the other tribes.  She notes the perils of showing frustration as a black woman in society, not wanting to come across as the “angry black woman”, but also understandably stressed at needing to keep an eye on herself every day as a result.  It’s honestly really open and touching, and I applaud Tiffany for being so vulnerable.  See, show?  THIS is how you get us to connect with your players as people!  And you’ll note you didn’t even need a flashback for it.  

Kenzie, seeming to not quite read the room, tries to redirect Tiffany to talk about strategy.  The pair do settle on Jess as the target for weakness in challenges.  I’d say it’s lack of cohesion that cost you this last challenge, but for the first one?  Yeah, between walking at the start and being on the puzzle, you could argue Jess is the weak link challenge-wise.  Plus, outside the alliance, not giving you much in terms of strategy, her target makes sense.  

Still, Jess has the possibility of using her Shot in the Dark, and Kenzie and Tiffany would like to prevent that.  As such, they’ve made a fake idol, and hidden it where the real idol was.  Tiffany, in some of the worst acting this episode, coaxes Jess into an idol hunt.  She and Kenzie then get frustrated when Jess walks right past the idol, instead following the interesting-looking-trees meta.  They verbally berate her over and over in confessional for this, which is not a good look for them.  I may enjoy Tiffany and Kenzie more as strategists, but they’re REALLY laying into Jess here for stuff that I’d say is fairly reasonable.  Criticize her for being slow to start playing, but missing an idol?  Your bad acting job would be enough to kill her enthusiasm (since she could suspect a plant), and trees are a perfectly valid place to hunt for idols.  You may be the better players, but Jess comes out looking nicer than the two of you in this scene.  

Plan B, since they need Jess to have the idol, is to have Q give it to her.  He does so, urging her to vote Kenzie with him and Bhanu.  Yes, this is our misdirection for the episode.  Q notes that while he is lying to Jess, she and Bhanu would be votes for him, while Kenzie might not be.  And it would be SO EASY to just really flip the vote on Kenzie instead.  Hmm…

Our next scene is… MORE OF THE SAME!  Yeah, this is where the two hour run time starts to feel stretched.  The majority of this scene is just reiterating the strategy I just described, and could easily have been condensed.  Don’t get me wrong, more “Survivor” is usually a good thing, and I think 90 minutes is the sweet spot for a regular episode like this.  But two hours?  If you don’t have enough things to fill those two hours, make some hard cuts and go back to 90 minutes.  I like the song battle at Siga, but we didn’t need it, and we could have condensed these two strategic scenes to one.  Trim some stuff here and there, and this episode could easily fit a 90 minute run time.  

That said, there are two new bits added here.  Could have just had them in the last scene to save time, but they’re good stuff nonetheless.  Say what you will about Jess, she actually has the brains to CONSIDER that the idol being given might be a fake, noting its similarity to the items on their torches.  Granted, most idols look like that nowadays, but still, a good train of thought to follow.  I feel like the plan might be rumbled when Q gets oddly defensive about the idol, but partly because she has little other choice, she seems satisfied.  

The other new bit comes when Bhanu begins to get paranoid, and he, Q, and Jess discuss the Kenzie plan.  We learn that Q doing this plan is conditional upon Tiffany coming with him.  This makes sense.  There’s pros and cons to getting out both Jess and Kenzie for Q, and no real bad option for him.  Either way, to prevent potentially being blindsided next episode, his best bet is to keep Tiffany as tight as possible, as she’d likely be needed for any next move.  Voting out Kenzie without her would piss her off, and so he’d either have to sacrifice her as well (a tough call this early in the game), or end up voted out himself if Bhanu and Jess were to flip.  He floats the idea of getting rid of Kenzie to her, and she seems at least open to the possibility, but privately says she wants Jess gone, since she wanted her gone last episode anyway.  As such, sticking with Jess is probably Q’s best plan.  Plus, even if Jess isn’t more of a challenge sink than Kenzie (and to be fair, while we haven’t seen Kenzie struggle, she doesn’t seem to be a challenge beast either), Kenzie at least seems motivated, something you’ll need to win given the resources of the other tribes, and that alone is a reason to keep her over Jess.  

While not one for the history books, Tribal Council is a fun, above-average affair, at least by the standards of the modern era.  Jess tries and fails to double-talk miserably, leading Kenzie to call out that she intentionally didn’t talk strategy with Jess that day.  Bhanu, however, is the star of the show.  He goes off on a rant about his emotions in the game, leading to a great wide-eyed expression from Q.  Probst then points out that Bhanu has a hard time hiding the target, something Q also calls him out on, and says would be a liability come the merge.  Bhanu defends himself, but poorly, leading to him asking basically everyone but Kenzie what to do.  Q is the only one to give him a straight answer, telling him to “Stick to the plan”, a la Keith Sale (RIP) of “Survivor San Juan del Sur”.  Then, to top it off, we find that the theme of this season is “People telling Jeff ‘It’s time to vote’” since Q says it where Bhanu said it last time.  All set to pretty epic music.  Good stuff all around.  

There’s decent mystery as to where the vote will go, at least at first.  As soon as Jess plays the fake idol, however, we know she’s done.  If Q really wanted to use her vote, he would have told her not to play it.  After all, Probst will have to confirm it’s a fake, meaning he loses her trust, at least partially, if she stays.  Wisely, he lets her go, and I can’t say I’m too sorry.  Jess seems like a nice person, but she was too slow in playing the game (which she herself admits in her final words), and just didn’t pop on screen.  Sadly probably going to be the forgotten player of this season.  Still, she’s a good sport, slapping Q playfully on the knee when Probst declares the idol a fake.  We respect good sportsmanship around here.  

Yeah, sad to say, this episode was a downgrade.  Not terrible, but it really felt like it stretched to meet the time.  While entertaining, the strategy was simpler than last episode, and misdirection weak at best.  A fine enough episode, but this show can do much better as well.  

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.  

Idol Speculation: Top 10 “Survivor” Episode 1 Flameouts

No, dear reader, you are not going crazy.  We have not gotten a new episode of “Survivor” a mere two days after the first one!  No, I just had a realization after last episode that I had to act upon.  I mentioned that, while maybe not the top of the list, first-book Jelinsky is definitely one of the more notable epic flameouts this show has had in the first episode.  Thus, I got to thinking “Where EXACTLY does he rank?”, and so I decided to resurrect this segment once again!

For those of you new here, back when I started doing “Idol Speculation”, I would do lists entitled “Top 5 and Bottom 5”.  As the title would imply, I would take some category of “Survivor” (challenges, idols, first boots, winners, etc.) and rank what I thought were the five best and five worst.  As time went on, however, I did this less and less.  Partly because I’d run out of obvious categories, partly because it was making the blog take longer to write, and I was less inclined to stay up as late.  The quality also began to suffer in my haste to get it out quick to get more sleep.  For a while, I just thought I would retire the segment, but that felt like a cop-out.  Then, I hit upon the idea of just making them separate blogs in my spare time, to be done when I see fit!  I’ll grant I haven’t done it as much as I thought, as the “lack of new topics” remains an issue, but it’s not entirely dead!  So that’s what brings us to where we are today.  

The astute among you have doubtless noticed this is entitled “Top 10” rather than “Top 5 and Bottom 5”.  There are some cases where I just did a straight Top 10 list where I felt that one of the two categories didn’t fit.  Such is the case today, where we’ll be ranking “Episode 1 Flameouts”.  People who spectacularly failed in the span of a first episode.  Given that success is not as evident in one episode, the format didn’t seem to fit.  Hence, a straight Top 10 list instead.  

A quick couple of notes before we begin: As the name would imply, I am ONLY looking at flameouts that happen in episode 1 of any given season of the show.  There have certainly been spectacular flameouts in other episodes, but given the confusion of “How much did this flameout happen over several episodes”, those will not be counted, but may get their own list someday.  Sorry, no analysis of Drew Christy (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”) in this list.  That said, I am looking specifically at the first EPISODE, not the first BOOT for this list.  If episode one has multiple eliminations in it (like “Survivor 41”, for example), both eliminations are up for consideration for this list.  If both make the list, they get separate entries.  And, as is often the case, there will be an “Honorable Mention” that didn’t TECHNICALLY qualify, but was close enough so as to be worth talking about.  All that out of the way, let’s talk about the biggest episode one fails of “Survivor”, starting with:

10. Gillian Larson (“Survivor Gabon”): When I set out to enumerate this list, I had a good amount of players I was certain were going to be on it.  Gillian was not one of them.  Partly this was because I’d forgotten for a moment that “Survivor Gabon” had two votes in episode one, but also because I tend to think of Gillian as very soft-spoken.  She had a distinctive accent, but she didn’t exactly overplay like a lot of people we’re going to see on this list.  However, looking at all of my other options written down, I realized that Gillian was far more of a distinctive character than a lot of them.  Hell, she titles the episode with “Want to See the Elephant Dung?”  She’s also the first person this season (though hardly the last) to earn the ire of Randy by her obsession with said elephant dung, and that counts for something.  But the thing with her gameplay, the thing that in my view put her on the list, is that she was the CAPTAIN of Fang.  She STARTED this train-wreck of a tribe.  True, she didn’t make every pick, but especially with the “mom” vibes the tribe ended up starting out with, I think she had at least some influence on it.  All that said, I can’t in good conscience put her higher than this.  Once she had her “elephant dung” moment, she became much more soft-spoken and played at least decently competently.  There wasn’t much she could have done about her elimination, given how quickly Fang was going downhill challenge-wise.  The “flameout” is really only before the first vote, rather than the second where Gillian herself was eliminated, but she had some standout over-the-top moments beforehand, and that counts for at least something.  

9. Jonny Fairplay (“Survivor Micronesia”): I say time and again that one of the things that “Survivor Micronesia” does that earns it my #1 spot in season rankings is get rid of Fairplay as quickly as possible.  That said, I know I’m in the minority here, and a lot of people enjoy his character.  Fair enough, tastes are going to differ, but I think we can all agree that even with only one episode, we got plenty of Fairplay content to help satisfy us.  Cosplaying as, and then mocking, Probst.  Getting into a (deserved) feud with Yau-Man over the idol hunt.  Being the swing vote between two alliances.  Rubbing salt in the wounds of the other tribe, only to end up spurring them on to win immunity.  And, of course, tearfully asking to be voted out, and hugging Probst on the way out.  It’s the latter point in particular that lands him on this list.  The melodrama of “I miss my wife and child!”, while not “overplaying” as such, is a quintessential early boot.  Burns out bright, but also burns out fast.  Does the fact that it’s been basically revealed that that reasoning was an act, and Fairplay was just in severe pain and denied medicine change anything?  Of course not!  If anything, it makes his performance all the more hammy and over the top!  Plus, much easier to mock if he’s not being sincere!  It may not be as crazy as his initial run, but Fairplay’s second run was certainly an exit to remember.  

8. Jolanda Jones (“Survivor Palau”): Palau actually had the MOST possible candidates for this list with 3, due to Jonathan and Wanda being eliminated via schoolyard pick.  Wanda very nearly did make this list, but in the end, I feel like Jolanda is the only one worthy of the title.  Wanda might be more memorable, but she was always going home early.  Jolanda’s flameout was almost entirely her own fault.  It kind of gets lost in how much of a disaster tribe Ulong ended up being, but even if Yolanda ended up being the overt leader, they would not have done much better, if at all.  It’s arguable that she cost Ulong that initial challenge, since she was encouraging them to take more supplies after Koror got out to a lead.  That’s the main time you see her being a bit extra, but it’s heavily implied that this was her MO throughout the game.  I would point out that she left BEFORE obvious challenge sinks like Kim.  No small feat on this particular tribe.  Speaking of which, like Gillian, guess who started putting together this particular tribe?  Yep, the disaster that is Ulong can be laid, at least partially, at Jolanda’s feet!  For me, though, the thing that put her on the list is one specific moment, one that I’m willing to bet most of my readers have forgotten.  Early on, even before the tribe swap, Jolanda decides that the heels need to be cut off her shoes.  Rather than just ask for this like a normal person, she asks arounds for a “Hercules”, and then begins chanting said name as her shoes are demolished.  That sound clip lives rent-free in my head, and for me, is more than enough to earn Jolanda a spot on this list.  The fact that most people probably don’t remember that sound clip is what keeps her for going higher, but it merits mentioning, at least.  

7. Steve “Chicken” Morris (“Survivor China”): Man, the teens or pre-teens of “Survivor” produced a lot of flameouts in the opening episodes, didn’t they? To clarify, Sekou of “Survivor Cook Islands”, and Marisa from “Survivor Samoa” were also considered for the list, but didn’t ultimately make the cut.  Now, I’m sure most of you remember Chicken, but more so for the MOMENT of his exit than his performance in the episode.  If you do, you may be scratching your head.  After all, Chicken for most of the episode was hardly an over-the-top character or player.  If anything, he was TOO soft-spoken for the game.  However, while I’m taking that into account, “flameout” to me can also mean playing epically poorly, not just being over the top.  And MAN does Chicken collapse.  One time his advice doesn’t get heeded, and he just refuses to do basically anything else for the rest of the episode.  Again, on a tribe with an actual sick person and an incredibly abrasive leader, it’s impressive to play so badly that you’re considered the obvious choice to leave.  And, if you really insist on some memorable moment for a flameout, you cannot deny that his “DAYUM” upon being voted out is worthy.  Hell, his soft-spokenness makes his outburst all the funnier, and all the more memorable as a result.  Maybe not the biggest flameout, but certainly a memorable one.  

6. Wendy Jo DeSmidt-Kohlhoff (“Survivor Nicaragua”): Similar to Chicken from the previous entry, Wendy Jo ends up on this list more for epically underplaying than overplaying.  We literally see Marty strike up a friendly conversation, the most basic part of the social game, only for Wendy Jo to give curt answers to pretty basic questions and just walk off.  There’s a lack of social awareness, and there’s TRYING to play badly.  I’m not sure this was the latter, but it really feels like it.  Also like Chicken, where Wendy Jo really shines is her Tribal Council.  The difference between her and Chicken, and what puts her one spot higher is that she goes off the rails for the WHOLE Tribal Council, not just when the votes are read.  Adding to the lack of awareness idea, Wendy Jo has no idea WHY she’s on the outs, and seems to blame everyone else for not talking to her!  When called out on this, she just rambles on and on, not making her case any better!  I don’t think she could have saved herself by this point, but if there was any doubt she would leave, she sealed her own fate.  It’s more a flameout Tribal than a flameout episode, but still epic enough to merit a spot on this list.  

5. Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Game Changers”): Ok, NOW we’re getting into the truly epic flameouts.  The people who played way too hard, way too fast.  Understandably, Tony is the patron saint of such players, even if he only ends up number five on this list.  Tony has the time where he played maniacally and it worked out for him.  He has the time where he realized that game wouldn’t work twice, and adjusted himself with skill.  And then there was the time where he played maniacally, and it bit him in the ass.  Yes, surprisingly, telling everybody to go ahead and be “nice nice” while you run off and look for the idol does NOT build trust very well.  Then, of course, Tony has to go ahead and top the “Spy Shack”.  In this case, he does it with the “Spy Bunker”, a dumb idea on par with Rupert’s death-trap shelter on “Survivor All-Stars”.  Unsurprisingly, he’s quickly found out, and Sandra is now firmly set on the warpath to his destruction.  Need I say more?  It’s freaking Tony!  One of the biggest characters from the latter half of “Survivor”!  Of course his one early exit was going to merit a spot on this list!

4. Jacob Derwin (“Survivor Ghost Island”): Yeah, pretty sure everyone knew Jacob was going to be on this list as soon as the premise was explained.  One of the more recent, and certainly more memorable, flameouts.  Jacob is sort of a textbook lesson to superfans on how NOT to play.  He started off looking for an idol clue in the rice.  Fair enough, but in doing so, he poured said rice into his distinctive monkey socks, adding a gross factor to the otherwise fairly mundane move.  Utterly pathetic in the immunity challenge, Jacob is only spared being first boot by being sent to the titular Ghost Island.  There, he’s given a chance to win some advantage, something to turn his game around… PSYCH!  It’s the Legacy Advantage, something utterly useless in the short-term, which is really what Jacob needs!  And, of course, he’s not allowed to keep it for himself!  No, no, he needs to give it to someone on the other tribe.  Jacob tries to make the best of it, and bluff having an idol… Only to be immediately called out and do a bad job of lying about it.  It’s all downhill from there, coming clean to Stephanie, only to get voted out nonetheless.  It’s just one comedy of errors from a superfan, often exhibit A about why being a FAN of the show does not PREPARE one for the show.  At this point, why Jacob is on this list speaks for itself, but I’m sure some people are asking why he isn’t higher?  Well, there’s two reasons for that.  One is that, while Jacob clearly played badly, a lot of that was either something he was forced to by production (his advantage on Ghost Island being useless to him in the short-term), or were not bad IDEAS, just poorly-executed.  Looking for a clue in the rice?  Perfectly reasonable.  Lying about an idol?  Again, a logical thing to do.  He just did those things transparently badly, but unlike the players above him, the ideas themselves are not terrible on their face.  The other reason is, well, the show really hurt Jacob.  Out of all those who did the quarantine questionnaire for “Entertainment Weekly”, he was one of the few, if not the only one, to out and out say he regretted going on the show.  While completely understandable, I feel bad for the poor guy, and it takes a lot of the fun out of discussing his flameout.  That does knock him down a few pegs, even if he definitely deserves his spot here with his performance.  

3. David Jelinsky (“Survivor 46”): There he is, the reason this list exists!  I said before that I wasn’t sure where he would rank in the pantheon of “Survivor” Episode 1 Flameouts, but I’ve ultimately decided this is where he should land.  “Survivor” is often a “Put up or shut up” game, and Jelinsky could do neither.  Epically failing at everything he volunteered to do, yet volunteered anyway!  If it just happened once, maybe it wouldn’t be that memorable, but he does this over and over!  With the “Sweat” task, with the journey, with the puzzle in the immunity challenge!  And of course we have to highlight this, both in confessional and at Tribal Council.  But the key here, the thing that makes Jelinsky hilarious, is his lack of awareness at his fate!  When he seems to display some self-awareness, telling Jess it’s going to be one of the two of them going, he admits that he is just saying that to make her feel better!  When he DOES leave, he calls it a “blindside”, despite several people not being subtle about it at Tribal Council.  The Drew Christy comparisons write themselves.  That’s an epic flameout.  Maybe not the most epic, but certainly a top-tier one nonetheless.  

2. Zane Knight (“Survivor Philippines”): The other name, along with Jacob, everyone suspected was coming on this list.  Zane is often held up as a paragon of first boots, and rightly so!  Admittedly Zane did play competently for the first half of this episode, one factor that denies him the top spot of this list, but his failure after the Immunity Challenge is just so spectacular that he can’t not be lower than this.  As a reminder, Zane asked everyone to vote him out, citing shortness of breath from smoking.  Zane tells us that this is actually a clever ploy to get people to WANT to keep him around out of sympathy, and reveal who really likes him.  Shock of all shocks, the guy who asks to be voted out gets voted out!  Who could have seen that coming?  Zane’s move seems so brilliant to him, with such an obvious outcome, that it has passed into “Survivor” legend, and if you deserve to be called a “legend” for how badly you played leading to you being the first boot, you definitely deserve to be on this list.  So why isn’t Zane number one?  Apart from competent play the first half of the episode, there IS the possibility, in my mind, that Zane could have gone first even without his play.  True, Angie and Russell Swan were probably bigger targets, but he DID fail pretty badly in the challenge, so there is an OUTSIDE chance that he could have gone first even without his epic fail.  The same cannot be said for number one on our list, who is…

1. Garrett Adelstein (“Survivor Cagayan”): Yes, Garrett somehow managed to get himself voted off over a person WHO ACTIVELY SABOTAGED THE TRIBE!  How do you manage that?  How?  Well, by trying to dictate strategy to everyone, and insisting on playing the game only one way.  Guess what, that pisses people off, again to the point that they’ll keep an active saboteur over you.  On top of that, while not as overstated as some of the others, Garrett failed pretty badly at a lot of different aspects of the game.  The elements got to him.  Not much of a feat, but Cagayan is not particularly known as a difficult season, survival-wise.  Dude wimped out pretty quickly, all things considered.  He did manage to find an idol, and didn’t use it!  And, of course, there’s the aforementioned dictation of strategy, a move so notoriously bad that, I must again emphasize, got him, not the person who threw out most of the rice, voted out.  It may not have popped the most on screen, but in terms of how badly you had to play to flame out, Garrett can’t help but be number one in this case.  

Honorable Mention: Reem Daly (“Survivor Edge of Extinction): Reem set out to prove that she wasn’t the “mother” out there, and I can say she did that.  The trouble is she did that by being abrasive towards everybody!  Moving other people’s belongings, cussing, and just generally being not that pleasant to be around, Reem definitely earned her early exit.  I get WHY she did this, and I applaud her for trying to break stereotypes.  The issue for Reem is that you need to REPLACE those stereotypes with something else positive, not something that’s going to make people dislike you.  She tries too hard, and as a result has the epic fail that could easily have put her on the list.  I could easily see her having been on around where Tony was, maybe a slot below him.  So, why only an honorable mention?  Well, like many bad things on this season, Edge of Extinction is to blame.  This twist keeps Reem around for a long time.  From an entertainment perspective, I approve (frankly it’s one of the few GOOD things the Edge of Extinction twist has done).  From the perspective of this list, however, it muddles whether Reem was really an EPISODE ONE flameout.  She was entertaining and memorable, but would that have been the case if we never saw her after episode 1?  Probably, but I can’t guarantee that, so for that reason, I must give Reem an extremely honorable mention.  

And there you have it.  Anyone I missed?  Anyone I horribly overrated or underrated?  Let me know in the comments below, and I’ll be back with my regular recap after the next episode!  

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.