Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Cast Assessment

Come on in, guys!  Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that EVERYONE is entitled to.  Well, last year I looked upon the coming of the new cast as a relief, both because it delayed me having to review “Survivor Guatemala”, one of my favorite seasons, and because the cast of “Survivor Philippines” was quite good.  That pattern, most regrettably, was not repeated here.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that this situation is the exact OPPOSITE, since I like “Survivor China” but am not attached to it, and the cast for this season is bloody AWFUL!  Ugh, I feel sick, and I don’t think it’s the Novocain from my recent dental work.  So, trembling at the knees, let’s jump into the new season of “Survivor” and get it over with.

I suppose, first of all, that I should explain how I’m going to be working the cast this season, since we have a unique twist. “Survivor Blood vs. Water” (the longest title I’ve had to blog so far, man I’m going to get a lot of writer’s cramp) features returning players competing AGAINST their loved ones.  Pretty much every website and article talks about them as a pair, despite said loved ones playing on opposite teams (Tadhana for the loved ones, Galang for the returnees), and, since I think their relationship/bond with one another will be key to how the season plays out, so will I.  However, as this is a season with half returning players, as with “Survivor Caramoan”, I will be suggesting replacements for those I don’t like.  This replacement will be both for the returnee and the loved one, and so my pool will be limited to those people who I know have family members who would be old enough to do the series, and give the same gender ratio as the people they’re replacing.  Not the BEST method there is, but there’s little else I can do, and believe me, there are a LOT of people who need replacing this season.

Well, with that business out of the way, time to talk about the people themselves.  How should I order them?  Well, chronological order seems to be the most show-offish, so that would mean I’d have to start with:

Gervase Peterson (43, 10^th place “Survivor Borneo”) and his niece Marissa Peterson (21, Student): Wow, another parallel to “Survivor Philippines”; right off the bat, we have one of my “picks” for the season (for those who don’t know, at the outset of the cast intro, I select one man and woman who I think can win, and one person I think will be voted off first), though this time it’s a nicer pick.  Yes, those of you who were excited for my ranting will just have to wait, because Gervase is one of the people I’m most excited to see back.  Gervase, on his first season, was best known for being funny and for being socially very adept.  His downfall in the game was simply that he didn’t take it seriously enough, and wasn’t cutthroat enough to win the game.  Fortunately, hindsight and 13 years have erased that, and Gervase has come prepared to use his skills to the fullest.  Given that “Survivor” is, as Probst is fond of reminding us, a SOCIAL game, and given that Gervase hasn’t lost any of his charm (I couldn’t stop laughing at his self-deprecating humor during one of his videos), I think Gervase can win the whole thing.  He has the skills, and now he has the knowledge needed to optimize his skills, if he plays his cards right (both figuratively and literally), he can probably coast his way to an easy victory.  His niece, Marissa, on the other hand, will have a bit of a tougher time of it, I feel.  She seems to be very charming, and there’s some evidence to suggest that she’ll be able to hold her own enough physically that she won’t be seen as a liability, but on the other hand, she’s easily the youngest castaway out here (at least in terms of physical age, mentally she’s more mature than many of the returnees), and also doesn’t seem to have much outdoors/camping experience, so the elements could work against her in that respect.  I doubt she’ll be a target initially, but I’d expect her to be out somewhere around the merge.  Still, it’s not out of the question that she’ll do well, I just don’t think it very likely.

Tina Wesson (52, 1^st place “Survivor The Australian Outback”, 18^th place “Survivor All-Stars”), and her daughter Katie Collins (25, Hedge Fund Support): Going from the youngest to oldest, as well as from one castaway that prevents a rant to another, we have Tina Wesson, who also holds the distinction of being the first former winner talked about this season (as well as the only first boot brought back this season.  Boy, Tina is on the end of a lot of statistics this time around).  Tina is a bit of interesting case, because while she isn’t the biggest character that ever was, you just can’t help but like her.  She executes the “Tribe Mother” strategy probably more perfectly than anyone ever on the show.  This is particularly surprising given that Tina’s not exactly what you’d call a heavy-duty survivalist.  She was well known as the picky eater of the Outback, and while she’s not exactly a liability physically, she was never brilliant at that aspect either, saved only by a brilliant social game, which never really had time to work its magic on All-Stars, hence the early boot.  She is helped, however, by having been out of the game for so long, so she’s not remembered as as much of a threat as some other castaways, and by not being so motherly as to hold onto her daughter if she becomes a liability.  Indeed, they admit no hard feelings towards one another, whatever happens in the game, and I think that’s the philosophy the winner is going to need this season, if they want to be at all successful.  So, Tina for me is kind of a coin toss.  Given that I don’t know how well her social game has held up over the years (though my gut says well), I’m going to be conservative and say that Tina’s age will do her in, and she’ll be gone fairly early, certainly before the merge.  Again, Tina’s major strength is her social game, and if she can work that to her advantage once again, this could be completely wrong.  However, I’m hedging my bets once again by giving my female pick to win it all award to Katie.  Like mother like daughter, in this case, but I think Katie’s probably inherited her mother’s charm and social aptitude, and given that she’s younger, stronger, and may be less of a picky eater, I’d say Katie can win this whole thing.  Now, Katie herself has not said much, mostly letting her mother do the talking, and I’m grasping at straws here, so I may be completely off, but I’ll say that the women of this season, both returnees and loved ones alike, just don’t strike me as the type of person needed to win.  I just don’t see it happening.

Rupert Boneham (49, 8^th place, “Survivor Pearl Islands”, 4^th place, “Survivor All-Stars”, 6^th place “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”) and his wife Laura Boneham (44, Merchandiser): Ok haters, get ready to spam the comments: I don’t mind Rupert on this season.  Yes, get that he’s getting to play a fourth time (an honor only shared by Boston Rob of “Survivor Marquesas”), and yes, I get that he takes his role a little too seriously, and yes, I get that his gameplay doesn’t change that much from season to season, and yes, I get that he really doesn’t understand the strategy of the game that much.  I don’t care.  My issue with Boston Rob getting to play four times is that it felt like they were just having him on again and again until he won because he was personal friends with Probst and was a strategic player who “deserved it”, in the eyes of the producers.  I don’t get that sense with Rupert, since, as noted, he’s NOT a strategic mastermind.  Also, as I’ve said before, I don’t mind that everyone on a season is not a strategic mastermind.  Now, I prefer they not be a swirling vortex of STUPID like we’ll be getting into later, but the odd strong, not as smart person, I don’t mind, particularly with Rupert.  I’m not sure if I made this clear on my earlier blogs, but on a personal level, I kind of identify with Rupert.  We are very different people, to be sure, but I too was that fat little picked on kid in Elementary and Middle School, right around when I got interested in “Survivor”.  Rupert helped me through that, and expanded my interest in the show, and so, for that, I have a soft spot for the guy, and like seeing him play again, however many times.  I’d also point out that of the repeat players this season, who’ve been on at least one other season previous, Rupert has the highest average place, and many of said repeats were strategic masterminds, so THERE!  Now, with all that gushing, I have to admit that I think this is going to be Rupert’s worst season, simply due to the fact that he loves his wife too much.  Hear me out: in the real world, this is a lovely thing, and it was touching to see Rupert meet up with his wife on “Survivor All-Stars”, but the man is just too dedicated.  He, I believe, is the one person who would throw himself on his sword for his wife, would be unwilling to compromise on the elimination of his loved one, and I believe that will be his undoing.  Aside from a certain twist that I’ll be saving my opinion on for the first episode blog (I know it’s out there, but there’s so many twists early on this season, I just can’t cover them all in one blog, and the cast assessment is always too long anyway) that could easily be Rupert’s undoing, I just don’t see his fellow returnees putting up with his “I won’t vote off my wife” stance, and I expect this uncompromising attitude will get him out well before the merge.  Laura, however, is another matter.  She seems pretty good on the outside of things, a lot like her husband.  Strong, outdoorsy, and one of the few loved ones to talk almost as much as the returnee they’re paired with.  Additionally, Laura, unlike her husband, IS willing to compromise on certain issues, and is more socially adept from what I can gather.  Unfortunately, Laura is also unwilling to vote out her husband, and I’m sure the other loved ones won’t take kindly to that attitude any more than the returnees will.  Bottom line, it’s either Laura or Rupert gone early, and my money’s on Rupert to go early.  If that’s the case, I expect Laura’s strategic side will show itself, and she’ll make at least the mid-to-late merge, and even possibly win.  But if Rupert doesn’t go before the merge, Laura’s DEFINITELY gone before the merge.  And yes, she also wears tie-dye.

Aras Baskauskas (31, 1^st place “Survivor Exile Island”) and his brother Vytas Baskauskas (33, Yoga Instructor/Math Professor): Here’s the first couple back who I had to simply ask “Why?”.  I don’t dislike Aras, but I put him on my “Bottom 5” winners list for a reason: he’s BORING!  The guy’s nice, I don’t dislike him, but in a show that thrives on emotion and controversy, Aras was a calming agent, so why bring him back?  I’m still not sure, and while I’m not DISPLEASED to see him, nor am I particularly happy that he’s back.  Personally, I’d rather see someone more exciting, more dynamic, but hey, it could be worse.  And it is.  Still, what of Aras’ chances in the game?  In my opinion, not good at all.  As I said, Aras’ contributions are in physical strength (which the returnees have in spades) and in being a calming agent, bringing together diverse, argumentative groups of people and keeping them together.  Aras thrives in situations where people are at each other’s throats from the get-go, so that he can step in, keep everyone united, have a finger in every pot, and always keep the attention on someone else.  These returnees, overall, don’t seem to be a particularly conflict-prone group, so Aras has no one to help and hide behind.  I suspect he’ll be kept around initially for his strength, but booted shortly before the merge as a threat.  But what of Brother Vytas?  Well, he has an awesome first name, he’s a Yoga Instructor (just like his brother on his first season) as well as a Math Professor (ok, odd combination of occupations there, but I suppose a diverse skill set works to his advantage), and he apparently has a huge temper.  Gee, I don’t see THAT being a problem over 39 days in the elements!  No, I predict Vytas will have an even shorter shelf life this season than his brother, due simply to being unable to keep his head down.  His temper will make him a liability, and he’ll be voted out very early on, probably first 4 episodes or so.  Now, since we’ve got boring players, I think we need to replace with interesting players, which is why I would instead have cast:

Shane Powers (“Survivor Exile Island”) and his son Boston:  Check it out, I even got people from the same season!  Shane was anything but boring, bringing fun, belligerent, ciggarette-withdrawl induced rants we could never get enough of.  Also, his moment with his son on the show was just too touching to pass up.  Shane’s been overlooked for several returnee-based seasons before now, I don’t see why they didn’t bring him back for this one.  He would have been much more fun to watch than Aras.  Again, don’t take this to mean I absolutely hate Aras, I’m just not a fan of his, and think the show could do better.

Candice Cody (nee Woodcock)(30, 8^th place “Survivor Cook Islands”, 8^th place “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”) and her husband John Cody (30, Physician/Army Orthopedic Surgery Resident): AAAGH!  THE ACCURSED ONE RETURNS!  SMITE HER WITH EVERYTHING YOU… Ok, ok, maybe I’m being a bit harsh. Truth is, I used to like Candice a lot.  Certainly more than the previous sentences would have let on.  No, my problem is that the one season I own on DVD that I’ve ever been unable to finish (and I own all officially available ones, aside from “Survivor Cook Islands” and “Survivor Fiji”) is “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, and it’s entirely her fault.  Russell Hantz, and man single-handedly responsible for ruining several seasons, could have been gone for good, and then Candice had to go and flip on the Heroes FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON!  I USED to think she was a pretty good strategist, I mean she survived flipping to another tribe pre-merge, she has to be pretty good, but this move made no sense to me.  The Villains had nothing to offer her, and she had the votes to get rid of Russell.  That just eats me up.  But, personal feelings aside, I have to say, Candice will probably do well.  She’s got a track record of coming in 8^th place, and I doubt this season will be different.  She’s a good enough player (Russell-related moves aside) to keep out of trouble early on, but she’ll probably end up in the minority for flipping at the wrong time, and get herself voted out in the early to mid-merge, probably around 8^th place (wonder where I got THAT number from?)  John is a bit of a harder nut to crack, as there just doesn’t seem to BE that much about him. He barely speaks, and when he does he really doesn’t say anything of interest.  He seems to be ok physically, and not all that annoying, so my guess is that he’ll be kept around a while, but not be adept enough to hide himself come the merge, and be gone shortly thereafter.  He and Candice are willing to turn on each other, so I suspect Candice will go along with the plan.  Despite my personal dislike of the pair, I’m not prepared to replace them, but that’s mainly because I’m going to be replacing everyone else coming up, and so I want to at least give SOME of the cast a chance.

Tyson Apostol (34, 8^th place “Survivor Tocantins”, 14^th place “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”), and his girlfriend Rachel Foulger (33, Cocktail Waitress/Graphic Designer): Another one who I had to ask “What?” on.  Not so much that Tyson didn’t do things to merit his coming back, but I thought I recalled reading that he was gay, or perhaps that was because he kept getting compared to Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”).  I’ve never had an intense dislike of Tyson, but he rubs me the wrong way, and after his shameful boot on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, I’m surprised and somewhat disgusted that they brought him back.  Like with Candice, this move single-handedly destroyed any perception I had of him being strategic, and coupled with the fact that I personally don’t find him funny (though he did comment that Kat Edorsson of “Survivor One World” was like giving an 8-year old a machine gun, which I thought was right on the money), and even a little mean at times, and I just plain don’t want to see him again.  Still, if my guess is right, I’ll be seeing a lot of Tyson this season, whether I want to or not.  Reputation precedes you in this game, and what Tyson’s most remembered for is voting himself out.  As such, people will forget about him, as they have bigger fish to fry, and Tyson, for all my bashing of his strategy, is probably shrewd enough to use this to his advantage, and sneak his way into the mid-to-late merge area, before being voted out as a strategic threat.  The same cannot be said for his girlfriend, Rachel, whom everyone says will be a very early boot for not being able to hack it out in the elements.  I see nothing to add to this argument, it’s right on the money.  Rachel will be out early, and I will not miss her.  Still, if I hadn’t taken Tyson, who would have I taken?

Terry Deitz (“Survivor Exile Island”) and his wife Trish: We return once again to “Survivor Exile Island” because, frankly, that season had a really good family visit episode, and I just loved it.  With few parallels, Trish is easily one of the most game-savvy loved ones ever on the show, easily outstripping her husband in this regard.  If she could make such an impact with only one day on the island, imagine what she could do with 39!  It’d be great to see the power behind the throne that is Terry, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Terry back either, as a sort of Rupert expy as well.  As I’ve said, this season is not short on strategists, so a few more meatheads would not go amiss.

Laura Morett (43, 9^th place, “Survivor Samoa”), and her daughter Ciera Eastin (24, Cosmetology Student): If you don’t remember Laura, it’s probably because she was only ever on “Survivor Samoa”, and the viewing public seems to have a block where “Survivor Samoa” is concerned, in that they can only remember people whose names begin with “Russell” from that season.  And while this largely holds true for me, Laura is one of the few exceptions, just because I couldn’t stand her.  Her claim to fame was blatant conservative Christianity, which pretty much diametrically opposes my own beliefs, and being a grandmother at age 34, as both she and her daughter had children at age 17, which shows you that the pair truly make good life choices!  TO be fair, though, this did not filter in to her game very much, but this just made her unmemorable.  She tried to make a go of it as a strategist, but failed miserably at every turn, only managing to pull 2 other people into a minority alliance, which was taken care of fairly swiftly, and alienating everybody else.  But again, despite how much I may dislike it, Laura will probably last a while.  Again, like with Tyson, the returnees will have bigger fish to fry, and all Laura has to do is keep her head down, and she’ll be around until the mid-to-late merge area.  Her daughter, on the other hand, is a bit more of an interesting case.  When I first saw her, she seemed to be a good female candidate to win.  She had a good head on her shoulders, was INFINITELY more charming than her mother, and seemed to understand how to play the game.  And then came the interview where her husband back home was brought up.  At freaking PONDEROSA, where everything’s usually comfy, lush accommodation, she broke down crying!  The game hasn’t even started yet, and she can’t stand being apart from her husband.  That alone makes her unstable, and will definitely cost her the game.  With that sort of intense emotion, she might hold out a little while, but as things go on, she won’t be able to hack it, and will leave in the late tribal phase.  So, if I don’t like either of them, who would I put in place of these two?  Well, not anybody overtly more interesting, but certainly someone I don’t dislike with great intensity.  The real answer is:

Cindy Hall (“Survivor Guatemala”), and her twin sister Mindy: Relative non-entities?  Perhaps.  However, they don’t annoy me to no end, Cindy DID have a few good gameplay moments, she actually enjoyed being out in the wild, and it’d be kind of fun to have twins on “Survivor”.  Besides, as of now “Survivor Guatemala” is the only season to have no returning castaways ever, and it’s a good season.  It’s high time it got the respect it deserves.

Monica Culpepper (42, 13^th place, “Survivor One World”) and her husband Brad Culpepper (44, Attorney/ex-NFL player): Ok, there’s a lot of people from “Survivor One World” on this season, and if I took the time to rant with every single one of them about how awful a season it was, this blog would be ridiculously long, so I’ll just say it and get it out of the way: EXCEPT KIM SPRADLIN, NO ONE FROM “SURVIVOR ONE WORLD” DESERVES TO COME BACK!  EVER!  And even if SOME people did, Monica Culpepper certainly isn’t one of them.  If you found yourself thinking “Who?” when you heard her name, don’t worry, it took me a minute as well, and I have a virtually encyclopedic knowledge of “Survivor”.  The woman was a virtual non-entity in the game, being in the minority alliance from the beginning, and then getting abruptly voted off after the tribe switch, despite doing ok physically.  Still, the woman has no social game, virtually no personality (this was a scenario where the loved one talked more than the returnee), and just all-around bland.  Thankfully, this lack of gameplay means she won’t last long, and I say she’ll go out well before the merge.  Now, if you’re wondering “Why was someone so boring and forgettable brought back?”, you need look no further than her occupation: NFL wife.  That’s right, she was brought back because her husband was famous, oh, just joyful!  Still, Brad Culpepper is at least somewhat more interesting than his wife.  There’ve been NFL players before Brad, and while they tend to do well physically and last late into the game, it’s because they have no strategic game to speak of.  Repeated blows to the head will do that.  So, they’re brought along as pawns, and discarded mid-to-late merge.  Brad, however, also works as an attorney, so he marries two very different worlds, which some would argue make him the perfect candidate to win.  The problem here is that he’s forceful and full of himself, to the point where he really just comes on too strong way to early in the game.  He reminds me a bit of Ace from “Survivor Gabon”, minus the accent: a fair strategic and physical player foiled by a big personality and inability to keep his mouth shut.  Due to this, I expect Brad will have a similar fate to Ace, lasting fairly late into the tribal phase, but then getting picked off by people who’ve had enough of him.  Not to say, of course, that I’m against having an NFL wife on the season, I just think they should’ve gone with someone more interesting, someone like:

Taj Johnson-George (4^th place, “Survivor Tocantins”) and her husband, Eddie George: Like I said, no problem with an NFL wife, just make it someone who’s, oh, I don’t know, STRATEGIC, MEMORABLE, and was ACTUALLY LIKED by the viewing public.  Seriously, Taj is an underrated strategist I’d personally like to see play again, and I’m surprised she wasn’t asked, given how much Probst seemed to love Eddie George.

Colton Cumbie (22, 12^th place “Survivor One World”) and his fiancé Caleb Bankston (26, Post Office Manager/Farmer): Ok, I take it back you can HAVE Monica, just PLEASE don’t make me suffer through Colton again!  He was annoying, arrogant, racist, demeaning, a joke, unpleasant, and disliked by pretty much everybody!  The fact that he FOUND a fiancé scares me more than anything!  The man thought he had strategy, but was really just weak sauce, was disrespectful, and just not someone I ever wanted to see again.  My one consolation for him being on the season is that, due to his reputation preceding him, there’s no way ANYONE but him will be first voted off, and it will be sweet!  I know I said the same thing about Phillip last time, but there’s no way this group would be AS money hungry.  Right?  Anyway, on to the more pleasant topic of Caleb.  First of all, I feel very sorry for him, as he has the misfortune of being attached to Colton as a lover.  Caleb actually seems like a nice guy.  Not the brightest bulb on the Hanukkah tree, as they say, but nice.  Reminds me of J.T. from “Survivor Tocantins” in a lot of ways.  He also seems to have social smarts and good work ethic so I’d say he’d last a while, if it weren’t for Colton’s reputation preceding him.  Yes, unfortunately for Caleb, I think he’s likely to be branded with the same stigma as Colton, and get voted off quickly for being too crazy.  Now, he seems much more socially adept than Colton (not that such a thing is hard to do), so he may be able to overcome that stigma, and if so, I give him MUCH greater odds, probably another mid-to-late merge person in that scenario.  Still, my money remains on early boot, and in the place of both with:

“Big Tom” Buchanan (“Survivor Africa”, “Survivor All-Stars”), and his son “Bo” Buchanan: I’d like to have actually cast Lex Van Den Berghe (also of “Survivor Africa” and “Survivor All-Stars”) and one of his sons here, but I’m not 100% sure that Lex’s sons are old enough to compete yet, and so I couldn’t in good faith put him on the list.  Now, Big Tom is a big character (what a shock), but that good-ol-boy front hides a quite effective strategist.  Bo also proved himself in his appearance on “Survivor All-Stars”, both as a hard worker and a fun person to watch.  Additionally, we haven’t seen Tom in a while, and I for one enjoyed him.  Plus, with the accents, we’d make up for the lack of southerners this season this way.

Kat Edorsson (23, 7^th place, “Survivor One World”) and her boyfriend Hayden Moss (26, Real Estate Worker): Well folks, here it is, that swirling vortex of STUPID I warned you about earlier!  Yes, permit me to reintroduce the woman who has no idea what an appendix is, and can’t even complete simple 3^rd-grade math, KAT EDORSSON, one of the WORST people this show has ever produced.  You may remember just how I disliked her when I blogged “Survivor One World” how I decried her continued presence in the game and her stupidity almost every episode?  Well, suffice to say, she hasn’t changed.  What does that say about her TIME in the game?  Funnily enough, I can’t answer that just yet, as I first need to talk about her “partner” Hayden Moss, also known as “The Reason Why Kat was EVER Brought Back.”  If you’re wondering what makes Hayden so special, as he’s just a Real Estate Worker, you should also know that he is famous for winning a season of “Big Brother”, thus making him the first person to ever cross over between the shows.  If you want a DETAILED analysis of his game there, well, I can’t give it to you.  I’m really not a fan of “Big Brother”, truth be told.  I don’t dislike it, but to me it seems like “Survivor”-lite, as it has none of the physical elements that make up the game, but the social and strategic games are practically clones of one another.  Doesn’t seem worth watching to me, but it does help Hayden.  From what I can gather, he won his season by being likeable and constructing a solid 4-person alliance early in the game, which is the basis for a good “Survivor” strategy potentially early in the game, though admittedly with 20 people, getting more than 4 might be a wise decision.  Now, I initially thought him a wimp because of his choice of show, and that the elements of “Survivor” would chew him up and spit him out early, but upon further reflection, I look on this pair as the Boston Rob and Amber of this season, to make an obvious comparison to “Survivor All-Stars”.  I don’t think they’ll do quite as well, since I don’t think this cast will roll over and die quite as easily as the one on All-Stars did, but if Kat can survive the early days and meet up with her beau, vain, vapid, brainless Kat will hide behind her man until probably about midway through the merge, when we’ll thankfully be rid of the pair of them.  But, as per usual, I have a set of replacements for them, those being:

Helen Glover (4^th place, “Survivor Thailand”), and her husband Jim: While not the best season ever, “Survivor Thailand” gets a lot of undue hate, and I’d like to see that corrected with one of the more likeable of the season, Helen.  While no chessmaster, she still held her own, and had a toughness that I liked.  On top of that, since Jim seemed more eager to betray than she was, I’d like to see how he’d do this time around.

And there you have it, one of the worst casts the show has ever seen!  Time will tell if I’m right or they improve, but I don’t have my hopes up.  I’ll still watch the season, of course, particularly given that rumor has it that Season 28 will feature nothing but new castaways, a welcome development.  But now, before signing off, let’s talk about the major twist lf this season: bringing back loved ones.  This has divided many people, the consensus seeming to be that people are glad it’s different, but it still seems like a bad twist.  Since I’ve been advocating for this twist for a long time, I personally like it a lot.  It gives us a lot of our favorites back ( at least, that was the IDEA) but with a distinctive twist that changes up social dynamics.  After all “How far will you go?” was the original question of the series, and in a way, this brings it back around to that premise.  Now a lot of people have said that it’s a cheap gimmick, tearing up families for the sake of television, and I could see that happening, but I could also see it just adding a new dynamic to the game.  I’m not sure which way it’ll go, simply because the season hasn’t started yet.  I HOPE they go for the “dynamic” route, but so far, it’s looking like they’re going the “conflict” route, which I think would be a mistake.  I am glad they’re not letting people win in pairs, though, and keeping people and loved ones separate, that makes things much more interesting.  The only other drawback I see is that I feel it’s a bit soon to bring back old castaways, having just come off a “Fans vs. Favorites” season, but what’re you going to do.

So there you have it!  I hope you enjoyed the blog, and please be sure to check back for my recaps, starting Sept. 18^th, as soon after the first episode as I can make it.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Fiji

You might have noticed a trend in these “Retrospective” Blogs.  However much I may decry an aspect of a season, however much I may say I dislike it, I generally don’t give seasons too low of a score.  Sure, I may give an ASPECT of a season a low score, but generally it has something good to make up for it, and almost every season has at least SOMETHING to recommend it.  As such, my rage has not yet been unleashed in one of these blogs.  That ends today, as we look at “Survivor Fiji”, the season that almost killed the franchise.

First, though, my usual reminder that this blog contains spoilers, few though there are for this season.  If you don’t wish to read them, there’s an “Abstract” section at the bottom of this page that will tell you my most general thoughts of the season free of spoilers, but also free of detailed explanations why.  If you’re interested in those details, well, we can dive into my analysis immediately below.

CAST

My writing hand thanks me at this point because the cast section here is usually the longest of any section, but I suspect that this time will not be the case. This is because, in a word, the cast of Fiji is AWFUL!  Nearly everybody is either unlikeable or unmemorable, and this season had just one breakout character, that being the uber-intelligent Yau Man Chan.  Now, to be fair, Yau Man was a great character: he was this small, older gentleman without a mean bone in his body, whom nobody would think would survive a day.  Yet he used his brain to solve all sorts of survival problems, from opening a box (part of a twist that will be discussed in the “Twist” section) to starting fire with his glasses.  He also wasn’t too bad physically, winning several individual challenges, and while he was strategic, he wasn’t malicious about it, and tended to ally with more likeable people than people he thought he could beat, which won him over to the hearts of the American people.  My problem with Yau Man is how he was edited.  It was very obvious, even from the first episode, that he was being played up as a fan favorite and would do well, which for me, ruined him as a character.  Still, he beats most of what we had to work with.

About the only other person who could be considered “Memorable” would be the ultimate enemy of Yau Man, that being Andria “Dreamz” Herd, a “former homeless street performer” who became the season’s flip-flopper.  He was Yau Man’s rival for a reason that will be discussed in the “Twist” section, but suffice to say that Dreamz is the reason Yau Man left one space short of the finals, where popular consent is that he would have won.  This made him hated in the eyes of the public, but not in the “love to hate them” way of Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”) or other villains.  The problem with Dreamz is that you really didn’t get the sense that he went in with a whole game plan, that he was really just a whiny kid at heart who was in way over his head, and repaid kindness with betrayal for no adequate reason.

Alright, maybe this is just a little short, I suppose I should talk about a few other slightly memorable characters from the show, although take that “slightly memorable” descriptor with a HUGE grain of salt, I’m rally grasping at straws here.  One person you see a lot of people clamoring for to come back is Michelle Yi, a relative smart, tough young woman who was undone purely by a very evil producer-induced twist, that will be gone over in the “Twist” section, naturally.  Now, leaving the manner of Michelle’s leaving aside, I do personally have a soft spot for her, but mostly because I need SOMEONE to like in this season, and really, aside from her manner of leaving, all Michelle is remembered for is falling off a tower in one specific challenge, and really, that does not a good character make.  Of a similar vein is Kenward “Boo” Bernis, who’s remembered for a fairly impressive (though not quite Ozzy levels of impressive) immunity run towards the end of the game, and for injuring himself on a regular basis.  Again, somewhat funny, given that the injuries weren’t fatal or seriously debilitating, but not enough for a good character.  One POTENTIAL good character might have been would-be strategist Alejandro “Alex” Angarita (did I mention this season had a thing for people with nicknames?), the creator of the “4 Horsemen” alliance.  Now, to be fair, at the time Alex was my personal favorite of the season, but the longer the show went on, the more his ego came through, and due to only having all of ONE strategic victory, he’s really not remembered that well.  There’s also second place finisher Cassandra Franklin, who was a blatant Cirie (“Survivor Exile Island”) wannabe, and whom I couldn’t stand.  There’s also James “Rocky” Reid, who’s sort of a Shane Powers (“Survivor Exile Island”) wannabe in terms of craziness, but is only slightly remembered for bearing a resemblance to Sylvester Stallone, hence the nickname.  I suppose eventual winner Earl Cole deserves a mention, but only because he was the first African-American male to ever win.  Hell, he wasn’t even the first African-American to win, Vecepia Towry of “Survivor Marquesas” getting that honor.  On top of that, Earl, for all that he was likeable and somewhat strategic, was just BORING as a winner.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is my limit.  I really cannot qualify anyone else in the season as even remotely memorable.  Unfortunately, what’s left of the cast is either so unlikeable you don’t want to remember them (like the whiny Lisette “Lisi” Linares), or are just plain unmemorable, period.  Though, to be fair, when you consider how the season was cast, it’s surprising that even THIS many people for memorable.

You see, “Survivor”, despite having thousands of applicants each season, does not always get what it “needs”. Therefore, it has casting personnel scattered across the continent to look for potential characters to put on the show.  Upon finding such characters, they encourage them to apply, and usually get these recruits cast.  Many longtime “Survivor” fans find this practice immoral and unfair, since many people apply season after season and never get cast. yet these random people pulled off the street get a leg up.  I personally don’t admire the practice, but I don’t deplore it either, for the simple reason that many great players might not apply to “Survivor” naturally, just because it doesn’t come up on their radar, and recruiting gives them a quick, easy way to join up.  Recruiting CAN produce great characters, for instance Jonathan Penner of “Survivor Cook Islands”, one of my personal favorite castaways ever.  So yes, in my mind, recruiting is not all bad.  But I’m putting my foot down here because, while recruiting a little bit can add flavor to a season, doing it too much just gives us a very limited variety of backgrounds and personalities to the contestant pool, and just makes the season generic.  This is a problem when 18 OUT OF YOUR 19 CONTESTANTS ARE RECRUITS!  Hell, it’s 19 out of 20 if you count would-be contestant Mellisa McNulty, who quit before the game even started!  The ONLY person on this season who actually APPLIED to be on was Gary Stritesky, a bus driver only remembered for being a medevac.  I don’t know what possessed the casting department to recruit so many people, but due to oversaturation of the same type of person, it was clearly a bad idea.  The only reasons for me not giving a “0” mark here are because Yau Man was technically a good character, editing aside, and because I don’t actually GIVE “0” marks.  But believe me, I considered breaking that tradition for this season.

Score: 1 out of 10

CHALLENGES

Surprisingly enough, the challenges are one of the few things of this season that are just awful, and not GOD-AWFUL.  Now, believe me, they’re still pretty bad, which is something of a surprise overall.  Fiji, in the promos for this season was cast as this fierce warrior, cannibalistic culture that should lend itself well to amazing challenges.  This was a mistake.  What few challenges were physical tended to be fairly generic or uninspiring, and while the season had ok puzzles, they too weren’t anything spectacular.  Still, one or two original challenges turned out to be good, such as a challenge where 6 tribe members are attached to 3 poles in a hub (2 to a pole), and must maneuver themselves through a series of gates.  There’s also the oft-reused water slide challenge, which, while it does have a great visual, feels too modern for my tastes for a show like this, but still comes off ok.  Where the season really shines, though, is in reusing old challenges from past season, because unlike others, this season does reused challenges right.  By this, I mean that a new twist is added to those challenges in some way.  For instance, the Piranha challenge from “Survivor The Amazon” is reused, but this time as an individual challenge.  As you need someone to hold the meat steady while you tear at it, this does not work well for individuals, and thus adds a layer of social politics to it.  Also, while Fiji was a sort of “Generic South Pacific Island”, I will say they made use of their art style (weak though it was for this season) enough to make the challenges LOOK somewhat different where carbon copies of previous challenges did exist.  Still, a lot of these challenges were just outright stupid for “Survivor” (such as a Fijian Dance Competition), and that really drags the season’s challenges down.  Also, while a lot of challenges were ok this season, they weren’t standout or memorable, so this season gets a lower score here than it probably should.

Score: 4 out of 10.

TWISTS

Oh boy, here we go.  Those who remember my “Survivor Thailand” retrospective may recall that I said a problem with Thailand was a relative oversaturation of twists.  Well, Fiji has the same problem, but with Fiji, unlike “Survivor Thailand”, I can’t really defend the twists by saying they’re goo.  Almost without exception, the twists are God-AWFUL this season.  We start with the reused twists; racial diversity is back from “Survivor Cook Islands”, as is Exile Island.  Now, I’m normally fine with the racial divide thing (they don’t even divide them that way, they just kind of made a racially diverse cast), but this time I’m against it because I feel that part of the problem with the cast was that they looked for minorities rather than interesting characters, and I think the season suffers for it.  As to Exile Island, they change it up by making the idol be hidden at camp, as well as have to be played BEFORE votes are read.  Now, both of these are good changes, and they shift the game-breaking nature of the hidden immunity idol, but surprisingly, this is my least-favorite iteration of Exile Island of any season we’ve seen.  Since I’ve actually got something else planned for the “Overall” section, and since I touched on it a bit in the “Challenge” section previously, I’ll say here that Fiji’s overall aesthetic makes for a bad Exile Island.  Every Exile Island before or since has some feature, either geographic or man-made, that made it distinctive and interesting.  Fiji’s is just a tower on an island, nothing special.  That, to me, just makes the whole thing worse.  This season also has the distinction of being the only one to start off with 19 castaways, making it the only odd number, due to the aforementioned Mellisa having a panic attack just before filming began, with no time to find a replacement.  This did lend the season a unique air, but wasn’t all that great of a twist overall.

Now, I say the season’s twists are God-awful, and that’s partially true, but also a bit misleading.  You see, for the most part, the season’s twists were not awful in and of themselves, but either in their execution, or what the players did with them, was bad.  Case in point is the start of the season.  Similar to the beginning of “Survivor Palau”, the castaways are dropped off on a single beach with no idea what to do.  They don’t even get a cursory meeting from Jeff explaining what’s going on.  All they get is a box dropped from a seaplane that flies over at some point, and even then, they can’t open it until Yau Man figures out the solution.  However, given how the season was to come, I can only conclude that this was Pandora’s Box, and that it would have been better left shut.

The box actually contains supplies and instructions to construct the best “Survivor” camp ever, complete with hammocks and cooking supplies, just an overall luxurious camp.  The castaways quickly constructed the camp under the overly bossy directions of one Sylvia Kwan.  When they got to the immunity challenge, they were asked who led the construction of the shelter, and accordingly answered Sylvia.  Sylvia was then called upon to divide the remaining 18 contestants into 2 tribes of 9, Moto and Ravu.  Sylvia was then sent to Exile Island, where she would be immune from the first council, and, like on “Survivor Exile Island”, rejoin whichever tribe ended up losing the challenge.  Moto ended up winning, and as well as being immune, won the right to keep the luxurious camp, while the losing Ravu had to go to a pitiful camp whose only supplies were a pot and a machete.  Now, this “Haves vs. Have-Nots” twist, as it became known, is one that, like other twists, I wasn’t fond of when I heard of it, but was willing to give it a chance.  It could, in fact, have been interesting had it been done differently.  As it was, it was a game-breaking twist, as the tribe at the luxurious camp had an easier time surviving (as well as the high from winning the first immunity challenge), and so gained an exponential advantage at every challenge since, being better hydrated, and in better spirits.  Now this might have been an ok twist HAD THE CAMPS CHANGED AROUND MORE!  Say, for instance, if every reward challenge had the added bonus of staying at the better camp.  This would have raised stakes, shown interesting dynamics whenever one tribe fell from/rose to grace, and lent reward challenges more urgency.  Granted the advantage still would have been there but it would have been minimized.  As it stands, this was easily one of the worst twists ever produced, as it utterly ruined the game, due to Moto winning nearly every challenge because of their better camp.  In fact, Ravu is arguably the losingest tribe ever, winning only 1 challenge for their entire existence (technically Matsing of “Survivor Philippines” lost more, winning 0 challenges, but I would also point out that they competed in fewer challenges as well).  This in and of itself could have been an interesting twist, a la “Survivor Palau”, but I’ve said before and I’ll say again, watching a tribe get decimated is only interesting the first time.  After that it just becomes depressing.

Episode 3 then had a minor twist in which, following a challenge, the winning tribe (Moto, there’s a surprise) was offered their choice of reward, not in the catalogue way that had been done previously, but in the “Pick-one-of-three” way.  A new twist, and somewhat interesting, but not exactly a game-changer, and not one that can make up for all the bad ones.  That wouldn’t even attempt to come until episode 4 when, like on “Survivor Cook Islands”, the winning tribe (rather than the losing tribe) got a bottle with a note in it following an immunity challenge.  The note said you could either keep immunity and go live at the worse camp, or give up immunity and live at the better camp.  Moto, having won, wisely decided to keep their challenge advantage by staying at the old camp, which is the only way that Ravu avoided Tribal Council.  This was a good twist in theory, but it played out the obvious way, and didn’t really change anything, one boring person went out earlier than another person, that’s all.  Episode 4 also gave us our third medevac of “Survivor”, when Gary left due to infected bug bites.  What a way to go.

Episode 6 changed things up with a tribe flip, but this did nothing to help matters, and was just a standard schoolyard pick.  True, new people were at the Moto and Ravu camps, but the problems remained the same, and Ravu, despite winning reward, still lost majorly up until the merge.  It was also during this time that the hidden immunity idols were found, buried under caves at both camps.  Like I said, a good change to the idol, just bad in everything else.  Alex found the idol at Ravu, Yau Man the one at Moto.

The tribes then merged, first meeting at Exile Island before heading back to the old Moto camp, which had had its shelter dismantled in the process.  And then, we got the NEXT in a series of awful twists: the split team immunity challenge after the merge.  Rather than be a fight for individual immunity, the 10 castaways were divided into 2 teams of 5, and forced to compete for a group immunity.  The losing team would then be sent, with no time to strategize, to Tribal Council and vote one of them off.  Now, this was a bit unfair as it screws up alliance building, but I’ll give it credit that it had potential.  No one could have seen this coming, and with no time to strategize, it could have been intriguing to see the results.  My problems is that PROBST of all people messed up the point of this twist, that being to have a tribal council without strategizing.  Alex, Mookie Lee, and Dreamz (who were in an alliance), along with Michelle and Stacey Kimball, lost, and were sent to Tribal Council, where things COULD have changed, and Dreamz was considering flipping on the “4 Horsemen” alliance.  Plus, no one knew how anyone else would vote.  Then Probst SCREWED IT UP by asking Alex to give him a reason to get rid of everyone on the team, and Alex only gave a reason for Michelle, his intended target.  This caused Mookie and Dreamz to flip to his side, and vote Michelle out.  It got rid of a likeable player (one of the few left in the game), and completely ruined this already unimpressive twist.

Fortunately, the 4 Horsemen alliance didn’t last long.  Dreamz flipped in the next episode, systematically eliminating Edgardo, Mookie, and Alex, in that order.  During that time, we got a “Switch the vote to flush the idol” play, which worked, and the aforementioned Piranha challenge with social politics that I liked.

Then came one of our final twists with the infamous car challenge.  Yau Man won, but knowing that Dreamz had a car, offered Dreamz the car in exchange for Dreamz giving Yau Man immunity at the Final Four, should Dreamz win.  Yau Man then became the first person to ever send himself to Exile Island (Earl being his only other option, and Earl having gone several times), which was kind of cool.

While we waited for the fruits of that challenge, we also saw the first ever successful idol play (outside of Gary on “Survivor Guatemala”, which was somewhat different in that he never got a vote cast for him at that council), when Yau Man correctly anticipated that Dreamz would try to avoid his promise by voting Yau Man out.  That, I must admit, was nice.

So, it finally came down to the Final Four.  Sure enough, both Dreamz and Yau Man were left, and Dreamz won immunity.  In a stunning twist, however, Dreamz did NOT give up immunity, and Yau Man was voted out.  Now, this was a big move that everyone should like, but there’s two problems with it: one is that it was against Yau Man, someone who was well-liked, and performed by Dreamz, who was another supposed “moral guardian” of “Survivor”, so it just sent the end of the season down the tubes with a bad feel.  It also led to the last twist, in which Earl became the first person ever to win the game unanimously, with a vote of 9-0-0.  I’d just like to take this time to point out that it was the FINAL THREE and not the final two, that gave us one of the most one-sided votes ever at a final tribal council.

Well, there you have it.  There were a lot of twists, very few of which worked out.  Some were ok, but all the main, season-defining ones were just awful, and gave the season a really bad feel.

Score: 2 out of 10.

OVERALL

Do I have to spell it out for you?  Alright then: Really bad cast+somewhat bad challenges+very bad twists+slightly better than normal Generic South Pacific Island=TERRIBLE SEASON!

Score: 8 out of 40.

ABSTRACT

Fiji is easily my least favorite season of all, and certainly the least memorable.  To give you an idea, I can usually remember names of cast and various events off the top of my head for almost any other season, but this time I had to look up WAY more than I’d care to admit.  While I’m a fan of most seasons of “Survivor” good or bad, I REALLY can’t recommend this one.  Watch it only if you’re nuts for completion, or if you want to know who EVERY person of the upcoming “Survivor Micronesia” is.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Cook Islands

While my absence for the past two weeks was very benign, just a family beach vacation (which was AWESOME, by the way), due to my lapse in concentration, I forgot to mention it last blog. As such, I can’t expect you, my readers, to have necessarily stuck with me through all this, as I’m sure you have important things to do with your summers as well.  Bottom line, my numbers are down, I need something to bring my ratings up.  And, as reality television tells us, nothing increases viewership like controversy.  So, it’s serendipitous that the next season, Cook Islands, is arguably the most controversial season in the show’s history.  And that’s before it even started!

However, as weeks of delay make one forgetful, it falls to me to once again point out that this blog will contain spoilers for the Cook Islands season.  If you do not wish to read these, you can scroll to the bottom of the page, where I will have prepared an “Abstract” section that briefly describes my view of the season without the spoilers.

 

CAST

Now, for once, I don’t believe the cast section will be too terribly long, as the cast of Cook Islands is definitely not the seasons major selling point, in my opinion.  This may strike the objective viewer as odd, as Cook Islands got more returnees than any other on “Survivor Micronesia” a year and a half later, to which I reply that while Cook Islands lacked in QUANTITY of good characters, in QUALITY of good characters, it was top notch.  Given that he was the fan favorite of the season, I would be remiss to not say that by far, the breakout character of the season was Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth, or, as I liked to call him “Rupert 2.0”, and later “Challenge Jesus”.  While Ozzy did not have as much of an underdog story as Rupert did, nor was he as distinctive looking, Ozzy did otherwise posess many of the same qualities that former breakout character Rupert did.  Good fisherman?  Check.  “Moral” player?  Check?  Decent in challenges?  DEFINITE check.  “Never say ‘Die’” attitude?  Check-a-mundo.  Ozzy even had very distinctive hair to make up for his lack of beard and tie-dye tank top.  To be fair, though, Ozzy wasn’t purely Rupert.  No, he had to throw some Terry Deitz (“Survivor Exile Island”) and also be an individual challenge dominator, tying Terry’s record of 5 individual immunity wins.  Many also claim that Ozzy dominated the most of anyone ever this season, as he only lost 1 individual immunity challenge, but I would counter that he won the same number as Terry, it’s just that the merge on Terry’s season was earlier, and so Terry had more immunity challenges overall. Yeah, I’m not as huge a fan of Ozzy as most people are, because, as I think I’ve made clear, he’s something of a composite character for the show.  Still, after 13 seasons, you’d be hard pressed to find a character who has NO overlap with someone from an earlier season, and given how much the fans hyped Ozzy, it’s pretty hard TO match that level of devotion.  All in all, while Ozzy isn’t my favorite character ever, I still like him a decent amount, and certain get what other fans see in him.

One current fan-favorite that I can get behind is eventual winner, and first ever Asian-American winner Yul Kwon. Yul, I have to admit, is one that objectively would not seem to be most likely a fan favorite.  Yul is, well, normal, relatively speaking.  He does give physics lessons during immunity challenges, comparing a challenge involving hanging on a long vertical pole (originally from “Survivor Vanuatu”) to an elephant attempting to run up a tree, but other than that, he’s perfectly normal.  No, Yul was not particularly moral, but nor was he particularly amoral, but rather very strategic in a kind way.  He was physically strong, but not so much that he threatened anybody.  His personality was far from big, and overall, he’d seem like the kind of guy you wouldn’t look twice at in the game.  What makes him so popular is that he played what many consider to be the best strategic game ever seen, possibly since Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”) or Rob Cesternino (“Survivor The Amazon”).  Despite Boston Rob’s (“Survivor Marquesas”) best efforts, it was Yul who was branded the “Godfather” of “Survivor”.  As I stated in my “Survivor Vanuatu” retrospective, strategic casts do not make for the most interesting ones, but they do make for the most intriguing ones, and Yul most certainly intrigues me.  His prowess won over many viewers as well, and today he’s rightly considered one of the top “Survivor” strategic masterminds, so much so that John Cochran, in preparation for his appearance on “Survivor Caramoan”, consulted Yul for strategy tips.  Given that Cochran went on to win that season, I’d say Yul’s strategic chops are unquestionable.

But this season wouldn’t be at all interesting if it only had one strategist, but fortunately this one had two!  Jonathan Penner, the person I raved about on “Survivor Philippines”, originally hails from this season.  While Penner was not as strategically brilliant as Yul is (and to be fair, few people are), Penner could definitely hold his own, and he made up for it with his personality.  Penner was loud, crude, and often unafraid to speak his mind.  One of his most famous shticks, which I thoroughly enjoy, is talking back to Probst during challenges.  It’s worth noting that Penner was not as much loved by his fellow castmates, being, at that point, the person who made it the farthest in the game with the most votes against him.  Still, the audience couldn’t get enough of his persona, and neither could I.  His greatest move of this season (he would really show himself in others) will be discussed in the “Twists” section, but it made Penner a character in his own right, one who is well-loved by the fans and deservedly so.  His co-conspirator in the twist, Candice Woodcock, would also gain fame from this move, and is still a somewhat-loved contestant today.  Since she was a fairly plain, though strong and bright, girl outside of the twist she helped initiate, I won’t talk about her in too much detail until that section, but suffice to say, it’s an oft-debated move.

The one contestant of this season whose popularity I really don’t get is Parvati Shallow.  Well, scratch that, I DO get why, it’s for her strategic prowess on her later season, but this blog looks only at one’s performance on a given season, and here, Parvati wasn’t that big of a player.  Ok, she was good with the “flirt” card, but that was it, and I really don’t like one-note players.  Put simply, on this season, given that Probst pronounced her name “Poverty”, I feel that “Poverty Shallow” perfectly describes how she was this particular season.

One good thing that could be said for the cast of this season was that the bland, forgettable people were mostly gone early, leaving a good crop at the merge of this season.  Still, there are a couple of pre-merge boots who deserve mention.  The first is Billy Garcia, who managed to earn his fame (and a certain amount of derision from the fan base) by publicly declaring his love for Candice, a person who was on a DIFFERENT tribe from Billy, and with whom he had barely spoken.  Quite an embarrassing and unique scenario, particularly given that it happened early in the season.  Still, Billy has weathered it quite well, even poking fun at himself online, and I can’t help but like a guy like that.  The other standout, and my personal favorite of the season is Anh-Tuan “Cao Boi” Bui, an older Asian man known for being, well, crazy!  Still, unlike many he was a useful crazy, notably getting rid of dehydration headaches by some form of massage (the technique worked, but left a red fleck on the patient’s forehead, which for some reason people complained about), and doing some strange dance to help light a fire (which also, strangely, seemed to work).  Cao Boi is often forgotten due to the litany of crazy contestants the show has had, particularly in recent years, but he has a special place in my heart as an endearing kind of crazy, and I still maintain that his tribe was unreasonable in dissing his methods for doing things, given that they worked, and the side effects were minimal.  Admittedly, the off-color race jokes (particularly sensitive given the early theme of the season, which will be discussed in the “Twists” section) were somewhat of a detriment, but still, I can’t help but like the guy.

That, sadly, is where the good parts of the cast of this season end.  While there are a fair number of good characters here, as well as a couple of amazing ones, on a season with 20 people, when more than half of your cast is unmemorable, something’s wrong.  I should say that this wasn’t a TERRIBLE cast by any stretch, these people weren’t bad or unlikeable, they were just unmemorable.  The presence of some really good characters is helpful to the season, there just needed to be a few more to REALLY make the cast as a whole great.

Score: 6 out of 10.

 

CHALLENGES

I’ll state outright that this season was a definite improvement over “Survivor Exile Island”, but as you may remember from my last blog, this is hardly an achievement.  Cook Islands is difficult to rate in this respect, as it’s a strange mix of awesome and unique challenges, and generic and “blah” challenges.  Sadly, this season once again trends more towards the “blah” side of things, particularly post-merge, which was rife with stock challenges with nothing new added (save for the obstacle course in the final episode, which had a killer puzzle to make up for it, and the reward auction, which is always fun).  A lot of the pre-merge challenges are also somewhat unmemorable, and even there, we get a few stock challenges (running around the oval with sandbags returns from “Survivor Palau”).  Still, when this season wanted to go epic, it could go epic.  It gave us a lot of new, interesting puzzles, a couple of rather unique obstacle courses, and a few new, clever challenges, such as the “Jump in the air and smash a tile” challenge, or the “Assemble a pole and carry tribemates across the water” challenge, both of which have been reused repeatedly, and deservedly so.  I’ll also give the challenges credit, even if they weren’t the MOST memorable that the show has ever produced, the look and scale of them does stand out in my mind, and I always recall feeling excited by them, so I really can’t bring it upon myself to hate them too much, even if there is a serious downgrade at the merge.

Score: 7 out of 10

 

TWISTS

Now this, for me, is where the season really starts to shine, and it did know how to stir up publicity, with the aforementioned controversy:  Yes, this season divided the 20 castaways (a first since “Survivor Palau”, and the first season to have this many contestants and only eliminate one in the first episode) by virtue of their race.  There was a tribe of Caucasians (Rarotonga, or “Raro”), a tribe of Hispanics (Aitutaki, or “Aitu”), a tribe of African-Americans (Manihiki, or “Hiki”), and a tribe of Asian-Americans (Pukapuka, or “Puka”), at least initially.  This caused a storm of controversy over the perceived “racism” of “Survivor”, particularly given the fact that many long-time sponsors of the show withdrew around the same time as the announcement (though as far as I can tell, no sponsor withdrew specifically because of the twist, it was just a coincidence).  Personally, it didn’t bother me in the least.  When the tribes were divided by gender, they were essentially doing the same thing, yet nobody claimed that “Survivor” was sexist then, so I didn’t get my knickers in a twist.  Although we like to deny it, there are many stereotypes that  go along with race, and like it or not, unconsciously, a lot of us buy in to those.  It doesn’t mean that everyone is racist, by any standards, it’s just a natural categorization that people unconsciously engage in.  Rather than deny it, we should accept it, and try to move beyond it.  Also, even if my psychology studies are wrong, and such thinking is abnormal, ignoring that people have thought like that is unconscionable.  Additionally, it just a game, not racial commentary, and this is just another way to change up the game, certainly a new one.  It also had the side benefit of getting more minorities on the show.  Although minorities had been growing in population, “Survivor” was still very much a “white” show, with the majority of all contestants being white, and only two minority winners (Vecepia Towry of “Survivor Marquesas”, and Sandra Diaz-Twine of “Survivor Pearl Islands”).  As such, if it added diversity to the cast, I’m all for it.

The show, possibly believing that the race card was enough controversy to begin with, gave us standard starting twists, with the “salvage the boat” twist, as well as the return of Exile Island.  Both came off very well, with Exile Island getting a few change-ups (that will be addressed as they come), but still with enough familiarity to keep the audience happy.  As for the salvaging twist, this was made funny by Penner of Raro grabbing Puka’s chickens, partly by accident.  It gave a good, fast-paced start to the season.

The first Exile Island change came when, following the first immunity challenge, the losing tribe (Hiki) were allowed to send someone from one of the losing tribes to Exile Island (ultimately it was Penner, due to admitting that he stole the chickens earlier).  Also, as 3 tribes won immunity, stakes were added by the tribe coming in first getting a full fire starting kit, while the others only got basic flint and steel.

Episode 2 passed with little fanfare, but Episode 3 gave us one of the few twist missteps, by using the egg method (which I have dissed enough in my regular blogs to not want to do here) to mix up the tribes.  I understand that it had to happen, but I’d have kept the tribes divided for at least an episode or two longer, just to keep things interesting.  It also further deflated the racist argument.

A few more episodes keep the status quo, but with the occasional surprise, such as Cao Boi, Ozzy, and Jessica “Flicka” Smith of Aitu coming across Raro’s camp unexpectedly while exploring the outlying islands for more coconuts.  No, the next big twist came with the “double elimination” challenge (which was an awesome knock-down, drag-out brawl, by the way).  It started off much like the one in “Survivor Palau”: winning tribe gets a feast at Tribal Council, while listening in on the opposing tribe’s tribal council, and, as an added bonus, get to give one member of the other tribe immunity.  This one essentially worked the same way, except that instead of a straight-up immunity, the winning tribe got to kidnap a member of the losing tribe, thus sparing them Tribal Council.  Another good twist: keeping things familiar, but not identical.  Aitu ultimately kidnapped Nate Gonzalez, supposedly for his strength, although they then sat him out of the next challenge before returning him to his tribe.  It should also be noted that this was the episode that formulated the “split the vote to flush out the idol” plan, which was formulated, funnily enough, by my man Cao Boi under the guise of “Plan Voodoo”, which only failed because Yul, the person who ACTUALLY had the idol, was afraid of the plan (it might reveal his idol by its absence), and he was tired of Cao Boi’s antics.  Still, nice, different ways to keep the game going.

Another blah episode led to probably the greatest twist of the season, as well as what made Candice famous: the tribe mutiny.  In short, before a reward challenge, all contestants were offered a chance to mutiny to the other tribe, simply by stepping off their mat.  Now, to be fair, this is not an entirely original twist, the same deal was offered on “Survivor Thailand”.  What makes this one better is that two people actually took it: Candice (her one spectacular move in the game, made because all her old allies were on the other tribe) and Jonathan (because he was allied with Candice), who flipped back to Raro, leaving Raro with an 8-4 advantage.  What, you ask, did this twist do right?  What DIDN’T it do right?  It was something we’d never seen before, a social suicide move that somehow managed to work out (both Jonathan and Candice were spared until the merge), it gave us underdogs, it leant the season a unique flavor, it was just about the perfect “Survivor” twist.

But what’s more, the twists kept on coming.  Owing to the large number of contestants, another double elimination was needed, but of course, “Survivor” couldn’t just do a straight up one.  Instead, it sent the losing tribe in the next episode to Tribal Council with a sealed bottle, that when opened, turned out to contain a note instructing the tribe to vote out one more person.  Unfair?  A little bit, but this is “Survivor”, and it was a totally awesome and unexpected twist.

So now the merge happens, fairly late, but the score is an even 5-4, advantage to Raro.  Raro is fairly united, and it looks as though Aitu will be taken out.  But then, in a masterful bit of strategy by Yul, he convinces Penner to flip AGAIN (part of why both Yul and Penner are remembered so well) to vote out Nate, and give the old Aitu the advantage.  But even THAT’S not the last flip vote!  No, after pleading from Adam and Parvati to Yul, Penner is voted out earlier than he supposed, due to being untrustworthy, and a way for Yul to grow favor on the jury (which he would need, he won by a single vote against Ozzy).

While the player twists kept on coming, the producer twists were not far behind.  With the reward auction, they introduced the excellent “Send someone to Exile Island and take their money” twist, which was again unexpected, but changed things up in a strangely familiar way.  Sadly, this would be the last GOOD producer twist, as the final twist of the season is the only other misstep, that being the final 3 instead of a final 2.

Now, I understand the necessity of catching up in eliminations when you have more than 16 contestants, but really, a final 3 just sits with me wrong.  It was really nice to see, given the unity of Aitu (plus the hilarious tiebreaker fire-making challenge at the final 4 between Sundra Oakley and Becky Lee), but it just doesn’t feel like “Survivor”.  It’s the last chance for an individual to control their fate in the game, and yet you’re still letting it come down to a group decision?  That just seems wrong, somehow.  Furthermore, while many claim that it cuts down on people taking someone others can’t stand to the finals, and so an “undeserving” person wins, I would point out that with the exception of 2 times, a final 3 has resulted in at least one person getting 0 votes.  It doesn’t work, it feels un-“Survivor”, it just doesn’t sit right with me.

Still, you have to give the season credit for the other great twists, and this is probably the season I object to the least in terms of the final 3.

Score: 9 out of 10.

 

OVERALL

The best way to describe Cook Islands is that it’s something of a Jack-of-All-Trades, in that while it does nothing perfect, it has some strong elements in all categories.  This would speak well, except that, as a friend of mine once pointed out “A jack-of-all-trades means you’re a master of none”.  Except for maybe the twists, this one really didn’t stick out very much, and that hurts it.  On the plus side, much like “Survivor Palau”, this season is Generic South Pacific Island done right.  It had a nautical theme, which leant the season a unique style (plus a spectacular Tribal Council), and complimented the season’s strong points well.

Score: 29 out of 40.

 

ABSTRACT

“Survivor Cook Islands” is a tough nut to crack.  It’s a very strategic, very controversial season that can start off a bit slow, but picks up later.  Not absolutely essential, but very entertaining if given the chance, and definitely worth a watch should you have some free time on your hands.