Let me take you back, at the beginning of this blog, to another time. A time specifically one year ago. A simpler time. A time when “entertainment” meant slack-jawed yokels mispronounced foreign words for your amusement. A time when the audience was blindsided along with the cast. A time when we had to wait several episodes to get a competent strategist to root for. Yes, it’s the oh so “Meh, it was ok, I guess”-ed season known as “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. History repeats itself here, in almost exactly the same episode, but for once I’m not going to rage and storm about it like I did then. Does this show incredible bias and favoritism on my part? Yes. But I’m on the internet, so what do you expect?
Before we hop into our TARDIS and begin our voyage through history in the present day, it’s time for another edition of…
MATT’S MESS-UP!
Two in a row! Truly, we are setting a great trend for this part of the season! Through all of my “Kass is Gone” tears, I completely forgot to talk about the individual immunity idol this season, which is a real shame, because it is premium-grade, heavy-metal AWESOME! While it could be argued that it’s similar to a few other individual immunity idols (the one from “Survivor Nicaragua” springs to mind), this one manages to be unique in a good way. We’ve never really seen red as a primary color in an individual immunity idol, and it plays really well with the gold bits to give it a distinctive look that feels “idol-ish” if that makes any sense. Bottom line, you BELIEVE that this idol really grants someone immunity, and that kick-ass look makes it a nice addition to the season.
Entering the episode proper, now, I’ll admit I was worried about the probable Kass-bashing that was going to happen, presumably courtesy of Tasha and maybe Savage. While I’m sure it still happened, we are fortunately spared that unpleasantness, and instead go to Savage and Jeremy congratulating each other on an alliance well-brought-together, which admittedly they’ve earned. I’m unhappy with the outcome, of course, but to get a majority in this large a tribe, and in fact a plurality? They deserve much praise. In particular, I’d say Savage deserves props for bringing everything together, as he seems to be the binding agent for the alliance. Take careful note of this praise, Savage, you’re going to be getting very little of it tonight.
The two then discuss who they want to get out next, and agree that the “three girls”, being Ciera, Abi-Maria, and Kelley need to go next, presumably in that order. I’d normally be against voting out unthreatening swing votes at this phase of the game, but for this pair, I’d say it actually makes a lot of sense. I’ll be talking about this in a bit more detail later, but for people who could be considered physical threats like Savage or Jeremy, a “Bro-Down” is actually a pretty good move. Plus, since those women are on the bottom, they’re likely going to stir up trouble.
Sure enough, the women (or at least Ciera) are at the center of oncoming trouble, though they may not be the cause. No, after lying dormant for an episode, Stephen’s Protestant Reformation against St. Joe continues, as he talks to Ciera about the possibility of voting Joe out. And, like for Jeremy and Savage, what Stephen is saying makes sense for him. He’s weaseled his way into the Bro-Down somewhat, but he’s still probably low man on the totem pole there, particularly given Savage’s earlier crusade against him. True, I’d argue it’s a bit early, since betraying an alliance now means more people on the jury who hate your guts, but Stephen’s correct in that, if he wants to win this time around, he needs to correct his mistakes last time around of not being seen as enough of a mover and shaker and going to the end with an alpha male. Since I’m rooting for Stephen at this point (even if the edit indicates that he has no chance at all of winning this time around), I gladly accept this turn of events.
Today’s reward challenge involves two teams of six rowing out in a criss-cross pattern to pick up colored crates, which they must then bring to shore and stack so that no color repeats on any side to win a trip to a cafe. While the puzzle hails from “Survivor Samoa” originally, the crate-pulling and criss-cross rowing comes courtesy of “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. Naturally, since Ciera was on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, and her tribe lost that challenge, we chalk this up as a second chance for… KELLY! It’s just so logical, right? I mean, how ELSE are we going to get her any screen-time? In all seriousness, while the call-back to her being beaten by Gervase on “Survivor Borneo” was hilarious, I personally feel like it was a little bit forced. It’s common knowledge by now that Kelly wasn’t at all interested in giving the producers good sound-bytes, or really playing anything resembling an interesting game, and so she’s been getting the shaft. I also understand that, as the player from arguably the most popular season of “Survivor” ever, you’d want to play her up as much as possible. But when you just sort of haphazardly shove her in there, it just feels forced. Mostly because it is. The only similarity the challenges have is that they involve rowing. A better connection than some, but kind of flimsy, in my opinion.
As to the challenge itself, it’s pretty good. A bit basic, and we once again have a team challenge post-merge, but it’s definitely a tough one, has a good balance of physical and mental components, it makes for an ok competition. It helps a lot that the teams are pretty even at this point. The purple team has Kelley, Kelly, Ciera, Kimmi, Joe, and Keith, while the green team has Stephen, Jeremy, Savage, Spencer, Abi-Maria, and Tasha. All have their physical strength and their dead weight, and all have their puzzle-solvers. Plus, this is the sort of challenge where come-from-behind victories are easier, due to the puzzle. It seems like we’ll get that, when green falls behind due to paddling trouble. Then, however, Stephen FINALLY steps up and does a puzzle, calling the shots and sending green team to the mat first. Then you remember that this is “Survivor Cambodia”, where Stephen seemingly cannot do anything right, and so he has the puzzle wrong, meaning purple team wins anyway. Probst plays up Kelly’s supposed “redemption”, and Stephen curses the fact that the main people he wanted to swing to his Protestant Reformation are all off on reward, while he’s stuck at camp.
Also, I quickly wan to bring up here that Probst, in hyperbolically describing the reward, says the winners will “Overdose on caffeine”. Um, Probst? You do know that can kill you, right? Not a good thing to say there, man.
We get our requisite “This reward is so awesome” sound-bytes from Kelley and Kimmi this time around, Kimmi in particular complaining about getting no food rewards from her season. Actually, Kimmi, as I recall, your tribe DID get food rewards. It’s just that said rewards were chickens, and you’re a vegetarian.
The cheery atmosphere doesn’t last long, as talk quickly turns to strategy. Ciera apologizes to everyone there for potentially implying that they weren’t playing at the last Tribal Council, diplomatically stating that she was merely trying to say that they should make a move while they still have the numbers, avoiding her mistake on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. Of all people to chime in that they agree with her philosophy, it’s St. Joe, which strikes me as very odd. You see, I’m normally in favor of people questioning the status quo, but of all people present, St. Joe has the LEAST reason to question the Bro-Down. For St. Joe, as well as for the other strong alpha-males, a Bro-Down is really their best chance at survival. It’s been established for a while now that alpha males become the targets post-merge, if not sooner. The trouble for the alpha male is that, barring that they’re really charming (see J.T. of “Survivor Tocantins”) or the people around them are idiots (see Tom Westman of “Survivor Palau”), they’re too obvious a target, and there’s no incentive for them to be kept around. With a Bro-Down, however, there is a SLIGHT incentive to be kept around. There’s always going to be a “Top alpha male”, like St. Joe is in this scenario, who’s a target above the rest, but each alpha male beneath him knows that if he’s gotten rid of, the target moves to THEIR back potentially. Thus, a Bro-Down is a form of mutually-assured destruction. Every alpha knows that taking out another alpha only increases the target on their back, and thus they don’t do it. Does it make for boring, predictable tv? Sure. But it’s smart.
But enough with the engaging strategy talk, let’s all watch Keith mispronounce foreign words, and generally be stupid and ignorant! Seriously, this isn’t as bad as some other times I’ve seen him, with Keith simply riding the Tau-Tau used to bring them to the cafe, and calling it a “Toto”, but I don’t see what’s funny about this. Stupid people aren’t funny. They’re just stupid.
We head back on over to Orkun, following a shot of their frankly BEAUTIFUL tribe flag, where Stephen is still upset. Trying to have another breakdown moment like he had two episodes ago, he talks to those remaining about how he partially lost his last game due to not going on a reward, specifically the river rafting reward that J.T., Brendan, and Debbie went on. Stephen does have something of a legitimate point here (after all, this is the reward where Brendan declared “J.T. winning this game is like me winning this game.”), it just comes off as a bit flat to me, particularly compared to Stephen’s other breakdown, which was bigger and much more heartfelt. And of course, Abi-Maria brings her usual charm to this scene by telling Stephen to just “Get over it.”
Not wanting to waste an opportunity, Stephen decides to talk with some people about his Protestant Reformation plan. While most of the people he wanted to bond with are off on reward, there are still a few people at camp Stephen can talk to. He starts off by making his pitch to Spencer. Pretty good choice. Spencer admitted himself last episode that he was something of a free agent this time around, and he seems receptive. Next, Stephen talks to Jeremy about the idea. Ok, a bit riskier, since Jeremy wants to use Joe as a shield, and is just generally close with Joe, but Jeremy seems to be on board, admitting that Joe needs to go at some point. Then Stephen talks to… Tasha? Ok, what’s your deal here, Stephen? The other two were at least semi-logical, but Tasha’s in tight with Joe. Why would you think she’d be at all into your plan?
It is this chat that does Stephen in, but not due to Tasha spilling the beans, but rather due to the stealth skills of Savage. Savage overhears their conversation, and immediately returns to his anti-Stephen plans, basically calling Stephen a deceptive scumbag, and saying that he has no time for liars in this game. I’m REALLY starting to question whether Savage knew what he was getting into when he applied for “Survivor”. You don’t like liars, Savage? On “Survivor”? Have you ever SEEN the show? I’m really not sure, at this point.
And here’s where we get into why Savage rubs me the wrong way. The man expects people to play the game in a “fair” way, or rather a way that gives him an easy victory, and then gets mad when they act in their own self-interest, which is a PART OF THE GAME I might add. Worse then that, when someone even TALKS about voting apart from him, he goes on an all-out character assassination of that person. You DARE to go against the great Andrew Savage? You, my foe, are the scum of the earth! I sort of have a similar problem with Tasha, since she seems to get mad when people don’t do thing exactly like she wants them to, but Tasha at least keeps the personal attacks to a minimum (that we see on screen). Savage, on the other hand? He insults people for playing the game of “Survivor”, a game he purports to respect. Get a life Savage. And, while you’re at it, get over yourself.
Following the reward, Savage continues his anti-Stephen plans, informing St. Joe of the forming Protestant Reformation. Joe is naturally worried about this, since people are coming after him sooner than expected, but that has to wait as we head to our immunity challenge. Coming courtesy of “Survivor San Juan del Sur” (told you we’d be seeing weird parallels before too long), this challenge has people balancing a ball on a disk that is suspended between two ropes. Last person with a ball left on the disk wins. I wasn’t a fan of it then, and I’m not a fan of it now. It’s another boring ball-and-disk endurance challenge, and not even a tough one. Where other endurance challenges go out of their way to make things uncomfortable, this is just standing there, keeping tension on ropes. Not remotely exciting, and not a good challenge.
To this challenge’s credit, though, it does have some fun moments. Props must be given to Kimmi for a number of spectacular saves she has, before falling out in the second phase. Also, when Savage drops out, he shows himself to be the epitome of maturity by giving the ball the finger. Keith won this challenge when it was last played, and appropriately enough it comes down to a battle between himself and challenge wizard St. Joe. In the end, even Keith cannot overcome the will of the lord, and St. Joe makes himself immune once again. And now I quake in my pants, since the only other target we’re presented with is Stephen, and his going after Kass would be a 1-2 punch for me. Similar to “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, when Josh and Jeremy left one right after the other. Granted, this season has other people I actually like, unlike “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, but it would still hurt.
Back at camp, Joe sets the “Vote out Stephen” plan into full swing, even informing Kelley (who by extension informs Abi-Maria and Ciera) that the plan is to go against Stephen tonight. Naturally, the women just accept this gracefully, since it means they aren’t going tonight. To seal the deal, Savage gathers his minions around him, and discusses with them the possibility of getting Stephen out. It seems, though, that Stephen is not as much of a goober as this season has led us to believe, as both Spencer and Jeremy come to Stephen’s defense, saying that he’s just talking, and that the women are bigger threats right now. To his credit, Savage says that while he doesn’t trust Stephen, he’ll go with the group consensus, which seems to be get rid of one of the women, presumably Ciera. Joe goes back and informs said women, and Kelley starts talking about potentially playing her idol, though I don’t see why. Granted, I’m not privy to everything that goes on out there, but due to how the vote was split last time, I’d say Ciera is more likely to go before you. Still, just to be safe, the three agree to vote together, debating whether to go for Stephen or Savage. This is really a no-brainer. You go for Savage. Stephen doesn’t have nearly as much stock with everyone else, and is much less of a threat overall. Plus, no Savage might send the dominant alliance into chaos. It’s not going to happen, though. Savage hasn’t had NEARLY enough screen time to merit getting voted for, and while there’s been some decent misdirection, it feels like Stephen is still the way to go.
A predictable vote doesn’t mean a boring Tribal Council, though! Getting rid of all pretense this time around, Kelley and Ciera throw out who the top four are (Savage, Jeremy, Tasha, and either Stephen or Joe), and rightly point out that that solid four leaves five other people on the bottom, who therefore have a reason to vote one of them out. Not to say that there aren’t good counters to this. Joe has a line about perception being reality on “Survivor”, which is apt, and Stephen points out that the frequency of tribe swaps this season, coupled with relationships from other seasons, means that the dynamics are different. All that said, though, their point is still valid. Regardless of how crazy the bonds are this season, there’s still going to be a top three or four or whatever number you choose. That needs to be broken for anyone else to win. Add to this a lot of eye-rolling, snarking, and a flipping of the bird from Kass (hopefully a tribute to her actions on “Survivor Cagayan” and not actually a mean-spirited gesture), and you’ve got a pretty great Tribal Council. Doesn’t quite match the enjoyment of the Jeff Varner Tribal Council, but it’s up there.
So we got to vote, and Kelley plays her idol. Well, that was somewhat unexpected. While it was brought up this episode, it wasn’t something that was emphasized, like idols usually are. I get it, though. You want to hide an idol play to make it all the more surprising for the audience, and the inevitable Stephen boot implied that such a thing might happen. Also, it’s good that Kelley did that because, well, everyone voted for her. Not Abi-Maria or Ciera, of course, but everyone else.
Now we get the departure of… SAVAGE? Don’t get me wrong, I’m ecstatic, but much like the Jeremy boot on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, it feels a bit out of left field. Savage’s name came up once, and most of the episode was the Stephen-Joe-Three Women show. Unlike Jeremy’s boot, however, I’m more ok with the Savage boot being kept in the dark for the audience for a few reasons. First off, while Jeremy’s boot was due to organizing an alliance we didn’t see, Savage’s boot was due to an idol play. This means foreshadowing has to be limited somewhat, to keep the idol play a secret, and also that we didn’t miss out on vital strategy conversations. The other reason is that, where Jeremy was the one bastion of strategy left of “Survivor San Juan del Sur” when he was evicted, here there are other people to like, and Savage was a pretty poor player.
In case you can’t tell, I’m not sorry at all to see Savage go. He pretty well deserved it, in my mind. Apart form my problems with his philosophy towards playing the game, he really wasn’t playing it well for me. For your second chance, you have to be willing to change up SOMETHING about your game to make sure you can win. Savage really didn’t. You look at “Survivor Pearl Islands” and he played pretty much exactly the same game, only there he was an underdog and so more sympathetic. Plus, maybe this eviction will take his ego down a few notches and show him that being the overt leader is NOT a good way to win “Survivor”, nor that he in any way “deserves” it.
And how does Savage go out? The classiest way possible, of course! He gives everyone the finger. Not since Jonny Fairplay (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) have we had so many middle fingers shown in an episode.
Definitely an exciting last third, but sad to say this breaks the streak of good episodes. Not that this one was awful, but at best, I can only call it “ok”. the trouble is that when you pack all the best stuff into the last third of the episode, the first two thirds just feels wasted, devoted more to Keith being his usual “charming” self and similar matters rather than anything of substance.
Exciting finish, but the beginning needs work. Perhaps next week can do better.
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 
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