It occurs to me that, in the Venn Diagram of “‘Survivor’ Fans” and “Show Tunes Fans”, the middle consists exclusively of myself and Wanda Shirk (“Survivor Palau”). As such, an explanation of the title of this blog is in order. The phrase “Hasa Diga Eebowai” comes from the musical “The Book of Mormon”, and is basically the anti-“Hakuna Matata”. Rather than being a carefree song about leaving one’s worries behind, “Hasa Diga Eebowai”, in the made-up language for the show, translates as “Fuck You God”. Without spoiling the boot, this should give you an idea of how I feel about how this episode went down. Speaking of which, let’s talk about that.
Our “Previously On…” segment is worth mentioning, as it clarifies something that was not made clear last episode: Did Mike playing the idol “Reverse the Curse”? Normally, the logical answer would be “Of course not! Idols need to be SUCCESSFULLY played to un-curse them.” However, I feel like James’ idol might be an exception, since his wasn’t a MISPLAYED idol, but an UN-PLAYED idol. Successful or not, the idol fulfilled it’s intended usage, as far as being played goes. However, the show takes the side of logic, and Mike got nailed by the “curse” once again.
Speaking of which, let’s take a moment to appreciate the sweet spot the marketing team is in by making the requirements to “Reverse the Curse” so steep. If someone succeeds in playing an idol this season, great! You’ve got a killer tv moment, and that person earns the accolades associated with “Reversing the Curse”. If they don’t? You build up the “cursed” myth more and more, thus whipping people into more of a frenzy for when it DOES happen. There’s a no-lose situation for you.
Mike, of course, is the man of the hour for his grandstanding at Tribal Council, and not undeservedly so. Despite his lie not working in the end, Mike still made a pretty brilliant game move there. Of course, he also shot himself in the foot by revealing the voting target, but credit where credit is due nonetheless. And yes, I’ve seen the argument that with the numbers being so close, it was to the advantage of Mike and co. to reveal their target, but I maintain that mystery causes chaos, which causes someone to slip up, which then gives Mike and co. an opening to strategize.
Regardless, the point is that Mike is no longer considered just a strong guy from the original Malolo, but now also a strategic threat. As if it wasn’t bad enough that the original Naviti had realized this, now that the old Malolo have little recourse but to proverbially eat each other, they now vie to throw Mike under the bus. Yes, even Stephanie and Jenna get in on the game of “Praise Mike”, and you can tell from the look on his face that Mike is not pleased with this development.
But Mike’s not the only one dealing with fallout from the previous Tribal Council. Bradley was one vote away from going home, and unsurprisingly this is a wake-up call for him. Hmm, Bradley. Perhaps there’s a chance for you to redeem yourself yet. Take from this that you need to stop complaining so much and open up a bit more, and there may be hope for you yet!
Or, you know. You could take the lesson that your allies are loyal and you can keep doing what you’re doing. I mean, that’s not the WORST lesson you could take from the vote, but if your social game is so bad that the minority will vote you out of spite, I think that means it’s time to brush off the old social skills.
CHALLENGE TIME! And surprisingly, despite some reused elements, I’m a big fan of this reward challenge. In a variation on your average obstacle course, the tribes jump over a series of three tables. Once this is done, two members work to remove sandbags from around a lever. Pulling this lever drops a bunch of beanbags (and a few coconuts, as this is still “Survivor”), which must be put in a basket. Then, these beanbags must be thrown at three wind-vane type contraptions to spin them to raise three flags. First tribe with three flags wins coffee and pastries, as well as forcing the losing tribe to draw rocks for Ghost Island. And yes, this challenge draws from other season’s challenges, in particular “Survivor Tocantins” (throwing stuff to reveal flags) and “Survivor South Pacific” (sorting out stuff that gets dropped), but there’s just a cool factor to it. The spinny vane things are a neat touch, and I like the idea of needing to reveal a lever rather than just chopping a rope or something to drop the bags.
Unfortunately, this challenge is purely physical, meaning that Naviti has a guaranteed victory here. This means we can devote time to more important things, namely emphasizing how much of a jerk Chris can be sometimes. Now, cheering on your tribe at a challenge is a time-honored tradition, and can even give the competitors a psychological boost. However, telling people about proper LIFTING TECHNIQUE during a challenge seems to have the opposite effect. Yet, as Naviti falls behind at the sandbag portion the challenge (largely due to putting James, sucker of all talent, on this portion), this is exactly what Chris does. And this isn’t just some background event only I would notice. The editors go out of their way to show us Chris doing this. Thankfully, Chris is able to redeem himself slightly by being a complete boss on the vane portion of the challenge. It’s literally no contest. He gets all three flags up before Sebastian on the other side can even get a spin. That’s pretty cool, only soured slightly by Chris attempting to “rap” after the challenge. The fan community tells us that Chris is a really good rapper behind the scenes, but if this is his “talent”, the dude needs work. Maybe it’s just his description of himself as a “Diamond in the Rough” that bothers me. Words mean something. “Diamond in the Rough” usually refers to a talented person who does not appear talented. Libby is a diamond in the rough. Laurel is a diamond in the rough. Stephanie is a diamond in the rough. Chris, a man built like a Greek God, is not a diamond in the rough.
Speaking of Stephanie, she draws the white rock, and gets sent to Ghost Island as a result. Once again, we’re presented with a win-win situation, in this case relating to what Ghost Island may or may not give her. There’s room for intriguing strategy on both sides of the island this time, so the extra time devoted to that rather than Ghost Island antics would be nice. On the other hand, Stephanie is someone who could really use an advantage, which could make things more interesting should Malolo return to Tribal Council. Plus, unlike Kellyn, Stephanie really has no reason NOT to go for it. After all, she’s on the outs anyway. Who CARES if she doesn’t vote? An advantage could really help her out though.
Stephanie, however, does not see her stay on Ghost Island as a potential blessing, citing time away from the tribe dynamics as being a problem. Somewhat logical, but I’d argue that the allure of an advantage outweighs that. Plus, how much good would that extra 24 hours of socializing do? Not that being separated from the tribe is inherently a GOOD thing, but it could be worse. Sadly for Stephanie, she is denied an opportunity to play for an advantage, so instead we get to hear about her leaving her Mormon Church and divorcing her husband, and how that’s changed her. A nice enough scene, but we don’t need to know that Stephanie is one tough cookie. Her actions in this game have already done a better job of that. The best that can be said of this scene is that it gives me an excuse to use a song from “The Book of Mormon” (the musical) as the title.
As an aside, I’ve seen a number of people hating on this season in principle just because it gives the producers an excuse to throw even more twists into a game that many believe gets a bit over-inundated with twists anyway. I’m certainly on board with the idea that the producers can get a bit twist-happy, especially when it just upsets the status quo before the status can even become quo. That said, I’m optimistic that given the producers can and do show restraint, and this is an example of that. At this point, there have been fewer opportunities to get an advantage than an urn of nothing, showing that the producers aren’t just throwing in advantages willy-nilly. And you KNOW they wanted to give Stephanie a chance. An upset of the majority alliance, and a great character in Stephanie gaining more power. The producers would like nothing more than to give Stephanie an advantage. And yet they didn’t. I respect them for that.
The above paragraph can also be used as evidence that the show isn’t fake, but I’ve ranted about that already this season, so I’ll just let it lie.
Speaking of things fake, Naviti celebrates and shows off their bamboo coffee maker, which is only slightly more subtle than the stump with a plug in it from “Survivor Vanuatu”. Chris once again shows his softer side by building up the team after their victory. It’s a nice little scene, punctuated by an even nicer moment. Donathan goes off and is comforted by Laurel, due to feeling homesick. Evidently both Donathan’s mother and grandmother are coffee lovers, and as Donathan is close with both of them, he’s having a difficult time. But Laurel is not Donathan’s only comforter. Chris, though blind to his own shortcomings, is at least somewhat aware of the emotions of others. He comforts Donathan, shares his own mother’s health struggles, and the pair bond over the shared experience. Donathan admits that this makes his like Chris more, making his struggle between him, Wendell, and Domenick hard. Wow. A very sweet emotional moment that ties into the strategic and social game of all involved. What a great moment of television. What moment on Malolo could possibly top this?
None, evidently, as we’re onto our immunity challenge less than halfway through the episode. And while I would be saying that this challenge was a shoe-in for a Malolo victory, as it involves a puzzle, we know for a fact that Malolo loses. How is this? Well, if you recall last week’s “Next Time On…” preview, you’ll recall that they showed a scene of Jenna and Sebastian flirting on Malolo. Guess what scene we haven’t seen yet? And unless Malolo is as stupid as their namesake (Manono of “Survivor One World”), they’re not getting a scene post-challenge unless they lose. This was actually a mistake made last episode as well, as Stephanie’s “Hope” scene hadn’t been shown prior to the challenge, and since I forgot about it, it’s possible it could happen again here. However, it’s still a mistake to do once. Doing it twice? It’s just asking for people to call you out, and ruin the tension as I’m doing here. For as good as the editing was last episode, it made a number of gaffes this episode, this one chief among them. Come on, editors. You’ve got better game than this.
The challenge is at least semi-exciting, even if it is a repeat. Both tribes race parallel over a balance course to retrieve one of three numbers. Using a giant winch, the other tribe members pull this person back on a boogie board, with the next person following behind. Once all the numbers are retrieved, they open a lock to begin a slide puzzle spelling “Ghost Island”, and winning immunity. This is basically a “Survivor Micronesia” challenge with a puzzle tacked on, but one of the cooler “Survivor Micronesia” challenges. Plus, I like the puzzle. We’ve seen slide puzzles before, but never one that spells out something, that’s pretty neat. It also allows for a nice trick, where Malolo LOOKS to be ahead, but Naviti still wins. Though again, this trick would have worked better if we didn’t KNOW THE OUTCOME BEFORE THE END OF THE CHALLENGE! SERIOUSLY, HOW DID YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE IN A ROW?
Unfortunately for the editors, they need their A-game now, and I’m just not sure they’ve got it tonight. Like last episode, we have a clear, solid majority with basically no pretense about anyone other than an original Malolo going, despite original Naviti being the challenge sinks this time (Chelsea floundering, both figuratively and literally, on the balance portion, and Kellyn and Bradley blowing the puzzle). I mean, at least last episode had an idol that could have mucked things up. Here, there’s really no way to create an upset. Thus, we fall back to the old standby: Which of the minority will be kicked off? To be fair, we do get an interesting look into how all three play their cards best to stay. Jenna, being less of a strategist than the other two, decides to play the flirt card with simple-minded Sebastian, braiding his hair and making nice-nice with him. Pretty low key, and not bad, especially as it makes her come off as less of a threat than the other two. Gritting their teeth (doubtless to prevent from throwing up), Stephanie and Mike both kiss up to Bradley, promising loyalty should he let them stay. It’s disingenuous from both of them, though I’d argue Stephanie makes it look more convincing than Mike.
Fortunately for the edit, even Naviti has trouble making up their mind. Jenna is quickly thrown out as an option, but Stephanie and Mike are both big threats, and so the debate comes down to them. Mike is the more obvious threat, due to both his physical and strategic nature, but Stephanie is a more subtle schemer. The debate goes back and forth, with no clear winner. Desi even gets the bright idea to check through Stephanie’s bag for an advantage, finding nothing. Unfortunately for Stephanie, an absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, and so the prospect of an advantage is still out there.
The good news about Tribal Council is that I don’t know who specifically is going home. The bad news is, I know it won’t be exciting. It’s another case of the majority predictably voting out the minority, with not even good Tribal Council banter to make it interesting. The best I can say is that both Stephanie and Mike get tearful confessionals, both before and at Tribal Council, about not wanting to leave the game, thus keeping things at least semi-mysterious.
In the end, the axe falls on Stephanie, and I am PISSED! A lot of the characters who’ve left so far this season had potential, but Stephanie was maybe the one who surpassed all expectations. She proved to be a mover and shaker early on, and really seemed to be the one calling the shots. And then robbed of doing exceptionally well, because of a tribe swap. I know, I know, it’s part of the game, but we’ve SEEN people show their true potential on returning. Look at Kelley Wentworth (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”). Screwed by a tribe swap, and never really did much to merit a return. Bring her back though, and she’s a force to be reckoned with. That, I feel, is what we’ve lost in Stephanie. All due respect to Mike. He’s a good, well-rounded character as well. But Stephanie, in my opinion, played it better, and it’s more intriguing to see an “older” (by “Survivor” standards) woman do well than a young, athletic guy, even if he is a decent liar.
That said, I can agree with Naviti for choosing her. Both she and Mike would have been good targets, but when push comes to shove, I probably would have advocated voting out Stephanie as well. Mike is more of a threat physically, but he’s also more obviously a threat period. It’s much easier to rally people against him than against Stephanie. Plus, Stephanie seemed to be the uniter of old Malolo, with Brendan exiting last episode. Getting rid of her sinks the old Malolo’s chances, far more than Mike’s exit would have. As a fan, though? Would much prefer to have seen Mike go. He’s just less interesting.
This episode is not very good. Easily the first misstep of the season. And yet, it is still not without redeeming value. While the editing was sloppy, the episode poorly paced, and the vote kind of dull, some things you just can’t help (the latter point being a perfect example). Plus, for all the negative, we did get a few real human moments that connect us to the cast, such as the Chris/Donathan moment. In other words, this episode is bad, but not irredeemably bad. Still, show, you’re wearing us thin on building up these plots with no payoff. Give us some next episode!
Oh? You’re switching tribes? Again? Yay…
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 
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