“Survivor” Medic!
Seriously, I’m having fainting spells, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last! I know I’m about to spoil the climax of the episode, but damn if I can’t blog without getting it off of my chest. I’ve praised the misdirection this season by and large, but tonight I thought I had it figured out. I was sure, despite my own personal biases, that Penner was gone, dead in the water, Skupin was his best chance, and Skupin wasn’t moving without Lisa. We get to Tribal Council, the 4th vote for Penner comes up, and I’m dead certain he’s gone. There’s no way Skupin and Lisa would move independently, so the only way it swings in Penner’s favor is a 6-3 vote for Artis. Then the last name comes up, I prepare my “Support Denise” banners, and all of a sudden, Artis comes up! You can’t see me now, but I have a huge grin in my face. If only to keep it longer, let us savor the sweet journey that was, in my opinion, the best episode of this season.
We start off with a lot of celebrating/complaining about Jeff Kent’s (damn, I thought I wouldn’t have to write that name again) departure. Of particular interest is why Penner voted for Abi-Maria instead of forcing a tie. Fan theory was that Penner had a diabolical scheme up his sleeve, which required splintering an alliance. My theory was that he had a grudge against Jeff Kent (will he never leave this blog?), and couldn’t stand keeping him in. The big reveal is that Penner was simply confused, and didn’t know there was a plan (despite his grandstanding at the previous Tribal Council). Wow, loss of points on the brilliance-ometer there Penner. Don’t worry, you’ll more than earn them back later in the episode.
Also of interest is Lisa, who took a moral bashing last episode, and previews show that she’ll continue to get one this episode. She tries to explain herself to everyone, and Tandang seems receptive (though Abi-Maria continues to dig her own grave), but still, Lisa questions her decision.
Following commercial, Christmas comes early as Penner’s foreshadowed work on Lisa begins. Seeming to have gotten over his case of pissed-off-itis from the night before, Penner admits that he still needs a plan in order to move forward. His plan is to continue his work on Lisa, but hard core now. He does this, not by strategizing, but by appealing to her emotions. Now, some of my more frequent readers know that I normally despise this form of manipulation, feeling that it is overall weaker and less effective (not to mention somewhat less scummy) than outright strategizing. Penner’s use of it I’m ok with for 2 reasons. The first is that he ADMITS that it’s a strategy, as it’s the best way to get to Lisa, whereas others who use this I believe go with it on the basis that it feels less scummy than the other method. The second is that, unlike others who appeal in vague noncommittal terms (or fake a birthday, John Cochran of “Survivor South Pacific”), Penner goes straight for the proverbial jugular, not attacking Lisa’s sense of righteousness, but her insecurities, and her insecurities from EARLY LIFE nonetheless! What’s more, he does it in the guise of friendly advice, claiming to be the first person who understood her. All this is sprinkled with hyperbolic praise. “Unprecedented move”, huh? Yes Penner, as a hard core strategist, you of all people know that a person uniting a disparate group of people to form a voting block has NEVER happened before! I know I should be appalled at Penner’s display, as most of his words a clearly not genuine, but damn it, I can’t help but be impressed with his read of people, and the overall convincing performance he gave!
Challenge? Oh, yeah, right, I suppose there was a reward challenge this episode. Do I really have to? Can’t I just rhapsodize about Penner some more?
In all seriousness, this challenge does deserve a decent amount of mention, both good and bad. For it, tribes are split into teams of two, who make their way through a muddy obstacle course one at a time, each collecting a bag of balls. Once everyone has made it through, teams unwrap their balls (12 in all), and try to get them down a small cone. The first team to get all 12 balls down the cone wins the right to take school supplies (though they mostly look like sports supplies to me) to a local Filipino school, and earns a feast from that school. This seems, at first, like your average obstacle course challenge of the type I rag on normally. However, there are two things that save this challenge from my disgust: mud and rice. Mud is a fun element of every “Survivor” challenge. It adds to the spills and the hilarity, it gets the castaways dirty, which is rather entertaining, and it just seems like adding insult to injury, if you’re into schadenfreud. But mud has been done before, it’s old hat, give us something new. Ok, how about rice? One leg of the challenge forces the castaways to dive through a trough of rice, which, of course, sticks to them and everything muddy. Even more than mud, this is insult to injury, and it lends this challenge a unique twist that I rather like. Top it all off with a good bit of strategy by Penner (which I’ll get to in a minute), and you have a decent, solid challenge.
Though really, does it HAVE to be a team challenge? Would it kill you to let a free-for-all happen, and force people to make choices about who to bring on reward?
Back to Penner (you’ll find that I do that a lot this blog), he finds himself on a team with Malcolm, Denise, and Carter, going up against Skupin, Lisa, Pete, and Artis, with Abi-Maria not picked (there’s a shock, I’m amazed Probst didn’t lampshade it) and therefore ineligible for reward. The teams are fairly evenly matched, with Penner’s team having a slight edge in my opinion, but Penner takes no chances. He loses time on his leg to search around in the mud for all 4 bags and bring them to the surface, thus saving time in the long run. It’s a good strategy, and helps his team to an admittedly quite narrow victory given the circumstances.
Penner’s team goes on reward, and as always they enjoy the food and hobnobbing with the locals, which at least one person must say is a “life changing experience”. Malcolm is this year’s winner in that department, at least. Not one to let a good situation go to waste, however, Penner takes time out to strategize with his fellow reward members, correctly pointing out that they’re on the bottom, and ought to stick together. The consensus is that Lisa and Skupin are the way to go, and things seem set up for a flip from Lisa.
Oddly enough, Tandang seems to agree with the plan, as they’re doing all that they can to convince Lisa to betray them. Well, at least Abi-Maria seems to be. Pete says that he hoped that this would be a bonding time for Tandang, a reaffirmation of their alliance, and return to the fold for those on the outside. Continually, Pete forgets that he’s aligned with Abi-Maria, who proceeds to badmouth Lisa for her perceived “gullibility”. Even Artis admits this is a bad idea, and when ARTIS thinks what you’re doing is insane, you know there’s trouble. What makes it even worse is that Lisa HERSELF, the person most likely to flip, wanted to go along with Pete and co., was perfectly willing to follow along with the plan, and you go and alienate her for no reason! I’ve run out of metaphors for stupidity at this point, just make one up.
Heading back to camp after commercial, we’re greeted with the return of the effective “Kalabaw 4” from reward, and as you’d expect, they’re greeted… oh, wait, I guess nothing happened at camp, as it’s CHALLENGE TIME (boy that came fast)! And the immunity challenge is nothing short of sadistic. Castaways roll balls down a long paddle, trying to get them into one of 6 notches carved into the paddle. The first to have all 6 balls sitting on the paddle wins. Dear Lord, this challenge is difficult. First of all, it not only requires balance, but also coordination with balance, something very rare, and almost never practiced. Furthermore, those notches aren’t big, they just barely fit each ball, so while the first ball might not be too bad, it’s downright Herculean to get the other 5 in there without dislodging another ball (as Pete so aptly demonstrated). It’s like a challenge off of Wii Fit, if Wii Fit had a cruel streak.
In an ironic twist, the man who left the game because of his hands is now kept in the game because of them. Skupin wins, which would normally be Penner’s death knell, but he’s not one to just roll over and die. He continues his work on Lisa, taking a slightly different emotional tack this time, one that I’m sure has come up in many a strategy discussion, but has never been shown so blatantly on screen.
Penner asks her how she wants to be perceived in editing.
I’ve always said that these people realize that they’re on a tv show to some degree, no matter how long they stay on, and are, to some degree, thinking about how they’d like to be shown. I think that, of late, it’s what has led people to avoiding a lot of good strategic moves, as they don’t want to look like scum to the national public. It also makes sense that the producers don’t want this sort of discussion shown, as it ruins some of the illusion of “reality” on the show, and can blatantly reveal what the editors are trying to do in some cases. Still, I doubt Penner’s argument is original, but it is a good one. He tells Lisa that however things turn out, she’ll be perceived as a likeable, loyal underdog, but that the public will dislike her for keeping the “evil” threesome of Artis, Abi-Maria, and Pete in the game.
What’s scary is the man’s ability to predict the public. That’s pretty much exactly the fan reaction to Lisa.
Meanwhile, the rest of Penner’s alliance (in what I first thought was a conspiracy to turn on him) decided to shift the vote to Artis, as he’s unlikely to play Abi-Maria’s immunity idol. A bit of unnecessary strategizing, given the confidence of the alliance, but certainly sound reasoning, and any one of the threesome is better than one of the Kalabaw 4.
Penner’s taking no chances, though, and also works the immunity-given Skupin to try and vote off Artis. Penner works a bit more blatantly, offering Skupin a full-on alliance. Skupin likes what he hears, but won’t move against Lisa. So, after some discussion in the water, it’s off to Tribal Council, where Abi-Maria once again digs her own passive-aggressive grave. And from here on out you know the story. Like I said, I thought for sure Penner was gone (very glad that he’s not, though), and I even had my “MORONS” megaphone ready to chastise the editors for slipping up on misdirection, when, in fact, it was one of the best bits of misdirection EVER in my opinion.
So, where does this leave us? With a big question mark, that’s where. Skupin, despite his interviews, moved against Lisa, and voted with the Kalabaw 4, apparently for good. This leads to one of two conclusions. Either Skupin has freed himself of Lisa (which I find unlikely) or Lisa told him to vote against Artis, allowing her to look like a good guy, but still eliminate Artis. A shrewd move on Lisa’s part, if that’s the case, but not a smart one. She moves from a solid 5 where she’s guaranteed victory at the end to a not solid 6 where likeability is pretty much even.
Still, this could lead to a short Pagonging of the old Tandang loyalists, which could make the next few episodes boring. Given the drama that Abi-Maria’s existence causes, though, I kind of doubt it.
What I don’t doubt is that tonight’s episode merited another:
TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5
The theme, as you might guess, is blindsides, and for once, I’m going purely subjective, my own opinions (primarily based on predictability) of what the best blindsides are. I may do a more objective list at some point, to talk about the blindsides that had the most impact on the game, but that’s not this list. Also, as there’s no such thing as a “bad” blindside in my objective opinion, I’ll be using it to list the top 5 missed opportunities for blindsides. One note of clarification on this: the name I list for the bottom 5 is the person who ACTUALLY got voted off, not the person who should have been blindsided. Now then, on to the list.
Top 5
5. Deena Bennett (“Survivor The Amazon”): Where better to start than with a blindside by the king of blindsides, Rob Cesternino. While Rob had already perfected this with the boot of the aptly-named Roger Sexton, Deena’s was in my opinion the most unexpected, as well as Rob’s biggest power play. It gains the lowest slot I can give only because the editing made it seem like it was coming, so a bit of predictability. Overall, though, an exciting boot for an exciting episode.
4. Artis Silvester (“Survivor Philippines”): So what if it might be the afterglow of Penner’s continued tenure in the game, my list, my choice! Admittedly, I did put this one down low because I’m not sure how I’ll feel about this blindside compared to others come tomorrow, but at the moment, they pulled the wool over my eyes, made an exciting episode, and earned the #4 slot.
3. John Carroll (“Survivor Marquesas”): It’s not so much that you thought John Carroll would never be voted off. He was in a leadership position (always precarious), a physical threat, and somewhat cocky. No, this one you just thought the alliance for it would never come together. Neleh and Paschal were too far ensconced in the Rotu 4 alliance to dare flip, especially with loose cannon Sean, and yet they did, making for the first “bottom of the totem pole” shake-up in “Survivor” history, and one hell of a blindside.
2. Leann Slaby (“Survivor Vanuatu”): I know I said that overall impact on the game wouldn’t be considered, but this is the exception. This is the vote that saved Chris’ game and won him a million dollars. I justify this bending of the rules by pointing out that I did not expect Chris to pull off any sort of a win, given how many women were left, so I’d call it an unexpected and fun blindside.
1. Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”): A fun and deserved blindside. Never. I never thought someone would be du enough to give up immunity to a majority alliance. You proved me wrong, good sir. Thanks for making the end of the season entertaining!
Honorable Mention: Gretchen Cordy (“Survivor Borneo”): I’ve mentioned before that I watched the seasons out of order, so “Survivor Borneo” was not my first and consequently lost a lot of it’s impact for me. Still, a lot has to be said for the first real “blindside” of “Survivor”, ever. You could argue, I suppose, that Stacey or Joel were technically first, but in both cases, you kind of saw it coming. Gretchen was the first real surprise, and it caused a storm of controversy when it aired. It must at least be acknowledged, even if it didn’t surprise me.
Bottom 5
5. Jenna Lewis (“Survivor Borneo”): Sticking to the land of Borneo, we have our first missed opportunity. While there was never really a chance to overtake the Tagi alliance from this season, as Pagong was just too disorganized, they did have a shot with their “Barbeque Alliance”. The Tagi alliance was fragmenting (with Kelly Wiglesworth defecting for a vote), and newly united Pagong front. That is until Sean Kenniff got moral, voted for Jenna, and in doing so sealed the rest of the Pagong’s fate.
4. Stephenie LaGrossa (“Survivor Palau”): Again, given the amount Tom Westman and Ian Rosenberger won immunity, this was a very slim chance, but deserves mentioning. The women couldn’t compete on any level with either alpha male, the only way they could WIN in the end was a woman’s alliance. However, it broke up because, according to Katie “Caryn sucks”. Mature Katie. Real mature. No wonder you lost.
3. Kelly Goldsmith (“Survivor Africa”): Much like Pagong, the Samburu tribe was at a disadvantage, ready to be picked off come the merge. Unlike Pagong, however, Samburu was much more prepared strategically, and it helped that the old Boran had a few cracks in it. And while this vote did end up going for a Boran member, it permanently splintered the Samburu, leading to their destruction and a missed opportunity for power.
2. Alicia Calaway (“Survivor The Australian Outback”): While Alicia originally hails from the outback, this goes out her boot in “Survivor All-Stars”. Once it became clear that a Pagonging of Mogo Mogo would not go smoothly due to Shii-Ann Huang’s winning immunity, people should have ganged up on Boston Rob. Although he didn’t win, he was the guy to beat, and yet no one made a move to better themselves. Shii-Ann put it best by calling them “Stupid, stupid people.”
1. Amanda Kimmel (“Survivor China”): This goes for the one time she was actually voted out, in “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”. DAMMIT, CANDICE, YOU COULD HAVE GOT RID OF RUSSELL FUCKING HANTZ, PUT YOURSELF IN A POWER POSITION, AND YET YOU DIDN’T! WHY? WHY? WHY?
Honorable Mention: Mike Chiesl (“Survivor Redemption Island”): More of a placeholder for any vote post-merge this season. Ometepe, like on “Survivor All-Stars” just couldn’t bring themselves to vote off their biggest competition, and payed a rightful price. They’re not on the list proper only because I can’t think of a specific vote that could have changed the game. For all my criticisms, Boston Rob did keep a good, tight grip on the tribe that season.
Well, that’s it and I’m bushed. Looking forward to the next episode!
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 