Idol Speculation: “Survivor San Jual Del Sur” Episode 7: #hashtagsarestupidandshouldgodieforever

Ah, the “Survivor” merge. A time of infinite possibility. A time where strategy comes to a head. A time when, depending how things are handled, you can either get one of the best episodes of the season, or else a thrilling anticlimax. This is a case of the latter. While not the WORST merge episode I’ve ever seen, this one falls pretty low on the list. Admittedly, what good moments it DID have were highlights for the season thus far, but man, the lows were pretty cringe-inducing. Let’s take a closer look.

In an odd twist, we start not immediately after Tribal Council, but the next day. Keith, not too surprisingly, is fairly annoyed that he got unexpected votes at said Tribal Council, and is particularly unhappy with Missy, as he correctly assumes that she orchestrated the vote. Missy protests, not unfairly, that they were paranoid about Dale’s idol, and had to hide the vote to protect themselves. Keith, however, is too offended to consider this argument, and I don’t blame him. When supposed allies vote for you, you drop those allies. That’s pretty basic “Survivor”. Admittedly, this doesn’t tell us much more than we already knew, as the merge was heavily publicized for this episode, and one assumes that couples will stick together. All this did was firm up that idea in the minds of the audience.

Hunah Poo-Poo wastes no time in hitting our plot points, as they get Tree Mail telling them to pack their belongings and march to a designated location. They correctly assume that this is a merge. Admittedly, another tribe shuffle is also a possibility, but the belongings bit makes it unlikely.

As Hunah Poo-Poo packs, we find out that Jeremy’s paranoia may actually have been justified. Our requisite “I had everything set, and now have to start over.” confessional comes courtesy of Neil Patrick Harris, where we find out, yes, he DID have Reed, and wanted to take Jeremy out. This actually makes me rescind a few of the negative things I said about Jeremy. He read the situation 100% correctly, and we just never got to see evidence of it. On a related note, Jeremy is also the one to give us our requisite “Now I’ve got a new start.” Confessional. I don’t hold it against this merge that we’ve got a bunch of generic, token confessionals before it. That’s traditional “Survivor”, and it’s understandable that a lot of the same emotions would run through the contestants each season. That’s part of the charm of the show. What can make or break a merge is how people handle those emotions, and incorporate them into their strategies. This season is a bit of an odd duck, in that this isn’t the case, and the strategy overall is quite good. However, we’ll get to something later that makes my teeth curl.

Coyopa also gets Tree Mail telling them about the merge, but not much comes of it, apart from Jon regrettably reminding us of the existence of Kat “What’s an appendix?” Eddorson of “Survivor One World”, by quoting the now infamous “No one wants to date someone who didn’t make the merge.” Line, which I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing. As such, we’ll skip right to the feast. Sure enough, the tribes are merging, though I can only assume that they’re going to keep the Hunah Poo-Poo name, since the buffs are pretty much exactly the same color. No, this is actually one of the more jovial feasts, as the tribes save the strategy for later, too busy finding out that they’ll be at the Coyopa camp from now on. The only sour note is Julie, who claims to be the only one without a loved one still there (Jeremy and Natalie claiming to be “each other’s loved one”, and Alec being tightly bonded with Neil Patrick Harris). Unfortunately, you have to remember this point, it’s INCREDIBLY important later.

BUT WAIT! This episode just keeps getting better! Once at the old Coyopa camp, they have to decide on a new tribe name. And oh, what a tribe name it is. I put it in quote marks, because otherwise no one will believe me.

The new tribe name is “#Huyopa”.

If, by some miracle, you haven’t keeled over and died at the mere sight of this awful, awful name, allow me to go into detail as to WHY it sucks. Hashtags are an annoying, pointless social media phenomenon that much to my and much of the world’s irritation, keep getting put on everything. I’ve accepted that they’re pretty much here to stay, and that I have to get used to them popping up on my favorite tv shows from now on. But putting them in actual proper names, is just insane! It’s pretentious, stupid-looking, and just lowers the intelligence of anyone asked to take it seriously. And don’t try to tell me that they were just joking, and that the real name is simply “Huyopa”. They put the hashtag on the actual tribe flag. It’s official. Join me at the bottom of this blog post for another round of good bashing of this incredibly awful name.

Fortunately, we’re saved from the horror that is the new merged tribe name (I refuse to type it again), by the airing of a new reality show: WORLD’S GREATEST DAD! Each week, a new father will attempt to demonstrate his love for his child in whatever way he deems most fit. Our contestant tonight is Keith Nale from Louisiana. We hear it’s his son’s birthday. He must have something special planned! Let’s see what he does…

KEITH: “Honestly, I just forgot.”

Wow. That sounded cold and heartless. What little love there was for Keith Nale is now gone. And the ratings are plummeting. WORLD’S GREATEST DAD will never be seen again. Please, try to scrub this awfulness from your minds, along with the new tribe name.

Seriously, though, there actually is some good stuff to this episode. Unfortunately, it all comes in one big block. If you couldn’t have guessed, I’m referring to that clash of titans, Jeremy and Neil Patrick Harris, the only two people on this season who seem to have brains, though Natalie and Missy are putting up strong contention. Our opening gambit comes from Jeremy, who correctly surmises that he does not need to talk to everybody, given how many pairs there are. By talking to just one member of the pair, he gets them both. Accordingly, he talks to Jon and Missy, and gets the best news he can hear. The two are still tight, and want to work with himself, Natalie, and Julie. Bringing along Jaclyn and Baylor, this gives them seven out of twelve, which is a majority.

However, on “Survivor”, making the first move is not always the best. Neil Patrick Harris has seen what Jeremy is doing, and uses it in his own arguments against him. Specifically, he talks to Baylor in the hopes that she can sway Missy to her side. Baylor tries valiantly to play up that she’s thinking about siding with him, but both he and Reed admit later that they see right through it. Baylor talks with her mom, and agrees that staying with Jeremy is the best thing, but she feels bad for betraying Neil Patrick Harris, since he was the one who apparently “saved her” several times. A couple thoughts on this. First off, in Baylor’s case it’s NOT the best to stick with Jeremy. True, as a whole for the PAIRS of Jon and Jaclyn and Missy and Baylor, it’s best to stick with Jeremy and his alliance. The reason couple’s alliances don’t work is simple game theory. True, the outcome is better for couples as a whole to keep each other round, but a single couple can get much farther using the swing votes of individuals. In short, couples are too dangerous to other couples. They can’t help but eat each other. However, the alliance with Jeremy works out well. True, only two couples will remain, but out of that alliance, they’ll have the majority. They can pick off the individuals when they want, or even use the individuals to get rid of the other couple. Despite this, however, Baylor is at one major disadvantage in this alliance: she knows nobody. True, Jaclyn doesn’t really know anybody either, but to be fair, she was on the bottom of Coyopa whichever way you swung it, so she’s no worse off following Jon. Baylor, however, DOES have relationships with the Neil Patrick Harris alliance, and so she could work a little harder at maybe convincing Missy to go with them. Secondly, “all the times he saved you”? Correct me if I’m wrong, here, but didn’t he vote AGAINST you in the first Tribal Council? Didn’t you say you weren’t going to trust Neil Patrick Harris as much anymore? Does that count for nothing?

Evidently, it DOES count for nothing, as Missy basically tells Baylor “No”, and Baylor goes along with it. Say what you will about Laura Morett and Ciera Eastin on the first “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, but whether or not their strategies were good, they at least TALKED about it, debated, and seemed like equals. Here, Mommy tells Daughter what to do, and daughter agrees. Not to say that’s unrealistic, of course. In a way, I’m GLAD to see it, since it helps differentiate this season from that other “Blood vs. Water” season. However, there’s a REASON people generally liked the original “Blood vs. Water”: it was ENTERTAINING! While not necessarily “boring”, this dynamic is far less engaging.

Missy’s ultimate advice to Baylor is to put on a fake looking smile and just answer “I need to talk with my mom.” when asked about other alliances. Unfortunately for Missy, she talks a bit too loud, and thus signals to Neil Patrick Harris that he needs to look elsewhere for allies. With few avenues left to explore, he turns to Jon and Jaclyn, saying they’ll go to the top 6 as couples and then duke it out. Jon does give it fair consideration, but ultimately seems to be leaning towards sticking with Jeremy. Personally, I think that’s the right move. While the couple’s thing is tempting, as I said before, it just doesn’t make sense strategy-wise, particularly in an individual game. Further, while Jeremy WAS trying to get you out at one point, you at least built SOME relationships with the old Hunah Poo-Poo. Jaclyn, conversely, built no relationships with anyone in the Neil Patrick Harris alliance. As such, you don’t know if you can really trust them. Better to stick with Jeremy.

Jon’s mind may be changed, however, by the turning point of the episode. It starts innocently enough, someone asking for some of the trail mix from the merge feast. Unfortunately, it’s nowhere to be found. We quickly learn that Julie, having no bonds with the new tribe, had taken it for herself, and doesn’t plan to share. A stupid maneuver with no rhyme or reason to it, and indicates that this point that Julie has simply given up. She’s found out by everyone else during a mandated bag search, and they all feast on it while she’s gone. Things seem to be kept calm, but feelings are hurt in general, and you can tell that Jon in particular is not pleased with the deception. He even goes so far as to say that he “Can’t trust Julie.” or her alliance anymore. Julie I understand, but the alliance? That’s a bit of a stretch.

In keeping with the theme of disappointing outcomes, the immunity challenge is possibly the worst of the season thus far. Basically, each contestant takes hold of two ropes. Suspended between these ropes is a disc, and on said disc is a ball. If your ball falls off, you’re out. Once you pass a certain amount of time, you move further back on the ropes, and once you pass further time beyond that, an extra ball is added. What makes this challenge pathetic is that it’s a combination of two types of challenges that were already pretty lame to begin with: the “Hold up the thing with ropes” challenge from “Survivor Samoa”, and the ball on disc balancing challenge from “Survivor Redemption Island”. Multiplying mediocre and mediocre gives you mediocre squared, and it just feels really weak, particularly for a first immunity challenge. Only two moments of hilarity: Jeremy being the first one out, for which he pretty hilariously berates himself, and the battle between father of the year Keith and son Wes. When Wes loses, there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing. That’s always pretty fun to watch.

Following Jeremy’s self-effacing tirade (he lost JULIE! Heaven forbid!), we once again size up the clash of the titans. Jeremy thinks he’s safe, but Neil Patrick Harris hasn’t given up hope. He tries the same arguments on Jon and Jaclyn again… and it works. Jon now says he’s 100% behind the Neil Patrick Harris alliance. What exactly possessed him to change his mind is beyond me. The only thing I can figure is that the Julie-hiding-trail-mix thing pissed him off to the point that he doesn’t want to work with her, and even that’s pretty flimsy. Admittedly, from the beginning Jon’s been a fan of the “Couples alliance” thing, but I refer you to my earlier arguments as to why that’s not a smart move. Jon also completes the douchebaggery by pulling a Drew, and shutting down any counterargument from Jaclyn.

However, there’s a monkey wrench in the works, and that is Missy talking to Julie. Julie’s having one of her hard times again, after Alec makes a thinly-veiled comment about the trail mix. Missy pulls a Jeremy, and tries to keep her head in the game, but she isn’t as good at it as Jeremy. Julie goes off, sulks, and then calls in Probst. She wants to quit. The elements were “Not what she signed up for.” and people are being mean and coupley and stuff. She also claims that people don’t mean anything they say to her, and are just using her. WECOME TO “SURVIOR”! What did you think you were signing up for? This is the low point of the episode for me. All this buildup for an epic clash, and we get instead what feels like a wimping-out of a contestant nobody cared for anyway. All the good stuff delayed so that a spoiled brat can complain and leave when the going gets tough. My God, this is so incredibly frustrating and irritating, that I CAN HARDLY STAND IT! RATS!

I hypothesized at the beginning of this season, during the cast assessment, that Julie was here purely to fill out the “Hot Girl in Bikini” quotient, and that I would dislike her amongst those ranks. I was wrong. Julie is an INSULT to those ranks, along with being one of the worst people ever brought on! The fact that she gave up after very little provocation makes it clear to me that she was cast only because they really wanted John Rocker (who, I would point out, was RECRUITED, and so we could have AVOIDED this mess very easily) and needed someone to go with him. She has no identity of her own, is tied only to him, and wimped out at what can at best be called a season of average difficulty. How does this make her an insult to other people brought on to fill the “Hot Girl in Bikini” quotient? Say what you will about the Kat Eddorssons (“Survivor One World”) and Morgan McLeods (“Survivor Cagayan”), they at least tried. They may have been awful, overly emotional players. They may have had next to no impact whatsoever. Their lack of intelligence may have been such a vacuum that it drained the I.Q. of everyone watching, but they at least TRIED! They put in effort, not much but a lot, and when the going got rough, they stuck it out long enough to be voted out with dignity. It’s small, but this means I can have an IOTA of respect for them. Not so with Julie. Good riddance to her, and may she never return.

The one GOOD thing to be said about this is that it does at least prolong the battle of the masterminds. Jeremy and Neil Patrick Harris were gunning for each other, and as they’re really the only strategists, when one of them leaves, the season gets much worse. At least this way, they stick around for one more episode. Apart from that, however, this is a pretty bad merge episode. When it was good, it was REALLY good. As I say, the strategizing from Neil Patrick Harris and Jeremy was a joy to watch. Everything else, however, sucked. Bad strategy, stupid moves, and unpleasant people all around. I’m hopeful that next episode can improve, but we’ll see. And the final outcome of this episode: Whereas before I was willing to be neutral about Julie, I now HATE her with a fiery passion.
Surprisingly, however, there’s one thing I hate more than Julie. It’s the new merged tribe name, which means it’s time for another:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

I’m aware I did one last week, but this name needs to be maligned some more. Still, let’s look back at the goodness of the past first, with…

TOP 5:

5. Dabu (“Survivor Micronesia”): The first entry in the top five merged tribe names is one that’s a bit of an oddity, hence why it’s only at number 5. I normally hate simple tribe names, four letters or less, and I particularly hate it when people pick up on simple, harmonious native words for it. True, I like the appreciation for culture, but the tribe name should inspire respect and fear, not cooperation and harmony. That’s not why people watch this show! However, Dabu is a bit different, in that it was a word made up by Erik Reichenbach to fool everyone, and that’s just hilarious to me. The one guy who’s remembered for being an idiot is the guy who fools everyone with a made-up word. Props, good sir!

4. Xhakum (“Survivor Guatemala”): Apparently the low entries on this list are the ones that are something I technically hate done right. Another popular thing to do with merged tribes is to combine the old tribe names, and it drives me nuts. It’s obvious, unoriginal, and sounds stupid more often than not. Xhakum is one of these, but I let it on this list for being a bit cleverer than other combination names. Rather than just slap the two together, as previously done, they actually took the suffixes of the tribe names, and made a new one. This creates a name that sounds original, and while it does pay respect to the old tribes, it is not obviously connected, so I give it a plus.

3. Barramundi (“Survivor The Australian Outback”: Probably the most basic entry on this list. It pays homage to the local fauna, sounds really menacing, and is just a lot of fun to say.

2. Alinta (“Survivor Vanuatu”): I love it when the name can relate to the culture in some way. And while the names the contestants come up with tend to be obvious and basic, I find this one works on multiple levels. Literally meaning “People of the Fire”, this name worked well for a season subtitled “Islands of Fire”. On top of that, it just sounded cool, and was about the right length: not too short and not too long. I don’t put it at the top because it wasn’t actually the local language, but in fairness to Scout Cloud Lee, with the number of languages in Vanuatu, it’d be hard to tell what the “Local Language” is.

1. Gitanos (“Survivor Exile Island”): Whenever I hear this name, I get shivers. It sounds ominous, it bears no relation to the former tribe names, and it’s actual Spanish. All plusses! Some would argue it’s inappropriate, as the word means “gypsies” in English, but given that this was a very disunited tribe, and had Aras Baskauskas as one of the founding members, I think it fits perfectly.

Honorable Mention: Dangrayne (“Survivor Philippines”): In hindsight, I love this name. Nothing better than a big “Fuck you!” to the elements that have been giving the contestants so much trouble. Oddly, though, it doesn’t make the list proper for being TOO clever. My more astute readers may recall that I didn’t get the joke when I first heard the name, splitting the syllables between the “N” and the “G”, instead of the “G” and the “R”. Because of this, I can’t really call this one a favorite. A joke that’s too hard to get is a bad joke. Still, puns of this caliber deserve to be acknowledged, and nowadays, it’s one of my favorites.

BOTTOM 5:

5. Nobag (“Survivor Gabon”): This name is possibly one of the simplest ever created. It’s the location name, spelled backwards. Clever, I’ll grant you, but also a bit boring to say. What makes it bad, as opposed to just average, is the negative connotations the name might have. Maybe it’s just the middle-schooler in me, but I can’t help but separate this name into “No Bag”. It sounds like an insult boys hurl at each other in the locker room, which is not really a pleasant way to think about your merged tribe. Good effort though.

4. Forza (“Survivor Tocantins”): You want a name that’s culturally relevant to your season? Well, this is NOT the one you’re looking for. I’m not sure what possessed these people to give a Latin name to a tribe on a season set in Brazil, but it REALLY didn’t work. It just felt awkward and unwieldy on an otherwise good season. Bet anything this was a Benjamin “Coach” Wade brainchild.

3. Aitutonga (“Survivor Cook Islands”): I had a hard time deciding which generic old tribe name combination should make the list. Aitutonga gets it because it’s just unwieldy. I know I said I don’t like short names, but I don’t like overly-long names either. Admittedly, this one is shorter than “Barramundi”, which I liked, but something about “Aitutonga” just doesn’t flow well with me. It looks stupid, it sounds stupid, it IS stupid. At least Chaboga Mogo on “Survivor All-Stars” had a catchy song to go with it.

2. Chuay Jai (“Survivor Thailand”): I said “Aitutonga” was a placeholder for all combined tribe names for a merged tribe, and it is. But this one deserves particular mention for failing on multiple counts. On top of being an INCREDIBLY simplistic name, the words actually MEAN something in Thai language. Normally, this would be fine by me, except that by combining the names, you make an entirely new word that makes almost no sense, and sounds really stupid to boot. Do you want to know what Chuay Jai translates as? “Helpful Heart”. You took parts of the two least-threatening tribe names ever, and somehow made them less threatening. I’m not sure how you did it, but kudos.

1. #Huyopa (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”): I thought nothing could top the stupidity of “Chuay Jai”. I was wrong. At least “Chuay Jai” stuck purely to English letters. This is a stupid combined name that dates itself considerably, and somehow makes hashtags, a stupid concept to begin with, even more stupid. May this name rot in the halls of infamy for all eternity.

Honorable Mention: Murlonio (“Survivor Redemption Island”): Another made-up name that has nothing to do with the culture it’s representing. How people thought this was Spanish was beyond me. However, I keep it off the list proper because, in a strange way, it does fit the season. Let’s face it, the theme was not “Redemption” or the local culture, but instead was “Boston Rob Wins Everything”. It’s oddly appropriate, therefore, that the merged tribe name was an incredibly stupid name he came up with out of vanity. Have to admire the commitment to a theme.

Geez, several long blogs in a row, this is wearing on me. Here’s hoping next week will be interesting, pleasant, but shorter.
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives-Guatemala

How do I do it?  How can I be expected to review “Survivor Guatemala”?  It’s a season near and dear to my heart, the first season I saw that I realized what the show was, the season that got me hooked, my version of “Survivor Borneo”.  Without Guatemala, my life would be drastically different.  How can I review it with any sense of fairness?

Well, with no new “Survivor Philippines” cast to save me this time, I have no choice but to look back on the season that started this 8-year obsession, and decide whether or not it still holds up today.  Go figure, my first real “Survivor” blog back from Australia, and I get one of the toughest retrospectives I’ll have to do.  No sense beating about the bush, I suppose, except to remind everyone, due to the long absence, that “Survivor Retrospectives” will contain spoilers.  Those wanting to know my general take on the season and its watchability, without knowing the outcome, can scroll to the bottom of the page, where I will have an “Abstract” section, that will be spoiler-free.  I will also remind everyone that this type of blog works by my scoring each season out of 10 on its cast, challenges, twists, and overall effect, leading to a total score of 40 given at the end of the “Overall” section.  With all that kerfluffle out of the way, let’s take a critical look at “Survivor Guatemala”.

 

CAST

On paper, you could say this is objectively the worst cast that “Survivor” has ever produced, and back up that argument reasonably well.  This is one of only TWO seasons that were not at least half-returnee that have never had a returnee originally from their season (and if the rumored “Survivor Blood vs. Water” cast is correct, Guatemala will soon be the ONLY season with this distinction).  Another distinction of this cast is that it’s the first to have the “2 returnees, one for each tribe” twist that has become so reviled recently.  I’ll be discussing the implications of this twist in the “Twist” section, as well as a mention in the “Overall” section, but the bulk of it really needs to be addressed here, as the returnees are some of the better-remembered people from this season.  In this case, the returnees were from the previous season, “Survivor Palau”, and were two members of the ill-fated Ulong tribe, specifically Stephenie LaGrossa and Bobby Jon Drinkard.  Both were well-remembered, at least, Stephenie for being America’s sweetheart, the last woman standing, and Bobby Jon for having the work-ethic that wouldn’t quit.  Stephenie got a good portion of screen-time, and I’ll talk about the impact of that screen-time in the “Overall” section, but suffice to say her character was not as well-received this time around.  Determined to make up for her mistakes from Palau, Stephenie was much more cutthroat, much more sarcastic, and overall just much more unpleasant to watch than previously, and is remembered as something of the villain of the season.  Bobby Jon, in contrast, kept his character pretty well from Palau, though he did bring a better social game, and was much more humble than he had been previously.  He’s less well-remembered, but was received about the same as he was on Palau.

And then we come to the original characters, one of whom was defined by his interactions with the returnees.  I’m speaking of the hotheaded Jamie Newton, who made a big deal of the fact that he was from Georgia, whereas Bobby Jon was from Alabama, and therefore the two HAD to rivals.  It didn’t help that they were on opposing teams until the merge, and therefore had many chances to butt heads (literally, in one case) and take potshots at each other verbally.  Jamie’s also well known for being excessively paranoid, even by “Survivor” standards, and accordingly got a very early comeuppance.  Combine this with the fact that he wasn’t a fan of Stephenie from the beginning, and you have a character the audience found really unpleasant.  Sure, I’ll admit that his interactions with Bobby Jon were a bit unpleasant, but they were intense enough to hold my interest.  He dropped the “Stephenie must go.” strategy very quickly, and the paranoia was quite fascinating to watch.  Now the person who ORGANIZED the realization of Jamie’s paranoia was a fan and personal favorite: young gay Mormon Rafe Judkins, this season’s moral compass.  Rafe played a very quiet strategic game early on, and seemed to come into a good alliance with Stephenie later in the game, but Rafe did make good moves on his own, breaking away from Stephenie at times, and almost always finding favor with the jury, such that had he made the finals, he probably would have won (but that’ll get a bit of talk in the “Twist” section).  Rafe, though, also struggled with his role in the game, famously asking later on if he was a part of the “Axis of Evil”.  The crowds loved his moral compass and his quirky nature, as well as his seeming lack of caring about the game as a whole.  Not that he wasn’t invested in doing well, of course, just that he didn’t care as much if he won or not, and was happy wherever he landed.  As Rafe is one of the people who got me interested in “Survivor”, I have to say, I agree with the crowd.

But of course, for every person the crowd loves, there has to be someone the crowd hates, and that someone is Judd Sergeant, the very New York Doorman who CLAIMED to be the moral guardian of the season.  Looking at Judd, just based on size you’d guess he’d be something of a big, forceful personality, and even this wouldn’t begin to show just the extent of Judd’s personality.  The man did pretty much whatever he wanted, got very loud and defensive, played favorites, and all while spitting out a few good one-liners (upon being voted out, he wished every remaining member of the tribe had their heads bitten off by a crocodile, before muttering “Scumbags.”).  People just thought he was rude as all-get-out, and couldn’t wait to see him go, making his continued time in the game (Judd finished in 6^th overall) a real eyesore to some people, but again, I have to disagree.  While Judd was not the most pleasant character to be around, we’d had some people who were worse (Brian Heidik of “Survivor Thailand” come to mind, and to use a more recent example, Russell Hantz of “Survivor Samoa”), and Judd at least brought a bit of humor to the season.  I’ll admit the hypocrisy of claiming to be a “moral guardian” of “Survivor” wore thin very quickly, but on the other hand, as a student of psychology, I quite enjoyed seeing how self-centered our perceptions could be.  Judd wasn’t full of himself, he was just interpreting events in such a way that they made him out to be better than he was.  Nothing criminal about that.  I suggested he be brought back for “Survivor Caramoan” as I recall, so obviously I find him to be a better character than most do.

Now, Judd argued with a lot of people, but probably one of the most famous was the “Hidden Immunity Idol” argument (which will be discussed in the “Twist” section) with ex-NFL Quarterback Gary Hogeboom.  Gary is best known for pioneering the “Lie about your profession” strategy (even though Willard of “Survivor Palau” had done it before), as he thought that being a former quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys (most famously) might work against him, due to the perception that he’d have a lot of money.  Gary’s hidden job was the subject of many early episodes, as it was quite elaborate.  Gary even went so far as to create a fake identity for himself (as Gary Hawkins), and claimed to own a landscaping business.  Not a bad lie, I must say, and while many, including myself, decried it as unnecessary at the time, it was still good fodder for some interesting storylines, and looking back at the season, Gary actually wasn’t a half-bad strategist, all things considered.  I wouldn’t mind seeing him come back either.

Another somewhat controversial character would be Lydia Morales.  Not that she was particularly dynamic, far from it.  She was, if anything, a PG version of Sandra Diaz-Twine of “Survivor Pearl Islands”.  However, like Sandra before her, she was able to get by one what few skills she had (in this case being nice and fishing ability) to make it well beyond what her physically weak body should have been able to handle.  A good underdog story, but I’ll admit it wasn’t played very well, to the point that I’m ashamed to say even I don’t think about her amongst the greats, which is too bad, as she does have potential.

Surprisingly, three of the most talked about people from this season did not even make the merge, usually a requirement for “Survivor” greatness.  Those people would be Margaret Bobonich, the nurse who was essential to the Nakum tribe in the early days, Amy O’Hara, the cop with the twisted ankle, and probably most well-remembered today, my fellow “Survivor” nerd Brian Corridan.  I’ll admit, I came in late to the season, and so I missed all three of these people on my first viewing, but even in re-viewings, I still managed to like them a lot.  Margaret won her way into the hearts of viewers and contestants alike (save for Judd) by using her nursing skills to nurse the Nakum tribe back to health after nearly killing themselves on the first challenge, and for having a generally sunny disposition.  Now, I don’t normally go in for such people, but with a number of sour attitudes due to the harsh environment (the worst “Survivor” has ever done, in my opinion), it was a refreshing breeze.  Amy O’Hara is one that I’m surprised has never come back.  She’s best remembered for having a mouth on her (always a small treat), and for injuring her ankle fairly seriously in the 3^rd episode, yet still carrying on for quite some time, even doing excessively well in the challenges in a few cases.  There’s something about that fighting spirit that I and the viewing public both seem to like, and even though she wasn’t top notch at strategy, I still couldn’t help but root for her.  The one TRUE strategist of the season, you might say, was Brian, who, despite his short time in the game, made a few important moves, notably leading a drive to save Lydia, a close ally of his, and even more impressively, saving his own skin from elimination when in the minority on the flipped Yaxha (might I also add, these are some of the coolest tribe names EVER) via the game of “Bait Blake” he enacted against “Golden Boy” Blake Towsley.  Besides this, he’s alos one of the more active former contestants on the internet from ANY season, which may help keep him in the minds of the fan community.  Although I found him a bit annoying at first, I grew to like and respect him for his moves, and I was sad to see him go.  Maybe the season would have been better in the eyes of the public if this guy had been the major strategic force of the season, instead of Stephenie.

While these are all very good characters, and the start to a solid season, sadly most of the others, particularly the early boots were duds, just overall uninteresting characters.  While those who made it late into the game were generally better characters, the few who did sneak through really dragged the season down.  Hell, eventual winner Danni Boatwright is not talked about today at all in either a good or a bad capacity, and you KNOW that’s a bad sign when your WINNER doesn’t elicit strong emotions from the fanbase.  Still, for reasons I’ll get into in the “Overall” section, I think people give this season a hard time, and it’s cast, while not stellar, is still remarkably solid, with many gems in there.

Score: 8 out of 10

 

CHALLENGES

The challenges of Guatemala are a bit of an odd duck.  Aside from the first challenge (an 11 mile trek through the jungle, which is commonly considered the hardest challenge ever on the show, which I would agree with), not many of them every really get talked about.  None became staples of the series, but 11 seasons in, I admit that becomes harder.  What I will give the challenges is that they were epic in scale.  I’ll talk more about it in the “Twist” section, but they really pulled out all the stops with the size and artwork on this season.  There were a lot of large courses and big objects in these challenges, which made things look very impressive and fun.  Hell, one of my favorite challenges ever, the mine cart pull, comes from this season.  Sadly, a lot of what I’m talking about comes from the pre-merge challenges.  While this season had a thing for ropes, even pre-merge, a lot of the challenges post-merge felt repetitive and weak, particularly in terms of scale.  So yeah, a very mixed bag on this one, and while I’m not a huge fan of the post-merge challenges (aside from aesthetically), the pre-merge makes up for it pretty well.  Not a stellar season for challenges, but still quite impressive.

Score: 6 out of 10

 

TWISTS

Of course, one can’t talk about the twists of “Survivor Guatemala” without talking about the elephant in the room, that being the return of Stephenie and Bobby Jon from “Survivor Palau”.  Due to its overuse in recent seasons, a lot of people have complained about this twist, but I think maybe a bit overmuch.  True, I, like most others, think it is not a perfect twist, and certainly much overused since “Survivor Redemption Island”.  Still, I think this iteration of it was ok.  While Stephenie did hog the screentime a little bit, she also was a major player this season, so it’s understandable.  You’ll note that Bobby Jon, who was also a returnee, got considerably less screentime than many of the new players, because he didn’t do as much.  So yeah, I let this twist slide because of that, because it was the first time this twist was done, and because, well, Stephenie and Bobby Jon kind of DID deserve to come back after the performance of the Ulong tribe.

Also of note is another “immediate challenge” twist.  This would be the aforementioned 11-mile hike at the beginning of the season, the toughest challenge ever given.  The reward, which was kind of a twist, was bragging rights and a slightly better campsite (though not much better, THAT twist wouldn’t come until “Survivor Fiji”).  Not bad stakes, and helped by the tribes having to decide what to carry to camp, a la “Survivor Africa”.  Pretty good way to start the season.

Things then calmed down until episode 4.  During a very unique challenge in which tribes had to vote on which members of their own tribes got rewards (everything from a shower to a picnic lunch), the tribes were divided in a new, albeit perhaps unfair, way.  Brian put it best at the reunion show: “Who has the most tribe pride?  Oh, it’s you?  Well SCREW YOU, you’re in the minority!”  While I can see why some might see this twist as unfair, I look on it as a new and interesting way of divvying up the tribes, and give kudos to the production team.

Once again, things settled into an equilibrium for several episodes, the only real twists being the former Nakum flipping a vote to eliminate Blake, and Judd flipping sides on the new Nakum to take out Brooke Struck.  There was also a double-elimination with a challenge for individual immunity, but still, pretty standard stuff for “Survivor”  Rafe was allowed to give individual immunity to someone on the other tribe as a result of winning the challenge, but the person he gave it to (Gary) was in no danger, and so nothing really came of that twist.

No, the flurry of twists did not start happening until the merge, beginning with the first immunity challenge, which introduced the “choose between food and competing twist”.  This is probably the one enduring legacy of Guatemala, and I quite like it.  It’s a twist that can upset alliances and reveal the pecking order, as well as just give insight into the contestant’s psychology. In the next episode, it also introduced the hidden immunity idol, another staple of the series these days.  In this case, the idol was not on Exile Island, but out in the jungle just waiting to be found.  While it’s become standard and a bit boring these days, back then it was crazy, and opened up lots of new drama at camp.

Next came the flipping.  Oh dear GOD, the flipping.  First Jamie’s alliance boots him out. then Judd gets booted, then Cindy, then Lydia.  All in all, surprise votes everywhere.  Certainly made the game exciting.  In the middle of it all, we get the introduction of the immunity advantage, adding an exciting NEW layer to the game, just making things all the more intriguing.  Not to mention the possibility for the winner of the car challenge (Cindy Hall) to give up the car so everyone else could have one, which probably cemented her doom, given that she didn’t give it up.

I’ll give this season credit, even up to the final episode it kept the twists coming.  Rafe and Danni, in an earlier episode had allied to the end, and promised to take each other to the finals should the other one win immunity.  However, Stephenie, the third member of the final 3, was so heartbroken that Rafe, having fallen out early, released Danni from her promise unexpectedly.  This cemented Rafe’s place in the public’s heart, as well as his place on the jury, as Danni, for all her sweet southern personality, was hungry for the win, and was going to take the easy victory.

I can’t quite give this season a 10 for twists due to a few dry spots early on, but overall a lot of really good, influential twists that keep one engaged.

Score: 9 out of 10

 

OVERALL

Aesthetically, this season combines the best of “Survivor Africa” and “Survivor Palau”.  A very distinctive theme that hasn’t been repeated since, that can be put on a grand scale.  Since this season was subtitled “The Maya Empire”, it had to be big and epic, and I have to say, the art department really rose to the occasion.

If the aesthetic aspect of the “Overall” section was a strong point, everything coming together is, in my opinion, what did this season in.  While it was fairly twist-heavy, that aspect of the season was received pretty well, save for the “main” twist of the return of Stephenie and Bobby Jon.  I speak particularly of Stephenie, because she is the main criticism I hear about the season.  Stephenie, as I said, played a more cutthroat game this season.  True, she was also more whiny, but she was a lot more aggressive, and we got to see her strategic side, which I enjoyed.  However, the reason the PUBLIC generally liked her was her underdog story on “Survivor Palau”, and how she overcame adversity to win.  When that was taken away, and Stephenie was no longer the poor picked on Ulong Survivor, suddenly she seemed a lot worse.  My thought was “Get over it, these aspects were hinted at on ‘Survivor Palau’.”, but most people disagreed, and were devastated that Stephenie wasn’t what she’d been made out to be.

This speaks, to me, to the main reason Guatemala was poorly received: timing, once again.  While it did some things really well, it was following “Survivor Palau” the series marked by firsts and over the top, memorable characters.  It would be hard for any season to stand up to it, and when a decent number of characters are unpleasant, it just makes the problem worse.  It didn’t help that a lot of the characters, like with “Survivor Africa”, could be seen as rehashes of earlier characters.  I’ve already made the Lydia/Sandra comparison, and Rafe was often seen as a more neutral version of Ian Rosenberger from “Survivor Palau”.  All these combined to make a pretty solid season seem much worse.  Still, looking at it out of context, while it’s not an AMAZING season, I’d say it holds up pretty well.

Score: 31 out of 40.

 

ABSTRACT

Guatemala is not a bad starter season, though I would recommend seeing “Survivor Palau” first.  The characters are not the best the series has ever had, but the challenges and aesthetic are good, the twists are phenomenal, and there’s just a lot to like in this solid season.