Flint. It’s difficult to use. It helps make that thing that supposedly represents your life. It’s been a staple of “Survivor” pretty much since the beginning of the show. And it blends very well with Nicaraguan soil. This last bit was a discovery of the heretofore successful Hunah Poo-Poo tribe, and yet somehow even THIS doesn’t dampen their spirits.
But I’ll tell you what gets me down: Another edition of
MATT’S MESS-UP!
Whatever the reason (I blame the length), I always seem to forget or screw up a few details from the first episode of a season. This past one was no exception, and is amongst the worse, as I actually misremembered two details. First off, in my analysis of Dale, I mentioned his resourcefulness in making fire, and that it endeared him to me. I neglected to mention the other thing that endeared him to me. He took a leaf out of the book of Bob Crowley (“Survivor Gabon”), and grabbed some of the prop department’s decorations (in this case a small disk tied to the lid of their water source) to use as a fake idol. This comparison is kind of ironic, given that I made a similar comparison in my cast assessment. In any case, despite the overall lack of effort put into making it, this is a smart move (never know when a fake idol will save you from elimination), and makes me like Dale all the more. Power to him.
The second bit of information is actually a case of my making an incorrect guess. When watching who voted for whom in the previous segment, I was completely focused on who cast the mystery vote for Baylor, and so did not pay any attention to the other votes. Hence I guessed that Val changed her vote, since she had more of a strategic mind than any other woman there this season. However, Val actually voted for Dale, like she’d promised. Baylor changed her vote. I suppose this makes sense, if she wants to ally with Neil Patrick Harris, but that still doesn’t explain his mystery vote for Baylor.
Speaking of that vote, this episode begins with a justification from Neil Patrick Harris as to why that vote was a good thing. The justification kind of sucks. Basically, Neil Patrick Harris didn’t want anyone catching onto the fact that he and Baylor were allied, and figured throwing a vote her way would throw people off the trail. Baylor herself seems to accept this explanation, but points out in confessional that if that was the case, he could have told her BEFORE Tribal Council so the pair could have agreed to the idea. Apart from this criticism, I also have to wonder WHY he thought voting with the guys would clue them in that he and Baylor were aligned. I could see them thinking that BAYLOR flipped, but how does that tie her to you in any way? If anything, your voting for Baylor would make them MORE suspicious, since it’s just so out of the blue that they must figure something is wrong. Even if this doesn’t clue them into your alliance, it would at least make them think you’re a loose cannon, and they’d be suspicious of you. Really, man, you do well this episode, but this was a major slip-up.
I suppose the one GOOD thing Neil Patrick Harris does in all this mess is explain his reasoning to Baylor, and managing to twist the situation such that, as mentioned, Baylor is a little suspicious of him, but still willing to work with him. Not that she has much of a choice, as the poor thing never has an original thought in her head. Still, brownie points for figuring out that Neil Patrick Harris should have told you beforehand.
Hunah Poo-Poo, meanwhile, engages in the pre-reward challenge routine of Pilates, which consists of Reed showing off his contortion skill by pulling his leg up by his head (ouch!), Jon bench-pressing with logs, and Drew expressing a desire to do push-ups. Naturally, this display of macho-ness does not go over well with the women, who point out that it’s not good to wear yourself out before the challenge. I’d counter that warming up before exercising is statistically a good idea, and still end up having to side with the women on the grounds that you need to conserve energy wherever possible in this game, this seems more like actual exercise than a warm-up routine, and most damning of all, it’s been established that ONLY ONE PERSON PER REWARD CHALLENGE THIS SEASON! You don’t all need to be ready, guys. I’ll give the women on Hunah Poo-Poo credit for this: while I still am disappointed that they all gravitate towards a strong male as the leader, and don’t seem as capable of thinking for themselves, they did at least gravitate towards Jeremy, a guy with some substance, instead of these bros. Hunah Poo-Poo being the older tribe really seems to be taking its toll on the young guys. The women may not be as independent as I would like, but they are, for the moment, acting mature, which is a plus in my book.
Workouts get called to a halt, however, when it’s discovered that the tribe flint has gone missing. CBS starts drooling, like Pavlov’s dog, at the fights that are sure to follow. However, their hopes are dashed thanks to Jon “Please-Feel-Sorry-For-Me” Misch, who admits that his Dad, who I should bring up is evidently deathly ill, sorry dude, instilled in him that you admit your mistakes and express sorrow for them, so that people will understand and forgive you. Nice life philosophy, I suppose, but not so good on “Survivor”. You were already on thin ice for being a “bro”, on this tribe, no need to sink your stock lower. While I admit that what you do is a good philosophy in life, on “Survivor”, it’s better to take philosophy from the “Sandra Diaz-Twine Playbook”, which clearly states “If you can avoid being blamed for the bad thing, do it.” I suppose Jon wanted to preserve tribe harmony, which I’ll admit is good for the game, but even so, I feel like blaming Drew wouldn’t have been a bad idea.
Since the flint blends very well with the soil and ashes (Jon lost the flint by putting it on a log above the fire, again cementing stupidity), the tribe decides there’s nothing they can do and head off to the reward challenge, which I REALLY like. While it does incorporate elements from various previous challenges, they’re combined in such a way that it feels original, and you all know my love for original challenges. Basically, the competitors will place a ball on a disk in the middle of a pole, and will then pull that pole along, keeping the ball balanced on the disk, while maneuvering through a series of obstacles. Once at the end, the competitors will send the ball, along with two others, up a Ski-Ball ramp, attempting to land the balls in slots. The first one to put all three balls in the slots wins fishing gear for their tribe, plus sending their loved one and someone from their own tribe to Exile Island. To be specific about the elements combined here, we obviously have the Ski-Ball that originated in “Survivor Caramoan”, and has become a staple of the series since. I’ve admitted that I’m not a fan of this element in the past, and I’m still not, and it’s the one part of the challenge I dislike. Even so, I do like the addition of obstacles on the ramp, and so like this iteration of Ski-Ball better. The other part of the challenge is a combination of moving through various obstacles and balancing a ball on a disk, now combined to be done at the same time. The “Ball-On-Disk” aspect comes from “Survivor Redemption Island”, while the obstacle maneuvering has been seen in many places, but most closely resembles a challenge from “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. Like I said, this is a great new combination, making for a difficult, nerve-wracking challenge that doesn’t play easily into the normal “Survivor” skill set.
First pick is once again decided by “Ancient Mayan Rock-Paper-Scissors”, or, as they called it, “Rock-Paper-Some Sort of Cutting Tool That Hasn’t Been Invented Yet”. John Rocker somehow manages to beat out Reed in this, giving Coyopa the only victory they’ll see tonight. And it’s a good thing, because they squander their victory right away. With a challenge, like this, maneuverability is key. You want to pick someone small, coordinated, and agile. John Rocker fulfills very few of these categories. Coyopa’s best bet would have been to pick either Baylor or Dale, in my opinion. Both are small players, and while their counterparts on Hunah Poo-Poo have the potential to outmatch them physically, it’s a pretty close match. I suppose picking Alec would have been ok as well, as Drew is the taller of the pair. But regardless, the WORST pick you could have is John Rocker, given that his counterpart is Julie McGee, arguably the TINIEST woman on the opposite tribe. Almost ANY other contest, particularly involving physical strength, Joh Rocker wins. But the man is over six feet tall and has all the maneuverability of an eighteen-wheeler. He’s going to get stuck on these obstacles.
Sure enough, despite John’s overall moving faster, he gets stuck on a few obstacles and drops the ball, while Julie moves slowly and delicately, never once dropping the ball, and ultimately wins for her tribe. And while I may remain unconvinced of her supposed strategic brilliance, I’ll give credit where credit is due, this was an impressive performance, and it was HILARIOUS to see her take down big, bad John Rocker. And for the record, in another strike against him, you could tell that John does not handle losing well, slamming his fist down on an obstacle in frustration.
After winning, Julie goes up and hugs John, which prompts Probst to ask John how it feels to be beaten by his girlfriend. This is an opportunity for John to partially redeem his past bigoted statements, and show that he has a human side. John instead states that it feels worse to be beaten by a girl. So, we now get to add SEXISM to that list of wonderful John Rocker qualities. What. An. Asshole.
Julie chooses to send Jeremy to Exile Island, a decision that mystifies me. Granted, even though we haven’t seen it, Julie seems on board with Jeremy’s alliance, as otherwise I feel she would have sent one of the “bros” because they annoyed her. The only reason NOT to send them is if you don’t want them getting access to the idol clue. But even so, why send Jeremy, the physically strongest member of your alliance? Whatever else it does, Exile Island drains you, and you want your strongest member ready for battle come the immunity challenge. Send your weakest member who isn’t you (i.e. Kelley), and then sit her out come the immunity challenge.
With Jeremy and John out of the picture, Probst prepares to send the tribes off, but Hunah Poo-Poo stops him. Having won reward, they say they’ve lost their flint, and would like to exchange what beans they have left for fire. This was the “new bargain” Probst had been hyping for the season, but it’s not all that new, and kind of lame. It bears a striking similarity to the FIRST “Survivor” Bargain on “Survivor The Australian Outback”, where the tribe traded one essential (shelter) for a greater essential (food). All that’s new is Probst reading them the riot act, not undeservedly, for going about the bargain the wrong way, having waited until AFTER they’d won to make the deal. Now, Probst wanted more, but I can see Hunah Poo-Poo’s logic. If they lose, they’d only have the beans, and so they’re more valuable than flint (as Hunah Poo-Poo still has fire coals they can restart), but if they win, they’ve got a surplus. Still, Probst is a hard bargainer, and now won’t rest until they forfeit the fishing gear. There’s an intense debate, in which the bros want the fishing gear, but the women, particularly Natalie, want to make the trade. I’ll admit, this is a tough call, and I’m not 100% sure what the right decision is. This ultimately means there’s no wrong decision, but I’d ultimately say that it’s better not to make the trade. There are other means of making fire, and you might possibly find the flint. There is NO other way of catching fish, and I doubt they’ll find fishing gear just lying around the beach. Ultimately, though, Hunah Poo-Poo does not agree, and makes the trade. As I say, it’s not a huge loss, but I think it’s the worse decision of the two, by a narrow margin.
Back at Hunah Poo-Poo, there’s mild celebration at the reclamation of the flint, but it’s overshadowed by commiseration. Natalie, understandably, is somewhat broken up about Nadiya’s departure. She claims that she hasn’t cried in over a decade, a bit of hyperbole I find very hard to stomach. Other than that, though, I actually liked the scene. I showed a lot of members of Hunah Poo-Poo in an endearling light for how they consoled her, particularly Reed (though honestly, I found Missy’s subsequent breakdown annoying for a supposed “tough woman”), and hyperbole aside, Natalie’s reaction genuine. While what I’ve seen of the two indicates that the sisterly bond is volatile, due to the amount of insults they fling back and forth, it speaks to a certain power of the bond that the pair still remain on good terms, so it’s understandable that Natalie would be somewhat upset at her sister’s departure. What’s more, again apart from the “haven’t cried in ten years” thing, Natalie’s reaction was pretty subdued. She cried, but she got over it and put her head back in the game, and what’s more, she didn’t swear any vendettas, she just did her best. While the vendettas and revenge plots on the first “Blood vs. Water” were interesting, even they slipped into the realm of the soap opera, or even drama for drama’s sake. Point is, it felt forced. Natalie’s reaction doesn’t exactly give us the same emotional impact, but it feels more realistic, and it actually makes me like her more than I thought. When they aren’t losing, evidently, the twins can be tough, engaging characters who can spout the odd one-liner that helps make “Survivor” entertaining. Granted, Natalie hasn’t been a losing situation with Hunah Poo-Poo yet, so that opinion is subject to change, but from what I’ve seen, I like her.
Coyopa, meanwhile, is unraveling on the John Rocker front. Specifically, it turns out that Dale’s “Famous Person” radar is not just limited to reality tv. He has recognized John Rocker, and even remembers that he’s something of a racist, homophobic, bigoted asshole. Somewhat disappointingly, the tribe’s reaction overall is “So What?” On a personal and viewer level, I’m sad to see this, as John Rocker’s assholery makes me want to see him burn, but I must admit it’s good strategy to keep him around. Josh in particular is ok with the news, as he sees John now as a good person to take to the end, as he’s a big target come the merge, but will get no votes at the end due to his personality. Think Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”), only with less crazy and more bigotry. Sound strategy, if you can get it to work. You could run into a Shamar (“Survivor Caramoan”) situation, and have him be more trouble than he’s worth. Josh does have good logic, though.
Regardless, Dale brings this subject up to make a point of how awkward Exile Island must be, due to Jeremy’s race. Jeremy, for his part, expresses a similar sentiment, as he ALSO remembers John Rocker and his infamous interview. Jeremy’s a little less forgiving than Coyopa, but still willing to let it ride with John Rocker, since he’s stuck with him. Jeremy ends up getting the clue, but doesn’t think as fast as his wife, and ends up sharing it. While I’m never a fan of sharing idol information if you can help it, I admit that Jeremy makes the most of the situation, making a sort of “Let’s take care of our loved ones” deal in sharing the clue. The clue, for the record, is a lot more informative. The clue originally had the words “Dig” and “Well” for Val, but now adds the words “Seven” and “North” for John and Jeremy. The first clue was too vague to be of much use, but this one pretty clearly indicates that the idol is buried seven paces due north of the well.
Challenge Time! And we get the first reused challenge of the season in entirety, but I’m ok with this one. Kind of. It’s the return of “Sumo at Sea”, first seen in “Survivor Palau”. The jist is that one member of each tribe squares off on a platform with sandbags, attempting to push the other person into the water. Last one standing wins a point for their Tribe, first Tribe to an arbitrary number of points (in this case five) wins immunity. It’s a very basic strength challenge, but there is something in the brutality of it that I find endearing. It’s also that brutality (as well as overusage recently) that is starting to make me dislike the challenge, but I’ll address that when it comes up. What also helps is the unpredictability of this challenge, though it’s case specific. At this point, Coyopa is getting into a rut of losing challenge, but their one strength is, well, strength. Hunah Poo-Poo’s momentum might give them an edge, but Coyopa’s strength makes up for it, so the outcome is far from decided, but I give the edge to Coyopa.
Probst’s gimmick this season is to give many of the matchups goofy names. However, he doesn’t go all-out and do it for everyone. Be consistent, Probst! In any case, I’ll be filling in where he did not. Rounds 1 and 9 are the “Battle of the Blands”, as each tribe pits its most generic girl against one another, meaning Kelley will be fighting Jaclyn, and each battle is as bland as its name. Each wins one round, but Kelley’s clinching the final round gives victory to Hunah Poo-Poo, so good for her.
Next up is the “Battle of the Brothers”, as Drew and Alec face off. If you had no idea that this season REALLY wanted to recapture the original “Blood vs. Water”, than this challenge should clue you in, as Probst gives this challenge almost the same framing and commentary as the Aras/Vytas match. And, much like that match, the brother who historically came out on top, Drew, wins, though without the excitement of the original. Drew and Alec are too similar to have a real rivalry, plus the Aras/Vytas match at least gave us underhanded tactics to analyze.
Round 3 is once again men, a “Battle of the Firemen” if you will, as Jeremy takes on Wes. It’s actually a pretty uneventful one, other than me incorrectly guessing that Jeremy’s size would give him an edge, as Wes scores another point for Coyopa. Harder fought is round 4, the “Battle of the Women of Color” as Natalie goes up against Val. This match goes on longer, and has a lot of back and forth between the two, and ends on a memorable note. After narrowly winning, Natalie proclaims to Jeremy that his wife is badass. Yes, Natalie, we all agree.
Round 5 is a tiebreaker “Battle of the Johns”, and once again I’m surprised. Less is more, as the Jon who is smaller and has fewer letters in his name takes the title. Ok, John Rocker, your main assets were in strength, and you can’t even bring THAT to the table. He can, however, bring a broken nose, but I’m sure that’s the only injury we’ll see today, right?
Round 6 is the “Battle of Mother and Daughter” as Laura Morett takes on Ciera Eastin… I mean, Missy takes on Baylor. Seriously, just like the Drew/Alec match, they’re not hiding who they really want back. This match is easily the most memorable, though, as both swear they’ll think of Missy’s various exes to gain strength. There’s a “Scott Pilgrim” joke here, I’m just not sure what it is. Regardless, this strategy works a little too well, as Missy hits Baylor too hard out of the gate, and Baylor accidentally bites down on her lip, drawing blood, stopping the match for about a minute. Once it’s established that Baylor does not need medical, the play resumes, but understandably, seeing her daughter in pain is too much for Missy. She pulls back on her punches, and Baylor wins the round as a result. Despite being a good microcosm of what works on a “Blood vs. Water” season, this is the round that makes me question my liking of the challenge. Fascinating though they may be, challenges that cause injuries consistently are not a good thing. We like to see people last longer, and don’t want to see them beat up too much. The trouble is, the past few times this challenge has been done, there’ve been some serious injuries. Tyson Apostol unhinged his shoulder on the first “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, and now we have John’s nose and Baylor’s lip. I think maybe this challenge is going too far, and needs to be retried. Also, is it just me, or was the rule about “Two Hands on the Bag” no in effect this time? Only Probst didn’t seem to be calling people out much on it.
Round 7 is the “Battle of Broadway” as Neil Patrick Harris takes on Reed. Now, given his dashing good looks no one wants to sully, you’d think Neil Patrick Harris would have the edge, but one must not forget that Reed is secretly Spider-Man, and he does whatever a spider can. Evidently, spiders can sumo wrestle, as Reed overcomes an early deficit to score.
Finally, since Round 9 was already covered, Round 8 is a “Battle of the Geezers”, according to Wes, which mean Keith and Dale square off. Pretty boring match, once again, but a surprising outcome. Though you’d think those years of being a fireman would have helped, Keith loses out to Dale. Fortunately, Hunah Poo-Poo continues their winning streak.
Those early days of Exile Island do not seem to have done Val any favors, as now she and Jaclyn are on the outs of the tribe. Val, however, is one of the few smart women on this season, and will not go down so easily. Under the pretext of talking to John about his time with Jeremy, Val comes up with the lie that she found two idols at the camp, so both she and Jaclyn are protected. John says he’ll think about it, and while he does, I’ll say that while the lie itself is a bit preposterous, Val pulls it off well, and it is a smart move. She’s gone into Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) mode, and is doing everything in her power to keep herself and her ally around. It reminds me a lot of Sandra instilling paranoia in Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) during “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, and while Sandra’s lie was better, it’s still a good attempt, and if you’re going to emulate a survivor, Sandra’s a good choice.
It all seems to come undone, though, as John decides to have a rare moment on insight. He goes looking for the idol anyway, comes to the same conclusions I did about the clue, and, as the music foreshadows, finds it pretty quickly. Getting into aesthetics, I do like the immunity idol this season. It’s creepy looking, but small enough to hide, and the fact that it looks broken gives it a more authentic feel. I’m less happy that John found it, but I can’t control these things.
Of course, John ruins his moment of brilliance by NOT realizing that this means that Val has no idol, and instead tries to keep good on his deal with Jeremy, informing Val that the plan is to split the vote between her and Baylor. Val then realizes that all she and Jaclyn have to do is vote Baylor, and they’re in the clear. It seems like Val’s nice bit of strategy might actually work out. However, Josh is suspicious, and rightly so. He notes that John and Val have never gone off alone before, and so something must be up. I cringe at this, as it sounds like a catty, High School sort of thing to say (stick to your own clique), but it is good insight. Josh is turning out to be the major strategist at Coyopa, and I love it!
Tribal this time around is much more interesting. At the forefront of the discussion is the tribe’s losing streak, and so Josh open up with a long, entertaining Broadway metaphor for change. We then get some much-needed sniping from Val and Jaclyn. Cornered and on the outs, they attack Baylor for being a traitor, which is true, in a sense, but they also claim that Baylor spearheaded the Dale vote, which I do not get. I think the women are trying to get votes on their side with this story.
It’s time to vote, and happily, I’m not sure who’s going, as both players have had adequate screentime, and there’s reason for both plans to succeed. In the end, Josh changes his split vote to force a tie, and with no way out, the vote turns against Val, sending her home. From a viewer perspective, I’m incredibly disappointed. Val seems to be a pretty good strategist, who had the bad luck of being sent to Exile Island first, and so couldn’t bond well enough to last. How’s that for guilt? It could be argued that Jeremy’s winning of the first challenge caused his wife’s downfall. Why they went with her over Jaclyn is beyond me. I guess they judged her not as physically strong, since she lost her round, and Jaclyn at least won once. Still, from a strategy perspective, I get it. While strength is important, and Val is stronger than Baylor, Val was also the brains behind the minority, and getting rid of her made her less of a threat, particularly to Josh, who now has the sole claim to strategy on Coyopa. Additionally, as we saw at that Tribal Council, Val was rocking the boat, which is very bad in the early stages of the game.
Despite what the title of this blog might indicate, this was actually a great episode. While there are still a few people I dislike in this cast (John Rocker), the people I liked are becoming better and better, and the people I thought would be annoying are by and large improving. I’m still disappointed at the women this season, but I guess you can’t have everything. This episode, like the first, helped set up some conflict for the future (again, mostly around John Rocker), but also gave us some payoff. Particularly, the highlight of the season for me is Josh’s rise to power on Coyopa. It’s not what you’d expect with the tribe, and it’s a joy to watch. Add to that some pretty good challenges and you have a fine episode! It gets an “A” in my book. Until next week!
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 
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