Spoiler alert: The Kentucky Public Education System is not very good! Look, I generally try to avoid racist or classist humor on this blog, as well as low-hanging fruit in general, but Donathan’s slip-up here is just too tempting to resist! Oh, not his gameplay slip-ups, though those will be dissected in great detail. I’m talking about his “If you’re going to blindside me, could you please let me know.” slip-up. Um, Donathan, I’m no longer sure if you know this but WORDS HAVE MEANINGS! Funnily enough, if someone TELLS you they’re blindsiding you, it’s no longer a blindside. It figuratively defeats the purpose. I say “figuratively” here so as not to misuse the word “literally”, something Probst does during today’s immunity challenge. Evidently the Kansas Public Education System is little better than the Kentucky one.
Moving on to non-political topics, Kellyn is understandably upset that her blindside didn’t go off as planned. In a good move on Kellyn, though, she spends less time moping and more time trying to do something about it, pulling Sebastian aside to talk. Recognizing that Sebastian and strategic talk go together like fafaru and pretty much anything else, Kellyn instead frames it as a moral issue, talking about how she feels like she’s the next to go. Sebastian assures her that she isn’t. Boy howdy, SOMEONE’S been drinking the Dom-Aid. I know that Wendell and Domenick are equal partners in the alliance, from what we’ve seen, but so help me, there’s no good way to combine the words “Wendell” and “Kool-Aid”. Point being, Sebastian really seems to be buying this stuff, forcing Kellyn to sit back and hope people come to her. Actually probably her smartest move at this point. With a solid foursome in place, there’s not much hope for her but that someone makes an ass of themselves such that they become too much of a nuisance and have to leave.
I’ll give Kellyn credit, though, at least she’s trying NEW things! We get our now requisite “Donathan wants to turn on Wendell and Domenick, but Laurel is against the idea” confessional out of the way early this time, even before our lack of opening credits. It’s the same scene we’ve seen a million times, but with a slight twist on it. Rather than simply COMPLAIN about not acting, Donathan decides to actually DO SOMETHING, even if Laurel won’t. Kellyn gets her wish of an ally coming to her, as Donathan tells her his desire to move against Wendell. Not a bad plan. Shame it won’t work. With Sebastian fully on board, and Laurel disinclined to budge, the most you can hope for is a 3-4 minority. At least it’s different, though.
Speaking of different, we get our reward challenge, which is TECHNICALLY reused, but given the changes made, I’ll give it a pass. It’s “Simmotion” the final immunity challenge first seen on “Survivor Tocantins”. I hated it there, and in subsequent instances of the challenge, because it was ALWAYS the final immunity challenge, and it just didn’t feel grand enough. Here, they solve those problems both by scaling up the size of the challenge, and making it the final reward challenge rather than the final immunity challenge, which has much less need for a grand scale. Yeah, we lose some of the complexity higher up, and having spools on “Survivor” just seems bizarre, but I’ll take what I can get this season.
Pairs are made via team captains, and I must complain about Wendell’s choice. Kellyn picking Sebastian I get. She’s trying to sway him, so taking him on reward is a wise idea. Donathan picking Laurel I also get. The pair are aligned, and it would be weird if he didn’t pick her. But Wendell picking Domenick? I get that everyone KNOWS they’re together, but whether you win or lose, that’s leaving some people alone to conspire against you. At least pick a potential swing vote like Angela or something.
Oh well, I can’t fault the pair’s skill. After some pretty intense moments, particularly a nice save by Donathan early on, Wendell and Domenick win reward. As per the pitfall of winning a reward that is not a large team challenge, the pair have to choose someone to come with them. Now, there’s an obvious move to make here, which is to take Laurel. Angela is out of the running, and Laurel is the cog in your alliance most devastating if she wavers. She is clearly the smart choice out of everyone. What I can’t get behind is how they do it. Out of respect for the other players, and so as to NOT broadcast how tight and cutthroat you are, at least pretend to discuss the decision before making it. But no, go ahead and pick Laurel without a second thought. I’m sure that will in no way piss off Donathan. Then they do the same thing when picking who to send to Ghost Island, wasting no time in picking Sebastian. Again, the smart choice. Sebastian is a loyal ally, thus keeping all advantages in your corner, but not so smart as to use it against you. But, yet again, take your time in picking him, lest you offend people.
Realizing that production still has a ton of previous advantages to get through, of course there’s a game of chance on Ghost Island. Sebastian wisely goes for it, as he’s in a fairly solid majority, and needs some sort of leverage at the end. Adding on to the incentive is the fact that evidently a 2/3 chance just wasn’t good enough, and so no the chances of selecting a key to open the advantage are 3/4. Unsurprisingly, Sebastian gets the key, and we’re left to wonder what advantage will come back this time. After all, a number of advantages were advertised previously, and we haven’t yet seen all of them. Both Lauren Rimmer’s shell idol from “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” and Stephen Fishbach’s Steal-A-Vote from “Survivor Cambodia” were known to be on the season, and could fit in the box, and yet we’ve seen neither. Which will it be?
The answer… IS THE WORST THING IN THIS ENTIRE EPISODE! Yes, even worse than the predictable nature of the boot! Look, I check the internet for “Survivor” commentary. I know the Ghost Island twist has gotten a lot of flak from people, partly for being underwhelming, partly for taking time from each episode, and partly for the games of chance being lame. And I agree, Ghost Island could be better, but I’m willing to cut it more slack than some, mostly because the producers are showing a good amount of restraint this time. But here I draw the line. The advantage is indeed a vote steal. But it is not Fishbach’s. No, it’s Sarah’s. You know, THE ONE THAT KELLYN PLAYED NOT TWO EPISODES AGO?! You haven’t even cycled through all the iconic twists and advantages of seasons past yet, and you’re already going back to using one’s we’ve seen THIS VERY SEASON? What are you thinking? On top of that this twist coming back so soon doesn’t even make sense with the “lore” of Ghost Island. Every other idol and advantage we’ve seen, the note talks about it “Sitting on Ghost Island, gaining power.” But that works because these advantages have been sitting there supposedly for YEARS, or at least a few months. Yet you’re telling me that something sitting there less than a WEEK can regain power! What fresh bullshit is this!
Ok, ok, need to learn from Sebastian and chill out a bit. Sebastian talks about how this will give him power in the game, and be his ticket to victory. Sure, Sebastian. Sure it will.
Off on our reward, we see that it is the usual “Give a bunch of supplies to the locals” reward, which I like to see. For all that “Survivor” can take and abuse the resources of non-western nations, it’s nice to see them do a little charity, and good to look at the cute kids. Even Domenick can’t help but comment on how the joy of kids is a universal language. Unless, of course, your name is Spencer Bledsoe (“Survivor Cagayan”).
While we’re on the subject of game-bot-ness, Wendell brings the talk about around to strategy, pointing out what everyone already know, which is that Laurel was brought along to keep her happy. She admits in confessional that she is happy, and that she does like Wendell and Domenick, but that she intends to turn on them and cut their throats. Sure, Laurel. Just like you were going to cut their throat all those OTHER times you gave nearly the exact same confessional. Yeah, you did a good job with the last episode, editing team, but your tricks have run thin.
On a somewhat better note, Donathan starts putting his plans for dissent into action, and he actually comes up with a pretty good plan. Donthan’s problem is that executing it well requires subtlety, subtlety he does not have. Donthan’s plan, since he can’t beat either Wendell or Domenick on his own, tries to turn them against each other. Wendell does a standard check-in, which Donathan takes as a lead-in to talk about how he feels left out of the alliance. Concerning enough for Wendell, but Donathan goes a step father and says to Wendell that if Wendell puts him on the jury, he’ll vote for Domenick. Donathan’s goal here is to try and get Wendell paranoid about the jury, and eliminate Domenick for him, or at least get Domenick paranoid enough to get Wendell out. And for all my complaints about Donathan overselling things, he’s actually ok here. His flaw is less in his delivery, and more in the fact that he’s trying this one Wendell, the guy who has the LEAST to worry about socially, and who’s the tightest in the bro-down. Where Donathan REALLY screws things us is when Domenick comes over to see what all the brouhaha is about, and Donathan repeats his lie more emphatically. Sadly, Donathan, this does not make it more believable, and you’ve now given incentive for Domenick to vote you out, both for a free vote at the end, and because you’re being annoying. Again, I’m happy that SOMEONE is finally doing SOMETHING about the dominant alliance. I just wish it had better execution.
Off to our immunity challenge, and it’s somewhat standard fare for this late in the game. Players build a puzzle bridge, solve a puzzle ladder, and do a slide puzzle to win immunity. Standard, reused fare, but I’m so happy it’s not yet ANOTHER endurance challenge that I’ll take it. Additionally, I really like the bridge puzzle this time. It’s different in a good way, as the puzzle is about finding the proper angle, rather than shape, for pieces.
As a plus for Kellyn, this is a challenge she has a really good shot at. She’s the puzzle whiz, don’t forget. True, Wendell and Laurel are both also pretty good at puzzles, and stronger than Kellyn, but these challenges so often come down to the puzzle that it doesn’t really matter.
Unless, of course, you fall as far behind as Kellyn. Granted, she’s not Angela, who only barely makes it past the bridge portion prior to a victor being declared (hilarious, by the way), but Wendell in particular gets a big lead early on. Only Sebastian is on him, and if you think Sebastian is winning a puzzle, then you’re smoking more pot than he is. Laurel and Domenick make it up, and there’s some competition between Laurel and Wendell, but that’s really the race. Sebastian has no clue, and Domenick further cements the “Tony Vlachos” (“Survivor Cagayan”) comparisons by throwing pieces around with reckless abandon.
So, while we wait for a victor to be decided, it’s time to note another milestone for “Idol Speculation”. Yes, the 200th blog just passed, but my longtime readers may recall that it’s a tradition for people from the current season (or a relevant one) to break into my apartment and shout at me their strategy. Superfan that I am, I still can’t fully get behind this tradition. You wouldn’t believe how much it costs to redo a wall twice a year. But for once, we’ve subverted the tradition. It’s the penultimate episode, and nothing has happened! They won’t be coming in next episode, because they have to be at the finale. I’ve done it! I’ve survived! No one has shown up! THERE WILL BE NO INTERRUPTIONS THIS YEAR!
WENDELL: Yo, bro.
ME: GAH! Wendell! How long have you been standing there?
WENDELL: Since the merge episode. Been waiting for you to notice me.
ME: Wait, you’ve just been standing in my room, arms outstretched, for a month and a half, waiting for me to acknowledge your existence?
WENDELL: Sure have. Kind of weird, I have to tell you. I’ve seen some stuff…
ME: Ok, ok, no need for the internet to know about THAT. Why didn’t you just say something?
WENDELL: I thought it would be cooler to just stand in an epic pose and have you notice me, rather than call attention to myself.
ME: But wouldn’t it have been smarter to have called out? Would have saved yourself a lot of grief.
WENDELL: Guess so. Nothing to do about it now. You mad at me?
ME: Actually, no. For once you didn’t break down my wall, you’re my favorite of the season, and you’re about the only person I’ve found on the internet who will call out out the rapping of Chris Noble, so that makes you ok in my book.
WENDELL: High five, bro!
(WENDELL and MATT do an epic high five)
ME: Ok, great to meet you and all, but seriously, go home. I’m sure your family misses you by now.
WENDELL: You go it.
(WENDELL exits politely).
In all seriousness, Wendell’s performance at the immunity challenge is, for once, a true “Survivor” First. Debate over whether the first declared winner or the first to finish wins immunity. Also one of the rare times you see Probst flustered. Yes, it is just as funny as you would imagine. It also creates a bit of a rules conundrum, as to whether Wendell (who finished first), or Laurel (who declared that she had it first) is the winner. Both sides have an argument. On the one hand, the way the challenge is described does say “The first to complete their puzzle wins” not “The first to declare they’ve completed their puzzle wins”. Ultimately, though, I have to side with the argument that the episode went with. Probst can’t check on everyone at once, and so it’s on you to declare you want a check. Plus, losing immunity seems like a reasonable price to pay for trying to look cool instead of just claiming victory.
Wendell’s a good sport about the whole thing, which I say speaks volumes about him as a person. It also gives Laurel excuse #85 for sticking with Wendell and Domenick despite it NOT being the strategically best move. Yep, there goes the last of the tension from THIS episode. Guess we’ll have to settle for the Kellyn vs. Donathan debates. These we get to very quickly, with Wendell and Domenick coming quickly to a consensus on Kellyn as the bigger threat, which is the correct move. Much as Donathan’s being annoying, that’s another wedge to use against him, and keep your core four solid. Kellyn, for all of her “Naviti Strong” preaching, is at least likable, and not prone to causing chaos, thus making her more dangerous in the long term. In addition, keeping Donathan keeps Laurel happy, and less likely to flip.
Donathan gets called over to be told he’s been spared, leading to the aforementioned misunderstanding of what a “blindside” is. Still, Donathan seems at least somewhat calm until Domenick and Wendell get a bit cute. Wendell, it seems has been making fake idols. Gee, show, sure would have been nice to see THAT instead of the same strategy confessional we see EVERY SINGLE EPISODE now. Granted, I’m not sure how much use a fake idol is on a season about using artifacts from seasons past, but points for effort. Also points for Wendell being the FIRST PERSON THIS SEASON to think of putting the papers in his fake. Rather than use his own (Erik’s idol from “Survivor Micronesia” is too distinctive for the note to be effective, I guess), Wendell asks Domenick to use his, and he agrees. So they do a handoff. Unsubtly. Right in front of Donathan. And then try to deny anything suspicious while obviously acting shady in front of a supposed “ally”. Yeah, Donathan may go a bit far here, but I can’t really fault him for how he reacts. Also, Domenick and Wendell, but mostly Domenick, way to NOT act suspicious and throw people off of your trail.
Donathan kicks it into high gear, and goes over to talk with Kellyn, at this point doing more harm than good, as Domenick and Wendell are now pissed, and even Angela’s tired of his shenanigans. I guess if we know that the main alliance will stay intact, we can at least get some mileage out of mystery as to who’s the target.
Tribal Council at first starts out on a slow burn, but picks up very quick. Following talk of being drained in relation to the immunity challenge, Domenick spills about Donathan’s reaction to his and Wendell’s maneuver. In a departure from form, Donathan handles this in a calm, collected manner, noting how it would be suspicious to anyone. Thus the whispering begins, with the invocation of Keith Nale (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”) via murmurings of “stick to the plan”. We also lose all mystery, as Wendell very blatantly tells Angela to stick with the “Hammock Plan”, aka, the one where Donathan goes home. Donathan remarks on the whispering, and Domenick tries to do damage control by asking if he and Donathan can talk. In a really badass moment, Donathan says “No.” Not a smart game move, but damn if it wasn’t satisfying. And for those of you who are worried about Donathan getting the last laugh, don’t worry. Donathan soon asks why he’s not being included in conversations, and Domenick reminds him that he shut down that conversation. All this lovely chaos ends when Wendell calls for a 3-2 split, making for some excitement this time around.
Indeed, the vote is a tie. Domenick gets a stray vote from Wendell, while the rest are split between Kellyn and Donathan (Kellyn having voted for Donathan in this case to save herself). Angela is heartbroken yet again, but the revote sends Kellyn home, who brags a little about her game, but overall takes it with good grace. I’m both sorry and not sorry to see Kellyn go. I think she had more game than people give her credit for, and you could especially see that in the last few episodes. As the only real strategist left outside of Wendell and Domenick (Laurel has lost the right to be called a strategist as of this episode. Sticking with Wendell and Domenick was pure emotion this time), she will be missed. That said, the talk of “Naviti Strong” did get old pretty quickly, and compared to Donathan, she’s less of an entertaining character. I mean, look at Donathan pulling up his bag at the first vote with his name. Comedy gold! Kellyn, for all her many good qualities, gave us nothing on that level.
This episode just BARELY scrapes itself out of being “bad”, and for once the mystery had nothing to do with it. I’m sure the show worked with what it had, but there was just no mystery tonight. Instead, the couple of funny moments (Wendell’s failure to be acknowledged, Donathan just being Donathan) made the episode fun to watch, if not for the overall narrative of the season. Still, as we are now down to the final episode left, it’s time once again to rank people’s winner chances. This will be tough, as there are a number of people I’d consider “tied”, and yet I don’t allow myself ties. Guess I’ll have to split a lot of hairs on this one.
1. DOMENICK: This is really close between Domenick and Wendell for me. The two have been in lockstep for so long, it’s hard to separate their games, possibly lending credence to Laurel’s “Split the votes” theory (though I doubt it). Domenick has been seen, both by the audience and by the jury, as the more strategic of the forces, but Wendell is the more social of the forces. Ultimately it comes down to jury preference. Does the social game win out, or does the strategic game. Going on past history, I’d normally side with the social game, but in this case, I think strategy may have it. This jury, while annoyed, does seem like the type that would respect strategy, rather than be resentful of it, so I don’t think Domenick has that downside. Plus, while Wendell is hard to beat socially, Domenick is no Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) or Jonny Fairplay (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) whom everyone just loves to hate. He’s had his moments, but he’s not someone you instantly dislike, which might give him an edge in a jury situation. Oh, and one can’t forget that the new jury format favors more strategic players, by Probst inserting himself in the discussion… I mean, by the players having more of a chance to speak!
2. WENDELL: Again, this was a really close one. Wendell has a few strategic victories under his belt as well, along with the social game being locked down. I see the jury not respecting that quite as much, but with a fair amount of respect nonetheless. If he’s articulate, or not against Domenick, Wendell could very easily be the winner of the season.
3. LAUREL: Perhaps a controversial call, but compared to everyone else, Laurel has the best shot. She’s got a lot of friends on that jury, and she seems like a smooth talker. If she can articulate how riding the coattails of Domenick and Wendell was her master plan all along, she might just take this thing. I don’t see how, but one must acknowledge the possibility. On the other hand, if she somehow successfully blindsides them, she’s got a much better shot.
4. ANGELA: A bit weird, seeing as we’ve seen very little of Angela, but the lady has stuck to her guns (proverbially speaking) out here, and won a few immunities. That’s worthy of some respect, and if she’s up against anyone but the threesome mentioned above, she might have a shot.
5. DONATHAN: He’s annoying everyone, jury included, and, as I’ve repeated many times this blog, not at all subtle. This at least means he’s PERCEIVED as doing something, which keeps him from the bottom spot, but with only failed rebellion credits to his name, he’ll have an uphill battle no matter who he’s up against.
6. SEBASTIAN: Truth be told, I really want to see Sebastian at the Final Tribal Council, just to see what kind of nonsense answers he’d provide. They won’t win him the game, but they should be a fun watch.
And there you have my rankings. Now, a couple of bits of business before we head into the finale. First off, my blog will be late. I’ve recently switch to first shift at my job, and while this does mean I get home in plenty of time to watch “Survivor”, it also means I have to be up at 6:30 AM. This means that writing a 2-hour blog after a show ending at 11:00 PM does not make sense. I will watch the show when it airs, and I solemnly swear not to read any other commentary before writing my blog, but I just can’t write it until the next day, without going to work sleep-deprived.
On a more intriguing note, I leave you with this. They say Ghost Island will be gone to “One more time”, yet I notice a multitude of unsmashed urns left on Ghost Island. There are a lot of fun ways they could go with this, though my guess is the final trip to Ghost Island will see multiple people go, but only one plays for an advantage. The boot order remains predictable, but that plus a Final Tribal Council with the best people left should make for a fun time then, at least.
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
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