Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 3: Sometimes the Guy in the Middle of the Road Gets Run Over

Sorry for the title, guys. I know it’s kind of long. I guess I just need the reminder of my all-time favorite player to cheer me up. MAN, this episode was rough!

Not that it starts out that way, of course. We actually get a charming wake-up at Sele, with Rob doing the old “tickle the nose of the sleeping Adam” routine. Little known fact, it only works on people named Adam. Our Adam doesn’t have a particularly big reaction to it, but everyone present giggles anyway. Adam takes it in stride, though. After all, he basically got his way at the last Tribal Council, so he should be happy, right? Well, while Adam is certainly pleased with the outcome, since it was a unity vote, he doesn’t see it as a victory, more Rob still controlling the narrative. He meets up with Denise, and discusses the need to get out one of the old school players, these being Rob, Ethan, and Parvati. It’s during this time we see that Danni willed her fire token to… MICHELE! No, it’s actually Denise, which I really should have mentioned last blog, and should have been a “Matt’s Mess-Up”, but this was an easy way to work it in, and saves time on the blog. We also learn that, rather than the split idol staying split, it works the way it did for the returnees on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, and if returned, becomes a full idol that need not be split. Much less interesting, and I’m disappointed in you for it, show. Adam and Denise wisely agree that of the three old-schoolers, Parvati should be the one to go. She brings the least in challenges, and isn’t connected with anyone. Contrary to what we’ll see this episode, Boston Rob is not bad in challenges overall, and Adam has a bond with Ethan. That’s why Adam goes and tells Ethan the plan to vote out Parvati… Wait…

Yes, for all that Adam talks about wanting to get out the old schoolers, that doesn’t mean he wants to make enemies of those remaining. Thus, he pitches the idea of voting out Parvati to Ethan. To his credit, Ethan clearly has been coached on the proper response in these situations. While he gives no firm commitment, he does nod along and doesn’t outright deny the plan. Where Ethan falls apart in in HOW he does these things, as his body language clearly indicates that he doesn’t want to go along with this. Sure enough, he tells us that while he has a bond with Adam, Parvati is his ride-or-die, and so he’s sticking with her over Adam. Nothing seems to come of it, but it sets up the story thread for the episode.

Over at Dakal, we see Sandra do what all great players do when they return: Change up their game (take note, Russell Hantz). I do, however, have to slightly question Sandra’s emulation choice. She’s going the Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) route, and going to catch fish via a net. Understandable that she would emulate a close ally she had seen on multiple seasons, but is Rupert, really the guy you want to emulate? Not the best track record in terms of game performance, is all I’m saying. Nevertheless, Sandra does literally net the tribe a shark, and I have to say, I’m much happier that she gets the glory rather than Tony. Look, Tony running around with a live shark is funny, but Sandra is overall the better game player, so I’m happy she got the glory. Not so happy is Tyson, which is understandable given that he’s on the bottom of the tribe. As such, he decides to throw Sandra under the bus because, well, she’s won twice. Kind of makes her the biggest threat left, now that Boston Rob and Amber aren’t around to be a pair anymore. He pitches the idea to Yul, who admits that he doesn’t trust Tyson, but takes it under consideration. When Sandra catches wind, however, she’s back on the anti-Tyson train, and Yul is now fully on board with voting Tyson out.

Heading over to the Edge of Extinction, Danni comments on the need to find food, due to the lack of coconuts on the island. Plus, you know, her original season had food provided for them, but no need to bring that up! In any case, everyone gets a clue in a bamboo tube with some shells that’s a drawing of a distinctive tree. Everyone quickly finds said tree, only to find a chest with a combination lock, and a note saying that they have the numbers and not to just guess. Naturally, everyone starts guessing, but it’s Amber who has the bright idea of going back down to the beach and looking for numbers. She finds them on the flotsam clustered around the mast, and runs back up to try them out. This would have been a BRILLIANT way to hide the number clues that could have made for a fun hunt, so naturally that’s not where the answer comes from. Instead, after a flash on the tubes, Natalie figures out that the shells on the tube give away the numbers. Wisely smashing or hiding the other tubes, she takes her own back to the lock after Amber and Danni are too tired to continue, and manages to open it. To Natalie’s credit, I will say that Edge of Extinction is where she seems to flourish. She’s so far the only one who’s managed to find any advantages to sell back, and is three for three on picking good people to sell to. Based on this, and how her game really kicked into gear on her original season when Nadiya was voted out, I can only conclude that Natalie is secretly the Incredible Hulk: She gets REALLY powerful when you make her angry.

As to the specific advantage Natalie gets, it’s a “steal a vote” to sell to someone on one tribe, with the location being at the other tribe’s camp. Does this mean a swap is incoming? No, that would be a good bit of foreshadowing. Instead, as we see shortly, it’s another “sneak into the other tribe’s camp” advantage. Ok, show, it’s really time to retire that particular method of obtaining an advantage. It’s either comically easy (like Jeremy’s was on “Survivor Cambodia”) or it’s built up to be difficult, but then is still easy. You play it up, use your clever editing tricks, but in reality, we know these people are never going to wake up and catch someone. Spare us the time for bonding with these players, and just give it to them outright. Stop making them jump through hoops.

But who exactly did Natalie decide to sell to? MICHELE! No, no, she actually goes with Sarah. A fairly logical choice. The only person Natalie can suspect of having more than one fire token at this point is Rob, who she probably doesn’t want to have advantages, so there’s not game theory to be had there. Meanwhile, Sarah is someone whose game relied heavily on advantages, and so she’d be likely to bite. Sure enough, she does, despite the supposed “risk”. See my comments above for my thoughts on how risky this actually is. Really the better argument for not buying it would be in saving up a fire token, especially since an extra vote can backfire and piss people off. Or, if you’re Stephen Fishbach, end up inadvertently leading to your own exit. Sarah is not Stephen, however, and so goes for it. Deciding she needs “cop backup”, she of course gets Tony in on this business. Tony coats Sarah’s face in ash for “camouflage”, but really, this is just how Tony does Ash Wednesday. Nice bit of synergy there, “Survivor”. After our manufactured “tension”, Sarah gets the advantage, and we move on.

Our immunity challenge today is an obstacle-course hodge-podge, ending with the bonsai tree puzzle. Barely worth commenting on, so instead I’ll say that this is where the episode begins to fall apart, and now I’m not just talking about the lackluster reused challenge. No, the misdirection on this season has so far been pretty solid, and it would seem decent enough on the surface even in this episode. But really, it’s obvious that Sele is bound to lose again, missing out on both immunity and shish-kebabs. How do I know this? Well, while both tribes got strategy and fun, Sele had a dangling story thread (Ethan not being on board with eliminating Parvati), while Dakal did not. Plus, if you’re me, and follow the “Survivor” Facebook page, you’ll note that the preview for the episode talked about the vote coming down to an “Old School/New School” split. Gee, I wonder which tribe has been talking about old school/new school, and which one hasn’t.

Really, this episode’s best misdirection comes from the challenge itself, which is really down the wire. Dakal gets an early lead which the seem to keep for most of the challenge, but Sele makes a major comeback on the puzzle. They’re literally one piece shy of victory, but that’s not good enough, and so they must go to Tribal Council. At least they get a gorgeous aerial shot of the sun on the ocean before the strategizing begins.

After a standoff, Ben and Jeremy go off to confirm that the vote is Parvati. Everyone seems to be on board, so this should be a straightforward vote, right? Well, then there’s Adam, who I love, adore, and respect, but MAN can the guy make some questionable choices. And no, I’m not talking about his telling Ethan about Parvati earlier. That move was questionable, certainly. Ethan doesn’t seem like the type who would take that well. But at least Adam and Ethan had a BOND. There was a REASON to not want him blindsided. But no, Adam is not content with just keeping Ethan happy, he needs to keep Boston Rob happy. Why? Well, Adam says he wants him around as a shield, which I can understand. No one, with the exception of Sandra, is going to draw votes more readily than Boston Rob, and so keeping him around as a target who’s helpful around camp and in challenges makes sense. My question is WHY DOES HE NEED TO BE KEPT HAPPY? Even blindsided, Boston Rob is still a shield, and by telling other people, you risk being seen as untrustworthy, and your plan leaking out to the wrong people. Oh look! Boston Rob is spilling Adam’s move to Jeremy and Michele, and now they don’t trust him, considering voting him out along with the old school players! Even Denise says it’s a dumb move! How ever did this happen?

Michele and Jeremy, as our swing votes for the evening, discuss what to do. They briefly give me a heart attack by discussing voting out Ethan as a way to weaken Rob, but that gets quickly pushed aside, and I’m sure will have NO bearing on our episode whatsoever. Instead, they debate the need to get out Parvati, and weaken Rob, against Adam’s untrustworthiness. A reasonable debate, but for me, the clear winner the choice to get rid of Parvati. True, Adam’s behavior is concerning, and you don’t want to let it sit by the wayside, but at least he seems like a solid ally. The old schoolers may be willing to work with you for a vote or two, but they’re not going to be solid with you. Also, I would differentiate Adam’s spilling of the beans versus, say, Ben’s spilling of the beans in intent. Ben spilled the beans accidentally, while Adam had logical reasons for doing so. Flawed logic, to be sure, but he knows enough to keep the people who need to be kept in the dark in the dark, and is unlikely to accidentally let something slip. Really, the only reason to get rid of Adam is to break the streak of women getting voted out this season. We head off to Tribal Council with the debate still in the air, so that’s ONE bit of misdirection in the show’s favor.

This may be a controversial opinion, but I’m not a fan of this Tribal Council. It’s hardly the worst, but I think that standoff when Sele first got back to camp carried over, as everyone as a whole felt subdued. True, Denise’s bunker metaphor was fun, if a bit confusing, and the hypocrisy of Rob calling out Adam for stating the obvious (basically what he did last time) is good for a laugh, but really, what holds this Tribal Council together is the mystery. So, our tribe is choosing between one beneficial boot (Parvati), and one that’s not as beneficial, but still has some logic behind it (Adam). So, who will our swing votes go with?

THE WRONG FREAKING ONE, THAT’S WHAT! Yes, folks, as my flimsy foreshadowing has indicated, the boot tonight is my personal favorite of the season, Ethan. As mentioned, this means that, for all the good this episode did, it now has “Jeremy Collins Downside”, which is weird, given that this season actually HAS Jeremy Collins on it. Heck, I think I may rename this “Ethan Zohn Downside” in the future. Look I give Jeremy’s boot in “Survivor San Juan del Sur” crap for a lack of foreshadowing, but compared to this, Jeremy got an entire prequel novel’s worth of foreshadowing for his boot. There was at least an entire conversation about booting him before he left. Ethan got a LINE. Literally, one sentence, indicating that he could go. Nothing else. What. A. Load. Now, would I have been happy with either of the other boots? Not entirely, but a lot of that has to do with those I WOULD be happy to see go being over on Dakal at this point. But even amongst Sele, Adam and Parvati both would have been less painful than this. Parvati, while playing a respectable game overall, doesn’t bring as much in the character department, while Adam, while very enjoyable, has been playing patchily at best this season. Both better choices than Ethan.

So, why is Ethan’s departure so painful, apart from just being my favorite? It’s the fact that he wasn’t playing badly at all. True, he was no stellar strategic genius or anything, but he seemed to be making an effort to up his game from his last outing, and making bonds with multiple people. He was targeted, near as I can tell, basically because Rob makes a better shield, and the Parvati plan got screwed due to Adam being too talkative. In other words ETHAN DID NOTHING TO EARN BEING THE BOOT! Ok, ok, to be fair, Ethan did stick loyally to the minority alliance, which is a mark against his game, but even then, you feel like he shouldn’t be first out of that group. He held his own and was helpful in challenges. He was friendly with everyone. Unless you’re in an Edgardo (“Survivor Fiji”) situation, you don’t vote out the nice guy in the minority when there’s better boots around. And true, the alliance could have been voting out of fear of Parvati having and then playing an idol, since they didn’t have enough votes to do a split vote safely, but if so, we didn’t see it, so it comes off as them sending Adam a message by getting rid of a fan-favorite winner. Hardly the dumbest move ever, but still pretty dumb, and MAN is it painful.

Much as I hate Edge of Extinction, at least Ethan gets to hang around a bit longer. He also gets to give away his fire token, and of course wills it to… MICHELE! No, no, of course he gives it to Parvati. Was there ever any doubt, with how bonded he and Parvati were?

For all my complaints, this episode is a step up from the last episode. More time devoted to non-advantage-based strategy, and a couple of fun interludes at each camp. But my longtime readers will know that, on both a micro and macro level, for me, the ending of “Survivor” is more important than the beginning. I can handle a horrible beginning if it leads to a fantastic ending, but it’s much harder to handle a horrible ending with a fantastic beginning. Guess which category this episode falls into? And yes, I am aware that the beginning part of the episode included Edge of Extinction. That was a good puzzle for them, and it highlighted the awesomeness of Natalie, so my statement stands. Yeah, not as bad as before as there are SOME redeeming qualities, but not one of the greats. I would have hope that next episode can do better, but it’s clear from the preview that Ethan has medical look at him on the Edge of Extinction, and if he gets medevaced, well, that’s just a double-whammy I’m not sure I can take.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor MGX” Episode 3: Back to School

After 33 seasons of a show, it’s pretty much inevitable that the advent of a new season will draw comparisons to an older one. Case in point, myself and many other people have drawn comparisons between this season and “Survivor Nicaragua”, both in terms of being a battle of the ages, and a pretty cringe-worthy theme. The cringe-worthiness I will not deny, but sometimes are judgements are too hasty. In terms of theme, this season is actually a lot closer to early “Survivor Cambodia”. Specifically, it’s closest to the early Ta Keo Tribe, where the divide was “old school vs. new school” “Survivor”, referring to a divide between those actually trying to survive, and putting the strategic game on the back burner, and those who put the game first and foremost. It may be a bit cliche, but as we’ll see, the Takali and Vanua tribes individually represent old school and new school gameplay respectively.

Dealing with your tribe after a major blindside is always a tricky business. Being hurt and/or outraged is a perfectly understandable reaction. At the same time, you really can’t afford to give in to that reaction, at least, not if you value your time in the game. Like it or not, if you want any chance at survival, you need to be diplomatic about the whole thing, since you’re going to need at least SOME people in the majority to still like you. So, where do Adam and Zeke, our betrayed players this episode, fall? Much like this season so far, they end up somewhere in the middle. Adam takes on the spokesperson role of the tribe, offering congratulations to the tribe as a whole, and Figgy and Taylor in particular, on their blindside. The correct words are there, but there’s a distinct tone behind them that makes me wonder whether this congratulations will be accepted or not. We also get a snarky comment from Figgy about how Adam is coming down hard on her and Taylor when a majority on the tribe ended up voting together, which is admittedly correct of her. However, I think what Adam’s REALLY trying to say is that he sees Figgy and Taylor as being the ones who swung the vote. Of course, this is ALSO a mistake on his part, since Michelle was the real power behind the swing this time, but in a sense, that only increases her credibility as a strategist. Swinging a vote is hard enough, but not taking any of the flak for doing so? That takes a whole other level of skill. Props to her.

Where Adam and Zeke (particularly Zeke) fall apart is in their dealings with Hannah, our indecisive voter from last episode. Correctly recognizing that she’s on the bottom of the majority, Hannah goes over to apologize and mend some fences with the pair, who are commiserating out on the beach. Zeke, however, is a no-sell in this regard, saying that he doesn’t particularly feel like talking to her right now. Fair enough, but again, there’s a tone there that indicates more animosity than needed. Add to this Hannah’s inability to take a hint (and by “hint”, I mean being repeated told “I don’t feel like talking right now.”), and you’ve got a situation where no one comes off looking good. Hannah doesn’t seem to understand about how to strategize with the recently burned, and seems to be looking more for forgiveness than an alliance. Zeke, meanwhile, is too stubborn in not talking to Hannah, and comes across as kind of an ass in how he ends up talking to her. Even Adam, who is charitably the most diplomatic of the three, ends up talking to Hannah rather harshly, such that I’m surprised she’s willing to hear out a proposal of his later.

Next morning does NOT see a continuation of this conflict, but we instead head over to Takali. Once we see what’s there, I WISH we’d kept on with Vanua. At this point, nothing at Takali really happens of note, except that we reaffirm how annoying Paul is, and call him out as a guy who can’t deliver. He takes the spear and goes snorkeling, but comes back with fish stories but no fish. We also get confirmation that CeCe and David do talk, and that Ken is more than just a middleman in this alliance, but that’s not a huge revelation.

Sadly, heading back to Vanua does not give us more strategizing, but instead a good fake out. We see Adam walking along a deserted section of beach with ominous music behind him. I’m sure most people were thinking “hidden immunity idol” at this point. I certainly was. But no, Adam instead walks right past the idol to get to tree mail. This reveals that the Vanua idol is NOT in a coconut, but under a seashell. Makes it harder to spot the logo, since seashells are generally more colorful than coconuts, but also makes it harder to just stumble across accidentally. All things considered, I prefer the coconut.

Tree mail brings us our promised “rock drawing twist”, and it’s here that we find out that we, the audience, have been played once again. Most people, including myself, suspected a “Two tribes become three” twist like on “Survivor Cambodia”, but it was not to be. Instead, four members of each tribe are randomly selected by rock draw to go on a picnic together, to gather information. I have to say, in some senses I’m relieved by them not going the same route as on “Survivor Cambodia”. Don’t get me wrong, the further dividing of the tribes was a great twist that I’d like to see again, but on a season explicitly titled a “versus” season, I feel like it’s too soon. If you want to draw attention to the divide between two groups, to the point of making it the theme of your season, then you need to keep those groups consistent, at least for more than two episodes. Plus, it’s always fun to see how good people are at holding their cards close to the chest in cases like these

If I WERE to have a complaint, it would be the rock drawing method in and of itself. The twist of having people from opposite tribes meet up and pair off is still a good one that we haven’t seen in a while, but given the option, I always like to have choice in these matters. Seeing how the tribe picks who will go can give great insight into strategy, or, at a minimum, lead to hilarious moments. Recall Coby Archa’s “Should it be Gregg or should it be Ian?” confessional on “Survivor Palau”. A comedic highlight of the season that would not have been there had the tribe just drawn a rock to see who would get singled out. I rest my case.

Will, Taylor, Figgy, and Jay all end up going for Vanua, making things there kind of bland. After all, no one from the minority got to go, so the strategic possibilities are limited. Takali is a bit more interesting, with underdogs CeCe and David going alongside Chris and Paul. Despite this divide, though, I have to give the strategic edge in this twist to Takali. Pretty much everyone there plays things as they should. Ok, maybe not Paul, but given who he is, I think it’s the best he could do. Chris gives us our traditional “play things close to the chest” confessional, which for someone like him who’s currently in the power position, is a smart move. Paul, despite making kind of an ass of himself, does actually do something of a service to his tribe by making a spectacle of himself. If people are watching his crazy antics, and so long as he doesn’t give anything away about divides on his tribe, it distracts people from talking strategy. It’s like a magic trick: you want to draw the audience’s eye away from what’s really happening. Even CeCe and David, the only people who explicitly give away alliance secrets, do their job well. They make some alliances on the other side (a necessity for the pair, since they’re on the bottom), but don’t do it in such a way that it tips off the rest of their tribe. All this is not to say that Vanua has a bad performance, but it’s very inactive. The one bit of talk we DO see from them is them revealing Mari’s exit after a single question. Not that this is dynamite information (after all, they’ll see Mari left at the next immunity challenge), but I feel like it’s opening the door to further, more probing questions. Not a good way to be in a situation like this.

It’s when we head back to our respective camps that we REALLY get to see the “old school/new school” divide on this season. Ken in confessional has been the most open critic of Paul, mostly for his failure to deliver on fish, an argument made stronger by the fact that Ken actually DOES catch fish. We also see him criticize Paul in front of Jessica, and attempt to get her to flip. Jessica talks about the possibility, and even brings it up to her fellow ladies in the majority, Sunday and Lucy (yes, they exist). However, they all agree that they’re in a good spot, and it does no good to piss off the majority just yet. This stuff is pretty textbook old school “Survivor”: challenge and survival performance are paramount factors in length of stay, and once you’ve got an alliance going, you don’t deviate from it.

Conversely, our simple scene back at Vanua ends up being textbook new school “Survivor”. After a bit of the “Triforce” plus Will hanging out, Taylor declares them to be an effectively invincible powerhouse. ACK! HUBRIS! We see, though, that Adam the diplomat can come out. Taking advantage of time alone with Michaela and Hannah, he outlines why it’s dangerous to keep the “Triforce” around, in a very logical manner. All talk, and all strategy. Again, textbook new school “Survivor”. We never hear Hannah’s thoughts on the matter, but given that she wanted to talk strategy the night before, and Adam isn’t yelling at her, we can presume that it goes over ok. Michaela effectively continues her “As long as it ain’t me.” campaign, listening and taking what Adam says to heart, but not committing to anything just yet. She wants to see where the situation lies for her, and notes that in the end, she’ll “Follow her gut.” Ah Michaela, when will you learn? From Lex Van Den Berghe’s eternally wrong gut on “Survivor Africa” to Darnell Hamilton’s gastrointestinally-inclined gut on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, following your gut on “Survivor” is almost NEVER a good idea!

Anyways, it’s Challenge Time! We’ve had a great challenge and an awful challenge so far this season, so it’s only fitting that we average out to an average challenge this episode. One at a time, five tribe members will haul sacks containing coconuts and sandbags across a tricky balance beam. Once all the sacks and tribe members are across, two other members sort the sandbags from the coconuts, leaving two more tribe members to toss said sandbags at a finished, standing block puzzle. Once the puzzle is knocked down, two other tribe members reassemble it, with the first puzzle finished winning immunity as well as some chairs and other comfort items. This is pretty much a rehashed challenge. It’s tough to say where heavy bags and balance beams come from, since both have pretty much been “Survivor” staples since “Survivor Borneo”. The puzzle knocking down, though, comes explicitly from “Survivor Cagayan”, and I’m happy to see it back. It’s a nice twist on the puzzle concept, where instead of just solving a puzzle, you effectively have to take it apart and put it back together again. Where the challenge falls down for me is in comparison to it’s counterpart on “Survivor Cagayan”. Originally, you were racing to knock down another tribe’s puzzle, and the challenge stopped when one puzzle was completely gone. Therefore, there was an element of balance between strength and smarts. You might not be the best at puzzles, but if you could knock things down quicker, you wouldn’t have to worry as much about the puzzle. In comparison, knocking down your own puzzle seems like a weak change.

Oh, and there’s also a special rule on the balance beam. Someone who’s already made it across can go back and take a bag for someone else. The only stipulation is that bag or no, everyone at the start of the challenge must make their way across the balance beam, meaning for this rule to be useful, someone either has to be really good at the balance beam, or someone has to really suck.

In fact, we get both. We’ve once again got a relatively back-and-forth challenge where either tribe could lose (both had sufficient strategizing that I could see it going either way), but where Takali falls apart is CeCe. She’s incredibly slow at the balance beam, but insists on going the entire way. Conversely, it turns out that Taylor on Vanua is reminiscent of Ozzy Lusth (“Survivor Cook Islands”) in more than just looks, as he pretty much carries every bag across himself. This turns the tide in the end, as Vanua comes back to win it all. This leads to Chris getting mad at CeCe, and declaring her the next to go, which naturally means CeCe is safe for tonight.

At first, though, there’s no obvious path of escape for her. As I said, Takali tends towards old school gameplay, where you stick with your alliance no matter what. A combination of CeCe being eternally left out of the loop (girl, you need to be PROACTIVE about these things if you want information), and Jessica’s reaffirmation that she doesn’t want to piss off Chris and Bret tells us that she is legitimately in trouble.

Then, however, Paul makes a mistake, as he is want to do. Jessica was already a bit on edge about the power of the guys, or at least the losing of another woman. She was cool to stick with her original allies, but Paul then makes a comment about being willing to throw the ladies under the bus should a guys alliance form. This leads Jessica, Sunday, and Lucy to reconsider their position before Tribal Council, giving us a solid narrative for Paul’s inevitable exit.

Probst made a comment before the season began about how he preferred the millennials at Tribal Council, and after two Tribal Councils with Takali, it’s easy to see why: THEY’RE BORING! Is this hyperbole for comedic effect on the internet? Yes, but the fact remains that even a blindside can’t make a Takali Tribal Council as exciting as a Vanua one. For some reason, Vanua just gives more creative answers and better sound-bytes than Takali does. Not that Takali answers things POORLY from a strategy perspective, not at all. But from an entertainment perspective, they lack. There was a funny moment of levity in the debate of “U” versus “you” in texting, but even that came off as annoying, cliched, and pointless, much like the theme of this season.

There was, however, one really good moment, highlighting a member of Takali I’ve only briefly touched on: Sunday. You might remember her as “Lady who gave generic ‘Gen-X’ confessionals in a Minnesotan twang.” This time, however, she actually has something to say. With the subject of her young children brought up, she points out how they’ll try a bunch of different ways of reaching their end goal, while her tribe seems caught up in doing things “the right way”. As I’ve said before, it’s the person with the most flexibility who embodies the best of both tribes, who will most likely win this season. I hadn’t really considered Sunday a threat before this Tribal Council, but this shows self-knowledge and flexibility, both very good qualities in this game. You go, girl! Kick that butt!

In the end, though, the inevitable happens, and Paul must leave us. His time was short and somewhat annoying, but entertaining and not overly annoying. I’m not sorry to see him go, but I’m glad he was at least on the show briefly. As to whether his ouster was a smart move: I’m stumped. Really, I don’t think there was a wrong move for Jessica, Sunday, and Lucy in this position. If they booted Paul, as they did, they keep themselves in power and keep the women at even numbers with the men to prevent a gender alliance, but piss off Chris and Bret, and theoretically end up 3 against three versus Ken, David, and CeCe. Keeping Paul, on the other hand, makes the threat of a men’s alliance greater, and theoretically limits your options. Either choice could work out for them in the end, so it’s hard to say one’s better than the other. If you hold me down and force me to choose, though, I’d say that getting rid of CeCe would have been the better choice. I think the chances of David and Ken joining a men’s alliance are minimal, so you could pull them in next vote and be up on them 3-2 in the alliance, and you piss off fewer people. Still, I’m not going to chastise them for the move. It’s logical, and perhaps a men’s alliance was more likely than we’ve seen.

All in all, we’ve just got another ok episode. It wasn’t very surprising, but if you’re going to do an obvious boot episode, this is how to do it: set up early and clearly WHY this person will go, and give us strategy for future episodes to help keep things moving. Just kind of a ho-hum decent episode we get through before the REALLY good stuff comes.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cambodia” Episode 1: Borneo Boner

Ok, CBS, we get that “Survivor Borneo” was a great season that deserves to be remembered and praised forever, but you’ve gone a LITTLE too overboard this time. By throwing your contestants overboard.

The season is upon us! Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to! I must admit, I was nervous going into this episode. Not because I thought it would be bad, but because I had such high expectations that I thought the episode could never possibly meet them. And I was quite right, in and of that it did not meet said expectations. But only by that fraction of an inch that Ta Keo’s pole was short by on their second attempt. Whoa, but that’s spoiler territory, and that means Probst Narration!

Normally this is where CBS would engage in vehicle porn, and it’s true that we do get trucks, walking, and even six whole boats into this intro. But things work a bit differently on a season full of returnees, as we need to showcase them as much as possible. Accordingly, we get a lot of LONG interviews with the people CBS would particularly like to focus on. Since there are a lot of them, and these are all people we’ve seen before, I’ll only be focussing on the few people I have comments for.

Andrew Savage (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): I knew Savage was butthurt about his performance on “Survivor Pearl Islands”, but this interview for me takes it to a new level. Really? The ONLY bad thing that’s ever happened to you is that you didn’t win “Survivor”? I’m no stranger to hyperbole, but this is ridiculous; far too much for me! And if it ISN’T hyperbole, well then BOO FREAKING HOO! You didn’t win a reality show. So did 400+ other people, and that’s for “Survivor” alone. Get over it. If the only bad thing you can say about your life is that you’ve lost “Survivor” once, I would say you don’t really have the right to complain.

Tasha Fox (“Survivor Cagayan”): For all that I’m a Kass fan, I’ve also always had time for Tasha. She’s an unexpected challenge beast, is good for a quote or two, and like most of the “Survivor Cagayan” cast, she came to play and play hard. I felt like she got overshadowed somewhat because “Survivor Cagayan” had a LOT of characters, and there’s only so many hours in the show, and therefore it’d be fun to see more of her. Pre-“Survivor Cagayan”, though, my one fear was that she’d be overly religious, given her bio, and I’m sick of religion on “Survivor” after having to go through “Survivor South Pacific”. Thankfully, on “Survivor Cagayan”, this side of Tasha didn’t really come out. But oh, this interview. Pretty much everything she said this episode was a reference to her faith in some way, and while it’s not completely aggravating YET, it’s already started to reach warning levels. Look, I have nothing against people of faith or the devoutly religious, but keep it off “Survivor”. It just gets aggravating over time.

Abi-Maria Gomes (“Survivor Philippines”): Abi-Maria’s interview is not so much bad as a bit perplexing to me. Like a number of these other interviews, she lists off those things that she didd poorly her first time around. She lists off causing too many fights and not being able to control her temper, which are both spot on the money for Abi-Maria. But then she lists off accidentally throwing a coconut at Mike Skupin’s head as one of her major mistakes, which seems very out of place. Not so much because that’s in any way a GOOD thing to do, but it’s kind of the odd one out compared to her other mistakes. Also, wasn’t Abi-Maria’s excuse for her mistakes ”I’m Brazilian, that’s how we are.”? I’m willing to give her the benefit of a doubt on the other two mistakes, but I’m fairly certain throwing coconuts at people’s heads is not a traditional Brazilian thing to do.

Also, props need to be given to the introductory shots of Cambodia we get throughout the whole episode, but during the Probst Narration in particular. Apart from some stunning shots of Angkor Watt, (the shot of everyone walking between the columns gave me chills), we also got some gorgeous footage of boating around Cambodia, and of some adorable baby monkeys. I for one was delighted to see said baby monkeys get used again in an establishing shot, and hope they stick around for the entire season. Heck, if one of those baby monkeys was eventually crowned the winner, I would be very happy.

No, I am not secretly Shirin.

Sadly, we must leave the realm of cute baby monkeys to get to the first bit of Borneo throwback of the episode. After getting the cursory sound bytes about how it feels to be given a second chance at the game, Probst explains that we’re going to be mimicking the start of “Survivor Borneo” by having all tribe members swim over to the boat he’s on, grab as many supplies as they can, and then paddle off. Thankfully, there’s a twist to keep things interesting. There’s no time limit this time, but on another boat 100 yards away is one very large bag of rice, and the first person to touch it wins it for their tribe. Speaking of which, the people in the two left boats become the Ta Keo tribe, consisting of Kelly Wiglesworth, Jeff Varner, Peih-Gee Law, Spencer Bledsoe, Kelley Wentworth, Terry Deitz, Abi-Maria Gomes, Vytas Baskauskas, Shirin Oskooi, and Woo Hwang. Meanwhile, the people in the boats on the right are divided into the Bayon tribe, which is pronounced “Buy-On”. I’m sure that’s the proper Cambodian pronunciation, but “Buy-On”, doesn’t sound nearly as awesome in my head as “Bay-On”. It’s an entirely different language from English, my native language, so I can’t complain, but it’s a mild disappointment. Despite this disappointing name, I do like the people on Bayon a lot better, since it contains my two personal favorites, Kass McQuillen and Stephen Fishbach. Rounding out the Bayon tribe is Kimmi Kappenberg, Andrew Savage, Monica Padilla, Jeremy Collins, Ciera Eastin, Keith Nale, Tasha Fox, and Joe Anglim, who, as if he didn’t get enough love from the fans, is the darling of everyone on this tribe, save perhaps Stephen, but we’ll get to that in a bit. But seriously, Tasha’s hitting on him a bit, Monica expresses feeling impressed at one point. Even Savage is willing to make a move on him in the stead of his two teenage daughters! Now THAT’S dedicated parenting.

Not much to say on the plundering of the first ship, since it was pretty much just enjoyable chaos, though special mention must be given to Jeff Probst being pushed around a few times. That’s always good for a laugh.

As to the race for the rice, Ta Keo gets out to an early lead (with Kelly swimming for it and actually doing fairly well), but Bayon is right behind. Not an insurmountable distance, but overall, Bayon is probably the weaker tribe in terms of brute strength. They have an advantage at doing puzzles, I’d say, but the point here is that they fall further and further behind. Fortunately, they have wunderkind Joe, who jumps in to swim after Kelly and even seems to overtake her. Unfortunately, Ta Keo has Woo “Ninja Stealth Mode” Hwang on their team, who also jumps in and beats Joe handily to the rice, winning it for Ta Keo. I would say he used his “Sonic Speed”, but then, Sonic the Hedgehog is known to drown in water, so I feel like Woo’s using that particular power would be counterproductive.

We head off to the camps, where… Ok, show, I’m HAPPY that you’ve finally decided to put the intro back into the actual episodes. It’s been sorely missing since “Survivor Cagayan”, the shots for this one are really epic, and that music and editing style just scream “Survivor”. But if you were going to do that, hire back Russ Landau, and compose an original theme! It’s painfully obvious that you just slapped a new musical cue on the front of the theme from “Survivor Philippines”!

I know, I know, I’m nitpicking. And don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have an intro with reused music than no intro at all. Trust me, I am happy it’s made a return. I just really love the “Survivor” Themes, and want an original one again. If you cut Russ for money reasons, I say hire him back,, and take a cut in crew accommodations. I have nothing but respect for the crew that makes the show, and I get that after enduring the conditions of “Survivor Gabon” and “Survivor Tocantins” back to back, you deserved some plush accommodations for a season or two. But that was six years ago! Suck it up and go without for a couple months.

Whew, that was a long rant. NOW we join Ta Keo at their beach, where after much hugging, the shelter is quickly under construction. Kelly does a large amount of the work, and hopes that people will remember that and keep her around.

Oh Kelly. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. You really haven’t been keeping up with “Survivor” have you?

Suffice to say, that’s not at all how “Survivor” works. Kelly, it’s all about the alliances, not your value to the tribe. And in any case, the trouble with the shelter is that it’s a one and done thing. Making it is nice, but once it’s made, your usefulness plummets.

Still, there does seem to be an alliance of sorts forming from the shelter building. Kelly mentions that she, Terry, Vytas, Spencer, and Woo are the ones building the shelter, and she hopes they’ll stick around longer than those that didn’t help. This really seems to be the fruition of an alliance when Terry, ever the alpha male, starts pulling these people aside to get them into a tight alliance. He claims, quite correctly I’d say, that there’s a divide between “Old School” and “New School” “Survivor”, where the former cares as much about survival as it does about the game, whereas the latter starts the game up very quickly. Terry would like to pull in those players he considers “Old School”, though that doesn’t just mean people who played on older seasons. Vytas gets grandfathered in thanks to Aras (“Survivor Exile Island”), Woo because he’s adorable, and Spencer because… he’s loyal?

Ok, Terry, was your son watching the same game I was? I would call Spencer a lot of things, but “loyal” is not one of them. Oh, he never flipped, for sure, but that’s because he never had the chance. Spencer made it very clear on “Survivor Cagayan” that he would happily betray anyone to get himself further in the game, as well as ally with anyone. Heck, Spencer confirms as much here, saying he wants people to trust him, but they really can’t.

Oh, and another problem? Tha’s only five people out of a ten-person tribe. At best you tie. Better get someone else in on that game!

But even with this deviousness of Spencer, and the flimsy alliance, Ta Keo seems like a very happy go-lucky bunch overall, with no real conflicts. Enter Abi-Maria.

In our FIRST case of someone claiming to have learned from their last time on the islands, but then clearly makes the same mistakes as before, Abi-Maria starts making a big stink about the tribe, stopping pretty much all work and driving everyone up the wall with how incessant she is on this subject. Now, at first, it seems like a serious issue. Abi-Maria can’t find her bag. If it’s got her canteen in it, or something vital, that’s a pretty bad situation. But we come to find out that it’s only a bracelet. A bracelet that brings Abi-Maria comfort, but still just a bracelet. Look, I’m all for being comfortable on the island, but with just how long Abi-Maria goes on about the damn bracelet, and how accusatory she sounds doing it, it’s clear that she hasn’t learned a thing, and is rubbing everybody the wrong way.

We thankfully skip any sort of whining from Bayon about losing the first challenge, as everyone says the tribe is copacetic. Even Kass and Tasha seem to be getting along. Who would’ve thought? Whatever’s in that water, I want some!

Said cordial atmosphere does not stop the strategizing, though. Unsurprisingly, it’s Jeremy who sets about organizing an alliance. In an example of someone trying to correct their mistakes, Jeremy sets about drawing in the strongest to himself as a protective barrier come the merge. This means he makes good with Keith in a very good bit of salesmanship on his part, and pulls in Tasha, Savage, and Joe. Not a bad alliance (it certainly makes more sense than the one at Ta Keo), but it has the same problem as Ta Keo in that it leaves five people on the outside. Again, you want an alliance to make a MAJORITY, not a tie. In this case, though, that shouldn’t be too hard, since the women of Bayon all seem enamored with the guys, particularly Joe. Savage gets his fair share too, with a lot of “oohs” and “aahs” as he fells a fairly sizable tree.

But this alliance and “manly man” grouping leaves one man out. Enter Stephen Fishbach.

Yes, my poor Stephen is not doing so hot this time around. Drawing what I would call a fairly apt parallel to “Survivor Tocantins”, Stephen is once again the odd man out of a bunch of alpha males, only this time the bro-down is even stronger than on “Survivor Tocantins”. Stephen tries to engage his old strategy from “Survivor Tocantins” in trying to suck up to Savage, first by trying to split a small branch and completely failing at it (while I love Stephen, that scene was comedic GOLD), and then by sucking up to Savage. Neither of these plans works though, but they’re what lost him the million on “Survivor Tocantins”, so perhaps that’s for the best. Still, Stephen starts and ends this segment in dire straits. He says it best himself: After this first Tribal Council, he’s either in control or he’s gone. Her’e hoping for the former.

One note on the Stephen-on-the-Outs Storyline: In Jeremy’s discussions, Stephen was actually supposed to be in with the alpha males. Jeremy throws him out as a potential sixth. It’s Savage who says “No Stephen.” And I have to ask, why? We’ve seen a couple of times that Savage has it out for Stephen, even going so far as to make it seem that he’s the first one out, above several other players who are arguably more deserving of the first boot! Why all the Stephen backlash? There seems to be no rhyme or reason for it. I’ve heard rumor that Savage studied for the season by reading “‘Survivor’ Wiki”, and that it painted Stephen in a bad light, but that seems like a flimsy reason for wanting someone out this badly. My guess? Savage has a bad relationship with “Skinny” Ryan Shoulders (“Survivor Pearl Islands”), and Stephen, who bears a resemblance to Skinny Ryan on a number of levels, gives him flashbacks.

And here, we must insert an intermission. I know it’s not my style, as pretty much all I have going to me is passion and being quick on the blog draw, but sadly, I’ve contracted a bad cold, and can’t write much more tonight. Everything above was written the night of the premiere, and I’ll be getting to the rest first thing in the morning. I know it sounds pathetic to say “I’m just too weak to write”, but I really do need some sleep to feel better. I apologize profusely, and hopefully I won’t have to take such drastic measures. For those who want an unfiltered general overview, I thought the episode was great, and while I wasn’t happy to see the person go over the person who stayed, it was the smart move. The only way this episode DIDN’T meet my expectations was that it was a bit too easy to tell who was going to win the immunity challenge. the crew gave it an effort, and it nearly fooled me, but I correctly guessed the winning and losing tribe. A minor nitpick, I know, but this episode, while not perfect, was still a fantastic start to a hopefully fantastic season!

Here starteth the intermission…

INTERMISSION

Here endeth the intermission

11:00 AM: Ok, let’s get this show back on the road. Appropriately enough for a morning blog, we start with a morning scene at Ta Keo, where to no one’s surprise Vytas and Kelly are both doing yoga and meditation on the beach as the sun rises. The rest of Ta Keo is not so healthy, however. Jeff in particular complains about how much this game hurts, and it’s only day 2. I’m starting to wonder how much Jeff is actually cut out for this game. He was sick during the first episode of “Survivor The Australian Outback” as well, and while I dismissed it at the time as just bad luck, this seems like something along the same lines, implying that Jeff just doesn’t do well in these climates. It’s a shame, because I do really like Jeff, if only for his wit. I don’t have time to go over all his zingers as they come up, but he gets some good ones in here.

Later in the morning, we see that Vytas is once again up to his old tricks, smooth-talking and charming the women. This, despite the fact that he claims he only manipulated “the women’s perceptions” out of necessity on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. Can’t knock the strategy too much, though, since he’s so damn good at it. I mean, I could see what he was doing, it wasn’t directed at me, and even I found myself charmed by him. The man’s just that good at what he does. But someone is able to resist the charms of Vytas, though, and that someone is Shirin. She clearly sees what Vytas is doing, and starts pointing it out to a few people, beginning with Jeff and Spencer. She also points out how many connections Vytas has, noting that he’s connected to Terry through Aras (“Survivor Exile Island”), and Ciera on Bayon since they were on the same season. For some reason, this blows the minds of Jeff and Spencer, supposedly savvy strategist. You’d think they’d have thought of this themselves. Still, major props to Shirin! Gone are the days of ogling at monkey sex, now it’s straight to the cutthroat strategy. And I love it. Not only is it character development, but it’s actually really good strategic talk. Go Shirin! Keep it up, and I’ll like you a lot more. Of course, a proto-alliance of three is not going to take down Vytas, even if Spencer potentially joining them does reduce Vytas’ alliance to four. They’d need to pull in Abi-Maria, Kelley, and Peih-Gee in order to get a majority.

That may be harder than it seems, though. You remember Abi-Maria’s dumb “Bracelet Quest”? Well, she found her bracelet. In a bag labeled “Peih-Gee”. And while Abi-Maria goes on about wanting to give Peih-Gee the “benefit of a doubt”, she does talk a WHOLE lot about the bracelet, and implies theft, even if she says she doesn’t want to. I suppose she doesn’t get into a screaming confrontation with Peih-Gee, which I guess is improvement for Abi-Maria , but it still seems like she’s falling back on old patterns. Peih-Gee, for her part, tries to play things more diplomatically than she did on “Survivor China”, and sits down to have a calm discussion with Abi-Maria. It’s clear the two are wary of each other, though, making an alliance harder to come by.

Over at Bayon, the Joe worship continues. This time, it’s because Joe is using the tried and true “rubbing sticks” method to start fire. Frankly this is just another excuse to showcase how good and righteous Joe is to the audience, and deserves no going over here. Except for one random note in the middle of the scene. For some reason, we get a scene where Kass suggests using her glasses to start a fire, which is met with a lukewarm response, and we never see it used. The only thing that comes of it is that we segway into Kass talking about how, unlike many of the other people who are there to explicitly correct past mistakes, Kass is there to win and win only. This might seem like a random scene to put in the middle of Joe worship. And that’s because it is. I believe, though, that down the line that scene may have more significance than we thought. I’ll talk about why later on. For now, let’s just see if Joe managed to start fire. He DID?! HOORAY!

Stephen is not there to celebrate, though, since he’s out looking for a hidden immunity idol. Correctly surmising that he’s the first one gone should Bayon lose the first immunity challenge, Stephen wants to ensure his safety. Since I like the guy, and he’s pretty smart about these things, I’d LIKE to believe that he tried to first get a counter-alliance together, but simply couldn’t, leading to this more desperate plan. But since we never see him doing so, in the interest of fairness, I have to dock points. Yes, Stephen, looking for the idol saves you ONE vote, but you’ve got to look towards the future. Try and get something going with the other non-alphas on your tribe, save yourself for longer than just one Tribal Council. To make matters worse, Stephen doesn’t even manage to find the hidden immunity idol. In other words, that was pretty much a COMPLETE waste of time.

Back at Ta Keo, the Anti-Vytas alliance is starting to take a bit more of a coherent shape, as Jeff takes Peih-Gee out into the water to have a chat with her. Since the conflict on Ta Keo is shaping up to be “Old School vs. New School”, Jeff and Peih-Gee are most likely the swing votes. Peih-Gee because, falling exactly halfway in “Survivor” history, she can be considered both “Old School” and “New School”, and Jeff because, although being from season 2 puts him squarely in the “Old School” category, his style of play fits “New School” much better. Jeff proposes the Anti-Vytas alliance to Peih-Gee, but she seems to be more interested in kicking off Abi-Maria first. Maybe it has something to do with that argument you had with her earlier, Abi-Maria? See what happens when you don’t learn from your mistakes. Combine this scene with one of Jeff talking about how it might not be good to swing away from the “Old School” players since he would seem like a snake too early, and it seems like the Anti-Vytas alliance is over before it starts.

Tree Mail arrives at Bayon, which indicates that the first immunity challenge, in yet ANOTHER shout-out to “Survivor Borneo”, will be the first immunity challenge ever done on the show, quest for fire. How does everyone prepare? Joe leads them in yoga. Or, as Tasha dubs it, “Joega”. Ok, Tasha, I’m HAPPY it’s not another religion reference, but you’re overstepping your bounds here. Cringe-worthy puns are MY domain, and don’t you forget it! Keith, however, is not having any of it, insulting said yoga as pointless and silly-looking, amongst other things. Ah yes, the comedic intolerance that got Keith voted back onto the show! Aren’t you happy he’s back? Well, I’m not. Intolerance isn’t funny, and Keith just rubs me the wrong way as a result.

But before we head to the challenge, there’s still some bits of business to take care of at Ta Keo. It turns out that Stephen isn’t the only one with the idea in his head to look for the immunity idol. Kelley, another one who’s determined to show how much they’ve changed by playing more aggressively, sets out to look for an idol. She doesn’t find one, but does find a clue to its location. And I have to give her credit, that clue looked hard to find. It was hard to see in that clump of, I believe, leaves on the tree, and the tree itself was not as distinctive as idol and idol clue hiding places usually are. Kelley, that was an impressive find. My compliments. The clue reveals that, in a new twist, the idol ISN’T hidden at camp, but rather at the upcoming immunity challenge. Basically, the tribes are boing to have to put their raft on four posts. Underneath the top-right post is the immunity idol. Kelley just has to find a way to grab it without anyone looking. While I think the fairness of this twist could be debated (as a lot of the bikini-clad women whose suits have no pockets will be hard-pressed to find a place on their person to hide the hidden immunity idol, should they get it), this is still a clever idea, changing up the game in a unique way that still fits into the game.

We also take this time to see that Vytas is preparing the women for the challenge, by going over some stretches with them. Most of the women, even Shirin, seem to be eating it up. But Abi-Maria doesn’t want to have any of it. While I give her credit for ALSO seeing through Vytas on her own, this is just her death sentence. The alliance to save her and take out Vytas was nebulous at best, and with how badly she’s been behaving lately, I just don’t see her making it beyond the first Tribal Council.

And trust me, her tribe will be going to Tribal Council tonight. How do I know? Well, partly because I write these blogs after the episode has aired, but even before the challenge was run, I could tell you that Ta Keo loses. This is because I know there’s another twist coming, wherein the tribes go directly to Tribal Council from the challenge. No talking, no strategizing, nothing. But this also means that, in order for there to be any tension, multiple targets need to be set up before Tribal Council. Bayon, for all that Stephen has been shown to be a target, has not given us any viable alternatives, not even a chance of Stephen finding the idol. Ta Keo, by contrast, has given us two targets in Abi-Maria and Vytas. True, Abi-Maria goes home in most scenarios anyway, but it’s still more options than Bayon has. This is the one misstep of the episode, and it’s minor. Still, giving us talk of ANYONE other than Stephen going home, and you create a lot more tension.

Sure enough, the challenge is “Quest for Fire”, wherein the tribes swim a floating raft through the ocean, lighting torches along the way. This time, however, there’s an added bit. After lighting several torches on the beach, and placing their raft on posts, one person must then build a pole to retrieve a key and get through a barrier to light a final wok. The first tribe to do so wins immunity. In other words, it combines “Quest for Fire” with the “Jailbreak” challenge originally from “Survivor Thailand”. While this is yet MORE shameless Borneo-pandering from the episode, they at least add a little to this challenge. Also, while a reused challenge, it is an exciting one that we haven’t seen in 11 years, so I think I like it, and give it a pass on the “No reused challenges!” front. Plus, I have more leeway for reused challenges on All-Star type seasons, since it could be argued they’re paying tribute to seasons past.

Before the challenge, Probst takes the time to point out that Kelly’s tribe LOST this very challenge on “Survivor Borneo”. He calls this “Her chance at redemption”, even though I don’t see how Tagi losing the first immunity challenge was Kelly’s fault, so what does she need redeeming from. I also notice that Probst doesn’t call this SAVAGE’S chance at redemption, even though his tribe lost the “Jailbreak” challenge on “Survivor Pearl Islands”, and that, it could be argued, actually WAS his fault. This might seem like a minor thing to point out, but I actually think that Probst’s talk about redemption is why Ta Keo loses this challenge. More on that in a minute.

Despite my theory about who wins and who loses, the show actually DOES do a good job of creating doubt during the challenge. the tribes start out fairly even, but Bayon gives Keith the job of lighting the torches along the way. Keith, being Keith, manages to dip his torch in the water during the challenge. This not only puts it out, but also makes it harder to light subsequent torches down the road. Point being, Ta Keo has a decent lead going into the “Jailbreak” part of the challenge. And her’s where things fall apart. Who does Ta Keo have doing the pole-building? Kelly. And don’t get me wrong, Kelly’s remembered as a challenge beast for a reason, she’s hardly a BAD choice, but I don’t think she was the BEST choice. I feel like Terry or Vytas might have been a bit better at this part of the challenge. So, why Kelly? I think Probst’s whole “This is your shot at redemption.” bit really got to her, and she felt the need to take on the hero role to prove herself, even though she may not have been the best choice. Case in point, Bayon, who do eventually reach the “Jailbreak” part of the challenge, put Joe on the polebuilding, which probably IS the best choice for their tribe, and wouldn’t you know it, they end up beating Ta Keo on the pole building and win immunity. An exciting comeback to watch, mostly due to Bayon making good decisions, but would they have made the same ones if Savage had been baited the way Kelly was? My guess is, had this also been called Savage’s shot at redemption, he would have been doing the “Jailbreak” part of the challenge, no question. Would Bayon still have won then? Possibly, but I don’t think it would have been quite as easy as when they had Joe doing the challenge. So, Ta Keo can take some comfort that their loss was not entirely their own. Prost had something to do with it as well. Also, I want to give props to Joe for, after MANY iterations of the “Jailbreak” challenge FINALLY getting the idea to, rather than slowly draw the pole back through the bars, to tilt the thing vertically and throw the key over the wall. It’s a much faster (and, I’d argue, safer) way to get the key and I’m amazed no one tried it before now.

So Bayon wins, and gets the small yet cool-looking immunity idol, but the real story has been with Kelley and the idol. When her tribe initially gets the lead, and heads to the “Jailbreak” part of the challenge, Kelley goes with them, forgetting to grab the idol along the way. From the way she complains about this in confessions spliced into the challenge, plus the repeated hilarious shots of her stealing furtive glances at the idol’s hiding spot, I take it there’s a rule that you can’t backtrack at the challenge, and so Kelley is screwed. But later, no, Kelley just ducks back while everyone is trying to cheer Kelly into building the pole faster and grabs it with no one noticing (my compliments to her stealth, by the way), making all that angst entirely pointless. This shots of her furtive glances were funny, though.

Challenge over, Probst drops the previously mentioned “Go to Tribal Council, go directly to Tribal Council, do not pass Go, do not collect $200” twist, which gets the appropriate shocked reactions from the players, but since they’re just your standard reactions, they’re not worth mentioning.

Tribal itself is actually a pretty enjoyable affair. Apart from getting some more typical “What does it mean to be given a second chance?” line of questioning, and some talk about the difference between “Old School” and “New School” “Survivor” (where Probst hilariously gets exasperated with Terry), we get some fun humor about past performances, particularly Vytas saying that he needs to beat Terry, since otherwise Aras will never let him live it down that Aras beat Terry, but Vytas did not. We also get some clever double-talk, as Jeff (Varner, not Probst) talks about needing to be on the lookout for signals, subtly hinting to those he’s aligned with that he’ll signal who they should all vote for. A shame that we never actually get to SEE the signal, but I guess the mark of a good signal is when it can’t be detected by those who don’t need to know about it. The real highlight of the evening, though, is Abi-Maria, who sees through the veiled hints of who to vote for from several people, particularly Woo, and calls them out on it, saying to just address her by name. Woo protests, but Abi-Maria has none of it. I’m normally not a fan of Abi-Maria’s outbursts, but I feel like this one is kind of justified. Everyone knows that she’s going home, she’s not going to be on the jury, and she clearly hasn’t learned anything, so just be up front about it. At least this time there’s some REASON for Abi-Maria to be so blunt. Also, it was nice to see Probst call Abi-Maria on her hypocrisy. For all that she claims to have “learned” from last time, everyone agrees that she’s making the same mistakes over again.

As the tribe goes to vote, I’ll say that I really love the art direction this season, particularly on the Tribal Council. It’s beautiful, distinct, and clearly fits with the location. The torches in particular I think are gorgeous. There’s just such fine detail on them, with what appear to be little skulls, that I find them fascinating to look at. Just another check mark in this season’s belt I guess.

The votes are in, and of course, Abi-Maria… Wait, why’s Vytas taking his torch up to Probst? And why is Probst snuffing said torch?

Yes, this episode got me. While I can’t say there wasn’t ANY foreshadowing of his departure, they really fooled me into thinking that Abi-Maria was going, since the Anti-Vytas alliance never seemed very coherent. I could see some people therefore thinking Vytas’ boot was unearned, like say Jeremy’s was on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, but personally, there was still enough there that it made his departure plausible, but unlikely. And that’s how you make a really exciting boot! From an audience’s perspective, I am sorry to see Vytas go, since for me he’s a more enjoyable watch than Abi-Maria, and I think he could have brought some interesting strategy to the game as time went on. From a strategic perspective, though, I think getting rid of Vytas was the right decision. Ta Keo has physical strength to spare, and as Shirin noted, Vytas is a charmer. Let him get too deep, and he’s unstoppable. So, excellent decision making there, guys! Also, this means this season has what will not forever be my worst record for choosing a pre-season winner. Back in my cast assessment blog, I made Vytas my male pick to win the whole game. While I’ve had some of my winner picks fall flat very quickly, I’ve never had one be the first boot off. Oh boy, this is embarrassing.

Embarrassment aside, though, this was still a pretty spectacular episode. It wasn’t perfect, as I said, since one could pretty easily guess who was going to Tribal Council, but apart from that, we had intriguing strategizing, a lot of hilarious moments, a fun Tribal Council complete with blindside, and just the spectacular gameplay we expect from returnees. These people have come to play, and I look forward to seeing them do so. For all that I complained about the Borneo-worship going on, it was actually more downplayed than I thought it was going to be, so it didn’t interfere with the episode as a whole.

Before getting to the traditional “Top 5 and Bottom 5”, though, I want to draw attention to a couple of scenes from the episode. Why? Well, although I’m sort of bound to stand by my pre-season picks, I can’t help but notice when the editing of an episode indicates that people will do well, and might even win, and I feel like tonight, two people were broadcast as potential winners. The first of these is Kass. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Kass? But she barely got any screen time! this is just because you’re a Kass fan, isn’t it?” True, I may be reading too much into it, but I keep coming back to Kass’ random confessional in the fire-making scene. For a little bit, I had a hard time coming up with a reason for it to be there. But it occurs to me that here Kass is reiterating the “I’m here to win” line that she’s been using for a while, and that such a line is actually a lot different from what a lot of people are saying. True, I’m sure everyone WANTS to win, but a lot of them simply try to win by overcompensating for their mistakes their first go-around. Kass is one of the few who doesn’t seem too preoccupied with her past mistakes. That, to me, sounds like something a winner would say. And, if Kass is going to win, wouldn’t you want to set that up early, to get the audience used to the idea. Again, it’s definitely possible I’m reading too much into it, but it seems like the most logical reason for that scene to exist.

Kass isn’t the only one with a potential winner’s edit, though. I feel like Jeff Varner also got a certain amount of “winner foreshadowing” as well. In particular, one confessional where he talks about how his priorities in this game have shifted for him, and he’ll do whatever it takes in this “mid-life crisis”, as he describes it. All set to dramatic music, of course. Something about this strikes me as winner-y, and so Jeff is also another possible person set up early as the winner.

The blog is nearly done, but we still need to get to the:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

Since I gushed about the art direction and the torches in particular this season, it only seems appropriate that this list be about the best and worst torches from seasons past. Not a very complicated topic, so not a lot to discuss. Let’s get started.

TOP 5

5. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: This season broke the mold by not having the torches necessarily be straight, instead choosing to make them twisty and creepy-looking. This fits in well with what I’ve seen out Outback wood, and gives the season a unique flavor. Each torch looks individualized, yet still fits in well with the rest of the season, and with the other torches. A good balance of uniqueness and uniformity.

4. “Survivor Cagayan”: Most seasons will try to distinguish between tribe torches via different coloration, and “Survivor Cagayan” is no exception to that. What puts “Survivor Cagayan” on the list, though, is that it goes one step further, also giving each torch a theme animal on it, to fit the animal mascot of each tribe. Each one is beautifully carved, but again, with enough stylistic similarity that the torches don’t look off-puttingly different. They’re a joy to look at, and another addition to a great season.

3. “Survivor Cambodia”: The attention to detail here has won me over. These torches have an ominous feel about them, with what appear to be skulls carved all over them. Yet these torches also feel old and look weathered, meaning they fit right in with the season. But, again, what wins me over is that these are some of the most intricate torches ever used on the show, but they don’t feel gimicky. They feel just right, and that puts them on this list.

2. “Survivor China”: If we’re going purely by how well a torch fits a season, then “Survivor China” would be on top. But regardless, these are still some pretty cool torches. A lot of pretty gold inlay and Chinese symbols, even extending onto the wok of the torch itself, rather than the handle and base of the torch. That’s a uniqueness I can get behind, but it’s just SLIGHTLY less cool than #1 on this list.

1. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Man, these torches are badass. Using wrought iron to form the base for your wok? Intimidating. And they made it blend well with the nautical theme of the season. Most torches are cool-looking, at least to a degree, but these are the ones that, I find, strike fear into my heart, and therefore the best of the bunch.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Borneo”: Were I going purely by distinctiveness, then Borneo would be at the top of the list, no question. And even without that, I still think Borneo’s torches are cool-looking. The cauldron-style top is distinctive but fun. The trouble is that most of the distinctiveness of the torches comes not from the torches themselves, but from the decorations the players used on them. For whatever reason, the players really went all-pout in decorating their torches, and while this looks cool, it’s also not something inherent to the torch, so I can’t really count it for the list proper.

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Blood vs. Water”: I feel kind of bad putting this season in the “Bottom 5” category, since there’s nothing really WRONG with these torches. They’re just kind of bland. Straight up and down, no real frills or whistles to distinguish them from another season. I guess the real pity is that this season had a nice aesthetic look otherwise, but it didn’t translate well into the torches, and that’s a big disappointment.

4. “Survivor Palau”: I’ll grant you that having your torches be made out of tin cans does fit the “WWII” theme of the season, but that doesn’t make it good to look at. Apart from feeling a bit lazy, torches made this way just don’t look very interesting, and if it’s not aesthetically pleasing, it’s going on the “Bottom 5” list.

3. “Survivor Redemption Island”: This season tried to do what “Survivor Cagayan” did, with the distinctive animal themes for the torches. “Survivor Redemption Island”’s torches, however, don’t look nearly as nice, and therefore, don’t stand on their own as well. Plus, the torches from this season are weirdly bulbous. This is a bold design choice, but it just looks weird and gives the creeps, and not in a good way.

2. “Survivor Marquesas”: Another season that tried to depart from the norm of torch-making, but ultimately not in a good way. “Survivor Marquesas” made the torch tops square rather than circular this time around, but other than that, the torches were just bland and generic. And, unfortunately, the square-torch idea just didn’t do it for me. It looked too man-made, too formal. Perhaps it was just how extreme the squareness was. Other seasons have had square torches, and they’ve been fine, but when all you have to distinguish yourself is extreme squareness, that’s not a good sign.

1. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: You want to know what the height of laziness is in making your torches? Just take a regular torch, and tie some bamboo halves to the sides. No, really, that’s ALL these torches do. Just some bamboo, and that’s it. For a season honoring the 10th anniversary of “Survivor”, you’d expect them to pull out all the stops, make the grandest torches available, but instead, bamboo. Lazy, sloppy, uninteresting work. Really, the only torches in “Survivor” that I can’t find at least one redeeming quality for.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Pearl Islands”: The torches from “Survivor Pearl Islands” took a different route to distinguishing between tribe torches, by making them different shapes, rather than different colors. A bold design choice, and accomplished what it wanted to accomplish well, which is why it only gets an honorable mention, but since none of the shapes was distinctive, and frankly the torches looked like they came from different seasons, the discongruity is just too much to take, and these were ultimately not good torches.

Well, this was a fantastic first episode, and there was a lot to cover, but I think we did a good job! Here’s to a hopefully great season! See you guys next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.