Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Finale: Ordaining an Apostol

Yes, I am well aware that my title gives away the winner of this season.  No, I don’t care.  With the exception of my cast-assessment blog, I make it very clear that my blog contains spoilers, and anyone going into it should know to expect that.  Besides, this episode didn’t bother indicating that any outcome other than the obvious would come up, so why should I try?

As per the Tradition of the Finale, we get a longer “Previously On…” segment than usual, to catch up anyone who just tuned in for the finale.  It’s the usual long, overdramatic Probst narration, and while cheesy and melodramatic, it is so in a good way.  For all that I feel Probst has been off form this season, the narration was still in its rightful place.  My one complaint is how he makes out that each of the Final Four are where they are now because of their loved ones.  Look, Probst, I get that you’re trying to play up the season’s twist, and I get that the loved ones must have SOMETHING of an impact, but be honest, people only come on “Survivor” for the money, that’s what’s motivating them in this case.

Starting the episode for real, we get nothing out of the ordinary.  Ciera is naturally upset that she’s probably on the outs, but puts up a brave face.  Partly, she’s at least hopeful that whoever shows up from Redemption Island will be able to persuade Monica where she could not, and accordingly vote Tyson and Gervase out, hopefully giving her (Ciera) a shot at the win.  Leaves a lot up to luck, but Ciera’s not in much of a position to do anything else, so a good plan overall.

Monica, meanwhile, is making happy with Tyson and Gervase.  Tyson, in a show of loyalty, actually lets Monica hold his immunity idol, and I just now realized how sexual this description of the situation could sound.  Maybe Tyson really is having an impact on me.  Let me assure you right now that everything I’ve written in this paragraph is meant to be taken literally.  Monica is relieved in several sentences, but weakly admits that she might move against Tyson because of this, as he’s obviously been hiding things from her.

Our Redemption Island duelists, meanwhile, commiserate, as per usual.  All except Laura, who’s simply happy to hear that Ciera won immunity.  Uh, Laura, I get that she’s your daughter and all, but given that Hayden left almost as a direct result of her winning immunity, you might want to tone down the joy a little bit.  Hayden then sets up the framing of Tyson, Gervase, and Monica as the “Villains” of the season, which is not unreasonable, but also kind of mean in a sense.  Yes, they’ve been playing strategically, and have had their annoying and malicious moments, but none of them are really villains in the classical “Survivor” sense of the term.  Still, as this season goes, they’re definitely on the “Villain” end of the spectrum.

Possibly, we’ll get more Hayden philosophy after our commercial break.  By the way, HI, LACK OF AN INTRO!  I’ve avoided commenting on it all season, as I did that a lot for “Survivor South Pacific” and “Survivor One World”, and also because “Survivor Philippines” and “Survivor Caramoan” redressed the balance.  But I’m putting my foot down here because this is the FINALE!  You ALWAYS put the full intro in the finale.  It’s a reminder of just how far the game has come, and primes us for the Reunion Show, in a way.  To not have it in, when you have so much time and haven’t had it in all season, is just an insult.  I’ve seen the whole intro on Youtube, as well, and it’s a pretty good one.  It deserves to be seen.

Oh, well.  Hayden says that he thinks he’ll be able to beat “two Grandmas”, to which I must ask, Hayden, have you ever SEEN “Survivor”.  Final challenges, whether Redemption or otherwise, are nearly always endurance-based, which is usually an area where women excel more than men.  Plus, you’re up against pretty good physical competitors.  Laura is the odds-on favorite, in my book, but you can’t count out Tina.  People tend to forget, she had a great showing at the first individual immunity challenge on “Survivor The Australian Outback”, a “Stand on a small wood pole” challenge, and probably would have won had not Keith needed immunity for the good of Ogakor.  She might be a force to be reckoned with.

Laura and Tina give us equally blaze speeches, and we head off to Redemption Island, to FINALLY see it off, hopefully for good this time.  Sure enough, it’s an endurance challenge, a rehash of the ORIGINAL final challenge of Redemption Island, that being balancing a vase of the end of a plank with your foot.  Nothing about my above predictions changes.

Surprisingly, Laura seems to struggle first.  My best guess is just that she has final challenge jitters, but I really don’t know why her performance is suddenly sub-par.  Still, she has a nice recovery, and Hayden is the first one out, unsurprisingly.  Laura pathetically pleads with Tina to drop out, but Tina, ever the wise competitor, refuses, on the grounds that it would be stupid for Tina, particularly when Laura is showing weakness in the challenge.

Not long after, Laura falls, putting Tina back in the game.  Hayden leaves with little fanfare, though I will miss him for how hard he tried, whatever situation he was in.  Laura gets a tearful speech about wanting to show strength to her children by winning, and that by losing, she has therefore failed.  This is really faulty logic, which Ciera thankfully points out, allowing Laura to leave with grace.  For winning, Tina gets to give away the idol clue, which she wisely gives to herself, given that she probably near the bottom, and Redemption Island returnees tend to be the early targets. give her credit, though, she makes a fun show of stuffing the clue in her busom.  Highlight of the episode, right there.

With Tina back, there’s a few congratulations, but we waste no time in getting to the heart of the matter, that being Tina’s attempting to better her position.  Say what you will about Tina, the woman does not give up attempting to improve her situation, however hopeless.  Sharing the clue with Ciera, for some reason, she begins a fruitless search for the idol.  After getting the requisite “Tina is a tough mom!” speech from Ciera, the pair try a new tack: flip Monica.  Tina plays tings more aggressively than Ciera has in the past, lambasting Monica fobeing unable to win over the jury unless she makes a big flip.  This is correct, but also neglects the issue that if Tina gets anywhere near the jury, Tina will win.  Ciera, somehow feeling that her 37 days of experience, many of which she was in danger of going home during, outweights Tina’s 82 days and one victory on “Survivor”, sees fit to correct Tina’s gameplay towards Monica as being too harsh.  Now admittedly I’d normally be inclined to agree with Ciera’s style of persuasion when it comes to Monica, but Ciera, given that your tactic didn’t work last week, I think perhaps you ought to just accept a new strategy.

CHALLENGE TIME!  And in one of the few instances of excitement in this finale, we actually have an original challenge.  It does draw elements from the damn “House of Cards” Challenge I so despise, but by my own definition, it is original.  Tribe members must stack 10 blocks horizontally on a table attached to a rope they pull.  The catch is that 9 of the blocks are behind them, and they must adjust their pull strength as they move back to prevent the blocks tipping over.  The first person with all 10 blocks stacked wins immunity.  This is a clever challenge, utilizing different components than one usually needs on “Survivor”, and makes for an easy way to score, as well as a lot of back and forth.  I suppose if I were to nitpick, I’d say that this challenge is neither very grand, nor very culturally distinctive, but as it’s original and difficult, I’ll let it slide.

A lot of exciting back and forth yields Tyson as the victor.  About time.  He’s billed as a challenge threat, but he hasn’t really performed as such thus far.  I’ve suspected he’s doing so on purpose to make himself less threatening, but there was that little bit of doubt in my mind.

Ciera and Tina are expectedly dejected at losing, as Tyson, Gervase, and Monica are on the beach debating who should go between Ciera and Tina.  Tyson, wisely wanting to curry favor, opts to let Gervase and Monica hash out what turns out to be a more contemptuous debate than one would expect at this stage.  Gervase thinks Ciera should go, on the grounds that she’s made several big moves, and could therefore beat them in final tribal, whereas Monica is adamant that Tina should leave, due to likeability alone.  I hate to go against Gervase, as unlike a lot of viewers, I’ve enjoyed watching him this season, but I’m afraid Monica is completely in the right.  Tina is likeable, and has never had to vote anyone out.  This makes her jury dynamite, and she needs to go.  Gervase, in what’s an incredibly stupid move, insists on getting his way, going so far as to basically threaten Monica, and browbeat her into following his plan, thus alienating Monica from the alliance in the process.

And this scene, I think, demonstrates Gervase’s main problem this season: While he has been studying “Survivor”, he doesn’t seem to understand the jury management phase of the game.  Whether you love, like, or dislike “Survivor Borneo”, you cannot deny that the social dynamics of the game were quite different.  Unlike future seasons, the contestants on “Borneo” had no primer, no example to follow.  This meant that it was more acceptable for big personalities to shine through, even be a little abrasive at times.  It also meant that the jury voted largely based on merit, one of the few times this has ever happened on “Survivor”, though some would argue.  Gervase, you will note, has not been shy about showing his bombastic personality, and even allowing it alienate people by just how blunt he can be.  This is because Gervase hasn’t figured out that you can’t do that anymore.  The jury now votes based mainly on likeability and how badly betrayed they were by each person, and one has to make nice to them, or else they can’t win.  For some reason, Gervase hasn’t grasped this fact, and it leads to his downfall with the jury.

Back to Monica, though, we see that she’s rather fed up with Gervase, and talks with Ciera about the possibility of flipping.  She informs them of Tyson’s idol, but thinks Tyson won’t play it tonight, as he thinks everyone is safe.  In fact, Tyson talks about keeping it as a souvenir for Rachel.  For the record, I HATE it when people talk about not playing the idol at the last Tribal Council it can be used at.  I understand the desire for a souvenir, but it’s stupid gameplay.  You have the ability to keep either yourself or an ally safe, thus bettering your own chances in some way, take it!  It’s a risk that gains you nothing, even if it pays off!

Fortunately, Tyson does not make an idiotic move, as after a fairly bland Tribal Council, at which Monica once again whines that she’s not getting the respect she deserves as a swing vote, he gives the idol to Gervase.  This is a good move, as Tyson has stated that he wants to go to the end with Monica and Gervase, but there’s danger of Monica flipping.  By protecting Gervase, he guarantees that tonight’s boot (Ciera, I guess Gervase got his way) will go down as planned.  His move was ultimately unnecessary, as Monica voted for Ciera as well, but a good safety net anyway.

As to Ciera’s exit, I’m surprisingly sorry to see her go.  Granted, of the people getting votes, I’d rather it have been her, and I think her early game was pretty weak, but she learned, made good moves, and just became something of a fun strategist to watch.  Politics aside, I look forward to her eventual return on another season.

This makes the Final Four all returnees.  Well done, loved ones.  Even the pathetic, underdog Fan Tribes on “Fans vs. Favorites” seasons always managed to get at least one person in the Final Four.

Morning comes, and Tina is naturally tense, as she correctly assumes that she has to win the Final Immunity Challenge to have any hope of making it to the finals.  Given that the final immunity challenge is endurance, more often than not, which would play to Tina’s strengths.

First, though, Tina has to get through the “Fallen Comrades” Tribute.  I always look forward to this, as it’s a nice send-off for everyone who played the game.  Regardless of how good they were at the game, or how far they made it, they still went out to compete, and deserve to be honored for it.  This season, it’s particularly appropriate and touching, as with family members out there, there’s a much more personal connection to people you weren’t even on a tribe with.  Truly, a touching, lovable ceremony.

That’s what I’d like to say, but the producers, in their wisdom, have decided to do away with the “Fallen Comrades” Tribute this season.  Smart, guys, real smart.

Please tell me you knew that was sarcasm.

To add insult to injury, our final challenge is NOT endurance, but a generic obstacle course.  Joy.  I’m not in the camp that EVERYTHING on “Survivor” is sacred, but I feel that things like the final immunity challenge being endurance-based are, and am naturally annoyed when they change them.  Still, at least there’s no immunity advantage this time around, the water slide element kind of works for reasons I can’t explain, and a few of the obstacles are unique this season, so it’s not a TERRIBLE obstacle course.  Plus, solving a puzzle to solve another puzzle for the combination lock is always fun.

Tina, being the oldest of the group, falls behind quickly.  Gervase and Monica seem to be the frontrunners, Monica with a slight edge after checking Gervase on the stairs, but it’s Tyson who pulls out the victory.  I would be happy for him, but in winning he pulls a dick move.  A vile move.  A move so evil, it earns him his “Villain” status: HE SNUBS A TINA CONGRATULATORY HUG!  That woman looks like she gives the best hugs, and given that you’ve probably crushed her spirit by winning, it’s UNBELIEVABLY gracious of her.  How DARE YOU, good sir?

It seems that not even losing can crush Tina’s spirit, though, as she works on Monica to try and force a tie, as revenge for Tyson’s giving the idol to Gervase (it was framed by Tina as a sign of mistrust).  This is where the episode falls apart for me.  While I appreciate Tina’s effort, I just don’t buy that Monica will flip, and Tyson and Gervase’s cavalier attitudes are just painful to watch.  Tribal is little better, and Tina goes home with little fanfare.  I must admit, though, I do miss her, to a degree.  For all that I think she showed more of her dark side on this season than any other, she does seem a genuinely nice person, and as I’ve said, I love her perseverance, so in that regard, I’m sorry for her exit.

When will I ever get an exciting Day 39?  There have been ones in the past, but all the ones I’ve blogged have been non-entities.  They eat their breakfast, comment on their chances at Final Tribal, and then head off.

At Final Tribal, Gervase starts off affairs with an average Final Jury speech.  He points out the steep learning curve he had having been out the game for 13 years, and also points out that he made many big moves in the game, even beyond Tyson, citing voting of Aras as a prime example.  A decent argument, but reminding Aras that you’re why he’s out of the game might not be the best move, dude.  Monica does worse, at least in my book, by saying that her goal was to get out of Brad’s shadow.  She claims she did so… by never making a move in the game.  Not seeing the logic here, Monica.  Finally, Tyson goes with an emotional appeal about how Rachel’s exit was his driving force in the game.  Maybe it’s how strategic he’s been this season, but I didn’t entirely buy it.  Seemed a bit of crocodile tears to me.

Vytas is up first for the jury questions, which surprises me, as he seemed the likely candidate for “Bitter Juror” this season, and “Survivor” usually hates to play its cards early like that.  But no, Vytas is quite composed, telling Tyson he won’t vote for him, on the grounds that he (Vytas) swore that if Tyson voted him off when he did, he (Vytas) would not vote for him.  He then warns Monica and Gervase that he’ll be listening closely to the pair of them, and deciding who to go for from there.

Evidently Tina got to help pick the order, as Katie is up next, no doubt in an attempt to force the pairing of them that Tina so desires.  Katie asks Tyson why she should vote for him, when he was kind of mean to her upon her exit.  Tyson responds partly jokingly, but fields the question ok.  Caleb is next up, asks Gervase what moves he made in the game, to which Gervase gives a vague answer, and asks Monica to explain a bit more about how she opened up as a person.  This leads to a Monica crying scene.  Don’t worry, we’ll have plenty more in a bit.  Ciera is afterward, and once again wants Gervase and Monica to explain themselves.  Frankly, this was generic and boring, and so I will not dwell on it.  Hayden wants similar answers, which leads to another Monica crying scene.  After that, we transition to ANOTHER Monica crying scene with Laura, who for once seems satisfied.  If it isn’t obvious by now, I don’t consider these good persuasion.  Crying maybe once at a strategic point, like Tyson did, can earn you jury votes, but doing it too often just makes you look weak in the eyes of the jury.

Our final two jurors are also our former winners.  Tina is up first, with the fairly unique question of describing yourself in one word.  Monica’s answer is boring, unmemorable, and has no impact on her standing, Gervase’s answer of “Honorable” probably lost him any votes, given that his actions contradict him, what with the “Voting out Aras’ angle, and Tyson’s answer of “Fun-Loving” was honest and inoffensive, probably the best way to handle things, possibly earning him a few jury votes.  Aras also has a zinger of a question, asking each in turn to say who of the other two they think should win and why.  Gervase and Monica both say Tyson, due to his great gameplay, while Tyson responds with Monica, as she was always the flip vote for him.

Well, with those jury performances, you might guess that Tyson would win.  You would be correct.  I certainly can’t begrudge him the win, guy played a good game.  He’s just not one of my favorites.  Good for him.

In fact, you could say that’s my opinion of the season overall: Good, but not one of my favorites.  I know a lot of people are praising this season for adding new strategies we’d never seen before, having a nice, hard-working (strategy-wise) intelligent cast, and these are all true.  However, I must argue the first point, as while we did get new strategy, I doubt it will impact much on the game as a whole, because it is so specific to this twist of “Survivor”.  Where else will deciding how the other tribe will take your vote off have such an impact?  Furthermore, a lot of the good, I think, comes from just avoiding how awful this season could have been.  It avoided, by and large, the twist turning into “How many family relationships can we tear apart?”, it got rid of a lot of the annoying people no one wanted back early on (read “Colton” for “annoying people no one wanted back”), and brought something new to the game, as well as several unpredictable episodes.  For me, though, these are just average things, and even though I hated the twist least here, I’m sorry, the addition of Redemption Island really drags the season down for me.  Yeah, it was good, but it only seems REALLY good for having avoided it’s pitfalls early on, which is not something to be praised in my book.  I wouldn’t MIND seeing the twist again, but I’d like a nice long gap beforehand.  5-10 years ought to do it.  Call me a traditionalist, but I prefer a more classic “Survivor” format.

But I suppose you people want me to comment on the Reunion show.  Well, it was a vast improvement from last year, I grant you that, but on the other hand, that’s not saying much.  I’m happy that everyone’s up on stage this year, I like that they’re taking fan questions (even if said questions are pretty generic), and I enjoyed that Probst did a good job of talking to pretty much everybody who played, or at least getting them in the shot.  With the exception of Marissa, I think everybody got to speak their piece, so that’s a plus.  Also, the tribute to Tina’s son and Katie’s brother was, I though, well-timed and well-done.  Since I haven’t officially expressed it, Tina and Katie, if you’re reading this blog, I’m very sorry for your loss, and wish you the best of luck in the grieving process, and in all your endeavors in the future.  Also, I’m very flattered that actual contestants are reading my blog.

What I must complain about, however, are the Cochran segment and the manner of revealing the upcoming season.  While this was nowhere near as bad as the “Survivor Caramoan” finale in terms of contestant cameos, I’m sorry, it just felt inappropriate and too soon.  The Reunion is supposed to be about CURRENT contestants, not those who just got off an earlier season.  While I admit the segment wasn’t TOO long, and was kind of funny, I’d already seen it on the internet, and took away time from the other contestants, which is NOT ok.  As to the reveal, I’ve expressed my annoyance with it before, especially given how obvious the twist for the new season was after the first clue.  The twist, by the way, is “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty”, and I’m actually pretty excited for it.  I’ve advocated a “Brains vs. Brawn” season for a long time, and am quite pleased to see it being realized in some sense.  My one complaint is that I conceived it as another form of “All-Stars” season, and I don’t want that.  We’ve had a lot of returnees lately, I’m ready for an entirely new batch.

Let’s wrap up the old batch beforehand, though, with my usual assessment of how accurate my pre-game assessment was:

Gervase: Well, he didn’t win it all, and he wasn’t as charming as I thought, but he actually had decent gameplay behind his brazen personality, and he made it almost as far as I thought, so I’ll chalk this one up as a victory.

Marissa: Pretty wrong.  She wasn’t considered as much of an asset as I though, and left earlier, but at least she was about as tough as I expected.

Tina: I can’t really say I was wrong, but given that I kind of hedged my bets on Tina, I can’t say I was right either.  She turned out to still be pretty tough and smart gameplay-wise, but just didn’t have the numbers on her side to win.

Katie: Wrong.  While she did step up her game somewhat later, she never quite got the smarts I was hoping for, and was a target too often for me to say I was right about her.  She did make it fairly far, though.

Rupert: Dead right, for once.  Even sacrificed himself for his wife, he loved her so much.

Laura B.: Pretty wrong, again.  She was tough, but was on the outs socially from the get-go, and never had much of a strategy of her own.

Aras: Wrong.  I guess I never realized how much of a strategist he was, even beyond conflict management.  If nothing else, this season I respect him more as a player, stupid mountaintop-meditating-when-you-should-be-strategizing and all.

Vytas: Oh, so very wrong!  Guy was smarter and calmer than I expected, and I’m glad for it.

Candice: So wrong.  Man, I’m off this season.  I didn’t realize how much pre-game alliances, and being a latecomer to the group would affect perceptions of Candice.  She was out early.

John: Just as I say I’m always wrong, I get one right.  I slightly overestimated his time in the game, but got his play style and reason for leaving just about right.

Tyson: Wrong, obviously, since I didn’t predict his strategic dominance or ultimate victory.  I stand firm with my stance on his jokes, though.

Rachel: Right.  Enough said.

Laura M.: A mixed bag, here.  She lasted as long as I thought, but not due to her strategy, but due to Redemption Island.  Suppose that counts as a “Wrong”, but given how many of them I have already, I’m not inclined to add unnecessary ones.

Ciera: Wrong.  One of the LEAST emotional people out there, she actually made it pretty far.  What a pleasant surprise.

Monica: Wrong.  Clearly she learned her lesson, and although whiny, her game improved for it.

Brad: Completely right.  Nailed personality and time in the game.  I think “Ace” from “Survivor Gabon” is an apt comparison.

Colton: Right in most cases, but I’m still surprised he wasn’t first out.

Caleb: I got his personality down, but Colton wasn’t as huge a detriment to him as I thought.

Kat: Totally wrong.  Kat dug her own grave, and didn’t have a chance to pull a “Rob and Amber” (“Survivor All-Stars”).

Hayden: Closer to right, but the guy was tougher than I thought, and didn’t need a solid ally in Kat to play a good game.  I wouldn’t mind seeing him back, either.

Well, I suppose that’s it.  I know it’s customary for me to do a “Top 5 and Botton 5” on the final episode, but it’s late during Finals Week, and I don’t really have a good idea for a list.  I could do “Hidden Immunity Idols”, but I’m sure that’ll come up at a later date.  Sorry for the relative lack of content on this finale, but there just wasn’t a whole lot to say.  I’ll be on hiatus for a bit, as this break between seasons seems too short to merit bonus content, but check back in a month when I post my cast assessment for “Survivor Cagayan”.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 13: Days of Our Islands

Frankly, this episode should have been titled “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”.  No word describes this episode better than “blah”.  Let us waste no time in moving beyond it, and getting to the hopefully more exciting, and not gut-wrenchingly painful finale.

Seeing as how we haven’t been holding to tradition enough this season, let’s start off by looking in at Redemption Island, where Katie is consoled by Laura and Tina.  Katie discusses drawing rocks, and Laura pointlessly chastises Katie for drawing first.  Mother of the year, here, people.  Well, we do get a slightly more interesting debate when Tina suggests to Katie that she (Tina) might purposefully lose the challenge to keep Katie in the game.  While I understand Tina’s viewpoint, and given how sweet of a person she seems, I’m sure the offer is genuine, but I must ask, Tina HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???  I understand that you love your daughter and all, but this is a GAME.  An INDIVIDUAL GAME nonetheless, and your daughter is a threat to you.  She’s an easy victory, don’t go along helping her if you can avoid it.  And for that matter, if you argue that she and her daughter are playing the game in tandem, and trying to make sure one of them wins, if anything, your daughter should be volunteering to lose for you!  You’ve proven yourself to be smarter, both strategically and in terms of puzzles, and you have experience playing the game before, which is a HUGE advantage.  But you know what’s even stupider than Tina’s offer to lose the challenge?  Katie’s not accepting it!  Katie, dear, you’re nice, but you need all the help you can get, it’s largely by luck you landed here.  When someone offers you a free pass, you take it, no questions asked!

Oy, maybe some more interesting things will be happening at Kasama.  Ciera is going around hugging everyone, while Monica is thanking Tyson and Gervase for not voting her off in the re-vote.  Way to make your allies trust you, Monica.  Admit that you didn’t trust them to stay loyal, that’ll keep them on your side.  Tyson and Gervase hide their strategic sides, though, and tell Monica that it’s because they like her, rather than the actual reason (strategy).  Tyson then gives his trademark snark about Monica’s general annoyingness, and admits to her that he has the idol to prevent her being paranoid about Hayden and Ciera.  Given how panicky Monica has shown herself to be, I must admit this is a good move on Tyson’s part.  Monica gives us a throwaway line about how after that reveal, she doesn’t trust Tyson as much, which I’m SURE means that the seeds of doubt have been sewn, and that Monica will totally throw off the yoke of her oppressor this time around.  Well, at least she gives us a funny bit about dragging Ciera over a line in the sand.  Yes, rub salt in the wound of the guy you were just trying to vote out, while simultaneously trying to bring back into the fold a person who just betrayed you, that’s the smartest strategy ever.

Morning comes, and we DON’T head to Redemption Island.  No complaints here.  Instead, we get a talk between Ciera and Hayden, which, though bland, is at least better than Redemption Island.  Ciera admits that she’s happy that she betrayed Tyson, Gervase, and Monica.  Really, Ciera?  You’re HAPPY that you went from being in the majority alliance, with a chance at hitting the final Tribal Council if you played your cards right, to being in the minority alliance with pretty much no shot at making it to the end?  Well, if that suits you.

The pair come up with the plan of “Win immunity and find the hidden idol”.  Oh, so original, but admit that they need a fallback.  Their fallback is specifically Monica, who, since her emotions and paranoia are at the forefront at this point, they’ll say that Tyson and Gervase have been mocking her behind her back (which they have, but not quite to the degree that they say), and try and get her to flip.  Not a bad fallback plan.  My only question is WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THIS SOONER?

Oh well, we head to Redemption Island, where we see that we’re rehashing the “Prison Break” challenge originally seen on “Survivor Thailand”.  Actually, as challenges go, it’s not a bad one to rehash.  It works pretty well on a small scale, it’s been done fairly often but not too often, it’s pretty difficult, and it’s fun to watch.  Fun to LISTEN TO, not so much.  I’m normally a fan of Probst narration, but this one turned the schmaltz dial so far, it broke the machine.  You get Tina crying again about having to face her daughter, which has gotten old exceedingly fast, and on top of that, during the challenge, Probst’s narration goes so over the top, that you’d swear that this whole thing suddenly turned into a soap opera.  In fact…

ANNOUNCER: Next week, it’s the episode fans will be talking about for the rest of the show.

TINA: I might lose for you.

ANNOUNCER: It’s mother…

TINA: I’m just not sure I want to beat my little girl!

ANNOUNCER: Against daughter!

KATIE: Go on Mom.

ANNOUNCER: It’s literal Blood vs. Water here.  Will either of them make the ultimate sacrifice?  Go through with their hardest challenge?

TINA: I’m just so proud…

ANNOUNCER: You won’t want to miss this heartbreaking episode of “Days of Our Islands”.

It’s amazing how well it fits.

I suppose the one GOOD thing about the challenge is that we get Tina turning Laura’s own strategy against her, shouting advice to Katie in the hope that they could both make it through this.  At least this is semi-decent strategy.  Keep your allies in the game, I can work with that.  It comes to nothing though, as, here’s a shock, Laura WINS!  Gee, haven’t seen THAT before, now have we, boys and girls?  This leads to a mother-daughter duel, that would have been a nice moment, were it not for the over-the-top Probst narration hammering in the point of what I hate about this season.  Now, the discussion that Tina had with Katie beforehand, I don’t mind, as it was framed with the debate of “How do you mix emotion with strategy?”, but Probst takes it and turns it into a “If you don’t do X, you don’t really love someone”, which is just where I DIDN’T want the season to go.  Man, Probst, you’ve been off this season.  Is there something wrong.

Katie actually seems to be making a good effort, but then drops her second key by accident.  This gives Tina enough of an opening to win the challenge, despite constantly asking her daughter if she (Katie) would like her (Tina) to forfeit.  Say “yes” Katie.  Show some brains for once!  But no, Tina comes in second, and while it was painful to watch Katie pass up opportunity after opportunity, I can’t say I’m sorry.  She didn’t really impact the game, got lucky in a lot of cases, and was just an overall bland, boring character.  You want to know hand bland and boring she was? She doesn’t even get an interview AT HER OWN EXIT!  Seriously, Probst talks to Tina and Laura instead.  I admit Katie doesn’t give great interviews, but that’s just insulting, Probst!  On top of that, it gives us more over the top emotion, complete with overdramatic music, which I’m just sick to death of.

Well, enough with the semi-emotional moment, let’s make it comedic by having Laura push around Probst and hand-deliver the clue to her daughter.  Not that it helps, as she and Hayden idol hunt in vain (incidentally, Hayden’s gotta be pretty pissed off about that whole “The idol is on the ground.” lie), while Gervase and Tyson take the time to bond with Monica, ensuring her loyalty.  I know that’s a great summarization, but let’s face it, not a lot of import happens in this segment.

Yes, our terrible rehash today comes NOT from Redemption Island, but from the immunity/reward challenge.  Specifically, we get the “Survivor Vanuatu” style “Push something through a water-based ropes course, and then solve a puzzle” challenge.  Generic.  Cliched.  An insult to original challenge design?  All of the above words describe this challenge.  At least the puzzle is kind of original in its execution and solution.  I admit, I had a hard time coming up with the typical Probst phrase (in part because I didn’t have access to all the letters), until people got up to “You’re going to have…”.  Then I got it.  For the record, the solution was, “You’re going to have to dig deep.”, which is a Probstism, but not a common one.  Good job, puzzle department.

In one of the few actual surprises this episode, CIERA of all people wins, after a close puzzle race, and Tyson and Gervase don’t bat an eyelash, because that leaves Hayden vulnerable anyway.  Now Ciera has immunity, and also the reward of any meal she orders right there on the beach.  Say, does anyone besides me remember the good old days when rewards could take you AWAY from camp, and how exciting that was?  Just another of the lovely benefits of Redemption Island: Killing off-camp individual rewards stone dead!  But Ciera gets to invite someone on the meal, and predictably picks Hayden.  Not a terrible choice, but if you’re going to work Monica anyway, why not invite her?  It would make her happy, give you more time to talk, and keep her away from Tyson and Gervase, who could sweet-talk her into loyalty.

As we see that Ciera and Hayden are idiots by ordering a cheeseburger and a pizza respectively, when steak was on the menu, we also see that, shock of all shocks, Tyson and Gervase sweet-talk Monica.  Even so, she stills seems to be harboring doubts after Ciera really lays into, though admittedly, Ciera does expertly counter Monica’s point of “Why would they stay loyal at the revote?” with the answer of “They’d be down in numbers”.  A for effort, but I still don’t buy it.  Can’t say exactly why, except that maybe the editing is trying too hard, but I just don’t see Monica flipping.

The irony is it’d probably be in her best interest to flip.  She’s pretty much reviled by the jury anyway, so she can’t win against anyone.  Might as well make yourself seem like less of a pawn towards them, and possibly beat Ciera.  True, you pretty much can’t beat Hayden, but unless the jury is EXTREMELY bitter, you can’t beat Tyson or Gervase either.  Better to take the risk in this situation.

The one good point about this episode is Tribal, where we get a lot of good wordplay sparring, and good points made by everyone (save Monica).  No one moment stands out to me, but it was a nice, strategic tribal.  In the end, anticlimax rules and Hayden is sent home.  Surprisingly, I’m a little sorry to see him go.  Yeah, he was generic for most of the show, but of late, he showed strategic chops, and could give the occasional funny soundbyte.  Good for you, Hayden, you’ve avoided “Survivor” obscurity.

Normally this is where I’d analyze the chances of the finalists, but I can’t do that because we don’t KNOW all the finalists yet.  Thank you Redemption Island!  God, I’m ready for the finale.  This episode was particularly boring, and while this season has surpassed my expectations, it’s still not the best, but I’ll talk more about that in the finale episode.

See you on Sunday!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 12: A Black-Rock-Tie Affair

Our “Survivor” special today is a rare treat flown in from the Marquesas.  It’s our fabulous Stone Soup: A delightfully rare mixture, left to spoil by commercials that blatantly give away the outcome of the Tribal Council, with a piquant taste that ends in a thrilling anti-climax.  Truly, this is only the stuff of “Survivor” connoisseurs.

A delightful tease, to be sure, but we need to hit the main “Survivor” course before we get to dessert.  It seems our appetizer today is Hayden Flambé, so overstuffed that it’s overflowing.  Yes, these sorts of rants are a rare treat, only found by one fueled with rage at the loss of a close ally.  Granted the stuffing is nothing unusual, just the sort of “You’re giving the game to one person” rant.  While somewhat annoying and cliché, it does often ring true to the game situation when it’s given.  The Zapatera tribe of “Survivor Redemption Island” rejected this course, and perhaps that’s why they’re now slaving away in the kitchens of failure.  However, I’m certain that everyone here will at least somewhat seriously consider taking in this delicious…

GERVASE: I’M BEHIND THIS, MAN!

ME: Excuse me, sir, this is a fine “Survivor” Restaurant, after all, and I really must ask that you keep the volume down.

GERVASE: SCREW THAT NOISE!  I HAVEN’T BEEN GETTING NEARLY ENOUGH SCREEN TIME, AND IF REALITY TV HAS TAUGHT ME ANYTHING, IT’S THAT YELLING OBNOXIOUSLY THROUGHOUT AN EPISODE IS A SURE TICKET TO MORE SCREEN TIME.

ME: Very well, sir, but could you at least refrain from turning Hayden’s point into a joke.  I certainly accept that it doesn’t apply to you, as you’re in a good position.  I mean, you’ve had enough of a strategy that you can make an argument that you planned things, and Tyson seems to be taking the flak off of you.  There’s no reason for you to betray him right now, it’s disadvantageous.  For others, however…

GERVASE: THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT, MAN!  I’M IN A PHENOMENAL POSITION, I’VE JUST GOT TO MAKE SURE THAT NOBODY ELSE SEES IT.  BY MAKING HAYDEN SEEM LIKE A JOKE, I PREVENT PEOPLE FROM ALLYING WITH HIM.  BESIDES, I’M THE ONE BEHIND THINGS!  I’VE HAD MY HAND ON TYSON’S BACK THE ENTIRE TIME!

ME: Please, sir, I don’t need to hear what you and Tyson have been up to when no one’s looking.

GERVASE: ALL RIGHT, I GUESS THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW, BUT DON’T LET THAT FOOL YOU!  I’LL BE BACK SOON ENOUGH.

Ugh, with that ruffian quieted down for the moment, I can introduce our next course.  A delicacy from Gabon: Stacked Deck-Sticks coated in Redemption Island Sauce.  Redemption Island sauce makes everything taste terrible, but our head chef, Jeff Probst, insist upon bringing it back.  I comfort myself that all it’s doing is making a mediocre dish look even more mediocre.  As I’ve stated before, I can’t stand Stacked Deck-Stick challenges.  Making a tower of cards just seems very un-“Survivor”, and this one does not even have the Balancing Bisque to offset the flavor.  The sooner this course is finished, the better.

Of course, no fine dinner is complete without table talk, and with Caleb, talk quickly turns to geographic relations.  Specifically, Caleb is calling the “Southerners Mean what they Say”  card, and cites Utah and Philadelphia as counter examples, clearly trying to single out and bait Gervase and Tyson.  Gervase takes the plunge, oddly not using the “It’s a game” argument, but instead opting to point out that Caleb himself betrayed Gervase and Tyson first.  Normally I’m not a fan of the times our guests use this argument, but in this case it’s actually justified, so I won’t throw any of them out.  Yet.

Still, for those in the “Duelist Suite”, it’s time to pay the bill, or else go home.  Laura Morett manages to pay things off easily, no surprises there, but finds that there’s no helping Tina out this time.  Indeed, talking to your opponent seems to be more of a detriment.  Neither Tina nor Caleb is able to pay in full, but a last minute wallet drop by Caleb that sends his money scattering around leads to his eviction.  Saddened, Head Chef Jeff Probst comes out to console Caleb with even more blatant and less pertinent leading questions than those served to Aras and Vytas.  Caleb does give us a funny line about how all he and Colton have in common is being male, and then leaves with little fanfare.  I’m not particularly sorry.  Though the man was good for a bit of a shake-up every now and again, he just wasn’t as good at the art of conversation as everyone else.

Ah yes, back to the Kasama Banquet Hall.  I see our next course of Idol-Hunting Stew has been served, and Laura has asked for a clue to be placed in Ciera’s bowl, and she decides to hold onto it, and smartly share it with her new allies Tyson, Gervase, and Monica.  The clue essentially reads as follows:

“The idol’s in a tree

that’s on the path to water.

If you can’t interpret that

you must be a big nutter.”

Poetry?  I think not, but it does get the alliance searching.  Hayden and Katie wisely decide to tail them and hunt as well, as the idol is pretty much Hayden’s only hope for not getting relegated to the “Duelist Suite”.  It seems that the alliance is one step ahead of him, however, and tricks him into thinking it’s on the ground.  Now if only Judd Sergeant of “Survivor Guatemala” had been that subtle.

Well, after a bit of searching, Tyson finds the idol again, thus somewhat nullifying his playing of it last episode.  He once again decides to hide it from his dining companions and… Please, sir, there’s no need to cry!  And you’re ruining the stew.  Look, I’m sure you love your girlfriend, and were sad when she left, but you can’t have come back to the game only for her.  Where’s the fight you had in you?

Ah well, while he’s getting his emotions in order, let’s check in on the conversation.  It seems that Hayden is talking to Gervase about not playing for second and how Gervase should join with himself and Katie and… wait, Gervase is in this conversation.  No.  No!  NO!  Stop right…

GERVASE: HAYDEN’S ONLY FOOLING HIMSELF, MAN!  THERE’S NO WAY I’D GO WITH HIM!  I’M SET UP WITH TYSON RIGHT NOW.  NO SENSE NOT KEEPING MY OPTIONS OPEN, BUT STILL, NOT GONNA FLIP RIGHT NOW.

ME: Once again, sir, you show great common sense, but I do wish you’d do it at a lower volume.

In any case, it’s time for the main course of this episode: Immunity Challenge Medley!  We’ve gathered the finest ingredients from around the “Survivor” World to bring you this dish.  We start off boldly with “Hold the small thing on the pole of ever-increasing length” from Samoa, give the flavor a kick with Balance Beam Bouillabaisse all the way from Borneo, and end in an unsatisfying, lackluster finish of Bamboo Shoot Knockdown from the Philippines.  And, as a kicker, it’s a la mode!  While the ending is a bit lame, and leaves something to be desired, this is still one of the best dishes we’ve served all season.  It’s a unique combination of flavors that will be remembered and retasted for hours afterward, and is a daring combination of skills that leaves at least this connoisseur thoroughly satisfied.

My, my!  I’ve never seen people eat with such gusto.  Big eater Monica seems to be the frontrunner, no surprise, but Gervase is right in there, and Tyson’s somehow still in the game at the end.  For once, a surprise: our victor is Gervase this time.  Most excellent job, sir.

GERVASE: AW YEAH, BABY!  YOU DON’T KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!

ME: Well, you’ve earned it.  And the big surprise this week is that it’s buy 1 get 2 free.  Two other tablemates will also be receiving the a la mode.

GERVASE: OH YEAH!  I’M GOING WITH MONICA AND TYSON!

ME: Excellent choices, sir.  They reaffirm your alliance, and surprise no one.  Plus, by inviting several people, you make it so that at worst, you split the vote evenly.

But it seems there’s been a complaint.  Hayden does not think that eating a la mode right at the table is dignified, and uses this as a conversation starter with Ciera.  He points out, rightly I might add, that’s she’s fourth, and it might be good for her to therefore jump ship and hopefully have a shot at the final three.  When she seems hesitant, Hayden pulls the “Gervase is with us.” play in the hope that Gervase is actually with them.  Gervase looks up from his a la mode long enough to inform Hayden that he isn’t, as there’s no strategic to either himself or Ciera.  Himself, I’ll agree with, but not Ciera.  While I personally would rather have Tyson, Gervase, and Monica around to the end, Ciera’ best move, at this point, is to vote off one of the three, thereby securing herself as a strategic threat, and also ensuring that she’s in the final 3, a truly desirable table setting if ever there was one.  However, she flatly rejects the offer along with Gervase.  I’m sure nothing else will come of it.

Before we serve up the final course, I think it’s time for some closing speeches.  We’ve heard most of them, expertly picked apart and twisted by Hayden to try and get Ciera to flip.  I must admit, though the outcome seems a foregone conclusion, he’s doing an amazing job of arguing his case.  Why, I’m almost tempted to join him, and I’m not even attending the dinner.  Only one person has yet to speak.

GERVASE: THAT’S BULL!

ME: What is, sir?

GERVASE: WHAT HAYDEN JUST SAID ABOUT CIERA BEING ON THE BOTTOM!  WE’VE BEEN STRAIGHT UP WITH HER FROM THE BEGINNING, WE’RE HONEST GUYS WHEN PEOPLE ARE HONEST WITH US.

ME: Frankly, sir, that’s the TRUE bullshit.  And really, can you quiet down?  They can hear you over in the “Duelist Section”.  They’re laughing their heads off right now at that statement.

GERVASE: I DON’T CARE IF IT’S FALSE!  I DON’T CARE IF IT ISN’T HELPING MY POSITION AT ALL.  IT’S THE TRUTH, OR AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT I WANT CIERA TO THINK.  AND IF IT DOES COME TO A TIE, YOU CAN BET I’M GOING TO MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE BY INSISTING UPON DRAWING ROCKS, AND NOT LEAVING ANY ROOM FOR DIPLOMACY.

This needs to end, and it needs to end now.  I’m skiving off my shift early so that I don’t have to put up with any more of Gervase’s yelling.  Still, I should probably finish summing up the episode.  Against all odds, Ciera does the right thing twice, and for the first time since “Survivor Marquesas”, we go to a tiebreaker of drawing rocks.  I would say purple rocks, but it seems that while the rocks were to have been color-coordinated to the season originally, they’ve now stopped doing that so as to stock the same rocks, and are simply going with black and while.  Either that, or “Survivor” is now sponsored by the Black Panthers, as when drawing rocks, black is good and white is bad.  Pretty much everyone agrees to do the rocks, though Tyson (one of the three now vulnerable, along with Katie and Ciera) tries to diplomacy things away, to no avail.  In the end, we get a major anticlimax of Katie going home, and I’m certainly not sorry.  Though she was my female pick to win the whole thing, and she did pretty well, she was just kind of boring.  even Hayden managed to redeem himself this episode with great strategic gameplay.  Overall, I have to say I was also happy to see a tie that was NOT AT THE FINAL 4 for the first time in a long time.  So, why do I call it spoiled?  Well, because the commercials on tv left ABSOLUTELY no doubt that they were going to rocks. I could understand HINTING that the rocks might be drawn.  Indeed, that might even have been more surprising, as most would assume that the commercial would exaggerate, and then turn out to be true.  But no, they outright say that the rocks will be drawn, eliminating the tension from the episode for all who saw it.  The anticlimactic result was also a downer, though I am overall happy with the outcome, and had to admit there was some logic to Gervase’s insistence on going to rocks.  His alliance only had a 33.4% chance of losing that gamble, to a 66.6% chance for the others.

So yeah, I liked this episode for some rare events and GREAT strategy (even if Gervase was a bit annoying), but before I end it off, since I’ve never had the chance before, let me give my thoughts on the use of the rock tiebreaker.  I’m of two minds about this strategy, as when I first came upon it, I despised it.  It seemed totally unfair to me that the people who were voted for become immune, and I just couldn’t find any logic to it.  In the intervening years, however, I have overcome the issue of “fairness” on “Survivor”, and have also figured out the motive for this particular tiebreaker method.  Specifically, it discourages ties.  I suspect some focus group somewhere said that ties aren’t good tv, and so by making yourself vulnerable by forcing a tie, it discourages them.  On the other hand, I contest the “ties aren’t good tv” bit, by pointing out how marketable this tie was for the show.  Overall, I still don’t like it very much, and think the true thing to do would be to have the people voted for draw rocks, but I can sympathize with the producers.

Things are heating up, so I’d better cool off.  See you next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 11: Painful, yet Delicious

Remember all those nice things I said about Ciera last episode?   How she was an underappreciated strategist who knew just when to cut her loved ones loose?  Yeah, I take that all back.  She did a pretty good job last episode, but she really just WRECKED her position this episode.  I mean, she came out on top, so I guess it’s all right, all things considered, but still, this was a MAJOR strategic gaffe for Ciera.

Let’s take things from the top, however.  We start off at Kasama, where, true to form, everyone is trying to comfort the loved one of the boot, in this case, Ciera.  For once, though, the loved one doesn’t need consoling, as Ciera admits that she is oddly ok with the whole situation.  Don’t let her outward appearance fool you, though.  Ciera cares deeply about her mom.  She loves her very much, and is torn up about voting her out.  You can tell by how she stares blankly at the camera, while monotonously insisting that she really does care about her mom.  Deeply.  Truly.  Sincerely.

The rest of the cast takes this vote with varying degrees of apprehension.  Hayden seems pretty appalled that, as he puts it “Water won out over Blood”.  Really, guy, the title was dumb enough on its own, we don’t need you reminding us that it’s lame.  Tyson, on the other hand, is somewhat proud of her, knowing that it was a tough decision.  At the same time, however, he’s apprehensive, since this means that Ciera is playing hard, and consequently might be a threat to him.

But of course, we can’t get to our lack of an intro without a Redemption Island scene.  As Tina and Vytas confer, while Tina holds a teddy bear (nice touch), they agree that it’s more than likely that Katie is the one who got the boot.  Things seem to be confirmed when the bootee calls out “Mom!” to get their attention.  It turns out to be an actually funny joke, however, as it was Laura who got voted out.  This funny scene only lasts a short while, unfortunately, as we then get into Laura’s “I’m so Proud” speech again.  While I enjoyed it last episode, it’s gotten old REALLY fast, and I wish it would go away very quickly.  As such, we’ll skip over the rest of Redemption Island and head right to the challenge.

Once again, we get a combination challenge.  Duelists must push four blocks through a net (the concept of which comes from “Survivor Thailand”), and then use those blocks, which are colored on all sides, to create a tower 4 blocks high which has no duplicate colors on any sides (“Survivor Samoa”).  Like the last few duels, I really can’t find it in my heart to hate this challenge.  Yes, it’s reused, but it’s a combination of reused that we’ve never seen before.  While it’s lacking a bit in the physical challenge department,  it’s a pretty tough puzzle, particularly when one is dehydrated, starving, and presumably low on sleep.  I’ll give this season one thing: while I will never love or accept Redemption Island as a concept, I’m hating it less and less as the season goes on.

Probst tries to get Laura to cry and rant at her daughter on national tv, but once he sees that Laura’s gearing up for her “I’m so Proud” speech again, he quickly and rightly decides to drop the subject, and head straight to the challenge instead.  This one seems to me like more of a dead heat than the last one, but that might not be the case.  Tina falls quickly behind, even being lapped by both Vytas and Laura.  All three end up at the puzzle at the same time, though, and the race is on.  Laura finishes first, but this is not all that surprising.  Not only is Laura a challenge beast, but she’s also done this puzzle before.  At first she seems determined not to have another Kat situation on her hands, and spins her puzzle around so no one can look at it.  Later, though, she starts whispering the solution to Tina.  Given how loud her “whispering” is, I’m amazed Vytas can’t hear it, so I’m chalking it up to the microphones they put on people before challenges.  I have to admit, this surprised me.  It’s a bit of strategy I’ve never thought of before, but it’s clever: help the weaker person on Redemption Island, so you have an easier match to get back in the game.  Laura’s flaw, in my opinion, is choosing to help Tina.  I admit, on paper you’d want to get rid of Vytas as quickly as possible, but I think this is a fallacy.  While she’s no Vytas, Tina is pretty tough when it comes to challenges, and if you underestimate her, she’ll almost DEFINITELY come back to bite you.  On top of that, thus far challenges to get back in the game have been all about endurance, and the lighter, determined people are generally the biggest threats, not the guys with muscles.  Still, can’t fault the strategy in and of itself, only the target.

You also can’t fault its effectiveness, as Tina edges out Vytas by a manner of seconds, sending Vytas to the jury to hang with brother Aras.  This saddens me, as of the three, I least wanted Vytas to go.  He had some funny moments, was a likeable guy, and a more than decent strategist.  I look forward to seeing him in another “All-Stars” season.  Probst once again tries to get Vytas to give a big speech about his and Aras’ relationship, but Vytas rebukes him, and Probst lets the matter drop so Vytas can leave with dignity.

But then there’s that matter of the idol clue to deal with.  Laura, not too surprisingly, gives it to Ciera, who throws it in the fire.  Man, I love the look on Probst’s face when he sees it happening again, you know it’s killing him.  Still, to Ciera’s credit, this is the one smart move she makes all episode.  After last night, she needs hold true to the “Loyal to Tyson’s Alliance” ideal, and that means not taking a clue to make it look like you’re sneaking behind their backs.  Plus, it helps keep up her “I’ve already found the idol.” lie with Katie.  Good for you Ciera.  Enjoy the praise, it won’t last long.

Back at camp, we at long last get to the “good” part of the episode.  The quotation marks are because “good” refers to the entertainment value of said segment, not the quality of some of the strategy.  Tyson is, quite naturally, worried about his position in the game.  He wants Katie off badly, partly because she’s a jury threat, and partly because he wants to maintain control.  And for once, his fears are founded, as Hayden and Caleb have chosen this moment to break free of the shackles of Tyson.  Shock of all shocks, they’ve figured out that he’s a tough fight in the finals, and that therefore it might be wiser to take him out well before the end.  They seem to be talking two or three votes in advance, but when Caleb goes to let Katie in on the plan, he acts as though it’s the upcoming vote.  Um, might want to get your stories straight there, gents.  Well, it’s still a really good plan.  It pretty much guarantees either Hayden or Caleb a victory (as they’re both likeable and can claim to have been strategic), and gives Katie a solid alliance.  All they need is a fourth, and Ciera seems to be that fourth.

Once again the swing vote, Ciera is brought into the fold of Hayden and Caleb, who offer her final four to go with them.  Ciera agrees to their faces, but then admits to the cameras that she’s not buying it.  She thinks that they don’t know how to play the game, and that the experienced players are a safer bet.  Here’s where Ciera’s stupidity really shines through.  For one thing, she clearly hasn’t seen other seasons with returning players battling newcomers.  If you’re a newcomer, NEVER trust a returnee to the end.  Experience goes a long way in this game, and however good you think you are, they’ll run circles around you.  For another matter, her chances are better with Hayden and Caleb than with Tyson and Gervase (assuming that Gervase isn’t going anywhere, as long as Tyson has a say).  One could make the argument that Tyson and Gervase have annoyed more people, but I’d counter that Ciera has a better argument for being the brains behind everything with Hayden and Caleb.  Unless this is an EXCEPTIONALLY bitter jury, that’s likely to be her argument, and it works better with Hayden and Caleb.  Further, if they’re less skilled in the game, you want them in the end as they’re easier to beat.  I admit that it’s probably a tougher call than I’m making it out to be, but for my money, she should have gone with Hayden and Caleb.  Kept playing both sides, to be sure, but ultimately sided with Hayden and Caleb.  And to those complaining about my praising of her throwing away the clue earlier, when I said the benefit was showing loyalty to the Tyson alliance, and now saying she should go against it, I liked the move when the Tyson alliance was sticking together.  If they’re splitting, it changes things.

Generic scenes of Tyson and Gervase being paranoid follow before we get something completely different: HAYDEN being paranoid!  All the difference in the world.  Give the man props, though, he notices that Ciera and Tyson have become quite chummy, going off to tree mail in a very blatant display of power.  I would say he was being excessively paranoid, that one trip to tree mail means nothing, but in this case he’s actually right, so I have to chalk it up to smarts on his part.  Still, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Hayden had witnessed a few other chummy moments beforehand.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ENOUGH WITH THE REDONE CHALLENGES ALREADY!  Today’s challenge is from “Survivor Philippines”, in which tribe members have to hold a twisting bar with rope wrapped around it still as long as possible.  At the other end is a bucket of sand with a given percentage of their body weight.  Last person with a bucket in the air wins immunity.  This is probably one of the fairer challenges “Survivor” has ever done, due to having no perceptible gender bias (the men tend to have greater upper body strength, but the women tend to be lighter), but it just looks stupid and doesn’t hold my attention.  For another thing, IT’S NOT ORIGINAL!

Hey, Probst is announcing a twist!  Listen to that dramatic music, it must be something new and Earth-shattering to make up for this piss-poor challenge!  Nope, it’s the old “Eat-or-Compete” twist, now with annoying hashtag to match!  I do like this twist, and how it reveals the pecking order, but it’s often painful (and delicious) to watch, and it’s just been done to death, change it up already.

Sure enough, the pecking order is revealed as Tyson, Gervase, and Ciera all choose to sit out and eat.  If walking off to tree mail wasn’t an obvious indicator that Ciera was with Tyson and Gervase, this most certainly was.  This fuels Hayden’s desire to win, and he makes a good show of it.  He even puts up with Probst’s attempts to destroy the games of Tyson, Gervase, and Ciera by making them out to be similar to spectators at a gladiator match.  I’d say the metaphor would be more apt for Redemption Island, but that would insult Probst’s brainchild, and there’s no way he’d stand for that.  Not the most egregious example, as Probst has done similar commentary on those who eat in the past, but this somehow seems more mean-spirited, and serves as another instance of Probst influencing the game too much.

Despite Hayden’s best efforts, Monica takes home immunity.  Ok, I knew she was better in challenges than she looked, but I never realized she was this much of a BEAST!  Man, we need to start considering her a real physical threat.  Could do without the constant “I’m doing it for my kids” speech, though.

So we head back to camp and back in time, as Hayden is still going on about his paranoia over Ciera.  What I like, though, is that this time it’s more justified, and that he actually DOES SOMETHING ABOUT IT!  Take note, cast of “Survivor One World”.

Hayden’s solution is that, if he can’t get a majority with Ciera, but has Caleb and Katie loyal to him, he might as well make sure that, if not Tyson, it’s not himself, Caleb or Katie.  To this end, he and Caleb agree to go to Tyson, and make out that Ciera was lying, playing both sides, and therefore ought to be voted off.  Not a bad plan, but in my opinion, not an idea one.  True, should it work, they will tie for majority, but it’s be better to have majority outright, and to that end, I thought they should have approached Monica.  It’s unlikely to work, to be sure, but if they get her paranoid about Tyson (potentially bringing up her challenge wins as a reason she might be a target), and promise her final 3 (no one else has done that yet), she might go with it.  Not what I’d have done, but can’t fault the logic of their plan.

I find their performance for Tyson unconvincing, but Tyson does become suspicious, and Hayden seems to think that Tyson’s still on their side.  Caleb is unconvinced, perhaps because they’re targeting him over Hayden for no discernible reason, but we see that Tyson is talking things over with Gervase right before they head off to Tribal, which I have to say, is one of the better ones of the season.  Not a lot to say about it, but there were a lot of good social politicking moments, particularly Gervase’s appeal to Hayden fooling Hayden into thinking all was well.

But then, right before the votes are read, we see that Ciera is not the ONLY one who can make boneheaded moves.  Tyson, after comedically searching for it (I thought perhaps he was joking at first), plays his idol, in what was a completely pointless move.  It’s easy to say that, admittedly, as we all knew Tyson was not in actual danger this vote, and he had reason to be paranoid, but I’d argue he went to far.  Pretty much nothing Ciera said indicated that she would go against Tyson, and Hayden and Caleb would have had to put on quite an act to pull the wool over Tyson’s eyes that well.  Further, the downside to hiding the idol from everyone else is that it makes everyone paranoid about you once you reveal it.  I applaud Tyson’s cautions, but in this scenario, the risks outweigh the benefits.

Caleb goes home, in what I think was the smartest move for Tyson, Gervase, Ciera, and Monica.  While getting rid of Ciera might have kept the peace, Caleb’s a bigger threat overall (at least physically), is at least as likeable as Ciera, and gives them a solid majority, rather than a 3-3 tie with Hayden, Caleb, and Katie had they voted out Ciera.  As to Caleb’s leaving, I’m not sorry.  He wasn’t painful, unlikeable, or dumb, but his flashes of brilliance were scattered and infrequent, and compared to everyone else (save Katie) he’s just not that interesting.  I like the guy, but I won’t miss him.

As to this episode, despite the strategy not coming to much of anything, I liked it.  For all that I was prepared for letdown on the “Tyson May Go Home” plot, it still kept me guessing, and balanced out dumb strategy with intriguing strategy, and while it was the most edge-of-your-seat exciting episode ever, it was still a good watch.  Can’t wait for the next one!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 10: The Long Goodbye

Obvious outcome is obvious.  However, this is one of those rare episodes where I don’t actually mind that you could tell before the lack of an intro exactly who it was who would be going.  Yes, there was barely any suspense, but it had great editing, great clips, and even a good bit of strategy here and there.  Definitely the first good episode we’ve had since the merge, but let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves.

Fresh from Tribal Council, we get Katie lamenting her situation.  Strategize though she might, she just can’t seem to break the block set up by Tyson.  Still, she soldiers on, realizing that the next obvious recourse is to hunt like crazy for the hidden immunity idol.  The fact that Tyson has it means that this plan is pretty much worthless, but given the information Katie has at this point, it’s understandable.

Thankfully keeping a discreet distance, Ciera and Laura celebrate being the last pair in the game, despite the fact that Laura should have been gone about 12 days ago.  They keep it small and intimate, which is nice.  However, while Laura continues the nice sentiment in her private interview, Ciera is not so optimistic.  She correctly realizes that A: Her Mom is not very popular, B: Her Mom is something of a physical and mental threat, and therefore C: Her Mom is likely to be voted off sooner rather than later.  While Ciera understandably wants to work with her mother (it’s an extra vote that you have, essentially, and probably the closest you can come in the game to actual trust with someone else), she realizes that this is an individual game, and she has an actual shot to win, and therefore it might be in her best interest to vote Laura off.  This is one of the good things about this season: it brings out these sort of ethical dilemmas.  It’s true, they come up in other seasons, but the genetic link just makes it all that more personal, as well as more compelling.  I respect Ciera, even if I’m not the hugest fan of her, but tonight I was riveted by her confessionals, which was probably a good thing, as they made up approximately half of the episode.

Sweeping over to Redemption Island we see that Aras, Vytas, and Tina will be facing a repeat of a repeat.  It’s the Redemption Island challenge in which Cochran nearly beat Challenge Jesus (my heart quivers with joy at the memory) from “Survivor South Pacific”:  After using a grappling hook to retrieve 3 bags, the duelists must take a small ball from one of the bags, and navigate it through a maze to an end slot.  First to finish gets to give away a clue to the hidden immunity idol, last place becomes the first member of the jury.  I must say, although this challenge is very derivative (notably, it’s very similar to a couple challenges from “Survivor Marquesas”), it hasn’t been done in a while, and I give it a pass just for the good Cochran memories.

So, it looks like we’ll have a jury of 8 and a final 3 once again this season.  Joy.

Normally, I’d give good odds that Tina would lose a Redemption Island duel against Aras and Vytas.  This is not to dis her challenge skills by any means, far from it.  Tina, while not a physical force, does hold her own very well in the challenges, particularly when factoring in her age.  So, it’s not that she’s bad, by any stretch, but just that Aras and Vytas are EXTREMELY good.  This challenge, though, is not one where physical strength is necessarily an asset.  It’s more about dexterity and balance, which could go either way.  My only concern for Tina is the grappling hook leg of the challenge, and if she can survive that, she might just have a shot at this challenge.

And survive she does, somehow edging out Aras and Vytas on the grappling hook.  After a funny moment in which Aras encourages Laura to encourage him as well (she’d previously encouraged Tina and Vytas), things end up fairly even on the maze.  A mistake by Tina means that Vytas gets first place, and I start to feel sorry for Tina, given that she was doing so well.  It seems that mazes and Aras don’t agree, however, as Tina still manages to survive, and given all her effort, I’m happy for her.  Plus, it’s Aras, in my opinion the most boring of the three, who leaves.  Can’t say I’m too sorry over all.  While he did surpass my expectations strategically, he was still pretty boring in interviews, and made some pretty dumb moves.  And to all you Aras fans out there, don’t worry, he’s still on the jury, you can see him.

Before he leaves, however, Probst tries to make Aras and Vytas epically recount their life story, as well as give contrived platitudes about how their relationship has changed and will continue to change.  Vytas gains respect in my eyes by cheekily saying that he doesn’t think their relationship has changed very much.  Since no one questions Probst, though, Vytas is forced to give the platitude anyway.  Bummer.  I liked his first answer better.

Vytas decides to give his clue to Katie, who, wisely realizing that she can’t get much more on the chopping block than she already is, keeps the clue.  Back at the camp, Katie publicly announces her bathroom break.  Everyone at camp wisely realizes that either Katie is something of an odd duck, or she’s going idol hunting.  As it’s the latter, everyone hilariously lampshades it, while Laura suggests, not unreasonably, hiding all their digging tools to make like harder for Katie.  It doesn’t matter, though, as we see that for the time being Katie has absolutely no success in finding the idol.

Meanwhile, Laura goes in for another counseling session with Ciera, where we once again reaffirm that Ciera is more than willing to vote off her mother, while Laura remains perfectly naïve about the threat that she poses.  The one interesting bit is Ciera’s current advice to her mother, which is to not go around strategizing, and to wait for Tyson to make the first move.  On the surface, this could be seen as legitimate advice to prevent people getting paranoid about Laura, but it could also be read as a self-serving move by Ciera.  If her mom isn’t strategizing, it’s all that much easier for Ciera to control things.  You go, girl!

Speaking of Tyson making moves, he decides it’s time to have an interview or two, and comes to the same conclusion that Ciera has.  He admits that Laura’s a threat, both as an individual and as part of a pair, and therefore needs to go.  Thinking at first that he can do it without Ciera, he approaches Hayden and Caleb with the proposal to eliminate Laura rather than Monica should Katie win immunity.  This serves only to give Hayden another generic interview, but it is good strategy on Tyson’s part, save for one caveat.  He admits that it’s another betrayal, which makes him look more like a villain, at a point where jury management becomes a big factor.  Look, Tyson, I appreciate the improved strategic game, but you need to consider not being the messenger for once.  Try and NOT make people feel betrayed by you.

Enough about that, though, as we’ve come to it, the emotional heart of the episode, the thing that makes it just so great.  Ciera, unable to contain herself any longer, takes her Mom down the beach, and admits that she’s probably going to have to vote her off fairly soon, probably at the next Tribal Council.  Laura, naturally, protests, pointing out that it might be short-sighted of Ciera, as the guys probably won’t take her to the end, anyway.  Still, she’s not mean about it, Ciera seems appropriately embarrassed, and Laura goes so far as to admit that despite this being a game, she’s able to separate out being proud of her daughter for coming into her own.  Ciera, for her part, puts things gently, explaining via sand diagram exactly why things will come down to Laura being voted out.  I LOVE this scene.  Not only was it handled well by the players, but it was shot and edited impeccably.  The action felt intimate, we heard just enough to understand the situation, while at the same time not seeing so much as to make it repetitive, and it was just gorgeously done!  On top of that, the music was impeccable!  Music, in my opinion, is an underappreciated aspect of “Survivor”.  As you might expect, we don’t think about it very much, but you notice its absence.  This time, those absences were used perfectly.  The music added to the emotion, while not being overpowering, and particularly emotional moments were underscored by silence.  My hat’s off to the composers on this one, they were really on the ball.

Katie mentioning that she needs immunity leads us to today’s challenge, hailing this time from “Survivor Nicaragua”.  Castaways hold on to a rope while standing on an angled platform.  Overtime, they inch down the rope, until they fall into the drink.  Last person standing wins.  As repeat challenges go, this one isn’t bad.  It’s only been done on “Survivor Nicaragua”, it’s a good endurance challenge, and is a solid idea all things considered.  I do take issue with it being a repeat challenge, as well as the fact that it’s neither big nor epic, but I’ll let it live.

This challenge is good news for Katie, as being about balance and holding your weight, it favors the small and the skinny.  Katie, however, is out somewhat early, leaving Monica, who was not even a target this time around, with immunity, and the extra reward of a cheeseburger feast.  Yeah, did I mention that I HATE REDEMPTION ISLAND FOR ELIMINATING REWARD CHALLENGES?  BECAUSE I DO!  Still, Monica handles it all with grace, giving up her feast for the losers (which I’m somewhat surprised Probst allowed, as it lowers the drama somewhat).  Probst questions Caleb as to whether this was a personal or strategic move, because lord knows Caleb needs SOMETHING to talk about.  Caleb wisely points out that the move can be both, and everyone save Monica enjoys their burgers.  I would point out that this is kind of a double-edged sword for Monica, as it makes her more of a jury threat, but since she has immunity, it’s not as much of a concern.

Hey!  Who left the transition snake on the Kasama camp set?  You know that the castaways and the transition animals must NEVER been seen in the same shot.  Oh, great, there goes the meta-meter.  The episode is ruined.

Not to be deterred by errant transition animals, Katie attempts to seize the day with another idol hunt.  Laura, desperate to save her own skin, does the smart thing of tailing Katie and digging where she digs, so as to keep Katie from finding the idol.  What do you know, a move from Laura that actually makes sense!  Never thought I’d see the day.

Tyson, however, still wants his screen time.  He decides that Ciera ought to be approached, so as not to offend her by blindsiding both her and her mother.  Ciera, however, is one step ahead of him, anticipates the move, and smartly agrees to go along with it.  Man, Ciera has really upped her game this episode.  Tyson also seems to have learned from his earlier errors, as he pins the blame for the idea on Hayden and Caleb, rather than himself.

So, the plan seems set, but Tyson still won’t tell people he has the idol (good man), so what’re they going to do about Katie.  In yet ANOTHER brilliant strategic move, Ciera bluffs Katie into giving up that she didn’t find the idol, by saying that she (Ciera) did.  It’s two people bluffing each other, and although it seemed comedic at first, it became very serious and game-changing.  Katie’s falling first makes her lose power, and doesn’t give her much of a position in the tribe.  It does, however, boost Ciera’s position, as she’s now the one with a link to Katie, and therefore potentially another vote in an emergency situation.

The one department in which Ciera falters is in not bragging.  She admits her scheming ways after the fact to Tyson, who clearly sees this as a threat.  This not only cements Laura’s doom, but also makes Ciera more of an obvious threat, where one of her great strengths originally was her ability to blend in and not be considered a threat.  It wouldn’t surprise me if Tyson was on the warpath for her in the next few episodes.

Probst wisely just lets things run at Tribal Council, as we get Laura giving saving herself the old college try.  She has a few compelling arguments, pointing out that a pair in the game is two votes for the price of one, and that one of a pair on the jury and one in the finals is a vote everyone but the loved one won’t get, but unsurprisingly, that doesn’t work too well.  So Laura is gone, and while I still don’t like her and am happy to see the back of her, she did leave in such a manner that I at least respect her more now.

This episode was not particularly surprising, but it didn’t have to be.  It used pathos effectively, it kept me interested (if not fooled), and it showcased some good strategic thinking, so I’m quite fond of it.  It’s not earth-shattering, but still quite good.

Still, this blog feels short, and this was such an emotional episode that it merits a:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

Today’s subject is emotional boots.  Every Tribal has a tone to it, and while most are fairly average, some are really respectful, and some are downright bitter.  As such, the Top 5 list will be happy/respectful boots, while the bottom 5 bitter boots.  With that, I present to you:

TOP 5

5. Christina Cha (“Survivor One World”): Kind of a stretch, as the vote off itself wasn’t really respectful, but I did like the fact that, whatever Probst made out, Christina really didn’t defend herself against the at that point inevitable, and just enjoyed her last day.  However stupid it may have been, she went out on her own terms, and that’s respectable, at the very least.

4. Laura Morett (“Survivor Blood vs. Water): As I said before, beautifully edited, easy to watch, and overall just made for a good episode.  Only loses its higher spot on the list because most of the emotion happened before Tribal Council, not at it.

3. Rudy Boesch (“Survivor All-Stars”): A bit of an odd choice, as it was a blindside of a poor old guy doing the best that he could.  What puts this on the list is a genuine, heartfelt speech by Probst after Rudy left. It felt right, it showed respect, and made the blindside much more pleasant.  See there, Probst, I don’t hate EVERYTHING you do!

2. Ian Rosenberger (“Survivor Palau”): Yes, “Survivor’s” first ever impromptu Tribal Council was also one of the most touching.  We’d seen Ian struggle, both physically and mentally, over the last several episode, but it climaxed at the final 3 immunity challenge, where after 10 hours on a buoy, Ian stepped down after getting Tom to promise that he WOULDN’T take Ian to the finals.  I didn’t put it in the top spot on the list, because it was kind of a stupid move on Ian’s part, but still a very sweet moment nonetheless.

1. Dan “Dan Fuego” Barry (“Survivor Exile Island”): Without a doubt the most respectful Tribal Council I’ve ever seen.  La Mina didn’t want to vote out what was effectively their patriarch, nor did they like kicking an old man when he was down.  But they had to, and so they agreed, not only to tell Dan, but to defend him on a united front at Tribal Council.  Dan scrambled, to be sure, but he accepted his fate with good grace, and this Tribal Council just felt right for him.

Honorable Mention: Russell Hantz (“Survivor Redemption Island”): Not a particularly respectful vote, but one that makes me happy nonetheless.

 

BOTTOM 5

5. Benjamin “Coach” Wade (“Survivor Tocantins”): This one might have seemed respectful, and Coach really wanted to make it grand and epic.  And in part, he succeeded.  However, some of the voting confessionals (not undeservedly) trashed Coach, perhaps to the point of excess.  I’m no big Coach fan, so I didn’t mind that much, but it still felt a bit mean-spirited.

4. Keith Tollefson (“Survivor South Pacific”): While I side with Cochran on this issue, and admit that Keith didn’t have that bad of a time at Tribal Council, he still bore the brunt of the blame for being horrible to Cochran, when I’d say Ozzy and Jim Rice were both more to blame for that.  Kind of a bland character, but I still have a soft spot for the guy.  He didn’t quite deserve the trashing he got.

3. Jane Bright (“Survivor Nicaragua”): Much like with Laura Morett’s boot tonight, this one was mainly unpleasant before Tribal Council.  Tribal, however, was not easy for Jane either.  I liked Jane ok, so to see her be fairly unceremoniously booted off was a bit disappointing, but I understood its necessity.  Her complaining and haranguing of people just strategizing like they were supposed to really just made everything worse.

2. Randy Bailey (“Survivor Gabon”): Like Russell Hantz, this was someone I was glad to see voted out.  However that does not excuse the wasting of an excellent quality fake idol on a practical joke, that was meant merely to humiliate a man on national tv.  Shame on you, Sugar.

1. Lex van den Berghe (“Survivor All-Stars”): This was a fairly heated Tribal Council, but nothing special on the surface.  Dig deeper, however, and you find a barrel of unpleasantness that was the way Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”) handled it.  On top of that, the All-Star season just felt more personal, making this vote most painful to watch of all.

Honorable Mention: Gretchen Cordy (“Survivor Borneo”): At the time, this was the height of dishonor, as it went against what people thought the game should be.  However, interviews after the fact reveal that people really loved Gretchen, and hated doing that vote.  For this reason, it needs mentioning, even if it can’t be on the list proper.

So there you have it!  See you all for what is hopefully an even better episode next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 1: Vehicle Porn

Come on in guys!  Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to.  Well, we’re starting off this new, controversial season with an episode that, like a lot of first episodes, had an odd mix of hits and misses.  Since we have to discuss these in detail, as well as talk about the numerous twists that my laziness prevented me from discussing in the “Cast Assessment” blog, we should waste no time, and dive right into that cheesy, over the top Probst narration.

Yes, as usual, Probst treats to a description of what we’re going to be getting this season.  No, not in terms of the elements, but in terms of family drama.  It’s pretty generic overall, a bit loosely cobbled-together, and on the cheesy side, but the Probst narration has always been this way, so we let it slide.  We get the usual emphasis on the people CBS wants us to focus on, like “Big Brother” winner Hayden.  We also get to see that some people haven’t changed; specifically, Gervase is still funny as hell and COMPLETELY averse to work, trying to push off shelter-building on his niece Marissa.  We also get our sob stories for the season, with Colton talking about how he’s changed so much from “Survivor One World” (that’ll be the day), and Vytas talking about his rebirth from his life as a heroin addict.  This would be actually compelling stuff, but I’m too busy focusing on Vytas’ name.  I’m sorry, I think I mentioned this in the cast assessment blog, but Vytas’ name is just SO AWESOME that I really can’t focus on anything else!  It seems like a superhero name.  I keep expecting a title across the screen labled “SUPER VYTAS: Defending the world with VYM, VYGOR, and VY-TALITY!”  And yes, I know his name is pronounced “Vee-tas”, thus ruining the pun, but the name is just so awesome that it doesn’t even matter!

But now we get into the first twist of the game: Day 0.  Technically a half day, the returnee-loved one pairs are dropped off on completely separate parts of the island to fend for themselves.  While this might seem like a good twist at first, it is really and excuse for CBS to once again engage in transportation porn.  BOATS!  TRUCKS!  MOTORIZED RICKSHAWS!  So many ways of getting where you want to go!  It’s just so magical!

Ok, ok, in all seriousness “Day 0” is one of the things this season gets (mostly) right.  It’s a unique way to start off the game, it pulls the wool over the player’s eyes, but it doesn’t particularly go against some of the core values of the game.  That will be saved for ANOTHER twist, one that goes over about as well as vomit on one’s doorstep.  We also get some interesting drama because of this, including the aforementioned moment with Gervase trying to get out of working, Kat and Hayden immediately looking for a place to snuggle, and Caleb, Colton’s fiancé (how that man found a lover remains a mystery to me) proving that he’s one of the most sensible loved ones out there.  By that, I mean he doesn’t let Colton do a thing.  This is quite sensible.  Any time Colton is allowed to do something, it completely blows up for him and anyone connected to him.  Oh, and by the way Probst, Colton’s illness was not “MYSTERIOUS”, it was intestinal parasites.  They’re quite well known, all things considered.

My one problem with the “Day 0” twist is that it isn’t really explored.  We spend barely any time on it, get almost no reaction on it from any of the players, and what time is spent on it is completely covered by the Probst narration.  You had a good idea here, guys, you didn’t need it to be talked over.  Oh well, at least we still get the really cool image of the couples walking out of the jungle together.

Probst then gets into what Probst does best (or at least used to do best) and question people.  Now, he does ask some good questions, but I take umbrage with his question to Hayden, as he pointedly shows that Hayden won “Big Brother”.  I know, it’s something that’s kind of hard to hide, Probst, but given the twist that’s coming up shortly, has it occurred to you that Hayden may NOT want people to know that he’s already won a bunch of prize money?  Just a suggestion.

However, Probst then pointedly asks if anyone would throw themselves down for their loved one, and much to my surprise, it’s NOT dominant hero Rupert who puts his foot in his mouth, but rather Brad Culpepper, former NFL player and Monica’s husband.  He admits that, while he would never go so far as to throw immunity, he might throw a reward challenge if it would help his wife. This, not unsurprisingly, gets him a lot of looks from the other contestants, as is only correct.  That’s a big target on your back early in the game, showing that you may not stick fully with your alliance later in the game, and that right there’s enough reason for someone not to trust you.  Brad at least realizes his error quickly, but then again, with the way people were looking at him, it’d be hard not to.

Probst then reveals, to only mild shock overall, that the returnees will be one tribe, the loved ones another.  I’m sort of divided on this twist.  On the one hand, it would, I feel, be very unfair, boring, and intentionally drama-inducing to put the pairs on the same tribe, and certain I think intentional ripping apart of family bonds is to be avoided at all costs, and this is a step in that direction.  On the other hand, this essentially turns in into a “Fans vs. Favorites” season, in that the experience of the returnees is a HUGE advantage survival-wise, and I’ll argue later that it was a MAJOR factor in the direction of this episode.

We get the expected goodbye scenes, and once again, Rupert is not the center of drama around his loved one, but it’s Colton, of all people, who seems to have the hardest time leaving his loved one.  He has an even harder time with the next twist, which is that once the tribes have been named (the returnees are Galang, the loved ones Tadhana), they must each vote somebody out of the tribe.  Colton, displaying what is probably the first bit of self-knowledge he’s ever had, points out that he’s QUITE likely to be the first person eliminated from his tribe.

I’ll say quickly here that while this twist may be a bit unfair, particularly for the loved ones, who have no idea who they’re playing with, I’m ok with it.  It adds drama to the game, gets social politics going quickly, and surprisingly, a bad twist coming in a minute makes it a bit fairer for me.  If they were going to do it, it was best to do it this way.

Laura Boneham, Rupert’s wife, finds herself unanimously eliminated from Tadhana, while Candace is eliminated in a controversial vote from Galang.  I’ll admit, both of these shocked me, Laura in particular.  Candace I kind of saw coming, in a sense.  After all, she’s well known for flipping on alliances and causing their downfall, which one might understandably want to avoid.  I did see her getting votes, but I didn’t see her eliminated.  Laura Morett of “Survivor Samoa” also shocked me by getting votes.  Not that I’m complaining, mind you, I don’t like Laura on a personal level, and think she’s overrated strategically, but all the votes for her surprised me.  The justification of most was that they didn’t know Laura too well, which is understandable given that she shared a season with Russell “No-one-but-me-is-allowed-to-have-screentime” Hantz, but the animosity from that surprised me.  I guess after “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, people are paranoid about the devil they don’t know.  It also surprised that Rupert and Colton didn’t get votes (I’d have predicted that one of those two would be gone first), the former for being the cause of several strategic players this season being voted out previously (notably Tina and Candace), and the latter for being one of the most disgusting human beings on the planet.  Just goes to show you.

But it was Laura Boneham, as I say, that really surprised me.  I did think there was a SLIGHT chance that she’d be voted off first before the season started, due to being a threat, but I thought for the most part, people would respect that she’s a stronger woman on a tribe with a lot of girlie girls, and they’d keep her around.  I can understand their wanting to get rid of a threat, but I really think it’s too soon.  After Brad’s outburst, I also thought FOR SURE that he’d be the one to get booted off, just for being untrustworthy.  Actually, thinking on it more, I can’t help but wonder if people voted for Laura just because hers was the only name they were certain of.  After all, Laura is the only loved one to have appeared on a previous season (to be fair, Katie, Tina’s daughter also appeared on “Survivor The Australian Outback”, but that was for all of about 30 seconds by webcam, and she wasn’t the focus, so it really doesn’t count in my book), so she’s the only one people would have a decent chance of knowing before the game.

Probst then goes on to reveal the twist that I simultaneously love and have.  I love it because it makes the “Voting off people before the game really starts” twist somewhat fairer, and hate because it ruins the game in a lot of other ways.  Yes, after being mercifully absent for several seasons, Redemption Island is back again, and THAT’S where the first boots will be headed to.

It’s no secret that I think Redemption Island sucks, but it’s been a few years, so let me refresh you as to the exact reasons WHY Redemption Island sucks:  It cheapens the principle of “Once the decision is made, the decision is final.”  Instead of two kick-ass, potentially original challenges per episode, it guarantees at least once challenge will be a scaled down repeat.  The interviews taken there are repetitive.  It cuts down on time better spent understanding the strategic gameplay.  It does not, as Probst claims, keep exciting people in the game, but keeps the physically fit, who more often than not are among the LEAST exciting people, in the game.  And finally, it really screws up my figuring out who exactly counts as being voted off first.

Now, with that said, if there was a season to have a Redemption Island twist, this is the best season for it.  The theme of this season, if it’s not already clear, is about testing the connection with loved ones, and how it affects strategy.  Keeping loved ones partially in the game adds a new dynamic to the strategy.  How easily will they be given up on?  Is it easier to vote out a loved one knowing they’re not gone for good?  If you DO vote out a loved one, and they come back, how much of a grudge will they hold a grudge?  These are good dilemmas that make for a very exciting season.

Know what else is a good dilemma?  The next twist.  Probst then starts to make the offer that any loved one can switch with the person voted out (in this case, Rupert can switch with Laura, and John Cody can switch with Candace), and go to Redemption Island instead, putting their loved one on the tribe they just vacated.  I say “starts to” because, in the first instance of something I guessed happening this season, Rupert wastes no time in throwing himself on his sword for his wife.  Probst stops him, and insists on explaining the whole thing to Rupert, before Rupert, over Tina’s protests, goes ahead and trades places anyway, sending Laura to Galang.  Now, let me talk about Tina for a minute, because she framed the argument in a way I wouldn’t have expected.  Tina points out (in confessional, admittedly), that Rupert’s leaving, in a sense, hurts the tribe because he’s a hard worker and strong physical force (after the “bathtub” incident on “Survivor All-Stars”, however, I contest the “Rupert is a good shelter builder” claim).  I expected Tina to be upset by this, not because it hurts Galang, but because she’s such a competitor, she’d see it as a fairly stupid move that just plain went against the game.  The fact that Tina is thinking this way instead (as well as letting bygones be bygones, she’s one I REALLY thought would be mad at Rupert for voting her out), shows me that she’s still as sharp as ever, and a real threat in this game.  Though really, Tina, did you expect Rupert to do anything BUT save his wife, given who he is?

Actually, one thing I’ll say is that, while Rupert’s decision is overall stupid, as it’s always better to keep yourself as far away from elimination as possible, it’s not ENITRELY stupid.  While Laura, I’m sure, is tough, and Rupert is nowhere NEAR as tough as he thinks he is, he’s still a real physical force, and beating him in a duel certainly won’t be a cakewalk.  The only flaw is that Rupert isn’t exactly the best puzzle guy out there, and puzzles have been known to show up on Redemption Island.  Still he’s hardly the worst, and I’d expect nothing less from the big good of the show.

Probst then offers John the chance to switch with Candace, and this is one place where the show goes absolutely right.  While I understood the necessity of this twist this season (and kind of liked the layer of strategy in “You can switch before Redemption Duels, so if you think you can win, you might switch to keep your loved one in”), I wasn’t wild about it for the simple reason that it seemed to me that it was being framed not as a strategic decision, but as a way to tear apart loving bonds for the sake of drama.  I was sure, with John, Probst was going to frame it as “This will show how much you love Candace.”  Instead, Probst did the mature, sensible thing and framed it as a strategic decision, even letting Candace and John talk it over for a minute so as to ENSURE consensus and a lack of drama.  Good call, Probst.

In the end, John sensibly decides not to save Candace, and the new tribes head off to their camps, while Rupert and Candace head over to a really kick-ass Redemption Island.  Give the art team tons of credit, they’ve really outdone themselves.  The duel arena is distinctly Filipino (and not Samoan, as I thought that’s where we’d be headed again.  Oh well, at least they’re doing a DIFFERENT area of the Philippines this time), with a lot of eye catching artwork set against a sea of yellow bamboo.  If there’s one aesthetic flaw with the previous Redemption Islands, it’s that they didn’t seem like they belonged in that setting.  Every set on “Survivor”, particularly big ones like Tribal Councils and Redemption Arenas, really need to feel like they belong in the jungle, and that they’ve been serving the same purpose for thousands of years.  “Survivor Redemption Island’s” Duel Arena was ok, but the challenges put in always felt really fake to me, and the arena from “Survivor South Pacific” was just too generic to be liked.  This one is unique, distinctive, and feels like it belongs out there.  All of the props to the art department on this one.

We head off to Galang first, where we see a culture of celebration in the air.  Spirits are high, particularly after it turns out that Tyson learned from Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”) how to start fire with stick, so Galang has a quickly, efficiently build, functional camp in what editing magic shows us is no time.  All is not well in paradise, however, as many people are dissatisfied with trading Rupert for Laura.  Gervase in particular seems dissatisfied, which makes sense when you recall that his main ally on “Survivor Borneo” was brainless jock Joel Klug.  Who on the initial Galang most fit that bill?  Rupert.  Bet you anything, Gervase wanted to ride Rupert’s coattails to the end.  Gotta say, I still like Gervase, but he seemed really angry this episode.  Don’t know what was wrong, but it was unpleasant to watch.

We also get our first bit of NOT strategy, as Monica talks to Colton, the REASON SHE WAS VOTED OFF, and wants to make an alliance with him.  Colton’s a little commitment-phobic, but he still seems willing.  Still, this just demonstrates how much of a strategic numbskull Monica is.  Talking to the person who voted you off last time, and then TRUSTING them?  Really bad idea.

Heading over to the more enigmatic Tadhana, we see that they’re making a good show of building a shelter, but it’s nowhere near as fast or efficient as Galang’s building.  Super Vytas even makes a show of modesty about chopping bamboo for the shelter, despite the fact that his super strength allows him to cleave bamboo shoots in two with a single chop.

Someone I WISH kept a low profile is Brad, who seems to have taken the Jeff Kent (“Survivor Philippines”) school of strategy, and quickly apologizes for his earlier foot-in-mouth moment, and hastily tries to set up an alliance.  His logic is that it’s the people like Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”) who win these days, so the strong guys should all stick together against the women.  After all, they have a numbers majority, not that you’d know from Brad’s confused attempt to subtract five from nine on his fingers.  Methinks he may have taken one too many blows to the head during his football career.  Still, give him credit for paying homage to a great strategic mastermind.

Misguided or not, he approaches each and every man with his “Guy Alliance” proposal.  Not being idiots, they appear to accept, though all smartly and wisely indicate that they don’t trust Brad, and probably won’t stick with the plan, which is what I like to hear.

The next day, his career as a math teacher over, Brad decides to become a therapist, having a “heartfelt” talk with Ciera about her teenage pregnancy.  Super Vytas also deigns to discuss with the mere mortals his humble origins.  Super Vytas was once your average crack addict, but after getting picked up by the police, he was signed up for a top-secret experiment due to having an awesome name.  The experiment was deemed a failure, and then Vytas served his jail time with good grace.  Upon his release, however, he slowly discovered that he had developed superpowers, and swore to turn over a new leaf, in so doing become SUPER VYTAS, Defender of the American Way.

After that tragic and moving tale of man’s desire to overcome, we’re treated to a screenful of Colton.  Oh joy.

In all seriousness, Colton talks about turning over a new leaf, and his admittedly hard life of being a gay man in a state that largely discriminates against homosexuality.  At first, I resolve to remain unmoved, but when he get to the bit about missing Caleb, and about how large swaths of his family refuse to acknowledge his existence after coming out, he gets to me.  I start to feel horrible about all the things I said about him, even if they were deserved.  I… I’m not sure if I have it in me to be mean to him anymore.  Maybe Colton’s a person like all of us.  Maybe he deserves a little more leeway than has thus far been given to him.

Of course, this attitude could turn around if he acts like a dick in the immunity challenge.  But what are the chances of that happening?

Back at our kick-ass Redemption Island, we see that Candace is more than a little miffed at being voted off without even a chance to integrate.  This is once again a generic Redemption Island interview, and could be skipped over but for the hilarity of her naming coconuts after the people who voted her out.  What’s more important is her complaining about Rupert.  This is not too surprising, as Rupert is one of the people responsible for her exit on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, but what is surprising is her reasoning: Rupert isn’t doing work.  If this doesn’t sound like the Rupert you know, that’s because it isn’t.  Those who say Rupert isn’t strategic, eat your words, Rupert has learned a lesson!  The Rupert of old would have worked, no question.  He’d be bringing in as many fish as possible.  But Rupert has realized that he’s essentially in an individual game on Redemption Island, and that expending energy might be a bad idea.  It’s actually a GREAT strategic move on his part, and if nothing else, shows that he HAS learned from his mistakes.

In the meantime, tree mail arrives, informing both tribes that the upcoming challenge will involve, amongst other things, a puzzle.  Both Tribes correctly speculate that this will be a Mother-Daughter battle, as Tina and Laura M., and Katie and Ciera will play for their respective tribes.

CHALLENGE TIME!  Apart from the cardinal sin of splitting up the tribe for the first immunity challenge, this one’s pretty kick ass.  6 tribe members will go over a water obstacle course to untie a boat containing a box of puzzle pieces.  They will then paddle the boat to shore, bring up the box of puzzle pieces, and leave the remaining 3 tribe members to solve an admittedly pretty complicated ship’s wheel puzzle, which must then be spun to raise a flag.  First tribe with the flag raised wins immunity and flint.  Given that we’ve barely seen any strategy on Galang, coupled with the fact that Galang is more experienced and better hydrated, I’d say they have the advantage this time around.

It seems I may be wrong though, as Vytas uses his super teamwork powers to have his tribe work efficiently and swiftly through the water, while Galang does not work together and struggles.  Gervase in particular has trouble, as it seems he has not learned to swim in the 13 years since his tenure on “Survivor Borneo”.  You know who IS good on Galang.  Laura.  She keeps up with the guys, and can be seen at times helping her tribemates over the obstacles.

Galang catches up at the boat, but falls behind due to an inability to paddle.  Colton gets frustrated, and threatens Kat with bodily harm.  Gee Colton, clearly you’ve turned over a new leaf!  Ok, I’m not the biggest Kat fan, but I just want her out of the game.  I would NEVER suggest inflicting bodily harm on her, and given Colton’s past attitudes (coupled with the preview for next episode), I think it’s safe to say that, sob story aside, he really hasn’t change from “Survivor One World”.  Please get rid of him ASAP.

Tadhana fumbles on the puzzle, however, with Katie being relatively ineffectual, and Galang having the bright idea to assemble the pieces outside the frame to ensure they’re all the same length.  It’s not a blowout, but sure enough, Galang wins, and Gervase celebrates obnoxiously.  Yeah, Gervase, I want to like you, but you’re making it REALLY hard right now.

Tadhana goes back in low spirits, and unfortunately, the guys now seem to be solidifying the bro alliance (a spiritual successor to the “Three Amigos” from last season), as there’s no better option.  The two girls on the chopping block are Katie for her poor puzzle performance, and Marissa, after Gervase’s gloating at winning the challenge.  I admit it’s kind of unfair to judge someone by their loved one, but on the other hand, there’s little else to go on, and everyone seems ot have gone in recognizing that as a possibility.  Still, rather than strategize, both Katie and Marissa just hope that it’s the other.  Caleb’s wishes aside, the editing suggests to me that Katie will go.

We head to Tribal Council, which seems to combine almost Chinese elelements with the run-down-chapel look of the Tribal Council from “Survivor Nicaragua”.  Not the most unique combination ever, but it works.

Probst wastes no time getting to the heart of the season, talking about having to play against the loved ones.  Interesting dilemmas were raised, but Probst’s questions to John rubbed me the wrong way.  I’ll admit, John not saving Candace was going to be talked about, no question there, but it just seemed keyed to get an emotional, and not a strategic, response, and that just felt wrong.

The targets on Marissa’s and Katie’s backs are brought up, which means it must be time to vote.  To my surprise, Marissa is sent packing, which I’d say overall is the wrong decision.  Much though I like Katie, she DID screw up the challenge, and while I think Tina would be disappointed to see her gone, I also don’t think she’d hold it against Tadhana.  Also, Marissa didn’t really do anything wrong, so I’d like to see her get another chance.

So, where does this leave us?  Time will tell.  This season’s done a lot right, thus far, but there are a few things that rub me the wrong way.  Some of the twists fall flat, and while the show seems to be taking a more strategic angle to the loved ones twist, I’m still seeing things that indicate it may be unpleasant to watch.  I’m not a fan of Gervase’s attitude thus far, and Brad Culpepper is getting old real fast.  I can’t wait to see him voted off.  This episode was not very exciting as a whole, but it did throw me for a loop a few times, and kept me interested, which with this cast is hard to do, so I’m not prepared to write this season off just yet.  We’ll have to wait for next week to see how the twists play out.  What you WON’T have to wait for is my usual:

TOP 5 and BOTTOM 5!

Yes, the marooning on this one was quite distinctive and good, and as it’s a feature on every season, I’d say there worth ranking.  Well, this blog’s overly long as it is, so we might as well drop right into:

TOP 5

5. “Survivor Thailand”: Probably the first “Twist” marooning the show ever had, I like Thailand simply because it was a departure from standard that fit.  Picking one’s own tribes was a good twist, the idea of tribes based on gender was a fake out, and while not the most distinctive on this list, it was a good, solid marooning.

4. “Survivor Blood vs. Water”: I do love a marooning that keeps the contestants guessing, and this certainly succeeded in that regard.  I wish more time had been spent on it, and that we got more grandiose vehicles, but I’m certainly going to remember this marooning for a long time.

3. “Survivor Palau”: If this season gave us a memorable “What’s Going On?” marooning, then Palau perfected it.  Aside from my loving it whenever people are thrown into the game unexpectedly, with highly inappropriate clothing, this one just piled twist on top of twist, which nearly all hit mark (unfair vote off of Wanda Shirk and Jonathan Libby aside), the contestants didn’t know which way was up, and neither did the viewers.  Just a good, mysterious marooning that fit the “war” theme quite well.

2. “Survivor Borneo”: This one probably would have been first if I had sentimental memories of Borneo like most fans do.  Still, even without such memories, hearing the first ever Probst narration, coupled with getting thrown into the action quickly, along with an interesting start to a chaotic game, this is still a damn good marooning.

1. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: This one combines a lot of my favorite things, with an unexpected start, a lot of second guessing, and good, unique twists.  Also, this is the first marooning, aside from maybe “Survivor Borneo”, that felt like an actual shipwreck.  Add that to my fond memories of “Survivor Pearl Islands” (one of the first seasons I watched), and you have a marooning that can’t be beat.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor China”: Not one of my personal favorites, but deserves mention for be the ultimate CBS vehicle porn.  There were, I believe, no less than four different modes of transport crammed into one intro, and that takes some doing.

 

BOTTOM 5:

5. “Survivor Marquesas”: While most early maroonings, if not the most exciting, had some distinctive feel to them (“Survivor The Australian Outback” would have made top 5 but for want of space), “Survivor Marquesas” was the first one where it just felt generic, like they weren’t trying any more.  Still, not a total loss.  We did get the hilarity of Sarah Jones’ “Cleopatra” sequence.

4. “Survivor Gabon”: I’ll admit the tribal picking, coupled with the immediate challenge in which you had to decide between selfish gain and helping out the tribe as a whole was a good idea, but the contestants just WALK into the arena.  Not very exciting at all.

3. “Survivor All-Stars”: You’d think a season with “All-Stars” in the title would have a kick-ass opening, but nope, they’re just on boats, nothing special about them, apart from being sequestered from one another. How underwhelming.  I liked Tina’s suggesting of them skydiving in, that would have been so much more awesome.

2. “Survivor Samoa”: One of the laziest ways you can maroon people on the show is just sticking them on boats and having them paddle to shore.  Samoa avoids the number one spot by at least splitting the tribes into two boats apiece, and having to designate a leader right off the bat, but those both felt tacked on, and didn’t help how generic paddling to shore is.

1. “Survivor South Pacific”: At least “Survivor Samoa” put in effort!  I can barely remember the marooning of “Survivor South Pacific”, and that, in and of itself, should be enough to make it the worst marooning ever.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Cook Islands”: While it did have funny moments with Jonathan Penner, the fact that this was just a carbon copy of the marooning from “Survivor Borneo” really just rubs me the wrong way.

 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is it for this blog.  It’s overlong as it is and I’m tired.  See you next episode.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.