Greetings and salutations, my ever-growing band of loyal readers, or should I say “idols”? It is time, once again, for the resurrection of “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that EVERYONE is entitled to! Yes, we get something new this season, with more than just a FEW returning castaways for me to get annoyed at. Well, I’ve been saving up my ire for the past few weeks, no time to unleash it like the present.
According to the Probst narration, we’ve surely got Fans! Right here in Caramoan! With a capital “C” and that rhymes with “P” and that stands for precedents! If the title of this blog does not tip you off, we’re going to be talking a LOT about how the past seasons have done similar twists this time around. We’ll mainly focus on “Survivor Micronesia”, as the “Fans vs. Favorites” twist comes from that season, but we’ll also touch on precedents from previous seasons that the “Favorites” tribe (ok, technically their name’s “Bikal”, but let’s face it, until the tribe swap, you’re only going to call them the “Favorites”, and Gota will only be called the “Fans”). Now, a lot of people have been complaining about “Survivor” blatantly reusing the “Fans vs. Favorites” twist, saying that it shows unoriginality and that the “Survivor” crew members are running out of ideas. While I would point out that copying twists does have a precedent (note particularly the reuse of the “divide tribes by gender” twist), I will admit that it seems a bit foolhardy to copy a twist from one of the most well-beloved seasons of “Survivor” canon. I do give more in depth thoughts at the end of my cast assessment for this season (as well as my last blog of “Survivor Philippines”), but I will say this: I have no quarrel with reusing the twist, IF they change up how everything turns out, and avoid using the same twists and techniques that they used in “Survivor Micronesia”.
“Now why”, you may ask, “take such a long time with explaining this, when you already went over it in past blogs, and could be explained in a few sentences regardless?”. Well, partly it was to slip in that completely unsubtle “Music Man” reference, but partly it was buildup to show how much they UTTERLY FAIL AT THIS IN THE FIRST 30 SECONDS! And what do I mean by utterly fail? I mean AN EXACT WORD-FOR-WORD COPY OF THE INTRO OF THE “FANS” SIDE (sans rain). I mean seriously, bring them in on a boat rowed by natives, repeat the Probst narration word-for-word, and have the fans size each other up, as well as talk about how much they love the show. We also get to see who the producers want us to follow on the “Fans” side of things, based upon who gets an interview. It seems Matt (not me, unfortunately), Shamar, and Laura are our big winners this season. Now, Matt and Shamar I would have predicted, but Laura, really? She’d better demonstrate some real strategic chops fast before I consider her a worthy character.
Having had that little interlude, we move to the “Favorites”, who, because the producers think they’re awesome, come in by helicopter. Probst gives each of their names, along with a brief description of how they play the game. I’ll admit that Probst transitions between the returnees very well, segueing off of one to the other very naturally for a time. He gets a bit tripped up around Andrea, but overall very good.
It’s here that we get our first departure from precedent, not just for “Survivor Micronesia”, but for all recent seasons with returnees: No obnoxious interviews with the returnees talking about how awesome they are! I’m serious, they’ve been a staple since “Survivor Micronesia”, and they annoy me to no end, mostly because they draw the focus off of the new people! Ironically enough, this is one of the few seasons where I’d live with those annoying interviews, as since the returnees make up half of the cast, and so it’d be understandable to emphasize them this time. But they didn’t, and I think that’s a very good thing overall. Keep that trend up, guys.
Another thing that sets this intro apart? NO PROBST! Oh, his narration is there, there’s no getting rid of it, but our first shot isn’t of him or his vehicle of choice, no, it’s shots of the Philippines, and of the castaways. I like that a LOT! It makes the intro stand out, and puts the focus on the cast, rather than Probst, which is where it should be.
We actually get a theme song again this season, and while it’s not the most unique one, I do like how it incorporates a few elements from previous seasons. I definitely heard some didgeridoo and Marquesian chanting in there. For my money that’s the way it should be. The shots of the castaways are a little generic for my taste, but it’s a good intro overall. I know I should talk more about it, particularly after its reintroduction gave me a GINORMOUS FANGASM last season, but given all the awesome things that happened this episode, it really kind of fell by the wayside for me.
With no commercial break, we see Probst come down from his mountain (the one bit of him we did see in our introductory narration, complete with helicopters flying by, that’s pretty new and cool) to banter with the Fans tribe. By “banter” of course I mean saying “hello”, and then going straight to the people he wants to talk about, the Favorites tribe. I would criticize the Fans for not looking at their buffs and seeing that the season was subtitled “Fans vs. Favorites”, but as they didn’t get their buffs until later, I really can’t blame them. Probst calls out name and season for every Favorite, and they are suitably “oohed” and “ahhed”. Personally, I preferred the banter of the “Survivor Micronesia” Fans tribe, but that’s just me.
No point is sizing each other up, because it’s CHALLENGE TIME! Yes, today’s challenge is nothing short of a brawl. The tribes send one man and one woman at a time into a ring to race for a flotation device, which they must then race back to their tribe flag. The first person to have one hand on the flag, and another on the flotation device win a point for their tribe, the first tribe to four points wins the reward of flint, as well as a jar of beans. Now, this is hardly an original challenge, combining elements from several different challenges (notably, challenges from “Survivor Palau” and “Survivor Exile Island” are present), but I still like it ok. It’s a simple challenge, but knock-down, drag-out brawls are always a little bit of fun to watch.
So, in our first match up, the one that will set the tone for the season, we get Erik and Dawn of the Favorites, against the Fans’ lineup of Shamar and… Julia…
Ok, I know I’ve blogged for about two pages on the first 10 minutes of the show, but there is something that needs to be addressed her. You see, while this is very much a strategy blog, it is still opinion based, and I’m afraid that this season, my opinion will be VERY skewed. While I am, by and large, of sound strategic mind, I have fallen prey to my baser instincts. Yes, my friends, though it is rare, I find myself attracted to a contestant, specifically one of the Fans put up in the first round, and I’ll tell you right now that it isn’t Shamar. Seriously, I’m head over heels, in my mind she’s the greatest thing to happen to mankind since the invention of potato chips! So please, understand that if I get very defensive about her, understand that I’m thinking with my crotch.
Much to my delight, Julia (and Shamar, I suppose), put up an impressive first showing, scoring a point for the fans. It doesn’t last, though, with the Favorites scoring the next four points in a row and winning the reward. Heck, COCHRAN of all people proves to be an asset in the challenge, something even he admits is unlikely. He does get in some nice banter with Allie, though. There’s also a lot of banter from the sidelines, with Shamar encouraging his teammates to break the Favorites’ wrists (which earns him a reproachful look from Probst), and, in the final round, Erik encouraging Malcolm to put it all on the line and get naked for a point. In fact, Erik seems way too enthusiastic about Malcolm getting naked… Is there something you’re not telling us Erik?
That joke was offensive and beneath the standards of this blog. I fervently apologize.
Bad jokes aside, the Favorites win, and both tribes are rowed to their separate camps by the natives. Geez, “Survivor”, you’re getting lazy. Next thing, you’ll convert a limousine into a submarine, and give the castaways a lift from Los Angeles to their camps. Let them row, it’s good for them!
Well, I guess even CBS doesn’t think much of this seasons Favorites, as we’re treated first to the Fans’ arrival at camp. Things seem copasetic at first, with everybody hugging and back-slapping, all those bromance things you see on tween comedies. However, Shamar loudly proclaims that the tribe should not “waste their energy” on building a shelter before they have fire. The seeds of discord are sewn, however, as Matt believes that shelter is also a priority, and begins working on it with the rest of the tribe, saying that if Shamar wants to have fire so bad, he can work on it, but not everybody needs to be doing the same thing. Shamar responds by complaining and refusing to do any work on the shelter. What’s fascinating about this is that they’re both in the right. Shamar raises a good point, it’ll be easier to make shelter with more hydration, but Matt’s argument that the tribe can multitask is valid as well. Ultimately, though, Shamar takes all the flak, getting seen as bossy and lazy very quickly. Really, Shamar? You’re playing differently from the usual Marine, which is a nice change, but this is not smart. I picked you to win, I expect better.
25 minutes in we FINALLY get out first interview with the Favorites tribe, which also seems to be very happy-go-lucky, all bonding together to make a shelter. Behind the scenes, though, things are heating up, with Andrea, Francesca, and Dawn forming a core alliance of three, and agreeing to bring in Phillip, Brandon, and Cochran to make a solid six. Gee, the people from the same season bonding together in a voting bloc? NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE! Still, it is an interesting looking into voting strategy, particularly Francesca’s whom me follow. We see her commentate on how Phillip is crazy and she doesn’t like him. This woman speaks the truth. I like her. However, as she and Phillip are on the same tribe, she makes an effort to get along with Phillip. Phillip responds with stony silence. Yes truly, Phillip is the bigger man in this scenario. I didn’t think my opinion of him could sink any lower, but evidently I was wrong. This all caps off with Francesca swearing that she won’t be voted off first again, and if she is, she’ll eat a random rock lying on the ground.
Now, I’m sure that this is just a throw-away, filler interview, which will in no way impact the vote this evening. Seriously, CBS, I think that was a bit too subtle. Why not insert a few cancan dancers into the background, complete with a light show, chorus of trumpets, and a deep, booming “FORESHADOWING!”
Back with the Fans, it seems Shamar’s voice is now being heard, as the Fans’ Tribe sets out to make fire. However, Shamar is still not helping, noting that they’re using the wrong type of wood. Rather than just sit back and watch the tribe fail, however, Shamar does the sensible thing, steps in, and shows them how it’s done, becoming only the second tribe in the history of “Survivor” to start fire using two sticks, the first being the titular “Villains” of “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”. This success seems to recover his earlier social blunders, as even Matt admits that Shamar deserves a second chance. So good, Shamar is socially adept enough to get himself out of a mess he got himself into. It’d be better if he’d never gotten in the mess in the first place, but at least he’s not a complete incompetent when it comes to strategy.
If you had any doubts that Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard had changed from his “Survivor Redemption Island”, look no further than this next segment, when he names the people in his alliance things like “The Dominatrix”. Aside from general hatred, I’ve heard people say two things about Phillip: “He’s funny” and “He was putting on an act in ‘Redemption Island’”. I am here to shatter your sorry little realities, and tell you that neither of these things is true. The only two things funny about Phillip were the “Special Agent?” occupation listing and his inability to say the name “Francesca” properly, both of which are not present in this season. As to those who say he was putting on an act, I would believe you IF he had thrown it off at the Final Tribal Council on “Survivor Redemption Island”, and come out swinging with a whole new Phillip. Otherwise, what was the point in doing it. No, Phillip is crazy, and not in the racist way. I will give him a tiny bit of credit for at least learning a bit from Boston Rob in how to make an alliance, and that he is more proactive this time, but these do not change the fact that he’s insane, and in my mind an unstable alliance mate. Still, others seem to disagree, as he pulls in Corinne (the aforementioned “Dominatrix”) and Andrea as his core alliance, with Malcolm, Dawn, and Cochran on as secondaries.
Word of advice, Phillip: If you want me to take you seriously, you can start by NOT GIVING EVERYBODY STUPID NICKNAMES! Seriously, it serves no purpose!
The area where Phillip fails, however, is in intimidation, as while Erik is not technically part of the alliance, Phillip wants him around, and so gives a “You’re with me, or you’re against me and out” speech, which Erik pretends to buy, but confesses to the producers that Phillip is an unstable alliance mate, and that he won’t be intimidated into an unadvantageous position, thus making him an improvement over the entirety of the Zapatera tribe, and when ERIK of all people is an improvement, you know you’re pretty pathetic.
Please, take me over to the Fans. Here we see that geeks like me need company as alpha males Reynold and Eddie form a twosome, with each pulling in another (Eddie grabs Hope, and Reynold grabs Allie) to make the “Cool Kids Table” as Eddie calls it. Eddie also mentions that he doubts anyone else would be let into the “Cool Kids Table”, as the foursome are too tight. While a tight alliance is always a good thing, the foursome are making the crucial “Matt Quinlan” (“Survivor One World”) error, namely that 4 is not greater than 6. Things get worse when Reynold and Allie snuggle a little too closely at night, causing Laura to take notice. Thus, the next morning, while the “Cool Kids Table” is having a pool party, Laura rallies the others around her to form a counter-alliance, consisting of herself, Sherri, Michael, and the every-beautiful, flawless Julia. Presumably, they mean to pull in Shamar and Matt as well. Michael, however, likes to keep his options open, strengthening his bond with Matt as the two talk strategy, agreeing to vote together down the road with whichever side seems best. I have to admit, both Michael and Matt are more strategic than I gave them credit for. Hats off to them, they’ve come up with a good strategy, and got themselves in a good place.
We haven’t heard from Cochran in a while, I wonder what he’s up to? Getting sunburned apparently, as he quirkily jokes about it to Francesca, Corrine, and Brenda. He did this sort of thing on “Survivor South Pacific” as well, the difference this time being that he’s confident enough that it comes across as self-deprecating and funny, and not just as wimpy and awkward. Clearly, Cochran has learned something from “Survivor South Pacific”, as his strategy is working very well this time around.
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE TIME! Following the trend of “Survivor Philippines” we get a very weak first challenge. Two at a time, tribe members race up a series of ladders to drop 3 boxes (12 in all) into a pit, then race back down again. The remaining two tribe members then collect the balls that burst from the boxes, with one of those two tossing the balls at a series of 6 targets, the first tribe to hit all 6 targets raising a flag and winning immunity. Once again, this challenge draws from several different seasons (taking some elements from “Survivor Palau” and “Survivor Redemption Island”), and would be an ok challenge IF IT WASN’T THE FIRST IMMUNITY CHALLENGE! Seriously, what is it with the producers splitting the tribe up for the first challenge? It just doesn’t feel right. That, plus the lack of fire really drags this one down. And yet, somehow, it doesn’t merit its own spot on a “Bottom 5” list. Even I’m at a bit of a loss to say why. The best I can say is that there are 3 factors: it’s not the very FIRST challenge this time, the box smashing is pretty cool-looking, and we do at least get 8 tribe members together cheering for the runners, as opposed to the 4 of Philippines. I know, it’s not fair to “Survivor Philippines”, as it couldn’t help the number of people on each tribe, but whoever said “Survivor” was a fair game?
I’ll also say here that while it isn’t my favorite, nor does it stand out, I do kind of like this season’s immunity idol. I do, however, have to ask what it up with the die strapped to its neck? Is this another “Coke-Bottle-Is-A-God” scenario?
Well, following in the footsteps of “Survivor Micronesia”, the underdog Fans beat the Favorites, though to be fair, not in exactly the same way. “Survivor Micronesia” had the Favorites behind the entire time, whereas this time, there was a lot of back and forth, ultimately leading to a come from behind victory for the Fans thanks to Reynold and his heretofore untapped ball-tossing skills. Personally, I found this way of winning a lot more interesting than the one in “Survivor Micronesia”, so there’s at least one upward comparison.
Back at camp, I brace myself for the obvious misdirection, and it comes from the most likely source. Francesca wants Phillip gone, there’s a shock, and the feeling is mutual on Phillip’s side, once Andrea informs him of the plot. Gee, old enemies wanting each other out first? I never would have guessed! Still, Francesca and Erik bond together, pulling Brandon and Brenda into the fold to become the moral guardians of the Favorites (never thought I’d see the day Brenda was cast as a “moral guardian”, but there you go), trying to prevent Phillip from doing anything. Thanks to a bond with Cochran, Francesca and company believe they’re in tip top shape. Of course, they also think they’ve got Andrea on their side, which is what is leading to their plans being relayed to Phillip, so that’s not so good.
Even more trouble brews as both Cochran and Dawn talk, swearing to bond together through this game, and discussing whether to go with the more solid Phillip alliance, or the more moral Francesca alliance. Cochran admits that he’s knowingly playing both sides of the fence, trying to get a good read on people while being liked, and ingratiating himself with everybody, even Dawn (who seems to have forgiven him for the whole “ruined her game” thing), and while I should be disappointed that it looks like the pair are leaning toward the Phillip alliance, all I’m thinking is “YES! YES! THIS is the Cochran I wanted to see! A smart, strategic player who weasels his way in with everybody!” Go Cochran! I am so proud of you this episode! Dawn too, to be fair, she’s playing much more strategically this time around.
Situations worsen when paranoia sets in on Francesca’s alliance, and they consider splitting the vote, as Phillip might have the idol. Then Brandon decides to weigh in on the conversation, God help me. Old habits die hard, as Brandon once again targets the most attractive female as being too strategic, that woman being Andrea. However, despite my protests, I actually agree with him, for the simple reason that he’s not complaining about her feminine wiles, but that’s she’s playing a quiet, strategic game (which is true), and so yes, he’s right, she WOULD be a good person to get off. Still, the alliance is in chaos at this point, making it very unlikely that anyone but Francesca will go.
We head off to tribal, and while it is blatantly ripping off the tribal council air of “Survivor Micronesia” and “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, it stills looks awesome. What isn’t awesome is the banter at Tribal Council, which is unmemorable, mostly due to the fact that it’s blatantly obvious that Francesca is going. We don’t even have Phillip mispronouncing her name as “Fransusquehannah” or something similar to tide us over, nor will we ever, as Francesca goes home. I am sorry for her, but not in the way I usually am. I don’t mind her going from a strategic standpoint, I mind that by her going Phillip did NOT go. To be fair, I can see why Cochran and Dawn sided with her, it was because Phillip’s alliance was more solid, and I can understand that the upside to Phillip is that he’s easy to beat at Final Tribal. The DOWNSIDE to Phillip is that he’s somewhat erratic, and you have to PUT UP with him for the next 36 days. A Herculean feat in and of itself.
Still, I’m even more mad at CBS for even putting Francesca on this season. I just think she was outclassed. She tried, she really tried, she was playing multiple sides of the fence, but everyone else was just more versed in the game than she was, so she never really had much of a chance. That, and Phillip’s grudge against her for no reason sealed her doom. Some might argue that his grudge was because she wanted HIM off, but I’d point out that he didn’t like her before that, so no, I still don’t see the reason.
Francesca, for all that you’re not that good of a character, I’m sorry you’re gone first again, and I applaud you for weathering it so well. If it’s any consolation, you will go down in “Survivor” History books, girl.
So, where does this season stand so far? Well, while it does follow some precedents from previous seasons (both “Survivor Micronesia” and those of the returnees, particularly when it comes to who is booted first), it still breaks it in other ways, and does it enough that I can like it separate from “Survivor Micronesia”. One interesting break from tradition here is that with “Survivor Micronesia”, during the first episode I was much more interested in the Favorites’ dilemmas, and couldn’t care less about the Fans’. This time, I found the Fans’ alliance making fascinating, particularly that bond between Michael and Matt, and I look forward to seeing where there strategy goes. I was MUCH less interested in the Favorites this time, mostly because it was pretty obvious where the vote was going. Since it’s a predictable outcome, I should hate it, right? Well, maybe, but I don’t. While the outcome was predictable, it was so entrancing (particularly the prospect of having a two-time first boot) that I found myself really enjoying the journey of how the outcome was reached regardless of predictability. So yeah, good episode, and looking forward to the next one.
But don’t go yet! As is first episode tradition, it’s time for my:
TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!
While it seems like no one aspect of the episode really aroused my ire or my enjoyment this week, I do want to talk more about my crush on the gorgeous Julia, so this will be my list of CRUSHES.
I admit, this was a list I never thought I’d do. Besides not considering the attractiveness of the cast an important element to “Survivor”, and that this blog is mainly concerned with strategy. I was really too young to find women sexually attractive when “Survivor” began, and even when I could, they were often too dirty after a few days/way out of my age range. Still, I should be able to cobble together 6 crushes, as well as a photo of each. Also, since while I trash strategy on this blog to no end, but will not insult someone about their looks (there are plenty of other blogs that do that anyway, and as a not stereotypically attractive male myself, I find it to be a below-the-belt form of blogging), my bottom 5 will be the crushes of general “Survivor” fans that I personally don’t agree with. So, on to…
Top 5
5. Sydney Wheeler (“Survivor Tocantins”): One of the rare times that I find myself in agreement with fan consensus, but I cannot deny, I find Sydney attractive, and it’s not just because I’m heading to Australia in a few weeks. I think the hair is what gets me, she has great hair. She’s only this low on the list because I don’t remember her too well, and as I recall, she wasn’t the best strategically (though by no means a moron).
4. Colleen Haskell (“Survivor Borneo”): Now here’s an oldie but a goodie! A rare crush from the early series. Besides being a native of my home state of Maryland, Colleen also sports really fun hair, and an awesome personality. You just can’t help but like her. You want to take her home and make her comfortable. Also, while it didn’t come across on the show (mostly because Colleen was morally opposed to playing too strategically, though she did start toward the end), she seemed able to hold a good, intelligent conversation to me. She was so well liked for a reason, let’s put it that way. Given the age difference, even if she was still single, I doubt I’d have a shot, but a boy can dream…
3. Kim Powers (“Survivor Africa”): Between “Lil’ Kim” as she was known on the show, and Colleen, I must have a thing for women of smaller stature. Seriously, though, Kim was beautiful. She wasn’t worked on, it seemed to, and always seemed to have a smile on her face. She’d play strategically when she needed to, but wasn’t overly malicious. Just, all around, a great gal! From what I’ve researched, it seems she’s married to Alex Bell (“Survivor The Amazon”), and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t envy the man. Still, it would have been hard to work around the age difference anyway, so good for him.
2. Natalie Tenerelli (“Survivor Redemption Island”): Ah, now HERE’S someone who might have realistically been able to be with! A cute smile and a charming voice first attracted me to Natalie, not to mention that she’s well-endowed, if I do say so myself. Frankly, I’d probably still have this crush if it weren’t for the fact that she did NOTHING on her season. And I’m not saying I need my crushes to all be strategic geniuses, but Natalie really did not demonstrate ANY intelligence to me this season, and I like my crushes to be on an intellectual level with me, hence why Natalie is only the #2 spot.
1. Julia Landauer (“Survivor Caramoan”): Maybe it’s the hormones, but I really just think Julia is gorgeous. She’s pretty, but not in an overt kind of way. Again, I like her smile, and just think she has a quiet beauty. On top of that, she calls herself a “geek”, and attends STANFORD, which generally speaking implies that you’re intelligent. We’ll see if this season throws that idea out the window, but hopefully it won’t. I don’t know what her relationship status is, and I don’t really care. I know that she’s unmarried. If she’s seeing someone, good for her, I hope it’s a really great guy, if she isn’t, SHAME ON YOU MEN FOR NOT ASKING THIS WOMAN OUT! I know, if I met her, I’d ask her out in a heartbeat!
Honorable Mention: Katie Hanson (“Survivor Philippines”): Maybe it’s just me trying to cover my own gaffe of saying she’d do well last season, but I want to chalk it up to thinking with my crotch. The two reasons she’s not on the list proper are that she’s a pageant girl (which, for some reason, annoys me), and that I think the only really attractive part about her is her eyes, which, while gorgeous, do not make up for an otherwise average body. Also, to repeat, she wasn’t the brainiest of the bunch.
BOTTOM 5
5. Amber Brkich (“Survivor The Australian Outback): Yes, where better to start than with the woman voted “Hottest ‘Survivor’ Woman” on “America’s Tribal Council”. While certainly not unattractive, Amber is hardly what I would consider “hot”. Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”) likes her, and good for him, she’s just a little plain for me. Also, the repeated saying of “Oh my God!” in exactly the same intonation would drive me up the wall!
4. Amanda Kimmel (“Survivor China”): While Amanda is TECHNICALLY another pageant girl, that doesn’t bother me so much. I really hate to be so petty, but this sort of list forces me to be. I don’t know, something about her eyes throws me off. They’re a bit squinty and far apart, and it just doesn’t work for me. She does have a nice personality, and is pretty well-endowed, but just not my cup of tea.
3. Eliza Orlins (“Survivor Vanuatu”): One complaint I’ve heard about “Survivor Vanuatu” is that there were very few young, attractive people to root for. While I don’t believe that attractive people should make or break a season of “Survivor”, I have heard people say in recent years that Eliza gets a bad rap because of this. While I admit that Eliza is highly intelligent (and given that she was a target early on in BOTH her seasons, yet still made the merge on both, she’s got to be good), she just doesn’t do it for me. Again, I think it’s the eyes. They just seem like they’re staring right through me, and it gives me the creeps. Also, maybe it was the island diet, but she was just way too skinny for me!
2. Kat Edorsson (“Survivor One World”): Kat is cute. I will give her that, she is somewhat cute. However, amongst my many trends in what I like in women, I enjoy a certain amount of intelligence, and frankly, if by age 21 you don’t know what an appendix is, you’re probably not what I’m looking for.
1. Sarah Jones (“Survivor Marquesas”): “Boston Rob” Mariano may have been glad Sarah brought her boobs, but I certainly wasn’t. Apart from having eyes that seem to me too wide set to be allowed, she obviously had been worked on a lot, and had such a shallow vapid personality, that when I heard that a lot of guys founder attractive, I began to feel pity for my fellow men.
Honorable Mention: Elisabeth Hassellbeck (“Survivor The Australian Outback”): I put Elisabeth as an honorable mention because I do genuinely find her attractive. She’s cute, with a very likeable personality, and I can understand why others would want to be with her (married or no). But, ooh, the conservatism! As an avowed socialist, I really just can’t see us working out, thus leading to a lack of a crush.
Well that’s it. Sorry if any of you found my commentary on people’s looks offensive. I assure you it was not my intent. To my new readers, please understand that my blog is not normally this vain (or this long), and I’ll be back to hopefully more strategic content next week!
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 