Rednecks and Surfer Dudes: Two segments of the American population that are generally considered to be “Not that bright”. While “Survivor” does love to play up stereotypes, one of the reasons I love this show is that it can, and has, deconstructed such stereotypes, showing that while a person may speak and behave a certain way, this is not a guarantee that they do not have hidden depths. Sadly, tonight is not one such occasion, and this confirming of stereotypes, while not being quite as cringe-worthy as some other castaways from seasons past, does give us some of the worst strategy ever seen on the show. But does it completely ruin the episode? A question worth exploring, so let the expedition begin.
Back from Tribal Council, Coyopa is thankfully fairly circumspect. Baylor has a moment of celebration, which she admittedly did earn due to being the target that evening, but everyone is just saddened by their three straight immunity losses. The only one who displays any emotion besides this is Dale, who, too his credit, is quick to admit his mistakes. He rightly proclaims to the cameras that he got comfortable in his alliance, didn’t socialize as much as he should have, and now is paying the price for doing so. Then Dale further goes up in my estimation by taking what is accordingly the best course of action: badmouthing John Rocker, throwing out some lies about his occupation. This helps reintegrate Dale, and only makes me like him all the more. We haven’t seen as much of him as I would like, but what we do see is good. Coyopa doesn’t seem to hold anything against him, at any rate, and so all is right with the world at the moment.
Hunah Poo-Poo is also experiencing a surplus, though not, as we’ll see, of bonding. Instead, they have a surplus of flint, as Natalie found the flint they had lost covered in the sand. In fairness, it looked like it was hard to find. Still, this confirms my earlier ruling that Hunah Poo-Poo ought to have taken the fishing gear at that first reward challenge. Despite my being right, I would not go proclaiming it to the camp in a pompous manner, however. Proving once and for all that I am not Drew, this is exactly what Drew does, much to the annoyance of everyone else. In a rare moment for this evening, however, I will agree with Drew in one respect. Drew suggests that they try and do a take-back with Probst, offering brand-new flint for some fishing gear. Most of the tribe laughs him off, and says they don’t want to look stupid in front of the other tribe. They’re probably right, Probst won’t take that as a fair trade, but why not try, in my opinion. The worst that can happen is that you look stupid in front of Coyopa, and frankly, who gives a damn what they think of you? They’re the opposing tribe, they’re not going to think the best of you in any case, and I doubt anyone will not align with you later on just because you failed at trading with Probst. Even if they don’t like that, you can always pin the blame on Drew. Granted, that doesn’t work out so well for Drew, but he’s kind of a moron, so we don’t care.
Sure enough, Drew offers Probst his deal, and Probst throws it on the ground like he’s Brandon Hantz (“Survivor South Pacific”), and the deal is a pot of rice. That little bit of overplayed uncomfortableness over with, we get on to something much better, namely the challenge. While not technically original, the mechanism through which it works is cool-looking enough that I’ll call it original enough for me. That said, original does not equal good. Basically, one person from each tribe will use a grappling hook to retrieve three bags, because that challenge mechanic was just too good to only be used in the first reward challenge this season. Once all the bags are retrieved, they’ll be opened to reveal five balls. One at a time, these will be sent down a chute, which the tribe member can step on to launch the balls towards one of five baskets. The first person to get a ball in each basket wins. A fairly well-balanced challenge, but just kind of unimpressive. We’ve seen a lot of these mechanics before, the contraption for launching being the only one I really like, and for some reason “Survivor” has had a love for launching things into baskets lately, such that I’m tired of it. Still, I’m happy with the reward. It seems that my wish for the choice of reward has been granted, and so the winners can choose between the blankets, pillows, and tarp of last week, or what Probst refers to as “Picnic Food”, meaning sausages, popcorn, and s’mores. Unlike last week, this choice is more cut-and-dried. While both tribes seem to be hurting for food, none of the food offered really has any nutritional value. Only the sausages could be considered useful in this environment, and without a way to refrigerate them, you’d have to cook them up immediately, thus limiting their value. Conversely, the tarp will last the whole time you’re on the show, and a good night’s rest is always helpful. Tarp all the way.
Hunah Poo-Poo breaks their losing streak at Ancient Mayan Rock-Paper-Scissors, and picks Jon to go up against girlfriend Jaclyn, which seems like a wise choice to me. There’s no clear type of person who would be good at this challenge, but Jon and Jaclyn are amongst the most mismatched pairs this season, so it’s a good bet on their part. Still, the challenge is a lot closer than I thought it would be, with a single basket separating the tribes. The odds play out like one would expect, however, and Jon wins, sending Jaclyn to Exile Island. When asked by Probst how he feels about sending his girlfriend to Exile Island, Jon replies in a very good way. He says that though she doesn’t look it, she’s tough, and can take care of herself. This, he claims, only makes him love her all the more. Jon may not be amongst the smartest people out here, but he does seem like a nice guy. That was a very classy answer he put forth, and I think he genuinely means it. He chooses Drew to go with her, due to his having a bond with Drew, which is a fairly sensible answer, although it would have been funny to see him justify it as “punishment for the deal.” Hunah Poo-Poo as a whole chooses the tarp-based reward, which as I mentioned before is the sensible choice, so no complaints there. Alec laments that Coyopa may be the worst tribe in “Survivor” history. Don’t worry Alec. You win the occasional challenge, and watching your tribe interact isn’t the visual equivalent of pulling teeth. I think you’re in the clear.
While they enjoy their reward, only Jon is worried (Julie having done the smart thing and not shed a tear over John Rocker’s exit). He’s not so much for Jaclyn’s safety, but for her workload. Despite being the only person who’s really “close” to Drew, even he has no delusions about Drew’s work ethic, and he admits that Jaclyn might be doing most of the firewood gathering. Naturally, the edit must jump to Exile Island. Drew gets the clue, but makes no pretense about sharing it with Jaclyn. Jaclyn then admits that she was wrong about him, as Alec had evidently been spreading the rumor that Drew was a ladies’ man. This is a rumor that Drew confirms, though he says that flirting is not his focus out here. He then goes on to say the stupidest thing of the evening, which is to tell Jaclyn that she needn’t worry about never winning an immunity challenge, as he plans to throw the next immunity challenge. I pray for a minute that this is just him being hypocritical and flirting with Jaclyn, but nope, he genuinely means to throw the challenge, to “Get out the snakes.” as he puts it.
Dissecting how bad of a plan this is going to take its own paragraph. This is the move of someone in power who knows for a fact that people are conspiring against him. Drew BELIEVES he has power, despite being the laughingstock of the tribe, and only thinks there are plots against him. Some would argue that Natalie’s obvious dislike of him would lead to that conclusion, but as I’ll discuss later, this isn’t what Drew means. Now, while I accept that historically, tribes who avoid Tribal Council until the merge, and thus don’t have a chance to “practice” the game don’t do too well, this does not mean that one should intentionally lose the challenge. Throwing a challenge, though there are rare situations where it ought to be done, is something of a last resort, and if it is to be done, ought to be done via tribe consensus. One person doing so of their own free will is only going to cause chaos in the tribe, and lead to mistrust on their part. Furthermore, Coyopa still has six members. Unless you merge at twelve, you need to win at least one more immunity challenge to do better than a guaranteed tie. Finally, and most importantly, throwing a challenge gives away momentum to the other tribe, particularly when Coyopa seemed to be down for the count at this point. The LAST thing you want to do is breathe life into them. To add insult to all this injury, all this “strategy talk”, and I do use the term loosely, comes with Drew talking about how much of a “badass” he is, and how he’s actually the leader of Hunah Poo-Poo. Please spare me.
But it seems we don’t even need Drew to cause chaos at Hunah Poo-Poo. No, Keith will take care of that on his own. After looking for half an hour for the immunity idol and being unsuccessful, Keith comes to the conclusion that Jeremy must have the idol. Given the thoroughness of his search, I think Iraq will ask for him to be their next nuclear weapons inspector. Send him to a schwarma place for half an hour with no nukes in it, and he’ll be satisfied. Still, Keith and Jeremy are allies, so the first thing he does is spill the beans to everyone but Jeremy that Jeremy has an idol, and that they ought to be wary of him. Oh, sorry, that was an excerpt from the “Moron’s Guide to Bad Strategy”. That’s actually the LAST thing you want to do to your ally. What Keith did not count on is that everyone likes Jeremy more than him, and so they go spilling the beans to Jeremy. In particular, Reed seems concerned about this, which is odd since we haven’t seen much of Reed this season, when I thought he’d be more into the strategy of the tribe. Still, the fact that he’s keeping his head down is a good thing, and the fact that he seems to want to side with Jeremy implies that he knows who to be in good with. Jeremy, naturally, is none too happy with the fact that a supposed “ally” is effectively telling people to vote him off, and now puts Keith at the top of his hit list. While his reaction seemed very emotionally driven, and it’s usually not best to break up such a nebulous alliance so early, I can’t deny that Jeremy’s logic is sound. If somebody is spilling potential secrets or lies to other people, and they claim to be your ally, you really can’t trust them. Granted, I think Keith’s spilling of the beans here is more due to ignorance that malice, but the fact remains that it’s not good to have around. Not sure Keith should be the first target, but one should definitely be suspicious.
To compound the stupidity of Keith’s spilling the beans, he then figures he might need to put in a bit more effort to finding the immunity idol, rather than assuming it’s gone, Keith sets out looking again, and manages to find the idol. I understand why he doesn’t retract his story, as doing so would make him look like a schemer, but it’s still really stupid. At the very least, he could apologize to Jeremy in private.
After a long dry spell, we FINALLY get some info from Coyopa. They’re here to tell us… that there’s an immunity challenge this episode. Well THANK YOU Coyopa! We could never have figured that out on our own! In all seriousness, there is actually a bit of a point to this. Baylor and Alec have a bit of a moment in which they debate who gets to read tree mail by stealing it from one another. Baylor says that the two are like siblings, and are just playing with one another. Alec does not. He sees it as Baylor being annoying, and because this is a “Blood vs. Water” season, he has to tie it into how Drew apparently gets everything, and he gets nothing. This comparison is so forced that even Obi-Wan Kenobi would say “Take a break.” It all comes to a head when Baylor suggests boiling a pot of rice, and Alec declares that the rice pot is not clean enough, and Baylor should go do a better job of it. The two seem to resolve their differences amicably enough, but remember this for later.
I guess it was too much to ask for good, original challenges to be a constant throughout the season. This is your standard “run out and retrieve rings from the water, then throw them at a target” challenge that we’ve seen a million times and is generic. I’ll give this one a bit of credit. It has a ramp. The ramp looks nice. Yeah, despite being in the water, which is usually a plus, this challenge just kind of sucks.
Drew and Jaclyn return from Exile Island, with Drew giving us a confessional about his dilemma of throwing the challenge. This does a GREAT job at misdirecting us about whether or not he will throw it! I mean, it’s not like we’ve spent almost the ENTIRE EPISODE with Hunah Poo-Poo! No, the tribe whom we’ve seen next to nothing of this episode definitely has a shot at going to Tribal Council. In fairness to Drew, however, despite his valiant effort at throwing the rings far away from their target, I’m not sure he’s the only one throwing the challenge. Hunah Poo-Poo has to sit out three people, and while Kelley seems a logical choice, I can’t understand why Jeremy and Jon sit out, unless they WANT to lose.
As I said, the challenge is thrown and is overall uneventful, though it was fairly funny to see Keith dive into the water still wearing his hat. I have no idea how this is supposed to aid his swimming ability. Perhaps his hat is magical. Less fun, however, is the fact that Drew takes throwing the challenge as another symbol of his “leadership” and can’t stop bragging about it.
So, now we finally get to see Hunah Poo-Poo strategize, and with little exception, it’s not pleasant to watch. It starts out logically enough, with Jon opining to a few others that Julie needs to go. His reasoning is actually quite sound: when too many people are left without loved ones, they overpower those who do. To nip this in the bud, they need to start eliminating the other half of eliminated loved ones. As Julie overall contributes the least, she’s a logical target. While I normally don’t like this strategy, due to this being an individual game, the logic does make sense, as such an uprising would need to be taken care of now, before the numbers get overpowering. Why he discusses this with Natalie, who would probably be the next target after Julie, is a mystery to me, but hey, it’s better than I thought he’d do.
Drew, however, is having none of it, displaying his “leadership” by shutting down Jon before he can even explain his reasoning. Drew now says that it’s time to take off the head of the snake, the mastermind who’s been plotting against him since the first day. And who, exactly, does he think is running this malicious plot?
Kelley. He believes that Kelley is the mastermind behind everything. The only person whose screentime rivals that of Reeds, who hasn’t had an original thought in this game yet, is, according to Drew, the brains behind the whole operation. Not Jeremy, who would be the logical choice, nor Natalie, the woman who’s been exceedingly vocal about her dislike of him, but Kelley. Just let that sink in a moment. Relish in the stupidity of the logic. Now, if Drew had accused her of being everyone’s friend and unassuming, and he didn’t want to give such people a free pass to the merge, I would understand it. But he specifically uses the word “mastermind”, and I just can’t grasp this leap of logic.
Since everyone loves Jeremy, Drew fills him in on this plan. Jeremy does not take kindly to it, and once again goes on the warpath against Keith. Drew’s “leadership” rears its ugly head again, as he dismisses Jeremy’s arguments as emotional. Which they are, to a degree, but they’re more logical than yours, and simply dismissing the opinions of the people you want to align with is generally not a smart idea. To compound this idiocy, Drew then talks loudly about getting rid of Kelley RIGHT IN FRONT OF KELLEY! We’ve been seeing this mistake a lot over the past few seasons. Is doing a 360 to see if anyone’s around just no longer a “thing”? Have we REALLY reached the point of stupidity that nobody can think to do a simple spot check? Perhaps they need to play more tabletop RPGS.
This lack of strategy has riled Natalie, however, and she talks to Jeremy about getting the girls and herself together to vote off Drew, since he’s so hell-bent against them. Jeremy isn’t too fond of this, still on his “Get rid of Keith” plan, but it’s pointed out to him that Keith can be gotten rid of at any time, and Drew is really becoming a nuisance.
I’ll give this episode credit, it definitely has the most memorable Tribal Council thus far. It’s quickly admitted that there’s chaos at camp, and Jeremy wastes no time in spilling the beans on Keith’s lie. Keith retaliates that if you don’t have the idol, the best thing to do is out it, but Jeremy rightly points out that the two were in an alliance, and so they could have kept it between them. Keith scoffs at this, saying that there is no such thing as a two person alliance, and that the secret would have gotten out. Jeremy corrects Keith in that the word doesn’t get out unless someone breaks, but I think Keith may have had a point on the “No Two-Person Alliance” point. I MEAN, just look at the horrible track-record of two-person alliances, like Boston Rob and Amber on “Survivor All-Stars”, Stephen and J.T. on “Survivor Tocantins”, and Yau-Man and Earl on “Survivor Fiji”. Losers all! No, Jeremy makes this point as well, though with less referencing of past seasons. I don’t hold that against him, however. Keith admits defeat, and once again shows how sometimes those stereotypes turn out to be completely true.
Probably hoping to calm things down a bit, Probst goes to Drew for his voting philosophy. Drew comments that he wants the people disrupting things gone, but this sets off another eruption, from Kelley this time, who admits she heard Drew talking about her. A few more people admitting to the chaos, and some sniping at Drew and Keith, and the votes go in. In perhaps one of the most diverse voting pools since “Survivor Borneo”, when people still “voted their conscience”, Kelley and Keith each receive one vote, Julie receives two, and Drew the other five. “I knew there was a women’s alliance.” he says upon leaving. Drew, that my friend is what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Then the winter came, and Drew’s stupidity was consumed. And there was much rejoicing. Seriously, Drew was a major load on this game. Constantly talking a bigger game than he had, and making a bunch of dumb moves, he was absolutely the right choice. While he was probably the strongest in challenges of the choices tonight, Hunah Poo-Poo still has Jeremy, Jon, and Reed, so they’ll be ok. Plus, Coyopa lost John last week, so if nothing else, they’re back to even on strength. Drew was just an element of chaos, and hopefully Huanh Poo-Poo will be better off without him.
If nothing else, going to Tribal Council did one good thing for Hunah Poo-Poo: it solidified alliances. In the preview for next week, we saw that a tribe switch is imminent. Had Hunah Poo-Poo won, and nothing solidified before the switch, they would have been in trouble. As only Jon seems to be not totally ok with Drew going, and even he doesn’t seem too put out, Hunah Poo-Poo will now be a lot harder to break, even split up. Some would argue that Coyopa is even more united, but again, I’d say they’re about equal. Recall that Baylor and Alec had some problems, Dale hasn’t integrated well, and Jaclyn is still on the outs. I’d say each tribe has a bit of room to maneuver, though Hunah Poo-Poo still has the advantage overall.
“Hot Mess” is the official title of this episode, and it couldn’t be a better descriptor for it. While there were some good bits of strategy here and there (Jeremy was not so caught up in the Keith thing as to vote for him, and so voted for Drew), overall it was just chaos for the sake of chaos. Now, that can be fascinating, in the same way that watching a car wreck is fascinating, but this one was colored with the unpleasant and unfounded cockiness that was Drew, which made it a lot less fun to watch. On top of these problems, the challenges were boring, and the misdirection rarely worked. I say “Rarely” because one good thing the episode did was the “Previously On…” segment. Basically, it talked about how good Keith’s game had been to that point, clearly indicating that he would be a target. Had he gone, I would have said it would be too obvious. However, in hindsight, it NEEDED to be that obvious, as Drew was making such an ass of himself that nothing less could have put in any doubt that he was going home. Mind you, he was still the odds-on favorite, and I still guessed the outcome, but there were a few doubts, so props there.
Not a very fun episode in my opinion, but with one or two redeeming points. Chaos for chaos’ sake is not fun, but let’s see if next week’s mix-up can give us some of that good chaos.
-Matt
Title credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 