Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 13: Family Matters

Apologies for the lateness of this blog.  Normally, I’d start in right after the episode, but as it’s my last week in college, and one of my friends wanted to hang out afterward, I thought it more important to jump on that.  So, please understand if this blog is not as detailed as my other blogs have been.

On the upside, for the first time, I have an ACTUAL guest commentator, and not just me stealing Cochran’s name for lame “SportsCenter” joke!  Yes, for once I managed to talk a friend of mine into watching the episode with me.  While they enjoyed it, I doubt they’ll be a full convert to the show, as they disliked the outcome due to the winner being “Too much of a liar.”  Tends to not fit the “Survivor” mold.  Still, I’m glad they enjoyed it, glad I got to spend time with them, and as they provided a few insights from the perspective of someone who’s never seen the show, I’ll be mentioning their comments throughout the blog.  But enough stalling, on to the good stuff!

Our whole-season recap is pretty standard fare, but for once, we’re doing without seeing the full intro FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON!  Look, I know you fired Russ Landau, but I think it was a STUPID decision, and I shouldn’t have to go online to find the full intro.  Really, guys, just bring him back.

Also a change for this season is that we sporadically cut back to what happens at the reunion show, before the reunion show actually starts.  This is fairly interesting, though not riveting, so I’m of two minds about it.  On the one hand, it makes the episode itself feel weak, as the time for these is taken out of the actual episode.  It just looks like the contestants didn’t create enough entertainment to fill two hours.  On the other hand, this is better than taking time out of the REUNION SHOW for this, and as I say, the segments weren’t awful, so I’m willing to allow this.  Our first bit is just Probst going around and talking about how excited everyone is, and showing off an Iraq veteran who bonded with his family upon reentering civilian life (with at least one prosthesis) over “Survivor”.  Ok, pretty nice.  Nothing special, but nice.

Ok, ok, the episode proper!  We start off after Trish has left, with Tony trying to make peace with both himself and the other castaways.  No one buys it, but everyone is too busy celebrating making it this far to care.  Additionally, Spencer, despite the supposed alliance between Woo, Kass, and himself, is still on the outs, as Tony, Kass, and Woo all agree to do their damnedest to vote Tony off.  It’s at this point that my friend, whom, I should mention, is from Jersey, comments that whatever he claims, Tony does NOT have a Jersey accent, and while he’s a better representation of Jersey than, say, “Jersey Shore”, that’s not saying much, and is a particularly bad representation of Jersey cops.

Case in point, Tony and Kass are once again arguing in the morning, over whether or not Kass spilling the beans to Woo was the right decision.  They’re distracted, however, by the arrival of a boat, presumably one with food on it.  They’re right… but also with loved ones, forcing me to eat my words of the previous blog.  In all seriousness, this is actually a pretty damn good twist.  No one saw it coming, but it fits right in with the show, and gives us a good bit of levity to open on.  At this point, my friend notes that he really likes Kass’ husband, who seems like a great, supportive guy.  The other loved ones are Woo’s cousin, who gets no screentime, Spencer’s sister, and Tony’s friend.  While this might seem like a “Jonny Fairplay”/”Thunder D” play a la “Survivor Pearl Islands”, this is actually a substitute for Tony’s wife, who elected to stay home to take care of the baby.  Tony whines about it and cries, but still seems ok with it overall.  My friend here comments, and I agree, that “What did Tony expect?”  Look, man, your wife is taking care of a newborn.  To come out to see you would require her to be gone for at least a week.  Apart from the babysitting cost, that’s just a big risk for a new mother.  I’m totally on her side for this one.

One conversation of note, though, is one between Kass and her husband.  Apart from a bit of funny self-awareness on the part of Kass, when she comments that she’s getting too emotional and asks for her devil horns back, she comments that she’s made similar moves to Tony, and that it’s just sexism on the part of everyone else, because they believe that, as an older woman, she should be motherly.  While her husband does not contribute much to this argument, it does bring up an interesting perspective.  Is it perhaps true that some of the Kass hate comes from sexism?  I can’t rule it out as a possibility, but I don’t think it’s the whole truth.  Some of Kass’ moves, while possibly making sense from her perspective, from our perspective are objectively bad, so it’s not just sexism.  However, it might play a part in people’s perceptions of her.  I have no clear answers, but I can’t rule it out as a possibility.  My friend agrees with Kass, though, and this wins him to Kass’ side.  He really likes Kass, particularly as a free-thinking woman, and, like me, roots for her at this point.

Woo then shakes things up (the first time that phrase has ever been associated with Woo) by revealing that he had tree mail, informing them of an immunity challenge imminent.  Kass and Spencer are immediately clued in that this means a final two this time around, but give Tony and Woo some time.  They’re not the brightest.  Woo also comments on how awesome it would be to be named the winner of “Survivor”, and earlier swore not to make the “stupid” decision and take someone he couldn’t beat to the finals.  I’m sure this in NO way comments on Woo’s chances at winning the game.

Probst, of course, makes banter with the loved ones.  Tony complains about not having his wife out there (boo hoo), and Spencer’s sister describes Spencer as “neurotic”, a description that seems apt, and makes me wonder if, perhaps, I am secretly Spencer.  Though, don’t mistake this crucial challenge as depending on a family member, though.  They’re just there because.

Despite not helping, the family members are allowed to watch and cheer for their loved one, and this will make a big impact.  And it’s good that SOMETHING makes an impact, because, once again, this is a REUSED challenge, and one I’m not fond of very much.  A rehash from “Survivor Exile Island”, this challenge has contestants stand on top of a large pole, with a bucket attached to a rope.  Pulling up seawater, they attempt to fill a bamboo chute to raise a pole with a key on it.  Once they have they key, they dive into the water and swim to shore, where they must complete a puzzle.  First to solve the puzzle wins.  While the puzzle is fairly unique, being four poles and blocks with holes to slice through, meaning one must consider both sides of the puzzle, this challenge in and of itself just isn’t that exciting as a whole.  It requires a good story to be exciting.

Thankfully, this one DOES have a good story to go with it.  At first it’s going to seem like a Spencer/Tony duel just like last episode.  Tony gets off first, with Spencer not far behind, and it comes down to the puzzle.  Probst even lampshades it.  While I enjoy the Probst commentary, I’ll admit for this particular challenge it was a bit much.  My friend agrees, pointing out how stupid it is for Probst to commentate what the contestants know are happening.  Some reality tropes, people just can’t stand.  In any case, both have trouble on the puzzle, allowing Woo to catch up.  Shock!  Horror!  Tony and Woo’s “Fling pieces about and hope for the best.” strategy isn’t very effective, but even Spencer is stumped on this.  Meanwhile, Kass is just out of it entirely.  She’s far too careful in pulling up her first bucket, only for it to miss the chute entirely.  She doesn’t improve much with time, and even gets her rope tangled around the pole at one point.  I thought this was a clever strategy to get the pole up faster, but Probst calls it illegal, and Kass loses more time.  Seems like she’s completely dead.

Give her husband credit, though, he continues to shout words of encouragement, and just generally cheer Kass on.  She eventually finishes filling the chute, and heads to the beach.  For once, Kass’ calm, logical approach to things pays off, as in one of the most miraculous come-from behind victories in the history of “Survivor”, she wins immunity.  Chalk one up for Kass!  Love her or hate her, you have to admit that was impressive!  I shared a high five with my friend after that.  Still, I’d say Kass’ husband deserves equal credit.  His cheering probably spurred Kass on to win, and it just makes me and my friend like him all the more.

This gives us a brief reunion segment where we see the contestants watching the episode in the green room.  The atmosphere is cordial, which makes for a nice change from the vitriol of the Twitterverse between these guys, and it’s pretty cool to see something we haven’t seen before, but there wasn’t much point to it, and it felt like filler.

Back at the camp, everything seems set for Spencer to go.  Spencer, however, will not go down that easy.  Whenever he’s in trouble, he opens up a can of paranoia for Tony.  After correctly informing Tony that it will be a final two this season, Spencer points out that if he, Spencer, is voted out, then Tony has to win immunity, as both Kass and Woo will vote him out.  If Spencer is there, on the other hand, everybody will go for Spencer.  Both my friend and I see the obvious flaws in this plan, namely that Spencer needs to go at all costs, and that with Woo gone, and the final immunity most likely an endurance challenge, Spencer would likely win, and thereby win the whole game.  Still, this is Tony, logic does not necessarily enter into it.  This upsets my friend, though, as Woo’s upbeat attitude has won him over, and he doesn’t want to see Woo go.  The editing has me convinced it will go to a tie, however, and Woo’s case isn’t helped by his questioning what the tiebreaker at the final four is.  He’s informed it’s a fire-making challenge, and he seems genuinely shocked.  “Superfan” my ass.

Tribal is a bog-standard affair.  Nothing painful, but nothing special.  The only part of note is when Kass admits that she’d rather face Woo than Tony in the finals, which is a correct assessment in my book.  This makes Tony paranoid further, and only cements Woo’s demise in my mind.

They got me again.  For once, Smart Tony was with us (after revealing the real power of his idol), and he correctly voted out Spencer.  Good for him.

As to Spencer’s leaving, I actually am kind of sorry to see him go.  I can’t say I like his politics, but he played hard, had a good underdog story, and some of his snark was actually funny.  Still, his leaving only makes Kass more likely to win, so I can’t be too sorry.  My friend is even less sympathetic, due to the aforementioned Woo-liking, and a relative dislike of Spencer.  My friend’s problem with Spencer is that despite the underdog story, he came off as slightly whiny and very egotistical, which… gotta admit, I don’t have a counter for that.  Those are aspects of Spencer that came off on the show.  People just ignore them because he’s a fan favorite.  I still like Spencer ok, but maybe we ought to acknowledge the good along with the bad.

Still, this sad passing leads to a particularly funny Probst interview with Spencer’s mother, who admits that she also didn’t have any confidence in Spencer’s ability to win.  Ok, that’s pretty entertaining.  I’ll give you that one, show.

Following an evening conversation in which Woo and Kass reaffirm their commitment to each other, due to believe they can each beat the other (not an inappropriate thought on both sides, though we later find out that Woo was the correct one), we move on to the immunity challenge.  It’s a mixed bag, from my perspective.  It’s a maze, but one with the unique twist of turnstiles, some mobile and some fixed.  Navigating these, contestants have to reach four colored medallions.  These will unlock a chest with cogs that must be placed correctly to all spin.  When this happens, they will raise a flag, winning the flag-raiser immunity.  In my mind, while I’m open to change on “Survivor” some things are sacred, and the final immunity challenge is one of them.  It should be endurance all the time, it just feels right.  Somehow, Probst’s words about it coming down to just “How badly do you want it?” ring true to me.  Also, cogs for a puzzle?  Cool, but very un-“Survivor”.  But, with all that said, this is technically an original challenge.  Alright, mazes are nothing new, but turnstiles and cogs are, so I guess I’ll give it a pass.

This also means we had no “Fallen Comrades” tribute.  Boo.

Out of the gate, Kass seems to be doing well as, once again, she’s cold and logical, while Woo and Tony run around with no rhyme or reason.  Kass has a solid lead until the final medallion, where she falls behind due to not running fast.  HOW she gets lost I don’t know, as the maze should be symmetrical to be fair, and she should know the pathways by now.  Regardless, Woo and Tony are in the lead, but my friend and I are confident in Kass’ ability to come back.  While she does, mostly.  However, she’s about half a second behind Woo, who ends up winning the whole thing, greatly disappointing Kass, my friend, and myself, although my friend is happy that Woo, at least, is safe.

Probst talks with a bunch of young fans about their love of the show, and what Woo should do (keep Kass, they say).  This would be fairly touching, and they got better kids than they’ve had in the past, but my friend and I are perpetually drawn to one poor, petrified girl in the front row, who seems like she’d rather be anywhere else.  How sad.  Wish they hadn’t done that.

Back at the camp, Tony seems down and out, and makes the only pitch to Woo that he can: honor and integrity.  Woo won’t be able to argue that he played an honorable game if he betrays his ally Tony.  Woo takes it under consideration, but Kass counters, correctly, that Tony is harder to beat, and that she will not vote for Woo if he votes her out.  These are good arguments, my friends supports them (he really wants Tony to burn), and of course only an IDIOT would buy the “Honor and Integrity” argument… oh, wait, this is Woo we’re talking about.

Admittedly, I can see why the “Honor and Integrity” argument makes sense for Woo, and not just from the “He’s an idiot” standpoint.  Given his intelligence, that’s about all Woo would think of arguing, and that argument DOES fall flat if he votes out Tony.  On the other hand, he’s more likeable than Kass, and the jury would probably respect his good gameplay.

Tribal is a… oh, sorry, Woo is cutting things short to get to the vote, and so will I.  He votes out Kass.  I am not pleased.  Neither is my friend. Apart from being a stupid move game-wise, due to the jury not being fans of Kass, in my mind it makes for a less interesting final two.  It’s pretty clear that between Woo and Tony, Tony will come out victorious.  At least in my mind, Kass against Woo was more up in the air.  Some might argue that no one WANTS to see those two have a shot at winning, and so it’s a good move, but I maintain that people give them both a hard time, and that the concept of someone “deserving” to win does not, or at least SHOULD not, enter into “Survivor”.

Suffice to say, I’m sorry to see Kass go.  These last few episodes in particular, she has shone, and for all that she wasn’t very self-aware, and made some really stupid moves, she made good ones as well, and her logical demeanor is underappreciated.  She’ll definitely be back, probably as a rival to Spencer, and both I and my friend look forward to her return.

Our last pre-reunion segment is just Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Cook Islands”) talking about the need for focus at the final Tribal Council.  How obvious.  Huzzah.

The traditional final day breakfast is brought out, Tony and Woo consume it, and we see that Tony simply does not stop being paranoid.  Finding a note in the food, he hides it from Woo, and believing it may be an advantage, goes to look for the “goodies” mentioned himself.  They turn out to just be a mirror and scale, which is a nice touch, but this only cements in the mind of my friend how much of a scumbag Tony is.  I have to admit, at this point, Tony, it seems like you’re overplaying things a bit.

It’s time for the Final Tribal Council.  Our jury speeches are pretty much what you’d expect, with Tony saying he did what he did out of strategy, and Woo talking about his honor and integrity.  Did we just get “Coach” from “Survivor Tocantins” back in here?

As to the jury questions, they were fairly interesting, but nothing groundbreaking for the most part, so I’ll address them briefly.  We get Sarah, who rags on Tony for swearing on his badge and then breaking his word.  A bit bitter, but not annoyingly so.  I put her in the Woo camp, though.  Jefra is up next, trying to get Tony to reveal why he voted her off.  Tony just points out that Jefra was plotting against him, and takes this as fair game, which seems to upset Jefra.  Probably another Woo vote.  Morgan is the first one who’s hard to call, praising Tony for controlling men DESPITE his noticeable lack of breasts.  She also admires Woo’s dedication to taking a deserving person to the end (recall that she had one of the biggest chips on her shoulder after Kass’ betrayal).  Tough call, and she’s definitely a swing, but I classify her as a Tony vote.  Jeremiah comes up, and in what was a pretty funny and poignant question, asks Tony if his wife and daughter actually exist.  Tony responds that they do, which is true, but as Jeremiah said that he HATES people who swear on their family only to take it all back, I’d say he’s a Woo vote.  Tasha just asks Tony about how his strategizing went down.  Boring Tony vote.  LJ, much like Jefra, wants to know why Tony voted him out.  Tony again responds with the “prior betrayal” argument, but also points out that LJ was too great a threat to be left in the game.  Tough call, but I’d say he’s still a Woo vote.  Then we get Kass, who lambasts Woo for what we all thought: that he’s an idiot for not taking the less likeable Kass to the finals.  I’m saying that she was honest, and that’s a Tony vote.  Our vitriol for the evening comes from Trish, who is living proof that what happens at Ponderosa DOES impact the attitude of the jurors.  Trish was originally Tony’s biggest supporter, the woman in his corner, and she had no idea that he in particular had voted her out.  It was the people at Ponderosa who told her this, and I’d be willing to bet that’s what set her off.  After that rant, in which Tony came off the worse by admitting that he found it ok to swear on dead family members to win the money, I’d say Trish is a Woo vote.  Tony needs damage control fast, and who better to give it than Spencer, who not ineptly compares Woo’s gameplay to a dog on a leash, and tells the jury that Tony deserves the million.

While my call is a 5-4 victory for Woo, either the jury was just trying to make Tony feel guilty, or else Spencer’s words had an impact, because apart from Tasha, Tony sweeps the votes, which is a fairly satisfying ending, all things considered.  Makes the season look stronger, as does the final two.

As reunion shows go, this one does not stand out much, but was still fairly enjoyable.  We got some good words from the contestants, though Probst’s sharing out of the screentime was not the best.  Morgan talked about her hotness, which both my friend and I found incredibly vain and shallow.  It was funny trying to watch Probst blame the flak from the “Special Idol” on Tyler Perry, and it was just an enjoyable, if forgettable affair.  Also, the tweets were worked in much better, and there was no stupid “5 second tease” of next season.

One elephant in the room that was not addressed and I feel should have been, was the Kass hate.  While maybe not the most comfortable of subjects, Kass, having made it so late in the game, deserved a lot more screen time than she got, and much like the Dawn Meehan segment of the “Survivor Caramoan” reunion, I feel it needed to be said.  Partly, I wanted to see how Kass saw herself after all this, and partly I hoped it might make some of the haters back off.  Well, if nothing else, I look forward to seeing her in a future season.

Speaking of future seasons, I’m not at all satisfied with the return of the “Blood vs. Water” twist for next season.  While I concede that the twist worked better than I thought it would last time, I want there to be more TIME between the twists.  It just feels too soon.  I guess if it turns out to be an all-new contestants season, something different MIGHT happen, but other than that, I’m not convinced.  At first I was happy that we had a new location with San Juan del Sur… until I Googled it, and realized that it’s just another name for the locations of “Survivor Nicaragua” and “Survivor Redemption Island”, and we all know how WONDERFUL those seasons were, don’t we?  Need I say it again?  FIND NEW LOCATIONS!

But you’re not here to have me rant and rave about that.  You’re here to see my finale:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

I mentioned that if Kass won, this season would make my top five.  She didn’t win, but I have to say, the season actually comes in third overall for me.  It was just too good.  Still, that would be boring, so instead I’m going to talk about individual challenge wins.  The only rules are that they’re based on my enjoyment of the win, and that the final immunity challenge is excluded for being special.  Also, no Honorable Mentions, for the reason that I’m tired and this blog is too long already.  With that said, onto the list, starting with:

TOP 5

5. Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Philippines”): This one is simple.  I was rooting for Penner this season.  He was in danger of going.  He pulled out a narrow come-from-behind victory.  And in true Penner style, he had an over the top celebration.  What’s not to like.

4. Ken Hoang (“Survivor Gabon”): One of the less-remembered victories that will be on this list, what I like about this one is not only did another contestant I like win, but Ken is one of the few people to beat an “immunity advantage” holder.  That’s pretty impressive, and one of the reasons I think Ken deserves more love.

3. John Cochran (“Survivor Caramoan”): I refer specifically to his first individual immunity win.  His “Kid at Christmas” reaction was priceless, and who couldn’t love the underdog story of Cochran after this?

2. Stephen Fishback (“Survivor Tocantins”): His immunity win, another come-from-behind victory, and his memory skills, are the stuff of legend, and a joy to watch.  He only loses out to a larger come-from-behind victory.

1. Kass McQuillen (“Survivor Cagayan”): Eat it, haters, this is my list!  This was an amazing victory, that had me completely fooled.  I’m hopeful that Kass will get some respect for this win, as she totally deserves it.

 

BOTTOM 5

5. Sean Rector (“Survivor Marquesas”): The only reward win on this list.  While Sean’s celebration after winning the car was understandable, it was a bit too over the top for me.  Still, it didn’t impact the game much, and it wasn’t annoying, unlike the other entries on this list.

4. Tom Westman (“Survivor Palau”): Pretty much any of his individual immunities will do.  By being perpetually immune, Tom made a lot of strategization pointless on “Survivor Palau”, and just made things less interesting.

3. “Boston Rob” Mariano (“Survivor Redemption Island”): Same as Tom, only “Boston Rob” is a much less likeable person, so I was even less happy to see him stifle strategy.

2. Courtney Yates (“Survivor China”): Sorry, Courtney fans, but I found her annoying, and therefore was not happy to see her win.

1. Troyzan (“Survivor One World”): I don’t care how behind you were, dude, that celebration was uncalled for.

Well, that’s it.  Despite the fact that the Kass hate makes me sick to my stomach, this was still one of “Survivor”’s best seasons.  Hopefully, despite my worries, the next one will keep the streak.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 12: Failed a Spot-Check

Before this episode begins, I would just like to point out that of all our finalists, Kass has received the LEAST votes out of anyone.  Insult her and her strategy all you like, in terms of net results, it’s quite successful.

In any case, this is one of those episodes where I have to address the “Previously on…” segment, due to it both having many of the qualities I hate, but at the same time, for once, also being vital to how the episode is viewed, and actually had a POSITIVE impact on how I view the episode.  Still, the negative aspects must be noted.  Rather than recap just the previous episode, it goes a full THREE EPISODES back to the whole “drawing rocks for an advantage” thing, just to demonstrate how nothing has ever worked out in Spencer’s favor, and everything has worked out in Tony’s favor.  This heavyhanded narrative, apart from being something of a spoiler for the episode proper, is also entirely unnecessary.  The same effect could be achieved by saying “Once again, at Tribal Council, Spencer was denied any success.”  Right there, gets across the same narrative without going back several episodes.  As to the positive effect, well, we’ll get into that later.  For now, let us examine the episode itself, in which we see an awkward duckling turn into a strategic swan.

Spencer, after that last Tribal Council, is none too pleased with the whole “Vote went against me again” thing, though to his credit, he does not rage and storm.  He quite calmly asks Woo why he did it, leading Woo to feebly deny that he was ever with either of them.  Tony, in one of his few SMART moves of the evening, tries to stifle all conversation on this front, and at the moment succeeds.  This bears even more fruit the next morning, when Woo comes fully clean to Tony about what discussions had happened at the last reward challenge.  To any sane person, the fact that Woo was only NOW coming out with this information, whether it had already been figured out or not, would indicate that he had been disloyal in the past, and would probably be disloyal in the future, and so you should probably NOT trust them.  But of course, this is Tony we’re talking about, and he sees this as the ultimate act of loyalty on Woo’s part.  Tony goes for the bro-hug, but admits that he’s going to do the smart thing and eliminate Woo as being a possible jury threat.  This is intriguing, as it’s the first we’ve heard from Tony about getting rid of Woo.  It’s one thing to get rid of LJ and Jefra, where people at least plausibly buy this narrative that they moved against him first.  With Woo, no one will buy it.  It’s also the first we’ve heard from Tony about taking Kass to the finals, again, making Kass’ strategy perhaps seem more brilliant than previously thought.  I’d also like to point out the irony that both Kass and Tony want to take the other to the end on the basis that “They’ll get no votes.”

This reward challenge, is, unequivocally, an uncultured mess.  The mud does not mesh with the bamboo imagery at all, and this is clearly just a rehash of the early work from “Survivor Cook Islands”.  On top of that, any dignity is sapped when… OH LOOK AT THE CASTAWAYS!  THEY’RE ALL COVERED IN MUD!  IT’S JUST SO SILLY!  DUH HUH HUH!  Yes, despite being a repeat, despite being the most basic of basic challenges, despite the fact that most of the strategy is taken away when carrying is forbidden, I still love this challenge, on the primal level of “It’s funny when someone is covered in mud”.  If I had to give it some academic kudos, it’s that, for once, it’s an individual challenge, which, as I’ve oft complained, we haven’t seen AT ALL this season.  So good job there.

Tony, somewhat to my surprise, ends up winning, and I say surprise because I thought for sure that someone doing the “Hair” strategy would take the whole thing.  Tony having no hair I thought precluded his victory.  Give credit where credit is due, though: the man can MOVE mud, and as he managed to fill his bucket to the brim, he earned his reward.  In this case, the reward is pizza delivery, and I bring this up because a lot of jury members, when questioned as to why no one moves against Tony, say that there was a “Make the loved one’s challenge” feeling amongst those in the alliance.  Barring that they do a final three this season (which I’m no longer convinced of), this was the last opportunity for a loved one’s challenge, making this justification entirely pointless.

What I’ve been waiting for mostly in individual reward challenges is for someone to make an ass of themselves in the picking of someone to join them.  Tony winning the reward gives me this twofold: first he makes an ass of himself by making an anorexia joke upon picking Trish (classless), and the second is, well, in picking Trish.  Ok, you could argue that it’s better than picking SPENCER, but it would be hard, at this point, to find a WORSE decision than picking Spencer for a reward challenge.  Tony, for things like these, you want to pick someone who is maybe a little unsure of your loyalties, to make them feel good about you.  Picking the person you’re SURE is going to stay loyal to you only breeds suspicion and paranoia amongst those left behind, which will be high enough no matter who you pick.  Yet the first of many stupid decisions this episode on the part of Tony.

The pizza is enjoyed, and Tony tells Trish about the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, but lies and says it can be used at the final four, rather than the final five, where it actually can be used.  For the setup that Tony has AT THIS POINT (yes, the caps are there for a reason), this is actually a good bit of strategy.  Tony can give Trish his regular cookie, assuming that he’s effectively immune due to no one wanting to gamble in calling his bluff, and then also gets people paranoid at the final four, preventing any ties against himself and Trish.  Still, Trish points out that if Tony actually wants to go to the end with Kass, he ought to go formalize it.  This he does, with his usual Tony tact, that being “You’re an ass compared to me, just for playing the game, but I forgive you.”  While Kass at first seems in on the plan, she rightly surmises from Tony’s attitude that he really HASN’T forgotten her move against him, and also that Woo spilled the beans.  She quite rightly confronts Woo on this, and Woo, in what is a very STUPID lie at this point, denies everything.  In an effort to help ensure her place by driving a wedge between two allies, Kass confronts Tony, who just stepped out of the jungle, on this.  Unfortunately for Kass, this backfires as Tony sees this as a breach of agreement, despite the fact that “don’t talk to others” was no part of the agreement I saw.  Kass, seeing this as FURTHR breach of agreement, talks to Woo about maybe moving against Tony.  However, in doing so, Kass disobeys one of the cardinal rules of “Survivor”, which is to always check if someone’s listening before you talk about them.  Tony was right there in plain view, and he sees this as the ultimate betrayal.

What follows is an exchange that I dare not repeat, or even give the time of day.  Tony began casting aspersions upon Kass’ character and intelligence for this move, and a lot of it got so hurtful that it was just unpleasant.  A low point of the episode, for sure.

Fortunately, the low point is followed by a high point: Kass’ most brilliant strategic move.  Correctly guessing that Tony will no longer tolerate her, even for a million dollars, she decides to start a full-on insurrection.  She smartly tells Woo that Tony promised on his family to take her to the end, which really hits home with Woo, as he has no such agreement.  Some careful coddling from both her and Spencer is enough to woo Woo over to their side.  In yet ANOTHER genius move, Kass suggests that they do the one way this MIGHT actually work, which is to blindside Trish.  The only flaw is that, once again, Kass fails to spot check.  Trish happens to be wandering around, and happens upon the part of the conversation where Kass suggests voting for her.  Even more horribly, it gets to the point where Kass describes Trish as a “goat” in terms of gameplay, which is actually not that inaccurate from what the others have seen, though given what the audience knows, I’d say it’s inaccurate.  Still, Trish takes it understandably poorly, and will doubtless vent her rage later.

CHALLENGE TIME!  And if you ever believed the producers WEREN’T rigging things in Spencer’s favor, look no further than this immunity challenge, a puzzle gauntlet.  First, by sliding disks around, castaways must untangle ropes to release a key.  They must then solve two ladder puzzles before finishing with the traditional slide puzzle that creates the season logo.  While most of the puzzles are reused and boring, the first one is so creative, that I can’t help but love the challenge!  Besides, someone has to counteract Dalton Ross’ hatred of puzzles.

So yes, as a puzzle gauntlet, you’d expect Kass and Spencer, being the brainiest of the bunch, to do well, and as Spencer won, that conclusion seems to hold out.  That’s not for want of trying on Tony’s part, though, and he has a surprising lead up until the sliding puzzle where, shock horror, his strategy of “Move things around at random and hope it works” doesn’t do him any favors.

What follows is ANOTHER unpleasant argument, this time from Trish to Kass, that once again casts aspersions on character, and thus will not be dignified with play-by-play analysis.  However, as this argument does greatly impact the rest of the episode, and will likely impact the endgame, I can’t help but take a side.  Even putting away personal favoritism for a moment, I can help but side with Kass, and I feel that Trish was WAY out of line on this one.  While being called a “goat” is doubtless unpleasant, it was in the context of her gameplay, not who she was as a person.  Trish decided it was fair to criticize Kass’ person.  Not cool.  Further, while she was going to vote you out, Trish, she was not going to make things unpleasant.  You started that.  Oh, and as to that “You fly off the handle at the smallest things.” argument?  Pot.  Kettle.  Black.  I believe Lindsey would agree with me.

Fortunately, this argument isn’t drawn out over a long period of time, and we get to the actual strategy.  Woo, Tony, and Trish go off and decide to vote off Kass, as she’s “an insult to the game”  I don’t see how, particularly given some of her strategic gems this episode, but emotions are running high.  Tony also swears on his family that he’s with Woo, but fails to realize that this is a little hollow for Woo, especially after you stupidly ADMITTED that you were going to vote him off.  Normally for Woo, this would be enough, but it seems that his brain gears have some inertia from last episode, and so he goes back to Kass and Spencer, who admittedly were looking to talk to him to get him on their side.  Once again, the three agree to vote off Trish, and once again fail to look around and notice that Tony is RIGHT THERE!  Seriously, do NONE of you think to spot check?  Tony, panicking, takes Woo aside and interrogates him in a manner so brash it can only dissuade Woo from siding with Tony.

Tribal is an abomination.  It is all a continuation of the argument at camp, that makes everyone but Spencer and Woo look bad, and as I’ve stated, it does nothing but make things unpleasant.  That said, Tribal is good in that it keeps me guessing, but let’s skip ahead to Tony’s crowning moment of stupidity: the cookie play.  I give him credit that he’s not one of those people I hate who keep idols as “souvenirs”, but he plays it on himself.  Let me put this in perspective: He plays it on himself, when he KNOWS the plot is to take out Trish.  He plays it on himself when any LOGIC would dictate that he ought to play it on Trish to maximize the number of allies he has at the end of the game, and ensure that the worst that can happen is a tie at the final four.  He plays it on himself, when saving ANY cookie does him no good at this point.  The sheer stupidity of this move can only barely be contained by this blog.  Brandon Hantz (“Survivor South Pacific”) would be proud.  One could argue that it was a smart move, by making people paranoid about the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry Cookie, but isn’t having a guaranteed tie at the end better than hoping people don’t call your bluff?  Still a stupid move in my book.

Against every LOGICAL maneuver one would conceive of, Trish goes home, and despite her fairly good gameplay, after all the arguing tonight, I’m not sorry at all.  Still, as I said this was an unexpected move, and here’s where the positives of the “Previously on…” segment come in: the misdirection.  Had that preview not happened, so not overemphasized Spencer’s ill fortunes, I would not have believed anyone but Kass would be going.  By adding in that foreshadowing, it gave the episode a hope spot, and kept me guessing all the way through, which makes me very happy.  So yes, it was annoying, but absolutely necessary.

As to the fact that Tony voted with everyone else to get rid of Trish, it intrigues me.  It implies that Tony and Woo have a finals pact, and that this was the only way to win back Woo’s loyalty.  Otherwise, stupid move for eliminating an ally.

Two more quick class thoughts: while I admit that Trish was overly mean to Kass, flipping the bird to her on her way out is not a good move, Kass.  You’re hot enough water with the jury as is, don’t make it worse.  But don’t think you’re off the hook, Trish.  “Voted off for being too nice.”  Yes, CLEARLY the woman who threw heinous insults at Kass with little provocation is too nice.  Frankly, Trish. there’s little you could have done to save yourself.  It was an alliance of convenience, nothing more.

Well, with the great season winding down, it’s time to examine more closely the chances of the finalists, just like every other blog.  My take?

SPENCER: I don’t think anyone will question that if he gets to the end, he wins.  He might have an uphill battle, as I think both Woo and Kass still want to sit by Tony, so he needs to hope for a final three, and an easy immunity challenge.  Still, he’d definitely win in the end.  He played strategically, but has an underdog story, and pretty much the whole jury likes him.  It’s suicide to try and fight him.

TONY: Probably the most likely winner.  While he has rubbed a few people the wrong way, he’s more likeable than Kass, and has played more strategically overall than Woo (though this episode does change things a bit).  Assuming he can articulate well, he should easily beat anyone but Spencer.

WOO: It’s not impossible for Woo to win, but he has an uphill battle.  Like Spencer, he’s ruffled few feathers, but doesn’t really have the strategic cred to back it up, and I don’t see this as a jury rewarding apathy.  If he makes the argument that he stuck with Tony until this episode, when it was no longer beneficial, he might be seen as strategic and have a shot, , but I don’t see Woo articulating that as a main argument, and ultimately Woo’s best hope is for a final two with Kass.

KASS: Before this episode, I’d have said Kass could beat Woo in the finals, but this episode really did in her jury chances, despite her strategic brilliance in this one.  Before, she might have overcome the “hateful” stigma, as it was really just Sarah and Morgan who had a vendetta against her.  With Trish on the jury, bringing in a bunch of ill will, that fury gets reignited, and thus the jury hates her, regardless of strategic moves.  Now, she is a lawyer, and if this jury respects strategic moves above all else, and if she’s in the finals against Woo, she MIGHT have a snowball’s chance.  For however much I like her, though, Kass seems the long-shot to win.

Hopefully this great season will have as great a finale, and I look forward to it.  We might even see a “Top 5 and Bottom 5” for overall seasons this time.  However, that’s going to be very dependent on the winner.  While this season is one of the greats, and definitely breaks my top 10 list, I’m not sure it’s top 5 material, partly due to just how GOOD my top five seasons are.  On top of this, while this season has done nearly everything right, there are a few little things that bother me, and thus drag it down.  What can it do to make me put it in the top five?  Two things have to happen: first, a final two.  A final three at this point would just a sour note on top of a season sundae.  Second, surprisingly Kass needs to win.  She’s played at least a decent strategic game, certainly better than Woo, but the big thing is that it would be a real out-of-the-blue victory.  This season has gotten me time and again, but at this point, I could plausibly see any of the guys achieving victory.  Kass, not so much.  It would be the ultimate con if Kass, despite what the editing says, ended up winning the whole damn thing.  I still hope it’s possible.

In any case, great season, hope the finale is just as great!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 11: Don’t Count on it

Tonight’s episode is a bit of an odd duck in the “Survivor” world.  You may have noticed that my liking or disliking of episodes is heavily dependent on the predictability of the episode.  I might have something to help redeem the episode, but very rarely does a predictable episode get more than an “ok” from me.  This episode, however, was incredibly predictable in its outcome, perhaps more so than any other, given the mathematical impossibility of any other outcome.  However, the journey of getting there, and the uncertainty of how it would play out, made the episode as enjoyable, if not more enjoyable, than episodes whose results cannot be guessed.  But I get ahead of myself.  If the journey is the best part of this episode, let us begin where all journeys begin: by stepping out the door.

Waiting out there is another edition of:

MATT’S MESS-UP!

I’ll make it quick.  Last episode, when commenting on the auction, I noted that, due to tying for an advantage in the game, Spencer and Tony had to draw rocks to see who got it.  Tony won, leaving Spencer with what I described as “Nothing”.  Strictly speaking, this is not true.  Spencer got a rock.  And so, he joins Charlie Brown of “Peanuts” in the tradition of unsatisfying rewards.

The episode proper starts with Tony asking Kass and Trish if they were offended by his move to vote out Jefra.  Trish, being Trish, says “Of course not.”, and once again proves an intelligent confidant, but a mediocre out and out player.  Kass, on the other hand, tells us in an interview that she’s not pleased.  Wisely, she’s realized that Tony is an inconsistent and paranoid player, and that he’s gone behind her one too many times.  This is smart strategic thinking on Kass’ part, and I’m hopeful that she’ll keep it in confessional, so no one can complain.  Sadly, this is not the case, as Kass turns it back on Tony, pointing out that he’s betrayed her, and is making himself untrustworthy.  It’s not nearly as bad as Jefra’s blowout, but it quickly gets worse.  The next morning, Kass decides to sleep in for once, leaving early risers Tony, Woo, and Spencer to chat.

Now, this is not strictly related to the strategy that comes out here, but I just want to note that Spencer asks Tony how many times he was shot at, a question that only makes sense if Tony has told Spencer he’s a police officer.  Once again, this makes Tony’s “construction worker” lie entirely pointless.  Just throwing that out there, for all you people who STILL insist that Tony is a master strategist.

Back to the important stuff, it seems that Kass is one of these usual early risers, and Tony asks if she is feeling sick.  Kass, who has been listening in secretly, hears this as Tony calling her a bitch.  While I don’t agree with what I’m about to say, the episode paints THIS as the main reason for her going against Tony at this point.  I personally note the NUMBER of interview where she talks about being unable to trust Tony as being the major influence, but it seems the editors do not agree with me.  Also, in another strategic blunder, rather than keep this to herself, and scheme against Tony in the shadows, Kass confronts him directly, which devolves into something of a screaming argument.  Kass also makes it a point to say that this is like what Spencer and Tasha did to her, slighting her behind her back.  Kass, I like you a lot as a player, but imagining slights is not the way to get people to take you seriously.

We leave the fight for commercial, only to come back to… another fight, though a very odd one.  Tony decides to go up to Kass to make amends to keep the alliance together.  It’s notable here that Tony does this on the grounds that he wants to take Kass to the end so he can beat her, something we haven’t heard from him before.  Even in the event of a final 3, this means that Tony is going to have to betray either Woo or Trish, and I don’t think he’s thought of the consequences of doing so.  Again, more evidence that Tony, for all his successes, is not a forward-thinking player, even though his wanting to take someone beatable to the end is forward-thinking… ok, maybe his strategy is just confusing.

Anyway, Tony talks to Kass, who insists that Tony was talking smack about her.  Rather than do something SENSIBLE, like apologize and swear up and down that he’s with her, and maybe, oh, I don’t know, TELL her you want her in the end, Tony instead does what he always does when confronted with someone who refuses to agree with him: get angry.  In that manner, he IS like Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”).  After this strategy SHOCKINGLY gets him nowhere, Tony sulks up to camp, and vents to Trish.  I would just like to point out that in this venting, Tony actually DOES talk smack about Kass.  So, if they were imagined before, they aren’t now.  Tony is still fuming when Kass gets back to camp, and what follows is the “Survivor” equivalent of two kids in the backseat of a car playing “I’m not touching you!”

KASS: Quit acting like a four year old.

TONY: I’m not acting like a four year old, you are!

KASS: No, you are!

TONY: No, you are!

And so ad infinitum.  Neither of them comes off well from this argument, but there are two major facets that will come into play tonight.  Tony goads Kass that if she’s mad at him, vote for him, which Kass swears that she will do.  This gives hope to Spencer and Tasha, while also drives the strategic talk this episode.  The second major thing, and it’s a biggie, is that Tony, in his overconfidence, states that he has the special idol, and explains that it can be played after the vote.  In Tony’s position, this is a STUPID thing to do, as it only makes his allies wary of him.  This means that he was hiding something, and also means that near the end of the game, he’s hard to get rid of, and as he’s the main competition of the alliance at this point, that’s hardly a good thing.  The one saving grace in all this for Tony is that he doesn’t fall for Kass’ calling his bluff and asking him to reveal it, leading many people to believe that his saying that is just him blustering again, and so the fallout is not as bad as it should be.  Still, giving away information when you don’t have to is never a good thing, so it’s still a net loss for Tony.

I just realized.  People are going to use the “No one believes he has the idol” thing as evidence for his stupid moves actually being genius, aren’t they?  Great.  Just great.

So we come to the reward challenge, and … Ok, I’ll give them credit that they’ve given us an ORIGINAL challenge this time, but we’ve only got one more reward challenge after this one.  Could we PLEASE have an actual INDIVIDUAL challenge, rather than a team challenge?  Can’t deny the fun of this one, though.  Basically, each team is given a 5×5 grid of blocks with a face painted on them.  Throwing bags at the grids of the opposite team, they attempt to knock down the face.  The first side to completely knock down a grid stops that portion of the challenge, and things immediately shift over to the puzzle portion of the challenge, where each team has to put together their puzzle, so it looks like it originally did.  The first team to have it solved wins.  We have had demolition challenges before, and we’ve definitely had “throwing stuff at other stuff” before, but those are broad categories, so I don’t begrudge repetition on that level.  On top of that, this is the first time we’re seeing demolition come FIRST in this sort of challenge, and then the building, rather than the usual other way around.  It makes for a nice change, the action is nonstop, and it’s a lot of fun to watch.  I would have the caveat that the puzzle might be too easy to solve, as the blocks would just fall over backward and remain in the correct order.  However, as we’ll soon see, this ends up not being the case, and so I am satisfied.

We end up with Tony, Trish, and Tasha taking on Spencer, Kass, and Woo, a fairly even match.  IT comes down to the puzzle, but despite an early lead, Tasha chokes, and the duo of Spencer and Kass solve the puzzle first to win reward.  And what do they win, exactly?  Well, we haven’t had a heartwarming trip to deliver goodwill supplies since “Survivor Philippines”, which means it’s long overdue.  Spencer, Kass, and Woo get driven to a Filipino school to hand out supplies, say “Hi” to the kids, and end it all with a good, old-fashioned American-Style barbeque.  Not bad, all things considered.

I must say, I simultaneously love and hate this reward.  While I’m all for giving back, and am very happy that “Survivor” often takes time out to help those in need in whatever country they’re in, it does lead to the predictable “Awesome, life changing experience.” interview.

Sure enough, Woo is quick to oblige us this interview, though not after showing off some Harlem Globetrotters skills with a basketball, and tossing it into a crowd of children.  Incidentally, I can’t help but feel that randomly tossing in the basketball was a bad idea.  I can’t help but feel that those kids are going to fight over it, and someone will get hurt.  Still, I give them more credit that Spencer, who changes up the reward somewhat by pointing out that he doesn’t like kids.  Of course, this is done to set up a “Even I was moved” angle, but it does deviate from the norm, albeit in a bit of an ugly way.  Spencer, I can understand not being the biggest fan of kids, but “Little Monsters”, when they’re just happy to see you and you barely even know them?  Loss of respect points!

Woo turns out to be a natural entertainer, and Kass astutely notes that this is the most Woo’s spoken all game.  This, to her mind, makes this the perfect time to strategize, and so once the kids are back in class, things cut to the chase.  Kass and Spencer agree that Tony has far too much power to be allowed to continue in the game, and so they say they’ll make an alliance, pulling Woo on board with them.  Woo, however, seems hesitant, though that’s apparently habitual, according to Spencer.  I read it as Woo trying to make them believe he’s with them without actually offering a guarantee, but of course, Woo can’t pull off something that subtle, and Spencer and Kass see right through him.  However, for the first time in what I can only assume is 20-odd years, the sun-bleached, dusty gears in Woo’s head start turning, and he considers the possibility that maybe, just maybe, turning on Tony is the right thing to do.  Good for you, Woo, maybe you’ll finally get in the game!  For all that I like Woo, I must admit that I agree with Spencer’s assessment of him: his head’s not really in the game.  Spencer helps to quell this supposed hesitancy by offering Woo a final 3 deal, and as we head back to camp, we see that Woo may ACTUALLY mean it!  My jaw literally drops.

Poor Woo, though, is not a good liar.  Trish and Tony have a little chat after Tasha goes to confer with Spencer, and Trish, very smartly points out that if Woo says there was no strategizing, he’s lying.  Woo then comes up, and amazingly avoids either pitfall of saying there was no strategy, or telling Tony exactly what happened, but instead talks about how Spencer wants to get rid of Tasha next.  Admittedly, this is a pretty flimsy story, and Tony sees right through it, but for Woo, it’s showing some effort.  He gets a gold star.  What’s aggravating is that, in the hands of a more capable strategist, this lie could have worked.  Tony’s counter to Woo’s version of events, which Woo could not overcome, was that why would Spencer want to get rid of a solid number.  An answer that would make sense would be that Spencer KNOWS Tony would expect that, and so got a final 3 promise from Kass and Woo, and so decided to get rid of Tasha to throw Tony off his game.

Let us not forget the law of challenges: for every original challenge, there must be a repeat in the same episode.  This one is no exception, as the immunity challenge today is the “Count Things For a Combination Lock” challenge from “Survivor Exile Island”.  There’s really nothing to describe beyond that, except for the fact that unlike other iterations, where the objects have been far apart on a course, these are all six next to each other, a change that I don’t like.  It means less running, more ease on multiple looks, and prevents the strategy I’m amazed people don’t do: If you’re the first one at the obstacle, remove/throw away one of the things you’re counting.  Throws everyone off.  I suspect there’s a rule against it, but it’s never stated explicitly, so I say try it.

However, before we get into the hilarious outcome of the challenge, let’s talk about SEXISM!  It’s a criticism that’s been levied at the show in general, and Jeff Probst in particular, due to favorite castaways usually being men, and those women that are brought back being unmemorable eye candy, at least more so than the men.  The counter to this has been that the attributes that make a good “Survivor” contestant are more generally found in men, and so it’s less sexism than just data.  I’m of the opinion that “Survivor” underutilizes some great female contestants, and so give Probst and the show the benefit of a doubt.  But I’m putting my foot down here, and saying that Probst’s action at the immunity challenge is sexist.  Basically, upon taking immunity from Tasha for the third straight time, Probst notes that she’s one away from breaking the record of most consecutive immunity wins, siting Kelly Wigglesworth’s run of four wins from “Survivor Borneo” as the record.  Except that it isn’t.  If we’re going with consecutive wins, and not total wins over a single season, the record holder is actually Terry Deitz of “Survivor Exile Island” at five.  How is this sexist, you may ask?  Well, I see no reason that Tasha could not be reasonably expected to have gotten five or more consecutive challenge wins (outcome of the episode notwithstanding), and see no reason why her gender is restrictive of this.  For those who point out that competitive sports divide men’s and women’s records, I would like to point out FIRST that I disagree with that idea, and SECOND that in competitive sports, men and women are also divided by LEAGUE.  Technically, the sport they are doing may have been altered, and so comparing records would be a fallacy.  On “Survivor”, men and women run the same challenge, no difference at all.  So, to my mind, there is no REASON to divide records by gender, and it’s doing a disservice to Tasha to suggest that she should only shoot for beating the WOMEN’S record, and not the ALL-TIME record.  Give her credit, she’s damn good at challenges.

For all that I’ve complained about this challenge, I did enjoy it, thanks to its one saving grace: the difficulty level.  While this challenge has always been one of the harder ones, they REALLY ramped up the difficulty this time.  Counting the bamboo sticks in particular, with the way they were laid out, was nothing short of torture, and this is evidenced by this being the distinction of being one of the few challenges that was NOT endurance based to have a time lapse.  In the end, Spencer pulls out a victory, and I’m happy for him.

Wisely, the alliance of Spencer, Woo, Tasha, and Kass all agree to split the vote, just in case Tony isn’t bluffing.  Boys will go for Tony, girls will go for Trish.  If Tony doesn’t pull anything, they go for him, if he does, Trish.  Sound enough strategy normally, but in the one misstep of this episode, we know it won’t work.  The trouble is that Tony’s super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry Cookie negates any possibility of that strategy working.  All he has to do is nothing, and in the event of a revote, they go for him.  Once Probst says “You need to bring me your torch”, Tony pulls the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, and Tasha goes home anyway.  So, what can make this Tribal Council exciting, if we know for a FACT that Tasha is going home, no matter how the votes go?

CHAOS KASS!  After a long absence, she is back and I am happy because she saved the episode.  After Tony notes that Tasha isn’t scrambling as much as usual, Tasha goes over to ensure Kass’ loyalty.  This is a mark of both the strengths and the weaknesses of Tasha’s game, in my mind.  The positive is that Tasha is talking with Kass, the woman who ruined her game, and therefore someone she has no love for.  That she’s able to pal around with someone to ensure their vote, despite hating them, speaks good volumes.  The problem with Tasha’s game is that she’s not very subtle.  She wears her strategy on her sleeve, and it’s what puts Tony on guard this time around.  It has an additional downside this time, though, as Tasha’s sleeve-strategy involves perpetuation that Tony/Russell Hantz comparison.  Now, normally such a comparison is used in a derogatory way, and that’s definitely how Tasha means it.  Kass, however, remembers a different facet of Russell Hantz, namely the “Jury Suicide” facet of his game, and this makes her reconsider flipping on Tony.  Just to ensure that she’s not doing something stupid, she confers with Woo before heading off to Tribal, though we don’t see the outcome.

It’s another good Tribal tonight, but not for the usual reasons.  Apart from some good back-and-forth between Tasha and Tony, we don’t really get much good wordplay.  Fortunately, we don’t know HOW exactly Tasha is going to go home, but it’s fascinating to debate what method will be used.  Unfortunately for most, the direct method comes out the winner, as Kass decides with Woo to stick with the original plan, and send home Tasha.  For all that her game is not as flawless as some people claim, I did become a fan of her over time, and I’m sorry she’s gone.  She brought a cheerful attitude, a good mind, and for all that she was a bit too up front about how she wanted the game to go, rather than let the game develop as it will, I came to like her.  Tasha, you will be missed.  Hopefully another All-Stars or Fans vs. Favorites will give you another shot.  There is one good aspect to Tasha’s exit, though: the only two women left are the oldest women from the start!  Older women do not get enough love on “Survivor”, and so I’m happy whenever they succeed.

But enough dilly-dally!  I’ve been teasing all night that the journey of how Tasha would be voted out was the most interesting part of the episode, and would help dictate the course of the game.  So, where do I stand?  Was this path the correct one, or a shortcut to disaster?  It’s a bit of a tough call, due to a guaranteed outcome either way, but I’d have to say that no, Kass and Woo should have stuck with Spencer and Tasha.  I understand the argument.  Tony may have some egg on his face, whereas Spencer and Tasha do not, and so would be hard to beat.  However, as someone who does not fully buy the Tony/Russell Hantz comparison, I feel that their reasoning is faulty.  I put it to you that, barring an EXCEPTIONALLY bitter jury, Tony would beat either Woo or Kass.  Thus, for both of them, they need to be seen as not being Tony’s lapdogs, to make moves outside of him.  As it is, they weaken any strategic argument they can put forth.  On top of that, it would have flushed the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, which would only make me happy.

Still, there is ONE good thing to be said for this move: it PROVES that Kass does not simply play based on her emotions, as some have claimed.  Kass HATED Tony.  From the looks of next episode, she STILL hates Tony.  Yet she voted with him because she saw it as her best move.  It may not be the best strategy, in my opinion, but it is strategy, not emotion.  You’ve got to respect that.

Sadly, I believe that next week’s episode may be the worst of the series.  By not flushing Tony’s super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, he can guarantee safety for himself and Trish next week, the last week he can possibly play it.  This makes it impossible for anyone to overcome Tony, and this might lead to a boring and predictable conclusion.  Still, stranger things have happened.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 10: Fool’s Glory

If “Fool’s Gold” is a rock that looks like gold, but is in reality worthless, then “Fool’s Glory”, when it comes to “Survivor” is a moment that might have been glorious, but actually turns out to come to nothing. Not to say that this was a bad episode, far from it. If anything, I’d say this episode was a “Diamond in the Rough” for the few hidden gems it had, and what I believe may be potential foreshadowing towards the end. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Jumping around a little bit, we know that this episode will be the traditional reward auction. It seems we’re not the only ones, as immediately after Tribal Council, everyone on Solarrion (shudder) sets about gathering as much salt as possible. Afterwards, they consider the possibility that an advantage of some kind will be up for grabs at the auction, and so having salt as a garnish is pretty much useless. Not wanting it to go to waste, they decide to dump it into the only receptacle immediately available, that being the open, gaping wounds in Spencer’s ego after the outcome of that last vote. The two main offenders here are Tony, who repeatedly reminds Spencer that he wasted an idol, and Kass, who repeatedly and annoyingly congratulates herself on calling that Spencer had the idol. I’ll admit that it was a good call on her part, but bragging about it in front of the person you “got” is not a good way to win friends and influence people. You’ve already burned the bridge with Spencer, Kass, there’s no need to reignite the ashes. Still, Spencer seems to take it in stride, saying that he and Tasha lost that Tribal Council, but that does not mean they are out of the game for good.

Morning comes with Tree Mail heralding the aforementioned reward auction, specifically by the usual envelopes of money… stuck up Woo’s ass. How is this funny, exactly? Look, I’m sure in real life Woo has an immaculate ass, but you’ve been out there for 29 days without a shower, I’m pretty sure anyone’s ass is going to be disgusting after that. I don’t want my envelope of money to come out of there. Then again, after 29 days, I probably don’t care.

As to the auction itself, it is a staple of “Survivor”, and one that I usually enjoy, and it DOES technically fulfil my request for an individual reward challenge. All this is well and good, but it’s not really a “challenge”, more “reward” than anything. I want to see the strategic opportunity/pitfall that is having to decide who to take on the reward trip, dammit! So many big moves come out of people scorned by the reward trip, is seeing it here too much to ask?

Giving this auction it’s due, though, it does manage to be unique in an enjoyable way. Most auctions, you’ll see dinky food items going at ridiculous prices, with only one or two genre-savvy people saving for what has become the very predictable immunity advantage. This time around, a total of three people (Tony, Tasha, and Spencer) hold out for the idol, while the other four bid for food, but in small increments in case some special twist comes up. I believe the most expensive food item sold for $100 (Quesadillas to Jefra), while the cheapest got away for $20, a record low for the show (Kass, who ended up with a steak sandwich due to a “covered choice” pack). Chronologically, Trish grabs the first item of popcorn, jellybeans, and a soda for $80. It’s here that she starts annoying telling Tony to “eat something”, not realizing that he’s clearly holding out for immunity, and that there are two other people ALSO not bidding whom you REALLY do not want to get immunity in your situation. I’m going to be talking a bit about finals possibilities later, but remember this scene, as it may show what the PERCEPTION of Trish is, rather than the reality. We then get Jefra’s quesadillas, followed by Kass, who gets her steal because everyone incorrectly assumes that as the second covered item, it will probably be disgusting food that “Survivor” loves to throw into these auctions. However, it turns out to be a “Monty Hall” type choice, but Kass, defying the odds, keeps her item, and ends up with the aforementioned steak sandwich. Probst does not reveal the next item, but instead puts it up for bid, which surprisingly people are excited about, when I would assume that’s the gag item. Sure enough, Trish ends up paying $60 for boiled water and a small bowl of rice, in other words, the stuff she’s been eating for the past 29 days. Next, we get some ribs and a beer, which go to Woo for $60, due to his being denied on the last few bids. Probst, fed up with the lack of action, then skips straight to the advantage, after establishing what was already obvious, i.e. that Tony, Tasha, and Spencer were holding out for an advantage. Now, in past years, the strategy has become “Bid $500 instantly to guarantee the advantage”, a strategy invented by Jaison Robinson of “Survivor Samoa”. I’ll admit it’s good strategy, but it’s gotten old, particularly in these sorts of cases where you have multiple holdouts, and so it’s just who has the fastest reaction time. Fortunately, the producers have realized the same thing as me, and have once again worked their magic. In a phenomenal twist, now if the bidding for an advantage reaches $500, ANYONE who pays that amount gets a shot at it, but have to draw rocks with their fellow winners to get it. Black rock wins, white rock loses, simple as that. Tony, realizing that this may get others to chicken out, bids $500 anyway. Spencer also does the same, but Tasha, remember past auctions, realizes that a clue to the hidden immunity cookie may also be in the offing, and so decides to hold, rather than take a 33.3333333333333333333333333333333…. well, you get the idea, percent chance at winning the advantage. Because the universe hates Spencer, he loses the draw, and the auction ends for both himself and Tasha. Suffice to say, this twist, combined with a new way for things to play out, made this a fun and unique auction, one that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Back at the camp, Kass admits that she WAS holding out for immunity, but after seeing that three others were as well, decided to let them squabble over it. Wow, bad strategy, I wonder what could make this interview worse? She badmouths Spencer again, someone who has done NOTHING to her, as far as I can tell. At least Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”) had the justification that his tribe actually hated his guts. I’m trying to like you here Kass, quit making it hard. In any case, those with food in their bellies are too redolent to work, causing Tony no small amount of annoyance. And it’s her we find out that the “advantage” Tony won had nothing at all to do with an advantage at the next immunity challenge, but instead is a clue to the next hidden immunity cookie. Supposedly it’s by a large white tree at the end of the beach. You’d think such a thing would be easy to spot, but we head to commercial with Tony still unsuccessful.

Coming back, we see that Tasha and Spencer, out of sheer desperation, have devised a new plan. Tasha will spend as much time visibly talking with the other women around, so as to help get Tony paranoid. This plan is further exacerbated by the women’s perceived laziness, and Spencer’s telling Tony that despite all appearances, Jefra actually WAS on board to get him out. At first, it seems like Tony will actually be circumspect about the whole thing, pointing out that while it is a possibility, Spencer will say anything to keep himself in the game, and therefore while the matter should be looked into, Tony will not simply take his word for it. However, since Tony is Tony, this of course does not stick, and with absolutely no new information to go on, Tony decides to simply take Spencer’s word for it, and decides to go look again for the next hidden immunity cookie. After a short while, he is actually successful, and it’s at this point that I need to discuss Tony a bit. Given his erratic gameplay, his very brash and forceful personality, his shaved head, and especially his propensity towards hidden immunity cookies, many “Survivor” strategists have been comparing Tony to Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”). While this most recent cookie find would indicate parallels, which are there, I must negate this notion. Tony, in my mind, plays VERY differently from Russell Hantz. While Russell, like Tony, could be made to be paranoid about his own allies, I feel like Tony falls for it much more easily. Russell at least needed some concrete evidence, or at least what he perceived as concrete evidence, before he would go that far. For another, these guys play for the end, but in very different ways. Say what you will about Russell, he came into the game with a firm plan, did not deviate from it, and so doing executed a good path for himself to the end twice. The flaw in his plan was that he foolishly did not consider the opinions others had about him, and so bombed at both Final Tribal Councils. Conversely, I don’t see Tony coming in with a whole-game strategy beforehand, and I believe he’s more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants strategist. On the other hand, I believe Tony actually DOES realize the importance of being well-like in the end game, or at least of being better liked than your opponents, hence his decision to axe LJ a few episodes age. Again, while they do have the similar propensity towards hidden immunity cookies, I will say that Russell overall was better at knowing when and how to play them. Finally, and this is the big one for me, their attitude towards their fellow contestants is what really separates the two of them for me. Russell is a chauvinistic, egotistical jackass who had almost zero respect for anyone he played against. Tony, for all his badmouthing of those outside the alliance, does seem to actually respect the people he plays against, and considers them legitimate threats to his continued success. Yes, Tony has been a bit brash, and yes, I’m sure there’s more backlash than we’ve seen, but the overall perception seems to be that Tony when Tony brags, it’s not so much because he’s smart, but because he managed to best YOU personally, which is no small feat. When Russell bragged, it was only for his shameless self-promotion, and not a form of respect in any way. Put simply, the difference between their games is that Tony in the end could actually win, while Russell in the end would have no chance.

However, all this talk of Tony is distracting from the missed opportunity of the episode. When describing her “Make Tony Paranoid” strategy, Tasha admits that’s she’s talking to the women only for this reason, and that a “women’s alliance” is off the table. What Tasha and the other women fail to realize is that this WOULD actually be a good strategy for all involved. While Tasha might be able to beat the guys, she’s on the outs, so ANY alliance benefits her. As for the other women, while I don’t think it’s IMPOSSIBLE for them to win up against Tony, Spencer, or Woo, it would be an uphill battle at least. Spencer is well-liked and well-respected as a strategist, Tony for all of his brash nature has played a very upfront and somewhat strategically sound game, and Woo is a nice enough guy that he will win in the event of a bitter jury. On top of that, these guys are MAJOR physical threats later down the road, getting rid of them now would be great. Let me see, the downside to this women’s alliance is… NOTHING! It pains me to see such an opportunity wasted, but I guess that’s how these things go sometimes.

Back to the game proper, having found yet ANOTHER hidden immunity cookie, Tony decides the best course of action is to go show it around to everyone in his alliance. Normally I would decry this strategy, as it has no guaranteed benefits, and reveals a large part of your hand, but in Tony’s case it makes sense. Given that he has his super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, he loses a lot less by revealing that he has one cookie, given that he has a backup. For another if he’s paranoid about a women’s alliance, showing that he has a cookie might make people think twice about flipping. On top of that, it DOES make Tony seem like more of an alliance man than he actually is, and so there’s not much of a downside for Tony.

Challenge Time! And today’s challenge is actually a bit unique. Having dug up a series of five bags attached to a rope, and having removed five balls from said bags, the castaways have to maneuver those balls down a maze, and into five separate notches. The first person to get all five balls into a notch wins immunity. This challenge does draw from pasts seasons, notably resembling challenges from “Survivor Tocantins” and particularly “Survivor Philippines”. Now, I’ll admit I liked the difficulty in the previous incarnations better, particularly from the sadistic “Survivor Philippines” challenge, and the zigzag maze is pretty boring (I’d have preferred a more complicated one), but this challenge mixes formulas JUST enough to avoid my hated, and the fact that it’s a challenge with a different skill set than usual (and NOT an endurance challenge), means I’ll give it a pass. Tasha must be running on something more than desperation, I figure, because she wins again, and props to the woman for an impressive winning streak.

Surprisingly, things actually move fairly fast once we’re back at the camp, but not before we get yet ANOTHER interview with Kass, once again saying how happy she is that the alliance is sticking together, and that tonight will be a foregone conclusion. Any seasoned “Survivor” watcher should know that this means that things will not go smoothly tonight, but apart from Kass once again demonstrating not-that-great strategy, I think there is some significance to this interview being shown, and particularly Kass getting three interviews tonight when she did almost nothing of note this episode. Because of this, I can’t help but wonder if Kass is being set up for a win.

Hear me out on this. True, Kass’ move at the merge was a dumb one, most everybody agrees on that one. However, if you look back at the episode, editing did pretty much everything in their power to make it seem like Kass was making a good move, showing egotistical interviews from Sarah, and editing debates to make Sarah seem like the unreasonable one in the whole thing. What purpose does it serve them to portray Kass in a positive light, if she doesn’t win? Moreover, Kass has been getting a disproportionate number of interviews to her actually impact in the game on an episode by episode basis, and they’re usually about strategy or something similar. Seems to me like the sort of thing they’d do if they want to set up someone as a winner who objective opinion might say they do not think would win, or would not want to win.

I can see through the internets that some of you are skeptical. “But Kass is hated by the jury! There’s no WAY she can win!” you’re shouting. You have a fair point, Kass has an uphill battle, particularly as two members of the jury (Morgan and Sarah) hate her guts. However, I don’t believe it’s impossible. Playing fast and loose which chronological continuity, Jefra goes home this week, leaving a final 6 of Kass, Spencer, Tasha, Woo, Tony, and Trish. Going against the “Next Time On…” preview, as those are often misleading, let’s say that Kass, Woo, Tony, and Trish stick together, and Spencer and Tasha are eliminated one after the other. Now, let’s assume that anyone can win immunity at the final 4, and that a final 3 will face Final Tribal Council this year. I know there’s three episodes left, meaning four people will be left at the final episode, and true, the return of the final two would be the crown jewel on this marvelous season, but given the production crew’s track record, it’s too much to hope for. Now, getting back to my point, it would be hard, and it would depend on the overall attitude of the jury, but I believe Kass could be beat Tony, Woo, or Trish in a final 3 scenario. Since in such a scenario it’s unlikely that Trish goes home, let’s assume that either Tony or Woo is voted out. Woo, for all that he’s a nice guy, has not visibly played the game in this scenario, and if the jury respects good gameplay, Kass has the most out-there resume for such a thing, and might just be able to argue that her flip was the right thing to do. Up against Tony, while he made more strategic moves, Kass can argue that she was less abrasive than Tony, but still had good strategy, riding the annoying one to the end for an easy final vote. As to Trish, while we the audience can see that Trish is playing a good, subtle game, the trouble is that it’s, if anything, TOO subtle. The problem is that the perception of Trish, I believe, is exemplified by what we saw at the reward auction: abrasive, annoying, and making decisions that are not strategic. True, Trish has a good chance of winning if she argues the “good at reading people/persuading Kass” angle, but I’m not sure she’d argue that. I think she’d go more for the “Tough older woman who was concerned about survival.” angle, which doesn’t generally hold much water with a jury. Admittedly, there is a flaw in that the editing also seems to be setting up a Spencer, Tasha, and Kass final 3, and I don’t see a scenario where Kass beats either Spencer or Tasha in a jury vote. Still, there is Tony’s super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, so I’m not sure if that scenario is still likely.

In any case, getting back to pre-tribal strategizing, Tony at first makes it pretty clear that since Tasha is not an option, and he wants to get rid of one of the girls due to a real threat of them forming an all-girl alliance, he decides to go for Jefra, playing up the “She turn on me first.” bullshit angle. Foolishly, he decides not to tell Kass or Trish about this, as once again “They wouldn’t understand.” Yeah, try that and see if that works Tony. Fool them once, shame on you, fool them twice, shame on them. I’m not sure they’re going to take this sort of thing lying down again. Well, Trish might, but Woo could potentially be persuaded.

Our misdirection for the evening comes in the form of Spencer not trusting Tony. Gee, I wonder what gave him THAT idea? In any event, he decides to go searching for the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, unaware that it already sits in Tony’s cookie jar. Tony does not like this, and tells us he’s still considering Spencer. I don’t buy that particular misdirection, there is one I do buy: screentime. While the editing has built up a Jefra exit this evening, she’s had about 10 seconds of screentime this episode, or about 1/6 of her screentime overall on the show. Spencer, in contrast, has been seen a LOT this episode, indicating he might go.

Tribal tonight in an underwhelming affair, so I’ll just get to the important bit: it got me. Yes, despite every warning light going off in my head, I still thought Spencer was an exit possibility. Jefra is indeed the one who left, and I am NOT sorry at all! She’s easily the most forgettable person from the season, and the only person left I genuinely did not like. Apart from eliminating the supposed “beauty” tribe altogether, it means that of the six people left, there’s no one I don’t mind winning. True, there’s some I would prefer above others (Kass and Spencer being the top choices, Woo, despite his personality, residing at the bottom), but I won’t complain about the result now! Should make for an exciting finish!

This episode was good buildup with a few gems like Tony’s neuroticism and the auction thrown in to make it above average. This season is on a roll, let’s pray it doesn’t stop in the coming weeks!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 9: Papaya Represents Your Life

This is it! The “Survivor” comic book event of the year! The issue you’ve all been waiting for! The clash of the two biggest “Survivor” superheroes of all time! One is the old guard. The former heroin addict with the heart of gold, able to charm the pants off of man, beast, and some inanimate objects, the strongman supreme, he is: SUPER VYTAS! The other is the new guard, a rookie looking to prove himself, smarter than an immunity cookie and able to construct spy shacks with a flick of the wrist, he is: SUPER TONY!

Sorry, “Survivor Cagayan”, but Super Vytas beats Super Tony any day in my book. Not that this episode wants you to believe that, as this is arguably Tony’s most successful episode to date. But it seems even HE is trying to sabotage his chances right out of the gate. As I expected from last episode, Tony genuinely believes he can just vote out LJ and then go back to his old alliance with no consequences. His justification, and I feel it is an insult to justifications everywhere to use the term to refer to what Tony says, is that they “Wouldn’t have understood.”, and that “Sometimes you need to just not know.” This is about the most pathetic justification there is, in my book, and someone would have to be truly braindead to buy it… AAAAAND there goes Trish swearing undying loyalty to Tony. And if this comment seems a bit mean-spirited don’t worry, Trish will get a lot of praise later on, and I need to take cheap shots where I can get them.

Less easily swayed is Jefra, who is understandably more than a little put out that her ally LJ is no longer in the game. Not only is this a smart conclusion, but it’s the most emotion out of her we’ve seen over the past 9 episodes! Huzzah! Tony’s case isn’t helped by the fact that Spencer keeps butting into the conversation, pointing out that the six was not as tight as previously believed. You wouldn’t think that Tony would need help digging himself a hole, but Spencer seems to have a shovel. I will give Spencer this: for all that he’s not very successful this episode (spoiler alert), he is playing a very proactive game, and near as I can tell is doing everything in his power to stay in the game. This is an admirable sentiment, as well as strategy, and I commend it, even if I don’t commend his political choices or his favorite past castaways.

It seems that Tony also has a bit of self-knowledge. He has the self-knowledge to see that the situation he put himself into is a bad one. Ok, points for trying, but Tony, perhaps it would have been better to simply NOT get yourself in that situation in the first place? Now, the counter-argument could be made that LJ was a major threat to Tony, and therefore needed to be taken out. While this is true, I maintain that it was too soon, and sticking with the plan would have gotten rid of another big threat in Spencer. Still looking for that upside.

So, with this newfound self-knowledge, Tony’s course of action is to… build ANOTHER spy shack. REALLY? Are you THAT determined to make “Spy Shack” a THING, Tony? Look, it’s good to have a hobby, but this just doesn’t grab at the “Survivor” consciousness. It is no “Ninja Stealth Mode”.

In fairness, I actually do think that Tony has a fair plan here. Having made the astute observation that many strategy conversations take place at the water hole, due to its relative distance from camp, he decides to make himself a hiding spot, and wait to overhear conversations. I do like this observation of his, and while I do commend his suspicion after this move last episode, I think his plan has a few flaws. For one thing, are you planning to sit out there ALL DAY? You’re going to miss some important things, possibly strategy conversations that take place on the beach. Also, you’ll be missed around camp, and people would become more suspicious. For that matter, isn’t it suspicious that a giant pile of leaves and sticks just stacked itself by the water hole overnight? It seems a little suspicious to me.

Not so to the members of Solarrion (shudder) it seems, as sure enough, in one simple edit, Jefra and Trish start gossiping about Tony. Jefra (here’s a shock) is still bitter about it for some reason, and Trish admits that she’s suspicious of Tony, calling him a “good actor”. They don’t agree to do anything about it just yet, but Tony is now on his guard with the pair.

Off to the reward challenge, and… really? ANOTHER team challenge? Look, guys, if you wanted to keep doing team challenges, DON’T HAVE THE MERGE! Dear God, they even SAY “Solana” and “Aparri” on the side of the boats they were going to use today! It’s the merge! A team challenge is good for a change-up once in a while, but at the merge, we expect all challenges to move to an individual level of competition. Or, if you’re not going to give us that, at least give us a new twist. Here’s a freebie idea for you: Have the merge, and then a few episodes in, split back up into tribes. People would never see it coming, it would fit within the confines of the game, and could potentially shake up a majority alliance that’s making the game boring. You can have that one for free.

In case I haven’t made it clear, I HATE this challenge. It’s your standard “row out and collect things, then solve a puzzle challenge.” I’ll give it credit that the puzzle solution is clever (“Worth Playing For”, in case you were wondering), and that collection oars is a fun new way to get puzzle pieces, but we’ve had this challenge before, and even arranging objects with letters to make a word or phrase isn’t new. Is there just something I’m missing? Is there a perfectly logical reason we can’t have original challenges after the merge? If anyone knows, or has insider information, please, tell me! I’m DESPERATE to find out what the problem is, and what will give us the beauty of good, individual challenges again.

Spencer, Tasha, Jeremiah, and Jefra end up on the Solana tribe (I don’t CARE if they’re not a tribe, the name is on the boat, therefore they’re the Solana tribe), while Kass, Trish, Tony, and Woo end up on the Aparri tribe. From this, you might assume that Solana, being more physical, has the advantage in this case, and you would be right in assuming they win. However, they fumble at various points, making for a good back and forth challenge. Ironically, what upsets things is Kass on the puzzle. She insists the solution is “Worth Fighting For”, despite having a “Y”, but this leads Solana to figure out that it’s “Worth Playing For”. Everyone on Aparri is dejected at losing the reward, but doubly so due to most correctly realizing that Jefra, upset about the previous vote, is the most likely to flip, and therefore is the WORST person to be alone and happy with Spencer, Tasha, and Jeremiah.

Back at camp, Kass in particular is upset about the loss, being tired of it, but takes the view that if it means she wins the whole game, she’s fine with it. Sure, Kass. Just keep telling yourself that, and everything will be all right. What really gets me here is her insistence that she HAS to stick with the new Solana alliance, when she admitted earlier that her strategy was to be the swing vote. On top of that, she claims that she’s sticking with the new Solana since she can beat them. Um, Kass, you’ve pissed off a lot of people by flipping. You MIGHT win if you go up against Jefra and Trish, but even that’d be an uphill battle, and if either Tony or Woo makes it to the end (which is a distinct possibility) they beat you, no competition. Admittedly, her chances are little better going up against Tasha, Spencer, or Jeremiah, but at least if she flipped back she might heal a few wounds, and would have a more coherent strategy argument to present to the jury.

Still, she and Tony console themselves with strategizing. Or at least they would, but Trish has more important things on her mind, namely papayas. Of course! It’s all so simple! Why didn’t I ever see it before? Papayas are the key to “Survivor”! Truly, they are the strategic masterminds, what we all tune in weekly to watch! But they are underrepresented! We should honor them! Let’s change the slogan from “Outwit, Outplay, Outlast” to “Outpapaya, Outpapaya, Outpapaya”. Let’s change the phrase from “Fire represents your life.” to “Papaya represents your life.” Hell, let’s just bite the bullet and replace Jeff Probst with a papaya.

In all seriousness, I really don’t get Trish’s thinking here. Even WOO later admits that he’s nervous about Jefra being off with the minority alliance, and yet you think NOT strategizing when there’s no one around is a good idea? Be thankful I have kind words for you later, because you’re NOT angling to get any at the moment.

However, it is this gathering of the all-important papaya (praise be unto him) that leads to the previewed footage of Woo hurting himself. There’s really not much to say about it. He gets a bruise, and we all knew he would be alright and wouldn’t be medevaced, partly from the lack of a mention it got in the previews, and partly due to Woo giving interviews from after the accident BEFORE THE ACCIDENT OCCURRED! This is not good editing, people.

Tony at least tries to give us some entertainment, by going off to strategize with himself. Seems a bit counterintuitive, but I’ll let it slide. It seems that what Tony means to do is to go off and look for the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, which is good. For a twist that was so advertised, and so used as the selling point of the season, we haven’t seen or heard much about our super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie. It’s about time we started getting some payoff, but more on that later.

Over at the reward, the worst fears of everyone except Trish (for those wondering, splattered papayas are Trish’s worst fear) come true, as after going through some spectacular caves, and feasting on a picnic lunch that makes everyone at home ravenous, the strategy talk begins. Jefra once again expresses her doubts in Tony, but is still on the fence about flipping. Cue the letters of plot convenience! No, it seems the “Survivor” Gods are attempting to make up for the family letters debacle from “Survivor Vanuatu”, in which Rory Freeman was stopped from spectacularly destroying the camp by a timely letter from home. This time, a letter (Jefra’s) encourages her to lie and do whatever it takes to win the game. This is an intriguing development, at least if it lasts.

The immunity challenge this week is at least challenging, and definitely better than the reward challenge, but not by much. A new take on the “Balance a ball on a plate” challenge, this one has castaways stand on an increasingly narrow balance beam, while holding an increasingly lengthy pole with a disk on top of it, and perched on that disk is a ball. Last one standing with a ball wins. While this challenge is difficult, as I’ve said, it’s not original, not very unique, and to top it all off, it’s effectively ANOTHER endurance immunity challenge (the memory one counts). I’m a fan of endurance challenges, don’t get me wrong, but like anything, when it becomes overused, it becomes annoying. Give us some variation in our challenge types here!

As one would expect, only the truly desperate and Woo succeed at this test of determination. In the end, a battle between Tasha and Spencer results in Tasha’s victory, and I give her credit for a challenge well-won. Actually, if the season went down how I thought it should, with the person with the best balance of smarts, strength, and sociability winning (I refuse to say “Brains”, “Brawn”, and “Beauty” on the grounds that doing so would equate beauty with being friendly, which psychological biases aside, is not always the case), Tasha would probably be victorious. Despite a few flaws I’ve noted previously with how she interacts with others, she has played a pretty good game on all fronts. So yeah, I’ll give her this immunity challenge, and let her enjoy it.

Getting back to camp is where the real action starts, and where Trish truly shines. Say what you will about her, she’s good at telling when people are insecure. She notes that Jefra seems to be looking a little off, and a bit of prodding reveals that indeed, Jefra is plotting to vote out Tony for his various faults. Trish, in a BRILLIANT move in my opinion, bashes Tony with her, but also explains (along with Kass) why they need to stick with Tony. Speaking of whom, Tony has been putting in a concerted effort to track down the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie, and sure enough, finds said cookie beneath a “Rocket-Shaped Tree” (I’m not seeing it.). Good for him, and it seems the cookie does what we were told it does. Truth be told, this does answer one question I had going into this episode. For all that the Tyler Perry Cookie was heavily advertised before the season started, and one of the first things to be brought up come the merge, we’d heard very little about it. I was starting to think that the twist was not perhaps on the contestants, but on the audience. “Survivor” has been known to go out of its way to fake people out; notably recall the fake merge of “Survivor Thailand”. It wouldn’t be out of character for them to advertise an all-powerful idol, just to watch contestants and viewers alike scan for an idol that wasn’t there at all. Admittedly, I thought this unlikely, as it would only work once, and could alienate some viewers, but it WOULD have been a good twist. Sadly, this is not the case, and the idol works exactly as advertised. Thus satiated, Tony goes down to help calm down Jefra. It helps a lot that Trish, seeing that Jefra needs confidence in people other than Tony right now, bashes Tony as well. This brings Jefra back into the fold, and on the urging of Kass (who has correctly deduced that Spencer has an idol), the decide to go for Jeremiah, as Tasha is immune, and Jeremiah is the less obvious choice. This strategy makes sense.

Well, Jefra, you’ve sunk yourself pretty low by starting to have good strategy, and then blowing it by deciding NOT to do that after all. Can you make it any worse? Evidently she can, as she flat-out TELLS Jeremiah that she’s defecting back to the new Solana. Jeremiah sees this as his death knell, and goes to tell Spencer and Tasha his greatest secret: he’s a model. Spencer’s remarks on how big of a secret that is mirror my own thoughts. Spencer then, however, decides he needs to reciprocate, and shows off his cookie. While I’m normally against this, and I think the justification is stupid. Unless they were going to vote off Jeremiah regardless, there’ll never be another time to use the cookie as good as this. Sharing it only helps you strategize.

To help round off this episode, we have a pretty damn good Tribal, once the obvious is out of the way. Once Probst takes several questions to establish the fact that Tasha, Spencer, and Jeremiah are on the bottom, we get a lot of good moments. Spencer’s attempt to split apart the new alliance was masterful in my opinion, but Trish had a good counter. A bit rude, as she talked over Spencer, but she made good counter arguments. Spencer threatens that if people continue on their present course, everyone will vote for Tony, which is a good way to stir up suspicion, but I don’t entirely buy it. Tony may be more DESERVING than some, but he’s got an ego, and bitter juries are a thing. I doubt it’s entirely bluster on Spencer’s part, but I wouldn’t fully buy it. Jeremiah trying to sell Spencer under the bus by highlighting his smarts was entertaining, and of course Tony can’t have a Tribal Council without showing off his “bag of tricks”. Yeah, quit trying to make that a thing too, Tony. These need to be organic. Like “Ninja Stealth Mode”.

We even get a bit of a twist after the vote. After a pretty apt diss at Woo’s talking style at the vote, Spencer goes up to play his idol on himself. Tony, in what is a stupid yet entertaining move, holds up his wrapped idol. I get that everyone assumed it was a fake, but that’s a BIG risk for no reward, Tony. In the end it doesn’t matter, as Spencer, Tasha, and Jeremiah were out predicted, and Jeremiah is sent home, which is not a loss in the least. Woo, if nothing else, is a great character, and while Jeremiah seems like a nice enough guy, he really brought nothing to the game, so I’m not sorry to see him go. Now we just need to get rid of Jefra, and all will be right with the world.

Will Tony be paranoid again next week? With the super special, double chocolate, Tyler Perry cookie in tow I doubt it, but this season, stranger things have happened. Another awesome episode in what has so far been among the best of seasons! Highly looking forward to it.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 6: Kontrolling Khaos

Yes, yes, I am well aware that both “Controlling” and “Chaos” are not spelled with a “K”. It was clever alliteration, given the central focus of this episode, as well as an homage to old 90’s cartoons, where everything cool was spelled with a “K”. Or, I should say, everything “Kewl” was spelled with a “K”. But I’m not here for a history lesson, I’m here to talk about “Survivor”, and as there’s a LOT to get to this episode, I should waste no more time, even though by simply mentioning it I am dragging out even longer, thereby denying my few readers what they came here for. Let this madness stop now, only to start right back up with the start of the episode.

For once, we have a fairly positive after-tribal experience, where everyone talks about how good Tribal Council went, and how the six of them are really truly united. Somewhat surprisingly, it’s Sarah, the person who has the LEAST reason to stick with the new Aparri, who brings up this line of thinking. Guess she must really want to be with them. She also prophetically brings up the “What if there’s a merge tomorrow?” possibility. There’s always one.

Dawn breaks, and we get what SHOULD be another reaffirming conversation on the new Aparri. Kass and Sarah have gone out to collect firewood it seems, but also to size up the tribe. Kass says that she’s most worried about two people flipping: Jeremiah and Sarah. Um, Kass, I agree that Sarah’s not as trustworthy as some (Kass’ point about one vote to save your skin meaning nothing was very poignant), but has it occurred to you that YOUR TALKING TO SARAH? It might therefore be prudent to maybe NOT show distrust to the person you’re talking to? The person you’re supposedly ALLIGNED with? Just a few friendly suggestions. I’m not letting Sarah off that easy, though. My criticism of her gameplay will come a bit later, but I will say on a personal level, I find her attitude towards her integrity overdramatic. Oh dear, someone accused you of being untrustworthy on “Survivor”, who would have guessed? I’m not saying it’s nice to hear those things, and I’m not saying she doesn’t have a point about Kass’ attitude towards her, but she acts like questioning her integrity is the worst thing anyone can do to her. Sarah, you’ve come on “Survivor”, your integrity is GOING to be questioned at some point. Things between the pair seem to be smoothed over with a handshake, but something tells me we haven’t seen the last of this conflict this episode. That something is called “I’m writing this blog after the episode has aired, so I already know what will come back this episode and what won’t.”

Solana is much more copasetic, simply partying until tree mail arrives telling them to pack their things, there’s a merge coming. A similar tree mail arrives at Aparri, though this one warns that company is coming. Spencer gives it his all to unify the six, which seems to work. Before long, the new Solana shows up at camp via what is called a “rowboat”, despite the obvious motor noises. They bring supplies, food, and nice new black buffs. There is also a note, explaining that a new cookie with “special powers” is in play, though what these special powers are is not specified, at least to the cast. The audience has known about them for a while. Basically, this cookie reverts back to how it originally worked on “Survivor Exile Island”, and “Survivor Cook Islands”, where it can be played after the votes have been read. We get stock phrases from people about how badly they want to find the cookie, and how it will change the game for them, blah, blah, blah. There are a lot better interviews to get to tonight, so I’ll skip over an in-depth analysis of people’s desires for the cookie for now.

I will, however, take this time to express my opinion on this particular hyped twist for the season, colloquially called the “Tyler Perry Idol”. Yes, I know they’re “cookies” this season, but as “Tyler Perry Idol” is a proper noun, it will be referred to as such. I’m fairly divided on the introduction of this new cookie. On the one hand, I think it’s an unexpected twist that will hopefully give rise to new strategies, and does, in a sense, fit in with the “Survivor” mythos. One could even argue, given that the cookie from Luzon never got used, that this is just a mutated form of that cookie. On the other, there’s a REASON that cookie usage was changed as of “Survivor Fiji”: it was far too powerful. It was basically a free ride to the finale for whoever found it, as everyone was too afraid to ever vote for the person holding it. Admittedly, this incarnation of it is probably not as bad, for the sole reason that it’s not on Exile Island this time. Until “Survivor Gabon” only alpha males got regularly sent to Exile Island, and so were the ones who found the cookies. This time, things are more even, but it still seems broken to me. As it didn’t really come into play this episode, I will reserve judgment on the wisdom of this twist until we see if people can overcome this cookie. I think it’s possible but we’ll see.

The new tribe is quickly agreed to be named Solarrion, a name which I cannot stand. If I haven’t said this before now, let me be clear that I HATE it when people just merge the names of the original tribes to form a new name (in this case SOLana, apARRI, and luzON). Look, the tribe names are given for a REASON, they usually mean something in the language of the region. In this particular case, I believe they refer to specific regions and cities in the Philippines. It does NOT make sense to mash them together. Also, could you be a BIT creative? I like to see what people come up with. No, this will NOT merit a “Top 5 and Bottom 5”, as while the name Solarrion is stupid, there are worse portmanteau names to be had. Don’t worry, though, there is a “Top 5 and Bottom 5” coming, you’ll get your extra long merge blog.

As they picnic, the new (shudder) Solarrion tribe sizes each other up. Jefra comments on her disappointment that Alexis was voted out, as she could have been swayed to join with the new Solana 5. Jefra, you do remember Jeremiah, right? That guy you considered flipping with? That guy you were close to? That guy who might flip back again if only you’d ask? No, we’re just not going to talk to him, and throw all our eggs in the “Sarah” basket? Ok, it’s your torch snuffing.

Tony, for once, is actually making sense, propositioning Sarah with the prospect of joining back up with him, adding Trish and Woo to the mix to make a solid foursome. Sarah says she’ll consider it, but when Tony asks her to swear on her badge, she refuses, as she’s still uncertain. This clearly shows how many scruples the pair have. Tony has absolutely no qualms about the whole “badge” thing, while Sarah takes it really seriously. Oh, and Sarah? This is a TERRIBLE way to play both sides of the fence. It’s bad enough you don’t stop bragging about it all through the episode, but in order for that strategy to work, you need to NOT waffle on what side you’re picking. That’s what got Dolly Neely (“Survivor Vanuatu”) voted out. I know the badge thing is important to you, but again, this is “Survivor”. Learn to play it a bit better.

Speaking of playing things wrongly, Sarah’s next move is to go chat with Kass and Jeremiah about what the whole side is going to do for Tribal Council. Sarah is adamant that either LJ or Tony, being the physical threats, have to go, but Kass and Jeremiah think that Trish and Jefra are the more appropriate targets, due to no one suspecting them, and therefore it is unlikely that either will be given the cookie at Tribal Council. Sarah counters that neither is a threat in challenges, are strategically useless, and they can be gotten rid of at any time. To bolster her argument, she swears up and down that Tony at least does not have an cookie, and she suspects LJ doesn’t either. This actually surprises me a little, as I would have thought Tony would have told Sarah about the cookie as incentive to flip. And if he didn’t, Sarah, how do you know he has no cookie? Did he tell you? Yes, and you can surely trust the guy who’d say anything to get you on his side to tell you the truth. Admittedly, Sarah’s main point is that they ought to go for Woo, which Kass and Jeremiah readily agree to, but they make the good point that Woo could win immunity. I’m sure this in NO WAY means that Woo will win immunity this challenge, no sir!

Oddly, JEREMIAH of all people is the one who questions this assertion, rightly guessing that since he doesn’t have the cookie, and Jefra and Morgan didn’t have the drive to look for it, LJ probably found it. As to where my strategic sympathies lie, I have to admit, I side with Kass and Jeremiah on this one. At this point in the game, for the new Aparri alliance, the one major factor that could ruin everything is the playing of an cookie. Kass and Jeremiah are right when they say that Jefra and Trish are the least likely people to get cookies. Also, as to Sarah’s “They can be got at any time.” argument, it is true. You say that about them at this Tribal council. And the next. And the next. And before you know it, that person who you could “Get out any time” is sitting in one of the top spots. It continually boggles me that people don’t start seeing the “Under the Radar” players as strategic threats come the merge, they’re really dangerous. What Sarah fails to realize is that there is more to the game than just eliminating the physical threats.

Even if I DID agree with Sarah’s choice of targets, I certainly wouldn’t agree with her attitude. I’ll admit that being the swing vote gives you a lot of power, and that it does entitle you to a certain amount of decision making power, but it does NOT give you the right to dictate the targets at Tribal, especially when you frame it as “I will not vote for persons X, Y, and Z.” That makes you seem untrustworthy to certain people in your alliance. Kass, for example. Incidentally, while my sympathies were with Sarah in the last conversation, due to the fact that Kass WAS basically saying that she personally could not trust Sarah, I fail to see how Kass was being a bully in this situation. It seemed like Kass was just trying to have a good strategic conversation, and Sarah got whiney and adamant when it didn’t go her way. Again, you have more control that others, Sarah, but at a certain point, you just have to go with the majority.

Speaking of Kass, the pair have a minor verbal altercation in front of the fire, overheard by Trish, who comments that it may be useful in breaking up the new Aparri Six. More on that later. In the meantime, Tasha is called in to moderate the rift between Kass and Sarah. Both state their side of the argument. Tasha tries to be impartial, but admits that she’s a little nicer towards Sarah, as it’s more important that she be kept happy. However, this inadvertently alienates Kass, who reads between the lines, and thinks that Sarah has replaced her in the hierarchy, which from what I have seen is not true. Kass complains that Sarah should not receive special treatment just because she’s the swing vote, but here I have to disagree with her. She needs to be kept happy (not to the degree that Sarah THINKS she should be kept happy, but kept happy nonetheless), and so you need to pander a little bit.

I suppose this is the time I should talk about Kass’ overall gameplay, as I think this episode, and this scene in particular, brought out both the good and the bad in Kass. I’ll get into what I thought of her move this episode after I summarize it, but her overall gameplay can be summed up here. I still like Kass and root for her. I think she has a lot going for her that people don’t give respect to. She’s a middle-aged woman (at this point), not particularly physically strong, on the losing side of the first vote, yet despite setbacks and lashings, mostly from Spencer, she’s kept going, and has shown to be a mental threat. One thing I really admire about Kass is that she makes very logical decisions most of the time. Apart from her decision to oust Garrett over J’Tia in the first episode, every decision she’s made has been well thought-out, and done for good strategic reasons. Where Kass’ gameplay falls short is that she’s a very literal, up-front person. She’s almost Vulcan-Like in her manner. When she says things like how Sarah may not be trustworthy to Sarah, she doesn’t mean them maliciously, she’s just explaining her strategic viewpoint. Unfortunately, Kass seems unable to turn it off, and so ends up saying things that offend others, or else put them on their guard, when it really shouldn’t. The other problem with this is that Kass expects others to do the same. Therefore, she can’t pick up on the subtext of Tasha’s mediating, and takes Tasha’s decision at face value. The hypocrisy here is that this upsets Kass, when she seems to think it shouldn’t upset others, but as these things go, it’s not that bad of a hypocrisy. Bad for the game, maybe, but not bad personally. Still, this limits Kass’ gameplay, and hopefully she’ll have learned from it next time she comes back. And trust me, she will come back after what happened this episode. Anyone who names themselves “Chaos Kass” and earns it basically guarantees themselves a spot in the “Survivor Hall of Infamy”.

Now we’re on to the first immunity challenge of the merge, the big one, the one that sets the tone for the whole… Yeah, it’s a reused challenge, and I’m not happy. Hailing from “Survivor Caramoan”, the point of this challenge is to stand over a triangular prism on increasingly small wooden slats, until you end up balancing on a beam at the top, last one standing wins. Look, I’m all for endurance challenges, but this one is unremarkable, particularly given how it ends, and I’m just not a fan of reusing challenges. If there is one good thing to be gleaned from this, it’s that we get to look at the new individual immunity idol. It’s not the best thing to come out of this season production-design-wise, but it looks pretty awesome, and fits in well enough.

Woo wins! Who would have guessed?

Back at the camp, we get what would normally be a dispersal of dramatic tension right off the bat. Sarah admits that after her waffling, she’s sticking with the new Aparri, because they’re weaker. Ok, I’m a casual fan of Sarah, but even I am appalled at how short-sighted and simplistic her gameplay is. Sarah, there is more to this game than physical strength. Still, she reaffirms this bond with the new Aparri, though not before pulling a Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”), and forcing everyone to vote for Tony, despite EVERYONE ELSE saying that Jefra is the better move. First J’Tia’s “Brandon Hantz” (“Survivor South Pacific”) tantrum, and now this? When did THESE GUYS become the paragons of strategy? Still, I can’t fault her strategy. While there are a few united fronts in the new Aparri, the new Solana is a strong 5. Going with them is suicide for the sixth. As I said, normally this would defuse the pre-Tribal tension, but I’m ok for three reasons: First, they kept it going all before the immunity challenge, which was just about when that story got old. It made the pre-challenge scenes exciting, and didn’t stay overlong. Second, it gave us the hilarious scene where she admitted to Tony that she was siding with the new Aparri (not in so many words, but even Tony can see the message), thus making Tony squirm with the shock of someone not obeying his every command. And thirdly, there is something else there to create new tension.

That something is Kass. In a brilliant move, Trish gets over her hatred of anyone not from Boston, and deigns to talk to Kass, casually asking her who she would like to vote out, regardless of tribal lines. Kass, still miffed at Sarah, gives Sarah’s name, and says she’ll consider voting with Trish and the gang. Trish runs to tell Tony, who swears he will use his idol anyway, just to be safe, which is probably a good move on his part.

What starts out as a fairly natural Tribal quickly becomes one of the most explosive gambit pile-ups ever seen! Going in, it looks like the targets are going to be Tony and Sarah, and Kass’ smart comment about how Tony and LJ ought to be scared as physical guys post-merge ought to be. But then it turns out that Tony will pull a Malcolm Freeberg (“Survivor Philippines”), and pull out his cookie. He smartly decides NOT to say who he’s playing it on, thus creating chaos amongst the new Aparri. But THEN it turns out they had a contingency plan for this, all agreeing to go for the “other guy”, while the new Solana says they’ll go for the “same guy”. So Probst has them vote. But THEN it turns out that Tony wasn’t playing his cookie on himself, but on LJ. But THEN it turns out that LJ also has an cookie, wants to share, and he’s reciprocating by playing his cookie on Tony. But THEN it turns out that the new Aparri wasn’t going for LJ at all, but Jefra. But THEN it turns out that Trish’s strategizing worked after all, and Kass flipped to vote off Sarah. But THEN it turns out that Probst was never really Jeff Probst at all, but really Old Man Smithers, that creepy janitor in the background of the early episode, DISGUISED as Jeff Probst so as to steal the CBS fortune!

Ok, perhaps that last part was actually an episode of “Scooby-Doo”, but it wouldn’t have surprised me. I’m usually not one to buy the hype whenever someone describes an upcoming Tribal Council as “shocking”, but this one takes the cake for me. It almost totally lives up to the hype. I say “almost” because once Jefra’s name came up, I knew Sarah was going. It’d been built up, and there’s no WAY someone this late in the game would be voted out with that little screentime. Still, before that the misdirection was phenomenal! This season just keeps topping itself, one great episode after another. While I would rather Jefra have gone over Sarah, I’m not too sorry to see her go. Given how she was hyped, this performance was just disappointing. Sarah’s strategy was basic at best, and I found her really annoying this episode.

Now, does this coupled with the fact that I am still a fan of Kass, and am pulling for her all the way, mean that I think Kass’ move was a good move? ABOSLUTELY NOT! This was a HORRIBLE move for Kass, and I’m very ashamed that she made it. Like I said, going with the Solana 5 is SUICIDE given how tight they are, and it pisses off pretty much everybody on the jury. You’ve moved from a spot where you were almost GUARANTEED the Final 3, to a place where you’re 6^th at best. This is clearly a detriment. I can’t believe Kass really felt she’d been replaced that easily, and I also don’t get why Tasha or somebody didn’t go up to Kass in private and reaffirm an alliance. I guess they felt they didn’t need to, and it makes me all the more ashamed that the person I root for was so easily mislead. Now, I could KIND OF understand the move if it looked like Sarah had all the power, and that Kass’ idea of voting off Jefra was ignored. But the thing was, THEY WENT WITH THE PLAN ANYWAY! AND BOTH IDOLS WERE PLAYED! HAD YOU STUCK WITH THE TEAM, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN IN AN ENVIABLE POSITION! The only POSSIBLE logic I can see in this is if Kass didn’t understand who the “other guy” was, but even that’s a flimsy excuse. Some would argue, I’m sure, that if Kass wanted a chance at actually winning, she had to get rid of Spencer and Tasha at some point, as their games are more up front and likeable than hers, to which I say that I agree, but do that later, when the new Solana is more fragmented, and you can sweep up a few stragglers.

The one good thing to come out of this move is more wit from Kass. Spencer makes a comment about how Kass can no longer win the game, and I’m proud to say that she doesn’t cave to this, and instead responds ‘That’s a long way away.” implying that she’s going to keep trying her hardest to win despite the odds. Given how similar these comments are to Jim Rice’s (“Survivor South Pacific”) after Cochran’s flip, I’m proud that she weathered them well, and like her response. May she’s better even than I am, and can pull out something that’ll get her to win. Still, my hopes are not high, and so I begin counting the seasons to another “All-Star” one, where after tonight, Kass will most CERTAINLY be invited back, hopefully wiser.

Oh, and since I’m sure that many people will bring up Cochran’s flip on “Survivor South Pacific” for comparison and evidence that Kass’ flip was a bad idea, let me just say this now: YES, Kass’ flip was a bad idea, but NO, the comparison to Cochran’s flip is not there, and YES, I still maintain that Cochran’s flip was entirely justified. The difference here is that on “Survivor South Pacific”, Cochran’s ENTIRE TRIBE admitted they neither liked him, nor trusted him. Cochran had nowhere to go, his chances were equally as good, if not better, with the Upolu who PROBABLY wouldn’t let him near the finals, versus the Savaii, who DEFINITELY wouldn’t let him near the finals! How is this different from Kass’ situation, you may ask? Well, whereas Cochran had FIVE people against him, Kass only had ONE person against her, whatever she may have perceived, as well as a solid threesome with herself, Tasha, and Spencer. I like Kass, but I really can’t justify this one.

Still, this season has been dry of:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

So let’s have another one, shall we? The topic of this one is Tribal Councils, meaning the event and not the place this time, as I think this one merits a spot. Three points of note here: I’ll just be listing the season of a tribal council, and describing which one I mean, as giving the episode number is, I feel, not helpful enough. Secondly, first and final Tribal Councils are out, but anything else is fair game. Finally, as my bottom five would just be unmemorable tribal councils if I played this straight, the bottom five will be devoted to crazy tribal councils I didn’t enjoy. With that said, let’s get down to business… uh oh… urge to quote rising… can’t… control… TO DEFEAT! THE HUNS!

 

TOP 5

5. “Survivor Gabon”: Now, one of the things I love about “Survivor Gabon” is that it had a lot of GREAT Tribal Councils, so it’s hard for me to pick just one that I love. However, if forced to choose, I would have to go with the last Tribal Council before the merge, the one where Marcus was voted out. Ken Hoang is one of my favorite contestants of all time (bring him back, CBS), his only flaw being cockiness, but to be fair, he EARNED his cockiness with this Tribal Council. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was stacked against Ken, yet he somehow managed to turn it around and remove one of the power players of the game. It gets put this low only because while this one was personally exciting, I’m not sure how well it generalizes to other people. Plus, there are a LOT of good Tribal Councils coming up, like this next one, for instance.

4. “Survivor Palau”: You all know where I’m going with this. The last Tribal Council of the season that was not the final one certainly wins points for being unique. Due to an overlong final immunity challenge, Tribal Council was held right then and there at the challenge. Not a particularly exciting one, as we all knew that Ian was getting voted out, and for very schmaltzy reasons, but it was a new event, and fun to watch for it.

3. “Survivor Caramoan”: Like “Survivor Gabon”, this season has a lot of great Tribal to choose from. I’m probably taking the obvious choice here, but the Tribal where Malcolm busted out two hidden immunity cookies to save himself and his ally Eddie really takes the, um, cookie. Watching everyone scramble around right in front of the minority alliance was fascinating to watch, just a lot of fun in general, and led to a lot of smart commenting, Erik’s noting that showing the idol does not mean playing the idol being a stroke of genius. Above all, I’m happy with the outcome, that being the exit of Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard.

2. “Survivor Cagayan”: Yes, even a really recent Tribal Council can rank this high. Like I said, this one had gambit on top of gambit, and while I’m not as satisfied with the outcome as I am with the one from “Survivor Caramoan”, this one just had too many crazy strategies and unexpected moves to get anything lower than two. But what could beat it.

1. “Survivor Micronesia”: This Tribal Council is one of the reasons “Survivor Micronesia” is my favorite season. Nobody but nobody expected Erik to give up immunity. Just when you thought the stupidity was over for the season, this was the coup de gras. I remember my jaw just hanging open for a good five minutes after it happened, something that, while the most recent Tribal Council made an admirable effort, cannot be topped. It’s just too crazy.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor All-Stars”: Not many of you may have seen this one, but there’s a deleted scene from the first episode of the season where the Chapera Tribe pretends to be Saboga attending the first Tribal Council. It headlines Rob Cesternino (“Survivor The Amazon”) as Jeff Probst, and it is simply HILARIOUS! I can’t put it on the list proper because it isn’t a “real” tribal council, per se, but it still deserves mentioning. If you find it on Youtube, give it a watch. It’s short, entertaining, and well worth your time.

 

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Borneo”: Ah yes, the first real “twist” Tribal Council the show ever had. Taking place right after the merge, crew, fan, and generally every-with-a-heart favorite Gretchen Cordy was voted out, leading to tears from several. Well, if it was so moving and memorable, why the bottom of the list? Actually, I didn’t find this Tribal Council all that memorable for either good or bad, but many remember it as the day the game changed, and that deserves some credit. Given that, even with me, those memories tend to be somewhat negative, as Gretchen was voted out for purely strategic reasons, when everyone agrees she should have won above anyone, this has to go on the bottom of the list, though really more for others than for myself.

4. “Survivor South Pacific”: In a parallel to tonight’s Tribal Council, we get to once again mention the infamous Tribal Council where Cochran flipped. While I admit I respected the move more on this one than I did for tonight’s, the fallout from both is what determined where they fell on the list. And while Cochran’s move was crazy and exciting, the amount of ire he earned from his fellow castaways just made it unpleasant to watch, and still makes me feel a little sick just thinking about it. Good move or not, Cochran did NOT earn that tongue lashing he got from Savaii afterward.

3. “Survivor Samoa”: This is the Tribal Council where Foa Foa took control, the one where Russell played an idol so that the Kelly that no one remembers was voted out. While a surprise to all (due to Shambo’s flip, and the surprise idol play), and certainly exciting and pivotal in the game, I don’t like this one. While surprising, it was not as exciting due to sort of being engineered (i.e. from an idol play rather than strategizing with others), and frankly, I supported Galu, so it was a shame to see them crumble like that.

2. “Survivor One World”: If there’s any move more stupid than giving up immunity… No, wait, there’s NOTHING more stupid than giving up immunity, and giving it up at the tribal phase is PARTICULARLY stupid. I’ve talked a lot about why this move and this council stink, so I’ll just keep it short and sweet here. I really don’t like this Tribal Council, and it would be number one but for the technicality that Bill’s exit was not exactly “memorable”. Not so for our number one spot though.

1. “Survivor Nicaragua”: Yes, it takes two people in good game positions quitting for virtually no reason to make an awful Tribal Council. While I stand behind my opinion that “Survivor Nicaragua” had several good features that were often overlooked, I have to admit, this REALLY drags it down. It just felt wrong, had all the fans who would have loved to have played screaming in agony, it was just unpleasant. And the sad thing is, it was so unpleasant it became memorable, and will probably never leave, to my great regret.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Pearl Islands”: Another season with many memorable Tribal Councils, but this is the first quit, specifically Osten’s quit right before the merge. Again, like the one from “Survivor Nicaragua”, it’s just painful to remember a quit. It gets an honorable mention basically because it was first, and that made it fascinating and slightly endearing in some ways. Still, a quit is a quit. It’s not fun, and needs to be acknowledged as such.

Well, that’s about it. Here’s to hoping Kass can pull off a miracle.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.