BREAKING NEWS! It seems that the case of Michael Skupin, former “Survivor” contestant from “Survivor the Australian Outback” and “Survivor Philippines”, has not yet been closed. Skupin, who had previously been convicted of Possession of Child Pornography and Running a Ponzi Scheme, had already received a sentence of jail time, and was forced to make reparations to those he had wronged. But now, a new judge has ruled, this punishment is insufficient.
“I hated him on ‘Survivor’ and just want to see him suffer.” said the judge.
What follows is a quote from the new judgement entry, detailing Skupin’s additional punishment:
“…WHEREAS the defendant has been found guilty of the charges listed above, the defendant is hereby ordered by the court to watch, on loop, the Nuku tribe of ‘Survivor Game Changers’ engage in the greatest act of hunting since Skupin’s pig hunt on ‘Survivor the Australian Outback’, and catch a goat, only to let this valuable food source go. Further, it is hereby ordered by the court that concurrent with said sentence, Skupin will be forced to listen to Jeff Varner’s ‘The spear, the spear, the STUPID spear.’ confessional on an endless loop, until such time as Skupin assumes the fetal position in despair.”
Pretty harsh. Well, fortunately we’ve got an entertaining and unpredictable episode of “Survivor” to help tide us over. After our “Previously On…” segment that feels no need to feature Ciera in any way, shape, or form, we cut right to the swap, since that’s going to be our main focal point for the episode. Nuku expresses an expected amount of disbelief that Tony was voted out, with particular emphasis on Sarah’s reaction, since she’s his former tribemate, after all. Ok, perhaps I’m nitpicking, but WHY is Sarah shocked by this? I mean, COME ON, Sarah herself tried to vote him out on “Survivor Cagayan”. She KNOWS how dangerous he can be, so WHY is this in any way surprising? I’ll tell you why. It’s because Sarah is not good at “Survivor”. There. I said it. Come at me.
Ok, ok, now I’M the one being harsh here, but the way I’ve heard some people talk about Sarah really bothers me. A lot of people seem to be giving her a free pass, saying that her elimination only happened because “Kass was crazy/stupid.” This offends me not just as a Kass fan, but as a logical person. Sarah did NOT play this flawless game that was undone by dumb luck. She CLEARLY didn’t understand the targeting strategy of going for a non-threat so as to flush the idol, and declared herself the “President” of the tribe. No WONDER Kass flipped on her. Someone who talks like that, while not a moron or anything, clearly doesn’t know their way around the game, and are not this misunderstood genius who got screwed by forces beyond their control. Sarah is as much to blame for her loss as Kass is, if not more so.
But getting back to the season we’re ACTUALLY watching, Probst tries to tease someone into pointing out that a tribe swap is on the way. Superfan Zeke does oblige, and for once it’s not Probst trying to make the contestants assume things for the sake of making them look like idiots. No, there truly is a swap, from two tribes to three, with a green Tavua tribe now entering into play. And man, is Tavua screwed. Since we’re at 18 players now, we don’t get the “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X” benefit of an extra member to play with, and the supplies, while slightly better than what Angkor got on “Survivor Cambodia”, are pretty meager. Already, I can see the PTSD flashbacks of Jeff Varner and Michaela. Does Tavua have any upside? Their name is the coolest of the three, I guess…
Well, Tavua does at least get Ozzy, so that’s helpful. They also get Cirie, Sarah, Andrea, and Zeke, with only Troyzan coming from the old Mana. The new Mana, meanwhile, keeps Caleb and Hali, while gaining Brad, Tai, Sierra, and Debbie. As to the new Nuku, this is where the bulk of the old Mana end up, with Malcolm, Varner, Aubry, Sandra, and Michaela coming over. Only J.T. gets to stay on Nuku. So yeah, the original Mana are pretty royally screwed at this point. On two tribes out of three, they’re the minority, and as to the new Nuku, you got a fractured bunch. Yeah, there’s five of them, but Sandra pitted herself against Aubry and Malcolm, so they’ve got no reason to say loyal to her, particularly as her terrible challenge performance will be thrown into sharper relief on a smaller tribe. At least they’re decent physically. Yeah, Sandra and Varner won’t be winning any awards in challenge performance, but they’ve got the single strongest woman (Michaela), arguably the only two players to rival Ozzy in terms of challenge performance, and while Aubry isn’t the greatest, she’s no slouch either. Actually, all the tribes are pretty even, with the new Mana perhaps being at a slight disadvantage, due to their song physical players being more “jack-of-all-trades” than anyone who stands out.
Of course, though, the big story is the reunion of Caleb and Tai. We’ve got three “Survivor Kaoh Rong” members on one tribe now, which is interesting in and of itself, but Tai and Caleb are of particular note, since out of the “Kaoh Rong Four”, they’re arguably the tightest. Malcolm becomes the voice of the audience, encouraging Tai to kiss Caleb. He obliges, we all go “Aww.”, and we head off to see what our new tribes are like.
Malcolm is in full-on snark mode at Nuku, taking in how nice the camp is. The kicker, for him, is that Nuku found the time to hang giant glass balls from the tree. He doesn’t put it particularly wittily, so it’s hard to convey in writing, but the sheer exasperation of Malcolm is simply hilarious.
J.T. comes in to harsh our buzz, reminding us that he’s on the bottom of these people, and since he doesn’t know about Mana’s dynamics from before the swap, I can’t really fault him for reaching this conclusion. What I CAN fault him for is his solution.
Think back to “Survivor Tocantins” for a minute. J.T. was a MASTER of social manipulation. This is a guy who LITERALLY got a contestant to put J.T’s victory over his own. He stopped just short of having the jury literally eat out of his hand. So, you’d expect him to put that social manipulation to heart, right? Nope! Time for another “Look for the hidden immunity idol.” scene.
Admittedly, J.T. does bring a new flare to such a scene in the way he’s able to get time to look for the idol. We’ve seen people drive others away from camp to look for the idol, but usually such scenes required a confederate to pull off. See Earl and Yau-Man’s tag-team on “Survivor Fiji” if you want a great example of this. But J.T. manages to pull one off by himself. He convinces everyone to go out snorkelling. Malcolm manages to bust the fishing spear (so we know what Rupert Boneham’s (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) court punishment will be, should he ever be convicted of something), and J.T. volunteers to go back and fetch the pliers to fix it. J.T. DOES get the pliers, but then takes the time to look for the idol. While J.T. couldn’t have PLANNED for things to work out in such a way that he could easily slip away, it’s still a mark of how charming he is that he was able to pull that off at all. Sadly for him, his hunt is not as successful as he would like. The sheer number of interesting-looking trees are too much. J.T. hunts in the old Mana bags, but finds nothing. He even, in a moment of brilliance, tries digging underneath the tribe flag. Some may scoff, since the whole “Idols are in trees” thing has become accepted canon for a reason, but J.T. is digging in a place the idol has been hidden before. It’s where Amanda dug it up from on “Survivor Micronesia”, and I applaud J.T. for remembering that obscure little bit of “Survivor” history.
Unfortunately for J.T., his lack of success costs him more than just an idol. Charming though he is, Jeff and the rest soon realize that he’s using the time to look for an idol. Logical thinking. What I DON’T get is Jeff’s dismissive attitude on the whole thing. He claims that whether or not J.T. finds an idol, it “Doesn’t matter.” Um, Jeff? On a tribe of six, on a season where splitting the votes is no longer a guarantee of success, with only ONE GUY, you want to target, finding the idol REALLY DOES MATTER! Also, why doesn’t everyone row back and try and stop J.T.? This just makes no logical sense!
Thankfully, we move over to the new Mana, who also give us another “We’re on top/We’re royally screwed!” dichotomy. About the only thing new and different is the dynamic between Caleb and Tai. Having no sense of subtlety, Tai just goes around advocating that Caleb stay. Hardly a hard sell, since Caleb is arguably the strongest one left on this tribe, with only Brad providing real competition. Honestly, Tai’s actually probably HURTING Caleb’s chances by emphasizing their connection, since that’s the most likely reason Caleb would leave this episode. Caleb does little better, revealing that the old Mana was “chaotic”, but Caleb is in the minority, and therefore has less to lose by revealing tribe dynamics.
We also find out that it was Brad’s idea to hang giant glass balls everywhere, as a tribute to Monica. Because of course it is.
Zeke gives us our requisite “Everything at this camp SUCKS!” confessional before we get into more interesting things. Ever the optimist, Cirie sees this as another chance to connect with Ozzy, and get the target off of her back. Have to admit, while the Caleb/Tai dynamic is clearly the most interesting out of any tribe, this one is a close second. But I really don’t see how this could possibly work out in Cirie’s favor. With a 5-1 majority against Troyzan, she’s disposable, and like with Sandra, on a tribe this small, challenge weakness is emphasized.
Perhaps it could work because Ozzy IS AN IDIOT! Seriously, you have even MORE of a reason to get rid of Cirie, because of the whole “challenge strength” thing, but NOW you say that you need here around. Again, 5-1 majority against Troyzan. You can lose Cirie and STILL be ok!
Ugh, now we get more requisite clips. Troyzan is on the outs, so he gets the “On the outs” confessionals. Andrea tries to throw him off the scent with a good bit of acting, but Troyzan, thankfully, can see the blatantly obvious. Not being as socially sound as J.T., Troyzan resorts to more blatant idol hunting. His fruits are rewarded, as he eventually spots a half-buried bottle with an idol clue in it. Credit for creativity, production. A note in a bottle fits with the theme, and can be found randomly, but is no so obvious that just anyone could pick it up. Troyzan then finds out that the idol is not at camp, but under the puzzle board at the challenge. In a rather funny clip, Troyzan gives a little “Thank You” at the part of the note that says you don’t have to be a puzzle-solver to get the idol. At least the man is self-aware.
Now, let the punishment of Mike Skupin commence! As mentioned in the opener, J.T. and Malcolm go off and catch a goat. before you become too impressed with their hunting skills, though, they figure out that part of this reasoning was that this mama goat had a kid, and didn’t want to get to far away from it. This, however, creates a moral dilemma, as now we’ve got a “cute factor” hurting dinner. Sandra, stone-cold killer that she is, is all for heartlessly killing those animals, and when you think about it, she’s got a point. Apart from having to do the work yourself, this is really no different than eating grocery store meat, and why not get some easy pickings? Because it’s CUTE! The rest of the tribe follows the psychological principle of “Don’t kill cute things!”, and agrees 5-1 to let the goat go. A kind of pointless scene, save perhaps to make Mike Skupin suffer, but a nice one at that. Where do I stand? I’m a bit more pragmatic that most of the people but Sandra, but even I have to admit, it would have been tough to kill a mama goat with a live kid. Plus, Michaela did have a good point in saying they don’t really need the goat. After all, they’ve got plenty of chickens. And now Tai dies a little inside.
We head off to our immunity challenge, which seems like kind of an odd choice. Not because it’s not exciting, mind you. It’s a standard obstacle course, involving a tied-together team of three going through walls and over hitches to unlock a gate to allow three other tribe members to untie knots/solve a puzzle. Pretty standard stuff, but decently fun to watch, as obstacle courses go. I do like that it’s not all strength in the initial phase, as an intermediate step is taking buckets of water over a balance beam and teeter-totter to fill another bucket to open the gate. But if that teeter-totter part sounds familiar, that’s because this challenge was used on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. Specifically, it was the challenge that broke Missy Payne’s ankle. Yes, bring back a challenge that caused injuries in your past use of it, show, that seems like a GREAT IDEA! Hey, while we’re at it, why don’t we try “Schmergenbrawl” again? You know, that challenge from “Survivor Samoa” that injured two contestants, and forced one to be evacuated. Seems like a great idea to me!
But wait! We have three tribes, and only one idol! Does this mean we’re going to do the actual exciting twist of having only ONE tribe win, and the others go to Tribal Council? Or will we be getting Cuttler Junior to pair with Captain Cuttler? I don’t see that immunity idol dividing in two very easily. Well, actually it kind of does. Winning tribe gets the idol, second place gets the idol stand. Ok, that’s pretty funny, right up there with the “immunity butt” the third place tribe could win on “Survivor Cook Islands”. Also, winning tribe gets a tarp, and their pick of pillows, blankets, and chairs, or spices, with second place getting whatever is not picked. Not a bad way to do things, all things considered, especially as I like choices like these. I just wish the choices were more even. Spices don’t compare to pillows and blankets.
Once again, the “Survivor” team has done a great job of keeping us in the dark about which team will lose today, since we got at least some strategizing from all three. I’d say that Mana is the least likely to lose overall, since I feel like we got the least strategizing from them. Though, if they keep making stupid decisions on who to put where. Both of the other tribes are logical in their picks. For Nuku, Michaela, Malcolm, and J.T. do the physical part of the challenge, with Aubry on knots and Sandra and Jeff on the puzzle. Tavua fields Ozzy, Andrea, and Sarah on the physical part, with Troyzan on knots, and Cirie and Zeke on the puzzle. All logical choices. But for the physical part, Mana runs the “Kaoh Rong 3”, which makes little sense. Caleb is a logical choice, but Debbie is clearly puzzle-oriented, and Tai, while not the weakest overall, isn’t exactly known for his challenge performance. I suspect they were going for a “small people fit through the obstacles better.” angle, but you still need strength to get through the first part of the challenge. Plus, I would point out that this puts Brad “Basic Math is Beyond My Comprehension” Culpepper on the puzzle. And you REALLY think this is the smart move? For my money, I’d have swapped out Tai for Brad, and Hali for Debbie. As I say, you want Debbie on the puzzle, and Hali is no physical slouch. Plus, she’s small. Brad, while not the smallest, is strong enough to help make up for that difficulty, and putting him here keeps him as far away from the puzzle as possible.
Nuku runs away with it, and for a moment it looks like my prediction will come true. Tavua finishes their puzzle first, but a flash on a panel shows that it’s wrong, opening the door for Mana. But remember, Brad Culpepper is on the puzzle. It all makes no difference, and Mana ends up on the losing end at things.
Troyzan should also be commended for giving a good performance here. He makes a non-exaggerated show of collapsing against the puzzle table in relief, working his way around to the back where he grabs the idol. Nice moves, man.
Back at the camp, Tai doubles down on the whole “Not Subtle” thing, by flat out stating to his alliance that keeping Caleb is the better move. Sure enough, though, his alliance has cottoned on to the fact that Tai really likes Caleb, and now wants Caleb out first. Normally, this would be a cut-and-dried matter. After all, since Hali and Caleb likely vote for each other in this scenario, all you needs is your three votes to send Caleb packing. Brad, however, wants to be the next Aubry Bracco, and convince Tai to move against his own self-interest.
For all that I protest about Tai’s love for Caleb being about as subtle as a clown with bike horns for shoes, it IS in Tai’s best interest to keep Caleb around. Brad’s argument, which is actually quite valid, is that Tai remains a target as long as Caleb is around, because of their obvious connection. The problem, though, is from “Survivor Kaoh Rong” in general, that stigma will remain. Getting one of the “Kaoh Rong 4” out diminishes that threat somewhat, but doesn’t take it away. What it DOES do is burn a loyal ally for Tai, as well as a meat shield for him. Plus, it weakens the tribe, making it likely they will return to Tribal Council, where Tai, as another “Survivor Kaoh Rong” player, may be a target. For all that the obvious connection is a detriment, it’s ultimately in Tai’s best interest to exploit it, rather than sever it.
After getting the former Nuku members to light their torches, we get a decently exciting Tribal Council. Most of it comes from the fact that there IS genuine mystery as to who will be leaving the game, but we get some good debates as well. Hali and Caleb go all out on each other. Caleb attacks Hali as a floater who will go deep if they’re not careful, whereas he’s a strong member of the tribe who can help them win challenges. Hali throws his argument right back at him, though, by pointing out that those things that make him an asset in this phase make him a threat in the next.
As we vote, we get some agonizing from Tai that I SWEAR is staged, and Caleb is ultimately sent packing. I’m satisfied with this exit. Apart from perhaps Hali and Sierra, Caleb was the player this season who felt the most like they didn’t belong under the banner of “Game Changer”. We got what Caleb deserved: the right to be voted out properly, rather than evacuated. Now, let us never see him again.
Some would probably say this is a victory for Tai, since he voted with his head rather than his heart. I say this just shows that his head is just as easily mislead than his heart. Once again, we have Tai being led astray by a more strategic player, and, as I outlined, voted against his own self-interest. I suspect this will come back to bite Tai in the butt very soon.
This episode is sort of averagely exciting for me. We got a lot of good intrigue, but most of it is the stuff you’d normally expect after a chaotic switch. We’ve seen it before, but there’s a reason we come back again and again: it’s still fun to watch. Really, the only stand out moment was the whole “Goat Vote” thing. Still, that’s good enough for me. Time for another…
TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!
I WAS going to use this to highlight actual “game changing” moves in the history of “Survivor”, with J.T’s social manipulation at the raft being the highlight. However, seeing the scene proper, it seems less premeditated and more opportunistic, making this not feel like the right time for the list. However, it IS a good time to highlight an aspect of the show not often emphasized: actual survival. Yes, for a show called “Survivor”, there’s very little these days that deals with actually wilderness SURVIVAL. Granted, social survival is why we come back, but there’s still something compelling about those moments that actually look at the day to day triumphs and failures of living on an island. And we’re going to highlight the best and the worst of those today. Let us begin, as we always do, with…
TOP 5
5. Finding the Spearhead (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): Even if you’re one of those Rupert haters out there, you have to acknowledge that the guy finding a spearhead just randomly out in the ocean is pretty impressive, particularly after everyone else had given it up for lost. I may be cheating a bit here, since the spear itself isn’t something you’d normally find on the island, but given the theme of persevering through obstacles being a part of island living, I say it counts.
4. Goat Hunting (“Survivor Game Changers”): For me, this really marked a blend of old and new gameplay. You’ll find that most of the entries on this list come from single-digit seasons, mainly because that’s when more emphasis was placed on physical survival than it is on the show now. Credit where credit is due, though, this was a nice throwback. While the hunt itself was not all that exciting, the social politicking afterwards was, and made for a good mix of old and new, while having enough of a “survival” feel to make the list.
3. Tom’s Shark (“Survivor Palau”): Pure, simple fun. Hunting on “Survivor” is one of the quickest and most basic survival clips you can show, and Tom’s was definitely fun. There’s just something primally amusing about his dopey “I hit it with the machete and cut it in half!” line that makes this one more memorable than this episode’s goat hunt. It loses points, though, because we only see the aftermath, and not the actual hunt itself.
2. Skupin’s Pig (“Survivor the Australian Outback”): For all that I kid the guy, Skupin WAS good in the outdoors. When he wasn’t getting himself injured, at least. While not as primal or brutal as Tom’s shark takedown, we got to see more of the planning, more of the buildup for this one than we did with Tom. With the shark, we’re TOLD what Tom did. With the pig, which the actual kill is mercifully offscreen, we for the most part are SHOWN how it came aobut, and that gives this moment an edge.
1. 2-Stick Fire (“Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”): On “Survivor” the only thing more basic than hunting is fire. It only makes sense, then, that fire take the number-one spot. Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”) starting fire with two sticks is impressive, not because we’d never seen pre-flint fire before, but because of the method that was used. Starting a fire by rubbing two sticks together is one of those “common knowledge” survival techniques, but on the show, it so rarely works. Most pre-flint fires were using one’s glasses to magnify the sun, or a similar method. This, however, is more primal, and therefore the clear winner.
Honorable Mention: The Special Shelter (“Survivor Fiji”): Living in this shelter, Boo quipped that they were not playing “survival” but “thrival”. I have to agree. Save for maybe Koror’s kick-ass shelter on “Survivor Palau” (which was ineligible for this list due to not being made by the contestants), this is the most awesome shelter ever on the show. Now, production DID still help by giving supplies, which is why we only get an honorable mention, but as it was technically made by castaway hands, it still counts.
BOTTOM 5
5. Millennial Laziness (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X”): I didn’t highlight this in my premier recap of last season, but the fact that the millennial tribe did not get their shelter built immediately was playing into the stereotypes about their generation, as well as made them look doubly pathetic when the cyclone came a-knocking. I put them near the bottom because, when they did get up and do some work, their shelter was decent, but a slow start is still, technically, a survival fail.
4. Viveros’ Shelter (“Survivor Exile Island”): A lot of people don’t remember this one, since “Survivor Exile Island” kept things at four tribes for only one episode, but the young guy’s tribe was, shall we say, kind of bad at the whole “survival” thing. Their “shelter” if you can call it that, was a loose teepee of bamboo not really shored up in any way, with about a two-foot wide roof of unwoven palm fronds. When bad weather did inevitably come, they got their comeuppance. I personally rank this as the worst shelter in the show’s history, but because it wasn’t around very long, I can’t justify putting it higher on the list.
3. Rupert’s Hole (“Survivor All-Stars”): This really should be a tie with the Viveros shelter, since in my mind they’re both equally bad, but if I’m forced to rank them, ultimately Rupert’s did more damage. Yes, Rupert, dig a hole in the beach during the rainy season. I see NOTHING wrong with this whatsoever!
2. Dumping the Water (“Survivor Africa”): This one still baffles me. I get that water is heavy to carry, but it was EMPHASIZED at the beginning of this season that water would be scarce. And yet, Boran felt that dumping out a large amount of their water was a smart idea. No wonder they lost their first two challenges. The only reason this isn’t number one is because, while it did hurt the tribe initially, ultimately this didn’t impact the tribe that much.
1. Riverbed Shelter (“Survivor the Australian Outback”): Similar justification to Rupert’s hole, but gets the number one spot for having more lasting consequences. True, they didn’t lose their rice, but they still lost most of their supplies, and justifiably so. Build you shelter in the riverbed, guys, I don’t see THAT coming back to haunt you later on.
Honorable Mention: The Morgan Tribe (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): It’s a bit mean, and DEFINITELY an oversimplification, to call one whole tribe a “survival fail”, but Morgan definitely earned that title. Apart from having a terrible shelter and sucking at fishing, the fact that they couldn’t find their water source, when it was MARKED ON THE FREAKING MAP, was what pushed me over the edge. Like with Boran, Morgan did get better, which is why I left them off of the list proper, but they’re still, by and large, a fail.
Well, pretty good episode, excellent blog (save some shameful self-promotion)! Next week, the producers use my idea from earlier in the blog. I like this next episode already.
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 