Almost managed to see the episode! My plane got in on time, so it would have been tight, but I could have made it. Unfortunately for me, the trains back to Wollongong were on a reduced schedule due to ANZAC Day, so I was delayed enough that m only choice is to proceed as planned. It seems, though, that I got my wish, in that not much of significance happened in the episode. We had repeat challenges, exactly the outcome I thought, and not much headway in terms of gameplay. The only two notable things I saw were Cochran winning immunity again (Kudos), and Malcolm getting voted out, and yeah, I’m kind of sorry to see him go, but kind of not at the same time. While he was still a joy to watch, just like last season, he did feel somewhat diminished. He comments weren’t as witty (though I admit, it’s hard to top “Abi-Maria has all the social grace of a Mack Truck.”), and his strategy, while present, took a while to germinate, and even then, it was always the same thing: Malcolm struggling and failing to regain control of his fate. Now to be fair, that is different from what we saw last time, as once Matsing had been dissolved, he was on top pretty much the whole way, so we did get to see how Malcolm fared under pressure. But I don’t know, maybe he was just tired, but it felt like Malcolm was somewhat less this season. I’d be happy to see him back, and it certainly is a loss to have him gone, but I’m happy that Cochran’s in control, and the game continues.
Now, as to the surprise I teased you about: Well, it occurred to me a while back that, while I’ve given indications about which seasons I like and don’t like between my regular blogs and “Survivor Retrospectives”, I’ve never actually outright stated what my favorite and least favorite seasons are, and in what order. Given that it does, to a degree, influence how I feel about current seasons, I feel it’s high time that I came right out and ranked the seasons in order of my personal opinion, and gave an explanation as to why. I’ll only be ranking through “Survivor Philippines”, as the outcome of a season does influence my perception of it, so it would be unfair to rank “Survivor Caramoan” in with other seasons. I’ll also say that those who read “Survivor Retrospectives” may note some discrepancies between my ranking there and my ranking here. Part of that is due to “Survivor Retrospectives” giving a (somewhat) objective look at the seasons as individuals, while this is a more subjective look at all seasons in comparison with each other. Another part of it, though, is that my opinion does somewhat fluctuate on a daily basis. The categories very rarely change; those seasons I think are great remain great in my mind, those seasons I think are awful remain awful in my mind, and those seasons I think are average remain average in my mind. However, there is some play within those categories, and that’s why the rankings may seem wonky at times.
Well, with all that settled, let’s not waste any more time, and head off on a nostalgia trip! It won’t be all pleasant, but hopefully it’ll give you all some insight into my thinking.
25. “Survivor Fiji”: Right off the bat, we get one that might seem a surprise. Not that Fiji would be ranked low, to be sure, most people agree it’s one of the worst seasons, but that it would be THE lowest for me. While I’ve made mention a few times that I don’t like “Survivor Fiji”, I also don’t bash on it very often, reserving my outright hatred for seasons like “Survivor Redemption Island” and “Survivor Samoa”, and don’t worry, they’ll be very low on this list, but then why, if I hate them so, would I consider Fiji the worst? The answer is that, while seasons like “Survivor Redemption Island” and “Survivor Samoa” do arouse my hatred, they at least arouse an emotion. Fiji is the one season of “Survivor” that I would ever describe as “forgettable”. The location is boring, the cast was boring, the challenges were boring, the twists were boring, when they weren’t painful. Some would argue that Yau-Man Chan makes up for these faults, but I don’t know, I could kind of tell from the get-go that the editors were building him up as something of an unexpected Superman of “Survivor”, and it just made him less exciting for me. Earl was a very generic winner, and the few things that I do remember about the season (Dreamz’ refusing to give up immunity, Probst’s cheap Tribal Council questioning at the immediate Tribal Council after the merge, the dumb “Haves vs. Have-nots” twist) are painful, so yeah, not a fan of this season. I think the thing that speaks the most against it, though, is that with most seasons, I can remember probably 80-90% of the people who were on it, both their first and last names. With Fiji, I couldn’t even tell you most of their FIRST names, and that speaks to just how pathetic of a season it is.
24. “Survivor Redemption Island”: Yeah, you all saw this one coming. This might as well have been called “Survivor Boston Rob” for just how one-sided the game was. Anyone on the Ometepe Tribe who wasn’t a sheep was quickly eliminated, and while the Zapatera Tribe COULD have been interesting, their complete apathy post-merge was nothing short of painful. On top of that, as I mentioned before, the “Redemption Island” twist was a stupid idea that did not need to happen in any context. The location wasn’t quite as generic, and I’ll admit that it was somewhat memorable the way that Boston Rob completely dominated the game, but even that memory mostly brings up the wasted potential of the cast. ON top of that, this is the season that gave us the unpleasantness that is Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard, and there’s no way I could ever like the season that produced him.
23. “Survivor One World”: This has man of the same flaws as “Survivor Redemption Island”: One person who completely dominated the gameplay from the beginning, an apathetic post-merge situation, and a very unpleasant character, in this case Colton Cumbie. What puts it above Redemption Island are two things: One, there was not “Redemption Island” twist, and two, the person who dominated was at least a NEW face on the scene, rather than one we’d seen THREE TIMES BEFORE, AND DID NOT NEED TO SEE AGAIN! These seem like big things, but Colton’s mean-spirited actions this season really drag it down, so this is the highest I can, in good conscience, give it.
22. “Survivor Nicaragua”: Another of my favorite “Survivor” punching bags, and one that a lot of people have lately said is the worst season, and thus might expect it to be ranked lower than it is. Now to be fair, there is lot to hate about this season, and it’s still one of my least-favorites, but thinking back on it, I think people perhaps over-accentuate the negative on this one. There are actually a few things to like hidden amongst the pain. The location was a new one for the show, the overall aesthetic unique, the twist (while still painful) an obvious one that had to be, and the thing that people seem to most forget, this season had Brenda Lowe and Marty Piombo, two very intelligent, engaging strategists, who had an exceptional power struggle post-tribe swap. The main thing people hate this season for are Na’Onka Mixon and Purple Kelly (another one whose last name I don’t know), the former of whom was mean-spirited, the latter of whom was a non-entity, and both of whom gave in to the urge to quit very late in the game, making them absolutely reviled by the fan community. While I hardly deny that these are painful things that drag the season down, people tend to forget that they only came in the last third of the game. The first two thirds, while hardly perfect, were filled with a few good, memorable moments, and as I’ve said, gave us some good strategy talk. Purple Kelly was a casting goof, I’ll admit, but they’ve made as big gaffes in seasons previous, and Na’Onka… I won’t deny that she was unpleasant, but frankly, I found her alright. She wasn’t a GOOD character, but I found her ignorable, and if nothing else, it was fun to watch each week, and ask how on Earth she was still around. Still, this season had a lot of forgettable people, a lot of “undeserving” people making it far, and more than its fair share of painful memories, but I still say people give it a harder time than it deserves.
21. “Survivor Samoa”: Oddly, this is one that I see a lot of people praising because it did so much new for “Survivor” and had a good underdog story. Now, I would buy all that IF THAT UNDERDOG STORY WAS ABOUT A CHARACTER WHO WAS ACTUALLY LIKEABLE! Russell Hantz, while mildly intriguing in some aspects, is an egotistical, overhyped, hypocritical bigot who makes me cringe every time he appears on screen. Watching HIM of all people rise to power was NOT a fun journey in any way, shape, or form. For that matter, people also give him credit as being a good strategist, and while I admit that he’s good at sensing bullshit and knowing when and how to play idols by and large, that’s it. He really cannot grasp the more social aspects of the game, and that’s where he falls flat for me. Still, I might have been able to get by this, but much like the seasons beneath this, the other characters were sheep set up so the one big character could have an easy march to the finals. With the possible exceptions of Russell Swan and Shannon “Shambo” Waters, there’s really no one who is remembered in the slightest, and it just all felt like a casting error. “It only takes one person.” I hear people say. I’m here to tell you that’s not true, a season is made up of a whole group of people, so it takes a good whole group to make a good season, which “Survivor Samoa” is not.
20. “Survivor Thailand”: Here we have another season often called one of the worst, and my opinion of it is similar to my opinion of Nicaragua. Once again, we have a season with a very distinctive theme, some nice bits of strategy, something of an underdog story (which was, in a sense, present in parts of Nicaragua, but was not a major component, so I ignored it), a lot of good twists, but that falls apart at the end. Unlike Nicaragua, this one didn’t really have any characters who were non-entities, but it did have a lot more unpleasant characters. A particular problem is that a lot of the Chuay-Gahn Tribe, who made it to the end, were just not fun to watch, given how coldhearted they were, and I’ll admit that, plus the predictable post-fake-merge boot order drag it down, but it still had a good story it was telling, good twists, and a great location, so I think this season, while not the best, deserves a better reputation then it has.
19. “Survivor South Pacific”: It is here that we leave the realm of “Unpleasant Seasons”, and enter into the much larger realm of “Average Seasons”. I make note of this because I wanted to put South Pacific higher on the list, I really did. It has a number of things going for it, specifically in Dawn Meehan and John Cochran. However, the “Average Seasons” are the largest category on this list, and while I like them all, some do have to be acknowledged for what they’ve done, and so I can’t justify putting them below South Pacific. It’s not that South Pacific was a bad season; as I’ve said, I love Dawn and Cochran, but unfortunately, they are not the first things I think of when I think of this season. What I do think of are Benjamin “Coach” Wade and Brandon Hantz, neither of which are things I want to focus on. Also, this season shares a lot of problems with Redemption Island, specifically the “Redemption Island” twist, the predictable boot order, and the largely apathetic cast. Admittedly the Savaii Tribe did try a little harder, but you still had a returnee controlling the game the entire way, and it just drags the season down to the point where I can’t justify it being higher up.
18. “Survivor Exile Island”: When I think of “Survivor Exile Island”, I just sort of think “meh”. It wasn’t a BAD season, there was nothing to particularly hate about it, but there was little to really get excited about it either. The theme wasn’t the most generic, but didn’t stand out, either, the cast wasn’t painful, but didn’t have a lot of standouts, and the challenges were clever, but nothing to write home about. This season did give us Cirie Fields, who while a good strategist, I found just a tad to snarky, sarcastic, and overrated, but also gave us Terry Deitz, whom I loved for his underdog story and his physical prowess, so the two sort of even out. The one thing that is REALLY good about this season, though, is the twist. Exile Island, while not an obvious idea, was a great one, changing up the game while still staying true to the core values, and adding a new layer of social isolation, as well as giving us the now titular hidden immunity idol. That part is a lot of fun to watch, and you’ll notice the twist stuck around for a long time, and with good reason in my opinion.
17. “Survivor China”: I’ll come right out and say that I LOVE the challenges and location this season. This is probably one of the most unique seasons eve in that regard, and that’s pretty much half the reason this season is above the others. The other half is that this was a very strategic season, both socially and politically. There were a lot of gamers who’d come out to win it, and a lot of unlikely saves and a lot of unlikely votes. Of course, the cast also had its share of knuckleheads, notably the lovable James Clement. That said, I’m not a huge fan of this cast. Kind of similar to Exile Island, though, in that very few of them stand out, save possibly James. Again, they’re not bad, and I do love the strategy, but they’re just not that unique. In particular, I find the final 4 contestants to be either forgettable or unpleasant, and while I won’t deny that Todd’s a good strategist, I don’t think he was the greatest winner ever. Still, not a bad season, by any stretch.
16. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Once again we have a unique location, but is hampered by a lack of much else. Oh, don’t get me wrong, this cast had more than its share of standouts and twists brought by the environment, and was by no means forgettable. However, I find that the cast is not as strong for those of us who don’t have a certain nostalgia for “Classic ‘Survivor’”, and a lot of the people, while interesting, just don’t stand out as much in the long run. Also, while there was strategy this season, it felt more subdued somehow, like the people were more self-conscious of their decisions, trying to be nicer to each other, and that just didn’t sit right with me. All in all, though, this was still an alright season, and I’ll gladly watch it again.
15. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: Had I done this list as soon as I’d thought to do it, which was about halfway through One World, this season would have been a lot higher, just by comparison. You’ll notice that of the last 5 complete seasons, 4 appeared in the bottom 6 section of the list, so you can reasonably figure that this period was not a good one for “Survivor”. As such, Heroes vs. Villains had a lot of nostalgia attached to it as the last “Truly Great” season of “Survivor”. However, “Survivor Philippines” came along, and reminded us that there could be really good seasons still, and that made me at least take a closer look at Heroes vs. Villains, and realize that despite my nostalgia, there are a few flaws with the season, most notably the ending. My God, the post-merge section of this season is really painful, and exceedingly hard for me to get through. For all that this season did a good job of keeping you on your toes with good strategy and improbable events, the picking off of the former Heroes was just a real letdown, particularly since it was our old friend Russell Hantz who got to survive because of it. That’s not something I wanted to see. Also, thinking more on it, in a sense this was just a cheap rehash of “Survivor All-Stars”. Admittedly, it did try its hardest to separate itself from All-Stars, but it didn’t do a very good job, in my opinion. One must not neglect the positives, though. As I said, this was a very unpredictable season, which I always like. Moreover, it chose good challenges to revamp, and did an excellent job portraying the grayed line of “Hero” and “Villain”, showing quite well how both sides had to use both types of behaviors to get through the game. So yeah, still a good season, just not as good as I say we give it credit for.
14. “Survivor All-Stars”: From a fanboy’s perspective, this is the season that I wanted to see above all others when I heard about it, and in many respects, it didn’t disappoint. It was an effective homage to “Survivor” history up to that point, featured a lot of good characters and strategists, and seemed bigger and badder than previous seasons. However, that joy is marred by a certain amount of uncomfortableness. The way all the contestants took everything so personally came off as unpleasant, and there were a lot of just plain awkward moments, like the death of Jenna Morasca’s mother, and Sue Hawk’s rant before leaving. Furthermore, while this season had a lot of strategists, post-merge boots were fairly predictable, pre-merge boots were little better, and once again, we have a season largely dominated strategically by Boston Rob. Maybe it’s the fanboy in me, though, but I still overlook it just for the pure, nerdy, “Survivor” joy.
13. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Probably the season featuring the most legally controversial twist, I actually think this one’s pretty ok. This was another season with a lot of strategists, and while a decent chunk of time went to eventual winner Yul Kwan, a lot of other strategists like Jonathan Penner and Parvati Shallow got their moment in the sun as well. Furthermore, post-merge, there was a LOT of unpredictability as to who would leave. Ultimately there was something of a Pagonging of the original Rarotonga Tribe, but they did shake it up a bit, and unlike the Pagonging shakeups of the Australian Outback, these felt more thought out and genuine. This season loses some points for having a somewhat lackluster pre-merge, but even that was spiced up with a few good characters like Cao Boi Bui and Ozzy Lusth. Also, for once they did “Generic South Pacific Island” right, by giving it a more distinctive nautical theme that just makes for a very enjoyable season.
12. “Survivor Marquesas”: Readers of “Survivor Retrospectives” might find this one a surprise, as of all the seasons I’ve graded to date, this one is the lowest overall. But I have to say, looking back on it, I really do love how much of an underdog season this was. You had so many great strategist going in, yet it was the people who learned from the game the most, the ones who adapted, who took it home, and that sort of story really appeals to me. Furthermore, some of the elements I disliked, such as Boston Rob, were gone relatively early, so I can tolerate them somewhat more. While the season does suffer from the “Generic South Pacific Island” problem, it still holds up for me because of its social game.
11. “Survivor Philippines”: When I set out to actually make this list, this is the ranking that most surprised me. Don’t get me wrong, Philippines is a very solid season, and a welcome relief after One World, but I thought this one would be a lot lower than it was, not because it was particularly bad, but because it didn’t do anything new and different. All the season above this one d something that made them stand out, while Philippines, at first glance, really didn’t. You had some AMAZING strategy, particularly post-merge, and enough crazy people to get you by, but what did this season do that others didn’t? It hit me then that what this season does (aside from being timed right) is stay consistent. While there’s no one element that stands out particularly well, unlike a lot of seasons beneath this, there’s nothing dragging it down either. I know in my blogs I called a few episodes “boring”, but that was relative to each other. Overall, each episode was exciting in its own way, and while nothing about this season stands out, it remains a good example of what “Survivor” is, and how it should be played. And again, it’s coming after several awful seasons probably makes it seem better than it is.
10. “Survivor Vanuatu”: Here we enter the season that I love, the ones I can watch many times over (with one exception) and always find something new to enjoy. A lot of people give Vanuatu a hard time, and it’s easy to understand why. General problems of “Generic South Pacific Island” aside, this season didn’t have a lot of stand-out characters, kind of like Philippines in that way. It had a couple, I suppose, with people like Rory Freeman and Lea “Sarge” Masters, but both were out quickly after the merge, and were more characters than strategists. I’ve said before, though, that it’s the strategists that make up this season’s bulk, and that’s what I love it for. Like Philippines, this season was made up of strategists, and had a large amount of unpredictability. What this season has over Philippines, though, is that you had even more of an underdog story for a winner. While I admit that Denise overcame great odds, literally surviving every single Tribal Council, I notice that very rarely was she actually a TARGET at said Tribal Councils. Chris Daugherty, the eventual winner of Vanuatu, didn’t go to as many Tribal Councils, but had a target on his back for almost every one of them. It’s fascinating to watch him work, and spar with the women of Yasur, most of whom were quite capable strategists themselves. Truly an unpredictable finish for what amounts to quite an enjoyable season.
9. “Survivor Tocantins”: This was another surprise in my ranking, and its height comes from precisely two factors: Stephen Fishbach and J.T. These two were phenomenal, working together to subtly manipulate the game and come out on top. Also, the relationship seemed very genuine, and was a nice breath of fresh air in a cutthroat game. It also helped that they had a good underdog story going for them, as it kind of offset the sometimes predictable boot order. Even so, this season slipped in a few surprises. It pulled no punches with the twists, but sometimes it’s good to take a break and have a twist-free season, at least in terms of producer twists. Now, this season does have Coach on it, and that does hurt the season in my view, but to be fair, his craziness was mesmerizing in a strange sort of way, and while he was annoying, he had at least a few funny moments in there, and as the primary thing I remember about this season is J.T. and Stephen’s relationship, and how great a thing that was, I find myself overlooking some of the flaws to really enjoy this season.
8. “Survivor Borneo”: Get away from those comment boxes, hardcore fans, I see you there. This is my list, and I’ll stand by my assertion that Borneo has not aged as well as some would like to believe. In my opinion, a lot of the reason this season is almost always “#1” on anyone’s list is just the pure nostalgia of realizing what sort of a show this was for the first time. As this wasn’t the first season I saw, I don’t have the same feelings towards the season, and so see it as a good season, but not one of the best. There were almost no twists, and the strategy was fairly one-sided, coming mostly from the Tagi alliance. Still, if you want interpersonal dynamics, there’s no better season for it. As most people coming into the game were naïve about what it would become, they were much freer with their personalities than other seasons. The way they all blended together, their interactions, their debates about morality and other important issues, all of that is great television, just not necessarily what “Survivor” is known for. Still, interesting tv is interesting tv, be it “Survivor”-like or not, and so I have to give the season credit there. Also, for all that I bashed it in my “Survivor Retrospectives”, the cheap-looking aesthetic is kind of cool, adding to what is already a pretty damn good season.
7. “Survivor Gabon”: Reading through this list, you may have noticed certain trends in what I like and don’t like. Hopefully, you at least noticed that I like me an underdog story, and Gabon provides one of the best underdog stories, so much show that they even lampshaded it in that damn clip show they do every season. The people who made it late in the game were some of the most unlikely on paper to ever make it, and I just love the hell out of that. Also, this season had a lot of unpredictability at all phases, but particularly post-merge. Since these unlikely people were rising to the top left, right, and center, you never could be sure exactly who was going home, leading to a lot of fun blindsides. I’ve seen a lot of people argue that a lot of unpleasant people populated this season, making it worse, and while I won’t deny that those people were present, most of them were eliminated fairly quickly, and the few that were left were tolerable. Furthermore, this was a season set in Africa, and while it does lose points for drawing heavily on the previous “Survivor Africa”, it manages to bring itself into its own, making itself its own unique, enjoyable watch.
6. “Survivor Africa”: Speaking of Africa, here’s the original, and another season I think suffers from comparison to its predecessors (bear in mind, I watched the seasons out of order). This season has the balance of the best of “Survivor” in my opinion. The people are still “real” enough to be relatable and have good interpersonal conflict, but are also smart enough to come up with some good strategy, and throw in a few surprising votes. Add into that a great location and you have a great season. Plus, this is the season that introduced producer twists, and in my opinion, it improved the game immensely.
5. “Survivor The Amazon”: If you want to talk unpredictability, you have to talk about the Amazon. Week after week there was a blindside, making one not only intrigued and curious, but also creating a large amount of suspense that’s key for any season. Furthermore, this was the rise of the “likeable strategist”, which allowed for the creation of the scumbags we all know and love today. The location was a touch generic, but man, what a twist with the “boys vs. girls” idea. A bit obvious, perhaps, but it added whole new dynamics, and really gave the season a theme all its own. Throw in some good characters, and you get one of the best seasons of “Survivor” of all time.
4. “Survivor Palau”: This one is maybe the biggest surprise to those who read “Survivor Retrospectives”, as I really laid into it for being hard to rewatch. That, however, did not do the post-merge-game justice, as it’s a lot better than I gave credit for. There was a lot of scheming, and lot of dilemmas (both personal and interpersonal), and some really creative politicking. Now, the pre-merge is still hard to watch in some ways, but as a connoisseur of challenges, I have to say, I can get by just by waiting for the challenges, because this season had probably the most consistently good challenges, that went well with the unique and phenomenal aesthetic. Also, while some boots might have been predictable, this season made up for it by having a lot of firsts, some good, some bad, some contestant-implemented, some producer-implemented, but all lending the season its own unique flavor. I really did give it too hard of a time in my blog on it.
3. “Survivor Guatemala”: Now THIS is my equivalent of Borneo. A lot of people say that this season is bad for having one or two unpleasant people in the cast, and just an overall unmemorable cast, but I disagree. I think there’s a lot of people to like, some really good strategizing (even if it did lead to a fair number of predictable boots), and some really interesting twists, not to mention Guatemala being a PHENOMENAL location to shoot in, as well as a tough one. It’s often said that Guatemala is probably the toughest location the show has ever ha, and I’d buy that. This layer of difficulty is part of what makes me so fond of Guatemala, but mainly, it has to be that this is the season that opened my eyes to “Survivor”, that greatly influenced my life to the point where I’m writing this blog. I cannot be more grateful to it.
2. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: This season just had a good mix of everything I like: Big characters, plenty of blindsides, excellent strategy, good challenges, brilliant aesthetic, and all wrapped up in a package of passion. You can really tell that after Amazon was a hit, the producers stepped up their game, pulling out all the stops to create a unique, enjoyable season. The only two reasons this is not my favorite are that it’s perhaps a little too out of the norm for “Survivor”, and that Jonny Fairplay got so far.
1. “Survivor Micronesia”: In contrast, this season knew how to win my love by getting Fairplay out at the very beginning. At first glance, this might not seem like a good candidate for my favorite season. Sure, the challenges were quite good, and there were a lot of well-executed blindsides, but there were a lot of contestants who were non-entities, particularly on the fan’s side and there was a big problem of “Generic South Pacific Island”. What wins me over is that, if you look closely, you find that everyone, even the supposed non-entities on the Fans, had SOMETHING going for them, with the possible exception of Mary. It might have been a small something, but it was at least something. Moreover, even including Amazon, this was, far and away, the most unpredictable season I’ve ever seen, including the rise of probably the most effective alliance ever seen on the show. All that is just too enjoyable for a fan of strategy like me to resist, and so I have to name this season number 1.
Whew! That took a lot out of me. I hope you enjoyed this look into my likes and dislikes of seasons, and please comment on what seasons YOU enjoy the most, and what aspects you think I’m missing/got wrong on this list.
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 
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