Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Episode 5: Troubled Waters

As a proud “Survivor” nerd, it is inevitable that I will be making comparisons between current and past seasons, as well as current and past players. After 37 seasons, it’s kind of hard not to find some parallel somewhere. A lot of the time this dulls the experience, as what happens on a current season can just be seen as a cheap rehash of a previous season. Sometimes the parallels lead to neat little in-jokes, and can provide some good insight into a player. In either case, though, it can lead to some really weird statements, like the one I’m about to make right now: Natalie Cole is basically Cao Boi Bui (“Survivor Cook Islands”).

Hear me out on this (though be warned that spoilers for the end of the episode are ahead): Both are players that have a wildly different worldview than the rest of their tribe, yet seem completely unaware of it. Both actually have some decent insight into the game and island living, yet are more often than not ignored due to their delivery. And both are (varying degrees of) fun characters that leave during the pre-merge phase. Granted, there are differences between the two. As a fan of Cao Boi, I’d argue that he was less overtly obnoxious, though admittedly Natalie never engaged in race humor. Also, while it’s true neither saw eye-to-eye with their tribe, Cao Boi was less serious than his compatriots, while Natalie was perhaps too serious. Still, while maybe not perfect, it’s still an apt comparison, and just so out of the blue that when I thought of it, I had to share it with you.

Speaking of sharing, let’s find out from a pissed-off Kara what possible justification Alec has for his horrible, horrible, horrible game move last episode. Turns out, he doesn’t have one, shock of all shocks! Alec tells us that his move was just a “gut feeling”, which as we all know has a history of working out BRILLIANTLY on “Survivor”! If the sarcasm went over your head, see van den Berghe, Lex (“Survivor Africa”), or more recently, Bechtold, Kellyn (“Survivor Ghost Island”). Actually, Alec DOES provide more justification than this, stating that he needs to have some former Davids on his side if he’s going to win the game. Not an unfair justification, but a flimsy one. After all, voting once along tribal lines is not going to turn all former Davids off from ever working with you. Plus, while you at best gain potential allies in the former Davids, by voting out Natalia, you lose a FIRM ally you can pretty well count on. Not good math there. Plus, not even Kara’s with him, being understandably mad at being left out of the loop, and as we’ll later see, less inclined to find a crack in the former Davids with him as she is in throwing him under the bus.

On a happier note, the challenge win last episode has done some good for Gabby’s confidence. True, she still feels she’s on the outs, and we’ll later see that others of her tribe agree with this assessment, but she’s stopped being openly upset about it, and is even bonding with the guys this morning, all of them cheerfully commenting on the sunny weather. As is the weather’s wont, however, it soon turns cloudy, which Tiva hopes will go away soon. At this, the irony gods collapse on the floor in laughter, and we cut to the storm…

CRASH!

NATALIE: Hold everything!

ME: Wha… Natalie?! What are you doing here? We had the perfect ironic segway to the storm?

NATALIE: Oh no, we didn’t. Anything Gabby can do, I can do better! She makes the weather a metaphor for her mood? Watch me comment on how nice the weather has been today.

ME: Natalie, no! Irony like that, it’s more than the television can take! You’re straining the fourth wall as it is! Give that confessional, and you could destroy us all!

NATALIE: Man, the weather has been so nice today. Just a picture-perfect day in Fiji.

And thus was the city of Columbus destroyed by an incredibly weird and rare midwestern cyclone. Fortunately, I had readied the “Idol Speculation” bunker for just such an emergency, and thus can continue blogging. The storm hits, and we get various scenes of tribe flags blowing over, and people exclaiming about how harsh it is. Eventually Carl returns with tree mail, telling the tribe they’re teleporting back to “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, and evacuating everyone. Far be it from me to question the wisdom of the “Survivor” safety crew, who are nothing if not consummate professionals. Though if I were to, I would note that, at least when tree mail arrived, this storm seemed far less severe than the one they stuck around for during the premiere. True, the storm DOES get worse (again, with the cast being evacuated, but the crew staying behind to get zoom shots of the destruction), but we don’t see that initially.

What I WILL take umbrage with is Christian referring to himself and his fellow competitors as “David”, and the storm as “Goliath”. Christian, Probst is forcing this theme on us enough. Don’t encourage him.

Shots of the destruction tell us that the former Davids were much better shelter builders than either the former Goliaths or Tiva, as while the latter two shelters are reduced to little more than convenient bamboo piles, the former actually keeps some structure intact.. Thus begins the rebuilding, not just of shelters but of alliances. Following up on her “Throw Alec under the bus” plan from earlier, kara starts talking to everyone about how she now doesn’t trust Alec, and that he was just using them for a vote, whereas she, Kara, now has nowhere to turn but them. A solid pitch, given what she has to work with and Carl at least seems to buy it. Elizabeth is also on board with her buddy, at least on the surface. Privately, though, she admits that Alec is a much better ally than Kara, pointing out that while she and Kara have a personal bond, Alec has actually demonstrated his loyalty in the vote, and I can’t disagree with her logic. Even leaving that aside, Alec is still the better ally. Besides obviously not being the most strategically brilliant person in the world, one mustn’t forget that his name is now proverbially mud with the former Goliaths, whereas Kara can plead ignorance. Thus, Alec needs you more, and will be more loyal.

We get our requisite shocked looks at the exit of Natalia before getting onto our challenge. Two tribe members will use poles to push sandbags off an overhead net. Said sandbags will then be used as slingshot ammo, with the first two tribes to hit their targets winning reward, in this case, our season-requisite chickens for first place, and a dozen eggs for second place. Despite the good reward, I’m not a fan of this challenge. Apart from being a reused combination of previous challenges, it just feels like too small a portion of the tribe. I know, the tribes are pretty small to begin with, but here you’re using two, maybe three people to run a challenge, and that just feels wrong.

Jabeni is the favorite to lose this challenge, mostly because they’re the favorite to lose every challenge, but the slingshot is a great equalizer. Plus, Tiva has to contend with Dan’s ego, which will not allow him to quit the slingshot despite multiple failed attempts. Thus, Vuku nabs the chickens, and Jabeni gets the eggs. Tiva merely leaves dejected, with Gabby sourly noting that had this overconfidence come at the immunity challenge, it could have cost her the game.

Checking in with Jabeni, we find that Natalie is once again doing everything she can to ruin her game. In this case, she’s strong-arming people into cooking the eggs immediately before they go bad. This would be difficult enough if people were merely objecting to eating all their food immediately. Lyrsa, however, graduated magna cum laude from culinary school, and insists that cooking them will actually lower the amount of time they stay good. Perhaps this is just my lack of culinary knowledge showing, but I was under the impression that eggs went bad without refrigeration, cooked or not. Thus, against the advice of the culinary expert, I find myself in agreement with Natalie. Eat them now, when you KNOW they’re good, versus later, when they might make you sick.

Sickness or no, Natalie REALLY needed to learn the lesson of “Cave to the majority, even if they’re wrong.”, since despite strong opposition from her tribe, she goes ahead and starts the pot a-boiling anyway. This gets Lysra kvetching about Natalie, winning her a potentially ally in Mike, who states that he wants to play this game without Natalie. You and everyone who seems to come in contact with her, brother.

Returning to the Tiva tribe, we find that “Survivor Caramoan” has returned, and evidently taken on a Spanish flair, as the former “bro-down” is now referred to as the “brochachos”. This, of course, refers to the male members of the tribe, those being Jonny Mundo, Christian, and Dan. This, if nothing else, should separate Christian from Cochran, as even Cochran, dominant as he was, could not be accepted as a bro like Christian here. This is where Dan reaffirms that Gabby is on the outs, but that’s not all he does. To ensure things stay that way, Dan looks for an idol, noting that third tribes tend to get one of their own. While Dan may be an idiot in many other aspects of the game, it should be said that he at least has awareness when it comes to finding idols, even if the act of hiding said idols still eludes him. Christian watches Dan at his work, though for once I won’t hold it against Dan for not doing a basic 360. Christian was spying from pretty far away, and the only way we saw him was via zoom lens, which I doubt Dan has. After a good bit of searching, Dan finds a clue to an idol, as well as an emotional moment, where he talks about how his overweight self wouldn’t have been able to do this. As an overweight person myself, I’m torn between compassion for the scene, and offense at the implication that overweight people cannot do something as simple as find an idol.

Ah, but Dan has not found an idol yet. Instead, he has found out that the idol is beneath a tripod at the upcoming immunity challenge, which we shall talk about now. While effectively being another generic obstacle course, with people going over bamboo structures, holding up bridges, and naviagating a ball up a vertical snake table, this at least has the scale that I would expect from a good “Survivor” challenge, and they shake things up enough to give it a pass in my book. It’s mainly the ending table that makes it for me. We’ve had vertical table mazes before, but they’re usually of the “swiss cheese” variety. In this case, the ball must instead be kept on the only solid part of the table, in the shape of a twisting snake. To show just how out of touch with reality he is, Probst says this part looks “easy”. To me, it looks diabolical, and I love it.

Jabeni is favored to lose this challenge, mostly because they’re favored to lose about every challenge, but despite a surprisingly even strategy edit from all tribes, I’d say Jabeni is actually the least likely to lose. We’ve had the least strategy from them, with our only real scene being Natalie annoying people some more, whereas we’ve seen the “brochacos”, and Gabby on the outs at Tiva, and full on scheming at Vuku. Add in the table maze as an equalizer, and I’d say you’ve got a pretty even challenge. Sadly, Jabeni does not break stereotypes this time, and loses outright, due mostly to an impressive showing of Nick over Christian (Alec’s slow and steady paces clinches a win for Vuku).

To no one’s surprise, the former Goliaths of Jabeni have a “debate” over who should go from the former Davids, which really amounts to “Let’s justify why Lyrsa should go”, even though it’s fairly obvious. Look, I like Lyrsa a lot, but she’s the obvious choice. A “Vote out the Davids” strategy is all well and good, but there’s only two on your tribe. Lose two challenges after this, and that strategy is shot. While I think people give Lyrsa a hard time for her challenge ability, Nick is clearly the powerhouse of the tribe, and by keeping him around you at least have a SHOT at winning something down the line, maybe even sending Tiva to Tribal Council, the one place where the former Goliaths may have an actual solid majority at this point.

Rather than get this justification, however, Angelina has to give us a somewhat pettier one. Angelina, apparently, “runs cold”, and thus is in need of a jacket. Coincidentally, Lyrsa has a good jacket, thus making her a target, the implication being that Angelina can filch said jacket once Lyrsa leaves. Petty, but I’ve heard worse reasons to target someone on “Survivor”.

Still, even this is not enough for Natalie to leave well enough alone. Despite Lyrsa being the obvious target, she tries to imply to Nick that unless he gives up his jacket, he’ll be going home. Hmm, blackmail on “Survivor”. That may actually be a first, and if not, it’s certainly a rarity. What else is certain is that this strategy does not sit well with Nick at all. Nick does not take kindly to being “bullied” (his words), and so angles to get Natalie off. Mike seems willing, and for him it would be a good move. The main reason to keep Natalie at this point, apart from wanting someone weaker around at the merge, is to stay “Goliath Strong”. Now, that’s all fine and good if you’re in the majority of the Goliaths. Mike, however, is on the outs with them, and while one doesn’t want to burn too many bridges, Mike can use this as an excuse to move against them, and bond with the former Davids. Sadly, while Mike does want to make the move, he’s too concerned with keeping his old bonds as well, and thus wants Angelina on board. For Angelina, this would not be a good move. Angelina, with Natalia gone, is effectively the power of the old Goliaths, and thus needs more of them around, such as Natalie, to secure victory. Couple that with her talking about voting “anticipating a merge”, and we can kiss Lyrsa goodbye. Let’s hope for a fun Tribal Council, at least.

What we get is basically a repeat of the first Goliath Tribal Council. Someone (in this case Lyrsa) rails into Natalie for having few social graces, while Natalie keeps her composure and gives a classy voting confessional where she compliments the person receiving her vote. Say what you will about the woman, but she keeps it real. Angelina tries to act as peacemaker, even trying to defend the coat thing as Natalie looking out for her rather than blackmail. Sadly, while this is entertaining, it doesn’t reach the heights of the Jeremy boot, and is undercut by the obvious outcome of Lyrsa going home. Look, there’s the fifth name right now, and sure enough, it’s… Natalie?

Ok, show, you got me good there. True, Natalie does take away her class by refusing to give up her jacket to Angelina. I get what Natalie says later about being suspicious that Angelina was behind her boot, but given her reaction, it seems clear even to the people there that she wasn’t, so no reason not to be kind. All this is to say that, to my surprise, I’m actually somewhat sorry to see Natalie go. True, she was probably annoying to live with on a daily basis, and was even somewhat annoying on our screens, but it was just so refreshing to see someone so DIFFERENT on the show. What I mean is that the show loves to tout how it brings people from “different walks of life” together, but rarely gets someone with a drastic worldview. For good or for ill, Natalie brought that, and it was refreshing to see the show live up to this part of the premise. For that alone, she shall be missed.

This is definitely a decent episode, and had Lyrsa gone, I would have a lot of praise, since it would have made a boring, predictable episode at least a little exciting. With this outcome, though? It seems to me that with a blindside of this caliber, it should have been spectacular. Still, perhaps that’s the whole “After 37 seasons, everything seems done” problem, and as I say, this episode was enjoyable enough. Just hope they amp it up next week.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Episode 4: Jeff Probst’s Wet Dream

“Live” Tribal Council. Resume building. Copious mention of “Big Moves”. No, the loss in quality on your television doesn’t mean it’s dying. That’s just steam from how much Probst is panting at this.

Since this episode is meant to cater to Probst, we of course skip the fallout from the past Tribal Council (some would argue a unanimous vote means there would be no fallout, but I would argue that the presence of Natalie “Napalm” Cole means fallout is inevitable, unanimous vote or no), and cut right to the game-braking twists. No, I don’t mean the swap, we’ll get to that. I’m instead talking about a tragic loss for the game. Consider, for the moment, the player of Bi Nguyen. Not the best player by any stretch of the imagination, but she seemed to have some game to her, was a physical force on her tribe, and while on the bottom after the first vote, had some prospects to move back up. Pretty standard “Survivor” stuff, but bear in mind that Bi is an Asian-American woman, a demographic that has fallen on rough times lately. Bear in mind that the last Asian-American woman to make the merge on “Survivor” was Brenda Lowe on “Survivor Caramoan”, nearly six years ago. Not an impressive showing for a demographic, but Bi seemed like a good possibility to break the curse. Sadly, Bi will not do so, as while her injury is not severe enough to pull her from the game, she is choosing to eject herself because of it. Before anyone cries “Wimp”, it’s clearly not because Bi is in too much pain to continue or anything. Rather, it’s because, as a professional athlete, her physical health is rather important, and thus Bi doesn’t want to stake her career over a stint on a reality show she wasn’t doing particularly swimmingly at. While I am a little disappointed that this slot wasn’t therefore given over to a superfan who would have been willing to stick it out, I can understand Bi’s decision, and can’t really fault her for it. Not Probst, though! The man who gave infinite respect to someone quitting out of fear of “hurting someone”, you know, a seeming failure of character that shows disturbing homicidal tendencies, is curt and businesslike with the person valuing real life over “Survivor”. Ok, I know the show is kind of your life man, but get your priorities straight! I mean, at least Probst’s not deriding her for quitting or anything, but I feel like a Jenna Morasca-esque eulogy a la “Survivor All-Stars” might have been in order. True, Bi’s reason for leaving is nowhere near as heartbreaking as Jenna’s, but it still deserves more respect than it got.

From the ashes of a quit: Salvation for Probst in the form of a twist. Evidently the tribes were supposed to stay where they were for another episode (evidenced by the purely two-tribe challenge we saw in the aerials), but when word of Bi’s quit came down, it was moved up to today. A little on the early side, but not sinfully early. What is sinful is the lack of shake-up in this switch. Seriously, you had a perfect opportunity for drama! Make it a quiz like on “Survivor Guatemala”. Imagine the horror if you’re labeled the Goliath who was “Most like a David”. A golden opportunity, and you waste it, “Survivor”. Shame on you.

As the overall tribe with the majority going into the swap, you’d expect the Goliaths to have an advantage on the majority of the tribes. And they do, if by “majority”, you mean “every”. Our former David tribe, now mercifully changed to the cooler “Vuku” tribe (though why they weren’t just called this from the beginning, I don’t know. Also, trivia time, this marks the first season that no tribe buffs had tribe names on them since “Survivor Nicaragua) consists of Natalia, Kara, Alec, Davie, and Elizabeth. Our stacked tribe for the season is the newly-created green “Tiva “tribe. Seriously, this group got arguably the two biggest physical players (Johnny Mundo and Dan), and arguably the three best puzzle solvers (Alison, Christian, and Gabby). The Goliaths, meanwhile, become the “Screwed” tribe… I mean “Jabeni” tribe. Cool name and all, but seriously, talk about a lopsided competition. Your tribe has on it Mike and Natalie, probably the two biggest challenge sinks in the game, Lyrsa, who’s considered to be the biggest challenge sink in the game, and Angelina, who while not bad, is no challenge all-star. True, they do get Nick, who’s fairly decent at challenges, but given that challenges often come down to “how strong is your weakest member?”, they’re probably going to be seeing a LOT of Tribal Council.

While we’ll see in a bit that a lot of my assumptions aren’t the case, while the former Goliaths have a numerical advantage on each tribe, each has a crack of some sort that can save the former Davids. Vuku seems to have the most solid majority, with Natalia, Kara, and Alec all having been part of the supposed majority bloc on the old Goliath tribe. Davie, however, has an idol, so all bets are off. Tiva would seems to also be pretty solid, but don’t forget that Alison was left out of the majority alliance on the original Goliath, so in the unlikely event that this tribe was to attend Tribal Council, there’s at least some opening to exploit. As for Jabeni, any tribe with Natalie on it is going to be inherently volatile, but having so many minority alliance members on it makes things even weirder.

But where is Carl in all of this chaos? If you guessed “Exile Island”, then congratulations! You’ve figured out that the producers have run out of original ideas! We’ll come back to that in a moment. For now, we check out the new Vuku camp, which despite being the “David” camp originally is evidently very nice, with much “oohing” and “aahing” from the former Goliaths. Neither Elizabeth nor Davie, though, have any bones about where they stand on this new tribe. As they are not closely aligned, Davie and Elizabeth set their sights on making friends with the former Goliath’s in the hope of gaining a spot at the table. Davie in particular is eager to go, calling this the part of the game he likes. That said, Davie also admits that he’s not always the best at relating to others, again citing his status as a black nerd to emphasize this. Still, he tries to bro-down with Alec and it seems to go all right. Unless you compare it to Elizabeth, that is. Elizabeth is off with the ladies, looking, as she says, for common ground. She finds it, at least with Kara, in the realm of horses, as the two chat up their shared experience with the animals. Advantage, Elizabeth.

Throughout this conversation, Natalia is in the background, glaring. At first, I thought the show was being subtle, and hinting at a later story where Natalia brings this back to bite Kara in frustration. Then you remember that this episode is made to satisfy Probst, meaning all subtlety must be thrown out the window. Instead, we get Natalia talking about how concerned she is over this bond, and how it breaks her trust with Kara. Ok, Natalia is clearly being bit by the paranoia bug. To give her her due, it IS right to be a little concerned when an ally starts getting chummy with someone outside the alliance. But, one has to remember, this is the FIRST DAY TOGETHER for this tribe! Getting to know each other is the ONLY thing going on right now. On top of that, you and Kara have been together 10 days, building trust all that time. Now she talks about a shared interest with someone she’s known for one day, and you’re worried she’s flipping on you? There’s a big difference in your math there, girl.

Getting back to Carl, he gives us one of the smoother transitions to talking about his job, noting that while trucking and Exile Island are both very isolated activities, at least with trucking you have SOME options for communication. It’s still a little forced, as all such conversations will be, but it’s better than most, and for that, Carl earns my respect. Carl has little time for boredom, though, as a note hints at something for Carl about to be washed out to sea, having fallen from a tree. Deducing that it is a coconut (as rocks and trees, the other places idols are hidden in, don’t fit the clue), Carl runs to the shoreline to look for a coconut. At first, it seems like it’s going to be a fun, fancy-free idol hunt for Carl, casually picking up a coconut or two, until a hilarious bit of editing ensues. Carl comes around a rock outcropping to find a sea strewn with coconuts. This I can get behind. Make him work for it! Make him suffer!

After a suitable amount of suffering, Carl finds the coconut with blue string, revealing not an idol, but the teased “Vote Nullifier” of the season. I went over my thoughts on this twist during my cast assessment, and frankly, nothing new has come up since then to change my opinion To briefly recap: while I’m not wild about this twist, I see some potential, and am willing to give it a season to impress me. That said, I think it’s in good hands with Carl, at least in terms of being played well. Carl strikes me as a slow, methodical player, exactly the sort of person who would wait and read the room, determining the right moment to use the nullifier for maximum effectiveness You’re in good hands, twist.

Referring to the Jabeni Tribe as the “Screwed” tribe was not just me being an over-the-top internet blogger. Mike, a member of said tribe, has exactly the same assessment. And, as it turns out, not even challenge ability will be needed for this tribe to self-destruct. Natalie, who I SWORE would jump at the chance to have some original Davids on her tribe as they’d be easier to boss around, evidently really meant her “Goliath strong” comments at the last Tribal Council, as she declares to confessional that she wants them gone. Again, why? Apart from the potentially fitting in better with her personality type, they could make a more solid alliance than Natalie’s had yet But no, they must go, but first, boil water for Natalie. Despite claiming to take the criticism of “Delivery of the message is important” to heart, Natalie fails to do so. Although her point about needing to get stuff done before dark is correct, she goes about it in her usual, bossy manner, such that after she leaves, Angelina sees no point in denying it to Lyrsa and Nick, even effectively referring to this as a “good” day. Way to keep those cracks covered, guys!

Ah, but Angelina is not the only one quickly cracking on Jabeni, as after Nick says he thinks no one from his original tribe has an idol, Mike reveals the existence of Dan’s, which I’m sure will in NO WAY screw Dan over later. Still, you know what this alliance needs? A dumb name! Yeah, I held out hope that Nick had given up on that particular line since we had a full minute of strategy involving him without it being brought up, but no, he and Mike align, dubbing themselves “The Rock Stars”. Still not a fan of this, though adding in sounds for Mike’s air guitar was a nice touch.

One would hope that with Christian and Johnny Mundo on the same tribe, talk about the logistics of Slamtown would quickly recommence, and those people are not disappointed. It’s a funny conversation, clarifying that Slamtown is populated by people Johnny Mundo has slammed, though if Johnny Mundo is the “Mayor of Slamtown”, does that mean he slammed himself? How is that even possible? Christian asks for a consulate position there, which Johnny Mundo considers. While humor does come from this conversation, it’s also a very necessary one for Christian. Lord knows his survival skills won’t help, as after shots of Johnny Mundo, Dan, and Alison all effectively chopping bamboo, we see Christian’s attempt at it. True, he does not fail as hard as Stephen Fishbach’s attempt at such on “Survivor Cambodia”, but comparatively, it’s still pretty bad. Johnny Mundo confirms that it’s working, and we can sleep well knowing that Christian has mastered the difficult art of being “charmingly awkward”.

Less effective is Gabby, feeling left out in the cold by Christian’s bonding. Not because he’s ignoring her, or anything, but because he has an ease at this that she does not. She breaks down crying late at night, leaving Christian to comfort her. On the one hand, I sympathize heavily with Gabby here. Feeling like you just can’t fit in due solely to your personality is something most people can identify with on some level, and it’s been a big part of my life for a while. That being said, seeing Gabby break down here, since she’s had some sort of breakdown in most episodes so far, is starting to make it seem like she isn’t really cut out to play “Survivor”. Again, I’m not knocking being emotional, especially on a show like this, but at some point you need to be able to handle yourself without dissolving into tears. Now, Gabby will rally later on, and I give her nothing but credit for doing so, so this probably isn’t a deal-breaker. Still, this really needs to be the point where Gabby makes a full turnaround. Comparisons will be made to Aubry’s arc in episode on of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, and the comparison is an apt one, though I’m inclined to say Aubry’s was stronger, and worthy of less flak than Gabby’s. Partly this is just due to timing. Aubry did it first, and so has the advantage. Also, though, the few minor differences between the arcs of Aubry and Gabby give Aubry the edge. Aubry’s breakdown was early, and due to the elements, whereas Gabby’s was well into the season, and related to social issues. Why does this matter? Well apart from winning a challenge being a stronger comeback if the question was whether you could handle the elements rather than the players, Aubry never professed to be a challenge badass. She was competent enough, but it wasn’t her main selling point. What did Gabby talk up prior to the season as her strength? Her social ability. If it’s collapsing this early, it’s a poor outlook for her prospects.

Christian should be given props for this moment, though. He gives Gabby more credit than she gives herself, noting that they both have on and off days, and support each other on those off days. People, find yourself a significant other like Christian. He may not be attractive in the conventional sense, but damn if the man doesn’t know just the right thing to say to comfort someone.

CHALLENGE TIME! Today, we have ourselves a new twist on a classic challenge. It’s blindfold time, so you know a caller will be maneuvering people through an obstacle course and then a table maze. The catch this time is that the caller is not stationary. Rather, the caller is put into what I can only describe as a minimalist wheelbarrow, and rolled around a course prior to the table maze portion. This keeps all the classic difficulty and physical comedy of blindfold challenges past, but makes it different and memorable, plus changes the strategy for the caller a bit. Rather than a loud person, you now want a light person, hence why all three callers (Angelina, Gabby, and Kara) are women, a rarity for this challenge. In addition to immunity, baked goods are on the line for the winning tribe. Not bad stakes, though they again just make a smaller immunity idol for the second idol, which always bothers me. Your big idol has a hat. Just take it off, and use that as your second idol!

Tiva is naturally going to win immunity, so it’s no surprise they get an early lead and hold it. Credit where it’s due, Gabby does a fantastic job as caller, and deserves all the praise she gets. While not as direct as Aubry’s arc, it’s redemption nonetheless. We can probably guess that Jabeni is going to Tribal Council, but they give us a good bit of back-and-forth between the two tribes to throw us off of the trail. Vuku actually falls behind early for no apparent reason, before Angelina gets Jabeni stuck on a maze portion. Still, both are on the table maze portion (not to be confused with the regular maze portion), and to our surprise, Jabeni pulls out a narrow victory, mostly due to Kara screwing up the table maze, and forcing Vuku to start over. Got me there, show, though it is a shame, as a former David is likely to go, and I really like both Davie and Elizabeth.

Davie talks about not wanting to use his idol this early, and I can understand why. As someone in the minority on his original tribe, with no particular ties to Elizabeth, the idol is a good safety net, and he has no reason not to just jump ship. That said, with how obvious the “Goliath Strong” feeling is from all original Goliaths, I’d actually be in favor of Davie playing his idol tonight. With Carl coming back to the tribe, that would give him a close ally and a solid majority to go off of, as well as some good resume building. True, you’re out one idol, but those can be found again. That said, Davie’s backup plan is not bad either. After a good bit of actin on idol hunting with Elizabeth, Davie throws her under the bus to the old Goliaths, mentioning that she had targetted Natalia during their idol hunt. This sets Natalia’s hackles up, and understandably so. You’d think, then, that she’d be extra assured when Kara expresses indignation on her behalf. And you’re right, but she’s still paranoid. We’ll come back to that in a second. With Elizabeth throwing Davie under the bus, and Alec seeming to favor eliminating him to shake things up, it’s time to debate who’s better to go. It’s a tough call, and there’s really no wrong answer for the former Goliaths. Keep Davie, and you have a challenge competitor and provider who was on the outs with his original tribe. Keep Elizabeth, and you’ve got someone Kara has bonded with, and who won’t ally with Carl. Due to this last point, I would say keeping Elizabeth is the slightly stronger move. You can still work with her, and she won’t want to work with Carly, after Lyrsa. Plus, eliminate the idol.

Remember that paranoia I said would come up? It takes the form of Natalia needing constant reassurances on the vote. This begins to annoy Alec, who feels she should have more trust than that. Davie, in a good bit of subtle social maneuvering, casually suggest to Alec that they just cut the paranoia and target Natalia instead While Elizabeth vs. Davie was a great debate, Elizabeth vs. Natalia is no contest. You keep Natalia. You’ve known her longer, you’re allied with her, and while Kara and Elizabeth have a bond, nothing is set yet. Your alliance has been going for about 10 days. You’ve been on this tribe one day. No need to drastically shake things up yet.

Probst’s dream Tribal Council kicks off with some good, subtle sniping at each other on the parts of Elizabeth and Davie. The real kicker, however, is when Alec has had enough, whispering to most everybody except Davie, a fact that Probst points out between orgasms. It’s chaos, and more organic chaos than some seasons I could name (looking at you, “Survivor Game Changers”), but it still feels contrived, somehow, and I’m more convinced than ever that this is a predictable vote they’re spicing up by any means necessary. They’re not doing a bad job of it, but this is clearly an acting job from Alec. Natalia is sticking around.

And then she gets her torch snuffed. Great.

On the one hand, I’m happy that of all the targets, she left. Davie and Elizabeth were both bigger and better characters than her, and apart from her tirade exiting Tribal Council, Natalia probably won’t be remembered much. Plus, we did get a good idea of why Natalia left, even if a lot of the strategizing was left out. Still, it was the wrong move, and feels very weird coming from Alec. It would be easy to compare him to Alec Christy of “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, but I’d argue after this episode, he’s more like Jon Misch from that season. A bland, boring guy who after being silent for a long time comes up as a major strategic power. It just feels wrong, even if we didn’t lose a great player this time as a result. That said, if this is the beginning of an “Era of Alec”, I’m not looking forward to it.

This episode baffles me. It fooled me, yet I didn’t feel the usual excitement from being fooled. Maybe the charm of the early season is just wearing off, maybe Alec just isn’t that interesting, but despite being technically competent, I couldn’t get into this episode. By no means the worst, but I hope the season can do better.

“Shocked Carl” needs to be a meme.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Episode 3: It Builds Character

Tonight, “Survivor” takes on a guest producer. Rare, I know, but it happens. You can usually tell because the episode takes on a distinctive theme. In this case, that theme is “Suffering builds character”, which you may recall was the creed of Calvin’s dad from “Calvin and Hobbes”. Yep, that’s our guest producer, ladies and gentleman. Bring on the rain!

First, though, we have to bring on the pain, as we see how the three from the David tribe on the wrong side of the vote weather things. All are quiet, but Davie probably takes it the best, pulling Christian aside and asking what happened. Christian claims that he and Nick were brought in last minute, hence why Davie was left out. This seems to satisfy Davie, although his hidden immunity idol probably helps with that. Carl is also quiet, but doesn’t really talk to anybody. Instead, he gets emotional about it, stating that Jessica was like a daughter to him. “Emotion” in this case takes the form of a quavering in his voice and a few tears, which might not seem like much, but for a tough guy from Texas, that’s basically curling up into a ball and sobbing. Still, he rallies, and certainly doesn’t do anything to hurt his game.

Before we get to our last outsider, let us check in with the Mason-Dixon alliance. They wisely wait until they’re out of eyesight and earshot before celebrating, and then plotting their next move. As we saw with Christian earlier, they decide to throw Gabby under the bus as a ringleader, which I have to laugh at a little bit. Not that Gabby is blameless in this vote-off, but of the five who voted for Jessica, I’d say she had the LEAST agency in that vote-off. True, she did bring in Christian and Nick, but they were the ones who decided to pull the trigger, and it was Lyrsa and Elizabeth who targeted Jessica in the first place. Still, putting the blame on Gabby is a good move, at least in the short-term. It’s clear that the Mason-Dixon alliance is trying to be the swing vote between the two sides, so making as few enemies as possible can’t be a bad thing for that. That being said, it also means you need to eliminate Gabby before Final Tribal Council, lest she be given credit for moves she didn’t really make. Look at the Final Tribal Council of “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X” for your evidence. Ultimately, it was Hannah who convinced Ken to vote off David, but who got the credit for it? Adam. Why? Because he was the one seeming to be making moves against David, so everyone thought he must be behind it. Narrative is important here, people.

Still, the best-laid plans are worthless without good execution, but evidently Mason-Dixon have that covered. We check in with Bi and see that, after initially blaming Davie for no apparent reason, she switches to Gabby. Bi then goes full Abi-Maria (“Survivor Philippines”) and effectively declares Gabby dead to her. More on that in a bit.

We check in with Goliath next, where Johnny Mundo is still trying to convince us that he is not his wrestling persona, and failing miserably due to mentioning his nicknames every five sentences. I kid, I kid. Johnny Mundo actually does a pretty good job here of showing what a good reader he is of the people around him, before using this to give us the same “Natalie is on the outs” confessional we’ve heard a few dozen times over the course of this season already. Instead, let us focus on something different: hermit crabs. Yes, of all things, I want to draw attention to a brief scene of a hermit crab race we see the Goliath tribe running during their down time. As this blog is primarily focussed on strategy, I normally wouldn’t mention something like this. However, it is very worth mentioning from an entertainment perspective. You see, this season has definitely been good so far, but from a strategy perspective, it’s not been that great. Not awful, by any means, but nothing special either. Normally this would bring a season down, but decent strategy can be offset by an influx of charm and character, which is what we get here. Watching the show, it’s easy to forget that these are real people living out their day-to-day, 24 hour lives, needing to meet their every need, including entertainment. It’s just so charming and, for want of a better term, real, that it just endears me to the season. More, please!

For all my snark, there is a method to Johnny Mundo giving us what at this point is the standard Natalie confessional. Johnny Mundo, you see, is one of those who agrees that Natalie might be a good person to have at the end, due to her rubbing people the wrong way. Fair enough, but how do you plan to get her there? The answer is foreshadowed in the next scene, as we see a new bond at Goliath. Mike and Jeremy are bonding over a shared love of the game, enough so that Jeremy shares his backstory: he and his dad didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but Jeremy feels his dad would be proud of where he’s at in life. Sadly, Jeremy’s dad has Alzheimer’s, and is thus not really in a position to notice these things. It’s a sad story, and we’re thankfully spared the “this makes Jeremy a Final Tribal threat” confessional, so we can just take it at surface value.

Johnny Mundo may not want people to think of him as a wrestler, but if the other tribe is bringing it up as a topic of conversation, then I’d say it’s a lost cause. While playing in the sand, thus fulfilling the prophecy from last episode, Gabby and Christian debate the logistics of Slamtown, which is another funny and charming scene. If nothing else, you can say this episode does of good job of building up its characters and getting us to bond with them. Sadly, we must get the low, repeat point of the episode, out of the way instead, as Bi, Nick, and Davie all sit out on the raft during a fishing expedition. Bi again expresses a desire to see Gabby go, which Nick fervently agrees to. Since we’ve seen this all before, let’s take a moment to seriously debate where the Mason-Dixon alliance should go. As with any good debate, there’s positives to both sides. Getting out Bi strengthens the majority you currently have, and ruffles no new feathers. Getting out Gabby keeps the tribe stronger overall, and keeps your status as swing votes more secure. As to which side they should go with, well, it depends. For Nick, there’s no answer but to vote out Gabby. To someone with few allies, playing a swing vote is probably the best move, and getting out Gabby strengthens that. Christian, on the other hand? While Nick is being played up as his ride-or-die currently, he still has an alliance with Gabby as well. Having more allies is always better than having fewer, but this in turns gives Nick more incentive to get Gabby out, thus leaving Christian with him as his main option. It’s an intriguing turn: What happens when two member of an alliance have diametrically opposing interests? No answer is yet given, so we’ll have to wait for a swap to decide.

Back at Goliath, since we need a viable alternative to Natalie going home this episode, we put Jeremy up to bat. Oh, don’t worry, this isn’t the show manufacturing drama out of nowhere. Rest assured, Jeremy will be making plenty of mistakes this time around. First comes the time when he takes a leaf out of the playbook of Garrett Adelstein (“Survivor Cagayan”). In case you’ve forgotten who he is, Garrett is the guy who decided it was a bright idea to FORCE his tribe not to strategize, leading to his eviction as the second player of the season. All this, WHILE HOLDING A HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL! Yeah, to say that this is not a good place to draw from is an understatement. To give Jeremy his due, his reason for making this bone-headed move is solid. He sees people pairing off and talking, but not to him. Given that he’s a physical threat on a tribe that can afford to lose a physical player or two and still be good, that’s reason enough to be concerned. I have no quarrel with Jeremy wanting to do something about this. What I do have a problem with is that, rather than take the initiative and pull people over himself, Jeremy instead pulls the tribe together and effectively tells them to knock it off. As Natalie has demonstrated, bossing adults around does not generally go over well. Such is the case here, especially when Jeremy proves himself a hypocrite, and starts talking with individuals anyway, trying to throw Dan under the bus for his idol. Excellent job there, player. Excellent!

Man, these challenges just get worse and worse, don’t they? Now we’re just upsizing individual challenges, with a total of four players (in groups of one and three) completing a ropes course, and then two pulling a sled of puzzle pieces for two to solve. While upsizing a challenge is better than downsizing, it still doesn’t change the fact that this feels like three individual challenges Frankensteined into one. The puzzle is at least complex, being a four-piece pyramid, probably most remembered as being solved by Wendell on “Survivor Ghost Island”, but actually making its first appearance on “Survivor One World”. Yeah, I prefer to remember Wendell too.

Probst taunts the contestants by making sure the reward portion of the challenge (pillows, blankets, and chairs) is thoroughly soaked via showing it off, and we get to set things up. While the challenge itself may be lackluster, the one thing going for it is decent misdirection. True, we’ve heard more specific targets from the David tribe, so they likely lose, but both tribes have a least a shot at losing. However, that good will goes out the window when we see the Goliath tribe strategizing, and Natalie forcing herself onto the puzzle portion. Granted, if you’re going to use Natalie in a challenge, this is where you use her, but the fact that we see only them strategizing guarantees they lose. And while this did not ultimately play a factor (this challenge was pretty neck and neck throughout, and won on the puzzle, expertly solved by Christian and Gabby), I feel like the David tribe may have had an advantage here. Part of the ropes portion of the challenge involved three players untangling from each other. Naturally, the ropes were all made different colors, but even on my HDTV, the colors for the David tribe seemed more distinct than the colors for the Goliath tribe, making them easier to untangle. Not tarnishing David’s victory, though. They earned this, though at what cost?

Bi ran the first leg of this challenge, the solo ropes course, and Probst made a point of describing her as “hobbling back to the mat” afterward. Couple that with repeated cuts to Bi saying her knee was injured, and you’ve got a recipe for medevac. Thankfully, this is just a well-executed fake-out from the producers, as while medical does look at Bi’s knee, both they and she say she’ll be fine, and bandage her knee up.

Following that fake-out, time to see who the Goliath tribe tries to fake us into going rather than Natalie. To no one’s surprise, it’s Jeremy, due to the whole “big threat” thing he mentioned earlier. Surprisingly, rather than Natalie, Angelina is the one pushing for this. She’s really gung-ho about the whole thing, which tells me that she’s got a case of “big-move-itis”. You see, while it is true that the Goliath tribe could lose someone as strong as Jeremy and still be ok challenge-wise (they have no way of knowing a swap is next episode), that doesn’t make it a good idea. I’d tell you why, but I don’t have to: Natalia does it for me. She rightly points out that Natalie feels more on the outs the Jeremy, and is thus more likely to flip. Angelina argues that Jeremy is more of a charmer, and thus could better flip, but I disagree. Yes, Jeremy is charming, but he’s charming in an obvious way. He seems like the type who would fit in well on the Goliath tribe. Conversely, Natalie seems like the odd one out who you would logically expect to flip. Plus, remember that Natalie’s big issue is being to bossy. If she so badly wants to be in charge, where better to find followers than on a tribe supposedly full of followers? Not saying that the David tribe are all followers, but that seems to be what Natalie believes, and I think the David tribe is smart enough to play into that to gain an edge.

Jeremy’s biggest obstacle to staying, though, is Jeremy. In his third boneheaded move of the evening, he had encouraged Natalie to do what she needed to save herself, but also said it was an uphill battle. A bit tactless, but not bad in and of itself. However, when Natalie tries to talk strategy, and asks Jeremy not to be there, Jeremy turns it into an argument that makes everyone involved, but especially himself, look bad. I understand that if you think someone might be talking about you, you shouldn’t let them, but when you make a big deal out of it, you hit a point of diminishing returns on how much trouble you’re saving yourself. Jeremy goes WAY past that point here. Smart thing to do would be to put up a mild protest, then pretend to acquiesce, and listen in from the bushes somewhere. Instead, this argument drags on to commercial break, though I have to give the editors credit for cutting to commercial right when Natalie talks about cutting things off.

Then we come to Tribal Council. To jump ahead to my thoughts a bit, I think this is one situation where we were duped. This was made out to be a “Live” Tribal Council, where the decision was up in the air, and what happened at Tribal decided the outcome. For reasons I’ll get into shortly, I believe everyone knew the decision, and was playing up the discussion for the cameras. That said, if you were to tell me that Natalie was saved by her performance at Tribal Council alone, I would believe it. Seriously, this is some top-tier performing here! Gone is bossy, seemingly uncaring Natalie. Instead she’s calm, logical, and is open to criticism, even putting up what she says she will and taking Dan’s point about “The delivery of the message, not just the content” to heart. Compared to what we see Jeremy do (oh, we’ll get to him in a moment), she comes off as the much more logical choice to keep, despite what I said earlier in the blog. Seriously, I am agape. This is top-level play right here, and it came out of one on the people I would least expect from what we’ve seen so far.

Jeremy’s performance is why I say I think everyone knew the outcome of this Tribal Council beforehand. Natalie should have been the obvious target. It should have been easy. When someone is that annoying, you just gently remind people of what’s happened, and let that person self-destruct to prove your point. What Jeremy does here, going on a full-on, unprovoked attack on Natalie and her game is the work of someone trying desperately to save themselves. Jeremy is enough of a fan that I’m sure he knows this, and thus is only doing this because he knows it is his only chance. Unsurprisingly, it does not work. On a tribe looking for order, whatever the first nine days may have shown, tonight Jeremy showed chaos, and Natalie order. If Jeremy can take some solace he has two rare achievements to his name: He is both a male inductee and a pre-merge inductee into the Order of Sue Hawkabies, each a rare achievement.

I’ve got mixed feelings about Jeremy leaving. He definitely earned it this episode, but I think he was a more interesting and varied character than Natalie. The story about his dad really got to me, and while Natalie is a bigger character from an entertainment perspective, Jeremy had more facets to him, and I would have like to see those develop. To Natalie’s credit, though, she has a lot of class when voting for Jeremy. Complimenting his skin? Love it.

While not top-tier material yet, this season is doing a good job so far. True, a lot of the mystery was gone tonight, but it makes up for it in the characters. Not only is this season doing a good job developing a variety of people, but it does a good job making us care about them; no easy feat. I think it comes back to what I was saying about the hermit crab race earlier: We see them as people, which develops them as characters, which makes this season greater.

Of course, Natalie’s Tribal Council performance also goes a long way there, and as you can probably guess, that means it’s once again time for…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

As you’d expect, we’ll be talking about Tribal Council performances. Excluding Final Tribal Council performances (those get their own list someday), what feats of arguing and theatre are the most memorable and most effective? Conversely, which ones backfire the most? Success and failure is no guarantee for either list, though they help. With those very minimal ground rules out of the way, let’s get started with:

TOP 5

5. Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”): Much though I hate to give him any credit, it takes a lot to hide an idol ace up your sleeve, and if there’s one thing Russell IS good at (or at least was in his first two appearances), it was finding and utilizing idols correctly. Not perfectly, you understand, but good in an above-average way. His crowning achievement was the second post-merge vote of “Survivor Samoa”, where he kept it so perfectly hidden that he attracted votes to himself. Plus, we got his iconic “I ain’t finished playing just yet.” quote here, and to a lesser extent, “Keep hope alive”. Not as flashy as Parvati’s similar move on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, yet all the more iconic for it.

4. Malcolm Freberg (“Survivor Caramoan”): Yeah, you all knew this was coming. The guy who basically created a “Live” Tribal Council by making sure he and his allies were immune had to make the list for the chaos he caused alone. Malcolm loses some points because in the long-term, his move wasn’t successful, but even so, it did change the course of that vote, and was flashy enough to get a song made out of it, so it definitely earns a spot on this list.

3. Natalie Cole (“Survivor David vs. Goliath”): Seriously, if you want an example of keeping cool under pressure, this is it. Natalie dominated this Tribal Council by showing just WHY she could be a better tribunate than her competition, but without going over the top. True, this list has favored the flashy, but the finesse of this performance is just too good not to award.

2. Vytas Baskauskas (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”): Someone down in numbers on a swap tribe needs to have a damn good performance in order to make it through to the merge, and Vytas does just that with his “And we will be strong” performance. Natalie had finesse, but even so, she had to capitalize on an existing argument. Vytas used a natural breakdown of Laura Boneham to his expert advantage, thus being kept around until the merge. And all while appearing calm and collected, never once getting sucked into the argument. Well played, good sir.

1. Gary Hogeboom (“Survivor Guatemala”): What’s better than a performance that blindsides the players? A performance that blindsides the audience. Granted, this is partly due to editing, but Gary pulled off the blindside idol play in a textbook perfect manner here. Even if we had seen him find the idol, nothing in his demeanor would suggest he would play it. I mean, we’d probably FIGURE he would play it, since he would go home otherwise, but still, keeping a secret that big that under wraps? Masterful. Plus, “Survivor Guatemala” deserves more respect, and this is one area where it definitely earns it.

Honorable Mention: Stacy Kimball (“Survivor Fiji”): This is an odd one, as it’s a move I’ve yet to acknowledge, and really need to. Stacy was the first person to truly pioneer the idea of “Place votes on the person not likely to have an idol played on them”, which resulted in Edgardo’s exit, and is a move still used to this day. Stacy and the rest of her alliance do a great job of hiding the target here, hence the shocked looks on the faces of the Four Horsemen. Unfortunately, this one had camp strategizing as a big factor, and no theatrics at Tribal Council. True, that was kind of the point, but it still technically bars the move from the list proper, hence only being an honorable mention.

BOTTOM 5

5. Jennifer Lanzetti (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): Ah, Jennifer and her iconic bird pose. She wasn’t the first to stand up at Tribal Council, but she was the first to do it at a Tribal Council other than the final one. Not sure that it alone was what doomed her, but it didn’t help. Jennifer’s big failing here was really just in being too open about her plans and scheming. Easy enough to do, but no matter what, she just kept digging herself deeper and deeper, flip-flopping on stories and giving into pure, emotional protests, which led to a rightful exit. Still not as much of a mess as we’ll be seeing, though.

4. Ami Cusack (“Survivor Micronesia”): Similar to Jennifer, though dialed up to eleven. Ami also had an emotional breakdown at an insurmountable wall that exposed her scheming. Ami’s breakdown was bigger, which makes it in a way more entertaining, but also sadder, especially since we knew Ami better as a strategist than we did Jennifer. That said, because this breakdown seemed bigger, Ami gets the higher spot on this list. However understandable, it was a shame to see a great strategist sink to this level of argument.

3. John Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”): This one is more anecdotal than evidence based, but even given what we saw in the episode, Cochran really did himself no favors at this Tribal Council. Like Jeremy, he kept talking and protesting where he really didn’t seem to need to. Unlike Jeremy, Cochran ACTUALLY didn’t need to, and if Dalton Ross is to be believed, nearly cost himself the game right there from overscheming. Thankfully he didn’t, but such a near miss definitely earns a spot on this list.

2. Gervase Peterson (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”): Cochran’s move nearly cost him the game, but you could argue Gervase here did more direct damage. When someone at Tribal Council is playing for your ally, you DON’T want to antagonize them and encourage them to just go for it. That’s what Gervase did here, and it led to the first rock draw in 23 seasons. Not a good look, and definitely not a good Tribal Council performance.

1. Jeff Varner (“Survivor Game Changers”): You all knew this was coming. I know Varner was desperate, but this was a depraved, desperate move that had (thankfully only) the potential to ruin someone’s life, all for a game he wasn’t likely to win anyway. Varner felt like scum afterward, and well he should, given the lengths he went to. But even taking out the moral perspective here for a moment, it was bad game wise. If people weren’t planning to vote for you before, they sure are now! Look at the tongue-lashing he got from his tribe. Well-deserved, I say. If Probst has you voted out verbally, you know you’ve royally screwed up your game with a single performance.

Honorable Mention: Hali Ford (“Survivor Game Changers”): It didn’t really impact things one way or the other, but Hali’s “I didn’t consent” bit gets such a chuckle out of me that I had to include it somewhere. Given that it didn’t help, but also didn’t make much difference in the outcome of things, this seemed the best spot for it.

Well, despite some of my criticisms, we’re three for three on good episodes so far this season. We’ll see if that holds, though, as I feel the swap is a bit too early this time around.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Episode 2: The Rudy Rule

As someone who watched past “Survivor” seasons out of order, I’ve never had quite the nostalgia blinders for the season some long-tie fans have. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a top-tier season. I just don’t agree when some say it was the pinnacle of “Survivor”, and nothing else ever comes close. And yet, even with this in mind, it still boggles me how, 37 seasons in, points made on the very first season still apply. It also boggles me how often they are ignored. I’m talking specifically about Rudy Boesch’s early maxim about how to do well on “Survivor”. “I’ve got to fit in. Me. Not them.” Simple, but poignant. So, why can Natalie not get that through her skull?!

Ok, ok, this blog’s not about Natalie. She just drove me nuts this episode. As one would expect, we start off with the David tribe, commiserating about Pat’s unfortunate exit. Nick in particular is relieved, as despite seeming somewhat oblivious last episode, Nick evidently had enough self-awareness to realize he was the probable target. To once again reinforce how luck plays a big role in this game, this length of time gives Nick an opportunity. Christian wants to work with him, his ire having evidently been reserved for the now-evacuated Pat. Nick compares it to the Stephen-JT alliance from “Survivor Tocantins”, which is not an unfair comparison, but those are some big shoes to fill, Nick, and you guys aren’t quite up to that caliber yet. This alliance is partially formed out of a fear of the women, as the pair agree that a woman needs to go next. Um, ok, where did this come from? I mean, I guess with Pat gone there’s now the possible threat of a women’s alliance, but Christian, might I remind you that your main ally at this point is a woman? Seriously, this sudden desire to eliminate a woman just seems weird to me. Nick being Nick, this alliance can’t go without a name, and so with the pair being from Maryland and Kentucky, agree to call their alliance the “Mason Dixon Line”. An apt name, to be sure, but doesn’t seem like a name that strikes fear in the heart of your enemies to me.

These guys might not be at the level of JT/Stephen yet, but they’re MENSA compared to what we’ve got going on with the Goliath Tribe. I’m starting to question what criteria are needed for the SWAT Team, since Dan, while his weight loss is impressive, seems very much unaware of some of the basics of “Survivor”. That idol he found last episode? In his suit jacket. Rolled in a sock. A jacket, I might add, that is not on his person, nor is anywhere near his person. Kara rightly calls this out. Dan, being an idiot, dismisses her concerns as being paranoia, going with a “It’s so obvious, no one would think to look there.” ploy. After some deserved bashing by Kara, everyone comments on how unsubtle the pair are being, with the consensus that Dan just wants a showmance, but Dara is using this as a strategy, which after the idol-hiding debacle, I can’t disagree with. To drive home how much of an idiot Dan is being, Jeremy, sure enough, goes looking through everyone’s clothes, and finds the idol. This sends Kara, Natalia, and Angelina into damage control mode, trying to calm things down by cementing a firm alliance. The three of them, each one bringing in another man (Dan, Johnny Mundo, and Alec) to create a majority of six. I’m not a big fan of any of these women, but I’m always in favor of the smart people taking control, and after what I’ve seen, I can’t deny that these seem to be the smart people.

There’s not too much time for strategizing, however, as another cyclone hits. Now, given what happened on “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, they’d be evacuated. You forget that that particular season was full of Millennial, who as we all know, need handouts. As such, both tribes are left to suffer though the night in the rain, resulting in neither having fire. Each tribe then receives a gift of a fire-making kit and a tarp (we never see the David tribe get a tarp, but it’s implied), since dead contestants tend not to be interesting. I can’t fault the production on this, but I also can’t shake the feeling that we’re wimping out on the “survive the elements” part of “Survivor”.

Once the weather clears, Davie goes out hunting again, stating a desire to be the provider of the game. No octopus this time, but he does come up with a lizard, so he has some skill. And thankfully for Davie, he does not go full Rupert (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) and have that be his only strategy. Davie goes out idol hunting, and finds it, shock of all shocks, in a distinctive-looking tree. Credit where it’s due, though, at least even within the tree the idol was hard to find, indicated only by a thin orange rope. Davie is rightly proud of himself, and celebrates by sniffing the idol. Ok…

Meanwhile, the misogyny spreads to the rest of the David tribe. Carl, formerly so gung-ho about eliminating Nick, is concerned about challenge performance now that Pat is gone, and so suggests one of the women by targeted. He specifically mentions Lyrsa, citing her as the weakest person there. Ok, there MUST be something the show isn’t showing us. It’s one thing for the opposing tribe to name her the weakest based off of very little information, but it another when your own tribe, who has seen you in action, says so. And it’s not as though Lyrsa has cost anyone a challenge. As she herself says, she helped WIN the very first challenge of the season. Granted, the challenge was stacked in her team’s favor, and Christian was the real kingmaker there with the slide puzzle, but still, she’s no slouch. True to her early alliance, Elizabeth lets Lyrsa in on the plot. Lyrsa, understandably, is not happy, though as she saves her blow-ups for confessional, I can’t really give her any flak for this. Even in the face of dismissal and frustration, the woman thinks logically. She had my interest. Now she has my respect.

Now, if you want to see what handling things poorly looks like, look no further than the Goliath tribe. Now what, you might ask, is going poorly? Everyone is laughing. The tribe seems to have a bounty of food. The prominent ukulele in the music tells us this is a happy-go-lucky bunch. Ah, but when that music stops on a scowling Natalie, you see where things go south. As the music indicated, the Goliath tribe is a happy bunch. This makes Natalie unhappy, as she feels they’re not taking the game seriously, never stopping to consider that they’re taking it seriously, just not with her. See, this is why she’s getting targeted by the majority. Here, Natalie breaks the aforementioned Rudy Rule, stating that she’s not going to play the way they want her to play. Honest, to be sure, but a downright moronic way to play if you want to win. Look, Natalie, there’s angles you can work here! People hate the showmance! They’re paranoid about Dan’s idol! Play into those things, and keep your head down, and you might just weasel your way into an alliance. But no, Natalie can’t adapt to her situation, she insists that the situation adapt to her. Natalie seems unable to understand why someone would vote off “the old person who can’t win”. Um, Natalie, perhaps you’ve heard of these things called CHALLENGES! You need to win them to avoid Tribal Council, and older people who aren’t as good at challenges make this difficult. It might also help if you weren’t so bossy and critical, though you would need to be aware of that to correct it. Even when Jeremy talks to her, TRYING to get her to see some sense, she just insists that she is who she is and that she should be respected for it. Look, I’m happy she’s as successful she is outside of “Survivor”. For now, though, she’s playing extremely poorly, and unless she shakes up her game, or gets REALLY lucky and makes it to a swap, she’s toast.

CHALLENGE TIME! Despite this being a generic obstacle course challenge with a puzzle at the end,this one does a few different things that I like. The first bit, sending one tribe member up a ladder to retrieve a key, is one of the coolest. Rather than being a puzzle ladder, this one has generic rungs that fit anywhere. The catch is that there are only two of them, and so you must balance on one while removing the other to progress upward. In the most generic part of the challenge, five tribe members row out to retrieve puzzle bags, and bring them back to shore. Then, five more members must solve the puzzle, balancing it on a wobbly platform a la “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, though this time the puzzle crosses platforms, rather than being confined to a single one. This challenge definitely reuses old concepts, but it puts new spins on them and scales it up, so it’s exciting enough for me.

It helps that there’s real mystery as to which tribe wins immunity and fishing gear (not sure what they need beyond the spear, but ok). Both tribes have had good content and strategy, and this is the sort of challenge where comebacks are easy. Even a major early lead by the Goliath tribe can’t sully things, since we know it all comes down to the puzzle. True, Goliath does win, but it seems more due to their teamwork on the puzzle from what we can see than from their physical prowess. Win they do, however, and so now the David tribe must make their plans.

At first, all seems set for Lyrsa, despite little evidence against her challenge prowess. However, the best-laid plans of Jessica and Bi go awry in the execution. Gabby (who was not present for the original conversation targeting Lyrsa), asks the pair what’s going on, looking for reassurance. Now, this is a simple matter for Jessica and Bi. All they have to do is tell gabby about the conversation with the majority of the tribe, and apologize for not letting her know sooner. Instead, they dismiss her and effectively say “Just go with it.” Gabby, not being a moron, is suspicious of this, plus points out that if the tribe goes for the “weakest” first, she’s probably not far behind Lyrsa. She considers making a move, which should soon be fairly feasible. Elizabeth and Lyrsa are still not happy with the direction of the vote, privately throwing a tantrum for a few minutes before settling down to the serious business of how to turn the vote around. They’re initially for targeting Carl as the person who threw out Lyrsa’s name first, before Elizabeth suggests that Jessica might be a more palatable alternative. This seems to be based on the “vote out the weak” mentality of the tribe (which, while Lyrsa doesn’t seem weak, is an understandable mentality, given that the only challenge they’ve won is one stacked in their favor), but Lyrsa demonstrates some good interpersonal knowledge by noting that Jessica is the glue in a lot of alliances. Ok, REALLY like Lyrsa now. Feisty, aware, and smart. Really hope she does well.

The pair bring the plan to Gabby, who tries to get Christian and Nick on board. Ok, I still like Gabby, and I’m willing to give her a pass on being this emotional this early, particularly given the whole “cyclone” thing, but she really does seem to be begging Christian to do what she wants, instead of being an equal partner. Not what I was hoping for. Christian and Nick debate the pros and cons of Jessica vs. Lyrsa, and jumping ahead, there is real mystery as to who they’ll choose. From a strategic standpoint, however, the move is clear: vote out Jessica. She’s no stronger than Lyrsa, and while going with the overall consensus keeps tribe unity, that still leaves ally Nick on the outs. Going with Lyrsa and her group splits the tribe, but puts you in power, and this early, that can be a major boon.

Thus prepared, we head off to our Tribal Council: Stonehenge. Ok, though that was in England, but apparently it’s in Fiji. Things heat up quickly, as Lyrsa mentions her name as having been thrown around, but declaring that as an anthropology major, she understands people. I’d say it’s more sociology that would be helpful on “Survivor”, but whatever. This, for some reason, causes Jessica to chastise her for not strategizing before Tribal Council. Where did that come from? Lyrsa said nothing about when she did or didn’t strategize. She just said she knew what was going on. How do these two things connect? This leads to more good double-talk before our vote.

Christian and Nick do the smart thing and send Jessica home, with a lot of good, shocked looks from those on the outs here. Can’t really say I’m sorry to see Jessica go, especially over Lyrsa. She brought some game, to be sure, but she was mostly a generic character. Nothing we hadn’t seen before. Lyrsa is a personality, and a smart one at that, so much happier that she can continue to entertain us over Jessica. If nothing else, Jessica can take comfort in getter her torch snuffed by an epic torch snuffer. Seriously, a stone axe with coral accents? Sweet! If I hadn’t already done a “Top 5 and Bottom 5” on snuffers, you can bet I’d be doing it now.

This is another solid episode for the season as a whole. Maybe not as exciting as the premiere, but it did what it needed to do: Set up plotlines while also keeping us invested in a self-contained story. A good lookout for the season. Let’s hope it lasts.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Episode 1: The Nickname Bureau

Wednesday, September 26, 2018. 2130 hours. Along in a bunker known only as “Classified” sits a large man with a bald head and tattoos that are clearly compensating for something. Here sits “The Specialist”, a “Former Federal Agent?” with a grudge to bear. The source of that grudge sits on his tv screen, laughing and making proud declarations of his prowess. The Specialist sighs, and shakes his head.

“You’ve crossed the wrong man, Johnny Mundo. I am the one true king of the nicknames.”

After that melodramatic intro, welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to! What we have here is the beginning of “Survivor David vs. Goliath” a season that is trying desperately to be good, despite the best efforts of host Jeff Probst. Seriously, nearly everything wrong with this episode can be traced back to him. He gets started early by trying to convince us that the conflict between “David” and “Goliath” is as old as time immemorial. Granted, it DOES appear in the Bible, so it’s at least a couple thousand years old, but the fact remains that it just doesn’t flow like other “versus” seasons do. “Heroes vs. Villains” is an obvious conflict. “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” is an obvious conflict. This is just you reaching for ideas. It doesn’t help that Probst frames it as “those who had to work for everything” versus “those who had everything handed to them”, as this just reminds me of the awful “Haves vs. Have Nots” twist of “Survivor Fiji”. Is this really the well you want to get water from, “Survivor”?

Sadly, the cast does not go against the theme, but leans into it, starting with our Goliaths (yes, that’s really their tribe name). Angelina kicks things off by taking about her getting the good draw of the tribes. Way to not set yourself up as a jerk there, Angelina! I can see you getting along GREAT with everyone! I do have to give the editors credit for humor, though. A clip of her talking about tribe strength is played over footage of Mike White, the skinniest and least athletic guy on the tribe. Now, Angelina does talk about them having brains as well, but that’s not what she says when the camera looks at Mike, thus making it look like Mike is the one she’s calling athletic, which is hilarious!

Probst then reveals the “David vs. Goliath” theme, and since the buffs were not handed out prior to this announcement, I can’t fault the cast for not figuring it out. Knowing that a pro-wrestler can always be counted upon to give a ballsy statement, Probst gets a generic quote from Johnny Mundo (I can’t remember all of his nicknames, so that’s the one I’m sticking with) about the greatness of their tribe. More diplomatic is Alison, who acknowledges her success, but tries to temper it with talk of hard work. Probst, of course, can’t allow someone to actually play the game WELL! He goes over to compare her life to one of the “David” tribe (again, really their name). Now, this might actually work as a good bit of debate if Probst picks one of the more successful members of the tribe (say, Nick the lawyer), but instead to make Alison look like an ass, Probst goes to the guy on the tribe who grew up with the least. Pat, literally the person who INSPIRED THE THEME OF THE SEASON! Alison’s trying to play well, but you’re not letting her, Probst. Screw you.

Oh, and Probst talks about how the idea of this season is “knowing how to use the advantages you’re given”, which will in no way railroad the contestants into making big, yet stupid, moves. Translation: Prepare for a dozen more “Secret Advantanges”. Yay.

Ok, ok, onto the good stuff about this season. While we once again start off on a boat, at least it’s a DIFFERENT boat this time. On a more interesting note, we’re told we’re getting a challenge for shelter-building equipment right away. We’re not told yet what the challenge is, but the Goliaths get their first “advantage” right away. They’re told to pick “the two weakest people” from the David tribe to run the challenge, one man and one woman. They unsurprisingly choose robotics expert Christian as the man, which makes sense, given that he appears to be a stick figure given life. However, in the only really dumb player move of the night, they pick Lyrsa as the woman. Lyrsa? Really? I mean, she’s short, I guess, but Gabby and Jessica are both short as well, and seem less strong from their build alone. This choice boggles my mind. The Goliaths are then asked to pick their strongest man and woman to run the challenge, ultimately picking the two people we’ve heard the most from: Alison and Johnny Mundo. Both solid choices, I say. In terms of physical strength, Johnny is a good choice, and while Alison may not be the fittest person out there, she is a physician, showing that she’s got brains. As the challenge will inevitably have a puzzle, this makes sense to include.

So far, the Goliath tribe is getting all the breaks, but that would be unfair, and as we all know, “Survivor” is completely fair. We know because they told us so. In any case, they give us an interesting “One cuts, the other chooses” scenario to shake things up for the challenge. While the Goliath tribe chose the competitors, the David tribe chooses the tasks each pair must go through. A fun way to shake up your average obstacle course/puzzle challenge, but I do wish that the Goliath tribe had been informed of this beforehand. If you knew your challenge would involve balance, do you really think Johnny “Top Heavy” Mundo would be competing? No. But because of the lack of information, the Goliaths are screwed. Sure enough, they get assigned the most difficult balance challenge (plank bridge), along with the tightest ropes course (a net tube), and the most difficult puzzle (a 15-piece 3-D cube), while the David tribe takes the slide puzzle. I would mention the other portions, but this was was really a gimmee for the easiest. Add onto that the fact that Christian solves the puzzle in about five seconds, and you’ve got a clear advantage for the David tribe, and I’m not just talking about their shelter-building kit.

As we leave for camp, Probst again attempts to tie this into the theme, though I’m more interested in hearing from Christian. The guy is neurotic in the most entertaining way. Solving a slide puzzle in about five seconds is impressive, so you’d think he’d rest on his laurels. Instead, Christian goes on and on about how he didn’t do as well as he would have liked at the puzzle, and could have shaved off a second or two. Yeah, it was kind of obvious he’d do that, and I’m sure some of the neuroticism was playing to the cameras, but the way it was edited was still hilarious.

Our camp tours start with the Goliath tribe, licking their wounds after their loss. Natalia takes up the irritating hype train, stating that they’re still the strongest tribe. This is also where we get introduced to the many nicknames of Johnny Mundo. This causes Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”) to mentally kick himself, realizing that he could very easily have kept all the nicknames for himself, with no one complaining. Actually, in fairness to Johnny Mundo, a lot of time is spent talking about how his wrestling persona is different from his personality, and how he’s playing with the latter, not the former. It shows good self-knowledge, and I’ll be interested to watch the man in the future. For me, though, the real story here is Mike. No, no, not his quickly being outed as a successful Hollywood writer and former “Amazing Race” contestant. No, the real story with Mike is his shirt. Someone like Mike doesn’t come on this show unless they’re a real fan, and Mike is clearly a fan having fun with the concept of “Survivor”. You see, his shirt says “Can’t we all just get along?”, as in, the exact opposite of what happens on “Survivor”. Good sense of irony. I like this guy.

Natalie, meanwhile, is not fitting in nearly as well as Mike’s shirt. The trouble with successful people is that they tend to be the ones in charge. And they LIKE it that way. But there can only be so many leaders on “Survivor”, and pushing too hard to be one can backfire easily. Natalie, however, just can’t help herself, and starts bossing everyone around, which Natalia can’t help but complain about. Given my current slight dislike for Natalia, I’m tempted to side with Natalie on this on, but especially since we see that Natalie doesn’t really help BUILD the shelter, just tells others what needs to be done, I’ve got to go with Natalia on this one.

We end our current time at the Goliath tribe on the note of showmance. Dan and Kara are flirting, and despite Dan attempting to follow in the footsteps of Malcolm Freberg (“Survivor Philippines”), and not get “booty-blind”, he finds himself attracted to Kara. And who wouldn’t, when the form of flirting is to reference “Supergirl”? Smooth there, Kara.

Over on the David tribe, Pat is quickly taking charge of the shelter building, and rightly so. He works maintenance, after all, this is his area of expertise. Hell, he earns a lot of my respect by pointing out that the shelter should go under the canopy of the jungle, so better keep out rain. This is a bit of common sense not often seen on “Survivor”, and shows that the guy really does know what he’s talking about. Still, the man is neither quiet nor subtle, and while his leadership is useful in building the shelter, it understandably rubs people the wrong way. I’ve a bit more time for Pat than I do for Natalie, if only because Pat actually backs up his talk with action, but even I can’t deny that it would be justice for Pat to leave first from this tribe. After all, once the shelter is built, he has outlived his usefulness.

Discontent over Pat’s attitude leads to our first alliances of the season, and get ready because they’re coming like popcorn. It starts out small, with a conversation between Bi and Jessica concerning their paranoia. The pair agree to let each other know if they hear anything, but Jessica is not content with just this. She goes and forms an alliance with Carl, who in turn forms an alliance with Davie. Carl admits that he wanted to play below the radar, but can’t on this tribe. Meanwhile, Gabby and Christian bond over their nerd-dom, while Lyrsa and Elizabeth similarly bond. All intriguing alliances, but this last one is perhaps the one I like the most, because it’s just such an odd-couple pairing. The self-described punk-rocker lesbian and the cowgirl? Such an odd-couple pairing that I can’t help but root for their success.

Back at Goliath, we can confirm that Mike didn’t watch last season, as he makes exactly the same mistake as Jacob Derwin, going off and obvious idol hunting. This leads to many “Where’s Mike” jokes, and a call for someone to follow him. Natalie ultimately volunteers, but all this does is get the two people on the outs away so everyone can bash them. For their part, Natalie and Mike both realize this, and so I must question again: Why be so obvious about idol hunting? Yeah, you can’t make a dedicated effort while on a firewood run, but it’s still a decent chance, gives you good cover, and doesn’t hurt you socially! God, I know an idol’s alluring, but you’d think superfans wouldn’t keep making this mistake!

Switching back to David, Davie manages to catch himself an octopus with the spear that is evidently standard equipment on “Survivor” now, as the Goliath tribe was seen with one earlier. Frankly, by the time he gets it back up to the shelter, it looks like an unappetizing ball of goo, but hey, food is food. Davie gets in the requisite “Davy Crockett” reference, before we move on to slightly less charming things. It seems Gervase Peterson (“Survivor Borneo”) has decided to channel his spirit onto this season, as Nick, despite being on the stronger end of things for this tribe, declares to the camera that he will not do any physical work, instead saving himself for the building of alliances. Oh, so taxing! Ah, but Nick doesn’t just build alliances, he builds NICKNAMED alliances! And suddenly, The Specialist has a new target. I wasn’t predisposed to like Nick before, but he’s quickly getting on my bad side. Not that you have to be a workhorse on “Survivor”, but the cocky attitude he brings with it is getting on my nerves. And I’m not the only one, as Carl comments to Pat on Nick’s work ethic/attitude, and begins to target him as a result.

Speaking of annoying things, let’s talk hypocrisy! For all that the Goliath tribe berated Mike for his blunt idol hunting, they’re now all going at it. Personally, I’m rooting for the duo of Alison and Angelina, and not just because Alison is probably playing the best game of everyone as of this first episode. Angelina rightly points out that women rarely find hidden immunity idols, and with Alison, sets out help correct this statistic, redeeming her slightly in my eyes. It’s all in vain, however. Turns out Dan is NOT happy to see us, and just has an idol in his pants. I will say, I really like them hiding Dan’s finding of the idol initially. It made what was otherwise a bog-standard idol hunt into something with a lot of mystery. I do wish they’d gone full Gary Hogeboom (“Survivor Guatemala”), and not showed us him finding the idol at all, but I can understand wanting to show were idols are hidden for viewer reference. This also shows us that Kara and Dan are definitely in an alliance, and puts Natalia in it by proxy.

Meanwhile, the David tribe is bonding over sob stories. With a torrential downpour, there’s nothing to do but sit around and share one’s life story. Jessica breaks down about the abusive relationship her mother was in, and everyone sympathizes, as well as chime in with their own stories of woe. Except for Nick. He doesn’t do that. Not because he’s a sociopath, or anything, he’s just private. Then, however, he realizes that maybe not opening up has alienated some people, and so tells the story of losing his mother. A touching tale, marred only by the fact that he waited until the middle of the night to tell said story, thereby waking everyone up. Everyone seems cool with it, but if it were up to me, I’d berate him for telling us this now, when it could wait until morning.

If the first immunity challenge is a barometer for the season (which I hope it isn’t), then this season is just ok. It’s another obstacle course/puzzle, and not even any choice, but it does change up a couple of things to make it interesting. There’s a lot of collision between the tribes right at the start of jumping over hitching posts, the puzzle is a new one (involving pushing numbers to get them in the right order), and the first one to dig under a log wins a time advantage for their tribe, releasing ladders by cutting a rope rather than untying knots. Now this last point would seem a bit unfair, due to easily lending itself to an insurmountable lead, but Goliath gets that particular advantage, and we know they’re going to Tribal Council. Look both sides have had good strategic talk, but while the alliances are clearer on David, targets are a lot more nebulous, whereas Goliath has been shown to have clear targets, meaning they must… win? Ok, show, points for actually doing a good job keeping the outcome of the challenge a mystery. Did not see a Goliath win. Oh, and my point about the unfairness of the chop portion? It still stands. It was a close race on the puzzle, meaning it must have come down to that time advantage.

Now, the show decides to test to see if the audience has peed during the commercial break, by bringing us back to gratuitous shots of the ocean waving and crashing, just to work those bladders like proverbial fiddles. No, no, there’s an actual purpose here: to show us the rough seas that will lead to our first elimination. A brutal physical challenge Pat can handle, but rough seas do something to his back. And I mean, this is no joking matter. They guy’s in rough shape, barely able to respond, and seems out of it. His tribe huddles at the treeline, praying that he’ll be ok. I give the production team credit for keeping an early medical evacuation quiet, but when there’s only 15 minutes left in the episode, it’s hard to keep the mystery going. Still, sometimes all you need is a touching, heartfelt moment, not mystery, and this certainly tugs at the heartstrings. True, Pat would be a longshot to win, but the guy’s got passion, and clearly knew what he was talking about, so seeing him in this much pain is a true loss. It would take someone with the subtlety of a wrecking ball to ruin his moment.

Enter Jeff Probst, to do his usual schtick of annoying the doctor. It’s slightly more necessary in this case, since Pat does need to be pulled, but still, it just breaks the moment. To Pat’s credit, he never stops fighting, going full on Russell Swan (“Survivor Samoa”), and begging to stay. It’s clear t all that he must leave, with Gabby ending us off by tying the whole thing back into the David vs. Goliath twist. Look, Gabby, I want to like you. You’re nerdy, you’re smart, and you are my preseason favorite. Please don’t ruin it by playing into the theme too much.

In spite of Jeff’s best efforts, this ends up being a very solid opening episode. The cast, by and large, proves as likable on screen as they were on paper, and we get a good bit of content from pretty much everyone. Really, and I hate to say this since he is generally good at hosting, this would have been better without Probst. All the major annoyances were the forced theme and lack of subtlety, pretty much all brought by Jeff. Still, if this first episode can be this good with Probst being this annoying, I eagerly await episodes where he works WITH the show, instead of against it.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs

Idol Speculation: “Survivor David vs. Goliath” Cast Assessment

By the power of Hidden Immunity Idols, give my blogging LIFE!

Yeah, so it’s been a while. My off-season content has been dropping off, especially after obtaining full-time employment, but this is a new low for me. Not even ONE bit of content between the end of “Survivor Ghost Island” and the cast announcement for “Survivor David vs. Goliath”, a much worse title, but hopefully a better season. Now, I could make excuses about the demands of my job, vacations I’ve taken, or the simple fact of moving to a new apartment, but they would just be that: excuses. Simply put, the writing bug just hasn’t bitten, but sometimes you need to take the flyswatter and get the bug yourself. Of course, that would metaphorically kill the urge to write… You know what, this metaphor is confused! I just didn’t write, and I’m sorry. I promise to try harder in the future.

And speaking of the future, it actually looks decently bright for “Survivor David vs. Goliath”, dumb title and all! To give some summary thoughts early, while this doesn’t seem like the most exciting cast right off of the bat, they all seem fairly likable. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi to this group that, even if they might not be legendary, makes me really want to find out more about them. Thus making it all the more IRRITATING that CBS has released no videos of these individuals, meaning I’m going off of written bios ALONE. Yeah, way to get people hyped for your season, CBS. I’m sure limiting information is EXACTLY the way to attract us to this new group. Without further ado, but with limited information, let’s discuss these newbies, starting with…

THE DAVID TRIBE (Yes, that’s really what they’re called, God help us)

Bi Nguyen (28, MMA Fighter, Houston, TX): Right off the bat, we get someone who defies expectations, and I love it. We’ve had these sort of athletes before on “Survivor”, but rarely have they been women. Bi is someone who defies expectations, and therefore stands out. Normally, this would make her a major threat, but in this case, the differences are an upward comparison. Bi, at first glance, comes across as the “hot girl in bikini” role, and also fills the role of “Asian American Female” on the show, a role now infamous for its general short-livedness on “Survivor”. However, Bi has the BIG advantage of being on a season where most of the women are not going to be that good at the physical aspects of the game (though, to be fair, a lot of the guys aren’t going to be either), and thus Bi will be a necessity early on. Barring some sort of nerd-down or girly-girl down (and in both cases, Bi seems adept enough to navigate those troubled waters), she’s in it for the long hall. I see her being a mid-to-late merge boot, probably after the end of a individual immunity streak. If nothing else, I hope she last long so as to break the damn “curse” about Asian-American Women on this show.

Carl Boudreaux (41, Truck Driver, Houston, TX): Ok, I swear not everyone on this tribe is from Houston. Though so far, Houston is doing a good job representing. Carl is on the older end of things this season, though unlike “Survivor Ghost Island”, this is by no means a death knell, as the age divide is not quite as severe as that season. In a sense, Carl exemplifies what this season’s cast shapes up to be: not the most exciting, but likable enough in their own way. To me, Carl doesn’t stand out much as a character, but nor does he offend me. He seems like a nice, fairly normal guys who’s going to be inoffensive and not make waves on the show. Such people tend to have a decent shelf life, but are unlikely to win. Given that Carl seems like he’d be a decent challenge competitor, I put him as a late pre-merge/early merge boot, depending on how kind a tribe swap is to him.

Christian Hubicki (32, Robotics Scientist, Tallahassee, FL): Wow, just when you thought Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”) couldn’t get any skinnier. Ok, ok, I jest, but Christian does fall into that sort of stereotype very easily, and bears a certain physical resemblance to the man. Christian establishes himself early as a “Survivor” nerd, referencing some more obscure bits of “Survivor” lore, clearly being excited to be on this show, and even ridiculously suggesting bringing a graphing calculator to help build the shelter (though admittedly, that last part could actually be useful). Really, the big thing that makes Christian stand out to me is the fact that he seems more self-confident than people who fit his stereotype are. This is both a blessing and a curse for Christian. From a character standpoint, it’s a blessing, as he’s going to be different from what we’ve seen, and therefore an intriguing watch. It’s a curse because part of what’s helped people in that stereotype succeed is a combination of being underestimated/self-deprecating humor. Christian has a certain amount of self-deprecation, but not to the levels of, say, a Cochran or a Stephen Fishbach (“Survivor Tocantins”). This will make him more of a target later on, and thus I expect him out in the early merge. He might be able to hold things together a while, but soon the urge to scheme will be too strong, and he will proverbially fly too close to the sun.

Davie Rickenbacker (30, Social Media Manager, Atlanta, GA): Speaking of charming, while Carl might have exemplified the cast as a whole, Davie is probably the one who best turns on the charm. So much so that he’s my male pick to win the season, in spite of some glaring flaws in his bio. To get the bad stuff out of the way: He’s a talker. He has easily one of the most verbose bios this season, and while that’s fun for us watching, talking too much can be irritating to live with, not to mention a liability for an alliance. Also, he mentions one of his pet peeves is not being told what’s going on, but still expected to follow orders. In a game where being a loyal number at times can be an asset, this may be trouble. But dammit, the man makes me smile, and if he can do that with a bio alone, I can only imagine how good he is in person. We’ve seen that players based in the social media world can be geniuses at the game (see Bracco, Aubry), and I fully expect Davie to join their ranks. Plus, one of his other pet peeves is not being called by his proper name, and that makes me laugh for some reason. You won me over, dude. You win.

Elizabeth Olson (31, Kitchen Staff, Longview, TX): Elizabeth is one of the younger people we’ve talked about so far, but you wouldn’t guess that if her age were taken out of the equation. She’s a motherly type, and looks the part as well. She seems nice enough, but unfortunately on “Survivor”, that’s usually not an asset. In a close quarters environment, unless mothering is done with great finesse, people tend to bridle under it, and vote off the object of said mothering out of spite alone. Don’t get me wrong, Elizabeth might have untold finesse that I’m not aware of, but when you list your pet peeves as “laziness, a lack of common sense, and whiners”, three things you are VERY likely to come across on “Survivor”, and I see Elizabeth quickly turning into a cross mother, who will bet her torch snuffed shortly. Add onto that no particular physical prowess, and I don’t see Elizabeth making the merge at all. I doubt she’ll be the very first one off, but I just think too many cards are stacked against her.

Gabby Pascuzzi (25, Technical Writer, Denver, CO): My personal favorite of the season, and no, it’s not just because she compares herself to Aubry Bracco (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”), my personal all-time favorite player. The comparison is not unwarranted, as both are young, openly nerdy social players hoping to capitalize on those smarts. Sadly, I think Aubry has a charisma and an awareness that Gabby lacks, and thus will likely not fare nearly as well as our lady of the Aubry Lobby. As much as I want her to win, Gabby simply stands out too much, and while she does have some social strengths in the game, I doubt they’ll be enough to save her. She’s definitely a pre-merge boot, and I will be all the sorrier for it. But come on, someone who compares themselves to multiple past contestants in specific ways (as I think everyone answering that question should do), isn’t from California, Texas, or Florida, and has a disdain for those who refuse to accept that facts are facts? How can I not root for this girl? Aubry proved me (Kaoh) wrong, here’s hoping Gabby can as well!

Jessica Peet (19, Waitress, Lakeland, FL): Ooh dear. Sometimes we’re good at defying stereotypes, sometimes we’re not. Jessica, unfortunately, is not. While a lot of the people cast to be the “hot young person in a swimsuit” have at least some depth to them, Jessica is not one of those people. She seems relatively weak, uninteresting, and has almost no defining qualities outside of being pretty. This spells an easy fate of her being the first one voted out this season. Simply put, there’s no reason to keep her around, and given her age/physicality, I could see her costing her tribe the first challenge. No way she wins, and most likely the generic early boot that everyone forgets.

Lyrsa Velez (36, Airline Agent, Boston, MA): While I admire her for trying to emulate the game of Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”), I fear that it may be just because both are of Puerto Rican descent. Lyrsa definitely seems like a fun character, but I fear she will be another short-lived one. Lyrsa strikes me as being the type who speaks her mind and isn’t afraid to make enemies. Another one who’s fun to watch, but may not necessarily be cut out for “Survivor”. If she can keep her personality under control, only using it strategically to bond with others, she should do well, as she seems like less of a challenge liability than a lot of people on this tribe. If, as I suspect, she is unable to, she’s definitely another pre-merge boot from this tribe. Again, definitely not the first, as she’ll be kept for a round or two for her strength, but probably not going to make the merge based on personality alone.

Nick Wilson (27, Public Defender, London, KY): Nick is very clearly going for the Chris Hammons (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”) gambit of being the educated redneck. I’ll give him credit that he lives up to the “redneck” part of it, speaking fairly simply and talking of bringing beers and a radio to “Survivor”. Unfortunately, what made Chris both an intriguing character and good “Survivor” player is that while he outwardly projected the “redneck” aspect, he was inwardly very intelligent. If Nick has this intelligence, he hides it EXCEEDINGLY well. Call me crazy, but this guy seems like all surface, no substance, though in terms of time in the game, that may not be entirely a bad thing. He’s one of the most clearly athletic guys out there, and a definite challenge asset on a tribe that badly needs challenge assets. His lack of intelligence means that once we hit the merge he won’t be able to save himself, but since we have others here that are a good combination of brains and brawn, I seem him lasting a good long while, possibly the mid-merge, before he’s the biggest fish in the pond, and gets himself snuffed for it.

Pat Cusack (40, Maintenance Manager, Watervliet, NY): Pat is one of the very few people we’ve seen at least SOME video of (he released a short clip of himself teasing the cast release), and is therefore one of the ones I’m most excited about. Even in a 10-second video, the man manages to be compelling. He even makes me like swear-word comedy, which is easily one of my least-favorite forms of comedy. Somehow, he just makes it clear that he’s just being himself, and means nothing by anything offensive, even if he really does mean it. This is a rare gift, and one that allows you to insult people with ease on “Survivor”, thus adding to the fun. With no real reason to be rid of him, but no real threat to be seen, Pat should be around a good long while. Late merge, I’d say, with a possible dark-horse shot to win the whole thing. Either way, I’ll be laughing.

THE GOLIATH TRIBE (Again, not making this up)

Alec Merlino (24, Bartender, San Clemente, CA): Alec is a bro. This is simply reflected in his bio, where he compares himself to Jay Starrett (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”), Joe Anglim (“Survivor Worlds Apart”), and Malcolm Freberg (“Survivor Philippines”). This would seem to be an all-star resume to copy, as out of six times playing the game between the three of them, five of them have been jury-making runs. However, I think Alec overestimates his charm and his intellect. Between his smarminess and seeming not too bright, I seem him following more the archetype of Drew Christy (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”). You know, Drew “Basically I’m a Badass” Christy, the man so obnoxious the tribe threw a challenge purely to be rid of him. Yeah, not a good comparison for me to jump to. I’d say that Alec would be safe for a little while, given his athletic prowess, but unfortunately, unlike the David tribe, the Goliath tribe has an abundance of physical strength. Thus, those in trouble early will be those who are harder to get along with, and so I’d say Alec is not making the merge of this group. I think he’ll survive until the switch at least, but a merge triber he is not.

Alison Raybould (28, Physician, Chapel Hill, NC): In order to talk about Alison, I need to talk a bit about the Goliath tribe as a whole. Perhaps because of the overall likability of the cast, it’s hard to get a read on how tribe dynamics as a whole will play out, but one thing I can say is that anyone who starts on the Goliath tribe is a longshot to win the game. Not because they’re bad players or anything, but simply due to human nature. We like the underdog. We root for the underdog. We want to see the underdog succeed. By dividing this season as the show has done, they effectively ruin the chances for half the cast. Put even one original David in the finals, and I almost guarantee the David will win, no matter how poor a game they played. It’s the same logic behind targeting the winners on “Survivor All-Stars”: no one wants to see the winners win again. With all that said, if there’s going to be someone who can overcome what I’m calling the “Goliath Handicap”, it is Alison. While by no means the most stand-out person on this cast, she has a charm and quiet intelligence that speak to overall good skills in the game of “Survivor”. And, in fact, these being quiet may be an asset, allowing her to manipulate from the shadows while never truly being threatening. It helps that Alison also hasn’t been as obviously “successful” as other members of her tribe, thus giving her more of an argument in the end. For all these reasons, Alison is my female pick for the winner of the season. Perhaps a controversial choice given the tribe she’s on, but like I said before, I think she has what’s needed to overcome it, and it would certainly make the season more interesting if we didn’t entirely write off half the cast at one go.

Angelina Keeley (28, Financial Consultant, San Clemente, CA): Evidently CBS has been recruiting in San Clemente this year. Sadly, they don’t find the most interesting people there. Angelina is one of very few people on this season that I get nothing from. She just doesn’t strike me as memorable, doesn’t strike me as charming, doesn’t strike me as having hidden depths, and doesn’t strike me as secretly a liability. Again, on this tribe, that may be an asset, and with no reason for her to be voted out, I see no reason for her not to make the merge. If there was to be a victim of an “idol blindside” or decoy vote, then Angelina would probably be it, and as most such people go out around the mid-merge, I’d say that’s where Angelina’s game ends as well.

Dan Rengering (27, SWAT Officer, Gainesville, FL): Dan here reminds me a lot of Michael Yerger from “Survivor Ghost Island”. Enthusiastic younger guy with good athleticism, compelling story, and more going on under the hood, proverbially speaking, than one might think at first glance. The guy’s claim to fame is earning his way to the SWAT Team from being overweight through hard work, proving that while the term “Goliath” may be a death knell in game-terms, it’s by no means a guarantee of actually leading a charmed life. Like Michael before him, I think Dan and his easygoing nature should easily coast through the first phases of this game, but also like Michael, Dan will find out there’s only so long you can hide. I’d call him an early to mid-merge boot simply for being too much of a threat with too good of a sob story, but he could also surprise me and be a dark horse victor. Dude’s got potential, but I’m not sure this is the season for him to win on.

Jeremy Crawford (40, Attorney, New York, NY): You may have noticed in reading my assessments that I tend to focus a lot on pet peeves, more so than other sections of the biographies I read. While others, such as while player one identifies with, can be fun for snark or provide a little insight, in terms of time in the game, I find this information to be most helpful. Bear in mind, you live with your tribe 24/7. There really is no escaping them. As such, what little things wear on you have a big bearing on how you will get along with your tribe. I bring this up partly to justify myself, but also to explain why I don’t think Jeremy is going to quite make it in this game. On the surface, the guy seems charming, athletic, and easygoing. But look at his pet peeves: “Lateness, illogicalness, and entitlement” Unlike some other ones from this cast (people driving slowly in the left lane, for example), these are things likely to come up in the game of “Survivor”, and ones likely to wear on Jeremy quickly. Add onto that him comparing himself to Jeremy Collins (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”), but then immediately saying he can’t fly below the radar (beyond just being bad strategy, it was a major part of how Jeremy ultimately achieved victory), and this guy is a recipe for a pre-merge boot. I’ll admit this is a controversial call, but reading between the lines, I think Jeremy has hidden negatives we have yet to see, and it will cost him.

John Hennigan (38, Pro Wrestler, Los Angeles, CA): I’ll admit, my opinion of John has improved since reading his bio, but that’s largely to do with how low it was. In looks alone, he reminded me of John Rocker (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”), and when I found out he was a pro wrestler, I was certain his personality would be as grating as that of John Rocker. However, this John does seem to have more of a lid on things, less of a temper, and is overall pretty chill by pro wrestler standards. That said, if you know anything about pro wrestling, you’ll know that its competitors are known for being over the top, and while not as bad as some of his compatriots in this field, John is no exception. As such, I look for him to be a late pre-mer/early merge boot. He could turn out to be a surprise if he can really dial his personality down on the island, but even the nicest pro wrestler is hard to live with long term.

Kara Kay (30, Realtor, San Diego, CA): Kara is another one I have difficulty getting a read on, though what few vibes I do get aren’t good. She complains about obnoxious people (because of course “Survivor” would NEVER cast someone incredibly obnoxious), and compares herself to Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Cook Island”), the go-to comparison of the young and beautiful. The words that jump out at me when I see her are “casual”, “recruit”, and “uninteresting”. I’m less confident in my predictions here than with others, but something about her just seems expendable to me. I don’t see her fighting hard to stay in the game, and as such I predict her as another pre-merge boot, if only as that easy vote a tribe needs to get through at some point.

Mike White (47, Filmmaker, Los Angeles, CA): What do you get when you cross the worst aspects of Chet Welch (“Survivor Micronesia”) and Michael Snow (“Survivor Caramoan”)? Someone destined for an early demise! Yeah, much as Mike seems like he’s a cool guy in real life, I just don’t see him lasting. He’s very much on the older end of the spectrum, and outright going to be one of the weakest in challenges. Given the tribe he’s on, this would be fine if he’s easy to get along with, but he compares himself to Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Cook Islands”), who is not exactly known for his easygoing demeanor. With almost nothing to recommend him, I’m putting Mike as yet another early boot for the season, probably even pre-swap.

Natalia Azoqa (25, Industrial Engineer, Irvine, CA): Natalia was very close to being my female winner pick, and I’d still put her in yet another dark horse winner spot. She stands out a little more than Alison, coming across as yet another person cast for how they look in a swimsuit, but unlike others, Natalia seems to have a grit and determination that I find fascinating. Also, unlike others cast to fit such a mold, Natalia is in a career that requires actual intelligence, without giving away said intelligence bluntly like others I’ve talked about in this assessment. Because of some stand-out qualities, I don’t quite peg Natalia as a winner, but she’s definitely a late-merge boot, and again, could very easily pull out a dark-horse victory if others aren’t careful.

Natalie Cole (56, Publishing CEO, Los Angeles, CA): Just as it is law that young, attractive women must put Parvati as the former contestant they most relate to, so it is law that all older black women cast on the show compare themselves to Cirie (“Survivor Exile Island”). Though less overused, I find this comparison more annoying. Parvati’s definitely a good player, but Cirie is one of a kind, with a charm so infectious it makes people behave like morons. Very few people have such a gift, and Natalie, while charming in her own right, is nowhere close. As the oldest woman on the season, and with a number of pet peeves relating to personality types commonly found on “Survivor”, Natalie rounds us out as yet another pre-merge boot. It’s a shame to see, as the woman clearly has accomplished a lot in life, and I certainly don’t see her being the first target. The simple fact is there’s just too much working against her, and not enough for her, and so, despite my general fondness towards her, she is done for.

And there you have the cast. Despite my pessimism about some of their chances, I feel cautiously optimistic about this group. I’m not chomping at the bit to see what they do, but a lot of them have great potential, and no one jumps out at me as annoying. Really, my big complaint is the theme. It feels forced, like a lot of “theme” seasons these days, but like I mentioned before, the big drawback is that we can basically eliminate half the cast before we start. The Goliath tribe, despite the name, has a long hill to climb.

Before we end this off, let me briefly discuss the introduced new twist. This season will have an “Idol Nullifier”, basically a vote you can secretly cast for someone, separate from a regular vote. If said person plays an idol, but gets the vote for them, votes for them still count. Like the season, I’m reserving judgement until I see it play out. On the one hand, I feel like it’s so hard to pull off that it doesn’t really matter, and will likely have no impact. Plus, it’s adding yet ANOTHER twist in a show already getting oversaturated with twists. On the other hand, it could make for some good bluffing, and I don’t see a way to alter it to be more effective without making it overpowered. If there’s a choice between an overpowered or underpowered twist, I vastly prefer an underpowered one, as at least it keeps fairness intact. Going back to the bluffing point, though, I feel like bluffing can be done well enough with idols, and so the twist seems unnecessary. Again, I won’t condemn it just yet, but I’m not holding my breath to see how this twist turns out.

Now, normally I’d sign off until the season starts proper, but I feel really bad about not giving you guys off-season content, so you’ll hear from me again before the season starts. Tune in soon for the return on “Survivor Retrospectives”!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.