“Survivor” What-Ifs?: Ghost Island

Rested and ready, it is time once again to explore alternate timelines.  How one small change might leave a big impact on something.  Me being me, we’re of course going to use this thought experiment to look purely at “Survivor”, because clearly that’s really important!

In all seriousness, it is my honor to have you back here for “Survivor What-Ifs?”, the blog where we make one little change on a given season and see how it makes things play out differently both on that season, and on subsequent seasons.  Our subject for today is “Survivor Ghost Island”, one of the more maligned seasons, both for a fairly predictable outcome, and for starting a lot of the trends people are saying are ruining modern “Survivor”.  I tend to be kinder to this season than most, but I’ll admit that’s partly because I really enjoyed the dominant alliance, and thought the dynamic between the two leaders was interesting enough to keep the season from being terrible.  I also admired the certain amount of restraint production showed with the “Ghost Island” twist.  Granted, the latter is more of a “Could have been worse” situation, but in this day and age, I’ll take what I can get.  Still, even as someone who defends this season more than others, I won’t deny it has some big problems, and while I would consider it “ok” it’s definitely far from being on the greats.  Perhaps, though, one little change may make that different…

Before we discuss said change, however, a couple of quick bits of business: Since it’s been a while since we’ve done one of these blogs, let me give a quick refresher on the format.  The blog will be divided into three sections.  “The Impact” will look at what the exact change is to the timeline, and how it affects the episode it occurs in.  “The Fallout” will look at how that change impacts the rest of the season.  “The Legacy” will look at how this change impacted the show down the road, both in terms of returnee seasons, and how the season would have been looked back on.  

Second, a reminder that there are SPOILERS ahead.  It’s difficult to talk about changing the timeline without talking about how things went down in our time.  Thus, be aware that if you haven’t seen “Survivor Ghost Island” or any subsequent seasons, you read at your own risk.  Duly warned, let us jump in.  

THE IMPACT

While there is some debate about where, exactly, Ghost Island goes “wrong”, as a season, I think most would agree that the death knell for anything interesting happened when Chris became the merge boot.  He was really the only major force speaking out against the pairing of Dom and Wendell, and once he was gone, their march to the end was all but assured.  All the more frustratingly, he HAD an idol to save himself.  One that was only good for one extra Tribal Council!  Almost no reason not to play it, since he knew he was likely getting votes, had no vote of his own, and SAW Dom play a legacy advantage!  Yet he didn’t.  And thus, the season suffers.  

So what if he does?  What if circumstances get Chris to play his idol?  By my own self-imposed rules, I can’t have him have a brain-wave about this, of course.  However, luck-based circumstances COULD make Chris play his idol.  Recall that, when he got said idol, it was only good for one Tribal Council.  However, Chris could play 50/50 guessing games, at the risk of losing his vote, to give it more Tribal Councils it could be played at.  Such a luck-based thing definitely falls under the purview of “Survivor What-Ifs?”, and could definitely change how Chris uses his idol.  

In our timeline, Chris got his first guess right, before getting the second one wrong.  This gave Chris a reason not to play his idol at the Tribal Council he goes home at.  But what if he got the first one wrong?  Now Chris’ idol is only good at this Tribal Council, and even if he did make a fairly large mistake in not playing his idol in our timeline, I do not think Chris is stupid enough to not play an idol at the only Tribal Council it’s good for.  As a cascade effect of this choice, Chris is now immune at the merge, along with Dom.  

So what happens then?  Thankfully, we had a split vote in our timeline, which would likely be no different in this timeline, so we can be assured that backup boot Libby goes, becoming the first member of the jury.  Thus, the merge will be further impacted in the next section.  

As an aside, this also means we likely don’t get Chris’ Ponderosa rap, at least not right away.  A fact that I personally rejoice in, but I know makes a lot of the fanbase cry.  

THE FALLOUT

If you were to force me to say honestly what I thought would happen with this timeline change, most likely what happens is that Chris goes one one episode later, and the season proceeds pretty much as we know it, just with Chris and Libby swapping boot order.  Chris just did not have the social capital to do much.  Heck, part of the reason he went at the merge in our timeline was because he was an easy consensus boot.  That said, just ending blog with “And everything else was the same, the end.” would be boring.  So, is there a cascade effect from here that could lead things to go differently?

In fact, I would say there are two.  The simple one is that Chris wins immunity.  Dude was good in challenges; there’s always the chance he could have pulled out a win.  Then, in the interest of ending the civil war amongst the original Naviti, Domenick might go just to end the argument.  

Slightly more complicated is how Chris might be able to leverage that last Tribal Council.  While Chris didn’t have MUCH social capital to work with, it’s not NONE.  Him getting votes might have been the wake-up call he needed to be more diplomatic.  With him then out of the danger zone of “Easy consensus boot goes” he found himself in at the merge, I could see Chris making basically the argument I just made to the rest of Naviti.  “We need to be united, but Domenick’s witch hunt against me only divides us.”  With a bit more time to think, it’s possible Naviti might choose to rally around Chris rather than Domenick.  If so, then Domenick goes at the second post-merge Tribal Council, and we’ve got ourselves a timeline worth talking about!

Regardless of whichever way it happens, a bit part of Chris’ being saved is due to him playing up the “Naviti Strong” trends we saw in our timeline.  Therefore, it would only make sense in the altered timeline if Ghost Island ended up being a pretty straight Pagonging.  Michael, Jenna, Lauren, and Donathan all go out one after another, barring any shenanigans with the split Tribal Council at the final 10, and it’d be tough for them to get the numbers mathematically at that point anyway.  Thus, the Naviti alliance is somehow even MORE dominant in this timeline than in our own.  

While “Naviti Strong” does keep Chris in the game longer, it does create a problem for Chris.  We’ll call it “The Problem of Wendell”.  The issue is that, while Wendell is not as disliked by Chris as Domenick was (Wendell’s opinions on Chris’ rap skills notwithstanding), Wendell’s not exactly happy that Chris knocked out his number one ally.  Wendell, however, probably has the smarts to go the Natalie Anderson (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”) route, and simply fold himself back into the majority, and wait for the time to strike.  Further, Wendell is a threat to Chris just simply running away with immunity all the way to the end, and at some point, Chris would be vulnerable.  Given his relative lack of social capital amongst the Naviti, I’d say it’s fair to assume that Chris goes out at some point.  He makes it farther, and is more of a strategic force, but saving himself with an idol does not win him the season.  

With no competition, then, does Wendell still win the game, just not in quite the same way?  Again, no.  Wendell was great in challenges, but even in our timeline, he wasn’t unbeatable.  He’s more well-liked then Chris, but with no more Malolo to vote out, and no larger physical threats left (save Sebastian, and let’s be honest, Sebastian did not have the puzzle skills to be considered enough of a “challenge threat” to shield Wendell), Wendell becomes a target.  So, who does become the driving force post-merge, then?  Why, the alliance of Kellyn, Desiree, and Chelsea, of course!  Yes, an alliance that existed within our own timeline, only stopped due to Domenick and Wendell outmaneuvering them while they were still stuck on “Naviti Strong”.  Without that pair, and with “Naviti Strong” being even more of the driving force of the post-merge, there’s no reason those three don’t waltz into the final three basically uncontested.  

Of them, I’d be willing to bet that Chelsea wins.  Despite being purpled on our television screens, all post-season interviews indicate that Chelsea was both well-liked by the cast, and a strategic driving force behind the scenes.  Kellyn might have been the face of Naviti, but that doesn’t mean she was as well-liked, and we’ve seen how the “mother” character often doesn’t get the credit they deserve at the end.  

A Chelsea win means there’s a retroactive change to the season, specifically in how it’s edited.  The product we see is COMPLETELY different from the one we get, because production doesn’t try to hide Chelsea’s game.  Far from it, they’d actually try and promote her as this black-widow-esque mastermind in the same vein as Parvati.  It probably wouldn’t work that well.  No disrespect to Chelsea, but unless she had some quality stuff they left on the cutting-room floor (along with her strategic talk), she doesn’t pop off the screen.  Probably remembered as a solid winner strategically, but not one of the most entertaining one’s we’ve ever seen.  Sort of the female equivalent of Tommy in our own timeline.  

THE LEGACY

This season leaves us little to talk about in the way of returnees, mostly because there was only one returnee season that aired after this one, and that was Winners at War.  This may come as a shock, but I don’t think Chelsea was getting the invite.  Again nothing against her, but I don’t see her being an entertaining-enough winner to get the call back.  MAYBE, if she had some really good moments we just didn’t see in our timeline, she could take Michele’s spot, but “Survivor Kaoh Rong” is still probably seen as the better season in our timeline, so all else being equal, I’d give Michele the edge here.  

Of course, this leaves Wendell’s spot on that season open for another guy to come in.  I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Mike Holloway of “Survivor Worlds Apart” ends up filling in that spot.  We know he was considered in our timeline, and likely only dropped because all the slots for men filled up with people production preferred.  With no Wendell in the mix, that’s probably just the opening Mike needs to get in.  That probably changes the course of how that season goes drastically, at least after the swap, but that would also merit a blog all its own, so I’m not going to go into detail here.  

In terms of discourse AROUND the season, however, there’s a couple of big changes.  First and foremost, the discussion around bias against older women becomes even more of a “thing” that it was in our timeline.  People were salty enough at Chrissy’s loss on “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, but now we’ve got two older women, who were good strategic leaders, losing back to back.  Admittedly to different archetypes (I don’t think anyone would say that Ben and Chelsea are at all similar), but still, the conversation around that bias becomes more heated, and there’s a lot more of a drive to give the “older” women a chance.  Probably increases the chances of the likes of Janet on later seasons, since players are not immune to public feedback, particularly those players who follow the online community closely.  

The other effects of the season changing are slightly less notable, but worth at least a mention.  Tie votes at Final Tribal Council, while still a specter over the audience, are not a thing we experience to this day with the change.  Chelsea winning, of course, also slightly decreases the diversity of the winner pool, since we’ve eliminated a black winner in Wendell to put her in instead.  Given that the petition for more diversity in casting didn’t come about until post-COVID, I don’t think this does anything radical like move the timeline for when that happens up, but it is more fuel to the fire.  And finally, this change probably elevates some characters (particular Chelsea and Desiree) to more prominence than they had in our timeline, while Domenick loses some favor conversely, and except for some proposed “Second Chance” ballots, you probably don’t hear about him much in the community.  On the plus side, Wendell stays big enough of a character that his and Brice’s podcasts and parties still happen.  

The big question, as always, is “Does this change make the season better or worse?”  Honestly, in this case, the change probably doesn’t impact how the season is seen overall that much, but if it does, the season comes out looking slightly worse.  The problem is that the real thing that killed this season was the “Naviti Strong” sentiment that no one could overcome, leading to a predictable outcome.  Since that sentiment is only stronger in this timeline, that doesn’t change.  Admittedly this season is less frustrating, since there’s less of a chance for anyone to talk about overthrowing Naviti.  On the other hand, it’s also more boring, since there’s not even a HINT of going against the Pagonging in this timeline.  In addition, as mentioned, we lose out on the tie vote, one of the few things that helps this season stand out from the others.  Given the “girl power” theme of the final three, there’s probably a hard core of fans who love the season for the strategy, but they’re very much a minority.  

Maybe not the most exciting change to talk about first, but I do find it intriguing how different paths can lead to the same feeling.  Then again, perhaps I’m full of it, and got this completely wrong.  Let me know in the comments what you think would happen in a timeline such as this!  In addition, I’m always looking for more timeline changes to blog about, so feel free to submit those there as well.  Rest assured, you will be credited if your request is chosen!  Some general guidelines for submissions to be considered are as follows: 

1. One Change Only: This can’t be a whole bunch of things or multiple things going another way to alter the course of a season.  This must be one singular event that alters the season in some way.  Cascade effects, where one change naturally leads to another, are ok, but they have to be natural and logical.  As an example, Shii-Ann not flipping and Chuay Gahn losing the final 10 immunity challenge on “Survivor Thailand” would definitely change things, but those are two independent changes that need to happen, and therefore not appropriate for this blog.  I should also mention that the change has to be an EVENT, not a play style.  Yes, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” probably goes much differently if Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) isn’t an asshole to everyone, but apart from that never happening, it’s a change in overall play style, not a single moment.  It’s also, as I say, implausible, which leads to my next ground rule…

2. The Change Must Be Realistic: An unlikely change is ok, but it has to be something that COULD have happened, or it’s not worth writing about.  Yes, Fang winning the first immunity challenge on “Survivor Gabon” would drastically change the season.  Would it ever happen?  No.  So there’s no point in writing about it.  

3. The Change Must Have An Impact: By this, I mean the change has to actually alter the season in some significant way.  Simply changing up the boot order is not enough.  Someone new has to win, the perception of the season has to change, or both.  As an example, I originally planned to do a blog on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, with a timeline where Candice didn’t flip at the final 9.  I thought this could lead to a Heroes victory.  Then I remembered that Russell Hantz plays his idol in that same episode, meaning the flip most likely doesn’t matter, and apart from a slight boot order change, the season as a whole remains untouched.  Uninteresting, and therefore not worth talking about.  

In addition to these hard-and-fast guidelines, there are also what I call “Flexible Guidelines”.  As the name would imply, these can be bent with a compelling arguments, but they are things that should be borne in mind when suggesting new situations to examine:

4. US Seasons Only: This is nothing against international seasons of “Survivor”.  From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, they can be quite good.  The trouble is, as a citizen on the US, the US version of “Survivor” is the one I’m most familiar with, know the most about, and have seen the most of.  I haven’t even seen a full international season of “Survivor”, just the occasional clip.  Nothing knocking them, of course.  I just haven’t gotten around to viewing them.  So, while I won’t outright ban the suggesting of changes from non-US seasons of “Survivor”, bear in mind that I’m unlikely to pick them due to a lack of knowledge and lack of time to catch up on the seasons.  

5. I Will Not Do Brandon Flipping At The Africa Final 9: A flip by Brandon Quinton at the Final 9 of “Survivor Africa”, voting out Lex instead of Kelly, would indeed fit all the criteria mentioned above.  I’m refusing this particular scenario, not because it isn’t interesting or worth talking about, but because it was already covered by Mario Lanza in his book “When it Was Worth Playing For”.  He covered it so well and so thoroughly that I don’t think I would have anything to add.  I’m willing to consider this scenario if someone can give me a compelling reason that Mario is wrong, or there’s some aspect he didn’t consider, but until that time, this scenario is out.  Other “Survivor Africa” scenarios are ok, though.

6. Try Not To Repeat Seasons: This is by far the most flexible of the flexible guidelines, particularly as many seasons have multiple inflection points with a fascinating change to dissect.  However, to prevent a lot of repetition, I try and prioritize scenarios from a season I haven’t done a “What-If?” on yet, over ones that I’ve already covered one scenario on.  You can feel free to submit scenarios for seasons I’ve already looked at, but bear in mind that I’m unlikely to cover them until I’m out of ideas for “What-Ifs?” on seasons I haven’t done yet.  For reference, at the time of this writing, I have done scenarios from the following seasons: Africa, Marquesas, Pearl Islands, All-Stars, Palau, Guatemala, Exile Island, Micronesia, Gabon, Samoa, Heroes vs. Villains, Redemption Island, One World, Philippines, Blood vs. Water, Game Changers, Ghost Island, Island of the Idols.

It’s good to be back writing for y’all!  Look forward to more to come!

-Matt

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 12: Little Ozlettes

Congratulations to user bwburke94 for correctly identifying last episode’s blog title as coming courtesy of Devon Pinto of “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new show topper. As befits a “Legends” season such as this, we have referenced an element of seasons past, but done it to a greater extreme than we have in the past. I’m talking, of course, about the area of romance. We’ve seen the loving relationship between Boston Rob and Amber develop of the course of “Survivor All-Stars”. We’ve seen the multiple PDA’s of Amanda and Ozzy on “Survivor Micronesia”. We’ve seen countless contestants, as Malcolm Freberg so eloquently put it on “Survivor Philippines”, “Go booty blind.” But now, we have a love story to trump them all. I’m talking, of course, about the romance blooming between Ben and Tony. Look at them, ladies and gentleman! That is a full-on bridal carry we’re seeing from the happy couple! If that isn’t the epitome of love, I don’t know what is!

Don’t believe me? Despite being blindsided at the last vote, Ben takes everything in stride. He compliments Tony on a blindside well put-together, and asks for an explanation. While Ben does later admit to not trusting Tony, this is actually about as good a reaction overall, and I need to give the guy credit for it. Lord knows Jeremy won’t. The man once again goes on about how Ben was once his ride-or-die, but is now not even talking to him. Tony also gets in on the action, saying that Ben took the blindside poorly. Is there just something we’re not seeing here? From what I’m getting, it looks like Ben is a pretty textbook example of how to handle a blindside.

Contrast with Sarah, who clearly shows us how NOT to handle a blindside. Sarah tells us that before talking to Tony, she told herself to calm down and not fly of the handle. This is immediately contrasted with her constant swearing, along with her and Tony talking over each other heatedly. While neither burns the bridge completely, as both want to continue working with the other, neither fully trusts the other at this point. This sends Tony in particular into a panic, forcing him to come clean to Ben about his idol to build trust. Ben admits that he doesn’t fully return Tony’s trust, but isn’t ready to throw him out just yet. Jeremy needs to go first.

Speaking of Jeremy, we get to see more of Ben’s supposed “hatred” of him the following morning. Jeremy asks Ben how he slept. Ben responds “Good”, and goes to have a wash in the ocean. Jeremy complains to Kim, along with pretty much anyone within earshot, about how this means that Ben can’t stand him, let alone hold a polite conversation! The evidence is there to see! He… answered your question then went off to do something that’s a part of many people’s morning routines… Ok, Jeremy, I’m really not getting the “Ben hates you.” vibe you’re saying is there. Maybe it’s just because of how obvious his animosity was towards Adam back when Adam was still in the game, but it really seems like Ben is at worst indifferent to Jeremy. Jeremy tries to set Kim on the anti-Ben path, but Kim has other ideas. Kim is still not happy to have Tony in the game, especially given the connection between him and Sarah that is becoming more obvious by the day. As such, she wants him gone, and so starts talking up the idea to some people.

More on that later, though, as we have to go over to the Edge of Extinction! Yes, why delve deeper into the tribe dynamics of the players still in the game, particularly when they aren’t named Tony, when we could talk about the people who managed to get themselves voted out! Hell, we don’t even spend any time on the “toughness” of Edge of Extinction, as we’re too busy earning fire tokens. In a callback to the log-moving challenge which Ethan makes blatant, everyone must move a pile of coconuts from the back of the island to their shelter, one coconut at a time. Not a bad challenge to call back to, but this one is a definite downgrade. While I get making the challenge easier by removing the vertical element, since it cause medical to come out for Ethan, making it a race is a move I can’t get behind. When you had the focus be on endurance, you could follow individual stories, and get involved in the individual struggles as each player worked to accomplish the goal. By making it a race, the interest now comes in who’s ahead and behind, something hard to follow in a marathon, particularly one without clearly defined paths to follow. As such, we’re mostly told who is and isn’t doing well, with some individual stories sprinkled in there. Adam, of course, acknowledges that he is not cut out for this challenge, though the show feels the need to rub salt in the wound by cutting back to him having trouble over and over. One confessional would have been enough. Boston Rob gets an early lead, but manages to take a bad fall and damage his elbow, causing no small amount of bleeding. Still, the man finishes the challenge, even if he doesn’t place. According to him and Amber, this is to show that he “never gives up”. Because that was ever in doubt? Natalie and Sophie finish first and second, respectively. Unsurprising for Natalie at this point, but good for Sophie. Yes, she had a few challenge wins under her belt from “Survivor South Pacific”, and yes, she was probably better fed than most anyone left, but even so, a second place finish is quite impressive, especially over some of the athletes on the Edge of Extinction. Yul comes in third, while Tyson and Parvati take a combined fourth place. The only real “race” is between Danni and Wendell for sixth, which Wendell takes. All winners earn two fire tokens, which is good for them, but I feel that better scenes could have been had back at the camp.

Or perhaps not, as what we’re treated to at the Koru camp is Tony’s advertised “Spy Nest”. It’s underwhelming to say the least. Even if you’re not a big fan of the Spy Shack or the Spy Bunker, you can at least admire the effort that went into making them. The “Spy Nest” is… Tony climbing a tree. A decent feat of strength, to be sure, but not on the same level as the previously mentioned spy hideouts. To add insult to injury, the only person we see him encounter is Sarah, who knows that he’s there, and tells him to get down. He does, but the two still have an argument on the beach regarding the previous vote. Nick overhears this, and takes it as his cue to start whittling down the threats, and make an end-game alliance for himself. Said end-game alliance turns out to be himself, Michele, and Denise, a sort of “level playing field” as Michele calls it. Got to admit, the alliance isn’t a bad idea of any of them. Since the alliance is fundamentally anti-Tony, it gives Nick and Michele something to boast about in the endgame, while giving Denise a chance to coast, and hope her ouster of Sandra is enough to net her the win. They bring in Kim and Ben as a fourth and fifth, mostly because of also being anti-Tony. This ramps up the strategy discussion, as pretty much everyone but Jeremy and Sarah (and Tony, of course) is now on board to get rid of Tony. Nick in particular is an impressive swing. I’d have said Sarah before Tony, given who he’s blindsided and not blindsided so far. But hey, kudos to Nick for not being too tied down in this game.

This interesting strategy is then interrupted by an idol hunt. Again. Maybe the people who complain about idols have a point. At first it just seems like a Tony and Ben hunt, but then most everyone else joins in. I must admit, while this episode does not have the same humor as the last one, Nick returning to a significant knot in a tree and saying “It’ll be here one of these days.” got a chuckle out of me. We do take time out of the hunt to clarify Ben’s position on Tony. While Ben does open up a bit more to Tony, saying that Kim his after him, he doesn’t give away the whole alliance, showing that he’s willing to work with Tony, but doesn’t fully trust him. This is further proven by Ben trying to hide his idol find from Tony, which doesn’t work. Ben comes clean, and the pair celebrate, the actual reason behind the aforementioned “bridal carry”. So help me, I already used the “chocolate and peanut butter” quote for a previous blog, and the “Ozlettes” confessional is one of my favorites! I just had to use it!

Oh, right, I suppose I should explain how the chocolate and peanut butter thing plays in. Our immunity hallenge today is “When it Rains, it Pours” from “Survivor Africa”. you may remember this as the challenge where people have to stand with their hand above their head, and attached to a bucket. Falling or dropping the hand leads to a soaking, with the last person standing winning immunity, and in this case, fire tokens. Also, the last man and woman standing each win immunity Because that makes so much sense this late in the game, and in now way detracts from the victory. Still, this challenge is a classic we hadn’t seen in a while, and definitely deserving of being on an all-winners season. Shame none of the people who’d played this challenge before could play, but oh well.

Ah, but this challenge is tougher, for you see, now you cannot support yourself with your other hand! OOOH! Ok, to be fair, this definitely DOES make the challenge tougher, I just don’t think it’s quite the game changer Probst does.

Of course, this challenge is best known as one that regularly offers food temptations. Ben requests chocolate and peanut butter, though he does not go full Jenna Morasca and Heidi Strobel and offer to strip for it. Indeed, Ben misses out, with Kim and Michele stepping down. This hands Denise immunity as Sarah had previously dropped. As for the men, the temptation is there for both Nick and Tony, the two men left. Tony, however, is determined to continue his win streak, and Nick’s drop out is bought at the price of one fire token. A move he will later regret, but it’s too late to take back. This, once again, means our first episode half is almost entirely focussed on Tony, and once again, is mostly pointless. Now to be fair, this episode does do a much better job than the last one, as there ARE plot points already established that don’t specifically revolve around Tony. Jeremy and Ben’s feud, along with the formation of the Nick-Michele-Denise alliance are both such points, and both help buoy this episode up. Plus, I can’t fault the show for focussing on Tony, since he is such a big character.

Really, my issue with the Tony focus this episode is less because it makes for a bad episode or because it’s undeserved, but really because it’s a disservice to everyone else left. Look, Tony is a big character, even an enjoyable one, but to focus on him to the exclusion of others is really a detriment. As “Survivor Samoa” demonstrated, it takes more than one player to make for a good season. And while the other players have their moments in their own right, it feels at times like there’s Tony, and then there’s everyone else. Part of that is just sheer energy level. It’s hard to compete with Tony in that department. The issue is not with showing Tony. The issue is with showing him to the exclusion of everyone else. This is a LEGENDS season. These are all great players. We should be getting ALL their highlights. Despite my earlier comparison to “Survivor Samoa”, I think “Survivor Ghost Island” might be the more apt comparison here. You see, “Survivor Samoa” had a weak cast overall, so it made sense to focus more on Russell Hantz than anyone else. “Survivor Ghost Island” had an interesting cast throughout, but instead mostly focussed on Wendell and Domenick to the exclusion of all others. Again, this is a LEGENDS season. These people must be giving you some good bits. You can still show the highlights of Tony, but give us more from the others so it doesn’t just feel like “The Tony Show” all the time. Some people aren’t that big on Tony, or at least want some variety in the show. Not to mention, if you keep teasing the “Tony’s antics catch up with him plot” only for that not to happen, there’s a feeling of letdown. Further, this limits your storyline to one of two outcomes: Either Tony wins, in which case the focus on him makes sense, but makes your conclusion way too obvious (“Survivor Ghost Island” at least had the benefit of some mystery of who would win out between Domenick and Wendell), or Tony loses, and this plotline is being dragged out at the expense of the other players.

Ok, ok, rant over. There’s actually good stuff in this episode, so let’s talk about it. With Tony immune Nick and Kim admit that their plan to get him out is now “on the back burner.” As such, they must decide on a new target. Sarah would be the obvious choice, but Kim has a bond with Sarah, and so doesn’t want her to go. Thus, we default to Jeremy, who seems to be the consensus boot. Only Michele expresses any disappointment at needing to vote him out, and as she herself admits, there’s not a lot she can do. We need misdirection, though, and in comes Tony to provide. Ben opens up to Tony a bit more, and admits that Nick was in on the plan to get him out. He also says that Kim is still rallying the troops. Tony does the logical thing and checks in with Nick, who gives the worst performance of the episode, feigning a memory lapse as to why he didn’t talk to Tony. He lets his alliance know about Ben’s slip, but the damage is done. Tony wants Kim out, which he pitches to Jeremy, naturally, but also Ben and Sarah. This… is actually a really smart move on Tony’s part. While Ben is a part of Kim’s alliance, he also has somewhat of a relationship with Tony. And even if he doesn’t want to work with Tony down the road, voting out Kim would effectively give him her place in the alliance, and keep around another player (Jeremy) who can compete with Tony in challenges. If you’re Sarah, well, Tony’s your ally, and thus voting out the player continually targeting him is a good move. Unlike last episode, where there’s room for debate about whether this was a smart or a dumb on Tony’s part, this is clearly a smart. About the only person who might be upset at the ouster of Kim would be Denise, who has a history of not caring if her allies get the axe. Thus, no bridges burnt, unlike last episode.

That said, there’s only four, and Nick’s not budging on voting for Jeremy. Jeremy, for his part, tries to talk Ben around, but to no avail. Salvation seems to come in the form of Michele’s 50/50 advantage, which she gives to Jeremy. A bit of a risk, since she might need it next episode, but again, Michele doesn’t have much incentive to keep Kim around, and if it buys her another close ally (albeit one without any real power) so much the better. Whether or not Jeremy will play it is our mystery as we head off to Tribal Council. Once again, it’s a whisperfest, though one done better than the previous couple we’ve had. There are two key reasons why. One is Probst’s horse-race-like commentary as people start getting up, which was brief, but hilarious. More importantly, we actually get subtitles this time around, thus making the whispering easy to follow. We’re left in the dark on some specifics, to keep up the mystery, but we get a general sense of the movement. Tony is a bit too blaze in talking to Jeremy about doing something, which makes Kim paranoid and start double-checking with everybody. Soon Jeremy and Tony are doing the same, which leads to paranoia about a Sarah vote, and Sarah begging for an idol play. This also brings into focus that Nick and Ben are our swing votes tonight, which will help make the result clearer in a bit. Not the most exciting Tribal Council ever, but a fun, clear journey for once, and brought to a fantastic bookend with Denise shutting everyone up, in a tone that clearly says “I’m about order, and I’ve had enough of this mess.” That said I do have to dock Denise points since it does seem to piss off Jeremy.

In a contrast to our last standoff, no one actually plays an advantage. Tony announces his idol (I’d say Tony did a dumb by revealing that he has an idol, but from what I can gather from the conversations we heard, it was already public knowledge), and intends to play it for Sarah, but Sarah talks him down. Jeremy nearly plays the 50/50 advantage, even getting egged on by Tony, but decides not to. Since we saw even Michele vote for him, I figure this dooms him. Jeremy must have known something we didn’t, though, as he only receives three votes, Kim going home with five. It’s not entirely clear how it happened, but given that Nick and Ben were presented as the swing votes, I’d say they flipped to the side they were more confidant in. Tony may be chaotic, but he is good at projecting the image of confidence, and sometimes on “Survivor”, that’s enough. Kim may not have been the biggest character this season, but she was one of the titans in terms of gameplay from her first season, and that ouster deserves respect. She may never have had a foothold in this game, but like Aubry on “Survivor Game Changers” it’s impressive that she made it this far at all. She splits her three fire tokens between Denise, Sarah, and Michele. Classy.

This season is getting better, though I’m still not satisfied. We’re seeing more of the other players, but overall this still feels like “The Tony Show”. Don’t get me wrong, “The Tony Show” is definitely entertaining, but I came to see “Survivor Winners at War”. I would like to see more people than just Tony. As such, it’s time for another…

TOP 10!

Yes, I normally do “Top 5 and Bottom 5”, but this list does not lend itself to looking at the negatives well. You see, we’ve had a couple of memorable exits this season. From Adam’s “Always” to Sophie’s crotch idol, these people have had exits that stick with us. Granted, Kim’s is not winning any awards, but the next two episodes are extra long, and I’ve been mulling this subject over for a few weeks, so let’s talk about the best exits the show has ever seen.

A couple of ground-rules before we start. One exit per season. I don’t want this list to half come from the current season. “Exit” in this case will refer to anything that happens between Probst saying “I’ll read the votes” and Probst’s final words of wisdom (or fire token willing, if need be). Anything else in that area (idol plays, exit confessionals, Probst’s words of wisdom) deserve lists of their own, and thus will not be considered. Also not considered will be the context of the vote out itself. This is purely the reaction to the votes being read, and the torch snuffing. Only proper vote outs will count. No impromptu Tribal Councils, quits, or Advantagegeddons will be considered. Finally, the reaction can come from anybody, not just the person being voted out. Other than that, anything goes, including placement of the player voted out. No separate lists for first and last vote outs or anything. Let’s get things started with…

10. “No.” (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”)-First entry on the list, and already I’m cheating. Yes, technically idol plays are not considered here, and most of what makes the elimination of Scot Pollard interesting is centered around an immunity idol. That said, the idol was never actually played, and the interaction that makes this so memorable did happen in the time frame specified. With Scot and Jason being such cocky villains, seeing them taken down a peg is just so satisfying. Their looks of dejection just make this a very satisfying exit to watch. Plus, there is hilarity in seeing Probst dwarfed by a contestant. I keep it this low since it more a reaction to a lack of an idol play than a vote, but still a fun moment nonetheless.

9. “I’ve been Bamboozled!” (“Survivor All-Stars”)-From the beginning of “Survivor All-Stars”, it was clear that Richard Hatch had zero cares. He knew he wasn’t going to win, and so was just there to screw with everybody. And what better way to cap it off than with an obviously-faked over the top surprise reaction to a vote he knew was coming? The man even did a little dance on his way out of Tribal Council. Always good for bonus points. It goes a little over-the-top for my taste, but still enjoyable nonetheless.

8. “ONE MINUTE!” (“Survivor Exile Island”)-I was tempted to put the ouster of Dan from this season in this spot, but that one really requires the context of the whole episode to have meaning. Instead, we turn to Shane. Not exactly the most “stable” of contestants, you knew when Shane’s time came, it wasn’t going to go quietly. Sure enough, Shane gave us his characteristic outburst upon leaving, turning back from Probst to rub it in everyone’s faces about how he was going to be eating an ice cream bar soon. Delightfully childish, though admittedly somewhat subdued by Shane’s standards. I expected him to mock the votes as well, and this comparatively underwhelming performance prevents the admittedly memorable final line pre-torch-snuff from landing higher on the list.

7. “DAYUM!” (“Survivor China”)-In most of these cases, the longer the reaction, the better. It’s not enough in most cases to give a pre-snuff speech. You need to talk through the votes as well, or at least have a conversation. Sometimes, though, all it takes is a word, and less is more. Chicken’s “DAYUM” is one well-remembered throughout the “Survivor” fandom, and iconic enough on it’s own to need no further embellishment. Simple and clean is the way that this reaction is.

6. “At least you made the jury.” (“Survivor Cambodia”)-I’m no fan of Abi-Maria’s, but when her snark is directed at a full-of-himself Andrew Savage, I’m much more ok with her. While this is technically related to an idol play, Savage still reacted to the votes with despair, and took his eviction of very few votes with his usual grace and maturity. And by that, I mean he had a bit of a silent tantrum, even flipping off the remaining players as he left. Not very classy, but satisfying to see Savage brought so low after being so high-and-mighty most of the game. If an exit can make me like Abi-Maria, then you know it’s a good one.

5. “Two ‘B’s’ Guys” (“Survivor Thailand”)-Ah, now we get into people commenting on the votes as well as the result. Admittedly, a lot of the impact of the boot of Robb Zbacnik comes from the character development he had gotten over the course of the show. Even without it, though, there’s humor to be found in his need to call out every spelling mistake made with his name. Every. Single. Time. Apparently, the name “Robb” with two “B’s” was just too much for the Sook Jai tribe. Robb, if your reading this, take comfort in that I remembered the second “b” in your name.

4. “Sheep to the Slaughter” (“Survivor Game Changers”)-Tony is known for never shutting up. Sandra is known for never taking an insult lying down. Put these two together, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a memorable exit. Tony’s declaration of the idiocy of his tribemates is nothing new, but Sandra’s need to taunt him as he exits elevates this to a knew level. To use the old cliche, they argue like a married couple. Plus, this was the birth of “Queen stays Queen”, and it deserves respect for that.

3. “Who flipped?” (“Survivor Cagayan”)-Ah yes. Perhaps the most iconic post-vote conversation to come out of the latter half of “Survivor”. You knew Sarah’s boot was going to be on the list somewhere. Tony’s over-the-top reaction to the outcome and imitation of Spencer made this one memorable on its own, but it had so many other great moments. Sarah’s simple inquiry as to who flipped, leading to the slow realization that Kass was here for the Chaos. Spencer’s iconic “0 chance of winning the game.” remark. Kass’ flippant “There’s a lot of game left.” response. All iconic, and all worthy of a spot on this list. The only reason it isn’t higher is because it kind of leaves an unpleasant aftertaste, given the vitriol occasionally directed at Kass.

2. Penner’s Dance (“Survivor Philippines”)-Forgive me for stating the blindingly obvious, but Jonathan Penner does not take anything seriously, least of all his third exit from “Survivor”. Not content with merely mocking Probst, Penner decided to mock the music as well. Dancing his way out of Tribal Council ia always a plus, but he (badly) tried to whistle the usual music that plays over an exit. Then, just when you think he’s gone. He comes back again. And again! Hilarity! It even left Probst at a loss for words; that’s bonus points! So, what keeps it from the top spot? The way it was shot. I know shooting in the dark is hard, but it’s REALLY hard to see Penner’s dance once he gets on the trail out of Tribal Council. I only really saw the full thing in edited pictures with the exposure changed. That made it funny, but shouldn’t be necessary for full enjoyment. That said, there was also his refusal of a hug from Abi-Maria which gets my respect. And yes, this entry is why Sarah Dawson’s kiss didn’t make the list. Had I allowed multiple entries from the same season, it would have been on here for sure.

1. “Scumbags” (“Survivor Guatemala”)-Maybe it’s just my love for “Survivor Guatemala” bleeding through, but this to me is the quintessential “Pissed Off” exit. No rage. Nor breaking of things. No gnashing of teeth. Just quiet, cold fury. You don’t need to see Judd’s rage. you can feel it through your tv screen. All all delivered in the trademark Judd style. Admittedly, no “man” in there, but you can’t have everything. Still iconic nonetheless.

And with that said, it is time to end off this blog. But it is not the end for you! Once again, I’m looking to see who can figure who said the quote this blog draws its title from and the season! Simply comment the name of the person who said this quote, and on what season! First person to do so gets their username listed at the top of the blog. As a reminder, U.S. seasons only, so don’t overtax yourself, and I’ll see you next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: Updated Season Rankings

Happy New Year, everybody! We can hope for a lot of things in 2020, but one thing is certain: “Survivor” will air its 40th season, leading to a grand total of 20 years on the air so far. For good and for ill, and whatever problems the current incarnation of the show may have, this is no small feat. As such, it should be commemorated, making it the perfect excuse to bring you all my updated season rankings! I’d been wanting to do this for a while, so I’m very happy to present you with my subjective opinion on how each season compares to the others. Some of the answers may surprise you.

Before we begin, however, I should note a slight change from the last time I did these. Before, I divided seasons into overall categories within the rankings, and I intend to do so again. However, I’ve added a fourth category in there as well. Rather than explain to you these categories as they come up, I’m going to explain what each general category means overall, then just present the seasons in that category as we make our way up the list. In ascending order, the categories are as follows:

The Bad-Contrary to what the name might indicate, this name does not mean the seasons as a whole are bad overall. Even if they were, “Survivor” is often in another category compared to most scripted television, so even these seasons can be better than a lot of what comes on. These are just the seasons that don’t work for whatever reason, and that I really have no desire to watch again.

The Ugly-Our new category, this one was made in the wake of “Survivor Island of the Idols”. Sad though it is to say, we now have enough seasons with socially controversial elements to merit their own category. The quality of these seasons varies, and were it not for said controversial element, could end up anywhere on the list. I wouldn’t feel right putting them low on the list just because of these elements, but wouldn’t feel right putting them high because of the presence of these elements. As such, they get their own separate category that keeps them low, but acknowledges that the seasons themselves may or may not have redemptive elements.

The Good-This is pretty much standard “Survivor” fare that people would come to expect. Seasons that are not stand-out on their own, or have some sort of problem keeping them from being truly great, but are still enjoyable, and I wouldn’t mind the occasional rewatch.

The Great-As you would expect, these are the seasons that are fantastic. They elevate the game, are engaging and entertaining, or all of the above. They are legendary, the ones that to me scream “Survivor”, and that I never get tired of rewatching.

Well, with that business out of the way, let us waste no more time, and start talking about how the seasons stack up! There will, of course, be spoilers for these seasons, so tread with caution if you are not up to date on “Survivor” history.

THE BAD

39. “Survivor Edge of Extinction”: Yes, the bottom spot has finally been usurped by a recent season, after “Survivor Fiji” reigned king for so long, seemingly never to be dethroned. But for all my gripes about “Survivor Fiji”, I will at least say this: it served a purpose. There was a reason for us to follow the entire journey. The win of Chris Underwood means that this cannot be said for “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. Now, don’t misunderstand, Chris is by no means a bad winner in and of himself. He seems like a perfectly nice guy, and he did play extremely well following winning his way back into the game. Nor would I say that Chris’ win is illegitimate due to the “Edge of Extinction” twist. We as an audience may not like it, but that alone does not mean it was not a part of the game to be utilized. By all accounts, Chris utilized it well, building bonds with his fellow players there that ultimately earned him the jury vote. No, the problem that Chris’ win creates is that it makes the season retroactively pointless. Pretty much everything we see on screen that led to his win happened IN THE LAST FREAKING EPISODE! Oh, his entire game up until that point HAD an impact on his victory, but since “Edge of Extinction” got maybe 5 minutes out of an episode, and most of that devoted to the scavenger hunt of the day, we never got to see it. That makes “Survivor Edge of Extinction” pointless to watch. If I can get everything I need to know about the season out of the last episode, why should I bother to watch it. Even if you’re generous and say that you need to watch the first three episodes where Chris was in the game, that’s still only about 1/3 of the episodes that actually contribute to the overall story. Look, I get that the producers were in a bit of a spot with “Edge of Extinction”. They couldn’t show us too much of it, for fear that it would give away that someone returning to the game would win, but by not showing us enough, we don’t really follow what Chris did to win. Rather than feeling like a journey to the end, this season felt like it was a waste of time. I could complain about other aspects of this season that really did it no favors. Everything from how Chris had no risk in his game while on “Edge of Extinction” to the emphasis on returnees and Rick Devans at the expense of pretty much everyone else, to even the underwhelming challenges, but really, the pointlessness says it all for me. If 2/3 of your episodes don’t contribute to your story, what’s the point in me watching them?

38. “Survivor Fiji”: Just because this season has had it’s long standing title of “Worst season ever” usurped doesn’t mean my opinion of it has gone up. It’s just that the winner did have to be at risk for most of the game, and did have a journey we got to follow, so by definition it is not the worst. But MAN, does this season have issues. I’m willing to forgive a poor twist idea (such as the Outcasts from “Survivor Pearl Islands”) if it was an obvious idea that had to be tried at least once, but “Haves vs. Have-Nots” was not such a twist. It was a dumb question no one asked, but had an obvious answer: the Haves will kick the butt of the Have-Nots because people who aren’t starving and dehydrated tend to be better competitors than those who are. But that alone is not “Survivor Fiji”’s only problem. The cast, as a whole, is forgettable. With the exception of one or two names, I really can’t remember who was on this season. As you’d imagine, this is not a good thing. Yau-Man is really the only person I would say who stands out from the cast, and he was so obviously marketed as the breakout star of the cast that I just had an adverse reaction to him on principle. But the kicker for me, though, is the manner of eviction for Michelle Yi, which I would argue is the most unfair eviction in “Survivor” History. If you’re going to do a Tribal Council with no strategizing beforehand, fine. Not a huge fan of the idea, but I can understand the principle. But then, don’t immediately throw out the idea by having a line of questioning DESIGNED to make a target clear to everyone. Ugh, Michelle may not be the person I most want to see play again, but I’d argue she’s the most deserving of a second chance. The cherry on top of an already terrible sundae that is this season.

37. “Survivor Redemption Island”: Lots of fans have this as the worst season ever, and frankly, I have a hard time arguing against the idea. While I don’t think much on “Survivor” is sacrosanct, I am of the opinion that the doctrine of “Once the decision is made, the decision is final.” is, and should therefore not be violated. Any season with a theme centered around violating this doctrine is on my bad side automatically. This season is not helped by the fact that the returnees, Boston Rob and Russell, were clearly designed to dominate this season. The twist favored them, and a lot of the cast favored them as well, to the point that, even though the season was not pointless, it felt that way, since the victory of Boston Rob was presented as just that inevitable. It’s a slog to get through, there’s no denying that, but apart from “Redemption Island” itself, there’s no production aspect that makes me want to tear my hear out. Plus, we get to see Russell finally voted out, and be very ungracious about it as well, which is a minor redemptive factor no season on this list has so far.

36. “Survivor One World”: Similar to “Survivor Redemption Island”, the big flaw here is just that one person so dominates the show that there’s no mystery as to who the victor is. Kim Spradlin is my first correct winner guess, though that’s not saying much, considering she was leagues ahead of pretty much everyone else on the season in terms of gameplay. Like Boston Rob, she dominated to the point where there was no enjoyment, since the outcome was virtually a given from the beginning. The fact that it was fresh blood dominating, rather than someone on their fourth try, made it somewhat more impressive, and the lack of “Redemption Island” also helped make the season slightly better. I’ll even say that I like the idea of the “One World” twist, and think it needs another shot. Really, the drawback this time was the reuse of the “gender division” twist, since it created such animosity that the tribes didn’t work together to build one camp. I get that it made it easier to remember who was on what tribe, but that’s what buffs are for. Try it again with mixed-gender tribes, I say. You might get different results. As it stands, “Survivor One World” gave us the rise of a great strategist, but that’s about it. Plus, Colton Cumbie. There’s another mark in the “minus” column.

35. “Survivor Nicaragua”: Unlike the first three entries on this list, there was nothing about “Survivor Nicaragua” that made it have to be this bad. Granted, like “Haves vs. Have Nots” twist, this season dividing the tribes by age had an obvious outcome (the young kick the butt of the old), but was an obvious idea that had to be tried at least once. The cast was not inherently unexciting either. However, unpleasantness quickly crept into the season, with the contestant with a prosthetic leg getting picked on, and a lot of bullying in general. When you have two members of the dominant alliance quit nearly 30 days into the season, though, you’re in trouble. Whatever the behind-the-scenes reasons may be, the fact is that to the audience, it looked like they wimped out, especially when the left on the heels of the major strategists of the season getting eliminated. The event was awful, but the timing was worse. Culminating in frankly an idiot winning out in the end, this season basically just collapsed in on itself, and is really disappointing, given its potential.

34. “Survivor Samoa”: Do you like Russell Hantz? No? Well too bad, because that’s all you’re getting! Innovative though he was to the game (idol hunting without a clue wasn’t a thing before him), the fact is that it’s hard for one character alone to carry a season. Note the failure of seasons like “Survivor One World” and “Survivor Redemption Island”, who also had one character dominate above others. When that character is Russell Hantz, who is, shall we say, controversial, you’ve got an issue with your season. I’m not saying that Russell shouldn’t have been prominent, since he was a major driving force of the season. I’m saying that he shouldn’t have been so to the exclusion of the other players. Can you actually remember anything about any of the other players of the season? Apart from Russell Swan nearly dying, and Shambo being random, I’m guessing not. Some characters will rise to prominence above others, but “Survivor”, at its core, is an ensemble show. When you don’t have that, the season just fails. I will give credit, though, that this season does have something for everyone. If you like Russell, this is the season for you. If, like me, you hate him, the season is nearly impossible to get through, but that comeuppance at the end is oh so sweet.

THE UGLY

33. “Survivor Game Changers”: When I was putting seasons into this new category, I had to decide whether to rank these seasons as seasons, or based on how awful their controversial element was. To a greater or lesser degree, all these seasons are defined by their awful element, but in the end, I felt it would be a disservice not to talk about the season as a whole. And man, even without the whole Varner/Zeke incident, this season did not have legs, and I’m not even talking about the usual complaints. I for one, while not happy with the boot order, did not find it as awful as others did, and I even forgive Advantagegeddon to a certain degree. True, I wish that production put in less idols and advantages, but to be fair, people had chances to play most of them beforehand, and at least one play was based on social manipulation (Aubry had to convince Tai to play an idol for her, after all). Still, production is largely to blame for what makes this season so weak overall. The editing is garbage, making certain characters, including one of the final three, all but invisible, ON A RETURNEE SEASON! THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN ON A RETURNEE SEASON! For production’s second sin, we have the twists. In my opinion, returnee seasons should have the FEWEST twists of any other season, since returning players alone should be a draw. Maybe add ONE new game-shake-up in order to keep them on their toes, but no more than that. Instead, every two or three episodes, something new came in that the players had never dealt with before. What this led to was an unstable season. No status quo could be set up, thus giving the shake-up less impact and making the season hard to follow. And, if our favorites aren’t going to get as much screentime, why should we follow it?

32. “Survivor Worlds Apart”: I almost didn’t put this season in this category, since the controversial element is borderline at best. However, when I think back on this season, what I remember is the bullying of Shirin, and in particular the comments made by Will Sims II. While maybe not to the same scale as some of these other issues, to me, bullying is up there with some of the worst offenses, and so it goes on this list. The season as a whole? Not great. There were big characters, certainly, but most of them were more unpleasant than anything, which is not something we want to watch, as a whole. The strategy was mediocre at best, and the “Collars” twist was forced and added nothing to the show. Mike winning his way to the end via immunity was a nice novelty, but again, not the most compelling television, and unfortunately I think the network was staking a lot of the goodwill towards the season on people liking him. Mike wasn’t the worst, but he had his cocky moments, and so never really fully fit the “hero” archetype. There wasn’t really any one big problem with “Survivor Worlds Apart”, but the general unpleasantness with nothing to distract from it just drags down the season as a whole.

31. “Survivor Thailand”: “Survivor Thailand” is a bit of an oddity for me. I love the aesthetic, and I love just how thoroughly winner Brian Heidik dominated the game. It has that “classic era” feel that just makes me want to love it. But the fact is that “Grindgate” is the main thing that comes to mind when one thinks of this season, and the politics over how it was resolved were controversial at the time. In the modern day? Downright insulting. Our first straight Pagonging since “Survivor Borneo” didn’t help things either. The cast overall was pretty cool, but a lot of the more interesting players went before the jury phase, and again, the outcome was so obvious that it made the season more of a slog than a journey. A slow trek through the slime few would want to take again.

30. “Survivor All-Stars”: Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I think people are a bit hard on this season. As someone who had only seen “Survivor Borneo”, “Survivor The Australian Outback”, and “Survivor Pearl Islands” before this season aired, this season got me pumped to find out about the players I had never seen before, and it was refreshing to see my favorites back again. I think a lot of people’s problem is that they try and judge this season as if it were any other season of “Survivor”. I try to judge it as a tribute to the previous seven seasons, and it fits a lot better. The producers throw a lot of things at the players, but no so much that it overwhelms seeing them again, and a lot of the design tributes and challenge tributes work very well. That said, this season has fallen the farthest of any season since my previous rankings, and it’s all due to how uncomfortable this season can be. Apart from people taking things EXTREMELY personally, there’s the fact that the Richard/Sue incident at the immunity challenge before Richard’s elimination has REALLY not aged well, and is a highlight of how producers mishandled such situations even back then. A fun tribute, but little else going for it.

29. “Survivor Island of the Idols”: For me, this is the season hurt the most by its controversy. This season was never going to be a top-tier season, just due to how disjointed the post-merge game was, but it had a lot going for it. The cast as a whole was well-developed and likable, with a good mix of characters and strategists. The pre-merge was incredibly exciting, with nary a boring episode in the lot. Even the “Island of the Idols” twist wasn’t too bad, and occasionally even brought some much-needed levity to the episodes. I applaud the producers for not over-using the idea. That said, the producers must now be lambasted by their overall poor handling of the Kellee/Dan situation. True, they got better by the time of the reunion, but the fact remains that, when we think back on this season, we’ll think back on the controversy, which is just not fun to think about. I hope this cast comes back for better seasons, since they do deserve it. As it stands, I cannot rank the season higher than this.

THE GOOD

28. “Survivor San Juan del Sur”: “Survivor San Juan del Sur” is a weird one for me. It’s just kind of there. Not bad enough for me to dislike it, but not good enough to produce strong feelings for me. Every good point is counterbalanced by a bad point. We reused the “Blood vs. Water” twist, but also got the return of “Exile Island”. We had a decently exciting pre-merge, but then one of the worst merges ever with an anticlimactic quit. We lost our two big strategists right after the merge, and got the equivalent of wonder bread to lead us through most of the post-merge, but ended with an above-average winner. I do think it is the rise of Jon “Wonder Bread” Misch that prevents this season being higher for me, and I still feel that Jeremy’s eviction was unfair from a viewer standpoint, with not enough foreshadowing to feel earned. That said, would I call this a bad season? Not really. There’s nothing to hate about it, but I just can’t find myself able to muster any other reaction than “Eh, it was ok.” I will say I like that on a season where the women were numerically disadvantaged due to a last-minute medical pull, it was three women in the end regardless, but other than that, this season fails to stand out. In a sense, it’s damned by faint praise, but it’s not bad either.

27. “Survivor South Pacific”: On paper, this one should be around the “Survivor Redemption Island” area of this list. It has many of the same hallmarks: Returnees dominating the game, and the return of “Redemption Island”. However, what saves this season for me is the cast. Yes, there’s a lot of blind loyalty to the returnees, but these people are better at thinking for themselves, to the point where the returnees actually don’t win in the end. Plus, they’re just damn entertaining. For good and for ill, they stand out more as characters and strategists that seasons further down on the list, and that just makes for a more fun watch as a whole. Mind you, the problems I mentioned above are still problems, but this season gets a reaction from me, which is more than I can say for “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, thus putting it here on the list.

26. “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”: This is another season that’s difficult to talk about. Like “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, I can’t say much of it stands out, but unlike that season or “Survivor South Pacific”, I can’t say there’s anything I can particularly complain about this season. Yeah, the theme is a little forced, but that’s hardly something I can complain about, and while I don’t like Final Four Firemaking, I’m not going to blame this season just because something I don’t like was introduced in it. I know a lot of people complain about Ben’s win, and while I personally would have like the see Chrissy get a bit more respect, I’m of the opinion that the blame largely lies with the rest of the cast who, from what we saw, knew about Ben’s idol hunting but did nothing to stop him. And even if you don’t like him as a winner, Ben is at least a nice guy to have get the money. This season came and went, without leaving much of an impact, and was pretty much just another standard “Survivor” season.

25. “Survivor Marquesas”: If this were a list of the most historically important seasons, “Survivor Marquesas” would be near the top. I mean, the first totem-pole shake-up? How cool is that? And yes, “Survivor Marquesas” has a lot of interesting things happen in it. If only it happened to engaging characters. Oh, don’t misunderstand me, “Survivor Marquesas” has some great characters. Kathy is deservedly one of the all-time greats, and I maintain that it is a crime that Sean Rector hasn’t yet returned to the show. But the fact is, the vast majority of the interesting players were voted out pre-jury. Big things happened, but did not happen to players we much cared about. On top of that, while I haven’t been commenting on it much, visual aesthetic goes a long way for me in terms of making a season memorable. Most early seasons do well, but “Survivor Marquesas” is the exception. It’s just another South Pacific Island chain that doesn’t really distinguish itself from all the other seasons set on other South Pacific Island chains. Again, nothing bad about it per se, but it’s more of a plot-driven season than a character-driven season, and is all the less interesting for it.

24. “Survivor Exile Island”: While the theme of this season was also not the strongest, the atmosphere was. People tend to forget, since the twist became commonplace quickly, but Exile Island was really intimidating when it first came up, and no one knew what it was. That atmosphere prevails throughout the season, and serves to help it stand out in one’s memory. While the pre-merge is nothing to write home about, the post-merge gives us a fantastic story line, with Casaya’s repeated attempts to oust Terry Deitz. There was no real “villain” here, since there were legitimate reasons to root for either Terry or the Casayas. This kept the show engaging up until the end, and while not all of the cast was a big hit, it gave us some long-time memorable characters, including the aforementioned Terry, plus the likes of Cirie and Shane. It’s by no means legendary, but definitely has a lot to recommend it.

23. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Dividing the tribes by race was, shall we say, an ill-conceived idea, but one that was obvious enough that I won’t count it against this season. As a consequence of having the largest cast at the time (“Survivor Palau” also had 20 players to start with, but eliminated 3 in the first episode, which this season did not), a lot of players fell by the wayside, which is why the season is no higher. But this season, more than any other, exemplified the underdog story, with the Aitu Four managing to beat the odds and make it to the finals together. Seeing Godfather Yul’s masterful gameplay was a joy to watch, and I have little time for people saying his win was due to the then-overpowered Hidden Immunity Idol. Yes, it was a help to him, but Yul was able to use it as an effective threat, which not just anyone can do. The occasional Cao Boi, Flicka, and Ozzy help provide some moments of levity to the season, and an engaging underdog story make this season definitely one worth another watch.

22. “Survivor Ghost Island”: People tend to underrate this season, in my mind. I think the problem is that a lot of people quickly grew tired with the “Ghost Island” twist, though of better ways to do it, and were upset that these weren’t what the show went with. Fair enough, but if you stop thinking about what it could have been, and just look at what is, the twist isn’t that bad. The show was fairly conservative with adding in idols and advantages, and did keep things suitably ominous. As to the show as a whole? I won’t deny that the post-merge really brought this season down, since it was incredibly obvious that no one was going to stop the Domenick/Wendell pairing. That said, we had one of the more-exciting pre-merges, and while it was clear that either Domenick or Wendell would win, it wasn’t clear which of them would win, keeping at least some mystery up until the end. Maybe if you weren’t a big fan of either Domenick or Wendell it got grating, but as someone who really liked Wendell’s gameplay, it was a fun enough watch, even if I did wish for some better competition. The merge as a whole may not have been that great, especially since a lot of the bigger characters went out early, and some of the late game players were practically invisible, but the first tied final vote in “Survivor” history made for a solid and enjoyable finale for me. Not a perfect season by any stretch, but there are a lot more good points here than people give credit for.

21. “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”: Conversely, this is a season I think gets overrated in a lot of people’s rankings. Don’t get me wrong: the cast overall is solid, and it has decent mystery as to the winner throughout. What really does this in for me is the theme. “Survivor” as a whole was really stretching for themes at this point, and this one in particular irked me. Both generations seemed to get high and mighty about their supposed superiority, and pretty much all the cast tried to force it into at least one confessional they had, which just irritates me. Add onto that the prominence of “dude-bros” a character type I’m not particularly fond of, and some low-key bullying in places, particularly of David, and this is not a season I’m likely to be super-fond of. That said, I cannot deny that this season has good points. Characters are more hits and misses overall, there’s some good strategy to be found, and most important, there’s no obvious winner. Hints are there, but up until the Final Tribal Council, you have no idea what the outcome will be, which goes for to keeping one engaged with the season, which is a major victory that keeps the season this high.

20. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Aesthetic is the big thing that saves this season. There’s a number of good characters, some decent strategy for the early days, and a generally likable cast as a whole (Jerri Manthey at the time notwithstanding). But my God, from a modern standpoint, this season is predictable. There’s basically no shakeups, and everything just goes on in what is effectively a Pagonging from there on out. Not exactly compelling tv. So, why do I have this season this high? Frankly, it’s memorable. The cast is a big part of that, but above all else, those locales and those challenges stick in your mind. It may not be the best season of “Survivor”, but it sticks in your mind, which to me counts for a lot, and in this case elevates a lot of the more mediocre elements this season can bring.

19. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: This may be the most controversial call yet on this list. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” is a lot of people’s favorite season of all time, and there’s clearly a reason why. This season has arguably the most exciting pre-merge the show has ever had, with underdog stories, idol plays, blindsides, and crazy moves all around. But it’s time for me to codify something I’ve been hinting at with some of my other judgments so far: Not every part of a season is created equal. While I’ll obviously take a season with good elements over bad, the fact is that an exciting post-merge is much more important than an exciting pre-merge. I can get through a boring pre-merge if I know I’ve got exciting things coming down the road, but a season that peaks early makes it hard to go on afterward. And for all the greatness that is the “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” pre-merge, the post-merge, to me, is AWFUL! Oh, the merge itself is exciting, with the culmination of J.T.’s failure, but afterwards it just becomes the “Russell Hantz” show again, which after having a season full of that, I’m not ready to watch again. This is the only season where I’ve given up in the middle of a rewatch. The post-merge is just so frustrating, with Russell in such an easy position to be taken down, yet it doesn’t happen, that I couldn’t keep it up, and quit around Amanda’s boot. That said, this season is redeemed slightly by Sandra getting the last laugh, and again, that pre-merge is prime quality. Sadly for this season, for me, the quality is not where it needs to be. Plus, I felt it could have done more as a tribute season. Reused challenges and acknowledging players making it 100+ days is nice, but I could have done with them going more all-out in terms of call-backs.

18. “Survivor Caramoan”: Adding onto the blasphemy, I’ve now put a lot of people’s least-favorite season above a lot of people’s favorite season, and again my “Post-merge matters more” perspective comes into play here. I won’t deny, the pre-merge of “Survivor Caramoan” is garbage. Asshole characters like Shamar, and annoying characters like Phillip “Special Agent?” Shephard dominate, and unlike the previous “Fans vs. Favorites”, things don’t seem as evenly matched between the tribes. Plus, the less said about Brandon Hantz, the better. But that post-merge, man! A lot of the fat gets trimmed, and we get some fantastic strategizing, culminating in a great bookend to the story-arc of John Cochran. Plus, the invention of live Tribal Councils courtesy of Malcom Freberg. Yes, the reunion show was a mess, and Dawn deserved more respect, but it doesn’t take away from the engagement and excitement that is the machinations of the merged tribe. Controversial, but if you can get though the first part of the season, it really has some legs.

17. “Survivor Blood vs. Water”: This season brought us an innovative concept that worked out really well. This is probably the best season in terms of putting up first time players against returnees, in and of that the new players seemed to be of the same caliber of play as the returnees, and if Ciera had just timed things a bit better, or the rock draw had gone differently, might have won. There’s not as much mystery as on some seasons, but the outcome is not set in stone either, so the season has decent engagement overall. Some good moves, a lot of good characters, so why isn’t this season higher? Well, there’s two things about this season that stop me from putting it any higher. Apart from the rock draw, there’s not really a moment that stands out from this season, and the moves and boot order tend to blend together. I do like moments from this season, but just can’t recall them as easily as I could an iconic season. The big problem, however, is “Redemption Island”. Yes, it is better in this incarnation than in previous ones, due to how it played on the family dynamics, and how far people would go for their loved one. But the fact remains that “Redemption Island” as a twist takes up too much time, and violates the “Once the decision is made, the decision is final” doctrine. It’s the difference between eating a manure sandwich, and eating a manure sandwich with cheese. The latter is better, certainly, but still not good. I cannot, in good conscience, put a season with “Redemption Island” as a mainstay twist any higher than this.

16. “Survivor China”: “Survivor China” is a season that keeps going up every time I do these rankings. I appreciate the season a lot more on rewatch than I did the first time, seeing all the little jokes and side moments I missed. The location is good and distinctive as well, with a solid theme, though I will say the challenges took a massive dip in quality post-merge, which is a slight mark against it. There’s also a lot of dramatic moments, from Jamie playing a fake idol to James getting voted out with two idols, to Todd’s fantastic Final Tribal Council performance. Many would say this deserves to be in the “Great” category, and I did debate putting this and the next season in that category. So what keeps it out? Again, this season has two flaws that for me hold it back. My main objection is Todd. He’s a great winner, with again one of if not the best Final Tribal Council performance ever, but he was really broadcast as the winner from the get-go. Even as someone relatively new to “Survivor” at the time, I could tell Todd was being set up to win, and wasn’t surprised when he did. This lack of mystery makes the later episodes in particular hard to get through at times. My second objection is, I’ll admit, subjective, but I REALLY don’t care for Courtney. I know a lot of people find her funny, but she really doesn’t do it for me. I think my thing is that insult comedy is fine, but you have to insult yourself as much, if not more so, than other people. Apart from maybe one or two cracks about her weight, Courtney just seems to go after the flaws of others, which does not win me over. What, you think you don’t stink sometimes? I did actually debate putting this season in the “Ugly” category, since even if I don’t like Courtney, she did not deserve the treatment she got from Jean-Robert, but given that it was limited to nighttime cuddling, I think it’s borderline enough to stay our of that category, but only just.

15. “Survivor Kaoh Rong”: Yes, even the season that gave us my all-time favorite player can’t break into the “Great” category. Even so, there’s a lot to love about this season. A lot of big characters, a good guy/bad guy dynamic that keeps people invested, and one of the most even Final Threes, in my opinion, we’ve ever had in terms of how they played the game. While I don’t care for them reusing a season theme, this one at least made sense, and wasn’t as forced as others. This season works particularly well in light of the trends of modern “Survivor”. Apart from being one of the lasts seasons to not be overloaded with twists, the big moment of this season, Aubry convincing Tai not to save Scot, comes from pure social manipulation, which is both fascinating and refreshing to see in this day and age. From Debbie to Aubry to Tai, there’s a lot to love about this season. Some might say it’s low for all the medevacs, and that’s a mark against it, but that’s not the main thing keeping it out of the “Great” category. No, this season could very easily have been one of the greats, but the editors screwed the pooch on this one. Based on the season we saw, Aubry should have won over Michele. Now, before you go on with your angry comments, I am NOT saying Michele didn’t deserve her win. Michele played a fantastic game, and certainly the one the jury needed to see. She earned her win, plain and simple, and I say that as an Aubry fan over here. The problem is that the show never justified WHY Michele deserved to win above Aubry. Post game interviews tell us that Aubry made social gaffes, and Michele was tight with everyone, but the show didn’t highlight that. It instead highlighted Aubry’s triumphs, and minimized her few mistakes that she did make. I get that Michele’s game may not have been exciting enough to show on its own, but show us Aubry’s spots. Show us her flaws in greater detail. Leave out the “There’s as much brawn in her as there is in me.” type confessionals, and put in ones where people talk about how they don’t like Aubry. The jury made the right decision for them, and to the internet community, I point out that it is possible for BOTH Aubry and Michele to have played good game, and saying one played well does not mean the other played poorly. But the editors didn’t let us see that, and so the season, while still good overall, has an unsatisfying end.

THE GREAT

14. “Survivor Gabon”: If it weren’t for the new category, and “Survivor All-Stars” needing to go in it, this season would probably have fallen the furthest in my season rankings since the start. While I have a soft spot for this season, I can see the flaws on rewatch. This season is an INCREDIBLY slow start, with people making stupid decisions and not much going on. Most of the big characters are kept around for the merge, though, and it’s around that time that things start to pick up. Really, I’d say the double-Tribal Council is where things get good. Ace made a decent early villain, but he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. His elimination, however, gave rise to one of my favorite storylines in the show’s history: The Rise and Fall of Ken Hoang. True, “Survivor Gabon” may not have had the greatest strategy in the history of forever, but I hate it when people say the show had no strategy whatsoever this season. Look at Ken. Look at his manipulations. He went from a position of no power to RUNNING the game, and even managed to be likable on a season where no one liked anyone else. Yes, he got cocky and did himself in, which made the finale as a whole lackluster, but he admits this flaw and has learned from it. I still say it’s a crime he’s never been brought back. I can see people being turned off by how hateful the season can seem, but personally, I saw the arguments as more coming from people who were misanthropic rather than hateful, which makes a big difference to me. Add into that a distinctive location, and you’ve got a season that needs more love. Don’t get me wrong, the front half is a slog, but that back half is well worth it.

13. “Survivor Philippines”: This and next season fall into a small subcategory I call “Technical Perfection”, wherein a season has no flaws, it just doesn’t excite me. “Survivor Philippines” does nothing wrong. Abi-Maria sticks around a bit longer than I’d like, but it crosses the line into funny at some point. Penner isn’t as funny as his previous appearances, but also plays probably his best strategic game. Russell Swan and the Matsing tribe have a great early story-arc, though this means the season kind of peaks too early. On the whole, I really have nothing bad to say about the season, and it does nothing wrong, but it doesn’t stick in my mind. Like “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, it just kind of blends together for me. Technical perfection means I have to put it in this category, but lack of memorability means I put it no higher than this.

12. “Survivor David vs. Goliath”: I get why people generally like this one better than I do. It was going to be a good season based on cast alone, with a lot of memorable new characters that were fun to watch as well as decent strategy, but when it’s sandwiched between “Survivor Ghost Island” and “Survivor Edge of Extinction” two seasons that have been generally poorly received, makes it look even better. Perhaps because I liked “Survivor Ghost Island” more than others, I’ve never been as bullish on this season, though the positives are still quite positive. People like Gabby, Christian, and Lyrsa are some all-time great characters I look forward to seeing back, and even some of the quieter players like Carl have their good moments. Similar to “Survivor Philippines”, though, a lot of the season and its boot order blend together for me. Plus, I just don’t like the theme. It feels forced, and gives an edge to the “Davids” in the end, since they become the underdogs. Still, apart from a forced theme this season does what it needs to do, and does it well. While I say it all blends together, there are one or two stand out moments, such as the idol nullifier play, that spring to mind when I think of this season, so I put it higher than “Survivor Philippines”, but that’s the only reason.

11. “Survivor Palau”: “Survivor Palau” is an oddity on this list, in that I put it high up despite rewatch value being very low. Seeing Ulong get decimated the first time is fun, but seeing it afterward is not. It just becomes a slog, and then seeing Tom dominate is a similar deal. Once again, though, theme saves it. Such dominance feels appropriate for a season themed around WWII, and this season goes all-out in the aesthetic. The challenges are fantastic, some of the choices made (particularly in the first immunity challenge) fascinating, and this season has a lot of oddball moments that stand out. Those are probably this season’s two greatest strengths: It’s fun to watch, and it stands out. That alone earns it a spot in this category.

10. “Survivor Borneo”: Ranking this season is always tough. It stands out and is memorable and enjoyable, but for very different reasons than most other seasons. Only Richard Hatch was really playing what we’d call a recognizable game today, and it can get old, particularly in the pre-merge, with how naive these people seem compared to the game we know today. It shows how we got here, but doesn’t do as much on its own to recommend it. That said, the impactful moments of the season, like Jenna not getting a video from home, and especially Gretchen’s boot, still have a major impact even in this jaded day and age. I have no nostalgia blinders for this season, having gotten into the show later, so I’m not as high on this season as some, but as a microcosm of early “Survivor”, as well as a fascinating case study, this season definitely deserves a spot amongst the greats.

9. “Survivor The Amazon”: This was another season that nearly ended up in the “Ugly” category. Man, those sexual politics have not aged well. Nothing close to a sex-crime or anything, but the men do not come off looking good here, and really, the season only avoids my wrath for this because the women get the better of the men in the end. Leaving that aside, “Survivor The Amazon” is a fun season, plain and simple. Rob Cesternino is, of course, our main source of comedy, and his “Casey Kasem” voting confessional is matched in humor only by Wendell’s anti-Chris Noble rant on “Survivor Ghost Island”. That said, most others on this season are no slouch either, providing some good moments of levity that help to make this season both fun and distinct. There’s even some good character arcs, with Matthew’s evolution in particular being a fun watch for me. There’s a lot of good strategists here as well, and I’m still amazed that Deena in particular has never come back. With all that said, this season does land this low because a lot of the gender humor is uncomfortable in this day and age, and the guys really do look like jackasses, but if you can look past that, this season is one of the funniest the show has ever had, and all the funnier for it.

8. “Survivor Tocantins”: This season brings us another fun underdog story, and one of the most lopsided victories ever. Seeing the Jalapao three work the cracks in the old Timbira was just a joy to go through, and seeing just how dominant J.T. would be, to the point of people STILL IN THE GAME saying they would rather he win than themselves, was a fascinating journey. Even J.T.’s subsequent abysmal performances can’t diminish his accomplishments here. Many people point to the humor of this season, but it doesn’t do it for me. Coach I found more annoying than funny, and similar to Courtney, Tyson just doesn’t do it for me, though in this case it’s more the over-reliance on sex humor than an unwillingness to make fun of himself that I dislike about Tyson. That said, a distinct location and a fun and engaging story help elevate this season, and with no controversial elements, it’s fair for the season to land this high.

7. “Survivor Vanuatu”: This season was unappreciated in its time, and I can definitely understand why. While there were subtle hints as to where it was going, it was tough to follow on first watch, and didn’t stand out as much as previous seasons. Opposite to “Survivor Palau”, however, this season THRIVES on being rewatched. Seeing all the little moments that led to Chris’ surprise victory over the women’s alliance makes this season a fascinating detective story, and the sheer ludicrousness of the guy who lost the first challenge winning the game is the stuff of legends. We also got some great new female characters and strategists, with Ami in particular a standout. Maybe the location was a bit generic, but the volcanos were a nice touch, and they added a few elements you wouldn’t find on other seasons. Between the spiritual stone and the pig they got at tree mail, they did their level best to make this not just another island season. With probably the best detective story the show’s ever had, this season deserves a rewatch, if you haven’t in a while.

6. “Survivor Africa”: If you’re looking for a distinctive season, this one is for you. You see even one screenshot, you know this is “Survivor Africa”. I hear a lot of people say this wasn’t as good as the first two seasons before it, but I wholeheartedly disagree. It kept the heart of the early seasons, with people moralizing a bit more, while still having some good strategic shakeups. We had our first thrown challenge (in with some of the best challenges the show has ever seen), our first tribe swap, and our first winner we could like. Seriously, if you’re not at least a casual fan of Ethan, you have no soul. Lex’s paranoia and gut make for a fun storyline, and getting to see the countryside on rewards like the goat reward or the AIDS supplies reward make this a season unlike any other. Good combats evil, good triumphs. What don’t people like about this season again.

5. “Survivor Guatemala”: I’ll admit, this is the season where my nostalgia blinders come on. This is the season that got me into “Survivor”, and I think it still holds up. Great location, great underdog story with Danni (so glad to see her back on the upcoming season), memorable characters in the likes of Judd, Gary, and Rafe, and even a fun bit of lore with the “car curse” getting acknowledged by the show in-universe. Yes, it’s not my number one season, since we do lose a lot of good people in the pre-merge, but what we’ve got is still solid throughout. People say this season ruined Stephenie, but I think it was more “Survivor Palau” that gave us an unrealistically heroic depiction of her. Yes, she was the hero that survived all of Ulong, but it’s not as though she didn’t TRY and be devious with her tribe. They were just so incompetent that she couldn’t be. For instance, when it was down to her, Bobby Jon, and Ibrehim, when Bobby Jon waffled on whether he would keep her or not, she tried to blindside him with Ibrehim. The only reason we have the Stephenie/Bobby Jon pairing people love so much these days is because Ibrehim was non-committal as well. Stephenie has always been somewhat villainous, she just didn’t get a chance to show it. Disappointing perhaps for the people who put her up on a pedestal, but in my opinion, a good story for a good season. It needs more love.

4. “Survivor Cagayan”: When watching a season of “Survivor”, you generally want the show to have both good characters and good strategists. This season brought both, often in the same people, and that’s what makes it so great. For good or for ill, everyone came to play, and whether they played well or not, they played hard. This made for an impactful week-to-week story, and with players being willing to shake things up, not the most predictable one either. Most people sing the praises of this season, so there’s little need for me to do so as well. Only the presence of the super idol, and Tony’s game getting more credit than it deserves (I’m not convinced there was a method to his madness; I think his strategy was more “throw it at the wall and see what sticks”, which just happened to work this time) keep it from being higher, but it remains a top-tier season nonetheless.

3. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: Another classic. If you want a season with a memorable theme, look no further than this. “Survivor Pearl Islands” kept up the aesthetic with the set dressings and challenges, but actually incorporated the theme into the game as well. There was a treasure hunt, the looting of a town, and the robbing of another tribe’s camp. Mind you, there was also the Outcast twist. I don’t mind it as much as some, as it was an obvious idea that had to be tried, but it does bring down the season slightly. But that cast! With the possible exceptions of “Survivor Borneo” and “Survivor The Australian Outback”, this may be the most iconic cast we’ve ever had. Sandra. Jonny Fairplay. Savage. Freaking RUPERT! All from here, and all bring big personality to make for both a fun and memorable season.

2. “Survivor Cambodia”: For a season this late in the timeline to make it nearly to the number one spot, it has to be good. In a smart move by producers, we effectively picked the cast this season, meaning we had a buy-in that other returnee seasons may not have had. But that wouldn’t have been enough if the cast gave us nothing, but they did. The name of the game here is strategy. I’ll admit, it’s not as character-driven as other seasons, but it makes up for that by giving us some of the most in-depth strategy talk the show ever had. While “voting blocks” could get old for how much they used the term, the fact remains that alliances shifted week to week helped keep the show exciting and engaging through to the end. Throw in great returning challenges and a more distinctive new location than before, and you’ve got the makings of a legendary season. So, why not number one? Well, good as the season is, I would say the pre-merge stories are more engaging than the post-merge stories, largely due to the pre-merge having smaller tribes, making things easier to follow. The post-merge is still good, but it’s an overall downward trajectory, as opposed to our number one season, which had an upward trajectory.

1. “Survivor Micronesia”: What can I say, this season is legendary? People like to mock how lopsided the show was in favor of the returnees, but I’d say a big strength of this season was how good the fans could be. True, there were some idiots, but a lot of the fans actually went toe-to-toe with the favorites, and could have won if not for luck. Amanda doesn’t find the idol at Final 5, and Natalie or Alexis probably wins the season. But, of course, the big draw of this season is the shocking moments. I’m not going to say the Black Widow Brigade was the best alliance ever, but damn if they didn’t pull off some improbable moves. Erik giving up immunity alone probably lands it a spot on this list, but 16 seasons on a show that formerly had 16 castaways, with a trivia competition based on the show near the end, with returning players, some of the most iconic of the past 9 seasons? This is the stuff of legend, culminating in the first ever unisex final episode. Every rewatch just gets better and better, and that, to me, makes it a season deserving of a number one spot.

Well, there you have it. As I say, this is a subjective list, so feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Otherwise, I’ll see you next month for “Survivor Winners at War”!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Island of the Idols” Episode 10: The Editors Go Crazy

The “Survivor” editing team. Some of the best at what they do. Purveyors of humor on many a season. Check out Russell Swan’s idol hunt on “Survivor Philippines” if you doubt my claim. Yet tonight, we get proof that there can be “Too much of a good thing”, and they weaken what was already a poor episode to begin with. So much so that the most exciting thing in this blog is going to be another edition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Bit of a quick point, and actually a repeat of a point I made two blogs ago, but a missed point nonetheless. Amongst Missy’s arguments as to why she should stay, particularly after seeing Aaron leave at the previous Tribal Council, was a “People of color should stick together”, and an echo of Cirie’s point from “Survivor Game Changers” about the rarity of multiple women of color making the merge. A pretty solid, human moment, ruined once again by Probst’s need to inject himself into the situation, and to point out how much of a “moment” this is. Like I’ve said before, Probst, the way for you to strengthen these moments is to just LET THEM BE! It makes for a stronger message. When you try and constantly point them out, not only do you make us feel ill, but you weaken the moment overall as a result. Not saying that the argument would have changed the outcome of the episode or anything, but it would have been nice to just let a human moment be.

Speaking of Tribal Council, Lauren is initially worried about the outcome of the second one, so much so that she can’t even celebrate the ouster of Aaron. She and Tommy may not have been on the same team last episode, but they are on the same wavelength, both wanting Missy out to cement their power. Lauren, however, is pretty good at reading the room, and rightly predicts trouble for Tommy. Of course, as we know from having watched the episode, she needn’t have worried. Tommy returns, and the pair celebrate their good fortune. As well they should. They’ve cemented themselves as the Domenick and Wendell (“Survivor Ghost Island”) of the season: Savvy players that can run the season with little competition, with the only player savvy enough to stop them (Elaine, playing the role of Kellyn), being disinclined to do so. Glad all tension just went out of the season.

Yes, most everyone left has a reason to celebrate. About the only exception is Elizabeth, who just lost… Yeah, pretty much all her main allies. Put that way, she takes the whole thing quite well, stating that while she’s upset, she knows why it had to be done. Props to her for saying the right things to say in this situation. The read could have done with a bit more heart and sincerity in it, but much as I like Elizabeth, she has been kind of “flat” this whole season, so maybe it’s just her speaking style. No one seems to hold it against her, so in the end, I can’t really fault her.

The next morning, Tommy and Lauren regroup their strategy. Dean comes over and pitches his plan to get out what he calls the “goat army”, specifically Noura and Karishma. It’s basically his “meat shields” idea from last episode, minus the Aaron. Tommy admits he’s sympathetic, but also notes that Elizabeth is a major threat in confessional, and says he may need to go for her first. This is jumping the gun here, since I usually save my strategy thoughts for when targets start being finalized, but I will say that Tommy is absolutely correct here. Yes, you don’t want to go too big on the “get out the threats” route, since Tommy is fast becoming the biggest threat, but you can frame targeting Elizabeth not as a threat, but as an enemy. The trouble with Elizabeth is that she has no real allies right now, and no incentive to work with you. All this makes her a threat, even more so than the whole “Olympic Athlete” thing, and means she needs to go.

Someone else needs to go as well, though… To the Island of the Idols! Yes, the producer’s restraint has reached its limits (plus it actually fits within the time frame of the show now), and it’s time to send one person back. Continuing with our shout outs to “Survivor Ghost Island”, the selection method is exactly the same as the pre-merge selection for who goes to Ghost Island: Come to a unanimous decision, or draw lots. Unlike last time, some people are clamoring to go. And by some people, I mean Karishma and Lauren, the former because she’s still a major target, and the latter to consolidate power in her alliance. As always on “Survivor” social game wins out, and the tribe decides to send Lauren. Of course, Karishma could pull a Shirin (“Survivor Worlds Apart”) and be the dissenting voice that denies her, but as she rightly points out, making waves over such a little thing is more trouble than it’s worth.

After a “humorous” interlude involving a chicken stealing Sandra’s papaya, Lauren arrives and does her best impression of Amber Brkich (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), saying “Oh my God!” over and over. This pleases Boston Rob, and he bestows his favor upon Lauren. You see, up until this point, people have gotten “lessons” that are either things they genuinely need to work on, or things that are neutral to them. Here, Lauren gets a lesson in what is dubbed “situational awareness”, but is really “interpersonal awareness”, and either way, plays to Lauren’s strengths. Basically, she gets told the immunity challenge (which is a repeat from “Survivor Ghost Island”. What is up with all the references to that season this episode? Don’t get me wrong, it’s underrated, but it’s not great enough to be deserving of THIS much attention), as well as that it’s an eat or compete challenge for breakfast. She has to pick one potential winner of the challenge. Get it right, she gets an idol good for two Tribal Councils. Get it wrong, she loses her vote. As Lauren herself rightly points out, those aren’t good odds. You’re basically picking a 1/9 shot, and even if you eliminate half of the people for various reasons (challenge weakness or desire to eat), that’s still only a 25% chance that you win. Bad enough in and of itself, but after those crazy couple of Tribal Councils, every vote is important. For me, losing such a vote would be too big a risk. Boston Rob therefore decides to sweeten the pot with better odds (and not just seemingly better odds like he talked about doing pre-season) giving Lauren two picks instead of one. Objectively better odds, but I still say the risk is too great, even for Lauren with her reading of others. Lauren disagrees, however, and with the repeated flashbacks when discussing each person, she comes down on Elizabeth and Noura to win, since this challenge is an endurance challenge involving holding a ball against a wood block with an upward pull system. Not bad choices, though I’m surprised Elaine and Tommy weren’t in the mix.

Say, you know what we haven’t had in a while? Dean making a fool of himself! It seems despite the skepticism of Jamal’s “gift” from two episodes ago, people have now swung around to thinking the “legacy advantage” is real. I guess you did your job after all, Jamal. Not that it does you much good besides a satisfying “gotcha” since you’re already on the jury, but satisfying nonetheless. After getting confirmation from Janet on the veracity of the advantage, Dean decides to double down on the idiocy by plagiarizing the fake advantage, so that he can bluff with the fake and save the “real” fake for the final six. If this were a legit advantage, this would actually be kind of a smart play. But it’s not, and anyone with brain cells should realize that, so I’m not sorry Dean gets the dodo music here.

Only the return of Lauren could stop this madness, so return she does. When asked what went down, she talks in the same vein as Noura did during her trip (which should make everyone immediately suspicious), and reveals the challenge, as well as the eat or compete twist. It at first seems like she’ll continue keeping the nature of her twist a secret, but she spills the beans in the end. Granted, it’s only to Tommy, who’s a really good co-conspirator for her, so ultimately probably a good move. It just seems weird that the trend gets bucked NOW of all times. Since Tommy wants Lauren to have that idol (presumably she’s selling it as “an idol for both of us”), he goes around, talking up the feast aspect to those that Lauren didn’t bet on. Gotta admit, it’s good gameplay. If Lauren did the convincing, she’d be seen as suspicious (again, see Noura), but Tommy’s a natural salesman, and despite his closeness with Lauren, doesn’t come off as someone with an agenda.

Consequently, after Probst feigns indignation at the lack of reaction to the feast (the man HAD to know they’d been informed), six of the nine choose to sit out, a surprise even to me. Only Karishma, Noura, and Elizabeth choose to compete, better odds that Lauren could have possibly hoped for. Even better for her, Karishma is out in the first 30 seconds or so, guaranteeing her the idol no matter what. Even better for the audience, Karishma gets a really touching emotional moment where she breaks down about trying even when something doesn’t play to her strengths. Probst, while he addresses the moment, wisely lets it play out largely without commentary. About the worst that can be said is that the challenge is over quickly by endurance standards, though you knew that was coming. Probst talked up the 45-minute record like it was a major feat, but dude, we’ve seen 12-hour endurance challenges. Get that JV-junk out of here.

Noura ends up our victor, and kudos to her from learning from her mistake. She keeps going in the challenge in the hopes that it makes the feast last longer, before Probst puts the kibosh on it. We of course see Tommy and Lauren pick up the idol, but there’s not much beyond that. There’s very little strategizing to be done, since Elizabeth is largely a consensus boot (though Elaine isn’t terribly happy about it), and there’s enough of a majority to split the votes between her and Karishma. The only issue comes if one of them has an idol. Karishma is still reeling emotionally, and I hate to pick on her, but Noura stole her bag to look through it, and if NOURA is able to steal your bag, you must not be paying even the remotest bit of attention. About the only upside for Karishma here is that this is Noura, so despite finding a note and two things with seashells, she thinks there’s no idol.

In order to convince Karishma not to blow up the plan, Dan tells her the partial truth. Elizabeth being the target is correct, but he tries to sell her on Janet being the other swing vote. Karishma, being occasionally blind, but not stupid, sees through this, and goes to talk to Elizabeth. Fortunately Lauren can read lips, and so sees Dan’s name be brought up between the pair. Lauren initially tries to keep Dan contained when he wants to go over and bust up the conversation, but Dan cannot be contained. Dan, did you learn nothing from Missy last episode? Strong-arming Karishma is NOT the way to go. Consequently, now she’s bringing her idol, the ONLY reason you would have to vote her out, and no one even knows about that!

Our Tribal Council is unfortunately just as dull as the rest of the episode. The lowlight is Probst forcing racing metaphors into the conversation. Metaphors can be painful enough when they’re NOT obviously planned by production. Hell, Tommy had a decent one comparing making a decision about who to vote out to where to take his girlfriend to dinner, but you force in the racing one? Between this and the obvious boot, not even the presence of the awesome music can save this one, though it tries valiantly. It’s really bad when the highlight is Boston Rob and Sandra recapping what we saw EARLIER IN THE EPISODE!

The outcome may be obvious, but this is modern “Survivor”. Shenanigans must be had! Dean plays his “fake” fake Legacy Advantage, and does a poor job feigning surprise. Sadly, it also makes Tommy a moron, as he also believes in its veracity. It does, however, cause Karishma to play her idol, which I can’t fault her on. Hell, I might have played it last time if I were here, and given that she’s portrayed as the alternate boot here, I can’t fault her. What I CAN fault is Lauren playing her own idol on herself. Why? What possible reason did you have to think you were the alternate target? Better safe than sorry, I suppose, and since the idol was only good one more vote, you don’t lose much, but you don’t gain much either. The jury’s not going to look at you fondly for playing an idol incorrectly, compared to Karishma’s correct play tonight, and Tommy seemed a little miffed that a “shared” idol got played without his consent.

If one person comes off well from this Tribal Council, it’s Karishma. For reasons I still can’t fathom, she was the main target tonight, and negates seven votes against her. Good for her. For all my smack-talk, playing an idol correctly is hard, so kudos to Karishma for pulling it off. This leads to a tie between Elizabeth and Janet (presumably Karishma voted for Elizabeth, and Elizabeth voted for Janet), leading to the obvious outcome of Elizabeth going home. My, that was a convoluted way to get to the outcome we all knew was coming. Painful as it is to see one of my winner picks go home, I can’t say I’m too broken up about it. Elizabeth was by no means BAD to watch, but much like this episode, she just didn’t bring much to the table, and I can’t say her presence will be majorly missed.

How many ways can I say it? This episode was BORING! An obvious outcome, and so much time spent on flashbacks and on Island of the Idols, that the whole thing just felt like a chore. Granted, they didn’t have the best material to work with, but surely we could do better than this?

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Edge of Extinction” “Finale”: Rise of the Quotation Marks

Well, “Survivor”, credit where credit is due: You did it. You managed to give us another first. Many would have thought it impossible after 38 seasons of the show, but they managed it. Yes, I can definitely say without a doubt, this season…

IS THE WORST THING THIS SHOW HAS EVER DONE IN THE ENTIRETY OF ITS EXISTENCE! Look, I’ve tried to be as fair as possible to this season. I tried not to go in hating it on the twist alone. I gave it credit where it earned it. Hell, I would even say some of the merge episodes were pretty good. Not legendary, mind you, but entertaining and worthy of the “Survivor” brand. But that ending. Good Lord, that ending! I had prepared myself for this possibility. I thought I was ok with it, but the more and more I think about it, the more and more it just pisses me off. Yes, “Survivor Fiji” can now rest easy. It has stopped being the general punching bag of bad “Survivor” seasons for me. Be prepared for a number of “Survivor Edge of Extinction” jokes in the future. What could make a season so bad that even the presence of my beloved Aubry cannot earn it any credit?

Well, before we find out, we have to delay talking about this awful “finale” with another round of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

I’ll keep this one brief, but I feel it’s important to touch on. For all that I give Rick credit for what he was able to do, and how he’s able to win over the jury, I wasn’t impressed with his performance at the previous Tribal Council. The whole “righteous indignation” thing worked at the Ron boot, because Rick had actually been tricked in what could be interpreted as a mean-spirited way. This time, however? He’s just mocking their inability to vote him out. Kind of giving back the whole “mean-spirited” thing, and losing the high ground, Rick.

Moving on to our episode proper, you’d think we’d start out at the fallout of the previous Tribal Council. HA HA! You fool! That’s for seasons that DON’T have 8/9ths of the contestants left in the final episode! Because heaven forbid a great character become an early martyr! Yes, we’re going straight to our “Edge of Extinction” challenge, which is your standard ropes course with a table maze at the end, though with a few cool elements. One is the maze itself, which is distinguishable by having the holes for the balls in separate spots, at the midpoint and the end, rather than side-by-side. The big draw, here, is the bridge to the table maze. Rather than your standard plank puzzle bridge, players use the ropes they’ve been navigating through to build the bridge, which is a new idea that works on “Survivor”, and is pretty challenging. Shame it has to be wasted on as overall lackluster a challenge as this.

Now, with 16 people competing in arguably their most important challenge of their game, we of course need some idea of who’s in it to win it. The smart thing to do would have been to build story arcs for those on the Edge of Extinction, like you would do in a NORMAL season, and then let this challenge be the culmination of said story arcs. This being “Survivor Edge of Extinction” they instead do the dumb thing of giving us little to nothing of most of our players, and instead just have the frontrunners get out early in the challenge. Thus, we quickly learn that only Aurora, Eric, Joey Amazing, and Chris are really in contention. Aubry, despite my hopes and predictions, chokes. Even worse, she chokes on the part of the challenge SHE HAD PRACTICED! No, it does not diminish my love for her, and no, it does not contribute to my newfound hatred for this season. Even if Aubry’s loss could be counted as a “sin”, believe me, it would be the LEAST of the sins here.

Out of these four, Chris is our winner. I suppose of those four, he had the closest thing to a story arc, though I lump his “I didn’t get my perfect game.” storyline with Andrew Savage’s “I’m missing my perfect supermodel wife from my life where everything except ‘Survivor’ is perfect!” storyline: It exists, but is pointless and whiny, serving only to turn me against the character. We get our teary farewell confessionals from our remaining contestants who are now, mercifully out of the game. I suppose it’s decently emotional, but more due to the mirror neurons firing than due to the confessionals themselves actually being emotional.

This leads to our first forced Probst segment, where he talks to Joe about losing the game again. After getting an assurance from Joe that Joe thinks he himself can win, Probst nearly has a heart attack when Joe is noncommittal about returning. Trying to salvage the situation, Probst goes for what I describe as “comedy” only in the loosest sense of the term, going on about Joe’s hair being his weakness. Probst, might I suggest you look up the story of “Samson and Delilah”? You might learn a few things about suggest haircuts.

Getting back to camp, Chris now has the daunting task of integrating himself into a group that has every reason to want him gone, and half of whom he hasn’t even played with prior to this day. To his credit, I think he plays it off as best he can here. He talks about the harshness of Edge of Extinction, and how exhausted he is from playing on it. However, he also highlights the insights he has to the jury, and how he’s willing to talk about them with anyone. This simultaneously diminishes Chris’ threat level, while also giving him a bargaining chip in any conversation. His salesman’s skills mean that to the untrained eye, this comes off as genuine. Fortunately for us, Victoria is highly intelligent, as well as having a good bullshit detector. She notes that OF COURSE this is what Chris is going to say, and affirms that he and Rick are targets A and B.

Chris, of course, still needs allies, and so speaks with Rick, the one person who might have his back. Indeed, Rick notes the irony of the situation: How he had helped vote Chris out, only to be voted out himself, and now the two need to work together if they hope to survive. Rick admits to some mistrust, but the guy with no allies to speak of takes what he can get.

Obstacle course number one is nothing to speak of, though I’ll give credit that the circular puzzle is better this time, in and of that you can’t simply look at the logo to get the design. You’d have to examine the immunity idol, which is harder to see at a distance and less frequently examined closely. Julie ends up the victor, which would be uneventful were it not for the way she wins. Oh, I’m not talking about her mistake in building the border first rather than building vertically to help prevent puzzle collapse. No, Chris, recognizing his own inevitable loss of the challenge, stops what he’s doing to help Julie. This, understandably, gets the attention of Rick, who was decently close in the challenge, and is naturally unhappy about a supposed ally helping to ensure his defeat. This is played up as a big deal, and I think it SHOULD have been a big deal, but for two guys with few alliance prospects, I doubt they can let this come between them.

Julie also wins steak dinner, with the choice to bring two people along with her. Hoo boy, does Julie drop the ball here. Chris is her first choice, and I get where she’s coming from in the “he hasn’t had anything to eat since he got voted out” thing, plus the whole “helped her win the challenge” thing, but Julie, it’s the end of the game. Time to be cutthroat. Need I remind you that you are STRENGTHENING ARGUABLY THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE THREAT LEFT IN THE GAME WHO YOU AREN’T EVEN ALLIED WITH? Sigh. At least her second pick, Lauren, makes a little more sense, since they did work together and all before, but despite this, it still alienates her allies. Specifically Victoria, which even RICK calls out as a dumb move on her part. Need I remind you that the only times Victoria HASN’T voted correctly has been when she’s helping out with a split vote? She seems like a person you don’t want to piss off.

Over dinner, our castaways discuss their vote-out options. Rick is of course the primary target, and Chris proves his loyalty by covering for Rick’s idol, which Rick had revealed to him in their previous talk. This then leads to who the backup should be, with the idea floated out that Victoria be the next one to go. Makes sense. She seems popular, and I think has been a low-key major decision maker this entire time. Rick is, of course, planning to use his idol tonight, though whether he’ll go against Chris or not is up in the air. After all, if he were to sway Gavin and Victoria to his side, he’d be able to at least tie, and then rely on everyone else’s self-preservation instinct to break that tie. Despite saving Chris being the clear obvious choice, this is actually some interesting misdirection.

Too bad it goes nowhere! We find out that, like Rick, Chris was given an idol good for the next Tribal Council, but only if half is temporarily given to another player. Chris, recognizing the need to build trust, gives it to Rick, who now trusts Chris 100%, and cements the loss of Victoria. I’ll explain why that’s a shame in a bit, but first, let’s talk about the substitute intrigue for a bit. Rick is hardly the only person Chris has been talking to, and Lauren, at least, is willing to give him the time of day. Chris knows from Kelley that she has an idol, but has been keeping it under wraps for her. Chris tells her that what the jury is looking for is for idols to be played, and played correctly. A plausible lie told in a convincing way. So, now the question is: Will Lauren play her idol for Chris?

Yes. The answer is yes. After a throughly “nothing” Tribal Council, we find that both Lauren and Rick blow their idols. Rick needed to, but as Lauren laments, she wasted hers, with Victoria going out 2 to nothing, against the one vote Chris would have had. Victoria is a major loss for the season, in more ways than one. This gets into the first two problems this season has: who gets booted, and how they’re presented. There were some great new characters and strategists this season, and Victoria, for me, was definitely one of them. More so the latter than the former, but still intriguing, particularly given her young age. Thus, losing her loses the person I was most rooting for at this point, and while it’s a smart move to take out the smart people at this point in the game, it’s not as fun from an audience perspective. More to the point, however, is that while all these things about Victoria are true, you need to look REALLY deep to find them. For all that Victoria was a major force this season, post Aubry-boot she was pretty much nonexistent. Probst even commented at the Reunion show (which is spared quotation marks due to actually being decent this season) that Victoria played a good under-the-radar game that doesn’t get the credit it deserves. Nice sentiment, Probst, but here’s an idea: If you want people to get credit for their work, THEN ACTUALLY SHOW THEIR WORK! My God, the wasted potential here is staggering. Victoria, you deserved a much better season than the one we got.

On a positive note, I will say I admire Eric’s decision to NOT clean himself up at Ponderosa. Helps him stand out, and is a nice, respectful touch.

So, this means we get a segment with Probst detailing Victoria’s game, and hopes for the future, right? Silly viewer! Those are for who PRODUCTION cares about, not who you care about!

Getting back to camp, Rick of course foolishly sets out to look for an idol. I say “foolishly” because of course, after the backlash that the fire-making final four twist from “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” received, they have moved back when regular idols work to the final six, leaving only Chris’ as a legitimate idol left. Then you remember that this is “Survivor Edge of Extinction” where everything you love goes to die! Instead, Rick finds yet ANOTHER idol, thus guaranteeing himself the final four. If, at this point, you think there’s an overabundance of idols for so late in the game, you’re right! Look, I give the producers more slack on the “Advantagegeddon” even on “Survivor Game Changers” than most. While I agree that season overall was too twist-heavy, that particular event I say was more due to the contestants then having balls of steel to hold their idols and advantages so long. But putting in new idols when there’s only one legitimate vote left in the game? That’s just too much. I will never be a fan of the fire-making final four happening automatically, but if you give us one vote with no possible idols, it becomes much more tolerable.

Not content with having TWO hidden immunity idols in the game, Rick now decides he needs FAKE idols in the game as well. He hides a pair of them (with notes from his previous idols for legitimacy), which Lauren and Julie, having learned from their previous efforts of NOT following Rick, find. Rick proves just how much of the high ground he’s taking by laughing obnoxiously behind their backs as they make these efforts. Our hero, everybody.

Our second immunity challenge is your standard ropes obstacle course with little fanfare, though putting it over water was a nice touch. Rick wins, rendering his idol DOUBLY pointless, but making for an interesting situation back at camp. You see, everyone BUT Gavin thinks they’re safe. Preying on this, Rick suggest that he’ll play his idol on Gavin if Gavin votes with them. Gavin, not being a moron, jumps at the chance. But who should they target. The debate, by default, is between Julie and Lauren. Lauren’s played a more dominant game in their eyes, while Julie might have more friends on the jury. The answer, however, is quite obvious to me. Julie must go. Yes, Lauren has a stronger game overall, but it’s not one necessarily respected by the jury. Who the jury wants to win is the biggest factor at this point, making Julie a threat. Moreover, Lauren, being original Manu, is more likely to help one or both of you out at the final four, whereas Julie is not likely to at all. Better to get rid of her.

Our second Tribal Council is just as “nothing” as the first, save for that for once people make the stupid decision. After Lauren and Julie get needlessly humiliated with the fake idols (not that I don’t think Rick shouldn’t have made them, as they did help throw the scent off of him, but the laughter was needless), Lauren gets sent home. Again, I’m sorry to see her go. While not the same level as Victoria, she had a determination I liked, and again, was probably the best non-Rick strategist left in the game. Losing her loses a lot of investment in the season, and another good player to boot.

Our final immunity challenge is the now standard “Stack blocks to make a phrase” challenge, though this one does up the game a bit by having contestants walk along an arced board while still holding the platform steady. Much as I despise this challenge for being repetitive at this point, that is a pretty clever way to shake things up. Gavin and Rick make basically no headway, so our battle comes down to Julie and Chris. Julie is overall faster, but also messes up, handing Chris an easy victory. Meaning yes, someone who was voted out of the game just over a week in, and who will have played less than two weeks total, just made the finals. I’m sure this will in no way backfire on the show whatsoever!

Chris, of course, now has to choose who will be going to fire making. He tries to play things cool with Rick, but Rick pretty quickly picks up on the fact that Chris doesn’t want him in the finals, and so goes to make fire. The debate for Chris really comes down to who he thinks can beat Rick in fire making, and he tells as much to Julie and Gavin. He coaches each of them on fire making, but no real conclusion is reached as we head off to Tribal Council.

Soon enough, we see exactly WHY no conclusion was reached: because Chris chose to take a third option. A stupid option, to be sure, but an option nonetheless. You see, Chris has decided to go full Domenick Abbate (“Survivor Ghost Island”), and give up immunity to Julie, allowing him to battle Rick for the right to remain in the game. For some reason, despite giving up immunity, Chris is allowed to choose who goes to fire making. Granted, I don’t think Julie would have chosen differently, but still, you’d think it’d be her choice, given that she now has immunity. Look, I can see the logic here. Like Domenick, Chris doesn’t want to lose votes to another worthy competitor, and so moves to eliminate that chance, at great risk to himself. It is this last part that I take issue with. No matter how much of a jury threat someone is, IT IS NEVER WORTH RISKING YOUR OWN SPOT IN THE GAME FOR THEM! This was Chris’ worst move of the night, and he’s lucky it didn’t backfire on him. Rick goes home, and again, I’m disappointed. A Rick win would have been predictable from the edit, and certainly would have had an asterisk next to it for the whole “Edge of Extinction” twist, but we at least got to see his gameplay, and he would have been an entertaining winner, if nothing else. Instead, we’re left with decent enough players and nice people, but whose stories were weak (Julie, Chris) or nonexistent (Gavin). Joy.

Between segments, we get another Probst interlude, as Rick is popular enough to warrant an interview. It’s less cringe-worthy than Joe’s segment, as really all Probst tries to do is to get Rick to follow in the footsteps of John Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”), and come work for CBS. Pointless, but nothing annoying about it.

To their credit, all our contestants actually give themselves pretty good arguments about why they should win on this particular day 39. Julie cites her willingness to change up the game, Gavin leans on his social bonds, and Chris notes the effort it took to return from Edge of Extinction. For all my complaints, this is one part the episode actually does well. For a moment, it seems like everyone has a shot.

That is, until we get to Final Tribal Council. Then, Julie at least is shut out. Frankly, of the finalists, she’s probably the one I most wanted to win, due to her arguably actually having an arc. The trouble is, said arc involves Julie acting on her emotions, and while an emotional argument can be powerful, Julie doesn’t demonstrate good control over them, thus making her gameplay come off as erratic and reactionary, rather than controlled and calculated. She’s out, but Chris does himself few favors as well. When Gavin makes a point about his own game at the expense of Chris’, Chris interrupts him to rebut the argument. The jury gets on his case for this, though, citing it as disrespectful. And yet, Chris keeps doing it. True, he does get in good arguments about his social manipulation in the time he had, using Lauren playing her idol as an example of this. Still, that doesn’t mean his interactions with the other finalists come off well. The only person who comes off decently here is Gavin, who manages to articulate his social game nicely, and provide some good, concrete examples. Like with previous uses of this jury format, we do lose those great, defining moments a jury question can provide. The overall Final Tribal Council is sound.

The conclusion, however, is not, and now it is time. We must discuss the sin that ruins the season retroactively. The sin that makes this the worst season of “Survivor” there ever was, purely by default. Our winner, as one might expect, is Chris Underwood.

Where to start with the problems this causes? Well, for one thing, CHRIS WAS VOTED OUT OF THE GAME ON DAY 8! Yes, our winner is a man who so badly bungled a situation, that he was voted out pre-merge. Also bear in mind that he was a physical challenge beast on a tribe that desperately needed challenge strength. For him to be voted out in spite of this speaks volumes about just how badly he bungled his situation. Not only did he bungle his situation, but this also means Chris didn’t need to work nearly as hard as everyone else. While Gavin, Julie, and the other finalists (yes, even Rick to some degree), all had to put themselves at risk, and navigating the social quagmire that is betraying people but still having them like you, all Chris had to do was sit, wait, win one crucial challenge, and not be an asshole. It’s not NOTHING, but compared to what everyone else had to go through, it seems like a lot less, and ought to have disqualified him outright from his victory. This, of course, begs the question of how I would have felt about a Rick victory. I can’t say I would have been fully on board with it, but I wouldn’t have felt like disqualifying Rick quite as much as I do Chris. Rick did get voted out of the game, but unlike Chris, it was less due to his game play, and more due to having the bad luck to end up on a tribe with few options. Rick’s loss was largely due to luck, Chris’ to skill. See the difference? Plus, Rick was in the game the majority of the time, and had to navigate difficult situations, while Chris faced few, if any. Did Chris do nothing? Of course not! His gameplay this episode was masterful, and he’s definitely charming enough to earn a few votes. But think about how this would have looked in previous seasons. Let’s take the case of Hunter Ellis from “Survivor Marquesas”, and man who fills the same roll as Chris, and was voted out at the same point in the game. People loved Hunter at the time, and were shocked at his vote out. Many even advocate for his return. But would you really still love him if, having made no enemies, he was just randomly put back in the game at the end? No. No you wouldn’t. You’d feel production was giving him a leg up because heaven forbid we produce an unsatisfying winner! Ironically, by doing all this, I say production made what could have been a future satisfying winner unsatisfying. I’m glad Chris got the chance to show what he could do, and as I say, he did it well, and there’s nothing offensive about him as a person. But we should have gotten to see these things on a “Second Chances” type season, rather than shoehorning Chris in in the last episode.

But, to be fair, pretty much all of what I’ve vilified is stuff that’s out of Chris’ control. He didn’t ask to be put on an Edge of Extinction season, and made the best of what he had. Besides, however unfair it might be, any twist in the game is legitimate, and you can only play the hand you’re dealt, right? That is correct, and so all of the above, I’m willing to at least consider a counter-argument to. However, even if you were to take away all these problems, one major one still reigns. One question that has no satisfying answer, and is what, by default, makes this the worst season the show has ever put out:

What was the point of having all the episodes this season?

Here’s what I mean: “Survivor”, at its core, is about the journey to the finals. How do our finalists get there, and how do they beat out the other finalists? Some seasons do this better than others. Some seasons make the outcome super obvious. Some seasons subtly manipulate the audience, leading us on a good mystery hunt. Regardless, though, however dominant or just pain good at the game a player is, they still have to go through it. They still have to jump through to hoops so that we can see the progress of their journey. But Chris’ journey largely played out of Edge of Extinction, where even if we DID get footage of it, screen time needed to be divided between everyone else there. Thus, Chris got lost in the shuffle, and we the audience feel like we only really got to know him in this last episode. Again, he played well in that episode, but it still begs the question: If all we needed was this episode, why did we watch all the others?

There was really no season recap this time, nor was there Probst talking about why each remaining player could win. Frankly, I’m happy the latter is gone, since it was kind of forced anyway, but the former can be necessary. After all, more people tend to tune in to the finale of a show, rather than a random episode in the middle. Thus, the recap is needed to understand the journey that brought us to this point. Even the most boring seasons like “Survivor Fiji”, or the most predictable seasons like “Survivor Redemption Island”, there was at least a reason why we needed that journey. Even if we already knew or didn’t care about the outcome, we still needed the guidance of the rest of the season to understand that outcome. Here, someone tuning in for just this episode, even without a season recap, would lose nothing. They could watch it, and get just as much out of it as someone who had followed the entire season. And if 12/13 episodes of your season don’t need to be watched, what was the point of having the season at all?

Now, I hear the counterargument to this already: “Chris did have a story. It was just all on Edge of Extinction. And weren’t you, Matt, one of the ones praising the show for not spending so much time on Edge of Extinction?” You’re right about that, but it doesn’t change the fact that it retroactively makes the season pointless. Of course, we wouldn’t want the show to devote more time to the Edge of Extinction than to people still in the game, but then, if one of those people wins, it feels hollow. The only solution I can really think of to satisfy both worlds would be to have made the segments of “Edge of Extinction” its own show. Have it air right after “Survivor”, and be all about the social dynamics of the Edge of Extinction, with the finale being a kind of crossover between those two shows. Then we might have had time to develop everyone as needed to make a satisfying finale. Now, this would never happen. While “Survivor” has an impressive longevity, it must be said that the heyday of the show is passed, and so CBS is not logically going to devote an entire timeslot to a companion show no one is guaranteed to watch. However, if we’re trying to find a way for this twist to work, this is the only way I can think of. As it stands, this twist is a terrible idea that moves “Survivor” to a point where it isn’t recognizable as “Survivor” any more. Because it is such a different animal, and renders the vast majority of the season as being pointless, there is no logical place for this season to go other than the very bottom of the rankings.

Probably the biggest disappointment of all here, though, is that the season did not have to be this way. Not even close. It’s not like something like the aforementioned “Survivor Fiji”, where the cast mean the season was doomed before they even started filming. This cast had potential. As I said, there were a lot of intriguing new players this time around. But with so much time devoted to returning players, advantages, and the Edge of Extinction itself, they just get shunted aside. Thus, we cannot bond with them, or the season. Really, ALL the players on this season deserved a better season than what they got, and shame on CBS for taking something good and doing everything in their power to ruin it.

Ok, ok, let’s talk about something that actually goes WELL this season: The Reunion show. Still too little time devoted to it, but we talk with most of the important people, get a comment on most everyone, and most importantly, fewer pointless Probst segments. No audience interviews, no kid guessing the obvious winner. Hell, the only former player we see is a brief glimpse of Cochran, and then it’s at a relevant time to mention him. Yeah, I really don’t have any complaints about this particular reunion show, again apart from the length.

As to the upcoming season, it can only be an improvement. If you’re going to bring back returning players with new players, I think keeping the new players out of the competition is the way to do it. They can add flavor to the season this way, but also are less likely to dominate screen time as a result. It’s not a guarantee, so I’m holding my judgment until the season proper, and I am concerned about the lack of new player confessionals in the preview. Plus, getting advice from old players might encourage new players to ape their style, rather than going their own way. Still, there’s potential for good here, and those giant heads are just the kind of cheesy I can get behind, so I’ll give this season a fair shake. Now, onto discussing how my pre-season opinions matched up to reality, starting with:

Dan-Right on personality, wrong on time in the game. He made himself more necessary than I thought he would, and was smarter than I gave him credit for. That said, I count this one as a loss for me.

Reem-Overall right, though she was definitely feistier than I gave her credit for.

Rick-Pretty much right here, though I didn’t call his ending up on Edge of Extinction.

Wendy-Again, pretty well nailed the personality, though she was out earlier than I expected.

Lauren-Despite my saying she had more game than she gets credit for, I still say her personality was on point. Name one thing about her that wasn’t related to Kelley Wentworth. I’ll wait. Oh, and she lasted longer than I would have thought.

Keith-I’m seeing a trend here. Keith is yet another one where I called his personality, but was vastly wrong on his time in the game.

Chris-Wrong. Out earlier than I expected, but also had more game than I expected as well.

Victoria-She made it longer than I guessed, but I’d say I was right overall.

Ron-Wrong. Much more socially aware, and as a result longer-lived, than I ever anticipated.

Julia-Probably the only one on this list where I hit the nail on the head for both personality and time in the game.

Eric-Pretty much right, though I think I gave him too much credit in the “smarts” department.

Aurora-She made herself overall more low-key, at least pre-merge, and so lasted longer than I expert suspected she would. Good for her.

Julie-Wrong. Much less domineering, and much longer-lived than I gave her credit for.

Gavin-A little bit longer-lived than I expected, but Gavin fell pretty close to what I thought otherwise.

Kelley-Right, though as returnees are easier to predict, having seen their previous gameplay, I only consider this a half-win at best.

Joe-Right on vote-out time, wrong on his coming back to win the whole thing.

Aubry-Wrong. I’m not sure how much time is needed for people to think of her more as “Survivor Game Changers” Aubry rather than “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Aubry, but clearly, it’s not enough.

David-Wrong. Dude managed to hang in there better than I expected. How is it people remember Aubry’s (earlier) performance better than David’s?

This would normally be the point where I end the blog. However, loathe though I am to admit it, and however little this season deserves it, it’s time for another:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

Let’s talk about moves. They need to be made on “Survivor”. Even choosing to not make a move is, in and of itself, making a move. As such, one can usually point to a winner’s moves to explain how they won the game. We’ll be talking about the best actions winners have taken, while also acknowledging those moves that SHOULD have ruined winners games, but they were able to come back from. A couple of ground rules: The move has to be from the season the winner won on. I could vilify Cochran’s flip on “Survivor South Pacific”, but that has no bearing on his win on “Survivor Caramoan”. Second ground rule: It has to be one specific move. Something a winner did overall, such as their social game, isn’t the subject of this list. That said, let’s start with the best of the best, with…

TOP 5

5. Boran Throws the Challenge (“Survivor Africa”): Technically cheating a bit here, since this was a move by a tribe, not just by the winner. However, Ethan seemed to be the one spearheading this move, and it’s my list, so I’ll count it. It was definitely a risk, and I’m normally the first to come out against throwing a challenge, but it cannot be denied that this worked out well for Ethan. It kept his allies on Samburu safe, built trust with T-Bird and Frank, and pretty much decimated any hope of the old Samburu coming back together as a unified whole. Maybe not Ethan’s move alone, but definitely one that helps ensure his victory.

4. Tom Mind-Screws Ian (“Survivor Palau”): At this point in the game, Tom’s only competition was Ian. True, he probably wins the game no matter who he’s against, but it’s much more up in the air against Ian than anyone else. When the plan to oust Ian at the final four goes awry, Tom now has little choice but to duke it out against a younger competitor at an endurance challenge. No mean feat to win. So Tom, to ensure his victory, preys on Ian’s guilt, and gets in his head to the point where Ian gives up, handing Tom victory on that season, and a spot on this list. Again, I keep him low because I think he had it won regardless, but it was a good bit of insurance, just in case.

3. “Please, take this risk.” (“Survivor Vanuatu”): This, frankly, is the reason why Chris Daugherty is a winner. The man had tried and failed multiple times to break up the women, usually at the expense of Eliza. It was only when he had the brainwave to USE Eliza, rather than target her, that finally got him success, and overcome a 6-1 deficit to win. Admittedly, the idea was Scout’s, which is why Chris doesn’t land higher on this list, but without Chris’ salesmanship, it wouldn’t have worked, so he deserves some credit. Also, this means that Chris from this season now hold the distinction of being the second person to win who shares a first name with a previous winner (Natalie White of “Survivor Samoa” and Natalie Anderson of “Survivor San Juan del Sur” being the first pair to do so).

2. “Coach is gunning for you.” (“Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”): Aw yeah, now we get to talk about the awesomeness that is Sandra! For those who say her game was all about doing nothing, this is my counter-argument. She and Courtney Yates, her only ally, were dead in the water. But one simple conversation with Russell Hantz, and suddenly that paranoia makes neither of them a major target. As Sandra doesn’t even make the merge without this move, it’s safe to say it won her the game, as well as a spot on this list.

1. The Buddy System (“Survivor Redemption Island”): Look, I never said this season had no redeeming features. I just said they were drowned in a sea of mediocrity. That said, it cannot be denied that Boston Rob had a good strategy here. By isolating everyone so that his sycophants would never think of flipping, he managed to maintain his iron grip on the tribe, even when up against players better than what he had in the pre-merge. It made the season boring and predictable, but it cannot be denied it was good strategy.

Honorable Mention: J.T.’s Crocodile Tears (“Survivor Tocantins”): You may remember that J.T. gave quite the performance at the “Survivor Tocantins” final tribal council. Acting indignant and hurt at Stephen’s supposed “betrayal”. I even saw some tears there. There’s a reason J.T. was the second shut-out victory in the history of the show, but I keep this off the list proper because I can guarantee that J.T. wins the game even without this. Stephen was respected by the jury, but wasn’t worshipped like J.T. was, so all J.T. did was humiliate Stephen still further. Unnecessary, J.T. “Survivor Cambodia” would do that well enough.

BOTTOM 5

5. Jenna’s Emotional Breakdown (“Survivor The Amazon”): I’ll admit, I’m a bit reluctant to mark someone down for showing emotion on “Survivor”. That said, the fact remains that Jenna’s breakdown at the final five did her no favors. When it’s kind of a coin toss between you and your ally as to who goes home, telling people you’re ready to go is not a good look. I keep it this low on the list because I don’t think Jenna made this as a “move” per se, but not having as good control on the emotions is a mark against a potential winner, as we saw with Julie this season.

4. Sandra Throws Out the Fish (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): Yes, for all that we must praise Sandra for her awesomeness, we must also point out where she messed up. Sabotaging the tribe, especially in the early seasons of the show, was often a death sentence. Moreover, Sandra was doing this out of petty revenge for the betrayal of Rupert, rather than any strategic reasoning. It would be one thing if Sandra had intentionally tried to cover her tracks, but she just got lucky that Christa took the fall. If she hadn’t, Sandra might well have been gone out of sheer frustration from the tribe. Sandra is still awesome, but she’s lucky this move didn’t backfire on her.

3. Final 6 Rock Draw (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”): I keep this one from higher on the list because I see little Tyson could have done in this situation to prevent this, save keep a tighter grip on Ciera. That said, not having your allies in check is a sin even Tyson is not exempt from. This move really could have cost him the game had he drawn the wrong rock. True, the risk was greater for the other alliance (two members drawing rocks as opposed to one), but still, if Tyson draws the wrong rock, that season is never the same. Too much of a risk, so it earns a spot on this list.

2. Mike and the Auction (“Survivor Worlds Apart”): While Tyson’s move had the CHANCE of him going home, I’m AMAZED this didn’t send Mike home. For starters, the idea itself is bad. Going back on a deal YOU YOURSELF suggested makes you look like a dick, especially since it involves messages from home, which are always emotionally charged. No advantage is worth that in a social game like “Survivor”. But then Mike doubles down on the idiocy by then following through on the deal, meaning he gets no upside. People hate you for trying to backstab them publicly, and you don’t even get the advantage you were going for in the first place. It’s only through the grace of immunity that Mike won. This really should have cost him the game.

1. Chris Trusts Wardog (“Survivor Edge of Extinction”): This one’s a no-brainer. The only thing worse than a winner making a move that could POTENTIALLY get them voted off is them making a move that ACTUALLY votes them off. A person who wins despite their mistake costing them their spot in the game is the type of winner I just can’t get behind, if I haven’t already made that clear.

Honorable Mention: MAD (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”): I keep this one off the list proper because the idea was good. Take someone you want as an ally, and share secrets so you both have an incentive to stay aligned. This is what Adam did with Taylor regarding their various advantages (a reward steal for Adam, plus hidden food for Taylor). The flaw here is that Taylor is not exactly playing what we might call a “strategic” game, and thus has no incentive to worry about messing up his own game. Thus, he outs Adam’s deception, and Adam comes off looking the worse for it. I even wrote at the time that Adam had torpedoed his own chances of winning with this move, so it must be talked about here.

At long last, we come to the end of this season, and good riddance. I’ll say it before, and I’ll say it again: everyone involved deserved a better season. We had a cast that, while not the stuff of legend, was definitely solid and could have developed good future returnees. However, a combination of too much focus on the returnees, too many advantages, time taken away for the Edge of Extinction, and a winner who only really showed up in the last episode, means this season doesn’t really even count as “Survivor”. If it must, though, it’s the very bottom of the “Survivor” pile. At least we get a nice long break before the next season. That’ll give us time to get invested again.

But what of this blog during the off-season? Don’t worry, content will still come, but don’t expect the return of “Survivor Retrospectives” yet. Don’t worry, I still intend to finish, but they take a lot of work, and I’m just burnt out on them at the moment. That said, I’ve had a couple of ideas for new blog topics, including one feature I hope to make a regular thing, that I’ll be rolling out over the summer, and I hope you enjoy them.

Let’s end this on a high note. One positive I can say for the season: NO PLAYERS BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE! Yes, the tradition of “Idol Speculation” is finally broken, and no players have busted down my wall insisting on an audience, and closing me a lot in repairs. At last, I can go one season without calling a contractor…

CRASH!

RICK: DUN-DUN-DA-DA-DAH! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN!

MATT: GAAAAAAAAAAH!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Ghost Island” Finale: History Has Its Eyes On You

You know, it says something about your season when your finale features an event that is unprecedented, historic, an unqualified “Survivor” first… and yet it STILL feels incredibly predictable!

Let’s not mince matters: this is less of a season finale, and more of a question of “Who would win: Domenick or Wendell”. Surprisingly, the first person we cut to to answer this question is Sebastian. Granted, we’re as usual starting with the fallout from the previous Tribal Council, but even then, it seemed like Angela was the one who was most hurt over the Donathan plan not being correct. But no, it seems that power has gone to the head of Sebastian, and now HE wants to make a move. This is probably helped somewhat by the fact that his extra vote advantage can only be used at the next Tribal Council. Can’t fault the idea, but feel it’s too little, too late. Sebastian, however, thinks it’s a great idea, which will get him out of the collective shadow of Domenick/Wendell, and turn the tide of the game for him. Sure, Sebastian. And Laurel will stop being a dues-paying, card-carrying member of the cult of Dom and Wendell.

Speaking of which, Laurel goes to talk to Donathan, bringing with her a healthy pitcher of Kool-Aid. Unsurprisingly, Donathan is shocked he’s still here. Ever the loyal follower, Laurel tries to talk Donathan around to how this is them PROTECTING him, and how he should be grateful. Yeah, Laurel, shame Donathan for wanting to play his own game. No harm can come from that.

Moving on to our real stars, they spend the next morning discussing who they want gone after the upcoming immunity challenge. Will it be Donathan, the man who’s been making a big stink lately? Angela, who has the best immunity track record after Domenick and Wendell? Or could there be a shake-up, and they vote out Laurel, out of fear that she might take a few votes for old Malolo loyalty? Rather than take any of these smart options, they decide to target Sebastian, to which I must ask: WHY? Look the guy’s likable, strong, and plotting against them, but both Domenick and Wendell have him beat on the first two counts, and have no current way of knowing about the third. As far as they’re concerned, he’s their most loyal number, after Laurel. What good does it do them to target him? It’s one day later, and it STILL boggles my mind.

Evidently someone on production said “I want my maze to be seen FROM SPACE!”, as our traditional “Survivor” maze this time around is a gigantic skull-shaped one. Probst refers to it as one of the biggest ever on the show, and given how clearly visible it is from such a great distance, it wouldn’t surprise me if this was the case. What I also like about it is the presumed asymmetry. With most “Survivor” mazes, the paths to various puzzle stations have to be the same for everyone in different quadrants to keep things fair, but with three stations spaced throughout the maze, as opposed to an even number. That can’t happen. Good job shaking things up there, production!

The puzzle this time around is really cool as well. It’s another one of those “bonsai tree” type puzzles where the pieces have no clear place to be put, and this time it gets even worse. You have to actually build the circular outline of the season logo. So, not only to you have to find where the piece goes, you have to keep the structural integrity of the thing.

First to finish their puzzle and let Jeff Probst know wins immunity and a steak dinner. Wendell is the clear favorite to win this, and sure enough, he finishes his puzzle first. To make absolutely sure Probst is aware this time, Wendell yells out his name. Then he yells it again into a megaphone. Then he pulls up the billboard he rented in Fiji for just such an occasion. Then he pulls out his homemade flashing neon sign that reads “Wendell is done with the puzzle.” Just kidding. Though while the name yell is funny, I’m a bit surprised that Wendell didn’t at least go for “Jeffrey Probst”, to ensure no confusion. Hell, he could even have gone for “Jeffrey Lee Probst”, though that would have required looking up Jeff’s middle name in the Fijian islands, which would be rather difficult.

Thus, Wendell gets the choice of who to take on reward, ultimately going with Sebastian and Angela. Odd choices at first, and I was all prepared to read Wendell the riot act for this move, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I’m all for pandering to your partners, but now we’re at the endgame. There’s very little that can derail Wendell’s plans, especially since his hidden immunity idol guarantees him at least the chance to make fire for a spot in the finals. Thus, the reward is perhaps better used as a chance to curry favor with potential jurors. The favor of Donathan seems to have sailed, and Laurel and Domenick are pretty well locks for him in the end anyway. That leaves only Angela and Sebastian as question marks at this point (though really, given how Sebastian was so happy with Wendell about the shell thing, I’m pretty sure he’s good as well), and thus bringing them, and hopefully trading a steak dinner for a million-dollar vote, is worth it.

That said, I will still give Wendell flak for not taking Laurel. Domenick I understand, but Laurel is still the least-loyal of your allies, and as mentioned before, I don’t think Sebastian would have snubbed Wendell in the end anyway. Thus, probably smarter to take Laurel over Sebastian.

Sure enough, after our nice reward scene, we find that Laurel is pissed, though unsure of what moves she has left. Oddly, it’s Sebastian to the rescue, as he fills in Donathan about his extra vote, suggesting they use it to blindside Domenick. Worst case scenario: Domenick plays his idol, the person supposed to go home goes home, and chances of getting rid of Domenick improve greatly. Best case scenario: Domenick gets cocky, doesn’t play his idol, and goes home. Win-win, barring that you’re the person who Wendell and Domenick vote for. Naturally, since this plan has no downside, Laurel will be against it and immediately blab to Domenick and Wendell… Wait, what’s this? She’s actually considering it? And not telling Domenick and Wendell that we see? My God, this may actually work! Hell, they even get Angela in on the plan, thus further cementing success. All they need now is for no one to spill the plan…

And, there goes Angela talking to Domenick. I may have mentioned this before, but even if I did, it bears repeating. Angela, despite being incredibly tough, played this game at the wrong time. Her empty-nester issues were played up big time this season, and we can see the impact they have on her game. As she says, she wants to trust the people she was originally with, even if they’ve betrayed her. Despite the fact that taking out Domenick is clearly her smartest move, Angela can’t help but trust, because she wants so badly to. In life, I can’t really fault her this tendency. On “Survivor”, it’s a major flaw.

With no mystery as to the vote tonight, Tribal Council will be replaced with a magic show! Nothing up my sleeve, and PRESTO! Multiple idols for multiple people! With Donathan being uncharacteristically subdued tonight, it’s up to Domenick to make a spectacle of things. Fortunately, Domenick does this very well. He calls out the plans of Sebastian and Donathan, then to show how foolish it is, pulls out his real idol, and his fake idol. This serves two purposes. One, it scares people away from any mutinous plans. Most were convinced that Domenick had but one idol, but there was a rumor he had two. This lends credence to the rumor, especially as Domenick’s fake idol is a “real” fake idol, for want of a better term. If the stick from “Survivor Micronesia” can be an idol, so can this. Two, it’s a good bit of theater. Wendell isn’t the only one looking to score points with the jury. While Wendell is trying his best to do it socially, Domenick’s tactic is to go for the flashy moves, cementing him as the leader of the tribe. Not to be outdone, Wendell pulls out a few idols himself, one real and one fake. However, much as Domenick can be good socially, but not as good as Wendell, so to can Wendell not overshadow Domenick in flashy moves. Not only is Domenick’s theater better, but he scores points on smarts. Playing off paranoia that fake idols can be real, instead of giving up his actual idol, he plays the fake idol from “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X” pre-vote, hoping to scare people out of voting him. And it WORKS! This is crazy to me, but Sebastian does not play his extra vote. WHY? By his own admission, this is the last night he can use it! Even if you’re changing the plan and sticking with the majority, there’s NO HARM in playing it, if only to say you’ve played it! But no, Sebastian gets scared, and rightly goes home for it. Oddly, despite how I usually feel about Sebastian’s archetype, I’ve got mixed feelings about his exit. Yes, he was annoying at times. Yes, he was a bad player. But just imagine him at the Final Tribal Council. How would he have justified himself? That’s something I’d pay to see.

Oh, and this is once again a season where we randomly cut back to Probst talking to the cast and the audience before commercial. We WOULD get an interview with Sebastian, but only major characters get screentime, so instead of talking to him, we’re going to see James Clement (“Survivor China”) and Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”), because the editing and the boot order didn’t make this case seem weak enough!

Despite the reunion show no longer getting the airtime it deserves, we evidently STILL don’t have time for strategizing post-Tribal, as we head straight to our immunity challenge. It’s another puzzle/obstacle course combo that wouldn’t bear mentioning were it not for the fact that the puzzle is a trick one. Basically, four three-dimensional shapes have to build a pyramid, which is tough to figure out even when you’re not starved and dehydrated. My money’s on Laurel to win this one given her puzzle prowess, but once again, Wendell pulls out a victory. This puts him in a dilemma as to how he wants to use his idol, but we’ll get to that in a minute. For now, with Donathan clearly the next to go, let’s see what feeble attempt he has to save himself.

With almost no cards left to play, all Donathan can do is turn on his closest ally, Laurel. And, to his credit, he makes a pretty credible pitch to Domenick. Donathan says that he’d spare Domenick the fire-making challenge, since he wants to “Go up against the best”, and points out that Laurel may have more friends on the jury than him. Domenick at least entertains the idea, but quickly smells bullshit. Still, he floats the idea to Wendell, bringing back the question of who Wendell will use his idol on. After all, Wendell’s not going to pass up a chance to curry favor and look good in front of the jury. Given how close he and Laurel were, Laurel would seem the obvious choice, but now Wendell is second-guessing things. And I don’t buy it for a minute. I’ll give credit that this misdirection is at least DIFFERENT from what we’ve seen so far this season, and it’s doing the best it can with what it has, but with how close Laurel has been built up to be with Domenick and in particular Wendell, I don’t see her NOT getting Wendell’s idol.

To add on to this, it would be the smart move for Wendell to do. Again, I initially thought it might be best not to, since it might offend Domenick, but at this point, Domenick and Wendell are gunning for each other anyway, spared only by their idols. By keeping Laurel safe, you not only show your power in front of the jury, but you put someone pretty much guaranteed to keep you safe from fire-making if they win immunity. Given that Wendell also curried Angela’s favor with the reward, that means the only way he makes fire if he gives Laurel the necklace is if Domenick wins immunity. Pretty good odds for such a twist in the game.

Remember how I said that Wendell couldn’t outdo Domenick in terms of Tribal Council theater? Yeah, let this be the exception that proves the rule. There’s really nothing of note at this Tribal Council aside from idol plays, so let’s just skip straight to those. Wendell lets Domenick go first, thereby giving himself the recency effect, and then makes a big show of how he’s playing it for Laurel, and thus sending Donathan home. Point Wendell.

As Donathan was a big character on the show, we do get a nice interview with him about how he’s grown from the experience. Evidently it also gets Tai Trang’s (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”) Sia of Approval, as Donathan gets $10,000 to help care for his family. Good for him.

Once again, pre-challenge discussions fall by the wayside, as we head to our Final Immunity Challenge. Frankly, it’s the weakest of the bunch. It’s stacking alternate balls and bases, as in the final challenge from “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. It’s a tricky challenge, to be sure, but it’s one that lacks the epic grandeur one would hope for in a final challenge.

So, that one scenario where Wendell DOESN’T get a free pass to the finals? Guess what happens? Yeah, it surprised me as well. I thought for sure this was Laurel’s challenge to lose, given that it involved precision and balance, but she seemed to be the worst of the lot. We get a good bit of back-and-forth between Wendell and Domenick, with Domenick pulling out a victory. Good for him, and good for the show for keeping it quiet. Trust me, you’ll hear that very rarely in relation to this season.

Making sure we go there one last time, Domenick’s decision discussions will take place exclusively on Ghost Island. After much ooh-ing and aah-ing over the torch snuffers, we get down to our debate. Wendell, seeing the writing on the wall, doesn’t waste his breath trying to convince Domenick to take him, and instead just goes to practice fire making. Domenick quickly informs us that he debate is between the person he thinks actually has a chance at beating Wendell in fire-making (Angela), and the person he’d less like to see in the finals (Laurel). Both reasonable reasons to keep someone, but oddly, I find myself in agreement with Angela on this one. I’m not convinced Wendell loses to either of them in fire-making, so the choice is really who you want to see less in the end between Angela and Laurel. Given that Laurel is the last Malolo standing, and a better talker than Angela, she’s clearly the choice out. That said, I doubt I’ll be able to find fault in whatever choice Domenick makes.

This is not the only decision Domenick must make, though. Domenick got a note upon winning the Final Immunity Challenge, which tells him to hike to the top of Ghost Island. Here, he finds the voting urns from “Survivor The Australian Outback”, “Survivor Cagayan”, and “Survivor Game Changers”. We’re told that these are all the urns from finalist choices who “Made mistakes” (even though I agree with Mario Lanza in that Colby’s decision at least was not a “mistake”), and that Domenick must pick on in the hopes of, say it with me now, “Reversing the Curse”. Like most things with the Ghost Island twist, it’s not a bad idea, but the execution is underwhelming. Look, I like the tribute to past seasons, and they picked some of the cooler-looking urns (and the one from “Survivor Game Changers”) for the twist. My issue is that it doesn’t really add anything, other than one more brief moment of nostalgia for the superfans. You could make these urns more relevant. Granted, it’s a bit late in the season to introduce a twist, so I wouldn’t want to see that, but you could make it a symbolic thing. Maybe by picking the urn, you’re picking who you take to the finals (the note would say this, so Domenick wouldn’t be screwed by something he couldn’t see coming). Like, if you take the “Australian Outback” one you take Angela, “Cagayan” Wendell, and “Game Changers” Laurel, or something like that.

But no, all we get is aesthetic. That’s cool too, I guess.

Oh hey, you remember what I said about how Domenick really had no bad move in this scenario? Yeah, he managed to find one. For some reason, looking at the urns gives Domenick the BRILLIANT IDEA to give Angela his immunity, and fight against Wendell in fire-making. Do I have to spell out why this is a stupid idea? Well tough. I’m doing it anyway. You’re telling me, Domenick, that you would give up a GUARANTEED place in the finals, a finals in which you have an above-average shot no matter who you go up against, just to try and get Wendell out, a move that could take you from possibly WINNING the game to handing WENDELL the game? No. Not buying it. Domenick’s played too smart to get tripped up like this at this juncture. There’s no way this would happen.

I’ll give this Tribal Council this: It’s the most entertaining of the three, though mostly for one of Wendell’s comments. As before, he doesn’t shy away from the fact that he’s making fire, and tells Probst he’ll win so long as he sits at the station with the purple flag, rather than the “cursed” orange one. Salivating at people buying these superstitions, Probst points out that given Wendell’s seat, he WOULD get the orange flag, to which Wendell quips “Got any paint?” Ok, I may be tired of these superstitions, but that’s funny.

Domenick reveals to the jury that the took the “Survivor Cagayan” urn from Ghost Island for the final votes, justifying it by saying he played the game like Tony Vlachos on that season, and wants the jury to reward that. Good marks on the justification there, and it’s also the one I would have taken, due to looking the coolest. I would also have accepted taking the urn from “Survivor The Australian Outback”. The point is that Domenick did not take the “Survivor Game Changers” urn, and I respect him for that.

As expected, Domenick is NOT so stupid as to give up a guaranteed finals spot, and chooses Laurel to go along to the end with him, which as I say I can’t fault too much. Angela, not being the superstitious type, agrees to switch stations with Wendell. Unfortunately, this is a season where being superstitious helps, and Angela loses in no real contest. Can’t say I’m too sorry to see her go. I think she’s tougher than shown, but for what we got, she just wasn’t that interesting. Makes for the best Final Three.

Or rather, Final Two. There’s really no pretending that Laurel’s much of a competitor at this point, but her Day 39 confessionals do put up a good argument, going with her “Last Malolo Standing” distinction. Still, this really is the Domenick and Wendell show at this point, and while I’ve given the editors a lot of flak for repeating the same types of scenes over and over again, and for making who makes the Final Three INCREDIBLY obvious, I will say that they do a good job of hiding who wins between Domenick and Wendell. It’s the strategic game versus the social game. The bombastic figurehead versus the subtle manipulator. Even their placement in things keeps it all under wraps. Domenick gets the last word before Final Tribal Council, a spot usually reserved for the winner, but Wendell gets the last word AT Final Tribal Council, which is also usually reserved for the winner. My God, there’s actual tension here! I forgot what it felt like!

Even the jury seems to feel it, as even THEY have trouble deciding between Domenick and Wendell. At first, it seems like Domenick has the lead, as Wendell’s “I was the real ringmaster” argument was undercut by nearly everyone saying that Domenick brought them into the alliance. Domenick is his own worst enemy, though, as he continually interrupts Wendell and is belligerent on the points he makes. This rubs many people, most visibly Kellyn and Sebastian, the wrong way. Wendell may underplay his performance, and be a bit too humble, but at least the points he may stick as a result. And just to show how even a good performance can’t help you sometimes, Laurel has the best performance of the bunch. She’s confident, but not cocky. She makes her points, but doesn’t press them too much. She’s respectful, but doesn’t hold back in her arguments. She answers every question as well as she can, and what does she get? Jack diddly squat. Laurel, for all my berating, I feel very sorry for this. You did as well as you could, with the game that you played.

With Domenick and Wendell edited so evenly, who could be the winner? Why, both of them! Yes, with no clear favorite in this game, we can only end in a tie, the first ever at the Final Tribal Council. And boy, is it underwhelming! Don’t get me wrong, the novelty of seeing a “Survivor” first, and of these two competitors being so close in the end, does still have a lot of excitement. But with how even Domenick and Wendell were this season, coupled with Probst revealing the method for breaking Final Tribal Council ties back on “Survivor Game Changers”, it was pretty clear this was what it would come down to. This means Laurel gets to cast the deciding vote, thus sucking the remaining tension out of the season. I’m glad two worthy competitors had it so close, but with Laurel as your last vote, Wendell has it on lockdown. The guy most closely bonded with Laurel, who even gave Laurel immunity, you think he ISN’T getting her vote? Yeah, you’re delusional.

As Laurel goes to make Wendell the winner, I want to talk for a brief moment about the breakdown of the tie vote. We don’t get much info on why most of the jury voted the way they voted (another weakness of the new Final Tribal Council format, along with too much Probst interjection), but I think the breakdown of the votes helps explain it. Domenick got the votes of Chris, Libby, Des, Jenna, and Michael, while Wendell got the votes of Chelsea, Kellyn, Sebastian, Donathan, and Angela. Sound familiar? It should. That’s the order people were sent to the jury. I’m only hypothesizing here, but I think that Wendell’s strategy of making bonds worked better on later jury members because they had more time to bond with him/had more time for Domenick to put his foot in his mouth. Maybe I’m wrong, but that seems like a likely reason the votes broke down the way they did.

Back in Los Angeles, Wendell wins, and I’m happy, and not just because I’m a big Wendell fan. Wendell’s win here follows a historical precedent: That of the social versus strategic game. Let’s take the finals of “Survivor The Australian Outback” as an example, as it makes for one of the clearest examples of this dynamic. You had Colby, who was not subtle and played an up-front game, versus Tina, who was less abrasive, but also less visible. In that situations, as in all other times this sort of Final Tribal Council situation has happened, the vote has been close, but the social player wins out. Wendell is that social player, and once again, he wins in a narrow vote. Nice to see that, even so many seasons on, some precedents still hold.

Wendell as a winner reminds me a lot of Ethan Zohn (“Survivor Africa”), both in terms of play style and impact on the game as a whole. Ethan wasn’t the most strategic player, nor the most up-front. He made a few moves, but they were mostly in the background, and he spent his time playing to what strengths he had. This describes Wendell to a “T”. More important, though, is their legacy of what type of winner they were. Ethan reminded us that you don’t have to be a big-time schemer to win “Survivor”. Wendell, to me, helps counter the argument that one must make “BIG MOVES!” to win the game. Granted, Wendell had his share of moments, but if the winner was solely decided by who played the bigger game, then Domenick would be a millionaire. He’s not, and for good reason. Despite what the show would like to market, when subtle gameplay comes up against up-front gameplay, subtle always wins out.

The reunion show, such as it is, really doesn’t merit any talking about. We take more time to embarrass Erik and James again, plug some dumb new show, and only talk to 1/4 of the cast, including snubbing Laurel, THE FIRST PERSON TO CAST A TIEBREAKER VOTE IN FINAL TRIBAL COUNCIL HISTORY! DO YOU THINK MAYBE SHE’D BE WORTH AT LEAST A CURSORY QUESTION? Ugh, I hate to say it, but honestly, it might be time for the reunion show to die. Still do a live vote, still have the cast meet with the audience, still preview the next season, but don’t show it on tv. I’d rather have the full hour and talk with most everyone, get in-depth with the questions. If, however, we’re not going to do that again, then give us 30 extra minutes of content on the show proper, and just ignore the reunion aspect of the thing. If you can’t be respectful of your cast, don’t even put up the pretense of trying.

Oh, and next season is “Survivor David vs. Goliath”. Wow, they’re REALLY stretching for a theme, aren’t they? Biblical references are ALWAYS the audience favorite. Here’s an idea: FOCUS YOUR SHOW ON CASTING, AND NOT ON A THEME! Needless to say, I’m not super-confident about next season. It just seems like a forced and cringe-worthy thing to do.

I’ll be saving my thoughts on the season as a whole for the end of the blog. For now, let’s just focus on how my pre-season predictions hold up, starting with:

Brendan-Starting out with a mixed bag. I nailed his time in the game, but exaggerated his personality. I’ll still call this one a victory, though.

Donathan-Pretty much right, though he made it further than I expected.

Jacob-Definitely the fan I predicted, but much less smart and much shorter-lived than my prediction.

James-I didn’t have much of a read on him, and I still don’t. I did say he’d make the merge, though, so wrong there.

Jenna-Wrong. Much more subdued and longer-lived than I would have anticipated.

Laurel-Pretty much right, though she was stronger and showed less of her smarts than I would have thought.

Libby-A bit longer for the game than I expected, and less religious. Wrong on this one.

Michael-Again, wrong. The kid was savvier than I gave him credit for, and it increased his time in the game as a result.

Gonzales-Wrong, though in my defense, I couldn’t anticipate who would be sent to Ghost Island first.
Stephanie-I nailed her time in the game, but she was so much savvier than I anticipated that I’m still calling myself wrong on this one.

Angela-Pretty much right, for once on this list.

Bradley-Right. Enough said.

Chelsea-Didn’t have much of a read on her then. Still don’t now. She made it about as far as I thought, so, right.

Chris-Evidently Naviti was just the tribe I understood better, as I’m once again right.

Desiree-Wrong, as she was much calmer overall and consequently much longer-lived.

Domenick-Wrong. Much more self-control, and much better at strategy than I gave him credit for.

Kellyn-About the smarts I anticipated, but longer for the game. Mixed bag on this one.

Morgan-Wrong. There’s always one person screwed by the swap I can’t anticipate.

Sebastian-Longer for the game than I would have thought, but the guy did play about how I expected. I’ll give myself this one.

Wendell-Absolutely right. Suck it, doubters!

So, now onto the thoughts on this season as a whole, right? WRONG! It’s time once again for…

TOP 5 and BOTTOM 5!

As there aren’t enough tie Final Tribal Council votes to do a list on, we’ll instead talk about the other stand-out thing about this episode: mazes. Yes, they’ve been around since very early on in the history of the show, yet we’ve never noted what the best and worst mazes are. Time to rectify that today. Any sort of maze goes here, be it a large traditional one, a table maze, or something even weirder. Let’s look at them all with…

TOP 5

5. “Survivor Ghost Island”: Scale may not be everything, but it gets you a long way. The maze this episode may not have been the most exciting overall, but the sheer size of it makes up for a lot of that.

4. “Survivor Cagayan”: Here, I’m not talking about the final three maze, though that was cool as well. I refer instead to the vertical table maze from the one immunity challenge Luzon actually WON. Yes, I’m sure they won. We’d seen plenty of table mazes before, and they were kind of old-hat at this point, so turning them vertical was a stroke of genius. It kept an old challenge fresh, and it made for a nice comeback victory. Good times.

3. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: This one changed up the formula for your team maze by having teams run in parallel mazes, instead of the same one. This could have been confusing, but the aerial shots made everything make sense. I like how there was no order to finding the poles; that there were no clues which way to go. If you were lucky, you stumbled on a pole, and remembered where it was later. Rewarding a spotty memory is a good shake-up to me.

2. “Survivor The Amazon”: Again, mazes are a pretty common thing on “Survivor”, so you need to shake them up. From that perspective, blindfolds are maybe the best idea the show has ever had. After all, what’s more fun than trying to make people figure out a maze? Making them figure out a maze they CAN’T see! With the rain adding great atmosphere, and Butch being horribly lost, this is a fun maze for the ages.

1. “Survivor Vanuatu”: I say again: turning the maze vertical is a great idea. Doing it for your traditional “Survivor” maze, making for an impressively intimidating structure? Fantastic.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”: Our shake up this time is not getting to see the maze again, but this time with the twist that it’s not blindfolds, but the maze simply facing away from you. Probst’s commentary and the novelty of the maze being on the outside of a door you can’t see past made for a good shake-up. This one loses points, and thus ends up on the Honorable Mentions, though, because of size. It does matter, and this one is just small.

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: I’ll be honest, this list was hard to do. There’s hardly a “Survivor” maze I dislike, and really it’s only the top three on this list that I have actual dislike for. The rest, while good, are just not as strong as the others. In this case, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” loses out because of a lack of originality. Granted, on a season so seeped in “Survivor” History, you’d expect some repeat challenges, but this season always went the extra step to make the repeats their own thing in some way. This was a direct copy, and thus it earns a spot on this list.

4. “Survivor Tocantins”: Another cool idea: Have people race through the “Survivor” logo. The problem here is that with the maze being in the rough shape of a line, it was kind of boring to watch when not seen from the air.

3. “Survivor Marquesas”: This one tried to be what the maze from “Survivor The Australian Outback” was, and it did have a cool door. However, having the tribes race in the same maze was confusing, and the circle shape just does not make for a memorable challenge.

2. “Survivor All-Stars”: “Say, you know what would be a fun idea? Take the maze from ‘Survivor Marquesas’, then divide it up into easily memorized quadrants, making the challenge super-easy! Imagine how fun that will be to watch!”

1. “Survivor Gabon”: This maze brings nothing new to the table, and is just dull. It’s got no color to it, the walls are just burlap, and everything just blends together. A maze should not do that.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Borneo”: Ah, a non-traditional maze on this list. Rather than run around walls, people had to run an obstacle course while clipped to carabiners. This is a great way to shake things up for a maze, and did lead to the funny “Greg: Lost” moments. Really, it would be in the top five for sure were it not for the randomness. Most mazes can be solved with skill, but this one was almost pure luck, which demotes it to the bottom list.

No more stalling, onto my thoughts on the season as a whole. While I’ve avoided reading any other commentary post-Finale, so as to keep my thoughts my own, I did check out opinions prior to the Finale, and from what I can tell, they probably haven’t changed. I mention this to say that I hear the criticisms, and they are legitimate. The boot order pretty much let Wendell and Domenick waltz to the end unopposed. Ghost Island, while a good idea, was lackluster at best. And the editing was repetitive, not to mention clearly broadcasting that either Domenick or Wendell was our winner. All of these are valid points I completely agree with. So when I say that people are hard on this season, it’s not because I think this is an amazing season people don’t get. This, for me, falls into the category of “ok, but not great”. When I say I like this season more than others, I mean I disagree with those who call it a “Bottom 10” season. There are problems, to be sure, but worse then seasons with horrible characters on them? Worse than seasons that were predictable start to finish? This season has problems, but it’s not THAT bad, and I can only guess that such strong opinions are recency bias. Still, I can’t deny that this season feels recycled. I’m not sure whether the editors didn’t have a lot to work with post-merge, or if they were just asleep at the computer, but it seemed like we got the same scenes over and over again once the merge hit, and it REALLY detracted from the season. On top of that, I’ve always said that a strong finish for a season is much better than a strong start, and this season helps exemplify that. With rare exception, the pre-merge was great! But in being great, it got rid of all the true rivals to Domenick and Wendell, who were pretty much all on Malolo. You can’t even take the comfort of “Well, it just showcases how good Domenick and Wendell were at eliminating their competition!” Bear in mind, the only two Tribal Councils those two attended were the only Tribal Councils that a Naviti went home at. The best you can say about the pair is that they were smart enough to capitalize on the “Naviti Strong” sentiment to take it to the end. Ultimately, I would compare this season to “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”. I’m sure many of you are now thinking “Blasphemy!”, but bear in mind, I have a much lower opinion of that season than others do, due to all the best moments coming in the pre-merge episodes, and the merge episode itself. I’d say “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” hits higher highs (The J.T. Debacle comes to mind), but also hits lower lows (The post-merge essentially becoming the “Russell Hantz Show”, on the heals of a season that may as well have been titled “Survivor Russell Hantz”). That said, with fewer stand-out moments, I still give “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” the edge, but in terms of level of excitement, they follow the same pattern.

If nothing else, this season gave us a great winner. Maybe we didn’t like the season that got him there, but he’s the winner we deserve, the winner we needed right now.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Ghost Island” Episode 12: The Kentucky Public Education System

Spoiler alert: The Kentucky Public Education System is not very good! Look, I generally try to avoid racist or classist humor on this blog, as well as low-hanging fruit in general, but Donathan’s slip-up here is just too tempting to resist! Oh, not his gameplay slip-ups, though those will be dissected in great detail. I’m talking about his “If you’re going to blindside me, could you please let me know.” slip-up. Um, Donathan, I’m no longer sure if you know this but WORDS HAVE MEANINGS! Funnily enough, if someone TELLS you they’re blindsiding you, it’s no longer a blindside. It figuratively defeats the purpose. I say “figuratively” here so as not to misuse the word “literally”, something Probst does during today’s immunity challenge. Evidently the Kansas Public Education System is little better than the Kentucky one.

Moving on to non-political topics, Kellyn is understandably upset that her blindside didn’t go off as planned. In a good move on Kellyn, though, she spends less time moping and more time trying to do something about it, pulling Sebastian aside to talk. Recognizing that Sebastian and strategic talk go together like fafaru and pretty much anything else, Kellyn instead frames it as a moral issue, talking about how she feels like she’s the next to go. Sebastian assures her that she isn’t. Boy howdy, SOMEONE’S been drinking the Dom-Aid. I know that Wendell and Domenick are equal partners in the alliance, from what we’ve seen, but so help me, there’s no good way to combine the words “Wendell” and “Kool-Aid”. Point being, Sebastian really seems to be buying this stuff, forcing Kellyn to sit back and hope people come to her. Actually probably her smartest move at this point. With a solid foursome in place, there’s not much hope for her but that someone makes an ass of themselves such that they become too much of a nuisance and have to leave.

I’ll give Kellyn credit, though, at least she’s trying NEW things! We get our now requisite “Donathan wants to turn on Wendell and Domenick, but Laurel is against the idea” confessional out of the way early this time, even before our lack of opening credits. It’s the same scene we’ve seen a million times, but with a slight twist on it. Rather than simply COMPLAIN about not acting, Donathan decides to actually DO SOMETHING, even if Laurel won’t. Kellyn gets her wish of an ally coming to her, as Donathan tells her his desire to move against Wendell. Not a bad plan. Shame it won’t work. With Sebastian fully on board, and Laurel disinclined to budge, the most you can hope for is a 3-4 minority. At least it’s different, though.

Speaking of different, we get our reward challenge, which is TECHNICALLY reused, but given the changes made, I’ll give it a pass. It’s “Simmotion” the final immunity challenge first seen on “Survivor Tocantins”. I hated it there, and in subsequent instances of the challenge, because it was ALWAYS the final immunity challenge, and it just didn’t feel grand enough. Here, they solve those problems both by scaling up the size of the challenge, and making it the final reward challenge rather than the final immunity challenge, which has much less need for a grand scale. Yeah, we lose some of the complexity higher up, and having spools on “Survivor” just seems bizarre, but I’ll take what I can get this season.

Pairs are made via team captains, and I must complain about Wendell’s choice. Kellyn picking Sebastian I get. She’s trying to sway him, so taking him on reward is a wise idea. Donathan picking Laurel I also get. The pair are aligned, and it would be weird if he didn’t pick her. But Wendell picking Domenick? I get that everyone KNOWS they’re together, but whether you win or lose, that’s leaving some people alone to conspire against you. At least pick a potential swing vote like Angela or something.

Oh well, I can’t fault the pair’s skill. After some pretty intense moments, particularly a nice save by Donathan early on, Wendell and Domenick win reward. As per the pitfall of winning a reward that is not a large team challenge, the pair have to choose someone to come with them. Now, there’s an obvious move to make here, which is to take Laurel. Angela is out of the running, and Laurel is the cog in your alliance most devastating if she wavers. She is clearly the smart choice out of everyone. What I can’t get behind is how they do it. Out of respect for the other players, and so as to NOT broadcast how tight and cutthroat you are, at least pretend to discuss the decision before making it. But no, go ahead and pick Laurel without a second thought. I’m sure that will in no way piss off Donathan. Then they do the same thing when picking who to send to Ghost Island, wasting no time in picking Sebastian. Again, the smart choice. Sebastian is a loyal ally, thus keeping all advantages in your corner, but not so smart as to use it against you. But, yet again, take your time in picking him, lest you offend people.

Realizing that production still has a ton of previous advantages to get through, of course there’s a game of chance on Ghost Island. Sebastian wisely goes for it, as he’s in a fairly solid majority, and needs some sort of leverage at the end. Adding on to the incentive is the fact that evidently a 2/3 chance just wasn’t good enough, and so no the chances of selecting a key to open the advantage are 3/4. Unsurprisingly, Sebastian gets the key, and we’re left to wonder what advantage will come back this time. After all, a number of advantages were advertised previously, and we haven’t yet seen all of them. Both Lauren Rimmer’s shell idol from “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” and Stephen Fishbach’s Steal-A-Vote from “Survivor Cambodia” were known to be on the season, and could fit in the box, and yet we’ve seen neither. Which will it be?

The answer… IS THE WORST THING IN THIS ENTIRE EPISODE! Yes, even worse than the predictable nature of the boot! Look, I check the internet for “Survivor” commentary. I know the Ghost Island twist has gotten a lot of flak from people, partly for being underwhelming, partly for taking time from each episode, and partly for the games of chance being lame. And I agree, Ghost Island could be better, but I’m willing to cut it more slack than some, mostly because the producers are showing a good amount of restraint this time. But here I draw the line. The advantage is indeed a vote steal. But it is not Fishbach’s. No, it’s Sarah’s. You know, THE ONE THAT KELLYN PLAYED NOT TWO EPISODES AGO?! You haven’t even cycled through all the iconic twists and advantages of seasons past yet, and you’re already going back to using one’s we’ve seen THIS VERY SEASON? What are you thinking? On top of that this twist coming back so soon doesn’t even make sense with the “lore” of Ghost Island. Every other idol and advantage we’ve seen, the note talks about it “Sitting on Ghost Island, gaining power.” But that works because these advantages have been sitting there supposedly for YEARS, or at least a few months. Yet you’re telling me that something sitting there less than a WEEK can regain power! What fresh bullshit is this!

Ok, ok, need to learn from Sebastian and chill out a bit. Sebastian talks about how this will give him power in the game, and be his ticket to victory. Sure, Sebastian. Sure it will.

Off on our reward, we see that it is the usual “Give a bunch of supplies to the locals” reward, which I like to see. For all that “Survivor” can take and abuse the resources of non-western nations, it’s nice to see them do a little charity, and good to look at the cute kids. Even Domenick can’t help but comment on how the joy of kids is a universal language. Unless, of course, your name is Spencer Bledsoe (“Survivor Cagayan”).

While we’re on the subject of game-bot-ness, Wendell brings the talk about around to strategy, pointing out what everyone already know, which is that Laurel was brought along to keep her happy. She admits in confessional that she is happy, and that she does like Wendell and Domenick, but that she intends to turn on them and cut their throats. Sure, Laurel. Just like you were going to cut their throat all those OTHER times you gave nearly the exact same confessional. Yeah, you did a good job with the last episode, editing team, but your tricks have run thin.

On a somewhat better note, Donathan starts putting his plans for dissent into action, and he actually comes up with a pretty good plan. Donthan’s problem is that executing it well requires subtlety, subtlety he does not have. Donthan’s plan, since he can’t beat either Wendell or Domenick on his own, tries to turn them against each other. Wendell does a standard check-in, which Donathan takes as a lead-in to talk about how he feels left out of the alliance. Concerning enough for Wendell, but Donathan goes a step father and says to Wendell that if Wendell puts him on the jury, he’ll vote for Domenick. Donathan’s goal here is to try and get Wendell paranoid about the jury, and eliminate Domenick for him, or at least get Domenick paranoid enough to get Wendell out. And for all my complaints about Donathan overselling things, he’s actually ok here. His flaw is less in his delivery, and more in the fact that he’s trying this one Wendell, the guy who has the LEAST to worry about socially, and who’s the tightest in the bro-down. Where Donathan REALLY screws things us is when Domenick comes over to see what all the brouhaha is about, and Donathan repeats his lie more emphatically. Sadly, Donathan, this does not make it more believable, and you’ve now given incentive for Domenick to vote you out, both for a free vote at the end, and because you’re being annoying. Again, I’m happy that SOMEONE is finally doing SOMETHING about the dominant alliance. I just wish it had better execution.

Off to our immunity challenge, and it’s somewhat standard fare for this late in the game. Players build a puzzle bridge, solve a puzzle ladder, and do a slide puzzle to win immunity. Standard, reused fare, but I’m so happy it’s not yet ANOTHER endurance challenge that I’ll take it. Additionally, I really like the bridge puzzle this time. It’s different in a good way, as the puzzle is about finding the proper angle, rather than shape, for pieces.

As a plus for Kellyn, this is a challenge she has a really good shot at. She’s the puzzle whiz, don’t forget. True, Wendell and Laurel are both also pretty good at puzzles, and stronger than Kellyn, but these challenges so often come down to the puzzle that it doesn’t really matter.

Unless, of course, you fall as far behind as Kellyn. Granted, she’s not Angela, who only barely makes it past the bridge portion prior to a victor being declared (hilarious, by the way), but Wendell in particular gets a big lead early on. Only Sebastian is on him, and if you think Sebastian is winning a puzzle, then you’re smoking more pot than he is. Laurel and Domenick make it up, and there’s some competition between Laurel and Wendell, but that’s really the race. Sebastian has no clue, and Domenick further cements the “Tony Vlachos” (“Survivor Cagayan”) comparisons by throwing pieces around with reckless abandon.

So, while we wait for a victor to be decided, it’s time to note another milestone for “Idol Speculation”. Yes, the 200th blog just passed, but my longtime readers may recall that it’s a tradition for people from the current season (or a relevant one) to break into my apartment and shout at me their strategy. Superfan that I am, I still can’t fully get behind this tradition. You wouldn’t believe how much it costs to redo a wall twice a year. But for once, we’ve subverted the tradition. It’s the penultimate episode, and nothing has happened! They won’t be coming in next episode, because they have to be at the finale. I’ve done it! I’ve survived! No one has shown up! THERE WILL BE NO INTERRUPTIONS THIS YEAR!

WENDELL: Yo, bro.

ME: GAH! Wendell! How long have you been standing there?

WENDELL: Since the merge episode. Been waiting for you to notice me.

ME: Wait, you’ve just been standing in my room, arms outstretched, for a month and a half, waiting for me to acknowledge your existence?

WENDELL: Sure have. Kind of weird, I have to tell you. I’ve seen some stuff…

ME: Ok, ok, no need for the internet to know about THAT. Why didn’t you just say something?

WENDELL: I thought it would be cooler to just stand in an epic pose and have you notice me, rather than call attention to myself.

ME: But wouldn’t it have been smarter to have called out? Would have saved yourself a lot of grief.

WENDELL: Guess so. Nothing to do about it now. You mad at me?

ME: Actually, no. For once you didn’t break down my wall, you’re my favorite of the season, and you’re about the only person I’ve found on the internet who will call out out the rapping of Chris Noble, so that makes you ok in my book.

WENDELL: High five, bro!

(WENDELL and MATT do an epic high five)

ME: Ok, great to meet you and all, but seriously, go home. I’m sure your family misses you by now.

WENDELL: You go it.

(WENDELL exits politely).

In all seriousness, Wendell’s performance at the immunity challenge is, for once, a true “Survivor” First. Debate over whether the first declared winner or the first to finish wins immunity. Also one of the rare times you see Probst flustered. Yes, it is just as funny as you would imagine. It also creates a bit of a rules conundrum, as to whether Wendell (who finished first), or Laurel (who declared that she had it first) is the winner. Both sides have an argument. On the one hand, the way the challenge is described does say “The first to complete their puzzle wins” not “The first to declare they’ve completed their puzzle wins”. Ultimately, though, I have to side with the argument that the episode went with. Probst can’t check on everyone at once, and so it’s on you to declare you want a check. Plus, losing immunity seems like a reasonable price to pay for trying to look cool instead of just claiming victory.

Wendell’s a good sport about the whole thing, which I say speaks volumes about him as a person. It also gives Laurel excuse #85 for sticking with Wendell and Domenick despite it NOT being the strategically best move. Yep, there goes the last of the tension from THIS episode. Guess we’ll have to settle for the Kellyn vs. Donathan debates. These we get to very quickly, with Wendell and Domenick coming quickly to a consensus on Kellyn as the bigger threat, which is the correct move. Much as Donathan’s being annoying, that’s another wedge to use against him, and keep your core four solid. Kellyn, for all of her “Naviti Strong” preaching, is at least likable, and not prone to causing chaos, thus making her more dangerous in the long term. In addition, keeping Donathan keeps Laurel happy, and less likely to flip.

Donathan gets called over to be told he’s been spared, leading to the aforementioned misunderstanding of what a “blindside” is. Still, Donathan seems at least somewhat calm until Domenick and Wendell get a bit cute. Wendell, it seems has been making fake idols. Gee, show, sure would have been nice to see THAT instead of the same strategy confessional we see EVERY SINGLE EPISODE now. Granted, I’m not sure how much use a fake idol is on a season about using artifacts from seasons past, but points for effort. Also points for Wendell being the FIRST PERSON THIS SEASON to think of putting the papers in his fake. Rather than use his own (Erik’s idol from “Survivor Micronesia” is too distinctive for the note to be effective, I guess), Wendell asks Domenick to use his, and he agrees. So they do a handoff. Unsubtly. Right in front of Donathan. And then try to deny anything suspicious while obviously acting shady in front of a supposed “ally”. Yeah, Donathan may go a bit far here, but I can’t really fault him for how he reacts. Also, Domenick and Wendell, but mostly Domenick, way to NOT act suspicious and throw people off of your trail.

Donathan kicks it into high gear, and goes over to talk with Kellyn, at this point doing more harm than good, as Domenick and Wendell are now pissed, and even Angela’s tired of his shenanigans. I guess if we know that the main alliance will stay intact, we can at least get some mileage out of mystery as to who’s the target.

Tribal Council at first starts out on a slow burn, but picks up very quick. Following talk of being drained in relation to the immunity challenge, Domenick spills about Donathan’s reaction to his and Wendell’s maneuver. In a departure from form, Donathan handles this in a calm, collected manner, noting how it would be suspicious to anyone. Thus the whispering begins, with the invocation of Keith Nale (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”) via murmurings of “stick to the plan”. We also lose all mystery, as Wendell very blatantly tells Angela to stick with the “Hammock Plan”, aka, the one where Donathan goes home. Donathan remarks on the whispering, and Domenick tries to do damage control by asking if he and Donathan can talk. In a really badass moment, Donathan says “No.” Not a smart game move, but damn if it wasn’t satisfying. And for those of you who are worried about Donathan getting the last laugh, don’t worry. Donathan soon asks why he’s not being included in conversations, and Domenick reminds him that he shut down that conversation. All this lovely chaos ends when Wendell calls for a 3-2 split, making for some excitement this time around.

Indeed, the vote is a tie. Domenick gets a stray vote from Wendell, while the rest are split between Kellyn and Donathan (Kellyn having voted for Donathan in this case to save herself). Angela is heartbroken yet again, but the revote sends Kellyn home, who brags a little about her game, but overall takes it with good grace. I’m both sorry and not sorry to see Kellyn go. I think she had more game than people give her credit for, and you could especially see that in the last few episodes. As the only real strategist left outside of Wendell and Domenick (Laurel has lost the right to be called a strategist as of this episode. Sticking with Wendell and Domenick was pure emotion this time), she will be missed. That said, the talk of “Naviti Strong” did get old pretty quickly, and compared to Donathan, she’s less of an entertaining character. I mean, look at Donathan pulling up his bag at the first vote with his name. Comedy gold! Kellyn, for all her many good qualities, gave us nothing on that level.

This episode just BARELY scrapes itself out of being “bad”, and for once the mystery had nothing to do with it. I’m sure the show worked with what it had, but there was just no mystery tonight. Instead, the couple of funny moments (Wendell’s failure to be acknowledged, Donathan just being Donathan) made the episode fun to watch, if not for the overall narrative of the season. Still, as we are now down to the final episode left, it’s time once again to rank people’s winner chances. This will be tough, as there are a number of people I’d consider “tied”, and yet I don’t allow myself ties. Guess I’ll have to split a lot of hairs on this one.

1. DOMENICK: This is really close between Domenick and Wendell for me. The two have been in lockstep for so long, it’s hard to separate their games, possibly lending credence to Laurel’s “Split the votes” theory (though I doubt it). Domenick has been seen, both by the audience and by the jury, as the more strategic of the forces, but Wendell is the more social of the forces. Ultimately it comes down to jury preference. Does the social game win out, or does the strategic game. Going on past history, I’d normally side with the social game, but in this case, I think strategy may have it. This jury, while annoyed, does seem like the type that would respect strategy, rather than be resentful of it, so I don’t think Domenick has that downside. Plus, while Wendell is hard to beat socially, Domenick is no Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) or Jonny Fairplay (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) whom everyone just loves to hate. He’s had his moments, but he’s not someone you instantly dislike, which might give him an edge in a jury situation. Oh, and one can’t forget that the new jury format favors more strategic players, by Probst inserting himself in the discussion… I mean, by the players having more of a chance to speak!

2. WENDELL: Again, this was a really close one. Wendell has a few strategic victories under his belt as well, along with the social game being locked down. I see the jury not respecting that quite as much, but with a fair amount of respect nonetheless. If he’s articulate, or not against Domenick, Wendell could very easily be the winner of the season.

3. LAUREL: Perhaps a controversial call, but compared to everyone else, Laurel has the best shot. She’s got a lot of friends on that jury, and she seems like a smooth talker. If she can articulate how riding the coattails of Domenick and Wendell was her master plan all along, she might just take this thing. I don’t see how, but one must acknowledge the possibility. On the other hand, if she somehow successfully blindsides them, she’s got a much better shot.

4. ANGELA: A bit weird, seeing as we’ve seen very little of Angela, but the lady has stuck to her guns (proverbially speaking) out here, and won a few immunities. That’s worthy of some respect, and if she’s up against anyone but the threesome mentioned above, she might have a shot.

5. DONATHAN: He’s annoying everyone, jury included, and, as I’ve repeated many times this blog, not at all subtle. This at least means he’s PERCEIVED as doing something, which keeps him from the bottom spot, but with only failed rebellion credits to his name, he’ll have an uphill battle no matter who he’s up against.

6. SEBASTIAN: Truth be told, I really want to see Sebastian at the Final Tribal Council, just to see what kind of nonsense answers he’d provide. They won’t win him the game, but they should be a fun watch.

And there you have my rankings. Now, a couple of bits of business before we head into the finale. First off, my blog will be late. I’ve recently switch to first shift at my job, and while this does mean I get home in plenty of time to watch “Survivor”, it also means I have to be up at 6:30 AM. This means that writing a 2-hour blog after a show ending at 11:00 PM does not make sense. I will watch the show when it airs, and I solemnly swear not to read any other commentary before writing my blog, but I just can’t write it until the next day, without going to work sleep-deprived.

On a more intriguing note, I leave you with this. They say Ghost Island will be gone to “One more time”, yet I notice a multitude of unsmashed urns left on Ghost Island. There are a lot of fun ways they could go with this, though my guess is the final trip to Ghost Island will see multiple people go, but only one plays for an advantage. The boot order remains predictable, but that plus a Final Tribal Council with the best people left should make for a fun time then, at least.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Ghost Island” Episode 11: Invasion of the Body Snatchers

If this blog seems slightly later than normal, that’s because I needed a cold shower after viewing this episode. I hadn’t been exercising or anything, but the creepiness factor of the family visit this time had me sweating proverbial bullets.

Still, we’ll get to that in a minute. In the meantime, we get to talk about the fallout from last episode. You’d think two votes along original tribal lines would have little to no fallout, but there is from the second Tribal Council. You see, our players this time around can do basic math, something you’d think would be obvious until you remember that Brad Culpepper is a previous contestant. Since he’s not on the season, Domenick in particular quickly realizes that six votes being played at a five-person Tribal Council is a bit out of the ordinary. As Ghost Island is based around old advantages coming back into play, he correctly deduces an extra vote twist. Given that Kellyn is suspicious of Domenick and Wendell due to them not voting for Laurel as she had hoped, she keeps quiet about this, and hopes the lack of information will spread discord amongst the dominant alliance.

Or, you know, she could come clean. That works too. In fairness to Kellyn, if she’s going to come clean, she does it correctly, bluntly stating the facts and offering an apology for getting them wrong. Not bad, but I still think keeping quiet would have been better. Oh well, I guess we get to just sit and wait for the smart Kellyn to come out and realize she has no shot.

Oh, and just to make it ABSOLUTELY clear that the Domenick/Wendell alliance is taking this thing, does Domenick and Wendell not taking her fears of an exit seriously make Laurel question her alliances? Of course not! In fact, she claims that this shows that Domenick and Wendell have her back. Yippee, even more predictability.

Speaking of predictable, it’s time for the loved one’s challenge. Now, since I’m about to make fun of this in a way that is slightly more cold-blooded than usual, allow me to preface my snarky remarks by saying that I actually really enjoyed seeing these family members. Some of them (Chelsea, Sebastian) were just your run-of-the-mill nice, but we had a lot of really tender moments. Wendell and his father seemed to have a genuine bond, and it was cool to have two “Survivor” fans out at once (though points are deducted from Wendell’s father for being one of those people who names his children after himself), Donathan had a good, tearful reunion with his Aunt, Kellyn and her brother seem to have a nice bond, and Angela and her daughter had a great discussion about the trials and tribulations of having a military parent. This last moment is sadly undercut by Probst’s line of questioning. He’s usually quite good here, but really drops the ball with Angela. He goes on to ask about her, in essence, choosing the military over her family, which is A, not at all how it is, and B, incredibly insensitive even if it were true. Geez, Probst, these people have been through enough.

So yeah, nice touching moment, fun and heartwarming for all the family. Now let’s ruin the shit out of it. Never before have I seen sets of non-identical twins look SO MUCH ALIKE! Granted, these people are family, so you’d expect some resemblance, but a lot of this is freaky. Our parent /child pairs (Wendell and his father; Angela and her daughter) look like younger/older versions of their counterparts, that’s at least somewhat expected. But then it gets freakier. While they’re built very differently, Donathan and his Aunt have the same face, Sebastian and his sister have the same nose and mouth, you get the idea. “But surely,” I hear you say, “You can’t mean ALL of them! I mean, what about Domenick and his wife? They aren’t genetically related.” True. I thought they were going to be the pair that saved us from this uncanny valley of resemblance. But even THEY look something alike! Not as much as the others, and their accents probably have something to do with it, but they seem to have a similar jaw-line. It’s bizarre, and it really took me out of the moment for a moment, though I’ll understand if others don’t feel the same way.

As to our challenge itself, it’s your standard balance beam obstacle course, with the winner getting an afternoon comfy feast with their loved one. I’d complain about how overused and basic this challenge is, but given that last season’s loved ones challenge amounted to “Pull beads out of a bag.”, I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t complain about the loved one’s challenge, or the producers WILL find a way to make it even worse.

If the challenge itself isn’t very good, the editing more than makes up for it, something I’ll be saying a lot throughout this episode. It’s true we have our early frontrunners (Sebastian, Laurel, Domenick), and our early slowpokes (Angela, Donathan), but nobody falls completely out of it, and the music does a good job of keeping us in suspense, once again employing the trick of “Play the dramatic music multiple times to fake people out.” Good thing too, because Sebastian (the early, big frontrunner) wins it all, a thoroughly predictable outcome.

This also further cements Sebastian as not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, if you catch my drift. While I’m not as big an advocate for throwing individual challenges as some are, I will say that the loved one’s challenge is one you really should throw. It inevitably leads to you having to choose who gets love and who doesn’t. Being in the public allocator position is bad enough on “Survivor”, but to do it when emotions are so supercharged is practically suicide. Anyone worth their salt knows to avoid this position.

Speaking of picking people to come with, Sebastian chooses first Domenick, then Wendell, then Donathan. Not terrible picks, though given that Sebastian was never really in any power, nor in immediate danger, there’s not a lot he could have done to mess himself up. Pandering to the power players (Domenick and Wendell) is a smart touch, though I would slightly question Donathan. If you’re trying to set up that things are still “Naviti Strong”, then Chelsea or Kellyn might have been a smarter move, but again, it’s Sebastian, aka “Sea Bass”, a nickname I have not acknowledged because I think it’s stupid, and because I don’t often get to write the name “Sebastian”. I’m not giving up that opportunity for a dumb nickname. Point being, no one’s accusing him of being a Rhodes Scholar.

Unfortunately for Sebastian, not only does winning this challenge screw him, it screws him more than usual. You see, Sebastian now also has the responsibility of selecting who goes to Ghost Island, but with a twist. Giving up ANY pretense of the “game of chance” Probst admits that whoever goes gets a free advantage, thereby ensuring they will have a target on their back. Probst then explains to Sebastian the rules for selection, which are confusing. The way Probst makes it sound, Sebastian can select ANYBODY whether they won or lost the challenge, but the way Sebastian talks, he makes it sound like he has to pick someone going on the reward. This distinction is important because, should Sebastian be unable to make a decision, those not selected get to pick. Now, if Sebastian can pick from anyone, his choice is simple. Pick Kellyn, Chelsea, or Angela, thereby keeping all advantages “Naviti strong”, and prevent a tied vote from occurring with four on reward and four at camp. If Sebastian can only pick from those next to him, or himself, the choice gets harder. Thankfully, Wendell steps up to the plate. His dad is also a big gamer, and so encourages his son in this choice. A bit risky for Wendell, since everyone will KNOW he has an advantage, thus increasing the target on his back. However, on the whole, I’d still praise this move by Wendell, since he was a target anyway, and the advantage could be helpful.

We leave as Kellyn is pissed (more on that in a minute), and we head to Ghost Island. Just when you thought Jacob getting the legacy advantage was the most USELESS advantage Ghost Island had offered up yet, wait until you see what clunker Wendell got left with! He gets Malcolm’s challenge advantage from “Survivor Philippines”, the one I famously decried for sullying the sanctity that is the Final Immunity Challenge. Since this ISN’T the final immunity challenge (the note specifies that it’s the upcoming challenge), I’m ok with its presence, though the more I think about it, the more this advantage seems very situational. With an endurance challenge, unless someone lapses in concentration, or some outside force (say, the wind) steps in, one usually loses because one is just not that good at the challenge. Thus, getting a second attempt really doesn’t help that much, as it doesn’t improve your skill level. Really, Wendell’s real advantage is that he has a ball and stick to practice with, giving him an edge in that regard. Still, production is setting it up like we get an actual cursal reversal (a runner-up title for this blog), so perhaps I’m wrong.

Ok, time to talk about Kellyn being woke. Yes, after all the betrayals, after being strongarmed by Domenick, after ALL THE SIGNS pointing to Domenick and Wendell running everything, what gets Kellyn to finally move against them? Being denied the loved one’s challenge. I mean, really? I get that emotions run high, and maybe Kellyn needed her buttons pushed to move out of her comfort zone, but blaming Domenick and Wendell for this? Why had nothing to do with you missing out on your family! That was Sebastian! The worst you can say is that Wendell volunteering for Ghost Island cost you some power, and again, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR FAMILIES! Don’t get me wrong: I’m very happy that Kellyn is finally moving away from “Naviti strong”, but this reasoning, after all the other logical reasons Kellyn would have to flip, seems contrived. In fact, I bet it WAS contrived. There’s no doubt Kellyn was pissed about missing the reward, but I bet she really decided to make a move because Sebastian not picking her showed where she was in the pecking order. I suspect this was just a contrived reason that played better on camera. I understand the reasoning, but for someone as smart as Kellyn, MAN it was depressing to see her strategy reduced to an emotional upheaval, not helped by the fact that we know it will come to naught. The high emotions do make for more uncertainty than we’ve had in past episodes of late, but Laurel is surprisingly quiet, and given how she feels towards Domenick and Wendell, I doubt she’ll flip.

Donathan might, though. Unsurprisingly, Domenick uses the reward to offer Donathan and Sebastian a final three deal. A pretty good move for him, as it helps ensure his power (and given Donathan an incentive not to flip), and gives him a final three he can easily beat. Wendell and Laurel are his only possible competition (and even losing to the latter only happens with a very upset jury), so an final three without them is the smartest move for Domenick. Unfortunately for him, Donathan’s misuse of idol means he’s running more scared than ever, and it seems he has a phobia of muscles. Donathan lets us know that he’s not sure he could beat Domenick, Sebastian, or Wendell (the latter was included by proxy in the conversation) in a challenge, and so may flip on them. Now THAT is actually somewhat believable, were it not for the fact that Laurel seems to get final say, and she’s more of a stalwart ally for the Domenick/Wendell alliance.

Oh, and while I’ve been hard on Sebastian tonight, I should give him credit for at least playing the dumb surfer so well that, despite establishing a pecking order, no one targets him. Props.

We get to our immunity challenge, as mentioned previously with Wendell. It’s been gone for a while, and it is a good challenge in and of itself, so I’m not super upset at its presence. However, I must complain at YET ANOTHER ENDURANCE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE! Come on, I know they’re good, but give us some variety!

Though he’s not the first out, as expected Wendell ends up blowing his advantage by not being the best at this sort of challenge. It’s actually Domenick who pulls out the victory, much to my surprise, as he was holding his pole up much higher relative to the table than others, which seemed an unnecessary risk. Good for him, and for once immunity does have an impact, since Domenick was the intended target of the ladies, should their alliance have come to fruition.

Back at camp, we get our first death knell for Wendell as he and Domenick talk about how safe the pair of them are, and how nothing will go wrong tonight. They target Chelsea, which I have to admit in hindsight makes the editor’s slighting of her in terms of the show (four confessionals in 11 episodes when she won two immunities and was apparently a driving force being a lot of the votes this season? Not cool.) a bit more understandable. As I’ve stated in previous blogs, the flaw here is that there seems to be no real danger to the Domenick/Wendell alliance, and editing tricks can only take you so far. However, when you make the target someone like Chelsea, who’s been a virtual non-entity this season, compared to Wendell (the women’s probably target with Domenick immune), who’s had a decent bit of screen time, it makes the scenario seem much more plausible. Does it make it ok for the editors to keep her so in the dark when she made it so far and was vital to a lot of the plans this season? No, but it does at least explain things a bit better.

The women do indeed intend to go for Wendell, letting Donathan in on the plan so as to have a majority. Then, of course, we see Laurel go over to talk with Wendell and Domenick, meaning the plan will come unraveled. And it does, though not in the way you’d expect. Rather than Laurel dumping the plan in their laps, she keeps quiet, listening to them talking about targeting Chelsea, and how this makes them invincible. Rather, Wendell’s emotional intelligence comes into play. While he may not be the strategic force that Domenick is, Wendell is damn good at reading the room. Through no more than a few looks, Wendell gets the sense that something is off with Laurel, leading to a good chance of an idol play tonight.

As to where Laurel actually stands? It’s a bit hard to say. Donathan, as usual, is on board with blindsiding Wendell, with Laurel on the fence. She seems to be considering a bit more, yet all we hear from the pair is good reasons to NOT flip. Donathan mentions how they can vote out Chelsea and still get a 4-3 majority next round if needed. Laurel, meanwhile, notes in confessional that it’s a choice for her between who she can get to the end with (Domenick and Wendell), and who she thinks she can beat at the end (Kellyn, Angela, and Chelsea). Now, normally I’m in the “Go big or go home” camp, saying one should play to win regardless of how likely you are to get to the end, and it is true that I still think this is the smarter move for Laurel and Donathan, but she makes a compelling point here. While Donathan I think NEEDS to distance himself to have any shot at winning the Final Tribal Council, Laurel is well-spoken and a likable underdog, meaning she has a SLIM chance of beating Domenick and Wendell, thus giving her some incentive not to flip. That said, flipping is still her best bet. While we know Wendell at least wants her in the end, there’s no guarantee for Laurel. In reality, playing both sides of Naviti against one another is her best bet, both to get to the end and have a good argument for herself. However, she needs to do it soon, or there won’t be an opportunity to do so, and given that Domenick and Wendell have idols, the sooner the better. Worst case scenario, you flush an idol, and make things easier for yourself later on.

Credit where credit is due: this episode IS more tense than previous ones. The editing has done its level best to make this an up-in-the-air vote, and the music is so good that, despite my instinct saying Laurel and Donathan aren’t going to flip, it seems like a possibility. If they do, though, I bet Wendell plays his idol.

And it seems like it will come to that, as Donathan throws subtlety out the window, stating that there are cracks in the old Naviti, and he expects a blindside. I get what Donathan’s going for here. He’s trying to play up that he’s on the bottom to misdirect people, since that’s what he’s supposed to say. However, his lack of nuance here clearly indicates his desire to make a move, and thus indicates bad things for Domenick and Wendell. And they know it. While the rest of Tribal Council is good enough (nothing to write home about, but good), the expressions on Wendell and Domenick’s faces are priceless.

On a downer note, they refer to Donathan as dropping “Bombs”. Really? I thought we’d used up our stock with the “Ben Bombs” of “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”. I get the metaphor, and it’s appropriate, but after last season, I’m sick of the term. Something different, please!

Now, I’ve given the editors a lot of praise this episode, and they deserve it. From the music to what they emphasize, this episode is more tense than any since the merge. However, it must also be noted when they drop the ball, and they REALLY killed the tension during the vote. How so? Well, as usual with swing votes, they show people walking up and picking up the pen, maybe even taking the cap off, but then cut away before we see what they write. Naturally, as the swing votes, Laurel and Donathan get this treatment this time. The flaw here is that they wait a BIT to long to cut away from Laurel, and we see her put her pen at the bottom of the parchment. Why is this a problem? Well, a pen at the top of the parchment could make either a “C” for “Chelsea” or a “W” for “Wendell”. But tell me, who do you know who writes “W” starting from the bottom of the page? Clearly there will be no flip tonight, and while it doesn’t undo ALL of the editor’s earlier work, it comes close.

Sure enough, Chelsea goes home, with some nice words between her and Wendell about a game well played. A nice way to go out, and I’m not sorry to see Chelsea go. While she got a raw deal in the editing department, Wendell still seems like the more interesting player, so I’m much happier he stays. Also, to give the man his due, he has balls of steel! After all of Donthan’s theatrics at Tribal Council, were I in his shoes, I’d have FOR SURE played my idol. That fact that he didn’t shows that Wendell can read the room far better than I can.

Ok, ok, enough complaining. Despite the ending editing gaffe, this episode rekindled my faith in this season. It seems the editor do have enough tricks up their sleeves to make things exciting, especially with only two episodes left. Still, I think this season still goes down predictable lines.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Ghost Island” Episode 10: Lavita Loca

Frankly, this title is not clever. That is because this episode is not clever. Granted, this episode is more clever than this title, but that’s largely because most everything is cleverer than this title. Much like how this episode is more tense than last episode, but only because last episode set such a low bar. Ok, now this introduction is getting confused. Point being, this episode is a repeat of last episode, just done slightly better.

Speaking of repeating things from last episode…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Three in a row! Six more, and I get a free milkshake! Actually, this mess-up pertains not so much to last episode, but to my commentary on hopes for this episode. In my praising of the double Tribal Council, I cited it having been gone for a while as a factor in my enjoyment. Specifically, I stated that this twist had not been seen since “Survivor Redemption Island”. In fact, I was slightly off, as this twist was last used on “Survivor South Pacific” one season later. Now, this still does not defeat my point here, but it does make me lose some cred as a “Survivor” nerd. However, as those two seasons are considered by many to be part of the worst four-season run the show ever had, I think I can be forgiven for my encyclopedic knowledge failing me this time around.

As one would expect from a blindside, there’s fallout from it, but not the fallout one usually sees on “Survivor”. Rather than questioning or screaming, there are instead hugs and kisses. Domenick is very happy that Laurel gave him the correct intelligence. He credits her with saving him, despite the fact that he was never a target, but whatever, one big happy family. Laurel, for her part, returns the love, noting once again that Domenick and Wendell have become her “Ride or Dies”, thereby sucking what little dramatic tension was left out of this season. What’s that? You say there’s still a couple of spots left? Don’t worry, the ending of this episode will take care of that.

The next morning, Wendell and Domenick talk about how close allies they are. Why, they even make goo-goo eyes at each other. Not since Rodney and Joaquin on “Survivor Worlds Apart” has there been such a bromance. Only this one ISN’T made up of douchebags, so it’s much more fun to watch. Wendell then takes the time to spell out the alliance, noting that he and Domenick are riding the “Naviti Strong” train to weed out their competition, while having the sub-alliance with Laurel and Donathan, allowing them to take it all. To their credit, as I’ll come back to later, they HAVE done a good job of hiding the alliance. People like Kellyn are definitely AWARE that Laurel is working with them, but they clearly have no idea how deep. Where Domenick and Wendell differ, however, is in how they feel about each other. Wendell goes what we might call the “Rupert Route” (so named for Rupert Boneham of “Survivor Pearl Islands”), and says he’s with Domenick to the end, and will not vote him out. Domenick, however, while he wants to work with Wendell, admits that he’d cut him loose, should need dictate. Wow, even for a season with weak misdirection like this, that’s pretty lame. I’m sure some people will say “It’s the end of the Domenick/Wendell alliance!”, and it’s definitely concerning for Wendell that Domenick doesn’t quite share his feelings. However, it’s pretty clear that Domenick meant this in a “Him or me” type scenario, not that their alliance was breaking down. No, after tonight, there’s pretty much no way that happens.

This talk does segway into more idol hunting from Domenick, and it’s not too long before he finds a suspicious looking coconut. Inside he finds a fake idol, but not the one he made. Instead, he finds the one made by David Wright on “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, which I have to say looks much more authentic with the hot pink paint having faded somewhat. As indicated above, though, this idol has NOT gained power, and is instead just a fake for Domenick to use to fool somebody. I both love and hate this. I do love the fact that this plays with our expectations. The note sounds similar to real idols, and this is the first time that production has planted a fake idol. On the other hand, Domenick’s shown himself to be not so bad at the “Fake Idol” game himself, and thus this all feels kind of pointless. There are far fewer ways a fake idol can impact the game, and all this really lends us is possible future Domenick scheming. We could have been building relationships, or coming up with convincing misdirection, but nope, gotta find that fake idol!

As one would expect with a double Tribal Council, we cut immediately to challenge time! We do have yet ANOTHER endurance challenge, but this one at least is original. Rather than balancing something or pushing up against something, tribe members pul up on a bar to keep a ball against a pole. Last two people standing win immunity at the upcoming double Tribal Council. Not the worst challenge, and I get why they did it here, but again, I could use some variety.

So, how will we divide up who gets immunity? Will it be a gender-divided contest yet again, or will we finally get to see everyone duke it out in an all-out brawl? Unfortunately, we get neither, and my disappointment with this twist comes to fruition. It is NOT taking its cue from the double Tribal Council or “Survivor South Pacific” gone by, but rather from the merge Tribal Council of “Survivor Fiji”, infamously the WORST Tribal Council the show has ever had the misfortune to have. Players will be randomly divided into two teams of five, with each individual five some going to Tribal Council with one person immune. To make things SLIGHTLY more interesting, the team that wins outright gets to go to Tribal Council second, both getting an early peek at who the other team voted out, and getting their bootee extra prize money. Whoop dee do. SO much better than a straight-up double Tribal Council.

Now, before I go further, let me state that this twist is not AS bad as the one in “Survivor Fiji”, for two key reasons. One, it’s coming later in the merge, so alliances have had more time to form, thus making things less of a crapshoot. For another, talking pre-Tribal Council is allowed, thus preventing Probst from engaging in a cheep line of questioning. I can also understand WHY production would want to do this. “Naviti Strong”, and the relative dominance of the Domenick/Wendell alliance has been sucking the life out of this season, as I indicated at the top of this blog, and dividing up the merged tribe means the possibility of a shake-up, even if only for one vote. But the fact that so much of it comes down to luck still bothers me. I know that “Survivor” involves luck, more than most people are willing to admit, but this just seems like a bit too much this late in the game. Plus, the twist doesn’t even work in that regard! One team has Domenick, Wendell, Laurel, Kellyn, and Michael on it, while the other has Jenna, Donathan, Angela, Chelsea, and Sebastian on it, meaning the original Naviti STILL has the numbers, not matter how you slice it. So all this does is slightly speed up the Pagonging. Granted, that’s hardly a BAD thing, but not enough for this lopsided twist, especially when a straight double Tribal Council would have worked so much better.

Ok, ok, calm down. There’s still a chance for this to work out well. If Michael wins immunity, the Domenick/Wendell alliance will have to eat each other early, making for some great drama. What’s that? Michael’s out super early in this challenge? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So much for that!

As if this challenge couldn’t be any more anticlimactic, no one exciting wins on the other team either. Chelsea wins again, and once again is rewarded with exactly ZERO confessionals. She must be so pissed at production right now. It comes down to a friendly rivalry between Domenick and Wendell once again, with some good trash-talking between the pair. Domenick ultimately pulls out the win. It changes nothing, but good for him.

Back at camp, we discuss Michael’s options, as Domenick has given the order that Michael is to be the next to go. Frankly, Michael’s options are few. His best hope is to get the idol that Donathan foolishly found with him around. True to my dire warning from earlier, Donathan refuses to give Michael his idol, and as well he should. Michael is tough competition, and never seen as a super-close ally for Donathan. Playing an idol on someone else is risky at best, and playing it for someone you have only the most tenuous of alliances with? Really not worth it. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that Donathan looks like a jerk for not having over the idol, and can pretty much guarantee himself a lost jury vote. Michael’s backup plan is to simply FAKE that he has an idol, and hope that his paranoia will infect the rest of the alliance and save him. Kind of a flimsy plan, but given how solid this alliance has been so far, I can’t say I fault him for going this route. And I’ll give him credit, he’s quite a good actor. He neither over or underplays it, but does pull off the convincing look of a guy who has an idol. It’s no wonder some people believe him later.

Michael first floats his idol lie to Kellyn, which initially struck me as a poor decision. After all, even if you convince Kellyn, it’s unlikely that Laurel, Wendell, and Domenick will turn on each other, and if they think you’re voting Kellyn, worst case scenario she goes home, and they stay loyal. However, Michael’s wisdom is soon understood, as it turns out that while Kellyn may not have the most power, she DOES have the most paranoia. She falls for the acting job hook, line, and sinker, and thus floats the prospect of eliminating Laurel to Domenick. Domenick is his usual, diplomatic self, and flat out tells her that no, Michael doesn’t have an idol, despite very little evidence. To be fair, Domenick finding the fake idol might indicate that there is no real idol re-hidden, but that’s flimsy evidence at best, and as Domenick doesn’t share his evidence with Kellyn, he just comes off as crazy. More sympathetic is Wendell, who tips a hat to Michael’s acting ability and admits that Kellyn may have reason to be concerned. Showing of HIS acting chops, Wendell subtly implies that he could vote for Laurel to Kellyn. Privately, however, he wants Laurel safe, and like any good ally, warns her of the impending votes. Naturally, this makes Laurel scared, since, to emphasize the point yet again, Michael has done quite a good acting job in this situation. Seeking reassurance, Laurel asks that the vote switch to Kellyn, which might not be a bad plan. The only thing that could potentially undo the Domenick/Wendell alliance (apart from a defection by Laurel, which seems less and less likely with each passing episode), is Kellyn getting off the “Naviti Strong” train, and using that enormous brain of hers. In that sense, she’s arguably more of a threat than Michael. Wendell, in confessional, still wants to stick with the plan, and even if Wendell DOES think Michael has an idol, it’s still a smart more. Worst case scenario, you’re probably not going home, and even if you thought that, you have an idol in your pocket. Laurel may not be too happy, but she’s one vote on the jury, and you can explain your plausible deniability on Michael’s idol. And, since we as the audience know Michael has no idol, there’s really next to zero risk.

What COULD put Laurel at risk is Kellyn’s extra vote. Yeah, remember that? Neither did I. You know you’ve got too many advantages in a game when you can’t keep track of them all. Kellyn intends to use it tonight to pile an extra vote on Laurel, which makes sense. If Michael’s immune, she’s a likely target, and so having one extra safety vote for someone who’s not you is a smarter play. Thus, Laurel takes her concern over to the other group of five, who are having their own strategic kerfluffle.

This kerfluffle, however, is simpler. With neither Sebastian, Chelsea, nor Angela being the great strategic minds of our time, they quickly agree that Jenna has to go, using Donathan as a decoy. A smart plan, but I guess that means that the “Sebastian/Jenna Romance” thing was all for naught. Jenna, not giving up, angles for Donathan’s idol, which he’s tempted to give over. I understand the temptation here a bit more than I do at Michael’s request, since Jenna is closer to Donathan, and it would be a resume-builder, but even so, it seems like an unnecessary risk for someone not in your core alliance. The talk does get Donathan slightly spooked, and so he and Laurel go off to confer in the Spooky Shack… I mean, the jungle. Laurel is truly concerned that she’s in danger and so Donathan considers giving HER his idol, something that I could actually get behind. If Donathan gives Jenna his idol, it’s possible HE’S in danger. Giving Laurel his idol still puts him in danger, but no more than not playing it at all, and helps save someone who’s ACTUALLY a close ally of his. But no, Donathan acts like he’s going to do the stupid thing and give it to Jenna, citing wanting to save his friends to “reverse the curse”. Personally, I don’t buy it. Donathan’s no strategic mastermind, but he’s not an idiot, and saving Jenna would gain him so little, I personally don’t see it happening.

Still, I’ll give the episode this: there’s at least SOME credible tension at both Tribal Councils. Will Donathan do a stupid and play an idol that votes himself out? Will Wendell protect Laurel and all costs, swinging the vote towards Kellyn? Both more plausible scenarios that save this episode from being awful, but again, comparing it to the previous episode, that’s not saying much.

Our first Tribal also sees us without our good Tribal Council talkers, and is thus quite dull. As such, let us skip ahead to the only interesting part of this: whether or not Donathan will do a stupid. At first it seems like he won’t, and then he stops Jeff Probst. Fortunately even Donathan is not stupid enough to vote himself out, and does play his idol, but on himself. Frankly, this is a move I can’t fault too much. While Donathan clearly wasn’t going home from our perspective, there was risk from his. All his main allies were on the other team, and given the whole Jenna/Sebastian romance, there’s a chance he could be axed unexpectedly. Whether or not this reverses the curse is unclear, since Donathan did play the idol and negate votes, even though he didn’t need to. The point is that Jenna goes home, and I’m not at all sorry. Name one thing that Jenna did on this season, besides romance Sebastian. I’ll wait. Yeah, she was kind of a non-entity this season, and probably to be the forgotten cast member this time around. I’m sure some would argue that Chelsea should get this honor, but oddly for me, the fact that we’ve seen so little of Chelsea makes her more notorious than Jenna. It’s sort of like Purple Kelly on “Survivor Nicaragua”. Yes, she did nothing, but she did SO little she’s actually more memorable than the people who actually did stuff. Jenna, you seem perfectly nice, but on “Survivor”, you’re a non-entity.

That being said, I call bullshit on Jenna not getting final words aired. However much of a non-entity you may have been on a season, everyone deserves at least that much respect, and it’s not like there was no way to record them after the second Tribal Council. Again, bullshit.

Since all the good show-biz people were in the latter team, their Tribal Council is much more entertaining. Granted, we start off on an awkward note, with Kellyn making comments about how attractive Michael is. Not saying that Michael isn’t attractive, far from it. However, even with Michael’s lying about his age, Kellyn believes she is still a good TEN YEARS OLDER than he is. A little creepy, if you ask me.

I’ve been giving Michael all the acting props, but I should be giving plenty to Laurel as well. She can amass laurels, if you will. The lady KNOWS she’s in with Naviti at this point, but does SUCH a good job of acting like a Malolo with nowhere to go that even I was convinced of it for a minute, and I know where her loyalties lie! You go, girl!

There’s also some good whispering from Wendell and Domenick to up the tension, though I do wish we found out what they were talking about. Still, I do want to highlight something Wendell did this episode. It was commented on “Inside Survivor” that Wendell was playing to the jury, being about the only person to directly address them, and in a diplomatic manner, no less. Since this got pointed out, I’ve been watching for him to do it again, and he did it tonight. He acknowledged the threat of an idol knocking out an “innocent bystander” indicating Libby in this regard, and thus hopefully indicating to her that he sympathizes. There’s that social game I know and love! That said, I’m not sure how well it worked in this instance. Libby seemed more offended at being called an “innocent bystander” than flattered at being acknowledged.

We have a pretty tense vote, where Kellyn does player her extra vote, as she should. I’ll also give her credit that she does a damn good job of hiding said vote, such that no one knows who played it, which could make for some good chaos next episode. This play, however, results in a tie, with everyone save the immune Domenick receiving votes (Michael voted for Wendell, Laurel voted for Kellyn, Kellyn’s two votes went for Laurel, and Wendell and Domenick both went for Michael). This removes all tension, as Michael rightly goes home on a revote. I can’t say I’m sorry to see him go. While I did grow to like the guy, and he was way smarter than I gave him credit for, his storyline was just getting too repetitive, and this season has too much of that as-is. Wouldn’t mind seeing him back at some point though.

Everyone this episode, I would argue, made the correct moves given the information they had to go on. While this keeps me sane, it also makes for an odd episode. I can’t outright dislike it, as we DID have some good misdirection, but again, for this season, that’s not saying much, and this ultimately cements Domenick, Wendell, Laurel, and Donathan as the final four in case they weren’t already. With no sign that Laurel and Donathan will flip anytime soon, and only eight people left, even assuming that Kellyn rallys Chelsea, Sebastian, and Angela to her side, it’s still 4v4. When that happens, it comes down to idols and advantages. Wouldn’t you know it, but all of those are now in the pockets of Domenick and Wendell after tonight.

Think I’m just blowing smoke? Here, let me predict right here, right now, how the rest of this season will go. Kellyn is gone next episode. She’s the only real strategic left to the Domenick/Wendell alliance, and with her paranoia getting the best of her, they will be able to convince Chelsea, Sebastian, and Angela that she’s too unstable. This gives the Domenick/Wendell alliance complete control for the next few votes. Chelsea goes next, having won at least two immunities at this point, and being Kellyn’s lieutenant. After that they’ll take out Angela, as she’s smarter than Sebastian and has probably won more immunities. Sebastian will lose on a puzzle and be voted out, bringing us to the final four, where things get more interesting. Here’s where the season gets less predictable, and where my enjoyment will subsequently perk up again. My guess is either Domenick or Wendell wins immunity, and keeps the other safe. Laurel and Donathan make fire, with Donathan most likely losing, and thus giving us one of the more competitive final three’s I’ll have seen. Then it will be interesting, but until then, a slog.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Ghost Island” Episode 9: The Complainer is Always Wrong

Rather than start you off with an introduction to this blog, I’m instead going to apologize. I’d been good so far this season about making sure that my blogs came out on time. Despite my dire warnings of the new housepet wreaking havoc, she has so far been fairly immaterial to viewing “Survivor”, and she continues to be so. No, my cable decided that YESTERDAY would be the perfect day for the sound to go out on CBS, and given that I had to wake up early today, I thought it the better part of valor to go through the long way of resetting the cable, and just catch the episode the next day. Sadly, while I did my best to avoid spoilers, I foolishly went on Facebook, and accidentally saw who the boot was. Granted, the boot this episode is the person I thought was going to be the boot before the episode aired, so hopefully this spoiler won’t color my opinion on the episode too much, but in case it does: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Speaking of sorry, it’s time for another:

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Not only is it bad enough that I have these two episodes in a row, but I in fact missed TWO THINGS last episode. First and foremost, I was so busy pointing out how Wendell was being an idiot at the top of last episode that I neglected to mention the actually GOOD gameplay at the top of last episode. Domenick admits to the group that he was being kind of an ass about the whole Chris feud, and swears to play a more quiet game. This is a smart move, and one that helps make Domenick less of a clone of Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”) for me. Granted, we’ll see that this lasts pretty much only one episode, but it’s a good attempt, at least. My other missed point concerns Michael, and his pitch to Angela against Domenick and Wendell. While he did bring them up as targets, Michael also brought up Kellyn as a possibility, and this is who Angela went to first after the news. While this does prove that Michael has his finger on the pulse of who’s running things, I think it was a bad move to suggest targeting Kellyn to Angela. Bear in mind, it was Domenick and Wendell who burned Angela earlier in the season. They’re the people she has a vendetta against, and they’re the ones she’s likely to turn against. Kellyn, on the other hand, is the one who successfully brought Angela back into the fold, and with Chris gone, most likely her closest ally. Angela is probably not keen on targeting her, hence part of why Michael’s plan failed.

Fallout from the exit of Libby just about equates to her impact on the game: Virtually nonexistent. Thus, we start of the next day with Domenick telling Laurel about a dream involving the pair of them and egg-and-cheese sandwiches. Thankfully there is no dream interpretation, and we move on to Desi talking about managing the hunger by growing up on the streets. What’s this? Character development for an under edited player, and a fairly interesting story? Scratch that! Time for a strategy confessional we’ve seen a million times before! Desi gathers the Malolo Four and suggests targeting Kellyn, then Domenick and Wendell, to shake things up. In the process, Desi reassures them that the Naviti Seven, as they are now known, are not tight and will eat each other. Now, I’m a bit conflicted about what Desi is saying here. On the one hand, what little we HAVE seen of her games makes her seem more of an equal partner than a subordinate, at least in relation to Kellyn. On the other hand, Desi probably has a better grasp on where she is than we do, and it’s probably not a bad idea to make nice with the Malolos, should you want to use them down the line. The flaw in the plan is Desi’s execution. There’s a time where Naviti may have to use Malolo to better themselves in the game, but with eleven people left at the start of this episode, now is not that time. It’s just too many people, and too high a likelihood that someone will use this to turn Naviti against you, Desi. Better to just lead with the subtle hints, such as the “Naviti won’t stay strong forever”, to give people hope and a desire to work with you, but not plant incriminating evidence for yourself. Ah well, the fruits of her labors will be seen soon enough.

More evidence that this season is on a downward trajectory: they pulled the reward challenge from “Survivor Fiji”. Yes, “Survivor Fiji”. Going for the creme of the crop there, CBS. Teams of five, starting with two in a boat, will row said boat to prison cells that must be untied, freeing three tribe members. Then it’s your basic block picture puzzle at the end, with the winning five-some getting a picturesque picnic, while a member of the losing five goes to Ghost Island (the sit out is eligible for neither reward nor Ghost Island, both of which seem missed opportunities to me. It sucks when someone is left out of everything pure for challenge considerations). To be fair to this challenge, this is one we haven’t seen in a while, and the puzzle is devious, as there are actually extra pieces, but this is not stated to the contestants, leading to fun moments where they have to figure it out on their own. The puzzle ALMOST makes up for the rest of the challenge, but unfortunately, the bad of a post-merge team challenge circa “Survivor Fiji” is enough to sink it still.

The orange team consists of Sebastian, Michael, Kellyn, Chelsea, and Jenna, while the purple team consists of Wendell, Domenick, Laurel, Angela, and Desi. Fairly evenly matched, all things considered, at least until the challenge starts. Not sure where Wendell and Domenick learned to paddle a boat, but for some reason of “Have someone paddle at the back.” is beyond them. This gives the orange team a bit of a lead, which in a puzzle challenge wouldn’t be such a huge deal, were it not for the fact that orange also has the best puzzle solver of the season (Kellyn) with them, and thus makes the conclusion all but certain. Probst tries to amp up the drama by saying “reverse the curse” on Malolo again, but A, this is not the MALOLO team but the ORANGE team, and B, Malolo already reversed their curse right before the merge. You said so yourself, Probst. The inevitable rock draw happens, and Angela gets to be the one sent to Ghost Island this time. Yay. Way to make NO STRATEGY happen back at camp, as the in-control foursome of Wendell, Domenick, Laurel, and Donathan are left with Desi, who wouldn’t want to talk to them anyway.

Oh well, at least we may get some strategy on the reward. After our admittedly gorgeous nature shots, and Sebastian narrating said nature shots, the strategy talk resumes. Reiterating the now obvious point that rewards are a good time to get on people’s good sides, Michael gives a pretty good pitch, all things considered. Rather than openly strategize, which would make him more of a threat, Michael acknowledges his position on the bottom, and merely states that he hopes to be used as a number. This good pitch is met with mockery from the Naviti on reward, with Sebastian of all people giving a half-hearted “Yeah, that could happen, I guess.”, which is island-speak for “No.” This gives Kellyn well-deserved confidence, and she admits that he game is exactly where she wants it to be right now. I’m sure this confessional is is NO WAY ironic, and will be proven true as the episode goes on.

Angela finds that she gets to play for an advantage on Exile Island… I mean Ghost Island. Ok, seriously, I’ve been SO CLOSE to writing “Exile Island” several times, and I’m amazed I’ve lasted this long without making that mistake. I don’t mind the “Ghost Island” twist as much as some people, but apart from giving the season a name, there’s really no reason for it not to be “Exile Island”. It works pretty much the same way.

Anyway, Angela gets the same deal that Kellyn got last time, namely that she has a 2/3 shot at getting an advantage, but risks not voting in the process. Angela analyses that with Naviti going strong, her vote is of little consequence, and thus she can risk it. Astute, correct analysis. Unfortunately, Angela makes the fatal mistake of picking the unlucky rightmost chute, which has the no-vote in it. Angela curses her bad luck, we berate production for doing the same thing repeatedly, and we move on.

For the first time this episode, I’m wrong, as we DO get a bit of strategizing back at camp. Laurel and Donathan debate whether or not to go with Desi’s plan. Once again, Donathan seems to be the main person who’s gung-ho for it, and once again, Laurel seems to be the one to shoot it down. Frankly, I’m not surprised. As I’ve hinted at, it feels like the dynamic that played out last episode, but with less mystery. The fact is that if Laurel wasn’t willing to move when she felt burned by her core alliance, she’s not going to move now, when she’s clearly made her bed with them. This scene also has the unfortunate side-effect of really making Donathan seem like a bit player. He’s definitely fun and likeable, but any delusions of him being in power are gone. He’s riding Laurel’s coat-tails, nothing more.

Laurel informs Domenick about Desi’s plan, thus beginning to shake him out of that “Calm and collected” strategy he had been doing so well at. Admittedly, Domenick’s first response is actually quite measured, but give it time. Domenick informs Kellyn of the plot, thus shaking up Kellyn’s whole world. Oh, the irony! I could never have seen this coming!

Meanwhile, with the Malolo people, despite Michael’s valiant attempts at relationship-building, the man reads that he’s still on the bottom, and thus goes in search of the idol. Donathan agrees to go with him, which Michael is somewhat wary of, and with good reason. Donathan is the one who finds the idol, specifically the one held by Scot Pollard on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, a much better season to be pulling from than “Survivor Game Changers”. While there is some hyperbole to be had here (I really don’t think Tai’s betrayal is one of the “biggest” there ever was, and the snubbing of Aubry’s role in that blindside displeases the Aubry Lobby), I do like the twist they do with this idol. Rather than work on it’s own, it requires Tai’s half of the idol, aka the half that was never played, in order to make a regular idol. This makes for a more authentic curse than we’ve seen. Tai’s half of the idol is hidden under the shelter. Sadly for Donathan, he’s not as “sneaky sneaky” as Kelley Wentworth, and thus requires help to get it. He first enlists Laurel’s help, which I can get behind, since the pair are close allies. Then, however, he also needs Michael and Jenna, which I have a harder time with. Maybe Jenna, just to keep your Malolo options open, but at this point, Michael is the primary target. If he knows you have an idol, and you don’t play it for him (since, after all, your train seems to bit hitched to Laurel, who in turn is hitched to Domenick and Wendell), then that’s an unnecessary betrayal. Still, at least Donathan gets an idol out of it, and I have to say, this is a good use of “Survivor” History. Rather than just repeating what we already know, we get a twist on the old idol concept, but a twist that makes sense given how events went down. Be happy. This is the highlight of the episode.

While our immunity challenge is at least individual, it still sucks. It’s the “Balance the ball on a plate with two ropes” challenge which was boring to begin with, and is now overdone. At least this one goes quick, with over half the players falling out in the first two minutes. Our bland challenge is won by the bland Chelsea, and we move on.

Without immunity, Michael would seem to be the obvious target, but the wrath of Domenick has been aroused, and he wants Desi gone. Here’s where Domenick flies off the rails. Now granted, he doesn’t go quite as far as he does with the Chris vendetta, but he’s still seen strongarming a lot of people, particularly Kellyn. Kellyn, being die-hard Naviti strong, talks to Desi and Chelsea, who both deny wanting to make a move. From what we’ve seen, it’s true of Chelsea, but Desi has to lie, and lie she does, saying that Laurel (Domenick had mentioned to Kellyn that Laurel was the one who passed information) is making things up to try to break them up. Kellyn seems convinced, so now all Desi has to do since her plans have blown up is lie low and wait for things to shift back to Michael. But no, she has to go and berate Laurel for blowing up a “good” plan. Wendell enters the area, and Desi abruptly and bluntly changes tactic, berating Laurel for a conversation that “never happened.” Now, the flaw here is not Desi’s lie. It’s definitely a good one, and Desi, for all her bad moves this episode, has an AMAZING poker face. Desi’s flaw is not going with this lie from the beginning and sticking with it, thus keeping suspicion off of herself. Oh, and being too forceful about the lie. When Desi leaves, and the Malolo bring Wendell in on the conversation, even though Wendell doesn’t know what’s going on, Malolo seems more truthful by demeanor alone.

Ironically, Michael gets an offer of an alliance only when he DOESN’T try and do something. Domenick is again paranoid, and so makes Michael and alliance offer. I don’t think it’s super serious, and it’s a good move on Domenick’s part ot keep his options open. Less good is what happens with Kellyn and Domenick. Kellyn is getting more and more paranoid, but more good reassurances from Desi keep Kellyn wanting to go for Michael. Domenick keeps strong-arming against Desi, though, leading to an outburst from Kellyn about how she always goes with what the guys want, and now the guys should go with what the girls want, in this case Michael.

Now, I’m jumping ahead a bit here, and spoiling the boot slightly early, but I want to talk about the implications of this scene because I think it explains something about how this season is being received. Personally, I’m enjoying this season a lot, and certainly way more than “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, but even I admit that the last couple of episodes have been weak. Still, I couldn’t quite understand the hate until tonight, and now I think I get it. The problem here is not technically a Pagonging, but something of a similar nature. The problem is that our top four (Domenick, Wendell, Laurel, and Donathan) have no real competition. Once it was clear that their side would win out over Chris, the story was written. Pretty much anyone who could match them on a social or strategic level was voted out pre-merge. Smart for them, but boring for the audience, who now have to slog through a LOT of the less-good characters of the season (name one thing about Sebastian, Jenna, or Chelsea. I’ll wait.) in order to get to anything interesting. True, the episode can be EDITED to be more tense, but like the boy who cried “Wolf!” there’s only so many times you can get away with this before we stop believing. I bring this up with this scene because at this point, their only real competition left is Kellyn (some would argue Michael as well, and while he’s better than expected, he’s not on the same level as the rest of the strategists this season, so short of an immunity run, he’s not really a threat), and she’s so blinded by “Naviti Strong” that she’s not really putting up much of a fight. Even tonight, when she seemed ready to wrest control from the guys, she STILL kowtowed to their way, and eliminated Desi. Thus, the next few episodes just seem like a slog with an obvious outcome, rather than an exciting roller-coaster ride it should be. As for myself, I personally think the four who are in control are the most likable and interesting people left (save for Domenick, and even he gets in a good line now and then), and thus I’m happy to see them succeeding, but if you’re someone who DOESN’T like them, then this is not only a slog, but a slog to an outcome that isn’t fun. It’s a bit like the problem with Kim Spradlin’s win on “Survivor One World”. Even if she’s a good player, and even if you liked Kim, the fact that it was so obvious just removes the entertainment week to week. This isn’t quite as a bad as that, since it’s a group dominating the game instead of the individual, but it’s still pretty bad.

To the episode’s credit, Tribal Council is at least entertaining, as one would expect with Desi on the defensive. Things kick of with Desi and Laurel both giving their sides of the story. Desi in particular states that she’ll tell her side once and leave it at that. Once Donathan contradicts her story, she flies into a rage, arguing loudly and often incoherently. Pretty much all of the old Malolo speak up calmly against her, and it makes for a fun contrast that only adds to the credibility of Malolo. Even the vote reveal manages to eke out a bit of tension, by showing four Desi votes before two Michael votes, making it seem like it will follow the pattern of the second person revealed being the victim. But, as mentioned, Desi goes home. I can’t say I’m too sorry. While I can’t say anything bad about Desi, she just never really made an impact. Michael, at least, provides a good underdog story. Plus, I’d say it’s the right move for the Naviti people, if the goal is to stay united. Even if Desi wasn’t allying against you, she’s still stirring up disunity by arguing. In addition, keeping Michael around gives you a common enemy to rally around, and with ten people left, his threat to immunity is still relatively minimal.

Good move, bad episode. The drama was really just gone, and it’s starting to drag down the season. Point being, we lost too many players too early. We needed people like Jacob and Stephanie still around to add fun and strategy to counter the main alliance, and we just don’t have it. I’m not writing the season off yet, but for the first time since the premier, it’s slipping in my mental rankings.

Still, next episode looks promising. Not only is it the 200th blog of “Idol Speculation”, but we return to a Double-Tribal Council, of the type not seen since “Survivor Redemption Island”. Unlike most things from that season, I look forward to its return.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.