Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 8: They’ll be Dying in No Time

While by no means the aspect of the show most emphasized by the fandom, let it never be said that the literal survival aspect of “Survivor” is a non-factor. Yes, it gets emphasized less and less, mostly due to the social and strategic game being overall more fascinating to a viewing audience, but the elements and day-to-day survival should not be ignored. One of the best ways for this aspect to get noted is by bringing up some major weather event, since that shows up the best on television, and as the weather comes, so must the badass who defies the weather, and talks about how it really isn’t that bad. Such is the case on this season, but who would have thought that badass would be Adam? Ok, it’s an even-numbered episode, so we knew we were getting competent Adam this time around, but this is a stretch, even for Adam!

We start off not at camp, but the Edge of Extinction. Yes, the challenge to return to the game is nigh, which means it’s advantage-buying time. Most everyone has at least one fire token, and so get an advantage in the challenge, but Natalie and Boston Rob are rich enough that they can get this, plus an idol for their use should they win. Now, Natalie makes sense, given how much of a beast she is in regards to all things Edge of Extinction, but even with his prowess, you may ask for Boston Rob got enough tokens for both an advantage and an idol. The answer, of course, is that Amber gave him her token so that he could afford both, clearly showing how invested Amber is in her own survival in the game. Clearly someone this determined to win DESERVED to come out for this season, as opposed to, say, the underrated Vecepia Towery (“Survivor Marquesas”). Yes, we definitely got the BETTER end of this deal, we did!

After a surprisingly understated reaction from Sophie at Yul’s ouster, we get our challenge for the return from the Edge of Extinction, which is basically the one used at this point in the game on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. Fitting from a lore standpoint, I suppose, but given that the season being paid tribute to is “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, I would have forgiven the show for changing things up. Personally, I would have gone with some sort of endurance challenge, since it would fit with the “theme” of the Edge of Extinction twist in general, but I suppose it’s hard to have “advantages” there. Those who were able to buy an advantage in the challenge (read: everyone but Amber, Parvati, and Yul) don’t have to dig up a bag of rope with which to help build a pole to retrieve a key to get through a door, which might seem like kind of a weak advantage, but that bag was buried deep. How deep? Deep enough to make Yul swear, and that’s saying something!

Of course, we can’t get to the challenge with Probst talking about how tough and heart-wrenching Edge of Extinction is, since he really, really wants the public to like this twist. Natalie, Boston Rob, and Tyson all give emotional confessionals about their journeys, which work ok. Tyson in particular gets tearful, which is a side of him we don’t usually see, and is most welcome as a result. But, if I may reiterate an old film axiom: SHOW, DON’T TELL! Just talking about the harshness of the Edge of Extinction comes off as flat at best, whiny at worst. You need to SHOW us how harsh the Edge of Extinction is for us to care! Oh, wait, you can’t, BECAUSE BOREDOM IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CONVEY IN AN HOUR-LONG TELEVISION SHOW! All this leads to the obvious conclusion of EDGE OF EXTINCTION IS A TERRIBLE TWIST! Now, I’ve made this point several times before, even in blogs for this season, so why do I keep reiterating it? To ensure that whoever sees this recognizes how terrible of a twist it is, and to advocate for it never showing up again. If I can succeed in this, then I have done my job.

As with all previous “Return from Edge of Extinction” challenges, while nearly everyone is nominally in the challenge, we instead focus on just three. Tyson and Rob are in it, both being good challenge competitors (Rob’s general performance this season notwithstanding) with challenge advantages to boot, but our third spot goes somewhat surprisingly to Yul. Not a bad challenge competitor, but no advantage in the challenge. Still, he has the hardest time with the snake maze at the end, so it’s really a duel between Rob and his token edge, versus Tyson and his emotion. In the end emotion wins out, as Tyson edges our Rob to return. I can definitely say I called it, and there could have been worse people coming back from the Edge of Extinction, but I must gripe about this challenge nonetheless. Specifically, the music. Oh, not because it spoiled anything. The tension between Tyson and Rob at the end was handled very well. But unlike other music cues, which are either purely instrumental or a non-English language, this season has taken to using some music with English lyrics, specifically “You’d better be ready”. It’s been used once or twice, usually in connection to the Edge of Extinction, and I haven’t commented on it because frankly it hasn’t matter much one way or the other. But having the lyrics always felt a bit wrong, and I think it’s definitely a mistake to use them in connection to the challenge. It just took me out of the moment, because it’s so jarring when compared to the other music on the show, and if it’s doing that, then it’s not a good piece of music to use.

Minor nitpick over, Tyson joins the newly formed Koru tribe, which the show insists is yellow in color, but I say is black. Yes, the gold accents are prominent, but buffs are usually identified by their base color, and that base color is clearly black. Still, at least the chyrons now have some color variety.

Our merge comes with a new advantage menu for those in the game, though the only thing we know about it is that it’s more expensive than the previous menu. Are the same things still on it? Were new things added? Who knows! Well, production and the people in the game know, but we sure as hell don’t! Yes, that OTHER major problem of Edge of Extinction is now rearing its ugly head: There are too many people in the game. Even a merge at 12 I say is a bit of a stretch, but counting those on the Edge of Extinction, there’s still 19 people left in this game, all of whom we have to pay at least a little bit of attention to. Include the time taken up by the returnee challenge, and now not only do we have almost no time for social bonding and strategizing, but we have no time for even the new twists the game just keeps introducing! You know you’ve got too much content in your show when…

Thankfully, Tony informs us that the merge feast is free, so everyone sits down to partake. After establishing that the rum is NOT gone in this case, we get to storytelling, and the story of the day is Denise, the slayer of Sandra. Sandra’s absence did not go unnoticed, and combined with Probst eulogizing Sandra as a conquered legend, how it happened is on everyone’s minds. Denise tells the story truthfully, even playing up her role in it. Ben gives us a great shocked expression. Denise is clearly resume building, and while I’m sure some will chastise her for it, since it painted a major target on her back, I don’t think she had much choice. Any lie she told could be easily countered by someone like Tony, so might as well tell the truth, and if you have to do that, might as well get the most advantage out of it that you can. We head off to the Sele camp, with Tyson berating everyone in confessional for not targeting him. While I don’t think Tyson is quite as “legendary” as some say, I can’t argue with him here. These people have seen “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. They know how much of a threat the returnee is, just by virtue of being the returnee. Why don’t they target him? Either they’re not worried about the Edge of Extinction returnee winning based on the winner needing to be “deserving” or, more likely, they’re hoping that should they come back from the Edge of Extinction, they won’t be dismissed so readily as well. Skewing the game in favor of a returnee winning! Yet another wonderful benefit of the “Edge of Extinction” twist!

After Adam ogles the new camp, courtesy of Wendell, we get down to targeting. Wendell and Nick give us really our only strategy, talking about that previously mentioned target on Denise. Wendell actually puts it well, saying that she has a “winner trajectory”. While it’s easy to scoff at how nebulous this is, he has a point. Narratives have power on this show, as Jonathan Penner articulated on “Survivor Philippines”. Let someone’s momentum get going too much, and you may not be able to stop them, even if their actual power is very low. Thus, targeting Denise makes a certain amount of sense. Also on board, surprisingly, is Jeremy. Jeremy, Tyson, Ben, and Tony had all talked about the “lions” (read, threats) getting picked off, and needing to band together to survive. This despite that fact that this DID happen on the original Sele and did them no good, plus they’re down in numbers, but ok, there’s logic to that. Don’t see how Ben qualifies (I like the guy, but he’s not in the same league as the other three), but fine, it’s your alliance. Jeremy, however, also talks to Wendell. The pair have hung out outside the game, and have something of a bond. Thus, Jeremy wants to work with Wendell. When Wendell suggests voting out Denise, Jeremy outwardly agrees. Way to use that idol, Denise! Look at all the loyalty it bought you! Privately, though, Jeremy would prefer that Nick be gone. Nick is indicated as Wendell’s number one guy, a role Jeremy would like to fill. Not bad logic, but given how he and Michele seem to be tight, particular after Michele gave Wendell one fire token, I think you’d need to do a bit more work before that happens, Jeremy.

Once we get through the terrible weather scene I talked about at the top of this blog, we get to our immunity challenge. It’s HERE where we get our endurance challenge; as Probst states, the classic “Hang onto a tall pole” challenge first seen on “Survivor Vanuatu”, another season criminally underrepresented on this current season. With such a large merge, naturally the last man and last woman left hanging each win immunity. Can I just say, those are some SWEET individual immunity idols we’ve got this season! I’ve knocked some of the production design decisions so far, but these are just cool. Stark black metal making gold accents stand out, with a little skull and two fire tokens on each idol, both connecting it to the tribal immunity idol while still being distinct, and intimidating as all get out. These idols keep you safe, not through some mystical power, but because everyone is just too afraid of them to vote for the person wearing them.

What I’m less a fan of is the reward. In addition to immunity, the last man and last woman standing each get a fire token. Look, I’ve been fairly bullish on the fire tokens so far. I’ve given them a fair shake, and apart from occasionally talking up too much discussion time, I think they’ve been done well so far. But handing them out for winning a challenge, particularly an immunity challenge, is for me a step too far. What I most like about the fire token is how they both encourage and reward social play. By linking them to challenge, you reward more “alpha” type behavior, rather than behind-the-scenes manipulation. By emphasizing the former, you make them no better than pretty much every other idol and advantage so far. Lame!

Despite having multiple people on this season who’ve competed in iterations of this challenge, only one, Tyson, has managed to make the merge. Thus, I favor him to win for the men, while I give Sarah the edge for the women, just due to pure grip strength. Tyson coming back is the only good call I make this episode, though, as both are out fairly early. Denise scrapes a relatively easy win over Kim, meaning that this season has done something that, in recent years, has become truly legendary: someone who needed immunity actually WON! The men are a tougher three-way battle between Jeremy, Nick, and Ben, though we know that Nick’s out, since there was strategizing with his name in the preview for this episode that threw his name out, which would not happen if he was immune. Thus, when Ben drops out, it’s obvious that Jeremy’s opined to win, and win he does. Jeremy takes us to the break talking about wanting to get Nick out and be the boss. Look, getting Nick out is justified, but Jeremy, as the originator of the “shields” strategy, you KNOW that being the boss on “Survivor” is almost never a good thing. I like you, man. Please get ahold of yourself so I can do so guilt-free.

With Denise now out of the picture, Jeremy puts his anti-Nick machinations into motion. He, Tony, and Ben discuss things, and Jeremy is the one to put out Nick as an option. Tony and Ben both just want a consensus, so if people are willing to do Nick, fine, it will be Nick. Plus, we’re informed that Nick awkwardly butts in on conversations, followed by a montage of him doing just that. Hilarious.

For a moment, it seems like Adam himself will be our misdirect. Wendell and Nick decide that, if they can’t get Denise out, they’ll get out her close ally in Adam, since he cheered when she won immunity (way to be subtle, Adam). However, that anti-Nick train is a-movin’, and so Adam is quickly pushed to the backburner. The train hits a derailment, however, when Sophie puts her foot down. Contrary to Jeremy trying to be “subtle”, Sophie has realized how chummy he and Wendell are, and doesn’t want him to grab any more power than she can help. Since Ben’s main concern was a united first vote, he takes this back to Jeremy. Jeremy, REALLY wanting to work with Wendell, then flips back to the Adam plan, shaking things out to be Adam vs. Wendell. As to who of them should go, even for Jeremy, I think Wendell is the better choice. While Ben is correct when he says that Adam stands out in terms of personality and play-style in this group, he’s also no threat. His only real alliance is with Denise, and even that’s tenuous, as she says she’s willing to cut him loose with nary a hint of remorse. He’s unlikely to win immunity in this group, whereas Wendell and Nick as a united front can gain a lot of power quickly. Better to break up that tight-knit block while you have the numbers. Plus, while you might want to be Wendell’s number one, Jeremy, voting out Nick will not do that on a number of levels. Better just to make the betrayal complete and axe that tight-knit group.

Unfortunately, most signs point to the stupid move being made tonight. There’s decent enough misdirection for Wendell, and I’m not 100% certain that Adam’s going tonight, but it seems likely. He has no real alliance with Denise seeming to turn on him, and Ben of course still won’t give him a non-sarcastic answer. Only Sophie has any comfort for him, and when that comfort is “trust the system”, I can’t blame Adam for freaking out. Add onto that another of the weaknesses of large merge being that usually the obvious, consensus boot goes, and Adam seems toast.

Our Tribal Council doesn’t give us much one way or the other. Everyone talks a lot, but it’s about how much they aren’t talking. Funny on a meta level, but it does not the stuff of legends make. I fully expect it to be 11-1 against Adam even so, and am therefore surprised when the group as a whole does the smart thing, and goes for Wendell. Much as I like the guy, I’m not too sorry to see him go. I wasn’t fond of his more irritable side we saw this season, the downfall was nicely misdirected, and it prevents Nick from doing another “three person tribe run to the end” like on “Survivor David vs. Goliath”. Wendell, unsure of who did and didn’t betray him, guesses correctly and wills one token each to Michele and Nick. Good on him, and for all the flak I’ve given him this season, he takes the loss with his trademark good humor. Hopefully this means we have the old Wendell back moving forward.

Despite the good misdirection on the outcome, I have to say this was a pretty weak episode overall. The crunch of so many people being left in the game really got felt here, as we didn’t even have time to talk about the fire tokens, let alone the strategy. What good we got was just basic, with some decent strategy and misdirection. Only the immunity idol and nature shots were still cool, but they don’t make up for an episode that just felt crowded and rushed, two things a merge should never me.

Before we break until next week, however, I have a bit of a challenge for my readers. I’ve been using quotes from previous “Survivor” seasons for titles as a tribute to the 20th anniversary of the show, but some of them, like last week, have been a bit obscure. As such, I want to see just how deep my reader’s knowledge of “Survivor” goes. Starting this week, and going on though the finale, I challenge everyone to tell me in the comments who said the quote the title comes from, and what season (episode number is optional, but you get bragging rights if you can name it as well). First person to do so gets their name called out at the top of the subsequent blog. The only thing to bear in mind is that all my quotes come from seasons of US “Survivor”, mostly just because I haven’t watched enough of the international versions to be able to quote them well. Have at it, my little trivia whizzes!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 7: Her Feminine Wiles

Our episode for tonight starts off in a rather unorthodox way, so naturally it is only fitting that this blog start off in a rather unorthodox way. At least, that’s what I’d like to have been the case, but if I’m being honest, this way of starting off the blog is surprisingly common. Yes, it’s time once again for another round of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

For all my praise of Denise’s blindside of Sandra last episode, I neglected to give it its entire due, and explain why playing her own idol on Jeremy was a good move. You see, if Denise’s goal was to get Sandra out, then she needed to ensure that Sandra didn’t throw a spare vote on someone else (The “Devon Pinto Maneuver”, developed on “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”). Naturally, Jeremy would be the logical choice for Sandra to throw a vote on, since she was allied with Tony and closer with Kim. Now, hindsight is 20/20, and clearly Denise wasted an idol. Possibly she gains some loyalty from Jeremy, but I think voting out Sandra alone would have done that. However, there’s no way to Denise to know for certain, and I’m not going to give a player a hard time for playing it safe around Sandra Diaz-Twine.

Getting to our actual unorthodox opening, we start off, not with the fallout of a tribe, but on the Edge of Extinction. Parvati is naturally miffed at her early exit, since it’s her first ever pre-merge. True, she’s never finished worse than Day 36, but this means that her boot here, assuming she doesn’t return from the Edge of Extinction, sinks her average like a brick. She is only slightly mollified by the presence of Sandra, since the two have had a rivalry since the finale of “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”. When questioned how this happened, Sandra tries to claim “playing with her emotions” in not wanting another woman to get voted out. I’m sure that was a factor, but I call “bull” overall. If that were true, Sandra, you wouldn’t have tried to get Denise’s fire tokens off of her. You would have just given her the idol and left it at that. Yeah, it ended up being a bad move for you, but it was a calculated risk. Don’t try and play it off as an affair of the heart.

It seems, however, that we won’t have old Dick Diaz-Twine to kick around anymore. Sandra wastes no time in hoisting the flag, especially after hearing about the difficulties in getting food for everyone. I must admit this one surprised me. I expected at least a couple of the returnees to get out of there, but Sandra was not one of them. Admittedly, Sandra’s reasoning is sound. The “survival” aspect of the show, which is emphasized all the more on Edge of Extinction, is not really her forte. She’s hardly the worst we’ve ever seen, but not in her wheelhouse overall. For the record, Outback Steakhouse is her wheelhouse. Plus, she’s already won twice, so she has nothing to prove, and given her general challenge abilities, is unlikely to get back in the game anyway. All logical, and I can’t really fault her decision on that basis alone. So, why did I think she would stay in? Sheer stubbornness. However remote, I thought Sandra would fight with her dying breath to prevent anyone else winning and becoming another two-time winner. Sandra just didn’t strike me as the type to give up. That said, this DOES mean she’s technically the first person voted out of this season, going by Edge of Extinction eviction order, which does somewhat tarnish her record, but only somewhat. Two wins are two wins, after all.

So, now we check in on Dakal, right? I mean, yeah, Sandra quitting takes priority, but her boot was a firework of a move in and of itself. That’s the thing we ought to focus on, right? Well, no, since it seems there’s not as much fallout from that Tribal Council as we thought. Where there IS fallout is Wendell putting his foot in his mouth in front of Yul. Yul is a smart man, and naturally does not let something like this go unchecked. He tells us he needs to suss out where Wendell stands, and has a one on one talk with him. Wendell plays things fairly poker-faced, but doesn’t fly off the handle. Yul is willing to forgive him for now, but will keep a close eye on him. Contrast this with his conversation with Michele the next morning, where he, to his credit, is the one to ask about feelings afterward. Michele states her hope to work together, and gives him some kind advice on no going off at Tribal Council, similar to Yul’s advice to him. Given their history together, however, Wendell is rather defensive about Michele’s advice, which again, does not go unnoticed by Yul. This hurts Michele in particular, since she had given one of Parvati’s fire tokens to Wendell, as a sign of good faith. Not one to pass up an opportunity when he spots one, Yul talks to Michele about her feelings about talking to Wendell about his feelings, and the pair agree that Wendell is going off about nothing, and may need to go. A miracle for Michele, who needed a break in this threesome in order to have any shot of staying should Sele lose. Not that there’s much chance of that, of course. After all, this tribe is the most stacked physically, has good puzzle solvers, and the least challenge sinks of any tribe. There’s no way they could lose the next challenge, right? Right?

So, NOW we check in on Dakal, right? Sure, the fallout may not be as big as that on Sele, but there must be SOME, right? No? Really? We need ANOTHER Edge of Extinction scene? Goddammit.

Actually, it’s GOOD that we have this first Edge of Extinction scene, since it highlights a big problem of Edge of Extinction as a twist: It doesn’t come across well on tv. As Ethan says, one of the big problems players deal with on Edge of Extinction is boredom. One thing still being in the game has over the Edge is that there’s always something going on. Here, you don’t want to do too much due to lack of resources, and there’s little to do in any case, so you just end up sitting around bored. This is part of why those who have actually been on the Edge talk about how brutal it is, and how great a twist it is that strips you to your core. The flaw with this is that boredom is nearly impossible to convey through television, due simply to lack of time. They can show flashes of people being bored, but it doesn’t make the audience feel or understand that boredom, thus making it seem like our contestants are confused at best, whiny people at worst. Now, perhaps if you livestreamed the Edge of Extinction in real time somehow, that might get the boredom across, but guess what? Watching boredom IS BORING! Do you understand my hatred for this twist now? Do you understand why it fails on a conceptual level as well as an implementation level? DO YOU?!

Ok, ok, sorry, that was my PTSTEOED flaring up again. Yes, my hatred for this twist is such that it has been given a new clinical designation: Post-Traumatic-Stupid-Twist-Edge-Of-Extinction-Disorder. To give this scene fair due, it does have two reasons for existing. First it shows that there is one person Parvati is unequivocally nice to in this game. Ethan, as mentioned, is our narrator for the boredom, and so talks with Parvati about his occasional urges to raise the flag himself, mentioning the all-too-real risk of his cancer flaring up again. This is prime meat for someone like Parvati to play on his insecurities, and get him to raise the flag. After all, less competition, right? And for anyone else, she might have done it. But here, Parvati actually gives Ethan unbiased encouragement, and his second wind in the game. It’s nice to see this side of Parvati, since it doesn’t come out much in a game like “Survivor”, and good to see that Ethan’s charm can tame any savage beast. Proverbially speaking, of course.

The second reason for existing is that there’s fire tokens in them thar hill, and our contestants mean to get ‘em! Rob and Tyson are out the front of the pack, and so naturally swoop up all four of the tokens between them, Tyson getting one with Rob getting the other three. You’d think Ethan and Natalie would be in the mix here as well, but I gather their longer period on Edge of Extinction has taken its toll. To his credit, Rob shows that while his tribe challenge skills may now be lacking, his individual challenge skills remain sharp. He even gets in a good bit of deception, pulling off a good acting job to convince everyone else that he didn’t find any, even getting Tyson to reveal his own in the process.

We FINALLY get to check in with Dakal, who give us… a repeat of a scene we’ve already seen. Ok, that scene was 10 years ago, but asking Tony to run to a palm tree and then mocking him behind his back is eerily reminiscent of challenging Coach to climb a tree on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”. Tony’s even equally clueless about his status in the game as Coach was at that point. Tony says that he’s still good with Kim and Jeremy, and Denise’s blindside of Sandra makes her a threat. I thought Tony wanted to keep threats around as shields, but ok. Tony even tells Denise as much to her face, and Denise mockingly asks him not to get her voted out. Behind his back, however, the wheels of power are turning against Tony. Jeremy and Kim discuss alliances, and Denise even suggests forming a tight thereesome with Jeremy and Kim to Kim. Kim, for her part, is on board, since she’s bonded with Denise and is tired of playing from the bottom. Any chance to grab some more power, she’s in good for.

Since we haven’t had a scene at Yara yet, we get a scene at Yara. Naturally, since this is an odd-numbered episode, we must have fun at Adam’s expense. Despite starting to seem off in the right, with Adam being rightfully miffed at Ben for asking him questions in a rather condescending manner, then being mocked when he snaps back at Ben, Adam digs himself deeper by insisting that either Ben or Sarah have the Yara idol. Now, before we get into the mockery, it is worth noting that Adam has half a correct conclusion here, since the idol has been found, and his point is that searching for said idol is worthless. However, Adam doesn’t help his case by going ON and ON about how certain he is that this is true, more certain than he’s been about anything in his entire “Survivor” career, all while Sarah and Sophie laugh behind his back. Now, this is the editor’s doing, of course, but it really highlights the “Odd numbered episodes =stupid Adam” pattern this season has going, and Adam DOES make the hypocritical statement of complaining about how loud Ben and Sophie are, when his inability to be quiet in confessionals has reached memetic proportions. Still, Adam has at least SOME half-decent ideas here, so it’s not as bad an odd-numbered episode as some of his previous ones have been.

So, since Edge of Extinction got two scenes, the other tribes now get a second scene to compensate, right? I mean, fair’s fair, plus the tribes our way more exciting, and CHALLENGE TIME! To the show’s credit, they give us an awesome reused challenge to compensate. Tribe members transport water in a giant saucer over a series of obstacles in order to dump said water in a bucket, retrieving puzzle pieces. Then, they must use said pieces to solve a puzzle, with the saucer being the frame. Though the obstacles are small in scale, the giant saucer makes up for it, and I like parts of the challenge that get used in more than one way, like the aforementioned giant saucer. Being reused from “Survivor David vs. Goliath” means it hasn’t been overdone, which means, for an anniversary season like this, it gets the “Idol Speculation Seal of Approval”.

All of our tribes make boneheaded decisions during this challenge. Dakal gets it first and gets off easiest, by putting Kim in the position where she, the tallest woman seen on the show apart from Sierra Dawn-Thomas (“Survivor Worlds Apart”), takes the highest of three balance beams, thereby setting off the balance of the whole thing. Sele follow suit, and gets rattled by Probst pointing out that not only has Nick lost this challenge before, but in a humiliating blowout as well. I’d complain about hyperbole, but… Yeah, kinda have to agree with Probst on this one. With the possible exception of some of Fang’s challenges from “Survivor Gabon” that was one of the worst. Yara starts out well, taking things slow and nearly getting lapped by both tribes, but only needing to make one trip to the other tribe’s two. This gives them a slight lead on the puzzle, which is enough that, despite not putting their best team on the puzzle (Sophie I get, but Ben? Really?), they still easily take first place. Dakal and Sele are neck and neck, which makes sense since they’re the two tribes we’ve seen some strategy from this episode. Dakal, however, put the logical choices of Denise and Jeremy on the puzzle. Two decent puzzle solvers who work well together. Sele, however? They choose Michele and Wendell, and while bot are decent at puzzles IN WHAT WORLD DO THESE TWO WORK WELL TOGETHER? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK HAVING THEM WORK ON A CHALLENGE TOGETHER WOULD RESULT IN ANYTHING BUT A LOSS? Now, some might argue that perhaps Sele had no other good, or even just average, puzzle solvers to put in instead. To that I say FREAKING YUL THE MATHEMATICIAN IS ON YOUR TRIBE! SUBSTITUTE HIM IN FOR EITHER OF YOUR OTHER PLAYERS, AND YOU’VE GOT A PROBABLE WIN! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? At least we get a seconds-away climax, with Dakal narrowly edging out Sele, both calling at roughly the same time.

Sele is not happy with Wendell when they get back to camp. In addition to his comments at the last Tribal Council, Wendell is considered to have lost the challenge due to some talkback with Probst. Maybe there was more shown, but it didn’t really seem like that was the deciding factor to me. Plus, at least some of it was justified. At least one bit was Wendell calling Probst to watch their puzzle, which after losing out to Laurel for failing to call out his finished puzzle, I can’t really fault him for too much. Still, it’s enough to convince Nick to turn against Wendell, and with Yul wanting him out, plus Michele being willing to do what’s needed to save her neck, it looks like a lock against Wendell tonight.

That said, despite what this and the past episode might try and convince you of, Wendell is not an idiot. As such, he realizes he’s probably in hot water. As such, he tries to make nice with Michele, and suggests voting out Yul as the biggest threat. A logical pitch, but you’ve treated Michele very poorly, so she’s going to be disinclined to go for it, even if Nick was willing, unless Yul gives him some incentive, of course. Yul and Michele discuss fire tokens, which Yul says are increasing in value as the presumed merge approaches. As such, Yul comes up with a cutesy plan to divest Wendell of at least some of his fire tokens prior to Tribal Council. It’s very nebulous, and mostly seems to be said to try and make Michele feel better about the vote, but it also puts Nick’s hackles up. He realizes Yul’s a threat, and discusses targeting Yul as a result. Michele says she’ll go however Nick wants to go, and my jaw drops that, on the tribe that seemed most solid, we actually have a decent mystery as to who goes. My money’s still on Wendell, just for how much it’s been built up, but there’s a solid case to be made for Yul as well. We also have an interesting situation here, as the ideal move for each swing vote in Nick and Michele is different depending on who you’re talking about For Nick, despite his misgivings, the best move is to stick with Yul. Yes, Yul is a threat, but the fact that you recognize him as a threat means others will as well, and thus you can target him later. For now the threesome works in your favor. True, by voting out Wendell you break up that threesome, but presumably Michele or possible Kim can be brought back into the fold this way, and keep the alliance solid without the chaos that is Wendell of late. Michele, however, is not an original member of said threesome, and thus should want to see it broken up. Combine this with her having some relationship with Wendell, however dysfunctional, and now is clearly the time for her to target Yul. Thus, our Tribal Council tonight will show us definitively who amongst Nick and Michele is calling the shots.

Speaking of Tribal Council, it’s time for the “Yul Nerds Out!” show. Yes, despite Yul being one of the better players of the game, and one of the more well-liked winners, he’s not that memorable. Really, his only two moments are his manipulation of Jonathan Penner with his idol, and his “Why elephants can’t run up trees” nerd out at the first individual immunity challenge. We haven’t seem much of the latter, but as soon as fire tokens come up, Yul’s off and running. The specifics fly by so fast that one can’t really recap them and expect to see any justice done, but suffice to say, it’s hilarious! That said, I do disagree with Yul’s assessment, as Probst points out that he’s the last-remaining old-school player left, that old schoolers are at a disadvantage in the game in this era. True, there’s a bit of a learning curve, but by this point in the game, it should be overcome. I would argue that the old schoolers have gone so far due to a simple combination of being the minority on both tribes, and being so legendary as to be threats. Contrary to what we’ll see in a minute, I do not believe the old-schoolers aren’t cut out for the modern game.

Our other Tribal Council story is the Wendell/Michele story. Wendell just couldn’t resist putting his foot in his mouth one more time, “apologizing” to Michele for the way she feels, and having to have it spelled out for him why that’s bad. Still, he gets it right in the end, and it keeps the mystery going as to who’s leaving for the rest of Tribal Council. Wendell also makes an attempt to outdo his Chris Noble voting confessional with a bad pun. “Yul be on the Edge of Extinction tonight.” Not bad, but nothing beats the rap diss. Don’t even try. Wendell’s bravado is not to be discounted, though, as Michele gets her way and Yul goes home. The smart decision for her, but it pains me on the inside. Apart from just being a great player and the last old-schooler left, Yul was just inherently likeable. True, his win would have been broadcast a mile away, but damnit, he deserved it! Give the guy some glory! He at least takes the time to prove to us that fire tokens can be split, willing one to Sarah and one to Sophie. Unsurprising.

Pain at losting Yul aside, this was a fantastic episode. It took what should have been a straightforward, predictable plot and made it engaging and humorous, with a good balance between tribes and a kick-ass challenge to boot. Remove the unnecessary Edge of Extinction bits, and I’d say this episode would be one of the greats!

Speaking of Edge of Extinction, though, next episode is our merge, which most likely means we’ll be getting a returnee from there next episode. As such, I feel I ought to count down who I think is most likely to come back from the Edge. I’ll be doing it as a top three, as any more and I’ll feel like I’m stacking the deck in my favor, given there’s only eight people left on the Edge of Extinction. So, who’re the people most likely to make it back? We start off with none other than…

3. Yul-Before this episode, Ethan would have been in this spot. The guy with the inspirational story they’re playing for (Ethan and overcoming cancer vs. Yul and Stacy Title’s ALS), of couse this person seems like one to come back. However, Ethan’s story can continue to play out on the Edge of Extinction, between overcoming obstacles and whatnot, while Yul’s can’t. Furthermore, Yul has the advantages of having just gotten out of the game and still being relatively well-cared for physically. True, he has no fire tokens now, but fire tokens pale in comparison to not being exhausted. Plus, people tend to forget that Yul is actually quite good at individual challenges, because he was on a season with Challenge Jesus. Yes, between his inspirational story arc, his good physical condition, and Nick talking this episode about “wanting to keep the Sele four together), I’d say Yul’s got a pretty good shot at making it back.

2. Natalie-The numbers favor Natalie on this one. She’s had the most time on Edge of Extinction, and has the most fire tokens out of anybody left on there. She can buy herself idols and challenges advantages at a rate no one else can. True, Boston Rob comes close, but then consider how dominant Natalie has been at the Edge of Extinction overall. True, she’s been shunted sideways as more people have come, but that early dominance cannot be ignored. How appropriate would it be for her to return to the game after that? Really, her sideways shunt is the only thing that makes me not put her as number one? So who is number one?

1. Tyson-Tyson has both story arc and logical reasons why he would come back. Story-wise, we still need resolution on Nick’s thing about working with Tyson after his boot, and he’s been kept on as an Edge of Extinction narrator, much how Rick Devans was on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, thereby keeping him in our minds. Logically, for all that I mocked the peanut butter, we can presume that Tyson’s been saving it somewhere, and that calorie intake may give him an edge. Add onto that generally solid challenge performance overall, and if I had to bet, I’d bet on Tyson making it back in.

Well, that about wraps it up! See you at the merge!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 6: Get the Girls Some Chocolate and Peanut Butter

Happy though I am with most of the show’s developments tonight, I must express one big disappointment. While I’m not one of those people who thinks only the first 10 seasons or so of “Survivor” were the only good ones, nor would I profess the automatic superiority of “old school” players, I must admit I enjoy watching them play and adapt to a game very different from the one they originally played on, and I always like how it proves they aren’t as “bad” at the game as “new school” fans seem to believe. Thus, it is disappointing to me that, not counting the Edge of Extinction, Yul is the ONLY person left who played prior to season 20. Conversely, Natalie is the only person voted out so far who DIDN’T play prior to season 20. Come on, you all, you can do better than this!

I start off with this drama because it’s more than we’ll get at Yara. With Rob gone, everyone is all happy smiles. I particularly like Adam’s quip asking Sarah, arguably the most famous cop on “Survivor”, not to call the cops. This cheerfulness even leaks into strategy, with Ben talking about how happy he is to have found people that he connects with in Sarah and Sophie. He even speculates about working with them more down the line. Adam, however, is somewhat less optimistic. Since this is an even-numbered episode, we’ve got smart Adam this time around, and as a smart guy, Adam doesn’t fail to notice how chummy Ben is with Sarah and Sophie. Conversely, Ben has been much less chatty with Adam than normal. Adam naturally realizes that he’s in deep bantha poodoo, to put it in nerdspeak, and may be in trouble should we come to Tribal Council. Gee, I wonder which tribe is going to Tribal Council this week?

Over at the Edge of Extinction, Tyson brings over a log, triggering PTSD flashbacks for Natalie, Amber, Danni, and Ethan. Fortunately, this one does not indicate a need to hike up a hill, though Rob will do so anyway. It indicates that a chance for a fire token is hidden under a rock, though it also mentions being in “the right place at the right time”. I must admit, I’m disappointed. So far, the clues have actually been pretty tricky in terms of what happens on the Edge of Extinction (when they aren’t just straight-up physically brutal), but this one was obvious, at least to me. Tides are the only thing that time really affects on an island with no clocks, so clearly whatever it is is hidden under a rock near the tide line. However, only Tyson is smart enough to think on it. Continuing his smartness, Tyson buys himself some alone time by pretending to use the bathroom. He then picks up the idol nullifier, which he can sell at the price of one fire token to anyone still in the game. Since we’re currently in not-idiot Tyson mode, he sells it to Parvati, since she probably has fire tokens to spare, and will be desperate for any advantage, since I’m guessing Rob revealed the new tribe divisions. Granted, no one on Sele HAS an idol, nor any easy way to obtain an idol, so it’s not much use to Parvati at the moment, but neither of them know that, so I can’t fault either of them.

Parvati wisely decides to buy, so Tyson now has himself a fire token. Given that one can reasonably guess that a challenge to re-enter the game is near, Tyson needs to consider how best to spend his token. The sad thing is that not-idiot Tyson and idiot-Tyson change places on a dime. Despite making nothing but smart moves so far in the episode, Tyson, rather than get an advantage in a challenge he already has a leg up in anyway, decides to go for a jar of peanut butter. Why? Because he likes to mess with people, that’s why. Look, humor is subjective, and if you like it, good for you. For me, however, Tyson’s attitude of “I’m smarter than everyone and love to show it off.” just rubs me the wrong way. To pull that attitude off, you really need to indicate a good amount of self-knowledge, and temper it with some self-deprecating humor, neither of which Tyson seems to have in my opinion. Now, to be fair, Tyson DOES make the more logical argument of “having more food, and thus more strength for the challenge.” This is actually quite reasonable, though I then question why Tyson is eating his peanut butter NOW. The challenge is clearly not going to be happening the same day, and your body will get rid of those nutrients quickly. You want to cause mischief? Hide your peanut butter, and save it for when you think the challenge is near. That’ll cause some chaos.

Speaking of challenges, it’s time for our immunity challenge, once Dakal and Sele get their jaws off the floor from Rob’s exit. I’m disappointed that we don’t focus much on Sandra’s reaction here. I can just imagine the look on her face telegraphing “Damn, I didn’t get to write his name down.” For immunity and PB&J (man peanut butter is the unintentional theme of this episode, isn’t it?), tribes must transport three bags of rice from the water to the land, punching them through a small hole in the wall, slice said bags open, then maneuver three balls through a table maze. This mainly mirrors a challenge from “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, though the table maze in this form was first seen on “Survivor South Pacific”. The table maze is a bit standard, but the rice part of the challenge is rarely used, but memorable, particularly with the knife part. I’ll give this one a pass.

Ah, but now for the twist. You see, as Probst mentions, only one tribe gets to win. Two tribes will go to Tribal Council tonight. That means, since the unintentional theme of this season is “Taking a cool possibility and doing the worst possible thing with it.”, that naturally we will have the dumb “Combined Tribal Council” with no inter-tribe strategizing, like from “Survivor Game Changers” and “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. So come on, Probst. Give us the bad news. I’m ready.

PROBST: Two tribes will go to Tribal Council separately, and each vote someone off.

… Excuse me a moment.

SOMEWHERE IN L.A

CRASH!

PROBST: What the…

ME: Hey Probst! Long time, no see! What was it, “Survivor One World”? You crashed into my dorm room to tell me useless facts about Kansas?

PROBST: How did you find me?

ME: All true “Survivor” fans have a Probst-radar. It wasn’t hard. Hey, is this the “Survivor Pearl Islands” snuffer? Cool. Though really, why didn’t you chop a torch in half with the axe end? Would have been cooler.

PROBST: Look, I’ve got the cops on the way, so want to tell me what you’re doing here so you can get your story straight?

ME: Well, players are always breaking into MY house about once a season, but this is the 20th anniversary. Though I’d do something special and shake things up a bit by breaking into someone else’s house instead.

PROBST: But why me, specifically? Here to strangle me with your latest buff because of the continued existence of “Edge of Extinction”?

ME: Actually, no. I’m here to thank you.

PROBST: Thank me?

ME: I’ll rage against bad production decisions time and again. It needs to be done to prevent a relapse, plus it reads as funnier online. But that means I should also acknowledge good decisions along with bad. In an era where you guys seem to zig everywhere you should zag, and had an easy opportunity to do a hated twist here, you did the smart thing and went with the better option. We hadn’t seen it in a while, and it’s fairer for all involved. My kudos to you. Even fire tokens do some good this episode.

PROBST: Glad you think so. I’ll be sure to let the police know not to be TOO harsh when they arrest you for breaking quarantine.

(Matt exits in a hurry).

Really, my only complaint for this challenge is how obvious it is that Yara is going to lose. True, we’re barely past the 15-minute mark at the start of the challenge, so most strategizing was going to happen afterward anyway, but Adam’s little confessional makes it clear. Admittedly, having lost their arguable big gun in Boston Rob, they were likely to lose anyway, but still, a bit of mystery would have been nice. Dakal, having the second most challenge sinks (even though Sandra is sitting this one out), is likely to lose as well, but I honestly don’t mind. With Yul, Wendell, and Nick a firm threesome on Sele, they’re the least interesting tribe in terms of dynamics for voting. Granted, Dakal has an issue where 4 out of 5 people can be immune, but there’s something to be said for the intrigue as to who will and won’t play their various advantages this time around.

Sure enough, when the challenge starts, Sele is in a firm lead, with Dakal and Yara merely going back and forth in vying for second. Yara actually starts out in second on the carrying portion, but loses it to Dakal when it comes to stuffing the bags through the hole. Then Dakal loses it again when trying to carry the bags up to the table, and some wicked slicing by Ben keeps Yara in a tight second. Occasionally a player just has a random skill that makes them wicked good in a challenge, like Brandon cutting ropes with a rock on “Survivor Guatemala”? Yeah, Ben is like that with the bags. I chalk it up to military training.

Amazingly enough, the show gets me. Ben is able to keep Yara relatively even with Sele up to the maze, where brute strength, Sele’s greatest asset at this point, doesn’t really help. With Dakal completely out of it, Yara pulls out a victory, concluding Adam’s story arc with him talking about his relief at not being at risk to go home tonight.

So, now the question becomes how to make the obvious outcome of Sele (the ouster of Parvati), less obvious. The answer, apparently, is not very well. Nick admits that he’s bummed about having to vote out his high school crush, and Michele and Parvati do debate trying to flip him, though Michele admits quickly that it’s a non-starter. As such, she tries to cut her losses and make nice with Wendell, which Wendell sees as threatening for some reason. It’s not quite clear why, but given how fraught their relationship so far has been, I can’t really blame the show too much for this one. Where I can clearly place blame is on Wendell’s next move, where he offers overtures to Parvati regarding selling his vote for Fire Tokens. Before I get into why this is a bad idea, I should say that I’m THRILLED that players still in the game are FINALLY negotiating with their fire tokens. This is the sort of social strategizing and capital manipulation I was hoping for when the twist was announced, so I’m ecstatic that it’s finally come to fruition. Plus, it gives us something we haven’t seen with the fire tokens thus far. Now, as to why it’s a bad idea in this particular instance, bear in mind this is PARVATI Wendell’s trying to swindle. You don’t swindle Parvati. Her BS detector is too good. The best you can hope for is to not get swindled by her, and not give her ammunition for later use against you. Wendell avoids the former, and falls victim to the latter. Parvati, enraged at Wendell’s arrogance, spreads around his attempt at being bribed, causing Nick to question whether Wendell’s in tight with him. Ok, show, valiant effort at misdirection, but I’m just not buying it. We’ve spent most of the season building up how tight Yul, Wendell, and Nick are, and you’re telling me it will be thrown away by one instance of overplaying? Should have stuck with a “Will it be Parvati or Michele?” narrative. True, it’s still likely Parvati in this case, but I could buy a small chance at Michele being voted out over her past with Wendell than Wendell’s alliance turning on him relatively out of the blue.

More interesting is the misdirection at Dakal, though at first it seems this may not be the case. You would think, given last episode, that the mystery was whether or not Kim would stick with Tony and Sandra, or flip with Denise and Jeremy. Kim, however, seems to have made her decision, and is sticking with Tony and Sandra. Having read a lot of strategy online between last episode and this one, I know almost everyone thinks Kim should flip, but I politely disagree. Now, while Kim really has no BAD options here, she does have something going with Yul and Sophie on the down-low, and she’s been with them longer than Denise and Jeremy. Why rock the boat by voting out one of Yul’s allies over a perceived enemy. So no, I’m not going to knock Kim’s move. She made a logical decision, given the game so far.

Thus, Denise and Jeremy must turn on one another, and both do it similarly. In conversations with them, both individually admit that while they don’t WANT to vote out the other, they’re willing to do so if needed. Jeremy talks with all but Denise about the need to keep threats around as shields, not surprising, since he’s the guy who arguably INVENTED that strategy. Denise, meanwhile, talks exclusively with Kim and Sandra, playing “humble” as she calls it, and arguing that she’s more willing to build a coalition than Jeremy is. Not a bad pitch, and Denise does play herself well, but given how strategy usually plays out, I’d say advantage Jeremy.

But where was Tony during the latter conversation, you may ask? Why, his spy shack, of course! Yes, old habits die hard for Tony, and he’s once again built himself what’s actually a decent hiding spot by the water hole. The flaw in this plan, ironically, was pointed out by Tony himself earlier in the season. Old habits get you voted out, and Tony is following old habits. Thus, not only is everyone mad at him, everyone predicts what he’s doing as well. Unlike on “Survivor Cagayan”, where his spy shack was actually useful, everyone knows not to talk around the water hole, with Sandra in particular calling Tony out on it. More to the point, it makes Tony seem like an inconsistent ally, a fact both Kim and Sandra call out in confessional. Sandra in particular wants to keep her options open, and does have an idol she has to use that evening. Now, this moment genuinely shocked me. One thing consistent about Sandra is that she always looks out for Sandra. She can be fiercely loyal to close allies, but at the end of the day, as it should be, she is her number one ally. As such, I would have pegged Sandra as the LAST person to consider using their idol for someone else. Yet, Sandra has gotten work about selling things for fire tokens, and decides to help out Denise. She offers to sell Denise her idol for two fire tokens, leaving Denise to vote out whoever she wants, as Sandra says she’ll have no part in the vote. This is a godsend for Denise. She can hide her own idol, saving it for later, and get all the credit for making a move to save herself. Plus, with Jeremy and Kim presumably at her side to save her for the next Tribal Council afterward, there’s really little downside to Denise buying this. True, she does lose fire tokens this way, but with only Adam likely to will her any more, and not much you can buy otherwise, what’s the point in holding on to them? Yeah, you could use them later, but when you’re in such a dire strait as now, having them later does no good if you’re voted out. Of course, there’s also the argument that Sandra may be giving Denise a fake, and just trying to divest her of her fire tokens, but Denise counters that with a “half up front” proposal which Sandra accepts. In theory, it’s not a bad move on Sandra’s part, since it gets rid of something she wouldn’t have much use for anyway, gets her a desired outcome without much blood on her hands, and more fire tokens to play with later. Still, though, I’d say advantage Denise here.

Our first Tribal Council, the one with Sele, proves that Wendell truly is his own worst enemy. We all know his alliance is likely to stick together. If he can shut up and play it cool, he should make it through. Yet, with only the slightest provocation from Parvati and Michele, he gets into a debate with them, a debate in which he comes off as two-faced and untrustworthy. Not helping himself, when he gets the out of saying his offer to sell his vote is off the table, he says it’s still there, getting even Yul to raise his eyebrows. We culminate with a cut to commercial as our players cast their votes, resulting in a thrilling… anticlimax. Yeah, I can’t blame production too much, since they doubtless didn’t have a lot to work with here, but it was pretty clear Parvati was going. She’s sort of in a similar position to Boston Rob’s exit last week. It’s tough to see a legend go, and I didn’t DISLIKE her, but she wasn’t one of my all-time favorites, and it was going to happen at some point. Better to get it out of the way so we can tackle new storylines. Of course, this means Parvati needs to will her fire token, and she of course gives it to… MICHELE!

That’s not a joke this time. She really gives it to Michele.

Not helping things is our second Tribal Council, which blows the first out of the water. Both the tension and the doublespeak are on point this time. It seems like it’s four against Denise but Denise makes good overtures (with pointed looks at Sandra) about building lasting bonds. Couple that with mystery as to who Denise will eliminate, and you’ve got the makings of a great Tribal Council. Sandra’s confessional about her confidence in Denise’s ability to survive is icing on the cake. Jeremy doesn’t play his advantage, but Denise does. Wisely, since she doubtless suspects Sandra of giving her a fake, plays the idol she bought from Sandra first, and waits to Jeff to confirm it. He does, but then, strangely, Denise plays her Sele idol for Jeremy. This might, at first, seem odd, but all will become clear momentarily. You see, in the great debate of Jeremy vs. Tony, Denise voted for Sandra.

Now, I’m sure a lot of you are expecting me to complain about how this has “Ethan Zohn” downside. After all, we saw not ONE bit of talk as to Sandra going home. Surely this makes her exit unsatisfying, right? Well, no, thanks to a few key differences. First off, unlike Ethan’s boot, which was a majority flip we barely got any hints about, this was a rare unilateral decision on “Survivor”. When the only person you can consult about the vote is yourself, there’s not really a way to indicate that this will be the vote, short of showing a confessional saying “I’m going to vote for Sandra”, which would kind of give the game away. Second, even if we don’t hear it, this vote has much clearer reasoning than the vote for Ethan. While we know that Ethan was voted out to weaken Boston Rob, we got no explicit reasoning why him over Parvati, or why not go for Boston Rob outright. Conversely, even though they aren’t spelled out for us, the reasons to get rid of Sandra are clear without needing to consult outside resources to find out the why of it. As the only two-time winner, Sandra is the biggest fish in the pond, the equivalent of Richard Hatch on “Survivor All-Stars”. Sandra can’t be trusted, as demonstrated by all the precautions Denise took in the deal. Speaking of which, voting out Sandra allows Denise to keep a fire token for herself, putting her in the “Dreamz” position from “Survivor Fiji” of getting the best of a deal without following up on it, but without the whole “looking like scum” thing. Plus, whether a merge is nigh or no, Sandra’s a smart move to eliminate. If the next episode ISN’T a merge, you’ve just gotten rid of your biggest challenge sink. If a merge IS coming, then you need to get rid of Sandra NOW, before she can hide in bigger numbers. Thus, a satisfying boot with little foreshadowing, and a genuinely shocking highlight to end the episode on.

Of course, Sandra still needs to give her fire token to someone, since Denise DID pay half up front. She of course chooses… MICHELE! No, she chooses Yul, which I suppose is reasonable since she voted with him before.

this episode has a lot of high highs, but I feel like it was trying too hard in places. The Adam confessionals and the Sele Tribal Council in particular felt like they were trying to build tension where there was none. That said, the misdirection was otherwise good, and while the episode as a whole may not be legendary, that Sandra boot was, the first truly legendary moment of the season. Let us hope for more.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 5: Again on the Buffoon Tribe

Well, with a unified vote last episode, and a swap imminent, there’s no reason not to get straight to the foreshadowing! Nope, no need to concerns ourselves with vote fallout when there is no vote fallout to be had! Instead, we get Sophie and Nick gushing about how great their position in the game is at this particular moment. Nick in particular is happy, since he’s discovered Tyson willing him his remaining fire token. Nick tells us that this makes him think differently of Tyson, possibly even being willing to work with him down the line. Might this be foreshadowing of the biggest challenge threat currently on the Edge of Extinction getting back in the game? I think so.

Before we get to the swap itself, Yul talks about closeness with people. This time, however, Yul’s not discussing the closeness of others in the game, but the closeness of himself out of the game. He tells us the person he bonded the most with on “Survivor Cook Islands” was Jonathan Penner, which strikes me as odd. True, the pair were clearly friends in the game, but over someone like Becky, whom Yul was CLEARLY bonded with? Strikes me as odd, especially when you consider that Penner was the VILLAIN of “Survivor Cook Islands”. Sure, he’s beloved by the fanbase now, and he wasn’t exactly Jonny Fairplay (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) level of hated even at the time, but he was the bad guy. The mutineer. The snarky jerk who betrayed the Aitu Four, then betrayed his new tribe just to seal the deal. And THIS is the guy beloved Yul bonded with the most overall? I mean, it makes sense if you look at them outside the game, but if you only knew them from the show? This would be right the heck out of nowhere.

Yul, however, is focussing less on Jonathan, and more on Jonathan’s wife, Stacy. Stacy, you see, has rather advanced ALS, to the point of not being able to breathe on her own, and requiring around the clock care. Penner has selflessly and graciously taken up this task, and if by some stupid miracle he happens to be reading this, our thoughts go out to you and your wife, man. Sure, I could talk about how this scene really comes right out of nowhere, and basically hits you over the head with “Yul is going to win this season”, but I don’t care. It was touching! It was a humanizing moment for all involved, while still putting the focus on Stacy (her making the family reward on “Survivor Cook Islands” meant they had footage of her to use, and she and Penner had a call to action to start off the upcoming commercial break). Even the normally stone-faced Yul shed a few tears over it. But I’m not crying, you’re crying! Shut up!

Our swap comes around, which means we need someone complaining about it screwing their game up. Boston Rob is our big winner this time around, which I have to say is out of the ordinary. Despite Rob having played five times at this point (six if you count “Survivor Island of the Idols”), this is only his third swap (fourth if you count the tribe dissolution on “Survivor All-Stars”). A low number, though he might have some reason to complain. After all, while the new Mogo Mogo did have the numbers in his favor on “Survivor All-Stars” it was the swap that cost him the game, since asking for the favor to save Amber soured the jury towards him when he didn’t pay them back. Instead, Rob talks about the swap on “Survivor Marquesas”, pointing out that he lost power as a result, having been in control of Maraamu prior to moving to Rotu. A fair enough point, but Rob, I’d say it was really your tribe’s challenge ability that screwed you. Even if you hadn’t swapped, I’d bet money you lost at least one more pre-merge immunity challenge, meaning you’d in down in numbers anyway, and probably be voted out at the exact same spot. Sure, you were at risk on the new Rotu, but you ultimately didn’t leave until the merge, which like I said, is where you likely would have gone anyway. This is as opposed to, say, Sandra, who actually WAS swap-screwed on “Survivor Game Changers”, but let’s not split too many hairs.

With 15 players left, we of course split into three tribes, leading to the creation of a new tribe, which is green, because of COURSE it’s green. They’re almost always green. Doing anything different would upset the delicate balance that is “Survivor”. We’ll get into the split dynamics in a minute, but the big takeaway is that Sele is SCREWED by this swap. Oh sure, they were lower in numbers, which makes a swap harder to take advantage of, but the fact is that Sele was only down by one member, and so could easily have gotten the advantage on two tribes. However, given both the numbers and who ended up with whom, they effectively have the advantage on NO tribes. This is most obvious, funilly enough, on the new Sele. Parvati and Michele remain, being joined by Yul, Wendell, and Nick. Parvati and Michele have the triple disadvantage of being down in the numbers, not working together prior to this, and being with the tightest group in this game so far. As Nick says, those three couldn’t have put together a better tribe swap. Granted, Yul’s number one, Sophie, is on another tribe, but Wendell and Nick are both tight with him, and bring good challenge strength. To add insult to injury for Michele, she and Wendell used to date, and did not have the nicest breakup. More on that later.

Surprisingly, new Dakal is really the only place where the old Sele have a decent chance of grabbing a little power. They’re down in numbers, with Jeremy and Denise against Kim, Sandra, and Tony, but Jeremy and Denise at least have a tentative alliance, and a possible “In” with Kim, since she never really worked with Sandra and Tony directly. Plus, they both have some form of immunity at this point (Jeremy has “Safety without power”, while Denise has a good old hidden immunity idol), meaning they can guarantee an original Dakal going home if they so choose. Granted, both Kim and Sandra have idols as well, but Tony going is not the worst thing. Oh, and four people immune on a tribe of five with FIFTEEN PEOPLE LEFT IN THE GAME is clearly not an indicator of too many idols and advantages in the game already! No siree!

In a parallel to the new Dakal, our newly-created Yara tribe (which will in no way be difficult to distinguish from the Yawa tribe of “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, no sir) has a numerical advantage, but a fractious one. On paper, Sarah and Sophie are outnumbered by Boston Rob, Ben, and Adam, but then you remember that all three of the men have reason to be mad at each other, meaning that they likely won’t be able to work together. Add onto that them having to build a whole new shelter, and getting little in the way of supplies, and you’ve got the makings for a tribe in trouble. I would say new Dakal is probably the weakest tribe overall, due to having the biggest challenge sink (Sandra), and only one big gun in Jeremy, but given Boston Rob’s overall performance, the energy expended in building a new shelter, and Adam not being the strongest either, I’d say these two tribes may be fairly even early on. Not new Sele, though. New Sele is not going to lose a challenge unless they throw a challenge.

After Denise and Jeremy take time to gush at Wendell’s handiwork on the shelter, the game starts back up. Jeremy, unsurprisingly, is the driving force behind the attempts to work on the tribe, and quickly zeroes in on Kim as the weak link. I’m guessing he worked everybody, and they just showed us the one that worked, but if he did sense that out immediately, kudos to him. Given the public feud between Tony and Sandra on “Survivor Game Changers”, without any knowledge of tribe dynamics, that would have been my first guess as to an exploitable flaw. Not, Jeremy instead floats the idea of working with himself and Denise to Kim, which is further incentivized by her bonding with Denise. Kim admits that while it might be smarter to stick with her original Dakal members, she does have a bond with Denise and Jeremy that she doesn’t have with Tony and Sandra, as well as no real alliance with them, so things are up in the air. We’re left pretty unclear where Kim will go, but it looks to be an intriguing storyline going forward.

Checking in at Sele, Michele again laments being put on a tribe with Wendell, since they have “history”. Unlike with the poker alliance or Stacy from earlier in the episode, we don’t get any outside clips detailing their relationship. Which is a shame, not so much because I want all their dirty laundry aired on national tv, but because I’ve seen the pictures from when they were dating, and they were cute together! I’m really sorry to hear their breakup wasn’t amiable, because they do seem like a nice match on the surface. Bummer.

To distract from this, Parvati sets about bonding with the remaining members of her tribe. She and Yul share an original season, plus his wife really likes Parvati’s game, so she leans on that. With Nick, it turns out she was his crush back in the day, and we get to see “flirt” Parvati come out again a bit. Wendell, however, is a tough nut to crack. He gives very short, nondescript answers to her “Getting to know you” questions, which leads Parvati to call him “cagey”. Wendell argues that he’s just a slow leak, but combined with not really wanting to talk about their past with Michele, it seems like he’s just kind of quiet around them. Odd for a guy who won on the strength of his social game, but I guess that’s what a breakup will do to you. Michele and Parvati complain about this on the beach, noting how smug the guys are. They want Wendell gone, but have no way to do so. As such, they decide to “Give the guys something to look at” (seriously, these two may be the first people to say that in non-scripted reality), and go for a swim. And here, I must complain. Yes, an understanding of the tribe dynamics is necessary, and yes, the tension between Michele and Wendell is a big part of that. I’m not complaining about that so much. What I AM complaining about is the portrayal of Michele on this season. Look, Aubry will always be my girl, but I have a lot of respect for Michele. She’s a solid player of the game, and very likable in her own right. I have no complaints about the fact that she won, and as such want to see more of her on this season. So it bothers me that the ONLY Michele content we’ve gotten has related to three things: Voting out Ethan (which was all of ONE SENTENCE), her relationship troubles, and being a sex object. Yeah, “Survivor”. Way to be progressive in this day and age. All the content we get from one of the women relates to either relationships or looks? Those portrayals aren’t stereotypical at all!

Rant over, we head to Yara, where even before shelter building commences, Rob wants to know what happened to Amber. Sarah and Sophie wisely throw Tyson under the bus, saying that he threw out Amber’s name when he was on the chopping block. At least partially true, it also shifts any blame to someone who can’t defend himself right now, and lets them keep up the pretense of a full united front for the original Dakal. Smooth playing, ladies. Less smooth are the men, who when asked immediately spill their hatred for each other. Way to play, guys. Ok, ok, I suppose there was no way they were going to hide if for long, but a token effort would have been nice! Sophie and Sarah talk with everyone, and are naturally relieved that they have options. Still, they don’t trust the numbers, and so go idol hunting, followed shortly by the men. Rob complains about the difficulties in idol hunting, despite, as Adam points out, having FOUND an idol. To be fair, Rob did have clues, and their new island has many significant looking trees. In the end, the show does something I really like, and keeps the finding of the idol subtle. While Rob rants, we see Sophie grab something out of a tree, later revealed to be the Yara hidden immunity idol. Like other idols this season, she has to split it for it to be useful. Since Sophie is NOT an idiot, she gives it to the one person she’s played with so far, and we move on to our immunity challenge.

As we’ve come to expect this season, this is your standard obstacle course with a puzzle at the end, though two things about this challenge stand out. One is the color. While most challenges have a good amount of color to them, for some reason this challenge really “pops” particularly in aerial shots. Kudos to the art department! The second element is the puzzle. At first, it seems like another rehash. The “Stack four blocks so no color appears twice on any side” puzzle from “Survivor Samoa”. Decently tough, but not much to note, were it not for a design choice I like. Previously, the blocks had to be stacked in a rotating frame. Here, they’re stacked on top of one another on a rotating platform. It’s a small change, but it helps this version stand out, along with the look of the blocks themselves. I’ve complained in the past about “Plastic ‘Survivor’”, where elements look manufactured and fake, as in not part of the environment. Here, these crates are clearly just wood squares nailed together and painted. This could be seen as lazy, but I say it adds to the authenticity. These feel like something someone would develop naturally on an island, or even make at home, and it’s a nice touch to an otherwise just average challenge.

Yara does surprisingly well early on in the challenge, even getting to the puzzle slightly ahead of Sele. Of course, though, the puzzle matters, and despite having the more than competent team of Sophie and Adam on the puzzle, they choke. Our idol mercifully splits apart naturally this season (as all multiple idols should, show), so Sele gets the skull for coming in first, while Dakal’s impressive puzzle performance nets them the crossbones. Though I have to ask, since Yara was right next to Sele, why didn’t they just copy their solution when Sele won? Regardless, Rob leads us out saying that while he hates losing, he feels fairly in control tonight. Gee, I wonder who our boot is?

Despite the earlier tension between the guys, when push comes to shove, they don’t want to go home. At the water well they agree not to vote for each other, and decide on Sarah for bringing less to challenges than Sophie. A bit odd, given that Sarah is a police officer, and therefore presumably quite physically fit, but I guess if you factor in puzzle ability it’s a wash. Given that all have an incentive to get the connected people out at this point, Sarah at least works from that perspective. Rob, however, is still a bit paranoid, and thus implements the “buddy system” from “Survivor Redemption Island”. With only three, though, it rapidly devolves into “Everyone sit in the shelter until Tribal Council”. You know, the strategy that worked SO WELL for Garrett on “Survivor Cagayan”. Geez, Rob, you’re supposed to be better than this. Adam complains about the boredom, thereby making him the most likely to quit on Edge of Extinction. You think this is boring, buddy? Try being out of the game. Or the audience watching the people who are out of the game. Last episode aside, boredom city.

Well, after Ben’s Oreo conversation is exhausted (for the record, I’m in the “Peel apart the cookie and lick out the creme” camp), Sophie and Sarah go off to grouse. They can see the writing on the wall, and confess that they can’t even get a signal or a wink from any of the guys. However, they pool their advantages, and actually do have a plan. Sarah having given Sophie back her half of the idol, they have it available now, but want to save it. Fair enough. Less understandable is Sarah wanting to save her vote steal. Look Sarah, I understand wanting to have it available down the line, but if ever there was a time to play it, this is it! It breaks up a possibly insurmountable threesome, does not require the potential guesswork of playing a hidden immunity idol, and prevents any targeting of you should people find out you have it. Plus, with larger numbers, it can have less of an impact. Play it now, when it’s most useful.

Our Tribal Council is once again mostly a subdued affair, with no one wanting to give away anything. That said, I do want to praise one bit of Sophie’s maneuvering this time around. After giving the usual talk about finding “cracks” and splitting people up, Sophie reframes the conversation brilliantly. Pointing out that such a metaphor, while commonly used, can have negative connotations, Sophie instead says she wants to use this vote as an opportunity to build bonds, and start working WITH people, rather than splitting them up. This is a brilliant bit of politicking on Sophie’s part. It flips the underdog narrative on it’s head, and makes you seem desirable, rather than desperate. It’s delivered well too; calm but still with some force behind it. There’s a reason Sophie’s back here, and it’s not just for snark.

I’d play up the mystery here, but we all know Rob’s going. The narrative has been leaning too heavily in that direction for it to be anyone else. The women don’t even have to play any of their advantages. Like with the Kim thing earlier, I’m guessing there’s just some strategizing between everyone but Rob we didn’t see, and so there was no need to discuss things further post-immunity-challenge. Quite honestly, I’m not too sorry to see Rob go. He’s a legend, don’t get me wrong, but because of that, we all knew this was coming at some point. It’s like the boot of Richard Hatch on “Survivor All-Stars”: You may not like it when it happens, but you know going in it’s inevitable. Better to get it out of the way early so that we can focus on newer storylines. That said, was this a smart move? I’d say not. Even without the knowledge of Sarah’s advantage, she has more connections left in the game than Rob does, making her overall the bigger threat. I get that Rob’s strong-arming gets old, but that continues to make him a target, and therefore worthy to keep around as a shield. Even looking at it from the perspective of who Sophie and Sarah should target, I’d say they made the wrong call. They should have gone for Adam. As we saw this episode, while Ben and Adam may be mad at each other, they CAN still work together. Not so much for Boston Rob and the others, and since Adam has less challenge ability than Ben, I’d say he should have been the target.

For all my complaints so far, this season has more hits than misses, and this episode is definitely one of the hits. True, the hits have not been fantastic hits, and the misses have often been spectacular, but my overall impression of the season still remains positive. True, after the immunity challenge there was zero mystery as to who would go home, but sometimes you don’t need that. We got a clear story on “The Downfall of Boston Rob” which was compelling in its bluntness, and that can be fun to. Add to that a good understanding of the new tribe dynamics after WAITING and establishing the status quo, coupled with some heartwarming moments, and you’ve got yourself an above-average episode. Plus, NO EDGE OF EXTINCTION! YAY! We even got Probst’s final words this episode, saving Boston Rob’s willing of his fire tokens until the credits. He, of course, wills them to… MICHELE! No, with Amber out of the game, he’s clearly giving them to Parvati. What did you expect? Honestly, the only complaint I can really have with this episode is it felt like we were intentionally not given information to try and up the drama in places, which I can’t really complain about since it happens with most episodes. It was just less subtle here.

Oh, and the abundance of idols and advantages. I can complain about that. Admittedly not really a problem in this episode, but it’s already hard to keep track of who has what, and that problem looks to only be getting worse as the season progresses. We may be fine next episode, but if our “Two tribes at Tribal Council” is two tribes voting for one person AGAIN, rather than a proper Double-Tribal, I’m going to be pissed.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 4: Golden Boy

Question for the fandom: Does Adam like “Star Trek”? I mean, he’s certainly a nerd, but not all nerds are “Star Trek” nerds, and inquiring minds want to know. You see, consciously or not, Adam is following the pattern of “Star Trek” movies: The even numbers he’s amazing, the odd numbers he’s awful.

Our episode proper begins on an appropriately somber note with the ouster of Ethan, and everyone, Boston Rob in particular, takes a few seconds to mourn. There’s little time for that, though, as Adam has to deal with his own fallout. Since this is an even-numbered episode, Adam has realized how much of an idiot he was last time, and sets about trying to explain himself to his tribemates. All rightly point out what an idiot he was, though only Ben actually seems pissed off at the whole shebang. Adam begins what he dubs his “apology tour” with fairly sincere-sounding apologies where most people forgive him. Even Ben says that while he no longer trusts Adam, there are bigger threats to be taken care of, so I’d say Adam’s damage control works. That said, I do need to dock him points for poor elocution. I have always heard the word “hubris” pronounced “hew-bris”, and therefore take this as the correct pronunciation. I do not acknowledge “hoo-bris” as an acceptable alternative.

You would think we would get something of substance from Dakal, to balance out our scene at Sele. Instead, it’s just a brief bit from Sophie about a class field trip to a prison to lead us into the comparison to Edge of Extinction, leading us, appropriately enough, to said Edge of Extinction. No time to check in on Ethan! There’s fire tokens in them thar hills, and our contestants mean to get ‘em! And I do mean that about as literally as I can. Rather than selling stuff to the players still in the game, and adding more advantages in the process, this time our players have a mini-challenge. Up at the top of the mountain, via that long, near-vertical staircase, are four stacks of 20 logs, one for each player. These stacks must be transferred down to the fire pit in camp. If transferred before sundown, those players that do so get a fire token. Fairly tough, but nothing too bad, right? Well, that’s where the catch comes in. You see, only one log can be taken at a time, meaning each player must make a total of 20 round trips to earn that fire token. No easy feat, especially considering that climb. While I may scoff at the supposed “harshness” of the Edge of Extinction, that climb is no joke, and needing to make it 20 times in rapid succession (40 if you count each trip up and down separately)? ANYONE’S thighs would be burning after that. I must say, I’m a bit torn on this method of earning fire tokens. On the one hand, it loses the social aspect that I like from the selling of advantages, and I’d prefer a more cutthroat “Only one person can get a fire token this way”’ to add some excitement. On the other hand, this challenge shakes the formula up, means there are fewer advantages going into the game, and overall just serves as a tough challenge with a nice change of pace for the show. I wouldn’t want this sort of thing every week, but this week at least, I’ll take it.

Everyone left on the Edge of Extinction gets their own little story. Amber serves as our narrator, explaining the challenge and how tough it is to us. Danni serves as the comic relief, giving us a tough showing while making comparisons to childbirth. Natalie is, naturally, her usual beast of a self, utterly kicking the butt of this challenge. Really, though, the story of the hour is Ethan. After the inevitable reference to his having survived cancer, Ethan gets taken down a couple pegs when his goal goes from “finish first” to “finish period”. Given how the guy scoffed at how “easy” the show is these days, it’s oddly cathartic to see him taken down a peg, at least at first. Then we see that Ethan is maybe going a bit too far in his efforts to prove that he’s still got it. We see him stumbling more and more as the challenge goes on, with the camera itself seeming to fade in and out, only to have medical come in and look at Ethan. There’s thankfully no medivac for him (that would be a kick in the balls at this point in the season), but the guy is feeling faint with low blood pressure, so it’s by no means nothing. He eventually clears up, and is even allowed to continue the challenge, although he is told to rest if he feels the need. Ethan manages to get the last four logs he had left down the mountain, with the remaining players even making the final trip with him.

My dear readers, we have an “Idol Speculation” first: A scene of Edge of Extinction that doesn’t suck! No, even more than that, a scene on Edge of Extinction that is actively good! I thoroughly enjoyed this scene! I am glad it is in the episode! It has added to the overall experience! And I say this under no duress whatsoever!

Ok, ok, I’ll probably sound a lot more sincere without the overuse of exclamation marks. This scene works for a couple of reasons: There’s few enough people that they all get their own story, and the challenge gives them something of a purpose. More than that, though, the overall best thing about this scene is that, for the first time, it SHOWS us how harsh Edge of Extinction is. Think about it. For all that we’re always told how harsh Edge of Extinction is, there’s no real evidence of it. True, there’s not much to do, and the hike up the mountain is a bit tough, but nothing to really separate it from your usual island living. This, though? For all the gimmicky interface screws the camera has, we SEE how tough this is. We SEE how much these people have to go through. We finally SEE that the show isn’t just blowing smoke up our butts. And to culminate that with Ethan’s kick-ass triumph over adversity, even adding in the touching human element of Amber, Danni, and Natalie hiking up with him in a show of solidarity? There really is no better way to capstone that scene. Now, does this mean I’ve turned around on Edge of Extinction as a whole? Of course not! I still would rather we be without it and spend time getting to know the players actually still in the game. But, if we had to have it, I’m glad some good came out of it this time around.

Guess what? There’s even more tender moments in the next scene! Rather than get into strategizing, our first bit at Sele during the day is just Michele and Boston Rob talking! Sure, it’s Michele again discussing how her win isn’t viewed as “legitimate” by some people, but Boston Rob gives her a good talk about “you won so who cares?” and the two seem to really respect each other. It’s just a nice little scene between players. Of course, the strategizing must begin again, and so we turn once again to Adam. As Jeremy tells us, he’s behaving like he screwed up, becoming a workhorse around camp. Jeremy confides that as long as Adam doesn’t go around overstrategizing again, he’ll keep him around. Naturally, our next shot is Adam talking to Boston Rob and Parvati. However, this is an even-numbered episode, meaning Adam has the good sense to not make the same mistake again, and tells them there’s nothing to talk about. Boston Rob and Parvati, having little to lose, agree that it’s time to throw Adam under the bus. They spin a lie to Jeremy and Michele that Adam is strategizing with them again. They buy it, mostly because it fits with Adam’s MO last episode, and so he’s now number one on their hit list.

Let’s not leave Dakal out of this strategizing, though! After Sarah talks about bonding with Tyson over his humor, Tyson reminds us that humor is not the only aspect to his character. There’s strategy as well, and he’s realized that Yul’s strategy is to pick off all the paired people first. Luckily for him, counting himself and Kim as a pair, there are five “paired” people on the tribe against four “singles”. Ergo, if all the pairs band together they can save themselves from destruction! Tyson therefore rightly points this out to the other pairs, in the hopes of forming an alliance. However, Tyson forgets that one of the members of these “pairs” is Sandra, who is known to hold a bit of a grudge. Tyson’s on her shit list, so she tells us in no uncertain terms that she wants him gone. To be fair, since Sandra’s beef with Tyson is at least partly based on a lie, Tyson has little way of knowing he’s on her shit list, but still, this plot is stopped before it really starts.

Our challenge today fits the mold of “obstacle course then puzzle”, though this time it has more distinct sources. Our obstacles involve four tribe members tugging a boat with the three remaining members to a platform where players must jump to retrieve keys, all coming to us from “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, while our puzzle is Kass’ famous final four comeback puzzle from “Survivor Cagayan”. The boat pulling part is cool, and any challenge that reminds me of Kass’ comeback is a good one in my book. The winners get immunity, and also the “Survivor” staple of chickens and a rooster. Well worth playing for, and this episode bucks the trend from last episode of making it too easy to tell who will win. Granted, I’m still favoring Sele to lose, given how prominent the “Adam” story has been, as well as Dakal having only one named target, but still, there’s some effort.

It turns out, however, that the best misdirection was once again going to come from the challenge itself. You see, Sele does badly. Not much new there, but I mean REALLY bad. Dakal gets all three keys when Sele only has one, with only Adam able to even reach them. Dakal is on the puzzle for a good long while, and yet, still they lose. I mean, this should have been a blowout. I would not have been surprised if Sele hadn’t even made it to the puzzle. I usually knock Probst for his “massive lead” hyperbole, but here it felt justified. And yet, somehow, Dakal just can’t get the puzzle together, while Michele and Boston Rob whips through it, netting Sele a well-earned win. Man alive, that was exciting to watch! Appropriately enough, given the puzzle, it rivals the Kass comeback I mentioned earlier. I still give the edge to Kass, given that she did the comeback all on her own, while Sele had a whole tribe working to come back, but still impressive nonetheless. A close second place in terms of comebacks.

We go to commercial on Adam tearfully telling us how his 8th grade teacher said in a report card that if he set his mind to something, he would accomplish it. Stop it, show! If you give us any more inspiration, we’ll explode!

Tyson kicks the strategizing into high gear following the challenge. Luckily for him, Nick was on the puzzle, and so takes the brunt of the blame for the loss, especially as Probst kept reminding everyone that the puzzle also featured on “Survivor David vs. Goliath”. As such, Tyson talks everyone into a consensus vote of Nick. Everyone seems on board, but of course that’s what they’re going to say. In reality, Yul’s alliance wants Tyson out, and so gets pretty much everyone but Tyson on board to do just that. Surprisingly, of all people, it’s TONY who begins to question this. He says that Tyson works as a shield for the alliance of himself and Sarah, and therefore it might be more beneficial to keep Tyson around. The strange thing here is that Tony is RIGHT, but for the wrong reasons. Tony, I respect the idea of the “shield” strategy, but even when playing low-key, you’re not exactly “invisible”. Look, you’re playing probably your best game out of all your seasons so far, but that doesn’t mean you’re a social chameleon. Michele, you are not. Tony is right, however, in wanting to keep Spencer around. Tony is a part of the last remaining “original season” pair with himself and Sarah, and thus, keeping the precedent of “vote out the pairs” bodes ill for his long-term prospects. Better to weaken the singles while you still have the numbers to do so. Sarah and Kim both agree to go with Tony’s strategy if he can get the numbers, leaving Sandra as the swing vote. And lest we forget, Sandra holds a grudge. She flat-out tells Tony she wants Tyson out, but says in confessional that she’ll do what’s smart, and doesn’t play based on her emotions. Um, Sandra? I respect you and all, but there are some fish in the Pearl Islands that might disagree with that assessment.

Sadly, the fun of Dakal does not translate into the fun of Tribal. I’m convinced that Tyson is going, based on what I know of editing and of Sandra, and there’s little to dissuade me. Apart from Yul blaspheming by denying the gospel of math, no real moment stands out. I will say that at first I thought for certain that they gave the game away by having Tyson call out Sandra during Tribal Council, indicating his demise. I mean, why do that if Nick is the target. Then, during voting, we see Nick got for Kim, which seems odd if he’s in the know and safe, right?

Well, it turns out Nick was just taking a leaf out of the book of Devon Pinto (“Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”) and throwing a stray vote in case of an idol. He needn’t have bothered. Tyson gets voted out in a 7-1-1 vote, and I am most pleased. Not just because the two main targets were the two players left I was least excited about, but it means Yul’s nerd alliance remains in power, and I am happy. Of course, as established, it was a dumb decision for our swing votes, but still, a good way to cap off a solid episode, marked by truly touching human moments and exciting come-from behind victories. The best since the premiere, right here!

Of course, Tyson still needs to bequeath his fire token to someone, and he naturally chooses… MICHELE! Not really, but his choice is somewhat odd. Rather than give it to one of his pair alliance, particularly since he probably thinks they’ll need it, he gives it to Nick, for a vote well-avoided. Look, I may not be a fan of Tyson’s humor, and I may think he’s overrated by the fandom as a whole as a result, but that was a classy, and respectful move right there, Tyson my man. Kudos.

Join us next week, when stupid Adam returns! Watch him go on an idol hunt, only to repeatedly slam his face into a tree instead!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 3: Sometimes the Guy in the Middle of the Road Gets Run Over

Sorry for the title, guys. I know it’s kind of long. I guess I just need the reminder of my all-time favorite player to cheer me up. MAN, this episode was rough!

Not that it starts out that way, of course. We actually get a charming wake-up at Sele, with Rob doing the old “tickle the nose of the sleeping Adam” routine. Little known fact, it only works on people named Adam. Our Adam doesn’t have a particularly big reaction to it, but everyone present giggles anyway. Adam takes it in stride, though. After all, he basically got his way at the last Tribal Council, so he should be happy, right? Well, while Adam is certainly pleased with the outcome, since it was a unity vote, he doesn’t see it as a victory, more Rob still controlling the narrative. He meets up with Denise, and discusses the need to get out one of the old school players, these being Rob, Ethan, and Parvati. It’s during this time we see that Danni willed her fire token to… MICHELE! No, it’s actually Denise, which I really should have mentioned last blog, and should have been a “Matt’s Mess-Up”, but this was an easy way to work it in, and saves time on the blog. We also learn that, rather than the split idol staying split, it works the way it did for the returnees on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, and if returned, becomes a full idol that need not be split. Much less interesting, and I’m disappointed in you for it, show. Adam and Denise wisely agree that of the three old-schoolers, Parvati should be the one to go. She brings the least in challenges, and isn’t connected with anyone. Contrary to what we’ll see this episode, Boston Rob is not bad in challenges overall, and Adam has a bond with Ethan. That’s why Adam goes and tells Ethan the plan to vote out Parvati… Wait…

Yes, for all that Adam talks about wanting to get out the old schoolers, that doesn’t mean he wants to make enemies of those remaining. Thus, he pitches the idea of voting out Parvati to Ethan. To his credit, Ethan clearly has been coached on the proper response in these situations. While he gives no firm commitment, he does nod along and doesn’t outright deny the plan. Where Ethan falls apart in in HOW he does these things, as his body language clearly indicates that he doesn’t want to go along with this. Sure enough, he tells us that while he has a bond with Adam, Parvati is his ride-or-die, and so he’s sticking with her over Adam. Nothing seems to come of it, but it sets up the story thread for the episode.

Over at Dakal, we see Sandra do what all great players do when they return: Change up their game (take note, Russell Hantz). I do, however, have to slightly question Sandra’s emulation choice. She’s going the Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) route, and going to catch fish via a net. Understandable that she would emulate a close ally she had seen on multiple seasons, but is Rupert, really the guy you want to emulate? Not the best track record in terms of game performance, is all I’m saying. Nevertheless, Sandra does literally net the tribe a shark, and I have to say, I’m much happier that she gets the glory rather than Tony. Look, Tony running around with a live shark is funny, but Sandra is overall the better game player, so I’m happy she got the glory. Not so happy is Tyson, which is understandable given that he’s on the bottom of the tribe. As such, he decides to throw Sandra under the bus because, well, she’s won twice. Kind of makes her the biggest threat left, now that Boston Rob and Amber aren’t around to be a pair anymore. He pitches the idea to Yul, who admits that he doesn’t trust Tyson, but takes it under consideration. When Sandra catches wind, however, she’s back on the anti-Tyson train, and Yul is now fully on board with voting Tyson out.

Heading over to the Edge of Extinction, Danni comments on the need to find food, due to the lack of coconuts on the island. Plus, you know, her original season had food provided for them, but no need to bring that up! In any case, everyone gets a clue in a bamboo tube with some shells that’s a drawing of a distinctive tree. Everyone quickly finds said tree, only to find a chest with a combination lock, and a note saying that they have the numbers and not to just guess. Naturally, everyone starts guessing, but it’s Amber who has the bright idea of going back down to the beach and looking for numbers. She finds them on the flotsam clustered around the mast, and runs back up to try them out. This would have been a BRILLIANT way to hide the number clues that could have made for a fun hunt, so naturally that’s not where the answer comes from. Instead, after a flash on the tubes, Natalie figures out that the shells on the tube give away the numbers. Wisely smashing or hiding the other tubes, she takes her own back to the lock after Amber and Danni are too tired to continue, and manages to open it. To Natalie’s credit, I will say that Edge of Extinction is where she seems to flourish. She’s so far the only one who’s managed to find any advantages to sell back, and is three for three on picking good people to sell to. Based on this, and how her game really kicked into gear on her original season when Nadiya was voted out, I can only conclude that Natalie is secretly the Incredible Hulk: She gets REALLY powerful when you make her angry.

As to the specific advantage Natalie gets, it’s a “steal a vote” to sell to someone on one tribe, with the location being at the other tribe’s camp. Does this mean a swap is incoming? No, that would be a good bit of foreshadowing. Instead, as we see shortly, it’s another “sneak into the other tribe’s camp” advantage. Ok, show, it’s really time to retire that particular method of obtaining an advantage. It’s either comically easy (like Jeremy’s was on “Survivor Cambodia”) or it’s built up to be difficult, but then is still easy. You play it up, use your clever editing tricks, but in reality, we know these people are never going to wake up and catch someone. Spare us the time for bonding with these players, and just give it to them outright. Stop making them jump through hoops.

But who exactly did Natalie decide to sell to? MICHELE! No, no, she actually goes with Sarah. A fairly logical choice. The only person Natalie can suspect of having more than one fire token at this point is Rob, who she probably doesn’t want to have advantages, so there’s not game theory to be had there. Meanwhile, Sarah is someone whose game relied heavily on advantages, and so she’d be likely to bite. Sure enough, she does, despite the supposed “risk”. See my comments above for my thoughts on how risky this actually is. Really the better argument for not buying it would be in saving up a fire token, especially since an extra vote can backfire and piss people off. Or, if you’re Stephen Fishbach, end up inadvertently leading to your own exit. Sarah is not Stephen, however, and so goes for it. Deciding she needs “cop backup”, she of course gets Tony in on this business. Tony coats Sarah’s face in ash for “camouflage”, but really, this is just how Tony does Ash Wednesday. Nice bit of synergy there, “Survivor”. After our manufactured “tension”, Sarah gets the advantage, and we move on.

Our immunity challenge today is an obstacle-course hodge-podge, ending with the bonsai tree puzzle. Barely worth commenting on, so instead I’ll say that this is where the episode begins to fall apart, and now I’m not just talking about the lackluster reused challenge. No, the misdirection on this season has so far been pretty solid, and it would seem decent enough on the surface even in this episode. But really, it’s obvious that Sele is bound to lose again, missing out on both immunity and shish-kebabs. How do I know this? Well, while both tribes got strategy and fun, Sele had a dangling story thread (Ethan not being on board with eliminating Parvati), while Dakal did not. Plus, if you’re me, and follow the “Survivor” Facebook page, you’ll note that the preview for the episode talked about the vote coming down to an “Old School/New School” split. Gee, I wonder which tribe has been talking about old school/new school, and which one hasn’t.

Really, this episode’s best misdirection comes from the challenge itself, which is really down the wire. Dakal gets an early lead which the seem to keep for most of the challenge, but Sele makes a major comeback on the puzzle. They’re literally one piece shy of victory, but that’s not good enough, and so they must go to Tribal Council. At least they get a gorgeous aerial shot of the sun on the ocean before the strategizing begins.

After a standoff, Ben and Jeremy go off to confirm that the vote is Parvati. Everyone seems to be on board, so this should be a straightforward vote, right? Well, then there’s Adam, who I love, adore, and respect, but MAN can the guy make some questionable choices. And no, I’m not talking about his telling Ethan about Parvati earlier. That move was questionable, certainly. Ethan doesn’t seem like the type who would take that well. But at least Adam and Ethan had a BOND. There was a REASON to not want him blindsided. But no, Adam is not content with just keeping Ethan happy, he needs to keep Boston Rob happy. Why? Well, Adam says he wants him around as a shield, which I can understand. No one, with the exception of Sandra, is going to draw votes more readily than Boston Rob, and so keeping him around as a target who’s helpful around camp and in challenges makes sense. My question is WHY DOES HE NEED TO BE KEPT HAPPY? Even blindsided, Boston Rob is still a shield, and by telling other people, you risk being seen as untrustworthy, and your plan leaking out to the wrong people. Oh look! Boston Rob is spilling Adam’s move to Jeremy and Michele, and now they don’t trust him, considering voting him out along with the old school players! Even Denise says it’s a dumb move! How ever did this happen?

Michele and Jeremy, as our swing votes for the evening, discuss what to do. They briefly give me a heart attack by discussing voting out Ethan as a way to weaken Rob, but that gets quickly pushed aside, and I’m sure will have NO bearing on our episode whatsoever. Instead, they debate the need to get out Parvati, and weaken Rob, against Adam’s untrustworthiness. A reasonable debate, but for me, the clear winner the choice to get rid of Parvati. True, Adam’s behavior is concerning, and you don’t want to let it sit by the wayside, but at least he seems like a solid ally. The old schoolers may be willing to work with you for a vote or two, but they’re not going to be solid with you. Also, I would differentiate Adam’s spilling of the beans versus, say, Ben’s spilling of the beans in intent. Ben spilled the beans accidentally, while Adam had logical reasons for doing so. Flawed logic, to be sure, but he knows enough to keep the people who need to be kept in the dark in the dark, and is unlikely to accidentally let something slip. Really, the only reason to get rid of Adam is to break the streak of women getting voted out this season. We head off to Tribal Council with the debate still in the air, so that’s ONE bit of misdirection in the show’s favor.

This may be a controversial opinion, but I’m not a fan of this Tribal Council. It’s hardly the worst, but I think that standoff when Sele first got back to camp carried over, as everyone as a whole felt subdued. True, Denise’s bunker metaphor was fun, if a bit confusing, and the hypocrisy of Rob calling out Adam for stating the obvious (basically what he did last time) is good for a laugh, but really, what holds this Tribal Council together is the mystery. So, our tribe is choosing between one beneficial boot (Parvati), and one that’s not as beneficial, but still has some logic behind it (Adam). So, who will our swing votes go with?

THE WRONG FREAKING ONE, THAT’S WHAT! Yes, folks, as my flimsy foreshadowing has indicated, the boot tonight is my personal favorite of the season, Ethan. As mentioned, this means that, for all the good this episode did, it now has “Jeremy Collins Downside”, which is weird, given that this season actually HAS Jeremy Collins on it. Heck, I think I may rename this “Ethan Zohn Downside” in the future. Look I give Jeremy’s boot in “Survivor San Juan del Sur” crap for a lack of foreshadowing, but compared to this, Jeremy got an entire prequel novel’s worth of foreshadowing for his boot. There was at least an entire conversation about booting him before he left. Ethan got a LINE. Literally, one sentence, indicating that he could go. Nothing else. What. A. Load. Now, would I have been happy with either of the other boots? Not entirely, but a lot of that has to do with those I WOULD be happy to see go being over on Dakal at this point. But even amongst Sele, Adam and Parvati both would have been less painful than this. Parvati, while playing a respectable game overall, doesn’t bring as much in the character department, while Adam, while very enjoyable, has been playing patchily at best this season. Both better choices than Ethan.

So, why is Ethan’s departure so painful, apart from just being my favorite? It’s the fact that he wasn’t playing badly at all. True, he was no stellar strategic genius or anything, but he seemed to be making an effort to up his game from his last outing, and making bonds with multiple people. He was targeted, near as I can tell, basically because Rob makes a better shield, and the Parvati plan got screwed due to Adam being too talkative. In other words ETHAN DID NOTHING TO EARN BEING THE BOOT! Ok, ok, to be fair, Ethan did stick loyally to the minority alliance, which is a mark against his game, but even then, you feel like he shouldn’t be first out of that group. He held his own and was helpful in challenges. He was friendly with everyone. Unless you’re in an Edgardo (“Survivor Fiji”) situation, you don’t vote out the nice guy in the minority when there’s better boots around. And true, the alliance could have been voting out of fear of Parvati having and then playing an idol, since they didn’t have enough votes to do a split vote safely, but if so, we didn’t see it, so it comes off as them sending Adam a message by getting rid of a fan-favorite winner. Hardly the dumbest move ever, but still pretty dumb, and MAN is it painful.

Much as I hate Edge of Extinction, at least Ethan gets to hang around a bit longer. He also gets to give away his fire token, and of course wills it to… MICHELE! No, no, of course he gives it to Parvati. Was there ever any doubt, with how bonded he and Parvati were?

For all my complaints, this episode is a step up from the last episode. More time devoted to non-advantage-based strategy, and a couple of fun interludes at each camp. But my longtime readers will know that, on both a micro and macro level, for me, the ending of “Survivor” is more important than the beginning. I can handle a horrible beginning if it leads to a fantastic ending, but it’s much harder to handle a horrible ending with a fantastic beginning. Guess which category this episode falls into? And yes, I am aware that the beginning part of the episode included Edge of Extinction. That was a good puzzle for them, and it highlighted the awesomeness of Natalie, so my statement stands. Yeah, not as bad as before as there are SOME redeeming qualities, but not one of the greats. I would have hope that next episode can do better, but it’s clear from the preview that Ethan has medical look at him on the Edge of Extinction, and if he gets medevaced, well, that’s just a double-whammy I’m not sure I can take.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 2: I Didn’t Consent

Yes, making the blog title a quote from a past season was TOTALLY something I had planned out ahead of time, and not something I noticed come up twice in a row and decided to just run with since it fit well with the season anyway. Why do you ask?

Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to. And hoo boy, do we have opinions tonight. Yeah, the love for this season died pretty quickly this time around, as aside from a few bright spots, this episode just kind of sucked. Not the worst I’ve ever seen from this show, but for a season this legendary, we can and should have far better. With that in mind, let’s take another moment to wrap ourselves in the cozy blanket of last episode, with another edition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Yep, only one episode in, and already we have an error. In my defense, a minor point I wanted to comment on in an episode two hours long, but a missed point nonetheless. So focussed was I on littering in Fiji that I neglected to mention one of Adam’s best moments in the last episode. Ever suspicious of production just giving up something for free, even if it’s champagne, Adam hilariously looked at the bottom of his champagne flute just to make sure there was nothing hidden under there. I’d comment on how ridiculous this looks, but honestly, it’s the smart thing to do, and I most likely would have done the same were I in his position. We may mock you sometimes, but we love you, Adam. Never change.

Sadly, we must now return to the episode at hand, which starts off with Amber desperately trying to convince us she’s still relevant to this game, before more realistically saying she’s hoping to support an eventual Rob victory. After that unfortunate flashback to “Survivor Edge of Extinction” we get to see Rob’s side of things, as he correctly assumes that his being bequeathed a fire token means Amber is most likely no longer on Dakal. He commiserates with Parvati, and tries in vain to convince himself that Sandra might have gotten voted out instead. Gotta say, even without Rob knowing that Sandra thinks she did him dirty, that seems like a stretch. Sandra don’t play that way. What have you done for her lately? She’s much more likely to bequeath it to an ally on her current tribe than you.

Moving on to one of the few good scenes we get this episode, we get shown how Ben is changing up his game. Recognizing that his idol/immunity path to the end is A: Risky and B: Unlikely to work twice, Ben has decided to adapt his idol hunting skills in a clever new way: Build trust with others by teaching them the basics of idol finding. For all the flak I gave Ben last episode, and will continue to give Ben flak this episode, this is not a terrible idea. It builds a close bond with someone while giving you a powerful secret to share, and puts the emphasis on the social aspect, rather than the advantage aspect. Granted, it has the major drawback of helping people who aren’t you find idols, and as we saw on “Survivor Island of the Idols”, help with idols can mean jack squat, but the concept as a whole is not bad. Why he’s giving these tips to DENISE, when she comes from the era when idols abounded, somewhat escapes me, but I take it Ben is against the “Old School” players, and he does help Denise find that idol, so I can’t fault him too much.

Before we get into the catch of this idol, let me just say that I love the editing of this scene. While it doesn’t go the whole “Survivor David vs. Goliath” route of telling us about the idol find before showing us, it does surprise us with the find. No triumphant music, just the “goober” music until Ben’s tips are interrupted by an idol find. Now to the catch: Similar to how returning idols worked on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, this idol must be split in half, with the other half given to someone else. Not a terrible concept, but I have to admit, it feels too “cute”. It just seems like a needless wrinkle complicating a game where there’s already far too many idols and advantages, to the point where chyrons need to be altered to keep track. That said, there’s potential there, since as Denise notes, it can be helpful in building social bonds. Ben isn’t pushy about getting half himself, even though he’d have every right to do so, so Denise thinks he’s on board. She talks with Adam, a solid ally, about what to do. Adam is upset about Ben knowing about the idol, correctly recognizing that Ben has not been so great at keeping a secret this season, and gets even more upset when Denise suggests trusting Parvati with the other half of the idol. Look, Denise, I’m not opposed to using the idol half as a social bond, but do it with someone YOUR ALLIANCE CAN TRUST, AND IS NOT TRYING TO TARGET! Give it to a swing vote you don’t think will screw you over. If you weren’t going to use it as insurance for Ben, then I’d say Ethan (he’s been seen talking with Adam, so he might be persuaded to your side) would be the safest bet, especially as he’s probably not cutthroat enough to screw you over, but Michele would not be a bad choice either. In the end, Denise chooses Adam, evidently abandoning the “bonding” strategy. Can’t fault it from the “Likely to get the idol half back” perspective, though.

So far, all of Sele’s content has been centered around idols and advantages. Well, can’t leave Dakal out of that discussion! After a brief interlude where Yul rigs up a piece of bamboo to get a breadfruit (a device so unwieldy that he himself admits he probably burns more calories getting the breadfruit than he would from the breadfruit), we cut over to Kim, who despite the reassurances at the end of the last Tribal Council, still feels on the outs. As such, she goes idol hunting, which she describes as a spiritual experience. Oh God, please don’t tell me we’re going back to “Survivor South Pacific” again! I can’t take it! No, the dramatic music proves that Kim finds an idol, and learns of the twist, same as Sele. Given that Yul gave Kim that reassuring pat at the end of the last Tribal Council, I’d have thought he’d be her top choice, but she goes with Sophie, his lieutenant, due to have a “connection” with her. On paper, not a bad second choice. Sophie, however, makes it clear that Kim made a terrible mistake, so her idol likely won’t help her much. Gee, so much fun to see the players I respect make moves that make them look like idiots!

Unfortunately, we now need to cut back to the Edge of Extinction, as it’s once again time to find an advantage to sell. Amber and Natalie get a nice cryptic note that does do a good job of hiding the location of the advantage, though I think something like that would have worked better if there was a way for viewers to play along. Do something similar to “Survivor Nicaragua” and release the clue online for others to try and figure out. Admittedly, since these advantages need to be found in the same episode, it would be hard to do, but you could release the clue early or something. Instead, we the audience are clued in that taken together, the first letters of each line spell “Water well”, meaning that even if Amber and Natalie can’t figure out the clue, one of them is likely to stumble across it in passing. Which, after scouring the entire island, is exactly what happens. Natalie finds “Safety without power”, meaning someone can be immune from the vote, but also not vote themselves. Not bad. At least it’s different from a regular old idol. Natalie tells us she needs to figure out who had fire tokens left, and who’s likely to buy, as there’s no restriction on which tribe she can sell to this time.

Or, you know, she could sell it to her best buddy! I kid of course. While I’m certain a personal bond had something to do with it, she DOES know that Jeremy has two fire tokens, and is on the outs due to her ouster, so he’s not a bad choice at all. Jeremy takes the time to schill for the fire tokens as a twist. Yay. It doesn’t feel forced at all.

Meanwhile, at Dakal, we get the best scene of the night. Tony, so far, has been doing a great job of changing up his game, keeping himself under control, and not making himself seem unreliable. Of course, that manic energy has to go somewhere, and apparently that energy this time has gone into channeling the spirit of Angelina Keeley “Survivor David vs. Goliath”, in and of that he builds a ladder to gather, you guessed it, more food. The thing, at first, looks pretty well put-together, and it seems as though Sophie and Tyson snarking at it is just them being their usual snarky selves. Then, as we see it go up a tree with rungs swinging free, you really start to wonder about Tony’s sanity. Even Tyson is concerned, and if the man who played two seasons with COACH is questioning your sanity, you’ve got issues.

Tony is not without strategy, however, and we get a bit of him talking with Sarah on the beach. We see that Tony has not fully learned from his past, as he doesn’t do a good job managing his threat level, wanting to go public about his alliance with Sarah, on the grounds that everyone will think that anyway. Sarah, however, rightly points out that pairs are being targeted this season, as evidenced by the boots of Natalie and Amber, and so they need to keep on the down-low. Why either Sarah or Tony trusts the other, I’m not exactly sure, but I gather this is a case of “The Devil You Know” for both of them. Needless to say, Sarah has the right idea here.

Perhaps a bit early to talk about my overall thoughts on the episode, but as I said, this is the best scene in the episode, so let me talk about what’s so disappointing about this episode: The focus. We’ve only got two people on the Edge of Extinction, but with all the talk of fire tokens and idols and advantages, they dominate the conversation. While I would not want them eliminated entirely, neither of these things should be the FOCUS of the episode. But with the exception of one or two moments, it’s all focused on idols and strategy, when a good episode, like the last one, provides a balance of BOTH human moments and strategic moments. It doesn’t help that a lot of the talk, particularly around the fire tokens, feels forced, with everyone using the “economy” metaphor. Again, I don’t think it’s a bad twist in principle, but stop trying to force it down our throats, show. It’s like medicine: It doesn’t matter if it tastes delicious, the fact that we HAVE to take it makes us hate it. This season doesn’t need to be bad, but it damn well seems to be trying to be.

On to our immunity challenge, which is a pretty good one. “Dragging the Dragons” from “Survivor Cagayan”, specifically the first immunity challenge of that season. Hauling crates on a cart, disassembling and reassembling that cart, and a sweet puzzle at the end. A solid challenge if ever there was one. While I wouldn’t say the misdirection is a STRENGTH for this episode, it’s not too bad going into this challenge. We’ve gotten more strategy talk from Sele than Dakal, but we’ve gotten enough story from both sides that either is plausible. Fittingly, most of the challenge is fairly even. Dakal pulls ahead towards the end, but then Sele comes back on the first puzzle portion. In a nice twist, however, the tribe we see strategize despite Probst’s taunting actually doesn’t pull out a clutch victory. Rob tries to SORT the pieces before putting them in, which is a solid strategy, Probst. Quit your whining. Yes, I know it does lead to a Sele loss, but I’m not sure that was the problem. Sele, as I’ve hinted, does lose, but I don’t think it was the blowout that Probst makes it out to be. Rob had a solid strategy. It just didn’t work this time. Parvati leads us out saying that one of the new school players needs to go, thereby ensuring that the boot is an old-school player this time around.

We start off with some good-natured ribbing of Rob by Ethan, before we see that pair plus Parvati discuss who among the minority should go. Jeremy is the most on the outs, but Ben’s volatility makes him a possibility as well. I would go into how Ben is the clear superior choice to eliminate this episode, since volatility is to always be avoided on “Survivor”, and Jeremy has shown a previous willingness to work with his enemies, but it doesn’t matter, because it’s clear that neither of them will be the target tonight. The mechanism comes from Danni, who’s getting particularly paranoid after all her time out of the game. Thus, since she tells us she isn’t being talked to, she’s on the outs, and needs to flip the scrip. Specifically against Parvati, since she and Parvati were apparently close, and now Parvati won’t talk to her. The issue with this is that we haven’t SEEN this happen yet! We had ONE shot where Ethan, Rob, and Parvati talked without Danni. Otherwise, there’s no risk to her that we see. I don’t think Danni’s an idiot, so I doubt this is coming out of nowhere. I’d bet money that she really was excluded to some degree, whether intentionally or unintentionally, Danni was excluded. But we didn’t see that. Instead, we had to deal with Edge of Extinction, and idols, and fire tokens. You see where I’m going with this?

Danni’s downfall continues when she talks to Ethan about the old school alliance with Ben present. Ethan, ever the charmer, tries to play it off to Ben, but even Ben isn’t that foolish. He’s now on the warpath against the new schoolers, but he may not need to do much. Ethan spilled the beans to Rob, and now Danni is back to being the target. Understandable, and good news for Adam, who wanted to break up that group to begin with. He talks with Jeremy and Michele, both of whom are fully on board. Jeremy, who we now see won the season called “Survivor Safety Without Power” (thanks, chyron), is mostly happy that it isn’t him, but he wonders if now is the time to take out a big target. Adam latches on to this as well, noting that between himself, Danni, Denise, Jeremy, and Michele, they have the votes to get rid of Parvati. Good thinking on Adam’s part, and an interesting debate. On the whole, though, I would say not rocking the boat and going for Danni would be the correct move at this juncture for the group. Yes, Parvati is a bigger target, but since this group seems reluctant to target Rob (due to his strength, and though it’s not mentioned, probably due to his wife being voted out, thereby lowering his threat level somewhat), you need a standard to rally against. Danni is not that standard. Parvati is. It would be one thing if Danni and Parvati were still aligned, and the group was deciding who to target with no other influences. But they’re at odds, and you can vote out Danni as a relative consensus boot, while still keeping the numbers against the old school players. The debate rages as we head off to Tribal.

At first, this Tribal Council seems like it will be fairly quiet compared to the previous ones. Then, of course, Ben gets involved. ben comments on the paranoia of the old school players, but makes the mistake of saying that he himself was not paranoid. Ethan jumps on this, followed by Rob and Parvati. All point out the conversations he’s had with other players, leading Ben to backtrack and say that he is paranoid. This initially seems like it will just lead to the usual whispering, but Boston Rob calls for a Hali Ford (“Survivor Worlds Apart”) strip search, asking everyone to turn out their bags. Denise, fortunate enough to be sitting on the end, is able to hide her idol behind the flap of her bag. In his one gaffe of the night, Adam weighs in on the idol debate when he didn’t need to. Drawing attending he did not need on himself, and by his actions, hinting he has an idol. He doesn’t take a lot of flak for it, but it seems to me a narrow miss.

With Ben now a target, we head to vote in our lazy urn. While this episode has many flaws, I will say the outcome is still a mystery as we vote. Heck, even Ben now returns as a viable target after his performance, but on the whole, given his strength, I’d say Danni is still the smart move. And that’s what the tribe goes with, getting rid of a consensus vote while maintaining the majority alliance. That said, Danni is the first boot I’m really sad to see go. Like with Kim so far, I’m just disappointed that a player I so respect flopped around and gave a poor performance, plus, as the first returnee from “Survivor Guatemala”, I really wanted her to do well. Hopefully this does not impact the future returnee prospects of the season.

Like I said earlier, this episode just fails on so many levels. Apart from the occasional bright spot, it was mostly forced talk about idols and advantages, leading to a depressing exit. While there are far worse sins an episode can have (this one had decent mystery at least), for a season that should be legendary, it leaves a lot to be desired. Still, I need to cheer myself up, so I say it’s time for another:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

Ok, so I wanted to talk about this last episode, but the blog was running long. Still, the lameness of that urn cannot be denied, and must be discussed. I don’t usually talk about the urns on the show because, well, they’re usually not the focus at the point in the episode when they show up. They are an integral part of the show, though, so now we’re going to discuss the best and worst of all time, starting at the top.

TOP 5

5. “Survivor Cagayan”: With rare exception, most urns are round or cylindrical. This one, however, was basically an ominous black cube with a lot of pointy bits. Dark, foreboding, and memorable, this one was always going to be on the list. It loses points, though, for those pointy bits. While they do help distinguish the urn, it also has a lot of little details on it. Normally not such a bad thing, but it makes the urn feel “busy” and tough to look at in the brief glimpses we get on the show, which loses it some points.

4. “Survivor China”: Sort of a blend between cylinder and cube, this was an urn that was just on point, plain and simple. A faded gold look and Chinese characters on the sides helped it fit with the season, and it brought the grandeur needed from an urn. Just a solid, memorable job.

3. “Survivor Micronesia”: We’re into cylinder territory now, and frankly, the urn of this season could easily have slipped into obscurity. Seashells, carvings on the side? We’ve seen this before. The strength of this urn, however, comes when the lid comes off. While having the carvings extend up over the edge with the lid off is a bit off-putting at first, but it makes for an impactful silhouette, and helps the idea that lid and urn are meant to fit together, the carvings acting almost as latches. Clever way to distinguish it, show.

2. “Survivor Gabon”: Above all else, authenticity, or at least the appearance of authenticity, is key in an urn. With the exception of our number one slot, no season does that better than “Survivor Gabon”. The faces on the urn match those seen at the challenges and Tribal Council, unifying the season, and feel like an authentic Gabonese art piece (which it very well could be, I don’t know). That, alone, is a feather in the cap of this urn.

1. “Survivor Borneo”: Now, “Survivor Borneo” is not known for having a strong aesthetic theme. I mean, they used literal Pier One tiki torches at Tribal Council, for crying out loud! But that urn, man, that urn. Unlike most every other urn, this one really feels like it was made by some guy out on a deserved island. I think it’s the lid, coiled like a snake, that sells it. That was an art project we had in elementary school, making clay snakes, and so it adds to the idea that this could have been made by someone with materials on the island. That, alone, is enough to earn it the top spot on this list.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Palau”: To be fair the urn from “Survivor Palau” is on theme. Using a WWII ammo box on the season centered around WWII? Can’t think of anything more appropriate. The trouble is, army surplus tends to favor form over function, and at the end of the day, it’s just a box. The attached lid is nice, but not enough to earn it a spot proper.

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Winners at War”: For all my complaints, this urn really isn’t that bad. It gets the job done, fits with the “theme” of flotsam. It just feels lazy. I’m sorry.

4. “Survivor Game Changers”: I’m coming to realize I don’t like “flotsam” urns. They just feel like a way for the production department to not try to hard. Still, at least this season’s urn is functional AS an urn. It keeps the votes secret. But a lamp is, wait for it, translucent! You may not be able to read the votes, but you can definitely see them. That just feels wrong.

3. “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”: Not flotsam, but just as lazy. Yeah, stick a bunch of tiki heads together, and call it an urn. See how memorable that is.

2. “Survivor Vanuatu”: This one takes the concept of the “Survivor Gabon” urn, but does it so much worse. Maybe I’m insulting a culture’s art style, but the faces on these urns just feel weak, like a kindergartener did it. And while I acknowledge the pig tusks are appropriate, they just don’t work well with the concept of the urn.

1. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Perhaps an odd choice, as this urn is nothing if not unique, which I usually like. I mean, the thing’s an envelope. How many other urns have THAT distinction? But the problem with envelopes is… THEY’RE FLAT! It’s hard enough to remember an urn when they’re 3-D. If we can’t even see the darn thing when it’s on the table with Probst, it really stands no chance at being remembered.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Pearl Islands”: This one’s really not that bad. Nice and shiny. But this was a pirate themed season. Why was the urn not a treasure chest? FAIL!

Hoo boy, that was a rough episode. Hopefully the next one will be better.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 1: It Grew Legs and Walked Away

It’s only fitting, as we enter an anniversary season, that we start things off with a call back to the PREVIOUS anniversary season. It seems not just machetes, but now hatchets, are walking away from camp, explaining the utter lack of conflicts that were at all foreshadowed ahead of this episode.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone’s entitled to! And hoo boy, are we going to have some opinions tonight! And the rest of the season, most likely. Returnees tend to engender strong feelings, so even if this season turns out to be garbage, the blogging should be good. Let us dive in, and see whether we’re headed in the direction of heaven, or the titular garbage pile.

For being a milestone season, I’ll say that our opening five minutes are fairly subdued. Just your usual shots of vehicle porn for the show, and interviews from some of the more famous players. Mostly not worth commenting on, since they tend to be generic quotes about their journeys, but I must comment briefly on Parvati’s first confessional, specifically her “Phoenix rising from the ashes” bit. Not that I think Parvati would ever go for this, but in the vein of Davie Rickenbacker (“Survivor David vs. Goliath”), I have to say: Parvati could pull off an excellent Dark Phoenix cosplay. Come on, universe, make it happen!

Once everyone hits the sand bar, Probst briefs us on the history of “Survivor”, or at least the time scale. Yes, to bring back an “Idol Speculation” tradition, Probst is once again stealing my ideas. I wrote an article on my definitions of the different eras of “Survivor” for “Inside Survivor” recently, and used the various world milestones to have come and gone to demonstrate the passage of time. Probst steals my idea nearly verbatim, even using some of the same comparisons I have. We check in with Ethan, who reminds us of his surviving cancer; Amber mostly for the length of time since she played; and Yul, who reaffirms his nerd cred by referencing time travel. Good to know some things never change. Sandra informs us that she’s pissed at Boston Rob, since he said during their stay on Island of the Idols that he wouldn’t play again, yet is back. Could be a lie, but I don’t know. With the timing of when people were asked, it’s not impossible that Rob just changed his mind beforehand. Still, he has incurred the wrath of Sandra, and that doesn’t go away easily, but we’ll get back to that. Probst uncovers, not a reward, but champagne for the group, in celebration of the 20th anniversary milestone for the show. Everyone partakes in what is ultimately a subdued, but respectful moment, marred only by littering the sandbar when everyone tosses their champagne flutes behind them.

Probst then divides the group into tribes, red Dakal and blue Sele. Really, CBS? Those names were too complex to send out with the cast reveal? Just seems like kind of a pointless hold back, is what I’m saying. Probst goes on to explain a few new features of the season: The $2,000,000 prize (appropriate), fire tokens (a good idea that should have been saved for its own season), and the Edge of Extinction. Yes, my thoughts on this twist are well-documented, though there are a couple of points I feel compelled to comment on. One is that my stance on Edge of Extinction has softened VERY slightly, and I now mind it less on an all-returnee season, such as this, rather than a mixed or all-newbie season, like its previous iteration. You see, with returnees, we theoretically don’t need time to bond with them. We remember who they are. We already have strong feelings about them. Granted this doesn’t do much to attract new viewers, but that’s not really the point of a returnee season in the first place. Thus, unlike Edge of Extinction on any other season, we don’t lose time better spent bonding with the cast on the Edge of Extinction instead. All the other problems of Edge of Extinction still exist, so I still hate it, just slightly less than I previously expressed. The other point comes from Probst, whose phrasing implies that one no longer has a choice, and MUST go to the Edge of Extinction if voted out. This is later proven true by our two first boots, and I must admit, when I heard this, I was pissed off. One of the few intriguing bits for me about Edge of Extinction was seeing what forces, if any, would force someone to not even try for a return, particularly on a season of winners, who theoretically have nothing to prove. Then it occurred to me that no one gave up without at least going last time, and someone could just raise the sail anyway, so I got over it.

We then start off a way fewer and fewer seasons have been starting off: a challenge! And moreover, one NOT combined with the looting of a ship (or other location). Don’t get me wrong, ship looting is exciting, but it’s been overdone by this point. True, these were combined with group challenges on both “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” and “Survivor Cambodia”, but the effect wasn’t quite the same. The last time we had such a raw opening was on “Survivor Caramoan”, seven years ago. Overdue for a return, I must say. The challenge itself sees pairs go out and fight for a buoy in the water, trying to drag it back to a tribe-colored flagpole, with the first team to three winning. First seen on “Survivor Palau”, this iteration most closely resembles its “Survivor Caramoan” incarnation. I would complain about the reused challenge, but to do so on a season paying tribute to the show’s history would be wrong. Reusing challenges is not only expected, it’s a nice touch. I could complain about none of the winners from those seasons being present, but that’s neither here nor there.

The stakes are high in this one. Fire, as you’d expect, is the main reward, but it’s also an immunity challenge. Plus, the losers don’t even get rice until after their first Tribal Council. This gives us our first look at this season’s immunity idol, which I am not a fan of. It’s basically a skull and crossbones with some gold coins for eyes. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve definitely had WORSE idols, and unlike last season, this one seems to have had effort put into it, but there’s nothing about it that screams “Winners at War”. I think it’s the gold coins, though, that do it in for me. They just make it look tacky, and while I don’t mind a certain amount of cheese on “Survivor”, I would hope a season like this would command more respect.

There’s not that many good matches in this set up, with most of them being blowouts for Dakal. Rob and Ben do work together to score one point for Sele, but Dakal still wins 3-1, with oddly Natalie of all people losing twice. She seemed to me at the outset like the type who would dominate this challenge, yet she didn’t seem able to do much, even against Amber of all people. Weird. Just to rub salt in the wound, Probst then tells Sele that their first Tribal Council won’t be until night two. It gives them some time to strategize, but leaves them without rice for the time being.

We check in with Dakal at first, who are naturally very happy about winning the first challenge, recap us on the fire tokens, and get to building the shelter. We get our first bit of hypocrisy with Wendell, who ends up taking the lead role in shelter-building despite saying pre-season that he would not be doing so. I’m being a bit harsh, since he was forced into the role by Sandra somewhat, but still, you think he would have held out a bit more. We also get some character development, with three players who weren’t parents when they last played (Sarah, Amber, and Tyson) bonding over the ways they left for their children to remember them while they were gone. It’s a touching little scene that shows a side of these players we haven’t necessarily seen before. Less so Sarah, since she WAS a mom when she last played, but it wasn’t as big a part of her story then as it is now. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, though, as Sandra remarks on her feud with Tony from “Survivor Game Changers”, which we are unfortunately reminded of in one of many flashbacks when players reference previous events. Ok, so this has happened a couple of times in previous seasons, but I swear it happens every five minutes here, and it drives me over the edge. With one exception I’ll get to shortly, this is retelling us information we know, and it just wastes time. I get that this is a tribute season, but since it’s a tribute season, it’s made for SUPERFANS, you know, people who already KNOW this stuff! With so many things, like Edge of Extinction, taking up time this season, it baffles me that production continues to throw in more unnecessary time-wasters than they need. Oh, and that Sandra/Tony feud? Doesn’t go anywhere. Moving on.

Sele is oddly optimistic for such a crushing first blow, with more bonding over new family members, this time between Jeremy and Parvati. It’s not as interesting (since there’s not really specifics talked about like at Dakal), so we skip right over that and shelter-building to strategizing. Or at least, people doing a dumb. Adam and Denise volunteer to go look for the water well, and on the way, Adam asks to be Malcolm 2.0. Not a bad strategy for either of them, since the pair seem to be on the same wavelength, and Denise accepts, leading Adam to appropriately freak out at being compared to Malcolm. Apart from Adam having won already, that can pretty much only be an upward comparison. However, their split from the group has not gone unnoticed, and the pair are the only named targets as we go to commercial.

Back at Dakal, we see that hell has frozen over, as Tony Vlachos ACTUALLY CHANGED UP HIS GAME! Never thought I’d live to see the day you guys, but it’s here! Tony is somehow able to control his need to do all of the things at once, and is hanging around camp rather than going idol-hunting! Both a smart move, and learning from the mistakes of the past! I never! The person who is idol-hunting, funnily enough, is Amber. She rightly figures that she’ll have a target on her back due to being, you know, married to another player. She points out that being such an obvious target should make her not a threat, but that’s the catch-22 of a couple on “Survivor”. Yes, they’re an obvious target, thereby making them not a threat, but if you don’t target them, they become a threat. Better just to vote them out to simplify things. Amber comes up empty-handed, though not for want of trying. She rooted around in suspicious-looking trees, so she’s on the right track.

It’s time to further clarify our targets and Sele. Boston Rob and Parvati are the first to put aside old grudges this time around, and agree to work together as huge threats to protect each other. This alone may not be enough, though, as Danni is the first person to float the idea of getting rid of the pairs to other people, specifically throwing out Boston Rob as an option. Again, not a bad plan, though perhaps a bit early, given that he’s been shown as your main challenge competitor so far, and you know the Edge of Extinction is coming up. Better not to piss off Boston Rob this early. I can’t fault the logic, though. However, Danni should probably have chose who she spoke with better. Ben, not doing a good job of proving that his win was not purely based on idols and immunity wins, spills everything to Boston Rob under only light questioning. Boston Rob, in turn, confronts Danni, who while saying she talked about everybody, does admit to throwing out his name. In an odd twist, Boston Rob does not swear revenge, but instead sets up an “old-school” alliance, plus Ben, with her. Seems a bit bizarre to me, but all right, I applaud outside-the-box thinking, like with allying with Parvati when no one would likely suspect it. Thus, our core now seems to be Boston Rob, Parvati, Danni, Ethan, and Ben, with whoever else they can pull in to solidify against Adam and Denise. Way to clarify those targets, show.

Of course, Dakal is not going to be left out of this action, as Yul and Sophie agree to form an alliance. Understandable, since it’s mutually beneficial. Yul needs someone who’s played more recently to help him adjust to the new twists in the game, and Yul serves as a “social shield” for Sophie, as she puts it. Not bad for either of them, and they pull in Wendell and Nick as the other singles. Plus, with the possible exception of Nick, all of them are varying degrees of nerd. As a fellow nerd, I am all in favor of the “Revenge of the Nerds” alliance. Yes, it seems Nick’s not the only one who can give his alliance dumb nicknames.

We cut back to Sele with a snake and crab engaged in battle, no doubt referencing Sue Hawk’s infamous “Crabs and Snakes” speech from “Survivor Borneo”. So, NOW we’re going to find out who’s being targeted, right? Well, we at least find out WHY we haven’t found out who’s being targeted: These people can’t make up their minds. They waffle back and forth between Adam and Denise, but non one wants to definitively say “ok, it’s this person” for fear of that making them a target. Things do seem to settle on Adam, which I do feel is the better choice. As one of the youngest people on this season, the dude isn’t going to fit in as well, and doesn’t bring much in the challenge department apart from puzzles. Not a terrible skill, but not worth keeping around over Denise, who has shown her challenge chops. Sure enough, they seem to settle on Adam, but this doesn’t sit well with Ben. Realizing that he’s going to be slaughtered unless he allies with a smart person, Ben wants to keep Adam around, and lets him know his name’s been brought up. Fortunately, the indecisiveness of the majority earlier leaves an opening, and Adam quite aggressively targets Natalie, correctly noting that she and Jeremy are a more under-the-radar pair, but still dangerous as a result. Good on him for noticing that. I thought that might slip under the radar, due to their individually memorable moments happening on different seasons. Count on the superfan to remember the trivia. Adam pitches the idea to Ethan, who doesn’t get a straight answer shown, but does pass on the idea to Rob and Parvati, showing that it’s being entertained. Boston Rob and Parvati marvel at their lack of being targeted as we head off to Tribal, with a good bit of uncertainty as to who will go. Adam and Natalie seem like the two targets, but who among them is a mystery. Adam’s had more confessionals, but Natalie did get a lot of shots in the opening challenge, and there’s good evidence as to why either of them could go. As to who should go? Well, that largely depends on who you are. Adam doesn’t fit in as well, but Natalie is part of a pair. If you’re someone who doesn’t have a pair in this game, like most of the majority alliance, Natalie is therefore the correct boot. If you’re someone like, say, Boston Rob, who DOES have a pair in this game, then you want Adam gone, as setting the precedent of breaking up pairs only hurts you and your other half. I’d say Natalie is probably the more correct decision, since the majority of the majority benefits from her exit, but there’s good logic behind both.

Our Tribal Council set this time is… a castle. Yes, an honest-to-goodness castle, complete with crenelated ramparts. You know, to honor all those humongous castles Fiji is known for. I kid, I kid. Thematic appropriateness to the location is less important on a returnee season, and the overall design is quite cool, and on a season that’s been aesthetically lackluster so far, I’ll take it. Our Tribal Council passes by pretty quickly, with a few explosive moments thrown in. Ethan talks about his culture shock at the game, but in a way that makes him seem like a naive, but learning, newcomer as opposed to a know-it-all old-timer. This is the personality Ethan needs to cultivate, and he does so with his trademark charm, so kudos on a good start. Adam once again aggressively points out the couples threat of Jeremy and Natalie, which Boston Rob deflects by pointing out that everyone’s a target on a season like this. Way to minimize your own target, Rob old buddy. And, of course, no modern Tribal Council would be complete without whispering, as Jeremy speculates with Ben about whether Rob’s pulling a fast one or not. After hearing Ethan exclaim how happy he is to be back in voting confessional, we head to commercial while the votes are tallied. While we’re waiting, fun fact: In all five seasons he’s been a player on, this is the first time I’m rooting for a tribe with Boston Rob on it from the start.

Our votes are tallied and despite Denise and Adam receiving three votes between them, Natalie goes home. As I say, it was the smart decision, and personally, I think it was the best outcome for this tribe. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike Natalie, but I always felt her win was overhyped, and I think Denise and Adam are overall more interesting. I’d rather someone from Dakal went home, but if it had to be from Sele, Natalie is not a bad choice. Plus, this means I CALLED IT! I CALLED IT! I TOLD YOU NATALIE WOULD BE THE FIRST BOOT! Granted, I said she would be the first boot on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, and for entirely different reasons than why she was booted, but still, I CALLED IT!

We also learn that our voting urn this time around is just a barrel. How exciting. Yet more laziness from the production team.

Natalie, of course, wills her fire token to Jeremy, but nothing much comes of it. Instead, we check back with Dakal, and get more clarification on the alliance divisions. Yul clarifies that his foursome is between two threesomes. There’s the “Game Changers” group of Sarah, Tony, and Sandra, proving once again that the scene of Sandra being mad at Tony was pointless. Yul, however, is more worried about the “Poker Alliance” of Amber, Kim, and Tyson. THIS is the one flashback that actually makes sense to include, as not everyone may have seen the titular poker game. Basically, Tyson joked in a game with Rob, Kim, and Jeremy about allying if they ever played again, thus getting Amber in by proxy. Yul is most threatened by this alliance, and he and his group tentatively agree to target Amber, but we cut away with no firm decision made.

We can infer that two of the three Denise votes were from Jeremy and Natalie, but who was the third? Turns out it’s Michele, who is not happy, both wanting to prove herself after her controversial win, and not wanting to go out early. I have to say, this is the one real misstep in the story of this episode. For the most part, the show has made everyone’s reasoning and strategy clear, while still keeping us in the dark about the outcome. A tough balancing act, and they do it well, with no real plot points coming out of nowhere. Michele being left out is the exception, as there’s no reasoning ever given as to how or why she was left out, and it’s a plotline I hope gets touched on next episode. Luckily for Michele, Ben, who she’s talking to, says not to worry, as he now wants an old-schooler gone, worried about their power. Not much about the mechanism for doing so is discussed, but it’s not a bad bit of strategy foreshadowing for later episodes. Also, Jeremy finds his fire token. Yay.

Oh goodie! Edge of Extinction! When we could be learning about other things! Well, we do still learn stuff. Natalie finds out that she can use fire tokens to buy advantages for later in the game, or food for her time on the Edge of Extinction. She’s unsure how to do so, but gets told to go for a walk. She eventually finds an idol good for three Tribal Councils she can sell to someone who loses the next challenge, and desperately tries to convince us she’s still in the game. Oh, Natalie. Of course you’re still in the game. In the interests of screen time, however, we wish you weren’t.

On to our immunity challenge, a tribute to obstacle courses from time immemorial, though most notably taking elements from the second immunity challenge of “Survivor Game Changers”. Not as big a fan, but fine. At least the mystery is good, as both tribes have had decent strategy talk and clear alliances formed prior to the challenge. Despite several advantages, including sitting out Sandra on a challenge that doesn’t involve a puzzle (always a smart move), and Sele losing time both in rowing and getting over a log, Dakal loses, making things much more intriguing for us. Also, props to Sele for that comeback. They were WAY behind on the challenge at the log portion. It rivals Kass’ comeback on “Survivor Cagayan”. Not surpass, mind you, but rival. Still, I have to call Probst on giving Boston Rob ALL the credit for getting people over the log. It was a team effort, and pretty much every launch was aided by Ben as well. On a more positive note, this means Denise avoids her FIRST TRIBAL COUNCIL EVER! YAY!

Dakal is a bit of a different beast than Sele in terms of strategy. There’s not much of a shift in who’s in power and who’s not, but rather who of the poker alliance will be targeted. Amber seems like the likely one, but after Sandra (purely for shits and giggles) puts it into Tony’s head that Tyson dropped his name, Tyson is now Tony’s number one target. Never change, Sandra. Tyson gets wind of this, and starts pleading for his life, switching the target back to Amber. Then Kim gets a vibe that it’s her, and has a mini-breakdown about now being in power. Yeah, this is sad to see. Kim played one of the most dominant games ever seen on the show, and while this made her a threat, I also thought it gave her the skills to survive any situation. Yet she does not handle being on the bottom well, as we see at Tribal Council.

We also find out that Natalie offered Sandra the chance to buy the idol from Edge of Extinction. I personally would have gone with Amber, theorizing that pairs would be an early target, meaning she would need said idol, and thus throw the opposing tribe (I take it Natalie still wants Jeremy to do well) into chaos. Still, Sandra is also a likely target, and a challenge sink when puzzles aren’t involved, so not a bad choice. Sandra does buy it, and again, at the price of one fire token, I can’t really fault her, given the size of her target.

But back to what I was saying about Kim. You see, unlike the Sele Tribal Council, there’s really one one standout moment at this Tribal Council, unless you count Probst throwing in more “Wow, it’s been so long since you’ve played” commentary in regards to Amber, which I don’t. No, the “Poker alliance” is brought up, and again, Kim does not handle it well, her composure cracking, and her protests that there is no such alliance falling on deaf ears. As we go to vote, of the three, I would say Amber is still the smartest bet. With the possible exception of Sarah and Tony (and despite his improvement this season so far, I would say that Tony is still considered erratic enough to not be a solid pair with Sarah), there’s no pairs on this tribe, so getting rid of them is the obvious move. Thus, Amber brings nothing to the table challenge-wise, unlike Kim and Tyson.

Once again, the smart move is made, and Amber goes home. Again, I am not sorry, and not at all surprised. Kim’s preformance does net her a couple of votes (along with one extra vote for Nick), but in the end, the tribe does the smart thing. Amber brought little of value to the game, and getting rid of her breaks up a major pregame alliance. Amber, in a shocking twist, wills her fire token to… MICHELE! No, of course she gives it to Boston Rob, what did you expect?

For all my worrying, this season is off to a fantastic start! Admittedly, there are still a couple of issues. Aesthetically, this season is just a mess, with more misses than hits, and the Edge of Extinction is still a worrying factor. That said, this season had the grandeur that an all-winners season deserves, the challenges were epic, the misdirection well-done, and the storyline mostly clear, with a few threads to be cleaned up next episode, hopefully. There’s still plenty of time to ruin it, but right now, I’d say this season is on the right path.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Cast Assessment

Well, here we are! The official cast photos have been released, biographies are now up on the official website, we’ve got a new preview video… And yet we STILL don’t know the tribe names? What the heck, CBS? We can SEE who’s on what tribe in your videos. Make it easy on us and just break down the division. It would sure make my life easier.

Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to. Somewhat less knee-jerk this time around since we’ve had a pretty good idea of who’s going to be on this cast for some time now, but here we are nonetheless. Time for me to talk about which winners I think have the skills to pay the bills, and the ones I think will wish they’d sat this season out. Since this is an all-returnee season, though, there’s a couple of bits of business to get out of the way. First off, the biographical information is going to be somewhat limited this time, basically just being the contestants name, season they won (it would take too long to list every season, and pointless to write “winner” over and over again), and which tribe they’re on. This is partly because I’m assuming some familiarity with these people from the readers of this blog, but also because, on a returnee season, these factors don’t matter as much in my opinion. With an all-newbie season, the writings are pretty much all we’ve got to go on. Here, however, we’ve SEEN these people play before, so things like their occupation and pet peeves don’t matter as much. Now, I have read the cast bios, and will occasionally bring them up, but most of my assessment will be based on how they played before/the dynamics endemic to a returnee season in this day and age. Since Edge of Extinction is regrettably back, I should explain that I’ll be keeping my ratings for how people do the same nonetheless. If I think someone can win their way back into the game, I will reflect this, but unless you win your way back in, or someone quits before you, when you were voted out is when you were voted out. Sitting on an island making friends we don’t get to see doesn’t count. As per usual with a returnee season, I’ll be mentioning when I think a player doesn’t fit, or I think someone else would have been better, and listing my preferred replacement beneath. And finally, on a lighter note, I’ll be calling these tribes “Red” and “Blue”, since again, CBS hasn’t given us their names for some stupid reason. Now, on to the assessment, in chronological order by first win!

Ethan Zohn (“Survivor Africa”, Blue Tribe): With Ethan, we have what I believe to be an “Idol Speculation” first: My favorite player of the season is the first one we talk about. “Survivor Africa” has always been one of my personal favorite seasons (it would probably make my top 5 if I didn’t have the nostalgia goggles on for “Survivor Guatemala”), and while I’m not going to sit here and say that Ethan is the greatest character to come out of the season, he’s still a lot of fun. A distinctive look, a good story, and just generally a nice guy. I could go on and on about just how likable Ethan is, but frankly, I think T-Bird said it best: “What can you say that’s bad about Ethan? Nuthin’!” This still holds true today. Plus, it’s intriguing to me to see how someone from such a different era of “Survivor” plays in the modern day, as Ethan now ties with another player on this season for longest gap between returns at 16 years. Even to this day, Ethan is one of the top social games ever played, and we’ve seen with the recent victories of Tommy Sheehan (“Survivor Island of the Idols”) and Wendell Holland (“Survivor Ghost Island”) that this style of gameplay is still very dangerous, and can realistically net someone a win. So, Ethan is my male pick to win the whole thing right? Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…Nnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooo. Much as I love Ethan, and hope that I’m wrong in my assessment, I peg him as a pre-merge boot on this season. There’s two different, but related, factors to why I don’t see Ethan having a long shelf-life in this game. Ethan’s style of gameplay definitely still holds up, but he’s also been very vocal online about how “easy” the game is these days, and when he has talked about coming back, it’s to “show people how it’s done.” Much as I praise Ethan’s overall gameplay, I don’t give anyone good odds to win twice if they don’t change SOMETHING up about their game (some might say Sandra’s the counterargument to this, but I’d argue that she upped the intensity of her scheming on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, creating a distinct game from her first win). If Ethan’s not willing to adapt at least a little, he’s in trouble. His other issue is, well, the attitude I just mentioned. Recent players especially are not going to take their game being belittled like this well at all, and I could see that running counter to Ethan’s natural charm. I hope Ethan’s got enough good sense to keep that attitude in check, but as it stands, I just think the elitist attitude is going to come through, and lead to an early exit for Ethan. To end on a positive note, I will say that I enjoyed his answer as to how long he’s been watching “Survivor”. “…since Richard Hatch first took advantage of CBS’ ability to pixelate a moving image.” There’s the fun and charming Ethan we know!

Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”, Red Tribe): The Queen herself! Of course, a season tackling legends such as these would be incomplete without the only two-time winner in the history of the show. Naturally, between this, her snark, and her ability to sabotage people without getting caught, I am thrilled to have Sandra back again. It’s only right and fair on a season like this. That said, I’m fairly certain this will be Sandra’s worst outing yet in terms of placement. Even on a season made up of pretty much nothing but big targets, she still stands out, with only Boston Rob and Amber (as a pair) possibly eclipsing her threat level. She’s in a similar position to Richard Hatch on “Survivor All-Stars”. Everyone wants to dethrone the queen. Sandra is wily enough that I don’t see her being the VERY first boot, but again, expect her to go pre-merge. She doesn’t work well as a shield, and no one wants to risk her getting far. Recipe for disaster on a season such as this.

Amber Mariano (“Survivor All-Stars”): Jumping ahead a bit to touch on my overall thoughts, I’m quite happy with this cast in general, and the women they chose in particular. This cast as a whole is actually my least-objectionable returnee cast since I’ve been blogging, beating out the previous record holder, “Survivor Cambodia”, with only three choices I disagree with to “Cambodia’s” four. And again, the women are overall much less objectionable than the men, in my opinion. Amber is the exception. Who in their right mind thought it was a brilliant idea to bring Amber back? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she’s a lovely person, but on screen, she’s just BORING! Basically no flavor to her personality, and just there to be generically “nice”. It would be one thing if she was coming back on her own, but I have to say it was a dick move by the producers to bring her back with Boston Rob, since it torpedoes any chance she has of winning this thing. Rob would have a target on his own, but Amber, on her own, might fly under the radar on a season like this, and do quite well. But while Rob is a threat individually, he and Amber combined are probably the biggest threat around. We might have players who played together before, but there’s a difference between being allies and being MARRIED! They’ve basically got the downside of being a couple on a “Blood vs. Water” season, when everyone else is single, and thus, one of them is going out early. Most other analysis I’ve seen says Boston Rob will be the early target, but I personally think Amber is going to be the initial target. Boston Rob may be a threat, but he’s good as a shield, good at camp life, and good at challenges, for his age. There’s reasons to keep him around. Amber? There’s no real reason to keep her, and with Boston Rob around, there’s a reason to get rid of her: Her exit weakens Boston Rob’s game. As such, Amber will be the first boot out of this season. Unless the tribe REALLY wants to get rid of the biggest threats early (and as I’ll discuss at the end, I don’t see that happening this season), Amber brings the least to the tribe, and gains a lot for the tribe by being gone. Such a shame, too, as we could have had someone a lot more intriguing this time around. Someone like…

Vecepia Towery (“Survivor Marquesas”): Perhaps a controversial choice, but while Vecepia was not the most memorable player on her season, she at least had a couple of moments, and a lot more agency in the game than Amber ever demonstrated. Vecepia, while “quiet” by today’s standards, had a subtle strategy that I’d like to see play out in a modern setting. Plus, if you were looking for “random, non-threatening winner from an early season” for this slot, I’d argue that Vecepia fits better since she’s, you know, NOT MARRIED TO ANOTHER PLAYER, THEREBY BEING A MAJOR TARGET THROUGH NO FAULT OF HER OWN! Oh, and she’s the only African-American woman to win “Survivor”. Does that count for nothing, CBS? Shouldn’t you at least have CONSIDERED her in casting?

Danni Boatwright (“Survivor Guatemala”, Blue Tribe): Stars be praised, “Survivor Guatemala” is getting its first representative on a returnee season! At last, CBS acknowledges the season for the underrated gem that it is, bringing back a stellar strategist to boot! Yeah, I’m a bit excited to see Danni back. While I admit she was by no means my favorite player on the season, I cannot deny that she played a superb game that flew below the radar even of the producers. As to how she’ll do, I’d say Danni has a decent shot at winning the whole thing, possibly even a dark horse for a victory. Danni strikes me as the type able to adapt to whatever situation she’s thrown in, and so won’t play the same game, but take the best elements from her old game, and combine them with what works now. Point being, she’s a threat, but from a relatively forgotten season. This means she won’t be used as a shield, but also means she can slip in as a number, without being a “Hey, what about that person?” sort of boot. My only concern with Danni, as I’ll talk about with other players, is how much drive she has to win this game. The one drawback to an all-winners season is that you run the risk of people basically saying “Eh, I’ve won already, I don’t need to try hard this time.” While I don’t think Danni will go this way, I could see her taking things a bit easier than before, feeling that she’s accomplished what she needed to on her first season. Still, since Danni strikes a good balance of savvy-enough to play well, but not so savvy as to be threatening, I see her making the late merge, possibly even the final episode, and would not be that surprised if she won.

Yul Kwon (“Survivor Cook Islands”, Red Tribe): Keeping up the positivity train, I’m happy to see Yul back in the game. He played one of the more dominant games of the first half of the show, but knows how to play the diplomat as well. He was one of my favorites on the season (though I must admit I like Cao Boi slightly more), and his return fills me with joy. Also surprise, since Yul was a person I thought had kind of moved on from “Survivor”. Still, he deserves to be back for his performance alone, and I think his return will be rewarded. Yes, Yul is my male pick to win the season, and if you were to put a gun to my head, and forced me to give one name only to be the winner, I would probably go with Yul. Like I said, the guy’s a diplomat, and still built enough to be considered a “threat”, and so can get in on a “meat shield” alliance. That said, I think Yul will be underestimated since people will say “Well, he only won because he had a super idol”. While technically true, I’d say people unfairly undersell Yul’s game because of this. Yes, he had that idol, but it would only have saved him once if he hadn’t used it properly. Instead, he used it to put pressure on a swing vote, and give his side the majority for the rest of the game. Yul is a big threat, but an underestimated one, and so I’d say he’s probably going to be the second two-time winner in the history of the show.

Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Micronesia”, Blue Tribe): And, there goes the positivity train. Don’t misunderstand, I’m happy Parvati’s back. The woman who helped organize the “Black Widow Brigade”, and won my favorite season of all-time, is always worth bringing back, and well worthy of a season of this caliber. The trouble is that Parvati, like Sandra, is an obvious threat who doesn’t work well as a shield for you. As such, Parvati is another pre-merge boot, though I could see her being our Edge of Extinction merge returnee, since she’s not as bad in challenges as one might think, especially if it ends up being endurance or balance-based. If so, then she probably leaves pretty much immediately after. She’s still a threat at the merge, and I don’t see these players suffering people winning their way back in gladly. Parvati’s time on the island this time around will be nasty, brutish, and short, but fun nonetheless. One minor upside for Parvati: She’s competitive enough that I don’t see her going “Eh, I already won.” at any point. Not sure it’s enough to save her, but a point in her favor nonetheless.

“Boston” Rob Mariano (“Survivor Redemption Island”, Blue Tribe): I kind of already went over my thoughts on Boston Rob already, so his bio may be kind of short. With the possible exception of Sandra, Rob is probably the biggest threat going into this season. Without Amber there, he would still be a big threat, but the threat of “couples” puts him over the top. That said, once Amber leaves, his threat level takes a big step down, and coupled with a probably “shield” alliance he can get going, I expect Boston Rob to stick around for a while. Not only can he be a good shield, but he’s going to make camp life a lot more comfortable, which is no small consideration. He probably gets voted out in the early merge, once he loses an immunity, but again, he’s not in bad shape, so I still expect him to do well in challenges, even winning his way back from the final Edge of Extinction Challenge. Like Parvati, he’ll be voted out shortly after, since no one on this season will let another “Chris Underwood” situation happen like on the titular “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, but as a result, Rob will be around until the final episode. I suppose I should also mention that he’s part of the reason I have Parvati going early, since I don’t see him forgetting “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” any time soon. As to my happiness at his return… Eh? While I don’t hate Boston Rob, I’ve never been his biggest fan, and five times playing the game (six if you count his mentorship on “Survivor Island of the Idols”, which I don’t) feels like too much for anyone. That said, outside of Rupert (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) and possibly Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”), he’s one of the most easily recognized players by the general public, and played one of the more dominant games seen by a winner, so even if I don’t like it, he has earned his right to come back.

Sophie Clarke (“Survivor South Pacific”, Red Tribe): For most of these returnees, as soon as I heard they were coming back, I had at least a base opinion on their chances. Sophie was the exception for me. Sophie is a bit of a paradox in the world of “Survivor”: the person who played the smartest game by actively choosing to do nothing. It’s not like she even went out of her way to go to the end with despised people, she was just able to articulately explain her decisions well, and earned a deserved victory for it. Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised to see her back, since her game was not the most exciting, and she seems to get snubbed by CBS as a result. I’m glad to see that her snark is recognized, and am very happy to have her back on the season as well. Like I said, though, I wasn’t certain of her chances. Playing the same game doesn’t work twice, and that goes double in the case of Sophie. One of the reasons her strategy worked last time was the fanatical loyalty that Upolu had to Coach, thus allowing her to take things slow and quiet. That will not be the case this time. Hence, hers was one of the bios I was most interested in reading this time, to see if she recognized this. Thankfully she did, so I give Sophie decent odds in this game. I don’t see her winning, but if she can adapt her strategy to better fit this more proactive group, I see her making the mid-to-late merge before people basically say “Hey, wait a minute…” and boot her off. We’ll get plenty of snark, though, which is ok by me!

Kim Spradlin-Wolfe (“Survivor One World”, Red Tribe): I’m not going to mince words: Kim is my female pick to win the whole season. Kim, like Boston Rob before her, played quite a dominant game, but unlike Boston Rob, did it on her first try. This speaks volumes to her gamesmanship skills, and I would be foolish to say that she has no shot at winning as a result. True her dominant performance does make her a threat, yet poor shield, sort of similarly to Parvati, but I think Kim is helped by the fact that “Survivor One World” is frankly not a good season. This makes her game less well-remembered, and also gives people the psychological out of “Oh, she was playing against idiots, and I’m not an idiot, so of course I’ll beat her!”, which gives her an edge. I could be very wrong here, since her performance was SO dominant as to be memorable in its own right, and it’s why, if forced to pick a winner between her and Yul, I’d bet on Yul. I’m also a bit worried since Kim says she’s playing this season “intuitively”. Not that this isn’t necessarily true, but I wonder how much Kim has really thought about this pre-season. If she hasn’t done much, and other people have, she may be in trouble. That said, Kim’s instincts have rarely proven wrong, and she’s a dominant player who does not necessarily come across as one, so I’d say she’s a probable winner for the season, and well deserving of her spot.

Denise Stapley (“Survivor Philippines”, Blue Tribe): Outside of Ethan, Denise is probably the person I’m most excited to see back. Us Psychology peeps have to stick together after all. Similarly to Sophie, she’s one I was pleasantly surprised to see back. She didn’t make much of a splash on her season compared to the Malcoms and the Lisas, but she had a wit about her that I liked, and played a simple, yet smart, game. It’s an intelligent choice I’m proud to say is on this season. That said, unlike Sophie, but like Ethan, I don’t give Denise very good odds in this game. She fares slightly better than Ethan, since I think she’s an early merge boot, but I just don’t see her winning. While Denise surviving EVERY SINGLE TRIBAL COUNCIL is an impressive feat (an another reason she deserves to be on a season such as this), the fact is that apart from a tight partnership with Malcolm, her strategy never seemed to coalesce. That is to say, she definitely had a strategy, but it was kind of a “go with the flow” strategy. That can get you through the early phases of a season like this, but she’s going to need to up her game in order to have a shot. Frankly, I didn’t see Denise doing that before this season, and in her bio she talks about not changing her game that much, which is her death knell to me. Simply due to their being bigger fish to fry, she lasts until the merge, but not much beyond that, which is a shame.

Tyson Apostol (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”, Red Tribe): Hoo boy, controversial opinion time. I know that Tyson is a lot of people’s favorite player, or at least amongst their favorite players. Read a list of “Funniest Players” and you’re almost guaranteed to see Tyson’s name on there. However, humor is subjective, and for me, Tyson just doesn’t do it. Personal, I know, but I just don’t like his style of humor. His delivery is excellent, but he seems to go in for insult comedy, which to me only really works if you insult yourself as much as you insult other people. Maybe it’s just what we’re shown, but Tyson doesn’t seem to do that all that often, and it just rubs me the wrong way. Plus, I’m not a fan of jokes about encouraging people to kill themselves. On a more objective criticism note, while Tyson definitely played a fantastic game his third time out, he’s not what I’d call a “legendary” player like you’d want on this season, and frankly, I think his story arc kind of had the perfect conclusion on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. He went from not taking the game that seriously his first time out, to trying to take it more seriously but making a dumb move, to earning his redemption with a well-deserved win. No need to sully that story with an unnecessary fourth appearance. With all that said, how do I think Tyson will do? I put him as another early merge boot. His demeanor is non-threatening, and I could also see him being kept around as a shield. However, once the merge hits, he becomes much more of a threat, and is voted out as a result. Not a bad showing, but I still think we could have done better. So, who would I have cast instead?

Chris Daugherty (“Survivor Vanuatu”): For me, this is the biggest snub of the season. Chris may not be as big a character as Tyson is, but if you’re looking to really pit the best against each other, it’s a crime to not have Chris back to test his mettle. The man was down 1-6 on a gender-divided season and STILL won! That takes some gumption, and it kills me that we don’t get to see him test himself against the best. Frankly, if he were here, he’d have beaten out Yul as my male pick to win the whole thing. Plus, I just wanted to see his prediction from the “Survivor Vanuatu” DVD come true. Is that so wrong?

Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”, Red Tribe): While I’m not as big a Tony fan as some others, and feel his game is overvalued, I cannot deny that he has earned his spot amongst the best of the best. Equal parts character and strategist (even if that strategy amounts to “throw it at the wall and see what sticks” in my opinion), Tony is definitely one of the more memorable and engaging winners of more recent seasons, and so of course he’s going to come back. He’s also going to be a major factor in Sandra going out early, since like with Boston Rob and Parvati, I don’t see him forgetting their last appearance together. That said, while I don’t see Tony doing as poorly as he did on “Survivor Game Changers”, I still have him pegged as a pre-merge boot, probably right after the swap. Some might argue he’d be kept around as a shield, but shields need to be reliable, at least in terms of strategy. A lot of words come to mind when I think of Tony. “Reliable” is not one of them. Even if he might be good to take deep in the game, he’s too volatile to risk. There’s people who go before him on his tribe, but he’s an easy boot at the swap, so that’s where I see him going.

Natalie Anderson (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”, Blue Tribe): Having played one of the best “Revenge” games in the show’s history, and helping salvage the season from the blandness that is Jon Misch, Natalie is someone who very much earned a spot back on this season. And I think her gameplay will serve her well this time around as well. The woman’s loud enough and dominant enough to work as a shield, but not so much as to be considered a major threat who needs to be targeted early. All that makes for a good combination, leading to a probably mid-merge boot. I don’t put her higher only because she’s one of the few people who says she won’t change her game that much, and while not the worst thing in her case, that can only take you so far. Her only other pitfall, I’ll discuss in the next bio.

Jeremy Collins (“Survivor Cambodia”, Blue Tribe): Ok, I have to say it: WHAT IDIOT DIVIDED THESE TRIBES? Look, putting enemies together on one tribe was going to be inevitable, especially since about half of the original “Villains” tribe is on this season, but did you need to put ALLIES together? Would it have really been that hard to put Jeremy and Natalie on separate tribes to start out with? This is the other pitfall I mentioned for Natalie, and it goes for Jeremy as well. While not the same as being married, two close allies together on the same tribe is trouble, and if their tribemates recognize this, one of them at least is going early, if not both. That said, I think Jeremy and Natalie are both smart enough to keep their connection on the down-low, and since their shared season is not that well-remembered, I’d expect Jeremy to do well as well, keeping up yet modifying his “shields” idea, and getting to the early merge with it. I may be shooting myself in the foot, underestimating Jeremy a second time, but like on “Survivor Cambodia”, I think he’s just outclassed. These people aren’t going to let him get to the end again, but he should get decently far, assuming he keeps his alliance with Natalie under wraps. For those wondering why I bring up the “shields” strategy so much in this cast assessment: Bear in mind that Jeremy is so far the only man to win an all-returnee season. The only model we have for men winning these seasons was created by him. The other dominant players would be fools not to follow, with modifications, his example. For engineering that strategy into the popular lexicon, Jeremy is definitely worthy of his spot among the best.

Michele Fitzgerald (“Survivor Kaoh Rong, Blue Tribe): Longtime readers of mine will know of my love for Aubry Bracco (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”) to the point that she’s my favorite player of all time. However, contrary to what this might imply, I am THRILLED that Michele’s back. Similar to Sophie, she played a game worthy of respect, but not respected by CBS, so I’m glad she gets another chance to show them how you actually play the game well. While I respect Aubry’s game, Michele also played a great game, and is a worthy winner to her season (in case anyone was wondering, while I do dislike the outcome of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, it is because the editors did not take the time to adequately show us Aubry’s “faults”, thus making Michele’s victory seem unearned. However, this is entirely the fault of the editing team/post-production, and not any of the players on that season. In my view, it is possible to say that both Michele and Aubry played good games, and still not be satisfied with the outcome). Normally I’d be concerned with Michele’s chances, since she’s another one who says she won’t change much. Michele, however, is the exception that proves the rule, as I think she’s the one person who can play the same game over and over and keep winning. When I think of Michele, the first word that comes to mind is “chameleon”. Michele just has a natural ability to blend into whatever situation or group she finds herself in, and argued properly (which Michele has shown she can do), this is a winning strategy. It says something that even on a season and a tribe that skews older, I give Michele good odds, despite being one of the youngest players of the season. That said, do I think that strategy will give her a win? Possibly, but I’d say she’s probably out around the mid-to-late merge area. Michele is good, but so is her competition. Close to the end, they’ll say “Hey wait a minute! What’s she still doing here?” and there’s nothing she can do about it. A shame, but I expect a good showing from Michele nonetheless.

Adam Klein (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, Blue Tribe): Oh, Adam. I like you buddy. I really do. I’m even ok with you being here, representing the “superfan” winner since Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”) can’t. But MAN, do you not have a snowball’s chance at winning this season. Adam has a few factors working against him. While not a dominant winner, his win is recent enough to still be fresh in people’s memories, and make them wary. Adam’s also on the younger end of things this season, which will make it harder for him to connect with people. And while I enjoy his superfan status, I fear it will blind him in terms of the game and/or annoy his fellow players. I can see Ethan or Boston Rob getting fed up with hero worship pretty quickly. Really, though, for me what kills Adam’s chances of winning is his determination and story. Sad though it is to say, a lot of Adam’s win had to do with the regrettable death of his mother. That was a driving factor in why he played so hard on his season, and in his closing arguments for his win. Without these factors, I don’t see him playing hard enough to stay in, and as such is an easy pre-merge boot. A shame, since I like the guy, but I call them like I see them.

Sarah Lacina (“Survivor Game Changes”, Red Tribe): AGAIN, REALLY? So, not only do we have allies Jeremy and Natalie on the same tribe, but we have Sarah and Tony on the same tribe now as well? WHY? It’s not just that it’s an edge for one side or the other, depending on how you look at it, but it could have been so easily avoided! Swap Sarah and Natalie, and bam! Tribes are still balanced, but no major allies end up on the same starting tribe! This is not rocket science, people! While I may not be happy with her tribe placement, I am happy to see Sarah back again. Her win was one of the better parts of “Survivor Game Changers”, and I’m always happy to see someone back who admits they’ve made mistakes and have learned from them. Really, the main mark against Sarah is Tony, since the pair of them do stick out as an alliance, making them a threat, but since I see Tony going early, this is less of a problem for Sarah. She probably makes the early-to-mid-merge, but I just don’t think enough time has passed for her to have a real shot at winning. I touched on this briefly with Adam, but we’re getting to the point in the series now where everyone remembers your past game, and you seem more of a threat because of it. This will be Sarah’s undoing, but she’ll stick around a good bit before then.

Ben Driebergen (“Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, Blue Tribe): Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I’m totally cool with Ben getting another shot at the game. Yes, he used a lot of idols and advantages towards the end, but unlike some, I tend to put the fault for that on his fellow players rather than Ben or production. You’re trying to get this guy out, have a majority of players over him, and you DON’T set a watch on him? You deserve what you get. Plus, even bearing in mind all the edges he had in the game (he definitely doesn’t win without final four fire making), the dude’s a nice guy and a deserving winner. Hopefully this time he can shake off the stigma of supposed “production help”. That said, I’m not sure he’s going to get the chance to do it, since Ben is another pre-merge boot, if you ask me. What Ben’s most remembered for are the “Ben Bombs” at Tribal Council, and the fact is, like Tony, this leads to an unpredictability in his game I don’t see this group tolerating. Ben might make the swap at least, but I don’t see him getting much beyond that.

Wendell Holland (“Survivor Ghost Island”, Red Tribe): Wendell played very well on his season, and I stand by the comparison to Ethan Zohn. He has the same social upside as Ethan, without the cumbersome baggage of early-season elitism. Really, Wendell’s biggest issue is just how recently he won. True, it was not a dominating performance on his own, and I could see people looking at him like JT or Stephen from “Survivor Tocantins” playing without their other half, and thereby not being a threat. However, while close, a tie vote does stick in the mind, and I don’t see Wendell being able to play as low-key as he did the last time as a result. There’s always going to be some eyes on him, which will understandably make his game harder. That said, one’s social graces should not be underestimated, and I’d say Wendell’s skills will take him to the early-to-mid-merge area, especially since Wendell seems to recognize what he’s going to need to change in his bio. At that point, though, he just sticks in the mind too much, and goes home. If it’s any consolation, I do think he deserves a spot on this season. Even leaving aside the “Winner to win in a tiebreaker” milestone, he reminded us that, even in this day and age, social game wins out over flashy moves, and that counts for a lot in my book.

Nick Wilson (“Survivor David vs. Goliath”, Red Tribe): Rounding out our cast, we have what I consider to be one of the odd choices of the season. I understand why they cast Nick. “Survivor David vs. Goliath” is the most recent season to get an overall positive reception, and is one of the few in the 30’s to get such a reception. It’s well-remembered and well-liked, so of course you want the winner back. However, while I definitely like and respect the season, it’s got little to do with Nick. He’s hardly a BAD winner, but aside from the nickname thing (which I personally found annoying thanks to my Post-Phillip-Sheppard-Stress-Disorder), does he really stand out as a winner? He played a solid game, but an unremarkable one, and on a season supposedly celebrating the best of the best, I think we could do better. While you might argue that Nick’s in a good spot due to not standing out, I still peg him as a pre-merge boot, though probably post swap. Simply put, he’s too recent and too young. Our youngest player on the season will have a hard time bonding with an overall older cast, and his recent win will mean he’s always a target. Hence, when you need someone out at the swap, there’s Nick Wilson, easy target. That said, since I don’t think he should be on this season, who would I put in his place?

Mike Holloway (“Survivor Worlds Apart”): Again, a controversial call, and for me “Survivor David vs. Goliath” is far and away a better season than “Survivor Worlds Apart”. But love or hate him, Mike Holloway is MEMORABLE, which Nick, for me, is not. Plus, Mike won in a unique way, immunitying his way to the end, which would have been good to see represented on this season, and see how it stacks up against the other styles of gameplay. Unlike the other replacements I’d have on the season, Mike was at least CONTACTED, but still, given how unusual his win was, this still feels like a snub.

And there you have it, one of the best returnee casts this show has ever had! For all my complaints, most of these choices are logical, and while CBS is doing their damnedest to make this a bad season, there’s still a joy in seeing all the winners together. Since I doubt we’ll get a straight Pagonging this season, an analysis of the tribes seems almost irrelevant, but for what it’s worth, despite not producing a winner pick I give the Blue tribe an edge early on. Both tribes are fairly evenly matched in terms of challenge ability, but I think Red has more challenge sinks. Since so many challenges are “Only as fast as your slowest member”, I see them losing the first couple (probably where Amber and Sandra go), but then finding their footing at a swap, with only a vulnerable couple (Tony, Nick) going at that point. As mentioned, I also see a “shields” strategy being prominent this season, with Jeremy and Boston Rob doing it jointly on the Blue Tribe, while Yul and Kim probably lead the charge on the Red tribe.

So, as to the twists of this season. Edge of Extinction is back once again, and as I hope I’ve made clear, I am not a fan. It either takes up too much time in the game or produces an unsatisfying winner, neither of which is a good outcome for the show. That being said, since these players know about it going in, and since I doubt they’ll award an Edge of Extinction returning player, I’m hopeful that this will be like Redemption Island on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, and be an element that is ultimately more of a time-wasting irrelevance than something that actively makes the season awful. Thus, I will not hate the season immediately for having this twist, but it is on thin ice. I also see this Edge of Extinction either having no quitters ever (due to just how determined people are this season) or having a ton of quitters (due to people saying “I’ve won before, I don’t need to starve again for a shot to get back in”), either of which would be a more intriguing dynamic than what we got the first time, though again, it leads to far too big a jury. The $2,000,000 prize money is an appropriate touch, though I do kind of wish that it was $3,000,000, just so that the winner of this season automatically won the most money off of “Survivor” no matter what. An then, there are the “Fire Tokens”. If, for some reason, you are coming to me first, Fire Tokens are a “currency” added to this season of the game. People on Edge of Extinction offer items such as food up for sale in exchange for these tokens, which they in turn can use to make the return challenge easier. This… is actually not a bad idea. True, I am annoyed that it’s putting more emphasis on Edge of Extinction, but it gives the people there something to do that’s more connected to the game, and unlike some twists, I think has interesting social implications. I don’t know how many of you remember the old show “Pirate Master” but I liked it, and one of the things I liked most was that you earned prize money as you went, but could trade it with other players in the hopes of swaying them to your side. It added a new social dynamic, and a new value to the money, and I think it could work well on “Survivor”. Even the willing of tokens if voted out I don’t mind, as they’re not as powerful as a Legacy Advantage, and do emphasize the social aspect of the game. So, in conclusion, I think the idea of Fire Tokens area an intriguing new addition to the game… FOR A NEWBIE SEASON!

Soapbox time, but this, to me, is what’s wrong with modern “Survivor”: no pacing. Contrary to some, I would not want a season free of all idols and advantages. While we complain about them, the fact is they can help shake up the game, and make Pagongings slightly less likely. Yes, the early seasons were hardly boring, but at this point, we can’t really go “back to basics” without a bit of culture shock. No, my issue with modern “Survivor” is the rate at which it GIVES OUT these new twists and advantages. While an exaggeration, it feels like every season has five new elements added to the game. I get the need to innovate. I agree with changing things up to prevent us seeing the same show over and over again. But PACE YOURSELF! This season has returning players. Returning WINNERS! A twist fans have been begging for for years! That, plus hidden immunity idols and MAYBE one extra advantage is all you need. Save your new ideas for a future season. You could build an entire season around the idea of Fire Tokens! Why waste the idea on a season we were already excited for anyway? This is especially perplexing to me since the show now seems rooted in Fiji, and NEEDS to have a theme for each season, since the locations aren’t distinct any more. Why do you throw out so many ideas at once, when ONE will do? “Survivor”, in short, is shooting its bolt too early, and I think in the long run, will pay the price for it.

Still, I’ve been wrong before. Perhaps the stellar cast will overcome the other bad news about the season. I won’t be recapping the special from the week before, since I would just be recapping the recap, so I’ll see you after the premiere of “Survivor Winners at War”!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: Updated Season Rankings

Happy New Year, everybody! We can hope for a lot of things in 2020, but one thing is certain: “Survivor” will air its 40th season, leading to a grand total of 20 years on the air so far. For good and for ill, and whatever problems the current incarnation of the show may have, this is no small feat. As such, it should be commemorated, making it the perfect excuse to bring you all my updated season rankings! I’d been wanting to do this for a while, so I’m very happy to present you with my subjective opinion on how each season compares to the others. Some of the answers may surprise you.

Before we begin, however, I should note a slight change from the last time I did these. Before, I divided seasons into overall categories within the rankings, and I intend to do so again. However, I’ve added a fourth category in there as well. Rather than explain to you these categories as they come up, I’m going to explain what each general category means overall, then just present the seasons in that category as we make our way up the list. In ascending order, the categories are as follows:

The Bad-Contrary to what the name might indicate, this name does not mean the seasons as a whole are bad overall. Even if they were, “Survivor” is often in another category compared to most scripted television, so even these seasons can be better than a lot of what comes on. These are just the seasons that don’t work for whatever reason, and that I really have no desire to watch again.

The Ugly-Our new category, this one was made in the wake of “Survivor Island of the Idols”. Sad though it is to say, we now have enough seasons with socially controversial elements to merit their own category. The quality of these seasons varies, and were it not for said controversial element, could end up anywhere on the list. I wouldn’t feel right putting them low on the list just because of these elements, but wouldn’t feel right putting them high because of the presence of these elements. As such, they get their own separate category that keeps them low, but acknowledges that the seasons themselves may or may not have redemptive elements.

The Good-This is pretty much standard “Survivor” fare that people would come to expect. Seasons that are not stand-out on their own, or have some sort of problem keeping them from being truly great, but are still enjoyable, and I wouldn’t mind the occasional rewatch.

The Great-As you would expect, these are the seasons that are fantastic. They elevate the game, are engaging and entertaining, or all of the above. They are legendary, the ones that to me scream “Survivor”, and that I never get tired of rewatching.

Well, with that business out of the way, let us waste no more time, and start talking about how the seasons stack up! There will, of course, be spoilers for these seasons, so tread with caution if you are not up to date on “Survivor” history.

THE BAD

39. “Survivor Edge of Extinction”: Yes, the bottom spot has finally been usurped by a recent season, after “Survivor Fiji” reigned king for so long, seemingly never to be dethroned. But for all my gripes about “Survivor Fiji”, I will at least say this: it served a purpose. There was a reason for us to follow the entire journey. The win of Chris Underwood means that this cannot be said for “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. Now, don’t misunderstand, Chris is by no means a bad winner in and of himself. He seems like a perfectly nice guy, and he did play extremely well following winning his way back into the game. Nor would I say that Chris’ win is illegitimate due to the “Edge of Extinction” twist. We as an audience may not like it, but that alone does not mean it was not a part of the game to be utilized. By all accounts, Chris utilized it well, building bonds with his fellow players there that ultimately earned him the jury vote. No, the problem that Chris’ win creates is that it makes the season retroactively pointless. Pretty much everything we see on screen that led to his win happened IN THE LAST FREAKING EPISODE! Oh, his entire game up until that point HAD an impact on his victory, but since “Edge of Extinction” got maybe 5 minutes out of an episode, and most of that devoted to the scavenger hunt of the day, we never got to see it. That makes “Survivor Edge of Extinction” pointless to watch. If I can get everything I need to know about the season out of the last episode, why should I bother to watch it. Even if you’re generous and say that you need to watch the first three episodes where Chris was in the game, that’s still only about 1/3 of the episodes that actually contribute to the overall story. Look, I get that the producers were in a bit of a spot with “Edge of Extinction”. They couldn’t show us too much of it, for fear that it would give away that someone returning to the game would win, but by not showing us enough, we don’t really follow what Chris did to win. Rather than feeling like a journey to the end, this season felt like it was a waste of time. I could complain about other aspects of this season that really did it no favors. Everything from how Chris had no risk in his game while on “Edge of Extinction” to the emphasis on returnees and Rick Devans at the expense of pretty much everyone else, to even the underwhelming challenges, but really, the pointlessness says it all for me. If 2/3 of your episodes don’t contribute to your story, what’s the point in me watching them?

38. “Survivor Fiji”: Just because this season has had it’s long standing title of “Worst season ever” usurped doesn’t mean my opinion of it has gone up. It’s just that the winner did have to be at risk for most of the game, and did have a journey we got to follow, so by definition it is not the worst. But MAN, does this season have issues. I’m willing to forgive a poor twist idea (such as the Outcasts from “Survivor Pearl Islands”) if it was an obvious idea that had to be tried at least once, but “Haves vs. Have-Nots” was not such a twist. It was a dumb question no one asked, but had an obvious answer: the Haves will kick the butt of the Have-Nots because people who aren’t starving and dehydrated tend to be better competitors than those who are. But that alone is not “Survivor Fiji”’s only problem. The cast, as a whole, is forgettable. With the exception of one or two names, I really can’t remember who was on this season. As you’d imagine, this is not a good thing. Yau-Man is really the only person I would say who stands out from the cast, and he was so obviously marketed as the breakout star of the cast that I just had an adverse reaction to him on principle. But the kicker for me, though, is the manner of eviction for Michelle Yi, which I would argue is the most unfair eviction in “Survivor” History. If you’re going to do a Tribal Council with no strategizing beforehand, fine. Not a huge fan of the idea, but I can understand the principle. But then, don’t immediately throw out the idea by having a line of questioning DESIGNED to make a target clear to everyone. Ugh, Michelle may not be the person I most want to see play again, but I’d argue she’s the most deserving of a second chance. The cherry on top of an already terrible sundae that is this season.

37. “Survivor Redemption Island”: Lots of fans have this as the worst season ever, and frankly, I have a hard time arguing against the idea. While I don’t think much on “Survivor” is sacrosanct, I am of the opinion that the doctrine of “Once the decision is made, the decision is final.” is, and should therefore not be violated. Any season with a theme centered around violating this doctrine is on my bad side automatically. This season is not helped by the fact that the returnees, Boston Rob and Russell, were clearly designed to dominate this season. The twist favored them, and a lot of the cast favored them as well, to the point that, even though the season was not pointless, it felt that way, since the victory of Boston Rob was presented as just that inevitable. It’s a slog to get through, there’s no denying that, but apart from “Redemption Island” itself, there’s no production aspect that makes me want to tear my hear out. Plus, we get to see Russell finally voted out, and be very ungracious about it as well, which is a minor redemptive factor no season on this list has so far.

36. “Survivor One World”: Similar to “Survivor Redemption Island”, the big flaw here is just that one person so dominates the show that there’s no mystery as to who the victor is. Kim Spradlin is my first correct winner guess, though that’s not saying much, considering she was leagues ahead of pretty much everyone else on the season in terms of gameplay. Like Boston Rob, she dominated to the point where there was no enjoyment, since the outcome was virtually a given from the beginning. The fact that it was fresh blood dominating, rather than someone on their fourth try, made it somewhat more impressive, and the lack of “Redemption Island” also helped make the season slightly better. I’ll even say that I like the idea of the “One World” twist, and think it needs another shot. Really, the drawback this time was the reuse of the “gender division” twist, since it created such animosity that the tribes didn’t work together to build one camp. I get that it made it easier to remember who was on what tribe, but that’s what buffs are for. Try it again with mixed-gender tribes, I say. You might get different results. As it stands, “Survivor One World” gave us the rise of a great strategist, but that’s about it. Plus, Colton Cumbie. There’s another mark in the “minus” column.

35. “Survivor Nicaragua”: Unlike the first three entries on this list, there was nothing about “Survivor Nicaragua” that made it have to be this bad. Granted, like “Haves vs. Have Nots” twist, this season dividing the tribes by age had an obvious outcome (the young kick the butt of the old), but was an obvious idea that had to be tried at least once. The cast was not inherently unexciting either. However, unpleasantness quickly crept into the season, with the contestant with a prosthetic leg getting picked on, and a lot of bullying in general. When you have two members of the dominant alliance quit nearly 30 days into the season, though, you’re in trouble. Whatever the behind-the-scenes reasons may be, the fact is that to the audience, it looked like they wimped out, especially when the left on the heels of the major strategists of the season getting eliminated. The event was awful, but the timing was worse. Culminating in frankly an idiot winning out in the end, this season basically just collapsed in on itself, and is really disappointing, given its potential.

34. “Survivor Samoa”: Do you like Russell Hantz? No? Well too bad, because that’s all you’re getting! Innovative though he was to the game (idol hunting without a clue wasn’t a thing before him), the fact is that it’s hard for one character alone to carry a season. Note the failure of seasons like “Survivor One World” and “Survivor Redemption Island”, who also had one character dominate above others. When that character is Russell Hantz, who is, shall we say, controversial, you’ve got an issue with your season. I’m not saying that Russell shouldn’t have been prominent, since he was a major driving force of the season. I’m saying that he shouldn’t have been so to the exclusion of the other players. Can you actually remember anything about any of the other players of the season? Apart from Russell Swan nearly dying, and Shambo being random, I’m guessing not. Some characters will rise to prominence above others, but “Survivor”, at its core, is an ensemble show. When you don’t have that, the season just fails. I will give credit, though, that this season does have something for everyone. If you like Russell, this is the season for you. If, like me, you hate him, the season is nearly impossible to get through, but that comeuppance at the end is oh so sweet.

THE UGLY

33. “Survivor Game Changers”: When I was putting seasons into this new category, I had to decide whether to rank these seasons as seasons, or based on how awful their controversial element was. To a greater or lesser degree, all these seasons are defined by their awful element, but in the end, I felt it would be a disservice not to talk about the season as a whole. And man, even without the whole Varner/Zeke incident, this season did not have legs, and I’m not even talking about the usual complaints. I for one, while not happy with the boot order, did not find it as awful as others did, and I even forgive Advantagegeddon to a certain degree. True, I wish that production put in less idols and advantages, but to be fair, people had chances to play most of them beforehand, and at least one play was based on social manipulation (Aubry had to convince Tai to play an idol for her, after all). Still, production is largely to blame for what makes this season so weak overall. The editing is garbage, making certain characters, including one of the final three, all but invisible, ON A RETURNEE SEASON! THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN ON A RETURNEE SEASON! For production’s second sin, we have the twists. In my opinion, returnee seasons should have the FEWEST twists of any other season, since returning players alone should be a draw. Maybe add ONE new game-shake-up in order to keep them on their toes, but no more than that. Instead, every two or three episodes, something new came in that the players had never dealt with before. What this led to was an unstable season. No status quo could be set up, thus giving the shake-up less impact and making the season hard to follow. And, if our favorites aren’t going to get as much screentime, why should we follow it?

32. “Survivor Worlds Apart”: I almost didn’t put this season in this category, since the controversial element is borderline at best. However, when I think back on this season, what I remember is the bullying of Shirin, and in particular the comments made by Will Sims II. While maybe not to the same scale as some of these other issues, to me, bullying is up there with some of the worst offenses, and so it goes on this list. The season as a whole? Not great. There were big characters, certainly, but most of them were more unpleasant than anything, which is not something we want to watch, as a whole. The strategy was mediocre at best, and the “Collars” twist was forced and added nothing to the show. Mike winning his way to the end via immunity was a nice novelty, but again, not the most compelling television, and unfortunately I think the network was staking a lot of the goodwill towards the season on people liking him. Mike wasn’t the worst, but he had his cocky moments, and so never really fully fit the “hero” archetype. There wasn’t really any one big problem with “Survivor Worlds Apart”, but the general unpleasantness with nothing to distract from it just drags down the season as a whole.

31. “Survivor Thailand”: “Survivor Thailand” is a bit of an oddity for me. I love the aesthetic, and I love just how thoroughly winner Brian Heidik dominated the game. It has that “classic era” feel that just makes me want to love it. But the fact is that “Grindgate” is the main thing that comes to mind when one thinks of this season, and the politics over how it was resolved were controversial at the time. In the modern day? Downright insulting. Our first straight Pagonging since “Survivor Borneo” didn’t help things either. The cast overall was pretty cool, but a lot of the more interesting players went before the jury phase, and again, the outcome was so obvious that it made the season more of a slog than a journey. A slow trek through the slime few would want to take again.

30. “Survivor All-Stars”: Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I think people are a bit hard on this season. As someone who had only seen “Survivor Borneo”, “Survivor The Australian Outback”, and “Survivor Pearl Islands” before this season aired, this season got me pumped to find out about the players I had never seen before, and it was refreshing to see my favorites back again. I think a lot of people’s problem is that they try and judge this season as if it were any other season of “Survivor”. I try to judge it as a tribute to the previous seven seasons, and it fits a lot better. The producers throw a lot of things at the players, but no so much that it overwhelms seeing them again, and a lot of the design tributes and challenge tributes work very well. That said, this season has fallen the farthest of any season since my previous rankings, and it’s all due to how uncomfortable this season can be. Apart from people taking things EXTREMELY personally, there’s the fact that the Richard/Sue incident at the immunity challenge before Richard’s elimination has REALLY not aged well, and is a highlight of how producers mishandled such situations even back then. A fun tribute, but little else going for it.

29. “Survivor Island of the Idols”: For me, this is the season hurt the most by its controversy. This season was never going to be a top-tier season, just due to how disjointed the post-merge game was, but it had a lot going for it. The cast as a whole was well-developed and likable, with a good mix of characters and strategists. The pre-merge was incredibly exciting, with nary a boring episode in the lot. Even the “Island of the Idols” twist wasn’t too bad, and occasionally even brought some much-needed levity to the episodes. I applaud the producers for not over-using the idea. That said, the producers must now be lambasted by their overall poor handling of the Kellee/Dan situation. True, they got better by the time of the reunion, but the fact remains that, when we think back on this season, we’ll think back on the controversy, which is just not fun to think about. I hope this cast comes back for better seasons, since they do deserve it. As it stands, I cannot rank the season higher than this.

THE GOOD

28. “Survivor San Juan del Sur”: “Survivor San Juan del Sur” is a weird one for me. It’s just kind of there. Not bad enough for me to dislike it, but not good enough to produce strong feelings for me. Every good point is counterbalanced by a bad point. We reused the “Blood vs. Water” twist, but also got the return of “Exile Island”. We had a decently exciting pre-merge, but then one of the worst merges ever with an anticlimactic quit. We lost our two big strategists right after the merge, and got the equivalent of wonder bread to lead us through most of the post-merge, but ended with an above-average winner. I do think it is the rise of Jon “Wonder Bread” Misch that prevents this season being higher for me, and I still feel that Jeremy’s eviction was unfair from a viewer standpoint, with not enough foreshadowing to feel earned. That said, would I call this a bad season? Not really. There’s nothing to hate about it, but I just can’t find myself able to muster any other reaction than “Eh, it was ok.” I will say I like that on a season where the women were numerically disadvantaged due to a last-minute medical pull, it was three women in the end regardless, but other than that, this season fails to stand out. In a sense, it’s damned by faint praise, but it’s not bad either.

27. “Survivor South Pacific”: On paper, this one should be around the “Survivor Redemption Island” area of this list. It has many of the same hallmarks: Returnees dominating the game, and the return of “Redemption Island”. However, what saves this season for me is the cast. Yes, there’s a lot of blind loyalty to the returnees, but these people are better at thinking for themselves, to the point where the returnees actually don’t win in the end. Plus, they’re just damn entertaining. For good and for ill, they stand out more as characters and strategists that seasons further down on the list, and that just makes for a more fun watch as a whole. Mind you, the problems I mentioned above are still problems, but this season gets a reaction from me, which is more than I can say for “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, thus putting it here on the list.

26. “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”: This is another season that’s difficult to talk about. Like “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, I can’t say much of it stands out, but unlike that season or “Survivor South Pacific”, I can’t say there’s anything I can particularly complain about this season. Yeah, the theme is a little forced, but that’s hardly something I can complain about, and while I don’t like Final Four Firemaking, I’m not going to blame this season just because something I don’t like was introduced in it. I know a lot of people complain about Ben’s win, and while I personally would have like the see Chrissy get a bit more respect, I’m of the opinion that the blame largely lies with the rest of the cast who, from what we saw, knew about Ben’s idol hunting but did nothing to stop him. And even if you don’t like him as a winner, Ben is at least a nice guy to have get the money. This season came and went, without leaving much of an impact, and was pretty much just another standard “Survivor” season.

25. “Survivor Marquesas”: If this were a list of the most historically important seasons, “Survivor Marquesas” would be near the top. I mean, the first totem-pole shake-up? How cool is that? And yes, “Survivor Marquesas” has a lot of interesting things happen in it. If only it happened to engaging characters. Oh, don’t misunderstand me, “Survivor Marquesas” has some great characters. Kathy is deservedly one of the all-time greats, and I maintain that it is a crime that Sean Rector hasn’t yet returned to the show. But the fact is, the vast majority of the interesting players were voted out pre-jury. Big things happened, but did not happen to players we much cared about. On top of that, while I haven’t been commenting on it much, visual aesthetic goes a long way for me in terms of making a season memorable. Most early seasons do well, but “Survivor Marquesas” is the exception. It’s just another South Pacific Island chain that doesn’t really distinguish itself from all the other seasons set on other South Pacific Island chains. Again, nothing bad about it per se, but it’s more of a plot-driven season than a character-driven season, and is all the less interesting for it.

24. “Survivor Exile Island”: While the theme of this season was also not the strongest, the atmosphere was. People tend to forget, since the twist became commonplace quickly, but Exile Island was really intimidating when it first came up, and no one knew what it was. That atmosphere prevails throughout the season, and serves to help it stand out in one’s memory. While the pre-merge is nothing to write home about, the post-merge gives us a fantastic story line, with Casaya’s repeated attempts to oust Terry Deitz. There was no real “villain” here, since there were legitimate reasons to root for either Terry or the Casayas. This kept the show engaging up until the end, and while not all of the cast was a big hit, it gave us some long-time memorable characters, including the aforementioned Terry, plus the likes of Cirie and Shane. It’s by no means legendary, but definitely has a lot to recommend it.

23. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Dividing the tribes by race was, shall we say, an ill-conceived idea, but one that was obvious enough that I won’t count it against this season. As a consequence of having the largest cast at the time (“Survivor Palau” also had 20 players to start with, but eliminated 3 in the first episode, which this season did not), a lot of players fell by the wayside, which is why the season is no higher. But this season, more than any other, exemplified the underdog story, with the Aitu Four managing to beat the odds and make it to the finals together. Seeing Godfather Yul’s masterful gameplay was a joy to watch, and I have little time for people saying his win was due to the then-overpowered Hidden Immunity Idol. Yes, it was a help to him, but Yul was able to use it as an effective threat, which not just anyone can do. The occasional Cao Boi, Flicka, and Ozzy help provide some moments of levity to the season, and an engaging underdog story make this season definitely one worth another watch.

22. “Survivor Ghost Island”: People tend to underrate this season, in my mind. I think the problem is that a lot of people quickly grew tired with the “Ghost Island” twist, though of better ways to do it, and were upset that these weren’t what the show went with. Fair enough, but if you stop thinking about what it could have been, and just look at what is, the twist isn’t that bad. The show was fairly conservative with adding in idols and advantages, and did keep things suitably ominous. As to the show as a whole? I won’t deny that the post-merge really brought this season down, since it was incredibly obvious that no one was going to stop the Domenick/Wendell pairing. That said, we had one of the more-exciting pre-merges, and while it was clear that either Domenick or Wendell would win, it wasn’t clear which of them would win, keeping at least some mystery up until the end. Maybe if you weren’t a big fan of either Domenick or Wendell it got grating, but as someone who really liked Wendell’s gameplay, it was a fun enough watch, even if I did wish for some better competition. The merge as a whole may not have been that great, especially since a lot of the bigger characters went out early, and some of the late game players were practically invisible, but the first tied final vote in “Survivor” history made for a solid and enjoyable finale for me. Not a perfect season by any stretch, but there are a lot more good points here than people give credit for.

21. “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”: Conversely, this is a season I think gets overrated in a lot of people’s rankings. Don’t get me wrong: the cast overall is solid, and it has decent mystery as to the winner throughout. What really does this in for me is the theme. “Survivor” as a whole was really stretching for themes at this point, and this one in particular irked me. Both generations seemed to get high and mighty about their supposed superiority, and pretty much all the cast tried to force it into at least one confessional they had, which just irritates me. Add onto that the prominence of “dude-bros” a character type I’m not particularly fond of, and some low-key bullying in places, particularly of David, and this is not a season I’m likely to be super-fond of. That said, I cannot deny that this season has good points. Characters are more hits and misses overall, there’s some good strategy to be found, and most important, there’s no obvious winner. Hints are there, but up until the Final Tribal Council, you have no idea what the outcome will be, which goes for to keeping one engaged with the season, which is a major victory that keeps the season this high.

20. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Aesthetic is the big thing that saves this season. There’s a number of good characters, some decent strategy for the early days, and a generally likable cast as a whole (Jerri Manthey at the time notwithstanding). But my God, from a modern standpoint, this season is predictable. There’s basically no shakeups, and everything just goes on in what is effectively a Pagonging from there on out. Not exactly compelling tv. So, why do I have this season this high? Frankly, it’s memorable. The cast is a big part of that, but above all else, those locales and those challenges stick in your mind. It may not be the best season of “Survivor”, but it sticks in your mind, which to me counts for a lot, and in this case elevates a lot of the more mediocre elements this season can bring.

19. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: This may be the most controversial call yet on this list. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” is a lot of people’s favorite season of all time, and there’s clearly a reason why. This season has arguably the most exciting pre-merge the show has ever had, with underdog stories, idol plays, blindsides, and crazy moves all around. But it’s time for me to codify something I’ve been hinting at with some of my other judgments so far: Not every part of a season is created equal. While I’ll obviously take a season with good elements over bad, the fact is that an exciting post-merge is much more important than an exciting pre-merge. I can get through a boring pre-merge if I know I’ve got exciting things coming down the road, but a season that peaks early makes it hard to go on afterward. And for all the greatness that is the “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” pre-merge, the post-merge, to me, is AWFUL! Oh, the merge itself is exciting, with the culmination of J.T.’s failure, but afterwards it just becomes the “Russell Hantz” show again, which after having a season full of that, I’m not ready to watch again. This is the only season where I’ve given up in the middle of a rewatch. The post-merge is just so frustrating, with Russell in such an easy position to be taken down, yet it doesn’t happen, that I couldn’t keep it up, and quit around Amanda’s boot. That said, this season is redeemed slightly by Sandra getting the last laugh, and again, that pre-merge is prime quality. Sadly for this season, for me, the quality is not where it needs to be. Plus, I felt it could have done more as a tribute season. Reused challenges and acknowledging players making it 100+ days is nice, but I could have done with them going more all-out in terms of call-backs.

18. “Survivor Caramoan”: Adding onto the blasphemy, I’ve now put a lot of people’s least-favorite season above a lot of people’s favorite season, and again my “Post-merge matters more” perspective comes into play here. I won’t deny, the pre-merge of “Survivor Caramoan” is garbage. Asshole characters like Shamar, and annoying characters like Phillip “Special Agent?” Shephard dominate, and unlike the previous “Fans vs. Favorites”, things don’t seem as evenly matched between the tribes. Plus, the less said about Brandon Hantz, the better. But that post-merge, man! A lot of the fat gets trimmed, and we get some fantastic strategizing, culminating in a great bookend to the story-arc of John Cochran. Plus, the invention of live Tribal Councils courtesy of Malcom Freberg. Yes, the reunion show was a mess, and Dawn deserved more respect, but it doesn’t take away from the engagement and excitement that is the machinations of the merged tribe. Controversial, but if you can get though the first part of the season, it really has some legs.

17. “Survivor Blood vs. Water”: This season brought us an innovative concept that worked out really well. This is probably the best season in terms of putting up first time players against returnees, in and of that the new players seemed to be of the same caliber of play as the returnees, and if Ciera had just timed things a bit better, or the rock draw had gone differently, might have won. There’s not as much mystery as on some seasons, but the outcome is not set in stone either, so the season has decent engagement overall. Some good moves, a lot of good characters, so why isn’t this season higher? Well, there’s two things about this season that stop me from putting it any higher. Apart from the rock draw, there’s not really a moment that stands out from this season, and the moves and boot order tend to blend together. I do like moments from this season, but just can’t recall them as easily as I could an iconic season. The big problem, however, is “Redemption Island”. Yes, it is better in this incarnation than in previous ones, due to how it played on the family dynamics, and how far people would go for their loved one. But the fact remains that “Redemption Island” as a twist takes up too much time, and violates the “Once the decision is made, the decision is final” doctrine. It’s the difference between eating a manure sandwich, and eating a manure sandwich with cheese. The latter is better, certainly, but still not good. I cannot, in good conscience, put a season with “Redemption Island” as a mainstay twist any higher than this.

16. “Survivor China”: “Survivor China” is a season that keeps going up every time I do these rankings. I appreciate the season a lot more on rewatch than I did the first time, seeing all the little jokes and side moments I missed. The location is good and distinctive as well, with a solid theme, though I will say the challenges took a massive dip in quality post-merge, which is a slight mark against it. There’s also a lot of dramatic moments, from Jamie playing a fake idol to James getting voted out with two idols, to Todd’s fantastic Final Tribal Council performance. Many would say this deserves to be in the “Great” category, and I did debate putting this and the next season in that category. So what keeps it out? Again, this season has two flaws that for me hold it back. My main objection is Todd. He’s a great winner, with again one of if not the best Final Tribal Council performance ever, but he was really broadcast as the winner from the get-go. Even as someone relatively new to “Survivor” at the time, I could tell Todd was being set up to win, and wasn’t surprised when he did. This lack of mystery makes the later episodes in particular hard to get through at times. My second objection is, I’ll admit, subjective, but I REALLY don’t care for Courtney. I know a lot of people find her funny, but she really doesn’t do it for me. I think my thing is that insult comedy is fine, but you have to insult yourself as much, if not more so, than other people. Apart from maybe one or two cracks about her weight, Courtney just seems to go after the flaws of others, which does not win me over. What, you think you don’t stink sometimes? I did actually debate putting this season in the “Ugly” category, since even if I don’t like Courtney, she did not deserve the treatment she got from Jean-Robert, but given that it was limited to nighttime cuddling, I think it’s borderline enough to stay our of that category, but only just.

15. “Survivor Kaoh Rong”: Yes, even the season that gave us my all-time favorite player can’t break into the “Great” category. Even so, there’s a lot to love about this season. A lot of big characters, a good guy/bad guy dynamic that keeps people invested, and one of the most even Final Threes, in my opinion, we’ve ever had in terms of how they played the game. While I don’t care for them reusing a season theme, this one at least made sense, and wasn’t as forced as others. This season works particularly well in light of the trends of modern “Survivor”. Apart from being one of the lasts seasons to not be overloaded with twists, the big moment of this season, Aubry convincing Tai not to save Scot, comes from pure social manipulation, which is both fascinating and refreshing to see in this day and age. From Debbie to Aubry to Tai, there’s a lot to love about this season. Some might say it’s low for all the medevacs, and that’s a mark against it, but that’s not the main thing keeping it out of the “Great” category. No, this season could very easily have been one of the greats, but the editors screwed the pooch on this one. Based on the season we saw, Aubry should have won over Michele. Now, before you go on with your angry comments, I am NOT saying Michele didn’t deserve her win. Michele played a fantastic game, and certainly the one the jury needed to see. She earned her win, plain and simple, and I say that as an Aubry fan over here. The problem is that the show never justified WHY Michele deserved to win above Aubry. Post game interviews tell us that Aubry made social gaffes, and Michele was tight with everyone, but the show didn’t highlight that. It instead highlighted Aubry’s triumphs, and minimized her few mistakes that she did make. I get that Michele’s game may not have been exciting enough to show on its own, but show us Aubry’s spots. Show us her flaws in greater detail. Leave out the “There’s as much brawn in her as there is in me.” type confessionals, and put in ones where people talk about how they don’t like Aubry. The jury made the right decision for them, and to the internet community, I point out that it is possible for BOTH Aubry and Michele to have played good game, and saying one played well does not mean the other played poorly. But the editors didn’t let us see that, and so the season, while still good overall, has an unsatisfying end.

THE GREAT

14. “Survivor Gabon”: If it weren’t for the new category, and “Survivor All-Stars” needing to go in it, this season would probably have fallen the furthest in my season rankings since the start. While I have a soft spot for this season, I can see the flaws on rewatch. This season is an INCREDIBLY slow start, with people making stupid decisions and not much going on. Most of the big characters are kept around for the merge, though, and it’s around that time that things start to pick up. Really, I’d say the double-Tribal Council is where things get good. Ace made a decent early villain, but he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. His elimination, however, gave rise to one of my favorite storylines in the show’s history: The Rise and Fall of Ken Hoang. True, “Survivor Gabon” may not have had the greatest strategy in the history of forever, but I hate it when people say the show had no strategy whatsoever this season. Look at Ken. Look at his manipulations. He went from a position of no power to RUNNING the game, and even managed to be likable on a season where no one liked anyone else. Yes, he got cocky and did himself in, which made the finale as a whole lackluster, but he admits this flaw and has learned from it. I still say it’s a crime he’s never been brought back. I can see people being turned off by how hateful the season can seem, but personally, I saw the arguments as more coming from people who were misanthropic rather than hateful, which makes a big difference to me. Add into that a distinctive location, and you’ve got a season that needs more love. Don’t get me wrong, the front half is a slog, but that back half is well worth it.

13. “Survivor Philippines”: This and next season fall into a small subcategory I call “Technical Perfection”, wherein a season has no flaws, it just doesn’t excite me. “Survivor Philippines” does nothing wrong. Abi-Maria sticks around a bit longer than I’d like, but it crosses the line into funny at some point. Penner isn’t as funny as his previous appearances, but also plays probably his best strategic game. Russell Swan and the Matsing tribe have a great early story-arc, though this means the season kind of peaks too early. On the whole, I really have nothing bad to say about the season, and it does nothing wrong, but it doesn’t stick in my mind. Like “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, it just kind of blends together for me. Technical perfection means I have to put it in this category, but lack of memorability means I put it no higher than this.

12. “Survivor David vs. Goliath”: I get why people generally like this one better than I do. It was going to be a good season based on cast alone, with a lot of memorable new characters that were fun to watch as well as decent strategy, but when it’s sandwiched between “Survivor Ghost Island” and “Survivor Edge of Extinction” two seasons that have been generally poorly received, makes it look even better. Perhaps because I liked “Survivor Ghost Island” more than others, I’ve never been as bullish on this season, though the positives are still quite positive. People like Gabby, Christian, and Lyrsa are some all-time great characters I look forward to seeing back, and even some of the quieter players like Carl have their good moments. Similar to “Survivor Philippines”, though, a lot of the season and its boot order blend together for me. Plus, I just don’t like the theme. It feels forced, and gives an edge to the “Davids” in the end, since they become the underdogs. Still, apart from a forced theme this season does what it needs to do, and does it well. While I say it all blends together, there are one or two stand out moments, such as the idol nullifier play, that spring to mind when I think of this season, so I put it higher than “Survivor Philippines”, but that’s the only reason.

11. “Survivor Palau”: “Survivor Palau” is an oddity on this list, in that I put it high up despite rewatch value being very low. Seeing Ulong get decimated the first time is fun, but seeing it afterward is not. It just becomes a slog, and then seeing Tom dominate is a similar deal. Once again, though, theme saves it. Such dominance feels appropriate for a season themed around WWII, and this season goes all-out in the aesthetic. The challenges are fantastic, some of the choices made (particularly in the first immunity challenge) fascinating, and this season has a lot of oddball moments that stand out. Those are probably this season’s two greatest strengths: It’s fun to watch, and it stands out. That alone earns it a spot in this category.

10. “Survivor Borneo”: Ranking this season is always tough. It stands out and is memorable and enjoyable, but for very different reasons than most other seasons. Only Richard Hatch was really playing what we’d call a recognizable game today, and it can get old, particularly in the pre-merge, with how naive these people seem compared to the game we know today. It shows how we got here, but doesn’t do as much on its own to recommend it. That said, the impactful moments of the season, like Jenna not getting a video from home, and especially Gretchen’s boot, still have a major impact even in this jaded day and age. I have no nostalgia blinders for this season, having gotten into the show later, so I’m not as high on this season as some, but as a microcosm of early “Survivor”, as well as a fascinating case study, this season definitely deserves a spot amongst the greats.

9. “Survivor The Amazon”: This was another season that nearly ended up in the “Ugly” category. Man, those sexual politics have not aged well. Nothing close to a sex-crime or anything, but the men do not come off looking good here, and really, the season only avoids my wrath for this because the women get the better of the men in the end. Leaving that aside, “Survivor The Amazon” is a fun season, plain and simple. Rob Cesternino is, of course, our main source of comedy, and his “Casey Kasem” voting confessional is matched in humor only by Wendell’s anti-Chris Noble rant on “Survivor Ghost Island”. That said, most others on this season are no slouch either, providing some good moments of levity that help to make this season both fun and distinct. There’s even some good character arcs, with Matthew’s evolution in particular being a fun watch for me. There’s a lot of good strategists here as well, and I’m still amazed that Deena in particular has never come back. With all that said, this season does land this low because a lot of the gender humor is uncomfortable in this day and age, and the guys really do look like jackasses, but if you can look past that, this season is one of the funniest the show has ever had, and all the funnier for it.

8. “Survivor Tocantins”: This season brings us another fun underdog story, and one of the most lopsided victories ever. Seeing the Jalapao three work the cracks in the old Timbira was just a joy to go through, and seeing just how dominant J.T. would be, to the point of people STILL IN THE GAME saying they would rather he win than themselves, was a fascinating journey. Even J.T.’s subsequent abysmal performances can’t diminish his accomplishments here. Many people point to the humor of this season, but it doesn’t do it for me. Coach I found more annoying than funny, and similar to Courtney, Tyson just doesn’t do it for me, though in this case it’s more the over-reliance on sex humor than an unwillingness to make fun of himself that I dislike about Tyson. That said, a distinct location and a fun and engaging story help elevate this season, and with no controversial elements, it’s fair for the season to land this high.

7. “Survivor Vanuatu”: This season was unappreciated in its time, and I can definitely understand why. While there were subtle hints as to where it was going, it was tough to follow on first watch, and didn’t stand out as much as previous seasons. Opposite to “Survivor Palau”, however, this season THRIVES on being rewatched. Seeing all the little moments that led to Chris’ surprise victory over the women’s alliance makes this season a fascinating detective story, and the sheer ludicrousness of the guy who lost the first challenge winning the game is the stuff of legends. We also got some great new female characters and strategists, with Ami in particular a standout. Maybe the location was a bit generic, but the volcanos were a nice touch, and they added a few elements you wouldn’t find on other seasons. Between the spiritual stone and the pig they got at tree mail, they did their level best to make this not just another island season. With probably the best detective story the show’s ever had, this season deserves a rewatch, if you haven’t in a while.

6. “Survivor Africa”: If you’re looking for a distinctive season, this one is for you. You see even one screenshot, you know this is “Survivor Africa”. I hear a lot of people say this wasn’t as good as the first two seasons before it, but I wholeheartedly disagree. It kept the heart of the early seasons, with people moralizing a bit more, while still having some good strategic shakeups. We had our first thrown challenge (in with some of the best challenges the show has ever seen), our first tribe swap, and our first winner we could like. Seriously, if you’re not at least a casual fan of Ethan, you have no soul. Lex’s paranoia and gut make for a fun storyline, and getting to see the countryside on rewards like the goat reward or the AIDS supplies reward make this a season unlike any other. Good combats evil, good triumphs. What don’t people like about this season again.

5. “Survivor Guatemala”: I’ll admit, this is the season where my nostalgia blinders come on. This is the season that got me into “Survivor”, and I think it still holds up. Great location, great underdog story with Danni (so glad to see her back on the upcoming season), memorable characters in the likes of Judd, Gary, and Rafe, and even a fun bit of lore with the “car curse” getting acknowledged by the show in-universe. Yes, it’s not my number one season, since we do lose a lot of good people in the pre-merge, but what we’ve got is still solid throughout. People say this season ruined Stephenie, but I think it was more “Survivor Palau” that gave us an unrealistically heroic depiction of her. Yes, she was the hero that survived all of Ulong, but it’s not as though she didn’t TRY and be devious with her tribe. They were just so incompetent that she couldn’t be. For instance, when it was down to her, Bobby Jon, and Ibrehim, when Bobby Jon waffled on whether he would keep her or not, she tried to blindside him with Ibrehim. The only reason we have the Stephenie/Bobby Jon pairing people love so much these days is because Ibrehim was non-committal as well. Stephenie has always been somewhat villainous, she just didn’t get a chance to show it. Disappointing perhaps for the people who put her up on a pedestal, but in my opinion, a good story for a good season. It needs more love.

4. “Survivor Cagayan”: When watching a season of “Survivor”, you generally want the show to have both good characters and good strategists. This season brought both, often in the same people, and that’s what makes it so great. For good or for ill, everyone came to play, and whether they played well or not, they played hard. This made for an impactful week-to-week story, and with players being willing to shake things up, not the most predictable one either. Most people sing the praises of this season, so there’s little need for me to do so as well. Only the presence of the super idol, and Tony’s game getting more credit than it deserves (I’m not convinced there was a method to his madness; I think his strategy was more “throw it at the wall and see what sticks”, which just happened to work this time) keep it from being higher, but it remains a top-tier season nonetheless.

3. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: Another classic. If you want a season with a memorable theme, look no further than this. “Survivor Pearl Islands” kept up the aesthetic with the set dressings and challenges, but actually incorporated the theme into the game as well. There was a treasure hunt, the looting of a town, and the robbing of another tribe’s camp. Mind you, there was also the Outcast twist. I don’t mind it as much as some, as it was an obvious idea that had to be tried, but it does bring down the season slightly. But that cast! With the possible exceptions of “Survivor Borneo” and “Survivor The Australian Outback”, this may be the most iconic cast we’ve ever had. Sandra. Jonny Fairplay. Savage. Freaking RUPERT! All from here, and all bring big personality to make for both a fun and memorable season.

2. “Survivor Cambodia”: For a season this late in the timeline to make it nearly to the number one spot, it has to be good. In a smart move by producers, we effectively picked the cast this season, meaning we had a buy-in that other returnee seasons may not have had. But that wouldn’t have been enough if the cast gave us nothing, but they did. The name of the game here is strategy. I’ll admit, it’s not as character-driven as other seasons, but it makes up for that by giving us some of the most in-depth strategy talk the show ever had. While “voting blocks” could get old for how much they used the term, the fact remains that alliances shifted week to week helped keep the show exciting and engaging through to the end. Throw in great returning challenges and a more distinctive new location than before, and you’ve got the makings of a legendary season. So, why not number one? Well, good as the season is, I would say the pre-merge stories are more engaging than the post-merge stories, largely due to the pre-merge having smaller tribes, making things easier to follow. The post-merge is still good, but it’s an overall downward trajectory, as opposed to our number one season, which had an upward trajectory.

1. “Survivor Micronesia”: What can I say, this season is legendary? People like to mock how lopsided the show was in favor of the returnees, but I’d say a big strength of this season was how good the fans could be. True, there were some idiots, but a lot of the fans actually went toe-to-toe with the favorites, and could have won if not for luck. Amanda doesn’t find the idol at Final 5, and Natalie or Alexis probably wins the season. But, of course, the big draw of this season is the shocking moments. I’m not going to say the Black Widow Brigade was the best alliance ever, but damn if they didn’t pull off some improbable moves. Erik giving up immunity alone probably lands it a spot on this list, but 16 seasons on a show that formerly had 16 castaways, with a trivia competition based on the show near the end, with returning players, some of the most iconic of the past 9 seasons? This is the stuff of legend, culminating in the first ever unisex final episode. Every rewatch just gets better and better, and that, to me, makes it a season deserving of a number one spot.

Well, there you have it. As I say, this is a subjective list, so feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Otherwise, I’ll see you next month for “Survivor Winners at War”!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.