Idol Speculation: “Survivor MGX” Episode 9: Will Can’t Have Alcohol

Guys, I have an announcement: Will can’t drink alcohol. No beer, no wine, no spirits, no mixed drinks. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Poor sap has to make do with only soda. And what a sad existence that must be. But let’s focus on the main point here, and that is that Will Wahl is not legally allowed to drink. The man must be abstinent while his tribemates are in the throws of Dionysian bliss. He cannot have a single drop of that sainted liquid that makes one drunk. There will be no imbibing of intoxicating beverages by the young man with the uncannily deep voice. And, just in case I haven’t made it clear, Will cannot drink alcohol.

Ah, what a traditional way to start a blog, talking about the main focus of the episode. Now we move onto the strategy talk, as the usual fallout from Tribal Council ensues, along with the time-honored tradition of calling the people who flipped on you “idiots”. Our culprit tonight is perennial idiot Jay, who brings up the point that Zeke, Adam, and Hannah are now on the bottom of the Gen-X alliance. I’m willing to admit that this point is fair, but on the whole, I can’t condone Jay’s assessment. After all, where would the threesome be if they had stuck with him True, they’d be the bottom of a seven-person alliance rather than a nine-person alliance, which is seemingly better, but I’d argue (and I’d say the later parts of the episode back me up) that the nine-person alliance is more fractious than seven-person alliance in this case, and, as Hannah will bring up later, that threesome have more power in the latter alliance, despite the increased number. Here’s my problem: I can, to a certain degree, excuse people saying “Well, why ISN’T my alliance the obviously right move to make?” before the votes are cast. But hindsight is 20/20, and for Jay to not even RECOGNIZE why his alliance might not be attractive to Hannah, Zeke, and Adam is preposterous.

Chris also takes the time to brag about how his position is improving. Which is true. Good assessment, Chris. Yeah, really not much more to say about it than that.

But enough about that, this is shiny, happy “Survivor” time, as Adam for once manages to not completely screw up consoling someone after the vote, talking with Taylor about why it was the correct move for him to go against Taylor. Namely, Adam points out that Taylor and Jay were gunning for HIM, a point that even Taylor can’t deny, so we quickly move on to talking about the dirt that Taylor and Adam have on each other. Adam knows about Taylor’s food stash, Taylor knows about Adam’s reward steal. This helps to justify Adam’s revealing of information last episode, a move panned by everyone but myself, it seems. Basically, Adam and Taylor are in a “Nuclear Option” situation. Both have information that could, if not destroy each other, then at least cripple each other’s games pretty hard. That is a way to build trust, albeit tenuous trust. And, given how the Cold War went in general, you could argue that the analogy makes for bad strategy, but I still see the point in it. Granted, Adam really needs to give up on this whole “Make Taylor and Jay trust me.” thing, since that ship has clearly sailed, but here, at least, he has one good attempt at it. I’ll give him credit, though: I really like his “If you wanted me to stick with you, why’d you try and vote me out?” confessional.

Taylor consoles himself with food, and his attitude is really starting to annoy me. What Taylor is doing here is effectively sabotage, not really any different from what Scot and Jason did on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but at least they were TRYING to piss people off. Taylor really doesn’t seem to understand why it’s wrong, though he does at least admit that he’s doing it more to give himself an advantage than anything. I just keep thinking back to the likes of Julie McGee
from “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. She similarly stole food, and the castigation of her in response was a factor in her eventual quit. Taylor? True, he does get voted out for his trouble, but the man ultimately gets off pretty lightly for what I’d consider a serious offense. Stealing is one thing, but stealing from literal starving people is another thing entirely.

In keeping with our new upbeat attitude, we get our second instance of HANNAH attempting to console someone on the losing side of the vote. Having learned from her mistakes with Adam and Zeke, Hannah actually does a good job of talking to Jay about her decision. She’s friendly, but not condescending, and explains how her feeling of greater power by working with the old Takali led to her flip, and Jay, who really has very little choice at this point, seems to still be on good terms with her. Despite what episode 3 of this season might have indicated, Adam really needs to take lessons from her.

We head on to our reward challenge, and, in what may be an “Idol Speculation” first, I really feel no need to describe it step by step. It’s your average generic obstacle course, and ultimately in this case, the individual steps don’t matter. It’s boring, it’s a team challenge post merge, it’s for burgers and drinks at a spa, and Will still isn’t allowed to drink alcohol. That’s about all that really matters.

Oh, and Probst is making a big deal about the fact that teams will be decided by a schoolyard pick. This is often the case on “Survivor”, but rarely do they actually bother to show it. The only times they DO show it are when it has a major impact on the episode, like when the contestants of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” called out how it would fall down alliance lines, and skipped it entirely. Naturally, with something so impactful on the episode, we’re going to watch the pick go one by one, and see where it all goes wrong for one team.

Or, you know, we could cut right to the fact that the purple team is pretty much all old Takali, while the orange team is all old Vanua, with Taylor and Jessica being the only respective switches, that’s cool too. But surely if they brought up the schoolyard pick, then it must have major repercussions throughout the episode. I mean, the orange team picked by Hannah ultimately loses, so that must do something. Look, she’s even getting a confessional about it! It must lead to something this episode! SPOILER ALERT: This is the last time we hear about the schoolyard pick having any impact.

We get our requisite enjoyment of the reward, with Taylor bragging about his eating habits as a garnish. Then we return to a classic “Survivor” staple: the drunken idiot. Newer fans of the show may not be aware of this, as the tradition has dropped off in recent years, but “Survivor” used to have a mean tendency to give people just enough alcohol and just barely not enough food to have someone make a complete drunken ass of themselves. Think of Tom Westman’s performance during the merge on “Survivor Palau”, or basically any time “Big Tom” Buchanan (“Survivor Africa”) was allowed anywhere near alcohol. Unlike Will. Who can’t have it. Having no one named “Tom” on this season to take the fall, we settle for Bret, who seems to determined to prove all stereotypes about Bostonians true. He even sort of KNOWS he’s being set up, admitting beforehand that he should probably limit himself, though Chris informs us that this went out the window very quickly. Granted, Bret gets off easy, with the extent of his drunken exploits being a bombastic cannonball into the pool.

All is not calm, though, as Sunday comes out of the woodwork to deliver some intrigue. I said back in episode 3 (there’s that episode again) that I thought there was more to Sunday than the show was giving us, given a good remark of hers at Tribal Council. Then she quieted down until recently, and I wrote it off as my reading too much into it. But evidently I was correct the first time, as there’s some gamer left in Sunday yet. A fairly bad gamer, to be sure, but a gamer nonetheless, and that always leads to some fun with regards to strategy. Basically, the wounds from the vote where Jessica was saved haven’t fully healed, and while the pair are civil to each other, Sunday admits that Jessica probably needs to go sooner rather than later, especially as the old Takali a a fractured bunch. I would complain about this coming right out of nowhere, but in this case, I’ll give it a pass. This conflict would only really have arose starting in episode 5, at which point we had the switch, so there was really no need for Sunday to comment on her suspicion of Jessica until now. What I WILL complain about is the poor strategy behind it. I get not trusting Jessica, I really do, but holding the old Takali together is really in Sunday’s best interests in particular. At the moment, the old Vanua are chomping at the bit to get rid of each other. Like or dislike each other, if the old Takali can stick together for the next few votes, they’ve got this in the bag. Keep that majority, and ride it to the end. Granted, that’s not so good if you’re on the bottom of the old Takali, but if anything, Sunday is is the best position of the old Takali. She’s well liked, and so has a chance of winning no matter WHO she’s up against, and while she seems to be firmly in the Chris and Bret camp at this point, she could still potentially swing over to the Jessica, David, and Ken camp. Or, she could let all but one old Vanua go, and then use that old Vanua member along with Chris and Bret to gain a majority and a guaranteed finals spot, where again, she would have a decent chance at winning. Certainly there’s something to be said for making a big move and bolstering your resume, but as this season has demonstrated, one must wait for the proper timing. For Sunday, this is throwing out the baby with the bathwater, to use an old cliche.

But I want to like Sunday! QUICK! Cut to even worse gameplay! Oh, good, Adam is trying to ease tensions with his enemies again, that should be worse. Sure enough, Adam proves to us yet again that he can’t have more than one good soothing moment per episode, and ends up talking with Jay out in the water. Still bitter about the Mari vote, Adam gives him a “How’s it feel to be on the bottom?” talk, and while I do think Jay exaggerates QUITE how much of an asshole Adam is being here, I can’t deny that it’s not really Adam’s smartest play, and he does come off as kind of an ass in this case. Admittedly, Adam is at least not playing both sides of the fence, or at least is being more subtle about it, but the damage on him just keeps getting worse. Again, while making enemies of eventual jurors is a categorically bad thing, in the case of people like Jay and Taylor, it was inevitable due to the Figgy vote. But when Jay goes to complain about Adam to the group, thereby taking the talk away from Will’s sobriety for a minute, Hannah and Zeke join in on what an asshole Adam can be. When your CLOSEST ALLIES don’t like you, your chances of winning are shot. I still personally like Adam. As someone who’s got a naturally loud voice, I can relate to the whole “shouting in confessionals” thing, and I like how focussed he is on pure strategy. Mind you, the latter point is part of his downfall, but I’ll be talking about that when we get to Tribal Council. My point is that I’ve accepted the fact that Adam will not be winning this season. He may make it to the end, but I don’t see him really acquiring the votes necessary to win it all. Enjoyable to watch, but not good for winning.

After a really pretty sunrise, we see that Sunday’s quest is not done, as she goes to Jay about the possibility of using him, Will, and Taylor to blindside Jessica, which Jay agrees to, as he doesn’t have many options at this point. What is interesting to note here, though, is that this is further proof that Hannah, Zeke, and Adam going with the old Takali was the right move. Unlike Jay, Taylor, Will, and Michelle, who were a tight, nigh-unbreakable foursome, the old Takali, while in greater numbers, have difficulty working together. Push comes to shove, they’ll join for a vote, but those old divisions are there, and working in the favor of Adam, Zeke, and Hannah. It’d be one thing if the old Takali was a solid six who COULD be broken up by a good strategist, but this isn’t the doing of Adam, Hannah, or Zeke. The old Takali are doing this to themselves, with little to no outside prompting. Again, more evidence that Jay really is wrong in saying that the move last episode was a bad one.

Our immunity challenge is only slightly more remarkable than the reward challenge. A returning challenge from “Survivor South Pacific”, our tribe members hold a large wooden bow with a ball on top of it, while standing on a balance beam. At specific intervals, contestants will move down to a narrower section of the beam. If they fall off or the ball drops, they’re out. Last one standing wins. Pretty standard difficult endurance challenge. While it is a reused one, it isn’t overdone, and as it’s been five years since we’ve seen it, I’m willing to give it a pass in that regard. What DOES bug me are the bows. Could we put in at least a LITTLE work to make them look authentic. I know we’re kind of in the era of “Plastic ‘Survivor’”, but a little more effort would be appreciated.

Speaking of things from over five years ago, we bring back a twist no seen since “Survivor Redemption Island”, presumably put on hold to distance the show as much as possible from that God-awful season. If people want to, they can opt out of the challenge and eat grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, potato chips, and imbibe some soda and beer. Except for Will. He can’t have the beer. Just thought I’d clarify it.

Once again skipping over the important decision-making part of the challenge, we cut right to finding out that only Zeke and alcohol-free Will opted out, which makes sense, especially when you consider that you’ve got surfer dudes in the challenge, as our little puritan Will points out. I’m actually surprised MORE people didn’t drop out, though I applaud them their dedication to the game.

Normally I’d just skip right to the outcome of the challenge, but I do want to draw attention to one early drop out. Bret is out pretty early on, which is no surprise for a top-heavy guy, but the look of betrayal he gives the food and drink is just priceless. You know he just wanted to drive in the “Drunken Bostonian” stereotype a LITTLE BIT MORE, and instead has to settle for Will getting drunk. Oh, wait, I forgot, Will can’t drink alcohol. I guess Probst mentioning it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING CHALLENGE wasn’t enough of a reminder.

Ken ends up winning the challenge, which surprised me somewhat. This is a challenge that doesn’t favor the top-heavy, and as a man’s center of gravity is higher than a woman’s, I’d have expected one of the ladies to take it. Probably Jessica, given her performance in the previous immunity challenge. Granted, Ken is not the most top-heavy looking guy, but the center of gravity thing is still a problem. Frankly, all this means is that the immunity necklace will not impact the ultimate vote.

With talk of potential immunity idols JUST NOW coming up in our majority alliance, they agree to split the vote between Jay and Taylor. Frankly, it’s the smart move. There’s always a chance at a fracture, and splitting the vote makes it easier for the alliance to fracture, but even if two people defected to Jay’s side, making the vote 5-3-4, they’d still be down in numbers come next episode. Ultimately, the idol is a greater threat. Sunday is the only one not on board, due to wanting to use Jay, but she pulls on her big girl panties with Bret and agrees to go along with the smart move. At this point, really the only indicator that either Taylor or Jay ISN’T going home is the fact that David stated that either Taylor or Jay was going home. Usually, that means you’re safe.

As Sunday’s plan never really got off the ground, Jay and Taylor go in for one last smorgasbord before Tribal Council, where Taylor brings up that Nuclear Option he’d been talking about all episode. With Adam’s name being about as low as “General Grievous” with the pair, they agree to bring it up at Tribal Council, as a last-ditch effort to save themselves. Why they don’t bring it up BEFORE Tribal Council, when they’d be more likely to get the plan changed, is a mystery to me. I know we’ve seen plans change last minute at Tribal Council more and more over the recent seasons, but the tried and true method of getting one’s plan in place beforehand is still better.

I could take this time to talk about the good strategic double-talk, including subtle bringing up of the old Takali fractures by the old Takali, but I think our nuclear war takes precedence. While I’ve still little respect for Taylor, if you ARE going to invoke a Nuclear Option at Tribal Council, this is the way to do it. Rather than just spill the beans on Adam and hope for the best, Taylor first confesses his own food-stealing sins to the group (lumping Adam in with him in the process) so that Adam has no ammunition against him, and then tells the group about Adam’s reward steal. Taylor here is banking on the recency effect. True, he did something bad, and I’d argue something objectively worse, but by bringing up Adam second, the focus is more likely to be on Adam rather than him. Taylor also has the advantage of playing offense here. Taylor knows what he’s going to say, while Adam has to react, making his argument much less coherent. Adam, in contrast, comes off as desperately trying to salvage his reputation, admitting to most everything, but denying that he actually ate any of the food Taylor left. To make matters worse, Adam must once again do all this at full volume, making his desperation all the more apparent. All the while, Hannah tries to hide in her shirt from the awkwardness. The particular moment that highlights what makes this discussion so fascinating is Adam’s making the fair point that stealing a reward, particular the loved ones visit (which has been the crux of Taylor’s argument) ultimately doesn’t matter much in the game. Taylor points out that it affects people’s emotions, which are part of the game. Basically, Taylor is making an emotional argument. Objectively, what he did was worse, actively sabotaging a vital part of camp life, while Adam is potentially taking away something nice from something else. Adam, meanwhile, if focussing on the logic of it. In the end, his advantage isn’t much of an advantage, unless used properly, whereas Taylor has already committed an egregious offense. It’s two opposing styles of playing the game, and it’s quite dramatic to see them come to a head.

It also does a good job at highlighting what Adam’s problem in the game is. Adam is a strategist. A pretty good one too, apart from having all the subtlety of a foghorn, by which I of course mean no subtlety at all. But he’s a PURE strategist. And while “Survivor” is a strategy game, Adam seems to completely ignore the emotional aspect of the game, which is his downfall. At the end, if you can’t get people, even your own allies, to like you, you’ve got no chance at winning the game. You need both strategic intelligence and emotional intelligence. Adam has one, but not the other. Fun to watch, but ultimately a losing strategy.

Of course, the same argument could be made in reverse about Taylor, that he plays on all emotion, no logic. And that would be fair. But Taylor’s gone now, so I feel like that point is obvious.

So, what wins out in a battle of emotion vs. logic? Well, as should happen in a game of strategy, logic wins out. Taylor is sent home, which I think is the right move. True, Adam has been pretty well branded as untrustworthy by most everyone left, but he’s also been branded an asshole, making him less likely to get a counter alliance together. Therefore, he can be picked off at any time, or taken to the end as a goat. Conversely, Taylor is a likable challenge threat who could easily slip past the radar and make it to the end, even winning. Plus, I would like to remind you, the man actively sabotaged the tribe. He’s EARNED his exit. And no, I’m not sorry to see him go. Everything out of his mouth was just completely inane, and his “holier than thou” attitude that made him the stereotypical “Millennial” this season wanted just became SO ANNOYING! One could argue that he was good as someone to nag Adam, but given Adam’s current standing in the game, I’d argue that we have plenty of that. Like I said, ultimately the smart move. Our old Takali plus Adam, Zeke, and Hannah alliance has a good thing going. It may need to be shaken up, but it’s too soon.

This was a different episode for this season, and I mean that in a good way. For the first time, by NOT focussing on the “Millennials vs. Gen-X” thing, we got some intriguing debates with the emotion vs. logic thing, and we got to see both sides fracturing, with some good setups for episodes to come. Add onto that an explosive Tribal Council, and the running gag about Will not being allowed to engage in underage drinking, and you’ve got yourself one hell of an episode. So much so that it deserves a…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

The merge episode is one of the more distinctive parts of the show, and a list of the best and the worst definitely bears talking about. We’re an episode late, I know, but somehow it feels like the right time to get to it. Really not much more to explain than that, so, too the list!

TOP 5

5. “Survivor MGX”: A bit of an obvious choice, given how I praised the last episode, but I think it does stand out as one of the greats over time. Granted, my personal “short list” I drew up wasn’t so short, but this merge just has a lot more little intriguing connections that bolstered it up above some of the other choices. Really, the main thing that hurts it is that this is season 33, and so we’ve seen a lot of these plotlines done before, but this season did it well enough that it earned at least a number 5 spot.

4. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Two things set this merge above others: strategy and misdirection. When people think of the good parts of this season, they mainly think of Ozzy’s challenge dominance and Yul’s strategy. Both are prominently displayed in this merge, particularly Yul’s strategy. This is where we get him persuading Jonathan Penner to flip back over, and it’s just as good as you remember it. And while it was clear from the beginning that the Aitu Four would make a comeback here, the episode actually did a really good job of keeping us in the dark as to who would flip. We got Yul working Penner, but we also got Ozzy and Nate (yes, I’m sure there was a “Nate” on the season) bonding, and a potential flip there. Go back and give it a watch. I guarantee it’s a better episode than you remember.

3. “Survivor South Pacific”: Again, while a bit obvious, we had a really good resolution to a storyline here. Cochran overcoming the bullying of the old Savaii and changing up the entire game was really well built up here, and thanks to the narration of Coach, was really well put-together. Plus, we basically got our setup for the rest of the game, which made things exceptionally interesting.

2. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Merges with food temptation are always fun, plus we had Jeff Varner get voted out over peanut butter, which is hilarious (except to him, of course). But it’s that dramatic ending that really makes the difference. One vote, from the first episode mind you, deciding the outcome of the course of the game is quite a big finish. Though, it’s not quite as big as our number one spot.

1. “Survivor Borneo”: This is one episode where I can’t disagree with the early season purists. Holding the record for most individuals to receive votes at a single Tribal Council, this could be argued as the true birth of “Survivor” strategy, given that a popular but threatening survivalist ultimately got the axe. Even as someone who was used to threats going at the merge, this still shocked even me. Seeing Gretchen go was just that powerful. And the mystery of strategy vs. emotions, much like with this current episode, made for compelling storytelling that has yet to be beaten.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor All-Stars”: Much like the season as a whole, this merge is a mix of entertaining and painful. We got heated personal discussions, and ultimately the less-likable characters (and Rupert) winning out. What gives it an honorable mention? That look on Lex’s face when Kathy keeps her immunity. That look alone deserves mention. I’m surprised there isn’t a meme of it.

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Tocantins”: Rarely is there a “bad” merge on “Survivor”, and even calling the Tocantins merge “bad” is a bit of disrespect. “Underwhelming” might be a better word. We got some obvious strategizing, and good setup for later on, but no real fireworks to stand out. Plus, due to Joe’s medical evacuation, we were robbed of even having a dramatic vote to tend the episode. That alone is what sinks this merge to the “Bottom 5” list.

4. “Survivor Nicaragua”: If the merge on “Survivor Tocantins” has the sin of being underwhelming, then this one has the sin of being incomprehensible. Alina? The person we’ve seen next to none of is the one who goes home? That’s just not the stuff of legend, and really not what a merge should be.

3. “Survivor Cambodia”: Perhaps a more personal choice, but the sudden attack on Kass this episode was a real turn-off. I won’t say she did NOTHING to deserve the boot (she did piss off majority leader Andrew Savage at the previous Tribal Council after all), but like with “Survivor All-Stars”, the personal attacks, in this case between Kass and Tasha, really just brought the whole thing down. With too many people to be truly comprehensible, and no hilarious Lex-face to compensate, this one just doesn’t stand up in the end.

2. “Survivor Thailand”: While I often complain of the merge happening too early in more recent seasons, I will concede that the merge can happen too late as well. Such is the case here. With the old Chuay Gahn up 5-3, this just became a predictable Pagonging, brought down further by the slimy Brian Heidik winning the reward challenge, and us having to, unfortunately, learn more about his personal life. Gag.

1. “Survivor Guatemala”: Yes, even one of my personal favorite seasons, and one that I feel gets a bad reputation, does have the worst merge. The one real criticism I’ve seen levied against this season, apart from being forgettable, was that the cast was largely made up of assholes. I personally take this as mostly people being butthurt about Stephenie LaGrossa, who was America’s sweetheart after “Survivor Palau” showing her more strategic side, and people being unhappy that she wasn’t as pure and wholesome as they thought. In this episode, though, I can kind of see their point. The majority tribe at the merge usually has some power of the minority, but the second iteration of Nakum REALLY came down hard on the second iteration of Yaxha here. It didn’t help that the (admittedly intriguing) twist of opting out of the challenge for food was introduced her. While a good twist in general, this one served to highlight the tribe division, making non-assholes seem like assholes, and the assholes seem like bigger assholes. Not even a really cool immunity challenge can redeem an episode where most everyone is unlikeable and the bad guys win.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Worlds Apart”: Really, there’s not a whole lot to hate about this merge. By and large, it’s just kind of standard. In fact, it almost didn’t make either list. Then I remembered that THIS was the season that gave us “Merica” for the merge tribe name. Still don’t know what they were thinking.

Bad merges aside, this episode of the current season was still really good. Those plotlines we saw starting in this episode seem to be growing, so hopefully intrigue will be the order of the day!

Will still can’t drink alcohol.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 7: The Return of the Knee

Why must the things I love always get stupid knee infections that require being pulled from the game? Yes, just when you’d thought we’d seen the end of the four-peats on “Survivor”, Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Cook Islands”) comes back with a vengeance, and takes it out on poor Neal. Penner at least had the decency to wait until Neal would end up on the jury to wreak havoc, but it’s still not very nice. Shame on you, Penner.

But first, time for another edition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Yes, I’m really on a roll here! Two episodes in a row where I made a mistake in my blog! Rather than a mistake of omission this time, it’s a mistake of misremembering, so at least there’s some variety there. When talking about Debbie’s “Women’s alliance” move with Michele, I say that they agree to go against Nick. Who they actually target is Jason. I wonder how I could possibly have made that mistake, given that Nick’s been getting the “douchbag” portrayal, and apart from some bullying, Jason’s been getting a pretty good edit thus far. Plus, Michele has personal conflict with Nick. Why would I EVER assume that Nick would be targeted before Jason. But now, once again, it’s Penner Time.

Yes, Penner ultimately does a number on the old Chan Loh, but he’s not the only one. Chaos reigns at the new Gondol post-Tribal Council, as you’d expect given how chaotic it was. Scot in particular is unhappy with the outcome, which makes sense given his “No Nonsense” sort of personality. However, he first takes his rage out on Joe for voting against the plan, which is odd, since Joe never seemed to be IN on that plan. These are the sort of things we ought to SEE, producers! Fortunately for Joe, he’s not the only one to be on the receiving end of a Scot rant. No, despite the fact that Aubry ultimately DID WHAT YOU WANTED, Scot thinks her waffling is too much to bear. A bit of an overreaction, but I can at least see his logic. As I said, Scot is not a complicated guy, and wants everything to stay simple. This move of Aubry’s is anything but simple. In her defense, I will say that she might legitimately have been confused, given the chaos of Tribal Council, but I do get Scot’s idea. Still, he’s being harsh, and starts earning that “bully” title that he and Jason have been wearing of late. He’s particularly mean in saying that, come next Tribal Council, he’ll be writing down “Aubry” and “Joe” alternately, and then crossing out all but his actual vote. That’s just harsh. Aubry and Joe both realize the predicament they’re in, lamenting that now they don’t have the numbers. Yep, if we didn’t know the merge was coming, this would be particularly bad!

Just to pile on the “royally screwed” for the old Chan Loh, we see a scene of Neal “fishing” with a saw. This in and of itself is nothing special, but Cydney breaks her silence to have a keen observation. There’s a noticeable bulge in Neal’s pocket, and given that we see that he’s not mad keen on working with the old To Tang, I doubt he’s happy to see you. She and Jason correctly conclude that it’s an idol. Since they plan on working against the old Chan Loh, blindsiding Neal becomes a top priority. While Neal didn’t hide the idol somewhere other than his person will forever remain a mystery.

In a stunning twist, however, the whole of the new Chan Loh is blindsided! A strange boat approaches shore, and a note tells them to gather their things in five minutes, since a merge is nigh! Just as we were told! Remember back in the old days, when the merge would come up in really unexpected and exciting ways, where each one was unique? Well, those days are gone, and the merge is just a ho-hum event now. Granted, the edition of a time limit in gathering things is nice, but we’ve seen it before, and we don’t get any real chaos from this one, so what was the point?

Evidently the two beaches are just a commercial break away, as everyone gathers on the Gondol Beach for the merge, Aubry celebrating her new life in this game. During the usual “How nice! The merge!” confessionals, we learn that the tribe’s name is Dara. Evidently we only get one good name every now and again, because after the triumph of a name that was “Orkun”, we now get something as simple and lame as “Dara”. Wow, that’s REALLY lazy and unmemorable. Come on, make your new tribe name something UNIQUE already! What’s worse, we don’t even get any sort of logic behind this new name! Is it the name of someone’s loved one? An actual word in K’hmer? Nonsense made up because it sounds funny? Was someone just a really big fan of Darrah Johnson from “Survivor Pearl Islands”, and just couldn’t spell her name right? Give me some answers here!

Sigh… Well, at least their flag looks cool when we see it.

As is now the norm with this cast, everything seems cordial at the merge feast. Flirtation abounds, as Debbie confesses her feelings towards Nick, and more humorously, Scot and Jason get in a joking fight over the affections of Tai. Ok, I’m going to be giving this episode a REALLY hard time later, so let me say for the record that this particular scene is great and hilarious. Definitely the highlight of the episode.

Sadly, as it always must, the bliss of the new merge ends. Unsurprisingly, resident douchebag Nick is the one to bring us back to our senses by being a douchebag and talking about how awesome and observant he is. Unlike last episode, at least at first, his observations seem to be a bit off the mark. He talks about the arrogance of the old To Tang, and while we do see a BIT of that later, we initially get that confessional over the comedic “Tai flirtation” scene, which doesn’t really seem arrogant at all.

The next scene doesn’t really give us arrogance either! Stupidity, perhaps, but not arrogance. Up until this point, while perhaps a bit blunt and unforgiving, Scot could be said to be playing a smart game, making the moves he needs to make and keeping everything on the down-low. Here, after being informed by Jason of the “Neal has an idol!” thing, Scot spills the beans to Nick AFTER BARELY KNOWING HIM! Sure, Nick’s made it pretty clear that he wants to go with them, but Scot can’t really know that, and that’s a BIG secret to share with someone who’s loyalty has yet to be tested, guy! Surely, though, Jason is better than this, and won’t be spilling even more beans to to Nick…

Oh wait, scratch that, Jason wants on the stupid train as well! He gets Scot talking about Tai’s idol, and the power they have. So now, you’re giving Nick even more power! Great work there, brain trust! Between that and your asshole-y “Shoving geeks in lockers.” comment later on, you guys are really dropping every ball this evening. First the strategy ball, and now the likability ball.

Sure enough, while he plays everything close to the chest, Nick DOES go and talk to the old Chan Loh, considering the fact that, as Neal points out, the old To Tang members are more likely to win individual challenges, and as Aubry later points out, are a tight threesome, whereas the old Chan Loh has more room to maneuver into. It’s actually a pretty decent dilemma, though it would at first seem odd that it’s the old Gondol that’s being wooed by both sides. Logic dictates that when you have two foursomes and a threesome, that you try and woo the threesome to get a majority. In this case, however, it makes sense that the old Gondol, rather than the old To Tang, would be the swing votes. After all, while the old Gondol is tied for most original tribe members left, they’re a fractious bunch, whereas the old To Tang and the old Chan Loh are both pretty united fronts. Thus, not only do you not need to swing all of them, but they’re overall an easier bunch to swing. It’s pretty standard gameplay, but as I’ve said before, after blogging seasons like “Survivor One World”, it’s nice to see groups of people collectively doing the sensible thing.

But enough with Nick, where does Michele stand on this? After all, she’s the other swing vote. You’d think, especially given how tight they were before the swap, that Michele and Julia would stick as swing votes together, but Julia for this entire episode is counted as a number for To Tang, and we never hear anything to the contrary. I guess one vote buys eternal loyalty now. Jason tries to woo Michele and Julia, and it’s here that we get the aforementioned “Geeks in lockers.” comment. Now Jason’s being somewhat arrogant, but Nick’s confessionals are nowhere to be found. Now, it’s sounding like Jason thinks his side is the obvious one, and he’s got the game all figured out. Not as much arrogance as we’ll be seeing later, but it’s enough to get Michele questioning her loyalties. As she puts it “She’s not married to Brawn and Beauty just yet.”

Meanwhile, back in Nick-land (yes, sadly we spend the majority of our time here this episode. Curse you swing vote!), we actually get some stuff that’s only TANGENTIALLY related to Nick, instead of directly. Basically, Debbie wants to make sure that her group stays in the majority, and this means finding allies wherever she can. Rather than be fully confident in Nick, she tries to gain other allies, which is good. But then she goes about it in a moronic way, which as you might guess, isn’t good at all. She basically ambushes Tai, and effectively tells him “We’re in an alliance now.” Tai, naturally, is put off by this, thereby ruining any chance he had of flipping. Granted, those chances were minimal to begin with, since he and Scot seem to have something going, but still, nice work, Debbie. She calls it “Aggressive Play”. Pretty much everyone else calls it “Horrible Play” And Debbie had been doing so well, too! Look, it’s not that looking for allies is bad, but you want to keep it on the down-low, and have it be by mutual consent. By strong-arming people, you turn them off to working with you. By being blatant about making new allies, you turn your old ones against you. Silent backup plans are one thing, but blatant fraternizing with the enemy only serves to weaken your position.

Oh, but Debbie isn’t done! She must COMPOUND the stupidity by basically doing the same thing to Nick, a guy you were masterfully stringing along one episode ago! WHY?!

Yes folks, after a long hiatus, we’ve returned to genuinely stupid gameplay. I’ve resisted “Coach” (“Survivor Tocantins”) comparisons a lot on this blog, in large part because everyone has already made them, but also because I haven’t felt them appropriate. Yes, they’re both people sort of on the fringe of sanity with some decent gameplay in them, but Debbie doesn’t seem as publicly self-aggrandizing as Coach ever did, and her stories, while still a bit ludicrous, are much more plausible than Coach’s. Here, though, Debbie goes full Coach. There’s no other comparison. Talking about how no one is playing on the level you are? Strong-arming people who don’t need to be strongarmed? Find me a better fit than Coach.

Still, one good thing does come of Debbie’s return to madness: Aubry comes into her own!

Yep, someone needs to do damage control, and that someone is Aubry. Taking her own initiative, she talks to Nick on her own, vainly trying to convince him that Debbie can be controlled, and that he and Michele would be way up in the alliance. Nick’s certainly willing to listen, and even seems to respect the pitch, but isn’t biting overall. Aubry relays this info to her ally Neal, now that the two have reconnected. All seems lost, until Neal reveals his idol to Aubry. At this point, given how much of a mess Debbie’s made, it’s highly unlikely that Nick and Michele can be pulled back into the fold, so while I’m never a fan of “idol play” as the main plan, I can see why it would be attractive and a good idea here.

We could move on to the challenge, but I want to spend another paragraph talking about Aubry. I know, I know, it’s blatant favoritism for my favorite player from this season, but it’s my blog, I get to do that. Plus, I think it merits mentioning. I’ve seen a number of people online saying that Aubry has no chance, that she’s just a wallflower who hasn’t really done anything. And it’s true, we haven’t seen as much of her as some others, because she’s not as big a character, but she’s far from done nothing, and I use this particular interaction with Nick as evidence. While it sadly seems to take a lot to get Aubry moving into more of a “game mode”, when the chips are down, this girl gets stuff done! Give her a tough situation, and she steps up to the plate and does everything in her power to swing things in her favor. In many ways, that’s harder to do than creating a blindside when you’re in power, since you have despair to contend with along with everything else. We haven’t seen as much of it beyond this episode (apart from her performance at the first immunity challenge), but you can tell it’s there, and that’s what makes me like her. She tackles adversity head-on, and won’t give up until she’s won or lost firmly, and that, above all else, is to be admired. And while she did act aloof when in power, and maybe could have handled the Peter boot slightly better, this shows that she can be quite an excellent social player when she wants to be.

Well, if I’m going to have MY indulgence, I’d better give Probst one as well. Hence, before we get to our immunity challenge, we get the “Infection Hour”, where Probst out of pretty much nowhere gets everyone talking about their infections. Tai, Scot, and Aubry all have infections on the inner thigh, while Neal has “Mount St. Neal” on his knee, which looks pretty bleak. Thank you, Probst, for showing us these out-of-the-blue injuries that weren’t built up at all and are pretty horrible to look at.

Oh, and we should also talk about this season’s individual immunity idol. Not as good as the tribal immunity idol, but that was a tough act to follow. This one does a pretty good job, being a circle of woven bands of tribe-colored string, but with some shrunken heads added for effect. A bit out there, and not the most stand-our idol ever, but it gets the job done pretty well. It sort of combines the best elements of the individual immunity idols from “Survivor Africa” and “Survivor Philippines” with the tribal immunity idol from “Survivor Exile Island”.

Ok, ok, so I’m stalling because I don’t want to talk about the immunity challenge! It’s SO BORING! It’s the damn “balance the balls on the disc” challenge that originated on “Survivor Redemption Island”. Already a bad sign, and made worse by the fact that it doesn’t look interesting the slightest, and is overused to the point of nausea. I get that it’s easy to make, challenging, and a nice endurance challenge, but REALLY, come up with something better.

At least we get a nice surprise in this one. With a challenge being about balance, you expect larger, top-heavy men to be first out of this one, and it somewhat holds true with Joe being the first casualty. But the Debbie falls, being outlasted by both Jason and Scot. Granted, they’re not far behind, but I had Debbie as a potential winner of this challenge. Guess those years of waitressing didn’t help out too much after all. And, in the end, Nick wins the whole thing, beating out Tai and Julia in the final round. Whodathunkit? Personally, I’d have picked either of those two over Nick.

Since Nick was a swing vote, his winning immunity doesn’t change anything, so it seems like the old To Tang will take it all this time around. And let me tell you, they REALLY kick it into high gear with the arrogance now, talking about how their plan can’t possibly fail, and they’re going to pick off the old Chan Loh one by one. Yeah, suffice to say that Jason and Scot really don’t look too good this episode, and if I didn’t have a HUGE dislike for them before, I do now.

That’s not to say, of course, that they aren’t somewhat justified in that arrogance. They do seem to be in the dominant position. Nick’s pretty much already declared his loyalty, such as it is, but Debbie and Aubry make another attempt to sway the opinion of Michele. Unfortunately, in a rare misstep for Aubry this episode, she lets Debbie do the talking. While Debbie doesn’t do QUITE as badly as she did with Tai and Nick, and Aubry does bring up a good point about the tightness of the old To Tang, they still come off looking wishy-washy, not helped when they can’t even decide whether to target Scot or Jason. Come on, Aubry, you can do better than this!

In one really good move for Nick, he and Michele discuss their strategy. Last time this happened, you’ll recall that Nick dismissed Michele’s thoughts out of hand, and alienated a potential ally. Neither of these things is really a good idea. Evidently, Nick can travel through time, somehow read this blog in the time between episodes, and took it to heart, because he plays this PERFECTLY! He politely asks Michele what she wants, agrees with her, and makes it like a discussion. And thus, the deal is set to send Aubry home, since the alliance doesn’t yet have the numbers to split the votes, and they’re certain that Aubry won’t have the idol. Pretty good misdirection as to whether or not Aubry will end up with idol, should make for a fun Tribal Council. Sad to see such a definitive answer to where Nick and Michele would go, but I can’t fault them for that decision. The old Chan Loh has not been presenting themselves well this episode, and it’s just smarter to go with the old To Tang. They may be united, but you can outthink them, and if you can unite, you’re four over three, which are pretty good odds. Plus, you’re sticking with your old tribemates, which is generally safer than going into the unknown.

But wait! We see Probst coming in with one Dr. Rupert (yeah, yeah, “He’s Rupert from ‘Survivor Pearl Islands’!”, everyone’s made that joke already), and right away, you can see where this episode is going. We were promised three medical evacuations, and we’ve only had one. Someone’s getting carted away, thus paving the way for a repeat of “Survivor Philippines”, with the returnees being exclusively from “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. And this, my friends, is where the episode dies. It hadn’t been the best before, with a lot of cocky arrogance making it hard to watch. While the dilemma of which side would win was a good one, it’s about to get neutered, making this episode pretty much pointless. On top of that, there was pretty much NO foreshadowing for this! And granted, I don’t like when they telegraph a boot, but I feel like medical evacuations are the place where we NEED some warning. Build up the spectacle through the entire episode. Don’t just mention it before the challenge, and then suddenly have it be the defining factor. This came out of the blue, and I don’t like it one bit. It renders most of the episode pointless, and delays the interesting conflict.

Everyone with an infection gets examined, with differing results. Tai’s look ok, so he’s safe. Scot’s is worse, but not too bad, so he just gets away with close monitoring. Aubry’s is like Scot’s but, bigger, so she gets put on antibiotics. With one medical evacuation still on the way, that’s pretty worrying, but she’s not leaving the game. The problem is Neal. Despite not feeling any pain, the infection is near the joint, which worries Dr. Rupert. To his credit, Neal does pretty much everything he can to avoid being pulled from the game. He protests, insists it’s fine, and only caves in when the doctor insists he has to leave. Thankfully, Probst largely leaves the proceedings alone for everyone, just making a clarifying comment after each examination. That’s the role he really needs to play here, and he does it well.

But yes, this means the loss of Neal, which is a sad one. We sadly didn’t see too much of Neal, and I get the feeling he’ll go down as a poorly-remembered player of the season, but I got the idea that he had more in him than we saw, and I hope we get the chance to develop it later.

Neal has a tearful goodbye with everyone, though he pulls a Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”), and opts to keep the idol for himself. I’d say that he did it because giving his alliance the idol would make them targets, but if J.T. can slip an idol into a freaking SHOE on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” without it being seen, then surely Neal can find a way to drop it in Aubry’s bag or something. Come on, dude, you know they’re in trouble! Find a way to help them out!

So basically, we had an unforeshadowed exit of a good player by unsatisfying means, thereby delaying all the good stuff for next episode. You see why this one doesn’t really work. Apart from the “good person leaving” part, this is pretty much a carbon-copy of the merge episode of “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, which, need I remind you, is NOT the season to copy! We have someone getting a non-gameplay elimination, thus delaying an interesting conflict in both. Is this one as bad as the one on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”? Thankfully no. There, we had a quit rather than a medevac, which is harder to watch, and the arrogance here wasn’t AS painful, so points there. That does not, however, a good episode make.

Fortunately, there are two good points this time around. First off, the rise of Aubry is fun to watch, and will hopefully continue to be fun to watch! I’d like to think she can find a way out of this, but I don’t see one at the moment. Second, though, the debate of which side to go with can now continue into next episode, and as we saw in “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, that can make all the difference.

But, since it’s merge time, it’s time for another:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

Since they’re what the episode SHOULD have been about, let’s talk medevacs. Hardly the most pleasant part of the show, and things that should be avoided at all costs, they can nevertheless make for the occasional spectacle that reminds us of the seriousness of the environment. While I don’t wish harm on anyone, in a perverse way, they can be entertaining. Therefore, I’ll be judging these medevacs based on entertainment value. For me, that comes down to a combination of the spectacle of their injury, plus the person it’s happening to and their reaction to it. Again, it’s perverse, but it’s human nature. Like a car crash, you can’t look away. Also, if this person appeared on multiple seasons, I’ll be listing the one they were on when they got evacuated for them. Let’s get started with…

TOP 5

5. Bruce Kanegai (“Survivor Exile Island”): People tend to forget that medevacs were rare back in the day, let alone seeing medical. When Bruce’s colon became blocked, it was the first time in five years that medical had to come out and look at someone. That alone made it stand out, but the fact that it happened to Bruce made it rougher. Like the guy for his quirkiness or hate him for how entitled and bossy he could be, you had to agree that Bruce was pretty stoic. The man got his lip chopped in half and brushed it off! So, when he was keeling over in pain, you knew it was serious. Not as serious as the other stuff that’ll be on this list, since this one was harder to see for the audience, but still pretty serious. What really lands it on this list, though, is the reaction of everyone else upon Bruce’s leaving. As I said, Bruce was a real love-or-hate character, and he was definitely not universally popular amongst his fellow contestants. In a case of not speaking ill of the proverbially dead, though, everyone gave nice, touching thoughts on Bruce, and even cleaned his rock garden for him. How sweet.

4. Russell Swan (“Survivor Samoa”): A member of my alma mater, and member of the dominant tribe of the season (at least pre-merge), Russell was a hard guy to hate. He was tough, and while he made mistakes, he was generally a good leader. When we heard someone would nearly DIE on the show, no one expected him. But a combination of unending rain and an undying work ethic dehydrated Russell to the point of collapse, and that shocked pretty much everyone, even ultimately ending a reward challenge due to the seriousness of it. We’d never really seen anyone that close to death on the show before, and it therefore becomes seared into one’s brain, earning it this spot on the list. It was creepy enough seeing Russell pass out when medical was there, but seeing it the first time, when you didn’t know what was going on, that was real terror. And, in many ways on this list, that’s actually kind of a good thing.

3. Caleb Reynolds (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): This one’s pretty simple: Caleb took what happened with Russell and upped the drama immensely. True, Russell in some ways did seem closer to death than Caleb, by being still rather than convulsing, but Caleb still seemed pretty near death, and in this case, misery loves company. Things got serious for Russell, but with Caleb, Cydney, and Debbie all going down, everyone had to be on duty. As I said in my episode 4 blog, this was a great show of professionalism by the production team, and it was neat to see them come together like this. I’m glad Caleb’s ok, and that his spectacle was enough to put him up here on the list.

2. Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Micronesia”): What this one lacks in the seriousness of others, it makes up for in foreshadowing and emotion. Unlike most other medical evacuations, we had pretty much an episode and a half of buildup for this one, so we really got to take in the story. But the real kicker, though, is the emotion. They pull out the sad music, the tearful interviews, the breakdowns from his tribe. For whatever reason, production pulled out all the stops in the tear-jerker that is the exit of Jonathan Penner. And it WORKS! Man, you really feel like this is a huge loss, even though Penner probably would have been voted out sooner rather than later. With the possible exception of the number one spot, Penner being pulled for a hole in his knee is the most emotional of medical evacuations, and earns the right to be on this list.

1. Michael Skupin (“Survivor The Australian Outback”): Sometimes less is more, and the only thing production could do to make Mike’s fall in the fire more dramatic than putting music over it was, oddly enough, to do nothing. Alone on this list, this one just lets the drama play out. All the game is put on hold, all attempts to hide production gone, the seriousness just gets to play out for a good long time. And then, even when Mike gets away safely on a helicopter, we get more tear-jerking scenes of everyone on the Kucha tribe crying/rallying at the loss of Mike. Hell, even the Ogakor tribe, the ENEMY of Mike Skupin, gets in on the action, that’s just how serious and heart-rending it is! It stands out, was extremely serious, and has a lot of heart. There’s good reason this is one of the most-remembered moments in the history of the show, as well as top of this list.

Honorable Mention: Shamar Thomas (“Survivor Caramoan”): Yeah, this one may be hard to remember, but Shamar was taken out, not for being annoying, but for a sore eye that was somehow deathly serious. Low stakes and barely foreshadowed, this one by rights should be on the “Bottom 5” list. However, it’s happening to Shamar, who pretty much everyone universally wanted to see suffer, so I’ll give it an honorable mention for schadenfreude.

BOTTOM 5

5. Joe Dowdle (“Survivor Tocantins”): I’m probably being a bit harsh here, since this one WAS adequately foreshadowed, and was at least as serious as the aforementioned Penner evacuation. In fact, it was EXACTLY as serious, being an infection near the knee. So, what makes this one different? Well, apart from the editing team not giving us as many tear-jerking moments as Penner got, do you honestly remember Joe as a contestant, let alone his manner of leaving? I thought so. This one isn’t bad by any standards, but just so forgettable that it has to go on the list.

4. Neal Gottlieb (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): It seems that those who follow in the footsteps of Penner are doomed to mediocrity. A lack of foreshadowing puts this knee infection higher than Joe’s, and the loss of a great character really hits me personally. At least we get to see Neal on the jury.

3. Gary “Papa Smurf” Stritesky (“Survivor Fiji”): Up until this point, medevacs were treated with a lot of reverence. They took up a whole episode, and honored the memory of the fallen contestant. This one basically said “Screw it, we’re moving on anyway!” Gary left with very little fanfare, which is a shame, since he was a likable guy, and the only non-recruit in the cast. On top of that, his reason for leaving turned out to be incredibly lame. It was general shortness of breath, which turned out to be caused by an allergic reaction to bug bites. BUG BITES! When you have had people downed by third-degree burns and blocked intestines, this one just seems lame by comparison. The fact that it’s basically an afterthought for the show itself is the icing on this awful cake, and a real sad ending for one of the few likable elements of the season.

2. Dana Lambert (“Survivor Philippines”): Interesting fact: Dana is the only woman to be medevaced in the history of the show. Perhaps they’re not as foolhardy as others. Sad to say, Dana does not do her gender justice. Dana was downed by some sort of jungle illness, already not the most dramatic way to go out of the game. What’s frustrating about this one, though, is the fact that Dana didn’t NEED to go then! Of all the medical evacuations, she was the only one who insisted medical take her when they said she could stay. I try not to be too judgmental of people who dare to do this show, but that’s just an insult! Were it not for the number one spot being so horrible, this show of unemotional weakness would take it!

1. Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”): Since the tragic and unfortunate death of Caleb Bankstown (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”), I’ve tried to leave Colton alone, since I feel like the poor guy has suffered enough, and doesn’t need some asshole on the internet tearing him down further. Unfortunately, I just can’t find a reason NOT to put Colton’s “Medical Evacuation” on this list. I use quotation marks since there’s debate about whether or not Colton faked appendicitis to leave the game, thinking he couldn’t win. I tend to discount this, since Colton was in a good position anyway, and didn’t really have a reason to want to leave the game, but I feel the controversy should be acknowledged. This one being the worst really centers around the person it happened to. Essentially, Colton annoyingly tantrummed his way into power, ran the game, and then left in an unsatisfying manner. There’s no emotion there because pretty much no one liked Colton at this point. We wanted him gone, sure, but we wanted him voted off in a satisfying manner, not this! This really was just the final insult in a season full of insults. Colton, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry for the harsh words. I’m trying to be nice to you, since I feel like you’ve had to endure a lot because of this show, but I have to call them like I see them, and your leaving the season was just the worst.

Honorable Mention: James Clement (“Survivor Micronesia”): This one has emotion and some foreshadowing, and really should be on the “Top 5” list. Unfortunately, it has the problem of coming after Penner’s exit on the same season, and without all the bells and whistles that Penner’s exit got, just feels like a second-rate rehash of a better plot. Not so bad that it needs to be on the “Bottom 5” list proper, but must still be acknowledged.

As I say, this wasn’t a good episode for the season, but hopefully, good things will come, and it doesn’t ruin the season by any stretch. Keep your glasses raised for next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Tocantins

Tocantins continues the fine “’Survivor’ Retrospectives” tradition of covering two seasons back-to-back with opposite stories. Not like “Survivor Vanuatu” and “Survivor Palau” though, and certainly not to the extreme of those two seasons. Quite the contrary, I actually have very little negative to say about either Tocantins or “Survivor Gabon”. No, the opposite stories come from my own take on the seasons over the years. As I mentioned last week, “Survivor Gabon” was one of my favorites at the time of airing, but has lost some of its appeal as time has passed. Conversely, while I never hated Tocantins by any stretch of the imagination, I always sort of lumped it into the “pretty ok” category along with “Survivor China”. However, five years on, I find that I may have underappreciated Tocantins in its heyday, and perhaps the good elements it had hold more water than I gave credit for, and the bad elements don’t matter as much as they did in the moment. Admittedly, this intro is fairly detailed, and probably means you already know my opinion, but for those interested, let’s take a deeper look into what makes this season good, and why I thought it average at the time of its airing.
Beforehand, though, I should once again like to remind my readers that this review will contain spoilers for the Tocantins season of “Survivor”. Those who don’t feel that my intro is enough, but also don’t want to be spoiled on the season, can scroll to the bottom of the page, where I’ve added an “Abstract” section. This will give my general thoughts on the strengths of the season without spoilers for the events therein, and is a good overview on how watchable the season is. Now then, with that bit of business out of the way, lets get to the in-depth analysis.

CAST
As I’ve said about many a season before, the cast of Tocantins is a polarizing one. However, I usually mean that in the sense that people either love it or hate it. In this case, however, I mean that the cast itself contained a lot of people who were and are much beloved, and a lot of people who were and are much disliked. For your guide to who’s who, let’s start off with by far the most famous player to come out of the season, James “J.T.” Thomas Jr. The ultimate winner of the show, J.T. was beloved both for his good-old southern boy charm (as he himself said, “It’s something in the accent.”), and for his actually exceptional gameplay. J.T. holds the distinction to ever play a “perfect” game of “Survivor”, which is usually defined as receiving no votes against you before the Final Tribal Council, and sweeping all of the votes at the Final Tribal Council. This is definitely an impressive feat, and while a lot of the people at the time decried J.T. for seeming to have little mental game, leaving it to his alliance-mates, the fact is that, while not necessarily his STRONGEST asset, J.T. did play a great mental game, and an exceptional social game. To have won over the entire jury, and make no mistake, his opponent was no goat, J.T. HAD to have been planning this, and this planning shows in certain moves of his, such as going against his alliance and refusing to vote off Benjamin “Coach” Wade. Don’t tell me that didn’t influence Coach’s decision to vote for J.T. in the end. To be fair, J.T. has lost some fan adoration for a particular action of his on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, but even to this day, he has a pretty decent fan following, his name is still occasionally brought up in “Great ‘Survivor’ Players” conversations, and people still seem to like him. While J.T. wasn’t my absolute favorite on the season (we’ll get to him shortly), I certainly liked him a lot then, and I still like him quite a lot now. His gameplay was good, he got off a lot of nice one-liners, and there was some sort of charm to him that infected even me. I’m glad he was on this season, and I’d be happy to see him again!
Still, whatever J.T. said to the contrary, he could not have gotten to the end on his own. That’s where his main alliance-mate, Stephen Fishbach, comes into play. In a sort of buddy comedy move, Stephen and J.T. became the closest alliance in Tocantins, despite their seeming to have little in common. As mentioned, J.T. portrayed himself as the good-old Southerner, very athletic and socially confident. Stephen, in contrast, was almost your stereotypical East-Coaster. A longtime resident of New York City, Stephen was lanky, awkward, and by his own admission, not very good in challenge. Stephen was a hard worker, to be sure, but he just didn’t quite have the same natural ability as J.T. when it came to survival. To make sure the irony was incredibly thick, Stephen was quoted in the first episode of saying words to the effect that the Southerner (nobody knew each other’s names yet) and himself would probably have little in common, and that he was accordingly afraid. Not to say that Stephen was entirely defined by his relationship to J.T., of course, just that it played the biggest role in the season. On his own, Stephen was still a great character. A little lanky and awkward, but very determined and quite the good schemer. Put it this way: he managed to obtain an idol despite not having been to Exile Island, but instead by making a close relationship with the person who HAD been to Exile Island. That takes some doing. On top of this, Stephen made a good “Fish out of Water” (pun totally intended) story, due to his being very brainy but lacking in outdoor skills. This gave him almost an underdog quality, and it was a joy to watch his machinations keep him in the game longer and longer. And to guild the lily, Stephen could be counted upon for both insightful and funny confessionals. In case it wasn’t clear, Stephen is my favorite castaway from Tocantins. I identified a lot with his brainy aspects, and he made a lot of the same moves I made. While in some ways he was overshadowed by J.T., Stephen still made a great impact on the fandom, and when talking about the smartest “Survivor”-players ever, he’s usually way up there. It helps that he has a regular role on “Rob Has A Podcast”, reality tv podcasts done by Rob Cesternino of “Survivor The Amazon”, which keep him in the public consciousness somewhat. Personally, I’m very disappointed that Stephen has not been brought back for a season yet, and hope that, in future, Stephen will get the second chance he so richly deserves As a final note, I’ll say that at the time of the airing of Tocantins, Stephen was the second closest I’d ever come to rooting for the winner, and even as of the time of this writing, he’s still the third closest. Given how the people I like USUALLY fare, that’s pretty impressive.
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George makes up the third member of the three-person alliance J.T. and Stephen were the key members of. While regrettably not as well-remembered as J.T. and Stephen are today, Taj was much talked about at the time, and I would argue is criminally underrated. Like Stephen, Taj was not very comfortable in the outdoors, and perhaps even beat out Stephen in this regard. Larger than the average contestant, and not in a good way, Taj was also used to a fairly nice lifestyle, having been a famous singer with the “Sisters with Voices” group, and married to pro-football player Eddie George. Needless to say, most people had her pegged as an early boot, but Taj became a pleasant surprise to most with very impressive strategic chops. Sent to Exile Island very early on, Taj managed to make a cross tribal alliance with Timbira member Brendan Synnott (who, while a perfectly fine person, did not leave much impact, and as such will not be talked about much in this blog), and even wormed her way into the good graces of her tribe, mostly through her never-give-up attitude and her warm, bubbly personality. Although down in numbers come the merge, Taj, along with J.T. and Stephen, managed to make a majority out of a minority. While J.T. and Stephen tend to get the credit for turning around the fortunes of the Jalapao tribe come the merge, Taj played her part as well, and by the end was respected as a nice person and a good strategist. Her popularity has died out, mostly due to being overshadowed by J.T. and Stephen, which is unfortunate. Similar to Lisa Whelchel of “Survivor Philippines” Taj was an out-of-place woman expected to be gone early, but had surprising strategic chops, and lasted quite a long time. While she could be a bit over-the-top for my tastes at times, I still enjoyed her story a lot, and wouldn’t mind seeing her come back either.
But, having gone over the good of the “Survivor Tocantins” cast, we must now discuss the bad of the “Survivor Tocantins” cast. Far and away, the big name in all this was the aforementioned “Coach”. The self-proclaimed “Dragonslayer” and leader of the Timbira tribe, Coach was the one promoted the most for this season. He was crazy. He had outlandish stories. He wanted to restore “honor” to the game. It was this last part that really turned me off to Coach. No one, and I mean no one, plays the game “honorably”. Some may play it COMPARATIVELY honorably, but Coach doesn’t even fall into THAT category. He lied and betrayed almost as much as everyone else on the show, professed to wanting to keep the strong, but then voted out Brendan, just became all-around very hypocritical, and hypocrisy really bugs me on this show. What was worse, he seemed to have no self-knowledge, and didn’t realize just how these stories and grandiose statements were making him sound. The reaction of his fellow cast members pretty much mirrors what other people thought of him. Some, like Tyson Apostol, found him highly entertaining and a good guy, while others life Erinn Lobdell and Taj couldn’t stand him and his bragging. Erinn herself put it best, simply by saying “Who IS this jackass?” The audience pretty much fell into the same two camps, and it’s pretty obvious that I put in more with the Erinn and Taj camp. Admittedly, I may be being a bit hard on Coach, as he did get much less annoying in his later appearances, but at the time, particularly because he was the most hyped contestant of the season, I was ready to see him gone.
Following the patter seen with J.T., Stephen, and Taj, where all the well-liked people aligned, all the people I like less seemed to align. In this case, Coach’s ally Tyson was also a character I didn’t particularly care for. Unlike Coach, however, I seem to be alone on this, as audiences loved Tyson. He was fairly good looking, and had a very snarky sense of humor. Honestly, I think it was the humor that made me not very fond of Tyson. His brand of snark often involved making very derogatory comments towards his fellow contestants. Now that’s all well and good, it can be funny, except that with Tyson, I got the feeling he really meant them, hyperbole and all. On top of that, I never really saw him make fun of himself, which to me is the mark of a good comedian, and would have served as a nice balance to his snark towards others. As it stood at the time, I saw him as a very mean-spirited narcissist, with not a lot of strategic game. People talk up Tyson’s strategic mind, but taking this season on it’s own, Tyson really didn’t do anything. He was out fairly quickly at the merge, most of the blindsides on his tribe were orchestrated by Coach, and while he did win a few immunities, which is always a nice touch, I just don’t get what made Tyson so special. What I did see, I didn’t like, so I, for one, am not a fan of Tyson.
That really sums up the cast of Tocantins who made a lasting impact, but there are a few who were popular at the time who bear mentioning. One, Sierra Reed, was often the target of Tyson’s humor, and was considered one of the more “outdoors-challenged” people to make it far. A lot followed Tyson’s lead with the snark, but some had sympathy for her. I tended to be neutral on Sierra. I liked her ok, but she wasn’t one of my favorites, and I wasn’t sorry she left. She was fairly nice, though. Overcoming similar odds was Sandy Burgin, a tough older lady whom many thought left too soon. I was one of those people. Sandy was a lot of fun, and as we don’t get enough tough older ladies on the show, I enjoyed her tenure. Also fun to watch was Sydney Wheeler, who is often called one of the better looking women to have appeared on the show. While I do agree, and she was one of my first “Survivor” crushes (though only lightly, as our ages were still a bit far apart to be feasible), I’m not one of those people who watches “Survivor” to look at young women in swimsuits. Thankfully, Sydney had more going for her than that. One of the more socially apt women, she tried to play a Parvati Shallow-esque (“Survivor Cook Islands”) game, and flirt her way to the top. While it didn’t work, it was fun to watch, and I enjoyed Sydney.
All that said, however, Tocantins must be acknowledged to having a lot of flops, and a lot of flops who made it deep on top of that. Most egregious is the aforementioned Erinn, who made final three despite being fairly boring, the occasional one-liner notwithstanding. Debra “Debbie” Beebee, Brendan, Joe Dowdle, and others not mentioned, seemed like perfectly nice people, but just left no impact on the game, and as such people make up a large portion of the cast, and those who were memorable being a fairly even split between good and bad characters, my score might seem high. All I can say is that more will be revealed in the “Overall” section.

Score: 9 out of 10.

CHALLENGES
They’re not often talked about, but a lot of the challenges from Tocantins became staples of the series, and are counted amongst the greats. The rolling of giant crates, and using said crates to build a set of stairs comes from Tocantins, as does the now overused Water-Basketball challenge. It’s rare that a season not only reuses very few challenges, but also sets the standard and creates the ideas that form the basis of later challenges, so Tocantins must be commended for that. While unable to do quite as much as “Survivor Gabon” in terms of scale, Tocantins was still very impressive, and more importantly, managed to keep that scale in later challenges after the merge, something that very few seasons get right. On top of that, Tocantins did a great job balancing its challenges. Nothing felt too repetitive, nothing felt like it had been done before in the same season, every challenge seemed fairly designed. However, for all these good points, Tocantins did have a few “odd duck” challenges that just felt very un-“Survivor”. For example, there was an immunity challenge that involved memorizing math symbols. Alright, memorizing numbers is one thing, but ARITHMATIC signs? That just doesn’t seem to fit to me. On top of this, it was GLARINGLY obvious when the season reused challenges, and while the original ones tended to be pretty good, it’s also worth noting that a lot of them have faded from consciousness over the years. For these reasons, I can’t score the season as high on challenges as I’d like to, but let it be said that when the season nailed the challenges, it REALLY nailed them, and that cannot be taken away from it.

Score: 7 out of 10.

TWISTS
Contrary to a lot of past seasons, Tocantins’ twists were few and far between. What WERE there were good, to be sure, but compared to the past couple seasons, this was very light. This in itself was a twist: a return to old-school “Survivor”. Sure there was Exile Island and the hidden immunity idol, but there were only 16 contestants, two tribes, no shakeup, and a merge at 10. Pretty standard fare, but it was nice to see a return to basics after so long.
Not that you’d know this was a return to basics by the leadup. While there were virtually no producer-implemented twists this season, what few producer-implemented twists there were got frontloaded into the season. Exile Island was back, of course, reusing the twist from “Survivor Micronesia” that sent two people of Exile Island each time pre-merge. A slight change up was that whomever was sent from the losing tribe picked someone from the winning tribe, rather than the winning tribe picking both people. Once again as well, the hidden immunity idol was hidden back at the camp, this time in the back of a statue by tree mail. Not the most original of twists, but another way to prevent Exile Island from getting too repetitive. It helped that there was some strategy changeup due to this twist, as this was how Taj and Brendan were able to form their cross-tribal alliance early in the game, and the intrigue of how to keep it up and who to send to Exile Island made for a lot of interesting episodes.
Probably the one twist that flopped was the mutiny. With two people at Exile Island, each had the option of switching tribes, a similar offer to the ones made in “Survivor Thailand” and “Survivor Cook Islands”, but without the time limit. As with “Survivor Thailand”, no one was dumb enough to take it, nothing came of it, and while it wasn’t bad, it was pretty pointless.
Rounding out the producer-implemented twists was the “first impressions” twist. After another salvage operation opening, each tribe was asked to select one member to not make the hike to camp with them. Presuming they were voting someone out, each tribe selected their weakest member. Jalapao selected Sandy for her age, and Timbira selected Sierra due to her sickness. It was then revealed that these people would instead be flown to camp, and have a chance to redeem themselves. While calling it the “first impressions” twist was a bit corny, it was an effective fake out for the contestants, and fun to watch for everyone else. It helped that Sandy and Sierra, once they reached the camps, had a choice to either search for a special hidden immunity idol that was good at the first tribal council, or try to improve their impression by building a shelter. Sandy looked for the idol, while Sierra built a shelter. Neither method was very effective, but both avoided being first out, which was nice to see. Both overcame their impressions well, though to varying degrees of success, as Sandy didn’t last more than one tribal council beyond the first. Still, good to see that preconceptions could be shattered.
After this we entered a dry spell. The trouble is that threesomes on each tribe (J.T., Stephen, and Taj for Jalapao, Coach, Tyson, and Debbie for Timbira) controlled the vote pretty well, meaning that there were almost no blindsides pre-merge. The exception might be Spencer Duhm, at the time the youngest contestant ever, but even he had some inkling of what was happening.
No, nothing much really happened until we got to the merge, where we once again had a twist overload. First, we got another evacuee in Joe, whose knee became too infected for him to continue in the game. It was a nice reminder that the game was real, and while it’s always disappointing to see someone leave without being voted out, Joe made very little impact on the game, so from a viewer’s perspective, not a huge loss. But THEN! First Brendan is blindsided, due to Coach’s delusions of grandeur, then Stephen, J.T., and Taj manage to pull in Erinn and change the course, blindsiding a no longer immune Tyson in place of Sierra. Then, to appease Coach and Debbie, Sierra is voted out anyway. This upset is the highlight of the season, and deservedly so. It helped cement the underdog story of Jalapao, and created excitement where there was none. Best twist of the season.
Sadly, this led to a dry spell of twists. There was a minor producer-implemented one at the reward auction, when Taj, having bought a visit from her husband, sent herself and her husband to Exile Island, and in return getting everyone else’s loved ones out, which was nice, but similar to twists before it.
The finals were also a bit chaotic, as J.T. and Stephen turned on longtime ally Taj as a jury threat, but even then, the obvious final two of Stephen and J.T. came to be. It DID give us an interesting, if landslide, Tribal Council in which Stephen, despite being fairly well-liked, was lambasted compared to the comparatively loyal J.T., particularly after Stephen honestly admitted that he would not have taken J.T. to the finals, and J.T. put up a great show (of pure B.S.) about how put out he was, and how this ruined the friendship. Finally, J.T.’s perfect run was pretty cool to see, and went to a deserving guy.
While I admit most of the twists were good, they were just too infrequent to really give this section a good score. However, I will give it credit that there was barely a stinker amongst the twists.

Score: 5 out of 10.

OVERALL
Theme-wise, Tocantins didn’t have a lot to work with. True, it was better than “Generic South Pacific Island”, but somehow the culture just didn’t feel that distinctive, particularly after “Survivor The Amazon”, which was filmed in the same country. Still, it made up for this with a dramatic and evocative landscape, so I give it a pass.
Looking back, I think I can see why I had a harder time liking Tocantins at first, along with a lot of others. It was a slow start of a season with overall fewer characters. Compared to, for example, “Survivor Gabon”, not a lot happened in the early episode. Granted, once the merge came and things started happening, it was exceptional, but it just seemed like a case of “too little, too late.” Further, for people like me who were more recent fans, and not accustomed to the “twist lite” attitude of early seasons, this one felt lazy. Now that I have more appreciation for “twist lite” seasons, I can respect Tocantins a lot more for what it did. I should add that it was a very well-executed season, where applicable.
I think the big thing that time gives us, though, is perspective, and that also makes this season go up in my estimation. As I said before, at the time Tyson and particularly Coach were the most heavily-promoted aspects of the season. I didn’t like them, and so thought negatively of the season. Five years hence, however, I find that what I remember most is the relationship between J.T. and Stephen, which I really loved, and so I look on the season more fondly. Stretching a bit further, one could argue that camaraderie was the theme of the season, and due to the cast, it fit very well. While each individual aspect of the season may not have performed as well as others, combined, they made for a great season.

SCORE: 31 out of 40.

ABSTRACT
Fans of the more modern, producer-twist-heavy “Survivor” may have a hard time getting into this one, and will certainly be taken aback by the sparseness of it. If you can get past a slow pre-merge, however, you’ll find an engaging and (mostly) likeable cast that’s a nice throwback to the early days of “Survivor”. Given the chance, I’d say watch this one if you can.