“Survivor” What-Ifs?: Marquesas

So yeah, it’s been a while….

To those of you still here, or coming back to read this, thank you.  My promises of a productive off-season have clearly been shot at this point.  In my defense, I’ve had a rough few months at work, and that plus the lack of new “Survivor” news killed a lot of my incentive to use my free time to talk about all things “Survivor” (as a side note, perhaps it’s the restart of season production that has incentivized me to get back on the horse).  But from an outsider’s perspective, I get that doesn’t matter.  I said there would be more off-season content than there has been, and even left a six-month gap or so with no new content.  For that, I’m sorry, and thanks for sticking with me/coming back.  I hope to do better moving forward.  Maybe not weekly content, but hopefully at least one new blog a month up until we start getting solid information/content about the newest seasons.  

Given the gap between blogs, I think a quick refresher of what this one entails is in order.  This is “Survivor What-Ifs?”, a speculative blog where I go back and change one small moment in “Survivor” history.  I then discuss the impact this change would have on the course of all seasons that came after it, dividing my analysis up into three sections: The Impact, where I discuss what specifically I’m changing in the timeline and any changes that happen within the same episode as a result; The Fallout, where I discuss how that change impacts the rest of the season the change occurs in; and The Legacy, where I discuss how this change impacts the seasons that came after.  How much detail each section gets varies depending on where in the timeline said change takes place.  For example, the change we’ll be discussing today takes place near the end of the season, so The Impact and The Fallout will be shorter but have more specifics in them.  Conversely, The Legacy will be longer, but be more of a generalization than the other two sections.  

All this leads into the usual reminder that there will be SPOILERS ahead.  It’s rather difficult to talk about how a timeline differs from our own without referencing our own timeline.  I’ll mainly be discussing the outcome of “Survivor Marquesas” in this blog, but other seasons may be mentioned in The Legacy, so if you want to be safe, maybe don’t read ahead until you’ve seen all seasons from Marquesas on.  With all that business out of the way, let’s go ahead and dive into the change with…

THE IMPACT

Marquesas is an interesting place to shake up the timeline in, as it’s a season with a lot of mixed opinions.  Some find that it’s an underrated gem of a season; others find it decent, but nothing to write home about.  For myself, I kind of fall somewhere in the middle.  From a strategic standpoint, it’s a VERY important season, delivering us the first full alliance-flip, as well as Vecepia’s innovative strategy for the “Fallen Comrades” challenge that got it discontinued from the show.  I fully acknowledge and respect this.  That said, for my money, while important things HAPPEN, on the season, the PEOPLE they happen to by and large aren’t that interesting to watch from a viewership perspective.  Oh, the season has some great characters to be sure.  Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien is a treat, and both Sean Rector and John Carroll are underrated gems who deserve another shot in the game.  But most of the big characters go out pre-merge, in part, I think, due to the losing Maraamu tribe being stacked in terms of characters.  They were definitely the more fun tribe to watch, but their early losses meant most of the big characters went out early, thus leaving us with an inoffensive, but overall not that dynamic, merge cast.  Put another way, I feel like our timeline of Marquesas is what “Survivor Exile Island” would have been like if the La Mina/Casaya wins and losses had been flipped.  There would have been nothing WRONG with La Mina dominating the merge and post game, and interesting strategy would doubtless still occur, but we would have lost most of the fun people to watch along the way.  

Well, now that I’ve talked up how the pre-merge of Marquesas kind of torpedoes a lot of the good of the season, let’s make a change as far away from the pre-merge as possible!  When I say we’re making a change near the end of the season, I mean the VERY end of the season.  We’re going back to most of the way through the finale, at the Final 3 Immunity Challenge.  Those of you who have seen the season will recall the dominance that was and is Kathy.  She was the audience favorite, and also the favorite to win the challenge, having won several immunities and rewards by this point.  Not that Vecepia and Neleh weren’t good competitors, but Kathy was just in another league.  However, as Kathy herself put it, she lost her focus for a second, slipped, and fell out of the challenge.  At that point, Vecepia made the obvious play and made a deal with Neleh to step down, since neither one of them wanted to take Kathy to the end at that point.  Why waste the time, after all?  A perfectly logical and rational decision, but one that eliminates the last exciting person left from a television viewer perspective.  

So, for our change, let’s let Kathy keep her focus.  Let’s let her keep her head in the game, and not make the slip-up which cost her immunity and the game as a whole.  What happens in the timeline where Kathy stays 100% focussed on the challenge at hand 100% of the time?

THE FALLOUT

Kathy wins.  Yeah, shocker, I know.  Real hot take from the guy who’s been gone for six months.  It take you that long to think through that complex scenario, genius?  

But seriously, whether you’re talking about the challenge or the game, Kathy keeping her focus in that final immunity challenge wins her everything.  She was the favorite to win the challenge for a reason, and I’m not one to go against the odds.  Who she takes to the end almost doesn’t matter, since I’m pretty sure she wins either way.  That said, it’s still my duty to make a guess.  I couldn’t find any evidence that Kathy has ever said who she would have taken had she won, but my guess would be that she takes Neleh.  The pair were always on the same tribe from the beginning, Kathy played a big part in Neleh and Paschal flipping on the Rotu 4, and Kathy would have voted out Vecepia at Final 4 had she not won immunity.  True, Kathy did have a deal with Vecepia as a result of that Final 4 challenge, but I don’t see that overriding a 38 day bond with Neleh.  

As I say, the discussion is ultimately kind of pointless, since Kathy wins either way, but I’ll be going forward as though it’s her versus Neleh.  Kathy definitely wins the votes of all the Rotu 4 in this scenario (while Zoe did vote for Neleh in our timeline, I feel like she ultimately got along with Kathy best of all the remaining finalists), and possibly gets more.  Paschal is the only one she definitively loses, as there’s no way Paschal doesn’t vote for Neleh.  Sean and Vecepia are the only ones I have difficulty figuring out.  They’re both probably not happy at Kathy voting them out, but also have no respect for Neleh.  I’m inclined to say they vote for Kathy, since Neleh seemed to annoy them on a more personal level, but they could go either way.  All it changes is Kathy’s margin of victory though, not the victory itself.  

THE LEGACY

In a bit of a reversal, I’m going to talk a bit about the trends this change to the timeline causes to later seasons first, rather than how it changes the makeup of returnee seasons down the line.  Specifically, I’d like to talk about what the absence of Vecepia’s win means to the timeline going forward.  Say what you will about her as a character, but Vecepia was both a good strategist and important for “Survivor” as a whole.  Around this time, you started to get people noticing that POC’s in general, and African-Americans in particular, were not making the final rounds of the show.  They weren’t even making it that close.  Vecepia making the finals here is a big deal, but now that she doesn’t win, the controversy remains.  Recall that during the “Early Show” segments for this seasons, one of the hosts would regularly joke about the need for “Black ‘Survivor’” for African-Americans to have any chance of winning.  Vecepia’s win shut up that sort of talk, but without it, now that talk persists.  This both means that discussions about the success and portrayal of POC’s on the show probably comes up much earlier in the show’s history, possibly even leading to a Cook Islands “Divide the tribes by race” twist earlier in the timeline.  It also means that Earl’s win on “Survivor Fiji” becomes a much bigger deal, as he becomes the first African-American to ever win in the show’s history.  This means that, with Kathy winning Marquesas, Earl definitely gets brought back sooner rather than later.  I suspect he probably comes back for “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” as a Hero, probably taking Tom Westman’s spot.  He sadly still has to miss “Winners at War”, as I doubt his real-life obligations change as a result of this, but he probably gets brought back one more time after Heroes vs. Villains at least.  

Of course, Kathy is a big deal even in our timeline.  She was voted “Most Popular Contestant Ever” around the end of the season in our timeline, which is probably somewhat due to recency bias, but also because Kathy is just a good character.  But if you thought her zeitgeist was big in our timeline, hoo boy, you can imagine how big it is if she wins.  Kathy is beloved, arguably the most beloved winner ever.  She’s probably the only person who rivals Ethan Zohn in terms of popular winners during the single-digit seasons.  There’s probably a lot of ongoing debate, even to this day, of which of them played the better game.  Think “Team Ethan” and “Team Kathy” t-shirts going around.

Kathy herself is also a hot ticket item who comes back more than once.  There’s her appearance on “All-Stars” to be sure, but I’m sure they want her back for other seasons as well.  It’s tempting to say that she’d also be brought back to “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, but I’m not sure about that.  She’d definitely have to be on the Heroes tribe, but I’m not sure who she can replace.  In terms of archetype, she most closely matches Cirie, and production’s not giving up Cirie’s spot to anyone, even in this timeline.  While it’s then tempting to say she takes Candice’s spot, especially given how controversial Candice’s inclusion was to begin with, but recall that production, for whatever reason, likes to give a lot of its spots over to women who look good in a bikini.  Kathy, for all that she is a lovely person with many great qualities, does not fit this mold, and when you’ve already got Cirie on your tribe, that’s 2/5 of the women on your tribe given over to “non-eye candy”, which I just don’t see production doing.  I DO see them getting a lot of flak for not having Kathy on this season, but I don’t see them changing their minds.  

No, given how popular her son Patrick’s appearance on the show was during the family visit, I would guess that she and Patrick get tapped for “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, though if that falls through I could also see Kathy ending up on “Survivor Game Changers”, probably in Sierra’s spot, since that originally belonged to Natalie Anderson, another female winner that Kathy could easily replace in this timeline.  This probably shakes up the tribes of the season, as again, production won’t want Kathy and Cirie on the same tribe initially.  And of course, there’s no way in this timeline Kathy isn’t brought back for “Survivor Winners at War” as a four-peat.  She probably takes over Amber’s spot.  

But, of course, there’s one big returnee season Kathy impacts that I’ve only barely touched on.  Yes, folks, Kathy’s win definitely has an impact on “Survivor All-Stars”.  Now, on the surface, it might seem like a minimal impact.  After all, Kathy was on that season in our timeline, and her winning doesn’t seem like that would preclude her from appearing again.  It’s not in Kathy’s nature to say “no”.  Yeah, maybe Kathy has a bigger target as a result of winning now, but would it really change the season that much?  

Yes, dear reader.  Yes it would.  Maybe not from a player standpoint, but from a production standpoint.  I don’t think the All-Stars we have in our timeline would be the All-Stars we have in this timeline.  But that is a complicated change.  One that, I think, merits its own write-up.  So, join me in what’s hopefully only a couple weeks this time when we look at “Survivor What-Ifs: All-Stars”!  

In the meantime, though, thank you once again for joining me on this little thought experiment, and sticking with me after a long, unplanned hiatus!  The next blog topic may be reserved, but blogs down the line aren’t.  If there’s a “What If?” scenario you want to read about, I would be happy to write it up if it looks interesting!  Feel free to submit your ideas in the comments below, or anywhere else I’ve linked this blog!  You will be credited if your idea gets used.  Since it’s been a while, a reminder of the ground rules for any idea to be considered for the blog:  

1. One Change Only: This can’t be a whole bunch of things or multiple things going another way to alter the course of a season.  This must be one singular event that alters the season in some way.  Cascade effects, where one change naturally leads to another, are ok, but they have to be natural and logical.  As an example, Shii-Ann not flipping and Chuay Gahn losing the final 10 immunity challenge on “Survivor Thailand” would definitely change things, but those are two independent changes that need to happen, and therefore not appropriate for this blog.  I should also mention that the change has to be an EVENT, not a play style.  Yes, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” probably goes much differently if Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) isn’t an asshole to everyone, but apart from that never happening, it’s a change in overall play style, not a single moment.  It’s also, as I say, implausible, which leads to my next ground rule…

2. The Change Must Be Realistic: An unlikely change is ok, but it has to be something that COULD have happened, or it’s not worth writing about.  Yes, Fang winning the first immunity challenge on “Survivor Gabon” would drastically change the season.  Would it ever happen?  No.  So there’s no point in writing about it.  

3. The Change Must Have An Impact: By this, I mean the change has to actually alter the season in some significant way.  Simply changing up the boot order is not enough.  Someone new has to win, the perception of the season has to change, or both.  As an example, I originally planned to do a blog on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, with a timeline where Candice didn’t flip at the final 9.  I thought this could lead to a Heroes victory.  Then I remembered that Russell Hantz plays his idol in that same episode, meaning the flip most likely doesn’t matter, and apart from a slight boot order change, the season as a whole remains untouched.  Uninteresting, and therefore not worth talking about.  

In addition to these hard-and-fast rules, there are two what I call “Flexible Rules”.  As the name would imply, these rules can be bent with a compelling arguments, but they are two things that should be borne in mind when suggesting new situations to examine:

4. US Seasons Only: This is nothing against international seasons of “Survivor”.  From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, they can be quite good.  The trouble is, as a citizen on the US, the US version of “Survivor” is the one I’m most familiar with, know the most about, and have seen the most of.  I haven’t even seen a full international season of “Survivor”, just the occasional clip.  Nothing knocking them, of course.  I just haven’t gotten around to viewing them.  So, while I won’t outright ban the suggesting of changes from non-US seasons of “Survivor”, bear in mind that I’m unlikely to pick them due to a lack of knowledge and lack of time to catch up on the seasons.  

5. I Will Not Do Brandon Flipping At The Africa Final 9: A flip by Brandon Quinton at the Final 9 of “Survivor Africa”, voting out Lex instead of Kelly, would indeed fit all the criteria mentioned above.  I’m refusing this particular scenario, not because it isn’t interesting or worth talking about, but because it was already covered by Mario Lanza in his book “When it Was Worth Playing For”.  He covered it so well and so thoroughly that I don’t think I would have anything to add.  I’m willing to consider this scenario if someone can give me a compelling reason that Mario is wrong, or there’s some aspect he didn’t consider, but until that time, this scenario is out.  Other “Survivor Africa” scenarios are ok, though.

Again, I cannot thank you all enough for sticking with this blog through an annoyingly long hiatus, and I look forward to your feedback and thoughts in the future!  

-Matt

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Ghost Island” Episode 7: Everybody Knew

HALLELUJAH! PRAISE JESUS! A savior has been found! A savior to deliver us from the greatest evil in the game of “Survivor”! Oh, not entitlement or reading the room completely wrong! No, no, the greatest evil in “Survivor” is horrible rap that no one acknowledges is horrible. But now, our lord and savior Wendell has brought us salvation! Praise be!

Ok, ok, enough with the gushing. Time for a “Survivor” history lesson: Back in the day, believe it or not, the merge was a big deal. The exact date it would happen was kept a secret, and the tribes were brought together in varied and unexpected ways. Unfortunately, the producers preyed on the apathy of the viewing audience, and so now all we get is people by boats arriving at camp. Hell, we’ve even dispensed with tree mail at this point. No foreshadowing, just opening on people on boats heading to the new camp. Hell, we don’t even get much in the way of pre-merge confessionals, mostly just Kellyn being happy that she gets to show off her social prowess, and Mike being happy at his new lease on life. I guess I can see the argument that one’s time can be better spent on other aspects of the episode, but it does make the whole thing lose some of its grandeur.

Evidently whoever’s voted out last before the merge gets to pick the merge camp, as everyone is moving to Naviti’s old beach. Domenick is of course happy to see Wendell, but his hackles go up at the sight of Chris. Did I mention that Domenick and Chris don’t like each other? Yes? I just wanted to make sure. It was pretty easy to miss. I mean, they only mentioned it EVERY GODDAMN EPISODE! Seriously, if that storyline hadn’t come to an end this episode, I would have been incredibly pissed off.

The contestants are told to go to the other side of the island for a surprise. I’m guessing the tree mails at the camps indicated that this was a merge, as the note for the feast does not use the term “merge”, yet everyone seems to feel it’s a merge. Mike takes this time to comment on wanting to be the “Youngest Player Ever”. I’m guessing he actually means “Youngest Winner Ever”, since while he is 18, there was no press hype about Mike being younger than Will Wahl. You remember Will Wahl? He was the guy who couldn’t drink alcohol on “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”.

Sure enough, it’s a merge, with black buffs for everyone. And thus begins the speechifying, mainly by Domenick, trying to extend an olive branch of unity to the tribe, while still harboring some resentment towards Chris. Not to be outdone, Chris also starts speechifying on a similar topic, before devolving into “rappifying”. And I’ll give him credit, it’s better than his first attempt at rapping, though this is less due to his technique, and more due to the fact that he doesn’t misuse the phrase “diamond in the rough”.

Kellyn, prior to the feast, had made a comment about deciding where to sit socially. I, for one, would have been inclined to decide where to sit based on where an advantage is most likely hidden. Come on, with a setup this typical, there’s no way that the producers wouldn’t hide an idol or advantage, or a clue to one of these, in that feast. Inevitably, they do so, and Chris is our big winner this time. It seems that production thought the Chris/Domenick/Wendell battle was too one-sided in terms of advantages, and so throw Chris a bone. He’s told to go to tree mail, where he finds a note that says a boat will take him to Ghost Island tonight if he can sneak out of camp, and that he can find an idol there. This is an idol twist I can get behind. Apart from changing things up from you basic idol hunt or Ghost Island game that we’ve become accustomed to, it’s a much more high-risk way to get the idol than we’ve seen. We had something similar on “Survivor Cambodia”, but there, Jeremy didn’t have to hike too far from camp. He could leave without arousing suspicion. Here, Chris is likely to be gone for much longer, thus increasing the risk. Plus, and idol hunt amongst “Survivor” lore? Chris will doubtless have to use his in-depth knowledge of “Survivor” to find the correct thing that is an idol amongst a bunch of other, powerless idols, and this in no way is a setup for profound disappointment from this “Survivor” fan.

As has been demonstrated many times in the past, however, good old-fashioned social maneuvering can sometimes overcome advantages. Wendell, being the sensible one caught in this conflict, decides to try and bridge the gap between Chris and Domenick. After all, while the original Naviti enjoys an 8-5 majority over the original Malolo, infighting can make that majority go away quickly. Working together, even temporarily, can make the infighting much safer. So Wendell gets the pair of them to sit down. Domenick, putting on his diplomat hat, makes the offer to Chris to work together, at least for one vote, to avoid an original Malolo comeback. Chris takes this generous offer, and considers what to do with it. He could say “Yes”, even if he doesn’t trust it, in the hope that Domenick and Wendell will then not gun for him, and if nothing else, he’s no worse off. Instead, Chris goes full Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Cook Islands”) by taking this generous offer, shoving it back in the faces of those that made it, and giving them the proverbial finger just for good measure. Ok, even as someone hoping for the success of Domenick’s side, due to it including Wendell, I’m not a huge fan of Domenick. The guy really started this whole petty conflict when he could have just let it go at several opportunities, and digs himself into more holes than he needs to. Chris, despite a certain amount of arrogance, is at least not the primary aggressor in this conflict. But here? There’s no downside to Chris saying yes, even if he doesn’t mean it. It possibly helps get a target off of your back, and gives you more options down the road. And yet Chris says no? At this point he deserves to lose, even if just for the stupidity.

Oh, and just to add to the “Chris is a moron.” counter? He mispronounces “suave”. Ok, “beneficiary” I can kind of understand, at least that was a polysyllable, but “suave”. How did you even mess that up?

Night falls, meaning it’s time for Chris to make like Kelley Wentworth (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”), and be “Sneaky, Sneaky” and get out of camp. This he does, and is whisked off to Ghost Island, lit up in flame. All right, now THIS is where Ghost Island can be ominous in its full effect! Creepy shots of idols! Creepy shots of snuffers! A mad hunt as Chris walks up the stairs and finds the idol sitting out on a table just waiting for him. Wait, what?

Yeah, I must admit, I’m disappointed. Ghost Island, being so full of “Survivor” relics, would have been a fantastic location for a proverbial Easter Egg hunt, and I was excited to see what they do with it. Having the idol literally served up to Chris on a platter is a big letdown.

Thankfully, the show does make up for it somewhat. Chris has specifically found JT’s idol from “Survivor Game Changers”, aka an idol that was so badly misplayed that it loses power, and is only good at the upcoming Tribal Council. Not that this should matter much to Chris, since really this upcoming Tribal Council, with the merge having happened and physical threats now the major targets, there’s really no reason he shouldn’t play it at this upcoming Tribal Council, and thus it still fulfills its purpose to Chris.

Fortunately for the viewer, it doesn’t stop there, as Ghost Island has updated its game slightly. Chris can add to the number of Tribal Councils the idol can be used at by playing the 50/50 guessing game we’ve seen so far. However, there are now five rounds, with each consecutive win increasing the number of Tribal Councils the idol can be played at. Of course, the whole “Lost Vote” thing still applies. A bit of a debate for Chris, but on the whole, I’d say the smartest move is not to play. True, if Chris IS in the majority, it’s a solid one where his lack of a vote won’t really matter. However, with alliances so up in the air, it’s a risk, and one that Chris doesn’t really need to take. As I said earlier, there’s no reason Chris SHOULDN’T play this idol at the first available opportunity, and thus no reason to take the risk. It’s a decently large risk for a fairly small reward. Odds like that get Chris Noble’s blood a-pounding, and so he plays. To his credit, he does manage to win the first guess, gaining him TWO Tribal Councils to use the idol. Gambler’s fallacy does Chris in, though, as he switches sides for the second guess, and finds a “No Vote” parchment, thus screwing him potentially and assuaging everyone’s fear that the show was just bluffing about the “No Vote” thing.

We head back to the newly christened Lavita Tribe (whose name is neither good nor bad enough to comment on beyond this moment). What we have left before our immunity challenge is really just more of Chris and Domenick bickering. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before, and with one exception, none of it bears analysis. However, I will first applaud the editing here, as they show Domenick complaining about Chris’ arrogance, only to interrupt it with Chris comparing himself to Dwayne Wade. They even made it look like Domenick was somehow sitting in on Chris’ confessional. Priceless.

Somewhat more interesting is how this all turns to strategy. Since the old Malolo will likely be the swing votes here, Wendell sets out to court Libby and Jenna, evidently because Domenick would do more harm than good in this scenario. Wendell gives a good pitch, and Libby and Jenna consider it. However, while Jenna’s dislike of Chris is known, and Chris may be strong in the challenges, Libby makes the good point that Chris is kind of bad at the whole “lying” thing, and thus might be better to work with. A fair point. So fair, in fact, that I’ll call it here and say that it would be much better for the original Malolo to side with Chris in this scenario. Don’t get me wrong, Chris isn’t quite as much of a moron at strategy as these ladies make him out to be, but he’s still pretty bad. Add onto that the fact that, if the old Malolo can exploit this fracture, their only real threat is a bunch of advantages, then Chris is far and away the smart move. Chris has one idol that works at two Tribal Councils. Between them, Wendell and Domenick have two idols that can work at any time, plus a legacy advantage. Much more threatening.

As is standard at this point, our first individual challenge is an endurance one. Contestants will hold a pole over their head horizontally, with a totem balanced on one end, while standing on an increasingly smaller balance beam. Last one standing with their idol wins. I applaud the show for trying something new (again, wish they’d do that with the MERGE), but this challenge just falls flat. Like me, you may think that the players look like they’re holding boom mikes. That’s because this challenge was inspired by the people on the crew who hold the boom mikes. The trouble is, it kind of breaks the illusion of this being “reality” if you’re drawing from television culture rather than local culture. That doesn’t make this the worst first individual immunity challenge, and I don’t want to squash the creativity of the crew, but I expect better.

This challenge also gives us our first look at the new individual immunity idol, which I have mixed feelings on. On the one had, it does a lot that’s different from your usual idol. The centerpiece of the necklace, which usually points away from the neck, is now angled towards the neck of the wearer, giving this idol a distinctive silhouette. Plus, they’ve managed to recreate the season logo (at least the shadow part) on the idol which is wicked cool. That said, something about this idol just feels off to me. I don’t know, maybe it’s just too big, but despite the cool features previously listed, it just doesn’t sit right with me somehow.

One would expect an endurance challenge involving balance to come down to the ladies, and indeed it does, with Kellyn and Libby duking it out for the win. This creates an interesting dichotomy in what could happen. Kellyn is not really a target here, but Libby’s name was thrown around as a possible target should things go Naviti strong. Granted, nothing’s given us any indication that the vote would go for anyone but Chris or Domenick, but still. It’s a winner of no consequence versus a winner of possible consequence. The winner of no consequence wins out, as Kellyn takes the victory. Good for her.

Chris is the one to strike first back at camp, pulling in literally everyone back at camp save Wendell and Domenick on a trip to the well to discuss splitting the vote between the pair, so as to flush out the idol. To Chris’ credit, he does make a good pitch. An idol’s a threat, and it gives Domenick and Wendell a good amount of power that virtually no one else has. Plus, splitting the vote is a great way for Chris to hide his “No Vote” without looking suspicious. The problem here is that Chris is about as subtle as a Mack Truck (copyright Malcolm Freberg, “Survivor Philippines”), and everyone, including Wendell and Domenick, notice. Apart from alienating some people by Chris seeming to think they’re that stupid, this gives Wendell and Domenick time to confer. Wendell tells Domenick about his idol, which given the situation, I can’t hate. From the outside, things look pretty desperate for the pair, and the more information they have about what’s going on, the better to plot their move. The pair again pitch their plan to the others, but we don’t really get any word on how people feel about it. Frankly, it’s chaos back at camp, so much so that LIBBY’S name comes up just for simplicity. Seriously. The original Naviti women (Kellyn, Angela, Desi, and Chelsea) all say that voting for Libby might be the best strategy for now. An idea that seems ludicrous at first, as four is hard to make a majority out of 12, but between the split vote and idols it could happen.

Despite the confusion, things become clear when Domenick, Wendell, and Chris all talk about playing their idols tonight. This will effectively be a lesser version of Advantagegeddon. Domenick will rightly play his idol, which will lead Chris to play HIS idol just to be safe, which will lead Wendell to play HIS idol just to be safe, which will leave Libby in the crosshairs. Not quite as bad as Advantagegeddon, since it doesn’t make for an elimination by default, but still out there. I wouldn’t fault any of these guys for playing their idol. Given what we’ve seen between Domenick and Chris, it’s the smart move for both of them, and since the vote is likely to be split, both of them playing idols makes it smart for Wendell to play his idol.

As you’d expect, Tribal Council is an over-the-top fun debate between Domenick and Chris about who started what and when. We get some more attempts at diplomacy from Wendell, and color commentary from Libby about how good this is for the original Malolo, but frankly it’s SO crazy it all blends together. Thankfully, it’s an enjoyable crazy, since Chris and Domenick don’t seem to ACTUALLY hate each other, and are more in-game rivals than actually feuding. This means that we get good mystery at Tribal Council, rather than annoying blustering.

But, of course, the real highlight is the voting confessionals for this episode. We see three, and of those, only Chris’ falls flat. For the good ones, Domenick starts us off, following in the grand tradition of yelling your vote for all to hear, goes off on Chris yet again. An entertaining move, but not a smart one. Do you WANT the guy you’re trying to blindside to know your vote? Granted, Domenick doesn’t know about Chris’s idol, but still, seems like an unnecessary risk. The real highlight, as mentioned at the top of the blog, is Wendell. The normally calm and collected peacemaker starts off simple enough. He praises Chris’ strength, but then rightly gives him some criticism on being entitled and socially unaware. Had it stopped here, there’d really be no need to comment on it. Some justified criticism explaining a vote from someone whose vote we already knew. But then, Wendell goes off. We see his dark side. It seems that what gets under Wendell’s skin is what gets under all our skins. Poor quality rapping. And seriously, Wendell just goes OFF on the guy. He starts off with a harsh “Your rapping sucks. You suck at rapping.” But then it just keeps going. And going. And going! And it turns into a thirty-second diatribe against Chris’ rapping. You can’t write this stuff! Comedy gold! While I find “Survivor” funny, rarely does it make me laugh audibly. Yet I was busting my gut over this. One of the most entertaining things I’ve seen from this show for quite a while!

Now onto the playing of idols/advantages. After a decently long suspense-building pause, Domenick breaks first. He’s been wearing his fake idol around his neck pretty much all Tribal, but wisely decides to play his Legacy Advantage instead, which is a wise move. As I’ve said, Domenick needs to protect himself, and it’s better to use the thing that’s time-limited than the thing that can be used at any time. This, of course, leads to a cascade where Chris, and then Wendell, play their idols…

Wait, why is Jeff reading the votes?

Ok, I’ll admit it, they got me. This episode was pretty good about keeping things mysterious, but I was CONVINCED we’d get a triple idol play. It made sense both narratively and strategically. These guys have cajones of steel for not doing anything.

Of course, in Chris’ case, he SHOULD have done something. Maybe his brain is steel as well. I think I’ve made clear that his is the wrong move strategically for everyone but Domenick and Wendell (and, if the next episode preview is to be believed, it has a downside even for them), but as a viewer, I’m ELATED! Chris, while definitely a three-dimensional character, was still on the whole arrogant, condescending, and taking up too much time with the pointless feud. Now we can get on with the narrative. This felt like just the right amount of time for this feud to brew, and now we get a satisfying conclusion. Good job, show.

Oh, and Chris can’t rap. That’s another good reason to vote him out.

Interesting factoid: Chris now gets to join an elite group of players who exited the game without ever ONCE getting to cast a legitimate vote themselves. Surprisingly he is not the first, but he joins a small group nonetheless. His only companions in this area are Wanda Shirk and Jonathan Libby of “Survivor Palau”, Gary Stritesky of “Survivor Fiji”, Kourtney Moon of “Survivor One World”, Dana Lambert of “Survivor Philippines”, and Caleb Reynolds of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. And of these people, Chris is the only one attend Tribal Council (no, the schoolyard pick on “Survivor Palau” doesn’t count). Plus, for all you Chris fans out there, he gets to be on the jury, so don’t feel too sad for him.

Now, why do I say this move could be bad for Domenick and Wendell? Well, while Chris was a big threat to them, he was an annoyance and a distraction. Now, who are the biggest threats left in the game? Why, Domenick and Wendell of course! Granted, Wendell’s good socially, and both have idols, so they’re hardly in the worst shape ever, but I’m concerned for them next episode. Still, I’ve seen people come out of worse scrapes, so I’m not counting them out just yet.

But we’re talking about this episode, and while I was concerned for a bit, it ended up great! Things at the merge seemed fine enough, but very standard and even confusing at times. That Tribal Council redeems the whole thing, though. Exciting, mysterious, and an engaging climax! Who could ask for more? Well, you could ask for a…

TOP 5 AND… TOP 5?

Yes, it’s time once again for a list at the merge. Given my love for Wendell’s voting confessional, that means it’s doubtless time to talk about the best voting confessionals of all time. Since this list doesn’t lend itself well to the “Worst” ones, since it would just be me saying “they’re boring” over and over again, I’ll make this effectively a top ten. This category is pretty self-explanatory, so the only rule worth mentioning is that the limit is one per season. Apart from that, let’s get started!

10. “The ‘Outwit’ Part” (“Survivor Guatemala”): If I were doing “Honorable Mentions” on this list, this confessional would go there, but I’m not, so I’ll settle for putting it on the bottom. Brian Corridan was one of the wittier people on “Survivor Guatemala”, so it’s no surprise that his voting confessionals tended to be good as well. People may remember his “Golden Boy” vote a bit better, and I NEARLY put it on the list, but it seemed a bit forced to me. Brian, the self-proclaimed smart person of the season, saying to Bobby Jon, condescendingly “This would be the ‘Outwit’ part of ‘Outwit, Outplay, Outlast’” is more spontaneous and subsequently more funny to me. The problem? Despite Brian’s boasting, Bobby Jon wins out, since Brian goes home. Vastly detracts from the confessional, but funny nonetheless.

9. “You have made my life HELL!” (“Survivor Gabon”): There’s something inherently funny about people taking the “secret” vote and throwing the idea out the window. Crystal Cox’s vote for Randy Bailey does just that, and is funny enough to earn a spot on this list. That said, it DOES come across as fairly mean-spirited, and so I can’t give it too high a spot, but it’s too funny not to include here.

8. “Dragon Slayed” (“Survivor Tocantins”): Sometimes, simple is better. I’m in the camp that Coach’s whole “Dragonslayer” thing was forced and went on too long to really be entertaining. Still, if it had to last, this was a satisfying conclusion. Erinn Lobdell, someone looked down upon by the titular Coach, delivers the greatest comeback to the whole thing as she enacts her final vengeance. Granted, I’m not a huge fan of Erinn either, so this one doesn’t do it for me quite like it does for some other people, but like I say, it’s still quite good. Sometimes, the simple things in life are the best.

7. “This vote is a total bummer, dude.” (“Survivor Cagayan”): In keeping with the theme of “confessionals from people I’m not a huge fan of.”, we have a gem from Spencer of “Survivor Cagayan”. While I did fine Spencer enjoyable for humor, it was mostly humor directed at him rather than humor from him. What can I say, it’s funny to see a guy try and fail time and again. But credit where credit is due, Spencer did make me laugh at his vote-out with his impression of Woo. This is kind of an odd choice, since it has elements I said I didn’t like from previous entries. Specifically, it’s an unsuccessful, mean-spirited vote. What saves it is that I don’t feel like Spencer really thought he would be spared this vote, and so just wanted to go all out, and despite how mean it is, the impression is spot on. Plus, it adds to my theory that Spencer might have voted for Kass in the end had she been up against Woo, so there’s that.

6. “DENISE.” (“Survivor Philippines”): Like I said before, loud is good. Few people get louder than Jonathan Penner, and he even went so far as to turn around to make sure it was heard. Penner’s usually good for a laugh, and this time is no exception. Short, sweet, and incredibly funny.

5. “You can’t rap.” (“Survivor Ghost Island”): Need I say more about Wendell’s incredible voting confessional? While funny, it doesn’t quite measure up to the gems of yore in my opinion, but still comes pretty close. What it might lack in intensity in some places it makes up for in length. When you think it’s done, it just keeps going. And going. And going. And…

4. “You’ll still give me the money.” (“Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”): What list of quips would be complete without the great Sandra Diaz-Twine weighing in? In my opinion, this is the greatest Sandra badass moment there is. Rupert, having stupidly rejected an alliance with her, is voted out for his troubles. Sandra, to rub it in, notes that Rupert will vote for her regardless. Badass enough, but what makes it funny is that it comes to pass exactly as she says. Rupert realizes his mistake, and pays for it by voting for Sandra. That, my friends, is karma.

3. “You can always beat ‘em with these.” (“Survivor Micronesia”): Frankly, any confessional from the Erik Reichenbach boot would have worked, and if I didn’t have the one-per-season limit, Parvati’s would definitely be on here. As it stands, though, I have to give Cirie the edge for out-badassing Sandra. Cirie’s “Momma always said you can’t beat ‘em with these all the time, but you can always beat ‘em with these.” while first pointing to her muscles and then her brain was a good summation of Cirie’s character, and a badass callout. And bear in mind, these are compliments from someone who’s NOT a fan of Cirie, so that tells you how good it was, that it could break through the veneer of a non-fan.

2. “Checkmate, bruh!” (“Survivor Marquesas”): This confessional right here is why I say Sean Rector is funnier than Boston Rob. John Carroll’s downfall was a satisfying one, but this was just the cherry on top. Sean cockily (but not with bad sportsmanship) declaring his victory of John, while making references to both Vegas and Chicken and Waffles in one bizarre yet fascinating confessional. What could top it?

1. Casey Kasem (“Survivor The Amazon”): Kind of a cliche one to pick, but it’s a fan favorite for a reason. Rob Cesternino doing a spot on impression of a disc jockey to dis Roger Sexton on his way out is that one-of-a-kind comedy (and the rare non-sex-based comedy of this season), that will likely never be repeated. Mostly because of copyright reasons, but also because of Rob’s nearly unparalleled impression skills. He well earns the number one spot on this list.

Hoo, and there you have it. See you next week! May Chris’ rapping soon be forgotten!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor MGX” Episode 10: The Perils of Victory

Tonight, I give you a shocking revelation: I don’t like the theme of “Millennials vs. Gen-X”. It’s contrived, unnecessary, and shoehorned in, making potentially likable cast members nearly unbearable with all the “My generation is better!” talk. Hell, I can’t even find it within myself to type out the full title in my blogs. Bottom line, this theme leads to a lot of annoying confessionals about the relative merits of one’s generation that do not need to be there, and trust me, there’s plenty of those tonight. But, I will give the theme one bit of credit: Where it works is when it shows that these supposedly “disparate” groups are, in fact, not so different. Oh, I’m not talking about the coming out conversation between Zeke and Bret, although that was nice. No, I’m talking more about the first half of our forced 2-hour episode, wherein the “Gen-X Civil War” as it has been dubbed kicks in. Chris, Sunday, and Bret go against David, Jessica, and Ken. Why does this make for a similarity? Well, think for a second. It’s now been four solid votes of old Millennials going home. Figgy, Michaela, Michelle, and Taylor, one right after the other. At this point, for the first time in the game, the old Gen-X was in the majority. And they just couldn’t handle it. Too many episodes of not playing the game (relatively speaking, as there was gameplay, but not so much internal intrigue) made them eager to turn on their own. Pretty much exactly what happened to the Millennials come the swap. True, the Millennials had the Mari vote to help tide them over, but they were pretty clearly dominating at this point, and they couldn’t handle it. It’s an inevitable fact of “Survivor”, particularly modern “Survivor”, that a lack of patience can kill. A tribe that wins too much early on can doom themselves later on by not being able to keep infighting to a minimum. That’s what’s truly remarkable about the Koror Tribe from “Survivor Palau”. Winning the vast majority of the challenges is one thing, but that they were able to do so and still stay relatively united is the true master stroke.

But here I am, putting the big reveal before the buildup. In fact, I think we need a bit more of a buildup before the blog itself, so let’s have another rendition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Much like tonight’s episode, we have a double-feature for you. First up is something I forgot to mention entirely last episode: Jay and the idol. Now, Jay ultimately doesn’t play his idol, but he did agonize about what to do with it. If he showed it off or played it, it might save him for a vote, but makes him vulnerable down the line. If he didn’t play it, he risked going home. Due to all the excitement at Tribal Council, I neglected this point, and it is really a tough decision. Really, Jay’s only move is to bring the idol to Tribal Council and play it by ear. I know I’m always the first to advocate for making decisions BEFORE Tribal Council, but as there’s a real chance Jay isn’t going home here, it really needs to be mulled over based on Tribal Council performance. Jay’s choice only becomes clear when Taylor makes such an ass of himself at Tribal Council that there’s no way Jay goes home. As such, the correct move is to not play the idol and hope for the best. Which is what Jay does. Kudos.

Out other point is actually a REAL mess-up, rather than just something I forgot entirely. I made a crack about the “eat or compete” twist being dropped after “Survivor Redemption Island”, but, in fact, it WAS used after that. “Survivor Blood vs. Water” was actually the most recent use of it before this season. My point about it being a while still stands, but it’s not quite as extreme as I made it out to be. Plus, it strengthens my point that a lot of “Survivor Blood vs. Water” blends together.

On to the episode proper, Adam starts out doing decent damage control, offering an apology for not telling people about his reward steal, and offering an explanation as to why. It seems heartfelt, and Adam doesn’t make a big deal out of it. Really, though, his saving grace is Bret, who turns the conversation back around to just how much of a jerk Taylor was for stealing food. I will give Adam this”: while I still think his overall chances of winning are shot, he has managed to mostly dig himself out of the hole he got into. No one really seems to be holding a grudge about his reward steal lie, or his being somewhat in on the food-stealing, and now that he’s not blatantly playing both sides, no one seems to be bothering him much. If Adam wants any chance at winning, this is the sort of break he needs. Adam also takes this time to talk about how badly he wants Jay gone, naturally ensuring that Jay is safe this episode.

Jay, meanwhile, is still not happy, big surprise. Despite Jay going all-in with Taylor on throwing Adam under the bus, Jay is now trying to rewrite history saying that he was against the idea, due to Taylor throwing him under the bus as well. Showing some more social adeptness, Jay leads people to the new food burial site, and what’s left is recovered. Hay’s still down, but he’s doing the right thing and keeping his head down, hoping the superpowers will eat themselves.

Sure enough, the next morning shows some real cracks here. It starts with Will finally realizing that allying himself with idiots MAY not be the best idea in the long run. I would use the “Rat from a sinking ship” metaphor here, but Will beats me to it. He full on partners up with Zeke, apologizing for voting Jay, pleading ignorance, and offering up information. Unfortunately for Jay, trusting Will with his idol is now backfiring, as that information is now leaking out. This does build trust between the pair, and as Jay is clearly not a power player anymore, I can’t really fault Will this move.

Will’s one caveat is that this information stay between himself and Zeke. Naturally, the very next scene is everyone else on the island finding out about Jay’s idol. While this does seem like a breach of trust, frankly, it’s the smart move. As Zeke points out, the more people know about an idol, the less powerful it becomes, due to it being easily countered. This also sets in motion the aforementioned “Gen-X Civil War”. Chris now wants to get Jessica out, due to her being a strategic threat. “But wait,” you ask, “Wasn’t that Sunday’s plan from last episode?”. Yes, but because Chris is suggesting it, now it will actually happen. Sad to say, but even though Sunday clearly has things going for her, she’s ultimately not the dominant power in the alliance. Sadly, that seems to be the case for MOST of the strategic women this season. Sunday, Jessica, Michelle, even Michaela to a certain extent. All have good ideas, some of which even get adopted, but ultimately, they’re at the mercy of the whims of the guys. Part of that has to do with the insanely lopsided guy-girl ratio at this point, but it’s still sad to see that we don’t get the rise of the awesome female strategist.

Morning also gives us more of a look into Hannah trying to be a better player, as she starts building more in-roads with her peripheral allies. Specifically, she enjoys watching a good sunrise with Ken, while enjoying idle chit-chat about beauty. And, if it was all strategic, I’d say Hannah was playing really well here, slowly building trust and relying on emotional bonds for later on. Unfortunately, Hannah has to go and ruin it by admitting that she has some romantic attraction to Ken. So instead, I can only say: “EWW!” I mean, Ken’s good looking and all, and certainly looks younger than he is, but the same could be said for Hannah. I mean, it looks like a guy in early middle age hooking up with a college freshman. I say again: “EWW!”

We come to our first of two reward challenges, as well as arguably the weakest challenge of the episode. Divided into teams of 5 (one person sitting out and having no shot at reward), players hop onto a boat that they pull across the water to a platform. Once there, tribe members head up one at a time to untie a key, slide down a pole, and put the key on a ring. Once all five have done this, the keys are used one at a time to unlock boxes, which must then be stacked four high so that they colored sides do not repeat a color on any given side. First tribe to do so wins a pizza yacht party right next to camp, because enough salt hasn’t been rubbed in people’s wounds. This isn’t a terrible challenge, with the pulling of the boat being cool, but it’s ultimately just another obstacle course, and as we see, the puzzle is complex enough that it’s really the only part of the challenge that matters.

Rocks will be drawn to determine who sits out, but before that, David volunteers as tribute. Water, after all, is not his forte, and he doesn’t want to drag either team down. In a rare nice moment on “Survivor”, everyone immediately tells David he’s not as pathetic as he’s shown himself to be, and tells him to buck up. David gets more than a little teary-eyed, and it’s a nice moment. Reminds me a lot of Coby Archa’s teary confessional on “Survivor Palau”, where he was happy to be on a winning team and showing that he could be good at challenges for once. In many ways, this one is even sweeter, with others affirming David’s worth, rather than himself. In a show in a genre where conflict is everything, a bit of over-the-top sentimentality is appreciated every now and again.

And in fairness to David, when the teams ultimately are drawn, I don’t see his presence being that much of a detriment. David ends up on a team with Chris, Will, Jessica, and Ken, while competing against Zeke, Bret, Adam, Hannah, and Sunday. David’s no more of a slouch in the challenge department than Hannah and Sunday are, and this is a challenge where, puzzle aside, big muscles will be key. All the big muscles (save Jay, who doesn’t have a shot at reward) are on David’s team. In fact, they even get out to a nice big lead, setting up David’s arc of proving that he has worth.

Lest anyone ever say that “Survivor” is faked, let this challenge stand in testament to the fact that it is not. You get a beautiful setup with David doubting himself, of COURSE you want him to win the challenge. But no, he and Chris choke on the puzzle, sending the other five on reward. David blames himself, but in the physical portion, he really neither hurt nor helped the tribe. Yeah, the puzzle choke is hard, but that’s at least as much Chris’ fault as David’s. My point is, don’t let yourself get down, man.

Our reward once again gives Bret the chance to get drunk as a skunk, accurately giving us the two sides of Bret. He’s either a fun loving goofball, or he’s an asshole. While the pizza yacht is actually decently far away from camp, Hannah points out that sound travels well over water, and that they ought to keep their celebrating to a minimum. Bret effectively says “screw that noise”, and continues to be somewhat obnoxiously cheery. Nobody really comments on this afterward, so I suppose it did no harm in the long run, but it’s still a mark against Bret.

Then again, everyone’s excitement becomes hard to contain when it turns out this was the secret “letters from home” reward as well, giving everyone a chance to be humanized a bit. We get some tender moments, like Zeke’s dad sending him his dog’s paw print with the letter, but, like Jenna Morasca (“Survivor The Amazon”) before him, the focus goes to Adam, due to the whole “family member with cancer” thing, which yeah, is pretty tragic. Though, strategist that I am, all I can think of is how this edit plays into Adam’s redemption arc. Since the merge, Adam’s been scum of the earth. If he’s not playing both sides, he’s keeping secrets. While it ultimately has very little impact within the game itself, from an editing perspective, Adam needs more scenes like this, and fewer neurotic scenes.

Back at camp, David is still upset, and may go for crying scene number two, especially after talking to Ken. To perk himself up, though, David dives into the “Gen-X Civil War” with a vengeance, reigniting his old feud with Chris, and wishing death upon him. Not really, but that sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? Not sure if David was tipped off beforehand that Chris, Bret, and Sunday were after Jessica, but he’s certainly returning the favor in kind. We see later that Adam is pretty firmly in his corner at this point, but that still only four people, so Hannah and Zeke will be needed to secure victory. As such, David makes it a point to talk to Zeke after the reward, putting Zeke firmly in the middle, as both Chris and David want him. Since Zeke is not Adam, he actually plays the part well, though he does show some preference for the David side by letting on that Jessica is being targeted. As to which side is better for himself and Hannah, it’s a tough call. Frankly, I’m not sure there’s a right or wrong answer here. Either way, you’re ensconcing yourself with one threesome, and pissing off another. Ultimately, the benefits are as follows: Sticking with David, Ken, and Jessica give you more options. True, both threesomes are fairly united, but between Adam’s link with Ken and Jessica and Zeke’s link with David, you’ve got more room to play. Even though Hannah shared a tribe with Bret and Sunday, they’ve never been shown to be particularly close, so the only real connection there is between Zeke and Chris. On the other hand, between David’s idol and the legacy advantage, there’s a lot more gameplay power between David, Ken, and Jessica, making them less desirable allies. Additionally, David, Ken, and Jessica would probably be more inclined to see being blindsided as a strategic move, whereas Chris, Sunday, and Bret would see it personally, given how much they talk about this upcoming Jessica vote as being partly fueled by revenge. As such, it might be better to put those who WON’T hold a personal grudge on the jury. On the whole, though, given the information that they have, I’d say the correct move for Zeke and Hannah is to vote out Chris. They don’t know about the legacy advantage, and they have at least SOME measure of control over when and how David plays his idol, making it less of a threat. Chris, if left unchecked, is a big threat to win the game, and since going against him offers more ways forward in the future, it’s the slightly better deal, though again, I wouldn’t fault either decision too much.

Off to our immunity challenge, which just barely misses out on the “Lamest Challenge of Episode” title only because the totems used look pretty cool. In another endurance challenge, our contestants stand on an increasingly narrow balance beam while using a bamboo pole to balance a totem on a thin board, last one still standing wins. Like I said, just another generic endurance challenge. Not much more to say than that.

Just in case you were worried that Disney was buying up everything you loved and held dear, fear not. “Survivor” is still alive and subverting Disney stereotypes. You see, Ken is one with nature. Being one with nature, he has animal friends. Ants, to be specific. But these animals friends are not so friendly. They cause Ken to lose the challenge, then claim the lives of Bret, Jay, and Adam. Alfred Hitchcock may own this show, but at least it’s not Disney.

Because they just couldn’t leave the underdog story alone, our battle comes down to Zeke and David, and though they do a good job showing both people struggling before David’s inevitable victory. For all my snark, I’ll once again admit that it’s nice to see David win, and that things would have been left dangling if David HADN’T had some sort of challenge victory. Plus, it’s nice to see some delayed gratification here.

Back at the camp, both sides agree to try and fake out Jay to get his idol played before once again gunning for each other. As this is a double-length episode, and we’re mostly hearing more debates about the sides I’ve covered previously, I won’t say too much about it here. Suffice to say that they do keep the mystery good, and this is where we see Adam being pretty firmly on board with David, Ken, and Jessica. Conversations about which side to go with are between Zeke and Hannah, and when approached, Adam goes along with the plan. He laments the target not being Jay, but also realizes that going too hard for Jay may lead to Jay being his proverbial white whale, and ultimately put a target on his back. Why, just look at what happened to Stephen Fishbach on “Survivor Cambodia”. He tried too hard to go for Joe Anglim (“Survivor Worlds Apart”), and he ended up going out because of it.

Apart from the mystery of the vote (which is done really well), the best way to describe this Tribal Council is “fun”. It’s very lighthearted in tone, belying the war and betrayal underneath. It’s actually fun to see this duplicity, and it’ll make a nice contrast for the second Tribal Council of the episode. Not to say that we don’t get any strategy talk. Hints of what’s to come are definitely there, what with talking about taking out big threats and cracks and divisions and all. But let me ask you this: What do you remember the most about this Tribal Council? Hannah coining the term “Trust Clusters” That is adorable, and while fun, the best Tribal Councils don’t get called “adorable”. It does, however, lend itself to easy humor, with the “Trust Clusterfuck” comment we’ll see at the next Tribal Council.

Really, the major misstep of this Tribal Council is that they do a horrible job of hiding that fact that Jay is safe. Talk quickly shifts to the fracturing of alliances, and while Adam’s paranoia and Zeke’s going full Keith Nale (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”) and suggesting sticking to the plan do bring the subject back around to Jay, it’s clear even to Jay that he’s safe. Hence, he does the smart thing and doesn’t play his idol.

As I said before, this votes DOES do a good job of being nice and tense, making for a fun outcome. The smart move is made, and Chris goes home. I must admit, I’m sorry to see him go. I hesitate to say that he was a real character, but I also hesitate to say that he wasn’t. He clearly had potential, but he got shunted to the sidelines in favor of even more colorful characters. He had strategic chops, as shown in confessionals, but he was such a threat that, apart from the Rachel boot, things never really went his way. It’s a shame to see such wasted potential, but at least we can tell there’s potential there. Chris will be missed, and he’s someone I wouldn’t mind seeing on a “Second Chances” ballot in the future.

Heading off to what SHOULD be its own separate episode, we find that, once again, Jay was on the wrong side of the ballot, with himself, Chris, Bret, and Sunday voting for Jessica, while all the others went for Chris. Jay makes a point of congratulating himself in private for not playing his idol while apologizing to Jessica for voting for her. Definitely the right play to make here, and Jessica forgives him, probably because he’s a moron.

More interestingly, Bret is quick to jump ship. He acknowledges that Chris was a threat, and probably needed to go, personal bonds aside. However, Bret is now less interested in a “Chris” thing, and more a “Anybody but David” thing, once again swearing vengeance. Zeke, who is REALLY proving himself to be a master social player this episode, sees opportunity. Put it this way: what we’ve been seeing throughout the last several episodes is that, subtly, Zeke is putting himself in the middle of everything. Everyone likes him, and everyone wants to use him for their plans. This puts Zeke in the kingpin position to win, with his only rival being David. With David’s group fast growing in numbers, Zeke needs to make a move soon, and now that Bret and Sunday have come to his side, he sees an opportunity to take out David. Which makes sense, at least to a certain degree. As I say, David is the only real threat to Zeke winning the game at this phase, but that also means he’s good cover for Zeke. While Zeke has been subtle about his takeover, as we’ll soon see, it’s not as though no one noticed at all. David is the only one REMOTELY taking the target off of Zeke, and as Zeke has no idol to help him regain control after a coup attempt, it’s somewhat in his best interest to keep David around, so he has someone to target other than himself. It’s the same logic as Jeremy keeping Joe around on “Survivor Cambodia” to make sure that the target wasn’t on him. Can’t really fault Zeke’s logic too much, though, and it still wouldn’t be a bad move for him.

Coincidentally, David has ALSO noticed that he’s a threat to Zeke, or at least that Zeke is a threat to him. He talks to Bret and Sunday that morning, and to both of their credits, they do a good job putting up a front, even though they’ve already decided to turn on David. David is willing to be a bit more patient than Zeke, hoping to take out Jay and Will first. I’d say taking out Will before Zeke is a mistake for David, but I’ll actually admit that it’s good that at least SOMEONE is focussed on Jay. The danger with someone like Jay, an athletic moron with an idol, is that, due to not being seen as a strategic threat, one can slip into a “We’ll get him next time.” mentality, and then, with a few timely challenge wins, guess who’s in the finals with nary an enemy to be seen? Jay. It’s sort of the same logic as voting out the young unassuming female: the fact that she isn’t a threat makes her a threat. And no, the irony of someone like Jay being unassuming is not lost on me.

Unfortunately for David, his bid to gain allies backfires a bit, as he reveals his idol secret to Bret, who of course relays that information to Zeke, who relays it to Adam and Hannah, hoping to firmly get them both on his side. Hannah is the one who reacts in this case, admitting that while she has worked with Zeke in the past, he is a threat, and she contemplates cutting him loose and going with David, Jessica, and Ken. Again, happy that Hannah is trying hard to make big moves, but this is one that’s REALLY not in her best interest. As she says, Zeke is her number one ally. Giving that up is a big move. She would go from being the number two in an alliance and controlling the vote to having virtually no control. And while Zeke is a threat, David is a threat as well, and David has an idol. Granted, there’s something to be said for building a resume, and for Hannah to win, Zeke needs to go at some point, but it needs to be when it’s advantageous to her. If she were to go with, presumably, David, Jessica, Ken, and Adam against Zeke, the only real connection she has is with Adam. True, she was building something with Ken earlier, but that’s still a late start for her, up against three other people who’ve had more time to build bonds with him. Conversely, if she sides with, presumably Zeke, Jay, Will, Bret, and Sunday, she’s got at least something of a bond with all of them. Maybe not Will, but Will’s not exactly a power player in that alliance. Bottom line, this is the most cut-and-dried obvious move, so naturally the opposite will happen.

Having evidently saved the leftover “Challenge Awesomeness” from the first half of the episode, we get things poured into this reward challenge that I love. It’s a simple relay race with a snake puzzle at the end, but what makes it cruel is that the contestants hands and feet are bound, so that they have to crawl along like snakes. THAT is what makes for a unique and difficult challenge. I don’t even care that it’s a team challenge post-merge, it’s still awesome! And the reward of a picnic far away via helicopter is nice too.

Evidently deciding they were too mean last episode, the show decides to give the one sit-out (David successfully volunteers as tribute this time) the reward automatically, which I have to roll my eyes at. I know I said some niceness on the show makes for a good change, but this is too much! Come on, guys, make the sit out suffer! Or at least have them bet on a team to win, like on “Survivor Nicaragua”. That was actually a FUN part of that season!

Once again, our physical powerhouses get out to an early lead, but it’s the puzzle-solving team of Bret, Sunday, and Zeke that takes it in the end. Challenge is still cool, but once again, the puzzle kind of breaks things. They go with David on reward, and Adam takes this time to remind us that he has a reward steal advantage. He doesn’t use it, but admits that David having not earned the victory made him want to, which is actually a good point. One inherent disadvantage of the reward steal is that it pisses off the person who won, and by extension, people who might think it’s a dick move. If you steal from someone who didn’t compete, though, a lot of that goes away (as a side note, this also confirms that Adam can’t steal for his team, only for himself individually, taking away some of the power of the advantage), so it might not be a bad place to ditch the advantage. I feel like the gain isn’t big enough, though, so I’m with Adam in not playing it.

On reward, we once again get Happy Bret, mostly because he’s got more beer. He and Zeke have a good bonding moment where Bret comes out to Zeke. It would be entirely sweet, were it not for the shoehorned in “generational values” talk. It doesn’t RUIN things, but it does take the edge off. When Sunday comes back the strategy talk resumes, which is basically just another round of “Get David.”

Once our reward winners arrive back at camp, though, things get more intriguing. Quite out of nowhere, Hannah makes a decision about who to side with, and as I alluded to earlier, it’s the wrong one. She spills the entire plot to David, who, rather than man up and do something about it, moans and groans. It’s HANNAH who has to point out that David’s still in a position to flip the script, and David comes clean about his idol with her. From a viewer’s perspective, I’m happy about this development, as it means we get more intrigue, but again, as a strategy, it’s bad for Hannah to flip on Zeke, for the reasons I outlined earlier.

Not content with merely having the reward challenge be awesome, we get a cool immunity challenge as well. Each person navigates a pole through a table maze, unlocking a door once they solve it. They must then solve a slide puzzle to win immunity. Sounds simple, right? Well, the kicker is that the maze is attached to the other side of the door, meaning that apart from feeling one’s way around, there’s no way to know which way to go beyond trial and error. Simple though it is, there’s something clever about that idea I just can’t help but love.

For once, doing well in the first part of the challenge helps, as Jay blows everyone out of the water. Frankly, he wasn’t going home, so nothing is lost, but I must draw attention to Probst’s commentary. While many decry it as a failing of modern “Survivor”, I find it entertaining more often than not. Still, I will concede where there are times when he goes overboard. Unable to fall back on his usual “Thus and so, in the lead! Thus and so, struggling!” banter, Probst talks about how HE HAS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT! Very meta, but this is one time where more silence might have been better.

Our pre-Tribal Council intrigue for this half blows the first half out of the water. Hannah, it turns out, is about as adept at playing both sides as Adam, and Zeke is quickly clued into the fact that Hannah is no longer with him. We also see the first bit of rust on Zeke, as he slips into some arrogant banter here that doesn’t suit him. Given that David may play his idol, Zeke switches the vote onto Hannah for safekeeping. Hannah actually picks up on this, and begs David to play his idol for her, but David dismisses it as paranoia on her part. Meanwhile, Adam is also feeling lukewarm about siding with David, thinking that Zeke might be the better bet. The irony is that, in the cases of Adam and Hannah, their each thinking of voting the wrong way. Hannah is attracted to David’s alliance, when her best allies are with Zeke, and Adam is attracted to Zeke’s alliance, when all his best allies are with David. Its kind of funny, and it leads to a good misdirect at Tribal Council.

Speaking of which, we get a MUCH better Tribal Council this time around. And by that, I mean chaos. There’s virtually no pretense this time around, and the mood is really negative for some reason. Both sides snipe at each other, with Mean Bret returning once again, claiming that Ken hasn’t really been in the game, and David and Zeke getting into a verbal altercation against each other. The nastiness is a problem, but it does make for more drama, and the fact that everyone is pop corning against each other helps make the barbs less comprehensible. Having Adam and Hannah whispering throughout is hilarious too, and helps build the tension. After all, there’s evidence to suggest the exits of either Hannah or Zeke. Plus, the inevitable “Trust Clusterfuck” joke.

Our clue as to the likely outcome comes when David caves and plays his idol (given how the Tribal Council was going, I’d have played it as well). It seems like he’s playing it for himself, when Adam pipes in. Sadly, he does not say “Hold up, Bro”, but he does make a similar plea. Adam claims he overheard the other alliance switching the vote to Ken, and thus, David plays his idol on Ken. At this point, it’s pretty clear where the episode’s going. Between Adam talking about not being fully on board with voting for Zeke, and suggesting saving a person who we never saw as a target, it’s clear that Adam voted for Hannah, and is just making sure David doesn’t play his idol for her.

At least, that was the LOGICAL explanation I bought into. No, it turns out Adam just made a mistake, as on both this and the revote, he votes for Zeke. Granted, it’s the SMART move for him, but it makes me wonder why Adam basically hurt his own alliance. Bad info, I guess?

Given Adam’s blunder there, I’d expect him to be the one to watch on the revote, but somehow, Jessica is the one Hannah begs to save her. She does, and the pop corning starts all over again as the tribe tries to come to a consensus. Both sides hold firm, and Probst stops the debate before it gets violent, ordering them to go to rocks. I was under the impression that THEY decided when a consensus couldn’t be reached, but given how things were going, I can’t fault Probst’s call here. Incidentally, this is the first time in the history of rock draws (all three of them), where I have to say, I don’t agree with going to rocks. While Bret, Sunday, and Will (the three vulnerable ones from Zeke’s alliance) are allied with Zeke, it’s not the firmest of alliances, and Zeke is a threat. Certainly, they can’t have bonded enough to be worth risking a boot on a rock. On “Survivor Marquesas”, the numbers were low enough that there was little room, and with two immovable pairs, there wasn’t a lot that could be done, and on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, with two threesomes vying for control, there was no other way to gain power than to take a chance. Here, when alliances are still very fluid? Seems like a stupid gamble.

Especially for a tearful Jessica, who is the victim of the rock. It’s really hard not to feel for her, especially as this is the most tears we’ve seen at an eviction since John Carroll (“Survivor Marquesas”) As a fan and strategist, I am sad to see her go. This season’s obsession with shunting female strategists aside, Jessica did have a lot of potential, much like Chris. At the very least, she deserves the dignity of a proper vote-out. She will be missed.

She also, unsurprisingly, wills her legacy advantage to Ken. Time will soon tell what it is.

One problem that can happen with shoving two episodes into one (and why I advocate for double Tribal Councils instead) is that they feel disjointed, and the first half can upstage the second half. If you’re going to do it, though, this episode is the way to do it. Both halves held their own, with things escalating both in intensity and in intrigue, and if you think about it, both episodes were really connected. We started with a debate of who should go: Chris or Jessica. In the end, both of them went, even though Jessica wasn’t a target the second time around. It still bookends nicely, and feels like a natural progression. Both votes, the side in power essentially got bored, and ate itself. Put simply, this was a GREAT episode. And man, if it doesn’t set up drama for next week.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Matt’s Fantasy “Survivor Second Chances 2” Ballot Extravaganza

Greetings and salutations, everyone! I would welcome you back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to, but as the cast of the upcoming “Survivor Kaoh Rong” will not be announced for another couple weeks, this can’t really be called a post for “Idol Speculation”. No, this is the promised off-season content for the shorter break I promised you. Normally this is the sort of thing I’d save for the longer off-season break, since I try not to take too long a vacation from writing, but I’ve got good reason this time. This is going to be a one-off blog, so I don’t see it setting any precedent for the future, and it’s only timely if I do it before next season. You see, while I thoroughly enjoyed “Survivor Cambodia”, there was one nagging problem in the back of my mind that I tried not to let on in the blog proper.

You see, the great thing about this season was that nearly all of my “Survivor” wishes came true at once. People I’d been longing to see back, like Kass and Stephen Fishbach, were finally getting their due. The trouble with this is, well, nearly all my “Survivor” wishes got granted at once. Not all of them, by any means, but the vast majority. However, this gave me little to nothing to look forward to in the future (barring future seasons being good in and of themselves and giving me further people to long to see back, of course), which is a bit depressing. So, I got the idea that perhaps I should draw up a list of the people I’d still like to see back, and this turned me onto the idea you’re reading right now. CBS wants another season where the fans vote in the cast? Why don’t I help them out! Hence, I have here drawn up a “Fantasy Second Chances” ballot. 16 men and 16 women from previous seasons who could, by the rules set for for consideration in the first “Survivor Second Chances” vote, who I’d like to see back in some capacity. I’ll list their name, season, and why I’d like them back/why I like them in general. Apologies if the list isn’t as detailed as you might like, but 32 people is a lot, and in many cases, they speak for themselves.

Before we get into the list itself, a few things to mention. First and foremost, while I followed the guidelines set down previously by CBS (anyone from any season, even pre-merge, but can only have played once, and no winners), this list is what I would like to see, not CBS. While some people may overlap in who CBS wanted and who I wanted, just because they were asked by CBS does not mean that I will consider them. For example, Jon Misch was asked by CBS to return, but didn’t respond in time. I wasn’t a fan of his on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, so I’m not including him here. I did make a few what might be called “producer concessions”, where some people who I normally wouldn’t give too much thought to I put on because they’re the sort of people producers would want back, and I’ll be noting these, but by and large, these are what I’m looking for. Secondly, since Jeff Probst made sure to mention at the Second Chances vote reveal that not getting on this season did not prevent future casting, those who were on the first Second Chances ballot are allowed on here, though again, whether or not I let them back on is purely my discretion. Finally, I did factor in availability and willingness to participate, and excluded people I knew for certain do not or cannot do the show again, so personal favorites of mine such as Rafe Judkins (“Survivor Guatemala”) and Colleen Haskell (“Survivor Borneo”) were not considered due to unavailability and unwillingness to play, respectively. My information on who will and won’t play again is incomplete, so there may be people on this list who break this rule, but I’ll be noting any place where I’m uncertain.

Well, as a gentleman, I should start with the ladies. Therefore, let us look at the 16 women on my “Fantasy Second Chances” Draft…

WOMEN

Teresa “T-Bird” Cooper (“Survivor Africa”): While T-Bird may not have been voted on to “Survivor Cambodia”, she probably was voted “Most disappointed she wasn’t on.” by the fans, and I’m with them. T-Bird played a subtle strategic game on an underrated season, and played from the bottom, which is difficult to do. She got shafted by newer viewers this past time, which is a shame. I’d like to see her come back and do her season justice.

Helen Glover (“Survivor Thailand”): Believe me, I get why people dislike “Survivor Thailand”. There’s a lot of unpleasantness to go around, and there are other seasons with the strengths that this one has. It’s a decent enough one to skip over. However, I think Helen is underrated. She was actually pretty emotionally open, at least compared to her fellow competitors on that season. She had a lot of fun sound-bytes, and was a pretty strong woman, both physically and mentally. I’d like to see her come back, if only to gain her the respect she deserves.

Deena Bennett (“Survivor The Amazon”): Similar to Helen, Deena was a very different type of woman than you normally see on the show. Sharp as a tack, socially aware, and again, a lot of fun to listed to, I almost took either Deena or Helen off this list due to their similarities, but if “Survivor Cambodia” can have both Andrew Savage (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) and Terry Deitz (“Survivor Exile Island”) on it, Second Chances 2 can afford to have two unorthodox women in the ballot.

Christa Hastie (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): Sort of a case of “What might have been?”, Christa seemed to be developing a more cutthroat, strategic side by the end of her first season, and I’d like to see if that’s developed, as well as how she’s changed with time. Plus, it’s just fan wish of mine for all three of the awesome “Christa-Sandra-Rupert” alliance back again at some point.

Jolanda Jones (“Survivor Palau”): Maybe not the most nuanced player the game has ever seen, but even in only one episode, Jolanda made an impact. She was a ton of fun in her zaniness, and I can only imagine it’s become more wacky and fun with time. Less a “strategic” ballot placement, and more a “fun” one, but you do need some of those.

Lydia Morales (“Survivor Guatemala”): My love for this under-appreciated season will not be denied! Lydia made for a great underdog story and a lot of the weird, yet fun, moments that I say characterize the good parts of this season. Bring her back, and let the fun continue.

Michelle Yi (“Survivor Fiji”): This choice might seem a bit odd, given that I’ve previously made clear that “Survivor Fiji” is my least-favorite (and, I would argue, worst) season of the show. Why, then, would I want someone back from it. Apart from Michelle and her enthusiasm being one of the few good points that “Survivor Fiji” has, Michelle, above all else, is the person I feel most DESERVES a second chance out of anyone on this fantasy ballot or on the original first one. While I don’t like the “Haves vs. Have Nots” twist of “Survivor Fiji”, nor did I like that the only real drama was due to an ugly “Car for immunity” deal towards the end that went south, these things can be forgiven, at least to a degree. It is Michelle’s ouster that really makes me HATE “Survivor Fiji”, and I would like to see it corrected. For those of you who are blissfully unaware of what happened, allow me to fill you in. After the merge on “Survivor Fiji”, as often happens, there was a power struggle between what we might call the “Yau-Man and Earl” alliance against a group of young guys dubbed “The Four Horsemen”. Pretty standard stuff for post-merge. There were some swing votes to keep it interesting, but the twist came that, rather than an individual immunity challenge, there would be a team immunity challenge, with the losers going directly to Tribal Council without any talking beforehand. A little bit weird, and certainly unfair, but I can see the logic. See what happens when you can’t collude for a vote. It can potentially make for some drama, with weird, random votes being cast, and adds chaos to an already chaotic time. We have a Tribal Council relying ENTIRELY on no one having a clue who everyone else will vote for. What happens then? Probst asks Alex, one of the four horsemen, to give him a reason to vote out everybody there. Alex then uses that situation to clue everyone in that he’s voting for Michelle, meaning she goes home, despite her alliance technically having a MAJORITY overall. She did nothing wrong, and Probst’s cheap line of questioning took all the drama out of what could have been a very dramatic Tribal Council! UNFORGIVABLE! For that reason alone, Michelle needs to come back.

Jamie Dugan (“Survivor China”): While I was never a huge fan of hers, she did have a certain devious charm to her. Everyone on the Fei Long Tribe was afraid of her, and I’ve never really been able to determine why. It’d be nice to see her back, if only to help us figure it out.

Natalie Bolton (“Survivor Micronesia”): People tend to give Amanda, Parvati, and Cirie credit for developing the all-powerful women’s alliance of this season, but such people tend to forget that Natalie was a big part of that as well. Devious to a large degree, it WAS Natalie’s performance that led to Erik Reichenbach giving up immunity, which must be respected. Plus, Natalie had a lot of fun confessionals. Add onto that the fact that she’s been cut from several casts by now, and I’d say it’s high time she had another shot.

Sandy Burgin (“Survivor Tocantins”): What can I say? Fun, quirky older ladies are one of my favorite things on “Survivor”. Not the brightest, but Sandy managed to survive a fairly brought start in the game (helped by a string of challenge wins), and I’d just like to see what fun she could bring to another season.

Taj Johnson-George (“Survivor Tocantins”): I’m a little skeptical about putting Taj on this list, since I’ve heard some rumors that she’s not really up for doing another season. However, the rumors are vague enough and I like her enough that I’m willing to stretch a little and put her on the list. Though she faded later in the season, Taj was a fascinating driving force early on, and a real underdog. Her contribution to the success of the old Jalapao post-merge cannot be understated, and I’d like to see if and how her strategic skills have improved.

Kelly Bruno (“Survivor Nicaragua”): No, no, calm your heart attacks. This is not “Purple Kelly” (someone I would NEVER consider inviting back), but rather, another one I feel might “deserve” to come back. Sort of in the same vein of why I liked Mikayla Wingle (“Survivor South Pacific”) on the first “Second Chances” ballot, I don’t so much feel that Kelly is the greatest character ever, but that she got unfairly persecuted by an awful human being, and at the very least, deserves a “Survivor” season where she can leave with dignity. Plus, as “Survivor Cambodia” demonstrated, give people named “Kelly” a second chance, and greatness can be achieved, so long as you’re not too picky about spelling.

Holly Hoffman (“Survivor Nicaragua”): Like with “Survivor Thailand”, I get why a lot of people don’t like this season. It had a lot of unpleasantness, particularly with the quits towards the end. However, while “Survivor Nicaragua” hit lower lows than “Survivor Thailand”, I’d also say it hit higher highs, and it’s a shame those highs aren’t acknowledged. Case in point, Holly. Holly had a great underdog story during her first out, and I’d like to see her improve on it. Plus, the older folks from that season don’t get a lot of love, even though there were a few gems among them.

Ashley Underwood (“Survivor Redemption Island”): I shudder as I write this, but yes, I am allowing someone from one of the most reviled seasons ever to be on this fantasy list. Yes, part of it is producer pandering, since they seem to love this season more than others, and they probably want more young, attractive people than I’d ever put on this list, so I’ll cater to them this time. I will say that if you MUST have someone back from this season, Ashley is the person to have. She, at least, showed a MODICUM of resistance to the reign of Boston Rob. Of course, this is “Survivor Redemption Island” we’re talking about her, so not a whole lot comes of it, but for this season, I’ll take what I can get.

Mikayla Wingle (“Survivor South Pacific”): Another person who was listed in the first “Second Chances” vote, and another person who’s more deserving than they are interesting. Like Kelly Bruno, Mikayla at least needs a season where she isn’t attacked by an awful human being. Plus, helps fill the “young, hot girl” quotient CBS feels it needs.

Carolyn Rivera (“Survivor Worlds Apart”): Carolyn actually did herself in, in a sense, by making it to the end. She lost many people’s vote (including mine), as they felt it might be a waste if she won. All this despite playing an excellent strategic game. This is a grievous miscalculation on the part of all the fans, myself included, and I’d like a chance to correct it.

MEN

Greg Buis (“Survivor Borneo”): Another producer concession, but one I’m little less upset about than most. CBS seems determined to have the entire merge cast of “Survivor Borneo” back (save for Colleen and Gretchen), and Greg’s not a bad way to round it out While his irreverence never struck as much of a cord with me as it did with others, I will concede that he still got a chuckle out of me every now and again, and I be intrigued to see how he’s changed in the years since his original stint. He only turned down the past “Second Chances” vote due to scheduling conflicts, so here’s hoping!

Silas Gaither (“Survivor Africa”): Another one falling into the “deserving” category, though this time it’s more fan perception of “deserving” than actually “deserving”. Silas was the first ever victim of a tribe swap, on top until luck wasn’t on his side. Is that unfair? I say no more unfair than any other victims of tribe swaps. Luck’s part of the game. If you can’t accept that, you shouldn’t be out there. Not that I’m saying Silas is COMPLAINING, mind you. In fact, from what I hear he’s pretty cool with his performance on his season. I’d just like to see any fan complaints quieted down, and an under-appreciated season get more representation.

John Carroll (“Survivor Marquesas”): John made for a fun early villain in the first half of “Survivor Marquesas”, and he had a very memorable exit. Again, since he’s a thinker and a superfan, I’d be curious to see how he improves, and if he can bring any new entertainment value to the table.

Sean Rector (“Survivor Marquesas”): Now, HERE’S someone who could definitely bring entertainment to the table! While I’m neither as big a fan nor as big a detractor of “Survivor Marquesas” as most people seem to be, I will admit that Sean was always a high point of the season. His self-depricating, racially fueled humor nearly always hit the mark (and pointed out some things we maybe weren’t ready to see), and it always amazed me that he was not on “Survivor All-Stars”, especially for the flak that season got for having no black men on it. I guess he was maybe passed over for Boston Rob, but personally, I think Sean’s funnier, less full of himself, and will definitely amp up the entertainment value of any season.

Matthew Von Ertfelda (“Survivor The Amazon”): Perhaps a more personal choice than some of the others on this list, I’ve always had a weird soft spot for the crazy man of the Amazon. Whether you found him enjoyable or he freaked you out, you remember Matthew. Maybe it was the shared first name, but I’ve always fallen on the “enjoy” side, and if nothing else, I’d like to see if his craziness was just the situation, or if it comes out no matter what.

Lea “Sarge” Masters (“Survivor Vanuatu”): This was a hard one for me. I love “Survivor Vanuatu” as a whole, and wanted to bring someone back from it, but everyone who sprang to mind didn’t fit the criteria. Fortunately we have Sarge, a really underrated character from the show, who I think could bring back his entertainment value from before. At the very least, we could get more of his death glare and “Say my name!”-ing. I think he might have scheduling conflicts, since he is in the Army and all, but if he can find some down-time, it’d be great to see him again.

Brian Corridan (“Survivor Guatemala”): Rewatching “Survivor Guatemala”, I’m reminded of how much of a riot Brian was. “Bait Blake” was a great game, he had some of the most memorable voting confessionals ever, and he managed to survive a bad tribe swap, at least for a bit. He could make for a dark-horse strategist if brought back, which I love.

Judd Sergeant (“Survivor Guatemala”): Maybe not the most pleasant of characters, but Judd definitely stands out from the crowd, and would make for a very divisive cast member. Since that causes drama, why not have him back? Plus, his “scumbags” remark needs to be repeated in some manner.

“Cao Boi” Bui (“Survivor Cook Islands”): Evidently I just have a thing for the crazy men on this list. Cao Boi, while maybe not as funny in his craziness as Matthew, did have a certain charm to him. All these crazy remedies and strange beliefs of his, they were just great tv. And the weird thing was, a lot of his folksy remedies seemed to WORK! I know people complained about them, but they WORKED! That, to me, is a plotline worth exploring on another “Second Chances” season.

Michael “Frosti” Zernow (“Survivor China”): Kind of producer pandering here, since young, hot men are also somewhat in demand. Particularly athletic men, which Frosti fills very well, being the only real challenge rival to James on that season. Frost never stood out that much to me, but as bland, athletic people go, we could do worse.

Ace Gordon (“Survivor Gabon”): While I will concede that the first several episodes of “Survivor Gabon” are not the best the show has ever put forward, the best bits of it were the bits with Ace in them. The accent alone made him a great character, but he actually came to play as well! Not always play WELL, and he was a bit full of himself, but it was still the best thing to watch. His power struggle with Ken was where the season really started to get interesting, so I’d like to see him come back again for his over-the-top deviousness adding flavor to the overall season. And the METAPHORS! Ace needs to come back if only for the metaphors he could give. “Legless chickens racing against sleek weasels.” is a hard one to top.

Ken Hoang (“Survivor Gabon”): And who better to bring back opposite Ace than his greatest rival? When I was trying to think of people I still hadn’t seen back yet who I wanted, Ken was the immediate thought for me. I loved his “coming-of-age” story on “Survivor Gabon”, and his development as a strategist was great. His only flaw was a bit of cockiness, which he himself admits, and I’d like to see him make up for that mistake. The man wants to come back, so I’m hopeful he’ll get another shot soon. Simply put, an underrated strategist who needs another chance to show us his stuff.

Marty Piombo (“Survivor Nicaragua”): The “chess grandmaster” himself, Marty’s tall tales alone should have won him a second chance. He never stopped trying until the bitter end, he made ridiculous deals that actually worked, and while he could get a bit whiny at times, it was still worth tuning in just to see what he’d do next. If we could have another season of that, I’d be all for it.

LJ McKanas (“Survivor Cagayan”): Much like Tasha, LJ is a person who could have been a great character, and merely got shunted to the side due to a plethora of great characters on “Survivor Cagayan”. LJ is not to be underestimated, though. He had the brains to make for a great strategist, and that’s potential I’d like to see develop. Plus, another hot guy.

Josh Canfield (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”): Apart from Jeremy, Josh was one of the few great things about “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. It seems to me that we had one of the two major players of the season back, now we need to round it out. Josh definitely made some mistakes, but I think he’s got the wherewithal to learn from them, and once his sting on Broadway ends, he’ll be available, so I look forward to him running things even more efficiently the second time around.

Rodney Lavoie, Jr. (“Survivor Worlds Apart”): Truly, Rodney was a fascinating, entertaining… Ok, I really just want to see him on so he can be denied further reward challenges and complain about his “damn birthday” even more. Plus, producer pandering.

And there you have it, a fantasy “Second Chances” bracket. Will it come to pass? Of course not! There are seasons yet to be filmed/aired that will most likely produce worthy candidates, so some of the people on this list will be cut. Still, I think it’s fun to start considering what possibilities we have already. let me know what you think! Anyone I missed? Someone on this list you particularly like or dislike as a choice? Completely hate my guts for not putting Jon Misch on here? Let me know in the comments below! For now, I will await you at the reveal of the cast for ‘Survivor Kaoh Rong”!

-Matt

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cambodia” Episode 4: You’re A Firework

Going into this new episode of “Survivor”, the big question on most people’s minds is “Will Angkor lose horribly?” The answer, however, is not as obvious as one might think. Then again, for a tribe with Jeff Varner on it, few things are obvious.

Speaking of Jeff, he brings us back into tonight’s episode. After his outburst after the previous immunity challenge, Jeff knows he narrowly dodged a bullet at the last Tribal Council. He attempts to make amends by swearing up and down that he’s loyal and Angkor strong and all of those sweet nothings you whisper in that situation. Give Jeff credit: if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s making total B.S. sound completely sincere. The tribe seems to buy it, but in confessional, Jeff says what everyone watching knew he was thinking: that he hates these people, wants nothing to do with them, and would rather see them out to further his own game. True, he did vote with the majority at this past Tribal Council, but bear in mind, that puts only Woo in the minority, and on a tribe this desperate for challenge wins, Woo is a much more valuable commodity than Jeff. The man needs a miracle.

Or else he needs to be on a tribe with Abi-Maria. Which, of course, he is. The drama, such as it is, starts when Tasha pulls Woo aside to talk, apologizing for the blindside and trying to get the pair to move forward with the group. Actually, not a bad strategy. Apart from helping keep the physical strength of your tribe happy, it gains you an easily manipulated ally. Don’t get me wrong, I quite like Woo. He’s a charming, goofy kid, and a lot of fun to watch. Facing the facts, though, Woo is not exactly a great player of “Survivor”. The kid can be let along by pretty much anyone with a brain. He’s kind of like Rupert from “Survivor Pearl Islands” in that way. I would never call either of them a good player of “Survivor”, but they seem like really nice people, and are a TON of fun to watch.

Sorry, sorry, got off-track with my Rupert-fanboying there. He’ll be the next Kass before you know it. The drama I was hinting towards come, to no one’s surprise, from Abi-Maria. She’s annoyed that her alliance-mates are talking with the person who just cast a vote her way. Admittedly, I have a lot more sympathy for Abi-Maria in this case, partly because she actually manages not to go as overboard or melodramatic as she has at past betrayals (see, she IS learning), but mainly because she’s actually somewhat justified in this case. Your supposed allies talking to the person perceived as your sworn enemy is grounds for mistrust and frustration. Note, however, that I say that she’s only SOMEWHAT justified. While being mistrustful of your allies is one thing, staying loyal only as long as they only talk to certain people is just an unrealistic expectation of the game. Plus, since I think 75% of the cast is Abi-Maria’s sworn enemy, that doesn’t give people a whole lot of wiggle-room.

What’s this? A tribe OTHER than Angkor actually has something interesting to say, strategy-wise? Surely you jest! But no, in fact, things are on the move at Bayon. Specifically, those things are Jeremy and Stephen. After the required interview in which Jeremy gushes about his new hidden immunity idol, Jeremy chats with Stephen by the water well, doing a very convincing job of acting like the idol hasn’t been found yet. Certainly Stephen laps it up hook, line, and sinker, and both sprint off in separate directions, searching the trees. Have to admit, this is a pretty slick move by Jeremy. It simultaneously hides his idol, while also building team unity that makes it less likely that he’ll have to use it. Jeremy admits in confessional that, contrary to the will of Savage, Jeremy quite likes Stephen, in a J.T. sort of way. In fact, Jeremy would like to be the NEW J.T. for Stephen, complete with Stephen getting so harangued at the Final Tribal Council that Jeremy wins in a landslide. Not a bad plan, and I think Jeremy’s got the skill to pull it off, but I see a couple of problems here. The first is that, despite what the editing of this season seems to indicate, Stephen is not a moron. Do you really think he’d make the same mistakes as last time? And second, Jeremy, make sure you’re channeling “Survivor Tocantins” J.T., and not “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” J.T. The former is considered one of the best winners of all time, the latter is considered to have made one of the dumbest moves of all time.

But enough about that, I want to know if camp life at Angkor still sucks? It does! Great! Moving on.

And so we come to today’s reward challenge, for a varying amount of barbecue supplies. One tribe member will race out into the water to collect a sandbag, then bring it back to shore, using a plank and fulcrum, said tribe member will then attempt to launch said bag onto a net above. The first two tribes to get three bags on the net win. An interesting thing to me about this challenge is that, as has been widely publicized, this season is reusing challenges from past seasons. In an effort to fit in with the “Second Chances” theme, the crew has been particularly using challenges played by past contestants who got on this season. The trouble with this plan is that “Survivor” challenges are elaborate, meaning the early ones need to be constructed well before the season begins, and in this case before the season was even cast, due to the short time span between the cast reveal and the start of filming. This means that the producers had to guess who would make it on, and pick challenges accordingly. This particular challenge hails from “Survivor Africa”, the season of the regrettably-not-picked Teresa “T-Bird” Cooper. This says to me that the producers thought T-Bird was going to make it (a sentiment I share), but got blindsided by the viewing audience. Or, since the immunity challenge does not hail from a season ANYONE in the potential contestant pool was on, perhaps I’m just coming up with conspiracy theories.

Another interesting thing you may have noted about this challenge is that, despite being a tribal challenge, only one person plays. This is something new that “Survivor” is trying out, a so-called “Hero Challenge”, where only one person competes. An interesting concept, and on the whole, I’m for it. It makes for a big change, some nice drama with the “Hero or Goat” role, and frankly, it’s not all that different from a lot of team challenges. After all, a lot of times the outcome of a challenge DOES rest on one person. The only part that gives me pause is that the tribal challenges are generally grander in scale than individual challenges, generally making them more exciting than individual challenges. Basically, what we have here is sacrificing a tribal challenge for an individual challenge. That’s ok in moderation, but I fear losing too many tribal challenges. Still, a pretty good twist. To add some more wild conspiracy theories to the mix, I think this challenge might have been thrown in to give Angkor a fair fight. The producers must have realized that the conditions at Angkor weakened the tribe as a whole, and that in group challenges, where your weakest links are the factor, they’d lose. While the camp conditions hardly make a fair fight, putting up the strongest from each tribe eliminates the weak-link problem, making the challenge SLIGHTLY fairer.

Every tribe makes a logical choice here. Angkor puts up Savage, Bayon Jeremy, and Ta Keo Terry. About the only choice I have any doubts about is Terry. Not so much because Terry is bad, since he does have that whole “5 Immunity Challenge” streak thing under his belt, but because you’ve got St. Joe on your tribe, who’s good at everything. I mean, Terry’s good, but by his own admission, he’s not as young as he used to be. Why not put St. Joe, who’s in his prime, up there? Can’t knock the choice overall, though. Terry is hardly a BAD choice, just maybe not the optimal one.

Perhaps Ta Keo didn’t put St. Joe up to make everything a fair fight. Out of the gate, pretty much everyone’s even in terms of the running. Savage is a bit behind, as one would expect, due to life at Angkor sucking like a Hoover, but he still keeps running fairly well. Heck, he even comes back. It quickly becomes clear that what will decide this challenge is not strength, but how well one can remember the proper plank configuration and power in order to get their bag in the net. Here’s where Savage really shines. He’s definitely more cerebral than Terry, and arguably more cerebral than Jeremy. Of the three, I’d argue that he’s the most well-rounded, and he shows this when, after taking three tries to net his first bag, he nails the next two in one shot, winning first place for Angkor. I will give Savage his due: the man is a BEAST in hopeless situations. If you ever need someone to pull you out from the bottom, Savage is your man. And the editors know it, and they milk every minute of it. Go back, listen to the music during the challenge, and tell me that they don’t give Savage the dramatic hero music, and make him look like the biggest badass the world has ever seen. Bit of hyperbole, but the man really deserves it in this situation. Good on you, Savage! Oh, and Terry manages to take second place after leading most of the challenge, so that’s good, I guess.

Since Angkor is still most likely going back to Tribal Council, this makes they by far the most interesting tribe, let’s cut back to them and see what they’re doing after the challenge. Ah, I see they’re enjoying their well-earned spoils and bragging about how much better off they are. Deservedly so, but not very interesting. Is anything happening at Bayon? No? All right, Ta Keo, there must be something interesting happening at Ta Keo. And there is. Character development.

Yes, it is time once again to talk about Kass. STOP! ACTUALLY READ THIS PARAGRAPH! I know I’m a Kass fan who’s gushed on and on about her little scenes that don’t really matter, but I think I’m justified this time, since she IS the center of what happens at Ta Keo this episode. We once again get a confessional with Kass talking about how she has to change up her game from her last stint, since she says that those who don’t learn from their mistakes cannot win this game. See also, Hantz, Russell (“Survivor Samoa”). But Kass is absolutely right, in my opinion. Luck is a part of “Survivor”, but very rarely is it ENTIRELY luck that someone gets voted out, though it does happen (see the fate of Michelle Yi on “Survivor Fiji” for an example). Therefore, if you don’t want the same outcome as last time, you need to change up your game. Hell, this season proves that point. Everyone voted out so far has, in some form, repeated the mistakes of the past. Vytas was too obviously threatening, Shirin played too hard too fast (even though this wasn’t what got her voted out, everyone from that season says that’s how she was, so I count it), and Peih-Gee couldn’t resist fighting with her tribe mates. You need to change up your game if you want to win, and you didn’t the last time. Even if you DID win, you should probably change up your game, since people can see it coming.

But getting back to Kass. Kass’ weakness last time, by her own admission, was not playing a social game. To that end, she very publicly read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” preseason, and has taken advice from it. Sincere gestures are a part of that, and to that end, she’s taking the tribe supplies and making a bracelet for someone on the tribe. All this while talking about how everyone perceived her as untrustworthy going in, and an obvious first boot. Chaos Kass wouldn’t be doing this. Oh, and you can see how desperate they are to use the “Chaos Kass” hashtag when they bring it up in a context where it really isn’t that relevant.

Oh, but what was that about people having a preconceived notion of Kass? Well, Kelley happens to be one of those people. Kass has been doing her work before the tribe awakes, but not too much before. Kelley happens to wake up, and sees Kass doing her work. This sends Kelley, in confessional, on a rant about how untrustworthy Kass is, and how she’s clearly making a fake idol. Admittedly, not an unreasonable conclusion, given how similar the activities are. Things get worse when Kelley walks up to Kass on the beach while she’s working, only for Kass to shoo her away, thus reinforcing the “fake idol” theory. Things are looking bad for Kass. Even when she TRIES to be nice, it still comes off as manipulative. But who was Kass making that bracelet for? Why, Kelley, of course! It’s a late birthday present. Kelley gushes over the thing way more than I would expect, and admits she thought Kass had been making a fake idol. Not sure Kass is in the clear on this one, though. While she’s giving it her all to not make the same mistakes as last time, the fact that people jump to that conclusion is a problem, and we never see Kelley definitively say that she’s forgiven Kass, or is no longer suspicious of Kass. To give Kass her due, though, she is trying.

Ah, and with that respite, Bayon actually has some interesting events going on. It’s time for the great debates. The Challenge Beast vs. The Vulcan. Kelly vs. Spencer. Well, I say “debates”, but it’s really one-sided. Jeremy and Stephen, who are all buddy-buddy with Spencer now, ask him what his relationship is with Kelly. Spencer says that she’s in the pockets of Terry, Woo, and Jeff, and not on his side. Spencer expresses remorse at throwing Kelly under the bus (perhaps his attempt to get emotions is working), but I would point out that Spencer is technically telling the truth here, and it’s in his best interests. Kelly has no loyalty to him, and he no loyalty to Kelly, so why bother trying to save her. Spencer may be going a bit overboard with the play, though. He even tries to convince the Bayon water well that Kelly needs to go. Some lady named Monica CLAIMS to be there, and not trust Spencer, but we all know there’s no one named Monica on this season, and CERTAINLY no one who would have been better if replaced with T-Bird.

And now we have our Immunity Challenge. As I stated previously, this one hails from no season that anyone on this season participated in. This is the “Send Blindfolded People out to Retrieve Puzzle Pieces to Make a Cube” challenge. The cube puzzle itself first aired on “Survivor Thailand”, but this particular iteration comes to us from “Survivor All-Stars”. And man, is this a great challenge. It’s got both physical and mental components, and makes for some fun chaos. But the best part is, of course, the falls. I know I really shouldn’t be taking joy in the potential serious injury of others, but it’s like watching one of those goofy physical game shows. You know it’s probably dangerous, but it’s just so mesmerizing, you just can’t look away.

Jeff, Kimmi, and Kass are all selected as the callers, which seem like wise choices at first. However, it quickly becomes apparent that Kass has a problem. Jeff has a huge diaphragm to project from, and Kimmi is just loud in general, but Kass is actually fairly soft-spoken. She’s having a hard time time making herself heard over these two loud people, as evidenced by Terry’s just wandering around lost, and Keith repeating “I can’t hear.” over and over again. By the way, I get that this is supposed to be the new equivalent of Rudy Boesch’s “I don’t know.” bit on “Survivor Borneo”, but no. Just no. It doesn’t work. There can only be one. In Kass’ slight defense, she was in a bit of a spot. You need your most physical players to carry the pieces, but you need your cerebral players, like Kass, to solve the puzzles. Kass needed to be in this challenge, but couldn’t really do the lifting of the piece. Therefore, caller it is, and she’s simply outclassed by the lung capacity of the “Survivor the Australian Outback” players.

Fortunately for Kass, she’s on a tribe with St. Joe, who seems to be able to see through his blindfold. He not only seemingly gets to the pieces by himself, but also brings them back by himself. Why did he not run the “Hero Challenge” again? Guess he was saving his strength, as he puts Ta Keo back in the lead in what is a back-and-forth challenge. I’ll be going into my problem with this challenge in just a minute, but to give it it’s due, it’s quite tense. Not only does the lead shift back and forth throughout the course of the challenge, but we’ve also got some ambiguity over who’s most likely to go to Tribal Council. True, we haven’t heard much from Ta Keo, so they’re probably safe, but both Bayon and Angkor have given us strategy talk. Either one of them could be the winner, and that makes this challenge heart-pounding.

Now for my problem with the challenge: I don’t like the editing When they’ve done this challenge previously, they’ve shown us highlights in a linear fashion. Pretty understandable. It spaces out the action, and this is an easy challenge in terms of showing who’s ahead and who’s behind. Doing montages would just confuse us. But that’s exactly what they do. The montages make the challenge hard to follow, and put nearly all of the “People colliding with other people” action in one spot, which just ruins a lot. Also, the collisions felt a bit lackluster this time around, but due to the injury potential, perhaps that’s for the best.

Oh, and that tension I mentioned? It stays for most of the challenge, but it kind of peters out towards the end. Everybody gets to the puzzle, but Bayon pulls ahead and wins outright. Since we pretty much know Ta Keo doesn’t win the challenge, this seems to make everything straightforward. We get shots of Angkor just being burned out on the puzzle, and you know it’s over. Ta Keo, once again, takes second place, and Angkor, once again, goes to Tribal Council.

After the challenge, there’s no beating around the bush. Jeff is in trouble and he knows it. Fortunately, he also knows that he’s on a tribe with Abi-Maria, who is very emotional, and who is much madder at Woo than she is at him. That could save him. First, though, Woo has an original idea: AN IDEA! Isn’t that great, folks? Let’s give him a big hand! No, Woo starts questioning why the old Ta Keo, who had the advantage on Angkor, is letting Tasha and Savage, the technically minority, run things. This… is actually a good point. I would not have believed it of Woo. It’s true, Tasha and Savage are big threats who are unlikely to take any of you too far, so why not get rid of them and keep yourselves safe? Woo pitches this idea to Abi-Maria, and here’s where we see the flaw in Woo’s otherwise brilliant plan: HE’S the one offering Abi-Maria this deal. Dude, do you not realize your name is mud with Abi-Maria right now? Let Jeff offer her the plan, she’ll listen to him.

True to form, Abi-Maria does not listen to Woo, and goes to tell Tasha and Savage that she just wants Woo gone for his disloyalty. Tasha talks sense to Abi-Maria, pointing out how much bigger of a threat Jeff is, and how he wasn’t really loyal to the tribe. Tasha forgets that she’s talking to Abi-Maria, who doesn’t play with Earth logic. While everyone still seems to be leaning towards Jeff, things are still a bit up in the air as we head to Tribal Council.

And what a Tribal Council it is! We’re only four episodes in, true, but this is definitely in the running for best Tribal Council of the season. This was great! This was entertainment! This was magic to watch!

We start with the true start of Tribal Council: Big Creepy Bug! Seriously, Jeff Varner is giving Jeff Probst a standard sound-byte, when some giant bug from the depths of hell say “No way, Jose!”, and proceeds to fly right into Jeff Varner’s face, as well as at some of the other contestants as a warning shot. This is a hilarious way to open Tribal Council. I know some people might give the contestants here flack for flinching at a harmless bug, but I’m on their side. That bug was huge and in their respective faces! You’d flinch as well, mark my words. Our only standard bit is Jeff Varner talking about a toe injury he received during the previous challenge, but then we get to the highlight of the episode.

As I said, things are still a bit up in the air this Tribal Council, and I don’t mean just for the audience. This tribal uncertainty means that Jeff Varner and Woo have to plead their respective sides. And it is glorious. Not so much in how evenly matched these two wit-masters are (which they aren’t at all), but in just how gloriously Jeff Varner plays it. He comes out swinging, once again professing his loyalty, not just to the tribe, but to each individual sans Woo. But when Woo even TRIES to make a comeback, makes ANY point that’s contrary to Jeff Varner, he gets immediately shot down by Jeff Varner. Woo’s needed to win physical challenges? That makes him a threat. The merge is ages away? Woo can’t guarantee that. Jeff still had that slip up after last episode’s immunity challenge? At least Jeff voted with the majority. If Jeff is going home tonight, it’s a blaze of glory, and that’s why we love him. Jeff made every argument the best way he knew how. Even his fellow tribe mates seem stunned at his passion. I feel a bit bad for Woo, since he’s so outclassed, but I’m just so fascinated by Jeff Varner that I can’t help but love this scene. Definitely in the running for best Tribal Council of the season, and possibly of all-time. And the capper? During the debates, the sticking point with Woo was that he never swore loyalty to Abi-Maria. What does he do before the vote? Swear loyalty.

While I was pretty sure before Tribal Council that Jeff Varner was done for, his performance made me reconsider. Maybe he’s not… DANG IT! You got me again! Sure enough, despite his best efforts, Jeff goes home, which I would say is the smart decision. Well, maybe not for Abi-Maria or Woo, since they’re now solidly out of the majority, and in the case of the former, Jeff was her closest ally. In Abi-Maria’s case, though, she’s likely to be taken along by some other alliance, so it’s of little loss, and as for Woo, since it was either him or Jeff Varner, I can’t call it a terrible move for Woo. For everyone else? Jeff was the one controlling things on Ta Keo, uniting the various factions to suit his needs. Getting rid of him gets rid of a hard-playing strategic threat, and pretty much prevents the old Ta Keo from coming together again. Some smart individuals like Spencer or Kelley might be able to work their way decently far into the game, but the tribe as a whole. At this point, I say done for. Bayon wins.

Surprisingly, I’m not all that sorry to see Jeff go. True, I will miss his gameplay and his snakiness, but it felt like his time. We got what we wanted to get out of Jeff: a lot of funny confessionals and some hard-core gameplay. Would it have been nice to see more of? Maybe, but for what we got, Jeff went out in a blaze of glory, and had a really excellent, if short, run this season. He will be remembered with honor.

As a final note for the episode, I’ll say that I’m annoyed that they didn’t show Tasha’s “Jeff (Not Probst)” vote anywhere but the end credits. Not only would it have been funny as all-get-out, but it’s exactly what I would have written, had I been out there. Great moment I’m sorry didn’t get more recognition.

Can this season do no wrong? We’re four for four so far on great episodes, and I might go so far as to say this one’s the best yet. Yes, even with the Kass ambiguity, the episode had a lot of strategy, humor, and drama. What more could you ask for? Well, how about a…

TOP 10

Now, I’m sure a lot of you are saying “But Matt, you do ‘Top 5 and Bottom5’ lists, not Top 10’s!” Very astute, my readers who I’m talking for. The trouble hear is that I’d like to talk about my top Tribal Councils of all time (in terms of vote-off, not design), and it’s kind of hard to have a “Bottom 5” list for that, since it’d just be 5 Tribal Councils that are completely unmemorable. Basically, all of pre-merge “Survivor Fiji”. So, to make sure you get your content, I’m going to be listing my Top 10 Favorite Tribal Councils, based on what happened at them. My only caveat is that someone actually had to be voted off at this Tribal Council. None of this “Remembering and Evacuee” or quitting stuff. There’s a lot to cover, so let us dive in!

10. “Survivor Pearl Islands” Episode 10: This one lands on the list for very personal reasons. This is the episode where Rupert gets booted, and as mentioned before, I like Rupert. This makes it a hard episode for me to watch, particularly given the look of utter defeat on Rupert’s face as the votes just keep coming, but perhaps that’s why it stands out to me so much. It’s not exactly a happy memory, so it lands low on the list, but it stands out, so it should definitely be on the list.

9. “Survivor China” Episode 7: Another one that many people may think I’m overrating. This is the first episode of a fake idol play in the history of “Survivor”, when Jamie Dugan played the wrong symbol from atop the camp archway in a desperate attempt to save herself. Many will say, quite rightly, that this was a perfectly fine last-ditch move, and that there have been funnier fake idol plays in the show’s history, but this one came first, and it’s always stood out in my mind. I remember laughing so hard when I saw that this was even possible, and Probst just taking it so seriously makes it all the better!

8. “Survivor Borneo” Episode 7: Now, before I start getting hate comments, let me state, for the record, that if this was a list of the most SIGNIFICANT Tribal Councils of all time, Gretchen Cordy’s boot would definitely be #1 on the list. But it’s not that list, but a list of the BEST Tribal Councils, so it doesn’t make the top spot. Still, there’s plenty to like about this Tribal Council. I believe it holds the record for the most people voted for in a single round of voting, and even now it’s hard to see sweet, fan-favorite Gretchen get the axe. Really, the only reason it’s not higher up on the list is that it loses some impact when compared to how modern day “Survivor” is played. Still impactful, though.

7. “Survivor Redemption Island” Episode 3: Ah yes, how could one neglect the boot episode of Russell Hantz? I almost didn’t put this on the list, because the real coup de grace is in the next episode when he actually gets eliminated (thank you, Redemption Island twist), but this moment was still too sweet to leave off. After enduring two full seasons of Russell Hantz, and the start of the third one where we had to see the same aggravating game over and over, it was refreshing to see Russell called out on his poor gameplay, and to get his just desserts.

6. “Survivor Gabon” Episode 7: Another one I may remember more fondly than most people. This is the episode in which the second tribe swap happens, where Randy declares himself “King of Gabon”. I’m not sure I’ve talked about this before, but I’m a big fan of Ken Hoang from this season. He was a more than decent strategist whose only flaw was getting cocky towards the end (which I’m sure NO ONE ELSE has ever done). His personal growth over the season was great to watch, and it’s a testament to how good he was that, on a season where everybody hated everybody, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who didn’t like Ken. And this episode, he comes into his own. Marcus has been running the game pretty much from the get-go, so it was shocking and satisfying to see him get overthrown. This is Ken at his best, and that’s why I love it so much.

5. “Survivor Caramoan” Episode 10: This is the episode where Malcolm manages to get immunity for himself and his comrades, via two immunity idols. There’s something to be said for spectacle, and certainly that spectacle made this a memorable Tribal Council in and of itself. What puts it even higher up for me is that it has more than that. The last minute politicking at Tribal Council makes it all the more intriguing, the blatant calling out of strategies enjoyable, and the exit of Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard the icing on the cake. Just all around, a lot of sweet, Tribal Council goodness.

4. “Survivor Marquesas” Episode 8: If there WERE to be a contender for “Most Significant Tribal Council” other than the Gretchen boot on “Survivor Borneo”, it’d have to be episode 8 of “Survivor Marquesas”. The first ever “Totem Pole” shake-up of the show, this saw Neleh Dennis and Paschal English flip from the old Rotu after getting axed off early in a challenge. This episode changed the course of the game for the better, but even the Tribal Council itself was enjoyable. A great blindside, and a number of good moments. John’s emotional exit speech deserves mention, but the crowning moment is Sean Recotr’s “Chicken and Waffles” vote. That confessional is priceless.

3. “Survivor Exile Island” Episode 6: A lot of people forget about this one, but it’s one of the most emotional Tribal Councils I’ve ever seen. This is the Dan “Fuego” Barry, and no, it’s not surprising. But man, is it touching. Everyone knows Dan is going home, even Dan. Rather than hide it, they use the Tribal Council to showcase everything Dan has done. No, there’s no mystery, but there doesn’t need to be. And all capped off with everyone helping Dan take his torch to Probst in a show of unity. It’s hard to find a Tribal Council more touching than that.

2. “Survivor Cambodia” Episode 4: Yes, a lot of this is probably recency bias, and yes, in a while it’ll probably slide down the list, but that’s how I feel right now. It’s hard to find a Tribal Council more hilarious than this one, but is also has great maneuvering, excellent soundbytes, and the grand fall of a major player. All pretty good stuff, in my mind.

1. “Survivor Micronesia” Episode 13: Yep, the Erik Reichenbach boot. No way this wasn’t going on here. The most improbable event in “Survivor” history, and one not likely to be repeated in terms of surprise. Great confessional clips, a hilarious boot, and an improbable giving up off immunity at a stupid time not only make this the best Tribal Council of all time, but, for this moment alone, largely explains why “Survivor Micronesia” is a lot of people’s favorite season.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 12: The first drawing of rocks since “Survivor Marquesas”. A very dramatic moment that deserves to be remembered. Why is it not on the list proper? Well, this is a bit of a cheat, but it was broadcast a little too loudly that they were going to rocks before the Tribal Council to add any tension to the proceedings. Still, give it what it’s worth, it WAS a memorable moment.

Let’s hope the streak keeps up in the weeks to come!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Philippines” Episode 9: Paddle-Balls to the Wall

“Survivor” Medic!

Seriously, I’m having fainting spells, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last!  I know I’m about to spoil the climax of the episode, but damn if I can’t blog without getting it off of my chest.  I’ve praised the misdirection this season by and large, but tonight I thought I had it figured out.  I was sure, despite my own personal biases, that Penner was gone, dead in the water, Skupin was his best chance, and Skupin wasn’t moving without Lisa.  We get to Tribal Council, the 4^th vote for Penner comes up, and I’m dead certain he’s gone.  There’s no way Skupin and Lisa would move independently, so the only way it swings in Penner’s favor is a 6-3 vote for Artis.  Then the last name comes up, I prepare my “Support Denise” banners, and all of a sudden, Artis comes up!  You can’t see me now, but I have a huge grin in my face.  If only to keep it longer, let us savor the sweet journey that was, in my opinion, the best episode of this season.

We start off with a lot of celebrating/complaining about Jeff Kent’s (damn, I thought I wouldn’t have to write that name again) departure.  Of particular interest is why Penner voted for Abi-Maria instead of forcing a tie.  Fan theory was that Penner had a diabolical scheme up his sleeve, which required splintering an alliance.  My theory was that he had a grudge against Jeff Kent (will he never leave this blog?), and couldn’t stand keeping him in.  The big reveal is that Penner was simply confused, and didn’t know there was a plan (despite his grandstanding at the previous Tribal Council).  Wow, loss of points on the brilliance-ometer there Penner.  Don’t worry, you’ll more than earn them back later in the episode.

Also of interest is Lisa, who took a moral bashing last episode, and previews show that she’ll continue to get one this episode.  She tries to explain herself to everyone, and Tandang seems receptive (though Abi-Maria continues to dig her own grave), but still, Lisa questions her decision.

Following commercial, Christmas comes early as Penner’s foreshadowed work on Lisa begins.  Seeming to have gotten over his case of pissed-off-itis from the night before, Penner admits that he still needs a plan in order to move forward.  His plan is to continue his work on Lisa, but hard core now.  He does this, not by strategizing, but by appealing to her emotions.  Now, some of my more frequent readers know that I normally despise this form of manipulation, feeling that it is overall weaker and less effective (not to mention somewhat less scummy) than outright strategizing.  Penner’s use of it I’m ok with for 2 reasons.  The first is that he ADMITS that it’s a strategy, as it’s the best way to get to Lisa, whereas others who use this I believe go with it on the basis that it feels less scummy than the other method.  The second is that, unlike others who appeal in vague noncommittal terms (or fake a birthday, John Cochran of “Survivor South Pacific”), Penner goes straight for the proverbial jugular, not attacking Lisa’s sense of righteousness, but her insecurities, and her insecurities from EARLY LIFE nonetheless!  What’s more, he does it in the guise of friendly advice, claiming to be the first person who understood her.  All this is sprinkled with hyperbolic praise.  “Unprecedented move”, huh? Yes Penner, as a hard core strategist, you of all people know that a person uniting a disparate group of people to form a voting block has NEVER happened before!  I know I should be appalled at Penner’s display, as most of his words a clearly not genuine, but damn it, I can’t help but be impressed with his read of people, and the overall convincing performance he gave!

Challenge?  Oh, yeah, right, I suppose there was a reward challenge this episode.  Do I really have to?  Can’t I just rhapsodize about Penner some more?

In all seriousness, this challenge does deserve a decent amount of mention, both good and bad.  For it, tribes are split into teams of two, who make their way through a muddy obstacle course one at a time, each collecting a bag of balls.  Once everyone has made it through, teams unwrap their balls (12 in all), and try to get them down a small cone.  The first team to get all 12 balls down the cone wins the right to take school supplies (though they mostly look like sports supplies to me) to a local Filipino school, and earns a feast from that school.  This seems, at first, like your average obstacle course challenge of the type I rag on normally.  However, there are two things that save this challenge from my disgust: mud and rice.  Mud is a fun element of every “Survivor” challenge.  It adds to the spills and the hilarity, it gets the castaways dirty, which is rather entertaining, and it just seems like adding insult to injury, if you’re into schadenfreud.  But mud has been done before, it’s old hat, give us something new.  Ok, how about rice? One leg of the challenge forces the castaways to dive through a trough of rice, which, of course, sticks to them and everything muddy.  Even more than mud, this is insult to injury, and it lends this challenge a unique twist that I rather like.  Top it all off with a good bit of strategy by Penner (which I’ll get to in a minute), and you have a decent, solid challenge.

Though really, does it HAVE to be a team challenge?  Would it kill you to let a free-for-all happen, and force people to make choices about who to bring on reward?

Back to Penner (you’ll find that I do that a lot this blog), he finds himself on a team with Malcolm, Denise, and Carter, going up against Skupin, Lisa, Pete, and Artis, with Abi-Maria not picked (there’s a shock, I’m amazed Probst didn’t lampshade it) and therefore ineligible for reward.  The teams are fairly evenly matched, with Penner’s team having a slight edge in my opinion, but Penner takes no chances.  He loses time on his leg to search around in the mud for all 4 bags and bring them to the surface, thus saving time in the long run.  It’s a good strategy, and helps his team to an admittedly quite narrow victory given the circumstances.

Penner’s team goes on reward, and as always they enjoy the food and hobnobbing with the locals, which at least one person must say is a “life changing experience”.  Malcolm is this year’s winner in that department, at least.  Not one to let a good situation go to waste, however, Penner takes time out to strategize with his fellow reward members, correctly pointing out that they’re on the bottom, and ought to stick together.  The consensus is that Lisa and Skupin are the way to go, and things seem set up for a flip from Lisa.

Oddly enough, Tandang seems to agree with the plan, as they’re doing all that they can to convince Lisa to betray them.  Well, at least Abi-Maria seems to be.  Pete says that he hoped that this would be a bonding time for Tandang, a reaffirmation of their alliance, and return to the fold for those on the outside.  Continually, Pete forgets that he’s aligned with Abi-Maria, who proceeds to badmouth Lisa for her perceived “gullibility”.  Even Artis admits this is a bad idea, and when ARTIS thinks what you’re doing is insane, you know there’s trouble.  What makes it even worse is that Lisa HERSELF, the person most likely to flip, wanted to go along with Pete and co., was perfectly willing to follow along with the plan, and you go and alienate her for no reason!  I’ve run out of metaphors for stupidity at this point, just make one up.

Heading back to camp after commercial, we’re greeted with the return of the effective “Kalabaw 4” from reward, and as you’d expect, they’re greeted…  oh, wait, I guess nothing happened at camp, as it’s CHALLENGE TIME (boy that came fast)!  And the immunity challenge is nothing short of sadistic.  Castaways roll balls down a long paddle, trying to get them into one of 6 notches carved into the paddle.  The first to have all 6 balls sitting on the paddle wins.  Dear Lord, this challenge is difficult.  First of all, it not only requires balance, but also coordination with balance, something very rare, and almost never practiced.  Furthermore, those notches aren’t big, they just barely fit each ball, so while the first ball might not be too bad, it’s downright Herculean to get the other 5 in there without dislodging another ball (as Pete so aptly demonstrated).  It’s like a challenge off of Wii Fit, if Wii Fit had a cruel streak.

In an ironic twist, the man who left the game because of his hands is now kept in the game because of them.  Skupin wins, which would normally be Penner’s death knell, but he’s not one to just roll over and die.  He continues his work on Lisa, taking a slightly different emotional tack this time, one that I’m sure has come up in many a strategy discussion, but has never been shown so blatantly on screen.

Penner asks her how she wants to be perceived in editing.

I’ve always said that these people realize that they’re on a tv show to some degree, no matter how long they stay on, and are, to some degree, thinking about how they’d like to be shown.  I think that, of late, it’s what has led people to avoiding a lot of good strategic moves, as they don’t want to look like scum to the national public.  It also makes sense that the producers don’t want this sort of discussion shown, as it ruins some of the illusion of “reality” on the show, and can blatantly reveal what the editors are trying to do in some cases.  Still, I doubt Penner’s argument is original, but it is a good one.  He tells Lisa that however things turn out, she’ll be perceived as a likeable, loyal underdog, but that the public will dislike her for keeping the “evil” threesome of Artis, Abi-Maria, and Pete in the game.

What’s scary is the man’s ability to predict the public.  That’s pretty much exactly the fan reaction to Lisa.

Meanwhile, the rest of Penner’s alliance (in what I first thought was a conspiracy to turn on him) decided to shift the vote to Artis, as he’s unlikely to play Abi-Maria’s immunity idol.  A bit of unnecessary strategizing, given the confidence of the alliance, but certainly sound reasoning, and any one of the threesome is better than one of the Kalabaw 4.

Penner’s taking no chances, though, and also works the immunity-given Skupin to try and vote off Artis.  Penner works a bit more blatantly, offering Skupin a full-on alliance.  Skupin likes what he hears, but won’t move against Lisa.  So, after some discussion in the water, it’s off to Tribal Council, where Abi-Maria once again digs her own passive-aggressive grave.  And from here on out you know the story.  Like I said, I thought for sure Penner was gone (very glad that he’s not, though), and I even had my “MORONS” megaphone ready to chastise the editors for slipping up on misdirection, when, in fact, it was one of the best bits of misdirection EVER in my opinion.

So, where does this leave us?  With a big question mark, that’s where.  Skupin, despite his interviews, moved against Lisa, and voted with the Kalabaw 4, apparently for good.  This leads to one of two conclusions.  Either Skupin has freed himself of Lisa (which I find unlikely) or Lisa told him to vote against Artis, allowing her to look like a good guy, but still eliminate Artis.  A shrewd move on Lisa’s part, if that’s the case, but not a smart one.  She moves from a solid 5 where she’s guaranteed victory at the end to a not solid 6 where likeability is pretty much even.

Still, this could lead to a short Pagonging of the old Tandang loyalists, which could make the next few episodes boring.  Given the drama that Abi-Maria’s existence causes, though, I kind of doubt it.

What I don’t doubt is that tonight’s episode merited another:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

The theme, as you might guess, is blindsides, and for once, I’m going purely subjective, my own opinions (primarily based on predictability) of what the best blindsides are.  I may do a more objective list at some point, to talk about the blindsides that had the most impact on the game, but that’s not this list.  Also, as there’s no such thing as a “bad” blindside in my objective opinion, I’ll be using it to list the top 5 missed opportunities for blindsides.  One note of clarification on this: the name I list for the bottom 5 is the person who ACTUALLY got voted off, not the person who should have been blindsided.  Now then, on to the list.

Top 5

5. Deena Bennett (“Survivor The Amazon”): Where better to start than with a blindside by the king of blindsides, Rob Cesternino.  While Rob had already perfected this with the boot of the aptly-named Roger Sexton, Deena’s was in my opinion the most unexpected, as well as Rob’s biggest power play.  It gains the lowest slot I can give only because the editing made it seem like it was coming, so a bit of predictability.  Overall, though, an exciting boot for an exciting episode.

4. Artis Silvester (“Survivor Philippines”): So what if it might be the afterglow of Penner’s continued tenure in the game, my list, my choice!  Admittedly, I did put this one down low because I’m not sure how I’ll feel about this blindside compared to others come tomorrow, but at the moment, they pulled the wool over my eyes, made an exciting episode, and earned the #4 slot.

3. John Carroll (“Survivor Marquesas”): It’s not so much that you thought John Carroll would never be voted off.  He was in a leadership position (always precarious), a physical threat, and somewhat cocky.  No, this one you just thought the alliance for it would never come together.  Neleh and Paschal were too far ensconced in the Rotu 4 alliance to dare flip, especially with loose cannon Sean, and yet they did, making for the first “bottom of the totem pole” shake-up in “Survivor” history, and one hell of a blindside.

2. Leann Slaby (“Survivor Vanuatu”): I know I said that overall impact on the game wouldn’t be considered, but this is the exception.  This is the vote that saved Chris’ game and won him a million dollars.  I justify this bending of the rules by pointing out that I did not expect Chris to pull off any sort of a win, given how many women were left, so I’d call it an unexpected and fun blindside.

1. Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”): A fun and deserved blindside.  Never.  I never thought someone would be du enough to give up immunity to a majority alliance.  You proved me wrong, good sir.  Thanks for making the end of the season entertaining!

Honorable Mention: Gretchen Cordy (“Survivor Borneo”): I’ve mentioned before that I watched the seasons out of order, so “Survivor Borneo” was not my first and consequently lost a lot of it’s impact for me.  Still, a lot has to be said for the first real “blindside” of “Survivor”, ever.  You could argue, I suppose, that Stacey or Joel were technically first, but in both cases, you kind of saw it coming.  Gretchen was the first real surprise, and it caused a storm of controversy when it aired.  It must at least be acknowledged, even if it didn’t surprise me.

 

Bottom 5

5. Jenna Lewis (“Survivor Borneo”): Sticking to the land of Borneo, we have our first missed opportunity.  While there was never really a chance to overtake the Tagi alliance from this season, as Pagong was just too disorganized, they did have a shot with their “Barbeque Alliance”.  The Tagi alliance was fragmenting (with Kelly Wiglesworth defecting for a vote), and newly united Pagong front.  That is until Sean Kenniff got moral, voted for Jenna, and in doing so sealed the rest of the Pagong’s fate.

4. Stephenie LaGrossa (“Survivor Palau”): Again, given the amount Tom Westman and Ian Rosenberger won immunity, this was a very slim chance, but deserves mentioning.  The women couldn’t compete on any level with either alpha male, the only way they could WIN in the end was a woman’s alliance.  However, it broke up because, according to Katie “Caryn sucks”.  Mature Katie.  Real mature.  No wonder you lost.

3. Kelly Goldsmith (“Survivor Africa”): Much like Pagong, the Samburu tribe was at a disadvantage, ready to be picked off come the merge.  Unlike Pagong, however, Samburu was much more prepared strategically, and it helped that the old Boran had a few cracks in it.  And while this vote did end up going for a Boran member, it permanently splintered the Samburu, leading to their destruction and a missed opportunity for power.

2. Alicia Calaway (“Survivor The Australian Outback”): While Alicia originally hails from the outback, this goes out her boot in “Survivor All-Stars”.  Once it became clear that a Pagonging of Mogo Mogo would not go smoothly due to Shii-Ann Huang’s winning immunity, people should have ganged up on Boston Rob.  Although he didn’t win, he was the guy to beat, and yet no one made a move to better themselves.  Shii-Ann put it best by calling them “Stupid, stupid people.”

1. Amanda Kimmel (“Survivor China”): This goes for the one time she was actually voted out, in “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”.  DAMMIT, CANDICE, YOU COULD HAVE GOT RID OF RUSSELL FUCKING HANTZ, PUT YOURSELF IN A POWER POSITION, AND YET YOU DIDN’T!  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?

Honorable Mention: Mike Chiesl (“Survivor Redemption Island”): More of a placeholder for any vote post-merge this season.  Ometepe, like on “Survivor All-Stars” just couldn’t bring themselves to vote off their biggest competition, and payed a rightful price.  They’re not on the list proper only because I can’t think of a specific vote that could have changed the game.  For all my criticisms, Boston Rob did keep a good, tight grip on the tribe that season.

Well, that’s it and I’m bushed.  Looking forward to the next episode!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Marquesas

For all that I said that “Survivor Africa” was considered the worst of “Classic ‘Survivor'”, on the whole it is still well remembered, if only for fitting in the aforementioned category.  Particularly given it’s (relatively) recent DVD release, people have been remembering it much more fondly.  No, the first season to truly divide people on whether it was good or not was “Survivor Marquesas”.  Some people think it was an endearing, amazing season that deserves to also be ranked as “Classic ‘Survivor'”, some people think it’s a festering pool of awful.  Where do I fall?  Let’s do the analysis and find out.

Once again, I warn my readers that this retrospective will contain spoliers, but I will give an unspoilerish opinion on whether or not the season is good/should be watched in the “Abstract” section.  Those wishing to read just that section should scroll directly to the bottom of the page to read it.  Now, on with the review!

CAST

I hate to peak earl, but unfortunately this is where the season thrives or dies for most people.  If you like the season, you see the few great players they had as dominating, and even some of the lesser players had their moments.  If you hate the season, you see the good players as overrated, and the lesser players getting for too much screen time.  Oddly, I sort of fall into both categories, as while I think the “great” players are overrated, I think some of the “lesser” players are underrated.

In order to explain, I’ll have to organize the “Cast” section a little differently, and talk about the distribution of people before I go on to who is remembered and if they deserve it or not.  The thing about Marquesas is that it didn’t do as good a job at getting a variety of strategy types.  Now, I don’t mean that they didn’t vary their people, locations, and lifestyles enough, that they were still up to par with the previous seasons.  No, I mean that everyone on Marquesas was either a hardcore strategist, or else completely naive to the game.  There really was no middle ground.  At least with the first 3 seasons, they gave us SOME people who were both moral yet strategic.  This season just felt like extremes of the tropes, on the whole, and could have made for a very boring season, just washing extremes battle with each other to see who would come out on top.  It didn’t help that by the final 8, the strategic people were, by and large, eliminated, which could have made for a very boring season.  What saves it, however, was that some of the people actually CHANGED their strategy in the middle, and became much more strategic than they were.  This was EXCEDINGLY fascinating, and, in my opinion, saved the cast of the season from utter ruin.

Now onto the cast specifics.  Far and away, the person most remembered out of Marquesas is “Boston” Rob Mariano, a construction worker who fancied himself a Godfather of “Survivor”.  However, this fame largely came to being after “Survivor All-Stars”, not to mention the fact that he’s the castaway utilized the most by CBS, appearing on 4 separate seasons (meaning that for every 6 seasons you watch, you will see Boston Rob in one of them).  He’s considered by many to be one of the greatest strategists the game has ever seen, and I freely admit that he’s not that bad.  On the other hand, I’d expect he’d be pretty good AFTER 4 DAMN CHANCES AT THE TITLE!  But of course, we’re not here to look at his future record, we’re here to look at what he did on Marquesas.  So, he voted off alpha male Hunter Ellis to gain power for himself…  Alright, decent strategic move.  He made some wisecracks at the expense of his fellow tribemates…  Ok.  And that’s it.  That’s all Boston Rob did in his tenure on Marquesas, getting eliminated shortly after the merge by a majority alliance from the former Rotu tribe for being a physical threat.  He really did virtually nothing, aside from influencing one vote in the third episode.  The rest was just him cracking jokes, waiting to be voted off.  He tried to save himself, certainly, but he failed miserably.  At this point, it should be no secret that I’m not a huge Boston Rob fan.  I think he’s highly overrated, and annoying in large doses.  My personal favorite contestant from Marquesas (not to mention another fan favorite) is Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien, the Real-Estate Agent from Vermont.  The reason I like Kathy is very simple: she exemplifies what I love about the cast.  Kathy, coming into the game, fell into the “naive” category I mentioned earlier, really having no idea how to play the game, just having a few basic survival skills, and being good in the challenges.  In fact, to begin with she was so bad at the social game, the only reason she wasn’t eliminated was because Rotu went on a winning streak early on, and she found herself in the majority after the tribe swap.  However, unlike past and future castaways, Kathy actually LEARNED as she went on, and changed her game to the point of becoming a strategical dominator for the season post merge.  This is so impressive in my eyes, and for me, it makes Kathy one of the greats.  Unlike Boston Rob, I can see why she was invited back for All-Stars, and I’m sad that she isn’t really talked about anymore, because I think she’s a great example of adaptability in the game.  Now, I’ve said that I don’t think Boston Rob should have been invited back for All-Stars, but who do I think should have?  Aside from Kathy, the answer would have to be Sean Rector, a very witty Harlem Schoolteacher nicknamed “Malcolm Farrakhan” by eventual winner Vecepia Towery.  Like Boston Rob, he was strategic and funny.  Unlike Boston Rob, however, he seemed human, likeable, and had less of an ego.  His strategy was more subtle, and I found him much funnier than Boston Rob.  So, yeah, Sean was pretty cool.  Also remembered, though mainly because Probst likes her, is Gina Crews, who fell squarely on the “moral” side of the spectrum.  The “Watermelon Queen” in real life, she was a tough woman (which this season had a lot of) who pretty much fell apart after Hunter’s exit, then seemed to regain her footing after the tribe switch, only to be voted outfor being in the minority on her tribe.  Yeah, I’m not too fond of her.  She’s likeable enough, I suppose, but she really didn’t impact the game that much, and just left me feeling neutral.  The two utter notable names of the season are Neleh Dennis (the Mormon runner-up of the season) and Sarah Jones (Cleopatra).  They are both, unfortunately, remembered for negative things.  Neleh takes a lot of flak for being overly sweet and repeatedly saying “Oh, my heck.”, despite being a halfway decent strategist (though to be fair, some of the flak also comes from her insisting that she was moral when, in fact, she was not).  Sarah, meanwhile, is remembered for being a prissy girl whose main assets were in silicone.  As my earlier parenthesis might have reminded some, she’s best remembered for doing absolutely no work to row the raft into shore, but sat atop while her “servants” paddled in, which was describes as similar to Cleopatra arriving at her palace, appropriately played with Egyptian-themed music in the background.  So yeah, of the people most remembered, there are only 2 that I really like, but I do think that one person off this season has been neglected in “Survivor” lore.  That person is Tammy Leitner, a crime reporter from Arizona.  Tammy is one of the few people this season who actually balanced morals and strategy.  Ok, to be fair, she tended more towards the moral side of things, but she could be strategic when she wanted to, and had a “never say ‘die'” attitude that I find fascinating.  Unfortunately, this is where the good ends.  Vecepia is not really a good winner, called a “Bible-thumping Bitch” by both contestants and viewers alike, and the rest of the cast was just bland (aside, perhaps, from John Carroll, who had halfway decent strategy, but is unfortunately, only remembered for falling on a sea urchin, and needing Kathy to come pee on his hand).  Maybe now you see the problem with Marquesas: it had to rely on a few really good characters, instead of a good cast overall.  Still, the characters they relied on were (for the most part) good choices, particularly Kathy, and the cast is salvaged pretty well.

Score: 8 out of 10

CHALLENGES

For me, this is where Marquesas suffers the most. A lot of this had to do with the location, which I’ll talk more about in the “Overall” section, but suffice to say that “Generic South Pacific Island” is not as epic as the Australian Outback, or the African bush.  It did mean a fair number of water challenges, which made for a nice change, but the scale of the challenges just seemed to go down.  There were some good ones, to be sure, and it held true to some “Survivor” staples (blindfolded obstacle courses, the “Fallen Comrades” challenge, and probably one of the best gross food challenges ever), but a lot of them felt repeptitive.  There was a lot of “build something” challenges, which are good in and of themselves, but when there are too many of them, they start to feel repetitive.  This season also had a lot of “Sail the boat out to sea, grab some generic things, and race back with them” challenges, which got old really fast.  Particularly after the merge, things just seemed to get mundane.  I don’t mean they got modernized, of course, but the challenges started to feel very much like simple chores rather than complex obstacles.  For instance, some indidvidual challenges in Marquesas included building and flying kites, breaking open coconuts to fill a tube, and building a fire to pop popcorn.  Not exactly what I think of when I think “Survivor”.  I admire that the producers were trying to go a different direction, but this feels like a step backward instead of a step forward.

Not much else to say.  The challenges this season, on the whole, were just weak.

Score: 3 out of 10.

TWISTS

Marquesas was the last season before the producers began to get “twist happy”, and people do seem to respect it for this.  However, while very few of the twists (made by the producers or the players) were great, there were very few God-awful ones as well, and the twists just come off as “ok”.

To begin with, this marked a new level of deprivation for the castaways.  Previously, they’d been given a ration of some form of food (usually rice), but this time had very meagre supplies.  On the one hand, this made the first few episodes rather hard to watch, as the tribes spent a lot of time complaining about the food situation.  On the other hand, it was a nice challenge for the tribes, changed up the game somewhat, and came off ok once the tribes figured out how to get food.  The next twist is what Boston Rob is remembered for: flipping the vote to alpha-male Hunter.  This in and of itself is nothing new, we’d seen alpha males voted off early so others could sieze power, Joel Klug (“Survivor Borneo”) being the prime example of this.  What separates Hunter’s vote out was that unlike other alpha male boots, Hunter was actually in control at some point (and not just under the illusion of control), and was also necesarry.  The Maraamu Tribe had lost every single challenge up until that point, and so having physical strength would have been helpful.  The only reason to vote off the alpha male at this point was to sieze power, and it shocked people, so I suppose that makes it a good twist.  The producers swtiched up tribes again, though this time a bit differently.  They had each castaway stand on a random wooden disk.  On the bottom of these disks were new buffs, to designate new tribes.  This is more random than the switch in “Survivor Africa”, and also kept the tribe numbers the same (Rotu at 8, Maraamu at 5), though this may have been due to the uneven number of castaways left.  Still, I admire the producers for doing it that way (it seems fairer to me, somehow) and makes for a solid tribe switch.  The next “twist” wouldn’t come until the final 9, but it was a doozy, and what most proponants of the season hold up as its crowning moment.  At the final 9, the “Rotu 4 alliance”, consisting of John Carroll, Zoe Zanidakis, Tammy Leitner, and Robert DeCanio was in control, with Neleh Dennis and Paschal English believing themselves to be involved in the alliance.  However, with the first instance of the “answer questions, then chop down people to reveal the pecking order” challenge, Neleh and Paschal realized they were on the bottom, and so changed things up, allying with Kathy, Sean, and Vecepia to eliminate the Rotu 4.  This marked the first instance of a “Totem Pole” shakeup, where the people on the bottom of the alliance flip to further themselves (something that has been severly lacking in recent seasons).  It’s not the most exciting flip, but it was unexpected, and a solid example overall.  The next twist wouldn’t  come until the Final 4, but it’s what everyone remembers about this season.  At the Final 4, the target of the night (Vecepia) had won immunity, and the results of the vote were tied, with Kathy and Neleh each receiving 2 votes.  Here, it was revealed the new method for breaking deadlock ties.  Rather than the “Votes Cast Previously” method of seasons past, we now got into the “Purple Rock” method of breaking ties.  To briefly explain how this works, in the event of a deadlock tie, the person with individual immunity is immune, and the people voted for become immune.  The rest of the tribe pulls rocks, with the one who draws the purple rock being eliminated.  If this seems like a stupid method (in that the people voted for become immune, when clearly they weren’t playing a good enough game), it is, and is done to discourage ties, which do not, evidently, make for good tv.  The problem here, though, is that the method works for every number except 4, where you would have only 1 person draw rocks.  To rectify this, Probst had the two peoplvoted for draw rocks, as well as Paschal.  However, despite never having a vote cast against him, Paschal was the one eliminated, making for the first unisex final 3, and also sparked outrage from the fan community.  This is why later season switched to the fire building tiebreaker at the final 4, and good riddance, I say.  The final twist of the season was the first successful final immunity negotiation, where Vecepia agreed to jump off if Neleh would take her along.  Neleh agreed, and kept to her word, which was actually kind of interesting to see.

Overall, this season had few earth-shattering twists (that didn’t spark outrage), but could still hold it’s own in the department.

Score: 7 out of 10.

OVERALL

Marquesas, unfortunately, does not have one strong element to help the others.  Unlike previous locations, which had a strong theme, and were generally epic, Marquesas was just another island chain, with very little to separate itself from the group of other islands in the series.  The cast, the strongest element, had enough forgetable/unlikeable people that it can’t hold the series together, and the challenges were repetitive and weak.  The twists, however, might hold it up, depending on how you look at it.  This is part of what divides people: Do twists, in and of themselves, make a good season.  Probst doesn’t think they do, while Dalton Ross (one of the foremost “Survivor” experts, apart from myself) enjoys the season for it’s twists.  For me, I like the twists a good deal, but my relative dislike of the cast just drags the season down for me.  Still, it can be entertaining, sets itself apart in a few ways, and, if your patient, the season is fairly entertaining.

Also, just to end on a slightly humorous note: Rosie O’Donnel=bad choice to host the reunion show.  Probst and Bryant Gumble brought a dignity to the proceedings, and seemed appropriate, but Rosie just made it a big joke.

Score: 23 out of 40

ABSTRACT

Marquesas is soley for the “Survivor” enthusiast.  Hardly the most entertaining installment, it gave us very little in every category.  However, there are a few moments of excitement that make this season an ok watch, and given how much a certain character comes back in later seasons, those looking to understand the progression of “Survivor” should definitely watch Marquesas.