Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 3: Rise of the Eyebrow

Do not be fooled by the lameness of this opening paragraph. This was a fantastic episode, and I intend to do it justice. However, the best way to open talk about this episode involves spoiling who goes to Tribal Council, and while I’m not shy about referencing the outcome of an episode in my blog, I do try and keep it from the opening paragraph, so that those who want spoiler-free blogs can realize their error and look elsewhere. With that said, I shall now start a new paragraph, that shall hopefully be more on-point than this one.

It’s a good thing Chan Loh didn’t vote off the ER Doctor. I think Neal needs to have that eyebrow looked at. It there was ever any proof that the old adage of “If you keep making that face, it’ll freeze like that!” was true, Neal is it. That eyebrow didn’t come down ONCE during Tribal Council, and that can’t be comfortable.

But I’m jumping ahead to the slightly more mockable parts of this episode. Instead I ought to start off, like the episode, over at the To Tang tribe. Newly returned from Tribal Council, they’re not at all sure that voting off Jennifer was the right decision, due to keeping in relative challenge weakness. Scot in particular voices concern, in the process proving his “I don’t have brains.” comment from episode 1 by telling Alecia that he was the second vote for her, out of loyalty to Jennifer. Thankfully, once Alecia walks off, he’s at least smart enough to realize that Alecia now has him at the top of her hit list. He and Jason just shake their heads, showing how much they consider her worth in the game.

Sure enough, Alecia is off bashing Scot to Cydney, in the process bringing up the “He was a pro ball player, so he has plenty of money!” argument. Just when you thought we could avoid THAT old type of scene! Fortunately, though, Cydney is there to provide us with some welcome relief. Yes, Cydeny has finally taken a break from either having terrible bedside manner (episode 1) or just being at best mildly snarky (episode 2), and given us something to actually enjoy watching. Cydney admits that Alecia thinks of her as an ally. How this came about, she’s not sure, but she lets us know that she’s playing Alecia, and intends to stick with the guys. We’ll see this better later on, but Cydney really plays this off very well, such that Alecia doesn’t suspect a thing. Props to you, girl!

We head off to Gondol, so we can conclude our three-part miniseries of “Tai’s Hunt for the Idol”. Somehow, Tai once again sneaks off without the tribe seeming to notice (someone really needs to set a watch on him), and considers the problem of retrieving the key. Rather than bark up the wrong tree again (my resistance lasts only one blog), Tai decides to try the pole-building method indicated in the note. Because nothing can be easy for the man, though, the tool specifically given to help retrieve the idol has gone missing. Taken for firewood and burned, presumably. Undeterred, Tai does the logical thing of stripping down a stick to be thin enough to push the key out of the tube, all while giving an inspirational talk about how much he’s had to overcome in life. If this doesn’t clue you in to his eventual success, the obvious dramatic music should.

Key in hand, Tai retrieves the idol. Funnily enough, it’s in the box conveniently marked “Idol”. Ok, I get that CBS thinks we’re all idiots who need these things labeled for us, but, CBS, the fact is we simply don’t. Plus, having a box marked “Idol” makes it all that much easier for people to cotton onto the fact that someone else has found the idol. Makes it all the more conspicuous, I say. For once, though, the idol itself it not conspicuous, and I quite like it. Just a simple half of a yin-yang symbol with the tribe animal mascot on it (a snake for Gondol, a tiger for To Tang, and a crocodile for Chan Loh). Definitely idol-like, but small enough that it can be feasibly hidden. Excellent work, props department. Props to the props, as it were.

But that yin-yang symbol is more than just for looks, as we find out when Tai reads the rules of the idol. Initially he dismisses them, saying “I know this stuff.”, but must then pause when the new twist to the idol is revealed. Basically, idols this season work as they have since “Survivor Fiji” onward: you play them after the votes are cast, but before they are revealed, and any votes cast for you are nullified. However, because of their shapes, these idols can be combined. When connected, they form one “Super Idol” which works like it did on “Survivor Exile Island” and “Survivor Cook Islands” where it can be played after the vote. This twist has been much publicized before the season, and now I have a chance to talk about my opinion on it. Much like this season, I remain undecided. Unlike past “Super Idols”, this one is a bit less overpowered, as there is an incentive to not playing two idols together. After all, if you’re in a tight spot, they only save you one Tribal Council, whereas separately they could save you two. Additionally, it’s potentially not just rewarding idol hunting but also the social game, as you’ll most likely have to work together with someone to agree to play a “Super Idol” on one person. A tricky prospect, making the “Super Idol” potentially less overpowered. It’s the “potentially” here that worries me. The flaw in the “Super Idol” is that it works well as a twist, assuming no one ever has more than one idol. If someone has two, there’s nothing stopping them from letting everyone know that they can’t be voted out, and then running to the end of the game. Why do you think the “Super Idol” was gotten rid of after “Survivor Cook Islands”? It essentially gave Terry Deitz and Yul Kwan free passes to the end, and arguably gave Yul the win on “Survivor Cook Islands”! It was overpowered as all get out. Still, as long as no one ever has more than one idol, I’m ok.

As an aside, I find the name “Super Idol” to be lame. I think it’s the same problem I had with the name “Medallion of Power” from “Survivor Nicaragua”. It’s descriptive, but it feels very un-“Survivor”. I can’t come up with anything better, though, and it’s still a better moniker than “Tyler Perry Idol”, so I’ll let it slide.

And that was all before our lack of opening titles. Yeah, this episode is one of the good ones.

We continue our story progression at Chan Loh, where Liz and Peter are out in the water discussing how they want things to go, should they go to Tribal Council. After making the obvious point that Joe is far more Brawn than Brain, Peter and Liz agree that they need to keep the goats, in this case Debbie and Joe, around a bit longer. Neal is their main target, due to being “A snake.”, and talking more game than Aubry. Just in case he has an idol, though, the pair plan to split their votes. They’ll tell Debbie and Joe to vote for Neal, which they think the pair will do if only to save their own skins, while they vote for Aubry as a safety measure. Not a bad plan for the pair all things considered. They do a lot of insulting of the other people on their tribe, which rubs me a bit the wrong way, but it’s not too bad. Yet. It’s also interesting to see how the power in this tribe has switched from the beginning of the game. In episode 1, it seemed like Neal and Liz were calling the shots, bringing together the “Young People” alliance. In episode 2, we started to get a bit more independent thought from Peter, and Liz seemed to be getting her finger in multiple pies. Now, we see a complete flip, with three pairs of people squaring off, and it seeming like the relative oddballs of the group are now the safest ones. It’s frankly a fascinating progression, and I’m glad we were shown it so clearly.

Liz, however, seems to have forgotten her “Sound travels well over water.” advice from episode 1, and Debbie hears every word. Realizing this would only make her a pawn in the game, Debbie takes action. Ok, what she SAYS is she’s fed up with Liz’s “self-entitled attitude”, which in my opinion really only showed up this episode, but the point is there. For all the crazy talk, for all the socially unaware moments she’s had, Debbie is not to be underestimated. She is a PLAYER this episode, and quite a good one too! She correctly assesses that, unless an upset of power is enacted, she and Joe will be on the bottom. Since she and Aubry have something of a connection, she turns to her first. Admittedly Debbie keeps the talk somewhat low-key, framing it as an emotional connection between he pair, and making certain that Neal is connected with Aubry, but with how this tribe’s been winning, a slow burn is not necessarily a bad way to play it.

Back over at Gondol, because we haven’t hit the main points of Tai’s personality enough in the first two episodes, we need to yet AGAIN hear about his love for all living things. Gondol feels like chicken tonight, and so one of their two chickens is about to be sacrificed. Tai is upset about this. Look , I like Tai a LOT, the guy’s really grown on me. But after three episodes, the repetition of Tai’s confessionals is getting old. Thankfully, Tai keeps this one low key. He jokes with Caleb about freeing the chickens, and certainly has a good cry about it, but admits that the guys need their protein, and comforts himself by quoting one of the best Disney movies ever! To show his support, he even helps with the killing of the chicken. He cries about it afterward, but it’s not overblown or anything.

Actually, something new does happen in this scene, or rather as a result of this scene. Nick’s true sociopath colors start to shine through. And before anyone cries “Slander!”, Nick’s confessional about needing to only have the appearance of emotions rather than actually feeling those emotions is textbook sociopathy. Plus, he’s wrong. While one certain needs to be able to control their emotions on “Survivor”, one cannot separate them from the game. Like it or not, they’re a part of the game, and must be addressed as such. Nick uses his “appearance of emotion” to bash Tai for his emotion, which does not sit well with Anna, who more and more appears to be emerging as the leader of the women of Gondol. They’ve been needing a fourth for a while, and the debate seems to have finally given us a nominee. She talks with Caleb, who seems to be on board, finding this to be a strong alliance. Specifically, she wants to target Nick, since she correctly sees him as untrustworthy. Tai’s idol suspicion probably hasn’t gone away, but Nick is overall the more pressing threat. Good call on all their parts, except Nick’s.

Speaking of idols, it’s time for To Tang to actually have success on their particular idol hunt. It seems that, despite time spent actively looking, the way for Alecia to find anything is to stumble upon it accidentally. Like with Gondol’s idol, there’s a clue hidden in a knot of a tree, saying to dig at its base. So, Cydney and Alecia start digging. Who then should show up but Jason, out for a leisurely stroll, if he’s to be believed. He ses the pair digging and goes off. Having seeming found nothing, Cydney sends Alecia back to get a hoe to better dig with. Here, though, we see the newfound cunning of Cydney shine through. In actual fact, Cydney had dug up the box and the tool with the clue on it, and simply didn’t want Alecia to know. Once she’s gone, Cydney reads the clue, only then to rebury it so Alecia can’t find it. The pair head back to camp, seemingly in defeat, only for Cydney to spill the beans about the clue as soon as Alecia is out of earshot. Everyone springs into action, with Alecia hot on their trail. The only problem now, though, is that the tool cannot be found again. Cydney had to rebury it, and now it can’t be found. After quite an impressive footrace, Jason has found the key to the box, but can’t seem to get it. He and Scot hit upon the same idea as Tai, and find a stick thin enough to do the job, Jason thanking his lucky stars that he has a tall NBA player on his side in this case. But now they have a new problem. Basically, at this point, whoever gets the key gets the idol. And who should be right there but Alecia, waiting to grab the key as soon as it falls. As if it wants to add to the dramatic tension, the cylinder the key is on teeters for a moment before falling. After a truly epic scuffle, in which I’m amazed no one got hurt, Jason comes up with the idol, and Alecia falls into despair. I have to admit, this was a fun scene to do. While I prefer more strategic play to physical play on “Survivor”, the occasional bit of physical play is welcome, and this was spectacular by those standards. Plus, we got to see more of strategic, deceptive Cydney, and though I kind of brushed over it, she did a really good job hiding her motives, staying good with Alecia by telling her that Jason figured out the key location by watching them, rather than her giving it away. Evidently she really shouldn’t be messed with.

Scot and Jason read about the new “Super Idol” twist, and Scot makes a reference to the “Wonder Twins”. Ok Scot, one point for making a nerd reference, but one demerit because that reference was to the “Wonder Twins”.

Before we come to our challenge, let us once again appreciate what an excellent job of balancing various storylines this episode has done. Every tribe has had something interesting going on, and there’s real mystery as to who’s going to go to Tribal Council this evening. Barring, of course, that you read the second paragraph of this blog, in which case you know that Chan Loh loses, but in the challenge itself, it’s really tense.

And speaking of the challenge itself, chalk another one up to this season! Not only did they come up with a great challenge this time, they actually make it pretty original. Basically, each tribe will carry three sacks of rice through the water to a wall with a tiny hole in it. After stuffing the three bags through, the tribe must then carry them over a balance beam to a table, where they must use a knife to rip open the bags to find three balls. Once all the balls are found, one tribe member at a time must race to get a ball into a notch by maneuvering it through a swiss cheese board. First two tribes to get all three balls though successfully wins immunity. Granted, the swiss cheese part is taken directly from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, but since we therefore haven’t seen it to death, and it’s pretty challenging, I’ll give it a pass. The rest of the challenge is just AWESOME! Simple, but difficult, and very fitting for “Survivor”. They’ve worked with rice and knives before, but very rarely, and never in this way, so it’s cool to watch.

Ah, but the challenge gets even better from there. As you’d expect, reward is also at stake in this challenge, but it’s a bit different this time. Instead of the two winning tribes getting the same reward with various degrees of completeness, the winning tribe gets to choose between camp comfort in the form of pillows and blankets, or their luxury items. Not only is it refreshing to see luxury items on “Survivor” again, but having a choice of reward can often make for some good drama. Remember Russell Sawn overruling logic to “Take care of the ladies.” on “Survivor Samoa”? More of that, please! Also, Jason’s luxury item appears to be a Care Bear. It’s so oxymoronic, and I love it!

If the editing wasn’t enough to make the challenge tense, the actual challenge itself adds to the tension. It’s a very close one overall, with Chan Loh losing only by seconds. Granted, Gondol is ahead pretty much the entire time, so their win is no surprise, but Chan Loh and To Tang stay very close the entire time. To Tang has a slight lead carrying the bags of rice, but fall behind on the ball portion, a fact that Probst gleefully points out. Then, under the guidance of Jason, Cydney comes back to race against Debbie, and ultimately manages to get the ball in the hole mere seconds beforehand. It’s a real heart-ponding race. THAT, my friends, is how you do a challenge! Plus, since Gondol wisely chooses stuff that’s actually helpful to survival rather than luxury items, we will get more of the hilarity that is Jason’s Care Bear, the unofficial 19th contestant on this season.

Heading to the break, Peter makes a comment about how this loss is nothing big, and now he and Liz’s plan can be put into action, getting Neal out. I’m sure this in no way sets up a dramatic downfall for Peter and/or Liz!

Were I a lazy person (which I am), I would say that the scene of Chan Loh preparing for Tribal Council is pretty much exactly the same scene as we had with them earlier in the episode, only amped up. This is true, but I feel compelled to go into more detail about it. In case we didn’t get the message about their split-vote strategy, Peter and Liz yet again talk about their split vote strategy. To make sure no one is sorry for them, we get real intense scenes of them talking about how stupid the other players are compared to them, and how this consolidates their power. Frankly, it works. Even though the outcome is entirely obvious at this point, I really do want to see them get their comeuppance.

When the pair put their plan into action, Debbie puts her plan into action. Being a bit more aggressive this time, she fills in first Aubry and then Neal about Peter and Liz’s plans for the evening, which gets both of them on their side. Aubry criticizes both Peter and Liz for not being very good at emotionally connecting, a fact which is then reinforced by a scene of Peter being condescending towards Aubry, effectively ordering her how to vote.

Now, when I say that the outcome of this episode is predictable, in that it has been HEAVILY foreshadowed that either Peter or Liz will go, I mean it. You would think, then, that there would be no tension left for Tribal Council. Oh, but there is! You see, Aubry does not take Peter’s attitude very well. Up until this point, Liz had been the target, mainly because Debbie and Joe didn’t like her very much. Now, however, Aubry would rather have Peter go. Normally, I’d hate this since it is an emotional argument with regards to “Survivor” strategy. However, I’m ok with it for three reasons. First, it gives us much-needed tension for Tribal Council. Before, it was very clear that Liz would go. Now, there’s question of Peter or Liz. Second, and most important, Aubry DOES have strategic reasoning to back it up, pointing out that Peter would be more likely to flip come the merge. Third, I’m rooting for Aubry, so I’m inclined to support her decision. That said, I think sticking with Liz for the boot is the better choice. Frankly, worries about Peter flipping could just as easily be put on Liz, and in terms of their flip, Liz is more likely to be successful at it. Liz looks non-threatening, and is therefore more likely to be put in an alliance against you. Conversely, Peter looks like a threat to everyone, and so would have a harder time finding safe harbor in which to flip. Plus, assuming there’s no swap anytime soon, Peter is definitely more helpful in challenges.

Thankfully Tribal Council has an air of mystery about it, because for the first two thirds of it, it’s all pretty standard. The trouble is that Chan Loh is actually pretty smart, and plays their cards close to the chest, which does not a stand-out moment make. However, hilarity first ensues that you realize that Neal’s standard answer to every question lobbed at him amounts to “Enigmatic pontificating about the nature of the game with left eyebrow knowingly raised.” Not to say that these aren’t good answers. They get Probst off your case, but keep your cards close to the chest. When you realize he’s saying his answers with the EXACT same inflection and the EXACT same expression on his face, the same-y-ness of it all just makes me crack up! Go back and watch for it again, it’s great. Seriously, Neal, get that thing looked at.

On about the third try, though, Neal’s raising of the eyebrow gets some results. After making a pretty good comment about “Whose plan is going to get stuck to.”, Peter can take it no longer, and openly admits that he’s not sticking to Neal’s plan, pretty obviously telling him that he’s getting voted out. I thought, Peter, that you were supposed to be the smart one. I guess he feels confident enough to reveal his plan out in the open at Tribal Council, but even if you’re SURE things are on lock, that’s never a good idea. It make you seem arrogant, and makes it that much easier for others to turn the plan against you.

Case in point, as you’d expect, the vote goes against Peter and Liz. Which one, though? Even the episode doesn’t seem sure, as it comes down to a tie between those two and Aubry. Is this just going to be a “thing” with this season now? All first votes for a tribe result in a tie? Some would probably argue that this was a way to prevent idol mishaps screwing with the vote, and it may very well be that way. My take, however, is that this really was a case of three twosomes each voting independently. Neal and Aubry really wanted Peter out, but Debbie and Joe wouldn’t go along with it, so they forced a tie to get Neal to cooperate. I may be wrong, but that would be my suspicion, and it shows where the real power is in this tribe, since Liz is ultimately sent home. As a consolation prize, she gets her torch snuffed by… Joe Anglim of “Survivor Worlds Apart”! Or at least his scalp, anyway. Seriously, I’ve been meaning to comment on it for a while, but the snuffer this season has a magnificent man-bun. Clearly, someone as fabulous as Joe had to be scalped to make such a snuffer.

While Liz is definitely the smarter choice, for the reasons I outlined earlier, it is a shame to see her go as a fan. She was overall better at the game and more likable than Peter seems to be. True, this makes her more of a threat, but it also makes her more fun to watch. And while I don’t normally mention final words on this blog, I must take issue with Liz’s “The numbers didn’t lie to me, the people did.” comment. Liz, on “Survivor”, they’re basically the same thing. You got outwitted, just admit it.

Sad exit or no, as I said at the top of this blog, this was a FANTASTIC episode! Once again, we get an awesome challenge, real development on storylines across the board, fun action, and really smart gameplay! What more can you ask for from a season of “Survivor”?

According to the “Next Time On…” preview, you can ask for the much-publicized medical evacuation episode. think I saw a blue buff under the torso shown lying down in the previews. Here’s hoping it’s not Aubry that collapses!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 2: Fire Begins at Conception

You may recall that on last season, “Survivor Cambodia”, Stephen Fishbach kept commenting on how the “voting blocs” of that season were a new and unprecedented thing, indicative of that season. I’ve made it clear that, while this is an elevated form of gameplay very rarely seen, it’s not unique to that season, nor do I believe it marks an overall shift in gameplay. I bring this up because, for comparison, I’d like to bring up an incident that I believe HAS represented a shift in gameplay. Think back for a minute to “Survivor Blood vs. Water” episode 4, or as it may be better remembered, “The Timely and Much-Desired Exit of Brad Culpepper”. This is where Caleb, having heard that Brad wanted to keep the other tribe happy by voting off people whose loved ones were no longer there, realized he was an eventual target and campaigned, at Tribal Council, for Brad’s ouster. Now, talking strategy at Tribal Council is nothing new, nor was pleading for your life, but the crazy thing was, it worked. Up until that point, barring exceptions like Malcolm Freberg’s “Three Idol” play on “Survivor Caramoan”, strategy was done exclusively before Tribal Council. You had your plan in place going in, and you don’t deviate from it. Oh sure, there were exceptions to this rule. I’ve mentioned one of them just now. But by and large, conventional wisdom said that such pleas fall on deaf ears. That Caleb was able to work that situation out, I believe, has shaken things up. Not to say that people don’t go into Tribal Council with plans in place or anything, but it seems to me that since then, there’s been much more of a willingness to shake up plans at Tribal Council, immunity idol or no. Personally, I’m a big fan of this development. From a fan standpoint, it helps with unpredictability, which is definitely a plus, and since it’s really a new and more complex form of strategy, I see very little downside to this.

But at this rate, my introduction’s going to be longer than the blog itself, better hop right in. Our post-Tribal Council talk from last episode is less bashing of Darnell and more bashing of Alecia. True, she may have survived her first Tribal Council, but it was a very near-miss thing, which Jason makes no secret about. Despite presumably having learned her name, Jason still refers to Alecia as “Blondie”, which is sounding more and more derogatory each time I hear it. It’s pretty much the same complaints you heard last time: she’s weak, she does nothing around camp, blah blah blah. Not that Alecia helps her case a lot. To Tang has flint now, but can’t seem to get fire started even so. Jennifer seems to be the main contributor in this department, but Alecia is trying to help, looking for the “embryo” of the fire, which is only slightly less funny than John Palyok going on about “Hot Amber!” on “Survivor Vanuatu”.

In a somewhat unusual move, we actually get two camp scenes before our lack of an intro. Rather than build on, well, the alliance building at Gondol, we need more time devoted to Tai’s idol-hunting exploits. Not the worst plot line they could have followed, and given who goes to Tribal Council this episode, I can’t fault the show too much, but idol hunting exploits can get repetitive.

Fortunately, Tai is just pure fun. While the other five members of Gondol go for a swim, Tai stays on the beach, wondering if he should look for the idol or not. Learning from his mistake last episode, he’s worried about taking too long and being caught. However, in this situation, the clear choice is to go for the idol. The upside to Tai NOT looking for the idol would be that he had a chance to bond with his tribe, but seeing as he’s left on the beach all alone, I’d say that ship has sailed.

Getting good vibes from the place (or maybe just liking the feel of the trees), Tai returns to his old idol hunting grounds, trying out different trees this time around. I will resist making a “barking up the wrong tree” joke here, in particular because Tai actually barks up the RIGHT tree. He notices a semi-inconspicuous clue hidden in a knot of a tree, which tells him the idol is buried at the base of said tree. Tai gets to digging, only to discover that the note is a freaking LIAR! Well, at least it tells half-truths. The idol IS there, but locked in a small box. To open that box requires a key. Luckily, said key is nearby. Unfortunately, “nearby” in this case means “atop a 50-foot black palm tree”, and will require building a long pole to knock it off. This, in a sense, hearkens back to the old days when finding an idol was something like a scavenger hunt, leading you from clue to clue. I’m happy to see it back, though the building of the pole thing bothers me slightly. I think the issue I have is that, while the scavenger hunt could be a hard thing to hide, it was hideable. 50-foot poles are harder to hide.

Tai, however, takes what we might call the Ozzy Option (“Survivor Cook Islands”), and tries to just climb the tree. Sadly for him, being one with nature and respecting all living things does not grant you super tree-climbing powers, and so he’s forced to halt his idol-hunting efforts for the moment. Still, he does reference Ozzy, so the scene DID have the effect of making me like him more.

In order to keep parity, we head over to Chan Loh, which wastes no time in getting our promised “Debbie is crazy” scenes out of the way. Peter’s “Crazy Cat Lady” comment? Check. Debbie’s “We have the biggest frontal lobes!” cheer? Check. Oh, but we get added craziness, what with Debbie claiming to be an expert on everything yet continually showing no aptitude towards it. Yep, we’re definitely in full-on Coach (“Survivor Tocantins”) territory now. But, not content with mixing in just ONE older, crazier “Survivor” player, Debbie also has to drink the water without boiling it, insisting it’s safe. Ah yes, following the performances of Rudy Boesch and Sue Hawk on “Survivor All-Stars”. Truly, Debbie draws only from the finest of players. There’s not much more that can be said about Debbie’s craziness, so I will turn my focus to the first real shot of the water source we get. HOLY CRAP! That is a HUGE freaking water source! I know it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, but that water source is just so large and out-there that I think the image of it is permanently lodged in my brain.

Oh, but out of the cloud of nuttiness that is Debbie, a silver lining emerges. It actually produces some strategy talk. The way it was built up, it seemed like this would be a set-up for a “Debbie annoys everyone, she needs to go.” storyline. Certainly that seems to be how Liz is thinking. Peter, however, has a different take, noting that Debbie’s craziness likely means that she’s unintelligent/easily lead, and a good person to keep around. Not bad logic from Peter. After all, that’s pretty much what I’d be thinking were I out there. However, I look at her more as “Easy to beat in the end.” rather than “Mentally weak.” Crazy she might be, but that doesn’t mean she’s dumb. After all, Cao Boi Bui (“Survivor Cook Islands”) was one of the craziest contestants ever, yet he still independently came up with a vote splitting strategy to flush the idol.

Heading back to Gondol, it seems that, a mere two seasons after my mini-essay on homosexuality and “Survivor”, we have the beginnings of a bona-fide bromance on “Survivor”. Despite Tai having a boyfriend, he flirts with Caleb, even getting to the point of trying to kiss him to get some food off of his lip. The impression isn’t helped by the fact that the two have arguments that you’d expect an old married couple to have. Tai’s “Love of all living things.” comes into play again when Caleb wants to kill a monster of a hornet, but Tai doesn’t want him to. Of course, in reality, it’s not realistically leading to a real romance between the two. Caleb has no interest in getting into anything with Tai that way, and as he himself says “We don’t have people like Tai where I live.” To his credit, though, the guy takes it all in very good stride. This could very easily have turned into another “Brandon and Frank” (“Survivor Africa”) situation, where the two people from different worldviews just can’t see eye to eye, and we laugh at how funny it is. Here, we have two people who do have different worldviews, but instead work with each other, teach each other, and even get along in a sweet way. That’s really nice to see, particularly from Caleb’s end. Rather than conflict, we have growth, and it makes for a nice change.

Oh, and the impetus for all this? Tai saying that he wants to bond socially with his tribe, since getting the idol is out for now. Yeah, it looks sweet and all, but this is still a REALLY strange way of bonding with one’s tribe. For all intents and purposes, I’d say it works, but it’s unorthodox to say the least.

Turning to the social outcasts at Chan Loh, we see Debbie complaining to Joe about the lack of discipline at the camp, which Joe agrees with. Wow, she’s REALLY pulling hard from the Rudy playbook this time! Unfortunately for Debbie, though, she seems to have missed the one good part of the Rudy playbook. Specifically, that quote I always come back to, “I’ve gotta fit in. Me. Not them.” Rather than go this route, Debbie and Joe simply complain that camp isn’t run the way they want, and further isolate themselves as a result.

Speaking of which, now it’s JOE’S turn to complain about everything. Somehow, Chan Loh has managed to get their wood wet, their matches wet, and lost a bunch of their kerosene in the three days they’ve had their fire-making kit. I know there’s a limit to what you can do about the keeping stuff dry situation out there, but the kerosene thing? That’s just pathetic. Neal, for his part, is quick to blame Joe for this, saying that Joe poured about a third of it on the fire that first day, and then let it evaporate. Since Joe never provides an explanation for how to do things better, and merely complains, I’m forced to accept that no, Joe, you really DON’T know how to do things. You want to complain about how things are run? Fine. But then you need to either put up or shut at at things being done better. Joe, so far, has done none of that, and his complaining only serves to ostracize him further from the tribe. Given that Peter wants to keep Debbie around, I’d say that makes Joe target A-1 for elimination from Chan Loh.

Joe also seems to have joined Debbie in drinking the Kool-Aid. And by Kool-Aid, I mean unboiled water. Liz is pretty squeamish about it, which sets Joe off on a confessional rant about how worthless Liz’s “book smarts” are out on “Survivor”. Again, I would have no problem with this IF JOE ACTUALLY DEMONSTRATED GOOD SURVIVAL SKILLS! But no, he just complains about how everyone else is doing it wrong. Plus, again, I’m on Liz’s side for this one. Water out there has a lot of really bad stuff in it. Best to boil it before drinking.

Dehydrated, Liz goes into the water to take a moment to herself, and… WHOA! When did Liz and Aubry do a body swap? We don’t hear a peep from Aubry this episode, but Liz breaks down about the water situation. A reasonable thing to break down about, I’ll grant you, but Liz came across as stronger than that. Hope she’ll be ok. She does seem to pull herself together by the end of it all.

Speaking of the elements, we cut back to To Tang, who are quickly becoming out go-to people for confessionals about elemental harshness. Once again, Jason is our narrator, talking about how bad the sunburn is, and how he needs to rest. Oh come on, Jason, it can’t be that bad… OH MY GOD! Emergency! Emergency! We have reached John Cochran levels of sunburn! Repeat! John Cochran levels!

Yeah, Jason’s shoulder’s look pretty bad, but I shouldn’t single him out too much. After all, the rest of To tang doesn’t seem to be doing much work either. Oh, except for Alecia, but that’s because she needs to prove herself. She goes off to make fire and… wait, they STILL don’t have their fire started! Ok, there’s been some talk about whether or not To Tang was going to be a “train wreck tribe” for the season, and I was inclined to disagree. Now, however, I’m a convert. I know that if you haven’t practiced, starting fire with flint isn’t the easiest thing, but I’d expect pure random chance to give you SOMETHING by now! And that’s not the worst of it! Alecia works on the fire for FIVE HOURS before she gets anything! And even then, it’s only with Jason helping at the last minute that the fire gets started at all. That’s pretty pathetic, guys.

Out of this patheticness comes some good stuff, though. First off, Alecia. I wasn’t her biggest fan after her first episode, and I’m still not very big on her now, but I must give credit to her determination and her unwillingness to accept her fate. In harsh conditions like these, it can take a lot to keep that going, especially when you’re so obviously on the bottom. Second, it further shows Jennifer’s emotional side, as she has a newfound respect for Alecia for doing that for the tribe. Doesn’t make Jennifer the best “Survivor” player ever, but it’s nice to see. Third, and most important, it makes To Tang seem like one big happy family, and indicates that Alecia may NOT actually be on the bottom.

That newfound teamwork should really help To Tang since it’s CHALLENGE TIME! Like with the first immunity challenge, this one borrows from some previous challenges, but not in full concept, and after 32 seasons of this show, I’d imagine coming up with purely original elements is a bit difficult. The challenge this most borrows from is the first reward challenge of “Survivor Africa”, where the tribes transported long poles through a course, later assembling those poles to get to the top of a structure. This means that not only are we seeing a challenge element that, while reused, is rarely used today, but also that we’re borrowing from a season known for great challenges, and it’s hard to fault that. The gist of this challenge is that the tribes must carry a long log through a series of obstacles to get in in a finish space. Once there, they must untie a ball and rope on the log to get said ball to a slingshot, where the ball must be launched to knock over two targets. First two teams to knock over both targets win immunity and various amounts of fishing gear. This one is a really big challenge, and relatively unique as well. It’s a bit simpler than last episode’s challenge, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s grueling and epic-looking, and that counts for a lot.

One major disadvantage this challenge DOES have, though, is predictability. Last episode did a FANTASTIC job of giving us strategy from all sides, meaning anyone could lose. This time, the only real strategy development came from Chan Loh, pretty much guaranteeing that they’re going to Tribal Council this time.

At first, the challenge seems convinced that this is the case as well. Between Chan Loh being slightly behind Gondol and To Tang from the outset, and Debbie further cementing her “crazy” status by cheering like a madman from the sidelines awkwardly. Gondol manages to keep their lead, but a fumble by To Tang puts Chan Loh back in it at the untying portion of the challenge. It’s a very close race, but after Gondol takes first place, some sharp shooting by Peter sends To Tang back to Tribal Council again. Ok, points for unpredictability, show, but we got the LEAST from To Tang strategy wise this episode. Perhaps you’re setting stuff up for later, and I’m certainly not saying that what we got pre-challenge was BAD, but it feels like none of it mattered, and now you have to cram in all that strategizing after the challenge.

Yeah, I know that there may simply not have been much strategizing to show at To Tang, but these editors are clever. I’m sure they could come up with something.

As we leave the challenge, Jason complains about how they’re set to be the worst tribe in “Survivor” History. Ah, that old and tried hyperbole. Don’t worry Jason, you’ve still got two episodes to go before you hit Matsing levels.

Back at To Tang camp we get, what else, more complaining about Alecia from Jason and Scot. Ok, I’ve reached my boiling point on this. Again, I’m no fan of Alecia’s but these guys just keep making the same points over and over again, and some of them don’t even make sense! I mean “Alecia doesn’t pull her weight around camp?” She made the fire!

(The door to Matt’s house breaks down)

MATT: What the… wait why am I surprised by this any more? It’ll be Jason this time won’t it?

(Enter Jason)

JASON: Well, technically, I made the fire, you know. So yeah, she’s not pulling her weight.

MATT: Overall, yes, Alecia could be doing more. But YOU did not make the fire. You showed up in the last five minutes to lend a hand. Effectively, you kill-stole a fire.

JASON: That’s my bounty-hunter skills, man!

MATT: Look, bounty-hunter skills or not, you’re just plain being rude. We get it. You’ve got an alliance. Alecia’s not a part of it. Stop driving that point into the ground.

JASON: What else is there to talk about?

MATT: Oh, I don’t know, ANYTHING else?

JASON: Ok, well then, let’s hear some more about my sunburn.

(Matt exits in a hurry).

Well, after that interruption, we get confirmation of what I said all along: that To Tang would be the no-nonsense tribe. Sure, they got an alliance together, but there’s a LOT of pressure from each other to stick with it, and very little tolerance for lying. Alecia provides the best evidence for that. When asked by Jennifer “What’s the best thing to do on ‘Survivor’?”, Alecia’s initial answer is “Be honest.” Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I doubt someone so shadily hiding whether or not they have the idol (as we saw last episode) would say that honesty is best on “Survivor”. Unlike Debbie and Joe, Alecia is adapting to her situation. Scheming won’t work on To Tang, so she’s changing up her perception.

Scheming, however, may be the order of the day. Further being ruled by her emotions, Jennifer is not happy about voting Alecia off. Like me, she’s both impressed at her determination, and fed up with the guys attitude towards her. With Darnell gone, the women have a majority, and conspire to vote off Jason. Actually, not a bad plan for any of them. At the moment, it’s pretty clear that Scot and Jason have all the power on this team. Those two are most likely sticking together. True, they’re easily the two strongest people left on the team, but the strength part of challenges really hasn’t been their problem, and now’s pretty much the last chance until a swap for anyone else to seize power. Yeah, you might lose some more, but again, tribe swap. Anything can happen.

Despite stumbling onto a good strategy, Jennifer starts to have third thoughts after talking with Scot. While she wasn’t happy with either of the boy’s attitudes towards Alecia, she was more angry at Jason (hence his being the target), and thinks that perhaps risking offending Scot isn’t such a good idea. She floats this to Cydney, who at this point is just fed up with all the flip-flopping.

Well, for the short time-frame given, we’ve got some good misdirection heading into Tribal Council. And oh boy, what a Tribal Council it is!

Probst wastes no time in jumping on the strategy of voting, noting that Alecia, as the other vote-getter from last time, is the obvious choice. On the other hand, he floats the possibility of a women’s alliance straight to Jennifer, further lending credence to the idea that Probst has some knowledge of what happens at camp. Now, Jennifer could play this off with a coy half-truth, hinting at what she wants to do without drawing suspicion anymore. For the sake of drama, she doesn’t. Instead, she admits that she’s up in the air, not sure of how she wants to vote. Since she told Jason and Scot that she was firmly in the “Vote for Alecia” camp, this causes some FANTASTIC fireworks! Suddenly, nobody knows where they stand, and they start to scramble. To her credit, Jennifer does try and talk her way out of it, mainly by lying through her teeth. She claims that the women’s alliance was all Alecia’s idea, despite this not being the case, as it’s the only way to get the cloud of suspicion off of her. Alecia, though, also capitalizes on this opportunity, denying Jennifer’s lies and trying to cast aspersions of disloyalty. Jennifer counters with a plea for strength in the tribe, saying she’s always stood behind that value. The tribe, however, remains unconvinced. Scot in particular says she needs to make him trust her again. Jennifer somehow accomplishes this by standing up on her seat. Not sure what good that does, but it looks cool. Also, since we don’t have enough classic “Survivor” comparisons, the mistrust and pleading from Jennifer reminds me of the situation Ami was in for her boot episode on “Survivor Micronesia”.

The votes are in, and in another parallel to the aforementioned Ami situation, Jennifer’s pleas fall on deaf ears. She managed to convince Scot, but as he himself admits, he’s not known for being smart. She goes home, and while I did find her likable and will miss her, I think that was the right decision. She was just too volatile for this tribe, and wasn’t particularly necessary. Still, when she wasn’t being overly emotional, she had some game, and I’ve definitely got a soft spot for her. Credit also to To Tang as a whole: While they do value honesty and sticking to the plan (further evidence why Jennifer needed to be voted off: she didn’t follow that), they are, at least willing to change it up at Tribal Council. Not only is that a smart way to play, but it makes for a more interesting game.

This episode was still really good, but mostly for the back half. Not that the stuff we got pre-challenge was bad, but since we spent the least substantive time with the tribe going to Tribal Council, it felt a bit pointless, especially when last episode did such a good job of balancing good screentime for every tribe. Still, what an exciting back half, man! Say what you will about To Tang, they do make for a fun Tribal Council. Since I suspect they’ll be going to a lot more of them in future, look forward to more excitement next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 1: The Puzzle Love Position

Come on in guys, and assume the position. Much like Debbie makes puzzles get in the love position, so I make blogs get in the love position. In any case, welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to! We’ve got a very up-in-the-air season this time around. It doesn’t sound promising, but if this episode proves anything, there’s hope for even the most hopeless cases, so don’t give up just yet.

As a quick aside, let me note that this premier episode is 90 minutes, as opposed to the usual standard 60 minutes for regular episodes. I bring this up because, especially after this episode, I feel like 90 minutes is sort of the perfect length for a premier episode of “Survivor”. Premiers need to be longer than regular episodes, since in most cases we’re getting to know 16-20 people we’ve never met before, and that takes a while. You don’t want every premier to be 2 hours, though, since that seems extra-special. Hence, 90 minutes is probably for the best.

We start off with our usual over-the-top Probst narration, but I have to admit it feels a bit lackluster this time around. I think it’s because, rather than start off with his usual “This is (location) narration, he talks a bit about the 18 people competing first, and then goes on to describe, in great detail, how TOUGH this location is, how it will wear out our competitors this season. Not to say that this sort of Probst narration was ever absent from previous Probst narrations, but the fact that it’s what’s emphasized rather than the people, is not a good sign. Oh, Probst talks about the people, but compared to how he talks about the environment, it’s clear that the survival aspect is what’s overall going to be emphasized on the season, and that’s not a good thing. I’m sure there’s a subset of people out there who watch “Survivor” for the actual survival parts of it, but the game is at its most interesting when it’s about people mentally and physically competing against each other, not about people trying to hack it in tough environments. If you emphasize the latter, you imply that the former is too weak to hold a season together, and that’s not a good thing. Now, some might argue that medevacs, in and of themselves, are not bad things. After all, my favorite season, “Survivor Micronesia” had two, plus a quit due to the toughness of the environment. However, “Survivor Micronesia” had the main draw of returning players and great/ridiculous strategy we’d never seen before. The effect of the environment was just the icing on the cake. Here, it’s being built up as the cake, and that’s not what the vast majority of the audience is tuning in for.

We do eventually get to the contestant interviews and… they’re boring. Pretty bog-standard stuff you’d expect when you’ve got ANOTHER “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” season, with each side talking about their respective attributes and how those will win the game. Nick’s arrogance is on full display, but we already knew that was coming. The only highlight of these interviews, before the marooning really gets going, is Debbie, who has a great quote about how puzzles “Get into the love position for her.” Already, I like Debbie, if only because she’s obviously going to be a great quote machine for the season. I was laughing my ass off at that one. Which leads me to ask: Why was THIS not the title for the episode? Don’t get me wrong, the actual title (“I’m a Mental Giant”), is not bad, but this is a missed opportunity, folks! You could have had one of the great premier episode titles of “Survivor”, and instead you go with one that’s ok at best.

Things do improve slightly with the marooning, which is the usual “scramble to get supplies off the boat in a set time limit” start, and as one would expect, we get some delightful chaos out of it, but it’s getting old. In particular, since we JUST saw this last season, and that marooning at least had a twist on top of the supply scramble to change things up a bit. This, again, just feels standard.

Our humor highlight of this particular scramble is Tai Trang, one of many people to go after chickens. Unlike others, though, Tai isn’t going after the chicken as a source of eggs or protein, though. No, Tai tells us he’s a “friend to all living things”, and that he’s trying to keep the chicken safe. Um, Tai, you do realize this is “Survivor” right? You do know what happens to chickens on “Survivor”, don’t you? They’re sacrificed. It’s inevitable. Even the guy named “Chicken” on “Survivor China” got the axe first, probably because he called himself “Chicken”!

We set off to our camps with Debbie’s oh-so-delightful narration asking us who’s a good swimmer. Yes, much as I like Debbie’s quotes, they get old really fast, and I’ll be getting into my irritation in that regard a bit later.

First, however, we must check in with To Tang… Oh, excuse me, “Brawn”. Evidently our feeble minds are too weak to comprehend which tribe is “Brawn” as opposed to “Brains” or “Beauty”. Good lord, the FIRST “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” got this one right! Look, I’ll make a quick reference to which tribe is which the first time I talk about each of them, but as always, I’m going with official tribe names from then on. They just sound cooler. To Tang actually starts out pretty well. They take a minute to get to know one another, asking where each is from and what they do for a living, and all seem pretty copacetic before heading off to do shelter building. We also see that they’ve got good senses of humor, or at least Scot does. Our former NBA start mistakenly says that there are 5 members of To Tang when there are actually 6, and immediately quips that he’s not smart. After all, he’s on the “Brawn” tribe. Witty and self-depricating. I like this guy. Plus, I believe he may be the first former professional sports player to NOT try and hide the fact that he played professional sports. Is that a smart thing? Not necessarily, but seeing as how his tribe doesn’t seem to mind to much, I’m not counting it against him yet. Plus, it spares us the “Pro Ball Player tries to hide his past.” storyline, which can be interesting, but by now has become old hat.

We then cut over to Chan Loh, our “Brains” for the season, who waste no time in trying to separate themselves from the “Survivor Cagayan” brains tribe, by, well, acting brainy. They’ve certainly got the lingo down better, making jokes about running regression analyses on “Survivor” in the first five minutes. Peter has a pretty good showing here as well. Looking at him for about five seconds, you can tell he looks like President Obama, and he made a big deal out of it in his pre-season videos, about how much it annoyed him. Sure enough, Debbie comments on it early in the game, Peter’s first real test of interpersonal interaction. He takes it really well, just playing along with the comment, and noting privately that if his looking presidential makes people want to get out of his way, that’s fine by him. Good, solid early gameplay.

Now, however, we turn to the bad gameplay that is Debbie, who despite being hilarious, did not have a very good showing tonight. After talking about all the careers she’s had in her life (we’ll get back to that in a bit), she brags about being able to start fire like that (snaps fingers). That’s a bold claim on “Survivor”, and if you can back it up, it makes you a hero, and earns you a lot of stock out of the gate. If you can’t, you look like an idiot. Guess which camp Debbie ends up in? Yep, her attempt at fire making goes about as well as most attempts at fire making before flint enters the equation, and it doesn’t look good for her. Neal, for one, is unimpressed, though Neal seems to have something of a semi-pessimistic attitude. We’d gotten some quotes about how being a “Brain” was a good thing, notably from Lis, but Neal is the first one to make the fair point that being a “Brain” has aa stigma attached to it that may make you a target. While pessimistic, this is actually a pretty accurate assessment of matters, and Neal has a lot of other little insights this episode that make me really like him.

Last, but not least, we get our “Beauties” for the season, the Gondol tribe. As I predicted, Gondol is probably the most intriguing of the bunch as of this first episode. They may have had bonding scenes when they first got to the beach, but we don’t see them. Instead we drop right into shelter building. That’s ok, though, because the politics of shelter building actually play a big part in what makes this tribe interesting. Sadly par for the course, the guys generally are lifting heavy things while the girls are weaving palm fronds on the beach. The girls, though, are better multitaskers, as they talk and plot while weaving palm fronds. They find that they are all of like minds in this game, and agree to stick together against the guys, bringing one in as an extra vote. A pretty good alliance for them, it must be said. The numbers are too few for them to work against each other, and they seem to be three of the strategically smartest people in the whole game in general, and their tribe in particular. Working together, they could really run this season to an easy victory. They discuss the possibility of the guys plotting against them, as Nick asks Tai what he thinks about that possibility. That falls into nothing, however, as Tai has bigger concerns. Specifically, he has conservation concerns. It’s decided that the trunk of a tree needs a notch cut in it for their shelter, and sends former “Big Brother” contestant Caleb into a hacking frenzy. This upsets Tai, who compares it to someone flaying the skin off of a person. The hilarious thing about all this is that it’s clear that Caleb has absolutely zero fucks to give about this, telling Tai that he’s really whacking at the tree with a huge grin on his face. Tai gives us a lengthier confessional about his love of nature, and I start to worry that this sort of thing will get him voted off early. However, Tai then wins a lot of my respect by saying that he’s going to need to tone it down to win this game. He’s following the Rudy Boesch (“Survivor Borneo”) maxim of “I’ve gotta fit in. Me. Not them.” which I love to see, especially since it’s so rarely followed these days. He seems to mean it as well, since we then see him cutting off some tree branches with no whinging or moaning on his part.

Following a circular pattern, we head on back to To Tang, where the harsh environment that Probst claims to be the focus of the season, as even Jason (yeah, apparently Kyle Jason goes by his surname), the oh-so-tough bounty hunter, is getting beat by the heat and sunburn. As he’s quick to tell anyone, though, he’s still doing a lot better than Alecia, or “Blondie” as he calls her. While almost everyone on To Tang is visibly buff in some way, Alecia is the odd person out. The one of these things that is not like the others. It doesn’t help that she appears to be doing very little around camp, leading to a lot of gossip. Unsurprisingly, tough guys Jason and Scot agree that she has to go, with Jason evidently pulling in Cydney and Jennifer as well. Jason, in a very good confessional, though, admits that these two person alliances he’s forming are all alliances of convenience. They’re truthful when he needs them to be, which implies flexibility and a willingness to play the game, a good sign overall.

Darnell, we find, may also be in on the alliance. He’s not as aggressive as Jason, preferring a slower build to an alliance, merely talking with Cydney and the pair of them agreeing to warn the other if their name starts getting tossed around. Initially, Darnell is another one that I like. He’s taking it slow, building natural but more trusting alliance. Hell, starting out with a “Warn each other.” type deal is exactly how I’d play initially, if I ever got to go on. It’s a good early alliance foundation, but not so firm that it bogs you down or engenders feelings of betrayal early on should you switch. Plus, the guy is charming as hell. Take, for example, an incident where he heads into the water to use the bathroom. The rest of the tribe thinks he’s going too near the camp beach for that sort of thing. This could very easily have turned out to be a strike against Darnell, but he makes jokes and laughs about it, and no one seems to really hold that against him. True, part of that is due to the easygoing, no-nonsense nature of To Tang, but Darnell knows how to go with the joke, and that can count for a lot on “Survivor”.

It seems bonding waited until during shelter building at Gondol. We see everyone sharing their life stories, and Tai talks about escaping from Veitnam by boat, which is a pretty cool story overall. Caleb makes a crack about Tai’s being on the “Beauty” side of things, which is obvious enough, but makes him look like a bit of an ass. The real juicy stuff, though, comes from Anna and Julia, who early on seem to be the leaders of the female alliance taking over Gondol. The two bond particularly closely, agreeing to stick together until the final two. Anna in particular seems to be calling the shots, suggesting that Tai be brought in as the fourth alliance member. This makes sense. Apart from being the least “bro-y” of the guys, Tai is pretty useful around camp, it seems. The chickens of Gondol escape, and after 2/3rds of them are rounded up, Tai comes up with a method allowing the chickens to roam while still keeping them confined. That, Tai, is how you use your respect for all living things to your advantage: contribute to camp life in a way that makes people respect you.

Tai isn’t the only contender, though. Julia outs Caleb as a former “Big Brother” contestant, which might have turned people against him. After all, he’s already got fame and a certain amount of fortune, so why keep him around? However, it seems Caleb’s legacy from “Big Brother”, apart from the “Beast Mode Cowboy” nickname, was as a trustworthy guy, which is a pretty big plus when forming your alliance. The two have a good conversation with him, and his fate is left up in the air.

Joseph, the 71 year old of Chan Loh, gets his standard “I’m old but I can hack it.” confessional out of the way so we can get to the much more intriguing Debbie. The first thing to note in her confessional is what her occupation is listed as. In her initial confessional, the one where she talked about all her occupations, her job was listed as “Retired Army Colonel”. I may have the rank wrong, but the point is, her next confessional lists her job as “Waitress”. Later on, her job will be listed as “Chemist”. All these are occupations she says she’s had over the years, and I LOVE this gag! It’s subtle, but a hilarious little thing to watch for this season! It’s like the “Former Federal Agent?” designation for Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”). Same sort of little joke. The only way it could be funnier is if her job designation cycled through all of her occupations during each confessional, instead of switching to a new one each confessional. As it stands, though, it’s still great. Less good, though, is the content of her confessional. Big surprise, she and Joseph, as the older couple, are the work horses, focussing on surviving the elements before playing the game. Debbie claims that she and Joseph plan to be around for a while, since both of them are wiley, but I’m not sure that’s the case. Debbie, in case I haven’t made it clear, is not coming off very well so far. She’s making outrageous claims a la Benjamin “Coach” Wade of “Survivor Tocantins”, but to me, she comes off overall like another Debbie. Specifically, she reminds me of Debb Eaton of “Survivor The Australian Outback”. It might just be their similar accents, but I think there’s some similarities in personality as well. Both are very loud women who seem to rub the tribe the wrong way, making suggestions that don’t get followed, and socially just don’t fit in with the tone of the tribe. Since Debb was the first one out her season, she’s not exactly the person whose game you want to emulate.

Sure enough, Neal and Lis start talking about how this is a “Young Person’s Tribe”, which is a bit ironic since overall Chan Loh is actually older than the other tribes this season. Nevertheless, the two agree that the older people just don’t fit in very well, and ought to be the ones to go. Neal talks with Peter and he agrees, with Aubry presumably brought in off-screen somewhere, and the young person’s alliance is born. Not a bad alliance. It’s pretty standard “Survivor” fare, with the like-minded people bonding together against the outliers, emphasized this time by a nice shot of Debbie and Joseph lounging on the shore while the other four are out at sea. I do like how it’s brought together, though, as Neal shows some pretty good manipulation on his part. He’s pretty clearly the ringleader, a role I didn’t expect for him, but partially due to Peter not stepping up as much as I thought he would. He doesn’t seem like it though, talking individually and confidentially to bring people together. It’s subtle, but he seems like he’s overall pretty persuasive, and I can still see him doing pretty well overall.

Breaking with our “three tribe scenes, then commercial” standard, we look in on Gondol again, as Tai actually pretty smoothly gets the group to continue working while he looks for the idol or an idol clue. Showing some “Survivor” acumen, Tai notices three conspicuous dead trees in the middle of the path to tree mail, and so starts digging them up to look for the idol Given that his search is ultimately fruitless, it may just be his love of trees, but the logic is there. Sadly, he digs too deep, and is therefore gone so long that his tribe starts to suspect something is up. They go after him, and we cut to commercial. Cliffhanger!

Picking up right where we left off, the others find him. Tai tries to cover his tracks, but no one really believes him, and Anna says that he’s no longer trustworthy. Sounds like Caleb just got a fast-track into the alliance.

But enough strategy! Time for more talk about the harshness of the environment. Sadly, my girl Aubry isn’t taking it very well, and has a big of a freak-out. She’s not doing that badly physically. As Lis says, her lips aren’t chapped or anything. No, Aubry has basically been caught up in her worry about the environment, and is now worrying about worrying. As an inveterate worrier myself, I can sympathize, and the tribe as a whole seems very comforting. Not surprisingly though, they’re privately concerned. Debbie speculates that this may be more than Aubry bargained for. More worrying is Lis, Aubry’s supposed ally, who says that this may be a sign of instability further down the road, making for a bad alliance-mate. Aubry may not be out, since she seems to pull herself together, but it looks like she may be on the bottom of the alliance at least, if not a target for elimination. Also, here we get our one overt call-back to “Survivor Cagayan” where Neal wonders if this may be history doomed to repeat itself, with one person disrupting camp life. Neal, I like comparisons to past seasons as much as the next guy, but that’s really stretching it. Aubry’s in a bad spot, but she’s no J’Tia.

To Tang, meanwhile, is not suffering from the heat so much as it is from bugs. Ear bugs, specifically. After an establishing shot of a HORRIFYING huge bug to take us to camp, we see Jennifer wandering the beach in pain, unable to sleep. Some sort of bug crawled into her ear earlier in the day. She paid it little mind, thinking it would crawl out of its own accord. Instead, it seems to be burrowing into her ear, causing such intense pain that she can’t sleep. When a commercial break takes us to the next day, she’s seriously worried about her potential performance. The rest of her tribe is as well, though more in the “We need to win” vein than anything else. Thankfully, while Jennifer is trying to rest, the maggot or whatever it is, comes up for air. The tribe seems to be treating it in a calm and collected manner, at least until Cydney starts hollering about how ugly it is. Excellent bedside manner, Cydney! Scot does manage to pull it out and crush it, though, making Jennifer feel a million times better. Which is good, because it’s CHALLENGE TIME!

Before getting into the challenge itself, though, let me first compliment this episode on GREAT storytelling so far. Each team has had some talk about alliances and who should/shouldn’t go first, so each one seems like a plausible candidate for Tribal Council attendance. More importantly, though, they’ve made each story INTERESTING! No matter how it turns out, we should get a good Tribal Council. There’s no one tribe where I think “Aww, we have to go back to THIS storyline?!”. Ok, To Tang is maybe not as interesting, and Gondol may have the most intricate dynamics, but no one’s slouching, and that’s not always the case.

As for the challenge itself? Kick-ass! Starting out on a platform, each tribe swims to a boat. Once all six are in, one tribe member dives down to untie four oars under the water. Once untied, the boat must be taken to shore. Here comes the cool part. The boat must them be pushed on shore and give WHEELS to pull it up the beach. Once it hits a certain point, tribe’s have a choice: they either remove a box that has puzzle pieces. or a box of things to stack from a wobbly platform. First two tribes to complete either of the two tasks win immunity. While the addition of fire is always nice for first immunity challenges, this is still a great showing. The boat part is standard enough, but the adding of wheels is an awesome change-up from what we usually see, and the addition of a choice in how to do the challenge is a great dilemma that the show needs to do more of. On top of that, while there are some parts that only two people do, the tribe stays together for the most of it, which is always a plus in my book. Really, the only way this challenge could be made better would be if one tribe or the other had chosen to take the stacking route. All three taking the puzzle is a bit lame, but understandable.

The first tribe to finish wins a full fire-making kit, while the second tribe wins only flint. Pretty standard stuff for three-tribe seasons. More important, though, is immunity, and to go with our kick-ass challenge, we have a kick-ass immunity idol. A little buddha-looking guy sitting atop a bull with bones sticking out everywhere. It’s like a weird hybrid of the immunity idols from “Survivor Fiji” and “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, and it works really well. The best part? It LOOKS like one idol, but comes apart into separate idols, and STILL looks cool. Multiple idols for the past few seasons haven’t really done that, and as my frequent readers will know, I’ve missed it dearly. To have it brought back here is just the icing on the cake.

It seems that fate dictates that one tribe should have a horrible start at the first immunity challenge of a “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” season, though this one at least changes it up. Chan Loh actually starts out pretty well (though I initially worry about their chances since Aubry talks about needing to prove herself, implying that she may fail and they go to Tribal Council), and it’s To Tang that has the major screw-up. Darnell agrees to be the diver for To Tang, only to lose the mask immediately after diving. When you’ve got complicated knots to undo, this is no small loss. Gondol ultimately gets out first, with Chan Loh not too far behind, though it’s worth noting that Gondol changed out divers a few times, meaning they had fresh strength, whereas my girl Aubry got all four paddles for Chan Loh, the only member of one tribe to do all the diving. Fortunately for To Tang, they don’t end up quite as far behind as Luzon did at their first challenge. The boats are heavy and hard to get up the beach, so they’re able to catch up there, as you expect for people labeled “Brawns”. In the end we get some great shots of tribes trying to force their boats up the beach, and it all seems to come down to the puzzle, with Chan Loh ultimately arriving first and Gondol lagging behind. Aubry and Lis work on the puzzle, and solve it pretty quickly, giving Chan Loh the first victory. Score one for Aubry! She really rallied against her earlier perceptions, at least in my book. We don’t get to see what her tribe thinks of her now, but they seemed pretty happy for her, so I’d imagine she’s working her way back deeper into the fold. In the end, it’s a pretty close competition between To Tang and Gondol, possibly one of the closest in the history of the show. It’s all a matter of which tribe can orient their piece the correct way to go in, but Gondol gets it just earlier than To Tang, possibly a result of Alecia copping out at one point. As I said, probably the worst of the three outcomes, since To Tang had the least strategy overall, but that’s a relative comparison. There’s still interesting stuff going on there.

When you lose your tribe a challenge on “Survivor”, trying to deny it can be bad, but you need to be careful how you own up to it. Frame it like a one-time thing, and try to turn the focus on to something else. Do NOT follow Alecia’s example here of insisting that it was your fault and offering little to no explanation or justification. Also, do NOT do what Darnell does and give blame to yourself when there was already another scapegoat available. It’s one of the few missteps of the night, for both of them, but in Darnell’s case it’s probably not fatal. After all, Alecia was supposed to be the target anyway, and her being partly responsible for the challenge loss should just seal her fate.

But no, it seems more’s going on at To Tang than initially indicated. That, or Darnell’s screw-up with the mask just really pissed Jason off, because Darnell is now on the chopping block, according to the powers that be. Not if Alecia has anything to say about it, though! When both Scot and Jason try to tell her that she’s safe for tonight, and to cut the drama, she just keeps on talking, trying in vain to justify her existence on the island, and doing a very poor job of handling questioning about the hidden immunity idol. Hey, that’s another good point. Where HAS the talk about the hidden immunity idol been from To Tang? Not that they shouldn’t be talking about it, but this is the first we’ve heard of that being a factor, and now suddenly it seems like a big deal. Could have brought this up earlier, you know.

Alecia’s other negative factor is Cydney. You’ll recall that she and Darnell had a loose alliance, and her personal dislike of Alecia only deepens her resolve to save Darnell. That’s good; she now has time to talk to the tribe and switch things back… Oh, wait, she’s going to wait and say her piece at Tribal Council. Don’t get me wrong, Cydney, it’s becoming more fashionable to do that on “Survivor”, and it certainly makes things more dramatic, but in terms of smart strategy, better to get things sorted out BEFORE Tribal Council.

Let me pause here for a minute, because up until Tribal Council, I was LOVING the art direction of this season. I’ve already professed my love for the immunity idol, and the buffs this season have been pretty. But Tribal Council itself just rubs me the wrong way. There’s only so many times you can do the tree house/city on water concept before it gets repetitive, “Survivor”, and you’ve met your quota. Admittedly, the large amount of blank space behind the contestants does make this Tribal Council stand out a little bit from the rest, but it just feels repetitive overall, and that’s a shame. Even the things AT Tribal Council are pretty interesting. The torches are decent, and I really like the urn this season. It continues the bull motif we’ve been seeing, and it has this great voodoo/tribal drum feel to it. Shame that Tribal Council itself is so lackluster.

If the aesthetics of Tribal Council fail to impress, though, the events of Tribal Council do much better. Jason makes no secret that Darnell and Alecia are on the chopping block, which opens the floodgates to the “Bashing Darnell” segment of the episode. Pretty much everyone lays into Darnell for his mistake, and while Alecia does get some flak for her cop-out on the puzzle, the bulk of the loss seems to be placed on Darnell, which Probst comments on repeatedly. Yeah, don’t know what it was, but Probst seemed a bit off at Tribal Council tonight, basically repeating himself in terms of phrasing and harping on similar topics, to the point where it seemed redundant. He had a good moment where he described Cydney’s movements during Alecia’s defense, but other than that, it felt like Probst was a bit off of his game tonight. Maybe he was sick? Anyway, Darnell doesn’t do a very good job defending himself, kind of blandly saying that he’ll do better, so Cydney comes to his defense. She doesn’t really do much herself, but her support does convince Darnell to be a bit more aggressive in his own defense, and when he puts his mind to it, he does a damn good job! He really pulls at the heartstrings, talking about the hardships of his life and how much he craves a second chance, such that he has both Jennifer and Jason talking about switching the vote back to Alecia. Since we head to the vote shortly after, and we can bet that both Cydney and Darnell will also be voting for Alecia, it seems like Alecia may be going home. In a surprising twist for the first Tribal Council, though, we have a tie, an actually “Survivor” first! I wonder why Probst didn’t hype that fact up? On a revote, it seems Darnell’s plea fell on deaf ears, and so he’s the first to go. It’s a shame, really. I think he had more game in him than we got, and at least he did more to help himself than Alecia. Plus, since he fits in better with the group, I think he’d have been better to keep around in the long run. Still, it made for an exciting Tribal Council, so props there!

This is an interesting first episode for me. I’ve been very back and forth on this season, and I hoped the first episode would give me some indicator as to the season as a whole. I liked it, for sure, but it wasn’t the stuff of “Survivor” legend, as first episodes go. We got some good strategy, and a few characters started to emerge (Debbie, Tai), but it was dragged down by the repeated references to the toughness of the environment. At least after the intro, though, these were few and far between, and what did come usually had some connection to the episode as a whole (notably the Aubry stuff). On the whole, this episode makes me think this season will be reminiscent of “Survivor Vanuatu”. A couple of big characters and interpersonal conflicts, but with the focus more on advanced gameplay and strategy. This implies that the season won’t be as exciting or memorable as some other seasons. That said, I’m an avowed fan of “Survivor Vanuatu”, so it gives me hope for the season overall.

But, as per tradition, it’s now time for:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

I normally don’t talk about the titles of specific episodes, since most people don’t remember them anyway, but since I commented on it this episode, I might as well get out there what I think the best and worst premier episode titles are. And yes, I’m just doing the premier ones. I need to stretch out the topics for these “Top 5 and Bottom 5” lists somehow.

TOP 5:

5. “Want to See the Elephant Dung?” (“Survivor Gabon”): Perhaps an odd choice for this list, but the wackiness of this title makes it stand out, and that alone is enough. I’ll grant that it works better when you can hear the voice of Gillian Larson saying the quote, but even without that, it still intrigues you, which a good first episode title should do. It’s reliance on accent makes it low on the list, but fun is enough to put it on the list at all.

4. “Two Tribes, One Camp, No Rules” (“Survivor One World”): When I first decided to do this list, I intended to put “Big Trek, Big Trouble, Big Surprise” from “Survivor Guatemala” on this list. While I do like that episode title, and love “Survivor Guatemala” as a season, I found that they filled somewhat similar spots, and I thought this one was just better. There’s something about that cadence of the three-things list that works for an episode title, promising grand things to come. In the case of ‘Survivor One World”, those things never really came to pass, but it definitely emphasized the big twist of the season, and while a bit cliche, does the job of getting you hyped for what is ultimately a lackluster season at best.

3. “The Marooning” (“Survivor Borneo”): Sometimes simple things are the most effective. Many early seasons had first episode titles that were plays on this term, but “Survivor Borneo” did it first, and I’d say did it best in this case. While the sheer basicness of the title keeps it from being higher on the list, it does evoke that rough, survivalist feel the season was going for, and gives a sense of the grand adventure to come, thereby doing its job very effectively.

2. “I Can Forgive Her, But I Don’t Have To Because She Screwed With My Chickens” (“Survivor Cook Islands”): When “Survivor” switched to episode quotes for titles, a few people came along who were basically title generating machines, and few were better at this than Jonathan Penner, who originated on this season. Here, we see his poetry at work, bringing us probably the most memorable premier episode title of them all. It’s funny, and it tells so much in just a simple title, though that’s probably because it’s the longest episode title period. Speaking of which, that’s what keeps it out of the number one spot: it doesn’t roll off the tongue very well. With that said, it still needs to be acknowledged for being witty and fun, which definitely puts it among the best of the best.

1. “The Importance of Being Eldest” (“Survivor Thailand”): What can I say, I’m a sucker for bad puns and literature references. This title was always going to be on the list, but what put it in the number one spot was when I realized how well it fit the season. If you’re looking for arc, “Survivor Thailand” is almost an old vs. young storyline. The ultimately dominant Chuay Gahn tribe lost 3 out of the first 4 immunity challenges, and looked set to be dominated by the younger Sook Jai tribe. But though guile, wit, and a fake merge, they emerged dominant, proving the maxim that “Age and treachery will overcome youth and skill”. When a title fits a season that well, it can only be given the number one slot.

Honorable Mention: “They’re Back!” (“Survivor All-Stars”): A pretty obvious title, I still kind of like it. Simple, but it promises what we want promised from a season like this. I keep it at the Honorable Mention level because I hear it differently than how it’s spelled. I hear it with a bit of a pause in the word “Back”, such that it would be written out as “They’re Ba-Ack!”, to give it a kind of sing-song feel. Hearing this tonation makes me like the title more, but without the spelling, I can’t be sure that’s what they were going for, and so I can’t put it on the list.

BOTTOM 5:

5. “Slay Everyone, Trust No One” (“Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”): Ah, Coach, another quote master for “Survivor”. This title sounds pretty awesome, and you’d think it’d get a spot on the “Top 5” list as a result. Well it would… IF IT WERE CORRECT! Oh, my issue here is not with Coach “Dragonslayer” Wade, but with the producers here. The ACTUAL quote is “Trust No One, Slay Everyone.” Why they changed it around, I don’t know, but it irks me to no end.

4. “You’re Looking at the New Leader of Your Tribe” (“Survivor Redemption Island”): I’m a bit torn about this one, though it definitely belongs on the “Bottom 5” list for being boring and a bit on the long side. Long titles only work if you’re Jonathan Penner. However, judging by appropriateness to the season, this one fits the bill perfectly. After all, this season was basically “Survivor Boston Rob”, and the title of this episode perfectly conveys that that’s what’s going to happen. That doesn’t make it good, though, and with the other problems I mentioned, it ends up here on the list.

3. “Young at Heart” (“Survivor Nicaragua”): Cliche’s do not make a good episode title, “Survivor”. Not unless they’re made into puns. Quit doing that.

2. “Back to the Beach” (“Survivor Marquesas”): This one is just lame. “Survivor” titles are supposed to be epic, the stuff of legend. They should convey a sense of adventure! This conveys a sense of MTV Beach House, and I don’t mean the Pagong tribe here. I know that “Back to the Beach” was supposed to be the theme of the season, but it was lame even then. This was just one idea that simply didn’t work.

1. “Something Cruel is About to Happen… Real Soon” (“Survivor Fiji”): Yes I hate a lot of things about “Survivor Fiji”, and I’m coming to realize that the episode titles are one of them. Pauses in episode titles do not work, and like some of the other entries on this list, this one just feels generic and tacked on. I know it’s a quote from the episode, but since Fiji was so lackluster as a season, the quote is lackluster as a title. Form follows function, I suppose.

Honorable Mention: “I’m a Mental Giant” (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): Like I said earlier, this isn’t technically a bad title, so I can’t put it on the list proper. I just want to acknowledge the missed opportunity. Debbie’s quote would have been a much better choice.

I don’t know about you, but I, for one, am intrigued at where the strategy this season is going. Looking forward to sharing further thoughts with you all!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Cast Assessment

The new cast of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” has been released? Well, it’s about bloody time! Under a month to go now until the premier.

In all seriousness, welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to! As is now tradition with the blog, with the announcing of a new cast, and very little information to go on, it’s of course time to make predictions about how these people will play and what position they’ll end up in. Because that’s what the internet is for. We’ve got another “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” twist in what looks to be a season rehashing a LOT from previous seasons. Still, as I’ve been noting in my “‘Survivor’ Retrospectives” series, a good cast can often make up for a bad everything else. Will this cast be good enough to overcome my doubts pre-season? Read on and find out!

Chan Loh Tribe (Brains):

Peter Baggenstos (34, ER Doctor, Minneapolis, MN): Barack Obama? Who put YOU on “Survivor”? And no, I’m not just making this up out of whole cloth to illustrate the “repetition” this season, he really does look like Barack Obama. Hell, he even comments on it in his video on CBS.com. But the comparisons don’t end with looks. Peter seems to be a natural alpha-male, leader type, which normally I’d count against him, but looking at the makeup of the tribe overall, not very many of them, apart from Peter, are willing or able to carry the mantle of the overt leader. Early game, at least, you need an overt leader, and if Peter is willing to fill that role, I see no reason these people won’t let him. I am a little concerned about how well he’ll bond with his tribe, since he is one of SEVERAL Tribe choices I’ll be questioning in this blog. Don’t get me wrong, it takes a LOT of smarts to become a doctor, and the guy doesn’t seem stupid to me. The trouble is that I don’t feel that’s his greatest asset. His muscles are. While he doesn’t like “Bros”, he seems like very much that type of guy, if a little more serious-minded than the stereotype usually is, but as I say, this team is going to need to be led early on, and Peter will definitely fill that role. This bodes well for his time in the game, but not his overall winning. As said overt leader, he’ll definitely be kept around until the merge, but once the merge hits, he’s doomed. The trouble is that then he becomes a threat, and the covert leader (or leaders) start to take over, which will spell his doom. Now, I don’t get the sense that Peter know’s what he’s doing in the outdoors, which may bode ill if this season is as rough as everyone claims, but I try not to make guesses as to who’s going to get medevaced or not. Taking that out of the equation, Peter’s probably out sometime around the mid-merge, end of story.

Aubry Bracco (29, Social Media Marketer, Cambridge, MA): Oh boy, this is going to be another Julia Landauer (“Survivor Caramoan”) situation, isn’t it? Yes, though I rarely get crushes from “Survivor”, and I don’t find Aubry as physically attractive as Julia, I have to admit, I’m smitten. What can I say, I have a thing for nerds. And, at first, this was fine. It seemed, from reading her bio, like Aubry could actually do pretty well. She’s definitely a “younger” contestant, but on the older end of that, and seemed mature for her age, which would allow her to bond well with both major groups of contestants. While she did think and act a bit outside of the box, she does work in a field that requires you to be very social, and seemed to be able to get things to go her way, against all probability (writing a children’s book instead of a thesis, for instance), all stuff that could make her a real threat to win. And then I saw her video, and yeah, my confidence dropped considerably. She’s not just a “little” nerdy as she claimed, she’s a LOT nerdy. While I admire that, it’s not very good on “Survivor”. In that stressful an environment, such people/behavior can get really old, really fast, and though this particular brains tribe seems to be one that would be amenable to letting one’s freak flag fly, even that has limits. From what I’ve seen of her, Aubry passes those limits by a mile. I think it’s her talking about zodiac signs that pushed me over the edge. After getting burned by my hopes for Max Dawson on “Survivor Worlds Apart”, I guess I just consider talking about zodiac signs to be the “Survivor” equivalent of kryptonite. Too weird even for this show. And while I could see her initial tribe putting up with that sort of behavior, especially if Aubry is smart enough to find a good alliance (which I believe she is), I REALLY can’t see anyone on the other tribes letting that stick around. Hence, my prediction is that Aubry goes shortly after the swap, if not sooner. I hope I’m wrong. For all her quirks, Aubry does seem like a nice person who’s got some smarts underneath, which is a good combination for the show. As it stands, though, I just don’t see her being worth the trouble to most people.

Joseph Del Campo (72, Former FBI Agent, Vero Beach, FL): If Peter seemed like a kind of weird choice to put on the “Brains” tribe, then Joseph is a completely INSANE choice! Did you just not have enough people to fit the “Brains” group, CBS? Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have done the “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” twist this time! While it is cool to see a contestant this old on the show, a rarity in itself, I’m not wild about Joseph. He mainly just talks about how cool being an FBI Agent was, which is fine, it just gets old after a while. Also, like Peter he seems more physically inclined than mentally inclined, and again, I think would have fit much better on the “Brawn” side of things. As such, between that and his age, I don’t see him lasting long, probably not even making the tribe swap. While I do question some of the “Brains” choices here, most of them do seem to value smarts in some capacity. Not so much Joseph. Unless he can really prove himself in an early challenge or two, this guy is going to be off very quickly, just for being different.

Neal Gottleib (37, Ice Cream Entrepreneur, Sausalito, CA): Here we have the reverse Aubry. Neal was someone I initially looked at and thought he was a goner. The main thing was just that he was weird. An entrepreneur, sure, and definitely with enough education to qualify as a “Brain”, but he was just so bohemian, so new age, that I thought for sure he wouldn’t be able to fit in, and would be a quick target for his unorthodox lifestyle. What first turned me around on him was the realization that a lot of the “Brains” people had their own quirks or foibles, and so probably would be a bit more accepting of other people’s quirks and foibles, making him less of an early target. But it was his video that really turned me around on him. His quirks, which seemed extreme on paper, are much more subdued than you’d expect in person. On top of that, his talk about pitching himself to people and how he prepared for the show completely turned me around. This is a guy who knows what he’s doing; how to be an influence from the shadows without really leading. This turnaround was so spectacular that I’m actually making him my male pick to win this whole season! Now, I’ll say up front that that’s not a very high bar he passed, since I’m not impressed with most of these guys in terms of game skills, but Neal was just too good to pass up. I don’t really see him being seen as a threat or a liability at any point, and he’s got the brains to make the game go where he wants it to, and so I can’t really justify giving the male pick to win to anyone other than him.

Elisabeth “Lis” Markham (27, Quantitative Strategist, Brooklyn, NY): Lis is a tough one for me to get a read on. She definitely belongs on the “Brains” tribe, with her occupation being “Quantitative Strategist”, and she likes counting cards in blackjack, so she’s got the edge she may need to win. As with pro poker players, though, I question how well skills at card games transfer over to “Survivor”, and while she uses a lot of big words, she doesn’t stand out from the crowd to much. Not to say that she’s just another pretty face, though. She definitely strikes me as intelligent, which is a plus, and I don’t see her being boring or anything, she just doesn’t really make a huge impression. Part of that is that this is the first time I’m seeing the cast, so it may take me a bit to really get to know all of them, but Lis didn’t really pull me one way or the other. She could be fabulous at the game, or she could be a complete wreck. For my prediction, I’ll give her the benefit of a doubt and say that she’ll go far. I think it’s the fact that she’s studied game theory, something that I’ll say DOES apply between the real world and “Survivor”. I don’t see her being the leader of an alliance, but I suspect she’ll weasel her way into a second-in-command position. A lieutenant if you will. As for position, I doubt she’ll be out early, but with little to make her stand out of others, I’m guessing she’s gone in the early merge area.

Debbie Wanner (49, Chemist, Reading, PA): Ah yes, one of the people I called out as looking like a favorite of mine pre-season, and the new information I’ve gotten on her has done little to sway my thinking. I’m not AS big a fan of her as I thought, mostly due to the Aubry factor, but she’s got a lot going for her. Here, we have a tough older woman who’s got a lot of hidden depth, and a lot of varied interests. This can make her relatable, and a real threat should she make the switch, since I could see her bonding with anyone on any tribe. That said, she also talks a lot about her army training, which definitely makes her pretty strong for her age, but also, to me, drives a wedge between her and the rest of her tribe, save perhaps Joseph. While the “Brains” this time around are fairly accepting, I feel they’re more in for free-spiritedness than army regimentation. Thus, the first few days for Debbie will be a struggle. Again, like Joseph, she’s going to have to prove herself early on or she’ll be out quickly, but her younger age and more relatable experiences give her a better chance, I’d say. The real kicker, though, is that I don’t think she’s there to win. She talked a lot about proving something to herself/her kids, which says to me that she may not be willing to do what it takes to win “Survivor”. If she can find that competitive drive, she’s a force to be reckoned with, but without it, I say she’a a pre-swap boot. If she makes the swap, though, I like her chances much better. Press releases describe her as a “Renaissance Woman”, and I have no reason to doubt that label. She’ll definitely be enjoyable; I just hope she sticks around long enough for us to see a lot of it.

To Tang Tribe (Brawn):

Cydney Gillon (23, Bodybuilder, Douglasville, GA): When you’ve been a “Survivor” fan for as long as I have, you start to notice certain character types that the show likes to have. One of these is that of the “sassy black woman”, who’s usually loud, opinionated, and unwilling to back down. Now, it’s easy to see why the show likes to cast such people. After all, “Survivor” is best when it has at least one or two bigs characters, and this character type is usually pretty big. As to the track record of such characters, it varies. Sometimes they can be brought along in a position of power, like Crystal Cox on “Survivor Gabon”, or they can be out incredibly early for being irritating like Jolanda Jones of “Survivor Palau”. I bring this up because Cydney is this season’s requisite “sassy black woman”, and I can’t help but let the past performance of similar characters influence my opinion of how she’ll do. Hence Cydney’s a question mark for me. She could get really irritating really fast, or she could be a nice balance of a character. She could crash and burn early, or she could make it deep. If I were to bet on one side, though, it’d be the “crash and burn” side of things. As I say, this is a character that can get really irritating, both for the viewer and the player, and I see little to nothing in Cydney to balance this out. The fact that she says she has a hard time relating to certain types of people, particularly other women, says to me that Cydney is not long for this world. Since she is strong, I see her making the swap at least, but once she’s on a new tribe, I don’t really see her being able to hack it. Out after the swap, but before the merge.

Darnell Hamilton (27, Postal Worker, Chicago, IL): Darnell is just a nice guy, plain and simple. He’s not overcomplicated, seems to tell it like it is, and just has this sense of charm and amenability about him. If he had a few more smarts, I’d have made him my male pick to win it all. Again, I can’t stress enough that this guy just exudes likability. Add onto that his strength, and there’s little to no reason for him not to make the merge, at least. I’m even going to go a bit farther, and give him a “mid-to-late merge” boot prediction. I want this guy to do well, but I just don’t see him having the strategic smarts he needs to save himself when the time comes. He’ll probably get into an alliance easy, but once that alliance fails, or turns on him, I don’t see how he can come back.

Alecia Holden (24, Real Estate Agent, Dallas, TX): Usually, when we have self-described “tomboys” who look like the young, attractive blonde that Alecia is, I just roll my eyes and mark them for early elimination. Alecia, however, seems to have some credit to back up what she says. Once again, it’s hard to put a finger on exactly why this is, other that the fact that she doesn’t like lying and scheming, whereas most young, attractive people would use their looks to scheme their way to more time in the game. Now, it would be easy to say this makes her more of the fool, but on a tribe noted for “Brawn”, that’s probably a good thing, to keep it uncomplicated. Not saying she’ll win, by any means, but I could see Alecia doing decently well. She seems tough enough, and causes little drama, so she’ll probably be an early merge boot.

Kyle Jason (31, Bounty Hunter, Detroit, MI): Unfortunately for Kyle, he’s probably the first one out of the “Brawns” group when the lose. The name of the game, on this particular tribe, is “uncomplicated”. What we’ve got here is a group of people not so much interested in the strategic part of the game, and instead wanting to keep things simple and drama-free. Kyle, being a bounty hunter, is in a profession where drama is the order of the day. While being a dramatic person might not be a required skill for being a bounty hunter, it’s often perceived by the general public that you have to be that way. On top of that, from how he talks and describes himself, I’d say Kyle is someone unlikely to hold anything back, which again, is not a good trait to have on a tribe that values not rocking the boat. Since I’d say this tribe has a good chance of winning a number of challenges, he might stick around until the swap, but not much beyond that, and I’m calling him a pre-merge boot for sure.

Jennifer Lanzetti (38, Contractor, Salt Lake City, UT): Agent Melinda May from “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”? When did you get here? You’re not even on the right network! Actually, for once, the comparisons end at looks. Jennifer is definitely a tough, strong, no-nonsense older lady, which will serve her well on this particular tribe. Like a lot of people in this group, she doesn’t seem to like lying or deception, so I’m not sure she can really win this game, but I see her doing well. She’s not so forceful as to get kicked out early, but she does seem to have SOME force behind her, so unlike some on this tribe, I don’t see her going down without a fight when things inevitably go south. Add onto that her possibly being a closeted challenge threat, and I’d put her boot sometime in the mid-merge area. Definitely going to last a while, and probably fun to watch as well.

Scot Pollard (40, Former NBA Champion, Carmel, IN): So, as if it wasn’t COMPLETELY obvious that the show was trying to recapture the zeitgeist of “Survivor Cagayan”, they also cast yet ANOTHER NBA player on this season. They have to be TRYING to be unoriginal at this point. There’s not a lot to say about Scot, since he’s a pretty uncomplicated guy. Strong, but not a lot upstairs, pretty much your quintessential “Brawn”. Unless he gets really sick or something, I can’t see him being a target early on, but once the merge hits, he’ll be too big of a threat for his own good. As physical threats are wont to do, he’ll probably be out in the early merge, and the show will be none the worse for wear for it.

Gondol Tribe (Beauty):

Michele Fitzgerald (24, Bartender, Freehold, NJ): Oh boy, I’m going to have a hard time with this name. I’m used to “Michele” being spelled with two L’s. And, if I’m right, I’m going to be writing this name a lot. You see, Michele is my female pick to win the entire game. While I’d normally be inclined to write off someone who is put under the label of “Beauty”, this tribe in general, and Michele in particular, has a lot of depth to her, which is good. Michele’s not just another pretty face, she’s cutthroat, and really knows her way around this game. She’s got the analysis, she’s got excellent social skills; I really don’t see what can stop her from winning. She’s definitely cunning enough to control the game early, and from what I’ve seen, she’ll be able to influence others post-swap and late-game. Basically, she’s got more base knowledge of manipulation and “Survivor” than most anyone else on this list. Oh, and she’s a “Harry Potter” fan. Yes, my loyalty can be so cheaply bought.

Anna Khait (26, Pro Poker Player, Brooklyn, NY): And so, we return to the realm of “Why was this person on this tribe”? Anna is another very smart, very deep woman, which again, the “Beauty” tribe desperately needs, considering how everyone other than Brice and LJ were boring on “Survivor Cagayan”, but isn’t the pro poker player slot usually on the “Brains” tribe? Just doesn’t make sense to me. Still, I give Anna good odds in this game. True, my hatred for the “Pro Poker Player” type is well known, but Anna plays it down, emphasizing more her social skills, and not her occupational background. Hence, I suspect she’s got a good handle on her abilities, and which of those will ACTUALLY be useful out on the show. On top of that, she’s more overtly determined to win than most of the people on this season (not that others AREN’T determined, they’re just less open about it), which means she’ll probably fight hard to stay in. Not sure she quite has the killer instinct to win, but I’d still make her a post-merge boot, probably sometime in the late merge.

Nick Maiorano (30, Personal Trainer, Redondo Beach, CA): I’m not going to mince matters. This guy is the first one out, no question. And I don’t mean first one out of his tribe, I mean first one out PERIOD! The guy looks strong, sure, but he’s SO full of himself, SO convinced of his superiority to everyone else, that it’ll get beyond irritating after five minutes, and better strategists than him will take him out just to put him in his place. Don’t believe me? Allow me to quote from his “Entertainment Weekly”, bio, specifically his “Personal Claim to Fame”:
“I’ll always be a better listener than you. Meaning, I listen to people better than you do, I’m more interested in people than you are, and I accept people more than you do. And yes, sometimes I pretend to do these things, but at least I pretend, whereas you just check out and are narcissistic.”
Hypocritical much? I see NOTHING narcissistic about calling yourself better than everybody else at all! Face facts: this guy has NO IDEA how he comes across, what his abilities really are, and he’s doomed as a result.

Caleb Reynolds (28, Army Veteran/Former “Big Brother” Contestant, Hopkinsville, KY): As if it wasn’t enough to copy the premise of “Survivor Cagayan”, we now also have to copy “Survivor Blood vs. Water” and have a former “Big Brother” contestant on the show. Actually, it’s pretty easy to see why Caleb was made famous on “Big Brother”. He’s a fairly likable guy, but a bit simple and one-note, talking a lot about the same subjects over and over. I don’t see his as being that smart, but his is strong, which this tribe needs, and less irritating, which will definitely keep him around until the merge. Like I said, I don;t see this guy having a lot going for him other than being likable and strong, so he’s probably an early merge boot, but I also see him being a semi-enjoyable watch that never gets too irritating.

Julia Sokolowski (19, Student, Boston, MA): One good thing I’ll say about this cast is that, with rare exception, no one out here is just here to be a “pretty reality contestant”. Everyone has some edge, some maturity, some depth, something that makes them unique, which can’t be said of every season. Julia isn’t an exception to this, but out of everyone here, I’d say she some the closest. Oh, she has spunk, superfan status, and some life experience, what with her having taught English in Tanzania and all. The problem is that, despite all this, Julia still come off as somewhat immature. Not in the whiny, no-self control sense, but just not a full grown-up yet. This wouldn’t normally be much of a problem, but this is what I would describe as a very mature season of “Survivor”. however old they are, everyone comes off as an adult in some capacity, and while she’s further along than a lot of 19 year olds, Julia is just not there quite yet. This makes her stand out, and I’d argue puts her game at a lesser caliber than anyone else on this season, and dooms her chances. She’s definitely out before the merge, and probably even before the swap. A nice enough person, but this is a season that does not suffer children gladly.

Tai Trang (51, Gardener, San Francisco, CA): Yau-Man 2.0 So, we’re even copying “Survivor Fiji”, now? Actually, I’d say Tai is like a combination of Yau-Man and Bob Crowley (“Survivor Gabon”), in that he’s not as book-smart as Yau-Man, but he is crafty and seems to be good outdoors. As you’d expect from someone older and fairly quirky, Tai stands out, and I definitely don’t see him winning. He isn’t as bad as some of the others on his tribe, though, and if he can find the right group of people, he’ll probably go far. As it stands, I’m saying Tai goes out around the tribe swap. He might be able to find a niche with time, but the swap doesn’t really allow for that.

So, there we have our new cast. Does it make up for the repetitiveness of this season, or does it just augment the failure? Sad to say, but it’s too soon to tell. A bit of a cop-out, I know, but it’s the best I can do. I will say that in this cast’s favor, there’s almost no one there who seems like a non-entity. Everyone has some interesting potential story, something going for them that makes me want to watch them. And, for all that I kvetched about repetitive casting, I will say it’s not as bad as I expected, and a lot of it was just for the sake of humor. My problem, though, is that while these characters seem interesting, sometimes people who are interesting on paper are actually quite boring on camera. Alternatively, they could be irritating, and you wish they’d just get voted out sooner. My point is that while there’s very little on this cast that strikes me as BAD, there’s also nothing on it that gets me super-excited, that I’m absolutely SURE is going to be a great watch. Hopefully the cast will turn out better than even I expect, since this season has some stuff working against it from the beginning. If you want that judgement, though, you’ll have to read on Feb. 17th, when I blog about the premier!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.