Well. That happened.
Seriously, that’s all you get for the moment. You’ll find out my thoughts later, as they’re somewhat complex. For now, let me focus on one thing I wish to address before the episode gets started. Dawn’s blindside of Brenda on the previous episode is one of the biggest of the season, and is of course talked about immensely by the fan community. Naturally, the fan community has strong opinions, but seems to have decided to express those opinions by attacking Dawn personally. Now, I’m hardly one to talk, in a sense, because I don’t hold much back when it comes to criticizing strategy. But that’s just it, when it comes to STRATEGY. People are calling Dawn a horrible person, and for what? Committing a blindside? Those happen every day on this show, it’s not exactly a new or bewildering thing. That Dawn had a personal relationship with Brenda, particularly given the teeth incident from a few episodes ago? Closer, but again, we’ve seen that done before, and what about betraying this personal relationships was different from all the other betrayals of personal relationships? Could it be Brenda’s reaction? Yes, that’s what I would go with. Brenda had a very open, very convincing reaction to being voted out, so much so that even I disproportionately felt for her. However, when you look at it, this blindside was really no different from any other, save that Brenda is good at making you feel bad. If anything, that justifies the blindside more, as if Brenda makes it to the end, she can pull that off and win with relative ease. She’s good at that emotional manipulation, don’t get me wrong, but that’s no reason to harangue Dawn. For all that I still think the smarter move would have been Eddie, it’s nothing personal against Dawn. Her game has been to get close to people so they won’t betray her, and then stab them in the back. Dawn, if you’re reading this, you game, while not the best that ever existed, has merit. You’ve greatly improved from last time, you’ve played a good game, and you are a very decent person. Kudos.
One person who DOESN’T deserve ANY kudos is Eddie. Even including the likes of Amber Brkich (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person do LESS than Eddie has to get where he is. The man has been a literal NON-ENTITY this time around, with the ONLY thing he has done that is at ALL strategic was flirt with Andrea, and I’m still not at all convinced that had any strategy behind it. I hesitate to say he doesn’t DESERVE to be in the final episode, but that’s only because I don’t think the concept of “deserving” on “Survivor” is appropriate. He doesn’t even have any challenge credits on himself to call his own. It just disgusts me that he continues to exist.
Moving on to the episode proper, we waste no time in finding our medevac. We start off with some suspicious comments from the others, pointing out that Erik looked a bit listless and dull at Tribal Council. Frankly, I’d just brush it off as how Erik normally looks, but it seems that something really is wrong with him, as he collapses on the walk back from tribal. Probst and the medical team come out to take a look, and discover that Erik is too undernourished to continue playing. Frankly, thinking on it, I’m not all that surprised. Erik is a very physical guy, but also a skinny guy. He has no fat to burn, so of course he’s going to give out faster than everyone else. That, and Brandon’s dumping out of the rice and beans may have had something to do with it…
Regardless, Erik now leaves the game in fifth place, having lasted a whole 20 minutes longer than on “Survivor Micronesia” (ok, one spoiler for my thoughts, Micronesia is the superior “Fans vs. Favorites” season). Good for you, Erik. After your nonexistent performance this time around, I wouldn’t expect you to get brought back.
A now more downtrodden final 4 head back to Enil Edam, and once again, it’s Cochran who breaks the lull, deciding to strategize with Eddie on the off-chance that Eddie wins immunity. Not a bad move on Cochran’s part, but he’s talking to Eddie, surely the man won’t know what to do when actually asked to make a decision. Wait, is Eddie actually taking the opportunity handed to him to try and turn Cochran against Dawn? Oh my God, he grew a brain! And it only took him 14 episodes to do it!
While this is good strategy on Eddie’s part, as he admits that if he gets to the finals, he wins, I don’t buy Cochran’s indecision for a minute. His whole game has been centered around getting himself and Dawn to the finals, and after Brenda’s performance last Tribal Council, he’s be a fool not take Dawn with him. If Brenda’s reaction elicited such hatred from the fan community who don’t personally know Dawn, imagine what it does to other people who feel personally betrayed by her.
Next morning brings tree mail, which informs us that we’ll be getting a reward challenge, rather than an immunity challenge today, and I can’t say I’m happy about it. I was hoping they’d COPY “Survivor Micronesia” in this case, even though I said the less they copy, the better, and give us a twist Final 2 rather than Final 3. I’ve made my case for a Final 2 over Final 3 before, but suffice to say here that I don’t think the Final 3 accomplishes what it wants, and Final 2 just feels more appropriate somehow.
With only Favorites from “Survivor South Pacific” left, it seems only appropriate that we use a rehashed challenge from “Survivor South Pacific”. Specifically, we’re copying the penultimate immunity challenge from that season, which is to make a house of cards to a certain height, with the difficulty of a moving platform added in. I’ve expressed hatred for this challenge before, but looking back, my main gripe was that it was a FINAL immunity challenge. Now that it isn’t, and is also a difficult skill set, with an extra difficulty increase with the moving platform, I’m willing to let it go. Plus, it gives us a lot of good back-and-forth as to who’s winning, which makes for a lot of drama. Now, what are they playing for. It’s late in the game, so it’ll have to be high stakes… OH GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT, they’re doing the “Final Immunity Advantage” thing again? I’m all ranted out on that from the end of “Survivor Philippines”, but guess whether I like it or not.
A very back and forth race leaves Cochran the victor, and everyone heads back to camp to strategize. Eddie pulls Sherri on board his camp, thus taking away a lot of my limited respect for Sherri. How she thinks it can be a good idea to take Eddie to the finals, I don’t know. He’s well liked, never betrayed anybody, and for Sherri, he takes away a potential “Last Fan Standing” argument with his presence. There is no upside.
We also get Cochran and Dawn reaffirming their loyalty to one another, though Cochran hints to us that he may betray Dawn anyway. Again, I don’t buy it for a minute. Still, at least it means Eddie is actually DOING SOMETHING (no, I’m not letting this go, he’s one of the most pathetic players I’ve ever seen).
Following another night’s sleep, we get our Fallen Comrade’s Tribute, which, whatever Probst might say, I like, and wish would stick around for a good long while. I find this one to be rather touching, personally. Not quite a “Top 5 and Bottom 5” touching, but still nice. I think what it is is the humanity behind it. No, not in the “everyone was nice” sense, but that the comments were very honest, notably Cochran asking about which blonde was which from the Fan’s Tribe.
After the ceremonial “Burning of the Giant Wooden Thing”, we head to our final challenge, which is NOT a repeat. No, it’s a COMBINATION OF REPEATS. Tribe members climb up a series of stairs in a tower (“Survivor Palau”) to retrieve puzzle bags (pretty much any given season”), and then slide down a water slide (“Survivor One World”), and solve a 3-D fire puzzle (“Survivor One World” again). Actually, one thing I will give this challenge is that the puzzle is appropriate and difficult. I quite enjoy it. Though frankly, I’d enjoy it a lot more IF IT WASN’T THE FINAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE! I don’t care about repeats so much for final challenges, but at least make it an endurance challenge. I like that, at the end of the day, it’s willpower that wins out.
Cochran’s advantage is that he doesn’t have to untie his bags, which gives him an early lead. He loses it, but then gains it back on the puzzle, ultimately leading to victory as Dawn and Sherri get flustered, and Eddie did not even get 5 pieces in. This means that Cochran has won 3 individual immunities, leading to a total of 4 individual wins, and thus earning his title of “Challenge Dominator” for the season. Eddie, muscle-bound fireman, has been unable to win anything. Turn in your man card, sir, you’ve lost the right to use it.
It’s true, one could argue that Cochran had an advantage for 3 of his 3 immunity wins, but really, would you honestly have guessed he’d win ANYTHING, advantage or not?
Back at camp, we get more misdirection that I don’t buy, blah, blah, blah, let’s cut to Eddie going home already. While he did TRY to redeem himself at the end by persuading Cochran with words and full-frontal nudity, it’s a case of too little, too late, and I’m overjoyed that he’s gone. He would easily have been one of the worst “Survivor” winners ever.
Day 39 is its usual anticlimactic self, with everyone celebrating over breakfast, and preparing their statements for Final Tribal. Our one interesting tidbit is that Cochran, of all people, doesn’t know how to present to a jury. The HARVARD LAW grad, doesn’t know how to handle a jury. The Ivy league really has gone downhill. Must be too many undeserving rich kids buying their way in.
All are understandably nervous at making their opening statements, but give it a go anyway. Dawn, being female, must start us off, and I have to tell you, I never realized how HARD of a game this was. I mean, being stranded out in the elements, unable to trust anyone, it’s just so HARD, but I didn’t realize until now how HARD it was, and how HARD a time Dawn had playing it. Did I mention the game was HARD?
Thankfully, Dawn gets better, emphasizing how, tears aside, she wanted to play a cutthroat game, and did so. This is a fair statement, and her only flaw in it is that she gives Cochran too much credit. Admittedly he may deserve it, but Dawn, you don’t need to let the jury know that. Sherri is up next, and oh boy, you can tell the nerves are getting to her. Her only argument is that she’s a businesswoman, saying that influenced how she played the game. She A: cites no evidence, and B: reminds everyone that she has money to spare. She also doesn’t make the obvious “Last Fan Standing” argument, thus sealing her fate. Cochran, in contrast, gives a flawless opening speech, talking about how great the other players on the jury were, and thus emphasizing how good he must have been to take them out. A good bit of pandering to the jury, while still emphasizing your strengths. That is what makes a good opening speech.
But now it’s time for the rebuttal, which is where the fun begins. Malcolm, ever the fan-favorite, gets the squealing over with early on by going first. He essentially tells Sherri that she’s not getting his vote (no surprise there, the one point where she controlled the game, Malcolm had no say in), and tells Dawn that he’s likely to vote for her, given how good of a game she played, but wants her to step up an own it. This is good advice, and I’m very pleased that Malcolm can look beyond emotion and see the pretty solid game Dawn played. My only surprise is that he didn’t vote for her, as I thought she did own up to her game, in that sense. His only actual question is to Cochran, asking what Cochran has that Malcolm does not. A fair question, and Cochran answers self-deprecatingly, pointing out that he was always on edge, and casting himself as the underdog. Ok, he may be overselling it, but that’s still a pretty good answer.
Eddie is up next, blatantly asking Sherri if she had a strategy, or was carried all the way here? I don’t see how the two are disparate, but Sherri makes the mistake of answering that she was carried. Good-bye, Sherri votes, we hardly knew ye! Eddie also goes on the popular theme of lighting into Dawn, and basically declaring his support to Cochran by asking what Cochran will do in a bar with the “Three Amigos”. Cochran once again emphasizes his underdogness with more self-deprecation (I’m sensing a pattern here), but also says that he’ll be surrounded by women, so they won’t be RIGHT next to each other.
Good Old “Special Agent?” Sheppard is here to up the crazy, as is evidenced by the music, and like Eddie, he all but declares his undying love for Cochran, officially firing Sherri from Stealth ‘R Us, and mocking Dawn’s emotional breakdowns in a way that felt kind of mean. Of a similar vein is Erik, who asks Dawn if she realizes what her emotions have done to the jurors, which she handles well. He tries to ask a similar thing to Sherri, only framing it around strategy, but Sherri, having evidently decided she hasn’t tried hard enough to not get any votes this time, and goes the Katie Gallagher (“Survivor Palau”) route, refusing to answer Erik’s question, and telling him to shut up.
Things get a bit nicer with Michael, who takes a similar route to Malcolm’s, asking Dawn to own up to why, since she and Cochran were so tight, she deserves it over him. Dawn has a very good answer, pointing out that she basically gathered all the information that Cochran used, while Cochran rebuts that Dawn would have quit the game if he hadn’t talked her down multiple times. Reynold is a bit harsher, attacking Dawn’s supposed “decit” in personal dealings, before asking Dawn to describe him in 3 words. Dawn describes him as “chauvinistic, humorous, and narcissistic” (I know the last one’s inaccurate, but it was words to that effect), which Reynold SOMEHOW takes as a compliment (I guess he really is narcissistic), and sits down again. This is worse than Troyzan’s (“Survivor One World”) “This is MY Island” rant.
Finally, we reach the ladies. Andrea is another one who is surprisingly nice to Dawn, basically reiterating Malcolm’s points, and we finish up, not surprisingly, with Bombshell Brenda, who delivers in the “Bitter Juror” department, lobbing Cochran a relative softball, before hitting Dawn with all of the feels, and asking her to remove her lower teeth, for some reason. It didn’t make sense to me, either, but Brenda was hurting. After some protests, Dawn complies, and I haven’t seen this much of a tooth focus on “Survivor” in a while. It’s like Dawn is the mad offspring of Maralyn Hershey (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), and J.T. (“Survivor Tocantins”).
Seeing as we only see one name during the voting, we can guess that it’s a landslide victory. In fact, Cochran wins, much to my pleasure. I’ve picked a winner once before with Kim Spradlin on “Survivor One World”, but the person I’ve ROOTED for has never won until now. Couple that with the fact that I’ve adored Cochran since before “Survivor South Pacific” began to air, plus his playing an AMAZING game this time around, and I’m well-pleased with the outcome, so much so that I can’t even really express it! As if that wasn’t enough, he’s one of only TWO winners to play a “flawless game” (receiving no votes before Final Tribal, only to receive ALL votes at Final Tribal), with the aforementioned J.T. being the other.
And then we come to the reunion show. The awful, awful reunion show.
It doesn’t start off to bad, the segments with Cochran are nice and self-deprecating (Cochran, the Tribal’s over, you can stop now), and all around funny and humble. But enough of that, we need to see a montage of all the times Dawn cried! Actually, I don’t have a problem with the Dawn segment either, truth be told, and I thought the reconciliation with Brenda was a nice touch, particularly given how it inflamed the fan community. Also, major props to Brenda for showing off her baby belly. In a culture that’s obsessed with looks, it’s a major accomplishment to put yourself out there like that. Major, major congratulations, Brenda, and I hope the baby is healthy and full of life.
But then, the problems start piling up. For one thing, only those who made the jury get to stay on stage, and while the others are there, they’re rarely cut to, and it just feels like cheating. However far you make it in the game, you were still a part of it, and deserved to get seen, and asked a question by Probst, however lame it may be. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he doesn’t even GET to ask all the jurors (and Sherri) questions. Why? Well, that would be the OTHER problem with this reunion show: too much emphasis on previous players. It’s one thing to have former players appear in the audience, maybe answering a question if it’s pertinent, but it’s another thing to CENTER YOUR REUNION AROUND PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T EVEN PLAY THIS TIME! Come on, this wasn’t the STRONGEST cast ever, but it had a lot of good people. You only detract from them by focusing on these others, saying that they’re not strong enough to hold up a season by themselves. Beyond that, Malcolm’s winning Fan Favorite was predictable, and while the teasing of the new season may be good from a marketing standpoint, I just found it frustrating to say the least. I did like that Probst talked to some fans live, but I wish he’d asked them more interesting questions, or else found more interesting fans.
By rights, I should hate this episode. It has so much to dislike, namely the reused challenges, the “Final Immunity Advantage”, the Final 3, the existence of Eddie, and the awful reunion show. And yet, I can’t bring myself to hate it, simply because the glory that is Cochran’s victory trumps all. It gets even better when I imagine the look on Jim Rice’s (“Survivor South Pacific”) face.
As to the season as a whole, it’s not so good. I can thoroughly say I enjoyed it, and it would probably rank tenth overall just for the winner, and it did do a good job separating itself from “Survivor Micronesia”. However, the reused challenges were painful, the pre-merge game had very few good points, and overall, the cast was just weaker this time around. That’s part of the problem of going up against a season like “Survivor Micronesia”: how can you beat my personal favorite season? The big problem here is the Fans. While I admit in any season called “Fans vs. Favorites”, the Favorites will have the advantage, and the focus will be on them, but at least the Fans on “Survivor Micronesia” were SOMEWHAT memorable. This time around, I really don’t care much for any of them, and that REALLY just drags the season down for me.
Business as usual, we must see how wrong my predictions at the start of the season were:
Allie: Yep, all the blondes were boring, I just picked the wrong one to be the LEAST inadequate.
Eddie: I’m going to say I was right on this one. If he wasn’t kept around for being an idiot, he’d have been gone long ago.
Hope: Completely right, for once.
Julia: Of course I was right about my darling Julia! Don’t you dare contradict me!
Laura: Mildly wrong, but still not much of an entity on the season.
Matt: Another wrong one. He was much more game-savvy, and much shorter-lived than I predicted.
Michael: Wrong. Much stronger and smarter socially than I thought. I’d actually like to see him back, which is more than I can say for the rest of the Fans.
Reynold: Despite making it longer than I predicted, I think I nailed his personality. If it weren’t for the Fans’ need for strength, I think I would have been 100% right.
Shamar: I thought THIS guy would WIN?!
Sherri: Sort of wrong. She was smarter than I credited at first, but then she slipped into what I predicted. Still, she made it farther than I thought, and I was, perhaps a bit harsh on her.
Erik: Right on time in the game, but sadly, he toned down his goofball personality this time. He was a much smarter player, though.
Corinne: Pretty much right, although she was taken out sooner than I expected.
Brenda: Played a much quieter game, but still very strategic. Lasted longer than I thought.
Francesca: Dashed my hopes, girl. Why couldn’t you survive?
Andrea: Despite what some say, I still think I was right on this one.
Phillip: He was smarter this time around, and I was wrong about his time in the game, but he remains CRAZY!
Dawn: Close to right, though she was very emotional.
Cochran: Wrong, thankfully. He was able to overcome his perceptions and improve his game to become one of my favorite winners ever.
Brandon: Far too volatile and left too early for me to be right.
Malcolm: Actually right, for once this season.
Well, I promised it in the last blog, let’s get to my
TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!
Today’s topic, as you might expect, is Reunion Shows. Not much else to add there, except that the descriptions as to why will be relatively short. Reunion shows tend to make or break for me.
TOP 5:
5. “Survivor Exile Island”: This one just had a lot of funny moments. I particularly like Probst’s quip to Aras about remembering to pay his taxes. Also, some highlights of Shane, and good strategy talk from those left made for a nice, solid reunion.
4. “Survivor Palau”: Just an overall very touching reunion, particularly where Coby was concerned. We also got some good Wanda singing, and one of the best jobs Probst has ever done with getting to talk to everybody, even the early boots.
3. “Survivor Borneo”: While I overall prefer Probst as the host, having Bryant Gumble wasn’t a bad choice. He lent the proceedings an air of joviality, and the first cast had a lot of good stories, and just gave out a lot of good material.
2. “Survivor Samoa”: This one wouldn’t be very memorable, if it weren’t for seeing Russell Hantz squirm in his seat. Given how much I hate the man, it’s just too delightful to pass up.
1. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: How do I not give it to the one with the tribute to Jenn Lyon (“Survivor Palau”)?
Honorable Mention: “Survivor All-Stars”: While Jerri’s walk-out was fascinating, it was also somewhat painful in retrospect.
BOTTOM 5
5. “Survivor Nicaragua”: Nothing PARTICULARLY bad about this one, just a bad cast, and a winner I don’t particularly like. That, and too much focus on Jimmy Johnson.
4. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: In contrast, I actually like this cast a lot. However, it loses points for not giving a proper teaser for the next season, it was just Probst talking.
3. “Survivor Fiji”: Too large a cast with too few memorable people to merit anything good.
2. “Survivor Marquesas”: God bless Rosie O’Donnell, she’s a lovely person and a great actress, but she REALLY shouldn’t have been hosting the reunion. Just made it a mockery.
1. “Survivor Caramoan”: I think my reasoning on this one is perfectly clear.
Honorable Mention: “Survivor Redemption Island”: I respect that “Boston Rob” (“Survivor Marquesas” played a good game. That doesn’t mean I need to hear all about how awesome he is.
All that’s left now after a crazy season is wild mass guessing about what the twist of “Survivor Blood vs. Water” is. My money is either on a family season (i.e. returnees vs. their loved ones), or a sort of “Rivals” All-Star season. My money’s on the former, just because a “Fans vs. Favorites” season is kind of like an All-Star season, and I don’t think they’ll be doing another one twice in a row. One thing’s for certain, though: this new season is code for “Survivor WE’RE GOING BACK TO FUCKING SAMOA AGAIN”!
So ends this season of “Idol Speculation” For those of you looking to fill the void in your useless and boring lives with my erudite observations, my current travel blog, “Over in Under”, will continue until my return to the States in late June, and I will be resuming “’Survivor’ Retrospectives” over the summer, beginning with “Survivor Guatemala”.
-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.
idolspeculation 