Idol Speculation: Updated Season Rankings

Well, with less than two weeks to go until the premier of “Survivor Cambodia”, time’s running out for the last of my pre-season content. But trust me, this is worth the wait.

As anyone who follows “Survivor” news probably knows by now, this season is being hyped up to the max. It makes sense, since it’s a season of all returnees (only the third to do so). While it is a little weird that they’re doing it AFTER a “Survivor” anniversary, I see no reason not to join in the fun. If we’re going to honor “Survivor” history, what better way to do it than by giving my personal opinions on the rankings of “Survivor” seasons, relative to each other? True, I did this back during “Survivor Caramoan”, but that was a while ago. New seasons have come out, and things have changed somewhat since then, so it seems relevant to do.

Keep in mind that these are my subjective opinions on the seasons. Most likely, something isn’t going to match up with your own personal rankings. If you’d like to let me know where I’m wrong, feel free to do so in the comments. It’s also worth noting that I don’t consider any season of “Survivor” to be “bad”, at least relative to other shows on the air. Even the worst season of “Survivor” is better than 90% of what you’d get anywhere else. Relative to each other, however, and with regards to the high bar I set for a good season of “Survivor”, some fall a bit short. With that in mind, I’m dividing my rankings into three major categories: Sub-Par Seasons, which just don’t stack up as well as others, but may still have a bit of merit; Good Seasons, which meet the bar set for “Survivor”, but don’t quite distinguish themselves enough to be the creme de la creme; and Phenomenal Seasons, which outshine all the others, and have that extra something that makes me want to see them over and over again. With our definitions clarified somewhat, let’s see what I think of each individual season.

SUB-PAR SEASONS

30. “Survivor Fiji”: While “Survivor Fiji” has many problems, it’s biggest flaw, and what puts it at the very bottom for me, can be summed up in two words: It’s BORING! Believe me, there are several seasons in this section that I have gripes with, that make me angry, but they at least make me feel something. “Survivor Fiji” was just so bland and forgettable that I can’t really say too much about it, and in my mind, that’s more damning than a season that arouses my anger. If you want more specific reasons, “Survivor Fiji” had a major problem with the cast. A vast majority of the people cast, particularly the women of this season, were just plain forgettable. I’d argue it’s due to the show recruiting ALL BUT ONE of the people on the season, but that’s neither here nor there. The season did have a few stand-outs, such as Yau-Man Chan and Andre “Dreamz” Heard, but it wasn’t enough. When the season did have stand-outs, they were, more often than not, unpleasant to watch, and that’s just not good tv. To compound these problems, the “Haves vs. Have-Nots” twist made the game all too predictable, and unlike some other game-breaking twists was not an obvious idea that needed to be tried. Compound all this with boring and/or stupid challenges, and the problems of a “generic south pacific island” aesthetic, and “Survivor Fiji” can’t go anywhere but last.

29. “Survivor Redemption Island”: You all knew this one was going near the bottom of the list. The complete and utter obvious domination of the game by one player (in this case, “Boston Rob” Mariano) made this a season that was basically going through the required motions to give the obvious winner a check. In this case, the winner was broadcast very early on, and so it was a LONG slog to the end; never a good sign. The fact that the dominance of Boston Rob was so strategically brilliant is enough to save this season from coming in dead last, but only just. And, because there aren’t enough things to dislike about this season, CBS used the time to introduce us to the “Redemption Island” twist. Basically an extended version of the “Outcast Twist” from “Survivor Pearl Islands”, Redemption Island both neutered the show in terms of dramatic vote-offs, removed one challenge per episode so we could have a watered-down “Redemption Duel”, and blatantly stacked the game in favor of those who were good at challenges, something fans of strategy didn’t want to see. But just in case the game WASN’T stacked in favor of Boston Rob, the cast apart from him and Russell Hantz was composed pretty much entirely of non-entities, or characters so over-the-top they appear to be cartoons. How they found three people to come back for future seasons is a mystery to me. In any case, while it can be a good study in strategy, “Survivor Redemption Island” is in no way fun to watch, and just had too much going against it to get higher than this.

28. “Survivor One World”: “Survivor One World” shares the same fundamental flaw that “Survivor Redemption Island” does, in and of that it was clearly broadcast early on that one person was going to win, and so the rest of the season just seemed to be going through the motions. Part of what saves “Survivor One World”, though, is that the person in question is Kim Spradlin, a new player as opposed to someone we’d already seen three times already. This novelty makes it slightly better than “Survivor Redemption Island”, but only slightly. By and large, the cast of this season had the same non-entity feel about it as discussed earlier, but with the few stand-outs being less over the top than “Survivor Redemption Island”. This is both blessing, in and of that this meant fewer annoyances, but also makes the cast even more generic. But lest we forget, this was the season that introduced us to Colton Cumbie, a whiny, racist human being who was a terrible strategist and no fun to watch. Though he was only in it for six episodes, his mere PRESENCE drags the season down a great deal, and it didn’t have a lot going for it to begin with. The major twist of this season, with both tribes living together on one beach, I think is actually a good idea, but flopped due to the terrible cast, and with nothing else to stand out about it, “Survivor One World” just flops as a whole.

27. “Survivor Samoa”: The one thing most people love about this season is the one thing I hate the most about it: Russell Hantz. A narcissistic, sexist, disgusting human being, Russell Hantz is the flaw in “Survivor Samoa”. The season is about him and him alone. Once again, it’s very clear from the beginning that Russell Hantz is the big name of the season, and everyone else is, at best, a backup singer. The few people who tried to stand out were charicatures of charicatures, and more ridiculous than interesting. The location and twists of this season were bland and forgettable, meaning apart from the near death of Russell Swan, only Russell Hantz can carry the season, and he’s just not that fun to watch. In hindsight, the finale of “Survivor Samoa” is hilarious, but it just isn’t enough to put up with a predictable season of Russell Hantz.

26. “Survivor Nicaragua”: I can’t in good faith call “Survivor Nicaragua” a good season, but it does have some ups. While the cast was largely filled either with generic players or just plain awful people, it did also give us good, fun strategists in Marty Piombo and Brenda Lowe, and to a lesser extent Holly Hoffman. Sadly, their presence is overridden by the quitting of Na’Onka Mixon and “Purple Kelly”, the former of whom seemed to set out to win the “Most Awful Human Being in Existence” Award, though I will say that I think the editing did her no favors, and made her seem somewhat worse than she was. The “Old vs. Young” twist, while a dismal, predictable flop, was a fairly obvious idea that at least needed to be tried once. Sad to say, the “Medallion of Power” does not fall into the same category, and needs to be forgotten. I think “Survivor Nicaragua” had some potential, but between who dominated the cast, and how the twists turned out, it just all fell apart into a mess.

25. “Survivor Worlds Apart”: I almost put this season in the “Average Seasons” category, since we did have a somewhat exciting finish, and some good strategizing towards the end. Sadly, what dominates this season is the awful behavior of various contestants, notably Will Sims II and Dan Foley, and that just cannot be condoned. This season was also hurt by a seeming general apathy from the cast as a whole towards strategizing, a few even taking the “moral high ground” against the game. This seemed to insult people who liked the show, and enjoyed the strategy of it, which was off-putting. While not a season-ruiner, the “Collars” division of tribes was brought to the forefront, when it should really have been a garnish to what was there. As such, the whole thing felt gimmicky and forced, only adding to this season’s litany of problems. Like I said, there’s good stuff here, but the bad is just what jumps to mind, and I don’t want to see it again.

AVERAGE SEASONS

24. “Survivor Thailand”: A lot of people, particularly Jeff Probst, like to put this season at the bottom of their lists, since it too had a fair number of unpleasant people on it. Certainly the “grindgate” incident is fairly damning, and I’d be lying if said that that particular event was not a stain on “Survivor” history. However, I think people underestimate this season. It had a fantastic location, some innovative challenges, and a large number of good twists. While some twists were flat-out misses, such as the “mutiny” twist first tried here, most of them worked pretty well. I liked the idea of choosing one’s starting beach, each with its own advantages and disadvantages, and let us not forget the merge fake-out that this season gave us. Whether it was a cheap move by production or not, it cannot be denied that it was hilarious to watch. On top of all these, this is really an example of what we might call “Classic ‘Survivor’”, which gives it an edge over the seasons beneath it. Yeah, the cast could have been better, and I will say this is one of the worst final twos ever in the show’s history, but we had some good people who lasted a while, and if nothing else, “Survivor Thailand” can be viewed as a travelogue with some random weird people in it.

23. “Survivor San Juan del Sur”: The only other season that could be called “boring” or “forgettable”, “Survivor San Juan del Sur” is saved by having few annoying characters, and some decent strategic talk mixed in with the boredom, if you knew where to look. True, most of the people on this season over-hyped themselves, and the reusing of the “Blood vs. Water” twist reeked of desperation. Bringing back Exile Island was a nice touch, but casting people to a theme, instead of pulling a theme from the cast, is not a good way to make a season. On top of that, a lot of the more interesting people were gone right after the merge, meaning that the back half of the season just felt wanting. It did come back strong in the finish, and there’s not a whole lot to hate about the season itself, but it’s just too weak to put any higher.

22. “Survivor South Pacific”: Here’s a season I have a personal love for, but can’t put higher on the list. Basically a carbon copy of “Survivor Redemption Island”, this season brought back nearly everything that made “Survivor Redemption Island” awful. The “Redemption Island” twist? Check. Returnees who we didn’t need to see? Check. Lackluster challenges and location? Check. And if you thought Redemptions Island was stacking the deck for Boston Rob, this season had Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth, challenge beast, on it, basically ensuring that Ozzy would stick around until the very end. What this season DOESN”t bring in from “Survivor Redemption Island” is the predictable winner and the lackluster cast. While it still had its share of duds, “Survivor South Pacific” gave us a few good characters, notably John Cochran and Dawn Meehan, and a winner who was actually something of a surprise. It’s a little more obvious on rewatch, but it’s still fun to see her journey, even knowing the outcome. Granted, this season does have a fairly predictable Pagonging, and also gave us Brandon Hantz. It’s still a fun season, just having to overcome a lot of obstacles that didn’t need to be there.

21. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Even having a dramatic location and being a classic season of “Survivor” doesn’t make up for the fact that this season is just plain BORING in the back half. Don’t get me wrong, we had some good moments in the first five episodes, Mike Skupin falling in the fire is a fantastic dramatic moment, and even the merge episode had some good strategizing. But after that, things just became a very bland slog to the end. We thankfully had some starvation and natural disasters to help keep the episodes exciting, but take that away, and there’s very little substance to the back half of this season. Don’t get we wrong, the early days are still amazing, but as someone with little to no nostalgia value for the season, the back half is just hard to forgive.

20. “Survivor Exile Island”: This could easily have turned into a gimmicky season, and in a way it still was, but that’s actually a credit to the season. The twists of Exile Island and the Hidden Immunity Idol added a lot of excitement to what might otherwise have been just a standard season. We had a fair number of big characters and good strategists, but they didn’t really come out of the woodwork until the merge, meaning this season had a rough start. The twists save it, but it’s still a long way to go to get to the good stuff, lowering this season down in the rankings. Still, the good stuff is worth waiting for with both wacky (if occasionally annoying) characters who are colorful and memorable, and some fairly interesting strategy talk. Plus, Terry Deitz’s underdog story is as good television as you could hope for, so there’s a plus. The voodoo theme, though a bit overdone, helps make this season less generic, though the challenges are nothing special. This season has many good qualities, mostly in the cast, it just takes a while to get to them.

19. “Survivor Marquesas”: Though it should be acknowledged for its historical and strategic significance, on the whole “Survivor Marquesas” is little to write home about. It’s a generic south pacific island if ever there was one, and while the challenges are more creative than you might expect, they still don’t amaze. The big problem, though, is that the characters at the merge, by and large, are boring. Oh sure, you have a few interesting people like Sean Rector and Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien, and they make it far, but the vast majority of the merge players just aren’t memorable enough. There’s a lot of great strategy here, with the first “Totem Pole Shake-Up” and just a general shifting of alliances, and it does keep the series interesting all the way through. I just wish that it was perpetrated largely by people I could really care about.

18. “Survivor Cook Islands”: This is another season that’s more strategic than character-based, and it once again suffers from it early on. “Survivor Cook Islands” was another theme-cast season, dividing the tribes by race, which brought out a bit of interesting commentary, but mainly just seemed like a cringe-worthy move by the producers, and meant we got a lot of duds to fit the racial balance. The characters we do have shine through a bit more than in other seasons, and following the “mutiny” twist in the one time it actually worked well, we had a great underdog story that carried through to a good resolution. Add onto that a more memorable theme than some locations and a great finals matchup between Ozzy and Yul Kwon (Becky Lee was really a non-entity here), and you’ve got a season that can be agreed upon as being “pretty good” overall.

17. “Survivor All-Stars”: If I were going on pure fanboy nerdiness, this would be the season for me. While we’ve had other “Tribute Seasons” paying homage to “Survivor”, this one really pulled out all the stops. Everywhere in this season, there are references, homages, celebrations of “Survivor” history! What more could you ask for? Well, in this case, a season that stands well on its own. The sad fact is that, take away the gimmicks of historical tributes and returning castaways, this was a season that was actually pretty boring. The strategy, which a few exceptions, was a fairly predictable affair, with the dominant tribe taking out the losing tribe at the merge, with little variation, and it just came down to which sub-alliance would come out on top. Sadly, it was the one we were all predicting, and it made for a lackluster finale. What stand-out moments we did get were fairly unpleasant, since this season got personal to the point of just being hard to watch. As a tribute to seasons past, “Survivor All-Stars” needs to be commemorated, but as a season on its own, which hardly unmemorable, it has some major issues. Plus: WORST. WINNER. EVER.

16. “Survivor China”: A season I’ve come to respect more with age, “Survivor China” is a fun watch the first time, but a fascinating watch the second time. There was a LOT of subtle strategy on this season, which is part of why its moved up in my estimation, but still enough blatant strategy that it doesn’t require a rewatch to be enjoyed. True, we did once again have a fairly predictable winner, but for once, the Final Tribal Council was not a runaway landslide for the winer, and a few shake-ups in the vote post-merge kept things interesting. “Survivor China” had very few duds in it, and while there were a few characters who were annoying (Courtney Yates), by and large, we had an exciting and memorable group this time around. Top all that off with a unique location and theme, plus some fun little cultural touches, and “Survivor China” becomes one of the most underrated good seasons.

15. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: I’m sure a lot of you are upset that this season isn’t near #1 on the list, but I stand by the fact that “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” is not as good as you remember it. True, it was a tribute season, but it played things a lot more subtly than “Survivor All-Stars”, and stands very well on its own, even without that draw. Certainly, the pre-merge area was exciting, seeing how tribe politics developed. But once J.T. left, even though there were a few shake-ups in the boot order again, it became very clear that this was the Villains’ season. Given that most of the Villains were unlikeable to a certain degree, this was not a fun outcome. We did get the rise of a great winner, but another season full of Russell Hantz, particularly right after the last one, was not a fun experience. On top of that, while this season did have a lot of exciting and unexpected stupid moves, they’re just too stupid for my taste. Were I of a conspiracy theory bent, I would say that these were the result of the producers stacking things in favor of Russell. As it stands, it’s just too much stupidity for me. I respect this season for it’s good points, but it’s not quite what everyone remembers it to be.

14. “Survivor Caramoan”: All right, put down the torches and pitchforks, I can see them from here! Like I said, it’s my list, and I think “Survivor Caramoan”, as a whole, is a strong season. Did we get a lot of unlikeable characters? Sure. Is the beginning of the season, apart from the first episode, a slog? Certainly. But that back half, man, you can’t knock the back half. We had people making moves that ought not to work, but do, and on a regular basis. Unlike some other seasons, though, these moves come not from a place of stupidity, but from a place of strategy, which is far more entertaining in my book. Seriously, I get that it’s hard to sit through the beginning, but man is it worth it! This is a post-merge situation where something interesting is happening literally every episode. It gives us a great winner who isn’t entirely predictable, has its fair share of epic challenges, and gives some formerly maligned players new respect. Yeah, the people on the “Fans” side of things could have been stronger, and that reunion show was a travesty, but I think it would also be a travesty to put this season any lower. The post-merge game is just that strong.

13. “Survivor Blood vs. Water”: Despite having the stigma of the “Redemption Island” twist, “Survivor Blood vs. Water” manages to be a very good season, but not for the reasons I usually give. No, this season may be one of the most interpersonally interesting seasons to date. It was a bold move to bring on related people to “Survivor”, and as we saw with “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, it could easily backfire. This is where returning castaways get used well, as they make it more likely that, even if a twist does go awry, the season won’t necessarily be a flop. But it wasn’t a flop, and the new dynamic of playing with loved ones both changed up strategy in new and interesting ways, and gave us some of the most touching moments the show’s ever had, while simultaneously avoiding any awkward family-ruining moments, by and large. And don’t think it was just the returnees that made this a good season. No, their loved ones came to play, and gave us many of the best moments of the season. While the winner was once again pretty clearly broadcast from an early date, this time there were actual credible threats to the dominant alliance, and a number of times it almost got overthrown. That, right there, is exciting. Add some fun challenges onto that, and it’s hard to find fault with this season. Why doesn’t this become a “Phenomenal Season”, then? A few reasons. First off, Colton. While I am happy that we got Caleb Bankston out of the deal, we just didn’t need to see Colton again. True, his time there was short, and he got humiliated, but that doesn’t help matter. Second, the “Redemption Island” twist. While I maintain that this was the best iteration of said twist, that’s like saying a lunch of a broccoli and peanut butter sandwich is made better with the addition of a chocolate chip cookie. The cookie is nice, but it doesn’t change the fact that that sandwich is awful. But the most damning factor for this season is that, for me, a lot of it blends together. Sure, it had its share of stand-out moments, but it’s often hard for me to distinguish one episode from another, or remember to boot order accurately, which puts it just out of “phenomenal” range. Those interpersonal moments, though. Those deserve all the respect in the world.

PHENOMENAL SEASONS

12. “Survivor Gabon”: Even though “Survivor Gabon” holds a special place in my heart and always will, I’ll admit in recent years I’ve come to see some of the spots of the season. There’s a lot to like about it, but there are also a lot of dead spaces, particularly in the early parts of the game. Still, a strong finish is better than a strong start for me, and this season finished strong. True, it is a bit annoying how the failure of the Fang tribe was so clearly broadcast, thus taking away suspense for the audience, but again, this was a season all about the post-merge, not the pre-merge. This was the season of the underdog. We were given a lot of people early on who seemed set to take control of the game, making for a bland season. In a twist, however, those people were overthrown by the underdog players, who were themselves later overthrown! As you can tell, a very shake-up heavy season, and all the better for it, in my opinion. I’ve heard some people say that the cast, particularly Randy Bailey and Corinne Kaplan, but they didn’t bother me. They seemed more like engaging misanthropes than genuinely awful people, and their commentary made the season a laugh riot. Plus, a unique location and good challenges. Other people’s criticisms aren’t without merit, but I think they miss the good points of this season. We got a lot of interesting shakeups, particularly later on, a fair number of good characters, and a fun, non-obvious winner.

11. “Survivor Philippines”: A bit of an odd duck for the “Phenomenal Seasons” section as I’ve said before and will say again that “Survivor Philippines”, which a good, consistent season, doesn’t stand out much. Once again, it’s a case of rewatch making everything better. There’s a lot of good background material that makes the season better, and it helps that most of the strong people make the merge. That’s what really puts it up there, though: the merge people, particularly the endgame. Looking back at all the seasons, it’s rare that I don’t have at least one finalist to root against, but I liked pretty much everyone this season at the end, which ups it a lot. True, it does nothing spectacularly right, but even the best seasons have one or two mistakes. If nothing else, “Survivor Philippines” must be acknowledged for doing nothing wrong, and having a lot of smart gameplay within it.

10. “Survivor Palau”: Another rarity on this list: a season that does not benefit from rewatch. “Survivor Palau” is best described as a spectacle. It had a lot of things we’d never seen before as an audience, a really distinctive aesthetic style, and many over-the-top characters and arguments. Plus, some of the best challenges of the show ever. My beef with “Survivor Palau” is that, while it does have strategic game to enjoy, it’s pushed back in favor of the spectacle, which does not sit well with me. Plus, the overemotionally at the end gets a bit grating. Still, one can’t take one’s eyes off the spectacle, and so “Survivor Palau”deserves credit for that.

9. “Survivor Borneo”: Having no nostalgia goggles where “Survivor Borneo” is concerned, I see it as more of an interesting case study than an actual season of the show. “Survivor Borneo” is a very different season, which is both an advantage and a disadvantage. It lands this high on the list because of its historical significance, and because it has things you’re not going to see anywhere else, such as people dawning on the idea of strategy only partway through the game, and a focus more on interpersonal interaction than any other season, save perhaps “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. Sadly, these differences are not always good. There’s a fair amount of whining about morality, which I can’t stand, and “Survivor Borneo” can be hard to follow, since the strategic game was not the forefront of the show. I can’t deny that “Survivor Borneo” is an engaging watch, but it’s just too different, and not always in a good way, to put any higher.

8. “Survivor Tocantins”: “Survivor Tocantins” is a season that, at first glance, isn’t very special, but gets better and better every time you go through it. Unspectacular apart from location (no real interesting challenges or twists), “Survivor Tocantins” has a very fascinating strategic game. We get an underdog tribe coming back to win everything, but it wasn’t blatantly set up that way. Plus, due to a slow start for them, you really got to see how things all came together to get the Jalapao 3 an edge. True, this season had its share of uninteresting or annoying characters, but most of the people there were pretty nice people, and the bond between J.T. and Stephen Feshbach that permeates this season really makes for an enjoyable watch. If only for those two, this is a great season.

7. “Survivor The Amazon”: Often called “The Season that Invented Modern ‘Survivor’”, “Survivor The Amazon” earns its title well. This season was vastly unpredictable, start to finish, and created a lot of big names in a unique location. I’ve never been a big fan of the winner, but on rewatch, I can respect her game more than before. Really, the only strike against this season is that the “Young Men are Horny” theme, while occasionally funny, was overplayed. It got annoying really fast. Thankfully, this season had a good mix of both humor and strategy, so it’s still good, just not as good as it otherwise might have been.

6. “Survivor Vanuatu”: I’ve complained before about seasons with just strategists sometimes being boring, but if you want to see it done right, watch “Survivor Vanuatu”. This was a season with very few big characters, and not a lot remarkable in either the twist or aesthetic department (though a few fun challenges and cultural tidbits were thrown in there). What this season did have, though, was intelligence. We really got to see some of the best minds going at it, and while they weren’t the biggest characters of the show, they also seemed like nice people while doing it. That’s quite a rarity in and of itself. What really sets this season apart, though, is the comeback by the winner. Were it not for the victory of Chris Daugherty, down 6-1, this season would not be so high. As it is, watching with that journey in mind, this is a fantastic season, and a great study in general “Survivor” strategy.

5. “Survivor Africa”: If you want to talk unique locations and good challenges, you want to talk “Survivor Africa”. Even if the cast had been duds, this was still going to be a memorable season for location alone. Once again, though, we got the best of all possible worlds. This season gave us a lot of big characters and interpersonal drama, which did go a bit overboard once or twice, but was largely just fun television. Here, in my opinion, is where the strategic game really started to take off. This season gave us some new ideas, such as throwing a challenge and flipping (ineffectively) against your original numbers. With a largely likable cast behind these factors, “Survivor Africa”, in my opinion, blends the best of both old school and new school “Survivor”, keeping in both the strategic and personal elements, while not descending into parody.

4. “Survivor Guatemala”: Now, HERE’S where my nostalgia goggles show up. “Survivor Guatemala” was the first season I saw that I really appreciated, and I still hold that it has value. It’s got some good twists, challenges, and stands out as a location, and while the cast had some grumps in it, I largely found them to be entertaining grumps. Plus, again, good strategy with a lot of shake-ups, and an overall likable group. Frankly, it’s a travesty that no one from this season has ever been brought back again.

3. “Survivor Cagayan”: One of the most recent marvels in “Survivor” history. What most people have pointed to as this season’s greatest strength, which is true, is that most everyone on this season came to play. However good or bad they were at playing, they all came to play. On top of this, with few exceptions, most everyone was a character, as well as a strategist, meaning this season had something for everyone. The “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” start worked well to distinguish this season from others, but was not pushed on us so much that it became intrusive. True, not every twist hit the mark, and Tony Vlachos is not the most likable winner, but the good of the strategy and the character’s memorable moments outweighs the bad. “Survivor Cagayan” stands up there with the greatest of seasons.

2. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: Talk about a season with more iconic moments than any other. While maybe not the MOST strategic season ever, this one still had its moments strategically, and several good comeuppance points. But the players, man! Apart from perhaps “Survivor Borneo”, this may be the most recognizable group to ever play, and for good reason. Nary a dud among them, this season just exudes fun from every pore, while still having enough strategy to be taken seriously. While the Outcast Twist and Jonny Fairplay were not the best elements to have, they’re both outweighed by the good, and in the case of the former, was an obvious idea that had to be tried at least once.

“Survivor Micronesia”: This one tops the list for being, in my eyes, the most unpredictable season to date. The winner was never clearly broadcast, and while stated plans usually happened, they were so illogical that you couldn’t believe they’d work. This season played its cards close to the chest, and it works well, throwing both the audience as well as the players for a loop. Plus, great challenges, some delightfully stupid moments, and a lot of big characters on both sides. Just an enjoyable romp with some of the best strategy the show’s ever had, and well deserving of the #1 spot for its unpredictability.

And there you have the rankings. Hopefully you found them enjoyable. Well, this was a long blog, and I need rest before “Survivor Cambodia” starts. Where will it fall? tune in on September 23rd and find out! “Idol Speculation” will be there, covering it all.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Nicaragua

HOLD EVERYTHING! I’ve found the time in my hectic life to start writing again, so I demand that you drop everything and read my pointless pontifications about “Survivor”! In all seriousness, this is very belated, but it’s time once again to start up “Survivor Retrospectives” a (somewhat) objective look back at “Survivor” seasons past, and seeing how they hold up in the passage of time. And we’re starting off with a doozy of a season this time! Yes, what this summer’s editions of “Survivor Retrospectives” may lack in quantity compared to other summers, we more than make up for in the quality of the seasons that must be assessed. Now, not to say that “Survivor Nicaragua” is a good season, far from it. In fact, Nicaragua is one of the most maligned seasons to date, and many people consider it the worst season of the show ever. But extremely bad seasons are just as much fun to analyze as extremely good seasons, and oh baby do we have a string of bad seasons coming up! Nicaragua just happens to kick off that list. But, does Nicaragua deserve the terrible reputation it gets? Frankly yes. Even I, who loves to have unpopular opinions about “Survivor” can’t defend this season as being “good”. But, is it quite as bad as everyone makes it out to be? I think not. Let’s take a closer look, and see exactly what this season does right, and why it doesn’t outweigh everything it does wrong.

Since it’s been a while, though, I feel compelled to remind everyone that this blog will contain spoilers. If you want to watch “Survivor Nicaragua” spoiler-free, do not read this blog! If you want to know whether Nicaragua is worth watching, but don’t want spoilers, scroll down to the bottom of this page, where I will have a section labeled “Abstract”. There you will find a spoiler-free opinion on the season as a whole, which should help in your decision. But enough chit-chat! Time to dissect this season for all it’s worth, starting with the place we usually begin, the cast.

CAST

As with many a bad “Survivor” season, people will tell you that the cast is the big problem with the season, and Nicaragua is a great example of this. In my opinion, however, the cast of Nicaragua is NOT it’s great weakness. It’s not a good cast, don’t get me wrong, but people tend to take a few bad apples and say that they poison the whole cast, forgetting that there were actually a few good characters in amongst the bad. Chief among these, most people will tell you, is Brenda Lowe, our “villain” for the season. I put “villain” in quotation marks on the basis that, at the time it was airing, most people considered Brenda a villain. Nowadays, though, compared to the rest of the cast, she’s considered the best thing to come out of Nicaragua, and therefore a hero. It also helps that she’s the only person from Nicaragua to ever come back. I can’t deny, I like Brenda about as much as everyone else does. A smart strategist who also happened to be an attractive young woman, Brenda was inevitably compared to Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Cook Islands”), which I don’t feel was entirely fair. The pair aren’t dissimilar, but while Parvati mainly played the flirt game and brought together a women’s alliance (along with a few side deals), Brenda took a different route. True, Brenda did use her looks to win a few allies to her side (notably Chase Rice), but she took the more straightforward route of creating a dominating alliance, and then spinning around those not allied with her to keep them off-balance. Not dissimilar, but also I think selling Brenda a bit short, making her seem like she was just a clone of Parvati. As I’ve discussed before, seasons and people can fall victim to simply coming after a popular season, and being compared unfairly to that season. Granted, I don’t think Brenda has too much of a problem with this, but I would say she’s slightly underrated. Not quite as underrated, though, as her strategic rival, Marty Piombo. Initially on the opposite tribe from Brenda, it seemed as though Marty was going to be Brenda’s rival come the merge. After the inevitable tribe swap, though, that storyline was sped up, as Marty ended up on the same tribe as Brenda, and in the minority. This, however, made him infinitely more interesting. Now Marty was having to struggle for his life, and as an obvious target, he was likely to be gone. Thankfully, Marty was no dummy, and despite being targeted numerous times before the merge, managed to talk his way out of it many times, most famously with his “Chess Grandmaster” lie to Jud “Fabio” Birza, who we’ll be talking about later. This made for a really compelling story, and there’s a reason these three episodes of the season (where Marty was struggling and on the outs) are remembered most favorably out of all the rest of the season. Marty made for good tv, and between his wit and his strategy, I also liked him a lot. A shame he hasn’t come back.

Of those who are remembered fondly from Nicaragua, Brenda and Marty are about the only ones who get any sort of talk today, but people forget that there are a few others from Nicaragua who, at the time at least, were actually quite popular. In particular, a duo of older women (a demographic “Survivor” loves to ignore, for whatever reason) who are now forgotten unfairly, in my opinion. First up is Holly Hoffman, our underdog for the season. Holly was initially maligned coming in, and not entirely unfairly. Her first major act of the season was to crack under the strain of survival and the game, and toss fellow contestant Dan Lembo’s shoes into the ocean, having first filled them with sand. Not exactly the start to make anyone like you or be impressed with you. Holly, however, saw what she was doing and turned her game around, becoming another of the strategic masterminds of her tribe, along with Marty. Things really took off for her after the tribe swap, where she managed to take control of her game, and even overcome being on the bottom a few times. It was a similar story arc to Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien’s on “Survivor Marquesas”, only with not quite as sharp a learning curve. Whereas Kathy clearly had no idea what the game was about going in, you got the sense that Holly knew what was going on, and was just unable to make use of it at the start. Still, she was an interesting character and good strategist who wasn’t a jerk, and very easy to like. Even she, though, was somewhat overshadowed by the other awesome older lady, Jane Bright. In a sense the opposite of Holly, Jane was no strategic mastermind, and brought into the alliance more often than not (even though Marty had it in for her, for whatever reason), but her big factor was her survival skills. One of few people to ever come on the show knowing how to make fire, Jane proved to be an invaluable asset from that standpoint of the game. These days, it’s rare to see a hard-core survivalist on the show, but to have it be one of the oldest people in the game? Unheard of! No one talks about her anymore, but it’s important to remember that, at the time, Jane was the most beloved of the cast. Don’t believe me? She, and not the currently-beloved Brenda or Marty, won the “Player of the Season” award. And I’ll admit, while I nowadays find her vacuum of intelligence a bit grating, I still like her. It’s just cool to me to see this little old lady doing so incredibly well compared to these young bucks. So yeah, Jane’s pretty cool, and so is Holly. In effect, it could be argued they started the modern trend of having awesome older-lady characters on the show, and they deserve credit for that. But even though they started the trend, I find that they are not remembered precisely because of said trend. The older-lady characters who came after them did what they did, but better, and were from overall better seasons. As such, Holly and Jane kind of get the shaft. Still, this does not change the fact that Holly and Jane are pretty cool, and arguably high points of the season.

Now we move onto the characters who are kind of mixed bags. First and foremost is winner Fabio, who I mentioned before. Living up to his in-show nickname, Fabio was very good looking, but an idiot and accident-prone. The latter trait was occasionally funny, but for the most part, Fabio always felt to me like a waste of space. At the time he was a fairly well-liked winner, partly because of his claim that he played up his stupidity to get farther in the game. I buy this argument to a degree, but he’s still pretty much a dumb blonde, and it’s not that surprising that he’s been forgotten in the passage of time. I’ll talk more later about how he was the best possible outcome for the season, given the final three, but on the whole, not the best winner of all seasons, and it’s understandable that he’s forgotten. Also to be mentioned is early boot stunt-cast Jimmy Johnson. As a different take on casting sports stars on previous seasons, the show cast Jimmy J., a former football coach and sport commentator. Not a bad idea in concept, and it helped that Jimmy J. actually was a big fan of the show, but the trouble was that he just wan’t very interesting. All he really had going for him was the stunt aspect of his casting, which wasn’t much, and so while not hated, he is pretty well forgotten. The only other person who fits in this category is Matthew “Sash” Lenahan, another potential strategist of the season. I say “potential” not because Sash wasn’t strategic, but because he never really got the respect he deserves. Unlike a Brenda, Holly, or Marty, Sash had no charm to back up his strategy. He THOUGHT he was charming, but he came off both to the audience and the cast as a schmoozer who was completely full of it. I can’t say I don’t see where it comes from, and I get that people may not like Sash, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve respect for his moves. He was pretty much an equal partner of Brenda, was really the one responsible for not letting Marty get a foothold post-swap, and even managed to come back from being put on the bottom of the merged tribe. People may say that I’m overestimating his influence on the game, and that I’m the only one who really cares about him on this season, but damn it, Stephen Fishbach (“Survivor Tocantins”) has called him “underrated”, so THERE!

Now, sadly, we must move into the bad people of this season. As an individual, the least offensive far and away is Jimmy Tarantino, aka Jimmy T. An obnoxious braggart, Jimmy T. was never really destined to be liked. He was out quickly, his only saving grace. I didn’t like him, the audience didn’t like him, and he was overall just a waste of space on the season. Still, most would agree that he’s better than the terrible duo of Na’Onka Mixon and “Purple Kelly” Shinn. Now, the latter I can’t talk too much about, as she’s remembered for the manner of her leaving the show, which will be covered in the “Twist” section, but suffice to say here that she is, far and away, the biggest waste of space the show has ever had. Apart from her exit, the only thing memorable about her is her hair color (hence the nickname), and that’s not a good thing. This combined with her exit makes her one of the most reviled “Survivor” contestants ever. But she’s nowhere near as bad as Na’Onka. Put simply, Na’Onka was seen by most as rude and mean. She bitched about just about everybody else, played favorites, and dared to go up against crowd favorites. Apart from her exit (which will again be talked about in the “Twist” section), she’s most remembered for tripping up fellow contestant Kelly Bruno in an attempt to get a clue to the hidden immunity idol. This would be fine, if it weren’t for the fact that Kelly had a prosthetic leg, thus labeling Na’Onka as “The Woman Who’s Mean to Handicapped People”, never mind the fact that Kelly proved to be perfectly competent, and her leg in no way seemed to affect her physical game. Not an easy person to like, and I completely sympathize. Talking about Na’Onka leaves something of a bad taste in my mouth as well. That said, however, I give Na’Onka a bit more credit that everybody else, if only because I found it fascinating how someone so obnoxious, how such an awful human being, could last week after week. She’s not a pleasant aspect of the season, and it doesn’t help that she’s arguably the most memorable thing in it, but Na’Onka gets a slightly bad reputation, in my mind. What I cannot deny, though, is the fact that the rest of the cast was awful. Unlike the Na’Onka’s or Jimmy T.’s of the world, they weren’t mean or obnoxious, but they were just bland to the point of being unpleasant. It’s a bit hard to describe, but with so much of the cast as these boring, stereotypical Americans, combined with a number of unpleasant characters, those who were merely boring looked the worse. All everyone, including myself, could think was “Why couldn’t we have gotten GOOD people on the show, instead of these blank slates?” I think the best demonstration of this in Ben Henry, aka Benry, possibly the most bland person on the entire planet, who contributed nothing to the game, yet seemed like he was a big shot in his own brain. not an endearing quality. The rest of the cast not mentioned was similar, and this really is why the cast fails so much. While there were a few good people in there, the most remembered people were unpleasant, and even those where were boring came off badly, so it’s hard to call the cast overall good. Still, one should not forget those who were good, and so I rank this cast perhaps higher than others might.

SCORE: 5 out of 10

CHALLENGES

As I’ll discuss in the “Overall” section, I can kind of see why the cast of Nicaragua didn’t get a very good reception. For all my praising of some individuals, the cast overall is one of the weaker ones. No, what really suffers are the challenges of this season, which, if you look at them, are actually quite good. You had a lot of creativity thrown in at all phases, combined with some really memorable visuals. There was the Plinko board, the chute for cannonballs, the giant water wheel! Most challenges this season felt dynamic and epic. Even after the merge, we got a lot of great challenges. there was balancing coins atop a sword, the treasure chest puzzle, a lot of really quite good individual challenges. As concepts, they’re simple, but their design and execution really elevates them. And that’s a good way to describe this season’s challenges: they took a lot of risks. Some elements of challenges are repeats, to be sure, but for the most part, we had original challenges this season, which were mostly hits. Part of the problem, though, is that with every risk there comes the possibility of failure, and the trouble is that the failures were so spectacular that they’re what’s remembered, and partly explain why this season is not remembered for its challenges (that and the fact that other parts of the season were so unpleasant that people don’t even want to contemplate its challenges). Some challenges just seemed out of place for the theme of the season, like a blindfolded moving of grilling supplies. Some ideas were good in theory, like an obstacle course where teams had to smash through walls of straw, wood, and “Brick”. Once it was made clear that this was a reference to “The Three Little Pigs” however, people couldn’t take it seriously. It was just too immature and too modern for a show like “Survivor”. Then there were the challenges that just failed outright, but got overused, such as the “Hanging by a rope over the water” challenge. But the king of the bad challenges has to be the “Gulliver’s Travels” challenge. It’s bad enough when “Survivor” has to plug a bad Jack Black movie, but to have them make it into a challenge is awful. As if the reward (seeing the movie) wasn’t bad enough, the challenge featured the visual of not-competing Dan Lembo (remembered, if at all, for being short, annoying, and contributing nothing) sitting in a far too big chair, adding a sense of ridiculousness to an already ridiculous challenge. So yeah, there were some real stinkers in this one. On the whole, though, there were still a lot of good challenges to be found here, and I think that the overall opinion on the season unfairly maligns the challenges.

SCORE: 7 out of 10

TWISTS

Most people will say the cast is where this season falls short, but I contend that it’s really here, in the twists, where this season falls flat. Plain and simple, there were just too many of them, and most of them fell flat. While it’s fair to say that some of them were good IDEAS, it’s hard to come up with a single major twist (either producer-implemented or cast-implemented) that actually panned out. And they started even before the season began! For Nicaragua, fans were allowed to vote on one person who would enter into the game, based on one-minute videos on CBS.com This led to the inclusion of Jimmy T. in the cast. Not a bad idea in theory. The trouble is that, as mentioned, this twist gave us Jimmy T., who both didn’t last long and was incredibly annoying, leading to a lot of letdown from the fans. Things didn’t improve when it came out that the top 10 finalists for the contest (the only ones fans were allowed to vote on) were CBS recruits told to apply this way. Not a good day for CBS. Also minor but worth mentioning is the fact that starting in Nicaragua, “Survivor” shifted back to airing on Wednesday nights, as it had during “Survivor Borneo” but not since then. It didn’t impact the season as a whole, but it is a part of “Survivor” history, and did show that the fancies is loyal to a fault. Rather than give up on the show (easy to do 21 seasons in), people shifted their viewing schedules. Trust me, this factoid is the HIGH point of the twists.

Starting in the game proper, we have another twist that was in theory a good idea, but in practice ended up a bad idea. This time around, the tribes were divided up by age, into the 40 and older Espada, and the 30 and younger La Flor (initially hidden from the contestants by mixing the tribes entering). A pretty simple twist, but it makes sense. We’ve had “Battle of the Sexes”, why not “Battle of the Ages”? And like some other twists I’ll discuss in future retrospectives, I think this one had the potential to be a good twist, but was brought down in execution. The problem was that, despite CBS’ efforts to counteract this effect, the obvious outcome of the younger people dominating the older people in challenges (except for Jane on the individual level) came to pass. I place part of the blame on CBS, as I think they could probably have found some more fit older contestants, or else made the challenges more puzzle-heavy than they were, but part of it’s just the nature of “Survivor”. I’m ok with the “Old vs. Young” twist, as it had to be done at some point, but even I admit that it fell flat. Not that CBS didn’t TRY to correct for the physical disparity, of course! Oh no, we had to sit through the poorly named and poorly planned out “Medallion of Power”. A little item hunted for at the start of the game, the tribe with the Medallion of Power could hand it in at any challenge and be given an advantage in said challenge. An obvious attempt to balance out the challenges for the older contestants, this twist was even stupider than its name, which is saying a lot. Apart from making the older contestants seem like wimps for having to have this crutch, the Medallion of Power was overpowered, to say the least. Add on the fact that the younger contestants held onto it for most of it’s (admittedly short) tenure, and you’ve got a twist no one loved, including myself. Thankfully, it was retired in Episode 5, and will never be heard from again. A minor note: this season changed up how the idol was hidden. For once, it was by no major landmarks, instead relying on correctly calculating how many yards the idol would be buried from a certain landmark. Additionally, the clue was done pictographically, rather than a word clue, which was a nice change. It made the idols harder to find, and allowed the viewers at home to play along, since no visual clue was shown in the editing to where the idol was. This wasn’t a major twist of the season, but it’s a very positive little detail.

Apart from the aforementioned sabotage of Dan’s shoes by Holly, nothing of note happened until Episode 5, when the tribe swap occurred. In a change up from past swaps, a leader of each tribe was randomly selected by rocks. However, rather than have this person simply get first pick on the new tribe, the leaders were told to select a certain number of people from the other tribe (to make the numbers balance out) to join their tribe. Holly and Brenda ended up picking, which didn’t lead to much excitement. Brenda was already the leader of La Flor, so this just gave her more power, and while Holly wasn’t the power player of Espada (that would be Marty), she had been moving up the ranks, and this only cemented her power position. Once again, this is not a bad idea for a swap, but the execution ended up being poor, because it just game the power players more power. Admittedly, this one could be seen as successful, as it gave us the compelling “Marty as Underdog” storyline, but it would have been cooler to see someone on the bottom be in control.

Following on the “Marty as Underdog” storyline, we get his surprising survival as an underdog, first by getting Kelly Bruno targeted at a double Tribal Council, and then by making Jill Behm seem a bigger target. This also got Sash his hidden immunity idol (Brenda and Na’Onka having found the other one), as he made a deal with Marty that, in being saved, Marty would give up his idol to Sash. A shining moment for Sash, and a rare moment of stupidity for Marty, but as I say, not as bad as some of the other aspects of this season.

Now comes the merge, and here’s where things get tricky. It’s worth noting, though, that during the merge was the first instance of someone left out of a reward challenge post-merge being allowed to choose a side to root for, and go with them on reward potentially. A pretty good idea, but not a major twist of the season, just one of those little things to like. The dominant alliance was always hazy at best, so we got some nice blindsides. I say “Nice” in that they were really tricky blindsides, but had the problem of getting rid of good people). After the surprising vote-off of Alina “Dirt Squirrel” Wilson for no particular reason, the power trio of Brenda, Sash, and Na’Onka (the only discernible alliance) took out Marty, who at this point was really a fan favorite. A good gameplay blindside, but as I’ll discuss in a bit, it was the start of a negative turn for the season. One of the favorite contestants got voted out, with several episodes to go, this is not a good thing. This was followed by a shake-up, in which Na’Onka flipped along with a few other non-memorables to join Holly’s alliance, voting off Brenda in the process. This seems like a good “Survivor” move, and it is. The trouble is, like Marty, Brenda was a darling of the fans (though less so after her vote off, as she refused to “scramble” which many people saw as arrogant and pathetic), and to see her vote off, most people to root for were gone. Not to mention, this kept Na’Onka, who EVERYONE hated, in power. Not a good situation for the show, but it could still recover. And it might have done, if not for what happened next.

Late in the game (Final 8), Na’Onka, despite being in the dominant alliance, decided, for no apparent reason, that she’d had enough, and would like to quit. Having done nothing for the past 20-odd days, Purple Kelly jumped right along with her, and decided that she wanted out. This is what the season is remembered for, and it is a HORRIBLE twist. Seeing people quit is never fun, and seeing people quit this late in the game for no discernible reason is downright despicable. On the heels of the two great games of the season being ejected, this felt to most viewers, including myself, like a great insult to the game. And it was. The kicker, though, was that Na’Onka and Purple Kelly were still allowed on the jury, which many people saw as an insult. Probst’s justification was that Janu, who also quit post-merge on “Survivor Palau” had been allowed on the jury, so precedent was set. I get this justification, and I agree with it. That doesn’t make it feel good, however. This led to the “Quitter clause” now standard in “Survivor” contracts, wherein this who quit the game can be denied the right to sit on the jury, or even get their prize money. Yes, that’s how bad this twist was, and the major issue is that THIS is what’s remembered about this season. Not good.

It’s during this period that we also get the “Someone can give up individual reward for extra camp supplies” twist, which is a fun edition, but nothing major. The Libertad camp also got set on fire at this point, which was mildly interesting, but had been done before on “Survivor The Amazon”, and so came off as trite and cliched. The only other thing of note this season was that Fabio went on a string of immunity runs to win the game, which was mildly impressive to watch, but again, we’d seen it before. Sash did overcome being sent to the bottom of the totem pole by Brenda’s vote out, but again, not that impressive.

This was a season screwed over in terms of twists. A lot of front loaded producer-implemented twists made the season seem weak from the start, and while the twists were eased up on later, most of the twists, both producer and cast-based alike, really just didn’t come off well. A few minor ones, like the pictographic idol clues and the sit-out being allowed to bet on the winner were kind of fun, but they just don’t overcome the overwhelming sense of horribleness these twists exude.

SCORE: 2 out of 10.

OVERALL

Nicaragua is not the most unique of locations, but the production did what they could to make it unique. They gave it a conquistador theme to help distinguish the season, and while it made it distinct, they made it a bit too over-the-top for a “Survivor” theme. For my part, I found the Christian Iconography off-putting, even though I concede it’s appropriate for the theme. This was also where we REALLY started getting into “plastic” “Survivor”, where everything put in seemed a little too fake. We’d gotten it somewhat with “Survivor Samoa” and “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, but it came out in force here. Everything just felt like it didn’t fit in with the show, and this trend would not be corrected, even partially, until “Survivor Philippines”, and even then it took a while. One detail that I don’t hear people talk about, but that I think really hurt the season, was the theme music. For some reason I can’t comprehend, the producers, rather than go with an original theme song, decided to use the version from “Survivor Borneo”. This was a terrible creative decision. This wasn’t any sort of anniversary for the show, nor was it some sort of All-Star season where they might have wanted to hearken back to seasons past. What this move came off as was a “This season is bad, so let’s make it look better by reminding people of a good season!” play, and it really undermined the season before it started.

But that’s just the production theme, what about cast themes? Well, the cast themes are, if anything, worse. As I said, a major problem of this season is timing, and not just because it came after the acclaimed “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” (though that was also a contributing factor). No, Nicaragua was never going to be one of the great seasons, just due to the facts that the twists were lackluster, and most of the cast was boring or unpleasant. No, the timing problem really shows itself post-merge. Even with a season with a weak cast, there are one or two standouts that, if they make it to the end, can make the season ok. In this case, those standouts were Marty and Brenda. That the two went back-to-back, fairly early in the merge, was a hard enough blow. But then, right on its heals, comes the quitting of Na’Onka and Purple Kelly. Think about this for a second. You’ve got the two fan favorites thus far, the two best strategists, the two most dynamic players of the game, voted out one right after the other, with several episodes to go. this alone is hard enough to recover from. But then you get the two most DISLIKED players, quitting, right afterwards, leaving a bad taste in your mouth. All anyone could think was “Why did THESE people get to stay longer than Brenda and Marty?” I’m not saying that Brenda and Marty being voted out, or Na’Onka and Purple Kelly quitting would have been easy to handle on their own, but happening one right after the other, the badness just compounded, and the season couldn’t recover. You were left with a bunch of bad people around, although Jane and Holly might have salvaged the season a bit, but our final 3 ended up being Sash, Chase, and Fabio. A unlikeable strategist, a boring nice guy, and a likable idiot. Of the three, the Fabio win was probably the best possible outcome, but even then, it was a poor choice. Notice also that the final three was entirely young people. While both tribes had their unlikeable people, it was clear that on the whole, the older side was more interesting and more likable. To have the young people dominate so, it was the final nail in the coffin. The big problem with the season though, is the quit. It’s unpleasant, and it’s what’s remembered out of the whole season. While this season does have a few underrated qualities (Brenda and Marty, and some minor twists), I cannot deny that the overall effect of Nicaragua is unpleasant. Is it overly hated on? I’d say so. But does it deserved to be hated? Yes. Yes it does.

SCORE: 16 out of 40

ABSTRACT

Nicaragua is not one of the shining jewels of “Survivor” A lot of boring cast members and unpleasant twists make this one a hard watch. I’d recommend this one only for the hardcore “Survivor” completionist. One contestant does return in a future season, but they make so little of an impact that Nicaragua does not need to be seen to appreciate them. Still, although you will find it hated in the community as a whole, it has one or two minor details that might make it worth a watch, if you’re willing to tolerate a lot of irritating elements. On the whole, though, I agree with the consensus. While I’m not as vehement in this stance, I say skip this season.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Worlds Apart” Episode 11: Mad With Power

OH MY GOD, THEY’RE GIVING THE FANS THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE THE CAST OF NEXT SEASON! What’s more, they’re making it a “second chances” season, meaning none of the repeat players that we’ve had to put up with over the past several “All-Stars” seasons! Both ideas that fans have been screaming for for years, but now we get them all in one fell swoop! You cannot believe how exciting this is for me! I can hardly SLEEP just thinking about how great an idea this is, and considering all the possible permutations this twist could take on! Oh, and I guess there’s an episode that needs to be blogged, but who cares, it’s a FAN CHOSEN CAST!

Well, with the obligatory ginormous fangasm out of the way, i should apologize for the lateness of this most recent blog. A few school things came up that forced me to not watch the episode for a few days, and I haven’t had the time until now to get around to writing this blog. And it’s a shame, because this isn’t a bad episode by any stretch. The problem is that the twist for next season, revealed at the end of the episode, is so big that it kind of overshadows everything else. Still, this does not mean the episode itself is not worth talking about, so lets see what it gave us.

As you might expect, our first scene of the episode is the fallout from Tyler and Will voting for Sound-Byte Dan in the previous episode. Sound-Byte Dan is understandably pissed off that his alliance turned on him (and that he’s at the bottom of the alliance as a result), but I somehow doubt that Sound-Byte Dan will actually try to proactively IMPROVE his position. Not to say that Tyler handles things much better. He admits to Sound-Byte Dan that he voted for him, explaining that he had no other choice in the matter, as Shirin and Mike were gunning for him, so if Mike played the idol, Tyler needed a backup plan. Now, just from that description, it’s hard to say exactly how Tyler handled things badly. After all, NOT admitting to voting for Sound-Byte Dan would only lead to suspicion, backbiting, and overall dissension amongst the ranks, and Tyler’s justification is a pretty good excuse. My problem is in how Tyler presents this argument. He gets incredibly angry at Sound-Byte Dan, blowing up on him almost as much as Sound-Byte Dan blows up on him. This is not the way to win friends an influence people. Better would have for Tyler to present the same arguments, but in a humble “I’m sorry, I panicked, it won’t happen again.” sort of way. I suppose no harm is done, as Sound-Byte Dan doesn’t seem bitter, but it’s a rare misstep on Tyler’s part. Will basically stymies the argument before it can get to out of hand, but comes up and admits to Sound-Byte Dan how he voted in private, and the two hug it out. Tyler takes most of the heat as a result.

Speaking of Tyler, once this scene is over, we get to discussing who will be going in lieu of Mike this week. After all, his revealing his idol means that everyone knows he’s safe. Sound-Byte Dan may bring up this topic, but it’s Tyler who gives us a target. Tyler, if you’ll recall, found out that Sound-Byte Dan won an extra vote at the auction a few episodes ago, and with the numbers dwindling, Tyler fears it. Certainly justified, but I fear Tyler may be a little too gung-ho on the “Vote off Sound-Byte Dan” strategy. After all, if those two votes are on your side, you’re in a much better position. Plus, Sound-Byte Dan=Great jury goat. Just saying.

Day 30 dawns, and as Rodney does not fail to remind us, it’s his birthday. Everyone gives him birthday wishes, and swear they’ll take him on the reward, if possible. Everyone except Mike and Sierra, because they don’t like him. Do I even have to go into why this is a bad idea? Making deals about rewards is one of the worst things you can do on this show. You’re limiting yourself strategically if you follow through on the deal, and if you don’t follow through, you look like a jackass in from of the tribe. Kind of a lose-lose situation, unless the person you agree to take (or give up reward for) is someone you want to strategize with. Rodney is not that person for anybody. Therefore, bad idea. On the subject of Rodney’s complaining about never going on a reward, I’m a bit torn. On the one hand, I can understand the attitude. Being stuck in the same place day after day can get a bit grating, and as most “Survivor” contestants are selected to have a love of winning, it can’t be easy. On the other hand, it comes across to me as whining. You’re not out there to win rewards, you’re out there to win the game as a whole. Suck up the bad an deal with it.

Sure enough, a reward challenge for a lot of dickish potential appears. A combination of several past challenges, tribe members are divided into two teams of three (with one person being left out with no shot at reward) who must unwind themselves from a maypole, assemble a ladder to retrieve a bag of balls, then make their way through a tight net crawl to a catapult-like device, where they attempt to launch five balls into five targets. First team to hit all the targets get the alternate-season requisite “Givings supplies to the needy of the country” reward, and also barbecue. Not a bad reward, and as I say, it’s always good to give back to the host country where possible. I don’t have that much issue with the challenge either, but it’s kind of underwhelming. As I said, it’s a combination of challenges from past seasons (the maypole is from “Survivor South Pacific”, the catapulting of balls at targets originated on “Survivor Redemption Island”, and the ladder comes from time immemorial), but fairly original combinations. The maypole, while looking silly, and being simplified from its original version (the one on “Survivor South Pacific” had everyone moving at once, while this one stuck with one person moving at a time), is fairly tricky, and not an overused challenge mechanic. The ladder is standard, but I like that the rungs must be assembled off-kilter, so that not everything is horizontal. Sadly, the last part of the challenge is pretty standard, and like I said, while not a BAD challenge, it just doesn’t stand out. Plus, ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE POST-MERGE TEAM CHALLENGES!

The red team has Mike, Sierra, and Carolyn, while the blue team has Rodney, Dan, and Tyler, with Will unsurprisingly not getting chosen. A pretty even match, and it’s actually something of a back-and-forth challenge. The red team takes an early lead, largely due to some blunders by Rodney, but they catch up on the ball-catapulting part. Mike insists on doing the whole thing himself, and while not bad at it per se, he’s not the best. I think I’m getting what Sound-Byte Dan was saying previously about Mike being a showboater. Sierra asks to go in at one point, but Mike insists on doing it all himself. An odd attitude, and one that’s not very conducive to winning the game. While I get that Mike may feel like an outcast after his alliance gets decimated, trying to do everything by yourself, particularly when it lets the other team catch up, is not conducive to winning friends and influencing people. Indeed, if Sound-Byte Dan is to be believed, then it’s actually hurting Mike’s game a great deal. Dude, it’s not the end of the world if you let other people do the challenge.

Unlike last episode, it seems that Mike’s insistence on doing the challenge himself actually pays off, as he pulls out a narrow victory for the red team. Rodney, still having not gone on a reward, is downtrodden, particularly when Carolyn goes back on her word and does not give up her spot to Rodney, saying that she really wants this experience. Yeah, Carolyn, you still come off pretty dickish in that scenario. I get that you could technically say that Carolyn only promised to TAKE Rodney on the reward, and not to give it up to him, but it amounts to the same thing, and rodent’s pissed, so I see no difference.

The reward is pretty standard for the giving back to the community reward. Lots of touching moments with he kids, lots of “life changing experience” interviews. All nice stuff, but all stuff we’ve seen before. Plus, Woo from “Survivor Cagayan” giving kids a karate demonstration is a hard act to follow. Normally on these rewards, I complain that the show only gives sports equipment, rather than useful items, but this one had a nice mix. What I WILL complain about is the fact that the buildings seen in the background, presumably the campus of the orphanage that is the recipient of this season’s largesse, looked pretty run-down. I get that building stuff doesn’t make for good tv, but couldn’t you maybe, I don’t know, REPAIR those buildings? I think that might go a long way towards helping the orphaned kids, more so than the requisite sports equipment (though the new clothes and school supplies are nice).

Just a disclaimer here: do not take my criticism of what was done as being disparaging towards the idea of a reward that gives back. I have said in the past and will say in the future that this is a very good thing for the show to do, and whether it’s the most beneficial or not, it’s nice to see a show that doesn’t just come in, exploit a country for shooting purposes, and leave.

Back at the camp, Rodney does what he does best: complain! Sure enough, Carolyn is the recipient of most of it, as Rodney considers her to have gone back on her word about the reward. Yeah, Carolyn, promising to take Rodney on the reward was a GREAT idea! Fortunately, Rodney’s complaining quickly morphs into another Rodney staple: stupidity, though at least this time it’s semi-entertaining stupidity. Rodney gives us the advertised “I want to be voted off” spiel, and sure enough, it was false advertising. Contrary to my wish that Rodney leave this game, it is instead a “clever” ploy to lull Mike into a false sense of security, thereby meaning he won’t play the idol, and will get voted out. This is a horrible plan with little chance of working. I don’t think Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”) could have pulled it off, and he’s the MASTER of making ludicrous plans somehow work. Tyler and even Sound-Byte Dan are skeptical of this plan, as they also realize how unlikely it is to work. Add onto that the fact that you run the risk of people taking you at your word and making you leave early (as happened to Zane on “Survivor Philippines”), and you’ve got an all-around bad idea. Sure enough, when Mike gets back to camp, Rodney tries to plan, and Mike out-and-out states that he doesn’t believe it. So, mildly entertaining though it was, it was also disappointing, and as it amounted to nothing, you could say this scene was entirely pointless.

We quickly move to our immunity challenge, and oh, boy, do I have a bone to pick with it. It’s the “lean back over the water” challenge that originated in “Survivor Nicaragua”, and has since been used so much that I’m sick of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a tough challenge, but it’s rarely that cool to look at, and I’m just tired of seeing it.

As this challenge favors the skinny yet strong, Carolyn wins, and we set about our debate for the evening. As Mike did not fall for Rodney’s stupid plan, we’re back to the original target of Sound-Byte Dan. Mike, however, has other ideas, and tries to convince people to vote out Tyler, due to his being a major threat. Tyler, due to not being a moron, realizes this, and campaigns equally hard for it to be Sound-Byte Dan, on the basis of his advantage. The plan is for four of Rodney’s alliance to go for Mike (to ensure he plays his idol), while two (Carolyn and Sierra) vote for Sound-Byte Dan as a backup. Carolyn admits, actually pretty convincingly, that she’s torn, but I don’t see why. Normally, in a group of six, I’d say jettisoning a loyal ally is a bad idea, but in this case, keeping Sound-Byte Dan around is a good idea. Tyler’s a major jury threat, so he needs to go at some point for Carolyn’s game to succeed, and while I would normally say it’s still a little early, when it’s between him and Sound-Byte Dan, you keep Sound-Byte Dan. Granted, as a viewer I’m not HAPPY with this choice, but to win at the end, you need people you can beat. Carolyn cannot necessarily beat Tyler. She can definitely beat Sound-Byte Dan. No brainer.

For the high stakes it has, Tribal Council is quite the jovial affair, with everyone joking around, and no real strategic talk happening. The misdirection remains as good as ever, though. In the end, Carolyn and Sierra make the right choice, siding with Mike to get off Tyler. This endears them to Mike (another option for getting to the final 3), and also eliminates a jury threat in the game. Good for them. I’d say that going to the end with Mike should not be their FIRST choice, as Mike is also a major jury threat, but you got rid of his idol, and gave yourselves more options. I really have a hard time finding fault with this move.

With that said, as a viewer I’m sorry to see Tyler go. He was a low-key player, and so not the most interesting, but he wasn’t an awful person (like so many people on this season have been), was a pretty decent strategist, and likable enough in his own way. Somewhat to my surprise, I hope he comes back, and he makes a fine addition to the jury.

This episode was not the best ever, due to sagging in the middle, but it started and ended well, with some good strategy and an exciting climax. But let’s face it, the show is overshadowed by the twist for next season!

In case my opening paragraph in which I abused the exclamation mark key didn’t make it clear, I am THRILLED that the fans get to choose the cast of an All-Stars type of season. We love to speculate about these things, and we’re the ones who keep the show going. It is fitting that, every once in a while, we are thrown a bone and allowed some creative control on the show. I wouldn’t want them to do this often, as even I admit that fans of the show do not always know best, but I’m thrilled to get it here. While I’m not a fan of ballot-box stuffing, I’m going to vote every day, just to do everything to get my favorites on the show. I’m also happy with the limitations set on the show. I always prefer having no winners on an All-Stars season, as it just seems more fair, and I like having people who’ve only been seen once. It gives the underrated players a chance to shine, and helps prevent audience fatigue. I know I ranted in the past about the overuse of returning castaways, but bear in mind, such seasons are exiting, and as we saw with “Survivor Philippines” and “Survivor Blood vs. Water” if the editing and the casting is done right, such seasons can still be excellent seasons. On top of this, while I think we COULD have had a longer break of non-returnee season, after three seasons in a row of entirely original casts, I think they’ve earned an all-returnee cast. After all, the same length of time passed between “Survivor Micronesia” and “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, and no one complained about that. Plus, the people they’ve chosen have great diversity in season range. True, there are more people from the recent seasons than the earliest seasons, but I think it’s a good compromise between catering to old fans and new fans. Enough recent faces there for the newer fans to feel like they have a say, but enough older faces to keep the long-term fans involved. Though really, could you find NO ONE from “Survivor Guatemala” to put on the ballot? Why do you insist on ignoring this season, CBS, it was a good one!

Now with that said, I do have one or two issues with how this is being done. Again, I’m a fan of the twist overall, these are just some nitpicks that I as a “Survivor” fanboy have. First off, the inclusion of Mike and Carolyn from this season as options to vote back in. Bear in mind that winners are not allowed on this season, yet Mike and Carolyn are still in the game, and are arguably the two most likely winners. Putting them on the ballot, therefore, seems like kind of a spoiler, as many people have pointed out. Now, Jeff Probst has answered this, saying that they could still win, and if so, they will be removed from eligibility, votes for them no longer counting. This is all well and good, except that I don’t like the idea that my vote might go to waste. True, I’ve got other people I can vote for if I’m worried about that, but it bothers me that votes can go to someone for whom it may not matter, when there are other deserving people who could have had those slots instead (say, people from “Survivor Guatemala”?). Hell, Tyler was voted off this past episode, put HIM on the ballot, I’d LOVE to vote for him. I get that you want to put exciting characters in the game, and Mike and Carolyn are arguably the two biggest characters to come out of this season, but I would argue that, unless you know the show is wrapping up, you’re going to have more seasons, and can easily put them on such a season. Save your cards, is all I’m saying. My other major complaint is that CBS makes you vote for a full roster of 10 people of each gender, before allowing you to submit your votes. While I stand behind my claim that they’ve got a pretty good variety of people to vote for, I have a hard time saying I WANT to vote for 10 people. There’s about 8 on each side that I like, but I’m mostly neutral about the rest, and furious about a few (Stephanie from “Survivor Redemption Island”? Brad Culpepper from “Survivor Blood vs. Water”? This is REALLY the best you can do?). I don’t mind giving my votes to some of the neutral choices I prefer, but I don’t see why I should have to vote for all 10. I could see CAPPING a person at voting for 10 people, but I feel like, if I only want to vote for 8 people per roster, I should be allowed to only vote for 8 people per roster. I probably shouldn’t be too mad at this, but it just seems like a pointless restriction.

One other thing that I can’t really say I have a problem with, as it’s logical as to why they did this, but that bothers me, is the set choices we have in voting for people. As I’ve said, I think the crew did a really good job getting a wide variety of choices for this “Second Chances” season, but I kind of wish fans had been allowed to suggest who they wanted put in the 32 choices before being allowed to vote for those choices. I get why they didn’t do it: with contestants numbering in the hundreds, even with the aforementioned restrictions, write-in votes would not be efficient. Plus, there’s the availability factor to work with. Still, I wish there was a way to write in votes. I get why they’re not doing it, and like I said, I don’t have a real problem with the variety (other than dissing “Survivor Guatemala”), just a bit of wishful thinking on my part.

Speaking of wishful thinking, this season hasn’t had enough lists, and this new twist has got me more excited than pretty much anything else this season. Therefore it’s time for…

TOP FIVE AND… TOP 5?

Yes, the return of the old feature. As you might expect from my fangasm, coupled with wishing for write-in ballots, I’m going to be listing the top five previous contestants I wish we were able to vote for. It seems kind of mean and redundant to list the bottom five people (as it’s either awful people I never want to see again, and don’t need to talk about, or people on the ballots who I wish weren’t, and I plan to have a separate list for them once the reveal of the cast comes at the finale), so instead, I’ll be doing two top 5 lists, one for each gender. I’ll be holding myself to the standards of the other contestants, meaning no winners and nobody who’s already been back. With the parameters set, let’s dive in with:

TOP 5 MEN!

5. Hayden Moss (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”): I’m a bit remiss to put Hayden on this list, as for the most part, he was just a “generic good guy” on his season. However, I personally still remember him fondly, particularly as he had a few (ignored) strategic nuggets. Basically, I feel that he was just starting to blossom it a really good character, almost reminiscent of Malcolm Freberg (“Survivor Philippines”). Given that the mission statement of this “Second Chances” season is “People just shy of doing well”, I feel Hayden fits that bill, and really ought to have been a choice for this season. Certainly I’d rather see him again than Joe from this season, who IS on the ballot.

4. Ian Rosenberger (“Survivor Palau”): I’m aware that “Survivor Palau” is often an overrepresented season, but we’ve had three of the big four characters back from it (Stephenie LaGrossa, Bobby Jon Drinkard, and Tom Westman), so why not complete the circle? While I was never the biggest fan of Ian, he was popular in his day, so why not appeal to the fans by making that choice. Plus, the kid wasn’t bad strategically, just stuck on something of an anti-strategy season, and with too much guilt to make the moves necessary to win. With those guilt factors removed, I’d be intrigued to see how he’d do.
3. Judd Sergeant (“Survivor Guatemala”): I am bound and determined to get “Survivor Guatemala” the respect it deserves! Judd is certainly one of the more underrated characters of this season, and I really wish he was a choice. Though not always pleasant to watch, Judd caused a lot of waves on this season, and actually had an ok strategy. And even speaking as someone who much prefers a logical, strategic game to one focussed on big personalities, even I admit you need some of said big personalities to bust things up. Judd fits this bill quite well, and I wish he was an option.

2. Marty Piombo (“Survivor Nicaragua”): A lot of people dismiss “Survivor Nicaragua” as a season due to the number of unpleasant elements it had (specifically Na’Onka Mixon and “Purple Kelly” Shinn), but they ignore the good elements the season had. Marty is one of those elements. Almost a precursor to Tony Vlachos’ run on “Survivor Cagayan”, Marty brought a combination of strategy and a willingness to try anything to get ahead. Remember his “Chessmaster” lie to Fabio? Priceless! Stupid, perhaps, but priceless. I feel like he could have learned from his mistakes in the interim, and would actually make a really great strategic player if brought back. This, plus the entertainment value, is what we’re missing out on by not having Marty as an option in the vote.

Ken Hoang (“Survivor Gabon”): Another underrated player from an underrated season. Seeing Ken blossom as a strategist was a joy to watch, and made for a lot of unpredictable votes. Both qualities I would LOVE to see on ANY season of “Survivor”. I think Ken could do really well, and I still really don’t understand why he’s never been considered to be brought back.

Honorable Mention: Rafe Judkins (“Survivor Guatemala”): My personal choice for who I would bring back from “Survivor Guatemala”, Rafe does not make the list proper not because I don’t want him but because I suspect he would be unavailiable, but to his current work on ABC’s “Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD” (an excellent televison show, by the way). As such, he’s not really a viable choice, but I wish he was! A good combination of entertainment value and strategy, Rafe’s quirky yet awkward charm made him the stand-out player of the season, and I doubt that entertainment would diminish if he was brought back. Plus, he might actually get to carry out his strategic plans this time.

TOP 5 WOMEN!

5. Kourtney Moon (“Survivor One World”): “Survivor One World” is one of those seasons I prefer not to think about too much (Kim Spradlin’s awesomeness means I don’t want to forget it entirely), but if people must get another chance from this season, I think Kourtney is deserving. She was an ok character, in the time we saw her, but didn’t bring much, which is part of why she’s so low on the list. However, being a medieval on the first day, never really getting to play the game, I think is a raw deal, and so I really want her to get a chance to play the game properly. Now, due to her medieval and first boot status, I feel there are other themed “returning contestants” seasons that she would also be suited for, which is part of why I’m not too cut up at her absence, and why I let her be so low on the list, at least in part. Still, I am a Kourtney fan, and wouldn’t mind giving her my vote in this poll.

4. Kelly Goldsmith (“Survivor Africa”): While I applaud the inclusion of Teresa “T-Bird” Cooper from this season in the poll, and while I’m voting for her all the way, I feel like Kelly might have been a slightly better choice. She had more strategy and a caustic wit that would make her an entertaining watch, and while we can’t have Lex van den Berghe (“Survivor Africa”) as an option due to his appearance on “Survivor All-Stars”, I’m sure Kelly would find another entertaining scapegoat, and we could all enjoy her reign of rage.

3. Lydia Morales (“Survivor Guatemala”): I hear that a lot of people weren’t a fan of Lydia on her season, kind of seeing her as Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) lite, but I liked her. She was an older contestant with an upbeat attitude, and actually a fairly sly player. You don’t see the former qualities a lot, and as Lydia represents them well, I’d like to see her come back. Plus, you know, another contestant for me to push “Survivor Guatemala” back to the forefront of everyone’s minds.

2. Helen Glover (“Survivor Thailand”): Even though I don’t like “Survivor Thailand” nearly as much as I like “Survivor Guatemala”, Helen I feel is similar to Lydia: a person not a lot of people liked, but whom I admired. Another tough older lady (notice a pattern here?), Helen could cut it with the best of them, and it would be cool to see if she had developed strategically in the intervening years. On top of that, I’d like to see “Survivor Thailand” get a little bit more representation, so I wish I could vote for Helen.

Deena Bennett (“Survivor The Amazon”): Basically a Helen that people liked a lot more, Deena was SLIGHTLY more personable, had a lot more wit, and was actually pretty good strategically. True, she got blindsided by Rob Cesternino on her season, but that doesn’t mean she was bad. Put her on a season that doesn’t have Rob on it, and I think she could be a stand-out player with a great chance to win it all!

Honorable Mention: Kim Powers (“Survivor Africa”): Kim doesn’t make the list proper partly because I want the list proper to only have one person per season, and partly because I’ve heard she doesn’t want to do it again. Nevertheless, Kim was a cute, endearing contestant that was a lot tougher than the usual “hot chick in bikini” that “Survivor” casts. If we have to have one, I kind of wish it had been Kim. Plus, again a long time since we’ve seen her, so it’d be cool to see how she adapts to the new game.

So there you have it: a great twist that I can’t wait to exploit the hell out of! Oh, and a decent episode, I guess.

-Matt
Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 6: Kontrolling Khaos

Yes, yes, I am well aware that both “Controlling” and “Chaos” are not spelled with a “K”. It was clever alliteration, given the central focus of this episode, as well as an homage to old 90’s cartoons, where everything cool was spelled with a “K”. Or, I should say, everything “Kewl” was spelled with a “K”. But I’m not here for a history lesson, I’m here to talk about “Survivor”, and as there’s a LOT to get to this episode, I should waste no more time, even though by simply mentioning it I am dragging out even longer, thereby denying my few readers what they came here for. Let this madness stop now, only to start right back up with the start of the episode.

For once, we have a fairly positive after-tribal experience, where everyone talks about how good Tribal Council went, and how the six of them are really truly united. Somewhat surprisingly, it’s Sarah, the person who has the LEAST reason to stick with the new Aparri, who brings up this line of thinking. Guess she must really want to be with them. She also prophetically brings up the “What if there’s a merge tomorrow?” possibility. There’s always one.

Dawn breaks, and we get what SHOULD be another reaffirming conversation on the new Aparri. Kass and Sarah have gone out to collect firewood it seems, but also to size up the tribe. Kass says that she’s most worried about two people flipping: Jeremiah and Sarah. Um, Kass, I agree that Sarah’s not as trustworthy as some (Kass’ point about one vote to save your skin meaning nothing was very poignant), but has it occurred to you that YOUR TALKING TO SARAH? It might therefore be prudent to maybe NOT show distrust to the person you’re talking to? The person you’re supposedly ALLIGNED with? Just a few friendly suggestions. I’m not letting Sarah off that easy, though. My criticism of her gameplay will come a bit later, but I will say on a personal level, I find her attitude towards her integrity overdramatic. Oh dear, someone accused you of being untrustworthy on “Survivor”, who would have guessed? I’m not saying it’s nice to hear those things, and I’m not saying she doesn’t have a point about Kass’ attitude towards her, but she acts like questioning her integrity is the worst thing anyone can do to her. Sarah, you’ve come on “Survivor”, your integrity is GOING to be questioned at some point. Things between the pair seem to be smoothed over with a handshake, but something tells me we haven’t seen the last of this conflict this episode. That something is called “I’m writing this blog after the episode has aired, so I already know what will come back this episode and what won’t.”

Solana is much more copasetic, simply partying until tree mail arrives telling them to pack their things, there’s a merge coming. A similar tree mail arrives at Aparri, though this one warns that company is coming. Spencer gives it his all to unify the six, which seems to work. Before long, the new Solana shows up at camp via what is called a “rowboat”, despite the obvious motor noises. They bring supplies, food, and nice new black buffs. There is also a note, explaining that a new cookie with “special powers” is in play, though what these special powers are is not specified, at least to the cast. The audience has known about them for a while. Basically, this cookie reverts back to how it originally worked on “Survivor Exile Island”, and “Survivor Cook Islands”, where it can be played after the votes have been read. We get stock phrases from people about how badly they want to find the cookie, and how it will change the game for them, blah, blah, blah. There are a lot better interviews to get to tonight, so I’ll skip over an in-depth analysis of people’s desires for the cookie for now.

I will, however, take this time to express my opinion on this particular hyped twist for the season, colloquially called the “Tyler Perry Idol”. Yes, I know they’re “cookies” this season, but as “Tyler Perry Idol” is a proper noun, it will be referred to as such. I’m fairly divided on the introduction of this new cookie. On the one hand, I think it’s an unexpected twist that will hopefully give rise to new strategies, and does, in a sense, fit in with the “Survivor” mythos. One could even argue, given that the cookie from Luzon never got used, that this is just a mutated form of that cookie. On the other, there’s a REASON that cookie usage was changed as of “Survivor Fiji”: it was far too powerful. It was basically a free ride to the finale for whoever found it, as everyone was too afraid to ever vote for the person holding it. Admittedly, this incarnation of it is probably not as bad, for the sole reason that it’s not on Exile Island this time. Until “Survivor Gabon” only alpha males got regularly sent to Exile Island, and so were the ones who found the cookies. This time, things are more even, but it still seems broken to me. As it didn’t really come into play this episode, I will reserve judgment on the wisdom of this twist until we see if people can overcome this cookie. I think it’s possible but we’ll see.

The new tribe is quickly agreed to be named Solarrion, a name which I cannot stand. If I haven’t said this before now, let me be clear that I HATE it when people just merge the names of the original tribes to form a new name (in this case SOLana, apARRI, and luzON). Look, the tribe names are given for a REASON, they usually mean something in the language of the region. In this particular case, I believe they refer to specific regions and cities in the Philippines. It does NOT make sense to mash them together. Also, could you be a BIT creative? I like to see what people come up with. No, this will NOT merit a “Top 5 and Bottom 5”, as while the name Solarrion is stupid, there are worse portmanteau names to be had. Don’t worry, though, there is a “Top 5 and Bottom 5” coming, you’ll get your extra long merge blog.

As they picnic, the new (shudder) Solarrion tribe sizes each other up. Jefra comments on her disappointment that Alexis was voted out, as she could have been swayed to join with the new Solana 5. Jefra, you do remember Jeremiah, right? That guy you considered flipping with? That guy you were close to? That guy who might flip back again if only you’d ask? No, we’re just not going to talk to him, and throw all our eggs in the “Sarah” basket? Ok, it’s your torch snuffing.

Tony, for once, is actually making sense, propositioning Sarah with the prospect of joining back up with him, adding Trish and Woo to the mix to make a solid foursome. Sarah says she’ll consider it, but when Tony asks her to swear on her badge, she refuses, as she’s still uncertain. This clearly shows how many scruples the pair have. Tony has absolutely no qualms about the whole “badge” thing, while Sarah takes it really seriously. Oh, and Sarah? This is a TERRIBLE way to play both sides of the fence. It’s bad enough you don’t stop bragging about it all through the episode, but in order for that strategy to work, you need to NOT waffle on what side you’re picking. That’s what got Dolly Neely (“Survivor Vanuatu”) voted out. I know the badge thing is important to you, but again, this is “Survivor”. Learn to play it a bit better.

Speaking of playing things wrongly, Sarah’s next move is to go chat with Kass and Jeremiah about what the whole side is going to do for Tribal Council. Sarah is adamant that either LJ or Tony, being the physical threats, have to go, but Kass and Jeremiah think that Trish and Jefra are the more appropriate targets, due to no one suspecting them, and therefore it is unlikely that either will be given the cookie at Tribal Council. Sarah counters that neither is a threat in challenges, are strategically useless, and they can be gotten rid of at any time. To bolster her argument, she swears up and down that Tony at least does not have an cookie, and she suspects LJ doesn’t either. This actually surprises me a little, as I would have thought Tony would have told Sarah about the cookie as incentive to flip. And if he didn’t, Sarah, how do you know he has no cookie? Did he tell you? Yes, and you can surely trust the guy who’d say anything to get you on his side to tell you the truth. Admittedly, Sarah’s main point is that they ought to go for Woo, which Kass and Jeremiah readily agree to, but they make the good point that Woo could win immunity. I’m sure this in NO WAY means that Woo will win immunity this challenge, no sir!

Oddly, JEREMIAH of all people is the one who questions this assertion, rightly guessing that since he doesn’t have the cookie, and Jefra and Morgan didn’t have the drive to look for it, LJ probably found it. As to where my strategic sympathies lie, I have to admit, I side with Kass and Jeremiah on this one. At this point in the game, for the new Aparri alliance, the one major factor that could ruin everything is the playing of an cookie. Kass and Jeremiah are right when they say that Jefra and Trish are the least likely people to get cookies. Also, as to Sarah’s “They can be got at any time.” argument, it is true. You say that about them at this Tribal council. And the next. And the next. And before you know it, that person who you could “Get out any time” is sitting in one of the top spots. It continually boggles me that people don’t start seeing the “Under the Radar” players as strategic threats come the merge, they’re really dangerous. What Sarah fails to realize is that there is more to the game than just eliminating the physical threats.

Even if I DID agree with Sarah’s choice of targets, I certainly wouldn’t agree with her attitude. I’ll admit that being the swing vote gives you a lot of power, and that it does entitle you to a certain amount of decision making power, but it does NOT give you the right to dictate the targets at Tribal, especially when you frame it as “I will not vote for persons X, Y, and Z.” That makes you seem untrustworthy to certain people in your alliance. Kass, for example. Incidentally, while my sympathies were with Sarah in the last conversation, due to the fact that Kass WAS basically saying that she personally could not trust Sarah, I fail to see how Kass was being a bully in this situation. It seemed like Kass was just trying to have a good strategic conversation, and Sarah got whiney and adamant when it didn’t go her way. Again, you have more control that others, Sarah, but at a certain point, you just have to go with the majority.

Speaking of Kass, the pair have a minor verbal altercation in front of the fire, overheard by Trish, who comments that it may be useful in breaking up the new Aparri Six. More on that later. In the meantime, Tasha is called in to moderate the rift between Kass and Sarah. Both state their side of the argument. Tasha tries to be impartial, but admits that she’s a little nicer towards Sarah, as it’s more important that she be kept happy. However, this inadvertently alienates Kass, who reads between the lines, and thinks that Sarah has replaced her in the hierarchy, which from what I have seen is not true. Kass complains that Sarah should not receive special treatment just because she’s the swing vote, but here I have to disagree with her. She needs to be kept happy (not to the degree that Sarah THINKS she should be kept happy, but kept happy nonetheless), and so you need to pander a little bit.

I suppose this is the time I should talk about Kass’ overall gameplay, as I think this episode, and this scene in particular, brought out both the good and the bad in Kass. I’ll get into what I thought of her move this episode after I summarize it, but her overall gameplay can be summed up here. I still like Kass and root for her. I think she has a lot going for her that people don’t give respect to. She’s a middle-aged woman (at this point), not particularly physically strong, on the losing side of the first vote, yet despite setbacks and lashings, mostly from Spencer, she’s kept going, and has shown to be a mental threat. One thing I really admire about Kass is that she makes very logical decisions most of the time. Apart from her decision to oust Garrett over J’Tia in the first episode, every decision she’s made has been well thought-out, and done for good strategic reasons. Where Kass’ gameplay falls short is that she’s a very literal, up-front person. She’s almost Vulcan-Like in her manner. When she says things like how Sarah may not be trustworthy to Sarah, she doesn’t mean them maliciously, she’s just explaining her strategic viewpoint. Unfortunately, Kass seems unable to turn it off, and so ends up saying things that offend others, or else put them on their guard, when it really shouldn’t. The other problem with this is that Kass expects others to do the same. Therefore, she can’t pick up on the subtext of Tasha’s mediating, and takes Tasha’s decision at face value. The hypocrisy here is that this upsets Kass, when she seems to think it shouldn’t upset others, but as these things go, it’s not that bad of a hypocrisy. Bad for the game, maybe, but not bad personally. Still, this limits Kass’ gameplay, and hopefully she’ll have learned from it next time she comes back. And trust me, she will come back after what happened this episode. Anyone who names themselves “Chaos Kass” and earns it basically guarantees themselves a spot in the “Survivor Hall of Infamy”.

Now we’re on to the first immunity challenge of the merge, the big one, the one that sets the tone for the whole… Yeah, it’s a reused challenge, and I’m not happy. Hailing from “Survivor Caramoan”, the point of this challenge is to stand over a triangular prism on increasingly small wooden slats, until you end up balancing on a beam at the top, last one standing wins. Look, I’m all for endurance challenges, but this one is unremarkable, particularly given how it ends, and I’m just not a fan of reusing challenges. If there is one good thing to be gleaned from this, it’s that we get to look at the new individual immunity idol. It’s not the best thing to come out of this season production-design-wise, but it looks pretty awesome, and fits in well enough.

Woo wins! Who would have guessed?

Back at the camp, we get what would normally be a dispersal of dramatic tension right off the bat. Sarah admits that after her waffling, she’s sticking with the new Aparri, because they’re weaker. Ok, I’m a casual fan of Sarah, but even I am appalled at how short-sighted and simplistic her gameplay is. Sarah, there is more to this game than physical strength. Still, she reaffirms this bond with the new Aparri, though not before pulling a Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”), and forcing everyone to vote for Tony, despite EVERYONE ELSE saying that Jefra is the better move. First J’Tia’s “Brandon Hantz” (“Survivor South Pacific”) tantrum, and now this? When did THESE GUYS become the paragons of strategy? Still, I can’t fault her strategy. While there are a few united fronts in the new Aparri, the new Solana is a strong 5. Going with them is suicide for the sixth. As I said, normally this would defuse the pre-Tribal tension, but I’m ok for three reasons: First, they kept it going all before the immunity challenge, which was just about when that story got old. It made the pre-challenge scenes exciting, and didn’t stay overlong. Second, it gave us the hilarious scene where she admitted to Tony that she was siding with the new Aparri (not in so many words, but even Tony can see the message), thus making Tony squirm with the shock of someone not obeying his every command. And thirdly, there is something else there to create new tension.

That something is Kass. In a brilliant move, Trish gets over her hatred of anyone not from Boston, and deigns to talk to Kass, casually asking her who she would like to vote out, regardless of tribal lines. Kass, still miffed at Sarah, gives Sarah’s name, and says she’ll consider voting with Trish and the gang. Trish runs to tell Tony, who swears he will use his idol anyway, just to be safe, which is probably a good move on his part.

What starts out as a fairly natural Tribal quickly becomes one of the most explosive gambit pile-ups ever seen! Going in, it looks like the targets are going to be Tony and Sarah, and Kass’ smart comment about how Tony and LJ ought to be scared as physical guys post-merge ought to be. But then it turns out that Tony will pull a Malcolm Freeberg (“Survivor Philippines”), and pull out his cookie. He smartly decides NOT to say who he’s playing it on, thus creating chaos amongst the new Aparri. But THEN it turns out they had a contingency plan for this, all agreeing to go for the “other guy”, while the new Solana says they’ll go for the “same guy”. So Probst has them vote. But THEN it turns out that Tony wasn’t playing his cookie on himself, but on LJ. But THEN it turns out that LJ also has an cookie, wants to share, and he’s reciprocating by playing his cookie on Tony. But THEN it turns out that the new Aparri wasn’t going for LJ at all, but Jefra. But THEN it turns out that Trish’s strategizing worked after all, and Kass flipped to vote off Sarah. But THEN it turns out that Probst was never really Jeff Probst at all, but really Old Man Smithers, that creepy janitor in the background of the early episode, DISGUISED as Jeff Probst so as to steal the CBS fortune!

Ok, perhaps that last part was actually an episode of “Scooby-Doo”, but it wouldn’t have surprised me. I’m usually not one to buy the hype whenever someone describes an upcoming Tribal Council as “shocking”, but this one takes the cake for me. It almost totally lives up to the hype. I say “almost” because once Jefra’s name came up, I knew Sarah was going. It’d been built up, and there’s no WAY someone this late in the game would be voted out with that little screentime. Still, before that the misdirection was phenomenal! This season just keeps topping itself, one great episode after another. While I would rather Jefra have gone over Sarah, I’m not too sorry to see her go. Given how she was hyped, this performance was just disappointing. Sarah’s strategy was basic at best, and I found her really annoying this episode.

Now, does this coupled with the fact that I am still a fan of Kass, and am pulling for her all the way, mean that I think Kass’ move was a good move? ABOSLUTELY NOT! This was a HORRIBLE move for Kass, and I’m very ashamed that she made it. Like I said, going with the Solana 5 is SUICIDE given how tight they are, and it pisses off pretty much everybody on the jury. You’ve moved from a spot where you were almost GUARANTEED the Final 3, to a place where you’re 6^th at best. This is clearly a detriment. I can’t believe Kass really felt she’d been replaced that easily, and I also don’t get why Tasha or somebody didn’t go up to Kass in private and reaffirm an alliance. I guess they felt they didn’t need to, and it makes me all the more ashamed that the person I root for was so easily mislead. Now, I could KIND OF understand the move if it looked like Sarah had all the power, and that Kass’ idea of voting off Jefra was ignored. But the thing was, THEY WENT WITH THE PLAN ANYWAY! AND BOTH IDOLS WERE PLAYED! HAD YOU STUCK WITH THE TEAM, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN IN AN ENVIABLE POSITION! The only POSSIBLE logic I can see in this is if Kass didn’t understand who the “other guy” was, but even that’s a flimsy excuse. Some would argue, I’m sure, that if Kass wanted a chance at actually winning, she had to get rid of Spencer and Tasha at some point, as their games are more up front and likeable than hers, to which I say that I agree, but do that later, when the new Solana is more fragmented, and you can sweep up a few stragglers.

The one good thing to come out of this move is more wit from Kass. Spencer makes a comment about how Kass can no longer win the game, and I’m proud to say that she doesn’t cave to this, and instead responds ‘That’s a long way away.” implying that she’s going to keep trying her hardest to win despite the odds. Given how similar these comments are to Jim Rice’s (“Survivor South Pacific”) after Cochran’s flip, I’m proud that she weathered them well, and like her response. May she’s better even than I am, and can pull out something that’ll get her to win. Still, my hopes are not high, and so I begin counting the seasons to another “All-Star” one, where after tonight, Kass will most CERTAINLY be invited back, hopefully wiser.

Oh, and since I’m sure that many people will bring up Cochran’s flip on “Survivor South Pacific” for comparison and evidence that Kass’ flip was a bad idea, let me just say this now: YES, Kass’ flip was a bad idea, but NO, the comparison to Cochran’s flip is not there, and YES, I still maintain that Cochran’s flip was entirely justified. The difference here is that on “Survivor South Pacific”, Cochran’s ENTIRE TRIBE admitted they neither liked him, nor trusted him. Cochran had nowhere to go, his chances were equally as good, if not better, with the Upolu who PROBABLY wouldn’t let him near the finals, versus the Savaii, who DEFINITELY wouldn’t let him near the finals! How is this different from Kass’ situation, you may ask? Well, whereas Cochran had FIVE people against him, Kass only had ONE person against her, whatever she may have perceived, as well as a solid threesome with herself, Tasha, and Spencer. I like Kass, but I really can’t justify this one.

Still, this season has been dry of:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

So let’s have another one, shall we? The topic of this one is Tribal Councils, meaning the event and not the place this time, as I think this one merits a spot. Three points of note here: I’ll just be listing the season of a tribal council, and describing which one I mean, as giving the episode number is, I feel, not helpful enough. Secondly, first and final Tribal Councils are out, but anything else is fair game. Finally, as my bottom five would just be unmemorable tribal councils if I played this straight, the bottom five will be devoted to crazy tribal councils I didn’t enjoy. With that said, let’s get down to business… uh oh… urge to quote rising… can’t… control… TO DEFEAT! THE HUNS!

 

TOP 5

5. “Survivor Gabon”: Now, one of the things I love about “Survivor Gabon” is that it had a lot of GREAT Tribal Councils, so it’s hard for me to pick just one that I love. However, if forced to choose, I would have to go with the last Tribal Council before the merge, the one where Marcus was voted out. Ken Hoang is one of my favorite contestants of all time (bring him back, CBS), his only flaw being cockiness, but to be fair, he EARNED his cockiness with this Tribal Council. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was stacked against Ken, yet he somehow managed to turn it around and remove one of the power players of the game. It gets put this low only because while this one was personally exciting, I’m not sure how well it generalizes to other people. Plus, there are a LOT of good Tribal Councils coming up, like this next one, for instance.

4. “Survivor Palau”: You all know where I’m going with this. The last Tribal Council of the season that was not the final one certainly wins points for being unique. Due to an overlong final immunity challenge, Tribal Council was held right then and there at the challenge. Not a particularly exciting one, as we all knew that Ian was getting voted out, and for very schmaltzy reasons, but it was a new event, and fun to watch for it.

3. “Survivor Caramoan”: Like “Survivor Gabon”, this season has a lot of great Tribal to choose from. I’m probably taking the obvious choice here, but the Tribal where Malcolm busted out two hidden immunity cookies to save himself and his ally Eddie really takes the, um, cookie. Watching everyone scramble around right in front of the minority alliance was fascinating to watch, just a lot of fun in general, and led to a lot of smart commenting, Erik’s noting that showing the idol does not mean playing the idol being a stroke of genius. Above all, I’m happy with the outcome, that being the exit of Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard.

2. “Survivor Cagayan”: Yes, even a really recent Tribal Council can rank this high. Like I said, this one had gambit on top of gambit, and while I’m not as satisfied with the outcome as I am with the one from “Survivor Caramoan”, this one just had too many crazy strategies and unexpected moves to get anything lower than two. But what could beat it.

1. “Survivor Micronesia”: This Tribal Council is one of the reasons “Survivor Micronesia” is my favorite season. Nobody but nobody expected Erik to give up immunity. Just when you thought the stupidity was over for the season, this was the coup de gras. I remember my jaw just hanging open for a good five minutes after it happened, something that, while the most recent Tribal Council made an admirable effort, cannot be topped. It’s just too crazy.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor All-Stars”: Not many of you may have seen this one, but there’s a deleted scene from the first episode of the season where the Chapera Tribe pretends to be Saboga attending the first Tribal Council. It headlines Rob Cesternino (“Survivor The Amazon”) as Jeff Probst, and it is simply HILARIOUS! I can’t put it on the list proper because it isn’t a “real” tribal council, per se, but it still deserves mentioning. If you find it on Youtube, give it a watch. It’s short, entertaining, and well worth your time.

 

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Borneo”: Ah yes, the first real “twist” Tribal Council the show ever had. Taking place right after the merge, crew, fan, and generally every-with-a-heart favorite Gretchen Cordy was voted out, leading to tears from several. Well, if it was so moving and memorable, why the bottom of the list? Actually, I didn’t find this Tribal Council all that memorable for either good or bad, but many remember it as the day the game changed, and that deserves some credit. Given that, even with me, those memories tend to be somewhat negative, as Gretchen was voted out for purely strategic reasons, when everyone agrees she should have won above anyone, this has to go on the bottom of the list, though really more for others than for myself.

4. “Survivor South Pacific”: In a parallel to tonight’s Tribal Council, we get to once again mention the infamous Tribal Council where Cochran flipped. While I admit I respected the move more on this one than I did for tonight’s, the fallout from both is what determined where they fell on the list. And while Cochran’s move was crazy and exciting, the amount of ire he earned from his fellow castaways just made it unpleasant to watch, and still makes me feel a little sick just thinking about it. Good move or not, Cochran did NOT earn that tongue lashing he got from Savaii afterward.

3. “Survivor Samoa”: This is the Tribal Council where Foa Foa took control, the one where Russell played an idol so that the Kelly that no one remembers was voted out. While a surprise to all (due to Shambo’s flip, and the surprise idol play), and certainly exciting and pivotal in the game, I don’t like this one. While surprising, it was not as exciting due to sort of being engineered (i.e. from an idol play rather than strategizing with others), and frankly, I supported Galu, so it was a shame to see them crumble like that.

2. “Survivor One World”: If there’s any move more stupid than giving up immunity… No, wait, there’s NOTHING more stupid than giving up immunity, and giving it up at the tribal phase is PARTICULARLY stupid. I’ve talked a lot about why this move and this council stink, so I’ll just keep it short and sweet here. I really don’t like this Tribal Council, and it would be number one but for the technicality that Bill’s exit was not exactly “memorable”. Not so for our number one spot though.

1. “Survivor Nicaragua”: Yes, it takes two people in good game positions quitting for virtually no reason to make an awful Tribal Council. While I stand behind my opinion that “Survivor Nicaragua” had several good features that were often overlooked, I have to admit, this REALLY drags it down. It just felt wrong, had all the fans who would have loved to have played screaming in agony, it was just unpleasant. And the sad thing is, it was so unpleasant it became memorable, and will probably never leave, to my great regret.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Pearl Islands”: Another season with many memorable Tribal Councils, but this is the first quit, specifically Osten’s quit right before the merge. Again, like the one from “Survivor Nicaragua”, it’s just painful to remember a quit. It gets an honorable mention basically because it was first, and that made it fascinating and slightly endearing in some ways. Still, a quit is a quit. It’s not fun, and needs to be acknowledged as such.

Well, that’s about it. Here’s to hoping Kass can pull off a miracle.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cagayan” Episode 1: Hidden Immunity Cookie

Goddamnit, I want to like the Luzon Tribe, I really do.  But I swear to God, if I hear the phrase “I think I’m the smartest person out here.” one more time, I’m going to smack all of them with my nice new Enil Edam Buff.

Yes, it’s time once again for “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to, and apparently the place where every one of my hopes for smart people lasting in this game goes to die.  But I’m getting ahead of myself, we haven’t even busted out the vehicle porn yet!  And here it is now, trundling across the swamp in a beaten-up truck, twisting down a majestic river, and soaring above the clouds in a far too cocky manner.  Three vehicles in one intro, I do believe that’s a record.  Probst himself narrates from the top of a mountain (a pretty odd place to begin narration, but it looks cool), and gives us an over the top statement about how “Survivor” is the ultimate social experiment.  Um, Probst, have you ever heard of Miller’s Learning Experiment, or the Stanford Prison Experiment?  I love “Survivor”, but right off the top of my head, both of those are better than yours.  Still, apart from that it’s a pretty standard opening bit, highlighting the people the producers want us to focus on with each tribe.  Spencer, David, and Kass get the highlight for Luzon, Sarah, Tony, and Cliff for Aparri, and Morgan, Jeremiah, and Jefra for Solana.  And no, I’m calling the tribes by their actual names.  I refuse to call them “Brains, Brawn, and Beauty” tribes because it sounds stupid.  Only “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” could get away with really lame tribe names because it fit the corniness of the show.  This just goes way beyond corniness into outright parody.  As long as I’m in charge of this blog (and there is no blog without me, so there you go), they will be Luzon, Aparri, and Solana.

But enough with the details, let’s talk about the arrival quips.  You know, the standard bits where the tribes make somewhat funny remarks about the arrival of the other tribes.  Aparri comes in first, and seems to be pretty happy to be there.  Solana is brought in soon after, with Lindsey quipping that there should be some sort of over-the-top music for their arrival.  I, for one, am ashamed that the sound designers on this show did not take their cue and provide said music.  Instead, we move on to the arrival of Luzon, the members of whom Jefra describes as being similar to John Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”).  I still give Jefra few odds in this game, but she has at least earned a few brownie points on this blog by paying homage to Cochran.

After an excruciating bit where Probst asks the tribes to figure out whether they’re Brains, Brawns, or Beauty (like you didn’t purposefully group them so that it would be easier to figure it out), we are then treated to what I can assume is the full quantity of twists for the pre-merge.  Evidently the producers want to get all their twist-happiness out of the way, and keep things simple for the rest of the tribal phase, which is all right with me.  The twists from the season are actually taken from three previous consecutive seasons: “Survivor Gabon”, “Survivor Tocantins”, and “Survivor Samoa”.  Taking from the “Survivor Samoa” leg first, the tribes are called upon to each decide upon a leader.  Solana goes first, and unsurprisingly picks LJ, on the grounds that he’s the only member who really seems like he knows what he’s doing.  Aparri gives us our surprise, as they go for Sarah on the grounds that she’s “The best talker”.  An interesting strategy, going for what your tribe is likely to be weak in above all else.  You’d think that Luzon might look past superficial appearances, but apparently David can’t hide being a leader of men, and his suit jacket (excuse me, DRESS jacket, since it doesn’t match his pants.  Seriously, man, it was kind of funny, but who cares?) gets him elected, Kass electing to make a quip about it.  Moving on to “Survivor Tocantins” Probst then asks the leader to select one person on each tribe to leave immediately.  LJ once again makes a fairly obvious decision, and chooses Morgan as looking the physically weakest, and Sarah follows in a similar vein, picking the oldest woman, Trish.  Our only surprise is David, who elects Garrett to go.  While it is hard for me to judge LJ and Sarah’s decisions, I will say that I can see nothing bad about them on the surface.  They are, at least, justifiable to everyone else, so that maybe you can deflect some of the bad blood.  David, on the other hand, I think made a MAJOR error.  Yes, it’s true, Garrett will be a threat down the line, but at least in the short term, your tribe needs a good balance of strength and intelligence, and frankly, you’re lacking on strength.  Frankly, the guy who’s abs one could easily substitute for a cheese grater, I would want to keep happy for a while.  Still, it’s David’s decision, and there IS an easy way out of this.  All David has to do is point out that the likelihood of Probst actually allowing three people to be voted off this early, with barely any gameplay, is absurd, and that therefore there must be some big twist right around the corner.  Who, if not Garrett, looks likely to be able to handle anything that Probst can throw at them?  Instead, David chooses to make himself an even bigger target by pointing out that he’s thinking about the latter 2/3 of the game.  Um, David, I applaud your determination, but to actually make it to the last 2/3 of the game, YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH THE FIRST 1/3!  He’s way overthinking the game right now, and as I’ll get into more deeply later, I think that’s the problem with the whole Luzon Tribe.

Shock of all shocks, the “Survivor Tocantins” twist comes into play again, as instead the three early boots get a helicopter ride straight to camp (everyone else has to walk), and we’re told that these three will make a decision “That will greatly impact the tribe”.  At least there’s some variation that comes from combining the other two season twists in there, because otherwise this is starting out just like “Survivor Tocantins”.

Speaking of other season twists, we get our final starting twist from “Survivor Gabon”.  Specifically, we get the Exile Island twist for that season, wherein the person sent off alone can choose either to look for the idol, or get food (in this case for the tribe).  One could argue that this also follows “Survivor Tocantins”, wherein the people sent ahead to camp were told to look for the idol or help build shelter.  I would point out, however, that that was not a zero-sum game.  Theoretically, one could both look for the idol and start shelter, whereas here it’s a straight up choice, albeit one that I think is a no-brainer.  You look for the idol in every case.  Clearly you’ve got reason to worry, an idol is a big advantage early in the game, and the tribe doesn’t need to know you were selfish.  All you have to do is make sure they don’t see the note detailing the twist, and tell them the big decision was that you were given the option to either selfishly switch tribes (leaving them one man down) but saving yourself, or stay on the tribe that rejected you and leave things even.  That would have been believable.  We’ll see if these people are smart enough to realize that this is the best option.

Garrett gets dropped off first, and he wastes no time in reminding us that he’s a “professional, high-stakes poker player.”  God, I hate his type.  Still, he does get in some good humor, jokingly crossing out the “help your tribe” option on the note with his finger.  He opens the clue, and finds that it pretty much says “The idol is under the waterfall”.  They really have run out of poetry ideas, haven’t they?  Garrett finds if after a token effort, and swears to use it to get revenge on David.  Since this is the first we see of the Hidden Immunity Idol this season, I have to say I’m not a fan of it.  I can see that it’s just another of the faces from the season’s logo when we get a close-up shot of it later, but that’s pretty generic.  From afar, the only way we see it early on, it looks to me like a large chocolate chip cookie on a string.  Granted, I would be disinclined to vote off someone if they were offering me a large chocolate chip cookie on a string, but it somehow doesn’t feel very “idol-ish”, if you get what I’m saying.  And no, even though I can better see what it is now, for the rest of this season, idols will now be called “Hidden Immunity Cookies”.

Trish arrives next, and supporting my theory that for every muscle one develops, one must give up a brain cell, opts for the extra bag of rice.  Since she’s boring in this regard, we’ll move on to Morgan, who’s more than a little upset at being sent out first.  She, like an intelligent person, takes the clue for the Hidden Immunity Cookie, which basically says “It’s in the rocks by the ocean”.  This is all well and good, except that the rock outcropping is pot marked with holes and crannies that are very good for hiding idols, and thus Morgan spends a lot of time on a fruitless search.  Explain to me why the tribe of people that supposedly are the smartest bunch has the poorly hidden idol, while the tribe of people who supposedly survive on looks alone has the idol that is impossible to find?  Seems to me that ought to be scaled the other way.

Morgan spends so much time looking that her tribe arrives at camp before she’s found jack all, as we see in a hilarious panning shot.  Noticing the oncoming “people who can vote you out if you act suspicious”, Morgan abandons her search and comes running up to them.  Frankly, I would still find this suspicious, if I were them, but Morgan seems to integrate ok, playing nice to LJ’s face.  Behind the scenes, she’s still somewhat wary of him, though LJ is also wary of her, citing her as being “hot” while the other girls are “cute”, and apparently cute is less dangerous than hot.  Not sure where that’s coming from, but hey, at least it’s something.  And speaking of hot, Solana starts fire with little trouble, and forms alliances even quicker.  Brice, noticing both that Morgan is kind of on her own due to the opening twist, and that LJ and Jeremiah have formed a pair, as well as Alexis and Jefra, decides to ally himself with Morgan.  Perhaps I was too harsh on Brice earlier, he does seem to have a few strategic gems, and he’s not as annoying as I thought he would be.

Aparri also has no trouble with fire, and is happy to have the extra bag of rice provided by Trish.  What is trouble, however, is Tony, specifically he’s trouble with Sarah.  Sarah, in a surprising display of good reading of people, correctly deduces that Tony is a cop.  Sarah, also being a cop, tries to reach out to him, but Tony fervently denies this, on the grounds that it may make him a threat.  I think Tony’s overreacting to how people perceive cops, but on the other hand, I don’t see any harm in his hiding that part of his life, so long as he doesn’t stupidly reveal it later.  Sarah, for her part, one ups him, pointing out that she can tell that Tony’s lying, and therefore doesn’t trust him.  Still, that subplot is put on hold for the moment.

Tony’s not the only one who wants to hide things, however.  Cliff, the former basketball player, hoped to keep the fact that he was, in fact, a basketball player, quiet.  Unfortunately, he got stuck on a tribe with Woo, who just so happens to be a big fan of his.  Cliff is outed and takes it with good grace, and seems to pull off the situation well, for the moment.

Luzon, meanwhile, arrives to welcome Garrett with open arms.  Unlike the other tribes, which see to fire first thing, Luzon decides to get started on shelter, under the direction of J’Tia, who claims to have the plans for a kick-ass shelter.  Well, the kick-ass-ness of the shelter remains to be seen, we’ll see how well it works when the rains come next episode, but what one can see plainly from the get-go is that J’Tia is not a good leader.  She seems to very rarely put actual work in on the shelter, preferring instead to micromanage everyone else, and while she isn’t the most bossy and blunt person ever put on the show, her manner of directing people is not as polite as it could be.  Everyone seems to be thinking that she’s getting on their nerves, but the only people to formalize it are the alliance of Kass and David.  We’ll come back to them in a minute.

CHALLENGE TIME!  And for the first time in a long time, I actually really like the opening challenge of a season!  True, it is reminiscent of a few challenges from seasons past, but it has a few unique elements, it looks really cool, and the tribes ACTUALLY STICK TOGETHER THROUGH MOST OF THE CHALLENGE!  Huzzah!  In this particular challenge, tribes must push a cart along an obstacle course, along the way picking up keys to unlock chests to take with them.  At one point, they must disassemble and reassemble their cart, before making their way to a circular dragon puzzle.  The first two tribes to finish win immunity and reward.  The tribe in first gets a fire-making kit, the second place just a piece of flint.  This challenge is very reminiscent of the first challenge from “Survivor Pearl Islands”, but the puzzle is unique and challenging, and despite the lack of fire, it’s still a very good first challenge.

I’ll also say that I like the design of the immunity idol this season.  It feels very different and appropriate, standing out but not feeling gaudy.  Admittedly, I’m a bit bummed that all we’ve got is a big idol and a slightly smaller version of it, but it still beats “Survivor Philippines”, where we had two copies of one idol.  It doesn’t meet the gold standard of multi-part idols, that being the one from “Survivor All-Stars” where the parts fit together seamlessly to make both a good-looking whole idol, and solid separate idols, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.

People who AREN’T stepping in the right direction are the members of the Luzon Tribe.  Despite holding their own early on, difficulty in untangling the chains, not helped by J’Tia’s yelling at everybody untangling the chains, leads Luzon to fall behind, and be unable to catch up.  Here, I think ego was a bit of the problem.  Luzon, I suspect, felt that the other tribes would crumble on the puzzle, and that therefore they could take their time.  They could not, and although they seemed to make great progress on the puzzle, they just couldn’t come back.  Not too surprising, given that they’re the only tribe that showed much friction before the challenge, but still a fun challenge to watch.

Back at camp, Kass and David are in agreement that J’Tia should go after her performance in the challenge.  David tries to talk Kass into Garrett briefly, as Garrett is far too much of a threat to be left alone, but Kass shoots him down.  Garrett, however, is still on the warpath against David, and matters aren’t helped for David and Kass when Kass, after questioning by J’Tia, tells J’Tia that she’s probably going home, due to her “lack of work ethic”.  No, Kass, J’Tia’s problem isn’t a LACK of work ethic, it’s that the work that she does is incredibly annoying.  Also, Kass, I like you, and you’re a smart player, as you’ll demonstrate later in the episode, so why are you telling someone well before Tribal Council that they’re going?  I know it seems like a done deal, but this gives them time to scramble, possibly putting YOU on the chopping block.

Big surprise, J’Tia scrambles, with herself, Garrett, and Tanya all agreeing to vote out David.  The only question mark is Spencer, who’s concerned that since Garrett has not revealed that he has the idol, David may have it, and therefore J’Tia may be the safe vote.  Garrett admits that he’ll go along with whatever Spencer wants, since Garrett would like to last a while this season.

Tribal Council is GORGEOUS!  It looks like a fusion of the Tribal Councils from “Survivor Marquesas” and “Survivor China”: Large, Pagoda-esque towers with straw roofs.  It’s also a very open-air sort of Tribal Council, which I always enjoy, and almost like the cherry on top, the urn this season is striking.  Yes, I’ll remember this Tribal Council fondly for a long time.

What goes on at Tribal Council is fairly memorable as well.  J’Tia, feeling defensive after Kass’ comments from earlier, starts off the questioning, and admits that she may have been a bit too harsh in terms of building the shelter.  Oddly, when David agrees with her, she gets all defensive, claiming that David is twisting her words.  I didn’t see it, but then I’m not there.  David pretty much states that J’Tia is going home, while Garrett and Spencer give each other significant looks.  Personally, I don’t buy that last bit.  While I can see why Garrett and J’Tia would want David out, J’Tia clearly had much more screen time, and is just the obvious boot.  They even pull a cut to commercial in the middle of Tribal to try and create tension where there isn’t any!  How pathetic can you…

Significant pause.

In case it wasn’t clear, I was duped.  David does, in fact, go home, when I was thoroughly convinced that J’Tia was dead in the water.  Despite my not thinking it’s a good move, I have to give credit for good misdirection.  If that can keep up for the rest of the season, we should have a good one.  Granted, I think that getting rid of David at this stage is a dumb move, but I’ll get into that when I analyze the Luzon Tribe at the end.  Aparri and Solana I’ll analyze soon enough, but Luzon gets saved for the end.

Heading into the second-half of our “Two episodes crammed into one” special, we get to see the OTHER charming aspects to Garrett’s personality.  He’s not just egotistical, no!  He’s egotistical, entitled, and whiny, the most charming combination.  Yes, how better to start off a post-tribal council debriefing than with someone complaining about how they didn’t expect surviving in the wilderness to be hard, and that they deserve better than this.  Garrett, I don’t know what you were thinking, but when you sign up for a show called “Survivor”, it generally means that it’s going to involve an element of survival.  And also, I don’t want to sound bitter about this, but YOU ARE BUILT MORE FINELY THAN THE TAJ MAHAL!  IF ANYONE CAN HANDLE BEING OUT HERE, IT’S YOU!  QUIT WHINING!

Points of interest do still happen at Luzon, though.  For all that I was scared for Kass after Tribal Council, and disappointed in her performance in the first half of the show, she steps it up in the second half.  Feeling insecure about going on in an alliance with Tasha and J’Tia, Garrett and Spencer approach Kass about making a final 3 alliance.  Kass, smartly realizing that rather than be her doom, this Tribal Council has put her in the enviable swing position, does not look a gift horse in the mouth, and agrees, though admits on the side that she’ll go with whomever she thinks the best.  Go Kass!  This is the type of excellent strategy I’ve been expecting out of you!

Sensing that I need a break from the annoyingness that is Garrett, we mercifully move on to Aparri, where we see that Cliff’s overall warm reception has not gone unnoticed, nor made him complacent.  Talking a boat ride with Woo, Cliff offers Woo a partnership, which Woo smartly agrees to.  Troy, on the other hand, is not happy with Cliff’s popularity, seeing Cliff as a threat at the end of the game.  Troy resolves this by building a little extra onto the side of the shelter, so as to provide for himself a bit of cover for when he spies on the others.  Now, this in and of itself is not a bad idea, since he’s being subtle about it, but Troy, this relies on everyone else strategizing in the shelter, and 10-1, that isn’t happening.  We also get a bit from Solana, but not much comes of that other than Brice allying himself with Jeremiah as well as Morgan, and even then, this is only notable because Brice laughably calls himself a “country boy”, when he’s about the least country person I’ve ever seen.  Brice is a lot of things, but country is not one of them.

This is as good a time as any to talk about the breakdown of Solana so far, so I’ll get into it.  Solana seems to be playing a very social game, with everyone pairing off with people they like, but seem to be putting up a front of happiness on the whole.  What surprises me the most is that challenge-wise, they seem to be the most well-rounded tribe, and I think that’s because the idea of beauty has more give-and-take than the ideas of brains and brawn.  The latter two are generally considered polar opposites, and so you very rarely get people who are competent in both.  Beauty, on the other hand, can exist with either or both of these constructs, and so perhaps Solana will do better for their overall well-roundedness.

Before our challenge, we head back to Aparri, where we finally see some friction.  Trish passive-aggressively snipes at Lindsey to do some work, while Lindsey just stands there and retorts that they’re all working.  Trish then goes off and jokes around with Troy about it, the first real crack we’ve seen in Aparri.  Aparri as a whole seems more starkly divided than Solana, with Troy and Trish up against the Cliff-lovers, as Troy deems them.  Aparri as a whole may win challenges a lot in the foreseeable future, as they’ve obviously got physical talent, and Sarah has proved herself more than competent at puzzles, but they’ll crumble at some point, and Troy and Trish seem to be in particular trouble.  Also, while I don’t like Trish’s way of showing it, I think she was right, and Lindsey’s got the wrong attitude.  I particularly found Lindsey’s Trish imitation to be mean-spirited.

Challenge Time again!  As you might have guessed by the lack of all capital letters, I’m not as fond of this challenge.  Still, it’s by no means bad.  The tribes swim out to a cage, untie a series of knots to open the cage, and then drag four heavy fishnets back to shore.  One tribe member then uses puzzle pieces in said fishing nets to solve a fish-based puzzle.  First tribe to finish the puzzle gets immunity and fishing gear, second tribe gets immunity, third tribe gets squat.  While it does steal elements from previous challenges, the puzzle from “Survivor Exile Island” and the cage freeing from “Survivor Caramoan”, there’s no denying that it’s a combination we’ve not often seen, it’s fairly challenging, and the cage portion is exciting to watch.  I give it a pass this time.

Despite Solana falling behind early, Luzon for some insane reason decides to put J’Tia on the puzzle (I would have put Kass, she seemed to be doing a fine job on the puzzle in the previous challenge), and she panics and loses it for Luzon.  No, I’m not making the pun, it’s too obvious.

Before we can get to Luzon, though, we have to handle Aparri.  While the rest of the tribe celebrates, Troy searches the reward for an immunity clue.  He finds one which basically says “It’s under a log in the lake.” Troy finds an idol with minimal effort, good for him.  Maybe he and Trish aren’t as toast as I thought.

With Tribal Council overhead, Garrett, ever the strategist, takes the unique stance of just having everyone sit in the shelter and discuss who’s getting voted out, rather than have everyone scramble.  For all that it’s supposedly a test of loyalty for Kass (who passes), and however sarcastic myself and everyone else on the tribe is about that strategy, I do think it has some merit.  A large part of the problem with Luzon is that they’re very disunited, all looking to stab each other in the back ASAP, and at this early stage of the game, with so few players, you really can’t afford that.  Preventing a blindside will hopefully increase group unity.  True, as Spencer says, it pisses off the person you’re going to vote out that evening (in this case J’Tia), but they’ll be gone anyway, so no harm done.  Yes, it’s not how “Survivor” is “supposed” to be played, but with the way your tribe is going, I’m not sure that should be your main concern right now.

J’Tia takes being told that she’s going surprisingly well, but Tasha does not.  In a bit that comes right out of left field, Tasha gives us a “Colton Cumbie Rant” (“Survivor One World”), about how disappointed she is that there isn’t a ton of strategizing, lying, and backstabbing early on.  Being a huge “Survivor” fan, she claims that this is not what she signed up for.  Dear, I sympathize, I really do, but you have to let it go.  Your tribe can’t afford to be more fragmented than it already is, and strategizing really only works well in large groups.  I know it sucks to be on a season with small tribes, but you just have to make do.  Once again, I oddly think Garrett is right when he says that Tasha is just upset about losing her main ally.

Tasha does get her wish when she and Kass go down to the beach to wash their feet.  Garrett and Spencer come down to check on them, on the pretense of staying together, but Kass says they should be watching J’Tia in case she does something drastic.  At first, I take this as Kass wanting to play both sides of the fence, and needing Garrett and Spencer gone for that, but no, it turns out her fears are founded.  Taking a leaf out of the book of Brandon Hantz (“Survivor South Pacific”.  Man, this tribe is just having a “Moron Strategy Day”), J’Tia just goes and dumps out the tribe’s entire supply of rice.  J’Tia, do I really need to say why this is a bad idea?  It ruins absolutely ANY chance you have of staying, and makes you look like an ass on tv.  Hell, Kass said she was considering voting with you until you did that, and now categorically says she won’t.  THIS IS NOT AN IMPROVEMENT!

Tribal Council is exciting, to say the least.  J’Tia once again admits that she’s going, but then Spencer and Tasha start trashing Garrett for his “stay together” strategy.  Kass seems to be doing ok keeping her mouth shut, but then gets into an argument with Garrett about whether or not she’s in an alliance with him.  Man, these people just cannot get their act together.  There’s a bit of a surprise in the showing of the votes, as we see both Garrett’s and Spencer’s.  This is stupid, because we saw for sure that Kass is voting for J’Tia, so we know for a fact that she’s going.  Unless…

Yes, they got me again.  In an incredibly surprising and stupid move, the tribe ousts Garrett.  I really don’t understand what motivated Kass to do this, other than possibly not trusting Garrett.  Tasha and J’Tia seem more united to me than do Garrett and Spencer, your tribe needs all the strength it can get, and I think Spencer will be more pissed at you for betraying him that Tasha would have been.  For another matter, in voting off Garrett, you keep J’Tia, who has proven herself to be unpleasant, volatile, and virtually useless.  Hell, even Na’Onka Mixon (“Survivor Nicaragua”) had the excuse of being physically fit to keep her around.  I’m happy that Kass now seems to be in the dominant alliance, and is showing some strategy with not being down about being on the wrong side of the first vote, but seriously, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

Ultimately, I think the problem with Luzon is the stereotype that comes with being the “Brains” of “Survivor”.  Using Brawn generally results in short-term gain, and Beauty can be used throughout.  Brains, however, are expected to work through the long game, and I think the tone was set by David’s 2/3 comment early in the episode.  Now, everyone on Luzon believes that they have to play a late game sort of game now, or they’re in trouble.  The problem is that this dooms them in the short game, and it splinters the tribe because everyone is too eager to backstab.  You’ve gotten rid of two of your strongest players physically, kept the most divisive person, and just generally crumbled from within.

Overall, though, I did like the episode.  Painful decisions and somewhat less likeable of a cast than I thought aside, there was a lot of interesting strategy, some good buildup for future plotlines, and I personally was very impressed at how well the misdirection worked this episode.  A solid start to what will hopefully be a good season.  Here’s hoping Kass’ decision will not doom Luzon.  At the very least, while Spencer will be miffed that he’s on the bottom, I don’t think he’s too sorry to see Garrett go.

Despite the length of this blog, however, I’m not yet ready to go, so once again it’s time for:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

I can’t get that Tribal Council Set out of my head, so I’d better talk about them, hadn’t I?  No need for preamble, let’s just find out my favorite Tribal Councils, starting with:

TOP 5:

5. “Survivor Cagayan”: Like I said earlier, this one will be with me for a while.  I like the combination of looks, it stands out, it all ties together, just an all-around good Tribal Council.  That it’s so low is a testament not to anything to do with it, but to the awesomeness of the Tribal Councils above it.  Besides, this one is more a tying together of previous Tribal Councils, not much new, which makes it harder to rank higher.

4. “Survivor Palau”: One of the more distinctive Tribal Councils, I give this one credit for daring to be different and do a modern theme.  Granted, on a show called “Survivor”, that feels a bit out of place, which is why the Tribal Council is so low on the list.  However, the WWII theme was incorporated well, and it deserves praise.  On the other hand, I’m disappointed that Probst did not ever jump up on the antiaircraft gun behind him and say “Fire represents your life in this game… but so does your heartbeat!”

3. “Survivor China”: I think this one wins in terms of sheer size.  Several stories tall, the giant pagoda council stands out in the crowd, and I like it a lot.  Points also need to be given for replicating the look of an actual pagoda, the crew did an excellent job on this one.  The fact that it has a roof means that its denizens never got rained on, which is a minus, but it’s a small price to pay for an outstanding Tribal Council.

2. “Survivor All-Stars”: Many a season with returning players has tried to incorporate elements from all pasts seasons into it, but I think this one hit the mark the best.  The elements were there, but unlike the Tribal Council for “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, they were subtle touches, that made pausing the show and just taking in the Tribal Council a lot more fun.  On top of that, you had a GREAT entrance shot up in the trees, and a very high Tribal Council is a personal enjoyment.

1. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Location is everything when it comes to a Tribal Council.  It’s hard to find a location more dramatic that a cliff by a waterfall in Australia.  Add to that a large open space, and a decent replication of an Aboriginal worshiping ground, and you have yourself a badass Tribal Council.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Guatemala”: Going for authenticism, the “Survivor” team somehow got permission to use actual pyramids for this Tribal Council.  That looked awesome, and the vertical distance nearly put this one on the list.  However, my doubts about my opinion due to my having a soft spot for the season, coupled with limited horizontal distance (not much room to move around), just barely barred this one from the list proper.

 

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Borneo”: I get that this season was trying to go for a stereotypical “castaway” theme, but some of the elements of this Tribal Council went too far.  Pier 1 tiki torches?  Really?  Also, why do you have self-described faux-Mayan columns in an area without Mayans?  Enjoyable in its cheesiness, but this Tribal Council just goes a bit too far for me.

4. “Survivor Caramoan”: This one isn’t bad in and of itself, and to be honest, I’m using it as a placeholder for all “Generic South Pacific Island” Tribal Councils.  I think what really bugs me about his one is that it’s effectively an All-Star season, and a recent one at that!  I should remember this one very well, but it barely comes to mind at all.  For forgetfulness, this one ends up on the “Bottom 5” list.

3. “Survivor Fiji”: I GET IT!  YOU LIKE SKULLS!  THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY HAVE TO GO EVERYWHERE ON YOUR TRIBAL COUNCIL!

2. “Survivor Exile Island”: Size and fakeness do this one in.  A Tribal Council in a cave was a cool idea, but since they wanted some exposure, it was a cave with no roof, which just looked silly in all the establishing shots.  Additionally, while I could see they were trying to capture the “voodoo” theme with this one, like with “Survivor Borneo”, I feel they just went a step too far.  That, plus a small size leads to this one on this list.

1. “Survivor South Pacific”: With every other Tribal Council, even the forgettable “Survivor Caramoan” one, I could at least remember one distinctive element.  Not so with this one.  The worst of the “Generic South Pacific Island” Tribal Councils, there’s no spot this could go on but number one.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Nicaragua”: This was trying to be another “Survivor Palau” I get it.  It is very distinctive.  However, I must put my foot down for too much of an overtly religious tone.  I’m sick of religion in my “Survivor”, and this Tribal Council is making it hard to forget.

 

It is late.  I am tired.  I enjoyed the episode.  Look forward to the next one.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.