“Survivor” What-Ifs?: Marquesas

So yeah, it’s been a while….

To those of you still here, or coming back to read this, thank you.  My promises of a productive off-season have clearly been shot at this point.  In my defense, I’ve had a rough few months at work, and that plus the lack of new “Survivor” news killed a lot of my incentive to use my free time to talk about all things “Survivor” (as a side note, perhaps it’s the restart of season production that has incentivized me to get back on the horse).  But from an outsider’s perspective, I get that doesn’t matter.  I said there would be more off-season content than there has been, and even left a six-month gap or so with no new content.  For that, I’m sorry, and thanks for sticking with me/coming back.  I hope to do better moving forward.  Maybe not weekly content, but hopefully at least one new blog a month up until we start getting solid information/content about the newest seasons.  

Given the gap between blogs, I think a quick refresher of what this one entails is in order.  This is “Survivor What-Ifs?”, a speculative blog where I go back and change one small moment in “Survivor” history.  I then discuss the impact this change would have on the course of all seasons that came after it, dividing my analysis up into three sections: The Impact, where I discuss what specifically I’m changing in the timeline and any changes that happen within the same episode as a result; The Fallout, where I discuss how that change impacts the rest of the season the change occurs in; and The Legacy, where I discuss how this change impacts the seasons that came after.  How much detail each section gets varies depending on where in the timeline said change takes place.  For example, the change we’ll be discussing today takes place near the end of the season, so The Impact and The Fallout will be shorter but have more specifics in them.  Conversely, The Legacy will be longer, but be more of a generalization than the other two sections.  

All this leads into the usual reminder that there will be SPOILERS ahead.  It’s rather difficult to talk about how a timeline differs from our own without referencing our own timeline.  I’ll mainly be discussing the outcome of “Survivor Marquesas” in this blog, but other seasons may be mentioned in The Legacy, so if you want to be safe, maybe don’t read ahead until you’ve seen all seasons from Marquesas on.  With all that business out of the way, let’s go ahead and dive into the change with…

THE IMPACT

Marquesas is an interesting place to shake up the timeline in, as it’s a season with a lot of mixed opinions.  Some find that it’s an underrated gem of a season; others find it decent, but nothing to write home about.  For myself, I kind of fall somewhere in the middle.  From a strategic standpoint, it’s a VERY important season, delivering us the first full alliance-flip, as well as Vecepia’s innovative strategy for the “Fallen Comrades” challenge that got it discontinued from the show.  I fully acknowledge and respect this.  That said, for my money, while important things HAPPEN, on the season, the PEOPLE they happen to by and large aren’t that interesting to watch from a viewership perspective.  Oh, the season has some great characters to be sure.  Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien is a treat, and both Sean Rector and John Carroll are underrated gems who deserve another shot in the game.  But most of the big characters go out pre-merge, in part, I think, due to the losing Maraamu tribe being stacked in terms of characters.  They were definitely the more fun tribe to watch, but their early losses meant most of the big characters went out early, thus leaving us with an inoffensive, but overall not that dynamic, merge cast.  Put another way, I feel like our timeline of Marquesas is what “Survivor Exile Island” would have been like if the La Mina/Casaya wins and losses had been flipped.  There would have been nothing WRONG with La Mina dominating the merge and post game, and interesting strategy would doubtless still occur, but we would have lost most of the fun people to watch along the way.  

Well, now that I’ve talked up how the pre-merge of Marquesas kind of torpedoes a lot of the good of the season, let’s make a change as far away from the pre-merge as possible!  When I say we’re making a change near the end of the season, I mean the VERY end of the season.  We’re going back to most of the way through the finale, at the Final 3 Immunity Challenge.  Those of you who have seen the season will recall the dominance that was and is Kathy.  She was the audience favorite, and also the favorite to win the challenge, having won several immunities and rewards by this point.  Not that Vecepia and Neleh weren’t good competitors, but Kathy was just in another league.  However, as Kathy herself put it, she lost her focus for a second, slipped, and fell out of the challenge.  At that point, Vecepia made the obvious play and made a deal with Neleh to step down, since neither one of them wanted to take Kathy to the end at that point.  Why waste the time, after all?  A perfectly logical and rational decision, but one that eliminates the last exciting person left from a television viewer perspective.  

So, for our change, let’s let Kathy keep her focus.  Let’s let her keep her head in the game, and not make the slip-up which cost her immunity and the game as a whole.  What happens in the timeline where Kathy stays 100% focussed on the challenge at hand 100% of the time?

THE FALLOUT

Kathy wins.  Yeah, shocker, I know.  Real hot take from the guy who’s been gone for six months.  It take you that long to think through that complex scenario, genius?  

But seriously, whether you’re talking about the challenge or the game, Kathy keeping her focus in that final immunity challenge wins her everything.  She was the favorite to win the challenge for a reason, and I’m not one to go against the odds.  Who she takes to the end almost doesn’t matter, since I’m pretty sure she wins either way.  That said, it’s still my duty to make a guess.  I couldn’t find any evidence that Kathy has ever said who she would have taken had she won, but my guess would be that she takes Neleh.  The pair were always on the same tribe from the beginning, Kathy played a big part in Neleh and Paschal flipping on the Rotu 4, and Kathy would have voted out Vecepia at Final 4 had she not won immunity.  True, Kathy did have a deal with Vecepia as a result of that Final 4 challenge, but I don’t see that overriding a 38 day bond with Neleh.  

As I say, the discussion is ultimately kind of pointless, since Kathy wins either way, but I’ll be going forward as though it’s her versus Neleh.  Kathy definitely wins the votes of all the Rotu 4 in this scenario (while Zoe did vote for Neleh in our timeline, I feel like she ultimately got along with Kathy best of all the remaining finalists), and possibly gets more.  Paschal is the only one she definitively loses, as there’s no way Paschal doesn’t vote for Neleh.  Sean and Vecepia are the only ones I have difficulty figuring out.  They’re both probably not happy at Kathy voting them out, but also have no respect for Neleh.  I’m inclined to say they vote for Kathy, since Neleh seemed to annoy them on a more personal level, but they could go either way.  All it changes is Kathy’s margin of victory though, not the victory itself.  

THE LEGACY

In a bit of a reversal, I’m going to talk a bit about the trends this change to the timeline causes to later seasons first, rather than how it changes the makeup of returnee seasons down the line.  Specifically, I’d like to talk about what the absence of Vecepia’s win means to the timeline going forward.  Say what you will about her as a character, but Vecepia was both a good strategist and important for “Survivor” as a whole.  Around this time, you started to get people noticing that POC’s in general, and African-Americans in particular, were not making the final rounds of the show.  They weren’t even making it that close.  Vecepia making the finals here is a big deal, but now that she doesn’t win, the controversy remains.  Recall that during the “Early Show” segments for this seasons, one of the hosts would regularly joke about the need for “Black ‘Survivor’” for African-Americans to have any chance of winning.  Vecepia’s win shut up that sort of talk, but without it, now that talk persists.  This both means that discussions about the success and portrayal of POC’s on the show probably comes up much earlier in the show’s history, possibly even leading to a Cook Islands “Divide the tribes by race” twist earlier in the timeline.  It also means that Earl’s win on “Survivor Fiji” becomes a much bigger deal, as he becomes the first African-American to ever win in the show’s history.  This means that, with Kathy winning Marquesas, Earl definitely gets brought back sooner rather than later.  I suspect he probably comes back for “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” as a Hero, probably taking Tom Westman’s spot.  He sadly still has to miss “Winners at War”, as I doubt his real-life obligations change as a result of this, but he probably gets brought back one more time after Heroes vs. Villains at least.  

Of course, Kathy is a big deal even in our timeline.  She was voted “Most Popular Contestant Ever” around the end of the season in our timeline, which is probably somewhat due to recency bias, but also because Kathy is just a good character.  But if you thought her zeitgeist was big in our timeline, hoo boy, you can imagine how big it is if she wins.  Kathy is beloved, arguably the most beloved winner ever.  She’s probably the only person who rivals Ethan Zohn in terms of popular winners during the single-digit seasons.  There’s probably a lot of ongoing debate, even to this day, of which of them played the better game.  Think “Team Ethan” and “Team Kathy” t-shirts going around.

Kathy herself is also a hot ticket item who comes back more than once.  There’s her appearance on “All-Stars” to be sure, but I’m sure they want her back for other seasons as well.  It’s tempting to say that she’d also be brought back to “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, but I’m not sure about that.  She’d definitely have to be on the Heroes tribe, but I’m not sure who she can replace.  In terms of archetype, she most closely matches Cirie, and production’s not giving up Cirie’s spot to anyone, even in this timeline.  While it’s then tempting to say she takes Candice’s spot, especially given how controversial Candice’s inclusion was to begin with, but recall that production, for whatever reason, likes to give a lot of its spots over to women who look good in a bikini.  Kathy, for all that she is a lovely person with many great qualities, does not fit this mold, and when you’ve already got Cirie on your tribe, that’s 2/5 of the women on your tribe given over to “non-eye candy”, which I just don’t see production doing.  I DO see them getting a lot of flak for not having Kathy on this season, but I don’t see them changing their minds.  

No, given how popular her son Patrick’s appearance on the show was during the family visit, I would guess that she and Patrick get tapped for “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, though if that falls through I could also see Kathy ending up on “Survivor Game Changers”, probably in Sierra’s spot, since that originally belonged to Natalie Anderson, another female winner that Kathy could easily replace in this timeline.  This probably shakes up the tribes of the season, as again, production won’t want Kathy and Cirie on the same tribe initially.  And of course, there’s no way in this timeline Kathy isn’t brought back for “Survivor Winners at War” as a four-peat.  She probably takes over Amber’s spot.  

But, of course, there’s one big returnee season Kathy impacts that I’ve only barely touched on.  Yes, folks, Kathy’s win definitely has an impact on “Survivor All-Stars”.  Now, on the surface, it might seem like a minimal impact.  After all, Kathy was on that season in our timeline, and her winning doesn’t seem like that would preclude her from appearing again.  It’s not in Kathy’s nature to say “no”.  Yeah, maybe Kathy has a bigger target as a result of winning now, but would it really change the season that much?  

Yes, dear reader.  Yes it would.  Maybe not from a player standpoint, but from a production standpoint.  I don’t think the All-Stars we have in our timeline would be the All-Stars we have in this timeline.  But that is a complicated change.  One that, I think, merits its own write-up.  So, join me in what’s hopefully only a couple weeks this time when we look at “Survivor What-Ifs: All-Stars”!  

In the meantime, though, thank you once again for joining me on this little thought experiment, and sticking with me after a long, unplanned hiatus!  The next blog topic may be reserved, but blogs down the line aren’t.  If there’s a “What If?” scenario you want to read about, I would be happy to write it up if it looks interesting!  Feel free to submit your ideas in the comments below, or anywhere else I’ve linked this blog!  You will be credited if your idea gets used.  Since it’s been a while, a reminder of the ground rules for any idea to be considered for the blog:  

1. One Change Only: This can’t be a whole bunch of things or multiple things going another way to alter the course of a season.  This must be one singular event that alters the season in some way.  Cascade effects, where one change naturally leads to another, are ok, but they have to be natural and logical.  As an example, Shii-Ann not flipping and Chuay Gahn losing the final 10 immunity challenge on “Survivor Thailand” would definitely change things, but those are two independent changes that need to happen, and therefore not appropriate for this blog.  I should also mention that the change has to be an EVENT, not a play style.  Yes, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” probably goes much differently if Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) isn’t an asshole to everyone, but apart from that never happening, it’s a change in overall play style, not a single moment.  It’s also, as I say, implausible, which leads to my next ground rule…

2. The Change Must Be Realistic: An unlikely change is ok, but it has to be something that COULD have happened, or it’s not worth writing about.  Yes, Fang winning the first immunity challenge on “Survivor Gabon” would drastically change the season.  Would it ever happen?  No.  So there’s no point in writing about it.  

3. The Change Must Have An Impact: By this, I mean the change has to actually alter the season in some significant way.  Simply changing up the boot order is not enough.  Someone new has to win, the perception of the season has to change, or both.  As an example, I originally planned to do a blog on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, with a timeline where Candice didn’t flip at the final 9.  I thought this could lead to a Heroes victory.  Then I remembered that Russell Hantz plays his idol in that same episode, meaning the flip most likely doesn’t matter, and apart from a slight boot order change, the season as a whole remains untouched.  Uninteresting, and therefore not worth talking about.  

In addition to these hard-and-fast rules, there are two what I call “Flexible Rules”.  As the name would imply, these rules can be bent with a compelling arguments, but they are two things that should be borne in mind when suggesting new situations to examine:

4. US Seasons Only: This is nothing against international seasons of “Survivor”.  From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, they can be quite good.  The trouble is, as a citizen on the US, the US version of “Survivor” is the one I’m most familiar with, know the most about, and have seen the most of.  I haven’t even seen a full international season of “Survivor”, just the occasional clip.  Nothing knocking them, of course.  I just haven’t gotten around to viewing them.  So, while I won’t outright ban the suggesting of changes from non-US seasons of “Survivor”, bear in mind that I’m unlikely to pick them due to a lack of knowledge and lack of time to catch up on the seasons.  

5. I Will Not Do Brandon Flipping At The Africa Final 9: A flip by Brandon Quinton at the Final 9 of “Survivor Africa”, voting out Lex instead of Kelly, would indeed fit all the criteria mentioned above.  I’m refusing this particular scenario, not because it isn’t interesting or worth talking about, but because it was already covered by Mario Lanza in his book “When it Was Worth Playing For”.  He covered it so well and so thoroughly that I don’t think I would have anything to add.  I’m willing to consider this scenario if someone can give me a compelling reason that Mario is wrong, or there’s some aspect he didn’t consider, but until that time, this scenario is out.  Other “Survivor Africa” scenarios are ok, though.

Again, I cannot thank you all enough for sticking with this blog through an annoyingly long hiatus, and I look forward to your feedback and thoughts in the future!  

-Matt

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Cambodia” Episode 4: You’re A Firework

Going into this new episode of “Survivor”, the big question on most people’s minds is “Will Angkor lose horribly?” The answer, however, is not as obvious as one might think. Then again, for a tribe with Jeff Varner on it, few things are obvious.

Speaking of Jeff, he brings us back into tonight’s episode. After his outburst after the previous immunity challenge, Jeff knows he narrowly dodged a bullet at the last Tribal Council. He attempts to make amends by swearing up and down that he’s loyal and Angkor strong and all of those sweet nothings you whisper in that situation. Give Jeff credit: if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s making total B.S. sound completely sincere. The tribe seems to buy it, but in confessional, Jeff says what everyone watching knew he was thinking: that he hates these people, wants nothing to do with them, and would rather see them out to further his own game. True, he did vote with the majority at this past Tribal Council, but bear in mind, that puts only Woo in the minority, and on a tribe this desperate for challenge wins, Woo is a much more valuable commodity than Jeff. The man needs a miracle.

Or else he needs to be on a tribe with Abi-Maria. Which, of course, he is. The drama, such as it is, starts when Tasha pulls Woo aside to talk, apologizing for the blindside and trying to get the pair to move forward with the group. Actually, not a bad strategy. Apart from helping keep the physical strength of your tribe happy, it gains you an easily manipulated ally. Don’t get me wrong, I quite like Woo. He’s a charming, goofy kid, and a lot of fun to watch. Facing the facts, though, Woo is not exactly a great player of “Survivor”. The kid can be let along by pretty much anyone with a brain. He’s kind of like Rupert from “Survivor Pearl Islands” in that way. I would never call either of them a good player of “Survivor”, but they seem like really nice people, and are a TON of fun to watch.

Sorry, sorry, got off-track with my Rupert-fanboying there. He’ll be the next Kass before you know it. The drama I was hinting towards come, to no one’s surprise, from Abi-Maria. She’s annoyed that her alliance-mates are talking with the person who just cast a vote her way. Admittedly, I have a lot more sympathy for Abi-Maria in this case, partly because she actually manages not to go as overboard or melodramatic as she has at past betrayals (see, she IS learning), but mainly because she’s actually somewhat justified in this case. Your supposed allies talking to the person perceived as your sworn enemy is grounds for mistrust and frustration. Note, however, that I say that she’s only SOMEWHAT justified. While being mistrustful of your allies is one thing, staying loyal only as long as they only talk to certain people is just an unrealistic expectation of the game. Plus, since I think 75% of the cast is Abi-Maria’s sworn enemy, that doesn’t give people a whole lot of wiggle-room.

What’s this? A tribe OTHER than Angkor actually has something interesting to say, strategy-wise? Surely you jest! But no, in fact, things are on the move at Bayon. Specifically, those things are Jeremy and Stephen. After the required interview in which Jeremy gushes about his new hidden immunity idol, Jeremy chats with Stephen by the water well, doing a very convincing job of acting like the idol hasn’t been found yet. Certainly Stephen laps it up hook, line, and sinker, and both sprint off in separate directions, searching the trees. Have to admit, this is a pretty slick move by Jeremy. It simultaneously hides his idol, while also building team unity that makes it less likely that he’ll have to use it. Jeremy admits in confessional that, contrary to the will of Savage, Jeremy quite likes Stephen, in a J.T. sort of way. In fact, Jeremy would like to be the NEW J.T. for Stephen, complete with Stephen getting so harangued at the Final Tribal Council that Jeremy wins in a landslide. Not a bad plan, and I think Jeremy’s got the skill to pull it off, but I see a couple of problems here. The first is that, despite what the editing of this season seems to indicate, Stephen is not a moron. Do you really think he’d make the same mistakes as last time? And second, Jeremy, make sure you’re channeling “Survivor Tocantins” J.T., and not “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” J.T. The former is considered one of the best winners of all time, the latter is considered to have made one of the dumbest moves of all time.

But enough about that, I want to know if camp life at Angkor still sucks? It does! Great! Moving on.

And so we come to today’s reward challenge, for a varying amount of barbecue supplies. One tribe member will race out into the water to collect a sandbag, then bring it back to shore, using a plank and fulcrum, said tribe member will then attempt to launch said bag onto a net above. The first two tribes to get three bags on the net win. An interesting thing to me about this challenge is that, as has been widely publicized, this season is reusing challenges from past seasons. In an effort to fit in with the “Second Chances” theme, the crew has been particularly using challenges played by past contestants who got on this season. The trouble with this plan is that “Survivor” challenges are elaborate, meaning the early ones need to be constructed well before the season begins, and in this case before the season was even cast, due to the short time span between the cast reveal and the start of filming. This means that the producers had to guess who would make it on, and pick challenges accordingly. This particular challenge hails from “Survivor Africa”, the season of the regrettably-not-picked Teresa “T-Bird” Cooper. This says to me that the producers thought T-Bird was going to make it (a sentiment I share), but got blindsided by the viewing audience. Or, since the immunity challenge does not hail from a season ANYONE in the potential contestant pool was on, perhaps I’m just coming up with conspiracy theories.

Another interesting thing you may have noted about this challenge is that, despite being a tribal challenge, only one person plays. This is something new that “Survivor” is trying out, a so-called “Hero Challenge”, where only one person competes. An interesting concept, and on the whole, I’m for it. It makes for a big change, some nice drama with the “Hero or Goat” role, and frankly, it’s not all that different from a lot of team challenges. After all, a lot of times the outcome of a challenge DOES rest on one person. The only part that gives me pause is that the tribal challenges are generally grander in scale than individual challenges, generally making them more exciting than individual challenges. Basically, what we have here is sacrificing a tribal challenge for an individual challenge. That’s ok in moderation, but I fear losing too many tribal challenges. Still, a pretty good twist. To add some more wild conspiracy theories to the mix, I think this challenge might have been thrown in to give Angkor a fair fight. The producers must have realized that the conditions at Angkor weakened the tribe as a whole, and that in group challenges, where your weakest links are the factor, they’d lose. While the camp conditions hardly make a fair fight, putting up the strongest from each tribe eliminates the weak-link problem, making the challenge SLIGHTLY fairer.

Every tribe makes a logical choice here. Angkor puts up Savage, Bayon Jeremy, and Ta Keo Terry. About the only choice I have any doubts about is Terry. Not so much because Terry is bad, since he does have that whole “5 Immunity Challenge” streak thing under his belt, but because you’ve got St. Joe on your tribe, who’s good at everything. I mean, Terry’s good, but by his own admission, he’s not as young as he used to be. Why not put St. Joe, who’s in his prime, up there? Can’t knock the choice overall, though. Terry is hardly a BAD choice, just maybe not the optimal one.

Perhaps Ta Keo didn’t put St. Joe up to make everything a fair fight. Out of the gate, pretty much everyone’s even in terms of the running. Savage is a bit behind, as one would expect, due to life at Angkor sucking like a Hoover, but he still keeps running fairly well. Heck, he even comes back. It quickly becomes clear that what will decide this challenge is not strength, but how well one can remember the proper plank configuration and power in order to get their bag in the net. Here’s where Savage really shines. He’s definitely more cerebral than Terry, and arguably more cerebral than Jeremy. Of the three, I’d argue that he’s the most well-rounded, and he shows this when, after taking three tries to net his first bag, he nails the next two in one shot, winning first place for Angkor. I will give Savage his due: the man is a BEAST in hopeless situations. If you ever need someone to pull you out from the bottom, Savage is your man. And the editors know it, and they milk every minute of it. Go back, listen to the music during the challenge, and tell me that they don’t give Savage the dramatic hero music, and make him look like the biggest badass the world has ever seen. Bit of hyperbole, but the man really deserves it in this situation. Good on you, Savage! Oh, and Terry manages to take second place after leading most of the challenge, so that’s good, I guess.

Since Angkor is still most likely going back to Tribal Council, this makes they by far the most interesting tribe, let’s cut back to them and see what they’re doing after the challenge. Ah, I see they’re enjoying their well-earned spoils and bragging about how much better off they are. Deservedly so, but not very interesting. Is anything happening at Bayon? No? All right, Ta Keo, there must be something interesting happening at Ta Keo. And there is. Character development.

Yes, it is time once again to talk about Kass. STOP! ACTUALLY READ THIS PARAGRAPH! I know I’m a Kass fan who’s gushed on and on about her little scenes that don’t really matter, but I think I’m justified this time, since she IS the center of what happens at Ta Keo this episode. We once again get a confessional with Kass talking about how she has to change up her game from her last stint, since she says that those who don’t learn from their mistakes cannot win this game. See also, Hantz, Russell (“Survivor Samoa”). But Kass is absolutely right, in my opinion. Luck is a part of “Survivor”, but very rarely is it ENTIRELY luck that someone gets voted out, though it does happen (see the fate of Michelle Yi on “Survivor Fiji” for an example). Therefore, if you don’t want the same outcome as last time, you need to change up your game. Hell, this season proves that point. Everyone voted out so far has, in some form, repeated the mistakes of the past. Vytas was too obviously threatening, Shirin played too hard too fast (even though this wasn’t what got her voted out, everyone from that season says that’s how she was, so I count it), and Peih-Gee couldn’t resist fighting with her tribe mates. You need to change up your game if you want to win, and you didn’t the last time. Even if you DID win, you should probably change up your game, since people can see it coming.

But getting back to Kass. Kass’ weakness last time, by her own admission, was not playing a social game. To that end, she very publicly read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” preseason, and has taken advice from it. Sincere gestures are a part of that, and to that end, she’s taking the tribe supplies and making a bracelet for someone on the tribe. All this while talking about how everyone perceived her as untrustworthy going in, and an obvious first boot. Chaos Kass wouldn’t be doing this. Oh, and you can see how desperate they are to use the “Chaos Kass” hashtag when they bring it up in a context where it really isn’t that relevant.

Oh, but what was that about people having a preconceived notion of Kass? Well, Kelley happens to be one of those people. Kass has been doing her work before the tribe awakes, but not too much before. Kelley happens to wake up, and sees Kass doing her work. This sends Kelley, in confessional, on a rant about how untrustworthy Kass is, and how she’s clearly making a fake idol. Admittedly, not an unreasonable conclusion, given how similar the activities are. Things get worse when Kelley walks up to Kass on the beach while she’s working, only for Kass to shoo her away, thus reinforcing the “fake idol” theory. Things are looking bad for Kass. Even when she TRIES to be nice, it still comes off as manipulative. But who was Kass making that bracelet for? Why, Kelley, of course! It’s a late birthday present. Kelley gushes over the thing way more than I would expect, and admits she thought Kass had been making a fake idol. Not sure Kass is in the clear on this one, though. While she’s giving it her all to not make the same mistakes as last time, the fact that people jump to that conclusion is a problem, and we never see Kelley definitively say that she’s forgiven Kass, or is no longer suspicious of Kass. To give Kass her due, though, she is trying.

Ah, and with that respite, Bayon actually has some interesting events going on. It’s time for the great debates. The Challenge Beast vs. The Vulcan. Kelly vs. Spencer. Well, I say “debates”, but it’s really one-sided. Jeremy and Stephen, who are all buddy-buddy with Spencer now, ask him what his relationship is with Kelly. Spencer says that she’s in the pockets of Terry, Woo, and Jeff, and not on his side. Spencer expresses remorse at throwing Kelly under the bus (perhaps his attempt to get emotions is working), but I would point out that Spencer is technically telling the truth here, and it’s in his best interests. Kelly has no loyalty to him, and he no loyalty to Kelly, so why bother trying to save her. Spencer may be going a bit overboard with the play, though. He even tries to convince the Bayon water well that Kelly needs to go. Some lady named Monica CLAIMS to be there, and not trust Spencer, but we all know there’s no one named Monica on this season, and CERTAINLY no one who would have been better if replaced with T-Bird.

And now we have our Immunity Challenge. As I stated previously, this one hails from no season that anyone on this season participated in. This is the “Send Blindfolded People out to Retrieve Puzzle Pieces to Make a Cube” challenge. The cube puzzle itself first aired on “Survivor Thailand”, but this particular iteration comes to us from “Survivor All-Stars”. And man, is this a great challenge. It’s got both physical and mental components, and makes for some fun chaos. But the best part is, of course, the falls. I know I really shouldn’t be taking joy in the potential serious injury of others, but it’s like watching one of those goofy physical game shows. You know it’s probably dangerous, but it’s just so mesmerizing, you just can’t look away.

Jeff, Kimmi, and Kass are all selected as the callers, which seem like wise choices at first. However, it quickly becomes apparent that Kass has a problem. Jeff has a huge diaphragm to project from, and Kimmi is just loud in general, but Kass is actually fairly soft-spoken. She’s having a hard time time making herself heard over these two loud people, as evidenced by Terry’s just wandering around lost, and Keith repeating “I can’t hear.” over and over again. By the way, I get that this is supposed to be the new equivalent of Rudy Boesch’s “I don’t know.” bit on “Survivor Borneo”, but no. Just no. It doesn’t work. There can only be one. In Kass’ slight defense, she was in a bit of a spot. You need your most physical players to carry the pieces, but you need your cerebral players, like Kass, to solve the puzzles. Kass needed to be in this challenge, but couldn’t really do the lifting of the piece. Therefore, caller it is, and she’s simply outclassed by the lung capacity of the “Survivor the Australian Outback” players.

Fortunately for Kass, she’s on a tribe with St. Joe, who seems to be able to see through his blindfold. He not only seemingly gets to the pieces by himself, but also brings them back by himself. Why did he not run the “Hero Challenge” again? Guess he was saving his strength, as he puts Ta Keo back in the lead in what is a back-and-forth challenge. I’ll be going into my problem with this challenge in just a minute, but to give it it’s due, it’s quite tense. Not only does the lead shift back and forth throughout the course of the challenge, but we’ve also got some ambiguity over who’s most likely to go to Tribal Council. True, we haven’t heard much from Ta Keo, so they’re probably safe, but both Bayon and Angkor have given us strategy talk. Either one of them could be the winner, and that makes this challenge heart-pounding.

Now for my problem with the challenge: I don’t like the editing When they’ve done this challenge previously, they’ve shown us highlights in a linear fashion. Pretty understandable. It spaces out the action, and this is an easy challenge in terms of showing who’s ahead and who’s behind. Doing montages would just confuse us. But that’s exactly what they do. The montages make the challenge hard to follow, and put nearly all of the “People colliding with other people” action in one spot, which just ruins a lot. Also, the collisions felt a bit lackluster this time around, but due to the injury potential, perhaps that’s for the best.

Oh, and that tension I mentioned? It stays for most of the challenge, but it kind of peters out towards the end. Everybody gets to the puzzle, but Bayon pulls ahead and wins outright. Since we pretty much know Ta Keo doesn’t win the challenge, this seems to make everything straightforward. We get shots of Angkor just being burned out on the puzzle, and you know it’s over. Ta Keo, once again, takes second place, and Angkor, once again, goes to Tribal Council.

After the challenge, there’s no beating around the bush. Jeff is in trouble and he knows it. Fortunately, he also knows that he’s on a tribe with Abi-Maria, who is very emotional, and who is much madder at Woo than she is at him. That could save him. First, though, Woo has an original idea: AN IDEA! Isn’t that great, folks? Let’s give him a big hand! No, Woo starts questioning why the old Ta Keo, who had the advantage on Angkor, is letting Tasha and Savage, the technically minority, run things. This… is actually a good point. I would not have believed it of Woo. It’s true, Tasha and Savage are big threats who are unlikely to take any of you too far, so why not get rid of them and keep yourselves safe? Woo pitches this idea to Abi-Maria, and here’s where we see the flaw in Woo’s otherwise brilliant plan: HE’S the one offering Abi-Maria this deal. Dude, do you not realize your name is mud with Abi-Maria right now? Let Jeff offer her the plan, she’ll listen to him.

True to form, Abi-Maria does not listen to Woo, and goes to tell Tasha and Savage that she just wants Woo gone for his disloyalty. Tasha talks sense to Abi-Maria, pointing out how much bigger of a threat Jeff is, and how he wasn’t really loyal to the tribe. Tasha forgets that she’s talking to Abi-Maria, who doesn’t play with Earth logic. While everyone still seems to be leaning towards Jeff, things are still a bit up in the air as we head to Tribal Council.

And what a Tribal Council it is! We’re only four episodes in, true, but this is definitely in the running for best Tribal Council of the season. This was great! This was entertainment! This was magic to watch!

We start with the true start of Tribal Council: Big Creepy Bug! Seriously, Jeff Varner is giving Jeff Probst a standard sound-byte, when some giant bug from the depths of hell say “No way, Jose!”, and proceeds to fly right into Jeff Varner’s face, as well as at some of the other contestants as a warning shot. This is a hilarious way to open Tribal Council. I know some people might give the contestants here flack for flinching at a harmless bug, but I’m on their side. That bug was huge and in their respective faces! You’d flinch as well, mark my words. Our only standard bit is Jeff Varner talking about a toe injury he received during the previous challenge, but then we get to the highlight of the episode.

As I said, things are still a bit up in the air this Tribal Council, and I don’t mean just for the audience. This tribal uncertainty means that Jeff Varner and Woo have to plead their respective sides. And it is glorious. Not so much in how evenly matched these two wit-masters are (which they aren’t at all), but in just how gloriously Jeff Varner plays it. He comes out swinging, once again professing his loyalty, not just to the tribe, but to each individual sans Woo. But when Woo even TRIES to make a comeback, makes ANY point that’s contrary to Jeff Varner, he gets immediately shot down by Jeff Varner. Woo’s needed to win physical challenges? That makes him a threat. The merge is ages away? Woo can’t guarantee that. Jeff still had that slip up after last episode’s immunity challenge? At least Jeff voted with the majority. If Jeff is going home tonight, it’s a blaze of glory, and that’s why we love him. Jeff made every argument the best way he knew how. Even his fellow tribe mates seem stunned at his passion. I feel a bit bad for Woo, since he’s so outclassed, but I’m just so fascinated by Jeff Varner that I can’t help but love this scene. Definitely in the running for best Tribal Council of the season, and possibly of all-time. And the capper? During the debates, the sticking point with Woo was that he never swore loyalty to Abi-Maria. What does he do before the vote? Swear loyalty.

While I was pretty sure before Tribal Council that Jeff Varner was done for, his performance made me reconsider. Maybe he’s not… DANG IT! You got me again! Sure enough, despite his best efforts, Jeff goes home, which I would say is the smart decision. Well, maybe not for Abi-Maria or Woo, since they’re now solidly out of the majority, and in the case of the former, Jeff was her closest ally. In Abi-Maria’s case, though, she’s likely to be taken along by some other alliance, so it’s of little loss, and as for Woo, since it was either him or Jeff Varner, I can’t call it a terrible move for Woo. For everyone else? Jeff was the one controlling things on Ta Keo, uniting the various factions to suit his needs. Getting rid of him gets rid of a hard-playing strategic threat, and pretty much prevents the old Ta Keo from coming together again. Some smart individuals like Spencer or Kelley might be able to work their way decently far into the game, but the tribe as a whole. At this point, I say done for. Bayon wins.

Surprisingly, I’m not all that sorry to see Jeff go. True, I will miss his gameplay and his snakiness, but it felt like his time. We got what we wanted to get out of Jeff: a lot of funny confessionals and some hard-core gameplay. Would it have been nice to see more of? Maybe, but for what we got, Jeff went out in a blaze of glory, and had a really excellent, if short, run this season. He will be remembered with honor.

As a final note for the episode, I’ll say that I’m annoyed that they didn’t show Tasha’s “Jeff (Not Probst)” vote anywhere but the end credits. Not only would it have been funny as all-get-out, but it’s exactly what I would have written, had I been out there. Great moment I’m sorry didn’t get more recognition.

Can this season do no wrong? We’re four for four so far on great episodes, and I might go so far as to say this one’s the best yet. Yes, even with the Kass ambiguity, the episode had a lot of strategy, humor, and drama. What more could you ask for? Well, how about a…

TOP 10

Now, I’m sure a lot of you are saying “But Matt, you do ‘Top 5 and Bottom5’ lists, not Top 10’s!” Very astute, my readers who I’m talking for. The trouble hear is that I’d like to talk about my top Tribal Councils of all time (in terms of vote-off, not design), and it’s kind of hard to have a “Bottom 5” list for that, since it’d just be 5 Tribal Councils that are completely unmemorable. Basically, all of pre-merge “Survivor Fiji”. So, to make sure you get your content, I’m going to be listing my Top 10 Favorite Tribal Councils, based on what happened at them. My only caveat is that someone actually had to be voted off at this Tribal Council. None of this “Remembering and Evacuee” or quitting stuff. There’s a lot to cover, so let us dive in!

10. “Survivor Pearl Islands” Episode 10: This one lands on the list for very personal reasons. This is the episode where Rupert gets booted, and as mentioned before, I like Rupert. This makes it a hard episode for me to watch, particularly given the look of utter defeat on Rupert’s face as the votes just keep coming, but perhaps that’s why it stands out to me so much. It’s not exactly a happy memory, so it lands low on the list, but it stands out, so it should definitely be on the list.

9. “Survivor China” Episode 7: Another one that many people may think I’m overrating. This is the first episode of a fake idol play in the history of “Survivor”, when Jamie Dugan played the wrong symbol from atop the camp archway in a desperate attempt to save herself. Many will say, quite rightly, that this was a perfectly fine last-ditch move, and that there have been funnier fake idol plays in the show’s history, but this one came first, and it’s always stood out in my mind. I remember laughing so hard when I saw that this was even possible, and Probst just taking it so seriously makes it all the better!

8. “Survivor Borneo” Episode 7: Now, before I start getting hate comments, let me state, for the record, that if this was a list of the most SIGNIFICANT Tribal Councils of all time, Gretchen Cordy’s boot would definitely be #1 on the list. But it’s not that list, but a list of the BEST Tribal Councils, so it doesn’t make the top spot. Still, there’s plenty to like about this Tribal Council. I believe it holds the record for the most people voted for in a single round of voting, and even now it’s hard to see sweet, fan-favorite Gretchen get the axe. Really, the only reason it’s not higher up on the list is that it loses some impact when compared to how modern day “Survivor” is played. Still impactful, though.

7. “Survivor Redemption Island” Episode 3: Ah yes, how could one neglect the boot episode of Russell Hantz? I almost didn’t put this on the list, because the real coup de grace is in the next episode when he actually gets eliminated (thank you, Redemption Island twist), but this moment was still too sweet to leave off. After enduring two full seasons of Russell Hantz, and the start of the third one where we had to see the same aggravating game over and over, it was refreshing to see Russell called out on his poor gameplay, and to get his just desserts.

6. “Survivor Gabon” Episode 7: Another one I may remember more fondly than most people. This is the episode in which the second tribe swap happens, where Randy declares himself “King of Gabon”. I’m not sure I’ve talked about this before, but I’m a big fan of Ken Hoang from this season. He was a more than decent strategist whose only flaw was getting cocky towards the end (which I’m sure NO ONE ELSE has ever done). His personal growth over the season was great to watch, and it’s a testament to how good he was that, on a season where everybody hated everybody, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who didn’t like Ken. And this episode, he comes into his own. Marcus has been running the game pretty much from the get-go, so it was shocking and satisfying to see him get overthrown. This is Ken at his best, and that’s why I love it so much.

5. “Survivor Caramoan” Episode 10: This is the episode where Malcolm manages to get immunity for himself and his comrades, via two immunity idols. There’s something to be said for spectacle, and certainly that spectacle made this a memorable Tribal Council in and of itself. What puts it even higher up for me is that it has more than that. The last minute politicking at Tribal Council makes it all the more intriguing, the blatant calling out of strategies enjoyable, and the exit of Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard the icing on the cake. Just all around, a lot of sweet, Tribal Council goodness.

4. “Survivor Marquesas” Episode 8: If there WERE to be a contender for “Most Significant Tribal Council” other than the Gretchen boot on “Survivor Borneo”, it’d have to be episode 8 of “Survivor Marquesas”. The first ever “Totem Pole” shake-up of the show, this saw Neleh Dennis and Paschal English flip from the old Rotu after getting axed off early in a challenge. This episode changed the course of the game for the better, but even the Tribal Council itself was enjoyable. A great blindside, and a number of good moments. John’s emotional exit speech deserves mention, but the crowning moment is Sean Recotr’s “Chicken and Waffles” vote. That confessional is priceless.

3. “Survivor Exile Island” Episode 6: A lot of people forget about this one, but it’s one of the most emotional Tribal Councils I’ve ever seen. This is the Dan “Fuego” Barry, and no, it’s not surprising. But man, is it touching. Everyone knows Dan is going home, even Dan. Rather than hide it, they use the Tribal Council to showcase everything Dan has done. No, there’s no mystery, but there doesn’t need to be. And all capped off with everyone helping Dan take his torch to Probst in a show of unity. It’s hard to find a Tribal Council more touching than that.

2. “Survivor Cambodia” Episode 4: Yes, a lot of this is probably recency bias, and yes, in a while it’ll probably slide down the list, but that’s how I feel right now. It’s hard to find a Tribal Council more hilarious than this one, but is also has great maneuvering, excellent soundbytes, and the grand fall of a major player. All pretty good stuff, in my mind.

1. “Survivor Micronesia” Episode 13: Yep, the Erik Reichenbach boot. No way this wasn’t going on here. The most improbable event in “Survivor” history, and one not likely to be repeated in terms of surprise. Great confessional clips, a hilarious boot, and an improbable giving up off immunity at a stupid time not only make this the best Tribal Council of all time, but, for this moment alone, largely explains why “Survivor Micronesia” is a lot of people’s favorite season.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 12: The first drawing of rocks since “Survivor Marquesas”. A very dramatic moment that deserves to be remembered. Why is it not on the list proper? Well, this is a bit of a cheat, but it was broadcast a little too loudly that they were going to rocks before the Tribal Council to add any tension to the proceedings. Still, give it what it’s worth, it WAS a memorable moment.

Let’s hope the streak keeps up in the weeks to come!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Philippines” Episode 9: Paddle-Balls to the Wall

“Survivor” Medic!

Seriously, I’m having fainting spells, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last!  I know I’m about to spoil the climax of the episode, but damn if I can’t blog without getting it off of my chest.  I’ve praised the misdirection this season by and large, but tonight I thought I had it figured out.  I was sure, despite my own personal biases, that Penner was gone, dead in the water, Skupin was his best chance, and Skupin wasn’t moving without Lisa.  We get to Tribal Council, the 4^th vote for Penner comes up, and I’m dead certain he’s gone.  There’s no way Skupin and Lisa would move independently, so the only way it swings in Penner’s favor is a 6-3 vote for Artis.  Then the last name comes up, I prepare my “Support Denise” banners, and all of a sudden, Artis comes up!  You can’t see me now, but I have a huge grin in my face.  If only to keep it longer, let us savor the sweet journey that was, in my opinion, the best episode of this season.

We start off with a lot of celebrating/complaining about Jeff Kent’s (damn, I thought I wouldn’t have to write that name again) departure.  Of particular interest is why Penner voted for Abi-Maria instead of forcing a tie.  Fan theory was that Penner had a diabolical scheme up his sleeve, which required splintering an alliance.  My theory was that he had a grudge against Jeff Kent (will he never leave this blog?), and couldn’t stand keeping him in.  The big reveal is that Penner was simply confused, and didn’t know there was a plan (despite his grandstanding at the previous Tribal Council).  Wow, loss of points on the brilliance-ometer there Penner.  Don’t worry, you’ll more than earn them back later in the episode.

Also of interest is Lisa, who took a moral bashing last episode, and previews show that she’ll continue to get one this episode.  She tries to explain herself to everyone, and Tandang seems receptive (though Abi-Maria continues to dig her own grave), but still, Lisa questions her decision.

Following commercial, Christmas comes early as Penner’s foreshadowed work on Lisa begins.  Seeming to have gotten over his case of pissed-off-itis from the night before, Penner admits that he still needs a plan in order to move forward.  His plan is to continue his work on Lisa, but hard core now.  He does this, not by strategizing, but by appealing to her emotions.  Now, some of my more frequent readers know that I normally despise this form of manipulation, feeling that it is overall weaker and less effective (not to mention somewhat less scummy) than outright strategizing.  Penner’s use of it I’m ok with for 2 reasons.  The first is that he ADMITS that it’s a strategy, as it’s the best way to get to Lisa, whereas others who use this I believe go with it on the basis that it feels less scummy than the other method.  The second is that, unlike others who appeal in vague noncommittal terms (or fake a birthday, John Cochran of “Survivor South Pacific”), Penner goes straight for the proverbial jugular, not attacking Lisa’s sense of righteousness, but her insecurities, and her insecurities from EARLY LIFE nonetheless!  What’s more, he does it in the guise of friendly advice, claiming to be the first person who understood her.  All this is sprinkled with hyperbolic praise.  “Unprecedented move”, huh? Yes Penner, as a hard core strategist, you of all people know that a person uniting a disparate group of people to form a voting block has NEVER happened before!  I know I should be appalled at Penner’s display, as most of his words a clearly not genuine, but damn it, I can’t help but be impressed with his read of people, and the overall convincing performance he gave!

Challenge?  Oh, yeah, right, I suppose there was a reward challenge this episode.  Do I really have to?  Can’t I just rhapsodize about Penner some more?

In all seriousness, this challenge does deserve a decent amount of mention, both good and bad.  For it, tribes are split into teams of two, who make their way through a muddy obstacle course one at a time, each collecting a bag of balls.  Once everyone has made it through, teams unwrap their balls (12 in all), and try to get them down a small cone.  The first team to get all 12 balls down the cone wins the right to take school supplies (though they mostly look like sports supplies to me) to a local Filipino school, and earns a feast from that school.  This seems, at first, like your average obstacle course challenge of the type I rag on normally.  However, there are two things that save this challenge from my disgust: mud and rice.  Mud is a fun element of every “Survivor” challenge.  It adds to the spills and the hilarity, it gets the castaways dirty, which is rather entertaining, and it just seems like adding insult to injury, if you’re into schadenfreud.  But mud has been done before, it’s old hat, give us something new.  Ok, how about rice? One leg of the challenge forces the castaways to dive through a trough of rice, which, of course, sticks to them and everything muddy.  Even more than mud, this is insult to injury, and it lends this challenge a unique twist that I rather like.  Top it all off with a good bit of strategy by Penner (which I’ll get to in a minute), and you have a decent, solid challenge.

Though really, does it HAVE to be a team challenge?  Would it kill you to let a free-for-all happen, and force people to make choices about who to bring on reward?

Back to Penner (you’ll find that I do that a lot this blog), he finds himself on a team with Malcolm, Denise, and Carter, going up against Skupin, Lisa, Pete, and Artis, with Abi-Maria not picked (there’s a shock, I’m amazed Probst didn’t lampshade it) and therefore ineligible for reward.  The teams are fairly evenly matched, with Penner’s team having a slight edge in my opinion, but Penner takes no chances.  He loses time on his leg to search around in the mud for all 4 bags and bring them to the surface, thus saving time in the long run.  It’s a good strategy, and helps his team to an admittedly quite narrow victory given the circumstances.

Penner’s team goes on reward, and as always they enjoy the food and hobnobbing with the locals, which at least one person must say is a “life changing experience”.  Malcolm is this year’s winner in that department, at least.  Not one to let a good situation go to waste, however, Penner takes time out to strategize with his fellow reward members, correctly pointing out that they’re on the bottom, and ought to stick together.  The consensus is that Lisa and Skupin are the way to go, and things seem set up for a flip from Lisa.

Oddly enough, Tandang seems to agree with the plan, as they’re doing all that they can to convince Lisa to betray them.  Well, at least Abi-Maria seems to be.  Pete says that he hoped that this would be a bonding time for Tandang, a reaffirmation of their alliance, and return to the fold for those on the outside.  Continually, Pete forgets that he’s aligned with Abi-Maria, who proceeds to badmouth Lisa for her perceived “gullibility”.  Even Artis admits this is a bad idea, and when ARTIS thinks what you’re doing is insane, you know there’s trouble.  What makes it even worse is that Lisa HERSELF, the person most likely to flip, wanted to go along with Pete and co., was perfectly willing to follow along with the plan, and you go and alienate her for no reason!  I’ve run out of metaphors for stupidity at this point, just make one up.

Heading back to camp after commercial, we’re greeted with the return of the effective “Kalabaw 4” from reward, and as you’d expect, they’re greeted…  oh, wait, I guess nothing happened at camp, as it’s CHALLENGE TIME (boy that came fast)!  And the immunity challenge is nothing short of sadistic.  Castaways roll balls down a long paddle, trying to get them into one of 6 notches carved into the paddle.  The first to have all 6 balls sitting on the paddle wins.  Dear Lord, this challenge is difficult.  First of all, it not only requires balance, but also coordination with balance, something very rare, and almost never practiced.  Furthermore, those notches aren’t big, they just barely fit each ball, so while the first ball might not be too bad, it’s downright Herculean to get the other 5 in there without dislodging another ball (as Pete so aptly demonstrated).  It’s like a challenge off of Wii Fit, if Wii Fit had a cruel streak.

In an ironic twist, the man who left the game because of his hands is now kept in the game because of them.  Skupin wins, which would normally be Penner’s death knell, but he’s not one to just roll over and die.  He continues his work on Lisa, taking a slightly different emotional tack this time, one that I’m sure has come up in many a strategy discussion, but has never been shown so blatantly on screen.

Penner asks her how she wants to be perceived in editing.

I’ve always said that these people realize that they’re on a tv show to some degree, no matter how long they stay on, and are, to some degree, thinking about how they’d like to be shown.  I think that, of late, it’s what has led people to avoiding a lot of good strategic moves, as they don’t want to look like scum to the national public.  It also makes sense that the producers don’t want this sort of discussion shown, as it ruins some of the illusion of “reality” on the show, and can blatantly reveal what the editors are trying to do in some cases.  Still, I doubt Penner’s argument is original, but it is a good one.  He tells Lisa that however things turn out, she’ll be perceived as a likeable, loyal underdog, but that the public will dislike her for keeping the “evil” threesome of Artis, Abi-Maria, and Pete in the game.

What’s scary is the man’s ability to predict the public.  That’s pretty much exactly the fan reaction to Lisa.

Meanwhile, the rest of Penner’s alliance (in what I first thought was a conspiracy to turn on him) decided to shift the vote to Artis, as he’s unlikely to play Abi-Maria’s immunity idol.  A bit of unnecessary strategizing, given the confidence of the alliance, but certainly sound reasoning, and any one of the threesome is better than one of the Kalabaw 4.

Penner’s taking no chances, though, and also works the immunity-given Skupin to try and vote off Artis.  Penner works a bit more blatantly, offering Skupin a full-on alliance.  Skupin likes what he hears, but won’t move against Lisa.  So, after some discussion in the water, it’s off to Tribal Council, where Abi-Maria once again digs her own passive-aggressive grave.  And from here on out you know the story.  Like I said, I thought for sure Penner was gone (very glad that he’s not, though), and I even had my “MORONS” megaphone ready to chastise the editors for slipping up on misdirection, when, in fact, it was one of the best bits of misdirection EVER in my opinion.

So, where does this leave us?  With a big question mark, that’s where.  Skupin, despite his interviews, moved against Lisa, and voted with the Kalabaw 4, apparently for good.  This leads to one of two conclusions.  Either Skupin has freed himself of Lisa (which I find unlikely) or Lisa told him to vote against Artis, allowing her to look like a good guy, but still eliminate Artis.  A shrewd move on Lisa’s part, if that’s the case, but not a smart one.  She moves from a solid 5 where she’s guaranteed victory at the end to a not solid 6 where likeability is pretty much even.

Still, this could lead to a short Pagonging of the old Tandang loyalists, which could make the next few episodes boring.  Given the drama that Abi-Maria’s existence causes, though, I kind of doubt it.

What I don’t doubt is that tonight’s episode merited another:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

The theme, as you might guess, is blindsides, and for once, I’m going purely subjective, my own opinions (primarily based on predictability) of what the best blindsides are.  I may do a more objective list at some point, to talk about the blindsides that had the most impact on the game, but that’s not this list.  Also, as there’s no such thing as a “bad” blindside in my objective opinion, I’ll be using it to list the top 5 missed opportunities for blindsides.  One note of clarification on this: the name I list for the bottom 5 is the person who ACTUALLY got voted off, not the person who should have been blindsided.  Now then, on to the list.

Top 5

5. Deena Bennett (“Survivor The Amazon”): Where better to start than with a blindside by the king of blindsides, Rob Cesternino.  While Rob had already perfected this with the boot of the aptly-named Roger Sexton, Deena’s was in my opinion the most unexpected, as well as Rob’s biggest power play.  It gains the lowest slot I can give only because the editing made it seem like it was coming, so a bit of predictability.  Overall, though, an exciting boot for an exciting episode.

4. Artis Silvester (“Survivor Philippines”): So what if it might be the afterglow of Penner’s continued tenure in the game, my list, my choice!  Admittedly, I did put this one down low because I’m not sure how I’ll feel about this blindside compared to others come tomorrow, but at the moment, they pulled the wool over my eyes, made an exciting episode, and earned the #4 slot.

3. John Carroll (“Survivor Marquesas”): It’s not so much that you thought John Carroll would never be voted off.  He was in a leadership position (always precarious), a physical threat, and somewhat cocky.  No, this one you just thought the alliance for it would never come together.  Neleh and Paschal were too far ensconced in the Rotu 4 alliance to dare flip, especially with loose cannon Sean, and yet they did, making for the first “bottom of the totem pole” shake-up in “Survivor” history, and one hell of a blindside.

2. Leann Slaby (“Survivor Vanuatu”): I know I said that overall impact on the game wouldn’t be considered, but this is the exception.  This is the vote that saved Chris’ game and won him a million dollars.  I justify this bending of the rules by pointing out that I did not expect Chris to pull off any sort of a win, given how many women were left, so I’d call it an unexpected and fun blindside.

1. Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”): A fun and deserved blindside.  Never.  I never thought someone would be du enough to give up immunity to a majority alliance.  You proved me wrong, good sir.  Thanks for making the end of the season entertaining!

Honorable Mention: Gretchen Cordy (“Survivor Borneo”): I’ve mentioned before that I watched the seasons out of order, so “Survivor Borneo” was not my first and consequently lost a lot of it’s impact for me.  Still, a lot has to be said for the first real “blindside” of “Survivor”, ever.  You could argue, I suppose, that Stacey or Joel were technically first, but in both cases, you kind of saw it coming.  Gretchen was the first real surprise, and it caused a storm of controversy when it aired.  It must at least be acknowledged, even if it didn’t surprise me.

 

Bottom 5

5. Jenna Lewis (“Survivor Borneo”): Sticking to the land of Borneo, we have our first missed opportunity.  While there was never really a chance to overtake the Tagi alliance from this season, as Pagong was just too disorganized, they did have a shot with their “Barbeque Alliance”.  The Tagi alliance was fragmenting (with Kelly Wiglesworth defecting for a vote), and newly united Pagong front.  That is until Sean Kenniff got moral, voted for Jenna, and in doing so sealed the rest of the Pagong’s fate.

4. Stephenie LaGrossa (“Survivor Palau”): Again, given the amount Tom Westman and Ian Rosenberger won immunity, this was a very slim chance, but deserves mentioning.  The women couldn’t compete on any level with either alpha male, the only way they could WIN in the end was a woman’s alliance.  However, it broke up because, according to Katie “Caryn sucks”.  Mature Katie.  Real mature.  No wonder you lost.

3. Kelly Goldsmith (“Survivor Africa”): Much like Pagong, the Samburu tribe was at a disadvantage, ready to be picked off come the merge.  Unlike Pagong, however, Samburu was much more prepared strategically, and it helped that the old Boran had a few cracks in it.  And while this vote did end up going for a Boran member, it permanently splintered the Samburu, leading to their destruction and a missed opportunity for power.

2. Alicia Calaway (“Survivor The Australian Outback”): While Alicia originally hails from the outback, this goes out her boot in “Survivor All-Stars”.  Once it became clear that a Pagonging of Mogo Mogo would not go smoothly due to Shii-Ann Huang’s winning immunity, people should have ganged up on Boston Rob.  Although he didn’t win, he was the guy to beat, and yet no one made a move to better themselves.  Shii-Ann put it best by calling them “Stupid, stupid people.”

1. Amanda Kimmel (“Survivor China”): This goes for the one time she was actually voted out, in “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”.  DAMMIT, CANDICE, YOU COULD HAVE GOT RID OF RUSSELL FUCKING HANTZ, PUT YOURSELF IN A POWER POSITION, AND YET YOU DIDN’T!  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?

Honorable Mention: Mike Chiesl (“Survivor Redemption Island”): More of a placeholder for any vote post-merge this season.  Ometepe, like on “Survivor All-Stars” just couldn’t bring themselves to vote off their biggest competition, and payed a rightful price.  They’re not on the list proper only because I can’t think of a specific vote that could have changed the game.  For all my criticisms, Boston Rob did keep a good, tight grip on the tribe that season.

Well, that’s it and I’m bushed.  Looking forward to the next episode!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: All-Stars

I’m back, after a week’s hiatus!  I needed it, because let me tell you, this next season is a doozy.  The other seasons have been standard, to the point of appearing formulaic, but this was the first season to turn everything on its head.  It may seem like a bad fanfiction at the outset, but no, it’s really happening.  Favorite castaways are returning to play once again.  This, my friends, is “Survivor All-Stars”.

However, since it’s been a few weeks, I’d like to remind everyone that this review does contain spoilers.  If you wish to avoid spoilers about the season, scroll quily down to the bottom of the page, and read the section entitled “Abstract”, where I give my general opinion on the watchability of the season.  Now, as I haven’t said for a while, on to the review!

CAST

Given that this is the “All-Stars” season, you’d think that the producers would pull the “Best of the Best” from all the season, and come up with a hit cast.  You’d be right, for the most part.  One thing I will give the producers is that they did get a nice variety of castaways for the season.  You had your overall nice, honorable castaways in people like Rudy Boesch (“Survivor Borneo”), Colby Donaldson (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), and Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”).  You had your hard-core schemers in people like Jerri Manthey (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), Lex Van Den Berghe (“Survivor Africa”), and “Boston Rob” Mariano (“Survivor Marquesas”).  Then you had your people who were sort of a mix, such as Alicia Calaway (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), Tina Wesson (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), and Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien.  Nearly all of these people provided memorable moments, making nearly all of them good choices.  You could argue that some of the early boots, like Tina, didn’t get a chance to be memorable, but as I’ll discuss in the “Overall” section, this season was more about honoring the past than glorifying the present, so it was still good to see.  If, however, you were asked to pick the people who defined the season, the only name that can be reasonably put forth is Boston Rob.  Compared to his last performance, which I would describe as only slightly above average, Boston Rob dominated, both physically and mentally, and ran the game from start to finish, woe betide anyone who dare to stop him.  He got annoying to me after a while, but the ay he played the game was impressive, and he wasn’t the worst character I’ve ever seen.  Even if he was, the other cast members help balance things out.  Jenna Lewis should also be noted as coming into her own here, making it much father than her first appearance, and showing some pretty decent strategy.

So, overall, it sounds like I’d have nothing to complain about, and yet I do.  In fact, I have not one, but several things to complain about with regard to the cast.  One I’ll discuss in the “Twist” section, as it has very much to do with the very idea of an “All-Star” season.  For now, however, I’ll go through them one at a time.

First off, the variety of the cast.  Now I said earlier that the producers got a good, vaired cast this season, and I stand by that for the most part.  Even when it came to distributing who was on what tribe, they did ok, except that the Chapera tribe was made up mostly of schemers, or mixed schemers, so there were few people to root for.  No, the real distribution problem has to do with how many people from each season were invited back.  I’ll mention here that this season had 18 castaways for the first time in the show’s history, so with seven seasons, every season should have had 2 people, with a couple of seasons getting 3 or 4, depending on how well-liked the season was.  What happened was that between “Survivor Borneo” and “Survivor The Australian Outback”, nine of the 18 slots were filled.  That just doesn’t sit right with me.  I know the seasons were well liked, but it doesn’t seem fair to have two seasons alone make up half the cast.  The 4 from “Survivor Borneo” I could maybe understand, but “Survivor The Australian Outback” getting 5?  No, no, no!

The second problem this season was screen time.  Up until this point, CBS had done a fair job of giving all castaways equal screen time, or at least what they deserved given their time in the game.  This season, however, gave us the first instance of someone hogging all the screen time.  I refer, of course, to Boston Rob, and while I admit he was the one doing most everything this season, it kind of detracted from the rest of the cast.

My major problem, though, rests with one castaway in particular.  I said that nearly everybody cast this season was spot-on and deserved to return.  NEARLY everybody.  There is one castaway this season, who’s lack of memorability, whose shear blandness makes me want to tear my hair out, and she WON this season.  Yes, I must ask, WHY BRING BACK AMBER BRKICH?  I’d just finished watching “Survivor The Australian Outback” when I saw the season, and I couldn’t recognize her easilly.  She just left me so empty.  In a season full of household names, of great, memorable castaways, THIS is the best person you could find?  No, I refuse to believe this was intentional.  I know Amber was a backup, and was only asked after Colleen Haskell (“Survivor Borneo”), Elizabeth Hasselbeck (“Survivor The Australian Outback”), and Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”), all refused to come back, but still, there were so many alternatives!  In fact, the following is a list I’ve made of people who, while maybe not the biggest characters on their season, would at least have been better than Amber!  Note that, for this list, I’ve imposed a few requirements.  The castaway must be a woman, as they’re replacing a woman, and may not have been booted out earlier than seventh, as this is the earliest the other All Stars were booted on thier seasons, specifically a tie between Boston Rob and Shii Ann Huang of “Survivor Thailand” (who, incidentally, also came into her own on this season.  Now then, the list:

Gretchen Cordy (“Survivor Borneo”)

Kelly Wiglesworth (“Survivor Borneo”)

Kelly Goldsmith (“Survivor Africa”)

Kim Powers (“Survivor Africa”)

Teresa Cooper (“Survivor Africa”)

Tammy Leitner (“Survivor Marquesas”)

Neleh Dennis (“Survivor Marquesas”)

Helen Glover (“Survivor Thailand”)

Deena Bennett (“Survivor The Amazon”)

Christy Smith (“Survivor The Amazon”)

Heidi Stroebel (“Survivor The Amazon”)

Tijuana Bradley (“Survivor Pearl Islands”)

Christa Hastie (“Survivor Pearl Islands”)

Darrah Johnson (“Survivor Pearl Islands”)

Any one of these people would have been an improvement, but you didn’t pick them CBS.  Shame on you.

I wish I could talk about the other major problem with the cast, as it had a large effect on my score, but suffice to say that my low score here will make sense later.  Not a bad cast on the whole, I suppose, just one with a couple of major flaws.

Score: 7 out of 10

CHALLENGES

Like the cast of this season, the challenges were the best reused from previous seasons.  Unilke the cast, however, the challenges hit 100% of the time.  Unlike another season with returning castways, all the challenges were epic, and the coices for which to reuse were good ones.  If challenges were changed, or a new element added, it improved the challenge, making it more difficult, and oftentimes combined an element from another season’s challenge to make the whole thing even more difficult.  About the only new challenge was the “Build the Best Shelter” challenge, and even that, it could be argued, had elements of the “SOS” challenge from previous seasons.  It could be argued that the challenges were unfairly portioned, as some seasons like “Survivor Marquesas” got a lot of reused challenges, whereas “Survivor Pearl Islands” got none.  I’d argue, however, that “Survivor Pearl Islands” also had the challenges that had the most distinctive theme, and so would be harder to reproduce in a more generalized context.  In any case, I don’t care that much, the challenges were just so exciting and appropriate that I can’t give this season’s challenges anything but a perfect score.

Score: 10 out of 10

TWISTS

There’s a lot of twists to get through this season, so let’s not waste any time with fancy introductions.  In the All-Star Season, the first twist you’d naturally see would be the returning castways.  For the most part, this was a good idea.  It gave fans a chance to fangasm, and upped the gameplay to a new level, making it truly time to prove who was “the best of the best”.  Unfortunately, this led to the problem with the cast I alluded to earlier.  You see, in earlier seasons, while people did get understandably upset at being voted off or targeted, they got over it eventually, and didn’t make too big of a fuss.  They knew they were playing a game, and didn’t take anything personally.  They could only do so, though, because the people coming into the game were all strangers, and so it didn’t seem like friendship would enter into the game.  The All-Stars, however, did know each other, in some cases for four years.  This led to people taking the game personally, with a lot of bloody, unpleaseant arguements, the one between Boston Rob and Lex being a particularly difficult example.  And before I get off the subject, yes, Lex, what you did to Ethan Zohn (“Survivor Africa”) is EXACTLY the same as what Boston Rob did to you.  While I admit the All-Star idea was overall very engaging, and had to be done at some point, it was still a somewhat unpleasent affair that made the cast as a whole look bad.  I should say, going along with the All-Star twist was the aforementioned 18 castaway premier, and the first (and up until the upcoming “Survivor Philippines”, only) instance of 3 tribes in one season.  Personally, I liked this.  It created new dynamics, and gave the season a feeling of honoring yet surpassing its predecessors.

Another aspect of this season being All-Star was that even less supplies were given to the castaways.  Now, in the past seasons, what supplies were given had been steadily decreasing, and as these were veterans, the twist was understandable, and had the potential to be good.  Unfortunately, this also meant giving no one fire, and with no one able to make one, most of the first few episodes was the castaways whining with entitlement, which was not fun to watch.  Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”) was later revealed to have smuggled waterproof matches up his ass, but as he never used them, his Mogo Mogo tribe whined as well.  A twist with potential, but not one that went well overall.  If it hadn’t been for a reward, this would have continued.  Along with this reward came the realization that a lockbox with rice was at the tribe’s camp, and winning rewards would give clues to keys that would open the lockbox. A good twist.  It raised the stakes, and gave an air of seriousness to the season.

The next twist was a sad one.  Jenna Morasca (“Survivor The Amazon”) became the second castaway ever to quit the game, due to her mother being ill with cancer.  This turned out to be a good thing, as Jenna’s mother regrettably passed away 8 days later.  A good twist, albeit a somber one.

One twist that did do well came in episode 5.  In addition to fishing gear (the reward for that episode) the tribes played for the right to dismantle the last place tribe, and absorb their members into two remaining tribes.  This was a great way to play.  High stakes, major consequences, and it made sense, not to mention being a uniue way to shuffle the tribes.  The Saboga tribe ultimately lost, but even their dismantling couldn’t deter them.  Their members made it through several tribal councils before being voted off.  This same episode brought the next “Twist” as such, when Richard Hatch rubbed his (naked) body over Sue Hawk (“Survivor Borneo”).  This only counts as a twist because it later caused Sue to quit the game in a memorable fit of rage, and, much like Jenna’s quit, it was a good, if unpleasant, twist.

Although this season was meant to honor seasons past, it didn’t mean that this season couldn’t start trends itself.  This season gave us the first instance of a combined reward/immunity challenge outside of the first immunity challenge, as well as the ability to kidnap a member of the other tribe, thus keeping them from tribal council.  Chapera won and chose Kathy, which led to a lot of good strategy talk, so I’m calling this a good twist.

This season also saw another instance of a reward that allows you to steal items from the other tribe.  This wasn’t like it’s inception on “Survivor Marquesas”, which was a free-for-all, nor was it a running twist like on “Survivor Pearl Islands”, but it was just a “Pick 3 items for a reward” deal.  I though this was a good balance, and liked the reward.

Drawing from “Survivor Thailand”, this season also gave us a fake merge, when in actuality, it was just another tribe swap, the first time it happened twice in one season.  This caught most people off guard, and made for some funny moments.  Notable, however, was that the tribes exactly flipped, with only Amber getting new tribemates.  This twist of the switch served to make it much more memorable and enjoyable, so I can’t say I don’t like it.  It also led to one of the few player twists of the season, when Boston Rob asked Lex for a favor to save Amber, in return for his keeping Lex and his alliance longer in the game.  It was a bold move, and created much drama when it didn’t work out, including the aforementioned argument with Lex.

Post merge was a move back to an old camp, which was slightly new.  Beforehand, tribes had moved to an already settled camp, or else an entirely new one.  To return to the old Saboga beach was unprecedented.  Also, no merge feast for the new Chaboga Mogo tribe.

From here on out, it was pretty boring, with the old Mogo Mogo getting Pagonged.  There was a reward challenge where edveryone got to eat, which would show up in a few later seasons, and the betrayal of Alicia, “Big Tom” Buchanan (“Survivor Africa”), and Rupert, which provided a few more player twists, but for the most part, everything was normal.  Then Amber won.  What an unpleasent twist.

This wasn’t the end, though.  Jerri Manthey walked out in justified frustration at the Reunion show, which was unpleasant, but this wasn’t the end either.  After 8 seasons, CBS saw fit to hold a popularity contest of the All-Stars, with the winner getting another million dollars.  Naturally, Rupert won, and the twist was decried as unfair, as it relied heavilly on editing.  I, however, diagree.  It was a nice tribute to the audience, who helped make the show, and as long as it didn’t become a regular thing, I saw no trouble with it.  In fact, it was an overall enjoyable tribute to the seasons.

Overall, a lack of player twists, and some general unpleasant twists drag this season down a bit, but overall, the twists were pretty good.

Score: 8 out of 10

OVERALL

The unpleasentness of how personal the cast took this season really cost it some points with me.  Also, while most of the cast was good, the ones who dragged it down REALLY dragged it down.  But you know what?  It doesn’t matter that much.  This was not a season, for new, original, dynamic cast members. This really was a different sort of season, existing to memorialize and praise past seasons.  This is why the problems with the cast don’t matter that much: it’s worth it just to see them back again.  The excitement of that sheer fact overwhelms everything.

Score: 33 out of 40

ABSTRACT

All-Stars is very much a “Survivor” fan’s season.  It contained so many refferences, so much nostalgia for the first 7 seasons, it couldn’t be anything but.  It does have some unpleasent factors that make it less enjoyable, but any fan of the show must see this season.  On the whole, I’d give it a watch, but ONLY after watching the other seasons before it first.  I admit, I myself did not follow this, but this was because at the time, only “Survivor Borneo”, “Survivor The Australian Outback”, and “Survivor Pearl Islands” were on DVD, so I had no choice.  Now all seasons through 12 are out, so there’s no excuse not to see them.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Marquesas

For all that I said that “Survivor Africa” was considered the worst of “Classic ‘Survivor'”, on the whole it is still well remembered, if only for fitting in the aforementioned category.  Particularly given it’s (relatively) recent DVD release, people have been remembering it much more fondly.  No, the first season to truly divide people on whether it was good or not was “Survivor Marquesas”.  Some people think it was an endearing, amazing season that deserves to also be ranked as “Classic ‘Survivor'”, some people think it’s a festering pool of awful.  Where do I fall?  Let’s do the analysis and find out.

Once again, I warn my readers that this retrospective will contain spoliers, but I will give an unspoilerish opinion on whether or not the season is good/should be watched in the “Abstract” section.  Those wishing to read just that section should scroll directly to the bottom of the page to read it.  Now, on with the review!

CAST

I hate to peak earl, but unfortunately this is where the season thrives or dies for most people.  If you like the season, you see the few great players they had as dominating, and even some of the lesser players had their moments.  If you hate the season, you see the good players as overrated, and the lesser players getting for too much screen time.  Oddly, I sort of fall into both categories, as while I think the “great” players are overrated, I think some of the “lesser” players are underrated.

In order to explain, I’ll have to organize the “Cast” section a little differently, and talk about the distribution of people before I go on to who is remembered and if they deserve it or not.  The thing about Marquesas is that it didn’t do as good a job at getting a variety of strategy types.  Now, I don’t mean that they didn’t vary their people, locations, and lifestyles enough, that they were still up to par with the previous seasons.  No, I mean that everyone on Marquesas was either a hardcore strategist, or else completely naive to the game.  There really was no middle ground.  At least with the first 3 seasons, they gave us SOME people who were both moral yet strategic.  This season just felt like extremes of the tropes, on the whole, and could have made for a very boring season, just washing extremes battle with each other to see who would come out on top.  It didn’t help that by the final 8, the strategic people were, by and large, eliminated, which could have made for a very boring season.  What saves it, however, was that some of the people actually CHANGED their strategy in the middle, and became much more strategic than they were.  This was EXCEDINGLY fascinating, and, in my opinion, saved the cast of the season from utter ruin.

Now onto the cast specifics.  Far and away, the person most remembered out of Marquesas is “Boston” Rob Mariano, a construction worker who fancied himself a Godfather of “Survivor”.  However, this fame largely came to being after “Survivor All-Stars”, not to mention the fact that he’s the castaway utilized the most by CBS, appearing on 4 separate seasons (meaning that for every 6 seasons you watch, you will see Boston Rob in one of them).  He’s considered by many to be one of the greatest strategists the game has ever seen, and I freely admit that he’s not that bad.  On the other hand, I’d expect he’d be pretty good AFTER 4 DAMN CHANCES AT THE TITLE!  But of course, we’re not here to look at his future record, we’re here to look at what he did on Marquesas.  So, he voted off alpha male Hunter Ellis to gain power for himself…  Alright, decent strategic move.  He made some wisecracks at the expense of his fellow tribemates…  Ok.  And that’s it.  That’s all Boston Rob did in his tenure on Marquesas, getting eliminated shortly after the merge by a majority alliance from the former Rotu tribe for being a physical threat.  He really did virtually nothing, aside from influencing one vote in the third episode.  The rest was just him cracking jokes, waiting to be voted off.  He tried to save himself, certainly, but he failed miserably.  At this point, it should be no secret that I’m not a huge Boston Rob fan.  I think he’s highly overrated, and annoying in large doses.  My personal favorite contestant from Marquesas (not to mention another fan favorite) is Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien, the Real-Estate Agent from Vermont.  The reason I like Kathy is very simple: she exemplifies what I love about the cast.  Kathy, coming into the game, fell into the “naive” category I mentioned earlier, really having no idea how to play the game, just having a few basic survival skills, and being good in the challenges.  In fact, to begin with she was so bad at the social game, the only reason she wasn’t eliminated was because Rotu went on a winning streak early on, and she found herself in the majority after the tribe swap.  However, unlike past and future castaways, Kathy actually LEARNED as she went on, and changed her game to the point of becoming a strategical dominator for the season post merge.  This is so impressive in my eyes, and for me, it makes Kathy one of the greats.  Unlike Boston Rob, I can see why she was invited back for All-Stars, and I’m sad that she isn’t really talked about anymore, because I think she’s a great example of adaptability in the game.  Now, I’ve said that I don’t think Boston Rob should have been invited back for All-Stars, but who do I think should have?  Aside from Kathy, the answer would have to be Sean Rector, a very witty Harlem Schoolteacher nicknamed “Malcolm Farrakhan” by eventual winner Vecepia Towery.  Like Boston Rob, he was strategic and funny.  Unlike Boston Rob, however, he seemed human, likeable, and had less of an ego.  His strategy was more subtle, and I found him much funnier than Boston Rob.  So, yeah, Sean was pretty cool.  Also remembered, though mainly because Probst likes her, is Gina Crews, who fell squarely on the “moral” side of the spectrum.  The “Watermelon Queen” in real life, she was a tough woman (which this season had a lot of) who pretty much fell apart after Hunter’s exit, then seemed to regain her footing after the tribe switch, only to be voted outfor being in the minority on her tribe.  Yeah, I’m not too fond of her.  She’s likeable enough, I suppose, but she really didn’t impact the game that much, and just left me feeling neutral.  The two utter notable names of the season are Neleh Dennis (the Mormon runner-up of the season) and Sarah Jones (Cleopatra).  They are both, unfortunately, remembered for negative things.  Neleh takes a lot of flak for being overly sweet and repeatedly saying “Oh, my heck.”, despite being a halfway decent strategist (though to be fair, some of the flak also comes from her insisting that she was moral when, in fact, she was not).  Sarah, meanwhile, is remembered for being a prissy girl whose main assets were in silicone.  As my earlier parenthesis might have reminded some, she’s best remembered for doing absolutely no work to row the raft into shore, but sat atop while her “servants” paddled in, which was describes as similar to Cleopatra arriving at her palace, appropriately played with Egyptian-themed music in the background.  So yeah, of the people most remembered, there are only 2 that I really like, but I do think that one person off this season has been neglected in “Survivor” lore.  That person is Tammy Leitner, a crime reporter from Arizona.  Tammy is one of the few people this season who actually balanced morals and strategy.  Ok, to be fair, she tended more towards the moral side of things, but she could be strategic when she wanted to, and had a “never say ‘die'” attitude that I find fascinating.  Unfortunately, this is where the good ends.  Vecepia is not really a good winner, called a “Bible-thumping Bitch” by both contestants and viewers alike, and the rest of the cast was just bland (aside, perhaps, from John Carroll, who had halfway decent strategy, but is unfortunately, only remembered for falling on a sea urchin, and needing Kathy to come pee on his hand).  Maybe now you see the problem with Marquesas: it had to rely on a few really good characters, instead of a good cast overall.  Still, the characters they relied on were (for the most part) good choices, particularly Kathy, and the cast is salvaged pretty well.

Score: 8 out of 10

CHALLENGES

For me, this is where Marquesas suffers the most. A lot of this had to do with the location, which I’ll talk more about in the “Overall” section, but suffice to say that “Generic South Pacific Island” is not as epic as the Australian Outback, or the African bush.  It did mean a fair number of water challenges, which made for a nice change, but the scale of the challenges just seemed to go down.  There were some good ones, to be sure, and it held true to some “Survivor” staples (blindfolded obstacle courses, the “Fallen Comrades” challenge, and probably one of the best gross food challenges ever), but a lot of them felt repeptitive.  There was a lot of “build something” challenges, which are good in and of themselves, but when there are too many of them, they start to feel repetitive.  This season also had a lot of “Sail the boat out to sea, grab some generic things, and race back with them” challenges, which got old really fast.  Particularly after the merge, things just seemed to get mundane.  I don’t mean they got modernized, of course, but the challenges started to feel very much like simple chores rather than complex obstacles.  For instance, some indidvidual challenges in Marquesas included building and flying kites, breaking open coconuts to fill a tube, and building a fire to pop popcorn.  Not exactly what I think of when I think “Survivor”.  I admire that the producers were trying to go a different direction, but this feels like a step backward instead of a step forward.

Not much else to say.  The challenges this season, on the whole, were just weak.

Score: 3 out of 10.

TWISTS

Marquesas was the last season before the producers began to get “twist happy”, and people do seem to respect it for this.  However, while very few of the twists (made by the producers or the players) were great, there were very few God-awful ones as well, and the twists just come off as “ok”.

To begin with, this marked a new level of deprivation for the castaways.  Previously, they’d been given a ration of some form of food (usually rice), but this time had very meagre supplies.  On the one hand, this made the first few episodes rather hard to watch, as the tribes spent a lot of time complaining about the food situation.  On the other hand, it was a nice challenge for the tribes, changed up the game somewhat, and came off ok once the tribes figured out how to get food.  The next twist is what Boston Rob is remembered for: flipping the vote to alpha-male Hunter.  This in and of itself is nothing new, we’d seen alpha males voted off early so others could sieze power, Joel Klug (“Survivor Borneo”) being the prime example of this.  What separates Hunter’s vote out was that unlike other alpha male boots, Hunter was actually in control at some point (and not just under the illusion of control), and was also necesarry.  The Maraamu Tribe had lost every single challenge up until that point, and so having physical strength would have been helpful.  The only reason to vote off the alpha male at this point was to sieze power, and it shocked people, so I suppose that makes it a good twist.  The producers swtiched up tribes again, though this time a bit differently.  They had each castaway stand on a random wooden disk.  On the bottom of these disks were new buffs, to designate new tribes.  This is more random than the switch in “Survivor Africa”, and also kept the tribe numbers the same (Rotu at 8, Maraamu at 5), though this may have been due to the uneven number of castaways left.  Still, I admire the producers for doing it that way (it seems fairer to me, somehow) and makes for a solid tribe switch.  The next “twist” wouldn’t come until the final 9, but it was a doozy, and what most proponants of the season hold up as its crowning moment.  At the final 9, the “Rotu 4 alliance”, consisting of John Carroll, Zoe Zanidakis, Tammy Leitner, and Robert DeCanio was in control, with Neleh Dennis and Paschal English believing themselves to be involved in the alliance.  However, with the first instance of the “answer questions, then chop down people to reveal the pecking order” challenge, Neleh and Paschal realized they were on the bottom, and so changed things up, allying with Kathy, Sean, and Vecepia to eliminate the Rotu 4.  This marked the first instance of a “Totem Pole” shakeup, where the people on the bottom of the alliance flip to further themselves (something that has been severly lacking in recent seasons).  It’s not the most exciting flip, but it was unexpected, and a solid example overall.  The next twist wouldn’t  come until the Final 4, but it’s what everyone remembers about this season.  At the Final 4, the target of the night (Vecepia) had won immunity, and the results of the vote were tied, with Kathy and Neleh each receiving 2 votes.  Here, it was revealed the new method for breaking deadlock ties.  Rather than the “Votes Cast Previously” method of seasons past, we now got into the “Purple Rock” method of breaking ties.  To briefly explain how this works, in the event of a deadlock tie, the person with individual immunity is immune, and the people voted for become immune.  The rest of the tribe pulls rocks, with the one who draws the purple rock being eliminated.  If this seems like a stupid method (in that the people voted for become immune, when clearly they weren’t playing a good enough game), it is, and is done to discourage ties, which do not, evidently, make for good tv.  The problem here, though, is that the method works for every number except 4, where you would have only 1 person draw rocks.  To rectify this, Probst had the two peoplvoted for draw rocks, as well as Paschal.  However, despite never having a vote cast against him, Paschal was the one eliminated, making for the first unisex final 3, and also sparked outrage from the fan community.  This is why later season switched to the fire building tiebreaker at the final 4, and good riddance, I say.  The final twist of the season was the first successful final immunity negotiation, where Vecepia agreed to jump off if Neleh would take her along.  Neleh agreed, and kept to her word, which was actually kind of interesting to see.

Overall, this season had few earth-shattering twists (that didn’t spark outrage), but could still hold it’s own in the department.

Score: 7 out of 10.

OVERALL

Marquesas, unfortunately, does not have one strong element to help the others.  Unlike previous locations, which had a strong theme, and were generally epic, Marquesas was just another island chain, with very little to separate itself from the group of other islands in the series.  The cast, the strongest element, had enough forgetable/unlikeable people that it can’t hold the series together, and the challenges were repetitive and weak.  The twists, however, might hold it up, depending on how you look at it.  This is part of what divides people: Do twists, in and of themselves, make a good season.  Probst doesn’t think they do, while Dalton Ross (one of the foremost “Survivor” experts, apart from myself) enjoys the season for it’s twists.  For me, I like the twists a good deal, but my relative dislike of the cast just drags the season down for me.  Still, it can be entertaining, sets itself apart in a few ways, and, if your patient, the season is fairly entertaining.

Also, just to end on a slightly humorous note: Rosie O’Donnel=bad choice to host the reunion show.  Probst and Bryant Gumble brought a dignity to the proceedings, and seemed appropriate, but Rosie just made it a big joke.

Score: 23 out of 40

ABSTRACT

Marquesas is soley for the “Survivor” enthusiast.  Hardly the most entertaining installment, it gave us very little in every category.  However, there are a few moments of excitement that make this season an ok watch, and given how much a certain character comes back in later seasons, those looking to understand the progression of “Survivor” should definitely watch Marquesas.