Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Finale: Everybody Hates Cydney

Say what you will about the finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but in my opinion, it was entertaining. Sure, it was pretty bog-standard at times, and sure, where it DID deviate from the norm were areas that would be pretty controversial. But it was still hilarious. And, as the title may indicate, our highlight of the night was once again the result of a fire-making challenge at the final four.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, and start back at the beginning, where Mark the Chicken threatens his own life in the game by waking everybody up at oh-dark-thirty in the morning. Tai, no fan of the snooze button, takes Mark out for a cuddle session by the beach, where he talks about his drive to win the game, and while it’s a confessional we’ve seen a million times before, it’s still kind of sweet. Around this time, we also get more of a “Michele is determined” confessional, which is unsurprising and uninteresting.

Once dawn has actually broken, we get to hear some strategy from Aubry and Tai. The pair agree to stick together (smart for both of them, since Aubry needs a solid ally, and Tai needs the girls not to stick together and get him out), and correctly decide to target Michele. The grounds for this, rather than Michele being the biggest jury threat after Aubry, is that Cydney’s the person most likely to be swayed to their side. Not the only logic I’d expect from this crew, but I can definitely see their point in this matter. Either way, the pair come up with the best option for both of them.

At our reward challenge, we get our first misstep: Copying “Survivor Worlds Apart”. Granted, if you’re going to copy an element from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, this challenge is one to do it on. Each contestant slides tiles with numbers on one side, line patterns on the other, into a hole, hitting a pan. Once all their tiles are slid, they must carry as many as possible on the flat of a machete to a finish table. There, they pair up matching line patterns, using the numbers from the three unique tiles to open a combination lock, winning reward. While I do wish we got an original challenge, as always, this one is a pretty good one to do, bringing in a nice “do it yourself” aesthetic, but having several fun stages to watch. I’ll let it slide this time.

While our challenge comes from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, our reward comes circa “Survivor Exile Island”. It’s a full-course meal with a protein bar added on for somewhat of a comedic effect. A pretty good reward to have (though not the best we’ll see tonight), and it’s not a game-breaker like a challenge advantage, so I’m happy there. I’m also happy that we get a pretty even challenge overall, though Aubry ends up taking the lead to win. While she does lose a lot of it, due to a mistake in the pattern matching, she ends up winning the challenge overall, good for her. And, of course, Probst offers her the chance to bring somebody along for the ride. After a bit of thought, Aubry chooses Cydney, which, contrary to what Michele will say later, I say is the correct decision. She and Tai were talking about needing to bring Michele into the fold, and what better way to do so than by sharing a feast with her? On top of this, if the goal is for Michele not to win immunity, then you want to maximize those chances by bringing someone along, and in terms of challenge ability, Cydney is the clear choice.

The food works its magic, and Cydney hops right on board with Aubry. She admits she’s playing in the middle, which frankly is what she should be doing, but she also says her “ideal” final three would be herself, Aubry, and Tai, so that seems pretty definitive to me. As I said last week, and will continue to say this episode, Cydney has played an excellent game overall, having a very good read on people, and always making sure she has a backup plan to stay in power. But if I WERE to find a flaw in it, apart from perhaps moving away from the old To Tang when she would have been pretty well guaranteed final three against less-likable players, it would be this here. Aubry and Tai should NOT be Cydney’s idea final three. Michele and Aubry should be. At this point, with how many days there are left, we have to assume that there’s going to be a final two at this point. Whether Cydney can win against anybody left, I don’t know, but your primary goal going into a final three should be to have people who will take you to the end on either side of you, thus lowering the pressure on that final immunity challenge. Going with Aubry and Tai means that you’re stuck with at least one person who won’t take you regardless (Tai), and one person who sees you as a threat (Aubry). Going with Aubry and Michele means that you have your biggest competition angling to get each other out, rather than yourself. BOOM! Guaranteed spot at Final Tribal Council. Keep that in mind. The food is working its magic.

Back at the camp, we’re in reruns, as Michele points out to Tai that they’re on the bottom, and that perhaps they ought to work together to oust Aubry. This is also where Michele criticizes Aubry’s taking of Cydney on reward, and again, I have to disagree. You’re pissing off two people regardless, and since there’s no way Aubry is taking you, she’s going to be leaving someone behind to plot with you regardless. Better to leave Tai behind, since he’s more firmly on her side. Just like last episode, Tai talks about it being an individual game, and how he may need to flip on Aubry for his own benefit, but this time I don’t buy it. Once bitten, twice shy, but if Tai wasn’t going to flip on Aubry when he was pissed off and it was in his best interest, no way he does so now.

Not done with our repetition of “Survivor Worlds Apart”, the immunity challenge is ALSO a repeat of a challenge from that season. Running to a platform in the water, contestants take a key back to shore and unlock a ladder, which leads to second key, which unlocks a ball and rope, which they use to pull down a ladder, which leads to a third key, which unlocks a pole with which to push off a bag of puzzle pieces, which then must be used to solve a puzzle to win immunity. An overly complicated challenge, and overall just kind of dull, though I’ll admit that the puzzle is nicely different, and the stairs and ladder unfolding was kind of cool to watch.

As with a lot of boring challenges, it’s saved with a good bit of back-and-forth. Aubry once again takes an early lead, but stumbles on the puzzle, while Tai and Cydney trade places a lot, and Michele oddly slows down on the physical portions of the challenge. That doesn’t matter as much, though, as Michele comes back to win immunity! A nice win on her part, but probably the worst possible outcome for Aubry. Now that her primary target is gone, she herself is likely to become a target, and at the very least, she’ll have to vote out someone who’d likely take her to the final two.

Sure enough, as soon as we get back to camp, the wheels start turning. True to her word about keeping her options open, when Michele broaches the subject of getting rid of Aubry, Cydney jumps right on board. We don’t see her advocate for getting rid of Tai, which at this point would probably be her best move, but since it seems like Michele wouldn’t go for that anyway, it’s probably not that big of a deal. And Aubry is a real threat, so might as well get her out anyway.

Tai, on the other hand, is not so easily swayed. We get some lip service to the fact that he MAY decide to just keep it simple and vote for Aubry, but with the way he and Aubry talk, plus the history they’ve had together, you can tell it’s not going to happen, and a tie (or a Tai, if you will), is going to be forced. If you needed any big evidence for it, look no further than the notable conversation where Cydney asks Michele if she ought to practice making fire, and Michele says no. If that wasn’t epic foreshadowing for a fire-making challenge, as well as for the outcome, I don’t know what is.

That particular Tribal Council, in a rarity for the season, is pretty ho-hum, though to be fair, we all know it’s just window-dressing for the main event. Sure enough, we get our promised tie, and Cydney and Aubry, the two allies, just duke it out in a fire-making challenge. And let me tell you, this is the highlight of the episode. Oh, not because it’s incredibly close like the battle between Bobby Jon and Stephenie on “Survivor”, nor is it hilariously bad like the one on “Survivor Cook Islands”, but for the jury’s reaction. The whole “Jury may not interact with players.” rule has varied in how strictly it’s enforced, and this is by no means the most emotive jury we’ve ever seen, but this was really lopsided in how the jurors wanted it to go. I mean, I know Cydney made some enemies on the jury, but she was just REVILED by most of them. Granted, it was kind of funny that Cydney’s fire never really even got off the ground, but this was really a case of “Burn the witch!” level of ill will towards Cydney.

In the end, the jury gets their wish, and Cydney gets the axe. Especially after that trashing she took from the jury, I have to say it’s a loss. As I said, Cydney’s game may not have been the strongest out of everyone left, but that’s more of a testament to the strength of the others games than to any weakness in Cydney’s game. She played hard, and by and large she played well, and so will be missed. That said, if someone had to go at this time, she was probably the least interesting person left, and the least likely to win, so from that perspective, it’s the least of all evils. As I say, though, no disrespect there for Cydney. She has well earned a good spot in “Survivor” history.

Michele, naturally, is upset back at the camp, given that people are only NOW starting to realize that this season is going to be a final two rather than a final three. The three try and console each other, repeating over and over that there CAN’T be any more votes, and that they’re at the end. Frankly, I’m sick of it! Look, wishful thinking is one thing, but this is just denying the facts! Sometimes the game doesn’t work out the way you want it to, and that can be frustrating, but there’s no sense in denying it!

See? There’s tree-mail right now telling you to go for your final challenge, and now you’ll have to do the hard work of deciding who to go to the end with. Probst is taking off the necklace, once and for all confirming that… they’re the final three and will go on to plead their case at Final Tribal Council?

Please hold for a moment while the blogger goes and puts his brain back in. It fell out due to being improperly secured during that sharp turn.

POP! Ok, so yes, the optimists were right, and this is a final three. Have to admit, I didn’t see that coming. They got me. Good one. Granted, I generally prefer final twos over final threes, and so am a bit frustrated in that regard, but, due to how impressed I am at the producers pulling the wool over our eyes so, I have a hard time being frustrated at it. Plus, what we get instead is also really cool.

Yes, for once Probst’s grandstanding about “A ‘Survivor’ First!” was not, in fact, grandstanding, but the real deal. Rather than play for immunity, our players instead play for the right to kick one member off the jury. They’ll leave Tribal Council, be sequestered so they can’t unduly influence the votes, and get no say at the Final Tribal Council. Now, I know for a fact that this twist has some backlash, and I can’t pretend it’s not without merit. Something just seems unfair about putting some poor schmo on the jury only to have his or her last moment in the sun ripped away on the whim of one player. It goes against what seems to be at the core of normal “Survivor”. I, on the other hand, really like this twist! True, it does seem to fundamentally change “Survivor” from what we knew, but frankly, a good twist will do that. Personally, I see this as merely adding a new layer of jury management, and like it better than, say, a “challenge advantage”, because it’s less of a guarantee, and requires brains to be used smartly. So yeah, I think this is a cool idea! Wouldn’t want to see it used EVERY season, but if they brought it back, I wouldn’t complain.

The challenge itself? Well, in a fitting parallel to the beginning of the season, the past has come back to haunt our contestants. You remember how the first immunity challenge had a choice of a puzzle or a stacking end, and nobody did stacking? Well, not being ones to waste an opportunity, that horrible stacking option is now the final challenge of this season. You could avoid it temporarily, but not entirely, if you made it to the end. Even though it’s not an immunity challenge, and it’s visually boring, this is probably my favorite final challenge in a while. Though not exactly endurance, it’s not a strength challenge, and seems tough enough to be worthy of coming last in a season. Plus, as I said, the parallels to the beginning of the season are a nice touch.

Once again, we get a good back and forth challenge, and once again Michele edges out the competition, leaving her with the decision of who to vote off. Talking with Tai, Michele reveals to no one’s surprise that her primary target is Joe, due to being an unpersuadable Aubry vote, which makes perfect logical sense. Michele also considers taking out Neal, since he’s also a likely Aubry vote, but with more persuasive skills than Joe. Not bad logic, and Tai certainly pushes evicting Neal, but I’m inclined to say that Joe is still the better option. Not that Neal is a BAD option, since he is probably an Aubry vote, but I feel like Neal would be more open to persuasive arguments than Joe would. I hear the argument about Neal being able to persuade others, but, much as the show would have us believe that Final Tribal Council votes can be swayed, I feel like, with maybe a few jurors as exceptions, everyone’s vote is locked in by the time we get to Tribal Council. So, I say go with the least-persuadable sure vote against you.

Aubry being Aubry, of course, does not let one of her jury advocates go so easily. She attempts to switch the vote on to Scot, since he’s deemed “Most likely to give a bitter speech.”, which Michele seems to consider, but I’m not buying it. Michele has played logically pretty much the entire game, and logic dictates that Aubry, being Michele’s biggest threat, needs to have any sure votes for her taken away.

With fewer stakes, and a more predictable outcome, this Tribal Council is also little to write home about, though again, the vocalizations of the jury are a joy to watch, and we do get a bit of a spat near the end. Unsurprisingly, Michele goes for Neal, who was far more of an Aubry advocate than I though, REALLY tearing Michele apart as he leaves, comparing her to a suckling puppy. I get that Neal was an Aubry fan, and that he didn’t really get to see Michele’s game, but that was HARSH, man! For all that I am an Aubry fan, and think that of those remaining, her game was the best, Michele is still not to be disrespected. She played both sides of the fence masterfully from behind the scenes, and was incredibly flexible. She makes an excellent winner for the season. Maybe not the BEST possible winner, but excellent nonetheless.

Since it’s nigh-on impossible to find new things to talk about on Day 39, Tai, Aubry, and Michele pretty much just give us the standard confessionals you’d expect at this point in the game. Michele has the “I’ve played a good game.” confessional, Tai the “I love the game so much.” confessional, and Aubry the “I’ve learned so much!” confessional, mixed with a little bit of “Good game” confessional as well. Hopefully Tribal Council will be more interesting.

Sad to say, but it’s not. While by no means the worst we’ve ever seen, I don’t feel it really merits a blow-by-blow, especially since we’re going to have a lot to cover following the end of the episode itself. So, without further ado, here are some highlights:

-Even though he had perhaps the least to say out of anybody, Nick arrogance still managed to shine through. His “question” basically amounted to a preschooler’s guide to Final Tribal Council, with a little bit of personal advice thrown in for the players. Frankly, I wouldn’t have bothered noting it were it not for the fact that the image of Nick teaching preschoolers about “Survivor” makes me laugh.

-I’ll admit, the show got me one more time tonight. Julia’s question had me fooled. What everyone (including myself) saw as a locked “Michele” vote starts lambasting Michele in her question, talking about her early-game weakness. She turned it around of course, but it was still a well-done fake-out.

-With regards to that, actually, Michele’s answer to that was pretty bad, I thought. She and Aubry both gave pretty good Final Tribal Council performances overall, but while Aubry was maybe less exciting overall, she was more consistent. Rather than try and say that she wasn’t as weak as she seemed early game, Michele owned up to it and used it instead. This lead to the emotionally punctuating moments that Aubry didn’t have that may have clinched Michele’s win, but still, it seemed like Michele was admitting that she was kind of pathetic early on, and not in a good way. Just an odd choice to me.

-So, for all that worry about Scot being a bitter juror who might shake things up, he ends with… a hula dance. Oooh-kayyyy…

-And yeah, sending off Mark the Chicken was a nice farewell to the season. Good for you, show.

As I’ve been hinting at, Michele ends up winning in a 5-2 vote, and I have thoughts on that, believe me, but first, let us talk briefly about the reunion show, which, while not as bad as the reunion show of “Survivor Caramoan”, is still pretty bad. Too much time spent on celebrities, and not enough time with the contestants. So many unanswered questions. Who voted for whom? What do the pre-merge boots think about everything? What would Neal have asked at Final Tribal Council? And what did Cydney have to think about everything? Seriously, I can kind of get the logic in ignoring the pre-merge boots, even if I think it’s a douchey move, but ignoring CYDNEY? The lady who was a MAJOR influence on the course of the game, and even made the final episode, doesn’t even get a QUESTION at the reunion show? I’m so angry at this, I’m going to switch to text-speak. WTF, MAN?

Oh, and of course we also get our preview for next season. It’s going to be called “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X”.

Ha ha! No seriously, what’s it going to be called! This can’t be the actual title! It sounds like a MAD TV parody?

This isn’t a joke? It’s the actual title and theme of next season Hoo boy, where to begin?

Well, I suppose to start off, THIS IS A STUPID TITLE! We’ve had “versus” titles before, but those have been succinct and roll off the tongue. This title lolls around like it’s on a bunch of painkillers. Secondly, the theme is stupid. Apart from seeming more gimmicky than other tribe divisions, it basically amounts to diving the tribes by age. Which you already did. “Survivor Nicaragua.” Yeah, remember how that went? Granted, I’ve always said the concept could be done better, and maybe this season will give us that, but still, if you were going to reuse an idea, why this one? And, thirdly, THIS IS A STUPID TITLE! Seriously, even “Survivor Worlds Apart” knew not to call itself “Survivor White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar”! It’s not even like finding a good title was hard. Here, I’ll give you one right now: “Survivor Generations” Is it lame? Sure. But it’s still better than “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X”! Hell, from now on, I’m referring to it as “Survivor MGX”. I am NOT typing out that title week after week!

Ah, but that’s a rant to have next season, and a long way off in the future, so for now, we’ll just pretend it doesn’t exist. For now, it’s time to talk about the big issue of this season: the winner. Well, I say “issue”, but really, “controversy” would be a better word, because surprisingly enough, I don’t have much of an issue with Michele winning. As I have said before, and will say again, Michele played a great, if subtle, game. She never gave, up, was able to adequately play the middle without taking flak for it, and took risks. Is she the person I think SHOULD have won? No, of course not. As an avowed Aubry fan, I stand behind the fact that Aubry played the best game of the three. Aubry faced setback after setback, yet still came into positions of power, and was the driving force behind a number of flips and votes in the game. Had she won, she would have earned it. But Michele earned her win as well, I don’t begrudge her that. In my mind, this is not a case of the jury getting anything “wrong”, or of an “undeserving winner”, partly because in the case of the latter, I don’t take “deserving” into account, because I don’t think it’s a thing that should really come into play on “Survivor”. Both Aubry and Michele played great games, and while I think Aubry’s was better, Michele did not “steal” the game from Aubry, as some have claimed. She played a good game as well, and it earned her a win.

Still, the question remains: Why Michele over Aubry? We can only speculate, but there are some reasons being touted that I have to just dismiss. Some argue that Neal’s elimination cost Aubry the win, which I think is absurd. he would have been one more Aubry vote, but that’s still only three for her, so Michele wins either way. Contrary to what the show says, I DON’T buy the indecisiveness on the part of people like Jason, so I don’t think Neal’s presence would have drastically changed the outcome. Nor do I buy the conspiracy that the producers implemented the “remove a juror” twist last-minute to prevent a tie. Maybe I’m naive, but I tend to give the producers the benefit of a doubt on things like this, and attribute it to “Survivor” luck that they tend to work out well. Look at the mutiny twist from “Survivor Thailand” as an example of implementing a twist and having it go wrong. Did Aubry put the wrong people on the jury? Again, I have to say I don’t think so. Recall that even some of the people who voted against Aubry, like Jason and Scot, were complimenting her right before they were voted out. That seems like the sort of person you’d want on the jury, so how was Aubry supposed to have known? Was this a “bitter jury”? What evidence is there for it? There was no ranting about people’s games being ruined, nor any tirades from anyone but Neal, who wasn’t even there. That, to me, says no bitterness, especially since there IS a case for Michele’s game. No, I think it was a combination of two factors that did Aubry in this time, both of which were, to a degree, out of her control. The first was the tightness of Jason, Julia, and Scot. I’ll admit this was a failing on my part, but while I knew that Julia was definitely in Michele’s corner, I counted on Jason and Scot being free agents come Final Tribal Council. I should have realized that tight in-game usually means tight on-jury. I think wherever Julia went, Jason and Scot would follow, so that’s three Michele votes right off the bat. A hard hill to overcome. Had Aubry voted out Michele post-merge, or Julia pre-merge, things might have been different, but in the case of the latter, there’s no telling how things would have unfolded from there, and I can see why Aubry didn’t consider Michele a threat, since her game was so on the down-low. Second, and I think most important, is timing. Both Aubry and Michele had a “rising from underdogdom” narrative to work with, and I’d say both used it to great effect. I would say that Aubry’s story overcame greater odds and had greater successes, but that’s just me. The advantage that did Aubry is is when her story peaked. Aubry showed her true self right around the Scot vote, fairly late in the game, but it made the back half of her game seems somewhat weaker. In comparison, Michele’s big moments mostly came at the end, what with getting Neal off the jury and surviving Tai’s double-vote. This makes Michele’s successes more recent, and therefore more prescient in the minds of the jury. Again, not saying that that’s ALL Michele had going for her, but I think it ultimately tipped the scales.

Even without the ideal outcome, though, this was still a great season! While maybe not as big in terms of characters as its predecessor, “Survivor Cambodia”, it still gave us a lot of likable people with really excellent strategy and fun blindsides! What more could you ask for in a season of “Survivor”? I know some complain that the players weren’t as over the top or as likable this season as others, but I’d counter that you can’t expect every season to top the previous one. It’s just not realistic. As it stands, what we got, while admittedly probably not the stuff of “Survivor” legend, is still upper-echelon “Survivor”, and I look forward to seeing many of these players back in the future!

But, before we leave these players for a while, let us reflect back on my stupidity in my rankings pre-season, and find out where I went wrong.

Peter: I may have given him too much credit, and slightly overestimated his time in the game, but I nailed him otherwise.

Aubry: Her personality I got, but I should have gone with my heart rather than my head on her time in the game. She lived up to, and often surpassed, my greatest expectations.

Joe: Wrong, but in my defense, those biographies and introduction videos make everyone seem more exciting. How was I to know he’d be the new Julia Landauer (“Survivor Caramoan”)?

Neal: Wrong, obviously. I think he had what it takes, but he never really got the chance to show it off, and so went a lot earlier than expected.

Liz: She seemed to have what I thought she would, but was a target much earlier than I guessed.

Debbie: Definitely kookier than I would have thought, but she still acquitted herself very well. Better than I thought, anyway.

Cydney: Dead wrong. There were ASPECTS of her character, particularly early on, that lined up with how I thought she’d play, but she was WAY smarter and made it WAY farther than I would have said. Still, if I’m going to be wrong, this is a good way to be wrong!

Darnell: Wrong. Much less socially aware, and much shorter lived than I thought.

Alecia: She did give me a reason for that “tough” description, but I was still wrong about how long she’d last.

Jason: Wrong. He was dramatic, but in a way that gelled with his tribe, and so made it much farther than I predicted.

Jennifer: I predicted neither her neuroticism nor her early exit. Wrong, but fun.

Scot: He was MAYBE a bit smarter than I predicted, but I’m giving myself this one overall. He left about when I though, and played about how I thought.

Anna: I try and give the “pro poker player” occupation the benefit of a doubt, and look what happens! Wrong!

Nick: Well, he was an arrogant douchebag and left the first time he was vulnerable, so TECHNICALLY, I was right.

Caleb: Right on personality, wrong on time in the game. Then again, how could I have predicted his medevac?

Julia: Wrong. While I can’t say she was any more interesting than I thought, she did make it very far, and was pretty good strategically.

Tai: Wrong. He was far more flexible than I would have thought, and lasted longer for it.

Michele: If there’s one consolation to Michele’s win, it’s that I CALLED IT! NEENER NEENER NEENER!

As I said before, good cast, good season. My feeling overall is that people like this season less than I do, and the success of Aubry probably has something to do with my inflated score, but even taking that into account, I think this season stands on its own. It has a lot of strategy right from the get-go, has generally likable heroes who end up succeeding in the end, and even if it’s not ground-breaking, it’s still solid. This season was under-hyped before it began, and I think now I understand why the medevacs were emphasized over the gameplay. While quite good, the gameplay still wasn’t groundbreaking, whereas the medevacs were something we don’t see every season, and for good reason (though Probst attributing all of them to heat was an error on his part). Thus, you want to emphasize the most unique aspect of your season, to make it stand out. Granted, I think they still could have talked about a season of “heroes and villains, and epic blindsides” along with the medevacs, but I can definitely see from a marketing standpoint why they might not be what you want to emphasize.

If nothing else, this season has given me one thing that I love, and therefore it’s time for another…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

Today, we’re talking about my personal favorite contestants of all time. Not the best ones, just the ones I enjoy watching the most and least. Guess who ends up on the list from this season.

TOP 5

5. Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): Like I said, this list is for the people I enjoy watching the most, not the people I think played the best games overall. In fact, Rupert is maybe the best exemplar there is of how good gameplay does not automatically equate to entertainment value for me. Despite having next to no strategy, and generally getting carried along for being an easy vote, Rupert is still a fun guy to watch. You can tell that he’s trying to live every minute he can to the best that he can, is over the top and hilarious, and I admire his stick-to-it spirit. He’s one of the guys who got me into “Survivor”, and I owe him for that, plus I can identify with the “fat little picked-on kid” thing. That said, Rupert does fall low on the list because of his overall poor gameplay, and the fact that we’ve seen too much of him overall. Three times was all he needed. Still, he’s so over-the-top and crazy fun that you can understand why he got brought back so often.

4. Stephen Fishbach (“Survivor Tocantins”): Stephen perhaps best exemplifies what I generally like in an entertaining “Survivor” character. He’s smart, but a little neurotic. Witty, but can take jokes and potshots at himself as easily as others. Stephen played a really fascinating game, making alliances with people you wouldn’t expect him to bond with, and showing himself to be tougher than even he thought, making him intensely compelling. His second showing wasn’t as good as I had hoped, but he was still a lot of fun to watch, even if it was at the expense of his misery.

3. Kass McQuillen (“Survivor Cagayan”): Put down the hate sticks, this is my list! What can I say, I think “older” ladies (within the context of the show old, not actually old) who can still be strategic are incredibly compelling. They, in general, are the ultimate contradiction in terms, the supreme underdog. Many like Kass simply for her snarky comments and seemingly no sense of social grace, but for me, I like that she has hidden depths. Look a little deeper and you’ll see a woman who knows a lot more than she lets on, and is able to at times fool even the audience. That means that, no matter what you watch her for, you’ll always get a surprise. Plus, she had that incredible come-from-behind victory on the puzzle. That, in my book, helps make a great character.

2. John Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”): Pretty much the previous contestant I identify most with. Cochran exemplifies all things that are “nerdy”, at least within the context of “Survivor”. he could reference just as well, if not better, than the rest of the audience, and as seen in his second outing, the guy really did know his way around the game. Granted, his antics did sometimes descend into self-parody, and that keeps him from the top spot of this list, but even keeping that in mind, he’s still a character like no other, and in many ways, a really good one.

1. Aubry Bracco (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): Yes, she of the numerous “Survivor” comparisons has won me over. It’s fitting that they showed the tweet of her cosplaying as Cochran at the reunion show, since that’s what ultimately won me over. No, I don’t want to have sex with Cochran, but it did bring home to me that Aubry, in many ways, was Cochran, but with more social graces and less of a stereotype. She made references, but didn’t go overboard with them overall. More than that, though, Aubry was once again a good underdog story. Someone who had arguably some of the worst luck “Survivor” could shower upon you, yet kept digging and somehow would up in the end. Sure, she didn’t win, but that’s how the game goes sometimes. For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed her, and look forward to seeing her in the future.

Honorable Mention: Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien (“Survivor Marquesas”): If Aubry is Cochran with more social graces, then in many ways, Kathy is Kass with more social graces. Another “older” lady who didn’t seem to belong out there, yet somehow weaseled her way into the end with some solid gameplay moments along the way. Kathy also has a good underdog story arc, being one of the best examples of people learning to play as they go, and being very likable on top of that. Two things keep her from the list proper. Partly, she’s not as intellectual as someone like Kass, and it’s a personal preference, but I prefer watching intellect to outdoor skills. Second, and more important, she falls outside my “nostalgia zone”. I watched “Survivor Marquesas” many years after it had aired, so I don’t hold much special attachment to the season. If I did, Kathy might have supplanted Rupert on the list, but Rupert has that nostalgia factor, and just edges her out. She’s still awesome, though.

BOTTOM 5

5. Roger Sexton (“Survivor The Amazon”): This is a case where my rage would probably be much higher if I had a nostalgic attachment to this season. As it stands, though, sexism will not be rewarded, except with a spot on the “Bottom 5”. “Battle of the Sexes” seasons seem to bring out the worst tendencies in male “Survivor” contestants, but Roger exemplifies that, in a sense, by being the least extreme about it. Rather than be an affected, over-the-top sexism, Roger just seems casually sexist in general, pretty much ignoring the women come the merge. In some ways, though, this is worse, since it makes it seem as though this is how Roger really is, rather than an exaggerated character. This, in my eyes, makes him an awful human being, and hard to watch as a result.

4. Kat Edorsson (“Survivor One World”): I’ve had many a rant about this young lady, so I’ll be brief here. While there are exceptions to this rule, I generally like my characters intellectually stimulating and witty. Kat is the opposite of this. She, as a character, exemplifies every stereotype associated with the valley girl. She is stupid, vapid, and unfunny, which is perhaps the worst indictment of all. She’s not an awful human being, like some on this list are, but she’s no fun to watch either.

3. “Purple Kelly” (“Survivor Nicaragua”): Technically, she’s a stand in for everyone who gives up on “Survivor”, but still justified in that Kelly Shinn, aka “Purple Kelly”, exemplifies my problem with this type of character. People quitting, at this point in the series, was nothing new, but people who brought nothing, and gave up under the lamest of circumstances, are wasted space. You can’t help but think “that spot could have gone to someone worthy!”, and it’s pretty hard to like someone when you’re thinking that.

2. Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”): My problem with Phillip may not be his fault, but, to paraphrase the man himself, “He annoys me greatly.” The man took time away from actual interesting people to go off and act crazy, and I don’t mean that in the racist way. Phillip, rather than talk strategy, garbled crazy philosophy, and THOUGHT he was talking strategy. Especially in his first outing, the man did NOTHING to merit being cast on the season, yet the marketing department kept coming back to him as this “hilarious” ball of comedy. Which he wasn’t. I hope I’ve made that clear.

1. Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”): And so, we come to the ultimate delusion of grandeur. Like with Kat, I feel as though I’ve talked about this a number of times, so I’ll be brief. Russell is basically a grown up whiny little kid who grossly overestimates himself, then bitches and moans when things don’t go his way. He has no respect for the game, is misogynistic, simplistic, and a leech on our viewing time. May he be gone from our screens forever.

Honorable Mention: Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”): Colton was basically another Russell Hantz, although he focussed more on racism than sexism, and amped the whininess up to a whole new level. I leave him off the list because, after the tragic and unfortunate death of his fiancee, Caleb Bankstown (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”), I feel like the poor guy has had enough hard times, and doesn’t need me putting him down. The least I can do is keep him off the list proper.

PHEW! I’m just about beat. After a satisfactory end to a great season, I’m about ready for a short break! I may be away for a couple weeks, but don’t worry, you’ll still get your off-season content. I’ve got a special blog I’ve been wanting to do since the season began, so keep your eyes peeled. And, of course, “Survivor Retrospectives” will be up and running again before you know it!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Philippines” Episode 9: Paddle-Balls to the Wall

“Survivor” Medic!

Seriously, I’m having fainting spells, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last!  I know I’m about to spoil the climax of the episode, but damn if I can’t blog without getting it off of my chest.  I’ve praised the misdirection this season by and large, but tonight I thought I had it figured out.  I was sure, despite my own personal biases, that Penner was gone, dead in the water, Skupin was his best chance, and Skupin wasn’t moving without Lisa.  We get to Tribal Council, the 4^th vote for Penner comes up, and I’m dead certain he’s gone.  There’s no way Skupin and Lisa would move independently, so the only way it swings in Penner’s favor is a 6-3 vote for Artis.  Then the last name comes up, I prepare my “Support Denise” banners, and all of a sudden, Artis comes up!  You can’t see me now, but I have a huge grin in my face.  If only to keep it longer, let us savor the sweet journey that was, in my opinion, the best episode of this season.

We start off with a lot of celebrating/complaining about Jeff Kent’s (damn, I thought I wouldn’t have to write that name again) departure.  Of particular interest is why Penner voted for Abi-Maria instead of forcing a tie.  Fan theory was that Penner had a diabolical scheme up his sleeve, which required splintering an alliance.  My theory was that he had a grudge against Jeff Kent (will he never leave this blog?), and couldn’t stand keeping him in.  The big reveal is that Penner was simply confused, and didn’t know there was a plan (despite his grandstanding at the previous Tribal Council).  Wow, loss of points on the brilliance-ometer there Penner.  Don’t worry, you’ll more than earn them back later in the episode.

Also of interest is Lisa, who took a moral bashing last episode, and previews show that she’ll continue to get one this episode.  She tries to explain herself to everyone, and Tandang seems receptive (though Abi-Maria continues to dig her own grave), but still, Lisa questions her decision.

Following commercial, Christmas comes early as Penner’s foreshadowed work on Lisa begins.  Seeming to have gotten over his case of pissed-off-itis from the night before, Penner admits that he still needs a plan in order to move forward.  His plan is to continue his work on Lisa, but hard core now.  He does this, not by strategizing, but by appealing to her emotions.  Now, some of my more frequent readers know that I normally despise this form of manipulation, feeling that it is overall weaker and less effective (not to mention somewhat less scummy) than outright strategizing.  Penner’s use of it I’m ok with for 2 reasons.  The first is that he ADMITS that it’s a strategy, as it’s the best way to get to Lisa, whereas others who use this I believe go with it on the basis that it feels less scummy than the other method.  The second is that, unlike others who appeal in vague noncommittal terms (or fake a birthday, John Cochran of “Survivor South Pacific”), Penner goes straight for the proverbial jugular, not attacking Lisa’s sense of righteousness, but her insecurities, and her insecurities from EARLY LIFE nonetheless!  What’s more, he does it in the guise of friendly advice, claiming to be the first person who understood her.  All this is sprinkled with hyperbolic praise.  “Unprecedented move”, huh? Yes Penner, as a hard core strategist, you of all people know that a person uniting a disparate group of people to form a voting block has NEVER happened before!  I know I should be appalled at Penner’s display, as most of his words a clearly not genuine, but damn it, I can’t help but be impressed with his read of people, and the overall convincing performance he gave!

Challenge?  Oh, yeah, right, I suppose there was a reward challenge this episode.  Do I really have to?  Can’t I just rhapsodize about Penner some more?

In all seriousness, this challenge does deserve a decent amount of mention, both good and bad.  For it, tribes are split into teams of two, who make their way through a muddy obstacle course one at a time, each collecting a bag of balls.  Once everyone has made it through, teams unwrap their balls (12 in all), and try to get them down a small cone.  The first team to get all 12 balls down the cone wins the right to take school supplies (though they mostly look like sports supplies to me) to a local Filipino school, and earns a feast from that school.  This seems, at first, like your average obstacle course challenge of the type I rag on normally.  However, there are two things that save this challenge from my disgust: mud and rice.  Mud is a fun element of every “Survivor” challenge.  It adds to the spills and the hilarity, it gets the castaways dirty, which is rather entertaining, and it just seems like adding insult to injury, if you’re into schadenfreud.  But mud has been done before, it’s old hat, give us something new.  Ok, how about rice? One leg of the challenge forces the castaways to dive through a trough of rice, which, of course, sticks to them and everything muddy.  Even more than mud, this is insult to injury, and it lends this challenge a unique twist that I rather like.  Top it all off with a good bit of strategy by Penner (which I’ll get to in a minute), and you have a decent, solid challenge.

Though really, does it HAVE to be a team challenge?  Would it kill you to let a free-for-all happen, and force people to make choices about who to bring on reward?

Back to Penner (you’ll find that I do that a lot this blog), he finds himself on a team with Malcolm, Denise, and Carter, going up against Skupin, Lisa, Pete, and Artis, with Abi-Maria not picked (there’s a shock, I’m amazed Probst didn’t lampshade it) and therefore ineligible for reward.  The teams are fairly evenly matched, with Penner’s team having a slight edge in my opinion, but Penner takes no chances.  He loses time on his leg to search around in the mud for all 4 bags and bring them to the surface, thus saving time in the long run.  It’s a good strategy, and helps his team to an admittedly quite narrow victory given the circumstances.

Penner’s team goes on reward, and as always they enjoy the food and hobnobbing with the locals, which at least one person must say is a “life changing experience”.  Malcolm is this year’s winner in that department, at least.  Not one to let a good situation go to waste, however, Penner takes time out to strategize with his fellow reward members, correctly pointing out that they’re on the bottom, and ought to stick together.  The consensus is that Lisa and Skupin are the way to go, and things seem set up for a flip from Lisa.

Oddly enough, Tandang seems to agree with the plan, as they’re doing all that they can to convince Lisa to betray them.  Well, at least Abi-Maria seems to be.  Pete says that he hoped that this would be a bonding time for Tandang, a reaffirmation of their alliance, and return to the fold for those on the outside.  Continually, Pete forgets that he’s aligned with Abi-Maria, who proceeds to badmouth Lisa for her perceived “gullibility”.  Even Artis admits this is a bad idea, and when ARTIS thinks what you’re doing is insane, you know there’s trouble.  What makes it even worse is that Lisa HERSELF, the person most likely to flip, wanted to go along with Pete and co., was perfectly willing to follow along with the plan, and you go and alienate her for no reason!  I’ve run out of metaphors for stupidity at this point, just make one up.

Heading back to camp after commercial, we’re greeted with the return of the effective “Kalabaw 4” from reward, and as you’d expect, they’re greeted…  oh, wait, I guess nothing happened at camp, as it’s CHALLENGE TIME (boy that came fast)!  And the immunity challenge is nothing short of sadistic.  Castaways roll balls down a long paddle, trying to get them into one of 6 notches carved into the paddle.  The first to have all 6 balls sitting on the paddle wins.  Dear Lord, this challenge is difficult.  First of all, it not only requires balance, but also coordination with balance, something very rare, and almost never practiced.  Furthermore, those notches aren’t big, they just barely fit each ball, so while the first ball might not be too bad, it’s downright Herculean to get the other 5 in there without dislodging another ball (as Pete so aptly demonstrated).  It’s like a challenge off of Wii Fit, if Wii Fit had a cruel streak.

In an ironic twist, the man who left the game because of his hands is now kept in the game because of them.  Skupin wins, which would normally be Penner’s death knell, but he’s not one to just roll over and die.  He continues his work on Lisa, taking a slightly different emotional tack this time, one that I’m sure has come up in many a strategy discussion, but has never been shown so blatantly on screen.

Penner asks her how she wants to be perceived in editing.

I’ve always said that these people realize that they’re on a tv show to some degree, no matter how long they stay on, and are, to some degree, thinking about how they’d like to be shown.  I think that, of late, it’s what has led people to avoiding a lot of good strategic moves, as they don’t want to look like scum to the national public.  It also makes sense that the producers don’t want this sort of discussion shown, as it ruins some of the illusion of “reality” on the show, and can blatantly reveal what the editors are trying to do in some cases.  Still, I doubt Penner’s argument is original, but it is a good one.  He tells Lisa that however things turn out, she’ll be perceived as a likeable, loyal underdog, but that the public will dislike her for keeping the “evil” threesome of Artis, Abi-Maria, and Pete in the game.

What’s scary is the man’s ability to predict the public.  That’s pretty much exactly the fan reaction to Lisa.

Meanwhile, the rest of Penner’s alliance (in what I first thought was a conspiracy to turn on him) decided to shift the vote to Artis, as he’s unlikely to play Abi-Maria’s immunity idol.  A bit of unnecessary strategizing, given the confidence of the alliance, but certainly sound reasoning, and any one of the threesome is better than one of the Kalabaw 4.

Penner’s taking no chances, though, and also works the immunity-given Skupin to try and vote off Artis.  Penner works a bit more blatantly, offering Skupin a full-on alliance.  Skupin likes what he hears, but won’t move against Lisa.  So, after some discussion in the water, it’s off to Tribal Council, where Abi-Maria once again digs her own passive-aggressive grave.  And from here on out you know the story.  Like I said, I thought for sure Penner was gone (very glad that he’s not, though), and I even had my “MORONS” megaphone ready to chastise the editors for slipping up on misdirection, when, in fact, it was one of the best bits of misdirection EVER in my opinion.

So, where does this leave us?  With a big question mark, that’s where.  Skupin, despite his interviews, moved against Lisa, and voted with the Kalabaw 4, apparently for good.  This leads to one of two conclusions.  Either Skupin has freed himself of Lisa (which I find unlikely) or Lisa told him to vote against Artis, allowing her to look like a good guy, but still eliminate Artis.  A shrewd move on Lisa’s part, if that’s the case, but not a smart one.  She moves from a solid 5 where she’s guaranteed victory at the end to a not solid 6 where likeability is pretty much even.

Still, this could lead to a short Pagonging of the old Tandang loyalists, which could make the next few episodes boring.  Given the drama that Abi-Maria’s existence causes, though, I kind of doubt it.

What I don’t doubt is that tonight’s episode merited another:

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

The theme, as you might guess, is blindsides, and for once, I’m going purely subjective, my own opinions (primarily based on predictability) of what the best blindsides are.  I may do a more objective list at some point, to talk about the blindsides that had the most impact on the game, but that’s not this list.  Also, as there’s no such thing as a “bad” blindside in my objective opinion, I’ll be using it to list the top 5 missed opportunities for blindsides.  One note of clarification on this: the name I list for the bottom 5 is the person who ACTUALLY got voted off, not the person who should have been blindsided.  Now then, on to the list.

Top 5

5. Deena Bennett (“Survivor The Amazon”): Where better to start than with a blindside by the king of blindsides, Rob Cesternino.  While Rob had already perfected this with the boot of the aptly-named Roger Sexton, Deena’s was in my opinion the most unexpected, as well as Rob’s biggest power play.  It gains the lowest slot I can give only because the editing made it seem like it was coming, so a bit of predictability.  Overall, though, an exciting boot for an exciting episode.

4. Artis Silvester (“Survivor Philippines”): So what if it might be the afterglow of Penner’s continued tenure in the game, my list, my choice!  Admittedly, I did put this one down low because I’m not sure how I’ll feel about this blindside compared to others come tomorrow, but at the moment, they pulled the wool over my eyes, made an exciting episode, and earned the #4 slot.

3. John Carroll (“Survivor Marquesas”): It’s not so much that you thought John Carroll would never be voted off.  He was in a leadership position (always precarious), a physical threat, and somewhat cocky.  No, this one you just thought the alliance for it would never come together.  Neleh and Paschal were too far ensconced in the Rotu 4 alliance to dare flip, especially with loose cannon Sean, and yet they did, making for the first “bottom of the totem pole” shake-up in “Survivor” history, and one hell of a blindside.

2. Leann Slaby (“Survivor Vanuatu”): I know I said that overall impact on the game wouldn’t be considered, but this is the exception.  This is the vote that saved Chris’ game and won him a million dollars.  I justify this bending of the rules by pointing out that I did not expect Chris to pull off any sort of a win, given how many women were left, so I’d call it an unexpected and fun blindside.

1. Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”): A fun and deserved blindside.  Never.  I never thought someone would be du enough to give up immunity to a majority alliance.  You proved me wrong, good sir.  Thanks for making the end of the season entertaining!

Honorable Mention: Gretchen Cordy (“Survivor Borneo”): I’ve mentioned before that I watched the seasons out of order, so “Survivor Borneo” was not my first and consequently lost a lot of it’s impact for me.  Still, a lot has to be said for the first real “blindside” of “Survivor”, ever.  You could argue, I suppose, that Stacey or Joel were technically first, but in both cases, you kind of saw it coming.  Gretchen was the first real surprise, and it caused a storm of controversy when it aired.  It must at least be acknowledged, even if it didn’t surprise me.

 

Bottom 5

5. Jenna Lewis (“Survivor Borneo”): Sticking to the land of Borneo, we have our first missed opportunity.  While there was never really a chance to overtake the Tagi alliance from this season, as Pagong was just too disorganized, they did have a shot with their “Barbeque Alliance”.  The Tagi alliance was fragmenting (with Kelly Wiglesworth defecting for a vote), and newly united Pagong front.  That is until Sean Kenniff got moral, voted for Jenna, and in doing so sealed the rest of the Pagong’s fate.

4. Stephenie LaGrossa (“Survivor Palau”): Again, given the amount Tom Westman and Ian Rosenberger won immunity, this was a very slim chance, but deserves mentioning.  The women couldn’t compete on any level with either alpha male, the only way they could WIN in the end was a woman’s alliance.  However, it broke up because, according to Katie “Caryn sucks”.  Mature Katie.  Real mature.  No wonder you lost.

3. Kelly Goldsmith (“Survivor Africa”): Much like Pagong, the Samburu tribe was at a disadvantage, ready to be picked off come the merge.  Unlike Pagong, however, Samburu was much more prepared strategically, and it helped that the old Boran had a few cracks in it.  And while this vote did end up going for a Boran member, it permanently splintered the Samburu, leading to their destruction and a missed opportunity for power.

2. Alicia Calaway (“Survivor The Australian Outback”): While Alicia originally hails from the outback, this goes out her boot in “Survivor All-Stars”.  Once it became clear that a Pagonging of Mogo Mogo would not go smoothly due to Shii-Ann Huang’s winning immunity, people should have ganged up on Boston Rob.  Although he didn’t win, he was the guy to beat, and yet no one made a move to better themselves.  Shii-Ann put it best by calling them “Stupid, stupid people.”

1. Amanda Kimmel (“Survivor China”): This goes for the one time she was actually voted out, in “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”.  DAMMIT, CANDICE, YOU COULD HAVE GOT RID OF RUSSELL FUCKING HANTZ, PUT YOURSELF IN A POWER POSITION, AND YET YOU DIDN’T!  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?

Honorable Mention: Mike Chiesl (“Survivor Redemption Island”): More of a placeholder for any vote post-merge this season.  Ometepe, like on “Survivor All-Stars” just couldn’t bring themselves to vote off their biggest competition, and payed a rightful price.  They’re not on the list proper only because I can’t think of a specific vote that could have changed the game.  For all my criticisms, Boston Rob did keep a good, tight grip on the tribe that season.

Well, that’s it and I’m bushed.  Looking forward to the next episode!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: The Amazon

Well, after the veritable disaster that was “Survivor Thailand” (and arguably the one-two punch with “Survivor Marquesas”) “Survivor” was in desperate need with a hit season, and it received one by going to The Amazon.  In fact, most “Survivor” fans and critics will praise the season, constantly putting it high on rankings of the seasons.  But does it really live up to all the hype?  Let’s find out.

Before we begin, however, it is time for my customary reminder that this blog will contain spoilers.  Anyone wishing for a vague opinion on the watchability of the season should scroll down to the bottom of the page, where I will have an “Abstract” section that will give my general opinion sans spoilers.  Now, on to the review!

CAST

In going back and analyzing the reaction of the public to certain seasons, I notice that the quality of the cast for that season is often what makes or breaks a season.  The Amazon certainly fits that pattern, as most people praise its cast above all else.  One of the most talked about is Christy Smith, and this is not without reason.  She has the distinction of being the first reality show contestant with a disability, being completely deaf in one ear, and partially deaf in another.  As such, she had to get by on a combination of lip-reading and a hearing aid (and even then, she still had difficulty, needing an interpreter for post-game interviews).  This, of course, is a major social disadvantage for her (hard to form relationships when there’s communication problems), and she was also the “moral” person of the season.  Although she wasn’t opposed to forming alliances per se, she was more concerned with ethics than the other castaways, and did try to avoid creating alliances.  These factors would indicate a short game time, but Christy lasted until the final 6, hardly a bad showing.  This underdog story made people root for her, made her a likeable character, and I have to admit, it’s deserved.  Rewatching the season, you still pull for Christy, and find her struggle engaging.  Sadly, although Christy has been invited back for various seasons (she, and not Parvati, was supposed to show up on “Survivor Micronesia”), she has declined for undisclosed reasons, and it’s rather unfortunate.  Less remembered, but equally interesting was Deena Bennett, the Deputy District Attorney of Riverside, CA, and all around strong woman.  She was strong, strategic, and cunning as all get out.  Perhaps a little too cunning, as her excessive scheming arguably led to an earlier exit than was necesarry.  Still, she was something different from the usual type of woman you’d see on “Survivor”, and it was a refreshing change.  In case it wasn’t obvious, I like Deena, and I wish she’d come back a little more.  Others who people like more, but I like less, are Jenna Morasca and her cohort, Heidi Strobel, the self described “Amazon Chicks”.  They practically personify everything I dislike in “Survivor” women.  They were young, vain, almost Narcissan, and thought their strategic minds were great, when they were, at best, average.  The pair were also emotional and annoying, ragging on the older contestants because they didn’t look as good.  So why is this pair remembered so fondly?  Because they stripped for chocolate and peanut butter during a challenge (an x-rated version of which, incidentally, can be found fairly easily on the internet, if you’re willing to pay), and that really makes all the difference.  Jenna is doubly remembered for winning, but I don’t like it.  True she did show some strategy, much more so than her opponant, but she was also the more annoying of the two, and less strategic in my opinion.  Also, she got her win partly by getting immunity at the right time, which I have little respect for.  Her less-strategic opponant was the (at the time) infamous Matthew Von Ertfelda, the D.C. restauranteer best known for being the first “crazy” castaway.  The infamous scene in whiche sharpens a machete repeatedly over dramatic music ensured that he’d be cemented in our minds, but beyond that, I think he’s actually an interesting character.  He started out completely naive to the game, rather another moral guardian alongside Christy, but with some tutelage, he actually got better, going so far as to throw challenges to seem like less of a threat, something he would not have thought of at the beginning of the game.  He’s a bit like Kathy (“Survivor Marquesas”), just less extreme, but like with Marquesas, I enjoy this sort of development.  Sadly, the public did not agree with me, and Matthew was branded the crazy man, whos fame faded with crazier castaways (by which I mean Shane Powers of “Survivor Exile Island”).  The only other castaway of note is Roger Sexton, who’s last name says it all.  A chauvinist to a huge degree (which was only exacerbated by this season’s twist, which I will, of course, go over in the “twist” section), he’s known mostly for his sexist comments, and a deserved comeuppance right after the merge.  He, like most everyone I’ve mentioned so far, doesn’t get much play time anymore.

So, thus far I have all these characters who, while interesting in their own right, are sort of forgotten over time.  If that’s so, then why is this season’s cast praised?  Why, because of the machinations of one man: Rob Cesternino.  Arguably the first armchair “Survivor” expert, to say that he changed the game is an understatement.  Before The Amazon, to flip was a death sentence.  It might get you a bit farther, but you were doubtless on the bottom of your alliance, and often you left earlier because you were no longer trustworthy.  Brandon Quinton of “Survivor Africa” is a prime example of this.  Rob, however, flipped time and time again, yet still gained the trust of people (even when they shouldn’t have).  Moreover, the audience liked him, despite hating strategic players on the whole beforehand, mostly due to his lame attempts at comedy and his goofy-boy persona he cast throughout the game.  He was also an underdog, so people had reason to root for him.  Ever since Cesternino, every “Survivor” player worth their salt has considered other options, and flipping has become acceptable in “Survivor” lexicon.  For all that very few of the contestants mentioned above get no play, Rob does.  It’s often debated whether or not he’s the smartest player ever, and while I do say “no” to that, I will say that he’s an enjoyable character, and deserves the praise he gets.

The Amazon would not have a strong cast if it was Rob alone, but a decent supporting cast combines with Rob to form one of the better casts of the seasons.

Score: 8 out of 10

CHALLENGES

Talking about the challenges is going to be harder than talking about the cast, simply because there’s less to be said about them.  I can hardly say the challenges this season weren’t fun, exciting, and fair, but I can say that they aren’t that memorable overall.  Again, we get a lot of “Survivor” staples (the blindfolded challenge comes to mind), and a couple of really good original challenges (the “feeding frenzy” challenge comes to mind), but they’re just not that memorable.  Part of it is the location.  Ok, so it’s better than “Generic South Pacific Island”, but the Amazonian culture is not all that distinctive, and lent itself to very few of the challenges.  The challenges were also hurt by the major twist of this season, I feel, though I’ll discuss why in the “Overall” section.  I’ll also say that I feel that the challenges pre-merge were good on the whole, but post merge, they just seemed scaled down and weak.  For instance, the first reward challenge post-merge was to collect flags in a mud pit while attatched to a bungee cord.  Challenging, but not anything on a grand scale.  Another reward challenge was just a weapons proficiency contest, the most generic of “Survivor” Challenges.  Still, I won’t deny the toughness of the challenges, and that the group at least tried to make them less generic than usual.

Score: 7 out of 10

TWISTS

Aside from the cast, the twists are what make this season in people’s eyes, and it’s easy to see why.  Much like Thailand, we got our first twist right from the get-go: the tribes were divided by gender.  We’d been teased with the idea before, and it was obviously only a matter of time before “Survivor” tried this gimmick.  Fortunately, it worked out well.  It provided some good drama, and it changed things up a fair deal.  It did, unfortunately, play into a few stereotypes, meaning that the genders can be summed up like this: “Men are horny losers who think with their crotch, while all women are master manipulators who use sex as a weapon.”  And there you go, my entire review of The Amazon in a nutshell.

Beyond this first twist, which, as I’ve said was successful, our next twist came in episode 5, with the changing of the tribes.  This was done in a unique way, calling the two youngest members of the tribes (Jenna for the women and Dave Johnson for the men).  The pair were sent to a small bungalow in the jungle, where they spent the night (sharing a bed, mind you).  In the morning, the pair were asked to designate new tribes.  Again, I like this twist.  It’s not immediately obvious that a tribe swap is coming, it allows one person to do all the picking instead of just one person, and for once it lets the youngest pick, rather than the oldest, which “Survivor” is fond of.  One other minor twist to mention is that, for the merge, the tribes moved to a new beach, rather than keep their old one.  This had been done before on “Survivor The Australian Outback”, and I apologize for not mentioning it there.  This twist doesn’t impact things much, save forcing the building of a new shelter and making Roger look like even more of an ass through his division of labor.

After the merge came a series of rapid-fire twists that the season is known for, and all instigated by Rob Cesternino.  The man’s flip flopping made the week’s boot unpredictable, and changed up the game on a weekly basis.  Three people in a row: Deena, Alex Bell, and Christy, were all blindsided by Rob.  This is exciting in and of itself, but the fact that it hadn’t been seen before only added to the intrigue.  Admittedly, it seems like a fairly normal occurrence nowadays, given the way the game has evolved, but it’s still interesting to watch.  Somewhere in here, we also have a reward twist.  Having won a visit from his loved one, Matthew gave the reward away so that everyone else could see their loved ones.  As a reward, Matthew got an evening with dinner in the company of his mother.  It didn’t impact the game much, but it was an alright twist that is worth noting

Our final twist is one that I can’t fully discuss here, as it concerns overall themes of the season, and therefore belongs in the “Overall” section.  Suffice to say that what was at the time the biggest loss at final tribal (Matthew received only one vote, Jenna the other 6) constitutes a twist in my book.  So, it seems on the whole that I should give this category a “10”, since there was a variety of twists, none of which went awry.  However, I will deduct a point because, particularly after the initial twist, there was a lackluster point in twists, and things didn’t pick up until the merge.  Still, can’t discount what happened post-merge, so a good job on the whole.

Score: 9 out of 10

OVERALL

You would think, given that The Amazon didn’t have a very distinctive culture, that I’d mark this section very low.  However, a lot of elements combined to make the overall effect of the season much better than it otherwise might have been.  The cast was a big element.  It was one of the most likeable casts after Borneo, with a good mix of lifestyles and game styles, but I’ll go into part of what separates this cast in a bit.  For the moment, I’ll talk about how a twist actually made the theme of this game.  I’ve mentioned that The Amazon didn’t have a distinct cultural theme.  Well, to make up for this, the producers made the “Battle of the Sexes” a theme, and it came off rather well.  It got people excited for the season (particularly laughing at how asinine the men could be), and led to some interesting commentary, again, particularly from the men lusting after the girls.  Unfortunately, this was also something of a detriment in the challenges.  You see, if you have a battle of the sexes, you have to make challenges fair for both sexes.  This generally means a good mix of challenge elements, but also means that challenges tend to be smaller, more specialized activities than grand scale challenges that we’re used to.  This is what I meant by the twist being a detriment to the challenges: they had to be smaller to be fair.

However, despite a good mix of cast and twists, what I think really holds this season together is the overall feeling of the cast.  Up until this point, while you might get some primarilly cerebral people on “Survivor”, you still mostly got meatheads and survivalists, people who cared more about your physical ability than how well you played the game.  In short, strategists were more of a rarity in the early days.  This, however, was the first season that not only respected strategizing, but had a cast who nearly all went in for it.  This shift in the balance of priorities can be most easily seen in the final tribal council.  In a sense, it came down to brain versus brawn.  Matthew, the survivalist who came in with 0 knowledge of the game, against Jenna, the self-styled strategist. Before (and arguably since), you would mostly see the brawn win out, as they were more liked and respected, and hadn’t stepped on any toes.  However, the jury awarded the money to Jenna, the person who schemed and plotted against them!  This was very new at the time, and still something of a rarity today, and it’s a lot of what makes people like this season a lot.

Score: 34 out of 40

ABSTRACT

The Amazon is a great season, on the whole.  The challenges lack somewhat, but the “Battle of the Sexes” theme provides a lot of great moments.  This season has a lot of great strategy, a lot of great characters, and this is why I can give it a very high recommendation.  WATCH THIS SEASON, if you can!

Idol Speculation: “Survivor One World” Episode 3: Les Miserables

Apparantly the “Survivor” Gods do not want me to be able to pick a winner. Admittedly, this is better than last season, where one of my picks went out in episode 2, but it’s still pretty pathetic. My only defense is that I was desperate to find ANY guy I thought could win it, and I was grasping at straws.

Welcome back to Idol Speculation, this time with a rather more positive blog, at least in the later half. In the first half, we get a general bashing of the entire cast. In fact, it doesn’t even begin at the start of the show, it begins with the “Previously on…” segment. I don’t normally address this, as it’s mostly reminding us of gameplay we already saw, but it bears mentioning this time. Specifically, the narration tells us how the guys have been dominating, and the girls need to get their act together. I’m sure this in no way means that the girls are going to dominate this episode, and that the guys will get their comeuppance. The guys will continue to dominate, make no mistake about it.

Following this narration, we get the usual humdrum comments that happen post-Tribal, where the losing tribe tries to talk itself back into being positive. Chelsea is particularly vocal on this point, asserting that “We need a more positive attitude if we’re going to win this.” I, meanwhile, start taking bets on how long it will be before Chelsea breaks down and does the very thing she says they don’t need.

We do get one interesting tidbit, though. Colton and Jonas, ever the envoys to Salani, come over and offer to let the girls stand around their fire, due to the impending storm. A good gesture, on the whole. It’s something that can be shared without giving the girls a huge advantage (they do have to go back to their own camp at some point), and breeds goodwill. The women, for their part, also play the situation very well, politely declining to show that they are not entirely reliant on the guys tribe, which could very easily be seen as a sign of weakness.

Coming back from the NOT intro, we see that the storm has indeed gotten worse, and the girls are miserable, as they do not have a tarp. Chelsea is the most vocal of the group, complaining about how miserable she is. Anybody who said “5 minutes” before she broke down, Congratulations!

Now in fairness, I do have to admit that it seemed like a pretty ferocious storm, even by “Survivor” standards. It’s nowhere near the caliber of, say, the three-episode storm of “Survivor Samoa”, or Noah’s flood in “Survivor Tocantins”, but it’s still pretty bad, and the contestants do have a right to complain.

Thankfully, the girls are not too proud to take the guys up on their offer to stand around the fire, and the guys seem to take it in good graces. Well, nearly all of them do. Matt complains to the cameras that there’s not enough room around the fire to accommodate both the men and the women, and here I do have to admit that I underestimated his chauvinism. Fortunately, he seems to be pretty good at hiding it in the company of others, only complaining about it to the cameras, so he could be a lot worse (think Roger Sexton of “Survivor The Amazon”.)

We come to the reward challenge (“reward challenge”! How sweet those words sound in the tribal phase!) where we’re treated to a simple memory contest. These are ok challenges, but I’m not a huge fan of them overall. Memory challenges are fairly one-dimensional, and I think that on the whole, they’re not that challenging. Then again, I have a fairly good memory, so maybe it’s just me. Thankfully, this challenge is saved for two reasons. First is the “Dropping of the curtain” twist. I like this, as it adds a layer of strategy to the proceedings. Do you drop it early to mess up your opponent, and risk messing it up yourself, or do you leave it open to ensure a good look, but also give your opponent a good look? The second thing is the hilarity that ensues when Troyzan and Kat fail repeatedly at memorizing an 8-piece combination. I will give the “Survivor” editors their due, that scene would not have been half as funny if it was edited differently, or if the music was changed. Also, this is a challenge that does not favor either sex, so I can see why they used it.

On the subject of the fairness of the challenge, I do have to question the decision to sit out Leif for this challenge. Really? While there was some running involved, it seems to me that it wouldn’t have been that big of an issue, and for my money, I’d avoid sitting him out whenever I could, so as to ensure the ability to sit him out at challenges where he might be a liability.

In the end we don’t know because the women ultimately school the men in the challenge and win fishing gear. Good for them.

What, not everything has to be analyzed deeply! Sometime’s it’s just a good thing to win a challenge and boost morale.

While challenge victory does lead to a temporary high for the women, it quickly becomes waterlogged, along with Chelsea’s hands. Determined not to be reliant on the men, the women attempt to use magnesium flint to start a fire. Unfortunately, waterlogged coconuts don’t burn very well, and the women quickly cave and go ask the men for some embers for the fire. The men, however, have begun to realize that they’re being played. Think about it, the women have been asking for a lot from the men, ultimately getting it, and what have the women given in return? Fronds, apparently, and even then I didn’t actually see the exchange. I can’t help but feel that the men are getting the raw end of the deal.

Even the men seem to think this is wrong, and ask the women for something in return, specifically the right to use the fishing boat some of the time. The women are a bit reluctant, however, and ultimately President Alicia rejects the deal, on the grounds that the men’s deals aren’t fair. Really, Alicia? The men have GIVEN you most anything, and all they asked in return was a few palm fronds, in exchange for FIRE, something vital to your survival! Sure, the men’s deals aren’t fair, they benefit you too much! In fact, even this deal is disadvantageous for them! They’re giving you fire, again, an essential tool for life on the island, and all they want is some time in your boat. They’re not asking for the spear or the fishing gear, they’re not even asking for the boat full time, they just want to share it, and you can’t even do that? I’m so annoyed, I can’t even come up with a good metaphor for the situation.

I’m not alone in my contempt, even diplomat Jonas breaks his calm demeanor to tell the women off. This leads to another crying scene from Chelsea. Now, I’m not saying the situation doesn’t suck, but the hypocrisy of it all just astounds me.

Challenge time! I have to say, looking behind the scenes, this is one of the dumbest challenge names ever. Now, I know that the Dream Team is given to naming challenges after cultural references, and including bad puns. The first challenge of “Survivor Tocantins”, for instance, was called “A River. Run through it.” But I have to warn you, this pun is so bad, with so little effort put into it, that it has been known to hospitalize people. For your spectacle, here is the name of the challenge:

“Ow Pairs“.

Assuming my audience has not gone into cardiac arrest, I will go on to add that this is an all right challenge. It’s blindfolds, which are always a “Survivor” treat, had some fairly interesting obstacles, and what I thought was a fairly clever puzzle at the end. Admittedly, the tension is defused by the certain knowledge that the men will lose, and the fact that there were very few collisions this time around, but at least we have Sabrina being unable to direct Monica and Christina to a barrel.

This leads the men to a very significant lead, leaving Bill, the caller, to solve the puzzle. Not surprisingly, he takes his time, as panicking can truly flummox a puzzle solver. In fact he has the puzzle nearly half done when the women finally get their act together. Now I have to admit, I really thought the men had this. Unless Sabrina was a MENSA candidate, I doubted she could overcome that lead. However, I believe she was smart, and did exactly what I would have done, which is to realize that, for fairness, the puzzles must be exactly the same, and therefore, she can see what the other team has already got, and put that in herself, effectively catching up. It also helped that the women offered suggestions, while it looked like the men were leaving Bill in the cold. In the end, my first instinct was right and the men lost, but it was a very close race, and I did buy into the misdirection that the men actually won, so points there for the episode.

We get back to camp to see the women celebrate. Thankfully, this is short lived for the more interesting strategizing going on at Manono. The general consensus of the editing of the misfit five (being Colton, TarZAN, Leif, Troyzan, and Jonas) is that they want Matt gone this episode. However, tonight the role of Javert will be played by Colton, who will not rest until he gets his quarry. His quarry, in this case, is Bill. Why? Because he lost the challenge after the huge lead Manono had. I follow you, Colton, but I do have one question: WHO GAVE YOU THAT LEAD IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Certainly not the blindfolded guys, and certainly not you. Bill hardly performed badly in that challenge, the women just used him as a springboard to vault ahead, and even then I would point out that Bill was still ahead until the very last piece. The only thing I see that Bill himself did wrong was to continually glance over at the opponent. I understand the temptation, and it’s done in many a Survivor, but it eats away precious seconds.

Oh, wait, Colton also wants him gone because of his personality, seeing him as fake and annoying, judging him without really getting to know him. Gee, that sounds familiar, I wonder where I’ve heard that before… Wait, it’s coming to me! Yes, I do believe it was EXACTLY the same thing you accused your tribe of doing to you last episode! Only now that you’re in the driver’s seat, it’s ok! Instead of “Survivor Colton’s World”, this season should be named “Survivor Hypocrisy”. No, wait, Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) would need to be here for that.

Ok, ok, I said I was going to be positive in the latter half, and I will be. The strategizing amongst the misfit five was very well done, with both sides making good logical arguments. Props also have to be given to Jay, who, when asked to join the misfit five, does not waffle, but immediately agrees to the plan. I have to admit, I took him for a country bumpkin, to use the colloquial term, but that’s some decent strategy there. I do have to point out, however, that it wouldn’t have mattered as much if TarZAN hadn’t blabbed almost immediately. Manono has its Joe Biden, and I suspect it won’t be the last time he puts his foot in his mouth.

Five seconds later, I am proven correct when Matt walks over and TarZAN again admits to strategizing, though he assures Matt that he is safe for the moment. Admittedly, it doesn’t take much to figure out that the misfit 5 were strategizing, but TarZAN isn’t helping matters.

Matt is not one to lay down and die, however, and petitions Troyzan, in whom he thinks he has an ally, to save his butt, not realizing that his forced farming metaphors only drive Troyzan away, and make Troyzan push even harder for Matt to be voted out.

At Tribal, Colton reiterates what his every confessional has been about; that he’s better off with the women. This is such bad strategy, even Probst can’t believe it, and that takes a lot, given what Probst has seen (remember Billy’s declaration of love on “Survivor Cook Islands”?) After this, we mostly get talk to the effect that the tribe is fractured in a 5-4 split, in other words, stating the obvious. We do get one funny bit, however, when Greg talks about how Matt’s words break his heart, only to proceed to put his hand on the WRONG side of his chest. The SURGEON doesn’t know what side of the body the human heart is on. Remind me not to go to him for surgery.

The final bit before voting is Bill saying how exciting it’s been to be here, and how he won’t be too surprised if he leaves tonight. I have to admit, the misdirection got me again. Although Matt had a lot more screen time than Bill, Bill still had a fair amount, and Colton seemed bound and determined. That plus his speech right before the votes made me think Bill was DOA.  Ultimately, Matt left, and I can’t say I’m too sorry. He was a bit of a chauvinist, and he dug his own grave by making a 4-person alliance in a 9-person tribe. Did I mention that he was cocky? Plus, I just like Bill too damn much to want to see him go. Although he does seem on thin ice, I’m hoping next week gives us a shake up of the men’s alliance, and perhaps some heretofore unsuspected mental prowess from Bill. To be fair, he still didn’t do half bad on that puzzle.

Another I’m liking more and more is Jonas. The dude’s really holding his own, much better than I expected, and seems to be amongst the most liked and diplomatic of the group, major assets if he gets to the end.

One last thought on Tribal: For all that I bashed TarZAN in this episode, I did love his asking Probst to read the rest of the votes. It takes guts to stand up to the host so blatantly, so props to him, it was very entertaining.

So, the episode as a whole? Well, I have to say it was pretty good. The challenges were standard, but not terrible, the women finally got some glory, and the misdirection was well put together. Frankly, the only reason I don’t totally like this episode is that Bill was so close to going, but again, that’s more of my emotional side leaking into this blog. Objectively, this was a very solid, entertaining episode.

Next weeks promises a bloodbath. Let’s see if it delivers.

-Matt

Title credit to Jean Storrs.