Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Cast Assessment

Well, here we are! The official cast photos have been released, biographies are now up on the official website, we’ve got a new preview video… And yet we STILL don’t know the tribe names? What the heck, CBS? We can SEE who’s on what tribe in your videos. Make it easy on us and just break down the division. It would sure make my life easier.

Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to. Somewhat less knee-jerk this time around since we’ve had a pretty good idea of who’s going to be on this cast for some time now, but here we are nonetheless. Time for me to talk about which winners I think have the skills to pay the bills, and the ones I think will wish they’d sat this season out. Since this is an all-returnee season, though, there’s a couple of bits of business to get out of the way. First off, the biographical information is going to be somewhat limited this time, basically just being the contestants name, season they won (it would take too long to list every season, and pointless to write “winner” over and over again), and which tribe they’re on. This is partly because I’m assuming some familiarity with these people from the readers of this blog, but also because, on a returnee season, these factors don’t matter as much in my opinion. With an all-newbie season, the writings are pretty much all we’ve got to go on. Here, however, we’ve SEEN these people play before, so things like their occupation and pet peeves don’t matter as much. Now, I have read the cast bios, and will occasionally bring them up, but most of my assessment will be based on how they played before/the dynamics endemic to a returnee season in this day and age. Since Edge of Extinction is regrettably back, I should explain that I’ll be keeping my ratings for how people do the same nonetheless. If I think someone can win their way back into the game, I will reflect this, but unless you win your way back in, or someone quits before you, when you were voted out is when you were voted out. Sitting on an island making friends we don’t get to see doesn’t count. As per usual with a returnee season, I’ll be mentioning when I think a player doesn’t fit, or I think someone else would have been better, and listing my preferred replacement beneath. And finally, on a lighter note, I’ll be calling these tribes “Red” and “Blue”, since again, CBS hasn’t given us their names for some stupid reason. Now, on to the assessment, in chronological order by first win!

Ethan Zohn (“Survivor Africa”, Blue Tribe): With Ethan, we have what I believe to be an “Idol Speculation” first: My favorite player of the season is the first one we talk about. “Survivor Africa” has always been one of my personal favorite seasons (it would probably make my top 5 if I didn’t have the nostalgia goggles on for “Survivor Guatemala”), and while I’m not going to sit here and say that Ethan is the greatest character to come out of the season, he’s still a lot of fun. A distinctive look, a good story, and just generally a nice guy. I could go on and on about just how likable Ethan is, but frankly, I think T-Bird said it best: “What can you say that’s bad about Ethan? Nuthin’!” This still holds true today. Plus, it’s intriguing to me to see how someone from such a different era of “Survivor” plays in the modern day, as Ethan now ties with another player on this season for longest gap between returns at 16 years. Even to this day, Ethan is one of the top social games ever played, and we’ve seen with the recent victories of Tommy Sheehan (“Survivor Island of the Idols”) and Wendell Holland (“Survivor Ghost Island”) that this style of gameplay is still very dangerous, and can realistically net someone a win. So, Ethan is my male pick to win the whole thing right? Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…Nnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooo. Much as I love Ethan, and hope that I’m wrong in my assessment, I peg him as a pre-merge boot on this season. There’s two different, but related, factors to why I don’t see Ethan having a long shelf-life in this game. Ethan’s style of gameplay definitely still holds up, but he’s also been very vocal online about how “easy” the game is these days, and when he has talked about coming back, it’s to “show people how it’s done.” Much as I praise Ethan’s overall gameplay, I don’t give anyone good odds to win twice if they don’t change SOMETHING up about their game (some might say Sandra’s the counterargument to this, but I’d argue that she upped the intensity of her scheming on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, creating a distinct game from her first win). If Ethan’s not willing to adapt at least a little, he’s in trouble. His other issue is, well, the attitude I just mentioned. Recent players especially are not going to take their game being belittled like this well at all, and I could see that running counter to Ethan’s natural charm. I hope Ethan’s got enough good sense to keep that attitude in check, but as it stands, I just think the elitist attitude is going to come through, and lead to an early exit for Ethan. To end on a positive note, I will say that I enjoyed his answer as to how long he’s been watching “Survivor”. “…since Richard Hatch first took advantage of CBS’ ability to pixelate a moving image.” There’s the fun and charming Ethan we know!

Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”, Red Tribe): The Queen herself! Of course, a season tackling legends such as these would be incomplete without the only two-time winner in the history of the show. Naturally, between this, her snark, and her ability to sabotage people without getting caught, I am thrilled to have Sandra back again. It’s only right and fair on a season like this. That said, I’m fairly certain this will be Sandra’s worst outing yet in terms of placement. Even on a season made up of pretty much nothing but big targets, she still stands out, with only Boston Rob and Amber (as a pair) possibly eclipsing her threat level. She’s in a similar position to Richard Hatch on “Survivor All-Stars”. Everyone wants to dethrone the queen. Sandra is wily enough that I don’t see her being the VERY first boot, but again, expect her to go pre-merge. She doesn’t work well as a shield, and no one wants to risk her getting far. Recipe for disaster on a season such as this.

Amber Mariano (“Survivor All-Stars”): Jumping ahead a bit to touch on my overall thoughts, I’m quite happy with this cast in general, and the women they chose in particular. This cast as a whole is actually my least-objectionable returnee cast since I’ve been blogging, beating out the previous record holder, “Survivor Cambodia”, with only three choices I disagree with to “Cambodia’s” four. And again, the women are overall much less objectionable than the men, in my opinion. Amber is the exception. Who in their right mind thought it was a brilliant idea to bring Amber back? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she’s a lovely person, but on screen, she’s just BORING! Basically no flavor to her personality, and just there to be generically “nice”. It would be one thing if she was coming back on her own, but I have to say it was a dick move by the producers to bring her back with Boston Rob, since it torpedoes any chance she has of winning this thing. Rob would have a target on his own, but Amber, on her own, might fly under the radar on a season like this, and do quite well. But while Rob is a threat individually, he and Amber combined are probably the biggest threat around. We might have players who played together before, but there’s a difference between being allies and being MARRIED! They’ve basically got the downside of being a couple on a “Blood vs. Water” season, when everyone else is single, and thus, one of them is going out early. Most other analysis I’ve seen says Boston Rob will be the early target, but I personally think Amber is going to be the initial target. Boston Rob may be a threat, but he’s good as a shield, good at camp life, and good at challenges, for his age. There’s reasons to keep him around. Amber? There’s no real reason to keep her, and with Boston Rob around, there’s a reason to get rid of her: Her exit weakens Boston Rob’s game. As such, Amber will be the first boot out of this season. Unless the tribe REALLY wants to get rid of the biggest threats early (and as I’ll discuss at the end, I don’t see that happening this season), Amber brings the least to the tribe, and gains a lot for the tribe by being gone. Such a shame, too, as we could have had someone a lot more intriguing this time around. Someone like…

Vecepia Towery (“Survivor Marquesas”): Perhaps a controversial choice, but while Vecepia was not the most memorable player on her season, she at least had a couple of moments, and a lot more agency in the game than Amber ever demonstrated. Vecepia, while “quiet” by today’s standards, had a subtle strategy that I’d like to see play out in a modern setting. Plus, if you were looking for “random, non-threatening winner from an early season” for this slot, I’d argue that Vecepia fits better since she’s, you know, NOT MARRIED TO ANOTHER PLAYER, THEREBY BEING A MAJOR TARGET THROUGH NO FAULT OF HER OWN! Oh, and she’s the only African-American woman to win “Survivor”. Does that count for nothing, CBS? Shouldn’t you at least have CONSIDERED her in casting?

Danni Boatwright (“Survivor Guatemala”, Blue Tribe): Stars be praised, “Survivor Guatemala” is getting its first representative on a returnee season! At last, CBS acknowledges the season for the underrated gem that it is, bringing back a stellar strategist to boot! Yeah, I’m a bit excited to see Danni back. While I admit she was by no means my favorite player on the season, I cannot deny that she played a superb game that flew below the radar even of the producers. As to how she’ll do, I’d say Danni has a decent shot at winning the whole thing, possibly even a dark horse for a victory. Danni strikes me as the type able to adapt to whatever situation she’s thrown in, and so won’t play the same game, but take the best elements from her old game, and combine them with what works now. Point being, she’s a threat, but from a relatively forgotten season. This means she won’t be used as a shield, but also means she can slip in as a number, without being a “Hey, what about that person?” sort of boot. My only concern with Danni, as I’ll talk about with other players, is how much drive she has to win this game. The one drawback to an all-winners season is that you run the risk of people basically saying “Eh, I’ve won already, I don’t need to try hard this time.” While I don’t think Danni will go this way, I could see her taking things a bit easier than before, feeling that she’s accomplished what she needed to on her first season. Still, since Danni strikes a good balance of savvy-enough to play well, but not so savvy as to be threatening, I see her making the late merge, possibly even the final episode, and would not be that surprised if she won.

Yul Kwon (“Survivor Cook Islands”, Red Tribe): Keeping up the positivity train, I’m happy to see Yul back in the game. He played one of the more dominant games of the first half of the show, but knows how to play the diplomat as well. He was one of my favorites on the season (though I must admit I like Cao Boi slightly more), and his return fills me with joy. Also surprise, since Yul was a person I thought had kind of moved on from “Survivor”. Still, he deserves to be back for his performance alone, and I think his return will be rewarded. Yes, Yul is my male pick to win the season, and if you were to put a gun to my head, and forced me to give one name only to be the winner, I would probably go with Yul. Like I said, the guy’s a diplomat, and still built enough to be considered a “threat”, and so can get in on a “meat shield” alliance. That said, I think Yul will be underestimated since people will say “Well, he only won because he had a super idol”. While technically true, I’d say people unfairly undersell Yul’s game because of this. Yes, he had that idol, but it would only have saved him once if he hadn’t used it properly. Instead, he used it to put pressure on a swing vote, and give his side the majority for the rest of the game. Yul is a big threat, but an underestimated one, and so I’d say he’s probably going to be the second two-time winner in the history of the show.

Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Micronesia”, Blue Tribe): And, there goes the positivity train. Don’t misunderstand, I’m happy Parvati’s back. The woman who helped organize the “Black Widow Brigade”, and won my favorite season of all-time, is always worth bringing back, and well worthy of a season of this caliber. The trouble is that Parvati, like Sandra, is an obvious threat who doesn’t work well as a shield for you. As such, Parvati is another pre-merge boot, though I could see her being our Edge of Extinction merge returnee, since she’s not as bad in challenges as one might think, especially if it ends up being endurance or balance-based. If so, then she probably leaves pretty much immediately after. She’s still a threat at the merge, and I don’t see these players suffering people winning their way back in gladly. Parvati’s time on the island this time around will be nasty, brutish, and short, but fun nonetheless. One minor upside for Parvati: She’s competitive enough that I don’t see her going “Eh, I already won.” at any point. Not sure it’s enough to save her, but a point in her favor nonetheless.

“Boston” Rob Mariano (“Survivor Redemption Island”, Blue Tribe): I kind of already went over my thoughts on Boston Rob already, so his bio may be kind of short. With the possible exception of Sandra, Rob is probably the biggest threat going into this season. Without Amber there, he would still be a big threat, but the threat of “couples” puts him over the top. That said, once Amber leaves, his threat level takes a big step down, and coupled with a probably “shield” alliance he can get going, I expect Boston Rob to stick around for a while. Not only can he be a good shield, but he’s going to make camp life a lot more comfortable, which is no small consideration. He probably gets voted out in the early merge, once he loses an immunity, but again, he’s not in bad shape, so I still expect him to do well in challenges, even winning his way back from the final Edge of Extinction Challenge. Like Parvati, he’ll be voted out shortly after, since no one on this season will let another “Chris Underwood” situation happen like on the titular “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, but as a result, Rob will be around until the final episode. I suppose I should also mention that he’s part of the reason I have Parvati going early, since I don’t see him forgetting “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” any time soon. As to my happiness at his return… Eh? While I don’t hate Boston Rob, I’ve never been his biggest fan, and five times playing the game (six if you count his mentorship on “Survivor Island of the Idols”, which I don’t) feels like too much for anyone. That said, outside of Rupert (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) and possibly Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”), he’s one of the most easily recognized players by the general public, and played one of the more dominant games seen by a winner, so even if I don’t like it, he has earned his right to come back.

Sophie Clarke (“Survivor South Pacific”, Red Tribe): For most of these returnees, as soon as I heard they were coming back, I had at least a base opinion on their chances. Sophie was the exception for me. Sophie is a bit of a paradox in the world of “Survivor”: the person who played the smartest game by actively choosing to do nothing. It’s not like she even went out of her way to go to the end with despised people, she was just able to articulately explain her decisions well, and earned a deserved victory for it. Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised to see her back, since her game was not the most exciting, and she seems to get snubbed by CBS as a result. I’m glad to see that her snark is recognized, and am very happy to have her back on the season as well. Like I said, though, I wasn’t certain of her chances. Playing the same game doesn’t work twice, and that goes double in the case of Sophie. One of the reasons her strategy worked last time was the fanatical loyalty that Upolu had to Coach, thus allowing her to take things slow and quiet. That will not be the case this time. Hence, hers was one of the bios I was most interested in reading this time, to see if she recognized this. Thankfully she did, so I give Sophie decent odds in this game. I don’t see her winning, but if she can adapt her strategy to better fit this more proactive group, I see her making the mid-to-late merge before people basically say “Hey, wait a minute…” and boot her off. We’ll get plenty of snark, though, which is ok by me!

Kim Spradlin-Wolfe (“Survivor One World”, Red Tribe): I’m not going to mince words: Kim is my female pick to win the whole season. Kim, like Boston Rob before her, played quite a dominant game, but unlike Boston Rob, did it on her first try. This speaks volumes to her gamesmanship skills, and I would be foolish to say that she has no shot at winning as a result. True her dominant performance does make her a threat, yet poor shield, sort of similarly to Parvati, but I think Kim is helped by the fact that “Survivor One World” is frankly not a good season. This makes her game less well-remembered, and also gives people the psychological out of “Oh, she was playing against idiots, and I’m not an idiot, so of course I’ll beat her!”, which gives her an edge. I could be very wrong here, since her performance was SO dominant as to be memorable in its own right, and it’s why, if forced to pick a winner between her and Yul, I’d bet on Yul. I’m also a bit worried since Kim says she’s playing this season “intuitively”. Not that this isn’t necessarily true, but I wonder how much Kim has really thought about this pre-season. If she hasn’t done much, and other people have, she may be in trouble. That said, Kim’s instincts have rarely proven wrong, and she’s a dominant player who does not necessarily come across as one, so I’d say she’s a probable winner for the season, and well deserving of her spot.

Denise Stapley (“Survivor Philippines”, Blue Tribe): Outside of Ethan, Denise is probably the person I’m most excited to see back. Us Psychology peeps have to stick together after all. Similarly to Sophie, she’s one I was pleasantly surprised to see back. She didn’t make much of a splash on her season compared to the Malcoms and the Lisas, but she had a wit about her that I liked, and played a simple, yet smart, game. It’s an intelligent choice I’m proud to say is on this season. That said, unlike Sophie, but like Ethan, I don’t give Denise very good odds in this game. She fares slightly better than Ethan, since I think she’s an early merge boot, but I just don’t see her winning. While Denise surviving EVERY SINGLE TRIBAL COUNCIL is an impressive feat (an another reason she deserves to be on a season such as this), the fact is that apart from a tight partnership with Malcolm, her strategy never seemed to coalesce. That is to say, she definitely had a strategy, but it was kind of a “go with the flow” strategy. That can get you through the early phases of a season like this, but she’s going to need to up her game in order to have a shot. Frankly, I didn’t see Denise doing that before this season, and in her bio she talks about not changing her game that much, which is her death knell to me. Simply due to their being bigger fish to fry, she lasts until the merge, but not much beyond that, which is a shame.

Tyson Apostol (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”, Red Tribe): Hoo boy, controversial opinion time. I know that Tyson is a lot of people’s favorite player, or at least amongst their favorite players. Read a list of “Funniest Players” and you’re almost guaranteed to see Tyson’s name on there. However, humor is subjective, and for me, Tyson just doesn’t do it. Personal, I know, but I just don’t like his style of humor. His delivery is excellent, but he seems to go in for insult comedy, which to me only really works if you insult yourself as much as you insult other people. Maybe it’s just what we’re shown, but Tyson doesn’t seem to do that all that often, and it just rubs me the wrong way. Plus, I’m not a fan of jokes about encouraging people to kill themselves. On a more objective criticism note, while Tyson definitely played a fantastic game his third time out, he’s not what I’d call a “legendary” player like you’d want on this season, and frankly, I think his story arc kind of had the perfect conclusion on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. He went from not taking the game that seriously his first time out, to trying to take it more seriously but making a dumb move, to earning his redemption with a well-deserved win. No need to sully that story with an unnecessary fourth appearance. With all that said, how do I think Tyson will do? I put him as another early merge boot. His demeanor is non-threatening, and I could also see him being kept around as a shield. However, once the merge hits, he becomes much more of a threat, and is voted out as a result. Not a bad showing, but I still think we could have done better. So, who would I have cast instead?

Chris Daugherty (“Survivor Vanuatu”): For me, this is the biggest snub of the season. Chris may not be as big a character as Tyson is, but if you’re looking to really pit the best against each other, it’s a crime to not have Chris back to test his mettle. The man was down 1-6 on a gender-divided season and STILL won! That takes some gumption, and it kills me that we don’t get to see him test himself against the best. Frankly, if he were here, he’d have beaten out Yul as my male pick to win the whole thing. Plus, I just wanted to see his prediction from the “Survivor Vanuatu” DVD come true. Is that so wrong?

Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”, Red Tribe): While I’m not as big a Tony fan as some others, and feel his game is overvalued, I cannot deny that he has earned his spot amongst the best of the best. Equal parts character and strategist (even if that strategy amounts to “throw it at the wall and see what sticks” in my opinion), Tony is definitely one of the more memorable and engaging winners of more recent seasons, and so of course he’s going to come back. He’s also going to be a major factor in Sandra going out early, since like with Boston Rob and Parvati, I don’t see him forgetting their last appearance together. That said, while I don’t see Tony doing as poorly as he did on “Survivor Game Changers”, I still have him pegged as a pre-merge boot, probably right after the swap. Some might argue he’d be kept around as a shield, but shields need to be reliable, at least in terms of strategy. A lot of words come to mind when I think of Tony. “Reliable” is not one of them. Even if he might be good to take deep in the game, he’s too volatile to risk. There’s people who go before him on his tribe, but he’s an easy boot at the swap, so that’s where I see him going.

Natalie Anderson (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”, Blue Tribe): Having played one of the best “Revenge” games in the show’s history, and helping salvage the season from the blandness that is Jon Misch, Natalie is someone who very much earned a spot back on this season. And I think her gameplay will serve her well this time around as well. The woman’s loud enough and dominant enough to work as a shield, but not so much as to be considered a major threat who needs to be targeted early. All that makes for a good combination, leading to a probably mid-merge boot. I don’t put her higher only because she’s one of the few people who says she won’t change her game that much, and while not the worst thing in her case, that can only take you so far. Her only other pitfall, I’ll discuss in the next bio.

Jeremy Collins (“Survivor Cambodia”, Blue Tribe): Ok, I have to say it: WHAT IDIOT DIVIDED THESE TRIBES? Look, putting enemies together on one tribe was going to be inevitable, especially since about half of the original “Villains” tribe is on this season, but did you need to put ALLIES together? Would it have really been that hard to put Jeremy and Natalie on separate tribes to start out with? This is the other pitfall I mentioned for Natalie, and it goes for Jeremy as well. While not the same as being married, two close allies together on the same tribe is trouble, and if their tribemates recognize this, one of them at least is going early, if not both. That said, I think Jeremy and Natalie are both smart enough to keep their connection on the down-low, and since their shared season is not that well-remembered, I’d expect Jeremy to do well as well, keeping up yet modifying his “shields” idea, and getting to the early merge with it. I may be shooting myself in the foot, underestimating Jeremy a second time, but like on “Survivor Cambodia”, I think he’s just outclassed. These people aren’t going to let him get to the end again, but he should get decently far, assuming he keeps his alliance with Natalie under wraps. For those wondering why I bring up the “shields” strategy so much in this cast assessment: Bear in mind that Jeremy is so far the only man to win an all-returnee season. The only model we have for men winning these seasons was created by him. The other dominant players would be fools not to follow, with modifications, his example. For engineering that strategy into the popular lexicon, Jeremy is definitely worthy of his spot among the best.

Michele Fitzgerald (“Survivor Kaoh Rong, Blue Tribe): Longtime readers of mine will know of my love for Aubry Bracco (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”) to the point that she’s my favorite player of all time. However, contrary to what this might imply, I am THRILLED that Michele’s back. Similar to Sophie, she played a game worthy of respect, but not respected by CBS, so I’m glad she gets another chance to show them how you actually play the game well. While I respect Aubry’s game, Michele also played a great game, and is a worthy winner to her season (in case anyone was wondering, while I do dislike the outcome of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, it is because the editors did not take the time to adequately show us Aubry’s “faults”, thus making Michele’s victory seem unearned. However, this is entirely the fault of the editing team/post-production, and not any of the players on that season. In my view, it is possible to say that both Michele and Aubry played good games, and still not be satisfied with the outcome). Normally I’d be concerned with Michele’s chances, since she’s another one who says she won’t change much. Michele, however, is the exception that proves the rule, as I think she’s the one person who can play the same game over and over and keep winning. When I think of Michele, the first word that comes to mind is “chameleon”. Michele just has a natural ability to blend into whatever situation or group she finds herself in, and argued properly (which Michele has shown she can do), this is a winning strategy. It says something that even on a season and a tribe that skews older, I give Michele good odds, despite being one of the youngest players of the season. That said, do I think that strategy will give her a win? Possibly, but I’d say she’s probably out around the mid-to-late merge area. Michele is good, but so is her competition. Close to the end, they’ll say “Hey wait a minute! What’s she still doing here?” and there’s nothing she can do about it. A shame, but I expect a good showing from Michele nonetheless.

Adam Klein (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, Blue Tribe): Oh, Adam. I like you buddy. I really do. I’m even ok with you being here, representing the “superfan” winner since Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”) can’t. But MAN, do you not have a snowball’s chance at winning this season. Adam has a few factors working against him. While not a dominant winner, his win is recent enough to still be fresh in people’s memories, and make them wary. Adam’s also on the younger end of things this season, which will make it harder for him to connect with people. And while I enjoy his superfan status, I fear it will blind him in terms of the game and/or annoy his fellow players. I can see Ethan or Boston Rob getting fed up with hero worship pretty quickly. Really, though, for me what kills Adam’s chances of winning is his determination and story. Sad though it is to say, a lot of Adam’s win had to do with the regrettable death of his mother. That was a driving factor in why he played so hard on his season, and in his closing arguments for his win. Without these factors, I don’t see him playing hard enough to stay in, and as such is an easy pre-merge boot. A shame, since I like the guy, but I call them like I see them.

Sarah Lacina (“Survivor Game Changes”, Red Tribe): AGAIN, REALLY? So, not only do we have allies Jeremy and Natalie on the same tribe, but we have Sarah and Tony on the same tribe now as well? WHY? It’s not just that it’s an edge for one side or the other, depending on how you look at it, but it could have been so easily avoided! Swap Sarah and Natalie, and bam! Tribes are still balanced, but no major allies end up on the same starting tribe! This is not rocket science, people! While I may not be happy with her tribe placement, I am happy to see Sarah back again. Her win was one of the better parts of “Survivor Game Changers”, and I’m always happy to see someone back who admits they’ve made mistakes and have learned from them. Really, the main mark against Sarah is Tony, since the pair of them do stick out as an alliance, making them a threat, but since I see Tony going early, this is less of a problem for Sarah. She probably makes the early-to-mid-merge, but I just don’t think enough time has passed for her to have a real shot at winning. I touched on this briefly with Adam, but we’re getting to the point in the series now where everyone remembers your past game, and you seem more of a threat because of it. This will be Sarah’s undoing, but she’ll stick around a good bit before then.

Ben Driebergen (“Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, Blue Tribe): Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I’m totally cool with Ben getting another shot at the game. Yes, he used a lot of idols and advantages towards the end, but unlike some, I tend to put the fault for that on his fellow players rather than Ben or production. You’re trying to get this guy out, have a majority of players over him, and you DON’T set a watch on him? You deserve what you get. Plus, even bearing in mind all the edges he had in the game (he definitely doesn’t win without final four fire making), the dude’s a nice guy and a deserving winner. Hopefully this time he can shake off the stigma of supposed “production help”. That said, I’m not sure he’s going to get the chance to do it, since Ben is another pre-merge boot, if you ask me. What Ben’s most remembered for are the “Ben Bombs” at Tribal Council, and the fact is, like Tony, this leads to an unpredictability in his game I don’t see this group tolerating. Ben might make the swap at least, but I don’t see him getting much beyond that.

Wendell Holland (“Survivor Ghost Island”, Red Tribe): Wendell played very well on his season, and I stand by the comparison to Ethan Zohn. He has the same social upside as Ethan, without the cumbersome baggage of early-season elitism. Really, Wendell’s biggest issue is just how recently he won. True, it was not a dominating performance on his own, and I could see people looking at him like JT or Stephen from “Survivor Tocantins” playing without their other half, and thereby not being a threat. However, while close, a tie vote does stick in the mind, and I don’t see Wendell being able to play as low-key as he did the last time as a result. There’s always going to be some eyes on him, which will understandably make his game harder. That said, one’s social graces should not be underestimated, and I’d say Wendell’s skills will take him to the early-to-mid-merge area, especially since Wendell seems to recognize what he’s going to need to change in his bio. At that point, though, he just sticks in the mind too much, and goes home. If it’s any consolation, I do think he deserves a spot on this season. Even leaving aside the “Winner to win in a tiebreaker” milestone, he reminded us that, even in this day and age, social game wins out over flashy moves, and that counts for a lot in my book.

Nick Wilson (“Survivor David vs. Goliath”, Red Tribe): Rounding out our cast, we have what I consider to be one of the odd choices of the season. I understand why they cast Nick. “Survivor David vs. Goliath” is the most recent season to get an overall positive reception, and is one of the few in the 30’s to get such a reception. It’s well-remembered and well-liked, so of course you want the winner back. However, while I definitely like and respect the season, it’s got little to do with Nick. He’s hardly a BAD winner, but aside from the nickname thing (which I personally found annoying thanks to my Post-Phillip-Sheppard-Stress-Disorder), does he really stand out as a winner? He played a solid game, but an unremarkable one, and on a season supposedly celebrating the best of the best, I think we could do better. While you might argue that Nick’s in a good spot due to not standing out, I still peg him as a pre-merge boot, though probably post swap. Simply put, he’s too recent and too young. Our youngest player on the season will have a hard time bonding with an overall older cast, and his recent win will mean he’s always a target. Hence, when you need someone out at the swap, there’s Nick Wilson, easy target. That said, since I don’t think he should be on this season, who would I put in his place?

Mike Holloway (“Survivor Worlds Apart”): Again, a controversial call, and for me “Survivor David vs. Goliath” is far and away a better season than “Survivor Worlds Apart”. But love or hate him, Mike Holloway is MEMORABLE, which Nick, for me, is not. Plus, Mike won in a unique way, immunitying his way to the end, which would have been good to see represented on this season, and see how it stacks up against the other styles of gameplay. Unlike the other replacements I’d have on the season, Mike was at least CONTACTED, but still, given how unusual his win was, this still feels like a snub.

And there you have it, one of the best returnee casts this show has ever had! For all my complaints, most of these choices are logical, and while CBS is doing their damnedest to make this a bad season, there’s still a joy in seeing all the winners together. Since I doubt we’ll get a straight Pagonging this season, an analysis of the tribes seems almost irrelevant, but for what it’s worth, despite not producing a winner pick I give the Blue tribe an edge early on. Both tribes are fairly evenly matched in terms of challenge ability, but I think Red has more challenge sinks. Since so many challenges are “Only as fast as your slowest member”, I see them losing the first couple (probably where Amber and Sandra go), but then finding their footing at a swap, with only a vulnerable couple (Tony, Nick) going at that point. As mentioned, I also see a “shields” strategy being prominent this season, with Jeremy and Boston Rob doing it jointly on the Blue Tribe, while Yul and Kim probably lead the charge on the Red tribe.

So, as to the twists of this season. Edge of Extinction is back once again, and as I hope I’ve made clear, I am not a fan. It either takes up too much time in the game or produces an unsatisfying winner, neither of which is a good outcome for the show. That being said, since these players know about it going in, and since I doubt they’ll award an Edge of Extinction returning player, I’m hopeful that this will be like Redemption Island on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, and be an element that is ultimately more of a time-wasting irrelevance than something that actively makes the season awful. Thus, I will not hate the season immediately for having this twist, but it is on thin ice. I also see this Edge of Extinction either having no quitters ever (due to just how determined people are this season) or having a ton of quitters (due to people saying “I’ve won before, I don’t need to starve again for a shot to get back in”), either of which would be a more intriguing dynamic than what we got the first time, though again, it leads to far too big a jury. The $2,000,000 prize money is an appropriate touch, though I do kind of wish that it was $3,000,000, just so that the winner of this season automatically won the most money off of “Survivor” no matter what. An then, there are the “Fire Tokens”. If, for some reason, you are coming to me first, Fire Tokens are a “currency” added to this season of the game. People on Edge of Extinction offer items such as food up for sale in exchange for these tokens, which they in turn can use to make the return challenge easier. This… is actually not a bad idea. True, I am annoyed that it’s putting more emphasis on Edge of Extinction, but it gives the people there something to do that’s more connected to the game, and unlike some twists, I think has interesting social implications. I don’t know how many of you remember the old show “Pirate Master” but I liked it, and one of the things I liked most was that you earned prize money as you went, but could trade it with other players in the hopes of swaying them to your side. It added a new social dynamic, and a new value to the money, and I think it could work well on “Survivor”. Even the willing of tokens if voted out I don’t mind, as they’re not as powerful as a Legacy Advantage, and do emphasize the social aspect of the game. So, in conclusion, I think the idea of Fire Tokens area an intriguing new addition to the game… FOR A NEWBIE SEASON!

Soapbox time, but this, to me, is what’s wrong with modern “Survivor”: no pacing. Contrary to some, I would not want a season free of all idols and advantages. While we complain about them, the fact is they can help shake up the game, and make Pagongings slightly less likely. Yes, the early seasons were hardly boring, but at this point, we can’t really go “back to basics” without a bit of culture shock. No, my issue with modern “Survivor” is the rate at which it GIVES OUT these new twists and advantages. While an exaggeration, it feels like every season has five new elements added to the game. I get the need to innovate. I agree with changing things up to prevent us seeing the same show over and over again. But PACE YOURSELF! This season has returning players. Returning WINNERS! A twist fans have been begging for for years! That, plus hidden immunity idols and MAYBE one extra advantage is all you need. Save your new ideas for a future season. You could build an entire season around the idea of Fire Tokens! Why waste the idea on a season we were already excited for anyway? This is especially perplexing to me since the show now seems rooted in Fiji, and NEEDS to have a theme for each season, since the locations aren’t distinct any more. Why do you throw out so many ideas at once, when ONE will do? “Survivor”, in short, is shooting its bolt too early, and I think in the long run, will pay the price for it.

Still, I’ve been wrong before. Perhaps the stellar cast will overcome the other bad news about the season. I won’t be recapping the special from the week before, since I would just be recapping the recap, so I’ll see you after the premiere of “Survivor Winners at War”!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: The Tragedy of Aubry Bracco

Screw it, CBS, if you’re not going to release your new cast today so that I can talk about it, I’ll find something ELSE to talk about. Maybe not the most timely of topics, but dammit, it needs to be addressed.

Now, this is a blog that I’ve been mulling over for a while. The loss of Aubry Bracco to Michele Fitzgerald in the finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” has shaken the “Survivor” community like I’ve not seen in a long time, and while the debate has largely died down, I doubt it will ever go away entirely. Still, I’ve felt a need to contribute something, but didn’t mainly because I felt I had nothing to say. And true, I will freely admit that a number of the points I’ll make here are unoriginal. The fact remains, however, that understanding the reasoning behind this outcome helps us understand “Survivor”, and now that I have some points that I feel I can bring to the discussion anew, the time is right.

The finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” was less than a year ago, but let us set the stage nevertheless. After what turned out to be a pretty exciting season, we went into the finale with expectations high. What we had here was a rare situation like with “Survivor Philippines” where no matter who won, the audience would be happy. We had Aubry, probably the audience favorite due to most “Survivor” fans being nerds of some form or another, who had a great transformation story, helped make arguably the biggest move of the game, and pretty well dominated strategy post-merge. We had Cydney, fellow strategy dominator and all around badass woman. Ok, she was maybe not as well liked as Aubry, but that’s mainly nerd-bias coming into play. Cydney was Aubry’s strategic equal, and the one who ultimately organized the dominant alliance. A victory from her would be well-deserved. We had Tai, America’s sweetheart, and so unlikely of a winner that you couldn’t help but root for him. And we had Michele, who while perhaps the least exciting of the four, did have something of an “underdog finalist” narrative going for her, had made some subtle gameplay moves, won a lot of respect for smacking down the sexist comments of former ally Nick Maiorano, and just seemed like a nice person in general. About the only thing the audience, and even the players, COULD agree on was that the only real foregone conclusion would be having Aubry in the finals. She wins there, no question. Strategically dominant, and even her enemies seemed to have a lot of respect. Note Scot Pollard’s “Giving her all in every aspect of the game.” comment, and Kyle Jason’s “There’s as much brawn in her as there is in me.” comment right before Scot got booted. Add onto that the recent trend of “Survivor” juries generally going for the player with the best strategic gameplay, and having Aubry in the finals seemed a lock for a win.

And then, with a “Final Three” twist, Aubry, Michele, and Tai were our finalists. We got a closer vote than we usually get, with a 5-2 victory, but that victory went to Michele. And thus began the wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

Seriously, this was fandom rage over a winner that I hadn’t seen in a while. Say what you will about recent “Survivor” seasons, but there was usually little complaint about the ultimate winner. Certainly there were times where people politely debated the outcome. People who said that Parvati deserved the win over Sandra in “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, detractors of Sophie Clark from “Survivor South Pacific”. Hell, if you want to get really recent, some even debate whether Hannah or Ken should have won “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X.” But that’s the thing: it’s debate, not rage. No, if you want to go back to the last time we had real rage over the outcome of a season of “Survivor”, you’d have to go back to Natalie White’s victory in “Survivor Samoa”, seven years ago at the time of this writing, and six and a half as of the “Survivor Kaoh Rong” finale. Pretty good track record, all things considered, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. We’re here to talk about the winner of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, and how it happened.

When this initial outcome happened, I was really at a loss for what to say about it. One the one hand, as an Aubry fan in general and a lover of unlikely people overcoming odds, it’s more than fair to say that I was in Aubry’s corner, and would very much have loved her to win. On the other hand, I’m not someone who thinks “deserving” really enters into “Survivor”, so declaring Aubry the “correct” winner seemed wrong. More to the point, it detracts from Michele’s game. She played well. Her play style wasn’t very “showy”, but in many ways, that’s the smart way to do things, since it makes you less of a target. Arguing that Aubry “Was the better player” or “should have one” inherently detracts from the good game Michele played, and would be too insulting for my taste. Still, the outcome detracted from the season, but I had no way to express that without insulting Michele. Until now.

Ok, here’s where argument stealing comes into play. In anticipation for the upcoming season, I’ve been surfing around the “Survivor” Web, just to read what I can to tide me over until CBS announces the cast already. In doing so, I came across a recap of the finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” on the website “Inside ‘Survivor'”, which phrased it perfectly. To paraphrase: In general, the storyline of any given season of “Survivor” can be boiled down to “This is why person A won.” or “This is why person B lost.” As “Survivor Kaoh Rong” ultimately does neither, we get a weak ending to the season.

Bam. Right there. It’s not about who played better than whom, but about what the editors chose to do. I can understand not wanting to give us a “Why Michele won.” storyline this season. As I said, her game isn’t very “showy” and doesn’t make for good television. Fair enough. But then you need to explain to us why Aubry lost, and you didn’t do an adequate job of that, either. You were too busy making her beloved by the fans to DARE show us her spots. Oh, you showed us a couple, here and there. Her breakdown on day two, and her indecision in voting Peter out. But ultimately, the back half of the season, what most people remember, can be boiled down to “Cydney and Aubry kick ass.”, and in the case of the former flaw, it was redeemed in the same episode it was brought up in.

Now, some of you may point to what my readings seem to indicate is the most accepted explanation for Aubry’s loss, namely that she didn’t talk too much to people outside her alliance. Which I would accept, within the show, as fair enough, IF THEY ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO SHOW IT! See, this is part of that “Show Aubry’s spots” thing. If she played a social game where she alienated people, fair enough. If Scot and Jason in particular (as they seemed to be the freest votes going into Final Tribal Council) hated Aubry’s guts, then give us confessionals of them hating Aubry’s guts. If they felt that strongly, you must have SOME material you can use! But no, we get confessionals of them talking about how much of a threat she is, and giving the aforementioned compliments that made it LOOK like there were no hard feelings. Extended clips and behind the scenes things are all well and good, but the storyline of the season is what we get on tv, and what we got on tv was that Aubry was beloved by everyone on the jury, save perhaps for Debbie (due to her betrayal) and Julia (due to being besties with Michele).

Now, some might argue that a “This is why person B lost.” storyline inherently makes that person unlikeable, and the producers didn’t want to do that to Aubry. A fair enough point, but the producers have shown that they can show why someone lost, and still have them be at least somewhat likable before. Russell Hantz’ loss on “Survivor Samoa” may be the primary example of a “Why person B lost.” story, but it’s not the only one. The model the producers needed to follow was “Survivor All Stars”. I know, it’s weird to copy anything from “Survivor All Stars” but here it was necessary. We had a winner, Amber Brkitch, whose game, while not the most exciting, was the winning one. So, the producers showed why Boston Rob ultimately lost, by highlighting how he was personally offending most of the other players. Now, this didn’t make Boston Rob the darling of America, but he was well liked enough to be a prime vote-getter in the popularity poll at the end of the season, and the fanbase still had a lot of respect for him at the end. Despite the story of the season being about his failings, a good number of people still liked, or at least respected, Boston Rob. If Aubry’s social game did have those failings, then you could show us those, and we would still like her as a flawed, but pretty good player. Instead, you had to highlight the good points, and make it seem like an Aubry win was a lock. Not saying Aubry was a bad player by any stretch, but if there was a coherent reason she turned a lot of the jury off, then we need to know it.

As it stands, I do have two ideas about why Aubry lost that fit within the evidence presented on the show only, but the outcome isn’t a good one. If we go by the show’s logic, Aubry’s loss was due 100% to anti-nerd bias. True, we still have the problem of Aubry being shown in the most positive light possible, but we do at least have confessionals that state that our potential swing votes may be anti-nerd. Jason’s “Shoving geeks in lockers.” comment comes to mind. And if that’s the case, then, well, it sucks. Yes, the jury is allowed to vote based on whatever criteria they wish, and if that involves implicit bias, so be it. But here’s why it’s unsatisfying: It’s something Aubry can’t fix. It implies that, however good of a game she played, Aubry would never win on this season because she herself was never going to be an acceptable winner to these people, and she can’t do anything about it. True, one can try and build bonds with people, try and be someone they’re not, but at the end of the day, if someone’s biased against you, you may not be able to overcome that hurdle. Therefore, no matter how well you play the game, even if your physical, social, and strategic games could not be better, people would still not vote for you because of bias. And that rubs people in general, and me in particular, the wrong way. Would a vote based on Aubry’s social game still be hard to take. Yes, but I could see it as a flaw to overcome in the future. “Being a nerd” is not a flaw, nor should it be, and may not be possible to overcome.

The other part of this is simply connection. Debbie and Julia, as I’ve said, were pretty well locked Michele votes in this Final Three, and I think we underestimated how much Scot and Jason followed Julia’s lead, making Michele’s win a dead certainty. Again, understandable, but what could be done about it? Some might argue that Aubry could have made moves earlier in the game that could have put her up against people she could have beaten, and it may be true, but I argue that this leaves too many variables unchecked to really be of any value. For example, let’s say that Aubry had joined with Tai to vote out Michele instead of Jason at the final six. True, it gets rid of Michele, but what if Jason goes on an immunity tear after that? Aubry, being perceived as a threat, maybe doesn’t even MAKE Final Tribal Council. I’m all for speculation (this is “Idol Speculation” after all), but there are just too many unknowns here for such speculation to be of any merit.

In the end, the season is what it is. Still very good, but with a misstep in the editing that made the ending less satisfying. People have debated the details of the outcome in more depth than I care to, and ultimately we’ll probably never know the true reasoning behind the outcome that jibes with all the evidence. Having it fall on the editing team hopefully helps them prepare for the future, and let’s me sleep at night. Able to be bitter about the outcome, but happy in the knowledge that both our winner and our runner-up played great games.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: Speculative “Survivor All-Winners”

It’s off-season content time, my valued readers! After what I’ve deemed a sufficient break, and not wanting to repeat the unfortunate situation last summer where I was barely able to blog due to my schedule, it’s time to resume talking about “Survivor”-related things that are not necessarily connected to the previous season. Normally, this would be the start of “‘Survivor’ Retrospectives”, but those of you who read the title can hopefully tell this is not the case.

No, I’m delaying the return of “‘Survivor’ Retrospectives” to talk about a topic I’ve had on my mind since “Survivor Kaoh Rong” began, but haven’t felt like putting to the blogosphere until now. You see, while I try not to let it influence my blog too much, I do check out preseason content and hype, for my own pleasure. As per usual, there were bits on “Entertainment Weekly” and CBS.com, but there was also a bit of hype we don’t usually get. While Jeff Probst is usually the spokesman of any given season, he went unusually above and beyond for “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, giving a public interview along with previous contestants Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Cook Islands”) and Stephen Fishbach (“Survivor Tocantins”). While fun, it was largely uneventful, save for one question from a young fan: When is “Survivor All-Winners” going to take place. Now, this is hardly a new question, since “All-Winners” is such an obvious idea, and the answer from all corners has always been that it will happen eventually, and it’s been clarified that this sort of season is how the show would finish up, when it eventually ends. However, Probst embellished this answer this time around, pointing out the trouble of finding “Enough good winners” to invite back, and calling out early seasons in particular for having “Boring” winners.

And this, my friends, is where I object. While I have now qualms with them holding off doing an “All-Winners” season, particularly as it would make for a fitting final season, and while I’m not as nostalgia-blind to the faults of the early seasons as some fans are, I take offense to the notion that the old winners are boring. They’re different from many of today’s winners; that’s to be expected. “Different” does not mean “Boring”, though, and to prove this point, I’ve decided to make up a 20-player season of nothing but previous winners of “Survivor”, that would be both interesting and feasible.

Now, while I’m not privy to the goings on behind CBS casting, I do have a very general knowledge of who will and won’t come back, and I’m largely going to stick to that. I say “largely” because I divide those who say “I’ll never play again.” into two categories: those that mean it, and those that can still be persuaded. I’ll largely stay away from both groups, but if I consider a winner to be in the latter category, I say they’re fair game. This is also partially due to the one problem with developing a cast for this type of season: the ladies. Not that there haven’t been spectacular female winners, but even after Michele Fitzgerald’s victory on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, we’ve only got 13 of them, meaning only 3 can be ticked off the list for this season, which makes life difficult. Compare this to the 18 men who have won, and therefore have much more leeway with who can come back. With the women especially, I may have to stretch to get them to come back. All that said, I am trying to think like a producer here, and pick who should come back based on excitement and story arcs primarily, since casting does do this. Look how aggressively they tried to promote a story arc for Kelly Wiglesworth on “Survivor Cambodia”. Testament to looking for story arcs right there. As a final note, I am aware of the leaked “cast” for season 34, which will include some people on this list, but I won’t be taking it into consideration for two reasons. First, it largely doesn’t change my “All-Winners” cast anyway, even if they do lose that go-around, and second, it’s not official. My policy is that, until officially confirmed by CBS, they don’t count as the real cast, and therefore don’t count for this blog.

Well, with all that technical stuff out of the way, let us get to discussing the 20 winners we have back for our fictional season. Dividing it up by gender made it easier to pick for who should come and who shouldn’t, so let’s keep it that way. Ladies first!

Vecepia Towry (“Survivor Marquesas”): Ok, I’ll admit it’s a bit hypocritical for me to say that we can have a 20-winner season with exciting people, and start off with Vecepia. Don’t get me wrong, Vecepia actually played a really good game on “Survivor Marquesas”. She was able to stay out of trouble, get very good reads on people, and even outsmarted the “Fallen Comrades” challenge, getting it banned for the rest of “Survivor”. Sadly, the things that make her a great “Survivor” strategist make for boring tv. It’s not fun or easy to watch an under-the-radar game, and without any caustic wit or humor to make her confessionals fun, Vecepia largely goes unnoticed in the world of “Survivor”. Why bring her back, then, over the comparatively more exciting Tina Wesson (“Survivor The Australian Outback”)? Well, sad to say, but that’s the producer in me talking. For whatever reason, despite other races not needing equal representation, “Survivor” likes to have both an African-American man and an African-American woman on their seasons, and while we have some choice with the man, Vecepia is the only woman that fits. Thus, even if she’s not the most exciting, she needs to come back. Plus, her game is underappreciated.

Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): Aw yeah, now we’re talking! The queen of “Survivor” herself, how could you NOT have Sandra come back. Another under-the-radar player, but with enough of a mouth to make her entertaining, Sandra needs to come back if only to defend her title of two previous “Survivor” wins. After all, what could be better than this caustic mother with a brilliant strategy winning three times in a row?

Danni Boatwright (“Survivor Guatemala”): She’s oft forgotten, but Danni is actually one of the more strategic winners we’ve had in the past. She overcame being the last member of her alliance left, and weaseled her way in to a victory she shouldn’t have had by rights. That, right there, is the mark of an engaging “Survivor” player. She was maybe not the biggest character of her time, but she was definitely visible, and she could serve the season well as a dark-horse player who becomes better appreciated.

Parvati Shallow (“Survivor Micronesia”): Probably the biggest stretch on this list, despite her saying that she’ll never play again, I still think Parvati can be persuaded. Why? Well, after “Survivor Micronesia” she ALSO said she’d never play again. Yet she came back for “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, which was a much shorter break than between “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, and this fictional season. If she could be persuaded then, there’s no reason to believe she couldn’t be persuaded now. Parvati is often credited with perfecting the flirt game, and that’s not untrue, but she brings so much more to the table. She’s actually quite good in challenges, is incredibly proactive, and very good of struggling out of tight situations. After all, she’s one of only two winners to have more than one vote cast against her pre-merge. She’s funny, flirty, and one of the best ever players besides. A season without her would be boring indeed.

Natalie White (“Survivor Samoa”): Put down your torches and pitchforks! I know that Natalie is one of the most hated winners of all time, but here me out on this. Apart from being smarter than she’s given credit for, what with her careful relationship building, and knowing who to take to the end (though it didn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to see that Russell was going to be easy to beat in the finals, and “Survivor Samoa” even HAD one of those), Natalie helps fill the “Young, Pretty Girl” role that CBS needs on every season. If you’re still not convinced, consider the potential story arc here: Natalie now has a chance to prove the naysayers wrong. She can show that her win against Russell (because, let’s face it, Mick was not a factor) was not a fluke, and prove that she has strategic legs to stand on. Compelling TV, if I do say so myself.

Sophie Clark (“Survivor South Pacific”): Sophie is the oxymoron of the group: a winner who played the smart game by pretty much doing nothing. Sophie has a game that’s hard to appreciate on first watch, since by it’s nature, it doesn’t involve much beyond snarky comments, but look a little deeper and you’ll see an analytical thinker who played a pretty good game, even if circumstances dictated they stay with their original alliance. Plus, even if she doesn’t bring as much in terms of gameplay this time around, those confessionals will still be funny.

Kim Spradlin (“Survivor One World”): Arguably the best strategic player the show’s ever had, there’s not way you can do this season without Kim Spradlin. You’ve got to see if she can pull off that level of control twice in a row. If you’re doing an “All-Winners” season, you’ve got to have the best, and Kim Spradlin could definitely qualify as “the best”.

Denise Stapely (“Survivor Philippines”): My, but we do seem to have a lot of snarky ones today. Being the only player to literally survive EVERY SINGLE TRIBAL COUNCIL and still win makes Denise a “Survivor” legend, and worthy of returning, but that’s not the only reason to bring her back. As I say, she can give a very good verbal thrashing when she wants to, and she has a tough quality to her that’s both admirable and fun to watch. For an “All-Winners” season, Denise is a must-have.

Natalie Anderson (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”): Her season may not have been good, but Natalie certainly was. She was entertaining, giving us some good confessionals as well as a few fights. However, Natalie was also a calculated player, biding her time until the moment was right to seize power. She even made some of the worst lies ever seem plausible simply by her delivery! She’s an excellent player, a proven character, and a welcome addition to this sort of season.

Michele Fitzgerald (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): Once again, I implore you to put down your flaming and/or pointy instruments. I’m aware that Michele’s win is, shall we say, controversial, but just because she wasn’t the ideal winner does not make her a BAD winner. We have here another example of someone biding their time and making solid relationships, while still having a snarky confessional or two. And, if that doesn’t do it for you, she can also have a “proving her worthiness” arc much like Natalie White would have.

Well, there you have our ten ladies. Let us see how the gentleman fare.

Richard Hatch (“Survivor Borneo”): Kind of a no-brainer, particularly as he would have been back for “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” had he been allowed out of the country, but Hatch has earned his right to come back for an “All-Winners” season. He’s still a big name from the show (arguably the biggest), still very much a character, and still very much seeped in “Survivor” lore. Like Shii-Ann said on “Survivor All-Stars”, “Everyone wants to dethrone the king.” I ask you, what kind of a game would it be if there were no opportunities for the king to get dethroned.

Ethan Zohn (“Survivor Africa”): If I were to take a guess as to where Probst’s “Boring early winners” comment was particularly pointed, Ethan would be the only answer. Undeniably the most universally popular winner until Tom Westman came around on “Survivor Palau”, Ethan comes across as a generic nice guy, which seems to follow into real life. It explains his popularity, but it also doesn’t make him the most interesting guy to watch. However, popularity is popularity, and if you’re going to go with who’s popular, Ethan’s your guy. Add onto that recent tweets from him about how the game isn’t “challenging” anymore, and you’ve got the perfect representative of the old guard, and a good scapegoat as far as toughness is concerned.

Chris Daugherty (“Survivor Vanuatu”): Once again, a winner more exciting in hindsight then they are on first watch. Chris got a few fun and/or smart confessionals on his season (with particular note given to the “You question a woman’s character…” confessional that got played over and over again), but he’s much more fun to watch when you know from the beginning he’s winning. With arguably the worst start a winner’s ever had, Chris still manages to come back and win the entire thing, even being our OTHER winner to get more than one vote pre-merge and still win. Still, he could be fairly entertaining, and if nothing else, you bring him back on the same logic you bring Kim Spradlin back. This is a season about the best of the best, then you want the best playing, and Chris is definitely a worthy contender for the title of “the best”.

Yul Kwan (“Survivor Cook Islands”): We had to have at least ONE uber-nerdy winner besides Sophie, and since John Cochran (“Survivor Caramoan”) falls into the “definitely” category of never playing again, Yul will do. The guy who talked about “Why elephants can’t run up trees” definitely fits here, but he’s also a nice high-caliber player who’s often touted as another “best” to ever play, and that means we need to see him again.

Bob Crowley (“Survivor Gabon”): Certainly a controversial call, and perhaps it’s just my love of this season that puts Bob here, but I think he deserves it. “Survivor” does love a gimmicky contestant, and your oldest winner probably fits the bill. Plus, if you’ve got a bunch of strategic masterminds going at it, you want at least one or two less-strategic people there to balance it out. Bob fits the bill very nicely. I know some people have called him “boring”, but I argue they’re conflating “boring” and “non-strategic”. For his age, and to a certain degree his kookiness, Bob definitely comes back.

J.T. Thomas (“Survivor Tocantins”): In the aftermath of his disastrous performance on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, many people forget how good J.T. could actually be at the game. He was a very good social player, and with more strategic chops than one would think at first glance. Not for nothing was he the first player to ever achieve a “flawless victory” on the show. But, even if all you remember is his second outing, he still comes back. Now, it’s a story of redemption, a chance to go out on a high note for him. If that isn’t compelling television, I don’t know what is.

Jud “Fabio” Birza (“Survivor Nicaragua”): While you often hear about the “hot girl in bikini” role, “Survivor” does at least try to go in for its share of “hot guy in speedo” roles. It’s regrettably not an equal standard, but that’s a blog for another day. Regardless, Fabio fills this role nicely, and also has some merit on his own. The guy provides good comic relief, and the possibility of his goofiness once again winning out over these brilliant strategic minds, makes him a good one to bring back.

Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”): Ah, crazy Tony, who doesn’t want to see him again. Another season of “spy shack” is good enough for me! Fortunately, Tony also brings a pretty good caliber of play, and a certain amount of paranoia, so as a fun-yet-strategic player, he’s definitely a guy worth bringing back.

Mike Holloway (“Survivor Worlds Apart”): While most would argue that “Best” on “Survivor” means pure strategy, one cannot discount the challenge component as well, and Mike is the winner that best exemplifies this, due to winning thanks to an immunity challenge streak. He was popular at the time, he should still be popular later, therefore he’s a great representative of the “challenge beast” school of strategy.

Jeremy Collins (“Survivor Cambodia”): What can I say? The guy was a highlight of both of his seasons, played a really good game, and learned from his mistakes. Maybe he’d even have another heart-wrenching story to bust out. Either way, Jeremy is a good way to round out the list.

Well, if I do say so myself, that was a fun exercise to do. Now, I have no doubt that, when an “All-Winners” season comes around, it won’t be this exact cast. There’ll be other winners to take their place, and some of my “reach” players may decline after all. Still, it’s fun to speculate about. With that in mind, please hit the comments to tell me who YOU’d like to see in an all-winners season, and who I’m full of shit for putting on. Until then, I shall see you when “Survivor Retrospectives” returns!

-Matt

“Survivor” Retrospectives: South Pacific

And so we come to South Pacific. No, not the musical, the “Survivor” season. I have to admit, when I started doing “‘Survivor’ Retrospectives”, I wasn’t at all sure I was going to do this season. Not so much because it’s a hard season to analyze or anything. In fact, this one might be one of the easier seasons to get through in terms of all that goes on. No, I wasn’t sure I was going to do this one because this is where I come in. “Idol Speculation” stated with South Pacific. “Survivor Redemption Island” was just that bad that it caused me to start blogging about the show before anyone had any reason to give a damn about my opinion. But this also meant that I’d kind of already given my thoughts on the season, why go over it again? I’m doing it now, partly because I’m so obsessed that I need to finish EVERY season, regardless of whether or not I have much of anything to say about it, and partly because when I blog about a season, I talk about it on an episode-by-episode basis. True, I try to give some overall thoughts in my final blog of the season, but that’s still my knee-jerk reaction. Time and space let you see things you couldn’t before, and so, since I might have something different to say about it. So here we are, South Pacific. Was my first blogging season good? Bad? A little of both? An obvious “Guardians of the Galaxy” reference? Perhaps all of the above. Read on to find out.

Before commencing the reading on and finding out, though, I should give fair warning about spoilers. From this point forward, I write these blogs as if talking to someone who was already familiar with the outcome of the season, or at least didn’t care about knowing the major plot points of said season. If you just want to know what I generally think of the season, without any of these spoilers, scroll IMMEDIATELY to the bottom of this web page, where I have a section labeled “Abstract” that will give you just what you’re looking for. For everyone else, who wants to know what I think about this season in nauseating detail, it’s time.

CAST

Surprisingly for a season with returning contestants (a fact that will be talked about a LOT in later sections), the big star of this season is not one of said returning contestants, but the little red-haired nerd himself, John Cochran. Much like David Murphy on “Survivor Redemption Island”, Cochran (as he annoyingly insisted on being called) was built up BIG TIME pre-season. Not so much for his smarts, although that was a factor (Harvard-educated lawyer and all that), but for his superfan status. He was pitched as the uber-“Survivor” nerd, the one who actually got off the couch to play the game he loved. And, to some degree, he did not disappoint. He certainly had an encyclopedic knowledge of “Survivor”, certainly showed how happy he was to be in the game, and did, in my book, have a few moments of good strategy (which will be talked about in the “Twist” section). But what Cochran was most definitely was a character. While David Murphy seemed to fail to deliver in many ways, Cochran made sure he would not be forgotten. He was a caricature of a nerd, pathetic at challenges (even puzzle-based ones), cracking self-deprecating jokes about using the tribe machete, and falling victim to amusing injuries. He sort of floundered through most of the game, but did flounder in such a way that he would not be forgotten. Note that I say “not forgotten” instead of “liked”. This will amaze people who did not join “Survivor” fandom until “Survivor Caramoan” or later, but Cochran was not universally loved or respected like he pretty much is now. We’ll talk about the changing perceptions of Cochran when we come to that season, but for now, let’s focus on South Pacific. While it would be unfair to say that Cochran was universally hated or disrespected back in the day, and it would be fair to say that he was the big name people remembered from this season even then, Cochran was considered the “villain” of the piece. The trouble with Cochran being a caricature of the “Survivor” fanbase was that Cochran did not get shown in a positive light, largely. He did very little strategically, at least compared to what people expected of him, and there were many confessionals in which the Savaii tribe relentlessly berated Cochran and how pathetic he was. Given Cochran’s general performance, these could not be refuted, so he seemed like an insult to the “Survivor” fanbase. When he finally DID make a move that was purely his own (which will be gone over in the “Twist” section), it was seen as being so poorly executed and stupid that the fanbase grew even more insulted, and while he had a few supporters even then, the rallying cry was largely “Cochran sucks!” This softened somewhat by season’s end, due to the clip show “Survivor” used to do. Lest you think that what’s shown in the clip show never has an impact on the show, let South Pacific stand as the counterargument. Remember all those confessionals about how pathetic Cochran was? The clip show gave us how the tribe was treating Cochran to his face. Suffice to say, it wasn’t very nice. This gave Cochran a lot of sympathy, and while many still didn’t agree with his move, they could better understand why, and so Cochran became somewhat more popular. He still wasn’t particularly beloved, that wouldn’t come until “Survivor Caramoan”. At the very least, though, Cochran was acknowledged as being the big character of the season, and seen as somewhat put upon. For my part? I loved Cochran! While the whole “caricature” thing did get a bit old, I identified with how put-upon Cochran was by his tribe a lot. It seemed to me like he had some brains that he didn’t really get to show, since Savaii kind of cut him off at the knees before he had a chance to shine. He was somewhat funny, and had a lot of potential. Did he let me down from what I expected? Sure. Was he more annoying than I would have liked? Kind of? But was he still enjoyable, and did I like watching him? Yes. If you were going to have a flagship character for South Pacific, you could do worse than John Cochran.

But, of course, Cochran wasn’t the ONLY big name to come out of South Pacific. No, for all that we got the pretty cool John Cochran this season, we also had endure yet ANOTHER Hantz this time around! The producers obviously realized that they couldn’t use Russell again, after this last performance, but they couldn’t let that gold-mine die. So, we had a season where we had to endure his nephew, Brandon Hantz. While maybe not as hated as on his return on “Survivor Caramoan”, Brandon was still seen as annoying and hypocritical on his season. He was one of the annoying “moral crusaders” who wanted to play the game honestly, which we were sadly getting a LOT of at this point. On top of that, Brandon went back and forth on how he wanted to play. First he said he would hide his heritage from his tribe (something I thought would be difficult to do, given that the name “Hantz” was tattooed on his arm), but then goes out and reveals it in a big, cheesy confession that ate up valuable strategy time. He said he was going to take care of people, but then went on an attack against Mikayla Wingle for no apparent reason, only getting her voted out. I’ve been more of a Mikayla fan than most, but even I will admit that apart from being “the girl pursued for no reason by crazy Brandon Hantz”, she’s not memorable, and didn’t contribute much to the season. But back to Brandon. While we hadn’t seen the worst of him at this point, the audience still wasn’t big on him. He was preachy and stupid, and I completely agree with the audience here. Though not nearly as bad as Russell Hantz (“Survior Samoa”), in that he was somewhat more polite overall, Brandon’s schtick of morality and stupidity just got old really fast, and while he was remembered after the season, it wasn’t much fun to watch, and he’s part of what drags down the season.

Fortunately for “South Pacific”, for every Brandon-type character we had to endure, we had a good character to love, like Dawn Meehan. Once again, this is a case where the character became more well-known after a future appearance, but even during and after South Pacific, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who disliked Dawn, and many people remembered her fondly. Somewhat similar to how I viewed Cochran, Dawn was seen as someone who could potentially have good strategy, but got cut off in their prime. She also drew a lot of comparisons to Holly Hoffman (“Survivor Nicaragua”) as an older lady whose emotions got the better of her early game, but came back to do well. These comparisons are nor surprising, since Dawn was actually supposed to be on “Survivor Nicaragua”, but got cut for Holly instead, meaning the characters are so similar that CBS didn’t want two on one season. Still, Dawn was a great addition. You could tell that she had gumption. She was likeable, and for my part, it’s always fun to see an older lady on “Survivor”. I, like a lot of the audience, tend to feel they’re more interesting than the generic good-looking bikini babes “Survivor” likes to give us, and so Dawn was a great addition to the cast, and another part of what makes it stand out.

Before we delve into the returnees for this season, as well as those popular at the time that seasons since have made us forget, we must discuss someone who, while not HUGELY popular at the time, did make a big splash afterward. I’m talking about our winner for the season, Sophie Clarke. Sophie played a very quiet, snarky game. She was noticed on the season, giving a fair number of scathing confessionals about her fellow tribemates, but also showing a bit of personal growth, opening up more as the season went along. “Survivor” very rarely does story arcs with character development, at least over the course of a single season, but when they do happen, they usually show people developing strategically. Watch Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien on “Survivor Marquesas” if you want an example of a season-long story arc. But Sophie was a very rare case, since she developed socially. For a lot of fans, including myself, this was kind of fun to watch, with her snark keeping us entertained over the more boring parts. On top of this, Sophie was also always involved in strategy. Whenever you had a plan to flip, or a discussion of who to vote out, Sophie was there, which sort of quietly showed her intelligence. Oddly, though, Sophie is respected as a strategist, even though she never made an overt move. And here in lies the conundrum that is Sophie: she never actually made a move in the game, apart from getting into the winning alliance and giving a good Final Tribal Council Performance (one of the best of all time, in my opinion). And yet, unlike other winners who basically made no moves in the game, Sophie is generally respected as a good winner. Part of this, of course, is due to the fact that she wasn’t another returning contestant winner. Beyond that, however, one could see that by her not making a move, she actually dictated the course of the game. By her not flipping, others didn’t flip, and while this made for a fairly predictable game (which I’ll discuss the drawbacks of in the “Overall” section), it also meant that Sophie knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth. She knew that, if she stayed the course, she’d go to the end with people who were easy to beat, and so stopped those people from flipping, and potentially screwing her game up. One has to look closely to see (explaining why Sophie’s game is really only visible on rewatch), but Sophie did play the game really well, and this combined with her growth and wit made her a fairly good winner. Certainly better than her two predecessors. And she won the final immunity challenge against Ozzy Lusth (“Survivor Cook Islands”). That’s pretty cool. One thing that I also personally like about Sophie is that fact that she was a young woman on the show (22 at the time), yet clearly was not a dumb lady who looked good in a bikini. She was cast because she was a good character. Don’t get me wrong, Sophie is hardly unattractive, but she’s not the stereotypical model of feminine beauty that “Survivor” loves in their young women. I love that fact that arguably the most respected young winner of the show is the one who isn’t just a brainless beauty. Just goes to show that casting CHARACTERS rather than MODELS usually yields better season results.

Who, exactly, was this goat that Sophie wanted to take to the end. None other than the Dragon-Slayer himself. Benjamin “Coach” Wade was on this season, this time rambling on about both Christianity and Greek Mythology! While there was a certain amount of “Coach fatigue” by this point, Coach had been spaced out a little better than Russell Hantz, and so people were generally accepting of him. Coach played a better strategic game this time around, which people liked, and was arguably somewhat less irritating with the preachiness, but like Brandon Hantz, he contributed largely to the negative feelings most people have about this season. I won’t say that I liked Coach, but then I’ve never been a big Coach fan. Personally, I was more a fan of him on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, where he seemed to have some personal growth and was better than Russell Hantz, but while not the highlight of the season, he was still memorable. But even Coach pales in comparison to Challenge Jesus himself, the aforementioned Ozzy. Unlike other recent returnees, Ozzy had had a long hiatus from the show, making people happy to see him back. And Ozzy delivered exactly what people wanted to see. He was good outdoors. He was good in challenges. He was an overall nice guy. He brought a bit more strategy than in his previous incarnations, and as I’ll be discussing later, he was a nice monkey wrench in a season that was ultimately pretty predictable. Even so, I actually found Ozzy to be a bit preachy in a different direction, and I wasn’t a big Ozzy fan to begin with, so while I acknowledge his importance as a character, I don’t consider him a highlight of the season.

That’s where the currently notable characters end, but there are a couple more people who were semi-popular at the time that are worth talking about now. The first of these is supposed strategist Jim Rice. Similar to Dawn, Jim was seen as someone who had a lot of potential as a strategist (and even showed it by deposing Ozzy in a pretty fun manner, which I do give him points for), but got cut off at the knees by Cochran’s twist. He was also one of the people on the receiving end of Cochran’s move, and did not take it well. He got a lot of love as the voice of the audience when Cochran was hated. As Cochran became more popular, Jim Rice became less popular, due to his being rightly seen as a major bully of Cochran, and taking his vote-off too hard. I quite agree with the latter take on Jim Rice. I certainly respect that he had some strategic potential, particularly for his taking Ozzy down a peg, but the bitterness he had towards Cochran for a fair game move was one of the more unpleasant aspects of the season, and therefore, I think it’s only too right that he’s largely forgotten. He could have been great, but his actions made things uncomfortable, so good riddance. In a similar vain, Whitney Duncan was another potential strategist who fell from grace at least in part due to her treatment of Cochran. She had a few subtle strategy moments that both I and the audience rather liked, but again, once she was on the receiving end of Cochran’s move, she became pretty hard to listen to for how hard she was on Cochran. I did admire that, despite being another one of the “hot girls” of the season, she seemed to have a few brains, but like with Jim Rice, I can’t get beyond her treatment of Cochran. As if Whitney didn’t have enough of a hard time for this, her reputation was further tarnished by a scandal after the game. During her time, she had formed an alliance with fellow contestant Keith Tollefson (who isn’t remembered at all) via flirting. Most viewers assumed this was strategy on Whitney’s part, but afterwards, the two became engaged. This would be fine, another romance from the show, if it weren’t for the fact that Whitney was TECHNICALLY married at the time. This didn’t look good, and a subsequent appearance on “The Amazing Race” made her and Keith look like desperate reality-whores, the final nail in the coffin. It’s a bit of a shame. While I was never a big fan of Whitney’s she had some potential (more even than Jim, I’d say, since she was more subtle), and even though I don’t like her personally, she could have been a good all-star.

Most of the rest of the cast is pretty forgettable, and it’s a majority, unfortunately. Still, credit where credit is due, this season produced a LOT of good, memorable characters. Some you wish you could forget, and I do have to detract points for those people, but this season had many standouts who were good, and a decent amount of strategy besides. Is it one of the best casts the show has ever had. No, but it’s pretty decent, with a lot of excellent standouts, so I’d say this is one aspect of the season that does a good job.

Score: 7 out of 10.

CHALLENGES

Usually when I say a season is not beloved by the audience as a whole, I can at least say the challenges are good. This is not the case here. The challenges are complete crap. When they aren’t reused, they either fail to stand out or are just lame overall. Shall I remind you of the “Jack and Jill” challenge of matching masks, or the “Hold the coconut in ropes” challenge? Yeah, not the stuff of “Survivor” legend, or are just stupid and poor to look at in the case of the latter. This season had a couple of good challenges. One involved dismantling a cart to use it as a slingshot, and another had the “building a house of cards” challenge, but with an added balance component. But for every one of these, there’s a “toss the coconut in the hole” challenge. Yeah, this season wins virtually no points in the challenge department. Bland, forgettable, and often not that challenging.

Score: 2 out of 10.

TWISTS

I know I made the joke “A Tale of Two Twinnies” about the finale of “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, but I’m sorely tempted to reuse a similar pun her. “A Tale of Two Twists” this really is, since nearly every player-implemented twist does an incredible job, while the producer implemented twists suck hard. Want to know how bad the producer twists suck? Put it this way: THEY’RE THE SAME AS LAST SEASON! Yep, we’ve got two returning players, Redemption Island still in effect, merge at 12 after the Redemption Island duel, someone comes back at the final five, end of story. Now, if you thought these didn’t work last time, if you think people thought they were a bad idea at the time, imagine how bad they seemed done back to back. This season therefore got off to a bad start in the twist department, since it seemed like a lame rehash of “Survivor Redemption Island”, a season that, to put it mildly, did not go over well with the audience. While Coach and Ozzy were probably ok choices to bring back, people didn’t need to see them, and Redemption Island still had the same problems as it had on its inaugural season. Literally, only two things were done differently. First, only two people were in duels post merge, rather than the three of “Survivor Redemption Island”. Technically an improvement, but that’s like saying a shit sandwich is made slightly better with the addition of ketchup. You’re correct, but you’re still eating a shit sandwich. The other change was that, rather than combine reward and immunity challenges post-merge, the winner of Redemption Island Duels (or occasionally the immunity challenge) chose a member (or members) of the merged tribe to get reward. This is actually not a bad concept, adding a new layer of politics to the game, and, in the case of the duel winner dispensing reward, kept the people on Redemption Island more involved in the game. Sadly, nothing much ever came of this use of politics, and it hasn’t been tried again. A good idea, but one lacking in execution. Also, while a good idea, Redemption Island was not needed to execute it, so suffice to say, the negatives of reusing twists, and particularly THESE twists, greatly outweigh the positives. Oh, and if you thought the Redemption Island twist was stacked in favor of Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”) it was not nearly as bad as being in favor of Ozzy. After all, which contestant holds the record for most individual immunity wins? Ozzy.

But that’s only one half of the coin. We got some good contestant twists, but they were a while coming. Actually, most of the vote-offs were predictable, and the only real surprise, such as it was, was the revelation of Brandon Hantz’ true identity to his tribe, something the audience had known about since before the season, and was so over-the-top that it was hard to take seriously. As you can tell, this was not a season with an auspicious start. Our first real twist comes in episode 5, when Jim and Cochran conspire to overthrow Ozzy, and do so. This is where Jim shines as a strategist, and Cochran starts to come out of his shell. We also get some really good, subtle gameplay from Whitney here. A pretty standard twist in the game, but still a good one.

In episode 7, things really start to get crazy. Basically, the first woman voted out of Upolu, Christine Shields-Markoski, had been winning Redemption duel after Redemption duel (inadvertently showing how broken the Redemption Island twist often is: winner of the first duel usually has a streak of wins), which made Savaii scared. They feared she would go back to Upolu if she won one more challenge, and so they hatched one of the craziest plans ever. They INTENTIONALLY voted Ozzy out at this juncture, after he hands his hidden immunity idol to Cochran to ensure it stays in the game, so he can beat Christine. Let me state here and now that this is a STUPID plan! Sure, it worked out perfectly, and so goes down as brilliant, but imagine, just for a moment, if the winner of the duel HADN’T gotten to go back into the game. Savaii would have been SCREWED! I like Cochran, but he’s no good in challenges (this season) versus Ozzy, the challenge beast. Not to mention that if you DO merge, you’ve offended the guy with the hidden immunity idol, and the most likely swing vote, by berating him for his challenge performance. Not a good position. All this on top of the plan being pointless. Anyone who could listen to and understand English, and read body language, could tell that Christine was NOT happy with Upolu, even going so far as to call Coach “Benjamin” just to piss him off. CLEARLY she would have been on your side. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy Cochran stayed in the game, but this plan could easily have backfired, and it’s pretty much a miracle that it didn’t. While a stupid plan, I will admit that it’s fun to watch the stupid chaos ensue in hindsight. A highlight of the season, but nothing compared to what would happen next.

Episode 8. After a double immunity challenge in which Ozzy and Dawn both won immunity, and with a hidden immunity idol in play, Savaii seemed set to dominate after an even merge between the tribes. Cochran was to play the role of the swing vote to find out what Upolu was up to. Except that he was ACTUALLY a swing vote, and turned on his aggressors. Yes. The biggest moment of South Pacific is Cochran betraying his tribe on a re-vote and getting rid of Keith, after planting false information that Upolu was targeting Whitney. And it is glorious. This is also where the Cochran hate came from, as this was seen as a stupid and cowardly move, done primarily to avoid drawing rocks. I maintain that this was the smartest move Cochran could have made at the time, given the information he was getting from his tribe. Generally, one should not trust the people who were just saying earlier that you should have been voted out. I see waiting for the re-vote to flip not as an avoiding of the purple rock, but a misguided attempt to make the betrayal sting less. It didn’t work, obviously, either for the tribe or for the audience, but an attempt nonetheless. As I said, when it came out how badly Cochran was bullied, he was eased up on, but Jim’s repeating of the word “coward” and Whitney’s “You disgust me.” speeches really took their toll. Still, whether you agree with Cochran’s move or not , it set the tone for the rest of the season. Coach’s alliance was not able to run the table for the rest of the game. There was a surprise double Tribal Council in there, but for the most part the season from there on was predictable.

Well, mostly predictable. There were enough crazy people in the game for random things to happen. The big game-changer was Brandon giving immunity to Albert Destrade, a contestant of absolutely no note, and getting voted out for it. It’s the crowning moment of stupid for Brandon, and while we’d seen this sort of stupidity from Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”) before, and it lost some impact, it was still kind of funny, and a fitting end to Brandon.

Oh, and Ozzy, there was the monkey wrench of Ozzy.

Yes, Redemption Island did its job this time, keeping Ozzy in the game long enough to come back twice (making him the only person voted out three times in one season), and give us a possible foil to Upolu’s plans. After all, if Ozzy makes it to the end, he wins, no question. Quite a bit of drama for the end there. Drama only topped by Ozzy making the final immunity challenge, only to lose on the puzzle to the lovely Sophie, thus explaining part of why she’s beloved. Again, while I’m not a big Ozzy fan, it was nice to see this possibility play out, but not to the obvious conclusion of Ozzy winning.

Not sure if this should count as a twist, but I love the moment, on the aforementioned “house of cards” challenge, where Sophie screws up, and then demands that Albert come over and help her win to beat Ozzy. Didn’t come to fruition, but a fun idea, and a great bit of humor for the final episode.

I’ll talk more about this in a minute, but also a twist is that, although this season played out much like “Survivor Redemption Island”, with a Pagonging by an unsinkable alliance led by a returnee, it did not conclude with a returnee win. Sophie won. She was the best player of the final three, I’d argue. Good twist.

While maybe not jam-packed with contestant twists, South Pacific had a lot more hits than misses in that department. Most contestant twists were good game-changers, and even those that weren’t as good were usually fun to watch. Long dry spells, and predictable Pagonging, and the reusing of twists no one wanted to see again really drag this season’s twists down, though. The degree of goodness of the contestant twists keeps this one above average in the twist department, but just barely.

Score: 6 out of 10.

OVERALL

In terms of theme, you couldn’t be more screwed than being named “South Pacific”. I’ve talked about the problem “Survivor” has with seasons with a theme of “Generic South Pacific Island”, but when your season is actually NAMED “Survivor South Pacific”, you’ve got problems. As if this wasn’t bad enough, the reusing of twists hurt the season in terms of theme as well. As bad an idea as it was to bring back Boston Rob and Russell, you could at least argue that they were connected in some way, tied into the “redemption” idea of Redemption Island. What unified Coach and Ozzy? Nothing. Add that onto the fact that the blatant twist reuse made it seem like the show was out of ideas, and you’ve got a season that’s seeded for failure. And yet it didn’t fail. True, it’s not a beloved season, but it had some good characters and moments that stand out. Maybe not as much as other seasons, and I’d never say this is “Survivor” at it’s best, but on it’s own? Pretty good season. Low end of average I’d say.

So, what are the bad points, apart from the inauspicious start? Well, first off, over time this season did develop a theme. It was a theme about the “morality” of the game, and how to play within those morals. This is not a good theme. It’s preachy and annoying. No one liked it. Having no theme would have been better than this. Additionally while this season had a lot of stand-out characters, it also had a lot of duds, and that can really drag. Remember Rick Nelson? Of course you don’t, he’s almost as forgettable as “Purple Kelly” (“Survivor Nicaragua”), and he was the “Fan Favorite” voted on again! Yeah, no wonder they stopped doing that after Rick. Now, you might say that the number of good characters who made it far is a good thing, since everybody who was memorable made the merge at least. The problem is that by the time you get to the final six, apart from Ozzy, who’s on Redemption Island at this point, the only people who are memorable are Coach, Sophie, and Brandon. This seems fine until you consider that the only LIKEABLE person of these people is Sophie. Not a very auspicious final few. Thank goodness Ozzy was there to give people someone to root for.

Which brings us to possibly the largest weight on the season after the reused twists: the Pagonging. We really needed an unpredictable season, and Cochran’s move was one in the right direction, but the boot order was predetermined after that move. Upolu was the tribe that had one rock solid alliance that would not budge, while Savaii was a lot more willing to cannibalize it’s ranks, thus making for a more interesting end of the season. But Upolu dominated, and so the rest of the season became relatively predictable, especially in hindsight.

With that said, it’s worth noting that this season did a good job of keeping us guessing with the Pagonging. If you’re going to have a Pagonging, play up how likely it is for a flip to happen. And there was talk of flipping, and there was Ozzy the monkey wrench, so while the season ended up a boring Pagonging with a highly unlikeable final 6, it did the best with what it had.

That’s really the best way to sum up South Pacific as a season. It had a lot working against it. Reused twists. An unlikeable ending group. A boring Pagonging. Yet it took those things, used good marketing techniques, mixed in some good characters and contestant twists, and made a season that was perfectly ok. With a few more good characters and less reused twists, this could have been a great season. As it stands, it’s definitely in the lower end of “Survivor”, but I say it’s still a pretty good season.

Score: 22 out of 40.

ABSTRACT

South Pacific is not one of your great seasons, but it does a pretty good job. You’ve got some stand-out moments and people to root for. It is one of your more predictable seasons, but it does a good job covering that up. While not essential to understanding “Survivor” history, I still recommend watching it a couple of times. It’s entertaining enough for the first watch, and there’s some subtle pleasures upon rewatch. If you’ve got the time, it’s definitely worth checking out.