Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Finale: Revenge Over Reason

Welcome back, loyal readers, to “Survivor Kaoh Rong” (a season I can spell more accurately than the editors, evidently. Why has the spell check been off this season?) Episode 10… I mean the “Survivor Game Changers” Finale. Though, given the first part of the episode, you could be forgiven for making that mistake. Think about it: A large, cocky jock talks down to Tai, who runs to Aubry for comfort, and using her skills, she gets him to do what she wants done with his hidden immunity idol. Beat for beat, it’s pretty much the same thing.

After Probst brags about the size of the crowd at the finale, we get to his summation of the season, which is mercifully brief. The only things of note are his summation of the contestants (which we’ll get to in a minute), and one little tricky bit right at the beginning. Now, Probst is no stranger to hyperbole, particularly when recapping a season. So, naturally, he started off his narration with “For the first time, ‘Survivor’ stranded 20 game changers…” and I prepare to rant my head off about how “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” exists, and although I find it to be somewhat overrated, it’s still miles ahead of this particular season. Then, however, Probst saves himself by finishing it off “…in Fiji.” Well played, Probst, well played. Technically a true statement, but you’re REALLY stretching there for a “first”.

Credit where credit is due, though, Probst did do a good job in building up our other player’s chances. A lot of people, myself included, were bemused when both Aubry and Troyzan, people who hadn’t really gotten much screentime, made the finals. How would Probst build them up? Well, I have to say, he actually did a pretty good job of it. He highlighted Troyzan’s idol find and him biding his time, while with Aubry, he highlighted her tenacity. About the best he could do, given the material the editors gave to him.

Onto the episode proper, and we get the fallout from that last Tribal Council where the fine print determined everything. Cirie, naturally, bears the brunt of it. No one period would be pleased with a supposed ally taking their advantage and trying to play it (perceivedly) against them, and let it be said that Sarah is not known for being able to control her temper very well. Naturally, Cirie’s attempts at pointing out that she was trying to do it to protect Sarah fall on deaf ears, and again, who can blame Sarah? Without knowing the information that Cirie knows, she has no proof of what Cirie’s saying, and the scheme was so out there that it’d be ridiculous to believe in any case! The pair do seem to calm down after a bit of talking, but Sarah makes it clear that tensions are still running high. Still, she does try to get all the facts, confronting Tai around the fire about whether he had planned to vote her off. We also find out that the reason Michaela went was due to her being Cirie’s lieutenant. Logical, but it could have been better foreshadowed.

Now, Tai is in a golden spot here. As I said, Cirie’s story is pretty unbelievable, even if it is true in this case. Sarah’s mad at Cirie anyway. All Tai has to do is lie. Just one little lie. Say that he never had any such plans. Cirie takes all the flak, and can’t really do anything about it, since she would NEED Tai for this next vote. But, of course, Tai does the stupid thing, and reveals to Sarah that he did indeed plan to vote for her. Sarah takes it well. And by that, I mean that her rage turns pretty much exclusively on Tai. Way to go, slugger.

In fairness to Tai, he brings up a good point later on about people’s attacking of him. The overarching theme of these vote offs is basically “Tai is a liar who can’t be trusted.” Tai, however, says there’s a double-standard, and that he’s just doing what everybody else has done in this game. And… Yeah. What HAS he done that’s so much more terrible than anyone else? I guess you could make the argument that Tai PRETENDS to be loyal more than some other people, but it’s not like he’s HIDING the fact that he’s talking other strategies with other people. Really, the only factor here is that he’s going after Sarah, the first person to do so in this game, and Sarah isn’t taking it well. That’s not a mark against Tai, though, and I really do feel like the players this episode (not named Aubry and Cirie) unfairly chastise him for just playing the game. Lay off, people.

Much like last episode, our number of players left leaves no time for strategizing, and we hop into our traditional “Maze and Puzzle” challenge, which I like slightly more than others for being colorful, and having a tricky puzzle. It’s a compass rose, but built in a vertical frame, and with pieces that fit multiple places. Not the strongest individual challenge that ever was, but for the standards of this season? I’ll take it. It’s a fairly close-run thing, but Brad Culpepper takes it, making a joke about himself being a brainless jock. Funny, but since he’ll be ACTING like a brainless jock in just a minute, I’m not sure how true that actually is.

The winner also gets an Italian dinner with two other people, so Brad takes Troyzan and Sarah. Now, Troyzan I have no qualms with. The pair are tight, and it would be suspicious of him not to take Troyzan. I can see an argument for leaving a loyal soldier at camp, but again, the suspicion would have been too great. I will, however, dispute the Sarah choice. Granted, both she and Tai serve as swing votes here, but Sarah is mad enough at Cirie that I feel like her vote is a safer guarantee than that of the easily-manipulated Tai. Not the worst choice, but not optimal.

Tai had previously told Brad about his two idols, in an attempt to find safe harbor. Brad, for whom Tai has overall been VERY loyal and a good ally in general, decides not to believe Tai, but does offer him a deal: He’ll take Tai to the end, but only if Tai plays an idol on himself tonight, and gives the other to Brad for safekeeping. Tai, not being an idiot, is wary of this deal. Leaving aside the fact that we KNOW that in this scenario, Brad plans to blindside Tai after this vote, giving up one of your idols for NO REASON is a terrible idea in any scenario.

Oh, but the stupidity here is not limited to Tai. Let’s say that Brad’s plan had worked, and Tai had given Brad an idol, which he then would not have returned, and not had a “non-transferrable” clause to fall back on. Then you have an INCREDIBLY pissed-off juror, with a jury that’s not a guarantee for you in any case. Plus, Brad approaches Tai in COMPLETELY the wrong way, strongarming and ordering him around. Where else does this send him to but the arms of Aubry, that comforting voice that tells him to do what’s best for HIM, which is exactly what he wants to hear. Brad really did need to watch more of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. History repeating itself.

The only true wrinkle in the plan is Cirie, coming up to apologize to Tai for bungling the last Tribal Council. Normally adding Cirie to any strategy would help equate to its success, but in this case, Aubry is the superior choice, and so Cirie is shooed off. Say what you will about Aubry, she is GOOD at working Tai. I feel like she’s good at working other people, but as I’ll get to during her exit, she just had no shot at it.

Of course, we all know that Aubry’s going. Any pretense of Tai working with her is thrown out when she describes him as a “rat” at our first Tribal Council. These are not the words of someone trying to ensure a swing vote stays on their side. Again, this is probably the most interesting of the Tribal Councils of the night, but all the witty banter is overshadowed by the fan-dubbed “Advantage-Geddon”. Proving once and for all why Aubry is awesome, Tai gets up and plays BOTH of his idols, one for himself and one for Aubry. The one for himself I get. There’s the very real possibility he could be targeted tonight. But why Aubry? She’s not strategically important to him. The most he can hope to do is make a 3-3 Tai. The only logical explanation is that Aubry played him again, and got him to save her. And yet we see next to nothing of her all season. Great choice, editors!

We’re not done yet, though. Sarah plays her legacy advantage, which I’m amazed it took her so long to do (there’s literally no advantage to NOT playing it). This, of course, gets Troyzan skittish, and so he plays HIS idol, leading to a non-hyperbolic “Survivor” first. No votes are read, not because someone was the obvious boot due to their gameplay, but because there was LITERALLY only one choice. With three idols played, and five people immune, Cirie is the ONLY person who can be voted out. Of course, we need ceremony for this. Probst eulogizes her as he has few players. And if a player is deserving of it, it’s Cirie. I’m not the world’s biggest Cirie fan, but I still respect her game, and all she’s accomplished through playing “Survivor”. She’s definitely one of the greats, and probably my vote for “Greatest to Never Win” at this point, so it makes sense. I just wish it didn’t go ON for so long! Look Cirie deserves respect, but this is overkill.

All that said, I am sorry to see her go. She was probably playing the best game out of the lot left (yes, even my beloved Aubry), and added a nice dynamic to our remaining finalists. She is sorely missed, even if she did get the honor of being the one to say “the tribe has spoken”.

Now, I’ll admit, I did PREDICT this scenario, but not how it would come about. This episode was advertised as having a “‘Survivor’ First”, and many correctly predicted that with FIVE immunity advantages left, that this would mean that one person would be left without immunity and go home. I too subscribed to this theory, but after the immunity challenge, I thought not. I underestimated Aubry’s sway over Tai. I figured Aubry (or possibly Cirie) would HAVE to win immunity, leaving Tai to play an idol on himself and Brad, and combined with Troyzan’s idol and the legacy advantage, this would leave one persons left. Thank God it came down the way it did, since otherwise it would have been completely predictable. As it stands, we get fun, organized chaos that came about as a combination of twists and STRATEGIZING rather than just twists, making it infinitely superior to most of the season.

Oh, and yes, Tai DID save Aubry with that move, making Aubry’s manipulation of him all the more important. True, the vote was 3-2-1 in favor of Sarah going home, but that legacy advantage was getting played. I don’t see a scenario in which Tai DOESN’T play an idol on himself, meaning that without Tai, the one vote for Aubry would have been enough.

And another “Survivor” first: Cirie is the first person to be voted off without ever receiving a single vote against them on that season (no, Jonathan Libby and Wanda Shirk from “Survivor Palau” don’t count).

You’d think, with Aubry and Tai now scrambling, that we’d get some intriguing strategy post-Tribal Council. You clearly haven’t noticed production’s need to stick as many people as possible into the finale. Our immunity challenge today comes courtesy of “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, involving passing a ball through obstacles with paddles into an ending tube. First player to nab three balls wins immunity. Again, a very difficult challenge, and intricate, but it loses out to the first one due to scale. Also, while I can understand going back to a “Survivor” staple like a maze, going back to “Survivor San Juan del Sur” is a mistake. Not the worst season, but you can do better.

Brad wins again, with Probst commenting on how Brad is now one win away from tying the record of five immunity wins in a given season. Gee, thanks for spoiling the outcome of the next immunity challenge, Probst!

Aubry, however, is not done just yet. Granted, Sarah has a final three pact with Brad and Troyzan (formulated over their meal earlier), and since all Sarah really needs to do is GET to the end, there’s no incentive to break from that. Especially when you consider that Aubry is the one person left who might beat Sarah in the end. I can understand how it’s appealing for Tai. With the way Brad is treating him, it’s logical to assume that he’s lost that alliance. So, Sarah is the one who needs convincing. Aubry’s pitch is that since Brad and Troyzan won’t budge from each other, this gives Tai and Sarah each only a 50-50 shot at the finals. All things considered, not a bad pitch, given where she’s at. Aubry really has few cards on the table, and this is about her most convincing argument. However, it ultimately reads like Terry Deitz’s “Stress-free weeks” pitch from “Survivor Exile Island”. It’s weak at best, but ultimately could anyone else find a better pitch. You see, the flaw in Aubry’s pitch is that 50-50 ain’t bad odds, especially when Sarah in particular has an inroad with that pair. Again, I can see why TAI would want to go with Aubry. At this point, it would probably be his smartest move. Sarah, though? No chance.

Yet it’s TAI who suggests not going with the plan, citing Aubry as a jury threat. Ok, can’t fault the logic there, but Tai at this point is pretty much out of the running, so he might as well go with the people who WANT to work with him and take him to the final three. Sarah, continuing her theme of flexibility, agrees to do whatever Tai wants. What Tai wants, however, changes quite frequently, especially when Brad doubles down on his assholery to Tai. Again, the correct move for Tai is to vote out Troyzan (the only option, as Brad is immune), but I still don’t quite get Sarah’s stake in this.

It’s a fortunate thing that we have Tai playing with his emotions, as evidenced by that last Tribal Council, since otherwise, there’s no tension here. No witty banter, and as I said, Aubry’s pitch was flimsy at best. Sure enough, she goes home, but she should be damn proud of herself. She made top five, after coming into the season with arguably one of the biggest targets on her back. True, she didn’t win her season, but she was perceived as winner-caliber, and her season was the most recent one seen, and with the most returnees. Plus, she never really seemed to get her footing in the game, so for her to still scheme and plot her way this far? Damn straight it’s impressive! Shame on the editors for not giving us her story. Oh, and there WAS a story there! I don’t normally advocate watching the bonus confessionals for all but the most die-hard fans, but Aubry’s are worth a watch. The woman had good stuff to say; you should have shown it! Not a bad placing, all things considered, though, and I eagerly await a third chance for Aubry.

So, remember how copying an immunity challenge from “Survivor San Juan del Sur” was a bad idea? Yeah, still not the worst of the episode. That honor goes to our Final Immunity Challenge, a beat-for-beat recreation of the one from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, a FAR worse season than “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. Players run through a vertical “maze” retrieving bags of puzzle pieces with keys. They periodically go up a tower and down a water slide for more keys. Once they have the puzzle pieces, they assemble a lighthouse. The only new element is having to undo a combination lock to get the final piece after the rest of it is assembled, because we haven’t seen THAT before! Apart from committing the cardinal sin of not being an endurance challenge, this one is just generic when it isn’t stupid (I will never be ok with water slides on “Survivor”). Really a poor way to end the season, even given everything else that’s already happened.

After Brad’s inevitable win, he of course does the smart thing and targets Sarah, being his only real competition this season… Or he decides to go for Tai because he’s pissed at him. Ok, time to talk about Brad. I’ll admit it: he by and large won me over this season. He played a much better social game this time around, and even had an overall better strategic game. But this episode REALLY soured me on him. As I mentioned in the Debbie blow-up episode, while I think we may have jumped the gun in calling Brad “sexist” during “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, I wasn’t prepared to dismiss the charge entirely, since his manner of speaking could intimidate people, and possibly cause the aforementioned beliefs. And he REALLY showed his bad side this episode. Apart from a loss of strategic thinking, Brad is now treating someone he NEEDS very poorly, and it’s just wrong. Once Aubry and Cirie were gone, in my opinion it came down to a game of Brad vs. Sarah. I went back and forth on who I would want to win in this scenario, since both were very similar to me. Both have personal lives that I wasn’t too big a fan of (Brad for being rich and domineering, Sarah for being a Trump supporter), but that shouldn’t really be a factor. Both had games I wasn’t too fond of on their first outing, but improved this time around. Sarah played the more dominant game strategically, but she also had several advantages. Conversely, Brad was never in quite as dominant a position as Sarah, but also didn’t piss as many people off, and I could admire him playing from the bottom. All that said, coming into this episode, and guessing correctly that Cirie and Aubry were doomed, I was prepared to hope for a Brad Culpepper victory. This episode changed my mind. The arrogance ruined his social game, and a place at the end coming primarily from well-timed immunity wins does not a legend make. Plus, for all that Sarah rubbed some people the wrong way, she played well enough to betray someone yet STILL get the legacy advantage, so it’s not like she was horrible. Really, my only qualm with a Sarah victory is if people start citing this as evidence that her loss in “Survivor Cagayan” was only due to Kass. Look, I’m not going to say Kass wasn’t a factor, but Sarah played pretty awfully there. “President Lacina” is not what you want to be saying tow in friends and influence people.

Still, this Tribal Council DOES give us the best misdirection. The hatchet having evidently been buried, Tai suggests to Sarah that they take their fate into their own hands, rather than letting Brad and Troyzan control everything, and force a tie with Troyzan, leading to fire-making. This… Is actually a good idea for both. It shows that one didn’t just walk behind Brad Culpepper the entire time, and takes at least SOME agency back into their hands. Sure, Brad and Troyzan are probably telling you you’re safe, but of COURSE they’re saying that. Better to go with what you can predict.

This does not happen, however, and Tai is voted out in a boring Tribal Council. He’s another weird one where I’m both sorry and not sorry to see him go. I can’t say Tai brought NOTHING to the table, but I feel like we got enough Tai for a while. That said, I wish he hadn’t gotten such a thrashing this episode. The guy’s a decent-enough player. He really deserved better.

So, our finalists are Sarah, Brad, and… Troyzan? Are you sure there was a Troyzan on this season? I mean, I’m sure he’d give some weak argument about hanging in there and making good social bonds. But, we all know that with this jury, that now leans heavily towards the strategic, there’s no way that would hold water…

So, our finalists are Sarah and Brad. They talk about their strengths over generic shots of the finalist’s breakfast and burning some crates at camp. Sarah does her “cop and criminal” metaphor again, but swears to be honest at Final Tribal Council. Should she temper that honesty with tact, I can applaud this. Brad touts his challenge victories and good relationships as his key to winning. Pre-Tai, I would have agreed with this. Post-Tai, not sure the social game is how you want to go, buddy.

Our Final Tribal Council is noteworthy in that we finally get to find out what that “Jury Twist” Probst was promoting was. It’s… Underwhelming. Basically, rather than ask individual questions, Probst asks the players to have an open forum with the finalists about each aspect of the game, and what their thoughts are in that area. Now, I’m sure this gets a lot of hate, if only because many “Survivor” purists are resistant to change, I have to ask: is it really that big of a change? True, it gets Probst more involved in Final Tribal Council, which does rub me the wrong way, and I wouldn’t blame anyone for hating it for that alone. Still, the jury is the jury, and if there’s something on their minds, they’ll find a way to work it in, regardless of Probst’s categories or not. And those categories? They cover just about every aspect one could possibly vote on: Physical game, survival game, social game, strategic game. My point here is that while it is kind of yucky that Probst is leading a discussion, instead of acting with discretion, we’re really not getting anything that different from a usual jury. Heck, my thought was that, due to the number of unanimous votes of late, Probst would simply have the jury confer and cast one ballot for a consensus winner, which would have undermined “Survivor”. All that being said, this DOES mean we miss out on the hilarity of jury questions, so while I don’t think this is the worst, I’d prefer to go back to the old format after this season. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

That being said, we do get a sense of where the jury’s coming from. Troyzan, as mentioned, is pretty much out of it, though people like Aubry and Andrea do try and get him to argue for a Sandra-type game. He takes it in good grace, and joking aside, the guy is a GREAT sport about the whole thing, and should be commended for that alone. Troyzan aside, Sarah seems to be the frontrunner, with most praising her strategic game but point out that her ease in deception rubbed many of them the wrong way. This would be the point where Brad steps in, but he doesn’t come off so good either, getting lambasted for his treatment of Tai, and doing himself no favors when Michaela (who was very restrained tonight), asks him what he knows about her, and he can only rattle off the most basic facts. In fairness to Brad, he was never really allied with Michaela, but the fact remains that he still didn’t know her in quite as much detail as needed, and comes off looking bad as a result.

And yet, for all that the jury as a whole favored Sarah, the vote was still as close as it’s been since “Survivor One World” five years ago. And by that, I mean Sarah wins 7-3. A deserving winner for her game, and I wouldn’t mind seeing her back, but she’ll never be one of my favorites. I’m just too big a Kass fan, I guess. And Brad knew, as well. For all his cockiness in-game, you could tell by the look on his face at the vote read, he knew he had lost it.

Still, Sarah did bring us the best reunion show I’ve seen in a while. Oh, yes, they actually did it pretty well this time! True, we still didn’t hear from as many people as I’d have liked, but we hit a lot of the highlights at least briefly, got some good stuff from Sarah, and the hilarity of Brad trying to avoid being told that, had he put pride aside and voted out Sarah at the final four, he’d likely have won, was great. It’s fun to see Probst get thrown off of his game, at least when not done by Sia. Plus, we FINALLY get the reveal of what happens in the event of a tie. It’s a question many “Survivor” fans have been wondering since we moved beyond seven person juries and a final two. The answer is pretty much what most of us guessed. The person left out of the tie casts a deciding vote. Underwhelming, but probably the fairest answer I could come up with. What’s interesting to me is that Probst seemed to imply that the vote would have happened the night of the Final Tribal Council, rather than at the reunion show. This makes sense, since otherwise the edit would have had an impact on the vote, but I do wonder how that would have been shown. It would have cut out a lot of the tension from the reunion show, knowing ahead of time that everything came down to one vote. And yet, we STILL don’t know what happens if there’s a tie at only the final two, like what could have happened in “Survivor Micronesia”.

Really, the only minor misstep of the reunion show is the Zeke/Varner stuff. I’m a proponent of the idea that CBS as a whole handled the incident as tactfully as they could at the time, and I was happy to see both Varner and Zeke at the reunion show. That said, it REALLY didn’t need to be brought up. Whereas before it was an integral part of the game that needed to be talked about, now it did feel like ratings bait. And you could tell that Zeke in particular was uncomfortable with the whole thing, eyes darting back and forth pretty much the whole time. Varner did pay homage to Zeke being the real victim, and I don’t want to pile on angst to a guy who’s dealt with enough already, but MAN after that pat note did he focus on himself. The book deal, in particular, was unnecessary. All that said, though, if they were going to talk about it, they still did it ok, making sure to emphasize that what Varner did was wrong and pretty much condemning him for it.

Oh, and there’s the next season. “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”. I hate this title. It’s clunky, and does nothing to hide the fact that this is a rehash of the “Collars” twist from “Survivor Worlds Apart”. They even have the same freaking buff colors! The cast, from what we saw in the preview, didn’t look like anything special, but didn’t look bad either, so I’ll reserve my judgement for a full cast announcement. Still, “Survivor HvHvH”, as I will hereinafter call it, is starting off on thin ice. Oh, and Jeff? I get how “Hero” and “Healer” could be positives, but I don’t think “Hustler” really qualifies.

All that said, it’s time for the traditional…

TOP 5, and… THAT’S IT?

Yes, partly because I am tired, this season only gets a “Top 5” list with no honorable mention on it. However, this is not due solely to laziness, but also to the fact that my subject this time, in honor of the fallen jury questions, is, well, jury questions. They’ve been a staple of “Survivor” since the beginning, and even if they have gotten bland over the years, the best still need acknowledging. Since a “Bottom 5” list would pretty much be “See seasons 31-present”, there’s no real point in doing it. Only other point to note is that the ANSWER to the question will be a factor in the best jury questions. That said, let’s get started with…

5. “The Right Place for the Wrong Reasons” (“Survivor Samoa”): The only double-digit season to make this list, Erik Cardona’s jury speech, decrying Russell Hantz for being an awful human being while praising Natalie White for recognizing this and playing him for a sap falls into the “So bad, it’s good” category for me. It’s SO over the top and SO ridiculous that I can’t help but love it! Plus, it’s bashing Russell Hantz, which I can always get behind.

4. “Day at the Races” (“Survivor Vanuatu”): When I do a list for the best Final Tribal Councils ever, “Survivor Vanuatu” would definitely be near the top. It combines emotion and strategy beautifully, with a fascinating master class in BS courtesy of Chris Daugherty. That said, very few of the individual jury speeches stand out. Combined, they work great. Individually, they’re just ok. Sarge’s speech takes it, though, for successfully fooling me into believing that Chris might NOT have his vote on lockdown. Props, good sir.

3. “Anyone ELSE Deserving” (“Survivor The Amazon”): One of your stock jury questions is “Who on the jury should be sitting there instead of you/your opponent?”, and would therefore escape my notice, were it not for Heidi Strobel’s version of it in “Survivor The Amazon”. You see, Heidi had REALLY wanted to use this question to make finalists Jenna and Matthew pander to her. Instead they pandered to Rob, and Heidi was VERY upset about it, blatantly leading them on until Probst had to shut it down for being too much even for him.

2. “Rats and Snakes” (“Survivor Borneo”): Yeah, you knew this was coming. It’s a classic for a reason. It’s got drama. It’s distinctive. It pretty accurately summarized the game up until that point. Really, the only reason it’s not number one is that it’s just too overplayed at this point. Still, there’s a reason we have the “Order of Sue-Hawk-abies” on this blog. People just can’t resist a metaphor-filled diatribe.

1. “The Hyena and the Mush” (“Survivor Africa”): Sometimes you want a deep jury question that really throws things up in the air. And sometimes you want a curveball question for humor’s sake. Tom Buchanan delivers in that department, giving us a completely random and pointless question about a hyena licking its butt after eating the corn mush at camp, purely because his vote was already decided, and he just wanted to dick around with the finalists. There’s something about the insanity and irreverence that just appeals to me, and makes this the most memorable jury speech in my mind.

Now, on to the other tradition of this blog, noting how WRONG I was in my pre-season predictions!

Jeff Varner-We start off with a partial victory. He did last about as long as I thought, but he was more of a strategic presence than I guessed, and I could not have told you the manner of his exit, since I avoid spoilers.

Sandra-Pretty much right, although I do give her credit for being more of a power-player this time around than I could have predicted.

Cirie-Wrong. While I was right that she would be underestimated on the whole, she DID do a good job lasting after the merge, and staying the powerhouse a lot longer than I guessed.

Ozzy-Wrong about time in the game, right in that he’s still as dull as a sack of hammers.

J.T.-Wrong. Played much worse than I though, and as a consequence went out much earlier.

Andrea-Wrong. While I’m still no fan of hers, she DID prove that she’s got some chops on her, even if this is TECHNICALLY her worst performance in terms of placing.
Troyzan-Wrong again. Man, that’s a pattern tonight. The man lasted much longer than I thought, though I was right about his overall impact on the game.

Malcolm-Wrong, though in my defense, NO ONE could have predicted that stupid twist Tribal Council.

Brad-Wrong. Like I said before, guy really proved what he was capable of this time around.

Ciera-Even though I didn’t say she’d be first out, I’ll still give myself this one. I said she’d go early, and personality and reason for exit went pretty much to the letter of what I said.

Sarah-Wrong. Definitely a contender for Brad for “Most Improved”. Though she didn’t know the real reason behind her exit on “Survivor Cagayan” as I predicted.

Tony-Right, for once this blog.

Hali-She went out a bit earlier than I expected, but I’d say I was right otherwise.

Sierra-Sort of a reverse Hali. She still behaved as I expected, but lasted slightly longer than I thought she would.

Caleb-Wrong in that he went out sooner, but I don’t think I overestimated him too much in terms of strategy.

Debbie-She was pretty crazy (who would have guessed), and I GUESS she qualifies as a mid-merge boot, so yeah, I’ll give myself this one.

Tai-Wrong. Dude went WAY farther than played better than I’d have thought.

Aubry-Yeah, she didn’t win, but again, I think she did exceptionally well considering her start to the season. I’ll give myself this one.

Michaela-While I don’t think I overestimated her strategic capabilities, I did underestimate her time in the game. She got me there.

Zeke-We fortunately got nice Zeke this time around, so he played better and lasted longer than I guessed.

“Survivor Game Changers” as a whole is a mess, plain and simple. It was a poorly-conceived all-stars season, that loses out even to the ACTUAL “Survivor All-Stars” due to the latter at least paying better tribute to seasons pasts. Twists were thrown out left and right such that the status quo never got established, thus neutering such shake-ups. We had a few good episodes here and there, and things definitely picked up towards the end of the season, when the twists stopped coming and we could actually follow what was going on. But then we also have the Zeke outing episode and an underwhelming final three. I’m not saying that developing new characters is bad, or that we’d only have been happy if our favorites were in the end. But look who we lost: Aubry and Cirie, arguably two of the most popular players left in the end. And who’d we end up with? “This is My Island!”, “Fuck You Brad Culpepper”, and “President Lacina”. Not that these people didn’t earn their way to the end, nor did they play bad games, but they’re just not people we’re inclined to root for. All that said, I don’t think this is an AWFUL season. I’d just put it in the realm of below “Survivor South Pacific” and above “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, where it’s still technically GOOD, but there’s much better stuff to offer. Here’s hoping that “Survivor HvHvH” is at least better than its title.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Episode 11: No, Cirie

Tonight the role of lightning will be played by Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”). Now, as we all know, lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same spot, hence Cirie’s downfall this episode. Granted, Tai was a worthy understudy to the role, but in the end, there can only be one king of stupid “Survivor”. Well, two if we include Brandon Hantz (“Survivor South Pacific”). And I suppose Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”) would have to be in there as well. Boy, this is harder than I thought. Look, let’s just all agree that no one can replace Erik, and leave it at that.

Oh, and those user agreements no one ever bothers to read? The ones that could have you selling away your firstborn child and you’d never know it? How much you want to bet that Cirie will be reading EVERY WORD of those from now on?

In the great debate of “Who’s Dumber?”, our contestants were Sierra, for talking about an advantage they will to other people to the person with the power to vote them out, or Sarah, for assuming that she would be able to vote someone out and still have them will her the advantage. The answer, as it turns out, is Sierra, who despite going home 6-3, doesn’t realize in the moment that Sarah pretty much HAD to have voted for her (she couldn’t vote for herself, and the likelihood that TWO people out of the Tai-Brad-Troyzan thing flipped on her is madness), and wills Sarah the legacy advantage. Of course, Sarah gave her a study in overacting, but I’d hardly call that a fair exchange.

Like all good overacting, this exchange did not go unnoticed. Both Andrea and Aubry were aware of it, and don’t like what it portends. Aubry in particular notes that Sarah was trying to pander to Sierra. Of course, she doesn’t pick up on the legacy advantage, but I’ll let it slide as she has no way of knowing about it. This gets both of their hackles up, and Andrea in particular in gung-ho to eliminate Sarah next. They float the idea to Cirie, whom you’d think would be on board with this. After, Cirie is one of those players who doesn’t really need to think about who they can beat in the end. So long as they have a solid path to the end, they’re fine. Granted, I can see how Cirie would value Sarah, particularly since Sarah told Cirie about her vote steal, but with Aubry, Andrea, and Michaela, three OBSCENELY loyal soldiers at her side, Cirie can go along with the plan, get rid of the advantages that Sarah now holds, and thereby clear her path to victory. However, Cirie does not do this, instead asking in confessional whether now is the right time to blindside Sarah.

Wow, this is an interesting dilemma! Surely, we should be spending this time delving deep into the pros and cons of each side, leading to several intense strategy debates that CHALLENGE TIME!

Go-Rammit! This is what I HATE about the current trend of smashing two episodes into one: We basically go one short scene-Immunity Challenge, with no time for nuance or in-depth targeting. We leave all of the time after the immunity challenge to do the heavy lifting, which I suppose is better than nothing, but still, feels like a misuse of time.

We enter this challenge with Aubry attempting her best George Takei “Oh My!” (keep working on that one, Aubs.), and we find, much to my chagrin, that it’s yet another immunity challenge that’s reused from a previous season. A difficult one that we haven’t seen in four years, at least, but reused nonetheless. Each player will try to build a house of cards on a wobbly platform, with the first person to reach a certain marker winning immunity. First seen on “Survivor Gabon”, this version of the challenge was first seen on “Survivor South Pacific”, and is well-remembered for Sophie yelling at Albert to help her win after his stack drops. As I say, it’s also insidiously difficult, with a lot of good back-and-forth to keep us guessing. All that being said, it’s still a reused challenge, and difficult or not, I stand behind my views on it from “Survivor Gabon”: It’s not “challenge” material.

Remember that good back-and-forth I said helped make this challenge at least somewhat entertaining? Yeah, throw that out the window. There’s a few close competitors, but you can tell from the beginning that this challenge is all about Aubry. And no, this is the fanboy in me coming out again, the show focusses on her as well. Even if she hadn’t won, I doubt her fangirling over her “boyfriend” Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”) wouldn’t have been shown, but with Probst talking about Cochran’s record 17-minute stack, and focussing on how well Aubry is doing, should give people a clue that Aubry wins this challenge. Sure enough, Michaela and Andrea keep losing their stacks, and as they were Aubry’s only real competition, she wins in a record breaking six minutes. Good for her. Nice to see her get SOME glory, given that she’s been all but invisible this ENTIRE SEASON! Seriously, Aubry makes it to the final episode, and you couldn’t give us more of her underdog storyline? I’ve watched the secret scenes; you HAD the material. And yet you didn’t put it in the episode proper? Shame on you.

This win, while nice, continues the overall trend of people winning immunity who don’t seem to need it. Brad was the target, and Aubry intends to keep it that way. Aubry now seems to be realizing that while she’s been playing a better emotional game, certainly pissing fewer people off, she says that winning immunity is enough for now. I’d complain that an immunity win isn’t really much of a resume builder… So I will. Look, Aubry, despite how I’m going to contradict myself later, one immunity isn’t enough. I know that a late-game immunity streak helped Michele to win on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, and I get taking a leaf out of her book, but that wasn’t ALL she had. You MIGHT be able to argue an underdog story, with how you could never find a solid alliance, but that might backfire. Getting out Sarah, apart from being a strategic move to point to, would get out someone you can’t really trust. The much better move overall. Aubry cools down Andrea’s head, though, and plants the target firmly on Brad, as more of a challenge threat, while Troyzan is more of the likable threat. If you’re going to target one of those two, that’s the way to go, since not only is Brad a greater challenge threat, I’d argue he’s more of a social threat. Troyzan may be likable, but Brad is the glue that brings people together. Hence, more liked at the end. I get that there’s the whole “already a millionaire” angle, but really, I’m starting to wonder how much of a factor that really is. If Brad can make people like him as much as they have, I doubt his money will matter that much.

Had the debate ended there, we might have been in for a boring episode. However, Andrea just can’t resist trying to plant seeds out doubt in Cirie’s mind, bring up Sarah’s duplicity at every available opportunity. Unsurprisingly, this has the opposite effect, with Cirie now being wary of how much power Andrea is seizing for herself, and why she’s so determined to out an ally of Cirie’s. Hence, Cirie considers getting rid of Andrea instead. Now, as I made clear, in the debate of Sarah vs. Brad, the correct answer was Sarah, since she was a swing vote with too much power, and was unneeded by Cirie at this point. However, in the case of Andrea vs. Brad, I feel like the correct answer is still the person who isn’t Brad. Now, this might seem weird, since I was first advocating that Cirie go with what Andrea wanted, but am now saying she should go AGAINST Andrea. Here’s the deal: If you’re not going to eliminate Sarah and her advantages, that means you want her as an ally on your side. This means that she needs to be kept happy, and we know that Sarah has been itching to vote out Andrea for a while now, meaning that you’d have to grant her wish at some point. Add onto that the fact that Andrea has been actively targeting Sarah, and you can see why that move now makes sense for Cirie.

While all this is going on, Michaela shows just how much of a strategic mind she is by suggesting that Brad Culpepper go gather some fish. Um, ok? Clearly SOMEONE’S thinking all the time. In fairness, Michaela does say that she’s doing this so they have a stock of food following Brad’s exit, and what’s unsaid is this keeps him distracted and unable to form a counter-plan/look for the idol. Brad, for some reason, takes this as blackmail. Look, I get that Michaela sounded kind of weird when asking him to go fish, and there may have been a “don’t look for the idol” motive here, but jumping to blackmail that quickly seems a bit extreme. And once again, this means we get a scene from the preview that was built up to extremes that ultimately amounted to NOTHING!

Our first Tribal Council of the night can in many ways be seen as a microcosm of this two part episode. The first half is ok. Nothing super exciting, but some decent strategic talk. But that second half is just GREAT! After the aforementioned strategic talk, we get into a debate about whether emotion, strategy, or some combination therein will win the day. Sarah advocates for strategy, making the argument that on a season called “Game Changers”, however bad that moniker may be, strategy would be reward. Aubry provides the counterpoint, noting that people are people, and voting them out hurts their feelings. This also serves as a bit of a jab at Sarah’s earlier transparent attempt at pandering to Sierra, even if it did work in the short term. Andrea provides us our middle ground, saying that she would hope strategic gameplay is rewarded, but also acknowledging that emotion cannot be taken out of the equation. Which one reigns supreme depends on the jury, and this one’s a bit of a mixed bag. For the makeup it is now, I feel like three of the people (Hali, Zeke, and Sierra) would favor strategic gameplay, but the others (Ozzy, Debbie) would go more based on emotion. Jumping ahead a bit, our next two boots put one in each category, so this is probably going to be one of the harder juries to predict in a while, which will make my ranking at the end of the blog probably the hardest I’ve ever had to do. But what I find particularly interesting is just how much the winner of each of these player’s respective seasons influenced how they view the jury. “Survivor Cagayan” was won by Tony, a player who had some bad blood on his hands, but played a much better strategic game than his counterpart, and thus, Sarah feels that strategy will be favored. Conversely, “Survivor Kaoh Rong” was won by the person who was better liked, rather than the person with the most (overtly) strategic game. “Survivor Caramoan”, being Andrea’s most recent season, was won by the aforementioned John Cochran, who was both better liked socially and had more of a strategic game than his opponents. You could argue that Boston Rob’s win on “Survivor Redemption Island”, also fits into this category. Not sure much of anything will come of it, since each jury is different, but I do find it interesting that we get people arguing all the time that people will play like the person who won their season, yet here we see that it also influences how they view the jury.

We end off with the return of Brad Culpepper Math! Yes, he’s been hiding it well all season, but Brad’s not so hot when it comes to math. Recall that it was basic math that eliminated him on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. Here, he makes the tried-and-true argument that in a fivesome, someone’s on the bottom, and needs to flip at the seven before it’s too late. A worthy-enough argument, but Brad, you may have noticed that there are EIGHT people left. That means you can be eliminated, and the people on the bottom don’t REALLY need to care.

Sadly, the good part of this Tribal Council ends with the misdirection. As I said, Andrea is the better strategic move, and given her screen time… Yep, there’s her torch getting snuffed. While she did play a good strategic game this time around, I can’t say I’m too sorry to see her go. Good strategy is always appreciated, but Andrea just isn’t that big of a personality to make me like her, and she’s no genius, just slightly above-average. Point being, her performance has not erased my desire to see “Survivor Redemption Island” expunged from history, and until that happens, I’m not sure I’ll ever be fully on board with her. To her credit, though, she did play well, and on this season, that’s a rarity.

Speaking of playing well, Aubry at first seems like she’ll once again pull off a textbook performance for how to handle the people who just blindsided you, congratulating them at Andrea’s blindside. For all that Aubry had some good moments and victories in the first half, though, this is where she falls apart. In case you’ve forgotten, Aubry can get… emotional. Personally, I find this endearing, but Aubry getting teary-eyed here, when she’s shown she can tough through this sort of thing seems a bit off-kilter. A shame to see such a great player drop down here. To her credit, though, it’s only in confessional, and even then not really that much of a cry. It ends with her joking about her allies once again getting the axe, which is a humorous way to transition back into the episode.

Say, you know what storyline has been REALLY going well, but getting no attention? The “Survivor Kaoh Rong” people! All pre-season, everyone was worried for them. They took up a fifth of the cast, and mostly seemed to be pretty close (Debbie and Aubry notwithstanding). And yet, they’ve managed to maintain their distance from one another, and no one’s looking at them as a pre-made alliance. Sure, Sandra made that argument, but she’s SANDRA! Of course she’ll try and put the target on anyone but herself! Sure would be a shame if they screwed it up now!

Yep, Tai goes over to comfort Aubry, which is a nice scene to see. Unfortunately, it’s also seen by Cirie, who’s now on the warpath for Tai. Boy, what another compelling storyline! We should get some real good stuff out of this, assuming the immunity challenge doesn’t…

Our second immunity challenge, another repeat, originally comes from “Survivor Exile Island”, with this version most closely mirroring the final four immunity challenge from “Survivor Cagayan”. Everyone stands on top of a large pole and pulls up buckets of water. They then pour said water into bamboo, raising a key. Once they have the key, they use it to unlock puzzle pieces, with the first person to then solve said puzzle winning immunity. A fairly exciting challenge, but mostly because of my fond memories of Kass McQuillen’s comeback in it on “Survivor Cagayan”. It’s an average, reused challenge. No need to dwell on it beyond that.

Fun Fact: Out of the four times variations on this challenge have been run, Cirie has competed in three of them, and only missed out on the fourth because she wasn’t ON that season. And she does just about as well here, though she does get the courage to jump off this time. We sadly get no Kass-like comeback this time around, and the puzzle is difficult enough that everyone seems in it. Brad ends up winning, which, once again, may actually have an impact. Evidently, the theme of immunity this season is “Whoever wins will have no impact, or is Brad Culpepper.” He gets a little cocky about it, and I’ve got to admit, it rubs me the wrong way.

Back at camp, Troyzan reminds us that he has a hidden immunity idol. Meanwhile, Tai gets the bug of big-move-itis, deciding that it’s time for Sarah to go. Again, for him, a good move! It gets rid of a swing vote, putting him in prime position to take that role, and builds up a resume for the jury. He tells his idea to Aubry, who SHOULD be satisfied that, despite being on the chopping block here, she’s now hearing someone else get targeted. Aubry, however, wants to build her own resume, and decides that doing the stupid thing of voting out one of those few people who’ll strategize with you is the PERFECT way to do it. Look, while people tend to overemphasize the whole “big moves” and “resume building” thing, I can sympathize, and tend not to be AS extreme against them as some. They’re not REQUIRED to win the game, as Probst would have you believe, but they do help, and you do need to do SOMETHING to argue your case at the end, even if that something is “Not an asshole”. Aubry, realizing how well it worked in the first half of the episode, runs to tell Cirie about Tai’s targeting of Sarah. Cirie, in turn, brings this to Sarah, who’s not convinced. Sarah trusts Tai more than Aubry, and despite Aubry being a former ally of Sarah’s, I can agree with that sentiment. Come on, Tai’s one of the most trustworthy people out there, and Aubry’s desperate. Cirie, however, remains convinced, and Sarah agrees to give Cirie her advantage to hold as a trust mechanism. I at first think Sarah is repeating the mistakes of Sierra, and agreeing to will Cirie her legacy advantage, but she actually means the vote steal. Not sure how that builds trust, but it’s good for Cirie.

Now we come to probably Cirie’s biggest failure ever in “Survivor”, and I’m including “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”. Because we can never forget the epic mind-screw of Erik Reichenbach, Cirie tries to recreate the magic. She wants to Tai to go, but rightly assumes that he has at least one idol. Thus, he needs to be made comfortable. However, with Sarah, Brad, and Troyzan all presumably voting for Aubry, and no guarantee that Tai won’t flip with them, Cirie would probably need to USE that vote steal to ensure that things go as planned. Plus, then the advantage is gone, and can never be used against Cirie. But Tai is a skittish one, and would probably play an idol if Cirie used the advantage, just to be safe. Therefore, Cirie spins a tale of how Sarah now wants Tai gone, but gave Cirie an advantage to use to steal a vote, and how she will steal Sarah’s vote and use it against Sarah. A bit of a convoluted plan, but not quite as weak as the Erik Reichenbach plan I keep referencing. Plus, Cirie is a great salesperson, and Tai is quite gullible. If Cirie were able to pull this off, her legacy would be cemented for SURE.

There’s really no point in discussing the quips of Tribal Council. We all know the craziness at the end is the best part. True to her word, Cirie pulls out the advantage, and attempts to use it. Sarah calls out that it was her advantage, and we wait for it to be rubbed in her face that this is what happens when you give away advantages willy-nilly. But no! Cirie failed to read the instructions, which indicate that the advantage is non-transferrable! Thus, Cirie’s plan is foiled, and thus begins the talking. Cirie, Michaela, and Sarah huddle up, with Cirie insisting, to no avail, that it was all to save Sarah from Tai. Brad, Tai, and particularly Troyzan try to eavesdrop, while Aubry just sits there, head in hands, doubtless thinking “I have to go through this shit AGAIN?”. We get a lot of strategy talk back and forth, with Sarah opting to use her vote steal on Tai.

Another trend I’m not fully on board with is the idea of “Live” Tribal Councils. True, I think people are more willing to change plans last minute than they were in earlier seasons, but I feel like a lot of the “Live” Tribals we’ve seen are more manipulative editing than actually up-in-the-air votes. That being said, this IS one of those rare Tribal Councils where the vote seems up in the air, and I LOVE it. Let me be blunt: THIS is what the Malcolm boot SHOULD have been. There are twists. There are advantages. But the drama comes from interpersonal dynamics that the PLAYERS brought up due to the advantages, not the other way around. Our chatter here feels natural, not forced, and we get fun chaos rather than manufactured chaos. Sadly, Cirie’s chances now seem nil. Her alliance with Sarah, that she so carefully tended, is doubtless done for, and all because of one simple misreading of instructions.

And yet, Michaela goes home. I still do not have an explanation for this. Did they think that Cirie was less of a challenge threat? Maybe, but then why not go for Aubry, who’s actually WON a challenge this season? I know things were crazy, but this vote just seems out of the blue. I’m temped to put it in the Jeremy Collins Column from “Survivor San Juan del Sur” as an unearned exit, but there’s one key difference that stops it. Jeremy’s boot was an average blindside we didn’t see the strategy for. Here, there’s a REASON why we didn’t get much strategizing: it was caused at the last minute by unforeseeable circumstances. I think Michaela has every right to be pissed at this, with perhaps only Malcolm surpassing her righteous indignation, but with the chaos, the boot still feels more earned.

I am somewhat sorry to see Michaela go. While he story arc was very one-note, it was fun, and someone who expressed their emotions so openly can make good tv. Look at her kick her puzzle to no avail when she loses the second challenge this episode. You can’t help but enjoy her personality. She may not be cut out to win “Survivor”, but I would still love to see Michaela back some time in the future, and she added a lot to the season.

In one more bit of strategy, Brad makes a point of noting to Tai that Aubry and Michaela both voted for him, thereby helping to win Tai back to his side, lest Cirie and Aubry pull him in. And that, right there, is why Brad is more dangerous than Troyzan in that alliance.

Ultimately, a very good episode. As I say, the second boot may have been a bit TOO crazy, and the first half was only kind of ok, but we got a lot more Aubry, some really good strategy, and enjoyable chaos. Overall, a very well-done episode. Sadly, I doubt the finale will continue this streak. With Sarah now estranged from Cirie, and Tai probably wary of joining up with Cirie or Aubry, it looks like our two major strategist left will be the next to go. It is the sad fate of the smart that the dumb and strong will band together to wipe them out, but that’s the nature of “Survivor”. Still, edit and ways to GET to the end aside, who would win in the end. It’s my duty to give you my two cents.

CIRIE: As I said, this is going to be one of the trickier ones to judge, since this jury could swing either way on strategy vs. emotion. That being said, while there’s plenty of room to maneuver with the other five, there’s no question that Cirie wins on either spectrum. Everyone loves her, and she’s considered one of the greatest to ever win. If she DOES get to the end, expect the jury to do nothing but berate the other finalists for letting her get this far. Unfortunately, Cirie shot herself in the foot this episode, pretty much cutting off her only way to the end. She could have had it all, and if she gets there she will, but I doubt that will happen.

SARAH: I’m a bit hesitant to put Sarah so high, since she has burned a few bridges. However, while this jury may end up being more emotion-oriented, I doubt that they’ll ENTIRELY discount strategy. Since Sarah now has the most blatant strategic game left, apart for Cirie, she may do well. Plus, she may be able to mend some bridges with a “personal growth” narrative related to the whole “Outing Zeke” thing. She plays her cards right, she’s probably a millionaire.

AUBRY: Remember, I’m discounting edit and ability to get to the end in this part of the blog. For all that we haven’t’ seen much of her game, Aubry DOES have an underdog story she can pull on. True, she’s been on the wrong side of a lot of votes, and up against the more visible games of Cirie and Sarah, she has no shot. Against the others, though, if she can articulate herself well (and point out Brad’s millions), she might just take it yet. Unfortunately, Aubry’s Catch-22 is that her path to the end and the people she can beat in the end are mutually exclusive. I don’t see Brad and Troyzan letting her in, and since she can’t beat either Cirie or Sarah in the finals, probably doomed.

BRAD: Brad is our social player of the season, and I’d like to have ranked him higher. However, momentum matters, and Brad’s major successes were early game. That, and the remote possibility of his financial status being a factor hurt him and put him this low. Brad Culpepper can win this game (boy, THOSE are words I thought I’d never say), but he needs to play his cards right. He’ll have to articulate his social prowess well, and take out the late-game strategic threats.

TROYZAN: This spot really should be a tie between him and Tai. Both are seen as nothing but semi-likable followers who haven’t made their mark, and anything they do now will probably be seen as too little, too late. Plus, neither can articulate their games very well, so I really can’t find a scenario in which either one wins. I put Troyzan up higher only because he got name “likable” this episode, which has yet to be overtly said about Tai.

TAI: See Troyzan.

Well, I’ve been wrong before, so let’s hope I’m wrong this time. See you at the finale!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Episode 10: ANOTHER F*CKING OBSTACLE COURSE!

Let’s be real here: Coming in, no one expected much of anything from this season. People were upset about a number of the casting choices, and predicted that this season would go down unfortunate avenues with regards to everyone’s favorites. Matters weren’t helped when the season often DID go down those avenues, with only Cirie and Aubry remaining out of those that people really wanted to see again. Plus, then we had unexpected upheavals that left bad tastes in our mouths, notably the bullshit twist that eliminated Malcolm, and the unpleasantness that was Jeff Varner’s exit. Even though the last few episodes post-merge have been alright, they’re definitely not the stuff of “Survivor” legend. I bring this up, not because this episode was spectacular in and of itself, but because this episode did show that even a season that’s as much of a misfire as this one is can still show some skill. This episode did what few can do: It took a boring and predictable plotline that most everyone saw coming, and managed to make it engaging and unpredictable. Before we can get to that, though, it’s time for another…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

I think this might be a record. We have not one, not two, but THREE points from last episode that I neglected to discuss. Two of them are kind of understandable, for reasons I’ll get to shortly, but one of them there’s really no excuse for. During the strategy talk of last episode, there was a brief scene in which Tai and Troyzan agreed to look out for each other. Nothing much would come of this, were it not for the irony that Tai and Troyzan, between them, have THREE idols, meaning that if they were willing to trust one another, they could easily take control. Sadly, the pair do not. I understand why. Without knowing about the other’s idol, and thereby having the potential protection of mutually-assured destruction, it’s a big risk, but as a backseat quarterback, they’d ultimately be more successful, if only they could trust. And THIS is the sort of insight that keeps “Survivor” interesting after all these years.

As to how I justify missing the two other points? Well, I normally stop talking about the episode after the vote happens, and so it would make sense to end my blog there. Barring, of course, that some reaction after the episode merits talking about, and this past episode had just that. Firstly, there was an exchange from the jury wherein Hali referred to those perpetrating the Zeke blindside as “Game Changers”, while Debbie instead preferred to call them “idiots”. There’s much debate as to which interpretation is correct, but only time will tell. Despite Aubry being included in that decision, I’m inclined to go more with Debbie’s interpretation, for the reasons I gave last blog about Zeke’s blindside potentially being a vote too soon. What I find more interesting, though, is the differing philosophies between the twosome that this shows. Hali fully buys into the hype for this season, and probably believes in shouting “BIG MOVES!” as well. She’s looking more at the strategic game. Debbie, on the other hand, takes things more than a little personally, and gets very caught up in that aspect of the game, hence her comments here. I can’t even BEGIN to speculate on how this may play out later in the game, but suffice to say, it provides some fun insight.

Our big story, though, is Michaela, who openly cried after voting off of Zeke. At this point, the reasons behind it have been speculated and analyzed to death, so I feel no inclination to put my oar in the water on this subject. What this DOES do is support my theory that Michaela was MADE to play “Survivor”… in the pre-Rob Cesternino era. I mentioned during “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X.” that Michaela represented a return to older character archetypes, when loyalty, wilderness survival, and challenge ability were what mattered most. Wilderness survival may not be exactly her thing, but I defy you to tell me Michaela isn’t focussed on the other two. In a lot of ways, she’s a female Rupert (“Survivor Pearl Islands”), and so would have fit in during the early days. The trouble is Michaela was simply born too late. Almost 15 years have passed since “Survivor The Amazon”, and the game has moved away from favoring people with that character type. Hence, Michaela’s doom, despite what this episode would indicate. Wearing her emotions on her sleeve, and being upset at voting out a friend? Common in the early days of the show, and not unheard of in this era, but much less common.

Now that we can finally discuss the episode proper, we see that talking is NOT the order of the day here. Tai is probably the most shell-shocked, since not only was he on the wrong side of the numbers, but most of his own ALLIANCE voted against him. He quite politely and calmly asks if they can talk about the reasoning behind the vote, a kind and diplomatic gesture that Andrea basically returns with a big “Eff you!” and shuts down. Tai being Tai, he’s not overly upset about this, but it seems like an unnecessary bridge burn from Andrea.

We then see that Andrea is not opposed to talking to people, just Tai. Astutely realizing that Michaela is probably the person most in need of a pick-me-up after the vote, Andrea tries to console her and bring her back into the alliance. Michaela PLAYS like she’s ok with it, but this being Michaela, she’s not ok with it. You can tell by the glare she shoots over Andrea’s shoulder in one of the better shots of the episode. Yeah, maybe should have considered THAT aspect of the Zeke vote, guys!

The next morning, we get Sierra still scrambling, trying to rebuild that bond with Sarah. To this end, Sierra tells Sarah about the legacy advantage, describing it as an immunity idol that can only be used at the final six. Now, I’m not normally one to advocate telling huge whoppers about the power of an advantage, since they’re so easily seen through, but here, I don’t see why Sierra DIDN’T play it up, make it out to be a Super-Idol or something. Zeke, the ONLY person who could contradict your story, is gone, so there’s really no way for anyone left in the game to call your bluff! That being said, how Sierra frames it still makes it powerful, and sharing secrets like this CAN be a good way to build a bond, especially since Sierra implies that she’ll share the benefits of the advantage with Sarah without ever actually PROMISING anything. Had Sierra stopped there, she would have at worst done nothing and at best gained a potentially ally on the inside to help her flip the numbers. This being Sierra, however, she goes and screws it up by also mentioning the “Will” part of the legacy advantage. No, not the part where Will Wahl (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X.”) takes over as host from Probst, but the part where if she’s voted out with the advantage she gets to give it to someone. If there was ever an incentive to blindside you, Sierra, you’ve just given it to Sarah. Of course, Sarah could be a moron and assume that this ALSO builds trust with Sierra, and you see where I’m going with this.

In the course of the conversation, Sierra mentions a willingness to blindside Brad, which leads to Cirie and Andrea talking about eliminating Brad, culminating in Andrea swearing that Brad will be the one to go. For those with the betting still open, you can safely stake the farm on the fact that Brad Culpepper will NOT be the latest evictee.

As promised, we now get to our loved one’s challenge. It’s sweet, it’s sappy, it’s the human element to the show that I have so defended over the years, and this one is saccharine, but no different from most other ones. So, time to break with tradition and be snarky and cynical about this particular loved ones challenge. As I’ve said before, I’m in that section of people who feel that showing emotion on “Survivor” is not a sign of weakness, particularly at the loved one’s challenge. I’m also particularly inclined to forgive it in cases where people really have missed major life events; stuff they can’t get back, like Cirie missing her son’s graduation. All that being said, I feel like Sarah falling to her knees even BEFORE meeting her loved one is a bit much. When you see them, fine, and I do understand that Sarah is also missing out on important stuff, in this case the early years of parenthood, or as it is also known, hell. But that display was so over the top, and so early on, that I can’t help but feel that it IS a bit of a weak spot for her.

To add onto the weirdness, Probst for some reason this time around gets into the habit of asking the contestants who they think came to visit them. Gee, Probst, it’s not like they filled out an application where they LISTED who they wanted to come. There’s NO WAY they’d have any idea who’d be there for them! Actually, having all the loved ones be previous contestants would have been kind of fun, but imagine if someone had guessed wrong. What would Probst have said? “No, sorry, your loved one couldn’t make it, so instead, we decided to bring back Russell Hantz from ‘Survivor Samoa’, because we haven’t pissed off enough of the fans.

Pontificating aside, we get introduced to Sarah’s husband, who assures her that their kid, Knox, is doing fine. Andrea comes next, meeting up with her mom… Scout from “Survivor Vanuatu”! No, no, but I thought it was for a second. Andrea and her mom get a nice little moment reminiscing about the unfortunate loss of Andrea’s sister, which is emotional, but would have been more so if we had heard anything about her BEFORE this. Aubry then reunites with her sister, who I swear is the result of a weird transporter accident involving Aubry and Debbie Wanner. Sierra gets to see her dad again, which amounts to nothing, and then we get to meet Michaela’s mom. Ok, I’m a casual fan of Michaela, but I LOVE her mom! She’s so charming in her demeanor, and yet she’s got some bark to her. Note how she snapped Michaela back into place when she was getting frustrated. Hot damn, why couldn’t SHE have been on the show? This is followed by the uneventful reunion between Troyzan and his brother, and then Tai and his partner, Mark the Chicken! No, actually it’s just Mark, and I’ve got to say, Tai’s done really well for himself. Granted, Mark is no Adonis, but he’s pretty good-looking. Consider yourself lucky, Tai! Then we come to Brad, and honestly, I can’t remember who he brought in. She seemed like a neat lady, though. Last is the aforementioned Cirie reunion with her son, which was probably the most genuinely emotion, save possibly for Sarah’s.

We find out that the contestants are playing for barbecue time with their loved ones. Naturally, with stakes (and steaks) like that, production has pulled out all the stops in creation a no-holds-barred beat-down of a one-of-a-kind individual challenge, ensuring the maximum level of competition and drama. Or, you know, they could do ANOTHER damn team obstacle course. I’m sure THAT would in no way be disappointing.

We don’t even get exciting misdirection as to who’s going to win. One team consists of Brad, Andrea, and Aubry, in terms of physical challenges, arguably the best threesome left in the game. You could argue for Michaela or Sierra in one of those spots, probably over Aubry, but those three are still formidable, and when Cirie is on one other team, and Tai on the third, you know you’re sunk.

Thankfully, the team DOES get to pick two pairs of loved ones to come with them, and here’s where there might be interesting drama. Since Aubry and Andrea appear to be allies, I’ll be analyzing the choices from their perspective. Gotta say, I can’t really fault them. When it comes to choosing people for the family reward challenge, you want to take people who are in your alliance, either as swing votes or as power players, but also people who had the biggest emotional moments, both as an alibi for why you picked them, and so you don’t look like a heartless bastard. Aubry and Andrea choose wisely under these criteria, picking first Cirie, a power player, and Sarah, a potential swing vote, and both of whom had the biggest emotional moments. Some might argue that, given how visibly pissed Michaela was at losing the challenge, she ought to have been taken to keep the other swing vote happy, but I’d argue that Cirie is also a potential defect danger is she isn’t pandered too somewhat. Plus, while I like Michaela’s mom a lot, there wasn’t as much emotion there as there was with Cirie, making Cirie a safe play. If I were to nitpick, I might have picked Sarah first, just in case Probst didn’t say to take the second pair, on the grounds that Sarah and her vote steal most need to be kept happy at this point, but I can’t really complain.

That neat lady that Brad brought with him also notes Michaela’s frustration, and as Brad’s currently out of the numbers, she encourages him to go and make friends with her, to hopefully get back the numbers. Brad may not be necessary, however, as Michaela and Tai find THEIR missing Craigslist connection, much as Aubry and Tai did this time last year. Michaela notes that she and Tai are on the bottom of their respective alliances, the former due to not getting picked, the latter due to getting votes, and agree to stick together. They bring in our other losers, Troyzan and Sierra, with Brad as a presumed proxy. They unsurprisingly agree that Andrea is too much of a threat, and decide to go for her. This is the point in the episode where I start to question if Michaela is quite as old-school as she lets on. True, the past evidence still stands, but this is upper class thinking. Michaela correctly realizes she’s on the bottom of her current alliance, and decides to flip the script, hoping for something better. Tai isn’t flipping the script as much, but at this point, any ally is a good ally for him. Unfortunately, I don’t see either of them faring any better under the Brad-Sierra regime than the Andrea-Cirie-Aubry regime, but with that said, fragmenting as many alliances as possible is good if you’re on the bottom, since it means people may need to take you to the end out of sheer necessity of numbers if you do it enough times.

For all Probst’s protestations that this is an original challenge, I see it as a variation on the final immunity challenge from “Survivor Micronesia”. Basically everyone will use pole to hold up a buoy, with the last person holding their buoy as the winner. It’s scaled up from the “Survivor Micronesia” challenge, though it does lose the “ever-lengthening pole” aspect. Since bigger does not always mean better, I’m inclined to prefer the original.

In a nice twist, someone who was targeted actually wins. Brad pulls out his victory, which is only hampered by the obvious foreshadowing of Andrea targeting him at the top of the episode. The majority quickly regroups and unsurprisingly decides to target Sierra, with the need to break up the Brad-Sierra pairing still tantamount. Michaela busts out her acting chops again, agreeing to go with the alliance to their faces. After conferring with Tai, however, they agree that Andrea must go, which as stated before is a good move. Things seem set in stone, but when Sarah grows brain cells, all bets are off. Sarah, rather than be upset at the possibility of a potentially ally being voted off, realizes that this is a chance to get HER hands on the legacy advantage. You know, that thing that she should have thought of initially? The tricky part, though, is how to do it without pissing off Sierra. Frankly, I don’t see how it can happen. Either Sarah is going to have to use her vote steal, in which case Sierra will KNOW something’s up, or Sarah will have to convince Michaela to flip. True, this might make Sierra more mad at Michaela than Sarah, but Sarah would still be implicated, and unless Sierra is BLIND, she’d know that Sarah probably betrayed her, since the only way for this to work as a blindside is for Sarah to swear that she’s with Sierra. Better to stick with the Andrea vote now, and wait for a more opportune moment. Plus, this is potentially the last chance to break up that threesome.

While I can’t say this is the most memorable Tribal Council overall, I CAN say that it’s probably the best one from this season that doesn’t have some unpleasant connotation attached to it. There’s a lot of sound strategic talk, with Andrea articulating the decision of who to bring on reward, Aubry talking about the buildup of little annoyances versus big annoyances, and both Andrea and Sierra subtly politicking for the other by talking generally about who they talked to, and pleading for loyalty. As per usual, though, Michaela gets the zinger, talking about being loyal to the “we” until it becomes a “me”. Why wasn’t THIS the episode title?

There’s also the unpredictability here, and once again, I’d say the wrong decision is made. Sierra goes home, thereby further solidifying the power of the overall more dangerous Andrea-Cirie-Aubry threesome. Still, can’t say I’m too sorry to see Sierra go. Out of all the people case, she was one of the ones I most considered an insult to actual good returnees, and she seemed like she was getting poised for a potential win, so I’m glad that didn’t come to pass. We got some decent strategy out of her, but she’s not one of the greats, and I don’t think we’re missing much from her absence. Of course, at this point, the only people I WOULD be upset to see go would be Aubry, Michaela, and possibly Cirie.

Not one for the record books and maybe not as good as the other merge episodes, but still a decent one nonetheless. With a double-boot episode looming, we’re in for some chaos, Cirie or no Cirie.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Episode 9: Grandmaster

Was this episode an exciting roller-coaster ride that kept you on the edge of your seat from start to finish? No. Was it a fun episode with calculated strategy bits and interesting debates on who to vote off? YES! Look, there’s no way this episode goes down in the annals of “Survivor” history as one of the greats, but it’s still a great addition to the season, and a worthy follow-up to last episode’s promise. Even if the outcome is not what I would have preferred in some measure, in other’s it’s still quite good. So let us sit down, and enjoy a friendly game of chess. Not live-action Wizard’s Chess, but regular chess.

Camp is actually fairly subdued considering the major blindside of last episode, though that might largely be due to shell-shock rather than good strategy on their parts. Most admit to being worried in confessional, with Brad and Tai in particular highlighting the difficulties of their current position. Tai in particular bemoans the fact that he himself has never been this on the bottom, which I would normally dismiss as hyperbolic whining, but thinking back on Tai’s game… Yeah. With the possible exception of the vote immediately following the tribe swap and the Nick Maiorano vote out, Tai was never really on the bottom, and even those rare times that he was, he was quickly swept back into the majority. Not to say that there’s no indication that this might not happen again, but it lends credence to what Tai is saying. Kudos where kudos are due, though, and it must be said that most of the now-minority alliance handled the boot pretty well.

Then again, perhaps they just needed a target to direct the hate at. There was confusion from the old alliance as to who flipped, but Sarah soon clears that up by volunteering that she was indeed the flipper. And I have to ask… WHY? Ok, I get that it’s resume building, and no one really seems to take out their rage on her, but that’s a BIG risk for Sarah to be that bold about it. Now, to her credit, she DOES go about it in a polite manner, basically volunteering to explain herself one-on-one to anyone who wants to, but still, why volunteer that? Better to have people ask to know, and THEN reveal it, so there’s no chance it comes off as bragging.

Cirie, though, is not one to sit pretty. She reminds us that one can never get comfortable on “Survivor”, and foreshadows the impending shake-up.

This brings us to our reward challenge, which, true to form for this season, is yet ANOTHER team challenge, and a rehashed one at that. Hailing from “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, this challenge will see teams of five pull up one person in a chair, after they’ve raced through an obstacle course, to collect 10 puzzle pieces from a set of 30. Once all the pieces are collected, three people race to solve the winning phrase, which is “Reinventing how this game is played”. Winning team gets food and a night in a nice Fijian resort. As Probst says, well worth playing for, and this challenge in particular I’m not super mad about them reusing. My standing complaints with rehashed challenges and team reward challenges post-merge remain, but when you’re filming back to back seasons in the same location, any infrastructure you can save is a plus, and that chair lift definitely qualifies. It makes for a fun visual, and that puzzle to me is a good balance of being tied to the season, yet difficult to solve. Really, my one caveat is that this is a challenge that REALLY comes down to the puzzle.

Our teams here are pretty even, with the blue team being Aubry, Sarah, Andrea, Brad, and Zeke, while the red team (I refute Probst’s insistent claims that that color is orange) consists of Cirie, Michaela, Sierra, Tai, and Troyzan. If I were a betting man, though, I’d give the edge to the red team. They’ve got a good combination of athletic yet light people for the chair portion, and Cirie is hands-down the best puzzle-solver left. As we start off, it seems I may be proven right. Michaela, as Probst highlights, is finally getting a chance to show her stuff. Show it she does, as she edges out Brad Culpepper, who may I remind you is a former NFL player, in a running and high-stepping competition. Granted, Brad’s been out of the pro-sports game for a while, but there’s nothing to indicate he’s still not in good shape. Our teams end up relatively even throughout, as it seems the blue team has an edge in lifting the chair to make up for deficit in running, and naturally it all comes down to the puzzle. Probst taunts everyone about how their brains aren’t working as well 27 days in, but in fairness, I thinking even on day ONE this puzzle would be somewhat difficult. After a few logical guesses, Andrea breaks open the puzzle by figuring out the word “Reinventing”, and that five some win reward. Brad brings the talk around to strategy, talking about how he needs to bond with these people to save himself.

After our requisite gushing about the reward, history repeats itself as Zeke ends up developing bonds over Oklahoma sports. This time, though, ZEKE is the one being pandered to by, of course, Brad Culpepper. Zeke admits in confessional that there’s something of a bond there, and that he may use it if he feels the need, but this bond does not go unnoticed. Lest anyone think that Andrea had forgotten her feud with Zeke, she outright tells us that she still doesn’t trust him, and Zeke bonding with those outside of the current majority does not ease those feelings.

Getting back to camp, Aubry reaffirms this assessment, and we see Andrea and Cirie get to work. Both agree that Zeke is becoming a threat to them again, and set about ousting him. However, Cirie points out that they’d need “Office Sarah” for that to work, and that she, meaning Sarah, isn’t inclined to go against Zeke. Cirie is sent to feel out how amenable Sarah would be to this plan. Shock of all shocks, Sarah is not super amenable to this plan. Sarah tells us that Zeke’s a trustworthy ally for her, and that she doesn’t want to give that up just yet. Fair enough, but as I stated last blog, Sarah’s flaw in her game on “Survivor Cagayan” was being too inflexible in targeting, and that seems to be rearing its ugly head. Plus, while having a close ally IS important on “Survivor”, you want it to be a close ally you can BEAT in the finals. For all that Zeke may be loyal to Sarah, he’s perceived as a smarter person, and between that and the sympathy from the Jeff Varner incident a few episodes back, going against him is jury suicide. At first, though, Sarah seems to play things cool, laying out logically to Cirie why she thinks Zeke is not the right move at this time. However, I feel that Sarah may go too far in revealing her vote-steal advantage. I get what Sarah was trying to do: quell the feat that Zeke might soon create an insurmountable majority. From my perspective, though, it could come across as a threat, a sort of “cross me, and I can easily make sure you lose” thing. I don’t think Sarah DID that, but it also revealed a part of her hand to a shrewd player who could easily turn people against Sarah. Sarah’s actually been playing a decent game this season, but I do feel that this is a poor move for her.

Better is her water-well conversation with Zeke (man, what IS it with everyone meeting up there for strategy this season), as the pair agree that Andrea must still be dealt with. They want to get Sierra this vote just to ensure the numbers, but they concoct a plan to pull in Brad, Troyzan, and Michaela after Sierra is gone to ensure a majority. Zeke tells us that the pair of Aubry and Andrea are too tight and too dangerous, hence his plan for a counter-alliance. Ok, Andrea I get from Zeke’s perspective. She’s a ringleader and she’s gunning for him. But when did AUBRY enter into this? Granted, she’s seen as part of the alliance, but it’s been presented thus far as though Cirie and Andrea were the power pair. Did Aubry manage to worm her way in there? I suppose we’ll never know because the show NEVER SHOWS US HER STRATEGY CONFESSIONALS!

Once upon a time, there was an underrated season known as “Survivor Gabon”. One of the greatest things about it was that it had this awesome challenge where people stacked dominos on a beam that went up and down at sharp angles. Because this in and of itself was not difficult enough, trip ropes were added such that the players had to crawl around to stack their dominos, and could upset everything at any moment. The producers recognized the brilliance of this challenge, and so continued to use it. However, they used it so much that they sucked all the brilliance out of it, so that by the time we got to “Survivor Game Changers” it sucked.

To give this version SOME credit, the thinner board for stacking is nice, but with only leg trip-ups and no angling of the board, it’s just feeling too easy. I mean, we had precisely ONE person drop their blocks, and NO ONE who stacked them incorrectly, but did not find out until they tried pushing them down. That’s just lame.

Once again, I bet on Sierra’s legs to give her an edge in this challenge, and once again, I am disappointed. Andrea wins, which is perhaps the most impactful win we’ve seen this season, even though, once again, the winner was not a primary target. At least this time, they could be considered a secondary target.

Emboldened by her immunity win, Andrea suggests moving the plan forward to oust Zeke. When Cirie makes the logical point about Sarah not going along with the plan, Andrea throws logic to the curb! Fortunately, she also has an alternate plan. Sierra comes begging for her life, and tells us in confessional that while she doesn’t WANT to vote against her foursome, she’ll do anything to save her neck. An understandable response, and she’s naturally happy when Cirie and Andrea float the possibility of getting rid of Zeke, she jumps on board. Of course, they also float the possibility to Sarah, which with Sierra on board, I would argue is STUPID since Sarah’s made it clear how she feels, and has a vote steal to potentially muck up your plans. Sarah, though, DOES seem to have learned something from her last time playing. While she still makes it clear that she doesn’t feel it’s time to oust Zeke, she says she’s willing to go along with it, if everyone else wants it. It concerns me that Sarah still can’t articulate what her actual fault was her first time playing, but I suppose actions speak louder than words. Andrea’s words, though, may get her in to trouble, as she says that everything seems foolproof, now.

BREE! BREE!

Sorry, that was the “Impending Alliance Doom” alarm that I had installed. Yeah, Andrea, this ain’t your first proverbial rodeo. You should know never to say things like that.

Still, what’s the benefit to getting rid of Zeke, and is he a better target than Sierra, the other person floated as a boot for the night? Well, apart from the fact that he and Sarah are trying to put together a five-person alliance against the remainder should Sierra go, Aubry correctly articulates that at this late point in the game, you have to oust the smart people before they oust you. While I don’t agree with Cirie when she says that Zeke is a better player than her, it cannot be denied that Zeke is in the top two or three strategic threats left, and is definitely worth targeting, both because of his smarts and his propensity towards making moves for the sake of making moves. See, show? When you bother to SHOW US Aubry’s strategizing, good things happen.

For our counterargument as to why this is not the time to get rid of Zeke, let us turn to Sarah and Michaela, our self-declared (but accurate) swing votes for the evening. Both admit to the alliance that they’re not crazy about the plan, but say they’ll go along with it. When conferring with each other, though, they agree that now may be too soon. They bring up the logical point that if the alliance breaks up now, they lower the ratio to 5-4, meaning only one person (like, say, an upset Sarah or Michaela) needs to flip to shift power away. And THIS is why getting rid of Zeke now is not the smart move for the current majority alliance. Granted, they’re in kind of a similar position to Sarah last episode where both moves have positives, and so no move is technically the “wrong” move. Weighing both options, though, I’d have to say that sticking with the Sierra vote-out is the smart move. As I said last episode, Sierra is both a ring-leader in the minority, and a binding agent for a lot of the people in it. Get rid of her, and you’ve got a lot more free-agents to play around with. Plus, by keeping her in and lowering the ratio, ESPECIALLY when a couple members of your alliance are clearly not on board with the plan, you make it unlikely that you’ll last long term. Additionally, while Zeke is definitely the bigger threat of the two, it’s not by much. Sierra, while no genius, is competent enough strategically, and arguably more of a challenge threat. True, there is the imminent threat of Zeke’s counter alliance, but by eliminating Sierra, you free up people like Tai, meaning those numbers can be replaced, especially with known Tai-whisperer Aubry on your side. I could see Sarah’s vote steal being a disincentive for this plan, but I’d argue that said vote steal is all the more reason to go along with Sarah, and keep her happy. Basically, this comes down to short-term gain versus long-term gain. Voting out Zeke eliminates the short-term threat of his counter-alliance, but destabilizes the majority in the long-term. Conversely, voting out Sierra is an immediate risk, but keeps the six more solid and could lead to more victories down the line.

Now, some may say in response to these comments that I’m being hypocritical with regards to “Survivor Cagayan”, as I’ve often said that Sarah SHOULDN’T have been appeased when demanding her way on that season. There are two key differences here, though. On “Survivor Cagayan” Sarah was DEMANDING her way, rather than asking for it as she does in this episode. This makes it less annoying and better strategy. But the key difference is in WHO the options are. Last time, Sarah was advocating for HORRIBLE options, and refusing to listen to the logical argument of “vote for those less likely to have idols”. Here, the options are more equal, and thus appeasing her less likely to have negative consequences. I’ve said before on this blog, and I’ll say again: this episode demonstrates that Sarah HAS learned from her past season, even if she can’t say why.

Like this episode, Tribal Council is not exciting in an edge-of-your-seat way, but it is fun to watch the political maneuvering. We get a lot of talk about grids from Cirie, and timing a move properly with Andrea and Sierra. Michaela gets in her usual sass as well, bragging that the majority six will stick together on this vote. Frankly, though, this is the ONE thing to convince me that Zeke will go. We’ve gotten screen time from both Sierra and Zeke, but with Michaela and Sarah still seeming so reluctant right before Tribal Council, I’m convinced that no one but Sierra is leaving tonight.

I am sorry, but not because of a Sierra exit. I’m sorry because the show got me again. Zeke has left the building, which gives me very mixed feelings. On the one hand, I enjoy Zeke more than pretty much anyone left (with the exception of Aubry and possibly Michaela), and as I’ve stated, feel this was the poorer strategic move on the part of the majority, being mainly a revenge vote from Andrea. On the other hand, the person Aubry wanted to go home went home. Plus, you know, unpredictable move against a big threat. And again, I can’t say the move was HORRIBLE, just maybe not the optimal choice given the circumstances. I feel like there’s more we could have seen from Zeke, but I also feel like we got enough for the time being. I eagerly anticipate his inevitable third return.

As I said at the top of this blog, this is not an exciting,, edge-of-your-seat episode. But it doesn’t have to be. We got some clever strategizing and setup for later, along with some small but fun moments along the way We’ve got two good ones in a row so far. Let’s hope for a third!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Episode 8: Yet Another Twist

Seems that we now can’t even have ONE episode to let the status quo be status quo. No, now we have to have a twist EVERY SINGLE EPISODE! And I’m not talking about the blindside, I’m talking about the producer-implemented twist. An extra vote just wasn’t enough for you, huh? You HAD to go and add the vote steal. You’re just bound and determined for someone to play it correctly, right?

Ah, I kid, I kid. True, this episode was not the stuff of “Survivor” legend, but especially compared to the borefest that was the last double-length episode, it did a decent job. Let’s take a look and see what went right, as well as what went wrong.

Gloating is the order of the night back at the new Maku Maku camp, which I’ve since come to realize IS in fact a combination name of “Mana” and “Nuku”, but since the doubling of the term was enough to fool me, I shall spare it the ire of other combination names. Debbie, naturally is a big offender, stating to confessional that the majority six of herself, Tai, Sarah, Troyzan, Brad, and Sierra will stick together, confirming for us that there is not a line in the sand, but, as we get for the episode title, “A Line in the Concrete”. Now, this episode title led many, including myself, to believe that we were in for a predictable episode of the majority alliance sticking together, but of course this was not the case. And the fact that the quote, as it turned out, came from Debbie should have clued everyone into that fact. I’m not saying that Debbie is out of touch with reality, but hyperbole on “Survivor” should be taken with a grain of salt, and in Debbie’s case, it should be taken with an entire saltshaker.

Our past two episodes with someone on the outs (Hali’s vote-off having gotten no after-Tribal breakdown) gave us arguably two of the best handlings of post-Tribal blindsides from Aubry and Varner. Will Andrea continue this trend, or will she ask Zeke to explain himself, only then to interrupt his explanations and get annoyed with him? Given the specificity, you can guess which way it goes. Zeke, understandably, says that while he didn’t vote with the majority himself, he’s ok to go with them to save his own skin, and because he no longer trusts Andrea. A wise move. While it was foolish for him to mistrust Andrea in the first place, now that ship has pretty much sailed, and Zeke has little choice but to jump on the winning train.

Remember Debbie’s concrete line? Yeah, it seems Sarah is an alchemist, and has transmuted that concrete into sand, stating to both herself and Zeke that while now might not be the right time, she’s not bonded to that majority alliance, and will flip if she feels it necessary. I hope you enjoyed that confessional, because you’re going to be hearing about it at regular intervals throughout the episode!

Today’s reward challenge is boring, reused, boring, basic, boring, a team challenge, and did I mention it’s boring? As such, we will not talk about it, but we will talk about several things around it. First and foremost, that location! I’m normally not one to gush at pretty nature shots on “Survivor”, but every once in a while, they hit you with a good one. That arial shot of the challenge, wherein we saw it nestled between bits of coral reef, was breathtaking, at least for me. Coherence be damned, I’d have liked it if the entire challenge had been filmed from that angle. Second, Michaela. With 11 people left, and our contestants divided into teams of five, one person must sit out with no shot at reward, and that person ends up being Michaela. Demonstrating the social poise and grace she is known for, Michaela explains that she understands where people are coming from, and quietly cheers for Cirie. Of course not, she lets everyone within a 50-mile radius know that they did a stupid again. As Michaela says, I’m sure everyone has figured out that the teams were picked based on alliances, rather than challenge ability, but I do have to ask, why HAVEN’T people been commenting on Michaela’s challenge ability? It’s not like she’s been quiet about it. Admittedly, her boasting could be seen as just that, since she hasn’t had those spectacular victories we saw from her on “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, but she’s had some moments this season as well, and we’ve SEEN Zeke confirming her challenge prowess. Clearly, someone should be recognizing her ability. Oh, and we also see a tube labeled “secret advantage” tied to one of the legs of her bench. In case you didn’t see it, don’t worry, we’ll cut back to it about five or six times before the challenge is over. I’m sure people will give Michaela a hard time for not noticing it, but I would remind you that she’s sitting on the bench itself, and generally disinclined to look at its legs. Maybe if she’d seen it from far away, but even with my HDtv, I could barely make it out in the long shots. If you didn’t KNOW it was there, it would be easy to pass over it by mistake. Prost will also make a big deal out of the fact that Michaela still cheers for some people despite her not getting picked for a team, which he makes out to be a real shock. Gee, I don’t know, Probst, maybe it just means that Michaela is a DECENT HUMAN BEING?! EVER CONSIDER THAT?

It seems this challenge was specifically designed to show how the remaining few who could be described as “fan favorites” such at challenges. Once again, the balance beam is our culprit. Several people have trouble with it, but it’s Zeke and Aubry who most openly suck initially, each losing the lead for their team. Tai also had difficulty, but at least Tai made it across in one go, whereas both Zeke and Aubry take multiple tries. But, of course, our real story is Cirie, who can’t even make it up onto the platform to cross the beam unaided. I’m sure many would be inclined to say that this is a real mark against Cirie, but like with Michaela and the secret advantage, I can’t be too hard on her. This isn’t like some pool lip that’s an inch or two above the water, this was clearly at least a 6-inch jump one had to make, and I doubt Cirie could touch the bottom to give her a lift. Still, while Cirie may have slimmed down and toned up prior to this season, she’s not a challenge force, meaning her side loses. But wait! Probst can make a forced moment out of this, providing unnecessary commentary for Cirie crossing the beam, just to prove she could, with everybody on her team (and even, in the end, some from the other teams) coming to help her up. For all my snark, it is actually a really sweet moment, mainly because you can tell from the look on Cirie’s face that this is something she needed to prove, and would have done without Probst’s gloating. It’s also nice how everyone came together in support of Cirie. In a game that can be really cutthroat, it’s nice to see some genuine tenderness. That being said, there are other moments this season with a similar impact, and the fact that Probst felt the need to narrate the moment, PLUS his seeming goading of Cirie to do so, makes the moment feel at least somewhat manufactured. The good parts of it shine through, but this is one situation where the host with the most should have been the host with the least. At least he has the decency to call in a boat rather than force everyone to swim back.

Evidently Sarah has better eyesight than I do, as she spots the secret advantage, citing her cop observance skills as the basis for this. I’m not one to go for forced confessionals on how one’s occupation relates to the game, but this one actually seems apt. It’s an area where being a cop might actually be an advantage. Point being, it doesn’t surprise me very much at all that Sarah noticed it. What DOES surprise me is no one NOTICING Sarah untying the advantage. I mean, this isn’t even like finding an idol at a challenge, where subtlety is the order of the day, she had to swim out of her way to get there, was obviously doing something for several seconds while on there. And don’t tell me she was helping Michaela. Michaela was CLEARLY off the platform by the time Sarah got there. Maybe this season really IS full of idiots.

After our standard comforting of Cirie, Sarah unwraps her advantage, finding out that it’s a vote steal. As I’ve already discussed both my thoughts on the implementing of this advantage (to recap: it reeks of desperation, but isn’t all that bad all things considered) and of the standard “Sarah is tied to no alliance” confessional, I see no need to dwell on this. Therefore, we head on over to our reward picnic via sea plane, where everyone pigs out on a variety of foods, including the meme-worthy coleslaw for Aubry, as Brad expounds in confessional on what everyone already knew: that he picked his team specifically so as to include part of, but not all of, his alliance, so that he had eyes and ears on both teams. Actually a good strategy, but I must point out the folly of not taking Sarah with you, Brad. It’s obvious from last episode that everyone in your alliance knows that Sarah is on the outs, so you wanted her to be on a team with either yourself or Sierra such that one of the leaders could keep her in the fold. Troyzan and Tai may be loyal to the alliance, but persuasive they ain’t. Can’t fault the concept, though.

Talk turns to the Andrea/Zeke feud, with Andrea once again getting over-the-top angry with Zeke. Look, Andrea, I completely get the emotion, but as someone with more than a basic understanding of strategy, you should know that wearing your heart on your sleeve is a bad idea. Sierra takes this time to mock Andrea in particular, and the minority in general, over their lack of cohesiveness. Fair enough for her to do, if a bit mean spirited. But then Sierra goes on to demonstrate her LACK of knowledge of how “Survivor” works, by stating in confessional that this makes her alliance invincible. Anyone with half a brain should realize that a blindside for them is now planned.

Off to our immunity challenge, which is also reused, but not as bad. Hailing originally from “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, this particular version of the challenge comes courtesy of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Players will take letters, spelling “Immunity”, and place them on a wobbly board, while they back away, balancing the board with a rope. First person to spell “Immunity” and get back to the start, wins. As with most reused challenges, it cannot get my seal of approval, but at least it wasn’t an overdone one, and fairly difficult. Sadly, this is also possibly the leas-exciting version of this challenge. A lot of the appeal comes from the back-and-forth this challenge can bring. Do not forget Cydney’s come from behind victory on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”.

We also, sadly, have no Joe Del Campo (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”) to hilariously misspell “Immunity”, though Tai tries valiantly to take his place, being unable to even spell the word on his starting barrel. Actually, I thought Tai was just trying to stack his letters backwards first, making them easier to grab when doing the rest of the challenge, but no, seems he just had difficulty spelling the word. As I said, we have our two frontrunners who rule the challenge, these being Andrea and Troyzan. The former winning would send plans into chaos, making for an exciting pre-Tribal experience. The latter winning would have no impact whatsover. Guess who wins?

Plans are quickly set in place for Andrea’s ouster, with Debbie, Brad, and Sierra coming together to talk about who to vote out. It seems Michaela cannot escape the “annoying” stigma, even with Cirie’s help, as she is once again put up as a target. Debbie suggests her, as she can’t stand her any longer, but Brad correctly points out that Andrea is the biggest threat. I suppose I could see her as being the biggest threat based on a combination of both smarts and challenge performance, but I’d argue that Aubry or Cirie is a bigger threat. Still, I’d imagine peace at camp is also a factor, and I can’t argue with Debbie’s response. Deferring to Brad’s argument, she agrees to go along with what the camp wants. Can’t say I fault that move. It might even lead some to believe that Debbie has actually LEARNED from her experience on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. As we’ll see in a few scenes, you would be sorely mistaken.

For now, the rest of the alliance convenes to go over the plan. Sarah, however, is miffed that she was the last one to know about all this, and correctly points out that it probably indicates that she’s on the bottom of the alliance. Again, good observation skills and reasoning! After that abysmal performance at the merge on “Survivor Cagayan”, I’m not sure I will ever be fully on board the Sarah-train, but she’s trying her hardest this episode. Of course, she also mistakenly says her error on “Survivor Cagayan” was taking the easy path, when it was actually her being stubborn and unwilling to compromise that did her in, but hey, desire for change is at least something.

Put out by the alliance’s treatment of her, Sarah talks first to Zeke and then Andrea about making a move. Zeke salivates at the thought, and Andrea seems on board as well. Both are wary about working with the other, as one would expect, but say they’re willing to temporarily trust one another for the sake of getting further, which is how it should be. I, however, don’t buy this flip for one moment. They’ve been building it up too much, and it seems like misdirection. On top of that, while the current majority alliance has a clear target in Andrea, we haven’t heard of a target from the other side. We’ve heard whispers of Sierra’s name, but nothing concrete, and if we don’t have that, I don’t buy a flip.

It’s tough to say whether or not Sarah should flip, since there’s no target yet given within the majority, and therefore no obvious upsides or downsides to the targeting. I agree with Sarah’s assessment that she’s on the outs with the majority alliance, and therefore her playing the swing vote would probably be her smartest game. This would imply that flipping, regardless of target, is a good idea, since the numbers say that if she doesn’t do it now, it would be difficult to stop the Pagonging. However, with just over half the people left, plus her steal-a-vote advantage, Sarah can wait at least one more Tribal Council before making her move, and flipping can make you a target. Plus, there’s always the “gather the disgruntled from the majority alliance plus those on the outside” gambit, and so I think Sarah sticking with her side is probably the right move.

After a conversation with Sierra, in which Sierra promises Sarah final three with herself and Debbie, Sarah seems to be reconsidering it as well. The promise seemed kind of half-assed to me, but it is another factor to think about.

Remember all that goodwill about Debbie seeming to learn from her game the last time? Yeah, take that all away. Cockiness has once again gotten the better of Debbie, and she has flown too close to the sun. And by “the sun”, I of course mean our beloved fan-favorite Aubry. Yes, of all the pre-game relationships that seemed the most interesting, and most cringe-worthy, the Debbie/Aubry relationship topped the bunch. This is mostly due to the fact that this was the only relationship that seemed to have open tension, though even then, the tension was mostly one-sided. Debbie was understandably still somewhat upset about Aubry blindsiding her, while Aubry seemed indifferent to Debbie, stating only that she could easily tell when Debbie was lying to her. Debbie, though she said she might try and play nice with Aubry, had no intention of seriously working with her. And for all Debbie’s protestations that she doesn’t trust Aubry, given that she wanted to use Aubry as a number down the road, that doesn’t seem likely to me. I find it more likely that Debbie, having done a good job of manipulating pretty much everyone else, decides to try in on her perceived greatest foe not named Brad Culpepper. To Debbie’s credit, she actually comes up with a pretty good lie. She feeds Aubry the party line of Michaela as the decoy vote, but also feeds her a bit about how Sarah doesn’t trust her. If it works, this last bit is particularly useful, since Sarah is the swing vote here, and getting the alliance to mistrust her would be a stroke of genius.

Of course, this assumes that it works. Given that our next scene is Aubry telling everyone in her alliance about how much of a liar Debbie is, going so far as to flip the bird in double for her (not cool, Aubry!), I think it’s safe to say that Aubry’s claim of being able to easily tell when Debbie’s lying holds more water. Now, had Aubry confined herself to talking to her alliance, Debbie might still have been safe, but Aubry also confides this to Sarah, who is now back to saying she wants to flip. Seriously, this woman changes whichever way the wind blows. One thing makes it seem like she’s on the outs? Flipping on the alliance! One conversation indicating she’s in the final three? Back with the alliance!

Debbie does emerge as a coherent target, though, and up against Andrea, I still say that sticking with the majority is right for Sarah. True, Debbie is fairly smart, and hides it easier than Andrea, but Andrea is overall the bigger threat. Moreover, if you’re going to move against the alliance, you want to take out one of the main power players. Were the target Sierra or Brad, I could get behind a Sarah flip. While Debbie is clearly one of the decision makers, what she doesn’t have that Sierra and Brad do is connections. This alliance runs across a few tribal lines, and it’s clear that what’s holding it together is Sierra and Brad. Debbie helps make the decisions, but no one’s staying in the alliance because of Debbie. Take one of the other two out, and they crumble. Fail to do so, and you’ve still got a strong foursome with three idols between them. Granted, Sarah doesn’t know about that, but on “Survivor” it’s probably safe to assume they have at least one idol. Better to stick with the surefire thing, especially with the steal a vote advantage to help you out.

While I can’t say that tonight’s Tribal Council is bad, I can say that it’s forgettable. Not that every Tribal needs a standout moment, but they help. This one just felt like a lot of grandstanding, with the odd ironic quip from Debbie to lighten the mood.

From my perspective, we don’t even have that great of misdirection. I just can’t see anyone in their right mind keeping Andrea over Debbie.

I always suspected Sarah was crazy. Debbie goes home, and I’m an odd combination of both sorry and not sorry. Debbie is definitely a fun character, but like sugar, too much of it can kill you. In that sense, I’m happy. We got just the right amount of Debbie, both good and bad. That being said, our alternate target was Andrea, and while she’s an ok strategist, she’s just BORING. Compared to who we could have gotten rid of, this is a loss. And, as I hope I’ve articulated, the wrong strategic move.

That being said, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy this episode. Much like the Tribal Council, very little stood out, and at times it reeked of desperation, but it was mostly a fun experience, with some good strategizing to go along with it. “Survivor” bread and butter if ever there was some. Let us hope that next episode can build on this solid foundation.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Episode 7: Too Big to Succeed

It’s no secret that I’m no fan of the merge at 13. Even 12 and 11 are suspect to me. In my mind, 10 at the earliest, and make a twist out of doing it later, rather than earlier. However, if I’m being honest and fair with the show, they do generally do a good job of keeping things coherent, despite large numbers. That is not the case with this episode. If there was ever a case for the later merge, than this would be it.

First, though, we have to deal with the fallout from last Tribal Council. You’d expect, with all the touching love and support shown to Zeke by his tribe, that it would be a loving and heartfelt experience. And we do certainly get that. First, though, comes Sarah and Tai arguing about forgiving or not forgiving Jeff Varner. How pleasant.

I kid, I kid. Sarah and Tai do effectively kiss and make up, but for what I expect to be a sweet and tender moment, it was quite jarring to start off with what initially sounded like a fierce argument. We do again get Zeke reflecting on what this means for him before we circle back around to strategy. This leads us nicely into the merge, with both tribes coming out to the feast. The observant amongst the cast, however, note that there’s a suspicious covered table next to Jeff as well. This group of observant people naturally includes Cirie, but also surprisingly counts Ozzy amongst its members. And once something is so obvious that OZZY notices it, it must be acknowledged. Jeff then reveals the “twist” for this episode, namely that in order for the merge feast to occur, one person from each tribe must volunteer to sit out the feast entirely. If no one volunteers, no one gets the feast, and instead everyone gets a single portion of cheese and crackers, and a swig of iced tea.

Now, before I get to talking about this twist in and of itself, I must address a criticism that people are having with this season in general, and that I can’t disagree with. Namely, people are saying that this season is twist-happy; throwing in ill-conceived twist for the sake of living up to the “Game Changers” name that most of this cast left (save for Cirie, Aubry, Michaela, and arguably Ozzy) can claim to fit. As I say, I agree with this criticism, but I DON’T agree with people saying that they should just do a season with no twists whatsoever. Twists help make the game fun, and add an element of luck. I’m sure some people would want the game to be pure strategy, and I do think there should be ways for strategy to win out over luck. Still, luck should be a factor, if only for those “gotcha’” moments the show can provide. I also don’t think any of the twists seen here are bad in and of themselves, save maybe for the combo-Tribal Council that ousted Malcolm. Rather, my problem is the SPEED at witch these twists are being thrown out. Concept aside, what makes for a good twist is that it shakes up the status quo, leading to less predictability for a season, and often more fun for the audience. The trouble with this season is that in order to shake up the status quo, you first need to establish a status quo. When you throw out twist after twist, at the rate of pretty much every episode, you deprive the audience of a chance to see something established before it gets shaken up. This, rather than leading to unpredictability, leads to confusion and frustration, plus a look of desperation for the season.

So, I’m not a huge fan of this twist, but not for anything it does. I don’t think it makes or breaks a season, but it’s not a BAD idea. It’s got a good “Prisoner’s Dilemma” about it, in and of that everyone wants the feast, but if everyone TAKES the feast, then NOBODY gets the feast. My issue, though, is why have people volunteer. You’d lose the prisoner’s dilemma aspect, but if you have each tribe instead vote one person out who has to miss the feast, you get more strategy and drama. As it stands, this twist in and of itself doesn’t amount to much and is inoffensive, but given that it adds to the overall perception of this season throwing out twists for the sake of twists, it takes on a negative connotation.

As it stands, this twist results in a thrilling anticlimax, with both Brand and Tai agreeing to sit out the feast for everyone else. Cirie admits that this earns them brownie points, and gives us our requisite “This is where my game starts” confessional. One that we’d expect from Cirie anyway, but that makes double sense since she’s never been to Tribal Council this season. A pretty impressive feat, all things considered. Our other bit of strategy at the feast comes to us courtesy of Debbie, who seems to be our “drunken idiot” for the season, with the coup-de-grace being showing off her naked butt to Tai and Brad (just a few bushes away). In confessional, however, Debbie states that she had not one drop of alcohol, and was playing up her drunkenness in order to throw people off of her scent. Debbie, this is just like your “Exile Island” lie: well done, but pointless. People ALREADY underestimated you as just a crazy person. No one needed this display.

During the feast, we also get what a lot of people have been asking for from “Survivor”: Hot girl-on-girl action! Though given that the girls in this case are Debbie and Cirie, this may be a case of “Be careful what you wish for.” Not that either of them is unattractive, just that I’m sure people wanted it to be the younger women in the bikinis.

The real intrigue, and our first target, comes to us from Brad, who brings Tai back into the fold by talking about potential targets. Specifically, Brad talks about eliminating Michaela, since he hasn’t really bonded with her, and she’s a potential swing vote. Now, I’m sure many would decry this as HORRIBLE strategy, since with the newest version of the Mana tribe only up by one member, both sides could use a swing vote or two, but from both perspectives, getting rid of Michaela (and Hali as the other swing) makes perfect sense. The newest Nuku would see it as a chance for the newest Mana to be down 6-5, while Brad’s alliance thinks they have at least Tai, if not Debbie as well, such that they feel like swing votes are superfluous, and only serve to benefit the opposite side. It’s quite a fun dynamic, actually.

Taking Cochran’s advice to heart, Debbie, in the words of Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”), makes “nice-nice” with everybody, but particularly Brad. After moving back to the Mana camp (not sure why, since EVERYONE said Nuku was nicer, but oh well), those not in the know are curious about Varner’s exit. Showing all the naysayers that Zeke was ok with this story being discussed, Zeke brings it up to everyone. Again, it would be easy to complain that this move is stupid for Zeke, since as we’ll see, it makes him a target for being “too big of a jury threat”, but again, I think there’s a logic to it. This past Tribal Council has made the newest Nuku tight, and if a reason why is not given, then the newest Mana is likely to band together and take them out. If, however, this is explained, then it opens up more strategic doors, and gives everyone a chance to share and bond. Like Aubry, for example, since commenting on emotional moments seems to be all the producers will show of her this season! Yeah, I know, it’s nice to see, and in many ways Aubry’s bread and butter from “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but I’d like to see more strategy, more fun metaphors, more of the Aubry that we fell in love with on that season. Again, this doesn’t mean that what we’ve got of Aubry is BAD, what it means is that we haven’t got enough Aubry this season.

Give her credit, though, with how much bad luck she’s had this season, and how much Sandra seemed to be against her, it’s a wonder she’s even made it THIS far. I’d dare even say her game is Sandra-esque, since she seems willing to flip-flop from alliance to alliance, as long as they’ll have her. Case in point, she tells us that this moment has bonded her to Zeke, potentially setting up future alliances.

Moving on, the “Oust Michaela” plan is put into action, with a nice game of “Survivor” Telephone, as everyone tells everyone. Perplexing to me, though, is Tai’s decision to tell Hali about the ouster. I mean, I’m sure Hali’s happy it’s not her, but Hali and Michaela have been lumped together at this point, so telling Hali is, in a way, telling Michaela.

Not initially, though. Initially, a chicken climbing on the roof of the shelter to lay an egg signals to Cirie that it’s time to talk strategy with Zeke and Andrea, who are currently in the shelter with her. I don’t know WHY this is the signal, but there you go. The foursome get to talking, and for the first time start to suggest that Michaela might be the best way to go. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always better to have numbers for your group, but again, my focus would be on keeping Debbie and Tai loyal. By now, Zeke has spilled the beans about Michaela’s challenge prowess, so she’s a threat in that regard, and while the foursome do say that Sarah is also on their side, that’s still only 5/13 people. Even IF you pulled in Hali, you’d still be one short. Better to pool your resources to keep the people you already have from joining Brad’s coalition.

Sure enough, Tai’s slip up to Hali leads to Hali revealing to Michaela that she’s a target this evening. Michaela is definitely pissed, but actually takes it rather well, at least by her standards. Still, there is the tiny problem of her wearing her heart on her sleeve, which leads to nice heart-to-heart to Cirie. Apart from wanting Michaela in her alliance, Cirie bonds with Michaela over their shared African-American female heritage. And no, I’m not just pulling this out of thin air. The pair BRING THIS UP in the show itself, along with the fact that this is the first season of “Survivor” to feature more than one black woman making the merge. Cirie talks about Michaela being like she was when she was younger, and in a very cute part of the scene, gives her tips about not owning up to her emotions, while still making sure to not be closed off. There’s a “My Fair Lady” joke in here somewhere, I’m just not sure what it is.

Joking aside, this bring up ANOTHER reason for Cirie’s alliance as a whole to reject the idea of keeping Michaela. Michaela IS a number for your side, which is always nice, but unlike everyone else, who seems to be a major partner, Michaela is less an ally of the alliance, and more an ally of Cirie, which in my mind gives Cirie too much power. Also, why does EVERYONE seem to think now is the time to ally with Cirie? The merge is when she’s MOST dangerous! She said so herself! Target her.

As we leave for our immunity challenge from the yellow Maku Maku Tribe, let me give my thoughts on, well, the yellow Maku Maku Tribe. Color-Wise, I’m happy they went with what was, at the time, the least-used merge tribe buff color, so that we balance things out with the other underutilized merge colors. As to the name, I’m pretty neutral on it. It does sound kind of like a one year old vocalizing, but I’m sure it means something in Fijian, and can sound a bit ominous (particularly with the nice font on the tribe flag), so while it’s not the best, it’s ok. I mean, at least it’s not another combination name.

Our immunity challenge brings us our individual immunity idol, Captain Cuttler having been retired. I’m not a fan of his replacement. It’s basically a rope necklace with a few doodads tied around the edge. Granted, I do like the trident pendant in the middle, but my real issue is the rope. It just leaves too much blank space in the idol. Again, we’ve had WAY worse, but on a season that’s actually done ok in the visual department, this is a step backward.

Our immunity challenge itself is also boring, the challenge originally from “Survivor Cagayan” of standing in a frame pressing a block against the top, with the last one standing winning. A standard and difficult immunity challenge, but not fun to watch, and overall just kind of a weak one to start on.

I give Sierra the best odds to win based on height alone, but they adjust the frames for that. In the end, Andrea edges out Tai for the win. Good for her. All it means for us is that nothing about the outcome of tonight’s episode will change. Though it is kind of a shame that Michaela didn’t win. I thought it was kind of cute how she kept talking to herself.

The “Oust Michaela” talk launches right up again, but this time Cirie is a little more up front about what she wants. Her foothold when Sierra suspects Hali of having an idol, due to her being “more confident” this time around. Really, Sierra? The woman you claim to have NO BOND with you can now read so well that you suspect an idol? I’m sure Caleb is frustrated as hell right now. Still, the idea of split vote intrigues Cirie, since it was, in a sense, her original idea. Rather than use the split to make a lesser majority, however, she instead decides to ask why not Hali instead. Framing it as them keeping another number to Zeke, she wisely gets Zeke to do the dirty work of asking a cocky Sierra why not Hali first. Zeke makes a good point about how if Hali does have an idol, and doesn’t play it, then why not vote her out. Sierra doesn’t outright reject this plan, but does seem dismissive of it. After Zeke is gone, she goats to Debbie in a “Who does he think he is?” manner, and gives us our episode title.

Cirie, however, is not giving up. Again doing a great move to prevent being the messenger, she spills the beans to Michaela, but also tells her how to act, informing her to vote for Zeke (the decoy vote that Michaela and Hali have been fed), so that her tracks cannot be detected. This is brilliant for Cirie in that it gives her complete control, while also not revealing her subtle hand in the dealings of the alliance. Now for Michaela, it gains her very little, as voting for Hali instead could give her an advantage in the split vote. It’s a testament to Cirie’s skill as a player of “Survivor” that she convinces someone to act against their own best interest.

I hesitate to call our first Tribal Council for the night uninteresting, since we get our usual fun banter. With thirteen people, though, it’s hard for any one moment to stand out, and with Michaela seeming a lock to leave from both the standpoint of strategy and the standpoint of screen time, there’s not much tension. About the only really exciting moment is Hali volunteering to be strip-searched for an idol should someone ask, which is mildly funny in a “Jenna-and-Heidi-get-naked-for-chocolate-and-peanut-butter” way a la “Survivor The Amazon”, but given that the sexual attitudes of that season haven’t aged well, it’s only mildly amusing at best.

Give the episode credit for good misdirection. Hali goes home, and nothing of value was lost. Hali really was just there to be a warm body filling out the “Hot Girl in Bikini” quotient for the season, so as viewer, I’m happy. From every other perspective, save Cirie’s, though, it was CLEARLY the wrong move. Michaela is the bigger threat and much less maleable, and therefore less valuable to almost everyone.

Cirie and Zeke spend the next morning talking about their next target, presumably “puttetmaster” Sierra, but I have to knock them over the heads a bit because Aubry is RIGHT BEHIND THEM! I know she said she liked Zeke, and isn’t too tied to any one alliance, but we’ve seen NOTHING to indicate that she’s against Brad’s group at this point. And you’re feeding her that info? It seems to work, though, as Aubry wants to work with her “Italian Aunt” Cirie. A funny metaphor, but perhaps not the most flattering description of Cirie. Can’t fault the flip too much though. As I said, Aubry really just needs a home, any home. Plus, if we’re going with a “shields” strategy, her skill set most aligns with Cirie’s, and the pair of them could be some form of protection for each other.

Zeke, however, is getting wary. After this conversation, he has another with Andrea, in which Andrea dictates to Zeke VERY SLIGHTLY what the move is going to be. Zeke, however, sees this as the women having all the power, and so wants to move to take out one of them. Zeke states that he’d rather go out for making a move than go out for waiting too long to make a move. An admirable sentiment, and one that’s hard to argue with, but Zeke, this is not smart at this time. A vote or two down the road, perhaps, but not now. You are still on thin ice, due to the whole “jury threat” thing. It’s telling that you were seen as the logical decoy vote rather than obvious individual challenge beast Ozzy. This should tell you that what you need right now is loyal allies. Dictatorial or not, Cirie and Andrea are loyal allies. Let them thin the numbers a bit, THEN take them out.

Our reward challenge comes courtesy of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Divided into teams of six, two tribe members untie a fishing net with wooden fish, which they drag to shore, where two other tribe members untie the fish, put them on a pole, and move that pole to a platform. The remaining two tribe members use the fish to solve a puzzle. Winner gets a spa trip and hamburgers. It’s a reused team challenge post merge. You know what I think of those. Let’s look at our teams.

We end up with a pretty evenly-matched pick here. One team is Sarah, Brad, Michaela, Aubry, Cirie, and Sierra, while the other is Troyzan, Ozzy, Andrea, Tai, Zeke, and Debbie. Pretty evenly matched, all things considered. It’s tempting to give the team with Ozzy the advantage, since this challenge involves swimming. However, I give the advantage to the other team, since this sort of challenge comes down to the puzzle, and while Zeke’s good at puzzles, given how fast Cirie and Sierra solved the puzzle a couple of episodes ago, I wouldn’t want to go up against them.

In the end, a nice bit of back and forth has Cirie and Sierra flubbing the puzzle, which upsets Sarah. She’s disappointed, but talks about how she’s been in the middle, and how despite the loss, this sets her up well. This is, what, our FOURTH person in the middle for this double-length episode. First Hali and Michaela were the swings, then Aubry at the beginning of the second half, and now Sarah? Just how big is this middle?

Our real emotion comes from Cirie, giving a big speech about how this is like providing for one’s children, and how hard it is not to be able to provide. Not bad in terms of emotional impact, but compared to last episode’s emotional moment, it just feels lacking. Instead, we cut over to the wacky hijinks of Tai streaking, then explaining to the kids what “streaking” is. Truly, YouTube has gotten all the shock out of us.

Zeke, as per usual, brings us back to the game, taking some time alone with Debbie and Tai to talk about blindsiding Andrea. Tai, as per usual, is on board, but Debbie is somewhat skeptical, especially since Zeke throws out the whole “she was suggesting you” gambit. Debbie tells us that she looks on every bit of info that she gets skeptically, which is definitely a good philosophy for “Survivor”, though I’m duty bound as a snarky guy on the internet to point out that Zeke WAS telling the truth in this instance.

We now get to what SHOULD have been our first individual immunity challenge. Granted, it’s reused, but it’s grander in scale. It’s the “Hang on a pole with grooves” challenge originally from “Survivor Vanuatu”, which is overdone, but a nice staple. Still, way to spoil the outcome of the challenge, show. It’s not like you’ve got a guy on this season who has won this challenge TWICE!

As we wait for Ozzy’s inevitable victory, we hope for at least some dramatic (though non-injuring) spills, as we get to see Andrea fall ALL the way from the top to the ground. Fun only because she walked away from it pretty much unscathed. Oh, and we do get the little surprising twist that OZZY DOESN’T WIN! I guess age really has taken its toll. Tai ends up winning, good for him. Once again, this means that a guy who really wasn’t going home anyway and therefore makes little difference gets immunity. Yay for being pointless!

Now, up until this point, my complaint about the management of such a large merge seems limited only to the Tribal Council from the first half, but this is not so. The area between our second immunity challenge and Tribal Council may be the most confusing mess I’ve seen in 12 years of watching this show. It’s now an hour and a half later, and I STILL can’t quite make out what’s going on. Sarah does us a favor, since she’s in the middle, and try to parse out the alliances for us, but there’s just so many people that I can’t figure it out even then. It doesn’t help that the target changed about five or six times. Chaos is usually entertaining, and this is no exception, but the lack of comprehension does limit its appeal.

What we CAN glean from this is that our targets are Ozzy (pushed mainly by Debbie and Sierra) and Zeke (pushed mainly by Andrea and Cirie, having been told about Zeke’s attempted move against them). This makes it easier to parse out what Sarah should do. This is another situation where there is no wrong choice. No side seems more or less safe for Sarah, and both Ozzy and Zeke seem to have some loyalty to her. While Ozzy is more of a physical threat, Zeke is more of a strategic threat. On the whole, though, I would say that Sarah’s better move is to vote out Zeke. While both Ozzy and Zeke seem to be loyal allies, Ozzy doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, whereas strategic Zeke could simply be playing her, or might play her down the road. On top of that, while Sarah’s by no means a moron, she’s not exactly known for her mental game. She needs people less strategic than her around, and Ozzy fits that bill well.

Debbie also mentions bringing her vote advantage to Tribal Council, so there’s also that wrinkle.

Tribal Council is, once again, a strategic mess. We don’t have any standout moments, but it is really hard to tell who of Zeke and Ozzy is going home, so it’s still ok. We get a couple of shocks with mystery votes for Sierra and Aubry (from Cirie and Zeke, respectively, though in Zeke’s case it’s less of a mystery, since Aubry was the decoy), but in the end, Debbie plays her extra vote, lying and saying that she gave up necessities at Exile Island for it. Can’t say I fault her for it. With the majority for her vote nebulous at best, having that one extra vote could make or break Debbie’s game. Were I in her position, I would probably have played it as well. We see that the extra vote has a fancy border around it, which is a nice aesthetic touch, but kind of ruins the whole “anonymity” of voting.

Once again, snarky internet guy that I am, I am duty bound to point out that Debbie’s vote was pointless. Sarah joined her coalition, giving them the majority, and sending Ozzy to the jury as its second member. Probably the best ever play of this advantage, since Debbie both avoided going home and voted for the right person, but still, ultimately, unneeded. Once again, as a viewer, I’m stoked. While this does put Aubry on the wrong side of the vote, I MUCH preferred Zeke as a character to Ozzy, and we’d kind of gotten what we needed out of Ozzy. Strategically, though, it makes little sense, and just adds to the confusion that was this episode.

About the only nice thing we get is Cirie. I may not like Cirie as much as other fans, but I respect her strategically, and this episode DEFINITELY highlighted that. It’s not just her social manipulation that’s impressive, but how she was able to cover her tracks and make it LOOK like she wasn’t doing anything that makes her one of the greats. You’ll note that it was ANDREA Zeke wanted to go after on his power trip, when in terms of strategy, CIRIE is clearly the bigger threat. That just shows how good she can be.

I can’t call this episode bad, but especially by merge episode standards, “weak” seems right. It was a confusing mess with a couple of fun moments to get excited about, but nothing to really make me sit up and take notice. That being said, this problem should diminish as the numbers dwindle, so this season has hope as of yet. Plus, we’re FINALLY trimming the fat!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Episode 5: Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Hidden Immunity Idol

Ok, for all the criticism thrown at this cast, they aren’t idiots. Second stringers? Perhaps. Unworthy of the mantle of “Game Changers”? You could argue that. But by and large, they aren’t idiots. Oh sure, you had some pockets of idiocy. Caleb. Arguably Debbie. Even J.T. would probably fall into that category after the events of the episode prior. On the whole, though, these people didn’t seem like they were morons, and would probably at least give us halfway decent gameplay.

That said, as Sandra survived Tribal Council after Tribal Council, people began to question even this assertion. On statistics alone, Sandra is the biggest target of the season, even when we have a full 20 players, and about the only metric in which she ISN’T a huge target is challenge ability. So, when she kept on staying, oftentimes not even being an ALTERNATE boot, it just seemed ludicrous. I, however, am willing to forgive a lot of it up to this point. Let us not forget that, for the two votes where Sandra was potentially a target (I’d argue that the combined Tribal Council doesn’t count, even though she was an alternate target, due to the whole “unable to strategize outside of Tribal Council” thing, but that the previous one does count, due to Sandra being the likely target if she doesn’t fuel the beef between Michaela and J.T.), there were adequate reasons for the targets that were hit to be hit. Tony and J.T. are both strong former winners, who are going against Sandra’s alliance. Even with Malcolm, since he’s such an all-around threat, it could be argued that he’s a worthier target. Tonight, though, would have been different. I don’t think Tai is QUITE as bad a strategist as some claim (though he does have the bad habit of putting his foot in his mouth), but when compared to Sandra Diaz-Twine, it’s no contest. And yet Sandra and the editing team are SO GOOD, they even had me convinced that I would have to rescind this “smart” qualification for everyone else.

Thankfully, these people are NOT that stupid, even if they do a good job looking it. And it definitely made for an exciting episode. But before I can tell you THAT story, I have to tell you THIS story. Yes, after a decent length hiatus, it is time once again for…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

There’s actually two this week, but I’ll only address one omission here, since the other once actually comes up in this episode as an important plot point. In all the craziness of that last Tribal Council, I forgot to mention the ending crowner. Sandra comes clean on her sugar-stealing, causing the tribe to “Wow”, which really should only come as a surprise to Aubry and Michaela. A lot of people say this would come back to bite her in the butt, but I’m actually all for it. The only one who might possibly be offended is Michaela, and on a tribe this small, it’s not like she has many other options. On top of this, it helps build Sandra’s resume, should she make it to the end. Sure, it could be argued that Sandra normally plays a game where she doesn’t need to do overt resume building. I say Sandra’s game this time, while containing many elements found in her winning games, is different from before, so why not change things up to have overt resume building? At worst, I say it’s neutral, at best, a positive. Definitely a fun way to end off a crazy Tribal Council.

On this blog, you might notice how often I rail against people handling coming back from Tribal Council on the losing side of the vote. No matter what, it seems like I’m able to find fault with whatever they do. This may lead some to the suspicion that I can never be pleased; that no matter what I will never be satisfied with a return-from-Tribal-Council performance. To them I say:

THIS. THIS is sort of post-Tribal performance I’m looking for. And of course, it came from Aubry. The Aubry Lobby is most pleased.

Yes, Aubry comes back and congratulates them sincerely on their move. She doesn’t make any bones about where her position is, but asks general questions about why J.T. over her. She caps it off talking in confessional about not having a leg to stand on, as those legs keep getting chopped off by Sandra, leading to a slow death. Not exactly on a level with her “Oregon Trail” metaphor from “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but it’s a close one. She finishes off by saying that she needs to learn from Sandra. Now, as head of the Aubry Lobby, I should be offended that Aubry is saying she needs to learn from ANYONE, but as Aubry rightly points out, Sandra has been cutting off her game time and again, and so, yeah, fair statement from Aubry. It implies determination to do better, but also honestly acknowledges one’s situation, and what more can you ask for in a post-Tribal Council wrap-up?

Oh, Aubry also mentions something about having difficulty forming relationships with the three people still on Nuku. She really needs someone new to play with. Almost like a switch?

Surprisingly, the editors do NOT take the easy bait, and instead continue a storyline I neglected last episode. It seems the pattern of last episode was “Crazy shenanigans obscure actual gameplay”, as the craziness of Debbie over at Mana obscured Tai’s renewed attempts to look for an idol. He does eventually find a clue, his old friends the trees coming to his aid once again. In a new twist, though, Tai must pour water on a board somewhere at camp, and look for a tribe symbol to be revealed. I’ve got to say, this may be my favorite way of hiding the hidden immunity idol EVER! I’m not kidding. It’s not something that would be intuitive, but it fits in with the game show mentality. Plus, as a lover of the “Indiana Jones” movies, I love how this just seems like a pseudo-archaeological adventure.

We join Tai in a renewed night hunt for the idol, having been unsuccessful last episode. Thinking about places where there are a lot of wooden boards around camp, Tai goes and starts pouring water on the water hole. Not a bad plan, but since the clue specifically stated that the idol would be BURIED under the board, I have my doubts. Plus, why is Tai searching at night? Surely a subtle symbol like the one he’s looking for would be easier to see in the daylight. And it’s idiotic thoughts like these that keep you coming back to “Idol Speculation”. Not only DOES Tai find the idol, but he does so in the dark. Hey, good for him. He may not be the best strategist, he may not have the best English, but DAMN if he can’t find those idols!

Now we come to the actual swap, which is done in about as exciting a way as the first one, by which I mean they do it EXACTLY the same way as the first one, save with going from three tribes down to two, with our usual happy reactions shots from those on the bottom of their respective tribes (Aubry and Debbie, though oddly not Troyzan). We do at least get some good banter from Sandra about Probst doing her a solid, and Jeff Varner complaining that he got the one no one wanted.

As it shakes out, the new-new Mana consists of Hali, Aubry, Troyzan, Michaela, Brad, Sierra, and Cirie, and new-new Nuku consists of Zeke, Ozzy, Andrea, Sarah, Tai, Sandra, and Jeff Varner. As Tai points out, this puts all three gay men on the same tribe. Little to no chance of a showmance developing, sadly, because at least two out of the three of them (Tai and Jeff) currently have partners, but it’s nice to see nonetheless. Physically, we’re pretty even overall. Nuku may have gotten the two biggest challenge sinks (Sandra and Jeff), but they also got Ozzy. Apart from Michaela and Brad, no one on new Mana really stands out as a poor challenge performer, but neither does anyone stand out as a challenge sink. I might give the edge to Mana in the challenges, since often challenges come down to a sort of “Only as strong as the weakest link.” factor, in which case even Challenge Jesus himself may not be enough to compensate. Still, it should make for interesting competitions. And if you’re looking for a swap that saved the butts of those on the bottom, this one sure as heck did it. Aubry is obviously the biggest recipient, getting away from her foil Sandra, but also having many new faces (and Michaela) that she can build those necessary bonds with. Troyzan also benefits from now technically being in the majority of his tribe again.

But what of our third bottom-of-the-totem-poller, Mrs. Debbie? Well, as you might have noticed, we have two tribes, but fifteen people left. One person did not get a buff, and that person was Debbie. She’s told that she’ll be going to “Exile”, will sit in on the Tribal Council of the losing tribe, and join them following tonight’s vote. While I’m sad that we’re not getting a full return of “Exile”, since it’s a twist I’m rather fond of, Debbie is a good choice to go there. A fresh breath of life in the game for her, and one of the things that can make “Exile” interesting, even to non-fans of the twist, is someone overdramatic going there. If you don’t think Debbie fits that overdramatic mold, I remind you that she somehow connected “Exile” to riding horses in her youth. She’s upset, naturally, but it should be a fun ride.

We head off to our respective camps with Jeff Varner doing what he does best: Complain. We’re spared that for a bit, though, as we first check in with Mana. Everyone seems pretty happy, and those who had been away from the camp are happy to see the improvements made. Brad, however, brings us back to the realm of strategy. As those on the bottom got a new lease on life, so did those on the top get screwed over. Case in point: Brad. Barring Debbie actually being able to get a rebellion together, Brad was firmly in control. Now, as Brad points out, his only real ally is Sierra. Hali was tenuous at best, he and Cirie were never really aligned on the original Nuku, and he hasn’t had a chance to play with Aubry, Michaela, or Troyzan. Still, he tries. God bless him, he tries. Realizing that there’s a big bit of “girl power” potential, Brad cozies up to Troyzan as the only other guy on his tribe. Yeah Brad, because the whole “Guy Power” thing worked SO WELL the last time. For his part, Troyzan gets on my bad side by comparing this to his stint on “Survivor One World”. While an apt comparison, it reminds me of “Survivor One World”, which I hate. To give credit, though, Brad has evidently been tutored in math, such that he realizes that three is less than four, meaning he needs one more person. We never see him make a move on anyone else, but it makes for an interesting plot thread, and spreads some idea that Mana may actually lose the next immunity challenge. As to who Brad SHOULD go for, it’s kind of a toss-up between Aubry and Michaela. We can pretty much assume that Hali and Cirie are out, since Brad’s indicated that he’s tried that road and it doesn’t work. Of the other two, Aubry would seem to be the obvious choice, since she’s on the outs with the other original Mana. Plus, given how often we saw them hug this past episode, it seems like Aubry and Troyzan may be pretty comfortable with each other, which would further cement her position in that alliance. On the other hand, Brad has been shown to be wary of the “Kaoh Rong Three” as they’re now being called, which would endear him to Michaela. Plus, with Sandra gone, the original Mana should be fragmented anyway. If I had to guess, since Brad doesn’t seem to make his move this episode, I would guess he goes for Michaela ultimately, but I could still see it going either way.

Now we head over to Nuku, where Zeke wastes no time cementing his non-moron status by targeting Sandra with Ozzy. Do I even need to spell out the reasons why? The longer Sandra lasts, the less threatening she becomes, and the more she takes up a spot that you yourself could need. On top of that, for everyone on this tribe but Jeff, she is the leader of the opposition, the uniting force that is the only real threat to the victory of one of you! But of course, a decoy target is needed. Do they agree to say Ozzy, in the vein of “getting out threats”, and thus get someone to AGREE to be a target, rather than simply naming a target and pissing that person off. No, that would be the LOGICAL thing to do!

For all my snark, the alternate plan is a good one: Say the target is on Tai, due to his general wishy-washy-ness. And, presumably, heavy love of the chickens, but this is left unsaid. This is not to say that Tai isn’t proactive. Recognizing that his main skill lies in finding hidden immunity idols, and having found the last one by pouring water on the water well, Tai naturally tries this strategy again. Logical, but of course, we know that this season twisted things around so that idols are hidden differently each time, and so there’d be NO WAY that this plan would work again.

Of course, we forget that the purpose of hiding the idols in different ways was set up pretty much to ensure that the idol ended up in the hands of whomever production wanted. Since Tai is a favorite amongst both hardcore and casual viewers, of course they want it to end up in his hands. This gives Tai a couple of records here. He is now one of a very select group to hold two idols at one time, that group consisting of Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”), and Jeremy Collins’ run on “Survivor Cambodia”. Winners all, which would seem to bode well for Tai. Then you remember that this group also includes James Clement (“Survivor China”), and since Tai’s gameplay is closer to James’ than Tony’s or Jeremy’s, I’d say this doesn’t help Tai as much as it might seem. Oh, it helps, but the thing with idols is that you need to know when to play them, and I’m not sure Tai does know that. More impressive, to me, is that Tai is now tied for the record for most hidden immunity idols found in a single season. Again, this record matches Tony Vlachos’, but also puts him in the same boat as Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”).

CRASH!

ME: Oh Christ, not this again! Part of why I moved was to STOP you assholes crashing big holes in my living space.

RUSSELL: Not just ANY asshole, fool! THE asshole! I’m Russell Hantz, and how DARE you say that Tai is in my league?

ME: True, how foolish of me. Tai is MILES better than you.

RUSSELL: But don’t you know who I am? I’m the greatest of all TIIIIIME!

ME: No, you’re a three time loser who can’t seem to learn from his mistakes, and then whines and complains whenever things don’t go his way. Yes, Tai may have mismanaged the jury, but it was more due to negligence on his part than ACTIVELY ANTAGONIZING the jury like you do. Plus, Tai learns from his mistakes. You do not.

RUSSELL: What do you mean? I don’t need to learn from my mistakes. I’m RUSSELL HANTZ!

ME: And now you’re Russell No-Pants (Pants’ Russell. Russell exits in a hurry).

Back to non-annoying contestants, we cut over to Debbie on “Exile”. It’s here that we reveal why I’ve been using quote marks this time around. “Exile” is not an island, but a fully-stocked boat full of goodies, such that Debbie can live in luxury until her return to the game. I’m sure some people will get mad, but I do like how it throws EVERYONE, audience included, for a loop. We expect “Survivor” to be all about suffering, so having a twist NOT royally screw over the odd person out makes for a nice change of pace.

But if you’re someone who watches “Survivor” for actual wilderness “Survival”, then you’re going to hate what comes next. It’s time for our former player to return to the game. Like I and many others predicted, it’s a reward for the Exile. However, the person who actually came back was not Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearls Islands”) or Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”), or one of the other survivalists out there. No, we get Probst’s second-favorite contestant to talk up ad nauseum, John Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”). I’m sure this segment is a turn-off for many people. It goes on for a long time, and many people find both Cochran and Debbie annoying. Personally, though, I’m ok with it. I find Debbie tolerable at her worst (when she isn’t yelling at Brad Culpepper). As to Cochran, he’s my second-favorite player of all time, so damn straight I’m happy to see him back. He’s relatively successful as a “Survivor” player, and is fairly witty. Between him, Rupert, or Boston Rob making a cameo, I’m glad he’s back. Really, the one sour point is Debbie basically saying she’s happier to meet Cochran than she was to meet various Presidents and Prime Ministers. Debbie, stop over inflating Cochran’s ego. That’s Probst’s job.

Frankly, about the only way this scene could have been better is if Aubry had gone to “Exile” instead of Debbie. My two favorite contestants of all time playing together. I would have died! Of course, then you would have been unable to get more “Idol Speculation”, so your lives would have been worse as well.

Apart from one line about burning his clothes post-Debbie hug, Cochran mostly confines himself to strategy talk. He goes all Luke Skywalker on us, point out to Debbie that “Overconfidence is your weakness.”, and gets her to fess up about the beef between her and Brad. To the chagrin of the producers, but the delight of everyone else, Cochran encourages Debbie to mend fences with Brad, which she agrees to do. Cochran also leaves Debbie with a parting gift: To help fend off the “royally screwed”, Debbie can pick one of three advantages. Really, though, it’s only two advantages, since the “Supplies for a fake idol” one pales in comparison to the other two. Basically, Debbie can choose between an extra vote at Tribal Council and an advantage for whichever team she ends up on. It really is a tough call. Ultimately, for me, it boils down to a “short-term gain vs. long-term gain” choice. The vote doubler is better for the long haul, but coming into a tribe that’s had a chance to bond, it may not matter. Conversely, the challenge advantage may help you get through to the merge, but that’s it. I couldn’t really fault either call, but if I had to make a decision, I’d go with the vote doubler. It’s risky, but since no one but Sierra can guess that a merge is coming after next episode, there’s less advantage to the challenge advantage. Debbie, in one of her smart moments, takes the vote doubler, and we move on to strategy.

Simply throwing out a possible target isn’t enough; you have to make the other side buy it. Zeke, in the first real gameplay we’ve seen from him all season, lounges with Jeff on a beach. The talk turns to strategy, and Zeke casually throws out that Tai’s on the outs for the aforementioned wishy-washyness. Jeff is thrilled, and while he seems to take the whole thing with a grain of salt, he still seems on board. He lets Sandra know, giving us that classic “Anyone but me!” confessional from Sandra, but she’s more openly suspicious, as well she should be.

To go with our kick-ass episode, we have a kick-ass challenge. Sure, it’s a combo, but one of rarely-used elements from more than two seasons. After a short swim, tribes cross monkey bars and a balance beam. Then they load a cart with puzzle pieces, which they then drag across a platform and up a sandy hill (using logs on the latter part). Once there, three people solve the puzzle from the first episode of “Survivor San Juan del Sur” to win immunity. Not the biggest challenge, but the cart-dragging part (reminiscent of both “Survivor Guatemala” and “Survivor Caramoan”) was epic enough, and that is a tough puzzle. Add onto that at least a modicum of strategy from both tribes, and you’ve got yourself arguably the best challenge of the season so far.
For all that the challenge is epic, the misdirection, while still good, is less so. Both tribes had SOME strategizing, but Nuku had the bulk of it. Add onto that Mana getting and holding the lead early on (despite Probst’s narration trying to convince us otherwise), and them putting the stellar team of Cirie, Aubry, and Sierra on the puzzle, and yeah, Mana wins hands down, solving the puzzle surprisingly quickly.

Our conflict at Nuku is exactly what you’d expect, with everyone wanting Sandra out, and telling her it’s Tai. Sandra is still suspicious of that story, though, and so doubles down on reminding people why Tai needs to go. She cites the “Kaoh Rong Three” angle, but also brings up a strategy she had talked about a lot prior to the start of the season. She appeals to the big threats like Ozzy that she won’t go against them, and that since they’re such big targets, they NEED someone like her to survive. As I said before, these people have brains, so they’re not buying it, but as they will acknowledge, she’s GOOD! In a Kaa the Python way, Sandra is able to pitch things just right that even though you know she’s tricking you, you’re still kind of buying it anyway. And even if Ozzy and co. don’t buy the whole “Sandra will stick with us” thing, they are at least giving consideration to the “Kaoh Rong Three” angle, which admittedly is something for them to watch out for. Tai doesn’t help himself much when he gets properly paranoid about no one talking much to him pre-Tribal Council. Pretty good misdirection, but like with J.T. last episode, I’m not buying that Tai goes home. He has TWO idols! He has even LESS of a reason to not play one than J.T. did.

If the misdirection at camp was kind of lackluster, though, it was made up for at the Tribal Council, where everything all but literally turned on it head. For the first time, we heard Sandra betray some concern for her position, citing being down in the numbers. Fair enough. But then all Sandra had to do was sit back and wait for Tai. While most everyone else expressed confidence in the way the vote would go, Tai again expressed his concern about not getting talked to, not helped when Sarah chimed in that she HAD been talked to. Tai naturally started getting paranoid, and so this is where Sandra jumped in and did what she does best. She threw out to Tai the option that if he was willing to tell her who to vote for, she would go with him. And that simple strategy, right there, is truly why “The Queen Stays Queen”. It’s not complicated, it’s not even that hard to pull off. But Sandra knows just how much to push to get people to do themselves in. Even with Tai’s nervousness, it should have been clear even to him that between his idols and Sandra’s concern, he should be safe. All he has to do is say “Why would I do that? You’re going home tonight.” and everything is smooth sailing for Tai. Yet Tai, for reasons I’m STILL having difficulty fathoming, starts whispering in her ear, eventually revealing to the group as a whole that he threw out Ozzy’s name, due to the whole “threat” thing. This, of course, gets everybody whispering, giving us chaos equal to (and I would argue surpassing) that of the “combo Tribal Council” we had two episodes ago. It was tighter and more furious in pace, and best of all, it came about ORGANICALLY! Take note, producers: we do not need you to give us awful twists that eliminate Malcolm to make for an exciting Tribal Council. Everyone starts throwing Tai’s name out, culminating in Zeke rightly asking Tai how anyone can trust him when no one knows who Tai trusts, as well as pointing out that his idol hunting is suspicious.

It’s this second point, as well as the whispering behind Tai, that tells me that Tai should play his idol. True, it would confirm people’s suspicions that Tai had been idol hunting, but Tai could also play it off as him getting rid of the idol to show that he had no secrets. He could stop his hunt so as to build trust, yet still KEEP an idol for his own personal use. 

Yet he doesn’t, and given the edit, I’m ready to get out my “MORONS!” megaphone, since trustworthy or not, it’s ALWAYS smarter from a gameplay perspective to keep Tai over Sandra. As I said at the top of this blog, though, these people are not morons, and vote out Sandra. As the icing on the cake, Sandra gets in a good line, asking Probst not to snuff her torch. Everyone, even Probst, is super respectful, with Probst noting her record of days, and everyone giving polite applause. Sandra seems content, probably because she defended her title. I’m both sorry and not sorry to see her go. Sandra is always entertaining, and definitely would have led to a higher caliber of gameplay than Tai if kept in the game, but we got a LOT of Sandra these first five episodes, such that I’m satisfied. She remains the only two time winner, and results aside, I say this may be Sandra’s best showing yet. Even WITH a target on her back (something she never really contended with her first two seasons), she lasted a good long time, and had a showier game than usual. Her place in the “Survivor” Annals of History is well-earned.

Just when you thought last episode was as good as the season would get, this episode blows it out of the water. We had those crazy moments, as well as good strategy, but by and large, they came from the PLAYERS, not the TWISTS, which elevates this one to a whole new level. The exit of Sandra is sad, but really, it was inevitable, and if she did have to go, this is a great way to go out.

Episodes such as this deserve a celebration, meaning it’s time once again for…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

In honor of the coolest way to hide the hidden immunity idol, we’ll be talking about, well, ways to hide the hidden immunity idol. I refer both to location and gimmicks for finding it, in this case. Other than that, anything goes!

TOP 5

5. Pictographs: In an attempt to make the idols “Russell Proof” (i.e. unable to be found without a clue), “Survivor Nicaragua”, in one of its rare good moves, changed things up so that instead of a written clue, tribe members had to decipher a picture puzzle to figure out where and how far to walk for the idol. I’m not sure why they never did this again, other than the fact that it led to fewer idols being found. It was creative, and it let people play along at home (the pictures were released on CBS.com for people to try and decipher), so I fail to see what is wrong with it.

4. “Back Across the Ocean”: For the most part, since the introduction of the hidden immunity idol, clues have been fairly straightforward. One or multiple quatrains hinting at where to look for the idol But “Survivor Micronesia” took it to a new level. Rather than one clue leading to an idol, now one clue led to the next, to the next, to the next, and so on. This made the hunt more of an adventure than it had been before, which would have been fun in and of itself, but it was made better by Cirie’s commentary upon it’s trial run. The repeated talk of “Back across the ocean” is one of the few times I really found myself enjoying Cirie on “Survivor”, and this method deserves credit for that, if nothing else.

3. “Stupid Bats”: Idols that are hidden in plain sight were BOUND to come up on the list, so this entry really comes down to all of them. However, if I had to pick the best one, I’d have to go with the original on “Survivor China”. Apart from Todd’s funny “stupid bats on the freaking thing” confessional, this felt more innocuous than the lid of the rice from “Survivor Philippines”. the latter felt more central to camp life, and more easily pegged for an idol (being the tribe symbol and all). The Chinese calligraphy on the archway seemed more innocuous, and thus it takes the position of representative of this entry.

2. Pouring Water: Like I said, looking for the idol should be an adventure, and trying to decipher hidden clues like we saw in this episode is one HELL of an adventure. That being said, it’s less risky than our number one entry, which is why it just BARELY misses the top spot.

1. At Challenges: So help me, this is a great way to hide the idol. It’s harder for people to find randomly, but requires a lot of skill to get, and adds a strategic element to challenges that might not otherwise be there. Kelley Wentworth, Troyzan, pretty much anyone who goes for one of these idols gives us a good scene in some way or another.

Honorable Mention: “Why” You Fell Behind: I’m a sucker for a bad pun, and the clue to the hidden immunity idol on “Survivor Exile Island” gives us a great one. “Why” and it’s buried by a y-shaped tree? Great! Only misses out on the list proper due to the written clue emphasizing the word “Why” with quotes, making it a bit too easy to go on the list proper. Fun, but not exactly difficult.

BOTTOM 5

5. “A”: It was fun on “Survivor Exile Island”, but when “Survivor Cook Islands” used naturally occurring letters in nature, it just felt derivative. Add onto that a clue that’s more on-the-nose and less exciting than its predecessor, and this one, ironically enough, does NOT make the grade.

4. Tree Mail: “Survivor Tocantins”, we did not need an upskirt shot of the Tree Mail Guy. That is all.

3. Picture: Pictographs are one thing, but giving someone a reward that flat out SHOWS them were the idol is, as Malcolm was given on “Survivor Caramoan”? That just ruins the fun. It’s cheap, it’s easy, and it eliminates pretty much all work in finding the idol. Good for the player, I’m sure, but for the audience? Not so much.

2. Mechanism: I’ll give the producers credit for trying to change things up on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, and ask the players to make a tool to get the key to the idol. And admittedly, it was fun to see these people find workarounds for that problem. But it just felt a little too tricky and fiddly to make us fall in love with the adventure, and made the hunt take up more time in the episode. Probably not the worst (and frankly, with the exception of Number One on this list), none of the methods on the “Bottom 5” are horrible, but compared to others, this one falls flat.

1. No Clue: Like I said earlier, playing along with the clue can be fun. No clue=no fun. I get that this was the super-special “Tyler Perry Idol”, but everyone agrees that was the low point of “Survivor Cagayan”, and everything associated with it is tarnished, including the method for hiding it. You can protest all you want about how you “Didn’t want ANYONE to find it”, but we all know this was just a lazy excuse for jumping the shark, and therefore the worst idol clue of them all.

Honorable Mention: “Definitely on the Ground”: Not technically an actual clue to the idol, but a lie by Judd Sergeant (“Survivor Guatemala”) to everyone but Stephenie. Given that this is Judd we’re talking about, it should come as no surprise that it’s a weak clue, but it’s a HILARIOUSLY weak clue. Plus, since it’s not a proper clue, I can’t put it on the list proper, but that half-assed lie must at least be acknowledged.

PHEW! When “Survivor” gets great, it gets REALLY great. Like I said, best episode of the season so far! Yet I get a sneaking suspicion that the upcoming episode can top it.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Game Changers” Episode 1: 500 Semi-Strong

So, yeah. The season hasn’t even started, and I’ve already made a grievous error. Shaping up to be a wonderful run, huh guys?

As the title of this blog would indicate, this is the 500th episode of “Survivor”, and thereby worth immortalizing, right? Definitely a milestone worth acknowledging. I just don’t see why it has to be acknowledged with a returnee season. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a BAD idea. After all, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” was done to honor the 10th anniversary of the show, and that turned out well in the long run. But “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” had something of a break between it and the last returnee season. However important the 500th episode might be, it’s still just too soon for a twist like this.

Not that we shouldn’t acknowledge the 500th episode, even if it was an all-newbie season. Here’s an idea: Rather than do the “scramble for supplies off the boat” start, have us begin on a reward challenge. The reward? A previous contestant, Rupert or Ozzy or somebody, lives at your camp for three days, and helps you get your camp life off to a humongous start. Probably have them bring some extra supplies with them as well, to sweeten the deal. BAM. A twist that we’ve never seen before (on the US version of the show at least), that both honors the show’s past, but doesn’t need to dominate the whole season. Oh, and have Probst acknowledge it in the season intro, of course.

This segways nicely into our Probst intro for the season, which for my money is good for how understated it is. It acknowledges seasons past, with the flashing of the logos and all, but doesn’t dwell on it too much, and while it has the usual superlatives, it doesn’t go too overboard with them. Hell, we pretty much skip over most of the cast bragging about themselves. And the ones we do get? Pretty appropriate. Tony and Sandra are both former winners, and therefore have bragging rights, and Malcolm and Cirie are both fan-favorite players who have many good quips in them. The only ones that ARGUABLY don’t make sense are Debbie and Brad. In the case of the former: she’s a quote machine, of COURSE you had to cut to her. As to the latter… Well, the show can be forgiven showing off one creator’s pet.

After our lack of a theme song (a real shame, as I was fond of the little snippet we heard at the beginning), we get Probst introducing the contestants to the season, once again trying to push on us that people like Sierra made game-changing moves, which I don’t think even Sierra buys. Probst also builds up another tribute to the show’s history, pointing out that they’re starting out the same way as “Survivor Borneo”. Yes, it’s DEFINITELY like “Survivor Borneo”. And “Survivor Cook Islands”. And “Survivor Philippines”. And “Survivor Cambodia”. And “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. If we get rid of the ship part of it, we can add “Survivor Tocantins”, “Survivor One World”, and “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X” to the mix. My point here, Probst, is that it’s not as unique as you like to think. Now, this is always a fun way to start the show, and I get them reusing it a lot. But for a season trying to do something new and different, I find it VERY hypocritical that we’re now getting this start for the FOURTH SEASON IN A ROW! Come up with something different!

Probst does try to change things up by noting a single tool kit up for grabs for one tribe. Two people race out, and the first to untie a series of knots gets it for their tribe. Not bad. Done already for greater stakes (rice>tools) on “Survivor Cambodia”, but not bad nonetheless. This leads to one of our two notable moments during this, when Ozzy, ever the hero, dives right in to go for the toolbox. Probst comments derisively on how no one on Mana tribe (the superior tribe in terms of whom I like, if not physical ability) even bothers to go after it, but as Hali and Jeff Varner point out, there’s really no point. This sort of contest is built for Ozzy. Only a complete moron would try to catch him up. Naturally, Caleb will attempt this in about a minute. Better to save one extra person on the ship to get more stuff for your tribe, rather than waste them on a swimming contest with Ozzy.

Our other moment comes courtesy of “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, when our beloved “Game Changer” Andrea picks up a crate of supplies, revealing an envelope labeled “Secret Advantage”. And just leaves it there. In fairness, I get how in the heat of them moment, such things could be easily overlooked, but as someone who is an avowed “Not Andrea” fan, I’ll take any excuse I can get to point out inadequacies in her game, however understandable. No, Sierra ends up picking it up, and frankly it’ll have about as much impact for her as it would for Andrea.

In the end, thanks to some fancy stealing, Nuku comes away with a bounty. After a particularly gorgeous nature shot, we cut to Mana finding their camp, where our characters start charactering right away. Michaela proves that she still has that confessional flare that we all love, talking about needing to suck up to these all-stars, and showing us her “suck up face”, which to me looks more like a pouty face, but then what do I know? Not to be outdone in the character department, Tony announces (I would say “loudly announces”, but with Tony, the “loudly” would be redundant) that he’s off to look for the idol. Give him points for flare. Everyone points out how this obviously paints a target on Tony’s back, since, you know, nobody was thinking him ALREADY, and they send Caleb and Sandra after him. This actually works out well for Tony, as he evidently had no intention of idol-hunting, and was just screwing with people. Plus, Sandra and Caleb are arguably the two people on his tribe most likely to want to work with him. Sandra, as she states, needs another winner along as a meat shield, and Caleb wants to keep Tony for his strength.

We’ll be hearing the “Tony is strong, and we need him.” argument a lot tonight, so let me just get the question going through my mind out of the way: How is Tony strong? Granted, he’s no weakling. He was on the “Brawn” tribe of “Survivor Cagayan”, and they did very well, but for an individual, it’s the individual challenges that really show one’s stuff, and Tony did not deliver. He was beaten in overall challenges by Spencer Bledsoe, a man so skinny you could turn him sideways and he’d be invisible. And in terms of individual challenge wins, he’s tied with Kass. KASS! I love and adore Kass, but a challenge beast she ain’t, and if you’re on the same level as her, no way you qualify as a challenge beast.

Harmony seems to set in at Nuku, as everyone builds their shelter all happy and cheerful. But slowly, people start to splinter off from the group. Sierra is first, naturally wanting to see what her mystery advantage is. Got to admit, this is a real head scratcher! I mean, “Survivor” is known for it’s creativity and ingenuity with it’s twists, so it could be absolutely… Yeah, it’s the Legacy Advantage again. Predictable, but I’ll give credit where credit is due, they change it up slightly. Now, rather than just activating at the Final Six, it can be used either at the Final Six or Final 13, which gives a bit more strategy in how it’s played. Also, it can now be willed to people on the opposite tribe, which further adds dimensions. They’ve changed it up enough that I’m ok with it, but as I said last season, I don’t want this to become a regular thing.

Sarah takes a minute to talk about what a social threat she is, and here I have to roll my eyes. I know people can change their ways in this game, but I find it hard to believe that the woman who went power-mad, declared herself the “President”, and so offended an ally that she made an arguably disadvantageous flip could be called good at the social game.

Ozzy also splits off from the group, unsurprisingly corralling people to get Cirie voted off. Ozzy claims it’s due to physical weakness in challenges, and I’m sure that’s a factor, but we all know the real reason is that Ozzy just wants revenge for “Survivor Micronesia”. He can swear up and down all he wants that he doesn’t hold a grudge, but we can tell he holds a grudge. The others go along with it because, like Sandra, Cirie is dangerous if you let her get very far. It’s not a bad strategy, it’s just not coming from the place Ozzy says it is.

After commercial, it’s Nuku time once again, beating the same drum, but with different players. Cirie is no stranger to reading people, and she senses something off about Ozzy. She goes over to assure herself that everything’s good between them, and Ozzy, to his credit, does a good acting job, saying that it was eight years ago, and therefore no longer a factor. We then immediately cut to Ozzy talking with JT and Tai about how Cirie needs to go. JT, also not being a huge fan of Cirie, agrees at once. Tai gives the impression of this as well, but admits in confessional that he likes Cirie, and doesn’t want to see her go. Showing that his choice in allies has gotten no smarter since “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, Tai goes to Cirie and warns her that all is not good with Ozzy, and hints heavily in silence that he’s gunning for her. This sets Cirie on edge, and we see her start to put some feelers out about possible allies.

Back at Mana, Tony’s antics continue, as he gets to work on the construction of his “spy bunker”, a hole being dug by the water well. This was heavily advertised pre-season, and even then, it seemed ludicrous to me. I mean, Tony’s not a small guy, and digging a hole, especially without a shovel, is harder than it seems. Sure enough, Tony gets caught out by Troyzan, leading to more obvious talk about how Tony needs to be the first to go. Ciera in particular is pushing it hard, lobbying for a 4-4 split between Tony and Caleb, his protege. Everyone readily agrees to this, but Malcolm admits in confessional that Ciera is playing a bit too hard, and if all else fails, she may need to go.

Before we get to our challenge, let me say that I LOVE the misdirection here. Not in terms of who the targets are; those have been firmly established. No, once again, “Survivor” does an excellent job of balancing out the strategy on both sides. Granted, we’ve had a bit more strategy talk with Mana, but Nuke has the Cirie/Ozzy feud to work with, and since both tribes were shown an equal amount, there’s extra excitement about who will come out on top, particularly as this challenge ends up being close.

Good thing, too, because the challenge itself is BORING! It’s a rehash of a challenge, and not a particularly epic one at that. Allow me to describe this challenge as I have before: 7 tribe members will go over a water obstacle course to untie a boat containing a box of puzzle pieces.  They will then paddle the boat to shore, bring up the box of puzzle pieces, and leave the remaining 3 tribe members to solve an admittedly pretty complicated ship’s wheel puzzle, which must then be spun to raise a flag.  First tribe with the flag raised wins immunity and flint. 

Yes, this is an exact copy of what I wrote about this challenge (save for upping the number of tribe members) when it was first run on “Survivor Blood vs. Water”. It’s exactly the same thing, with the only change being that the boat part comes at the beginning, rather than the end, which is hardly a substantial change. I understand that returnee seasons usually reuse challenges, but again, we JUST saw this sort of thing on “Survivor Cambodia”, and there they tended to reuse the most epic of challenges, particularly for the first one. This, while ok overall, does not fit that category.

We get the reveal of our immunity idol. Taking a twist from “Scooby-Doo”, we reveal that our immunity idol for the season is Captain Cuttler. Talking about aesthetics for a second, I must admit that while I wasn’t a huge fan of this season’s look when first revealed, it’s grown on me. We’ve had “shipwreck” seasons before, but this one ages things up a bit, looking for like an early 20th century shipwreck than a late 18th century shipwreck. I was initially skeptical about doing such a, for want of a better term, “modern” theme on the show, but for whatever reason, the art department did a good enough job that I’m ok with it.

Probst also reveals the head-spinning twist that revotes will no longer be a “thing”. Now, in the event of a split-vote tie, we will jump straight to the “unanimous decision or rock draw” phase of a tiebreaker. Like the look of this season, I was initially skeptical, but this grew on me as well, though the twist took less time to look good than the aesthetic did. Sure, we’ve had times where the revote did actually change someone’s mind (notably Cochran on “Survivor South Pacific”), but by and large, this phase is just a formality, and what it DID allow to happen was that a hidden immunity idol could be flushed with no risk to the majority. Basically, it forced the creation of supermajorities. The reason I’m ok with taking that away is that I like coming up with new and different ways to solve problems. One of the reasons I’m a fan of the hidden immunity idol is that there’s a number of ways around it, and a number of ways to undo those ways around it. My point is, while helpful, it’s not a guarantee of anything. That said, there’s not a lot to be done about a supermajority, so I can understand having a disincentive towards them. I do wish that the way around supermajorities had come from the game itself, rather than a rule by the showrunners, but there’s also a limit to how much you can influence math, so I’m willing to take it in stride.

As I say, this challenge is a close one. The tribes start off relatively even. Nuku gains a lead, because Ozzy, and then loses it on opening a lockbox, then gains it again when Jeff Varner has trouble with HIS lock box, then loses it again when Sandra and Ciera do well on the puzzle. As an aside, the best part of this challenge? CLEARLY Varner channelling the spirit of Jonathan Penner (“Survivor Cook Islands”), and bitching at Probst when Probst claims he’s panicking. I knew there was a reason I wasn’t too upset.

In the end, Nuku takes home Captain Cuttler, and Mana is left to decide who will get the “honor” of going home first on a season such as this. Since Ciera stated previously that it would be horrible to be the first one to go home on a season called “Game Changers”, naturally it will be her, but let’s see how this plays out.

Tony, recognizing that he’s in trouble, pulls together a bunch of people to find out what’s going on. Malcolm, again wanting to keep “strength” around, points out that Ciera is really the only one throwing names out, emphasizing my point about her not yet being over the trauma of “Survivor Cambodia” and trying to get people to play too hard, too fast. When Ciera starts to come up the path towards out group, Tony needs a quick name to throw out. Now, the SMART thing to do would be to have others confide in Ciera privately that Tony is the target, as Ciera wanted him out anyway, and it offends no one. But no, Tony uses Michaela as bait, since she’s an unknown quantity.

Michaela takes it well. Now you know why Fiji has one less island than it used to.

Actually, to Michaela’s credit, she manages to keep relatively cool, mostly limiting her blowing up to confessionals and aside glances at a few choice allies. Granted, people can still tell that she’s upset, but she doesn’t wear her heart QUITE as openly as she did last season.

Sandra unsurprisingly informs us that Michaela’s attitude has now ACTUALLY put her on the chopping block, but I don’t buy it for a minute. Tony versus Ciera, I could understand. There’s solid reasons for getting rid of both of them. But Michaela vs. Ciera? It’s obvious who’s more threatening on a strategy level, and who’s less capable physically. Not really a contest here, fellas.

At least we get a cool-looking Tribal Council. It’s also shipwreck-themed, so basically the Tribal Council from “Survivor Cook Islands” aged up a century or two. I think it’s the lighthouse voting booth that really sells it. That’s a creative idea.

I can’t say Tribal Council is uninteresting, but I can’t say that anything great stands out about it either, save for Malcolm’s attempt to speak llama. Yeah, you knew you couldn’t have a season with Tony without that reference. Ciera is sent packing in a 9-1 vote, which she handles with grace. Ultimately, I’m not all that sorry to see her go. As I’ve said in my “Cast Assessment” blog, I have more respect for Ciera than some in the fan community, but she played too hard, too fast, we got pretty much what we expected to get, and so didn’t need anything more from her, and was the logical choice out of these two. Between her and Tony? It would have to be Tony. For all that Ciera is an obvious player, she plays logically. Tony is just too manic and crazy a player to be kept around. That being said, I DO understand why they didn’t want to target Tony. There was talk beforehand of Tony possibly having an idol, and with the majority only being flimsy at this point, combined with the revelation that splitting votes is riskier this season, I could see people wanting to play it safe, especially for the first vote.

I am, however, upset that we didn’t get to hear Ciera’s final words. First out or not, she was a part of the season, and deserves respect for that alone.

Things are surprisingly calm at Mana the next day, which naturally drives Tony up the wall. Forget Judd Sergeant (“Survivor Guatemala”), THIS is the guy who has “AYE-DEE-DEE!” Or, more accurately, ADHD. Fortunately for Tony, Aubry soon joins him at the water well, and they discuss strategy. Together they channel the spirit of Jeremy Collins (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”), and resurrect the meat shield strategy. Not bad for either of them. Tony is a memorable winner, making him a target, and Aubry played a fantastic game on the last season seen before the filming of this one, so both need that protection of a big target. Caleb, while not a big target, is brought on for his strength and loyalty, with Aubry pulling in Malcolm and Tony bringing in Sandra as fourth and fifth, since both are big targets for playing well and winning twice, respectively. All agree to the plan separately, and for now, the alliance seems stable.

Old habits die hard at Nuku, as Tai once again cares for the chickens, to the point that it starts offending his other tribe members. Nuku seems more determined to be eating those chickens than Gondol was, and when Tai suggest sacrificing more of their corn for the chickens, JT in particular freaks out. Tai doesn’t seem to push the issue too much, but he does seem to be an odd man out on this tribe.

We also get a tidbit where Nuku discusses names for the chicken. In particular, Brad wants to name one of them Monica. Ok, apart from me being a little freaked out that you would name an animal you want to KILL AND EAT after your wife, this does bring up that Brad is more than the one-dimensional character I have accused him of being. He is, in fact, two-dimensional. Here are those dimensions now:

Dimension 1: Sexist.

Dimension 2: In love with Monica.

Truly, the makings of “Survivor” greatness right there.

Since we haven’t yet had enough “spy bunker” to last us, we cut to tony, late at night, working on it. Once again, however, Troyzan nearly catches him out. Tony gets away just in time, but overhears him and Sandra talking. Tony’s name DOES come up, but it’s in the realm of “Tony’s strong, and we have to keep him around.” Normally, this would sound GOOD to a potential ally, but there are two things you have to remember. One: Tony is slightly deaf, as he also misheard things on “Survivor Cagayan”. Two: Tony is paranoid/impatient. In the case of the latter, he confronts Sandra aggressively, effectively ending his own game right then and there by alienating a necessary ally.

Amazingly, this leads Sandra to play a more proactive game, as she goes and rounds up Hali, Varner, Troyzan, and Michaela into an alliance against the meat-shields. It pleases me to see this side of Sandra this early, and while I feel like Sandra does kind of need the meat-shield alliance to help protect her, I can understand wanting to get rid of it after Tony’s behavior.

This second half of the episode has been just kind of “ok” so far in my opinion, but now it gives us the scene of the night at Nuku. Cirie, once again, recognizes the danger to her time in the game because of Ozzy, and sets out to gather allies. She first approaches Sarah. Sarah plays nice to her face, but says in confessional that she’d vote against Cirie. She next approaches Zeke. Zeke plays nice to her face, but says in confessional that he’d vote against Cirie. She next approaches Debbie. Debbie plays nice, but says in confessional that she’d vote against Cirie. Funny patterns like that can really make “Survivor” entertaining, and this is no exception. God bless Cirie, but her trying so hard and failing so miserably is just funny to me.

There IS another scene at Mana here, but it’s just Tony and Caleb rehashing the same points as before, so I feel no need to dwell on it. Instead, we get to our immunity challenge. While not great, it does seem marginally better than the one we had before. In teams of six, tribes will race out across a glance beam and into a cage to untie a giant snake from the ocean floor. Bringing back the 400-pound behemoth, the remaining three with untie parts of the snake to reveal numbers for a combination lock, releasing rings. These rings must then be tossed onto paddles, raising them to spell the word “immunity”, with the first tribe to spell it winning Captain Cuttler. There’s elements of challenges from “Survivor Gabon”, “Survivor Caramoan”, and “Survivor Kaoh Rong” here, but they’re minimal enough that I’d call it original. It’s not the most exciting thing ever, and I’ll admit the paddle part was a bit hokey, but overall I’d give it a thumbs-up.

There’s still a certain amount of mystery as to who will win, especially since the show takes great pains to show us Cirie being the sit-out for Nuku, but fortunately the challenge makes up for that. Nuku gets a MUCH bigger lead this time around, mainly due to the inexplicable decision of Mana to put Jeff Varner on the carrying portion, but Nuku chokes on the ring toss, to the point where Malcolm catches Mana up. If this comeback had worked, it would have rivaled Kass’ comeback on “Survivor Cagayan”.

Luckilly for Kass, her record stands. Malcolm chokes at the very end, earning the ire of Michaela for not switching out when she asked to try. Captain Cuttler stays with Nuku, and the bloodbath at Mana can begin. Whereas before it had been unclear as to who Tony and Caleb would try to swing to their side, with Michaela being so upset about this loss, it’s clear that she will be the one to swing. So, between keeping in the physical threats or sticking with the weaker underdogs, where should Michaela go? For me, the choice is clearly to stick with the underdogs, and that’s not just because we know a swap is coming, thereby rendering physical strength useless. Tony is a chaotic element, and while Sandra is dangerous if you let her get too far; better to go with the gameplay you can predict. Plus, while Michaela is definitely a challenge beast, she’s on the weaker end of that alliance. With the underdogs, she’s clearly needed in the pre-merge, but not as big of a target in the post-merge, due to the presence of people like Sandra. Better to stick with that plan.

Our negotiations are pretty standard, so let’s head off to a contradictory Tribal Council. I say contradictory because, on the one hand, it has a lot more stand-out moments than the first one. We have the bug in Sandra’s hair, the sudden declaration of love for Tony from pretty much all of the guys there, and, of course, Varner’s “Square Peg in a Round Hole” comment which freaks Tony out, leading to arguably the greatest Sandra zinger yet: “He means he hopes he ain’t the square peg.” We’ve also got more of a mystery to the vote, as logic dictates Tony leaving, while editing dictates a Sandra exit. On the other hand, when I think back to which Tribal Council had more impact, I think it was the first one. The only real logic I can find for all of this is that it felt like the first Tribal Council had more strategic buildup than this one, and that may have impacted enjoyment.

Logic prevails, and Tony goes home. Like with Ciera, while I have a lot of respect for him, I’m not overly sorry to see him go. We packed PLENTY of Tony into those first two episodes, and now we can move on to bigger and better things. And, of course, Tony goes out yelling and complaining. His and Sandra’s feud did live up to expectations.

It’s a bit hard for me to put my finger on my overall thoughts of this episode. It’s not going to be one of the overall great openings for a season, but it definitely satisfied, and is still a fairly strong start to the season. I think the main problem with it IS the buildup of the “Game Changers” title, and the whole “500th” episode thing. What we got, for any standard season, would be a strong start. But this episode was so built up, even getting the rare 2-hour time slot, that we can’t help but feel that it should have been an epic of massive proportions. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t what we hoped. And as a two-hour episode, it just didn’t work for me. With an all-stars type season, you have a rare opportunity to give us two hours on one vote, just to give us a much time as possible with these “fan favorite” players. Instead, you go for cramming two episodes together, with all the pitfalls it entails. Not that the second half was bad, but again, I think the first half had the better moments overall, leaving the second part just feeling kind of lacking, particularly as a lot of it just rehashed the first part. Also, it feels like a wasted opportunity, since we know the tribes will be changed up the next episode. We didn’t have a chance to really get attached to this combination of people, and already we shake things up. Split them up, give us two episodes that stand better on their own than in comparison to one another, and give us more time with this combination of tribes before a shake-up.

For all my complaints, though, I still like the start of this season, and it definitely has potential. You may be expecting a “Top 5 and Bottom 5” here, and looking at the preview for next episode, I do have one in mind that I’ll probably do. However, I’m saving it, partly because I have to get up early tomorrow, and partly because I suspect the next episode will have one, and I hate doing two in a row.

Let’s hope for a fun ride!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospective: Blood vs. Water

Writing these “‘Survivor’ Retrospectives” blogs may give me whiplash. While seasons are connected to one another in terms of history, very often two seasons will tell very different tales. Case in point: having “Survivor Blood vs. Water” come right after “Survivor Caramoan”. As I talked about in my previous blog, “Survivor Caramoan” was in many ways a season of retreads. We had previously used twists, a previously used location, and even previously used contestants, most of whom were disliked. With “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, we have a truly innovative twist, many new ideas being sprung on us at once, and a cast that is maybe no more original than “Survivor Caramoan”, holds up a whole lot better to scrutiny, for reasons that I’ll get into shortly. Point being, where “Survivor Caramoan” tread on sacred ground, “Survivor Blood vs. Water” dared to blaze a new train and explore heretofore unknown territory. Always a gamble, but did it pay off?

To find out, though, you must first sit through my spoiler warning. Be aware that I write this blog from the perspective of someone, having already seen the show, talking to a person equally in the know about the ins and outs of this season. The idea is to individually scrutinize each element that makes up a season, see what works and doesn’t for this season, and talk about how it all comes together and why it works or does not. Don’t worry if you’re just looking for a spoiler-free recommendation, though. If you scroll to the very bottom of this page, I have an “Abstract” section, which is just what you’re looking for. So, once you’ve decided what part or parts of this blog to read (“None.” is technically an acceptable answer, but you make me cry), let’s get into the blog itself.

CAST

Breaking from my usual format, I’m going to start off the “Cast” section by addressing a point from the “Overall” section. If “Survivor Blood vs. Water” could be described in once cliche, it would be “Jack of all trades, master of none.”. I don’t just mean that in the sense of “Every category is strong, but doesn’t stand out”, but within the categories themselves, things get a bit convoluted. Case in point, the cast. Usually in this section, I try and talk about the biggest, most breakout character to come out of the season, and work my way down from there. This is not to say that “Blood vs. Water” doesn’t have those breakout characters, but none really shines above the others. Thankfully, though, if I AM forced to quantify things, there are two big characters who stand out from this season, and both of them happen to be new faces to this series. We have Ciera Eastin and Vytas Baskauskas. Like I said before, I try and talk about people in descending order of breakout-ness (my word), but it’s really a pretty close tie between these two. Some might argue that, given how much she’s talked about today, Ciera is clearly the larger breakout of the two. However, I would counter that this is largely due to the existence of “Survivor Cambodia” at the time of this writing. SPOILER ALERT: Ciera lasts a long time on that season, while Vytas is the first one out. That could easily skew things in the minds of the viewing public. Let us not forget that Vytas was basically the heartbreaker of this season. He never quite reached Malcolm Freberg (“Survivor Philippines”) levels in this regard, but he was up there. Easy on the eyes, Vytas used his charm to snake his way through what of the game he could, even managing to pull a Chris Daugherty (“Survivor Vanuatu”) and survive a women’s alliance out for his blood. Granted, he got voted out shortly thereafter, but it was still an impressive number of votes survived. And this, as he himself admits, is largely due to his tragic backstory. Vytas, you see, is a former crack addict, even doing time for petty theft to feed his addiction. A sob story like this plays well on “Survivor” period, but it comes off in an even more pronounced way due to the twist of this season. I’ll be talking more about my thoughts on all this in the “Twist” section, naturally, but suffice to say that Vytas’ brother also competed on this season. If Vytas’ last name sounded familiar, it’s because his brother happens to be Aras Baskauskas, winner of “Survivor Exile Island”. While Aras is generally considered one of the more boring winners the show ever produced (which is not helped this season. Coincidentally, Aras will not be talked about in the “Cast” section on his own merits), he WAS considered a model of purity and goodness, peace-loving yoga instructor that he is. Vytas and Aras had similar personalities overall, but Vytas had a dark edge to him, while Aras was, again, purity and goodness. They played off each other, as pretty much no matter what, one of them would have something you liked. A proverbial “Betty and Veronica” choice, if you will. For my part, I did enjoy Vytas, and think he’s a good character. He had a good underdog story, and that aforementioned edge made him a more intriguing character than his brother. While his time in the game was overall too short, I did enjoy watching Vytas play, and dutifully voted for him to come back.

On to Ciera, here we have a character who took a little more time to blossom. Being on the bottom of early alliances gave her a bit of an underdog story, but she didn’t really come into her own until after the tribe swap. After that, she was allowed to be a part of the dominant alliance, and here she showed that she could hang with the best of them. She quickly became a major player in the alliance, helping to call a lot of the shots, and notably calling the bluff of the minority players this time around. For reasons I’ll get into shortly, Ciera often gets knocked as “Not that great a player”, but she had her moments. Don’t believe me? Go back and watch the scene where Katie Collins (who won’t be talked about beyond this paragraph) tries to bluff how she has an idol, and watch how Ciera completely turns the whole thing around on her. Masterful. And for a first time player, making it so deep against fairly stiff competition is nothing to sneeze at. But, to address her bad points, Ciera did make a gaffe in waiting an episode too long to flip on her alliance-mates, when she saw they would take her no further. An error, to be sure, but I don’t think it counteracts the good moves she made beforehand. And, after all, to ere is human. It may have been an error, but in my book, it makes her more compelling. The other counterargument is that her “signature move” of voting out her mother, Laura Morett (“Survivor Samoa”, was not as big a deal as the show made it out. To which I wholeheartedly agree. After all, “Survivor”, in all its glory, is also a very cheesy show. It wouldn’t be “Survivor” if it didn’t amp up the melodrama and blow things out of proportion. Still, I don’t think it takes away from the importance of the move as a whole. It was sacrificing a close ally to endear yourself to the power players. On most any other season, that would be hailed as a brilliant move! To have it not be for Ciera is a double standard for the season. As for myself, I think Ciera is a good addition to the show, since she’s such an unlikely mastermind. I’ll admit, I was prepared to dislike her for her fundamentalist beliefs, since I’m an atheist, but they didn’t really bleed into the show, so I can’t hold them against her. For what we got, the shock alone of seeing THIS character of all people become a breakout hit is pretty startling, and seeing her machinate and evolve as time went by was also a great joy.

And so, for our third and final good major hit, we come to our winner, Tyson Apostol (“Survivor Tocantins”). Coming off of a laughably ridiculous exit from “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” Tyson was something of an underdog. Even Jeff Probst thought he didn’t stand much of a chance. But Tyson is not to be underestimated. On both his previous appearances, his ego was his undoing, and Tyson learned from that fact, pretty well keeping himself in check the entire time. For my personal benefit (since I’m not a huge fan of his humor), he toned down the snark a great deal, though it’s still there. This is a double-edged sword, though, as it makes him more likable but less memorable. His strategic play and whats left of his snark do make him memorable enough, but compared to his other seasons, he just seems like an all-business version of himself. Even his win isn’t that exciting. It was pretty well-broadcast from early on, and while his strategic play was good, it was also mainly standard stuff we see most seasons executed superbly. Like I said, Ciera and Vytas were the real movers and shakers of the season, but Tyson still makes a good winner overall, just not the most interesting part of the season.

Note, though, the adjective “good” in that previous topic sentence. Yes, sadly, there is one breakout hit who must be discussed now. Get out the “Misogynist-Beater” Sticks, we’re talking Brad Culpepper. The former pro-Football player came out with the proverbial guns blazing, being the driving force of strategy for the first six episodes, and coming out with incredibly sexist and homophobic attitudes within the first hour of showtime. Never forget that is was Brad Culpepper who counted Caleb Bankston, the gay man of his tribe, as “One of the girls”. Let us also not forget that large swaths of the case, and pretty much all of the audience hated the guy’s guys. He always deferred to guys if he was going to be subservient, and was pretty much a jackass the whole way through. Sometimes that can be fun to watch, but Brad lacks the charm for that, and is also hindered by his sexism. Some have praised his appearance for inciting discussion of gender politics on “Survivor”, and that’s certainly true, but most people, myself included, would have preferred he just never showed up and gave us this unpleasantness in the first place. While it was fun to watch his alliance fall, Brad’s schtick, such as it is, got old within the first episode, and having to put up with such attitudes front, center, and arguably praised on the show was no fun. That said, I will give Brad credit for one of the funnies subtle arcs in the show’s history. It’s established early on that the TRUE enemy of Brad Culpepper is not the elements, his fellow competitors, or even Jeff Probst. No, Brad’s true enemy is FIRST GRADE MATH! When talking of forming his alliance, Brad incorrectly says that five is greater than four. He makes some other math goofs besides that, but that one scene gets the point across. Cut to Brad’s elimination episode, and what gets him evicted? Counting the numbers 1-100. Sweet poetic justice. Still doesn’t justify his place on the show, but funny nonetheless.

Now, we move on to our second category, that being “Those who were big at the time, but have since fallen into relative obscurity”. I use the term “relative” in this case, because the more recent the season, the more people are talked about. Still, people live Vytas and Ciera still get mentioned a lot to this day, and while these next people are still talked about, it’s not NEARLY to the degree that the previous people are, and so we put them here. Paralleling our biggest characters, we start off with a pair of new-player strategists. First up, we have Hayden Moss, a former “Big Brother” winner and a favorite example of stunt casting. At this point, while “Big Brother” was a part of the “Big 3” of CBS reality television, and had crossed over with “The Amazing Race”, no one had really crossed over back to “Survivor”. So, the question was, how would he do? After all, it’s one thing to win “Big Brother”, but “Survivor” is generally considered the toughest of the “Big 3”, so would those skills transfer over? Surprisingly, yes. Hayden, while nothing particularly special, proved himself to be a halfway decent strategist, skillfully shifting between alliances at the swap, and ultimately organizing a counter-alliance against Tyson that, had the timing been better, might actually have succeeded in overthrowing him. Add onto that him helping to force the first rock draw since “Survivor Marquesas”, and you’ve definitely got a guy worth remembering. I think he’s forgotten mainly because his personality was just that of a generic, laid-back guy, and while he did try and make big moves, and they were well-thought-out, none of them were particularly successful. I think there are better characters to focus on, so I’m not TOO disappointed that Hayden isn’t talked about so much, but the guy deserves respect, and was a decent enough addition to the season.

Hayden would be nowhere without his successful partner in crime, though. Caleb Bankston, an Alabama farm boy, proved to be much more that the racist stereotype many thought he would be at the outset. Very laid-back, Caleb quickly endeared himself by having an obviously sweet nature, and earning the ire of Brad Culpepper (and thereby the love of the audience) for his sexual orientation. Satisfyingly, Caleb was one of the main driving forces behind the eviction of Brad, calling an audible shift at Tribal Council that succeeded on the revote. Arguably, this makes him more successful than Hayden, since while Hayden was generally more the lead role (Caleb taking on the role of lieutenant), Caleb actually has a victory to his name. So, why isn’t Caleb talked about nowadays, if he was a decent, likable strategist who helped get rid of a major asshole? Sure, he’s kind of generic, but not to the degree that Hayden is. Well, the trouble for Caleb is that a lot of talk and airtime centers around people the audience wants back on the show, and while the audience may indeed wish Caleb back on the show (certainly I do), Caleb can’t come back. Regrettably, Caleb was killed in a train accident about a year after the show had aired. It’s a tragic loss, both of a life and of a good character. May he rest in peace, and those who knew him well find solace in his legacy.

Moving on to our returnees here, the name of the game is “Underdog Story”. A bit odd to find returning players in this situation, but there you go. In fact, we got THREE such stories this season! First off, we have something of a duo in Laura Morett (“Survivor Samoa”) and Tina Wesson (“Survivor The Australian Outback”). I lump them together both because they worked together later on, and because their arcs both revolve around the same thing. I’ll be going into more detail in the “Twist” section, but suffice to say that the God-awful “Redemption Island” twist makes a return. Laura ended up here pre-merge, and fought her way back into the game. She managed to avoid being voted off IMMEDIATELY, but did fall again before too long, and fought her way to the final duel. Tina, meanwhile, had control wrested from her at the merge (when she’d been playing a solid game up to that point), and had to fight her way back against some of the most athletic competitors from this season. No small feat for either of them, particularly given that they’re considered “old” by the standards of “Survivor” (at the time of filming, Laura was 43 years old, and Tina 52). Tina was already well-liked, and Laura showed her softer side this time, particularly with her daughter Ciera, so both were likable enough as well. For my part, their story was enjoyable, and they made fun underdogs to root for, so why should they be forgotten? “Survivor” tending to underemphasize story arcs relating to women, particularly older women, is a factor, but I think the major one is just the fact that they were returnees. While the returnees once again ran the game this season, the real intrigue was with the new players, particularly having just come off of another season featuring returning players, and so Tina and Laura regretfully fall by the wayside.

As to our third, we have surprise challenge beast and self-proclaimed “nice person” Monica Culpepper (“Survivor One World”). Obviously the wife of Brad Culpepper, Monica had a big story going early on. Since Brad was the center of a large amount of controversy, it only seems fitting that she would be drawn in as well. As you’d expect, Monica was more than a little upset at hearing her husband talked about this way (bear in mind that the quote for the season is “Fuck you, Brad Culpepper!”), and so attempted to defend him at every turn. This controversy also led to her getting clues to the hidden immunity idol, due to a twist I’ll talk about in the “Twist” section, though little came of it, since she took to burning said clues in a convenient fire pit. However, she struggled through a rough tart, got into the enviable position of swing vote come the merge, and utterly DOMINATED the individual challenges. Hell, her efforts earned her second place overall. Hardly a bd showing, and while her occasional melodrama and her ties to Brad do drag her character down a bit, she’s still one of the better parts of the season, and it’s a shame she’s not as talked about now. She should be up there with the Colby’s (“Survivor The Australian Outback”) and the Ozzy’s (“Survivor Cook Islands”) of the show. I can only attribute her lack of popularity to a combination of the aforementioned Brad connection and “Survivor” not emphasizing her story as much.

Moving on to our rapid-fire section on people who maybe weren’t as big of a character on the show, but deserve mention for one reason or another, we have another returnee. Yes Candice Cody, formerly Candice Woodcock of “Survivor Cook Islands” comes in as a last-minute replacement for RC Saint-Armour from “Survivor Philippines”, and had a decent run on Redemption Island, since she was the first person sent there. For my part, I find her annoying, and place a lot of the blame for the ruination of “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” on her, so I’m not sorry to see the back of her. Still, she did help incite a lot of the Brad bashing on the show (she uttered the aforementioned “Fuck you, Brad Culpepper!”), so there’s that. Also memorable in the quotes department was Kat Edorsson (“Survivor One World”), who would not bear mentioning were it not for the fact that upon being sent to Redemption Island she talked about how people who don’t make the merge are “Undateable”. This is just the kind of pathetic and shallow comment we expect from Kat, so it STILL wouldn’t be worth mentioning were it not for the fact that the term “dateable” has now become a part of “Survivor” fan parlance, meaning whether or not someone will make the merge, so she needs at least a passing mention.

And finally, we come to it. The sin that REALLY drags this season down! Yes, about as much as Brad Culpepper. Some IDIOT in casting thought it would be to get Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”) to come back for another season. You know, the guy who was a whiny, racist asshole and then either quit or got medevaced depending on your point of view? Yeah, another season of him is REALLY what we needed! True, his time was mercifully short, seeing him get verbally TRASHED by Probst was a nice touch, and he did give us Caleb, but that doesn’t excuse having to put up with him in the first place only for him to actually OUTRIGHT quit this time, making him effectively a wasted space. Sorry, sorry, I try to be nice to Colton, since Caleb obviously saw something in him and after losing Caleb, the guy’s been through enough, but there was really little to no point to having Colton back and he’s just unpleasant to watch! UGH!

Overall, though, the cast is very strong. The new players stand out just as much, if not better than, the returnees, strong gameplay abounds, and there are a lot of fun story arcs to follow, even if your favorite left early. A pretty strong cast for a pretty good season. It did have a few unpleasant people dragging it down, though, so I’ll knock off two points for that. One each for Brad and Colton. Seems fair.

Score: 8 out of 10.

CHALLENGES

The challenges this season are a mixed bag, leaning towards the side of being good. Part of what drags it down is due to the “Redemption Island” twist, since it means we’re only getting one full-scale challenge per episode. And then, we get a large number of repeat challenges from past season, which is more than a little annoying. When we DO get original challenges this season, though, they tend to be memorable and entertaining ones. Some of them even went on to become “Survivor” staples, like the barrel-rolling challenge. However, not every new idea is a hit. Bear in mind that THIS season brought us the popularization of skee-ball as a challenge element, which I maintain is a stupid challenge element.

That said, I have got to give this season credit in one major area: the balance of good challenges. Most of the time in this section I complain about the loss of scale for individual challenges, and how it drags this section down. This is not a complaint I can have about Blood vs. Water. While the individual challenges are a mixed bag, I remember as many if not more of them than the team challenges, and this season did a very good job making them tough and entertaining. The negatives I mentioned earlier do hurt this category a certain amount, but that’s a major feather in the cap of this category.

Score: 7 out of 10.

TWISTS

Hoo boy, this section is going to be a toughie. Blood vs. Water is nothing if not twist-happy, so we might be here a while. I suppose it’s best to start with the elephant in the room, that being the twist of “Blood vs. Water” itself. As I hinted at before, this season pitted returning players against their loved ones, adding a personal connection between the tribes never before seen on the show. It is, without question, the defining twist of the season, but is it any good? Well, regardless of the answer to that question, I can say that it was at least innovative. “Survivor” loves to boast about still having “firsts” many seasons in, but oftentimes these “firsts” are nothing more than marketing fabrication. Here, however, we have a legitimately new and interesting that can potentially have us watch a whole new game. That in and of itself is a plus, but the fact that the twist came off so well only adds fuel to the good fire here. As I wrote before this season began, this twist had the potential to go horribly wrong, to have a show now primarily about strategy spiral into personal arguments worthy of shows like “Jersey Shore” or “Real Housewives”. And, with all the Brad stuff we’d be getting into later, it seemed like the show might take that route. In the end, though, the presence of a personal dynamic enhanced, rather than hindered, strategy. People took revenge on tribe members they didn’t like through their loved ones, alliances were formed either to benefit couples or against the idea of couples. Ideas we’d never even thought of came to the forefront, giving us an innovative season like we hadn’t seen in a while! Sure, “Survivor Philippines” and “Survivor Caramoan” were both GOOD, there’s no doubts there, but they lacked a lot of innovation. Blood vs. Water brought that in spades. Ergo, good twist.

Talking about the other previously-mentioned twist, Redemption Island is back this season, working pretty much the same way it always has, and for those reasons, I still hate it. However, it’s worth noting that many say that this was actually a “good” incarnation of the twist, and it’s not hard to see why, given the one change that was made to Redemption Island this time around. We had three-person duels, which seem inherently less exciting than two-person duels, so the production came up with an incentive for first place. The outright winner of a duel won the right to assign someone still in the game a clue to the hidden immunity idol, a dynamic that got taken full advantage of, and used in revenge against the family members of people the winner happened to dislike. The logic was that having such an obvious idol clue made one a target, and therefore one got revenge on the person they hated. Why not give it to the hated one outright? Well, while making one a target, the idol clue does have the potential to give one great power, by finding a hidden immunity idol, and you don’t want your enemy to get that. Best risk vs. reward outcome here. The other major twist of Redemption Island was the opportunity to swap places with your loved one at any duel. they would take your place on your tribe, and you would fight for your life. This rarely came into play in that regard, since only one person (Rupert Boneham of “Survivor Pearl Islands”) was foolish enough to swap, but again, it did change the strategy of early votes, since now one would vote people off in the hopes of getting a strong competitor on the other side to swap in. Both excellent twists, and while I’ll talk about this more in the “Overall” section, I can’t deny that many of the more memorable moments on this season came as a result of this twist. Woe, then, that I must still point out that, while better than other incarnations, the Redemption Island twist is still a horrible idea, for all the reasons I’ve enumerated previously. It gets rid of challenges, it violates one of the few firm doctrines of “Survivor” (“Once the votes are read, the decision is final.”), and most damning, it moves what should be the climax of an episode right to the beginning, thereby lessing the impact of each episode overall. Granted, the good points I’ve mentioned are still there, and do make the twist more bearable, but it’s like being rewarded with a brownie after eating a shit sandwich. Yes, the brownie is delicious, but is it really worth eating an entire shit sandwich to get it?

Moving to a more chronological structure, our first twist actually revolves around when the game starts. Rather than begin on “Day 1”, we were given a “Day 0”, which saw each couple being marooned together, though with each couple separated from the others. A chance to talk strategy alone, and really get to know these couples as couples before they’re inevitably split up? Wow! What a really great idea! If only they gave it time to develop. Yep, while we get a couple of cursory interviews during “Day 0”, the twist was really pointless, basically just giving the show a fancy way of opening the new season. It’s not that the twist is bad, but it ultimately has no impact on the show as a whole, and is just kind of pointless. It’s a shame, really, because I feel that this twist had a lot of potential to be really fun and bring out new aspects of “Survivor”. Instead, it was a glorified opening. I don’t count it AGAINST this section, but neither does it count FOR it, and I have to shake my head at the waste of potential.

Following this, we get our first fully reused twist, courtesy of “Survivor Tocantins”. After being divided into a tribe of returning players and a tribe of new players, each tribe is asked to vote out one person to be sent to Redemption Island. While a reused twist, this is one we hadn’t seen in a while, and the personal connection really makes this one work, since it’s our first example of voting someone out to get back at a potential threat. Bear in mind that the returnees had COLTON CUMBIE on their tribe, and yet the elected to vote out Candice. The new players vote out Laura Boneham, leading to the one instance of a loved one swapping out, with Rupert stepping in for his wife, after some coercion by Probst (the man went on and on about how big a hero Rupert is seen as, so there was no way he wasn’t stepping in. Granted, I think he’d have stepped in regardless, but the point still stands). Also, Aras voting for Gervase Peterson (“Survivor Borneo”), and giving the reason as “Hating the Philadelphia Eagles”? Hilarious. Thumbs up unequivocally for this one.

Now we get into the player twists, and how tribe dynamics develop. We don’t get much of Galang (the returnees), in the first couple episodes, other than some cursory talk about how Laura Boneham is the odd person out, and Colton whines a lot about the game being “too slow”, but we’ll have plenty to talk about later. Tadhana, however, is another story, as the guys form something of a “Boys Club”, and take control of the tribe. This also gives us our first instance of voting someone out in revenge. Gervase’s niece, Marissa Peterson, was voted out due to Gervase making an ass of himself at the immunity challenge, leading Tadhana to want revenge. These are the sort of new voting dynamics that make this season so innovative and good, so once again, thumbs up.
Episode 3 brought us two minor shake-ups. After trying unsuccessfully to get a “Survivor One World” alliance together, Monica decided to abandon the already on-the-outs Colton in favor of a stronger alliance, including Aras, Tina, Tyson, Gervase, and ostensibly Kat. Worth noting here is the emergence of “Coconut Bandits” Tyson and Gervase, so named when the pair snuck off and ate most of gallants coconuts. A minor moment, but a fun part of the season worth mentioning.

This perceived lack of strategizing (since no one would talk to him) led to Colton opting to quit the game. While it was nice that his time was mercifully short, and even with a nice berating from Probst on the way out, this was still a poor exit for Colton that did not justify his place on the show. Then, of course, there was the MAJOR shake-up of episode 3, where Brad started to realize that, by voting out one half of a couple, it incentivized the other half to get rid of couples. Add onto that the fact that Brad figured he had a guaranteed merge spot along with Monica, and Brad very suddenly changed tactics to voting off the remaining half of couples that he could. Since John had been given a hidden immunity idol clue early on, Brad became paranoid about it being used against him, and since his other half was effectively out of the game, guess who got voted out? However, this paranoia would prove to be Brad’s undoing next episode. In a crowning moment for Caleb, he quickly realized that this made him a potential target to Brad (Laura Boneham being untouchable on Galang at the moment), and so, after hearing Brad give a horrible answer at Tribal Council, called an audible and eliminated him, along with Vytas and the remaining ladies. This, for me, is the highlight of the pre-merge game. Getting rid of an unlikeable villain in a very blatant and unusual way? That’s good “Survivor” right there.

Minor note worth mentioning here: the immunity challenge from that episode also featured a minor twist. As you’d expect with a twist such as this, we got some good confrontations between loved ones in a “Sumo at Sea” challenge. Chief amongst these was the rivalry between Aras and Vytas coming to a nice head. And the dynamic was best on display when, having fought to a relative stalemate, Aras offered Vytas the chance to back off, get up, and start over. Vytas, having more of a dark side, used this as a cheap shot against Aras, though Aras still came back to win and the pair had a talk about their brotherly dynamic throughout their life. It’s scenes like these that really make the “Blood vs. Water” twist work: they add to the dynamics of the game, but don’t distract from them, and don’t delve into melodrama.

Things get further twisted in Episode 5, when galling actually consents to LOSE a challenge, meaning the returnees are now confronted with actually having to vote someone off. In a twist, original target Laura Boneham is turned down by Aras in favor of Laura Morett, as the latter had been trying to play him very blatantly, whereas Laura Boneham was an unobtrusive worker bee. A good shakeup overall, particularly since it led to Laura Morett’s underdog story I love so much.

Speaking of shake-ups, next episode gives us our tribe swap. It’s done in a very “Blah” way, but it does make things very uneven on the tribes. The only athletic younger male on the new Galang was Vytas, while the only real drag on the new Tadhana was Ciera. Not that Tadhana was a slouch in the strategy department by any stretch, though. Tyson used this as his opportunity to seize control away from Aras, convincing Hayden, Caleb, and Ciera to join forces with him to oust Aras. A good, adequately foreshadowed move that changed the course of the game, and kept it all interesting.

But, of course, due to losing a lot, the real story of intrigue is at the new Galang. We have essential the birth and death of an alliance over the course of two episodes. The women pretty much all band together to take out Vytas, only to have Vytas play a laid-back game and pull out the sympathy card, due to his addict past. Combine that with some of the women not being able to keep their mouths shut, and you’ve got Vytas surviving not one but TWO votes, as first Kat and then Laura Boneham get evicted. An engaging and unpredictable storyline if ever there was one, and definitely a worthy addition to the season.

Coming to the merge, we get some intrigue over which side Monica will fit in on (along with the start of Monica’s challenge beasting), ultimately leading to the dominance of Tyson’s alliance, adding Laura Morett to the ranks, since she’d come back from Redemption Island, and had a connection with Ciera as well as a grudge against Tyson. By and large, this is the end of the twists, since Tyson pretty well runs the table for the season, and yet there’s still a fair amount of intrigue. After a couple of predictable vote-offs, we get Laura Morett’s second elimination, which not only constitutes a shift in the alliance, but also Ciera’s aforementioned voting out of her mom. And oh, the melodrama. Many people hate this twist for being overblown, but I think it really works. There’s definitely an emotional component to it, but it’s still strategy at it’s core, and the intriguing debate of whether someone should vote off a loved one or not to better themselves in the game is a nice addition. Yeah. it’s not as big of a deal as the show made it out to be, but that doesn’t mean it has no merit.

With the second eviction of Laura Morett, we get one of the more interesting things to ever come out of Redemption Island: collusion. At this point, Laura was on Redemption Island with Tina and Vytas. Now, Vytas is tough competition, but so is Laura, and since puzzle challenges favored her, she won first place. Having solve the puzzle, though, she decided to influence things further, by advocating for Tina to win. She did this by basically telling Tina the solution to the puzzle, allowing her to edge out Vytas for the win. If I can say one good thing came out of Redemption Island, it’s definitely this. Collusion to this degree hadn’t really been seen before, and it added an intriguing dynamic to the game besides. Granted, it would be Laura’s undoing, since Tina ultimately beat her in the last duel, but that’s neither here nor there. For what it is, it’s still fun.

Around this time, we get two minor twists: Monica giving up a reward to give it to everyone else, and Ciera calling Katie’s idol bluff. The former is standard, and really has no impact, save to make us like Monica a bit more, but the latter really helped keep these later episodes interesting, showing that intrigue that could happen, even in a situation with one solid dominant alliance. It also did a good job of showcasing Ciera’s smarts, so kudos there.

Our next actual threat comes from within, as Hayden and Caleb start to realize “Hey, why are we letting TYSON control our fates?” Banding together with Katie, the three try to get a “Loved ones” alliance going, attempting to draw in Ciera as a swing vote against Tyson, Gervase, and Monica. Ciera, however, believes her chances are better with the latter group, and helps in voting out Caleb. This is the main mark against Ciera’s strategic cred, since she passed up an opportunity that could very easily have lead to her victory. And yeah, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t disappointing to see, but it did lead to the next fun moment of the season: the rock draw. Thankfully, Ciera did come to her senses, just one episode too late. Because of this, she forced a tie between Monica and Hayden, forcing herself, Tyson, and Katie to draw rocks (Gervase having individual immunity this time around). It all comes to naught, as Katie goes home, but while elimination by rock is always a dissatisfying exit, losing Katie was that that big of a loss game-wise, and it was a major moment to see a rock-draw after 23 seasons. Plus, it led to a really sweet moment where Tina offered to throw the duel for Katie in the next episode.

Ultimately Tina comes back and while she is eliminated, it’s not right away. In one last twist, the old alliance turns on Ciera, believing her to be too big of a jury threat, and she’s evicted. Pretty cool, but I wish the rest of the season wasn’t then a slog towards an obvious Tyson victory.

Innovation is always a scary thing to have in a show, since it can backfire horribly, but here, in addition to some really good player strategy, nearly every twist hit home. It added new dynamics that made the show feel fresh again, and breathed new life into the fanbase. It wasn’t perfect, of course. The presence of Redemption Island and the flatness of a few of the ideas drop this section a couple points, but overall, this was a good season for twists.

Score: 8 out of 10.

OVERALL

In terms of aesthetics, gong back to the Philippines could have been disastrous. While they did use a different AREA of the Philippines, you wouldn’t be able to tell that for certain unless you read up pre-season. Still, while I wouldn’t say the season stands out in terms of aesthetics, neither does it blend in, striking a balance between distinctiveness and anonymity. I won’t be winning any awards in this area, but I would say that it does its job adequately.

Of course, the real theme of the season is right there in the title. Blood vs. Water. How far will you go in the game of “Survivor” to win? The cost of a loved one? The answer, obviously, is yes, one will do that, but more often than not, the dynamics and scenes resulting from this came off very well, and not in a melodramatic fashion. As I said earlier, the twist helped give this season a fresh feeling and added some stuff we legitimately hadn’t seen before, and that really elevates this season in my eyes. It was a big risk. After all, it could have descended into highly personal bickering and revenge plots, which can be hard to watch in large quantities. Thankfully, we avoided this, showing that not only could such twists and themes be handled with class but that it could even enhance the game we have come to know and love.

With all that said, though, this category turns out to be the worst for me. True, this season has good elements, and you’ll never hear me say this was a BAD season by any stretch, but I don’t think it deserves as much love as others give it. Partly that’s because I’m not a fan of the Redemption Island twist, and have a hard time forgiving this season for it, but that alone cannot account for what I consider to be just a slightly-above-average season. Looking at each element individually, they work. When they come together, though, I think they tend to blend in. I said that this season could be described as a “Jack of all trades, master of none.” While it does all the elements well, it doesn’t really have that one element that stands out above the rest, and this is something I think might be necessary for a good season. In essence, this season might have done too well at everything. By making it all good, there was no contrast to shine above the rest, and that, in a sense, drags it down.

Again, please don’t misunderstand me. This season is great in almost every element. But when I think about it, there aren’t moments from this season that stand out within the context of the whole of “Survivor” history here, and what few moments there are are overshadowed by similar moments in other seasons. Still, this season always comes fairly high in my rankings, and with regards to my “Jack of all trades…” comment, I think the season can actually be BEST summed up by the full quote of that saying: “Jack of all trades, master of none, but better than master of one.”

Score: 30 out of 40.

ABSTRACT

If you find yourself getting into a “Survivor” rut, wherein you feel that you’re getting similar plot points each season, then “Survivor Blood vs. Water” is the season to watch. It shakes up a lot of “Survivor” conventions in a good way, and gives you brand new dynamics to get invested in. It comes with the warning that it does have returning players, which can makes things confusing, so this might not be a good early season to watch. If, however, you’re a seasoned veteran looking for something different in a good way, then this season gets a very high recommendation from me.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Blood vs. Water” Episode 11: Painful, yet Delicious

Remember all those nice things I said about Ciera last episode?   How she was an underappreciated strategist who knew just when to cut her loved ones loose?  Yeah, I take that all back.  She did a pretty good job last episode, but she really just WRECKED her position this episode.  I mean, she came out on top, so I guess it’s all right, all things considered, but still, this was a MAJOR strategic gaffe for Ciera.

Let’s take things from the top, however.  We start off at Kasama, where, true to form, everyone is trying to comfort the loved one of the boot, in this case, Ciera.  For once, though, the loved one doesn’t need consoling, as Ciera admits that she is oddly ok with the whole situation.  Don’t let her outward appearance fool you, though.  Ciera cares deeply about her mom.  She loves her very much, and is torn up about voting her out.  You can tell by how she stares blankly at the camera, while monotonously insisting that she really does care about her mom.  Deeply.  Truly.  Sincerely.

The rest of the cast takes this vote with varying degrees of apprehension.  Hayden seems pretty appalled that, as he puts it “Water won out over Blood”.  Really, guy, the title was dumb enough on its own, we don’t need you reminding us that it’s lame.  Tyson, on the other hand, is somewhat proud of her, knowing that it was a tough decision.  At the same time, however, he’s apprehensive, since this means that Ciera is playing hard, and consequently might be a threat to him.

But of course, we can’t get to our lack of an intro without a Redemption Island scene.  As Tina and Vytas confer, while Tina holds a teddy bear (nice touch), they agree that it’s more than likely that Katie is the one who got the boot.  Things seem to be confirmed when the bootee calls out “Mom!” to get their attention.  It turns out to be an actually funny joke, however, as it was Laura who got voted out.  This funny scene only lasts a short while, unfortunately, as we then get into Laura’s “I’m so Proud” speech again.  While I enjoyed it last episode, it’s gotten old REALLY fast, and I wish it would go away very quickly.  As such, we’ll skip over the rest of Redemption Island and head right to the challenge.

Once again, we get a combination challenge.  Duelists must push four blocks through a net (the concept of which comes from “Survivor Thailand”), and then use those blocks, which are colored on all sides, to create a tower 4 blocks high which has no duplicate colors on any sides (“Survivor Samoa”).  Like the last few duels, I really can’t find it in my heart to hate this challenge.  Yes, it’s reused, but it’s a combination of reused that we’ve never seen before.  While it’s lacking a bit in the physical challenge department,  it’s a pretty tough puzzle, particularly when one is dehydrated, starving, and presumably low on sleep.  I’ll give this season one thing: while I will never love or accept Redemption Island as a concept, I’m hating it less and less as the season goes on.

Probst tries to get Laura to cry and rant at her daughter on national tv, but once he sees that Laura’s gearing up for her “I’m so Proud” speech again, he quickly and rightly decides to drop the subject, and head straight to the challenge instead.  This one seems to me like more of a dead heat than the last one, but that might not be the case.  Tina falls quickly behind, even being lapped by both Vytas and Laura.  All three end up at the puzzle at the same time, though, and the race is on.  Laura finishes first, but this is not all that surprising.  Not only is Laura a challenge beast, but she’s also done this puzzle before.  At first she seems determined not to have another Kat situation on her hands, and spins her puzzle around so no one can look at it.  Later, though, she starts whispering the solution to Tina.  Given how loud her “whispering” is, I’m amazed Vytas can’t hear it, so I’m chalking it up to the microphones they put on people before challenges.  I have to admit, this surprised me.  It’s a bit of strategy I’ve never thought of before, but it’s clever: help the weaker person on Redemption Island, so you have an easier match to get back in the game.  Laura’s flaw, in my opinion, is choosing to help Tina.  I admit, on paper you’d want to get rid of Vytas as quickly as possible, but I think this is a fallacy.  While she’s no Vytas, Tina is pretty tough when it comes to challenges, and if you underestimate her, she’ll almost DEFINITELY come back to bite you.  On top of that, thus far challenges to get back in the game have been all about endurance, and the lighter, determined people are generally the biggest threats, not the guys with muscles.  Still, can’t fault the strategy in and of itself, only the target.

You also can’t fault its effectiveness, as Tina edges out Vytas by a manner of seconds, sending Vytas to the jury to hang with brother Aras.  This saddens me, as of the three, I least wanted Vytas to go.  He had some funny moments, was a likeable guy, and a more than decent strategist.  I look forward to seeing him in another “All-Stars” season.  Probst once again tries to get Vytas to give a big speech about his and Aras’ relationship, but Vytas rebukes him, and Probst lets the matter drop so Vytas can leave with dignity.

But then there’s that matter of the idol clue to deal with.  Laura, not too surprisingly, gives it to Ciera, who throws it in the fire.  Man, I love the look on Probst’s face when he sees it happening again, you know it’s killing him.  Still, to Ciera’s credit, this is the one smart move she makes all episode.  After last night, she needs hold true to the “Loyal to Tyson’s Alliance” ideal, and that means not taking a clue to make it look like you’re sneaking behind their backs.  Plus, it helps keep up her “I’ve already found the idol.” lie with Katie.  Good for you Ciera.  Enjoy the praise, it won’t last long.

Back at camp, we at long last get to the “good” part of the episode.  The quotation marks are because “good” refers to the entertainment value of said segment, not the quality of some of the strategy.  Tyson is, quite naturally, worried about his position in the game.  He wants Katie off badly, partly because she’s a jury threat, and partly because he wants to maintain control.  And for once, his fears are founded, as Hayden and Caleb have chosen this moment to break free of the shackles of Tyson.  Shock of all shocks, they’ve figured out that he’s a tough fight in the finals, and that therefore it might be wiser to take him out well before the end.  They seem to be talking two or three votes in advance, but when Caleb goes to let Katie in on the plan, he acts as though it’s the upcoming vote.  Um, might want to get your stories straight there, gents.  Well, it’s still a really good plan.  It pretty much guarantees either Hayden or Caleb a victory (as they’re both likeable and can claim to have been strategic), and gives Katie a solid alliance.  All they need is a fourth, and Ciera seems to be that fourth.

Once again the swing vote, Ciera is brought into the fold of Hayden and Caleb, who offer her final four to go with them.  Ciera agrees to their faces, but then admits to the cameras that she’s not buying it.  She thinks that they don’t know how to play the game, and that the experienced players are a safer bet.  Here’s where Ciera’s stupidity really shines through.  For one thing, she clearly hasn’t seen other seasons with returning players battling newcomers.  If you’re a newcomer, NEVER trust a returnee to the end.  Experience goes a long way in this game, and however good you think you are, they’ll run circles around you.  For another matter, her chances are better with Hayden and Caleb than with Tyson and Gervase (assuming that Gervase isn’t going anywhere, as long as Tyson has a say).  One could make the argument that Tyson and Gervase have annoyed more people, but I’d counter that Ciera has a better argument for being the brains behind everything with Hayden and Caleb.  Unless this is an EXCEPTIONALLY bitter jury, that’s likely to be her argument, and it works better with Hayden and Caleb.  Further, if they’re less skilled in the game, you want them in the end as they’re easier to beat.  I admit that it’s probably a tougher call than I’m making it out to be, but for my money, she should have gone with Hayden and Caleb.  Kept playing both sides, to be sure, but ultimately sided with Hayden and Caleb.  And to those complaining about my praising of her throwing away the clue earlier, when I said the benefit was showing loyalty to the Tyson alliance, and now saying she should go against it, I liked the move when the Tyson alliance was sticking together.  If they’re splitting, it changes things.

Generic scenes of Tyson and Gervase being paranoid follow before we get something completely different: HAYDEN being paranoid!  All the difference in the world.  Give the man props, though, he notices that Ciera and Tyson have become quite chummy, going off to tree mail in a very blatant display of power.  I would say he was being excessively paranoid, that one trip to tree mail means nothing, but in this case he’s actually right, so I have to chalk it up to smarts on his part.  Still, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Hayden had witnessed a few other chummy moments beforehand.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ENOUGH WITH THE REDONE CHALLENGES ALREADY!  Today’s challenge is from “Survivor Philippines”, in which tribe members have to hold a twisting bar with rope wrapped around it still as long as possible.  At the other end is a bucket of sand with a given percentage of their body weight.  Last person with a bucket in the air wins immunity.  This is probably one of the fairer challenges “Survivor” has ever done, due to having no perceptible gender bias (the men tend to have greater upper body strength, but the women tend to be lighter), but it just looks stupid and doesn’t hold my attention.  For another thing, IT’S NOT ORIGINAL!

Hey, Probst is announcing a twist!  Listen to that dramatic music, it must be something new and Earth-shattering to make up for this piss-poor challenge!  Nope, it’s the old “Eat-or-Compete” twist, now with annoying hashtag to match!  I do like this twist, and how it reveals the pecking order, but it’s often painful (and delicious) to watch, and it’s just been done to death, change it up already.

Sure enough, the pecking order is revealed as Tyson, Gervase, and Ciera all choose to sit out and eat.  If walking off to tree mail wasn’t an obvious indicator that Ciera was with Tyson and Gervase, this most certainly was.  This fuels Hayden’s desire to win, and he makes a good show of it.  He even puts up with Probst’s attempts to destroy the games of Tyson, Gervase, and Ciera by making them out to be similar to spectators at a gladiator match.  I’d say the metaphor would be more apt for Redemption Island, but that would insult Probst’s brainchild, and there’s no way he’d stand for that.  Not the most egregious example, as Probst has done similar commentary on those who eat in the past, but this somehow seems more mean-spirited, and serves as another instance of Probst influencing the game too much.

Despite Hayden’s best efforts, Monica takes home immunity.  Ok, I knew she was better in challenges than she looked, but I never realized she was this much of a BEAST!  Man, we need to start considering her a real physical threat.  Could do without the constant “I’m doing it for my kids” speech, though.

So we head back to camp and back in time, as Hayden is still going on about his paranoia over Ciera.  What I like, though, is that this time it’s more justified, and that he actually DOES SOMETHING ABOUT IT!  Take note, cast of “Survivor One World”.

Hayden’s solution is that, if he can’t get a majority with Ciera, but has Caleb and Katie loyal to him, he might as well make sure that, if not Tyson, it’s not himself, Caleb or Katie.  To this end, he and Caleb agree to go to Tyson, and make out that Ciera was lying, playing both sides, and therefore ought to be voted off.  Not a bad plan, but in my opinion, not an idea one.  True, should it work, they will tie for majority, but it’s be better to have majority outright, and to that end, I thought they should have approached Monica.  It’s unlikely to work, to be sure, but if they get her paranoid about Tyson (potentially bringing up her challenge wins as a reason she might be a target), and promise her final 3 (no one else has done that yet), she might go with it.  Not what I’d have done, but can’t fault the logic of their plan.

I find their performance for Tyson unconvincing, but Tyson does become suspicious, and Hayden seems to think that Tyson’s still on their side.  Caleb is unconvinced, perhaps because they’re targeting him over Hayden for no discernible reason, but we see that Tyson is talking things over with Gervase right before they head off to Tribal, which I have to say, is one of the better ones of the season.  Not a lot to say about it, but there were a lot of good social politicking moments, particularly Gervase’s appeal to Hayden fooling Hayden into thinking all was well.

But then, right before the votes are read, we see that Ciera is not the ONLY one who can make boneheaded moves.  Tyson, after comedically searching for it (I thought perhaps he was joking at first), plays his idol, in what was a completely pointless move.  It’s easy to say that, admittedly, as we all knew Tyson was not in actual danger this vote, and he had reason to be paranoid, but I’d argue he went to far.  Pretty much nothing Ciera said indicated that she would go against Tyson, and Hayden and Caleb would have had to put on quite an act to pull the wool over Tyson’s eyes that well.  Further, the downside to hiding the idol from everyone else is that it makes everyone paranoid about you once you reveal it.  I applaud Tyson’s cautions, but in this scenario, the risks outweigh the benefits.

Caleb goes home, in what I think was the smartest move for Tyson, Gervase, Ciera, and Monica.  While getting rid of Ciera might have kept the peace, Caleb’s a bigger threat overall (at least physically), is at least as likeable as Ciera, and gives them a solid majority, rather than a 3-3 tie with Hayden, Caleb, and Katie had they voted out Ciera.  As to Caleb’s leaving, I’m not sorry.  He wasn’t painful, unlikeable, or dumb, but his flashes of brilliance were scattered and infrequent, and compared to everyone else (save Katie) he’s just not that interesting.  I like the guy, but I won’t miss him.

As to this episode, despite the strategy not coming to much of anything, I liked it.  For all that I was prepared for letdown on the “Tyson May Go Home” plot, it still kept me guessing, and balanced out dumb strategy with intriguing strategy, and while it was the most edge-of-your-seat exciting episode ever, it was still a good watch.  Can’t wait for the next one!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.