“Survivor” Top 5 and Bottom 5: Occupations

Well, I promised y’all some more pre-season content, and I’m swiftly running out of time to do so!  The writing bug has bit, so let’s scratch the itch, and keep up my self-imposed obligations at the same time.  This of you who are long-time readers can probably guess what’s coming, but for those who only hopped on as of the last couple seasons, allow me to explain:

Back when I started the blog, sometimes recapping the episode just wasn’t enough.  I had more that I wanted to talk about, hence the creation of this feature: TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!  Yes, the all-caps are mandatory when it’s not in the title.  Basically, at the end of a given blog, I would take some topic relevant to the episode, and list off my personal Top 5 and Bottom 5 things in that category.  Usually something relevant to the episode, or to the discussion currently going on in the “Survivor” community at the time.  There wasn’t a set schedule for this, as I personally couldn’t predict when something I felt like talking about would come up, but I tried to do it at least once a season.  If you’re wondering why you don’t remember the one for “Survivor 41”… Well, that’s because I didn’t do one.  

Top 5 and Bottom 5 had become less and less frequent as the seasons progressed, for a variety of reasons.  Partly this was just due to running low on topics I hadn’t yet covered (and after doing this blog for 10 years now, I think I’m entitled to that issue), but that was not the only factor.  The fact was that the more I blogged, the more tiring it became to write such long posts immediately after an episode, and adding in such a list added a good 1/2 hour onto the time.  Time when I could be sleeping.  Add onto that my often feeling like I rushed to get the list together to get to sleep sooner, and thereby not doing a job I was satisfied with, and you see that this particular feature was giving me issues.  Thus, I quietly seemed to shelve the idea, but I felt bad about it  It’s as much a staple of the blog as some random contestant bursting into my house to correct me on something, and thus I was loathe to give it up entirely.  As such, I sat around waiting for inspiration.  

And inspiration came, both in the form of a new topic I wanted to cover, and a new idea for how to do it.  After all, there’s no rule saying I can ONLY do blogs after episodes during the on-season.  And if what I need is time, why not give it to myself?  

So, we arrive at the solution, which you see here.  TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5 will both continue to be a part of this blog, and no longer be a regular blog.  I’ll still do them when inspiration strikes, but rather than tack them onto the end of an already overly-long blog, I’ll do them as stand-alone features between episodes.  That way, I can take my time, and not feel like I’m missing out on sleep!  Everyone wins!

Now, since I’m sure some of you are not familiar with the format I use, let me briefly explained: I will list, in ascending order my favorite and least favorite for a given topic.  In this case, we’re talking about the various occupations “Survivor” contestants have had.  For reference, I’m talking exclusively about US “Survivor”, not because international seasons are bad, but just because I haven’t watched them, and so can’t really comment on the occupations listed in the chyrons there.  I’ll also include one “Honorable Mention” for each category, for something that I don’t think fits on the list proper, but I still want to talk about.  

Well, this introduction has gone on for a page.  Let us waste no more time, and get to the listing!

TOP 5

5. Former Federal Agent?: Right off the bat, we see that distinctiveness alone can earn an occupation a spot on this list.  Generally, the more specific, the better.  Here, the specificity of the former, coupled with the simultaneously specific and generic title of “Federal Agent” certainly make the occupation stick in the mind.  And, if that didn’t work, Phillip Sheppard would bring it up in every confessional that wasn’t about Great-Grandpa Jessum.  So, it sticks out for sure, but what makes it fun?  Well, friends, the answer is in the editing.  If you are blessedly free of the experience of watching “Survivor Redemption Island”, then the thing to know here is that the titular Phillip was portrayed as, well, not all there.  Talking about his tattoos giving him power, communing with the aforementioned Great-Grandpa Jessum, and flaunting his hot pink undies at multiple opportunities, Phillip was, fairly or unfairly, not portrayed in the best light.  This, in turn, made us question everything about the man, including what could be considered a relatively above-board occupation.  The editors, playing off this speculation, decided to have some fun, and added a question mark to the occupation, the first time they had fun with the chyrons (though by no means the last).  That is the legendary part that lands this occupation on the “Top 5” list, though I’ll admit it is barred from being higher due to it being a joke put in by the editing team, rather than just the occupation itself.  

4. Exotic Animal Veterinarian: Once again, specificity matters.  “Veterinarian” is a fairly generic, if harmless, job.  “Exotic Animal Veterinarian” is much more evocative in the mind, especially since your average “Survivor” local is crawling with said “Exotic Animals”.  Yes, Omar’s occupation from the upcoming “Survivor 42” inspired this list, and I’m happy to have him on here.  That said, I do have to gripe that most of the official sources just list his occupation as “Veterinarian”, which, as I said, much less interesting.  I have heard him called “Exotic Animal Veterinarian” in podcasts and non-CBS sources, so I’m willing to still say it qualifies, but I hope his chyron is the full, specific title when the season actually airs.  Such a title must not be confined to word of mouth alone!

3. Coconut Vendor: Wait, this is a job?  Really?  I mean, I guess it makes sense.  One can understand what a “Vendor” is, and if one sells exclusively coconuts, one could be considered a “Coconut Vendor”.  Still, the title alone makes you take a second glance, and that’s a lot of what this list is about.  Apart from just being an odd turn of phrase, the like of which is unlikely to be seen again on this show, it makes you wonder just what Vince’s business model is.  Like, is there really that much of a market for coconuts?  When you look into the details, it’s a bit more mundane.  Vince basically gathers coconuts that he sells as a cool, refreshing drink on beaches.  Sort of like those ice cream vendors, but with coconuts.  I can see how it works, but it still turns my head, as I said.  Coupled with the coupling of Vince and “nuts”, two ideas that, as the season demonstrated, stick together, and you’ve got an occupation that’s not only amusing, but appropriate to the subject as well.  

2. Magician’s Assistant: Yes, you will still be force-fed my love for “Survivor Guatemala”, even in the on-season!  While not as unusual an occupation as some we’ve seen on this list, in that the layman has probably actually HEARD of this occupation, it’s still one you don’t see every day, and so again, will likely turn a few heads.  And while the occupation itself is not one that really applies to the game of “Survivor”, think of the metaphors one could use in relation to this one!  Pulling off a blindside compared to pulling a rabbit out of a hat!  Being caught between two alliances is like being sawed in half!  Pretty much any reference to a magic wand being used in conjunction with the game!  And we get NONE of them, because Morgan was gone too early to do much of anything.  It’s this wasted potential that keeps this occupation from the top spot overall, but for how this occupation stands out from the many generic occupations we see on this show, it more than earns a high spot on this list.  

1. Mechanical Bull Operator: While we do not have the potential for metaphors here that we’ve had with some of the previous occupations, when I think “Odd Occupations” this is the one that comes to me.  Once again, it’s an occupation the like of which we’ve not seen before, and will likely not see again.  Visually, it stands alone for being SO long that they actually had to size down the font to get it to fit visually in the chyron.  But then, for me, there’s just the oddity of the occupation itself.  I mean, this is a job?  Granted, you have to assume that SOMEONE has to operate a mechanical bull where a mechanical bull is present, but the job title implies that this is the ONLY duty entrusted to John Kenny.  As one usually comes across mechanical bulls in bars, one would assume that it’s bar staff operating them, but as kind of a side thing, with their overall job title being “Bartender”.  I just envision John talking with someone about his career kind of like this: “What do you do?”  “I operate the mechanical bull.”  “Oh, you mean you bartend?”  “No, just the bull.  Nothing else.”  Like, is that what’s he’s referred to in his contract?  Does he just sit at the controls from opening to closing, giving patrons what they perceive as a chance at glory?  It just raises so many questions, and I have an inordinate amount of fun speculating about them.  How could such a job NOT top this list?

Honorable Mention: Russell Hantz’s Nephew: While this technically counts, as it was used in the chyron where the occupation goes, but I can’t put it on the list proper due to said technicality.  While I would consider “Related to Russell Hantz” as stressful as a full-time job, it technically doesn’t pay anything, mostly because Russell can’t afford it without that million-dollar check.  Brandon did, of course, have a regular job, but in the ultimate tip of the hand from the editors, they made it clear that Brandon was not who you were supposed to care about.  Rather, you were supposed to care about who he was related to, and who the show wanted to invoke to milk more cash out of the franchise.  I should be upset at this blatant motivation, but honestly, it’s just so brazen, it circles back around to being funny, and that counts for something at least.  

BOTTOM 5

5. Housing Case Manager: One difference you’ll notice from the “Top 5” list is that I don’t mention a lot of occupations specific to one individual in the “Bottom 5” list.  Instead, I’ll be going over broad categories of jobs, since to me, the worst jobs are the generic ones, the ones you can’t tie to any person in particular.  This is the exception, which is a real shame, because it comes from “Survivor Vanuatu”, I would argue the best season for fun occupations alone!  Aside from the aforementioned “Mechanical Bull Operator”, Vanuatu also gave us “Sheep Farmer”, “Drill Sergeant”, “Equity Research Assistant”, “Coffee Barista”, “Pre-Law Student”, and TWO variations on “Highway Repair Person”!  Perhaps that’s what makes this one so frustrating.  Don’t get me wrong, Rory’s job definitely stands out, but the wording, to me, is just unclear, as someone who has held the more general title of “Case Manager” in his career.  Is he a general case manager who specializes in housing matters?  Does he work for an organization that specializes in housing?  Is his case management related to home repair, or to the living situation of the people in the home?  My point is that, while I understand in general what Rory probably does, the specifics of it confuse me, and raise too many questions.  John Kenny’s raised a lot of questions as well, but I at least had a general idea of what he did.  With Rory, apart from being  related to social work, I just don’t get it.  It’s still better than being generic, so I would never DREAM of putting it higher on the list than this, but for how much it frustrates me, I had to include it here.  

4. Student: An occupation becoming all the more common, especially if the reports I’m hearing about the show lowering its minimum age to 16 are true.  We have now left the realm of individuality, and find ourselves in the doldrums of forgettableness.  I haven’t done the math personally, but I think it’s a safe bet that THIS is the most common occupation we get on “Survivor”.  So many people in some form of higher eduction end up playing, and this makes for a good catch-all term for them, that I feel like it gets slapped on a lot of players, both good and bad.  There’s nothing WRONG with being a student, but without a prefix like “Pre-Law” attached, it tells us little about that person, and next to nothing about their play style.  Students have gone early; they’ve made it to the end.  But we remember their personality, not their job.  Overall a good thing, but for this particular list, not so much.  

3. Model/Actor: These two are often paired together under the portmanteau “Mactor”, and as my reasoning for disliking both is the same, I decided to pair them together here as well.  While either does tell us a bit more about the person’s ambitions than the more generic “student”, there’s still a wide range under both those job titles, and a similarly wide range of success and failure.  There’s just very little to go on, other than this person is likely hungry for exposure.  And that’s really what sets these occupations above “Student”, the seeming quick grab for fame.  While this motivation is not UNIQUE to these occupations, a lot of the time, people holding these job titles come across as coming, not for adventure or the game, but to get exposure.  This is a generalization, of course, and there are always exceptions, but it feels hollow, especially during the time when I was a fan applying to the show, and felt every spot NOT taken up by a fan was unfairly snatched from me.  I’ve mellowed since then, but there’s still that knee-jerk reaction.  It didn’t help that we saw a rise in such an occupation around the time the show went HEAVY on the recruits, which while not bad in and of itself, got overused and led to several lackluster casts.  Thus, the career and the type of cast became intertwined, and the occupation still has yet to shake off such the whole stigma.  So, for all this vitriol, why is this only number 3?  Join me at number 2.  

2. Lawyer: Say what you will about students and mactors, at least they don’t try to shoehorn in how their occupation has prepared them for “Survivor” all the damn time.  The same cannot be said for our top 2 occupations on this list.  If I have to hear ONE MORE LAWYER talk about how they’re prepared to manage a jury, or manipulate, or argue their case, I will go and take the bar exam myself just to show them up.  Look, some occupations prepare you more for “Survivor” than others, but I think most would agree that the courtroom and the wilderness are two very different areas.  Even the “Arguing in front of a jury” part doesn’t match one for one, partly because you don’t need to convince everyone of your side, partly because there’s less facts and evidence, and more people’s perceptions.  That said, if they keep their occupational relations to a minimum, lawyers can be some of the more fun characters to watch.  My love of Kass McQuillen of “Survivor Cagayan” is evidence of that.  But for those that I love, it’s in SPITE of their occupation, and more so their forced links to it, not because of it.  

1. Professional Poker Player: As one would imagine, this occupation shares a lot of the same issues as the lawyer.  Once again, we have an occupation that LOVES to talk about how well it has prepared the person for “Survivor”, and how great they are at reading people.  The trouble is, no, no it really doesn’t.  Apart from their being a big difference in getting people’s tells when you’re close to them in a climate controlled room, and detecting a spoken lie in the wilderness, poker, at its core, involves a large amount of luck.  Now, “Survivor” has always had an element of luck in it, and if current trends continue, it will certainly match the luck present in poker by “Survivor 45”, but the two just aren’t comparable at the time of this writing.  You’ll note that, for all my disparaging of the lawyers, I DID note that some had had success in the game, and I could even concede one or two ways in which their career might carry over to “Survivor” particularly in the area of needing to persuade people.  But really, the big thing that sets this occupation apart is that, to my knowledge, every single person who has had this listed as their occupation is SO ANNOYING!  Not only is arrogance a common trait among them, but pretty much every single person with this as their occupation is either terrible at the game (see Adelstein, Garrett), “unpleasant” (to put it mildly) as a person (see Bellande, Jean-Robert), or both (see Khait, Anna).  Every single time they talk about how well-prepared they are, and every single time, they’re wrong.  There’s almost no variety in this archetype, and it just needs to end.  Please.  

Honorable Mention: One Immunity Idol: Continuing the trend from the previous list, our honorable mention goes to something that is not TECHNICALLY an occupation, but goes in the same place as one.  And once again, it’s the editors tipping their hand to what really matters to them, though this time, rather than being funny, it’s just sad.  “Survivor” is meant to be a social game, where the people playing it matter the most.  All aspects of them, including their occupation, are at least somewhat relevant information to impart to the audience.  When that gets dumped in favor of “Who has what advantage?”, you’re both showing that you have too many advantages in the show, and getting away from the core of what made your show great in the first place.  It may be a symptom of a larger problem, but that problem is great enough that it lands at least an honorable mention on this list.  

My, this goes on longer when I have the time.  Let me know what you all think of my choices, and I’ll see you back here in just under two weeks for the premiere of “Survivor 42”!

-Matt

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Kaoh Rong

Having gone through a controversial opinion on a season with our last blog, let’s now talk about a season that was, in and of itself, controversial. Yes, the time has come for us to discuss “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, a season that I’m confident in saying has been the most divisive amongst the fanbase since “Survivor Samoa”, at least in terms of outcome. But did it have to be that way? And does that controversy come from a good place, or a bad one? Hopefully, by dissecting this season, we can uncover the answer.

A quick word of warning before we begin: This season will be providing an objective summary of, and subjective critique of, the entire season of Kaoh Rong. This means there will be SPOILERS, as we’ll be talking about the season from the standpoint of someone who has seen the whole thing. If you are not one such person, you do not want to read the entirety of this blog. If you still wish to hear my subjective opinion on this season, without worrying about spoilers, simply scroll to the bottom of this page. There is a section labeled “Abstract”, where I give just such an opinion. For those of you who do want the details, read on.

CAST

This cast gave us Aubry Bracco. Aubry Bracco is the most perfect contestant the show has ever had.

Score: 10 out of 10

Ok, ok, let’s actually talk about the cast now. In all seriousness, Aubry is easily the biggest name to come out of the cast of this entire season. It’s actually fairly easy to detail why, as Aubry’s whole story was laid out in a microcosm during the first episode. As such, we’ll summarize Aubry’s episode 1 story arc, and use that to explain her overall story arc. Initially, Aubry was not doing so well. Heat was a big problem this season, and it hit Aubry hard in the first two days. She got severely dehydrated, and even talked about quitting. She was talked out of it by her fellow contestants (Debbie in particular), but was still on thin ice going into the immunity challenge. Said challenge involved a lot of individual phases, including diving down to retrieve paddles, pulling a heavy boat up on shore, and of course, solving a puzzle. All physically and mentally demanding tasks, yet Aubry did them all for her tribe. Sure, she had help on the puzzle and pulling the boat, but it’s still no easy feat. Plus, as Probst pointed out, Aubry retrieved all the paddles for her tribe, when the other tribes had to switch out at some point. This, on a season wherein one tribe was explicitly labeled “Brawn”. The nerdy kid schools everyone, shows hidden depths, and overcomes great adversity. This shows us Aubry in episode 1, and shows us her throughout the season. While not quite to the degree of Spencer (“Survivor Cagayan”), Aubry was plagued by bad luck, often not of her own making, yet somehow managed to not only hang on, but become a dominant strategic force as the season progressed. Through it all, she was a charming and likable narrator, with a lot of good metaphors for the game (I’m particularly fond of the “Oregon Trail” one). Admittedly, Aubry did occasionally shoot herself in the foot (note that a large part of what she had to prove in the end during that first challenge was because of her own collapse), and had some good luck as well. However, the former is rarer than people give her credit for, and the latter could be said of just about every winner. Not that Aubry wins. Oh, we’ll be getting to that, I assure you. But the perception definitely comes across, and Aubry both benefits and suffers for it in future seasons. For now, though, Aubry is the narrator and driving force of the season, coming in an unexpected package, and making her my personal favorite player of all time. Definitely a benefit to the season.

Not to say that Aubry was or is the most universally beloved of the cast. No, that honor could only go to one Tai Trang. A diminutive Vietnamese man, Tai was going to be a bit of an odd duck from the beginning. Placed on the “Beauty” tribe despite not being conventionally attractive, Tai further stood out by being a staunch vegetarian and general friend of the environment. He looked for an idol early on, but dug up entire saplings so as not to damage them in the process. When the tribe won chickens, Tai made sure they were able to roam relatively free, and even saved one (Mark) from overall execution. Further, Tai developed a close bond with Caleb Reynolds. Caleb would fall into the category of “Memorable at the time, but now forgotten”, but since he’s so closely tied in to Tai, we’ll talk about him here. Caleb was already well-known coming into the season, having previously been a player on “Big Brother”. Caleb was also well known for being fairly socially conservative, particularly when it came to homosexuality. This could easily have put him in conflict with Tai, who’s gay. However, echoing the Richard/Rudy dynamic of “Survivor Borneo”, the pair seemed to move past that obstacle, and formed a tight bond during their mutual time on the island. True, they didn’t have the same cutthroatness that Richard and Rudy had, but they made up for it with more heart than the former pair. True, Rudy did come to accept Richard, sexuality and all, but Caleb was even willing to let Tai playfully kiss him, the sort of open embrace I’m not sure Rudy would ever have been capable of. That helped Caleb and Tai stand out, and made everyone like them all the more. We’ll have to save the thoughts on Caleb (and why he’s now largely forgotten) for the “Twist” section as a lot of it relates to the manner of his exit. Getting back to Tai, though, the fact is we’d really never seen anyone quite like Tai, and he was nothing if not unapologetically himself. Many of his stances, particularly regarding the chickens, should have got him voted out. We’d seen it in previous seasons (see Kappenberg, Kimmi). Yet, thanks in part to avoiding early Tribal Councils, Tai survived, and came to be accepted, quirks and all. Always an uplifting story, and one that made Tai, for my part, a rightly beloved part of the season.

If you were to ask about the biggest character of the season, and another unapologetic personality, one could only look to Debbie Wanner. How to describe Debbie? I’m not sure there’s a way, since even the show couldn’t. Debbie had a running gag, having listed off her many careers in the first episode, of having her career change in every chyron for every interview she gave. They even had it change MID-INTERVIEW once, when she mentioned a career that she had previously forgotten. Debbie was also a cheerleader, though, and so could often be heard yelling such gems as “We have the biggest frontal lobes!” in the background of scenes, even if she wasn’t the focus. Debbie was there, and much like Tai, always herself. If someone makes it deep, this is endearing. Debbie did make it deep, and so she is endearing.

But for all this talk, we’ve yet to actually talk about our winner of the season. Michele Fitzgerald falls into the odd category of “Memorable for Not Being Memorable”, kind of similar to Purple Kelly from “Survivor Nicaragua”. Michele had her moments, to be sure. A few key challenge victories, and some snarky comments helped keep her in the public eye. Yet, it’s the fact that she won, up against steep competition, that people remember her for. In my opinion, despite this relative lack of screentime, Michele is still a good addition to the season. She’s not the main draw, but what she does bring is good, and you see enough of her game to make her a solid winner in her own right. Of course, she doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but we’ll talk about THAT controversy in the “Overall” section. For now, Michele may not be the biggest character to come out of the season, but she’s certainly a sound player.

Rounding out our players who are still memorable to this day would be Cydney Gillon. Our only “Brawn” representative in this category, Cydney actually started out a bit low-key. Despite promising confrontation and drama (she mentioned having “split personalities” in her cast bio), she got herself into the majority alliance on her tribe and just kind of sat there. We saw her make a few sub alliances, and play both sides of the fence, so we knew she was a player, but she didn’t really come into her own until after the merge. Cydney was once again in a solid majority there, but due to some miscommunication and suspicion, Cydney flipped on her alliance to become what was shown as a power couple with the aforementioned Aubry, effectively running the game from that point on. What works best about Cydney for me is that she defies expectations. You hear “brawn” as a designation, and you think of them as being the “dumb jocks”, the effective opposite of a “brain”. And yes, Cydney definitely has physical skills, but what really made her stand out was her social and strategic prowess. She may not have made the smartest move in flipping the game when she did, but damn if she didn’t do a good job of keeping control once she had it. A fascinating arc, meaning all the memorable characters from this season are still memorable for a good reason.

Moving on to the players who were remembered at the time, but now seem to be lost to “Survivor” history as a whole, this is where the bulk of the “Brawn” tribe ends up. Chief amongst these would be our villains for the season, Scot Pollard and Kyle Jason, who went by his last name. Scot and Jason were the aforementioned dominant alliance on the “Brawn” tribe, and, to put it mildly, were not the nicest people around. Bossy, arrogant, and hypocritical, the pair effectively used their might as a reason to keep them around, and felt they could behave however they wanted. Post-merge, this led to a lot of camp sabotage once it was clear they were no longer in the majority, but pre-merge, this led to the bullying of one Alecia Holden. Alecia was a bit of an oddity on the “Brawn” tribe, having no obvious physical strength, and making few contributions to anything survival-wise or challenge-wise. Despite this, she continued to stand up for herself, and even survived a few votes (admittedly mostly due to other members of her tribe self-destructing, but survived nonetheless). I have to admire her for refusing to kowtow even in the face of scathing attacks, even if she wasn’t my favorite, and brought little to the table besides. Our first boot is really not memorable as first boots go, so rounding out our “Brawn” tribe is Jennifer Lanzetti, a Ming-Na Wen lookalike who did little in the game, but did have to have a bug floated out of her ear, and stood up during her exit Tribal Council to protest the way the vote seemed to be headed. Not the biggest character, but deserves some respect for being willing to shake things up. That said, I can’t fault most of these players for being forgotten. They made for some interesting pre-merge drama, but even Scot and Jason, the only two to make it deep, were, well, villains, and so not the most pleasant. I will say it’s a bit of a shame that Jason has fallen by the wayside, since he does seem to be open to criticism and change in post-game interviews, and could make for a decently interesting returnee.

In contrast to the “Brawn” tribe, there’s really only one person each from the “Brains” and the “Beauty” that’s been forgotten post-season. From the “Brains”, we get our pre-merge “Villain” of Peter Baggenstos. I say “villain” because while Peter was portrayed negatively, he didn’t really do much that was evil. Apart from conspiring to betray Aubry, this Barack Obama look-alike had sort of a mini-Spencer arc from “Survivor Cagayan” in and of that everything he tried to do blew up in his face. He had no traction, and was unceremoniously voted out pre-merge. He helped keep that part of the game interesting, but as he had no impact beyond that, I can’t fault his being forgotten. More upsetting is the vanishing of Julia Sokolowski of the “Beauty” tribe. Julia was a teenager playing “Survivor”, at this point a rarity but no unheard of. What separated Julia from previous teenage players, however, was her skill at the game. She successfully lied about her age, was considered a “threat” by the other big threats, and even managed to sneak in an immunity win at a crucial time. Maybe not as huge in the character department, but for such a youngster, that’s some serious skill! It’s a real crime that she hasn’t been invited back at this point.

This begs the question, though: Why were these people forgotten? Well, apart from there being such stiff competition (I really can’t overemphasize how big Aubry, Michele, Tai, Cydney, and Debbie are), the big problem will actually come up in the “Overall” section. As I’ve hinted at, there’s a controversy about this season we’ll talk about there, and that controversy kind of colored people’s perception of the season as a whole. Suffice to say, it was a negative effect, and people don’t like negativity (shocking, I know). Given that, it’s frankly astonishing we’ve had as many returnees as we’ve had, and speaks to the strength of the cast as a whole. True, we got a few duds, but we also got a good helping of being characters and strategists, most of whom made it fairly deep. Maybe not the best cast the show has ever had, but an above-average one to be sure.

Score: 8 out of 10.

CHALLENGES

Kaoh Rong continued the trend of newbie seasons not really caring about getting creative or innovative with the challenges at all. Not to say that the challenges were boring or uninteresting. Indeed, one thing I will credit this season with is making the individual challenges as big and epic as the tribal challenges. There was really no weak link, but few challenges from this season went on to become staples in later seasons, but the challenges are not this season’s main selling point. They hold their own, but do little more than that. I will make this score slightly higher than this summary might seem, for reasons that will become clear shortly in the “twist” section.

Score: 7 out of 10.

TWISTS

As I’ve hinted at before, the theme this time around was a rehash of “Survivor Cagayan”. This was “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty 2”, and on paper, this seems like a very poor choice. However good Kaoh Rong ended up being, it was going to be compared to “Survivor Cagayan”, which was and is widely considered one of the best seasons ever, and of the “modern” era in particular. It’s sort of the same pitfall “Survivor Caramoan” had by being “Fans vs. Favorites 2”: However good you are, you most likely will be looked down upon for not being as good as the first. It’s true that Kaoh Rong does not live up to the standards of “Survivor Cagayan”, but oddly this choice doesn’t have as much of an impact as one might think. The theme is brought up less than it was on “Survivor Cagayan”, allowing the cast of Kaoh Rong to stand more on their own merits, and it is interesting to see the same twist play out differently with different casts. For instance, the “Brains” were the disaster tribe on “Survivor Cagayan”, while for Kaoh Rong, the disaster tribe were the “Brawn”. Also, if you HAVE to divide three tribes by some theme, “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” feels more natural a divide than any other one the show has tried, so I can’t fault them too much.

Our announced pre-season gimmick this time around was the essential return of the “Super idol”, which could be played after the votes were read. Unlike previous ones, however, it wasn’t just one idol to be found. Instead, individual hidden immunity idols could be locked together to form a super idol, thus necessitating cooperative play. I do like the increased emphasis on social play as facilitated by this twist, but that’s really about it. Super idols, as the name would imply, are just too overpowered, and while they ultimately didn’t factor in too much to this season, it’s more an absence of bad than the presence of good with this twist. Plus, if someone had managed to get their hands on two hidden immunity idols, they would have had basically a free super idol with no social play needed, a possibility too horrible to consider.

The other pre-season gimmick, though far less prevalent and less hyped, was the presence of choices at challenges. I’m not just talking about choosing between types of reward, though there was a certain amount of that in the season as well. Starting with the first immunity challenge, and used a few times throughout, people could choose how they wanted to do the challenge. For example, after a certain race, one could choose to either solve a puzzle or complete a balance portion. This was a brilliant move with the only flaw being that it wasn’t utilized more throughout the season. When it did show up, it led to greater strategizing regarding the challenges, and fun dilemmas you could debate with fellow fans. The downside? None I can think of.

Episode one actually played out in a pretty straightforward manner, after our usual “Grab supplies off the boat” opener, with our first blindside coming in episode two. The Brawn tribe had an initial majority of four, being Cydney, Jennifer, Jason, and Scot. However, when Jennifer got caught trying to form a women’s alliance against Jason and Scot, the tables were turned on her, despite Jennifer not ultimately going through with the plan. This also was our first hint at the beauty of Cydney’s game, since she used the opportunity to get close to Alecia, and then get Jason and Scot to grab the idol from Alecia, despite Alecia having found the clue first. The Brains tribe followed a similar blindside pattern in Episode three. The majority had originally been the pairs of Peter and Liz, plus Aubry and Neal, joining up against Debbie and Joe, the latter of whom is really only notable for being the second-oldest person to ever play, behind Rudy Boesch of “Survivor Borneo”. This plan got derailed when Peter and Liz planned to split the vote to blindside Aubry. Debbie, however, got wind of the plan, informed Aubry and Neal, and used that information to flip the vote against Liz, explaining why she didn’t get mentioned earlier. While none of these blindsides are earth-shattering, they did set the stage for the majority alliance never being quite safe this season, which is always good in terms of mystery and unpredictability. Maybe not spectacular, but still a solid start to the season, setting up for good things to come.

Episode four is infamous, but not for any blindsides. Rather than market the challenge choices pre-season, one thing the show DID hype up was a record number of medical evacuations, the first of which occurred in this episode. Players competed in a challenge that involved digging in the sand. The trouble was, they had the hottest weather yet, and the challenge took longer than expected, leading to three players (one from each tribe) getting heat stroke. Debbie got it for the Brains, and Cydney for the Brawn, but it was Caleb, so determined to get his tribe even a second-place finish, who pushed himself too far and needed to be evacuated, the first beauty loss. Frankly, a painful thing to watch, and not helped by the lackluster back-half of the episode. Alecia was predictably booted, and while I respect her refusal to hold Tribal Council immediately after the challenge, as suggested by Jason, it did lead to a forgettable exit. This is also pretty much the only reason Caleb was remembered, as he brought little else to the season. He was determined, and wanted his second chance. He got it, and so now there’s no real further need for him in “Survivor”.

The usual tribe swap comes in episode 5, though with an odd number of people, we have someone getting left out. That someone was Julia, who got sent to live at the Brawn camp, renamed “Exile Island”, to rejoin the losing tribe later. While unplanned, this did make the shake-up more memorable than most of the recent tribe swaps, and gave us a good chance to see the inner strength of Julia, which was always a plus. Chan Loh (the former Brains tribe), had a 2-2-2 split of all original tribes, while Gondol (the former Beauty tribe) had 3-2-1 in Brains, Beauty, and Brawn. The former never went to Tribal Council, so the only thing of note there was that this was where Michele and Cydney low-key aligned themselves, and where Michele’s most snarky confessionals come from, as her fellow “Beauty” Nick was more than a little condescending to her. The latter was a little more complicated, however. As one would expect, Aubry, Peter, and Joe of the Brains agreed to work with Scot of the Brawn to get rid of a Beauty, in this case the heretofore unmentioned Anna Khait. However, Scot bonded with Tai, the other Beauty on the tribe, and once he found out that Tai had the Beauty idol, informed him of Jason’s idol, forming a Power Trio despite being on opposite tribes. When Julia returned to Gondol in episode six, this led to Scot wanting to turn the tables on the Brains. This was done through manipulation on Julia and Tai’s part, whispering to Aubry about Peter’s planned insurrection for the blindside of Liz a few episodes back. As Aubry had never trusted Peter since then, and Joe was able to get out of Peter that he had made these plans, Aubry went along with the plan, but did so in a way that just plain wasn’t smart. She made her decision AT Tribal Council. Normally not a major misstep, the issue here is that Aubry initially voted for Julia, then crossed out her name and wrote Peter, such that Julia knew she had voted against her. Unsurprisingly, this would sully their relationship for the rest of the game, and put Aubry in hot water in the immediate future. For all that it’s painful to watch as an Aubry fan, it must be said that this is one of the more memorable moments of the season, and again, prevents us from having a solid majority that just steamrolls the entire game through.

Then, the merge, and to pile on the “Royally Screwed”, we get our second evacuation of the season. Neal has a bad enough infection to need to be sent away, taking with him the Brains’ idol, and thus giving the former Brawn and Beauty complete control. While this is probably the least emotional of the medical evacuations, it’s probably the one that hurts the most, because it makes the entire merge feel pointless. We’re setting up dynamics already established by previous episodes, ending with no actual vote out, but the elimination of the player with the most ability to shake things up. This should set up for a predictable post-merge. Thankfully, this is Kaoh Rong, where the majority never stays the majority for very long. In the next episode, Cydney gets paranoid about a men’s alliance, and so counters with an alliance of the remaining women+Joe, leading to a blindside of Nick. I can’t overstate how awesome this move is. While it feels semi-foreshadowed, as we had seen Cydney make side deals before, it still shakes things up in an unexpected way, and the cocky and arrogant are usurped by the smart and likable, which is always nice to see (take note “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”). A brilliant move that breathes new life into the post-merge.

Say it with me now: This is Kaoh Rong, so the majority doesn’t last. With Scot, Tai, and Jason on the outs, they start sabotaging the camp, confident in the protection of their super idol. Julia starts playing both sides, with Aubry being the main one to take notice. Unfortunately with Julia immune in the next episode, and wanting to flush the idols, a new target is needed. Debbie is the decided victim, due to being a bit too dictatorial in her conversations with the alliance. Again, a good shakeup, though not as good a move, as it give a threesome with inordinate power for their size even more power. Plus, there’s a super idol to flush. Granted, the alliance can’t possibly know about that (Scot and Jason had shown off the idols at Tribal Council, but did not mention the Super Idol twist), but still, objectively a bad move in that regard.

Our next reward challenge brings a twist, and I’m not just talking about the reward choice again. The extra-vote advantage is back from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, won in this case by Tai. Not a bad twist to bring back, but unneeded in this environment. What IS needed is another power dynamic shakeup. With seven people left, and no idols flushed, plus the Super Idol, Scot, Jason, Julia, and Tai seem set to control the rest of the game. Aubry, however, has other plans. Noting that Scot and Jason in particular come across as bullies, Aubry talks to Tai and gets him to side with herself, Cydney, Michele, and Joe. Thus, when Scot gets the majority of votes, Tai refuses to join up and make the Super Idol, leading to Scot’s elimination with the idol in his pocket. If you’re wondering why Cydney’s women’s alliance wasn’t the greatest move of the season, it’s only because this flip was. Not only were the twists of the season beaten, they were beaten purely though social manipulation, the core of what “Survivor” is about. Plus, it’s always nice to see the villains and bullies get so thoroughly beaten in such an ironic way.

The next two votes actually remain fairly predictable, in a rarity for the season. Michele does agree to vote out Julia, despite being allied with her, and Tai wastes his extra vote against Michele, but really not much happens until the final five. This comes in the form of our third medical evacuation, and probably the most pathetic yet. Joe, going on a reward, ate too much red meat, got his colon blocked, and needed to be evacuated. Rough to see, and yet another obstacle going into the finals.

Good manipulation of Cydney by Aubry puts Michele on the chopping block. When Michele wins immunity, and gets Cydney back on her side, Aubry uses her connection with Tai to get it to fire making, which she wins. An exciting start to the finale, and a good demonstration of why, despite being an excellent strategist, Cydney still had some flaws in her game. It was clear from their chatter that the jury HATED her, and wanted her to lose. In a shock to the audience, but not, for some reason, the players, we don’t have a final two, despite the numbers being right for one. I guess the show didn’t want to copy “Survivor Cagayan” too much. Instead, our final three challenge lets a player eliminate a juror of their choosing. They get immediately sequestered, and get no vote at Final Tribal Council. This twist gets a lot of hate, but on paper, I actually like it. It can be a good safety net, and requires some knowledge of both self and others to use properly. It’s never come back, probably because of its use this season, but I think it could actually have some potential. At the very least, it would cut down on the massive juries we’re having to deal with nowadays. That said, its use here does reek of both desperation and cruelty. It’s become obvious at this point that production wants Aubry to win, and it feels like they put in this twist just to ensure that she made finals. On top of that, Michele wins the advantage and uses it against Neal. A wise choice, given that Neal was a solid Aubry vote, and gave Michele a very vindictive speech upon leaving, but it felt cruel to Neal. I mean, the guy got to cast one vote the entire season, made the merge, and doesn’t even get to hang around that long? That feels wrong.

Not so much a “twist”, but it is worth noting that this season brought back closing speeches by our finalists, probably in an attempt to help them side with Aubry. It doesn’t work, as our real twist comes in the form of Michele winning 5-2. Why? Well, join me in the next section, as we’ll discuss it.

For now, though, let us summarize the overall twists of the season. Kaoh Rong is a rarity in the 30’s in and of that there’s very few twists from production, but a bunch implemented by the players. This, I think, is to the season’s advantage. It helps the season stand out, while still maintaining unpredictability, and feels very “real” to the audience, for want of a better term. Granted, pretty much every production twist at best had no impact, but with cast twists this good, less is more. Most every episode had something exciting in it, and good triumphed in the end, and so we get what is probably the strongest overall category of the season.

Score: 9 out of 10.

OVERALL

On the aesthetic side of things, the show really shot itself in the foot by leaning too heavily into the traditional architecture of Cambodia during the previous season. This one felt much more generic by comparison, and just looking at it, you couldn’t tell it from one of many other seasons. It’s easy to forget that it IS in Cambodia at times. I’ll give credit that we got nice popping colors (the buff designs are some of my all-time favorites), but the season just doesn’t seem to have a cohesive theme, and when it does try, it’s reused from another, better season.

But of course, we’re all here to talk about the big flaw in the season. Forgive me for repeating myself from the last blog, but Kaoh Rong is another season where the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts. Most every element in Kaoh Rong is at least ok, and the gameplay this season is some of the best we’ve ever had. There was a great story here, so why didn’t it equate to a great season? The answer, my friends, is in the edit.

As I said, there’s a great story to be told for this season, but it’s not the one the editors were interested in telling us. Rather than the story of Michele Fitzgerald, Social Queen, they wanted to emphasize Aubry Bracco, Robbed Goddess. As an Aubry fan, I’m not COMPLAINING, per se, about her being presented positively, but doing so when she doesn’t win sets the season up for failure. Look at it this way: Kaoh Rong had a very likable final four. Possibly the most likable final four the show has ever had. There was pretty much no outcome viewers would not find satisfying. Yet you managed to find one! I’m not sure that was possible! While it would be unfair to say Michele was INVISIBLE, Aubry was clearly the dominating force of the season. Again, not a dealbreaker on a good season, but you need to show why that dominating force lost. What was their fatal flaw that kept them from winning in the end? Weird though it is to say, the show needed to take a cue from “Survivor All-Stars”. On that season, we had another dominating force in Boston Rob who ended up losing. People can argue about whether or not Rob should have won, but even the most ardent Boston Rob fans can still see the flaws in his game that led to his loss. Even if you don’t agree with the outcome, you still understand why it happened.

This is not the case with Kaoh Rong. Aubry’s flaws, if shown at all, were very much downplayed, to the point where they weren’t talked about much beyond the episode they appeared in. Rather than a brilliant, but flawed, strategist, Aubry got presented as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Even her enemies were shown as liking her, with Scot and Jason complimenting her game at Tribal Council in what turned out to be Scot’s boot. From what we, the audience, saw, Aubry had most of the jury (save Julia and Debbie) wrapped around her finger, guaranteed to win pretty much no matter who she was up against. Michele? She played well, certainly, and was known to be liked, but the common consensus at the time was that Michele’s win was predicated on Aubry being voted out. Cydney and Tai had both had social gaffes, to the point where Michele was commonly seen as more likable than them, but Aubry? Again, apart from Julia and Debbie, we were never shown any dislike of Aubry by the jury, or even why the rest of the jury’s liking of Michele was greater than their liking of Aubry. Put simply, the editors tried to make their own story out of the season, instead of the actual story of the season, and it left us feeling wanting.

Case in point, what should have been a well-received season led to one of the biggest blowups in the fan community since the outcome of “Survivor Samoa”. If “Survivor” were still a cultural touchstone, there would have been rioting in the streets. The Aubry fans argued loudly for her win, leading Michele fans to fire back in anger. There was hatred and nastiness on both sides. It was a rough time to be a fan.

In the end, that is the tragedy and the failure of Kaoh Rong. It was never going to be perfect. No season is. But it could easily have been one of the greats. Instead, by trying to make the season that pleased themselves, production made a season that pleased no one else. The good elements do still shine through, but the damage is done by this point.

Score: 30 out of 40.

ABSTRACT

“Survivor Kaoh Rong” is definitely a necessary season if you’re planning to view future seasons. It has a lot of impact, both in returnees and twists, down the road. “Survivor Kaoh Rong” feels like a very back-to-basics season, with most of the best elements springing forth from the cast themselves, rather than production. That said, when production DOES stick its hand in the show, it always makes it worse, or at best has no impact. This season is definitely worth a watch, but be prepared to be disappointed by what could have been.

-Matt

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Island of the Idols” Episode 1: Charmin Ultra

Come on in, guys! Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to! Though, really, I can’t claim it’s only my opinion anymore. As you can probably tell from the title, this blog now has corporate sponsorship, so I’m beholden to the whims of my corporate overlords. Don’t worry, though, I’m taking it in stride. First off, I’m only taking sponsor who also sponsor “Survivor” to stay on brand. Second, I’m throwing myself whole-hog into this thing. I’ve converted the bathroom in my house into the “Casa de Charmin”, and, in keeping with the theme of this season, I’ve even invited back two previous players to advise on the blog. So, as I uncork this bottle of delicious pineapple sake, give a warm welcome to… What the?! WHO DRANK ALL MY SAKE WITHOUT ME? BOBDAWG! Oh, you are SO NOT a gentleman.

In all seriousness, you might be wondering why I titled my blog after a brand of toilet paper. Well, for those who don’t waste their brainspace on commercial slogans may remember that the “Charmin Ultra” brand of toilet paper used to have the tagline “Less is more”, which I think is a fitting title for this episode? How you may ask? Well, we start to see that right at the beginning of the episode, where we’re greeted, not by our usual vehicle extravaganza over epic Probst narration, but by Rob and Sandra walking up the beach, and giving us a narration instead. What spore of madness is this? Truth be told, though, I think this opening is a feather in Probst’s cap overall. Look, I will give the guy a lot of flak, especially for a lot of his decisions as executive producer on the show, but it must equally be said that he is the perfect host for the show, and no one can do what he does. Probst deserves every bit of praise and every bit of ego he develops for his hosting prowess. So, for him to put that aside and minimize his involvement in the opening? That, I think, speaks volumes about his overall character. I may not like how he refuses to let go of bad ideas, but give the man credit where it’s due: He is willing to take the spotlight off himself for a bit.

Having delved too deep into uncharted waters, the show makes up for it with shots of a helicopter and boats. Some traditions die hard, I guess. At least we don’t have to sit through another supply looting for the umpteenth time. Honestly, though, the only thing that I can complain about with this opening is how much it shows Probst’s favoritism for Boston Rob. When he talks about how Boston Rob and Sandra have won and lost, it shows Boston Rob’s one win out of four, and Sandra’s one loss out of three, despite Sandra having objectively a better track record than Rob. Cheap, Probst. Don’t do the queen like that.

Our new players are, of course, weirded out by the lack of Probst, but are still overall more excited about the game than anything. Karishma in particular talks about the need to contain her excitement when she hits the beach. Then, naturally, the very next shot is of her squeeing in delight and hugging everyone. I can’t give her too much flak since other people are doing it too, but a funny little moment, nonetheless.

In case anyone doubted Chelsea’s credentials as a superfan, she proves them wrong by voicing the complaints of fans everywhere: Too many twists. You see, Chelsea notices that this season is called “Island of the Idols”. Naturally, she comes to the conclusion that there will be idols everywhere, and talks about how “Survivor” is twist heavy as it is. Yep, there go her “fan favorite” numbers rising astronomically. Thankfully, Chelsea proves herself to be smarter than a lot of the superfine of late, and spends her time helping to build shelter and bond with her tribe, rather than look for an idol.

In fact, bonding is most of what’s going on with Lairo. Tom talking about his history in hockey. Karishma and Vince bonding over their status as people of color representing a new group on “Survivor” (Indian and Hmong, respectively). Hell, we even get a really touching scene where Missy talks about the horrors of having a severe brain tumor, and her struggle to overcome it. My God, I didn’t know this is what was missing, but apparently it is! We’re actually taking our time to bond with these players as individuals, rather than as strategists! Careful, CBS, or we just might get to caring about this cast!

Of course, this being “Survivor”, such love cannot last forever. Inevitably some people must be singled out, if only so that everyone else can avoid the stigma of being the “first boot”. Warning signs come up when Tom, Elaine, and Vince go off and have a chat about how bonded they are, agreeing to stick together and keep an ear out for each other. Not a bad deal for any of them (I always say that early on, a “keep an ear out” deal is best, as it builds a bond, but not so strong that there would be too many hurt feelings at a betrayal), but it seems that even if character is better this season, counting ability still eludes them. Tom, Elaine, and Vince only make three, and on a seven-person tribe, that’s not exactly good odds. Sure enough, the other seven notice, and agree to stick together. You can’t fault the seven for this, and they’re not even mean, like calling Elaine “weird” or anything like that. Those three just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now they’re on the outs. It’s sad, but that’s the way of “Survivor”. What will be fascinating is to see how these three can wiggle out of trouble, if at all.

Checking in with Vokai, our purple tribe, we see that they’re in a bit of a similar mind to Lairo, trying to work together initially, rather than look out for themselves. We sadly don’t see as much personal stuff from them, mostly just introductions led by Lauren, then down to the shelter building. Really, the only one to get any sort of character so far is Janet. Determined not to be the “mom” stereotype, she sets out to prover herself and her worth by making fire. Not one to do things by half-measures, she even plans to do it with the “rub sticks together” method, notoriously the hardest way to make fire on “Survivor”. And damn if she doesn’t succeed! Even leaving gender out of it, this is an impressive feat. Making fire using your glasses is one thing, but this method is hard to do even for experienced outdoors people. This proves both that Janet knows what she’s doing and is not here to mess around. That said, while it’s definitely an impressive feat, and earns her a lot of respect in my book, I’m not sure how good it does at proving her worth or avoiding the “Mom” stereotype Janet’s trying to play against. We hear Tommy refer to her as “Mom” in spite of this, and frankly, I’m not sure fire-making ability spares you much beyond the first three days. Don’t get me wrong, having fire is better than not having fire, but once you get the flint, it becomes a lot easier to do, and the ability to make fire from sticks obsolete (barring, of course, that you’re the Hunahpu tribe from “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, but Vokai seems more competent than that). Janet’s definitely sticking around past the first vote, but beyond that, I think she’s still got her work cut out for her.

Man, these tribes are just too nice! They gel with each other a little too well! If only we had a cliche reason to drive a wedge between the people of Vokai! Enter Jason. Man, it must just be the fate of everyone first named Jason on “Survivor” to be an idiot (no, Kyle Jason from “Survivor Kaoh Rong” doesn’t count. Jason is his last name). On a tribe where everyone is happy and getting along, dude just can’t resist going idol hunting. Sure enough, people take notice, and now, guess who’s on the chopping block? Yep, you can be a young, strong guy, but if you separate yourself from the group so blatantly so early, you can’t expect a long shelf life in the game.

Back on Lairo, we get to see that tripe dynamics are a bit more complicated than your basic 7-3 split. Missy is all about that girl power, particularly as women are on a bit of a streak of being first boots (technically the most recent male first boot would be Pat Cusack on “Survivor David vs. Goliath”, but he wasn’t “voted off”. Going by that definition, the last man to be first boot would be Darnell Hamilton on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, a good three years ago), and so bonds the women together. In particular, she lets Elaine know that her name’s been brought up, along with Vince and Tom. Elaine is concerned, particularly since she’s an older woman, a demographic that is historically an easy early target.

Elaine decides to turn her fortunes around the old-fashioned way: social charm. Elaine, it cannot be understated, is damn funny. I’m not even there, and I crack up whenever she’s on screen. Her tribe does so as well, and it’s not only good gameplay, but helps with that bonding I was talking about earlier that so many recent casts seem to have lacked.

Such bonding does not go unnoticed. Ronnie is the one to bring it up to the viewer, and since he’s a professional poker player, he naturally must tie this in to being a professional poker player. Ok, I think lawyers are probably the profession that least tie in to “Survivor” that claim to be good training for the show, but if I’m giving an award to most insufferable occupation on “Survivor”, I think the pro poker players have taken it. Jean Robert (“Survivor China”). Garrett Adelstein (“Survivor Cagayan”). Ok, Anna Khait (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”) wasn’t too bad on the show, but seeing her after the show has kind of soured me on her. And now Ronnie. Every single one of them, just insufferable, and won’t stop talking about how “prepared” they are for the game, when they actually suck worse than Chet Welch in that challenge where he was tied to Joel in “Survivor Micronesia” (again, with Anna being a possible exception, and even she’s kind of borderline). I’m legitimately curious, can someone find me an example of someone who’s occupation was “Professional poker player” on the show who wasn’t insufferable? Bear in mind, it has to be someone who had that LISTED as their occupation. Someone like Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”) who played professionally but never had it in their chyron doesn’t count.

Getting back to the actual gameplay, Ronnie notices that Elaine is making everyone feel nice, and getting in their good graces. Ronnie doesn’t want this. You see, Ronnie has figured that Elaine is tough to beat at the Final Tribal Council, and so wants to make sure she’s gone. All that I can follow and agree with. Ronnie’s issue is that he’s not NEARLY as subtle as he thinks he is. He offers to Elaine that he’ll keep her safe, merely so that she’ll be lulled into a false sense of security for a blindside. Elaine, of course, sees right through it, especially since Missy had mentioned it before. Now, Ronnie is her number one target, though even with the women’s alliance, I still have a tough time seeing how Elaine gets the numbers for this.

Moving back to Vokai, we get some insight into the individual strategies of our players. Jack, being the youngest, is playing up his fun-loving side, bonding with Molly in particular via the unorthodox method of using a giant clam as a squirt gun. Still, with a tribe overall as warm as this, the strategy seems to be working. Tommy has a similar plan, being everyone’s friend. Again, with a tribe as warm as this, it seems to be working. After all, everyone loves their 4th grade teacher, even me. So, it makes a good conversation opener, and connects quickly with all the other players. Naturally, our two most social players are drawn together, and Tommy and Jack quickly form an alliance. Of course, two out of ten is not enough for a majority, but thankfully for a teach, Tommy is not bad at math. He and Jack quickly gather together a majority of six, now including Dan, Molly, Lauren, and Janet, with talk of adding in Jamal as a seventh. Their target? Naturally, it’s the guy who’s been out hunting for idols instead of bonding with the rest of the group, Jason. Dan even comments that it seems like everyone wants Jason out.

This, in turn, is the cue for someone to make a dumb move, and rock the boat this early. Noura, it seems, can’t stand a smooth ride, and so warns Jason about his name being thrown around. Ever the brain trust, Jason is shocked that people could consider booting him this early. Dumb to be sure, but really, my ire here is for Noura. Look, I get what she’s trying to do: Save the potential early boot, and gain a loyal ally in the process. But here’s the thing: It’s too early. At this point in the game, the smallest difference, the tiniest quarrel is enough to get you booted. You’ve already got an obvious boot coming up. Don’t rock the boat if it isn’t your name out there. Now, some might argue that there’s a precent for this being a good move. After all, in the short term it worked out pretty well for Brian Corridan on “Survivor Guatemala” with Lydia. The difference here, though, is that that was a close-run thing between Lydia and Morgan. Neither one of them was a clear choice over the other, so Brian wasn’t putting himself in the minority by advocating one over the other. Instead, I think the better lesson here should be taken from “Survivor Gabon”, and the case of Ken Hoang. People tend to forget that Ken’s initial partner was not Crystal Cox, but rather Michelle Chase. They tend to forget about it because Michelle was the first boot, but yes, Ken was infatuated with her, and wanted to work with her. But, when he saw the way the wind was blowing, he was willing to cut her loose. My point here is that, in the early days of the game, you can recover from not getting your ideal outcome. Better to go with the flow, and save your social capital for later.

But now we’ve had two scenes of Vokai with only one target! Surely someone else is rubbing people the wrong way? For once, I mean that literally. Dan, as it turns out, is a bit of a touchy-feely guy. This is always a hard thing for men to pull off without seeming like a creep, and given Dan’s age, he just can’t do it. Kellee in particular is upset about this, pointing out that she just doesn’t like being touched, finding other people’s germs “gross”. Fair enough, and I can definitely understand the “using legs as pillow” thing to be weird, though I think the massage part might be a slight overreaction. Still, Kellee is entitled to her feelings on the matter, and entitled to express those feelings. She expresses them to Molly, who has similar feelings. The pair express them to Janet, and then express them to… Dan, where they have a mature conversation about their differences, and while they go away wary of each other, tensions seem to have cooled for now.

What, you thought just because there was tension that there’s going to be drama? Adults talking and acting like adults is a rare thing that I personally love to see. Are you not entertained?

Up until this point, this episode had been well above average. We’re connecting with the cast, getting some new situations for the show, and while I do miss Probst, his relative absence so far does make things memorable. Sadly, it’s at the immunity challenge where things begin to go downhill. Probst’s banter with the tribes before the challenge is nice, but the challenge itself is really lackluster for the first immunity challenge. True, the tribes do stick together for the majority of it, which I like, but really, it’s just a generic obstacle course with nothing original to make it memorable. I wouldn’t complain too much, since it’s a solid challenge overall, but this is the FIRST CHALLENGE OF THE SEASON! It should be memorable! Epic! A real “Welcome to the Game”. This challenge seems to say “Yeah, welcome to the show, I guess…”

But the real kicker here is the reveal of the immunity idol for the season. Hoo boy, the art department’s really working for their pay this season, aren’t they? “Hey boss, we gotta make an immunity idol, what should we do?” “Eh, just glue some Easter Island heads to a bunch of bamboo, no one will care!”

Really, though, all this could be forgiven if we had any sort of tension in the challenge, but the fact is we don’t. There is a bit of back and forth between the tribes, but the fact is that Lairo just seems far more likely to lose than Vokai, based on what we’ve seen of them. Both tribes have a token effort at presenting multiple targets, but given how the Kellee/Dan disagreement kind of dissolved, Jason really seems like the only viable option for Vokai. Lairo, by contrast, has viable narratives for either Elaine or Ronnie going home, and even Vince and Tom have something of a chance. Thus, it’s no surprise when they fall behind on the puzzle.

As a final negative note, I have to say that I found Probst’s narration particularly over-the-top this time. I’m normally a fan of it, but he just seemed to be trying WAY too hard to get us to believe there was tension here, and exaggerated the states of the tribes to a large degree. No, Probst, this loss was not a “blowout”. It wasn’t neck and neck, but this was nowhere near, say, Fang’s performance in the first challenge of “Survivor Gabon”.

Vokai goes home with immunity and flint, but Lairo does not get to leave empty handed. It seems that someone must go to the “Island of the Idols”. Fair enough, but it feels like the producers do everything possible to suck all the tension out of this. There’s not dealing with tribe dynamics as to voting who should go, there’s not even the possibility of someone missing the first Tribal Council and upending an alliance to keep us intrigued. Now, if we the audience had no idea what the “Island of the Idols” was, this alone would be enough to keep our interest. But the trouble is we do know. You told us what it was in the damn season preview. If you want us to be interested, you need something more.

Elizabeth is selected to go by random draw, and she’s not a bad first choice. She’s a big enough fan to get a good reaction, and gives us some good awe at seeing the place for the first time. Though, again, I think it goes on a bit too long. We get a solid 30 seconds of Elizabeth being in shock, when 10 at the most would have been sufficient.

But, of course, this brings us to Boston Rob and Sandra. According to all the previews, they’re the main draw of the season. And, for all my complaints, they’re pretty good here. True, they are taking time away from the new players, and I question how much they’ll take up of a regular length-episode, but the fact that we haven’t seen them until now is encouraging. I also like the detail of how they’re wearing the buffs from the season they won. Nice touch. They recite a pledge basically to make sure no one has a heart attack at the thought of playing against them, and we get down to business.

What with how early it is in the game, and how little Elizabeth wants to give away tribe dynamics, there’s not much to be taught but fire making. Cool, you mean someone else is going to learn the trick to the “rub two sticks together” method? No, no, he just means flint. Look, the “rub two sticks together” method, I get why people don’t practice. You don’t have the same materials as on the island, and it’s tricky to learn even under ideal circumstances. But you’re telling me people STILL go to the island not knowing how to make fire with flint? Apparently so, as Elizabeth gets a crash course from Rob, who makes it in about 2 seconds, and gets some practice with Sandra. Then, of course, we have to have our “challenge”. Rob tells Elizabeth that if she can beat him in a fire-making race, she’ll earn an idol good for two Tribal Councils. If she loses, however, she loses her vote for this Tribal Council. The show leaves a cliffhanger here, and so will I. I’ll discuss my thoughts on what Elizabeth should do, and how it plays out, when we come back to her.

For now, we check in with Lairo, and it’s really not looking good for Elaine. Ronnie is still on the warpath against her, with Aaron backing him up. Elaine is well-liked, but she’s not a major challenge asset, and given how early it is, people may not want to rock the boat for her. Elaine, being a bit direct, confronts the problem (Ronnie) head-on, talking about how she’ll vote for anyone, channeling Sandra (ironic given that she’s wearing a Red Sox hat), and how there’s no threat to her now. She claims that people can vote her out whenever. Not a bad argument. The flaw in that argument, however, is the precedent that is Sandra. We’ve SEEN that if you “put a pin in someone” they ride that pin to the end. That, Elaine, is why you are dangerous. Elaine puts to the women her idea of going against Ronnie, but the women are hesitant, again not wanting to rock the boat this early in the game.

Concluding Elizabeth’s story, she decides to go for the challenge against Boston Rob, citing her competitive spirit. Understandable, but clearly the wrong decision. You really want to get in a fire-making race against a guy who’s played the game four times, and pretty much made fire by glaring at a bundle of twigs? Naturally, this goes about as well as you’d expect, and Elizabeth loses horribly. She is rightly chastised for this, though I think Boston Rob and Sandra go too far. They’re right to point out that Elizabeth had basically no shot at winning this, and should have thought about it more, but I don’t think you can fault her for not holding out for a better deal that she couldn’t have known about, and you two did, you know, EGG HER ON, pointing out how little her vote matters out of ten, and encouraging her to take risks. Yeah, it was still a dumb move, but don’t go mocking someone for using drugs you yourself dealt them. Somewhat alleviating the “random draw” aspect is that Elizabeth picks a random name (which we don’t see) from Vokai to go to Island of the Idols next, and while I still hate it just being random, I do like that it prevents one tribe from steamrolling the other, and thereby monopolizing the island. Elizabeth leaves to make up for lost time, and for all my snark, I do like this use of Boston Rob and Sandra. They add a bit of color and some interesting dynamics in terms of earning idols. Sure would be a shame if the pair came back and ruined what should be a moment purely for this cast!

Back at camp, Elizabeth needs to get her lying chops on, something she admits she’s not too comfortable with, but does so anyway. She does a good job for what she does, though I think some of it was unnecessary. I wouldn’t mention the competition with Boston Rob, since that will only make people suspicious you have an advantage, and I DEFINITELY wouldn’t mention losing your vote, since that will only make people disinclined to talk strategy to you, but the lie about the three urns? That just seems unnecessary, and likely to backfire. Elizabeth will most likely end up on a tribe with someone else who went to the island at some point, who will then know that she lied. Not a good look for her. I don’t get why she didn’t just say that she went, saw Boston Rob and Sandra, and they chatted about the game. Telling the technical truth, and harder to be found out about. If someone who goes later asks about your challenge, say you weren’t offered one, because it was so early. Certainly don’t tell the whole truth, but I suspect Elizabeth’s lie will come back to bite her down the line.

That said, her contributions to the discussion, though good, don’t matter much, and we head off to Generic Tribal Council Design #5: Huts on Stilts! Yeah, the stay in Fiji is REALLY starting to show from a creative perspective. There’s just only so many facets to a culture you can center your season around that they become so generic as to be pointless. To give the art department their due, both the pen and the snuffer this season are pretty cool, but I still give the look of this season overall a “thumbs-down.”

As our new players begin lighting their torches, we the audience are shown that Boston Rob and Sandra are climbing up to their own private viewing box to watch the proceedings. There’s two reasons I don’t like this: One from a strategic perspective, and one from a viewing perspective. Strategy-wise, I don’t like that Boston Rob and Sandra have so much information about the going-on of the tribes. One of the things I found most intriguing about the premise of this season was the dilemma each new contestant who meets Rob and Sandra has. You can tell them in detail about your plans and alliances, thereby getting great advice, but also risk that information being spilled to future players who come to the island. Conversely, you could keep that information to yourself, but then the time on the island is largely a waste. It’s an intriguing dilemma that could bring out new facets to the game. By bringing in Rob and Sandra to Tribal Council, you take away that option, and just make them another gimmick. Which is what they are, by and large, but you don’t have to emphasize it. As for the audience perspective, while I’m fine with having Rob and Sandra on the season as a draw, the emphasis should be on the cast (especially since we seem to have a particularly good cast this time around), not on the returnees. Tribal Council in particular is a time to focus on the tribe. This is where our new contestants should really be able to shine. By bringing in Rob and Sandra, you steal away that focus, and thus make it harder to connect with the cast. If this cast had the strength of, say, the cast of “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, I’m not sure the season could survive.

Naturally, most of the talk centers around Elaine being on the outs. As you might expect, Elaine does not go quietly. She brings up her “pin” argument again, but also pulls at the heartstrings, bringing up how emotionless this all seems. The cast, as a whole, is moved. Even Ronnie and Aaron admit that it’s hard to vote someone out when they pull at your heartstrings like that. This, at the core, is what’s great about “Survivor”: The conflict between heart and head. Between logic and feeling. It is this conflict that has kept the show interesting for so long, and has kept psychologists and sociologists talking for decades. There are no easy answers. What do our veterans have to say about this?

Boston Rob: Sandra, would you have any trouble voting her off.

Sandra: Hell no.

Such paragons of virtue, our returnees.

As we head to the vote, I’m doubting that Elaine’s plea will help. There’s good arguments to be made for either Ronnie or Vince going home, but Elaine’s sheer amount of screentime, and how much we’ve gotten to know her, spell her doom. Makes for a predictable Tribal Council, but you know what, I don’t care! They brought back that awesome Tribal Council music track they for some reason only used on “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, and I am thrilled. True, they added new lyrics to it, but who cares? The music’s still awesome!

In case you’re wondering, show, THIS is how you do a vote that blindsides the audience but still feels satisfying. Yes, Elaine was the clear favorite to leave, but we understand clearly how and why things went for Ronnie. Well, maybe not the “how”, as there’s no clear alliance of 8 against Ronnie and Aaron, but my guess is that Ronnie and Aaron weren’t going to be swayed off of Elaine (despite ultimately voting for Vince), so the women decided the only way to save her was to go for Elaine’s preferred target with Tom and Vince, and then Dean went along because he didn’t want to be left out. There’s excitement, there’s mystery, but it doesn’t come out of left field like some OTHER recent blindside votes I could mention.

As you might suspect from my earlier rant, I’m not particularly sorry to see Ronnie go. He somewhat annoyed me, and Elaine really entertained me, so I’m cool with this outcome. Whether or not it was smart is tough to say. Ronnie was better in challenges, but social cohesion is important to. I guess the best that I can say is that this may not have been the IDEAL move for the tribe, but it’s not a bad move in and of itself. If nothing else, it re-emphasizes the lesson that social cohesion is the most important factor on “Survivor”.

All in all this was a great episode, but it actually did better when it gave us less. Less Probst in the opening. Less domination of the actual “Island of the Idols”. Less time devoted to strategy in exchange for connecting with the cast. All great decisions that elevate this premiere to “above average”. It was only when the show gave us too much of something, like Probst narration or Rob and Sandra, that things went downhill. Still, even that doesn’t take away from the fact that this is a great cast that has fascinating stories on both sides, and a great hook for future episodes. If they learn their lessons from this episode, I foresee great things for this season.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor MGX” Episode 2: Long-Lost Sibling

I’m normally not one to advocate for the “First Two Episodes Crammed in a Two-Hour Block” format for starting “Survivor”. With some exceptions, neither episode really feels like it has a chance to stand on its own, the impact of the first vote is lessened, and it rarely does either half justice. For once, though, I think “Survivor” did itself a disservice by not following this format. Nearly all my criticisms of the previous episode disappear in the events of this episode. Not seeing the inner workings of the Takali alliances? Not a problem anymore. Not getting much from the Vanua tribe in terms of strategy? Out the window! Having to hear annoying confessionals about what it means to be a “Millennial” or a “Gen-X’er”?… Well, two out of three still isn’t bad.

What made this episode better? For once it doesn’t start at the beginning, though we do get a bit more insight into the pecking order of Takali. We knew that David, Ken, and CeCe (plus the now-evicted Rachel) were on the outs, but apart from David and Rachel, we didn’t know why. Chris is kind enough to inform us that CeCe is a bit aloof, helping to alleviate some of the confusion, and Ken’s info will come later. For now, be content that it comes at all. The tribe has trouble making fire, so David, in “Generic Gen-X Confessional Number 25”, talks about his “stick-to-it-iveness” and eventually makes fire. This earns him jack-diddley-squat from his tribemates, so David is forced to take other measures, namely continuing to look for an idol. Say what you will about David, but the man is aware of his mistakes and works to correct them. Except with sticks. He’s still trying to break the damn sticks.

No, what I mean is that David is both aware that he’s still on the bottom, and that blatant idol hunting helped get him there. So, David switches to the smarter strategy of combining idol hunting with chores. He sets off to fetch rocks (flashbacks to “Shane’s Thinking Seat” from “Survivor Exile Island” spring to mind), and uses that time to check likely looking trees for idols. This time, however, the idol is not IN the trees, but OF the trees. During his search, we zoom in on what appears to be a coconut with a face painted on it (my tv is kind of small, so it might have been a tribe symbol). This does not, in fact, mean that Yau-Man Chan (“Survivor Fiji”) has re-entered the game, found an idol, and hidden a fake one, but that the idol is in said coconut. I actually really like this change. It’s a different hiding place from what we usually see, and it throws people off of their game by not being what they’re looking for. Plus, I like the idea of someone not noticing the symbol, bringing it back to camp, and then breaking open what they think is a meal only for it to be an idol instead.

The dodo music actually does a good job of convincing us that David is going to miss the idol literally in front of his nose, but the man ultimately finds it, and scampers off before Chris can show up to give him another lecture on manhood. David eventually cracks the coconut, and reads just enough of the rules of the idol to verify that it is legitimate. Watch this be a season where the idol rules have changed, and David gets screwed by not reading them. We get our usual triumphant music, gloating confessional from David, and head to our abbreviated introduction and commercial.

Actually, I will say that if the abbreviated introduction HAS to be a thing, I like how they did it here. Bleeding in the music at a triumphant moment is different, yet somehow appropriate.

We head over to the action at Vanua, and I do mean “Action” in this case. Yes, what started out as simple flirtation between Taylor and Figgy has now devolved into full-blown romance. And yes, it IS just as cliched and teeth-gratingly annoying as the OTHER “Survivor” romances. Figgy in particular loses points with me in this scene. She’d earlier claimed that she was playing the flirt card intentionally, which I could have a least a modicum of respect for, but her heart is sapping away all of her brain cells, and it doesn’t look good on her. To her credit, though, I have to agree that those baby blues on Taylor would be hard to resist.

Naturally, an obvious coupling like this leads to the standard “Couples never last/couples are a threat” confessionals from a number of people, and while they’re standard, I can’t deny that there’s truth in what they say, at least in regards to the second half of said confessionals. Couples are a threat. It’s a tight alliance that puts logic in the backseat, always a danger in a strategy game. Plus, there’s been a number of tight pairs that have run the game all the way. Cochran and Dawn on “Survivor Caramoan” come to mind, and if you want to get REALLY recent, you could even argue that Aubry and Tai on “Survivor Kaoh Rong” could qualify. And, if we’re only talking romantic couples, remember Boston Rob and Amber running “Survivor All-Stars” virtually unopposed. Hell, they even disprove the first half of that confessional, since they are still married to this day.

In a nice twist, though, some of the couples criticism comes from inside the alliance, with Jay noting the points listed above. At first, I’m tempted to be charitable with Jay and say that it’s all strategic thinking with him, but then his rant about couples devolves into some sort of story about men with boyfriends bailing on your bowling night, and it becomes clear that Jay has a few “issues” in this area. He tries to talk Taylor out of the coupling, but Taylor assures Jay that he’s “Got it covered.” most likely meaning that Taylor does not, in fact, have it covered.

Back at Takali, we now get the promised explanation for why Ken was left out of the alliance. It seems that the guy is a bit of a loner, which we probably should have expected from him given the whole “lived five years alone in the jungle” thing. Point being, he’s not that good socially, and while he doesn’t make a fool of himself like David, the pair do bond over their shared awkwardness, though in different ways. Thus, when David tries to use his idol to form an anti-Paul coalition, Ken is the first one he turns to. Ken is right on board with this, and I have to give credit, it’s a good use of idol. I’m normally one to advocate for the Kelley Wentworth (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”) style of idol play, but in David’s case, the guy needs all the help he can get. He’s clearly the next target, and unless you can find that idol every single time, you’re going to need to form an alliance. If an idol will help you do that, then by all means, spread the news. The pair agree to draw in CeCe and target Paul. The CeCe thing makes a lot of sense, but in terms of gunning for Paul, I feel like it’s a poor choice, at least from a “biggest threat” standpoint. This is sort of like Malcolm and the Three Amigo’s targeting Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”) with their “Three Idol Play” on “Survivor Caramoan”. Yes, he’s annoying, and OSTENSIBLY he’s the head of the alliance, but in actuality, there’s a power behind the throne. Paul, though nowhere NEAR as annoying as Phillip, is in this category. If we’re talking in terms of what move can REALISTICALLY be pulled off, though, it makes a lot more sense. David, Ken, and CeCe make a threesome, so you need to pull in two more people. Chris and Bret have been averse to strategy talk thus far, but subtly done, I think they could be swayed. Have Ken (who seems to be in their best graces, and his style of patter doesn’t obviously scream “strategizing”), put it in their heads that Paul’s grabbing a lot of power that he doesn’t deserve. Chris and Bret seem like the power behind the throne, so they’d probably take umbrage at that and swing to vote off Paul. Then, use the irritation that Sunday, Lucy, and Jessica feel at the betrayal to swing the game on Chris and Bret. BAM! Power.

Also, Ken catches an octopus and names it “Octopus Prime”. Let it never be said that Takali has no sense of humor.

For a little variety, we head back to Vanua, to find that Hannah, so often compared to our beloved Aubry, is really pulling more of a circa “Survivor South Pacific” Cochran here, as she struggles to open a coconut. Mari takes this time to give us one of the LEAST forced confessionals about being a Millennial thus far, pointing out how REAL the game is outside of a screen. Mind you, it’s still forced, but it’s better than what we’ve been getting, and makes a bit more sense. But enough of that, back to the romance stuff! Taylor and Zeke forcefully tie the romance into being a millennial (of course they do), and we head over to midnight make-out session. Now, unlike most of the “Survivor” fan community, I’m not a huge fan of Cirie (“Survivor Exile Island”). She’s grown on me more as time’s gone by, but even after the dying down of my Terry-fanboying allowed me to look at her more objectively, I still don’t like her condescending attitude, and sense of entitlement when she’s in power. This episode, however, I wish she was back on the show, if only so that we could have a confessional about the imminent arrival of “Figlets”. Instead, we have to settle for the comedic stylings of Michaela, who limits her snark to saying that their kissing is “gross”. Sorry, Will, but your record has been usurped. Clearly we’ve got ourselves a first-grader on “Survivor”. Somehow.

Actually, to be totally honest, I get where Michaela is coming from. After five days of not showering or brushing one’s teeth, people would be pretty gross. I just couldn’t resist the cheap shot.

Next morning. Michaela makes sure to spread the news of the make-out session the night before, just in case people couldn’t hear the loud vacuuming sounds from one end of the shelter. She stops just short of singing “Taylor and Figgy/sitting in a tree!/K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”, instead limiting her remarks to a cheap joke about not wanting to hit Michelle in the head with the machete. Again, jokes aside, I do get the spreading of the kissing thing. Couples, even non-romantic ones, are dangerous on “Survivor”, and the more people know about their existence, the less dangerous they are. Figgy gets really worked up over this for some reason, and I get the feeling that’s going to come back to bite her.

Heading over to Takali, to reassure us that the talk about Paul being annoying was more than just talk, we get a brief scene of Paul barking orders at his tribe. Again, we’re nowhere NEAR Phillip Sheppard levels yet, but the potential is there. Ken talks to CeCe, trying to get her on board the Anti-Paul train, which she agrees to with no comment. Not much to talk about, but given David’s persuasive skills thus far, probably good to let Ken do the talking. Now, however, it’s time for our advertised medical emergency. Sure enough, given the “heart attack” talk we heard earlier, it’s the most obviously overweight and old guy who ends up getting the blow. His tribe does everything they can for him, forcing the producers to call an audible and get Dr. Joe, the chopper, and even Probst in on the action. After a commercial break of concern, though, we find that Paul has just a bit of heat exhaustion, and will probably be fine with some water in him, kindly supplied by his tribe. Ok, they did a good job here of hiding the fact that Paul would be ok. The lack of advertising of a medevac pre-season, coupled with our seeing a challenge that hasn’t happened yet, should really have let on that he would be ok. But I, at least, was fooled. Good job.

I have to admit, there was ONE thing the first episode did better than this one: the challenge. We’ve got a combo-rehash for our challenge today. Basically, one at a time, five tribe members swim out to a platform, where they must jump off and grab a key. Once all five keys are obtained, tribe members can open a box containing a mask, which they can use to help dive down to untie five rings to toss. Once all the rings are obtained, one tribe member must toss them each on a separate pole, with the first one to get all their rings on wins immunity. This one is pretty much pure “Survivor Cook Islands”, though the ring toss comes courtesy of “Survivor Caramoan”. About the only positive it has is the current. It’s hard to judge the strength of a current in the ocean by watching it on tv, but for the most part, the currents seen on “Survivor” look pretty mild, at least in terms of shaking the platforms. This time, though, there’s no doubt that these are ROUGH ones. Usually the platforms in the water are akin to solid ground. This time they’re akin to ground in an earthquake.

This challenge doesn’t even have mystery about the outcome going for it. True, we do get some good back and forth, but let’s think for a minute: which tribe has had more strategy talk overall, and which has been more complex? The answer to both is obviously Takali, naturally meaning that they’ll be headed back to Tribal Council. Yep, there’s Jeff Probst handing off the idol to… Takali.

Ok, I’ll admit that they got me again (won’t be the last time that happens this episode), but unlike other times where I enjoy getting the wool pulled over my eyes, this one feels a bit like a betrayal. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a great surprise, and I like it overall. But with all that buildup at Takali, and comparatively little at Vanua, the victory feels like we were cheated out of what we were promised. Granted, what we see shortly at Vanua will help make up for that, but it’s frustrating to say the least.

Back at Vanua, we rehash the Figgy targeting, though it does give us a clearer idea of the alliance. We had the idea that Mari and Hannah were kind of leading the charge, and when we see that pair, Zeke, and Adam coming together to make the call, it’s clear who the power is with. We see them bring in Michaela and Will, presumably as numbers five and six, though they do a good job of not indicating that the pair are five and six, and all seems locked. Even Jay, who doesn’t want to vote out Figgy, since it would ruin his game, is despairing. Fortunately for him, his alliance has at least ONE competent person in its ranks, and that person is Michelle.

Yes, pretty much out of NOWHERE, Michelle is suddenly this powerhouse strategist. I’m ECSTATIC at this turn of events. This could have been another “Bro Down” situation, like I discussed last time, but some of the players in this minority alliance actually seem competent. Michelle (with help from Jay, admittedly, but it’s primarily her move), starts to get things moving and shaking. She correctly targets Will and Michaela as the swing votes, and tries to get them against Mari, correctly seeing her as the power in the alliance. Both, however, have their struggles. Will is uncertain that a move against Mari is a good idea at this point, and I have to agree with him. While Mari is DEFINITELY a threat overall, couples are a threat also. With someone like Mari, you can lull her into a false sense of security and get her out later. Plus, you can guarantee she’ll play logically. I cannot stress ENOUGH how, if you’re playing a strategic game, you want to keep in the most logical players possible. You can predict what a logical player will do, with at least reasonable accuracy. When strong emotions like love enter the fray, all bets are off. Again, definitely keep an eye on Mari, but she can be taken out later. Break up that couple while you have the number to do so. Michaela presents a different challenge. she’s more open to strategizing (so far, she seems to be following the Sandra Diaz-Twine doctrine of “As long as it isn’t me.”), but that spat between her and Figgy is causing problems. Jay comes in to mediate, and to help things along, fabricates a semi-plausible lie about Mari telling him that Michaela was next after getting rid of Figgy, due to being an “easy vote”. Michaela doesn’t bite right away, but does consider the possibility, which at this phase of the game is the correct reaction.

Tribal Council is much improved, with a lot more fun moments worth commenting on. Probst mentioned this in pre-game interviews, and for once it wasn’t exaggeration. There really WAS a marked difference between the attitudes of the two teams. Takali, while having superfans of its own, didn’t seem as interested in the strategic part of the game, and came in somber and serious. Vanua, meanwhile, is pretty much EXCLUSIVELY superfans, and has a fun, bright atmosphere. As we’ll see, that atmosphere hides a dark and twisted underbelly, but the atmosphere is there nonetheless. And you know what else this scene does? It highlights the generation gap WITHOUT BEING IN YOUR FACE ABOUT IT! Take note, future episodes. There’s evidence here that the twist can be done right, WITHOUT needing to shove it down our throats. If you want me to stop being so harsh on this twist, follow this pattern.

Our real story, though, comes at the other end of Tribal Council. The seating arrangement Gods have aligned, and Hannah is now at the far end, with Jay behind her and Michelle on her right. For the “Triforce Alliance” (as the Bros wish to be called), this could not be a better spot. Due to Michaela and Will being wishy-washy on their votes, you need to swing someone else. With this seating arrangement, you isolate another swing vote, and get your two strongest advocates whispering in her ear. For once, Probst doesn’t feel the need to narrate this conversation, distracted by Adam and Zeke’s fanboying. While I’m nicer about Probst needing to narrate things than other fans (it leads to some hilarity, and in a lot of cases I feel actually ADDS to the experience), it did make an interesting change of pace, and again highlighted the strategic thinking of Michelle and Jay. The pair’s argument? Not so much. They clue Hannah into the fact that they’re voting Mari, and that’s fair enough. The trouble, however, is that Hannah wants some REASONING behind why to vote for Mari. A fair question. So, what half-cocked lie can Michelle and Jay come up with to get Hannah to make a move that is blatantly against her own self-interest?

“We’ll tell you later.”

Not even some half-baked story to try and justify your lobbying. Spoiling what will happen in a few minutes, I’m AMAZED this worked.

Probst finally catches on that there’s a conversation going on without his input, and we talk about that for a bit before we head to the vote. Right beforehand, though, Mari makes a comment that, while seemingly fluff, I think is important to the result of this episode. I’ll explain the importance later, but the substance of what she says is that Hannah was “Probably talking about puppies or something.”

Even our voting provides some funny moments, with Hannah putting in an early bid for the “Eliza Orlins Agonized Vote Award”, hemming and hawing over what to do to such lengths that even Probst feels the need to look in on it. Also, while I still maintain that Hannah overall is more like Cochran 1.0 than like Aubry, given Aubry’s crossed-out vote debacle, I have to say that I see the similarities there. Still, I maintain that the Cochran comparison is the better one. While Aubry often projected being overwhelmed and somewhat confused, she wasn’t taken for a fool easily. I feel like that was more Cochran’s early schtick: being in over his head and not really knowing where to go. That is what I see from Hannah here.

In the end, though, despite what logic would say (but as the editing indicated), Mari is sent packing, and by a good margin. Only Zeke and Adam stayed true to her, meaning that of the original dominant six (Zeke, Adam, Will, Hannah, Mari, and Michaela), only Zeke and Adam voted in their own self-interest. Again, Mari is definitely a threat for down the road, but that threesome, and by extension the coupling, really needs to be broken up first.

Now, Mari ALMOST falls into the category of “unearned exit” as we really didn’t get anything to indicate her leaving, or any reason for it, until after the immunity challenge. However, what evidence we DID get, and what strategizing we saw, is enough to save this one. So, if Figgy was obviously the better move (something most swing votes ACKNOWLEDGED this episode), what got Mari? Partly is was the salesmanship of Michelle and Jay (on an argument that weak, salesmanship is about the ONLY thing that can pull it through), but I get the feeling that Mari wasn’t as nice as she was made out to be. She was built up a lot early on as exemplifying the “Millennial Ideal”, and was a good narrator, which is probably why we missed out on some of her harsher moments, but that last comment at Tribal Council struck a nerve with me. It came across as very condescending, and if Mari acted like that more than once, and Figgy was quiet apart from the snogging, I think people might have been disposed to go after Mari. Is what we got sufficient to justify her exit? Yes, but a little bit more justification would have been nice. Again, going back to the “Combine this and Episode 1” argument I made in the beginning, you could have cut out some of the fluff in the first episode and given us time to see why Mari might NOT be as well liked as was indicated.

But, c’est la vie. For what we got, it was interesting strategy that made for a great and unpredictable episode. I’m truly sorry to see Mari go, as she did bring a lot to the table, but I think I feel about this like other people felt about the exit of Anna Khait on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”: Yeah, she had potential, but for the strategy of her exit, and what she ACTUALLY brought, we’ll let it slide.

I will say again: this episode was GREAT! Not without its flaws, but we ended up getting a clearer picture of both sides of the show, some good surprises, and even a non-annoying “What it means to be this generation” moment. Had these two episodes been combined, things probably would have been fine. But let us hope this is merely an indicator of things to come.

Also, Gen X winning is probably making Carl Bilancione (“Survivor Africa”) toss in his sleep.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Finale: Everybody Hates Cydney

Say what you will about the finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but in my opinion, it was entertaining. Sure, it was pretty bog-standard at times, and sure, where it DID deviate from the norm were areas that would be pretty controversial. But it was still hilarious. And, as the title may indicate, our highlight of the night was once again the result of a fire-making challenge at the final four.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, and start back at the beginning, where Mark the Chicken threatens his own life in the game by waking everybody up at oh-dark-thirty in the morning. Tai, no fan of the snooze button, takes Mark out for a cuddle session by the beach, where he talks about his drive to win the game, and while it’s a confessional we’ve seen a million times before, it’s still kind of sweet. Around this time, we also get more of a “Michele is determined” confessional, which is unsurprising and uninteresting.

Once dawn has actually broken, we get to hear some strategy from Aubry and Tai. The pair agree to stick together (smart for both of them, since Aubry needs a solid ally, and Tai needs the girls not to stick together and get him out), and correctly decide to target Michele. The grounds for this, rather than Michele being the biggest jury threat after Aubry, is that Cydney’s the person most likely to be swayed to their side. Not the only logic I’d expect from this crew, but I can definitely see their point in this matter. Either way, the pair come up with the best option for both of them.

At our reward challenge, we get our first misstep: Copying “Survivor Worlds Apart”. Granted, if you’re going to copy an element from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, this challenge is one to do it on. Each contestant slides tiles with numbers on one side, line patterns on the other, into a hole, hitting a pan. Once all their tiles are slid, they must carry as many as possible on the flat of a machete to a finish table. There, they pair up matching line patterns, using the numbers from the three unique tiles to open a combination lock, winning reward. While I do wish we got an original challenge, as always, this one is a pretty good one to do, bringing in a nice “do it yourself” aesthetic, but having several fun stages to watch. I’ll let it slide this time.

While our challenge comes from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, our reward comes circa “Survivor Exile Island”. It’s a full-course meal with a protein bar added on for somewhat of a comedic effect. A pretty good reward to have (though not the best we’ll see tonight), and it’s not a game-breaker like a challenge advantage, so I’m happy there. I’m also happy that we get a pretty even challenge overall, though Aubry ends up taking the lead to win. While she does lose a lot of it, due to a mistake in the pattern matching, she ends up winning the challenge overall, good for her. And, of course, Probst offers her the chance to bring somebody along for the ride. After a bit of thought, Aubry chooses Cydney, which, contrary to what Michele will say later, I say is the correct decision. She and Tai were talking about needing to bring Michele into the fold, and what better way to do so than by sharing a feast with her? On top of this, if the goal is for Michele not to win immunity, then you want to maximize those chances by bringing someone along, and in terms of challenge ability, Cydney is the clear choice.

The food works its magic, and Cydney hops right on board with Aubry. She admits she’s playing in the middle, which frankly is what she should be doing, but she also says her “ideal” final three would be herself, Aubry, and Tai, so that seems pretty definitive to me. As I said last week, and will continue to say this episode, Cydney has played an excellent game overall, having a very good read on people, and always making sure she has a backup plan to stay in power. But if I WERE to find a flaw in it, apart from perhaps moving away from the old To Tang when she would have been pretty well guaranteed final three against less-likable players, it would be this here. Aubry and Tai should NOT be Cydney’s idea final three. Michele and Aubry should be. At this point, with how many days there are left, we have to assume that there’s going to be a final two at this point. Whether Cydney can win against anybody left, I don’t know, but your primary goal going into a final three should be to have people who will take you to the end on either side of you, thus lowering the pressure on that final immunity challenge. Going with Aubry and Tai means that you’re stuck with at least one person who won’t take you regardless (Tai), and one person who sees you as a threat (Aubry). Going with Aubry and Michele means that you have your biggest competition angling to get each other out, rather than yourself. BOOM! Guaranteed spot at Final Tribal Council. Keep that in mind. The food is working its magic.

Back at the camp, we’re in reruns, as Michele points out to Tai that they’re on the bottom, and that perhaps they ought to work together to oust Aubry. This is also where Michele criticizes Aubry’s taking of Cydney on reward, and again, I have to disagree. You’re pissing off two people regardless, and since there’s no way Aubry is taking you, she’s going to be leaving someone behind to plot with you regardless. Better to leave Tai behind, since he’s more firmly on her side. Just like last episode, Tai talks about it being an individual game, and how he may need to flip on Aubry for his own benefit, but this time I don’t buy it. Once bitten, twice shy, but if Tai wasn’t going to flip on Aubry when he was pissed off and it was in his best interest, no way he does so now.

Not done with our repetition of “Survivor Worlds Apart”, the immunity challenge is ALSO a repeat of a challenge from that season. Running to a platform in the water, contestants take a key back to shore and unlock a ladder, which leads to second key, which unlocks a ball and rope, which they use to pull down a ladder, which leads to a third key, which unlocks a pole with which to push off a bag of puzzle pieces, which then must be used to solve a puzzle to win immunity. An overly complicated challenge, and overall just kind of dull, though I’ll admit that the puzzle is nicely different, and the stairs and ladder unfolding was kind of cool to watch.

As with a lot of boring challenges, it’s saved with a good bit of back-and-forth. Aubry once again takes an early lead, but stumbles on the puzzle, while Tai and Cydney trade places a lot, and Michele oddly slows down on the physical portions of the challenge. That doesn’t matter as much, though, as Michele comes back to win immunity! A nice win on her part, but probably the worst possible outcome for Aubry. Now that her primary target is gone, she herself is likely to become a target, and at the very least, she’ll have to vote out someone who’d likely take her to the final two.

Sure enough, as soon as we get back to camp, the wheels start turning. True to her word about keeping her options open, when Michele broaches the subject of getting rid of Aubry, Cydney jumps right on board. We don’t see her advocate for getting rid of Tai, which at this point would probably be her best move, but since it seems like Michele wouldn’t go for that anyway, it’s probably not that big of a deal. And Aubry is a real threat, so might as well get her out anyway.

Tai, on the other hand, is not so easily swayed. We get some lip service to the fact that he MAY decide to just keep it simple and vote for Aubry, but with the way he and Aubry talk, plus the history they’ve had together, you can tell it’s not going to happen, and a tie (or a Tai, if you will), is going to be forced. If you needed any big evidence for it, look no further than the notable conversation where Cydney asks Michele if she ought to practice making fire, and Michele says no. If that wasn’t epic foreshadowing for a fire-making challenge, as well as for the outcome, I don’t know what is.

That particular Tribal Council, in a rarity for the season, is pretty ho-hum, though to be fair, we all know it’s just window-dressing for the main event. Sure enough, we get our promised tie, and Cydney and Aubry, the two allies, just duke it out in a fire-making challenge. And let me tell you, this is the highlight of the episode. Oh, not because it’s incredibly close like the battle between Bobby Jon and Stephenie on “Survivor”, nor is it hilariously bad like the one on “Survivor Cook Islands”, but for the jury’s reaction. The whole “Jury may not interact with players.” rule has varied in how strictly it’s enforced, and this is by no means the most emotive jury we’ve ever seen, but this was really lopsided in how the jurors wanted it to go. I mean, I know Cydney made some enemies on the jury, but she was just REVILED by most of them. Granted, it was kind of funny that Cydney’s fire never really even got off the ground, but this was really a case of “Burn the witch!” level of ill will towards Cydney.

In the end, the jury gets their wish, and Cydney gets the axe. Especially after that trashing she took from the jury, I have to say it’s a loss. As I said, Cydney’s game may not have been the strongest out of everyone left, but that’s more of a testament to the strength of the others games than to any weakness in Cydney’s game. She played hard, and by and large she played well, and so will be missed. That said, if someone had to go at this time, she was probably the least interesting person left, and the least likely to win, so from that perspective, it’s the least of all evils. As I say, though, no disrespect there for Cydney. She has well earned a good spot in “Survivor” history.

Michele, naturally, is upset back at the camp, given that people are only NOW starting to realize that this season is going to be a final two rather than a final three. The three try and console each other, repeating over and over that there CAN’T be any more votes, and that they’re at the end. Frankly, I’m sick of it! Look, wishful thinking is one thing, but this is just denying the facts! Sometimes the game doesn’t work out the way you want it to, and that can be frustrating, but there’s no sense in denying it!

See? There’s tree-mail right now telling you to go for your final challenge, and now you’ll have to do the hard work of deciding who to go to the end with. Probst is taking off the necklace, once and for all confirming that… they’re the final three and will go on to plead their case at Final Tribal Council?

Please hold for a moment while the blogger goes and puts his brain back in. It fell out due to being improperly secured during that sharp turn.

POP! Ok, so yes, the optimists were right, and this is a final three. Have to admit, I didn’t see that coming. They got me. Good one. Granted, I generally prefer final twos over final threes, and so am a bit frustrated in that regard, but, due to how impressed I am at the producers pulling the wool over our eyes so, I have a hard time being frustrated at it. Plus, what we get instead is also really cool.

Yes, for once Probst’s grandstanding about “A ‘Survivor’ First!” was not, in fact, grandstanding, but the real deal. Rather than play for immunity, our players instead play for the right to kick one member off the jury. They’ll leave Tribal Council, be sequestered so they can’t unduly influence the votes, and get no say at the Final Tribal Council. Now, I know for a fact that this twist has some backlash, and I can’t pretend it’s not without merit. Something just seems unfair about putting some poor schmo on the jury only to have his or her last moment in the sun ripped away on the whim of one player. It goes against what seems to be at the core of normal “Survivor”. I, on the other hand, really like this twist! True, it does seem to fundamentally change “Survivor” from what we knew, but frankly, a good twist will do that. Personally, I see this as merely adding a new layer of jury management, and like it better than, say, a “challenge advantage”, because it’s less of a guarantee, and requires brains to be used smartly. So yeah, I think this is a cool idea! Wouldn’t want to see it used EVERY season, but if they brought it back, I wouldn’t complain.

The challenge itself? Well, in a fitting parallel to the beginning of the season, the past has come back to haunt our contestants. You remember how the first immunity challenge had a choice of a puzzle or a stacking end, and nobody did stacking? Well, not being ones to waste an opportunity, that horrible stacking option is now the final challenge of this season. You could avoid it temporarily, but not entirely, if you made it to the end. Even though it’s not an immunity challenge, and it’s visually boring, this is probably my favorite final challenge in a while. Though not exactly endurance, it’s not a strength challenge, and seems tough enough to be worthy of coming last in a season. Plus, as I said, the parallels to the beginning of the season are a nice touch.

Once again, we get a good back and forth challenge, and once again Michele edges out the competition, leaving her with the decision of who to vote off. Talking with Tai, Michele reveals to no one’s surprise that her primary target is Joe, due to being an unpersuadable Aubry vote, which makes perfect logical sense. Michele also considers taking out Neal, since he’s also a likely Aubry vote, but with more persuasive skills than Joe. Not bad logic, and Tai certainly pushes evicting Neal, but I’m inclined to say that Joe is still the better option. Not that Neal is a BAD option, since he is probably an Aubry vote, but I feel like Neal would be more open to persuasive arguments than Joe would. I hear the argument about Neal being able to persuade others, but, much as the show would have us believe that Final Tribal Council votes can be swayed, I feel like, with maybe a few jurors as exceptions, everyone’s vote is locked in by the time we get to Tribal Council. So, I say go with the least-persuadable sure vote against you.

Aubry being Aubry, of course, does not let one of her jury advocates go so easily. She attempts to switch the vote on to Scot, since he’s deemed “Most likely to give a bitter speech.”, which Michele seems to consider, but I’m not buying it. Michele has played logically pretty much the entire game, and logic dictates that Aubry, being Michele’s biggest threat, needs to have any sure votes for her taken away.

With fewer stakes, and a more predictable outcome, this Tribal Council is also little to write home about, though again, the vocalizations of the jury are a joy to watch, and we do get a bit of a spat near the end. Unsurprisingly, Michele goes for Neal, who was far more of an Aubry advocate than I though, REALLY tearing Michele apart as he leaves, comparing her to a suckling puppy. I get that Neal was an Aubry fan, and that he didn’t really get to see Michele’s game, but that was HARSH, man! For all that I am an Aubry fan, and think that of those remaining, her game was the best, Michele is still not to be disrespected. She played both sides of the fence masterfully from behind the scenes, and was incredibly flexible. She makes an excellent winner for the season. Maybe not the BEST possible winner, but excellent nonetheless.

Since it’s nigh-on impossible to find new things to talk about on Day 39, Tai, Aubry, and Michele pretty much just give us the standard confessionals you’d expect at this point in the game. Michele has the “I’ve played a good game.” confessional, Tai the “I love the game so much.” confessional, and Aubry the “I’ve learned so much!” confessional, mixed with a little bit of “Good game” confessional as well. Hopefully Tribal Council will be more interesting.

Sad to say, but it’s not. While by no means the worst we’ve ever seen, I don’t feel it really merits a blow-by-blow, especially since we’re going to have a lot to cover following the end of the episode itself. So, without further ado, here are some highlights:

-Even though he had perhaps the least to say out of anybody, Nick arrogance still managed to shine through. His “question” basically amounted to a preschooler’s guide to Final Tribal Council, with a little bit of personal advice thrown in for the players. Frankly, I wouldn’t have bothered noting it were it not for the fact that the image of Nick teaching preschoolers about “Survivor” makes me laugh.

-I’ll admit, the show got me one more time tonight. Julia’s question had me fooled. What everyone (including myself) saw as a locked “Michele” vote starts lambasting Michele in her question, talking about her early-game weakness. She turned it around of course, but it was still a well-done fake-out.

-With regards to that, actually, Michele’s answer to that was pretty bad, I thought. She and Aubry both gave pretty good Final Tribal Council performances overall, but while Aubry was maybe less exciting overall, she was more consistent. Rather than try and say that she wasn’t as weak as she seemed early game, Michele owned up to it and used it instead. This lead to the emotionally punctuating moments that Aubry didn’t have that may have clinched Michele’s win, but still, it seemed like Michele was admitting that she was kind of pathetic early on, and not in a good way. Just an odd choice to me.

-So, for all that worry about Scot being a bitter juror who might shake things up, he ends with… a hula dance. Oooh-kayyyy…

-And yeah, sending off Mark the Chicken was a nice farewell to the season. Good for you, show.

As I’ve been hinting at, Michele ends up winning in a 5-2 vote, and I have thoughts on that, believe me, but first, let us talk briefly about the reunion show, which, while not as bad as the reunion show of “Survivor Caramoan”, is still pretty bad. Too much time spent on celebrities, and not enough time with the contestants. So many unanswered questions. Who voted for whom? What do the pre-merge boots think about everything? What would Neal have asked at Final Tribal Council? And what did Cydney have to think about everything? Seriously, I can kind of get the logic in ignoring the pre-merge boots, even if I think it’s a douchey move, but ignoring CYDNEY? The lady who was a MAJOR influence on the course of the game, and even made the final episode, doesn’t even get a QUESTION at the reunion show? I’m so angry at this, I’m going to switch to text-speak. WTF, MAN?

Oh, and of course we also get our preview for next season. It’s going to be called “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X”.

Ha ha! No seriously, what’s it going to be called! This can’t be the actual title! It sounds like a MAD TV parody?

This isn’t a joke? It’s the actual title and theme of next season Hoo boy, where to begin?

Well, I suppose to start off, THIS IS A STUPID TITLE! We’ve had “versus” titles before, but those have been succinct and roll off the tongue. This title lolls around like it’s on a bunch of painkillers. Secondly, the theme is stupid. Apart from seeming more gimmicky than other tribe divisions, it basically amounts to diving the tribes by age. Which you already did. “Survivor Nicaragua.” Yeah, remember how that went? Granted, I’ve always said the concept could be done better, and maybe this season will give us that, but still, if you were going to reuse an idea, why this one? And, thirdly, THIS IS A STUPID TITLE! Seriously, even “Survivor Worlds Apart” knew not to call itself “Survivor White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar”! It’s not even like finding a good title was hard. Here, I’ll give you one right now: “Survivor Generations” Is it lame? Sure. But it’s still better than “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X”! Hell, from now on, I’m referring to it as “Survivor MGX”. I am NOT typing out that title week after week!

Ah, but that’s a rant to have next season, and a long way off in the future, so for now, we’ll just pretend it doesn’t exist. For now, it’s time to talk about the big issue of this season: the winner. Well, I say “issue”, but really, “controversy” would be a better word, because surprisingly enough, I don’t have much of an issue with Michele winning. As I have said before, and will say again, Michele played a great, if subtle, game. She never gave, up, was able to adequately play the middle without taking flak for it, and took risks. Is she the person I think SHOULD have won? No, of course not. As an avowed Aubry fan, I stand behind the fact that Aubry played the best game of the three. Aubry faced setback after setback, yet still came into positions of power, and was the driving force behind a number of flips and votes in the game. Had she won, she would have earned it. But Michele earned her win as well, I don’t begrudge her that. In my mind, this is not a case of the jury getting anything “wrong”, or of an “undeserving winner”, partly because in the case of the latter, I don’t take “deserving” into account, because I don’t think it’s a thing that should really come into play on “Survivor”. Both Aubry and Michele played great games, and while I think Aubry’s was better, Michele did not “steal” the game from Aubry, as some have claimed. She played a good game as well, and it earned her a win.

Still, the question remains: Why Michele over Aubry? We can only speculate, but there are some reasons being touted that I have to just dismiss. Some argue that Neal’s elimination cost Aubry the win, which I think is absurd. he would have been one more Aubry vote, but that’s still only three for her, so Michele wins either way. Contrary to what the show says, I DON’T buy the indecisiveness on the part of people like Jason, so I don’t think Neal’s presence would have drastically changed the outcome. Nor do I buy the conspiracy that the producers implemented the “remove a juror” twist last-minute to prevent a tie. Maybe I’m naive, but I tend to give the producers the benefit of a doubt on things like this, and attribute it to “Survivor” luck that they tend to work out well. Look at the mutiny twist from “Survivor Thailand” as an example of implementing a twist and having it go wrong. Did Aubry put the wrong people on the jury? Again, I have to say I don’t think so. Recall that even some of the people who voted against Aubry, like Jason and Scot, were complimenting her right before they were voted out. That seems like the sort of person you’d want on the jury, so how was Aubry supposed to have known? Was this a “bitter jury”? What evidence is there for it? There was no ranting about people’s games being ruined, nor any tirades from anyone but Neal, who wasn’t even there. That, to me, says no bitterness, especially since there IS a case for Michele’s game. No, I think it was a combination of two factors that did Aubry in this time, both of which were, to a degree, out of her control. The first was the tightness of Jason, Julia, and Scot. I’ll admit this was a failing on my part, but while I knew that Julia was definitely in Michele’s corner, I counted on Jason and Scot being free agents come Final Tribal Council. I should have realized that tight in-game usually means tight on-jury. I think wherever Julia went, Jason and Scot would follow, so that’s three Michele votes right off the bat. A hard hill to overcome. Had Aubry voted out Michele post-merge, or Julia pre-merge, things might have been different, but in the case of the latter, there’s no telling how things would have unfolded from there, and I can see why Aubry didn’t consider Michele a threat, since her game was so on the down-low. Second, and I think most important, is timing. Both Aubry and Michele had a “rising from underdogdom” narrative to work with, and I’d say both used it to great effect. I would say that Aubry’s story overcame greater odds and had greater successes, but that’s just me. The advantage that did Aubry is is when her story peaked. Aubry showed her true self right around the Scot vote, fairly late in the game, but it made the back half of her game seems somewhat weaker. In comparison, Michele’s big moments mostly came at the end, what with getting Neal off the jury and surviving Tai’s double-vote. This makes Michele’s successes more recent, and therefore more prescient in the minds of the jury. Again, not saying that that’s ALL Michele had going for her, but I think it ultimately tipped the scales.

Even without the ideal outcome, though, this was still a great season! While maybe not as big in terms of characters as its predecessor, “Survivor Cambodia”, it still gave us a lot of likable people with really excellent strategy and fun blindsides! What more could you ask for in a season of “Survivor”? I know some complain that the players weren’t as over the top or as likable this season as others, but I’d counter that you can’t expect every season to top the previous one. It’s just not realistic. As it stands, what we got, while admittedly probably not the stuff of “Survivor” legend, is still upper-echelon “Survivor”, and I look forward to seeing many of these players back in the future!

But, before we leave these players for a while, let us reflect back on my stupidity in my rankings pre-season, and find out where I went wrong.

Peter: I may have given him too much credit, and slightly overestimated his time in the game, but I nailed him otherwise.

Aubry: Her personality I got, but I should have gone with my heart rather than my head on her time in the game. She lived up to, and often surpassed, my greatest expectations.

Joe: Wrong, but in my defense, those biographies and introduction videos make everyone seem more exciting. How was I to know he’d be the new Julia Landauer (“Survivor Caramoan”)?

Neal: Wrong, obviously. I think he had what it takes, but he never really got the chance to show it off, and so went a lot earlier than expected.

Liz: She seemed to have what I thought she would, but was a target much earlier than I guessed.

Debbie: Definitely kookier than I would have thought, but she still acquitted herself very well. Better than I thought, anyway.

Cydney: Dead wrong. There were ASPECTS of her character, particularly early on, that lined up with how I thought she’d play, but she was WAY smarter and made it WAY farther than I would have said. Still, if I’m going to be wrong, this is a good way to be wrong!

Darnell: Wrong. Much less socially aware, and much shorter lived than I thought.

Alecia: She did give me a reason for that “tough” description, but I was still wrong about how long she’d last.

Jason: Wrong. He was dramatic, but in a way that gelled with his tribe, and so made it much farther than I predicted.

Jennifer: I predicted neither her neuroticism nor her early exit. Wrong, but fun.

Scot: He was MAYBE a bit smarter than I predicted, but I’m giving myself this one overall. He left about when I though, and played about how I thought.

Anna: I try and give the “pro poker player” occupation the benefit of a doubt, and look what happens! Wrong!

Nick: Well, he was an arrogant douchebag and left the first time he was vulnerable, so TECHNICALLY, I was right.

Caleb: Right on personality, wrong on time in the game. Then again, how could I have predicted his medevac?

Julia: Wrong. While I can’t say she was any more interesting than I thought, she did make it very far, and was pretty good strategically.

Tai: Wrong. He was far more flexible than I would have thought, and lasted longer for it.

Michele: If there’s one consolation to Michele’s win, it’s that I CALLED IT! NEENER NEENER NEENER!

As I said before, good cast, good season. My feeling overall is that people like this season less than I do, and the success of Aubry probably has something to do with my inflated score, but even taking that into account, I think this season stands on its own. It has a lot of strategy right from the get-go, has generally likable heroes who end up succeeding in the end, and even if it’s not ground-breaking, it’s still solid. This season was under-hyped before it began, and I think now I understand why the medevacs were emphasized over the gameplay. While quite good, the gameplay still wasn’t groundbreaking, whereas the medevacs were something we don’t see every season, and for good reason (though Probst attributing all of them to heat was an error on his part). Thus, you want to emphasize the most unique aspect of your season, to make it stand out. Granted, I think they still could have talked about a season of “heroes and villains, and epic blindsides” along with the medevacs, but I can definitely see from a marketing standpoint why they might not be what you want to emphasize.

If nothing else, this season has given me one thing that I love, and therefore it’s time for another…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

Today, we’re talking about my personal favorite contestants of all time. Not the best ones, just the ones I enjoy watching the most and least. Guess who ends up on the list from this season.

TOP 5

5. Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): Like I said, this list is for the people I enjoy watching the most, not the people I think played the best games overall. In fact, Rupert is maybe the best exemplar there is of how good gameplay does not automatically equate to entertainment value for me. Despite having next to no strategy, and generally getting carried along for being an easy vote, Rupert is still a fun guy to watch. You can tell that he’s trying to live every minute he can to the best that he can, is over the top and hilarious, and I admire his stick-to-it spirit. He’s one of the guys who got me into “Survivor”, and I owe him for that, plus I can identify with the “fat little picked-on kid” thing. That said, Rupert does fall low on the list because of his overall poor gameplay, and the fact that we’ve seen too much of him overall. Three times was all he needed. Still, he’s so over-the-top and crazy fun that you can understand why he got brought back so often.

4. Stephen Fishbach (“Survivor Tocantins”): Stephen perhaps best exemplifies what I generally like in an entertaining “Survivor” character. He’s smart, but a little neurotic. Witty, but can take jokes and potshots at himself as easily as others. Stephen played a really fascinating game, making alliances with people you wouldn’t expect him to bond with, and showing himself to be tougher than even he thought, making him intensely compelling. His second showing wasn’t as good as I had hoped, but he was still a lot of fun to watch, even if it was at the expense of his misery.

3. Kass McQuillen (“Survivor Cagayan”): Put down the hate sticks, this is my list! What can I say, I think “older” ladies (within the context of the show old, not actually old) who can still be strategic are incredibly compelling. They, in general, are the ultimate contradiction in terms, the supreme underdog. Many like Kass simply for her snarky comments and seemingly no sense of social grace, but for me, I like that she has hidden depths. Look a little deeper and you’ll see a woman who knows a lot more than she lets on, and is able to at times fool even the audience. That means that, no matter what you watch her for, you’ll always get a surprise. Plus, she had that incredible come-from-behind victory on the puzzle. That, in my book, helps make a great character.

2. John Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”): Pretty much the previous contestant I identify most with. Cochran exemplifies all things that are “nerdy”, at least within the context of “Survivor”. he could reference just as well, if not better, than the rest of the audience, and as seen in his second outing, the guy really did know his way around the game. Granted, his antics did sometimes descend into self-parody, and that keeps him from the top spot of this list, but even keeping that in mind, he’s still a character like no other, and in many ways, a really good one.

1. Aubry Bracco (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): Yes, she of the numerous “Survivor” comparisons has won me over. It’s fitting that they showed the tweet of her cosplaying as Cochran at the reunion show, since that’s what ultimately won me over. No, I don’t want to have sex with Cochran, but it did bring home to me that Aubry, in many ways, was Cochran, but with more social graces and less of a stereotype. She made references, but didn’t go overboard with them overall. More than that, though, Aubry was once again a good underdog story. Someone who had arguably some of the worst luck “Survivor” could shower upon you, yet kept digging and somehow would up in the end. Sure, she didn’t win, but that’s how the game goes sometimes. For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed her, and look forward to seeing her in the future.

Honorable Mention: Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien (“Survivor Marquesas”): If Aubry is Cochran with more social graces, then in many ways, Kathy is Kass with more social graces. Another “older” lady who didn’t seem to belong out there, yet somehow weaseled her way into the end with some solid gameplay moments along the way. Kathy also has a good underdog story arc, being one of the best examples of people learning to play as they go, and being very likable on top of that. Two things keep her from the list proper. Partly, she’s not as intellectual as someone like Kass, and it’s a personal preference, but I prefer watching intellect to outdoor skills. Second, and more important, she falls outside my “nostalgia zone”. I watched “Survivor Marquesas” many years after it had aired, so I don’t hold much special attachment to the season. If I did, Kathy might have supplanted Rupert on the list, but Rupert has that nostalgia factor, and just edges her out. She’s still awesome, though.

BOTTOM 5

5. Roger Sexton (“Survivor The Amazon”): This is a case where my rage would probably be much higher if I had a nostalgic attachment to this season. As it stands, though, sexism will not be rewarded, except with a spot on the “Bottom 5”. “Battle of the Sexes” seasons seem to bring out the worst tendencies in male “Survivor” contestants, but Roger exemplifies that, in a sense, by being the least extreme about it. Rather than be an affected, over-the-top sexism, Roger just seems casually sexist in general, pretty much ignoring the women come the merge. In some ways, though, this is worse, since it makes it seem as though this is how Roger really is, rather than an exaggerated character. This, in my eyes, makes him an awful human being, and hard to watch as a result.

4. Kat Edorsson (“Survivor One World”): I’ve had many a rant about this young lady, so I’ll be brief here. While there are exceptions to this rule, I generally like my characters intellectually stimulating and witty. Kat is the opposite of this. She, as a character, exemplifies every stereotype associated with the valley girl. She is stupid, vapid, and unfunny, which is perhaps the worst indictment of all. She’s not an awful human being, like some on this list are, but she’s no fun to watch either.

3. “Purple Kelly” (“Survivor Nicaragua”): Technically, she’s a stand in for everyone who gives up on “Survivor”, but still justified in that Kelly Shinn, aka “Purple Kelly”, exemplifies my problem with this type of character. People quitting, at this point in the series, was nothing new, but people who brought nothing, and gave up under the lamest of circumstances, are wasted space. You can’t help but think “that spot could have gone to someone worthy!”, and it’s pretty hard to like someone when you’re thinking that.

2. Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”): My problem with Phillip may not be his fault, but, to paraphrase the man himself, “He annoys me greatly.” The man took time away from actual interesting people to go off and act crazy, and I don’t mean that in the racist way. Phillip, rather than talk strategy, garbled crazy philosophy, and THOUGHT he was talking strategy. Especially in his first outing, the man did NOTHING to merit being cast on the season, yet the marketing department kept coming back to him as this “hilarious” ball of comedy. Which he wasn’t. I hope I’ve made that clear.

1. Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”): And so, we come to the ultimate delusion of grandeur. Like with Kat, I feel as though I’ve talked about this a number of times, so I’ll be brief. Russell is basically a grown up whiny little kid who grossly overestimates himself, then bitches and moans when things don’t go his way. He has no respect for the game, is misogynistic, simplistic, and a leech on our viewing time. May he be gone from our screens forever.

Honorable Mention: Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”): Colton was basically another Russell Hantz, although he focussed more on racism than sexism, and amped the whininess up to a whole new level. I leave him off the list because, after the tragic and unfortunate death of his fiancee, Caleb Bankstown (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”), I feel like the poor guy has had enough hard times, and doesn’t need me putting him down. The least I can do is keep him off the list proper.

PHEW! I’m just about beat. After a satisfactory end to a great season, I’m about ready for a short break! I may be away for a couple weeks, but don’t worry, you’ll still get your off-season content. I’ve got a special blog I’ve been wanting to do since the season began, so keep your eyes peeled. And, of course, “Survivor Retrospectives” will be up and running again before you know it!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 13: What Could Possibly Kaoh Rong?

Well, after several delays, I can FINALLY blog about this episode! And it was definitely a good one! Not as great as some of the others, but unlike last week, stuff of importance actually HAPPENED! Let’s see what it was.

Unsurprisingly, we start off with Tai being stunned by the blindside of Jason from the previous episode. Somewhat surprisingly, it’s JOE who goes and comforts Tai, pointing out that it was just the will of the group. You’d think, with how hard she was working him, that it’d be Aubry who was trying her damnedest to get Tai back on the good side, but no, we need SOMETHING for Joe to do. Tai, while understanding of the situation, is hurt that he wasn’t let in on the plan. He brings up a good point, actually. If Jason would have gone home either way, why NOT let Tai know what was going on? It saves the trouble of a disgruntled alliance member later, and doesn’t negatively impact your plans in any way.

So, at the moment, Tai is handling himself well. Where he loses me is when he gets back on the “Michele isn’t part of the alliance.” track. Michele mentions being hurt by those comments at the past Tribal Council (understandably so), but Tai could have just apologized and let it drop. Instead, he continues to try and justify himself, in so doing only widening the gap between himself and Michele.

But Michele is not the only person out on Tai at this point! No, since Tai was the most hurt by Aubry not voting for Michele, she’s the one he goes to for comfort. Now, this is a great opportunity for Aubry to mend the bridge with Tai, bring a strong ally back into the fold, and cement her position as the power player of Dara. Naturally, being the excellent strategist she is, she… gets wishy-washy with Tai and just tries to justify herself, which Tai isn’t buying. I get wanting to distance herself from Tai, but doing so so blatantly makes him more likely to move against her. Granted, it may soften the blow if she plans to vote him off, but he’d still be offended anyway. May as well lull him into a false sense of security to keep him from going off on his own and betraying you. He’s not going to be significantly more butthurt anyway.

We head to our one challenge of the episode (which should tell you something about how the episode goes), which is a decent one, all things considered. Everyone runs up a jungle path to a set of ladder rungs with bags of sandbags tied to them. One at a time, you untie said sandbags, and bring them back to the start, where you try and throw them into five separate holes. The first person with a sandbag in each hole wins a massage night and feast. Pretty good reward for this late in the game, and a simple, but effective, challenge. What I particularly like is the possibility that someone may not need to get all the bags to win. It’s just the first person to make the five holes wins. With more sandbags than you need, and no collecting old bags until everyone’s out, it’s very possible for someone to win without getting all their bags. It doesn’t happen that way, but it’s still an interesting idea.

Our early frontrunners seems to be Cydney and Aubry (Michele surprisingly has a pretty poor performance this challenge), with Aubry pulling into a 4-bag lead before running out of sandbags. Since everyone must throw before a reset, though, we have to wait as Joe slowly makes his way back for the remaining bags. The dramatic music tells us we’ve got an underdog victory on our hands, though, and with his last two sandbags, Joe manages to win a reward challenge. For all the hard time I’ve given him, and will continue to give him, this is a pretty cool moment to see, and a high point for Joe. Strategically, he’s still made no impact beyond being a solid Debbie/Aubry number, but still, this is a good moment for him, and fun to watch.

Naturally, Joe gets to take someone along on his reward, and no surprise, he picks Aubry. Joe is then given the option to take a SECOND person on the reward, but his intellectual reserves are exhausted by that Aubry decision, so Aubry chooses Cydney, which is smart. An argument COULD be made for Tai, but it’s pretty clear that Aubry is hitching herself to the Cydney train, so it’s good to strengthen that bond if you can.

But the first order of business on any reward is food, and Joe is certainly living it up. There are steak kebabs, and despite Joe not being a major steak person, he eats about eight of the damn things. Sydney gives us a double dose of “Survivor” references here, giving Dawn’s warning about reward food from “Survivor Caramoan”, combined with Stephen Fishbach’s “gastro-intestinal distress” from “Survivor Cambodia”. If you don’t think this is prophetic, then you don’t know how this show works.

We do eventually get to the alliance building portion of the reward, and it starts off about as typical as you’d expect, with one side (Aubry) talking about wanting to go to the end, and the other (Cydney) assenting to this, with a nice confessional from the latter about liking the idea, but keeping their options open. I roll my eyes a little bit at Cydney saying that she’s a big threat to win this, since out of everyone left at the end of this episode, I’d say she has the LEAST chance of winning at Final Tribal Council. Still, can’t fault her wanting to downplay how big of a threat she is, and her low chances of winning are due more to the players left than herself overall.

Oh, but this is not a standard strategy talk, because Joe actually opens his mouth! And we’re reminded once again of why Joe SHOULDN’T be opening his mouth for the sake of his alliance. For whatever reason, he seems to see Aubry as the major threat to flip against the threesome, and talks about how handily she can beat himself and Cydney in the finals. I’ll give Joe credit, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more convincing argument… of why CYDNEY should go AGAINST the alliance! Seriously, man, your closest ally and you’re throwing her under the bus like this? Not intentionally, I know, but the effect is the same. If Cydney wasn’t considering flipping, she surely is now.

Aubry, being the subject of this assassination, is quick to comment on this in confessional. Naturally, her conclusion from Joe’s “Aubry will win.” bit is that… Cydney’s a threat. What? Look, I’m not saying Cydney is non-threatening, but compared to Michele or even Tai, she’s low on the totem pole in that regard, particularly given that she seems to be your main strategy buddy. And, more to the point, HOW DOES JOE TALKING ABOUT YOU BEING A THREAT MEAN THAT CYDNEY’S A THREAT? Seriously, did we just miss a confessional here? I have no idea how one of these things follows from the other. A non-sequitur if ever there was one. On the plus side, Aubry’s SOLUTION to the perceived threat of Cydney is to bring Tai back into the fold. The right conclusion for the wrong reasons.

Bringing Tai back into the fold may be tougher than she thinks, though. With how Tai was insulting Michele all through the past two episodes, you’d think things would be really awkward with the two of them back at camp. And it is, at least at first. Eventually, Michele and Tai go out to the water to have a talk, where the insulting of Michele continues with Tai calling her “Closed off” Surely, no strategy can come from this! Michele returns in kind, pointing out that Tai kind of picks who he wants to work with, and ignores the rest, which Tai admits may be true about him. The pair bond a little closer, and it’s sweet to see. Michele even gets a Tai Massage, making Mark the Chicken jealous. It’s a cute scene, but unlike most of last episode, it has some purpose. With the two now on better speaking terms, and each correctly concluding that they’re on the bottom of the totem pole, Tai proposes potentially using his idol to blindside someone, probably Aubry due to feeling betrayed by her.

Day 35 has Tai being a bit emotional, which is quite understandable for that time in the game. Doing pretty much ANYTHING 35 days straight is tough, and “Survivor” is no picnic, to use the cliche. But there is no resting for top strategists like Aubry. Pretty much right away, she gets to work on bringing Tai back to her side, using the same sorts of arguments she used before, mixing the emotion of the game, and asking about what he wants, with a proposed play (final 3 with herself and Joe). This is something she should have started doing EARLIER, but better late than never, I suppose. It certainly seems to work for Tai, who breaks down crying on Aubry’s shoulder, and then agrees to work with the pair. Perhaps it’s the emotions of this time in the game, perhaps Aubry’s really just that good at persuading Tai, but whatever the reason, he comes back REALLY easily.

But, of course, nothing on “Survivor” is quite that easy. Unless this was “Survivor Redemption Island”, but thankfully, this is far away from that season. No, as Aubry and Tai happily walk back from the well, Cydney gets suspicious that they’ve been talking “alliance”, which naturally supplants her. I personally didn’t see anything to indicate it was anything other than a water run, so I’ll chalk that up to Cydney’s observation skills. Whatever else I say about her, I will give her credit that she’s able to read situations with little info with spooky accuracy, and that’s quite an asset on “Survivor”. In this case, Cydney uses that information to reaffirm her bond with Michele. Once again, Cydney is hedging her bets, not being totally firm on who she’s with in her confessionals, but keeping her options open in case Aubry does something screwy. Frankly, that’s how Cydney should be playing, and she’s doing it quite well. Not much else to say.

The pair try to pick a person to target, but that quickly becomes irrelevant. As Cydney predicted, Joe is suffering ill effects from eating all that beef on reward. He’s going the route of Bruce Kanegai (“Survivor Exile Island”), wherein nothing is moving in his bowels. He even goes one step further than Bruce, and has his blockage also extend to the urinary tract. You can tell that the poor guy is toughing it out through a lot of pain, and puts up with it for about as long as he possibly can. Medical does eventually come out, and we get a hope spot when they decide to start him on medication rather than pull him from the game. When they come back later in the evening, though, everyone knows it’s over. The death knell of Jeff Probst coming to camp has sounded. Sure enough, no one, not even Joe, is surprised at the verdict of his needing to leave the game. The guy just says he’s proud of how far he made it at his age, and frankly, it’s hard to get too mad at him. He had a real moment in the sun with that reward challenge, and he’s just so upbeat about the exit that you have to like him at least a little. Still, not too sorry to see him go. Like it’s spiritual ancestor “Survivor Cagayan”, this season has a real strength in that most people came to play, and for good or for ill, they did. Also like “Survivor Cagayan”, though, there were exceptions to this rule, and Joe was one of those. You can’t really dislike the guy, but you can’t say her really contributed to the game. If someone had to go before the final episode, he’s probably the best choice.

And what a final four we’re left with! I would say this is the most universally likable and, for want of a better term, “worthy of winning” final four we’ve had since “Survivor Philippines”, and that’s saying something! With Joe gone, everyone left has at least a couple of likable qualities and reasons why they could logically be crowned the winner! It’s going to be hard to have a “bad” outcome to the season. Plus, with Joe gone, we now ostensibly have two groups of two (Michele and Cydney vs. Tai and Aubry), which is always tough, but there’s play within those groups. The smart money probably says that Tai flips back with Michele and Cydney, given what we saw this episode, leaving Aubry to go at this next Tribal Council. I wouldn’t count Aubry out yet, though. As she noted, this is an exact parallel to how Neal left (minus the idol), and we see how THAT turned out for her. Things aren’t looking good for my favorite player, but I’m not counting her out just yet!

Speaking of counting, though, it’s time to rank the players based on how likely they are to win at Final Tribal Council, a tradition here at “Idol Speculation”.

1. Aubry: Perhaps a controversial call, but I think if Aubry makes the end, she wins. She’s played a really visible game, but a really smart one, having come back from several strategic deficits, and has managed to avoid taking the negative blame for most of her moves. Hell, even her enemies like her! Remember Jason and Scot talking about how worthy a competitor she was? And these are people she was responsible for voting out! You couldn’t wish for better jurors! Also, I have a hard time thinking of people who WOULDN’T vote for Aubry, save perhaps Debbie and Julia, and I only say those because I watch the “Ponderosa” videos. Now, if this list were factoring in likelihood to make it to the Final Tribal Council, Aubry would fall much, much lower than she is. But if you ask me who has the best case at Final Tribal Council, it’d be her.

2. Michele: Were I to factor in likelihood to make it to the end, Michele would top this list hands down. Like Aubry, Michele really has no enemies on the jury, which is a good start. On top of this, Michele has played a very strong game, and as we’ve seen, is quite the debater at Tribal Council, making her a serious contender. I say that she’s more likely to make it to the end, only because her game has been played more behind proverbial closed doors, meaning she’s less likely to be seen as a threat, and thereby eliminated. However, it’s that very lack of visibility that makes it harder for her to beat Aubry in the end. I have no doubt it’s possible, but Aubry’s moves have been more public, and therefore easier to see. Michele could very easily win this game, though.

3. Tai: This was a tough call for me, deciding who to put higher: Tai or Cydney. Both have a number of strategic moves under their belt, and both have had a measure of power, but both has also taken a lot of the negative flak for their moves, which could put them in a bad spot depending on who they go up against. I put Tai slightly above Cydney only because he has more of an underdog story going for him. If he pulls out the “Vietnam refugee” storyline again, and points out how much he doesn’t resemble the prototypical “Survivor” contestant, he might just snag a win.

4. Cydney: As I say, this is a tough call, and Cydney is by no means out of the running. She’s made a number of visible power plays, and her observational abilities alone might be worthy of a win. But, unlike some others, her moves could be seen as detrimental to her, particularly the decision to flip on Nick, Jason, and Scot. She arguably put herself in a worse position, and probably bears the brunt of ill-will from the jury. Again, she’s by no means a goat, and she could very well surprise me, but I feel like out of everyone here, Cydney is the weakest link.

And there you have it! Am I the oracle of Kaoh Rong, or just some guy on the internet talking out of his ass? This Wednesday will tell, and you’ll know well before me! As I mentioned in my last blog, I have a meeting this week that bleeds into the “Survivor” finale (curse it not being on Sunday anymore), so I will have to wait. The gap should not be this long this time, and I thank you for your patience with me. Here’s to a great finale for a great season!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 12: Cute Cat Video

Remember how I praised last episode for how, despite the fact that the end result was a boring vote along alliance lines, it still managed to be interesting? Yeah, sad to say that streak lasts all of one episode. While this episode as a whole isn’t BAD per se, it is definitely on the weaker end for this season. Ah well, at least this will make this particular blog a fairly short one.

On night 29, things are fairly subdued for once. Neither major complaining nor major gloating, so it’s a bit hard to figure out what to do here. Fortunately, Tai saves us by providing his one good move of the evening. He, like most everyone else watching, has figured out that it’s in his best interest to use his extra vote at the upcoming Tribal Council (since it would make an odd number, helping prevent ties), and then his hidden immunity idol at the Tribal Council after that, thereby effectively guaranteeing him a spot in the final episode, making both the audience and the producers giddy with joy. After all, despite what we see this episode, Tai is still pretty well a fan favorite, so having him in the final episode is pretty much a win-win for all involved. To add to the intelligence of Tai’s move here, he actually doesn’t tell EVERYBODY. He tells Aubry and Joe, which is probably for the best. Were everyone to know, it would probably make him too big of a threat, and thus make him a potential target. By letting just Aubry and Joe know, he strengthens the bond with his current closest ally (Aubry), and makes it more likely that they’ll see HIS advantage as THEIR advantage, and thereby not want to vote Tai out.

Less successful in his ploy to stay in the game is Jason, who thankfully has learned something from his sabotage tactics. Once again, he doesn’t go into a raging storm about the whole situation, though he does waste no time in throwing Tai under the bus. That’s fine, it’s his prerogative, and he doesn’t do it in a malicious way. Nor does his plea fall on deaf ears. Michele is certainly receptive, once again citing Jason being beatable at Final Tribal as a reason to keep him around. The only thing I don’t get here is that Michele also highlights her willingness to build trust with her alliance by getting rid of her closest ally as a positive here. Um, Michele, what’s the point of building trust with your alliance IF YOU’RE PLANNING TO FLIP ON THEM ANYWAY! Plus, as we see in this episode, Michele now has very little leverage within the alliance due to that vote. Not that she could have done much to change it, but let’s be real, it’s only by the grace of Cydney that she’s spared tonight.

Ah, I see it’s time for the traditional “Gross Food Challenge” of the season. We start out with a classic: Giant, live grubs, which… Oh, sorry, Tai just found a random creepy-crawley in camp. Actually, that’s kind of a cool tidbit. Granted, there doesn’t seem to be a gross-food challenge this season (unless they’re saving it for the next episode), but when they do happen, you always hear the phrase “local delicacy” applied to the various food items. However, you never actually SEE said items locally. To have one come and invade the camp adds to the authenticity of the show, and is kind of nice to see. Sadly, this instead seaways into shenanigans with Mark the chicken, as they get him to eat the grub, and he goes berserk. A fun enough scene, but now the “Mark the Chicken” stuff is starting to feel a little forced. Put bluntly, this scene does not mesh well with the episode, and serves no purpose other than slight amusement. It’s like cute cat videos on the internet: Technically they’re harmless and there’s nothing wrong with them, but they can be annoying in large quantities, and there’s probably a better use of your time out there.

Sadly, what we cut to next is not one of them. Lest you think that “Jason is determined.” confessionals were confined to last episode, well, you’d be WRONG on that score! We get another one, and it’s about as generic as they come. Hmm, now what could we possibly add to spice this scene up a little bit? JOE! Of course! Because nothing adds to a reused confessional like the take of a guy who’s screen time tonight equals his total screen time in the first 12 episodes of this season. Joe offers us very little insight into Jason’s situation, beyond telling us that Jason is frustrated and lashing out. A fair enough assessment, but we could already have told you that, thanks Joe. Actually, Jason tries to sell Joe on the “Anti-Tai allegiance” thing, which goes about as well as you’d expect. Apart from Joe not being enough of a player to do anything about his status in the game, Jason really doesn’t sell this one well. For the most part, he’s been good about hiding his anger to the faces of his tribemates (or at least, hiding it better than Scot), but here he lets it leak through in a pretty big way, and that’s not good for him.

Getting on to the actual reward challenge this episode, we find that I should hate it because it’s largely a simple water obstacle course, and a team challenge after the merge. However, I don’t hate it, for one key reason: that maze! Now, mazes on “Survivor” are nothing new. They go all the way back to “Survivor The Australian Outback”. Even tilt mazes are nothing new for “Survivor”, appearing as early as “Survivor Marquesas”. But having one on the water has never really been seen before, and even seeing it as a team challenge is somewhat uncommon. But really, the water’s the big factor here. It’s usually pulleys that move the maze, and that’s all well and good, but this really adds a new teamwork dynamic to the challenge, and makes things more difficult. Now, to be fair, that difficult increase is offset by the decrease of not having holes for the balls to fall through in the maze, which is a change I’m not for. Not that I think the challenge was easy or anything, but having those holes made for come-from-behind victories, or at least near victories. With no real way to LOSE time on that portion of the challenge, it makes the results a lot more predictable, which is never a plus. Still, the awesomeness of a water maze is just too good to resist, so I’ll give this challenge a pass.

What I said about predictability holds true, though, as Jason, Tai, and Michele get an early lead and hold it throughout the challenge. Whoop-de-doo. They get to have themselves another picnic and go see an animal rescue habitat. Again, I refer you to my “cute cat videos” comment to get my opinion on scenes like this. Now, I’m being harsh, in that this one turns out to be more unique, and a bit more touching, but still, it feels a bit like time was spent poorly. Plus, we get Michele trying her best to win the “Amber Brkich Award” from “Survivor The Australian Outback” by uttering the most inane exclamations about her relative enjoyment of the reward.

Ok, ok, perhaps I’m being overly snarky because of my relative lack of enjoyment of this episode, since we DO get some strategy at the reward. Basically, Tai realizes that, due to being something of a challenge threat and a likable person, Michele is more dangerous in the end than Jason, and decides to get her out. Michele, for her part, now says she wants Jason out because… Well, I’m not really sure. Michele, didn’t you WANT to go the end with Jason earlier in this episode? Make up your mind! I get wanting to save your credit with your new alliance, but Jason is the only person left who might give you some POWER in this game. Ah, but don’t worry, this isn’t the ONLY inconsistency we’ll be seeing tonight.

As for Jason? Well, since it’s his death-knell episode, we just get a cute scene of him talking about how his autistic daughter loves animals, and will be so happy to see her dad asking for monkey hugs. And, of course, Michele has to talk about how Jason’s using these stories to wedge his way into people’s hearts. Which he is. But we don’t need it spelled out for us, Michele, and you look like kind of a jerk talking bad about a guy being nice for his autistic daughter.

Well, let’s go back to the camp. Both Tai and the previews for this week foreshadowed that the alliance would crumble from within, so lets get to the crumbling! No, instead we get Joe being a bit bossy and controlling over Cydney and Aubry. Ah, these types of scenes are always hard to blog about. On the one hand, you can’t help but sympathize a bit with the guy who seems to be actually trying to survive out there. On the other hand, that’s not really what this game’s all about, and there’s no contesting the fact that Joe is definitely handling these two people the wrong way. But we’ve seen it so many times before, and it just leads to nothing. Granted, this scene plus Joe’s increased screen time could indicate a boot for him, but since he’s never even brought up as a target outside of this scene, I really don’t count it as such.

Oh, and I take delight in the fact that what Joe’s being anal about is firewood. Evidently he should have been cast on “Survivor The Amazon”. Maybe then he could have taken Rob Cesternino’s place as “Junior Deputy Firewood Bitch”.

Off to our immunity challenge, and even though it’s reused, I still like it a lot. It’s the “Balance the platform of cards” challenge from “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, though it has its roots in the card-stacking challenge from “Survivor Gabon”. While technically a reused challenge, it’s a very difficult one, and since we haven’t seen it in a while, I’ll give it a pass. One nice change is that, instead of stacking generic blocks, the players are now trying to spell “Immunity” backwards one block at a time. It’s a small change, but it helps the challenge stand out somewhat. Plus, it’s hilarious to see Joe keep spelling it wrong.

Cydney takes a lot of flak early on for moving incredibly slowly, but a loud “boom” right after this tells us all we need to know, and sure enough, Cydney wins immunity. This means that no one person has had immunity twice this season. Not that it makes much of a difference overall, since rarely has the actual target of an episode had immunity, but it’s still a pretty uncommon occurrence. Only “Survivor Fiji” can boast the same record, and this season is INFINITELY better than that one! You could argue that “Survivor The Amazon” also had the same record at this point on that season (Final Six/Day 32), but Jenna Morass did technically win two immunities, she just gave one of them to Heidi.

In any case, we move on to our crowning moment of hypocrisy for the episode, as Tai, the guy who flipped on his alliance due to not being given a fair say and not discussing things democratically, marches down to the water, and tells everyone to just vote for Michele. No justification, he’s just going for Michele. Ok, so he does tell Aubry later on why he thinks Michele should go, but why couldn’t he do that earlier And besides that, his manner, while not as callous as Scot and Jason’s, is basically the same here. Ugh, I thought we were DONE with hypocrisy for a while in this game.

If you’ll recall, Cydney does not like to be bossed around, even by Tai. She lets Michele in on what’s going on, which for her is not a bad plan. Don’t get me wrong: Tai is correct when he says Michele is a big threat who needs to go at some point. But Michele is also a strong number for Cydney, in a game where strong numbers for her are rapidly dwindling. With Julia gone, Michele has no one to turn to, and pretty much every chat we’ve seen Michele have privately has been with Cydney. Safe to say, the two are pretty close allies at this point, especially since someone needs to counter the Aubry-Joe dynamic. Naturally, since Tai is their biggest threat, and they need to keep Jason around for numbers, their plan is to… Get rid of Jason? Not sure I follow the logic here. Granted, it’s better than one of the two of them going home, and it’d be harder to pitch getting rid of Tai to Joe and/or Aubry, but that still leaves you down 3-2 at the end of the day. Go for the power play!

Ah, but Tai is not the only passenger on the hypocrisy train today! No, there’s Aubry bringing up the caboose. After a fairly civilized talk between Aubry and Cydney about how the vote should go, Aubry breaks down and cries about how hard the game is. This, from the woman who criticized Jason and Scot for “playing emotionally”. How is this any different?

Man, I must really be grumpy tonight, making something out of very little. Yeah, Aubry does have a bit of a breakdown, and it’s kind of pointless, but it’s subdued as breakdowns go, and on Day 32, I think you’re entitled to be a little emotionally stressed. Though, I still must point out, this decision shouldn’t be that stressful to Aubry. Either way it goes out, the results are basically the same. She and Joe will have one person firmly on their side (either Tai or Cydney), giving them an advantage to ride to the end with, and they’ll have at least one enemy on the jury. Either way, Aubry comes out on top. If I had to favor one over the other, I’d say that getting rid of Jason is probably slightly better than getting rid of Michele. While Michele is a bigger jury threat, getting rid of her pisses off two people (Michele and Cydney), while getting rid of Jason only pisses off Tai. Plus, Tai has nowhere to go, even if he is pissed off. He’ll make it through next episode, sure, but he’d do that in either case. You think he’s going to ally himself with Michele and Cydney? The pair have admitted they don’t want him around! Plus, just explain to Tai how you’re voting before Tribal Council, and hope that he understands. It’s that simple. Again, I’m not sure there’s a “Wrong” decision here, but that one is slightly better.

For all the crap I’ve given this episode, I will say that it has a really good Tribal Council, mostly due to Tai repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth. Michele said she was going to air dirty laundry before Tribal Council, but she couldn’t have predicted as great a lead-in as Tai. Man, when he’s in power, he’s COCKY! And no, that’s not a reference to Mark the Chicken. Put away that hashtag! No, Tai talks about how democratic he’s being, which Michele rightly calls out, which leads to an aggressive back-and-forth between them, culminating in Tai telling Michele that he doesn’t consider her part of the alliance, and that she’s “temporary”. And all without one word said about Jason, the guy who should be the main topic on conversation tonight. Give Probst a lot of credit, he OWNED that moment of transferring over to Jason. And that’s why Jeff Probst is awesome. I give him a hard time, but really, the man’s a good guy (albeit with some favoritism issues) who really knows how to host this show. He deserves all of the awards.

Also in favor for this Tribal Council is that I’m not sure who’s going. As I said, this vote isn’t exactly crucial for Aubry, and both Jason and Michele have decent screentime, so I could see this one going both ways. In the end, though, the predictable result happens, and Jason is sent packing. He goes out with a lot of dignity, and deserves respect as such. That said, I can’t say I’m too sorry. While he seemed not as bad as Scot overall, he was an unpleasant figure a lot of the time, and just such a non-entity that his leaving doesn’t impact too much. Hell, due to how tight he and Aubry are, even JOE’S leaving would have had more of an impact on the game.

Perhaps I was a bit harsh on this episode in my intro. There’s nothing OFFENSIVE about it, and there are a lot of cute, enjoyable scenes. But for how exciting, how dynamic this season has been, this felt like a step backward, particularly with all the annoying hypocrisy from at least half the cast. Now, you have to work with what you’re given, but last episode showed that, even in just a standard “Survivor” episode, you can find good nuggets. Let’s hope that THIS trend isn’t a streak.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 11: Island-Ception

Please note: the following introduction is meant to be comedically hyperbolic satire. Because it was either that, or a song parody. Seriously, with Jason repeatedly calling himself an “island”, I’m going to have the lyric “I am a rock/I am an island” running through my head for the foreseeable future.

Presenting: “Survivor UN”! Because “Survivor Cook Islands” wasn’t controversial enough, we’re now giving you CULTURAL stereotypes that divide the tribes! Watch the fat, stupid Americans crumble from within! See the Europeans be snooty and high-maintainence! Gaze in wonder as the Latin Americans illegally cross into other tribe camps and produce many babies! And, of course, watch the Australians kick everybody’s ass, because they’re Australians.

Ok, ok, so this was a hard one to introduce. Give me a break; when you’re titling your blog about islands playing “Survivor”, there’s not much choice but to go for representatives of various nations in the game.

There’s no way for me to dig myself out of this one, is there? Let’s just get to the episode.

So, we get back to camp, and as you’d imagine, Aubry and Tai are overjoyed at their blindside, Tai once again reaffirming how he hated being shut out by Scot and Jason. The pair in particular take much time congratulating each other on a blindside well put-together, and frankly, the adorable factor here is just too much to bear. Let’s get a splash of cold water to bring us back to the game, shall we?

Ah yes, Tai is talking about how he’s now worried about being a threat, given his idol and advantage and his likability. This is a perfect segway to Jason, who’s clearly pissed off, but holding it in fairly well. Granted, it’s pretty clear to everyone watching that he’s incredibly pissed off, but he’s mainly congratulating people on a job well done, and NOT sabotaging the camp as I feared he might. No, he instead takes the smart route of highlighting how big a threat Tai is to everyone in the immediate vicinity. In particular, he highlights this to Cydney, who seems open to the idea of getting out Tai. She admits she’ll swing wherever she needs to to make it to the end, nicely setting up our misdirection for the episode.

The next morning, Tai becomes determined to prove how nice of a guy he is. And to make sure that he has as few bitter jurors as possible. In either case, he goes up to Jason, and tries to explain his reasoning for betraying Scot, pointing to how tight he and Jason were as being too big of a threat. Not a terrible apology, but as Jason says, it’s a bit half-assed. To make matters worse, Tai says that there was the possibility that Scot and Jason weren’t going to snake him at some point. We know they were planning on it, but it makes Tai seem like a paranoid player, which is not a good way to come off. Jason, once again, is able to keep his temper, though he still makes vague threats against Tai’s game, noting that “You can make all the right moves and still lose.” That’s one thing I really like about this season: You can tell what everyone’s really saying, but it’s hidden under a lot of politeness. Teeth-clenched politeness, you might say. It makes most of the interactions really fun to watch.

Also, I should point out one negative point for the alliance of Aubry, Cydney, Joe, and Tai: They tend to exclude the other three, particularly Jason. Not to say that they should bring him in on all their conversations or anything, but they really separate themselves a lot early in the episode, almost lording it over everyone else that they’re in the majority. They do get better later on, and I am exaggerating a fair amount, but still, watch it you guys.

After another “Jason is determined” confessional (which there are so many of tonight that I’m not going to go into detail on any of them, and merely mention their existence), we get to our reward challenge, which I am very unenthused about. Divided into two teams of three, players make their way across an obstacle course collecting rings, which they must then throw onto a hook to win a picnic away from camp. As boring and generic as they come, and yet another team reward challenge post-merge, so you can guess that I’m not happy. Add onto that a random division of teams rather than a schoolyard pick, and you can guess why it is that I’m not happy. I mean, come on, after the drama that ensued by the pick two episodes ago, you just drop it here? LAME!

Our teams come out as Joe and Tai, Julia and Aubry, and Michele and Cydney. If there’s one silver lining to this challenge, it’s that Jason sits out, which is just hilarious icing on the cake. To add insult to injury for the guy, not only is he on the bottom with no seeable way out, but now he doesn’t even get to COMPETE in the reward challenge. Man, that’s really harsh.

While the challenge itself is close, one team is clearly the favorites to win it, given that it’s entirely physical ability. Sure enough, Michele and Cydney are the victors, also earning them the right to take along one other person, including Jason. The “twist”, such as it is, is that they have to agree on who to take. Sadly, this amounts to very little, as the pair quickly agree on Aubry to go, stating that she’s the only person left who hasn’t been on reward yet, which makes sense. Michele, however, admits that there’s an ulterior motive here. While she and Julia are tight, she sees the way the wind is blowing, and wants to become tighter with the dominant alliance. Very good play there, Michele.

We get our usual squealing from Aubry, Cydney, and Michele as we head off to the picnic, though oddly interrupted at one point by an impromptu chicken dance. Ok…

Fortunately, the exclaiming over the reward doesn’t overstay its welcome, and Michele breaches the idea of working with Aubry and Cydney down the line. Both admit that they trust her, since she’s never voted any way other than how she said she would, which is about as good evidence as any. Granted, Michele is probably more strategic than either give her credit for, but that’s because Michele actually has a very subtle game going for her. It’s there, but you really have to be seeing her confessionals to see it. If she’s good at Final Tribal Council, she could steal a stealth victory, depending on who she’s with. Once Michele has left, Aubry and Cydney get to talking, agreeing that they want to work with Michele. This, then, leads into the subject of whether or not tai should be voted out. In yet another instance of agreement, both say they don’t want to go up against Tai in the end. There is a slight difference between them, as they debate when to go for Tai. Cydney seems gung-ho on doing it now, but Aubry wants to be sure it’s the right time. Still, good strategizing for all. Isn’t this just a happy season?

As to which philosophy of when to get out Tai is correct, well, that depends on Michele. Basically, the idea here is to replace Tai in the alliance with Michele, thereby keeping the numbers but getting rid of the bigger threat overall. The trouble is that Michele also has ties with Julia, who has ties with Jason, and flipping now might give them the power they need to run to the finals. So, the question then becomes, is Michele loyal? If she is, then Tai is the perfect target tonight. He’ll never see it coming, and it reduces the unknowns of his idol and advantage in the game. Plus, as I’ve said before, major jury threat. However, if Michele is still loyal to Julia, then it’s best to stick with Tai at least one more vote, to ensure your numbers. Therefore, right now it’s in Aubry and Cydney’s best interests to get rid of Tai this episode. Though, just like last episode, remember the “right now” part, since, again like last episode, it changes.

Unsurprisingly, similar discussions are being had back at camp, between Jason and Julia. After another “Jason is determined.” confessional, he and Julia discuss their battle strategy, coming to the conclusion that Tai needs to be targeted. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot for them to do, since there’s no one there to strategize with. Tai’s the person they want to target, so no sense talking to him, and Joe… Well, do you honestly think Joe has had an independent thought yet in this game? In the meantime, Julia and Jason settle for fantasizing about killing Mark the chicken after Tai leaves. BLASPHEMY! NO ONE DISPRESPECTS MARK THE CHICKEN!

So yeah, nothing happens until Cydney gets back, where they once again pitch getting rid of Tai to her, and Cydney admits she’s considering it, blah, blah, blah, heard it before!

For once, going off to our immunity challenge is not a bad thing! While technically a combination repeat, this challenge is really interesting and sadistic! Each contestant runs out into the water, crosses over an obstacle, and then ends up in front of a giant wooden octagon. On said octagon, there are many animal-number pairs with no rhyme or reason. Memorize as many as you can, and head back. Once back you use five specific animals symbols unique to everyone’s board (and they’re presumably not allowed to look at their board before heading out, adding to the difficulty) to figure out how to turn a large wheel with keys on it. When a key is found, see if it’s right. If so, it will open a chest of puzzle letters, which should ultimately spell “Blindsided”. first person to get the correct word wins. This challenge most resembles the memorization challenge seen at the final six of “Survivor Tocantins”, and memorably won by Stephen Fishbach due to his memorizing all the symbols in one go, though it also contains the “spin the wheel to find the right key” element first seen on “Survivor Exile Island”. This challenge is interesting in that it has both a difficulty increase and a difficulty decrease from the “Survivor Tocantins” version. The obstacle in this challenge is relatively simple, just basically an A-Frame with rungs out in the ocean. Conversely, the “Survivor Tocantins” version had a number of difficult obstacles to get through before getting to the memorization part. On the other hand, the memorization aspect on the “Survivor Tocantins” version was much easier. There were only four distinct symbols, and they could easily be memorized like a phone number (which is how Stephen eventually won it). Here, there’s a lot more to memorize, as well as the fact that, by not needing every symbol for your board, you could more easily take in misinformation and make mistakes. It would be pretty difficult to memorize all of them in one go, making it all the more impressive that not one but TWO separate people manage it! Both Michele and Julia manage it all in one go, with Michele edging out Julia on the word puzzle for the win. Still, I give credit to both of them. If I may flatter myself for a moment, I think I’ve got a pretty amazing memory, and even being fully hydrated and fed, I’m not sure I could have memorized everything in one go. I bow in humble awe, you memorization masters!

Oh, and Joe pretty nearly gets lapped this competition, and gives up after one go-around. Not since Scout Cloud Lee (“Survivor Vanuatu”) have we seen this level of competition.

Naturally, we lead out with another “Jason is determined” confessional since he’s the one who really needed immunity. Michele was never a target this episode, and while her victory was impressive, it doesn’t really impact the outcome of the episode in any manner. After the usual congratulations for Michele, she and everyone who’s not Julia or Jason go off and confer about who to vote out. Unsurprisingly, they quickly realize that, while perhaps a challenge threat, voting out Jason, the guy most of the jury can’t stand, is probably not the smartest idea. Naturally, the target then falls on Julia, who’s admittedly also a fair choice. For the safety of the overall alliance, you want either Julia or Jason gone, and while Jason might be a bigger challenge threat, Julia is probably a bit more wily than he is. Plus, although it’s never stated, I feel like there’s incentive for Aubry and Cydney, as the heads of this alliance, to want Julia gone over Jason. As I said earlier, the main concern right now should be how loyal Michele is to their alliance, since that dictates how tonight ought to be played. What’s testing Michele’s loyalty right now is Julia. With her out, Michele pretty much has no choice but your side. Her closest ally is gone, so who would she team up with? In that vein, it DOES make sense to target Julia over Jason.

And, sure enough, Michele’s loyalties are conflicted. She has no loyalty to Jason, but with the vote switch, she’d much rather get out Tai than Julia. And this becomes the point where it’s best for Cydney to get rid of Julia rather than Tai (it’s also the best move for Aubry, but since she’s not the swing vote tonight, I’ll leave her out of this one). While Michele is undeniably a better ally than Tai, since she’s less of a threat in the end and has not idols/advantages, you need her firmly on your side. This shows that, with Julia still there, Michele is not going to be loyal to Cydney. For the sake of argument, let’s say that Cydney did decide to go for Tai with the other three. True, she probably makes the final four in that scenario, since she, Michele, Julia, and Jason all team up and get rid of Aubry and Joe, especially after how the latter get outed as a tight pair at tonights Tribal Council. But then, with Michele and Julia being tight, and Jason being considered cannon fodder, as well as out for revenge, who do you think goes in that scenario? By sticking with her original alliance, Cydney keeps herself in a power position, making it much more likely she’ll get to the final three. Granted, if there’s a final two this season (which I suspect there will be), Cydney’s screwed either way, but just in case there’s a final three, better to get rid of Julia and ensure Michele’s loyalty.

Not to say that Michele and Julia don’t give Cydney a hell of a sales pitch. This episode really is where the pair of them shine. Heck, it even continues into Tribal Council, with Jason getting in on the action. Pretty much every word out of their mouths is encouraging the alliance to turn on itself and make a move to better themselves. There were two arguments I particularly liked here. First, when asked who she thinks is on the bottom, Julia lists off Michele (understandably so), but also lists off Cydney. Now, we as the audience can tell that this isn’t true, but it’s a subtle, brilliant play to try and get Cydney to move. Imply that she’s on the bottom in a casual way like that, and it seems much more likely to be the truth. The other point was a new argument that came out at Tribal Council, when Jason, after Tai’s repeats his stance on the tightness of Scot and Jason, points out that Aubry and Joe are an even tighter twosome, and therefore just as much of a threat. Actually a pretty good argument. Why didn’t you use that one sooner, Jason.

While this Tribal Council lacks in laughs overall, it’s still a really great one to watch. Seriously, if you want a textbook example of how to fight to the bitter end on “Survivor”, watch what Jason and Julia do. I highlighted their best arguments here, but they went pretty much nonstop, and gave us a lot of good material here. If I had a hat, I would doff it to them.

Once again, this episode does a good job of keeping the mystery of the vote alive. We’ve seen evidence for both Tai and Julia going home, and the implied Tai boot edit has been overstated, while Julia’s is perhaps understated, plus the possibility of Tai playing his idol. All is possibility as we get the one funny bit of Tribal Council, when Aubry writes Julia’s name down and comments that she won’t cross it out this time around. And oh, they milk the mystery for all it’s worth. Tai and Aubry have a conversation about whether Tai should use the idol or not. Aubry thinks he’s safe, but still leaves the agency with him, telling him to follow his gut. Frankly, given the Tribal Council I’ve witnessed, I’d have played it if I were Tai.

It looks like he’s going to, it looks like he’s going to… and he doesn’t! Wow, that takes a lot of guts on Tai’s part!

It’s nice to see people making the smart decisions on “Survivor” for a change. Cydney sticks with the Julia vote, and Michele even shows loyalty by tearfully writing down her ally’s name. Excellent work there, Michele! Yes, Julia goes home, and I can’t say I’m too sorry. As a character, she was pretty bland, and we’d kind of seen all she had in the way of unsubtle strategy. To her credit, though, I think I’ve been a bit hard on her these past few blogs. True, her strategy had all the subtlety of Abi-Maria Gomes (“Survivor Philippines”), but she was always playing, always fighting up until the last possible moment. She did everything she could think to do to stay in the game, and that always deserves praise in my book.

Actually, this all wound up being a pretty good episode, which is saying a lot. For an episode where the majority alliance stuck together and voted out one of the minority, there was a lot to like here. The suspense of who would go was really kept alive well, and despite some repetitive scenes, we got a really good look into the inner workings of individual strategies, and still had a lot of fun. Man, if this is how they do potentially boring episodes, it’s no wonder that the interesting episodes are spectacular. Let us hope that this trend doesn’t die out near the end!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 10: The “Survivor” Holiday Special

Ok, I’m not one to promote “Survivor” conspiracy theories. I won’t go so far as to say that the show is as purely “real” as we’ve been led to believe, but I don’t buy anything about the locations being faked, or the outcome being fixed beyond producer “suggestions”. But I’m putting my foot down here. They knew. THEY KNEW! They had it all figured out, realized this set of challenges would be in a episode that aired April 20th, and made SURE that every challenge involved pots. Well played, “Survivor”.

No, this will not be a blog done in the style of me being “high”. I’ve never been high, nor do I particularly care for this “holiday”. I just can’t resist low-hanging fruit like this. What I DO care about is “Survivor”, so let’s get started!

So we get back to camp, and Joe is rightfully pissed off at being left out, as well as his closest ally Debbie going home, and is therefore thinking about… No, wait, sorry, I was channeling the universe where Joe actually wanted to CONTRIBUTE to the game! No, instead we get Jason, Scot, and Tai gloating over their victory at the previous Tribal Council, which, since they do it by themselves, I really can’t begrudge them that much. What I DO begrudge them, however, is the idea that their “psychological warfare” was their salvation. Guys, the best it did was piss off Debbie, who’s now gone. It was your IDOLS, and the fear thereof, that saved you.

Speaking of idols, Tai takes this time to return Jason’s idol to him, which I’m a bit disappointed about. Not to say that Tai SHOULDN’T have returned that idol to Jason, but in this case, having two idols is very much better than having just one, and unless he asks for it back, you could pull the “There was no need, since it’s the super idol.” gambit.

Oh, and their one disappointment? That it was Debbie, and not Cydney, who went home. Truly, Cydney’s flop on them was a great move! Geez, it really seems to go back and forth whether or not this was a good move for her, doesn’t it? The first week, she was giving up a safe spot. Last week, it seemed like she’d gotten herself in a swing vote position. Now, while she’s still in power, we can see that she’s irredeemably pissed off Scot and Jason, thereby meaning that’s at least two jury votes she’s lost, with the possibility of those two influencing others on the jury. I get that to win “Survivor”, you need to build your resume, but that doesn’t mean that the practice of voting AGAINST the person you don’t like has gone away. It’s still something to consider, and right now, it looks like it may come back for Cydney.

Dawn at Dara, and Tai’s conscience once again rears up. He asks Scot if, now they’ve made it through one Tribal Council they shouldn’t have, if they can ease up on the sabotage. in a surprisingly mature move, Scot agrees, admitting that he doesn’t want to play like Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”). This earns him one iota of respect from me. Scot won’t stop for free, though. Needing a fifth person on his side, he elects to talk to Aubry about wanting her to come with him, couching his tactics as a result of his frustration at providing for the tribe being worth nothing. A very diplomatic play. Aubry returns the diplomacy by being polite back to Scot, but remaining fairly noncommittal. Fortunately, Aubry is a smart cookie, and sees through what’s said on the surface to realize that Scot is effectively engaging in blackmail. Unsurprisingly, this makes Aubry want him and/or Jason gone, but in the short term, all seems well at camp. Certainly there’s no sabotage, so I’d call that a net gain. Some would argue that it would actually be in Aubry’s best interest to KEEP the sabotage going, providing a disincentive to people to join up with them, but I’d argue that, first of all, that damage is already done, and secondly, when the game is more predictable, it’s easier to influence. Eliminating a chaotic element that you yourself are not generating is good in this regard.

On to the reward challenge, which is not interesting in and of itself. It’s the “Balance the Pot on a Log with your Leg” challenge, first seen as a redemption duel on “Survivor Redemption Island”. A decent endurance challenge, but never one of the most exciting. Oh, but THIS time it’s different! Now you have TWO pots stacked instead of ONE! Oh, the humanity! In all seriousness, I’ll admit that this probably does increase the difficulty of the challenge somewhat, but it still doesn’t change the fact that the challenge itself is kind of underwhelming.

Fortunately, what the challenge itself lacks in interest, it gets made up for in the twist with the challenge. Yes, we’ve seen choices of reward on the tribal level before, but, for the first time, we’re getting a reward choice (outside of an auction) in an INDIVIDUAL challenge! What’s more, it’s not a case of “Winner gets their pick.” Oh no, it’s not NEARLY that simple. Before the challenge, every individual picks what they’re playing for (food, letters from home, or an advantage in the game). Then, they compete ONLY to beat the other people who selected the same reward as they did. If I wasn’t being abundantly clear, I LOVE this twist to death. It elevates the game, reveals some Tribal Dynamics, and feels very fitting for “Survivor”. Above all, though, it’s a complex and many-layered twist. Probst himself, in a really good moment tonight, puts it the most clearly, pointing out that in choosing what reward to pick, you have to balance what you need versus what you think other people will want versus who you think you can beat. It’s not an easy decision for anybody, and that’s what’s great.

Well, I say it’s not an easy decision for anybody, but that’s not true. It’s an easy decision for Scot and Jason. Contrary to what they keep insisting on, Scot and Jason are still in trouble, and need to compete for the advantage, so naturally… No, wait, that’s what they’d do if they were SMART! No, instead they opt to compete for the food against Michele. It’s a battle between Julia and Joe for the letter from home, leaving Aubry, Cydney, and Tai to compete for the advantage. Clearly, this shows us who has their head in the game.

Unsurprisingly, since she’s up against Joe, Julia wins her letters from home. The other two are a bit more of a contest, though Michele ends up pulling victory fairly quickly from Scot and Jason. I would say I’m surprised, but history has shown us that endurance challenges tend to favor women, so it’s not too big of a deal. The real war, though, is the fight for the advantage, which unsurprisingly takes the longest. Cydney ends up dropping out first, leading to a sweet duel between Aubry and Tai. Evidently realizing the “Seeing how long I can go” tactic worked for Tai two episodes ago, Aubry tries to utilize it herself. Unfortunately, Buddha favors Tai, and so he summons a gust of wind to undo Aubry, leading Tai to win reward, and for Scot to comment on how good it is for his alliance that that happened, and how they’re now unstoppable.

Goodbye, Scot, we knew too much of ye!

After a bit of well-deserved bragging from Michele about beating the two burly guys, we get to see what Tai’s advantage is. Sadly, unlike the twist at the reward challenge, it’s not innovative and new, but instead the “extra vote” twist won by Dan Foley on “Survivor Worlds Apart”. I feel pretty much the same about it now as I did then: not a terrible idea, but too easy to overcome, so not as exciting. Still, perhaps it’ll actually make a DIFFERENCE this time around.

Oh, and we also get Julia gushing over her letters from home. It’s nice in and of itself, but then she has to use to talk about how badass and tough she is, which, given what we’ve seen, is really not the truth here. Perhaps I’m being harsh here. After all, it’s important to remember that on “Survivor”, everyone is the protagonist of their own story. In Julia’s mind, she really HAS been a major driving force this season. We, as the audience, see something different. As it stands, though, to us it comes across as a little bit flat and forced. The bits that are purely emotional are sweet, though.

Not to say, of course, that Julia doesn’t TRY and earn that badass title she thinks she has. Walking with Michele and Aubry, she admits that she’s worried about idols, and wants them gone. As a result, she comes up with a plan pile all the votes on Tai, figuring that either he’ll go out with an idol in his pocket, or he’ll play it, Cydney will go, and they’ll still be in power. Actually a pretty good plan. It flushes the idol, keeps Julia’s potential flip allies in check, and it has plusses for Michele and Aubry, making them more likely to go along with it. Why would Michele and Aubry be inclined to go for Tai over Jason and Scot? Well, it’s a bit of a stretch, but they don’t know how the super idol works, and they didn’t SEE Tai give Jason back his half, so theoretically he’s the only one they know has an idol, making him an ideal target. Michele buys the whole thing hook, line, and sinker, and even Aubry admits that it’s definitely a good plan on Julia’s part. Aubry isn’t fully on board, though, mostly owing to still being on the Anti-Julia warpath. Watch out Aubry! You’re getting dangerously close to Stephen Fishbach’s “Joe Vote” level of determination from “Survivor Cambodia”!

So, if she’s really Anti-Julia, what’s Aubry to do? Join up with Scot, Jason, and Tai? Of course not! She’d move from a position of much power to a position of no power, and would still have to work with Julia in any case. No, Aubry instead tries to flip the script entirely, by buddying up with Tai. In a smart move, compared to Scot and Jason’s strongarming, Aubry is very low key, philosophizing about the game with Tai, and throwing out the offer that she’s a free agent who’s willing to work with him. What she means is that she wants Tai on her side, but Tai reads it as her volunteering to work with himself, Jason, and Scot. Intrigued, and friendly with Aubry, Tai goes to Jason and Scot, and proposes the idea of Aubry working with them. Scot responds by suggesting they vote Aubry out. What great people skills this pair has!

Actually, like with Julia, this is another area where I can’t actually give these two a hard time. Not to say that the way they phrased things to Tai was a good move, but there was a cut between Tai’s comment and Scot’s response, implying that there might have been other conversation between the two that may have been politer. Unlike, say, Nick’s conversation with Michele in episode 6, which was one clear, solid take of him disrespecting her, this may be a case of manipulative editing. Plus, to be fair, the move makes sense. Targeting Cydney is a pure revenge move, they’ve admitted that. Aubry, however, is emerging more and more as the real brains behind the majority alliance, and, as we’ve seen this episode, a bit of a challenge threat. She’s the smart person to target at this point. Plus, as they’ve noted, they’ve been so vocal about targeting Cydney that the opposition would never see it coming. Good logic, all around! Just maybe don’t be so unilateral about it.

Sure enough, Tai is upset about Scot and Jason not including him in their decisions so much, and debates leaving. While I get that it’s upsetting for Tai, at this point, the smart move is for him to stick with Scot and Jason. He’s pretty much guaranteed a final 3 spot against two guys who don’t look the best in front of a jury, and there’s the benefit of the super idol. Note, however, that I say his best move is to stay with Scot and Jason FOR NOW. That will change.

It’s time for the immunity challenge. They wanted to do the “Hold bars vertically against a plank.” challenge from “Survivor Gabon”, but realizing it wouldn’t fit with the holiday theme, they turned it 90 degrees and made it so that you were holding disks with pots attached to them instead. Not a bad twist, and more original that most of the challenges we’ve been seeing post-merge. Still, I feel like we can do better.

For all the lack of originality, DAMN if this isn’t a fun challenge. Unlike a lot of other endurance challenges we’ve had this season, we get a lot of good reactions and facial expressions this time around. I think there are two stand-outs, though, even amongst this cast. The first is Tai’s look when his left hand starts slipping. His head just SNAPS to the left, as if he’s saying “What are you doing? Stop that!” like some sort of drill sergeant. It’s pretty hilarious. Also, for whatever reason, this is one endurance challenge that Tai doesn’t do well at. Odd. The other great moment has to be when we get down to our final two combatants. Good versus evil. One alliance versus another. Aubry versus Jason. Jason, uncultured as he is, spits. This would be disgusting, but then Aubry decides to return the favor. Not to say that the “disgusting” factor goes away, but it is hilarious to see petit, likable Aubry copy move for move the behavior of a ruffian like Jason.

Sadly, good does not always win on “Survivor”, and despite seeming strong for most of the challenge, Aubry falls, leaving Jason to have his victory. Hearty congratulations are in order for the both of them, though in Aubry’s case they’re tinged with “Oh, sorry, you’re going home!”

With everything seemingly set in place, Julia comes over to inform the guys of the plan to vote for Tai. She encourages them to use the super idol on Tai, thereby transparently showing how what she really wants is the idol gone, but her two new allies still in the game. Ok, I think people have been a little harsh about how un-subtle Julia is, but this is one time where I will agree with the consensus. It’s so clear what Julia’s trying to do here, it’s not even funny. Scot and Jason agree with her plan, and give her assurances that, since they can’t beat Tai in the end, that as long as she complies with them, she’s final three.

And this, my friends, is the moment where it becomes the right move for Tai to flip. Super-idol aside, the main advantage of Tai sticking with Scot and Jason was a guaranteed final three spot, and therefore a likely win. With that option now off the table, even if it’s unlikely that Aubry and Cydney’s alliance will let him near the end either, the odds are still better with them, especially since he’ll have a lot more decision making power there than with Scot and Jason. Granted, having the possibility of a super-idol still makes them a semi-appealing prospect, but between his own idol and his advantage, Tai can probably make it at least a vote or two past when the other alliance would vote for him.

Aubry and Cydney talk it over, and decide Scot and Jason need to be split up. Naturally, this means switching the vote to Scot, since Jason has immunity. Plus, Scot annoys them. The tricky part is getting the votes. Julia can’t be trusted, and right now Michele’s with her, so they’re out. Joe can probably be persuaded to vote for Scot, but that’s still only three. Ergo, Aubry gets to work on Tai, trying to persuade him to vote for Scot. It’s worth noting the stark difference in how Aubry handles Tai to how Scot and Jason handle Tai. Aubry never actually throws a name out, instead simply telling Tai that he can make a move and he has three other people behind him. This gives Tai at least the feeling of agency (given how the vote ultimately goes for Scot, I’m guessing that the pair later came together and agreed on that target), and comes across well socially to him. Compare this to Scot and Jason basically telling him how to vote. It may not be the smart move from Tai’s perspective, since as far as we know he doesn’t know about Julia being promised final three, but it’s easy to see why it’s an appealing prospect for Tai.

Before we leave for Tribal Council, though, let us take a minute to note that, since he’s immune, Jason gives Scot his hidden immunity idol for safekeeping. Remember this. It will be the icing on the cake later.

Even though the editing dictates that Scot will go home, logic dictates that Aubry’s number is up. That’s a large part of why this episode is awesome, and also a large part of why this Tribal Council is awesome! Seriously, this may very well be the best Tribal Council of the season. Everyone is on point with their comments. From Michele talking about how balsy Jason and Scot’s idol move is, to Julia talking about shifting dynamics, to Aubry’s “deranged llama” comment with regards to the immunity challenge, this one was a blast. Oh but don’t think there weren’t good moments of strategy insight either. Aubry, when asked about what she thinks Jason and Scot are doing, says she’s run up against a wall with them, and can’t know what they’re doing. Scot jumps in here, pointing out that they offered her a chance to be in on the plan, and she was noncommittal. Yet another demonstration of the way Scot and Jason play, since Jason then backs him up. they bully and strong-arm people who dare go against them. And it doesn’t sit well with Tai. You can tell by the look on his face during the whole thing.

Ah, but perhaps the most telling comment of the night comes to us courtesy of Jason. Further elaborating on the “Aubry should have gone with us.” tack, he talks about how the momentum of the game has shifted, and you either need to jump on his train or get left behind. Actually, a pretty good metaphor in this case. Narrative and momentum are both important on “Survivor”, and at this point, individual survival is key. You want to win, but at the very least, you want to make it as far as possible. This means going with the flow. However, that flow might lead to someone else’s victory. In this case, Jason is setting up a narrative of “Go with us or perish.”, a narrative that could very easily get him to the end.

So what do you do? You change the narrative. And that’s exactly what Aubry has done tonight. If she hasn’t cemented her place in with the “Survivor” greats by now, this episode should do it. Rather than try to figure out a way around the Jason, Scot, and Tai threesome like everybody else, Aubry decided to flip the script entirely, take a known from their side, and convert him. It’s brilliant, masterful gameplay, and it makes me love Aubry all the more.

And it works! Yes, I haven’t been too subtle about it, but Scot gets voted for by Tai, and then Tai refuses him the super idol. Actually, props to the editing team on that one; they really upped the tension here of whether or not Tai would use his idol for Scot. Incidentally, I’ve been a fair-weather fan of the super idl, but I’d say this episode made it worth it. The drama from that one moment alone was worth the possibility of a super idol getting played at some point. Scot goes home and I am not sorry at all! While he had a few tender moments, Scot was by and large a bully whom I didn’t like watching, and we’d already seen what we needed from his character. Plus, after his treatment of Tai this episode, his eviction felt deserved.

Just to be abundantly clear, this was an EXCELLENT move on all parts. As I said, Tai has more agency with this new alliance, and as Scot and Jason had kicked him out of the finals anyway, most incentives to stay with them are gone. As for Aubry, Cydney, and Joe, they gain another potential ally, save a founding member from elimination, and regain power over the vote. All around, a gain for them, but especially Aubry. And, to top it all off, the hidden immunity idol is now gone! Scot never played it, and had to take it out of the game with him, eliminating another major threat to their alliance. They can’t have planned it that way, but it’s still a plus! It just occurred to me: that means that Jason winning immunity was arguably the BETTER outcome than Aubry winning immunity. Had Aubry won, I doubt Jason would have given his idol to Scot, and unless the vote would have gone for Jason instead, the idol would still be in the game, making things harder for the alliance. So, excellent loss, Aubry!

In case it wasn’t obvious, this was a FANTASTIC episode! Lots of funny character moments, good misdirection, and excellent strategy from all corners! And what better way to end off a fantastic episode than with another…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

Yes, I think we’re well past due for another one of these. Tonight’s topic is a bit hard to put into words. The best way I can describe it is as a list of “persuasive arguments”. Rarely is flipping by itself just a case of numbers. There needs to be some passionate reason behind it, like tonight with Aubry convincing Tai to vote out Scot. They’re a staple of “Survivor”, and we’re going to be counting down the best and the worst of them. There are two limitations here. One, to make the “Top 5” the argument has to have actually worked, and actually flipped somebody. Anything goes on “Bottom 5”, but something can only really bet “Top 5” material if it works. Two, only one argument per season. With all that said, let’s get started with…

TOP 5

5. Aubry’s Social Prowess (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): Yes, let’s get the obvious choice for the list out of the way early. As I said earlier, Aubry’s persuasion of Tai was masterfully done, well deserving of a spot on this list. As I also said, though, it deprives us of any really stand-out quote or moment where she really got to Tai. In terms of gameplay, the perfect move, since what Tai seemed to want was autonomy in the alliance. In terms of viewership, however, the lack of one stand-out moment in this persuasion makes it pale in comparison to the other ones on this list. Still, well executed, and hardly a bad move at all.

4. Yul’s Super-Idol (“Survivor Cook Islands”): Ah, the moment that made “Survivor Cook Islands” what it was. If you remember anything from “Survivor Cook Islands”, except for the racial divide and the mutiny, it’s this moment here. The Aitu 4 were down in numbers come the merge, and things looked pretty bad. Fortunately, Yul Kwon was there to save him with his super-idol, as this was back int he day when ALL hidden immunity idols were super idols. Revealing it to Jonathan Penner, Yul effectively threatened Penner with eviction if he didn’t flip back over to join Aitu. Granted, that move was kind of a gimme which didn’t take much effort on Yul’s part, hence why it’s not higher on the list. What it lacks in effort, though, it makes up for in style. This is where Yul’s reputation as a “Survivor” “Godfather” got cemented, and the fact that it remains in the minds of the fans to this day makes it worthy of this list.

3. “If you could get rid of anyone, who would it be?” (“Survivor Cagayan”): Trish Hegarty is not really remembered amongst the players of “Survivor Cagayan”, and not unfairly so. Not to say that Trish was bad, just that she wasn’t as much of a character, and wasn’t really a strategic driving force overall, hence the focus on other characters. Still, she is not to be ignored entirely, and this one vote is her shining moment. With the new Solana alliance having lost Sarah to the new Appari alliance, it looked pretty bad for them as a whole. Then, however, Trish noticed that Sarah and Kass were not getting along very well. This led to her striking up a conversation with Kass in which she got Kass to admit that she’d like to see Sarah go. From there, Trish made a real 11th-hour play to switch the vote to Sarah, a move that ultimately saved her alliance and changed the course of the game, arguably even making Kass act against her own self-interest. It combines the prowess of Aubry’s move the memorableness of Yul’s move. Excellent work, Trish.

2. “Ace wants the idol.” (“Survivor Gabon”): No, I am NOT getting over my love for “Survivor Gabon”! My “Gaboner”, if you will. Granted, I will concede that the season starts out slow, and the first five or six episodes are nothing to write home about. But that back half, though! It’s got some amazing confessionals and strategy, and it all starts here, with Ken Hoang turning Sugar against her closest ally. With his allies turing on him, and Fang continually losing, Ken was in a bit of a spot here, quickly losing power on his tribe. What’s the solution? Why, turn the closest ally of your enemy, of course! Knowing that Sugar had the idol, Ken planted the thought in her head that Ace would ask her for the idol, since he was plotting against her. This was a bold-faced lie, but it was well-executed, and made all the more believable when Ace actually DID ask Sugar for the idol. Frankly, this move is reminiscent of Gollum’s actions in the movie version of “The Return of the King”, and that’s what makes in hilarious. That, and the mastery of this little guy turning the closest ally of his biggest enemy. Bravo, good sir!

1. “What’s your story?” (“Survivor Philippines”): I commented on it then, so it feels only right that I comment on it now. We once again get Jonathan Penner on the list, though this time in his third outing on the show. Penner, as seems to be the case with him, was down in numbers at the merge, and desperately trying to flip someone to his side. Since they both worked in show business, he opted to target Lisa Welchel. Not a bad idea in general, but it’s Penner’s brand of argument that seals the deal here. Rather than come at her from a numbers or a personality perspective, Penner takes the unique perspective of asking her how she wants the narrative of the game to unfold. Ok, maybe it’s a stretch to say that this mode of talking is UNIQUE to him, but at the time, it was the first of that type of argument that we’d seen, and it was fascinating to watch. A new take on strategy that is memorable and plays with the notions of the game? How could that not be number one?

Honorable Mention: “Jon is just, like, a girll!” (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): By my own rules, I can’t put this one on the list, since it didn’t work out as a flip. However, Sandra’s line here to Darrah about the physical prowess of Jonny Fairplay was too hilarious to not give a mention to. A very unique argument, to say the least!

BOTTOM 5

5. “The guys are sexist.” (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”): A bit of a cheat here, since morally speaking this is a perfectly legitimate reason to flip on one’s alliance. However, this list is largely about strategy, and guys being dicks to you is not enough to merit a flip back, Jaclyn. Granted, it could be argued that this was still a good move regardless, but the reasons behind it seem so lackluster on this season, that I can’t help but think badly of it. But oh, compared to what we’re GOING to be seeing on this list, it’s positively Vulcan!

4. Coach Taunts Sierra (“Survivor Tocantins”): If you want a textbook example of how NOT to persuade people to join your side, look no further than how Benjamin “Coach” Wade handles Sierra. After it was made clear that the old Jalapao were sticking together, Coach began to have second thoughts about going with them to the end. Naturally, this meant getting Sierra, someone he’d pretty much openly despised, on board with him. Sierra, a little bitter, asked that Coach admit how he’d treated her. Coach, rather than smartly aquiess to her demand, instead insisted that he’d done no such thing, and taunted her for it. To no one’s surprise, the old Timbira did not stick together for this vote. Yep, nothing more to say here except that this one was pretty bad.

3. “You take care of her, I’ll take care of you.” (“Survivor All-Stars”): Frankly, I’m still baffled this one worked. Sheer stupidity on the part of Lex Van Den Berghe earns this one a spot on this list. Lex had been working so damn hard to get his alliance at least half the tribe come the merge, and now he had a member of the enemy right in his hand. And he didn’t take the shot! Boston Rob’s supposed “favor” never came to pass, and Lex was rewarded as stupidity deserves. It was memorable, but only because of its ludicrousness.

2. Tyson Votes Himself Out (“Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”): Speaking of stupid moves, lets see a guy flip for literally NO REASON! Russell Hantz got into the head of Tyson Apostol that he could curry favor and power by changing his vote to Parvati, thereby undoing the split vote Boston Rob had planned out. Some creative idol play, and Tyson has effectively voted himself out! The manner in which Russell did it is unmemorable, hence why it doesn’t quite land on the top of this list, but stupidity of this caliber deserves at least some acknowledgement.

1. “12 Worry-Free Days” (“Survivor Exile Island”): I don’t really blame Terry Deitz for this one. Guy was trying to make the best of a bad situation, and didn’t have a whole lot of cards to play. But even considering that, this attempt at getting some of the old Casaya to flip was just a pathetic attempt. I can’t put it any better than Cirie did, so I’’ll just let her speak: “What does he have to offer me?”

Honorable Mention: “Please take this risk.” (“Survivor Vanuatu”): Probably one of the most memorable flips of “Survivor”, but also one of the least exciting in terms of argument. After being given the idea to flip Eliza by Twila and Scout, Chris went to go recruit her. No small feat, since Eliza didn’t like either Twila or Scout, and certainly the move is impressive in terms of results. But I don’t know, there’s just something lame about your signature line being “Please, take this risk.” Just doesn’t stand out as much as some others. What it does speak to is Chris’ social prowess, and for that alone, I can’t put this one on the list proper.

Well, there you have it. Great episode, great list, great blog (I hope)! This season has been excellent so far, and it shows no signs of slowing.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Episode 9: Freberg v. Nale

Ok, editing team, I’ve praised you for a lot this season, and doubtless I’ll praise you in the future, but you’re going off the rails here. It’s not that I DON’T want to see dynamic characters who are neither straight heroes nor villains, but you’re really starting to confuse me here. First, you make out that Jason and Scot are bullies. Then, you have them conquer adversity and find good alliances. THEN, you go out of your way to make us like them with children and mothers, but NOW you go and make them cocky assholes. I’m not saying someone portrayed as an asshole needs to stay that way the entire time, but at least TRY to make it a progression from one to the other, don’t flip-flop back and forth.

But now it’s time for me to flip-flop, specifically back to last episode. Yep, it’s time for another edition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Actually a very brief one this time. I made mention that this past episode’s reward was particularly harsh since it was delivered to camp, thereby really rubbing it in for everyone else. What I NEGLECTED to mention was that the group actually stayed very civil about the whole thing, and that one of the things that caused Michele’s turn was Jason hollering over to them to live it up a little. It was a nice gesture of them to do, and I’m on Michele’s side on this one. Pretty much as simple as that.

Just when you thought the days of getting straight to the point were gone, we get our sabotage scenes nearly right off the bat. Scot gives a token confessional about being blindsided, but to his credit, he’s actually pretty respectful, calling it a good move on their parts. About the worst thing he says is that the old To Tang alliance is dead, which is fair, and also brings up my point again about why this move was bad for Cydney. While it certainly helps build her a resume for the Final Tribal Council, it also most likely puts two people on the jury who now despise her. Because, as we see now and later in the episode, it’s her that Scot and Jason are particularly pissed at, which is never a good thing on “Survivor”.

The niceness is not to last, though. The pair get together with Tai and agree to sabotage the camp for daring to betray them. Stop getting food, hide the tools, things like that. What? You say that Jason feels that Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) is the guy who really knew how to play the game? I never would have guessed! Yes, the three are blatantly emulation the Russell Hantz game now, though Tai is admittedly reluctant in this regard. Their justification is that they need to create psychological tension in the alliance, so that cracks will form that they can use to save themselves. Now, in terms of pure logic, this strategy does make sense. Deprivation would cause tempers to rise, which would logically lead to the fracturing of alliances. Unfortunately for Scot, Jason, and Tai, this effect is counteracted by the fact that EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S THEM! The other times this strategy has been pulled off successfully, the perpetrator was able to hide their identity well enough to reap the benefits of tension without the cost of everyone blaming the saboteur. In Russell’s case, he did it so early and secretly that no one could guess that it was him. They had nine other people to blame, since no one was clearly on the outs. On “Survivor Pearl Islands”, Sandra was successfully able to push blame for throwing out fish onto her ally Christa, though admittedly this was more of a happy accident than actual skill on Sandra’s part. Still, the point being, when everyone knows it’s you, it makes you a target. No one likes a saboteur, so in reality, all you’re doing is painting targets on yourselves.

The three put their plan into action next morning, Scot and Jason spiriting away a hatchet and a machete while Joe tends the fire. To prove my point about why this is stupid, everybody correctly blames them for this maneuver, with even DEBBIE (who really goes off the rails this episode) correctly blaming them. They have no evidence to support this, but really, who else would it be? Still, our stalwart castaways are not to be deterred, and come up with a new way of opening coconuts, by throwing them in the fire and then hitting them with a saw. Why they don’t just saw through the coconut without doing the fire is beyond me, but it seems to work nicely. Cydney in particular can’t help commenting on their impressive outside-the-box thinking, and it irritates Scot, who thereby graduates from doing something REALLY stupid to something INCREDIBLY stupid. With the hiding of the things, you could argue that they were at least doing their sabotage at night, when no one could firmly blame the act on them. Now, however, Scot just goes and dumps (presumably fresh) water on the fire, in full view of everybody. Now, not only is there CLEAR evidence of who’s committing the sabotage, but it really doesn’t accomplish much in the way of psychological warfare. Unlike the machete and hatchet, a fire can be restarted, and water can be boiled again. All you do is make people hate you for inconveniencing them. Not even an arguable negative for this one. Following this, Scot and Jason talk about how they need to escalate their sabotage, which REALLY gets on Tai’s conscience, even asking the pari why they need to do what they do on that scale. Jason argues that they’re going to be voted out anyway, so why not do it? The answer, Jason, is that until your torch is snuffed, there’s not GUARANTEE that will happen. This episode is evidence enough of that. All you do by openly antagonizing them is making it MORE likely that they’ll vote you off, because now you’re a liability. Well done.

Off to the reward challenge, and for a change of pace, we get a COMBINATION of reused challenges instead of a single reused challenge. Divided into two teams of four, the members will have to untangle themselves from four sets of ropes and race back to start. Once unclipped, they must throw sand bags at bamboo chutes, knocking them off a platform. First team with all chutes knocked off wins Chinese food delivered to camp for them. I’m tired of the damn bamboo chute and sandbags thing! It’s been around, at least in wide concept, since “Survivor Philippines”, and while I get that’s it’s probably easy to make and set up, it’s a lame concept that’s never really worked as a “challenge”. The rope untwisting is pretty cool, though. Reminds me of the first part of the second immunity challenge from “Survivor South Pacific”.

In his pre-challenge banter, Probst brings out the division in the tribe, as evidenced by last Tribal Council, and it comes out that it’s Scot, Jason, and Tai versus the girls (and Joe). With that in mind, Probst offers them the opportunity to forgo the usual schoolyard-pick, and offers to let them divide themselves into even teams naturally. One person has to sit out, and Joe immediately volunteers. Fortunately, “Survivor Nicaragua” rears it’s head, though in a good way this time. After many seasons of being absent, the person left out of the reward challenge now gets to bet on a team to win, and shares in the reward if they bet correctly. I’ve always really liked this twist. It keeps the sit-out involved, albeit in a very tangential way, but it can also reveal where one’s loyalties truly lie. In this case, Joe isn’t an idiot, and sides with the women of his alliance. Good move, Joe.

However, since Scot, Jason, and Tai are only three, someone from the majority alliance has to go with them. After a brief pause, Julia volunteers as tribute. Unlike “The Hunger Games”, however, this doesn’t make her a little hero. Even though it seemed to me that she left plenty of time before volunteering, she still makes both Cydney and Aubry suspicious of her motives. And, sure enough, we hear from Julia that she volunteered on purpose, wanting to be close to Scot, Jason, and Tai to be a potential swing vote. A pretty good strategy for her in theory, but the problem is, everyone knows it. This is the sort of thing that needs to be played out subtly, behind everyone’s back. When people KNOW you’re the swing vote, it often makes you a target. More on that in a second.

You would think, with the first part of the challenge, that bulky people like Jason and Scot would be a detriment to their team. Surprisingly, though, their team gets through that portion with a slight lead over the others, and while a valiant effort is made by the other team on the sandbag portion, that foursome win the Chinese food reward. Once again it’s back at camp, but this time it seems a bit farther away. Far away, at least, for the four to talk strategy. Showing no subtlety whatsoever, Julia flat out admits that she’d like to work with the three, and once again opines that she’s the swing vote. Ok, she is in a private conversation with people she wants to gain trust with, but with how much people are saying that she’s untrustworthy as a swing vote, it feels like she’s doing it wrong. She DOES make a major error I can point to in a bit, but for now, she’s playing ok, but for the fact that everyone knows what she’s doing. It’s basically another Kelly Goldsmith (“Survivor Africa”) type situation. Julia clearly knows what she’s supposed to do, and doesn’t seem to be doing anything suspicious, but since people ARE so suspicious of her, it implies that she must be doing something wrong, even if I can’t pinpoint to exactly what it is.

As a side note, while I gave a hard time for the flip-flopping edits of Scot and Jason, Julia’s edit, such as it is, is an offender as well in this regard. We pretty much hear NOTHING from her until the swap. Then she gets a bit of screen time during episode six when it seems like she might be going, and she comes across as a pretty smart, determined young lady. Then she disappears again, and now we’re supposed to buy that she’s a naive flipper. Once again, editors, MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!

Sure enough, a meeting of the minds between Cydney and Aubry comes to the conclusion that Julia needs to be blindsided, preferably now. While I can see the logic, since she’s not being loyal, I can’t really get behind this move. Even if you can’t count Julia as a number, what’s important is that one of the four reward winners leaves. If you go with Julia rather than Scot, Tai, or Jason, you risk fracturing your alliance beyond repair. At this point, Scot, Jason, and Tai can be counted a solid threesome, and you’ve only had one vote to earn trust. A fracture now could be disastrous later on. Plus, you’ve got a super idol to flush. Stuck to their plan, though, Aubry approaches Debbie about said plan. Debbie, however, is too pissed about the sabotage, and thinks the vote ought to be split. Debbie, what happened? You seemed to have good strategic moments there, but now you’re stongarming people, not listening to sense, and just being rude and unstrategic! Bring back the old Debbie!

Oh, but Aubry, don’t think you’re getting off scott-free (or would that be Scot-free?) in this exchange either! While I do like you, and I sympathize with Debbie being unreasonable, accusing Debbie of “playing emotionally” is a bit hypocritical. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you want PETER gone at your first Tribal Council, because he annoyed you more than Liz? What do you call that?

To cement that he’s in with the threesome, Tai overcomes his conscience and pours some water on the fire during the night. It doesn’t cause much of a reaction from anyone, but since Tai was smart enough to wait until everyone was ASLEEP to do it, so it doesn’t reflect negatively on him, and I can’t complain too much. Our challenge, though, is another matter. A relic of “Survivor Gabon”, this challenge has people stacking blocks one at a time along a board, while having to avoid trip pipes that can knock over said blocks. First person to get their blocks to all knock over to the end wins immunity. Now, this is definitely a trick and exciting challenge that’s not TOO overused, so why am I upset? Because every time they do this challenge, they make it easier and easier. In its initial iteration, the trip ups were a net of ropes at odd angles, not a grid you had to step over. On top of that, the board you had to place the blocks on was hilly, not flat, and the blocks had odd-shaped bottoms, making it a puzzle to figure out where they went. Now? It’s basically a game of dominoes with a precision component thrown in. LAME!

At the very least, this challenge gives us a lot of good back and forth, plus a great tracking shot following the ultimate winner’s stack of blocks all the way to the end. Incidentally, Julia wins. Aubry is upset, to say the least.

To make matters worse, when everyone gets back to camp, the women’s alliance (and Joe) convene to decide how to do the votes, since Julia’s immune. Debbie, coming to the conclusion that the sabotage on Jason’s end means he’s trying to attract votes, suggests they split between Scot and Tai, as a move they’ll never see coming. Not a bad plan, all things considered. It even counters the super idol, since it could only make either Scot or Tai immune, leaving it up to the one of them who didn’t get it. However, Debbie spills the beans RIGHT IN FRONT OF JULIA! Understandable, since Debbie’s been the steadfast defender of Julia in the alliance, but bad because Julia’s playing both sides. Accordingly, Julia spills the beans to Scot and Jason, no questions asked. And, here’s where the criticism of Julia comes in. While it’s one thing to play the swing vote, giving up vital information so easily, especially when you’re not sure if anyone else would come with you, is risky. Julia needed to firm up things with her other potential flipper before making this move. True, as Scot says, the split vote means only Julia need flip for this vote, but even then, it’s still a 4-4 tie after tonight, and with the super idol gone, that’s no the best of situations. It’s one thing to play the swing vote, it’s another to do it badly.

With the old To Tang going for Cydney (told you she made herself a target), it looks to be a question of whether or not Julia will flip, meaning either Scot or Cydney is probably going. It seems, however, that the urge to make a move has bitten Aubry. Debbie’s lack of logic is getting to her, so she and Cydney concoct a plan to blindside Debbie. Oddly this is a better move for Cydney, but a horrible move for everyone else. Once again, like with Julia, it fractures an already fragile alliance, and in the case of Aubry and Joe, it loses them a valuable ally which basically guaranteed them final three. It’s good for Cydney because it puts her in the middle of two twosomes come final five, and because she’s a target tonight, so staying the course is not good. Apart form that, though, bad idea.

This might not be happening, though. Aubry is confident that Joe will be on her side, but she forgets that Joe’s goal this season is evidently to not be involved in any strategy whatsoever. He point blank refuses to vote for Debbie. Undeterred, Cydney goes to Julia, the defector, and tries to get her on board with the plan, a further risky maneuver. At least Julia doesn’t go off and tell Scot and Jason about this one, though.

At first, Tribal Council seems like a tense, but relatively cut-and-paste affair. But then, downfield, I do believe we have the Malcolm Freberg-Maneuver! Yes, yes, there are the idols out in the open. Ah, for those who don’t know, the Malcolm Freberg-Maneuver was invented on “Survivor Caramoan”. It works on the logic that, since hidden immunity idols theoretically save you only one vote, it is better to reveal that you have them at Tribal Council, throwing everyone else into chaos, and potentially taking votes off of you without playing said idols. While we’ve seen this done before, this does bring an air of uncertainty to Tribal Council, as well as a lot of whispering in ears. While a bit theatrical, the move is largely played well, except for one bit. With only two immunity idols to split between the three of them, and no individual immunity, Jason and Scot say they’ll do rock-paper-scissors to see who gets the idol. This should be the clue to everyone else that they aren’t actually planning to play said idols. No one would be THAT stupid to decide who gets an idol that way. Still, now it’s all the more reason not to blindside Debbie. The only counter to the Malcolm Freberg-Maneuver is to go with the “Keith Nale Defense” developed on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, and “Stick to the Plan.” This forces the idols to be played, removing their threat. Worst case scenario, you lose a member, and the idols are out of the game.

If I’ll give the editors credit for anything this episode, they DO do a good job of faking us out with regards to Scot and Jason. They actually do play for the idol, and for one moment, you think they may in fact be that stupid. But no, they give it to Tai as a super idol, to be played for any of them. Well guys, now’s your chance to flush it.

Sadly, as I’ve implied, the Malcolm Freberg-Maneuver is not performed. Debbie ends up going home, and Tai ends up with the super idol. Whether or not he’ll give it back remains to be seen, but that’s for next episode. For now, we mourn Debbie. I can’t say she didn’t EARN her exit. For all that I gave Aubry a hard time this episode for her dismissal of Debbie, and for all that I think it was ultimately the wrong move, I will concede that I understand the thinking. Debbie was being illogical, alienating people, and becoming more trouble than she was worth. She wasn’t playing well, and for that she deserves to go. For all that, I like Debbie, and am sad we don’t get more of her. She was crazy, in a Coach Wade (“Survivor Tocantins”) sort of way, but she didn’t have his hypocrisy, and played better overall. Debbie will be missed, and I look forward to seeing her on the jury/on future seasons.

One thing the move DOES do, though, is make me think better of Cydney’s flip last episode. It’s clear now that she’s the real power of this alliance, being the in with both Michele and Julia, and effectively co-calling the shots with Aubry. Much more power than she had in her old alliance. Plus, my main gripe with the move was that she went from a guaranteed final three to begin fourth at best against the old Chan Loh. With Debbie gone, she’s got more even odds in that alliance, and is therefore much more likely to make it to the final three, possibly against people she can beat. Perhaps this will work out for her after all.

While I am a bit annoyed that we had so much time on the Julia subplot when it amounted to nothing, this was still a pretty good episode. The misdirection wasn’t as good as it has been, but it was still good enough, and while the plotline of this episode was clearly broadcast from the get-go, it was still a roller-coaster ride of entertainment that I thoroughly enjoyed! I don’t want to get off, so you can be sure I’m looking forward to next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.