“Survivor” What-Ifs?: Samoa

Come on in, guys!  And welcome back to “Survivor What-Ifs”, where we make one little change in a given season of “Survivor”, to see how it impacts the rest of “Survivor” history.  And oh boy, what a season we have to consider today.  “Survivor Samoa” is arguably the most divisive season of the show, largely due to the fact that it could be more aptly titled “The Russell Hantz Show”.  “Survivor” is no stranger to having a “big character” of the season.  One could argue that Rupert took on a similar role for “Survivor Pearl Islands”, or Boston Rob in “Survivor Redemption Island” if we look to the future at this point.  

Samoa is a bit special, though, in that Russell takes up SO much screen time, he effectively pushes out anyone else who might want character bits or a story arc.  To put it in perspective, Russell has somewhere in the ballpark of four times the number of confessionals OF THE WINNER!  Yeah, dude was a bit of a screen hog, or just made into one by the editors.  Hence, the division.  If you, like a lot of the audience then and now, enjoyed Russell’s character on the show, having a season devoted to him was an interesting diversion, making for a distinctive season.  If you, like me, found Russell to be incredibly flawed as a player, and found that his schtick got old after about one episode, this season really has nothing else for you, and was at best a chore to get through.  So, let’s see if we can change that, shall we?  Can we make one little change that can make this season more palatable to everyone, Russell fans and Russell haters alike?  

Before we get into that, though, a couple of bits of business.  First, to give credit where credit is due, this particular idea for a “What-If?” did not come from me.  Instead, the inspiration came from YouTube channel “Once Upon An Island”, which does “Survivor”-related videos.  Recently, they did a history of people who got medically evacuated off the show, and if you remember “Survivor Samoa”, you can already see where this is going.  Still, since I wouldn’t have thought of this were it not for the video, I feel I need to acknowledge it here.  Moreover, though, be aware that this blog will contain SPOILERS, both for this season and future seasons, since we need to be reminded of our baseline before we talk about how a change would work.  Without further ado, though, let us change history.  

THE IMPACT

As you may have guessed from the lead-in, our change today concerns Russell.  No, not Russell Hantz, the OTHER Russell of this season, one Russell Swan.  Arguably the only character to actually get some note on the show other than the eponymous Hantz, Russell Swan was the leader of Galu, though perhaps most famous for his medical evacuation late in the pre-merge.  Possibly the most dramatic in the history of the show, Russell Swan worked himself through the rain to keep the camp orderly, but then just could not handle the challenge in this episode, leading to his scary collapse in the middle of doing a maze.  As a side note, this episode has a vivid personal memory for me.  I was in High School at the time, and well-known as the “Survivor” guy.  A girl in my theatre department had a family that was majorly into “Survivor”, but she herself had never watched it.  She was finally convinced to give it a try… In the episode where Russell Swan nearly dies.  Understandably, she was freaked out, and never watched the show again, for which I cannot blame her.  

Now, I initially would not have thought of a possible change for this scenario.  The only thing I could see being done to avoid it would be for Russell to not work in the rain, a change to his personality so drastic that it would violate my own rules for what makes an acceptable change to talk about.  The video mentioned above, however, reminded me of another, more plausible change.  I did not remember that Galu tried to get Russell to sit out, only for him to say that he was good to go, and they dropped the subject.  This is possibly because I try my hardest to forget that “Survivor Samoa” exists on a regular basis.  

But what if Galu didn’t drop the subject?  What if they insisted that they could tell Russell wasn’t doing well, and insist that he sit out such a low-stakes challenge.  Some may disagree, given his portrayal on “Survivor Philippines”, but I think Russell caves here.  The man could be stubborn, and could have a “my way or the highway” attitude, but he could back down in the face of a majority.  You’ll note that he had gone along with the plan to vote out Yasmin a few episodes before, in spite of the fact that he didn’t agree with the decision.  So the man clearly CAN give in to the will of his tribe.  In this timeline, the will of his tribe is that he sit out, and so he does.  

Going on with how it changes this episode, the winner of this challenge really is a moot point, since it was set to be a double Tribal Council prior to Russell’s collapse.  If you must know, though, I would guess that Foa Foa wins without Russell playing in the challenge.  With the possible exception of Dave Ball, none of the sit-outs would have made much of a difference, and Foa Foa did have a slight lead in the challenge even in our timeline.  With no medical evacuation, the Double Tribal Council takes place as planned.  As in our timeline, Foa Foa votes out Liz Kim, but Galu is a bit trickier, since in our timeline, we don’t get a lot of their internal tribe dynamics, due to only going to Tribal Council once.  That said, I think the best bet is that Shambo gets voted out at this juncture, if Tribal Council goes forward.  The tribe wasn’t overly fond of her already, she had already been to the Foa Foa camp and developed bonds there a couple of times at this point, plus she was the only person not to vote for Yasmin at Galu’s first Tribal Council.  

THE FALLOUT

So what happens now?  In the short term, Russell Swan gets better.  One major factor in his evacuation in our timeline was the fact that there were several straight days of bad weather in a row.  After the episode in our timeline where Russell collapses, the weather improves, thus allowing the rest of Galu to pick up the slack and let Russell get some rest.  So, in this timeline, Mike Borassi is the only medical casualty of “Survivor Samoa”.  Predicting the merge, however, is much tricker, largely due to an internal production decision that, as far as I know, we will never know the truth about.  You see, in our timeline, we had one more immunity challenge pre-merge.  However, it’s not clear if this decision was made due to the medical evacuation canceling the planned Double Tribal Council, or if this was always in the cards, and the merge was planned for the Final 11 instead of the Final 12.  Honestly, either one seems plausible to me, and there’s evidence for both options (the number of days played at this point make it seem like there was always another immunity challenge planned, but the odd number of players and start of the jury at Final 12 indicate a merge in the same episode).  

Ultimately, though, it probably doesn’t matter.  Even in the best-case scenario for Foa Foa, where the merge happens immediately after the Double Tribal Council, they’re still down 8-4.  Similar to out timeline, but now Russell Swan, rather than Shambo, is in the merge.  And that, dear readers, makes all the difference.  

The absence of Shambo, and the presence of Russell Swan, basically kills what little chance Foa Foa has of repeating the comeback they make in our timeline in this timeline.  There’s three major factors that lead to this conclusion.  Firstly, with no Shambo at the merge, there’s also no Shambo to flip to Foa Foa as soon as it hits.  Yes, even with Shamboo’s flip, Foa Foa was still down 7-5, but clever idol plays and a narrower majority put Galu in much more peril than they are in this timeline.  Second, there’s Russell Swan as a uniting factor.  The man has his flaws as a “leader”, there’s no doubt about it, but when it came to bringing the tribe together against a common enemy, the man knew how to do his job.  Look at how they devolved into infighting after his evacuation in our timeline.  A united Galu front, rather than a fractured one as we saw in our timeline, is hard to overcome.  It’s true that hidden immunity idols are a factor here, and for all of Russell Hantz’s many, MANY flaws in his game, the man is good at finding hidden immunity idols, which could give Foa Foa more of an edge.  That said, this feels like the sort of trick that only works once.  Maybe at the merge, Russell out-predicts Galu, and sends one of them home.  Galu doesn’t let that happen again, and pulls the “Edgardo Maneuver” from “Survivor Fiji”, voting for a member of Foa Foa no one expects, and Foa Foa is screwed once again.  

Really, though, the big factor is that this time, the votes are out of their system.  It’s an interesting pattern on “Survivor”, but for whatever reason, tribes that only attend one or fewer Tribal Councils tend to vote for one of their own immediately after the merge.  From Koror on “Survivor Palau” to Bayon on “Survivor Cambodia”, if you largely avoid Tribal Council pre-merge, you’re more than likely going to turn on one of your own come the merge.  Granted, this pattern is more prevalent in seasons with only two tribes, but as “Survivor Samoa” is one such season, the point stands.  Even in our timeline, despite losing two members, Galu only went to one Tribal Council, and they turned on each other at the merge.  The reasons for this pattern are varied, but I hypothesize that people get irritating, and all you think about is voting them off to the point where you jump the gun once you have the opportunity.  Galu going to just ONE MORE Tribal Council helps clear up those internal divisions, and unite the tribe.  From there it’s just a numbers game.  Barring someone from Foa Foa going on an immunity streak a la Brett in our timeline, or them playing their hidden immunity idols PERFECTLY, someone from Galu wins in this timeline.  The factors are too many to say who it would be with any degree of confidence, but that the winner is an original Galu, I can say with confidence.  

THE LEGACY

A Galu victory naturally changes the way the entire season of “Survivor Samoa” is edited.  Don’t misunderstand, Russell Hantz is still a big name, if only for his aptitude and finding hidden immunity idols without clues, before such things were common.  But without leading his tribe back from the brink to victory, Russell isn’t the only game in town.  He has to share screen time with a bunch of the Galus, so they get more character development.  A necessary change, as this season is untimely just a boring Pagonging in this timeline.  

Surprisingly, the season that probably changes the LEAST as a result of this new timeline is “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”.  Russell Hantz, despite not being as legendary in this timeline, still revolutionized the finding of idols, and had already talked about “Russell Seeds” and sabotaging his tribe before our timeline change.  We in our timeline might be inclined to say they bring back Russell Swan on the Heroes Tribe, since he saved Galu from collapsing.  However, remember that we only know that because of OUR timeline.  In this timeline, the destruction of Foa Foa seems inevitable, and while Russell is well-regarded, particularly in comparison to Mick on Foa Foa, he’s not legendary enough for such a season.  I’m sure he comes back at some point, just probably more in the area of a “Survivor Game Changers” than “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”.  The only possible change is that Russell Hantz is MAYBE more humble in this timeline with the knowledge that he definitively did NOT win his season, but I doubt it.  With the rivalry between himself and Boston Rob still intact, “Survivor Redemption Island” remains unchanged, along with the “Russell-proofing” of idols, and Russell’s impact on “Survivor” History as a whole.  

The cast makeups of some future seasons are hard to determine without knowing who the winner is, though I’d imagine we get more returnees from Samoa in general due to it no longer just being “The Russell Hantz Show”.  Some characters on Galu, like Erik and Dave, get more screen time, and I could see them or another member of Galu coming back on something like a “Survivor Game Changers”, or even “Survivor Caramoan”.  Monica, however, probably fares worse than she does in our timeline.  Without even the flimsy “She put fear into Russell Hantz” justification that she got in our timeline, I doubt Monica is up for “Survivor Cambodia”, or if she is, she’s not voted in.  Now, you might be inclined to replace her with another young, attractive woman from the show.  Someone like Baylor from “Survivor San Juan del Sur” could take her place.  However, I’ll go out on a limb and say that T-Bird from “Survivor Africa” gets on instead.  Yes, T-Bird is a completely different archetype, and was in the vote in our timeline and still lost, but so help me, I want T-Bird to return, and I’m still salty she didn’t win the vote in our timeline.  Just let me have this, ok?

Of course, no medical evacuation for Russell Swan makes him ineligible to return on “Survivor Philippines”, meaning he’s replaced with their original plan… *shudder* Colton Cumbie of “Survivor One World”.  Yeah, I don’t even have to go into the details of how that would change the season to know it’s a change for the worse.  

“Survivor Winners at War” is really the only other major returnee season to discuss here, and again, without knowing the winner, we can’t really say if they’d be on or not.  If the winner was one of the bigger characters of Samoa, like the aforementioned Dave or Erik, yeah, they probably get on.  If it’s someone less exciting, like John Fincher or Kelly Sharbaugh, perhaps not.  As to whether a John Fincher win prevents him and Parvati Shallow from marrying, there’s just no way  to know.  

So, once again, to the ultimate question: Does this change make the season better?  Ehh… If I’m being objective, it really doesn’t.  Even as someone who loathes “Survivor Samoa”, I have to admit that it’s memorable.  Lopsided in the edit, and centered around an annoying egomaniac whose voice has become like sandpaper in my brain, yes, but memorable.  But as mentioned earlier, without the Foa Foa turnaround, the season is ultimately a predictable Pagonging by the tribe that was obviously going to dominate, with only a few interesting characters to be found.  In the end, I suppose it’s better to be polarizing than to be forgettable, and in that sense, yes, this change is a change for the worse.  Sorry, Russell Swan!  

And that about covers the major changes that result from Russell Swan not being medically evacuated.  Of course, with 20 years of “Survivor” History to go through, there’s a lot more changes to discuss, and I want to hear what you want discussed!  Leave a comment on this blog, or wherever it’s posted, of what timeline changes you’d like to see me discuss next!  To help, the guidelines for what sorts of changes I’m willing to examine are below:  

1. One Change Only: This can’t be a whole bunch of things or multiple things going another way to alter the course of a season.  This must be one singular event that alters the season in some way.  Cascade effects, where one change naturally leads to another, are ok, but they have to be natural and logical.  As an example, Shii-Ann not flipping and Chuay Gahn losing the final 10 immunity challenge on “Survivor Thailand” would definitely change things, but those are two independent changes that need to happen, and therefore not appropriate for this blog.  I should also mention that the change has to be an EVENT, not a play style.  Yes, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” probably goes much differently if Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) isn’t an asshole to everyone, but apart from that never happening, it’s a change in overall play style, not a single moment.  It’s also, as I say, implausible, which leads to my next ground rule…

2. The Change Must Be Realistic: An unlikely change is ok, but it has to be something that COULD have happened, or it’s not worth writing about.  Yes, Fang winning the first immunity challenge on “Survivor Gabon” would drastically change the season.  Would it ever happen?  No.  So there’s no point in writing about it.  

3. The Change Must Have An Impact: By this, I mean the change has to actually alter the season in some significant way.  Simply changing up the boot order is not enough.  Someone new has to win, the perception of the season has to change, or both.  As an example, I originally planned to do a blog on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, with a timeline where Candice didn’t flip at the final 9.  I thought this could lead to a Heroes victory.  Then I remembered that Russell Hantz plays his idol in that same episode, meaning the flip most likely doesn’t matter, and apart from a slight boot order change, the season as a whole remains untouched.  Uninteresting, and therefore not worth talking about.  

In addition to these hard-and-fast guidelines, there are two what I call “Flexible Guidelines”.  As the name would imply, these rules can be bent with a compelling arguments, but they are two things that should be borne in mind when suggesting new situations to examine:

4. US Seasons Only: This is nothing against international seasons of “Survivor”.  From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, they can be quite good.  The trouble is, as a citizen on the US, the US version of “Survivor” is the one I’m most familiar with, know the most about, and have seen the most of.  I haven’t even seen a full international season of “Survivor”, just the occasional clip.  Nothing knocking them, of course.  I just haven’t gotten around to viewing them.  So, while I won’t outright ban the suggesting of changes from non-US seasons of “Survivor”, bear in mind that I’m unlikely to pick them due to a lack of knowledge and lack of time to catch up on the seasons.  

5. I Will Not Do Brandon Flipping At The Africa Final 9: A flip by Brandon Quinton at the Final 9 of “Survivor Africa”, voting out Lex instead of Kelly, would indeed fit all the criteria mentioned above.  I’m refusing this particular scenario, not because it isn’t interesting or worth talking about, but because it was already covered by Mario Lanza in his book “When it Was Worth Playing For”.  He covered it so well and so thoroughly that I don’t think I would have anything to add.  I’m willing to consider this scenario if someone can give me a compelling reason that Mario is wrong, or there’s some aspect he didn’t consider, but until that time, this scenario is out.  Other “Survivor Africa” scenarios are ok, though.

Hope everyone is doing well, and getting vaccinated!

-Matt

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 10: Baby, Baby, Bee-Bee, Bee-Bee

Congratulations to user “AubreyDeservedToLoseKaohRong” for correctly identifying last episode’s title as a quote from Brian Heidik of “Survivor Thailand”! Let’s see if we can keep the streak going.

Unfortunately for us, a major win must be followed by a major loss. Yes, it’s time once again for another edition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Appropriately enough for a chaotic Tribal Council, a couple of points got lost in the shuffle. First and foremost, I forgot to properly eulogize Adam. While I did an adequate job defending his play of the podium, if I do say so myself, Adam as a player kind of fell by the wayside. His departure really brings up mixed feelings in me. While Adam is a skilled player, and very much earned his win on his first season, he was clearly here to represent the “Superfan” first, and represent a winner second. In that sense, his boot was well-deserved. It was a long time coming, being brought up as early as the first episode. And again, while I mean no disrespect to Adam as a player, as a result of coming across more as a superfan, he just didn’t feel as “legendary” as the other players on this season. That said, having what was basically a representation of those of us watching at home on the show was nice, and in that sense, he will be missed. If nothing else, Adam can hold up his head with dignity.

Secondly, I want to bring up the music of last episode again before we get into the music of this episode. I, like most everyone else, gave the show flak for having music with English lyrics for no discernible reason in the immunity challenge. However, I forgot to call out a bit where the music was actually helpful. During that chaotic Tribal Council, Adam at one point asked for a response to his question about being targeted. Up until this point, the music had been building in intensity, doing a perfect job of underscoring the chaos. As soon as Adam asks his question? Dead silence, except for some crickets chirping. Genius. Well played, music department. I still haven’t forgiven you for that earlier song, but it’s a start.

Yes, Adam is a player deserving of a long period of mourning. As such, let’s completely ignore the fallout from his exit, and cut straight to the loved-one’s reward challenge! Well, I say “challenge”, but as a bit of a treat for these legendary players, everyone just gets to take their loved-ones back for a feast. A bit of a cop-out? Sure, but the moment has a lot of warm fuzzies, and it would have been kind of cruel to the young kids to get so close to their parents only to be torn away again. Oh yeah, that’s the other special thing about this reward. With so many players having young children, the show (and Fiji Airways, as Jeff goes out of his way to tell us in a segway that in NO WAY detracts from the moment) sends out loved ones, and children, where applicable. It’s a cuteness overload not seen on “Survivor” since the baby monkeys of “Survivor Cambodia”, and I am all for it. Plus, in a weird, roundabout way, it helps to honor the legacy of the show, by showing how long it’s been going on in the progeny produced even by more recent winners.

With that said, I do have to say that having so many loved ones out there for most did make it odd for the people who DIDN’T have children to come out as well, those being Sophie, Nick, and Michele. It’s no mark against them, of course, but it did make them stand out in a bad way, and almost seem like an afterthought at their own reward. So, how could you balance the scales? For my part, I would have thought they’d get basically a second loved-one, kind of like what they did on “Survivor Caramoan”. They don’t have kids, so they get a second person to help balance the love scales. Hell, they could even have tied it into the theme of the season, and brought back friends/allies from a previous season for each of them. Think about it. We could have gotten Probst’s Cochran cameo out of the way with Sophie here. We could have seen the return of Christian or Angelina for Nick. AUBRY-FREAKING-BRACCO COULD HAVE GRACED OUR TV SCREENS ONCE AGAIN FOR MICHELE! WHY ARE YOU NOT MAKING THIS A REALITY, CBS?

Even amongst those with children, however, there are a few standouts. While I’m sure this will be a point of contention for some, for me, the most heartwarming reunion was Tony, simply because this is a side of him we hadn’t seen before on the show. The man started out as the wild and crazy guy on “Survivor Cagayan”, and basically maintained that through “Survivor Game Changers”. We’d seen his more patient, more overtly strategic side come out this season, and now we get to see his emotional, fatherly side. It adds depth that, in my opinion, Tony desperately needs, and he’s the only one left who hadn’t gotten it yet. True, some other people didn’t get it until this season, but even so, Tony is still the last, and it was gratifying to see. Speaking of people getting new sides to them, while Tyson’s reunion touched on the family beats we’d seen from him before, we did get to see him interact with his daughter, which I have to say was adorable. Plus, Tyson FINALLY got in some self-deprecating humor, which if you’ve read me for a while, you know has been a major hangup of mine for Tyson as a character. This isn’t enough to make me love Tyson or anything, but it does start me on the road to liking him more than I had previously. Finally, I want to touch on Jeremy’s reunion, not to talk about the reunion itself, but the music with it. In keeping with the throwback to older seasons, Jeremy’s music cue is a sort of soaring choral piece that hearkens back to the very earliest days of the show. I can’t say off the top of my head that it was used in “Survivor Borneo”, but I know for a fact it was at least as early as “Survivor Africa”. For reference, it’s the music cue that plays during Tom Buchanan’s Hot-Air Balloon reward when he talks about having his horizons broadened by the experience. If you’re looking for another place to find the music cue to hear what I’m talking about, it also plays during the “Rites of Passage” for “Survivor Pearl Islands”. I do very much enjoy most of the new music on the show. Note my love for the new voting theme used on “Survivor Island of the Idols”. But even with that, I still hold a fondness for the old music cues, and wish they would come back more often. On the scale of things I would want brought back to “Survivor”, it’s pretty low. Final Twos, the old jury format, intros that actually PLAY before the episode, rites of passage, gross food challenges, food auctions, and individual character introductions in the first episode, are all things I would take over getting the old music back. That said, I’m not going to complain about us getting the old music back.

So yeah, Probst spills that this is just a reward, no challenge, and everyone goes off and is happy. They laugh. They party. Tyson’s daughter makes “sand soup”, and their interaction around that is just adorable. Time for some mood whiplash on the Edge of Extinction. A boat arrives. Ethan, in an uncharacteristic display of pessimism, says that something bad is coming. Ethan, man, this does not become you. Fortunately, Ethan is wrong, as the people on the Edge of Extinction get their loved ones as well! Ok, I may sound heartless and cruel, but I’m not happy about this. That is to say, I’m happy that the players on the Edge of Extinction are happy, but I feel like this is too much. Apart from the fact that we’re nearly halfway through the episode and aside from some warm fuzzies nothing has happened, this feels like an insult to the players still in the game. Yes, the players on Edge of Extinction are technically “still in the game” by the show’s definition, but they’re clearly not fully “in the game” either. Why do they deserve the special treatment? Because they’re legends? Perhaps, but wasn’t the point of the Edge of Extinction to test people’s limits? To see how much pain and suffering they were willing to endure, just for a SHOT at returning? Kind of undermines your point, doesn’t it? How is this suffering?

Like with the loved ones of the players still in the game, few specific reunions are worth mentioning. All are nice and heartwarming in their own way, and it’s always nice to see that even the most despicable of players are still people who have other people who love them. One tiny detail I find hilarious, though, is that this reunion underlines just how little CBS cares about people from “Survivor Samoa” not named Russell Hantz. Parvati’s husband, John Fincher, was a contestant on that season, but did he get a mention as a previous player? No! And it’s not like no one else who played before didn’t either! Rachel, Tyson’s wife, got a specific call-out, and she didn’t even make the merge! She’s undateable! Hell, I don’t think they even showed us a full shot of John’s face. Every shot was him snogging Parvati. Way to respect your previous players, show!

Ok, we’ve had our touchy-feeley stuff, on to actual strategy, right? Nope, challenge time! Our immunity challenge today comes courtesy of “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, though as Probst notes, this specific iteration resembles the one used on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Players stack blocks to spell “Immunity” with the catch being that they must balance the board said blocks are on while moving back and forth to collect their subsequent blocks. Not a bad challenge, but a bit overdone at this point, especially since it hasn’t really innovated since “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Still, we’ve had worse, it’s not REALLY an endurance challenge, and it can work really well if there’s a lot of back and forth. Sadly, there ISN’T a lot of back and forth. There’s a few close competitors, but Tony does well in the challenge from beginning to end, and it’s mostly a matter of just seeing who comes close before Tony gets his first individual immunity victory, and two fire tokens to boot. Congratulations, Tony. You are now tied with Kass McQuillen (“Survivor Cagayan”) in terms of number of immunity wins. May you one day be as awesome as she is.

While I may gripe about the immunity challenge, Tony is kind of an odd one to win this one. After all, this sort of challenge favors those with patience and finesse, neither of which are qualities Tony is particularly known for. Even he is surprised, but he isn’t complaining. After all, he is the belle of the ball. First to come up to him his Jeremy, who pitches voting out Sarah, on the grounds that he wants to break up the Sarah/Sophie bond. Not a bad idea in general, but why, Jeremy, are you pitching this idea to TONY? And if you must pitch the idea to Tony, why say Sarah. Even if you don’t know the two are allied, you can guess that they have something of a bond, given that they played two seasons together. If you must go for one of them, go for Sophie. Tony clearly isn’t happy about it, but lets it slide to Jeremy’s face. All is not well with Tony and Sarah, however. Tony, who had been so patient so far this episode, loses it with Sarah when they can’t agree on their target. Both make logical points. Sarah wants to target Kim since she’s the type who can fly under the radar and snake you before you know it, while Tony wants to target Tyson. The reasons aren’t given, but Tyson is a challenge threat, and these people have seen “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. They know not to let any returnees from there near the finals. Thus, to paraphrase an old Klingon Proverb, any day is a good day to vote out Tyson.

Sarah seems to win the initial struggle, with Tony caving, but Tony isn’t done yet, as indicted by the hornets swarming overhead. When Jeremy gets up from a pow-wow with Nick and Tony to go talk to Kim, Tony calls over Sophie and uses the time to talk about going against Jeremy. Again, another good target. Jeremy has bonds with a lot of people left, and is a challenge threat, combining to make him dangerous. The trouble is, they only seem to have five, and need to pull over a sixth. This may be difficult, though, as Kim, Jeremy, and Tyson commiserate about no one wanting to talk to them. Then they get the bright idea of “Hey, why don’t we talk with each other!”, and agree to pull in Denise and Michele (presumably through their ties to Jeremy) to vote out Sophie, on the logical grounds of “she’s unlikely to see it coming”. Yes, the strategy is rushed, and pointless crammed into all of about 10 minutes, but it is logical strategy, if nothing else. One interesting point about these groups is that we’ve still very much got an original Dakal/original Sele split here, just with a few disaffected people switching sides. Most Dakal still in the game are with Tony (Sarah, Nick, and Sophie). Ben is original Sele, but was the swing vote there with no truly firm alliances. Most original Sele, meanwhile, are with Jeremy (Denise and Michele), along with Kim, who had no real alliance, and Tyson, who got voted out by Dakal, and thus has no reason to be loyal to them. Funny. Despite the tribe shake-up, we still end up with an original tribe split, effectively. Whodathunkit?

If you can do math, though, you’ll notice that this leaves us at a 5-5 tie, with no way to break the deadlock using social play. This also means, once again, we must forgo the “Which person is better to vote out?” discussion, since there’s no swing vote. Plus, again, this is a situation where all the targets are logical ones, and so there’s really no wrong answer. With no other recourse, we turn to the discussion of advantages. First is Kim’s idol, which she considers playing, though she tells Denise she wants to play it on someone else, rather than herself. I just have to ask: WHY? Kim, maybe you haven’t been keeping up with the show as much as you should have, but it’s not WHO you play the idol on, but HOW. Playing it correctly, for yourself or someone else, is all that matters. With this much potential risk, best to play it on yourself if you play it at all, and hope for the best. Potentially more impactful is Jeremy’s “Safety without Power”, since tonight is the last night he can play it. With so much chaos, it might seem a wise move, but when Jeremy pitches it to Tyson, it’s pointed out that this basically screws his alliance, and Jeremy’s firefighter “help other people” instincts fight with his self-preservation instinct as we head off to Tribal Council.

For those who say that idols and advantages should be gotten rid of entirely, let this Tribal Council be the counterargument. This was a SNOOZEFEST of a Tribal Council until the advantages came out. We cut straight to the whispering, with no inciting incident. It adds an air of mystery, I suppose, but that’s what the strategic buildup pre-Tribal Council is for. We get no drama until Jeremy and Sarah talk over each other to play their advantages, only to each insist the other go first, get into a standoff, and nearly get to voting AGAIN before finally something gives. That something is Jeremy, who goes for self-preservation and plays his safety without power on himself. I can’t really fault the decision too much. While this does all but guarantee that a member of Jeremy’s alliance will be voted out, all this does is make his way forward more difficult. Better a difficult way forward than a near impossible way forward from getting voted out. Jeremy leaves, and our groups, called out by Sophie in a very Boston Rob-esque move, convene to decide on their targets. You would think Jeremy’s advantage would be it, but NO! Despite having a numerical advantage, Sarah still plays her vote steal. I’ll admit, my gut reaction was that Sarah jumped the gun, but then it occurred to me that this makes mathematical sense. By stealing a vote, and turning a probable 5-4 vote into a probably 6-3 vote, Sarah’s alliance can split the votes and virtually guarantee themselves success. After all, the one thing that can upset their alliance is a correct idol play. Given that Sarah knows the location of the Yara idol, and that the Sele one was played by Denise, it’s unlikely the other alliance has more than one idol. Thus, by splitting the votes 3-3-3, even if one person from the other alliance is safe, the other goes home on revote. It’s genius…

Or at least it WOULD be if the group had done it correctly! Seriously, how did you screw such a simple plan up? Tyson isn’t even involved this time! Ok, he is involved, but on the other side, so that’s no excuse. Kim plays her idol on a vote-stolen Denise, which given how obvious a target it made her, I’m surprised Kim went for her. I can only assume it was more emotional than strategic. To be fair, from what we see, Denise does receive two votes, but Tyson gets the remaining four. This implies the majority did a 4-2 split AGAINST A GROUP OF THREE PEOPLE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? If Kim had played her idol correctly, Sophie would have been gone, and you would have been SOL. You ever think of that?

Sigh. Ok, ok, let’s talk about Tyson’s exit. As I said before, it was earned, and I’m happy to see the ruling alliance make a smart decision. Of course, I also said I was warming up to Tyson and his humor a lot more this episode, so am I sorry to see him go? Yeah… no. Look, I’m liking the guy more than I have, but he’s still not one of my favorites, even of those left. Plus, if nothing else, it’s gratifying to see people in the game FINALLY not let the returnee from Edge of Extinction get a foothold. Having no fire tokens, Tyson merely gives the boxes the finger, and we close on a group hug from the jury to Probst. Aww.

This is a tough episode of “Survivor” to critique, mainly because it’s really only half an episode of “Survivor”. The first half was just Hallmark-Channel sweetness, which is nice enough, and I do like to see the show shake up their own formula. But it just didn’t feel like “Survivor” as we know it. What we did get was rushed, due to loved ones and the Edge of Extinction, continuing the major issue of this season. While the characters and strategy are good, there’s just too much left, and there isn’t enough time to properly digest everything before we move on, making it all feel rushed, which should not happen in a legends season. Still, it’s by no means bad overall. Just room for improvement.

Speaking of improvement, we’ve got a tricky title to identify today, so get cracking. Let me know in the comments who said the quote that provided tonight’s blog title, as well as what season it was said on! First person to get it correct gets their name at the top of the next blog!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Survivor Retrospectives: Samoa

Well, folks, this is where it starts. You’ve heard about the “Survivor” great downward spiral. This is where it begins. Strangely, I put it a lot earlier than most, so let’s take a look at why Samoa seemed at the time to be the beginning of the end.
However, it should be noted that this review will contain spoilers. Those who want to know my opinions on the season, but don’t want to know the specific events that inform my opinion, can scroll to the bottom of the page, where I will have an “Abstract” section that will briefly summarize my opinion on the watchability of the season in a spoiler-free manner. Oh, boy, this is going to suck, so let’s jump right into the season.

CAST
Samoa’s cast is very unique, and not in a good way. There’s been a variety of casts thus far in “Survivor” history, and while the quality varies widely in those season, you can usually count on at least 3 or 4 interesting people to a season. Samoa did not have that. Samoa had Russell Hantz, and if the marketing was to believed, no one else.
In fairness, it’s pretty easy to see why marketing would latch onto Russell as a cash cow. A big time strategist who was good at finding idols, Russell would have made good tv just for that. But Russell had to go farther than this. He had an ego that rivaled even Richard Hatch’s (“Survivor Borneo”), and could turn out cocky soundbytes with the best of players. He even had a few deeds to back it up, managing to overcome a 2-1 deficit for his Foa Foa tribe come the merge (they lost all but one immunity challenge). Yes, I have no quarrel in a sense with them centering the season around Russell, as he made it so easy. What I DO have a problem with is making him the ONLY thing to watch on the season.
In an odd twist, Samoa seems to have been cast with only Russell in mind. So many non-entities, so many bland people, so many sheep who would just kowtow to Russell that they may as well not even have been there. Apart from getting old very fast, this meant there was no break from the Russell, no reprieve from the supposed new “mastermind”. And make no mistake, while I do acknowledge Russell’s accomplishments, he is no mastermind. In fact, he’s so inflexible that I’d go so far as to call him one of the DUMBEST players ever. While it would become much more evident in his later seasons, Samoa still showed that while Russell was incredibly good at finding hidden immunity idols and calling the bluffs of others/finding their weaknesses to make them flip, he was completely ignorant of the social aspect of the game. Russell bullied, Russell put down others, and worst of all in my mind, Russell was INCREDIBLY chauvinistic. His first alliance was dubbed, by him, the “Dumbass Girl Alliance”. That does not sit well with me, and did not sit well with the audience either. Compounding the problem, Russell even refused to acknowledge that he MIGHT need to be nice to people, insisting that he deserved the win on merit alone. Rather than take responsibility for the one part of the game he DIDN’T do well on, Russell chose to ignore it altogether. People praise many of his moves (which I’ll get to in the “Twist” section), but I maintain that for all his good strategizing, Russell’s ignoring of the social aspect of the game makes him a bad player, and perhaps even does an injustice to the game as a whole.
Here we see the crux of the problem with having only Russell to support the cast: he was a polarizing player. Again, this makes him good tv, but with any polarizing player, about half the audience is going to dislike him, and with no one to fall back on or challenge Russell, this means you lose about half your cast. Moreover, Russell’s hype and ego really wore thin as the show went on, largely due to the fact that while Richard Hatch’s ego was tempered by a lot of self-deprecating humor, Russell seemed to really believe the narcissistic confessionals he was putting out. For me, he wasn’t pleasant to watch, and there being no recourse from him made it all the worse. Bottom line, while his dynamic nature made him good tv, he was polarizing, wore thin, and hinging an entire season on him was not the way to make a successful season.
Ok, ok, I suppose if you want to get TECHNICAL, Russell wasn’t the only person Samoa had to hinge on at the time. Notably, his rival from Galu Russell Swan was remembered, though mostly due to the twists he was involved in which will, of course, be taken up in the “Twist” section. In any case, he was a nice guy, if a bit of a bumbling leader. Swan I actually like, but he was out fairly early, and that really just left us with Hantz. Russell Hantz’s other rival, late in the merge, was one Brett Clouser, a t-shirt designer who decided to go on a winning streak late in the season, that made him the only foil to Russell. It failed. While Brett seemed a very nice guy, he was such a non-entity for the majority of the season that he kind of fell flat later, and didn’t have any sort of strategy, and so just didn’t work. Shannon “Shambo” Waters, the mullet-sporting ex-Marine was occasionally delightfully crazy, but mostly came off as whiny and entitled, milking the “my tribe picked on me” card for too long. Laura Morrett had the potential for strategy, and had a nice immunity run early after the merge, but was too mean-spirited, and shoved aside too much for Russell Hantz. Here was the FIRST person who maybe had potential outside of Russell, and she barely got any screentime. Not a good business model. Finally, there’s eventual winner Natalie White, who falls into a similar category as Brett. She ended up a foil to Russell, but only because she was nice at the end, and had almost no impact on the season as a whole. She, Laura, and Russell Swan are the only people talked about outside of Russell Hantz, and with the exception of Natalie, only for their performance on later seasons, or their manner of exit. As to Natalie, despite being nice, she’s usually talked about negatively, seen as costing Russell his richly deserved win. I don’t agree with this, but we’ll get to that in the “Twist” section.
Even now, Russell Hantz dominates the conversation, and that’s not a good thing, as especially late in the season, everyone else just wasn’t there. As I said, other people are talked about, but usually for things outside of the season itself. Taking the season on its own, there’s just Russell, and that’s not ideal. Take, for comparison, “Survivor The Amazon”. Yes, in a lot of ways it was mainly the “Rob Cesternino Show”, but it was backed up with a good supporting cast for if and when Rob got annoying, as well as giving Rob a few foils. One person does not a cast make, what few supports existed were lackluster at best, there’s just no salvaging the cast of Samoa.

Score: 1 out of 10.

CHALLENGES
At the outset, it seemed like Samoa would have good challenges. Not a lot of puzzle emphasis, but that’s ok sometimes. A lot of epic, very physical competitions, but perhaps too much so, due to the number of injuries on the season (again, wait for the “Twist” section). Apart from that, the seemed to lose something right around the merge. Competitions started becoming more home-grown, more board game like than before. Put it this way, this was the season that gave us bowling. BOWLING. On “Survivor”. No. No, that’s not how you do challenges. Not trying to knock the pre-merge competitions, those were still awesome, but the post-merge game really drags everything down. Stronger than the cast, but that’s not saying much. Still, points need to be given for the coconut “Ker=Plunk!” challenge towards the end, that was pretty fun to see.

Score: 4 out of 10.

TWISTS
One thing I’ll say about a cast with Russell on it, there’s no shortage of twists. This, and not Russell himself, are what really hold up the season and again, they’re stronger than Russell, but that’s not saying much. Let’s take a look.
Starting things off, this season decided to have each tribe formally pick a leader without any information. Not a bad concept, but awfully similar to what they’d just done on “Survivor Tocantins”, only you’re looking for positive first impressions rather than negative first impressions. On top of that, I hate the concept of a formal “Leader” on a tribe in “Survivor”. It didn’t work for the Morgan tribe on “Survivor Pearl Islands”. I remain unconvinced it will work for others. This leader would make many important decisions over the game, starting with which three tribe members would participate in the challenge, and this is how they would be judged. Russell Swan was chosen for Galu, and while he was an effective motivator, he made a few stupid decisions in his time, notably taking pillows and blankets rather than a tarp for one reward to “take care of the ladies” (chauvinism was just a major theme of the season). Still, he was better than his counterpart on Foa Foa: Mick Trimming. The man so bland Wonder Bread makes fun of him. He was basically neutered by Russell Hantz, who made all the real decisions. Plus, Russell controlled the tribe by dumping their supplies at night. While it was amazing to see anyone go there, it felt unpleasant and wrong. But we’ll talk more about Russell later. As to Mick, like I said, a non-entity. Still, the one decision he did make, who to put in the opening challenge, paid off, in that Foa Foa won.
This would not be a trend that lasted. While not quite as pathetic as the Ulong Tribe from “Survivor Palau”, Foa Foa was abysmal in challenges, winning precisely one immunity challenge the entire time. Like with “Survivor Gabon” seeing one tribe get decimated wasn’t nearly as fun the third time around, though for once it lead to a great bit after the merge.
This season eliminated Exile Island, instead option to do a variation on the “kidnapping” twist from “Survivor China”. Now the winning tribe sent someone to the losing tribe to hang around. The person sent had a note that told the location of their own tribe’s hidden immunity idol. While I admire the show for not sticking to what had become formula, this twist never really worked for me. Some interesting cross-tribal strategizing went on (it’s what got Shambo to flip), but it just never clicked like Exile Island did, mostly due to the hidden immunity idols getting found without clues. On top of that, it was the death of Exile Island as a twist, and I was sorry to see it go. As such, I can’t get behind this twist too much.
Episode two also saw the first of two medical emergencies. During a violent basketball-style game called Schmergenbrawl, Foa Foa Player Mike Borassi began to have trouble breathing. As such he was pulled from the game. Sorry to see him go, but he hadn’t made a huge impact. A fun fact, though, is that he was originally going to be on “Survivor Tocantins” in place of Spencer Duhm, and was only pulled at the last minute for sleep apnea. This was also the point where Russell started his blindsides. I won’t be covering the pre-merge ones, just due to the sheer number and lack of reason to each, but let’s just say that wherever Russell was not blindly followed, there was a blindside.
Some would argue that I’m ignoring the twist of someone being ejected from a challenge. Ben Browning was thrown out of Schmergebrawl it’s true, but he was not the first. The majority of the Sook Jai tribe on “Survivor Thailand” was thrown out due to excessive violence on the pirating challenge. Probst just called it a first due to his wanting to forget “Survivor Thailand”.
Contrary to popular belief, this season also gave us the first “Probst-less” challenge. A cool novelty, but nothing really came of it.
Our next twist is the next medical evacuation, as well as the first time a challenge went unfinished. During a reward challenge for what would have been a double tribal council, Russell Swan collapsed from severe dehydration. The worst storm in the show’s history, which lasted for days on end, had prevented him from making fire and thus boiling water. However, he kept up his normal workload, and this did him in. This was a tragic moment, and as Russell Swan was the “Big Good” of the season, I consider it a low point.
Russell’s evacuation led to the picking of a new leader for Galu. Shambo was chosen in a popular vote, due to the majority alliance wanting a puppet to hold up the tribe. One of the few non-Russell-Hantz strategic moments on the season? Sign me up!
During this time, Russell Hantz went on his idol-finding run. Say what you will about the man, he had a knack for finding idols, and started the trend of people looking for idols before getting any clues. That he was successful three times speaks to his brilliance in this area. Just not in the area of social skills.
Eventually the merge came, with Foa Foa at the greatest deficit ever of 8-4. This in itself was pretty cool to see, but was ruined by the fact that this made the merge happen at 12 people. I’ve stated before that I hate this, and stand by it here. It’s just too many people to keep track of, in my opinion.
Still, the merge was to be the start of Russell Hantz’s blindside reign. He managed to make the single greatest comeback in “Survivor” history. First, he and Natalie (see, she did do stuff), convinced Galu to vote out the cocky, idol-bearing Erik. Then, though skillful hidden immunity idol and the flip of Shambo, Russell knocked out Kelly Sharbaugh and then Laura, earning him a majority all the way to the end. It was cool to see, but as after that the blindsides ended and I supported Galu, it was just painful to watch. Especially since it made Russell so cocky. Still, his finding of idols was impressive, as I’ve said.
It should also be noted here that this season also gave us the first ever post-merge double tribals. I’m not a fan of them. While it feels appropriate at the tribal phase (an eye for an eye, and all that), it just felt rushed post-merge. Admittedly, it did have the benefit of helping us get to the good stuff faster, plus seeding for Brett’s immunity run towards the end, but overall, it just felt wrong.
The final twist, and the best, is that Russell didn’t win. Natalie did, and deservedly. She made moves, she recognized that Russell was a divisive figure and latched onto him as an easy win at the end, and played socially very well. Natalie as a social player is underrated, and strategically, it was HER that took out Erik, helping give Foa Foa its majority. Plus, after episode upon episode of Russell’s cockiness, it was good to see him brought down. The look on his face after he was not declared the winner was PRICELESS.
A couple winners, when you look at the twists and not who was perpetrating them, and this season didn’t do a half-bad job. It even had a few little firsts, such as Jaison Robinson bidding $500 immediately at an auction for an immunity advantage, and John Fincher having to chose between a piece of pie for himself, and the rest of the pie for the tribe. Still, there were a number of flops, and when you consider who INITIATED those twists, they tend to drag.

Score: 6 out of 10.

OVERALL
The strongest of locations would have had a hard time compensating for the amount of Russell on this season. Samoa did not have that luxury. While the culture was somewhat unique (I particularly liked the design of the Tribal Immunity Idol), the season suffered from a great deal of Generic South Pacific Island. Again, not the worst case of it, but it does the season no favors.
One overriding theme of the season is overcoming chauvinism. The big players of the season were sexist to varying degrees, and this season had a shortage of strong women. I think it great, then, that the most quiet, demure woman triumphs over all these brash guys. Still, this does not change the fact that the cast overall was lackluster, Russell Hantz really ran the show, making everything very one-note. A cast needs to be more than one person, and when that person is Russell Hantz, you’re in trouble.
For once, it’s not so much that the season doesn’t come together. It very much does. The trouble is that when it comes together, all it has is Russell Hantz. And whatever innovations he brought, that’s a bad thing.
Score: 9 out of 40.

ABSTRACT
Whatever others will tell you, Samoa is an unpleasant season whose hype makes everything, even the underdog stories predictable. I would say avoid this one, but unfortunately, this season introduced a few new concepts and ideas that carry on into future seasons of “Survivor”. This makes this season essential if you want to understand future seasons, and while I hate to say it, it’s a must-watch. Just get it over with quickly, and then never watch it again.