Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Finale: Now We’re Playing “Stupid Survivor”

(This space reserved for the person who correctly guesses the person and season that originated the title quote of the previous blog).

So, this finale was supposed to be three hours, right? Three hours of content? Are you sure we got it? Because it sure doesn’t feel like we did. Despite being literally longer than any finale up to this point, it felt like one of the finales with the least substance left. Let us get through that substance now.

We start off, of course, at the challenge to return from the Edge of Extinction, aka yet another ropes course, aka Natalie gets back in the game. I mean, come on, the woman had three advantages, and had proven she was still a challenge beast this late in the game. There’s no way she was going to lose. Now, the show does its level best to make it look like she might. She gets turned around on maneuvering through the post obstacle, in the process giving a more effective demonstration than anything so far of how draining the Edge of Extinction can be. All she had to do was move forward, and somehow she still got turned around. Wendell, Yul, and Boston Rob all get in there with her, with even Tyson factoring in at one point, but Natalie eventually makes it through, and wins a tight race with Wendell to get back in the game. Well earned for her, but the outcome we all saw coming. There’s approximately 15 minutes down the drain, though admittedly the shot of Probst’s garage was pretty sweet.

And, of course, we have to say goodbye to those who must now go the jury. It’s fairly hard to make this not touching and emotional, and while I give production a lot of flak, they manage to do this part of the episode with grace and dignity. Of course, I’m a snarky internet blogger, so I must accentuated the negative. I could talk about the nice speeches given by the likes of Kim and Sophie, detailing how they’ve grown and what they’ve learned about themselves throughout this adventure. I could talk about how satisfying a bookend it is to end with Ethan, a man who has endured so much in his life, and the earliest winner represented on the show. All these things are marks in this segment’s favor. Instead, though, we’re going to focus on what Amber has to say. All season long, I’ve complained about Amber’s inclusion on the cast, both from a game perspective in terms of sinking both her and Boston Rob’s chances, and from a character perspective. But here, she has a chance to set herself apart, to distinguish herself from her husband, to prove that she’s just as much a player in this game as he is. Does she do this? NO! Instead, she talks about how she played to better Rob’s game, and everything was for him. I appreciate the honesty, and that level of devotion is certainly touching, but I have to say, once again WHY WAS AMBER HERE? We could have had Vecepia, an underrated winner who could have added new, interesting dynamics to the game, and instead we have someone who literally said they were playing for someone else to win. That just feels wrong, particularly on a season as “legendary” as this. And yes, the quotation marks are intentional. We’re going to talk about them much later.

For now, Natalie gets to tour the Koru camp, doubtless changed a fair bit since her last sojourn there in the first two days of the game. Natalie, of course, is in game mode, and sets about bettering her position as best she can. She says she’s going to have to “lie like crazy” in order to build a crack in the dominant foursome, but I’m not sure that she does. At most, she exaggerates. She very publicly tells the group that the people on the Edge perceive Tony as being the one giving the orders, and everyone else just follows orders. From what little we’ve been getting about how everyone’s thinking, that seems like the truth. It’s enough to rankle Tony, however, who kvetches about it to Sarah. As well he should, as he’s effectively being skewered to better Natalie’s chances in the game. Sarah is upset as well, but for a different reason. She rightly sees herself and Tony as partners. She even tots out Trish’s “Tony wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.” line from “Survivor Cagayan”. Yet, she’s now being told she’s seen as just a follower, and she not unfairly sees this as a bit of sexism. Remember this. It will be important later.

Ah yes, nothing like a three-hour episode to really dive into the dynamics of the tribe, and with a sixth member added who has barely played with any of these people left, we need to take our time and really examine… Nope, wait, we apparently need to get straight to the immunity challenge! Because that’s what “Survivor” is all about!

Our challenge is the classic ropes obstacle course ending in a puzzle, and an iteration I’m not a fan of. Half the fun of these challenges is watching people trip over each other trying to go through the same obstacle, yet here, with the six divided into two groups of three, there’s almost none of that. Plus, there’s the issue of the water slides, which so very rarely work on “Survivor” and this one is no exception. And, of course, it all comes down the puzzle, a repeat from the final immunity challenge of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Michele won that challenge, a fact that Probst calls out. Thus, even when Michele is notably far behind the others, she still has a chance to come back, Indeed she does, as it seems production did not even bother to change the number of the pieces in the challenge, and Michele is basically able to recreate the puzzle from memory. Impressive for her, and certainly nothing unfair about it, but I’m surprised production didn’t charge up the puzzle at least a little to prevent something like this happening.

Credit where it’s due: I was hoping Michele would repeat her kicking down of the puzzle upon winning, and she did so. For this, I am happy.

And now we come to my least favorite part of the episode, which should tell you something about the outcome. No, this is the segment I like to call “Make you favorite winners look like idiots!” You see, Tony, as he has been doing most of this game, plays things smart. He realizes that, given that Chris Underwood came back in with an advantage on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, Natalie is likely to have one this time around. Hence, the foursome need to split the vote between Natalie and Denise (presumably telling Denise they’re all in on Natalie) to ensure that the person they want goes home. This is a perfectly logical line of reasoning. It is the obvious smart move. And yet Tony is the only one of the four who sees it! Ben, Sarah, Denise, all three of them are adamant that Natalie has nothing, and they should just get her out right now. Much as I like Ben, this is the sort of thinking I expect from him, especially when he admits it’s mostly a ploy to keep Denise around, since he’s trying to focus on his social bonds. Not a bad principle, but Ben, there’s a time to cut your losses, and when it involves burning an idol three days from the end of the game, that time is now. But Sarah and Denise? What are you thinking?! You two are not unintelligent! How can you possibly dismiss the possibility out of hand? Sarah is made out to look the worst of the lot, saying in confessional that she can read Natalie well, and knows she doesn’t have anything, only to cut to Natalie telling Michele about her idol, and the pair gloating about it. Tony tries to talk sense into this alliance, but they won’t have it, and he lets it go. Ironically the one time Tony needs to be forceful is the one time he’s diplomatic. Go figure. Look, we all know Tony is marching to victory at this point, but can you just make his game look good? You don’t need to make the other winners look like morons in the process!

Our first Tribal Council with a now cleaned-up jury is naturally largely focussed on Natalie. Talking about the drama she stirred up, the ethics of the Edge of Extinction, all that jazz that you’d expect. It’s Sarah who throws a curveball into the whole shebang, bringing up her sexism argument from earlier. In simple terms, she says that when a woman lies, cheats, and steals, she’s seen as a scumbag. When a man does the same thing, he’s seen as “playing the game”. A flagrant double-standard, and one that Sarah is absolutely right to point out, even asking to be called “Lacina” by Probst after the whole last-name basis thing comes up. I must say, this particular conversation fills me with a perverse glee. Why perverse? Well, if you’re a superfan of “Survivor” (and I assume you are, if you’re reading this blog after watching this particular season), then this argument might sound a bit familiar to you. Word for word, it’s almost the same argument that Kass McQuillen made about her game. You know, on “Survivor Cagayan”. The season that Sarah was on. And the season where Sarah openly insulted Kass, along with most of the rest of the cast. To see her, even in this minimal way, acknowledge that maybe Kass was right all along? It warms my cold, black, Kass-loving heart. Even Probst gets in on the action, acknowledging his own biases and evolution over the course of the show. Of course, I’d love it even more if he talked about taking actual steps towards addressing it, but it’s a start, and I’m not going to knock his speech too much. What can I say, it was a good speech!

With no split vote coming down, Tony gets the chance to say “I told you so.” to everyone in his alliance. We never got a firm target from Natalie or Michele, but they ultimately went for Ben, who wisely played his idol. Thus, only Denise and Sarah are options on a revote, with everyone besides them voting. With how much Michele and Natalie talked about the need to split Sarah and Tony up, you’d expect them to force a tie, or hope that Ben saves Denise over Sarah, but surprisingly, the revote is unanimous against Denise. It’s a little unclear now as to why, but the show does a good job of explaining their reasoning later, so I can’t blame them too much for this at the moment. As to Denise’s exit; while I can’t deny that her last few days mean she deserved it, and she loses “smart points” in my book for insisting that Natalie had no advantage, I am sorry to see Denise go. She was the last person left who seem to have any shot of winning (I like Michele a lot, but let’s be real, there’s not really a path to victory for her at this point) whom I actually fully liked as a person. The rest? I either don’t like their gameplay this season, or don’t really care for them on a personal level. Not that they’re bad people or anything, just not my cup of tea. Some people click, some people don’t. While I respect all of these people as winners, they just don’t “click” with me the was someone like Denise does. That said, her boot was well-earned, and Denise takes it with good grace, so we can move forward with a clean conscience.

Evidently saying “I told you so.” is not just for Tribal Council, as Tony goes on his rant to Ben and Sarah again at camp. It can’t last too long, though, as Tony has correctly deduced that there’s an idol present in camp, with so many played last night. Thus, he sets out to search in the dark of night, bringing fire in a conch with him to help look. There’s a “Lord of the Flies” joke in here, but I’m not sure what it is. In this case, though, Tony’s manic energy cannot overcome the crushing darkness, and by daybreak he’s still empty-handed. Everyone else joins in the search, culminating in Natalie finding another idol. But no, tell me more about how being on the Edge of Extinction is not an advantage in the game. I mean yeah, Natalie had tons of time to practice looking for and finding things hidden by production, but I’m sure that in NO WAY influences her idol finding abilities, and is DEFINITELY more important than playing the actual strategic game.

While Natalie does a good job of hiding her idol find from everyone outside of Michele for now, Ben and Tony’s idol radars go off, and are suspicious that something’s been found. For now that has to wait, though, as it’s once again time for an immunity challenge. To be fair to the ropes course, while it was lame in comparison to the ones before it, it at least had the epic scale and exciting finish one would hope for in the finale. This is another obstacle course, but it just feels lame. Basically a balance beam and net crawl, culminating in landing sandbags on a disc. Riveting. At least the music keeps us epically guessing, with Tony and Ben dueling it out. Tony narrowly wins, and we head back to camp. It’s here we see why Natalie and Michele voted out Denise, rather than forcing a tie: While they want Tony and Sarah broken up, they think they can work with Sarah. Don’t see why they couldn’t do the same with Denise, and guarantee a breakup of the tightest twosome there, but perhaps Natalie was still bitter about the whole “voted out first” thing, and didn’t trust Denise anymore. In any case, Tony decides to use this to his advantage, asking Sarah to lure Natalie to the area of the “Spy Nest” and get her talking about a potential hidden immunity idol. Sarah does, and Natalie is initially cagey about things, but when called out on the lump in her buff, shows it to Sarah. Evidently it’s Natalie’s turn to hold the “stupid ball”, for keeping the idol on her person in a game with someone KNOWN TO HIDE IN THE BUSHES AND WATCH YOU! DID YOU PEOPLE JUST NOT WATCH CAGAYAN OR SOMETHING? Michele calls her out on this, and feels her own death warrant has been signed. Sure enough, when Sarah spills the beans to Tony, they agree that Natalie is most likely to play the idol on herself, and thus they must vote for Michele. A logical plan, given how preservation-oriented Natalie is. What could possibly screw it up now?

Why, Ben throwing himself on his sword, of course! He talks to Sarah about her speech at the past Tribal Council, and notes that if she wants to vote him off to separate herself from Tony, it’s ok to do so. It’s a sweet and touching moment, fitting in with this season’s strength in emotions, but weird on a season with “legendary” play. I’m expecting all-out, hard core strategic play from each and every person on this season if you call it “legendary”. What we’re getting isn’t bad, but it’s not what I expected. This does give Sarah a dilemma, though. While I agree with her assessment that she needs to do something to separate herself from Tony, voting out Ben isn’t it. Ben is someone she guaranteed beats at the end. She definitely doesn’t beat Tony, and while I think she can beat either Natalie or Michele, it’s an uphill battle. By no means guaranteed. Better to keep your odds good there.

At our Tribal Council, which pales in comparison to the first one with zero memorable moments up until the torch snuff, we see that Sarah makes the dumb decision. Natalie does indeed play the idol on herself, but with three votes against him, it’s ultimately Ben who gets the boot. Can’t say I’m sorry to see him go. While I’m not as down on his win as most are, he is not the most interesting player to me, and as he had no shot at winning this season from what we’d seen up until this point, I’m ok with him going out, if only to make the ending all that much more exciting. Plus, Ben once again continues the trend of memorable exits, hooting and hollering. He even gets a Probst hug! Daaw.

With not real strategy to discuss at this point, we cut straight to our Final Immunity Challenge. Naturally, with a season honoring 20 years of “Survivor”, we go back to the beginning, with “Hand on a hard idol”. Bring it all back to that simple question of “How badly do you want it?” A test of will that will push our final four to their limits…

What’s that you say? They’re going with “Simmotion”? A final challenge that, while difficult, is probably the lamest-looking final immunity challenge ever? Yeah, keep calling this season “legendary”. See if it sticks.

Since this challenge is all about concentration, naturally Tony is out first. Some habits die hard, I guess. Sarah is out next, making our final victor moot, since we know that both Michele and Natalie would send the other two to fire making no matter what. Natalie is the ultimate victor, making some impressive saves, and meaning this season, before pretty good, is now coming dangerously close to “Survivor Edge of Extinction” territory.

Natalie doesn’t tell us who she’s sending to fire-making, though Tony is one of them. Everyone practices fire, leaving Tony’s opponent up in the air as we head out. As I’ve indicated, Natalie’s smartest option is to take Michele to the end. While her iconic line may be “I don’t need to be carried, bro!”, she’s not going to get a choice in this matter. While you have to have one of that dominating duo at the end, there’s no need to risk having both of them, and I maintain, Chris Underwood notwithstanding, that giving up safety to risk it all on a fire-making challenge is a dumb move in general. As such, Natalie relieves herself of the stupid ball, and sends Sarah and Tony to fire-making. Naturally since Sarah was talking before about how she was going to beat Tony in a fire-making challenge hands-down, Tony wins. And this after Natalie and Michele tried to backseat drive Sarah’s fire-making. I get what Natalie was trying to do here. Show herself as being in control of the whole final three, not just two-thirds of it. But by so blatantly favoring one side and then failing, she just makes herself look weaker. Sarah gets a good sendoff, tearfully bidding farewell to her cop buddy Tony, and getting a respectful “Lacina, the tribe has spoken.” to send her off. A nice capstone to the conversation that kickstarted this whole episode. I’m a bit sorry to see Sarah go, particularly after the sexism discussion, but the girl fought hard and can be proud of her performance. That was a really freaking close fire-making challenge.

The Day 39 breakfast means it’s time once again to hear the setup for our final arguments. They’re pretty much what you’d expect. Michele talks about playing from the bottom and proving herself as a winner. Natalie talks about fighting back from being the first person voted out. Tony talks about changing up his game and controlling the vote to the point of never having his name written down. All reasonable arguments, though given what this sort of jury would seem to favor, I think Michele has long odds. Still, you never know.

Give Michele full credit: She argues her case HARD at that Final Tribal Council. Even though, as astute as she is, I’m sure she knew she was fighting a losing battle, she did her best and argued to the bitter end. That is worthy of respect, in my book. Honestly, while all of the final three gave good arguments, I’m inclined to say Tony had the weakest of the three. Not so much because he gave bad arguments, but I feel the real strength of his game was his ability to change up his gameplay from his past two times, and he never really articulated that well. While the jury format still bugs me, with Probst interjecting too much, we did get a couple of iconic moments, something we really haven’t gotten from the jury since the switch to the new format. Yul’s stage fright. Jeremy calling out Tony on his supposed “Loyalty”. Boston Rob taking everyone to task for pretty much everything. Ben bonding with Michele over their “controversial” wins. And, of course, Danni’s nice summation at the end, culminating in a round of applause for the final three from everyone. A perfect capstone to this sort of moment. Really, the only sour note at this Tribal Council was the implication from the jury that Natalie should have fought Tony in fire-making if she wanted to win. Again, see my comments above about how that’s a stupid move and a needless risk nearly at the end of the game.

There were two ways this blog could have gone down. We saw a couple of Natalie votes, and a couple of Tony votes. No Michele votes (unfortunate, though I can understand why) means that either Natalie or Tony must win. While I do like Natalie overall, her win after being voted out first would have put this season in the same category as “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, a category it otherwise does not deserve to be in. This season is head and shoulders above that season in nearly every aspect, but if the outcome was that unsatisfying, I would have had no choice. Had that happened, you would not have gotten a recap blog. You would instead have gotten a 4,000 word rant about how evidently nothing that happens on “Survivor” matters anymore. Thankfully, the jury does the sane thing and awards the check to the guy who changed up his game the most in the ways that he needed to. While it was fairly obvious post-merge that it was Tony’s game to lose, the dude still played his butt off, and for the most part was able to stave off his old ways that got him an early boot on “Survivor Game Changers”. Those rare times he did dip back into his old gameplay, he was able to win immunities to take him through the danger zone. Hell, I’d even argue he played a perfect game. Dude never had a vote against him, and while he didn’t sweep the jury votes, it was a 16-person jury, and he still got 12 of them! That’s more than the other “perfect games” of J.T., Cochran, and arguably Jeremy. I think the dude deserves to be in the “perfect game” category at least as much as Jeremy does.

With no reunion show to talk over (though regarding the reading of the votes, I must say Michele cleans up nicely), it’s therefore time to talk about the season as a whole. Perhaps ranking it so soon after its end is a fool’s errand, but as a snarky internet blogger, I am duty-bound to do so anyway. That said, this is one of the hardest seasons for me to rank, since there’s more going into it than just a regular season. Do I judge it against the other returnee seasons? They keep talking about this as a “legends” season, should I judge based on my preconceptions of what that is, or what we got? Should how well it honors “Survivor” history be a factor? Or should I just judge it like any other season, based on how I feel and what seasons I feel similarly about? But isn’t that doing this season a disservice? After all, even if the execution was not “legendary”, the premise is. Do I then create a separate category for this season? Well, that just doesn’t seem fair to the other seasons, then.

Let me preface what I’m about to say with this: “Survivor Winners at War” is a good season. I daresay it belongs in the top half of “Survivor” seasons, easy. It had more heart, more genuine emotional moments than pretty much any other season, and it milked the unique premise for all it was worth. There were some stumbling blocks. The back half of the season in particular had issues. The outcome seemed fairly obvious, even if the path there wasn’t, and while the Edge of Extinction was indeed more tolerable on this season, having 19 people throughout the entire season really stretched the time limits, and made everything feeling rushed and unexplained. But for me, the big problem with this season is the marketing. Over and over, we hear about how this is a “Legendary” season, with the best to ever play. I’ll agree the PREMISE is legendary, but I don’t feel the gameplay was. I hear “Legendary” season, and I think of something like “Survivor Micronesia” or “Survivor Cambodia”. A season where, with little to no push from production, new and innovative strategies are brought forth, with unpredictability from week to week as to who goes. This season definitely had decent strategy. No marks against it in that category. But “legendary”? This just felt like pretty standard strategizing for a season of “Survivor” at this point. Nothing new really came from the players, save for the occasional person like Tony changing up their game. On a macro level? All pretty much standard. The only new dynamics came from the fire tokens, and while I’m ok with them as a twist, the fact that they come from production dampens their appeal, and thus they don’t feel like the “Legendary” strategy I felt we were promised. Even more insulting when you consider Probst, talking in this very episode, about “Putting the best of the best out there and letting them go at it.” If that’s what you wanted THEN WHY DID YOU PUT SO MUCH FOCUS ON THINGS OTHER THAN THE STRATEGY OF THE RETURNEES? Oh sure, we had some moments that could be called “Legendary”, but they were all either related to the emotions of the game, or just due to everyone trying to be respectful for the milestone season. The post-Tribal Council hug was a good example of this. It’s good, sure, but it’s not what you come to “Survivor” for. Then again, should marketing count against a season? It’s not related to the game itself, but intrinsically linked to the experience. That’s why this season is so hard for me to rank.

I considered a lot of places to put this season. I considered ranking it around All-Stars, as sort of polar opposites (All-Stars does a good job paying tribute to the history of “Survivor” while being painful to watch; Winners at War vice versa). I considered ranking it around Ghost Island, since I feel both share a major flaw (the outcome was obvious and it felt like no one did anything to stop it when they had the power to do so). However, both of these rankings felt wrong. Too low for a season that gave us such a different and overall enjoyable experience. For being such a different animal, I considered ranking it alongside Borneo, as both feel like they don’t belong with the rest of the seasons. That felt too high though, as again, Borneo is legend, and I’m sorry, but this season isn’t. In the end, in order to find a ranking I was satisfied with, I distilled this season down to its greatest strength, and its most prominent flaw, marketing aside. For strength, this season, by virtue of its premise, gave us new interpersonal dynamics and hyped up the emotion of the show, while still feeling genuine. On the downside, this season was bogged down by a twist that didn’t need to be there, and took up enough time that the latter half of the season in particular felt rushed. Thus, for me, this season falls just below “Survivor Blood vs. Water” in my season rankings. Both seasons that are objectively good, but dragged down by an objectively bad twist that did not need to be there. It’s a close call which I would rank higher, but given that “Survivor Blood vs. Water” gave us new players to return on later seasons, thus keeping the dynamics more fresh, I’m inclined to give it the edge. Until I change my mind again.

Well, with all that business out of the way, let’s see how much of an idiot I am, and compare my pre-season assessment of the players to how they actually did!

ETHAN-While not as high-and-mighty as I feared he might be, the dude was an early boot, and just couldn’t get in the groove he needed to make it deep. I’ll give myself the win on this one.

SANDRA-Again, right. Not given the time of day, and out earlier than ever before. Mad respect for sticking to her guns with her opinion of the Edge of Extinction, though.

AMBER-Well, she was the first one voted out of her tribe, and with Natalie re-entering the game, was TECHNICALLY the first boot, so again, I think I can fairly give myself this victory.

DANNI-Wrong. I’m still not sure exactly what happened, but the cool and collected stealth bomber of Guatemala was replaced with someone who seemed out of their depth. No disrespect to Danni, though. Hope this doesn’t dampen future Guatemala returnee prospects, though.

YUL-Wrong. Dude just had to let his nerd flag fly, and get voted out earlier than I thought possible for it.

PARVATI-While she didn’t return, and was much less cutthroat than I expected, she still went out about when I thought she would.

BOSTON ROB-He was kind of a shield, but he still went out earlier than I thought, and was never really in any sort of power. Can’t really say I was right about him.

SOPHIE-My lucky guess paid off. She was able to fit in quite well, and made it almost exactly as far as I thought. Sometimes I amaze even myself.

KIM-Wrong. That charm couldn’t keep her off the bottom, or get her into power. She’s still one of the most dominant winners ever, though.

DENISE-Wrong. If there could have been an under-the-radar winner this season, it would have been her.

TYSON-His threat level was higher than I though, and he was out earlier than I expected as a result. Another one for the “Wrong” column.

TONY-Wrong. For all that I don’t like the hype that’s built around him, dude did change up his game in the ways he needed to, something I’ll admit I thought impossible for him to do. Mad respect.

NATALIE-I knew pairs would be targeted this season, but I didn’t expect her to be the first casualty of that by a long shot. She was quite good at the Edge of Extinction, though.

JEREMY-He used his shields, but with less success, and went out post-merge. I slightly underestimated him, but was overall still right, I’d say.

MICHELE-While not eliminated per say, she still made it about as far as I thought she could. I’ll give myself this one.

ADAM-I called his personality, but he stuck around far longer than I would have thought he would.

SARAH-She had a real shot at winning, and made the very late merge. Yep, that’s wrong on all counts!

BEN-A much hotter commodity than I gave him credit for. Like Adam, I think I nailed his personality, but was wrong on how long he would be in the game.

WENDELL-Right with no qualifiers, for once.

NICK-Wrong. Dude hung in a lot longer than I though.

And there you have it, the last “Idol Speculation” of the season. And, contrary to Probst’s optimism, probably the last one you’re going to get for a while, given filming delays due to COVID-19. But that doesn’t mean you’ll see me go quiet! I’d like to get “Survivor Retrospectives” going again to tide us over, and I’ve got even more ideas for “Survivor What-Ifs” Plus a couple of special one-offs to help tide us over until we get another hit of the sweet, sweet, “Survivor” juice, whenever that may be.

And, of course, for the last time this season, I ask you to identify the quote that made the title of this blog. Post the name of the contestant and the season the quote came from in the comments of this blog, and I’ll be sure to include your name at the top of the next regular “Idol Speculation”, whenever it finally comes back. A friendly reminder that I only use quotes from US seasons of “Survivor”. And with that, I bid you good night.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 13: Slash, Burn, and Salt the Earth

Congratulations to user AubreyDeservedToLoseKaohRong for correctly identifying the last blog’s title quote as coming courtesy of Cirie Fields, circa “Survivor Micronesia”!

As we’ve got a two-hour episode (more or less) to cover, we skip any sort of clever introduction, and start right off with the fallout from the previous Tribal Council. Jeremy laments to the universe that he’s always the target, and wonders why this is. Well, Jeremy, perhaps it’s because you’re a likable challenge threat with a ton of friends on the jury. Shield strategy or not, that fact doesn’t change, and having now one with that strategy only makes it more obvious. I understand a bit of self-pity given the situation, but at least be realistic self-pity.

More pressing is the 50/50 advantage that Jeremy is still holding. Michele asks for it back, and Jeremy unsurprisingly acquiesces. I can definitely see some people calling it a bad move, particularly given how this half of the episode works out, but honestly Jeremy had no choice here. Even if he stubbornly held onto the advantage, he loses his only true ally in doing so, giving him no bargaining power, and at best a SHOT at safety for one Tribal Council. Better to give it back and try and work something else out.

Bamboo shots echo in the morning, and a cut to Ben might have you believe we’re back on “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” and about to have an emotional moment. The emotion will be there, but not from Ben. Instead, Denise has found her moment of zen, talking about wanting tattoos of “Endure” and “Let Go”, one on each hand, to help symbolize her desire to keep going in this game, but her acceptance if it doesn’t work out. She settles for painting it on a board instead, which is probably the longer smart-term decision. Probst is probably cursing right now that he never became a licensed tattoo artist so he could boat out to camp and offer to tattoo Denise on the spot.

In keeping with the theme of humanizing moments, we cut to Jeremy and Tony having an argument about how many days are in a week. Yes, really. This is a point of contention in the world of Tony. He considers the week the work week, while Jeremy counts the weekend. I would point out how stupid this is of Tony, but it’s clear from their demeanor that the two are just having fun, bringing up the traditional cop/firefighter rivalry you sometimes hear about. It’s all in good fun, and like Denise’s moment earlier, really helps humanize the contestants.

Strategy is never far from Tony’s mind, however, and so he and Sarah go off to talk about who should go next. Tony wants to keep Jeremy around as a number, and is worried if he goes that the “hyenas” will come after players like himself. Geez, I thought we’d killed this metaphor! Look, I understand what Tony’s getting at, but I’m tired of the talk of “lions and hyenas”. There’s just only so far you can go with that metaphor, and I want some variety. I like “The Lion King” as much as the next guy, but there are limits, people! The pair eventually settle on Nick, as he doesn’t have them as part of his endgame strategy, and as a consensus boot. The trouble with this is that Ben really wants Jeremy out, and as Sarah puts it, Ben needs to be in the driver’s seat at least some of the time, or he’ll betray them out of sheer frustration. Thus, she talks to Ben, trying to convince him that HE wants to vote out Jeremy. At least, that’s what she TELLS us she does. What we see is her outlining the reasons Nick needs to go, rather than letting Ben come to that conclusion on his own, thinking it was his idea. Still, it seems to work, partly because Ben is not as emotional a player as others make him out to be. Ben is on board, and the plan is set. The only way this could possibly go wrong is if Nick wins immunity.

Shock of all shocks, this challenge plays to Nick’s strengths! Players must toss a ball into a gutter, then race underneath said gutter to catch the ball, with trip bars along the way. They then dig under a post to get to a slide puzzle, which they must solve to win immunity and two fire tokens. This is where Tony’s win streak comes to an end, I fear. Puzzles have always been his Achilles’ heel. Remember that one slide puzzle where he just slid any piece he could with no rhyme or reason? Probst certainly does, and will bring it up over and over like Tony is Will Wahl (“Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”), and the puzzle is alcohol. To his credit, Tony has at least improved his puzzle technique, if not his results, working slowly and methodically. Nick still wins, but it’s a further testament to how Tony has changed up his game from the first time out. Kudos for that. We even get in one more humanizing moment, with the whole tribe going in to comfort Michele, the only one who couldn’t get to the puzzle, and breaks down crying because of it. This might seem odd until you remember that a string of immunity wins helped propel Michele to her original victory. It’s one thing she has to be proud of, and having such a big loss as a result can only be devastating.

Also, say what you will about this season, but it has bucked the recent trend of immunity winners being irrelevant. Granted, we now have the equally predictable “The person who needs immunity wins it.” trend, but at least it’s different.

Back at camp, we initially settle on a consensus boot of Denise, thereby assuring us that Denise will survive this Tribal Council. After all, when this season was the first name thrown out the name anyone actually went with? No, the issue here seems to be that, while Ben has a final three deal with Sarah and Tony, he also sees Denise as a number for himself, and doesn’t want her to go. Ok, when did Denise become a number for Ben? Moreover, when did Ben get into a final three deal with Sarah and Tony? I’ll tell you when. Pregame alliances. Word on the street is that Ben in particular is someone everyone wanted to align with coming back, and so he was a part of a number of deals. Denise falls into a similar category. All this is fine, except that it makes these narratives seem to come out of nowhere. Suddenly these people are aligned, and the show acts like they’ve always been aligned, even though it was never shown until now. And I’m not naive; I know that pretty much every returnee season has some form of pregame alliance going in, but at least those seasons made an EFFORT to conceal it. They gave us some reason, however cockamamie, that the alliance came together. That’s far more than what I can say we got here. Yes, folks, even with a two hour episode, we STILL leave out crucial information. Don’t get me wrong: what we got in exchange, particularly the emotional, private moments with the players, is great. But this should not be an either/or situation, particularly with the extra-long episode.

Getting back to the strategizing, the reluctant decision is made to go for Jeremy, splitting the vote (guys for Jeremy, girls for Michele) to ensure that the 50/50 advantage doesn’t screw anything up. But then Ben tries to get cute. He wants to make absolutely sure that Michele does not play her advantage on Jeremy, and so decides to pit them against each other. He tells Jeremy to ask Michele for her advantage, then privately tells Michele that Jeremy is after her and will ask for her advantage to make her vulnerable. On paper, this is actually a fantastic plan. Cover your bases, and make the person you most want to go home go home. Artfully done, it can work wonders. Look how Ken Hoang (“Survivor Gabon”) effectively turned Sugar against Ace with a similar move. The flaw here is that this sort of move requires artistry, and Ben, as we’ve established, is not subtle. Ken Hoang he ain’t. Jeremy and Michele of course compare notes about the obvious ploy, and so set things in motion against Ben. With the way the split vote will work tonight, they just need one guy to turn against the group to gain the upper hand. Nick is their go-to guy, pitching the Ben vote out.

Nick thus finds himself in the swing vote position, and really has no wrong choice. On the surface, Ben would seem the obvious choice to go. Nick wants to be in with Tony, but with the final three deal we talked about earlier, Nick’s only shot at that is to take out Ben. Plus, it takes out an idol with him, making for less confusion, as Nick points out. However, Nick’s not necessarily going to see it that way, and for perfectly legitimate reasons. He presumably doesn’t know about either the final three deal or the idol, and so voting out Ben is merely voting out an annoyance. Meanwhile, you’ve pissed off several people for betraying them, and find yourself in a 3-3 split rather than a solid majority. Granted, Denise probably flips back with you, Michele, and Jeremy in that scenario because she’s not stupid, but still, no need to rock the boat unnecessarily. Again, hindsight is 20/20, and I’m sure many will say that Nick did a dumb tonight, but for my money, both decisions were a good one for him.

Like so many before it, this Tribal Council is a good microcosm for this episode as a whole. What it lacks in excitement it makes up for in heart. We don’t get the theatrics we’ve become accustomed to on this season. Indeed, even Probst comments on how subdued things are. The stand-out moment, then, is Probst talking with everyone about their PTSD, and trouble trusting once they come back from the game. Ben, Jeremy, and Nick all give very moving speeches about how hard it was to trust anyone when they returned from the game. Again, it goes a long way towards humanizing these contestants, and shows us a side of them we don’t normally get to see. I’m all for it. That, plus good mystery as to who goes, gets this Tribal Council a good grade from me. Michele uses her 50/50 advantage on herself, which I applaud her for doing. In these uncertain times, it’s the only smart move, but one that doesn’t ultimately help her much, as we’re about to see.

In the end, Nick decides to go with what the audience knows is the worse move, but the better one from Nick’s perspective. Yes, Jeremy is gone, and while I like the guy, I can’t say I’m too sorry. The trouble was just how much his name kept coming up. If this storyline came up over and over again, we’d eventually become numb to it. Jeremy left at just the right time to keep his boot interesting. He unsurprisingly wills his tokens to Michele, and then heads to the Edge of Extinction.

Koru, following that performance, decides to show us the entire emotional spectrum. On the one hand we have Tony and Jeremy giddily celebrating a successful move pulled off. The fact that they each have an idol is a plus, as now they’ve got even further safety. Contrast with Michele, who decides to give us a crash course in “pissed off”. She literally states that she wondered if Nick would have “The balls” to come and talk to her. Strong language, Michele! Children watch this show! In all seriousness, Michele has some good insight here, pointing out that Nick now effectively has no way to the end. He may not have seen the Ben-Sarah-Tony final three deal, but Michele certainly has, and with no bargaining chip to sway Denise, their options are limited.

Thus, Michele does what I wished the entire tribe of Zapatera would do for the post merge of “Survivor Redemption Island”, and throw caution to the winds. With basically no prospects, she decides to wear her heart on her sleeve, and hope to stir up enough resentment at camp to make something happen. A risky strategy, but with the majority seeming to be this solid, I’m not sure Michele has a better recourse. Sarah becomes Michele’s primary target, mostly because she rises to the bait so easily. The pair get into an argument, and just when I think Michele might be going a bit far, she dials it back and brings up a good point. She notes that Tony is the one seen to be in the driver’s seat, and so will be the one to win in the end. Sarah counters that he’s not the only one, but Michele correctly points out that perception is all that matters (hence Adam’s win on “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X” despite very few of his plans actually working), and Tony is the one seen to be calling the shots. An avenue of conversation that might not have opened up had Michele not goaded Sarah into an argument. Sarah takes this information… and runs straight to Tony with it. Ok, I know Tony has been playing well overall this season, but why is everyone around him acting like an idiot! I could understand giving him a pass when he was keeping himself calm, but when he started going back to his usual mode of operation? And now seeming to be playing circles around everyone? Why is Tony only NOW being brought up as a target? It’s not like everyone knows about his idol. There’s no reason NOT to target him when he’s immune.

Sigh. We cut over to the Edge of Extinction, get our moment of zen with Ethan and Yul meditating, before cutting over to our scavenger hunt for the day. The clue indicates that everyone should look for a “Throne of Stone”, which sounds like something out of Authurian Legend. Surprised they didn’t save that one for a season with Coach on it. Wendell gets out into a lead in the race for it, but Natalie uses her superior knowledge of the island to locate the correct rock. I’ve said before, and I will say again: Natalie is KILLING the Edge. She seems to have found her element, and is holding up surprisingly well given her length of time out of the game. Natalie’s advantage is another one to sell to a player. Basically, the player who buys it can hold someone up in the immunity challenge. Who gave the disadvantage will remain anonymous, but this late in the game, such things do not come cheap. The player it is ultimately given to, Nick (there’s a bit of debate, but as those on the Edge see those left as one big glob with no real animosities, it’s simply a matter of “who can give us the most fire tokens”) is charged 8 tokens, outpacing the six he has. Tony’s broke, meaning Nick turns to Michele. Her elation on hearing he has an advantage turns to disappointment when she hears exactly what it is. After all, it can’t exactly make someone immune. However, since there’s not much else to spend them on, Michele coughs up the tokens. Nick says he’d like to use the disadvantage against someone who would take it poorly, and likely cause chaos at camp. I’d personally go for Tony, in that case.

At our challenge, we find out that Ben got the disadvantage. Not a bad call for causing chaos, and given that Nick has taken over Jeremy’s mantle of “Hating Ben”, I can understand the temptation. That said, I think Nick is going to wish he had given it to Jeremy, for reasons that will become clear after the challenge. The challenge itself? The domino chain challenge first seen on “Survivor Gabon”, with this particularly lame iteration coming courtesy of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. A flat platform, and only leg trip wires for the platform. This challenge was much cooler when it was, you know, challenging.

Case in point, this challenge is so easy that Ben, who had his platform lengthened due to the disadvantage, still managed to come in a close second. And Ben is not exactly known for his dexterity or ease of movement. Who does win? Why Michele of course, continuing once again the trend of the person needing immunity winning it this season. Michele makes a point of noting that no one claps for her win, leading to belated, half-hearted clapping. Good social observation there, Michele. I mean that sincerely.

This is why giving the disadvantage to Ben (who does try and find out who gave it to him, but was rebuffed by Probst) is a problem for Nick. Ben was so close on that challenge, it’s fair to say he would have won but for that disadvantage. If he wins, Michele most likely goes home. However, with Michele winning, Nick is now the primary target. He’s oddly happy about it, since he sees it as something happening in the game. Guess the poor guy really can’t read the room, can he? He certainly can’t see through Denise, who makes a big show about being the obvious target, and just wants a full meal of rice before leaving, offering to spend her remaining tokens on more rice. Can’t fault that, since Probst said today was the last day for them to spend tokens on anything. Denise tells us, though, that she’s running a false flag operation, and the plan is to go for Nick. Fair enough, but I have to say, I think she oversold it. The others seem to buy it, though, so good for her.

With Nick now firmly in the hot seat, what could give us some mystery? Why, Denise ACTUALLY becoming a target, of course. Tony once again returns to his spying roots, and it pays off. Denise, Sarah, and Ben all have a conversation at the water well, where Denise proposes a final three deal between them. She correctly argues that Tony is unbeatable at at the end. We don’t see how they react, because we have to follow Tony. He correctly surmises that this means Denise is a threat, and needs to be taken care of. He and Sarah discuss the possibility of actually going against Denise tonight. Definitely a threat to be aware of, but with someone from Edge of Extinction on the horizon to return, I’d say it’s too risky to pull off tonight. Trustworthy or not, Denise is a loyal number for now, which is more than can be said for Nick. Vote her out, and it’s all too easy for the Edge of Extinction returnee to strike up a final three deal with Nick and Michele. It’s beneficial for all involved. Thus, you must risk a rock draw, and while Tony and Ben have idols, why take a risk you don’t need to? With Denise still in the game, the Edge of Extinction returnee has nowhere to go. Granted, this overheard conversation does mean that for Tony, Denise needs to go sooner rather than later, just perhaps not at the final six. And no, I’m not just talking as a Denise fan here.

Tribal Council is once again subdued, and with good misdirection, but unlike the first, there really is no stand-out moment. We do get a good dissection of Denise’s vernacular in her attitude towards the game at this point, but that’s to be expected. Unexpectedly, Nick goes home, probably the first time this season the obvious boot went home. I’m not sorry to see Nick go. He was never one of my favorite winners, and this episode really drove home how out of his depth he was. The man was just completely unaware.

We cut to the Edge one final time, as Amber gives a fairly touching bittersweet farewell, capped off with everyone cheering “See you never, Edge!”Nick talks about wanting to win his way back in, but that will be an uphill battle. You see, you need fire tokens for advantages in the challenge and Nick, now voted out, has none. A few players, like Boston Rob, Tyson, Yul, and Parvati are able to buy themselves an advantage in the challenge, but they pale in comparison to Natalie’s three, plus an idol, due to her whopping 14 tokens! And that’s not all! Remember those idols she and Rob bought for the previous challenge? Those are still good! So Natalie actually buys an idol FOR TYSON! WHAT?

Ok, this is the one thing this episode that really pisses me off. Why are those idols still good? They were paid for for the initial challenge! After that they should be done! Kaput! Start from scratch. Make like on the Edge, and coming back from it, challenging! You know, CHALLENGE? THAT THING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE EDGE OF EXTINCTION? REMEMBER THAT? Yeah, show, you’re really not selling yourself well that this is anything but an excuse to keep from losing early favorites.

Our last 10 minutes or so are devoted to a recap of the season, and a preview of what’s to come. When I saw this I was initially annoyed, feeling like we were cheated out of other content, but since this is usually done for the finale, I can’t be too mad. I will be if they do it again at the start of the next episode, but if not, I’m ok with losing 10 minutes of this episode to gain 10 minutes of the next one.

Speaking of gained minutes, that’s really the crux of what I have to say about this episode. If there’s one problem plaguing the show since the post-merge, it’s lack of time. Everything feels squished and condensed with so many people left in the game, and storylines and alliances just seem to come out of nowhere. Take Natalie giving Tyson an idol. Why Tyson? When did they specifically bond beyond just being two more people on the Edge of Extinction? We saw more of Natalie and Parvati together than Natalie and Tyson. Why did Natalie not buy an extra idol for Parvati? For that matter, when did Ben, Sarah, and Tony form a final three deal? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Ahem… Anyway, point is that I’m not sure how long an episode needs to be in order for the story to make sense, but two hours clearly isn’t enough. Still, this episode did give us good heartwarming moments, and even bits of levity, which have so far been this season’s biggest strengths. I’ll get into this more next week when I discuss the season as a whole, but this has been a strange season, to say the least.

Normally this is where I’d talk about who is most and least likely to win at this point, but like on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, I feel like I can’t do that. The returnee from the Edge changes so much, it seems a disservice to do so now. So, why not do what I did for that season, and list my most likely people to come back from the Edge? Simple. There’s not ranking to it. It’s going to be Natalie. Three advantages aside, she’s got the narrative of thriving on the Edge since the beginning, and has shown even in this episode that she’s still challenge dominance material. So no, no one else has a shot. It’s Natalie. Natalie. Natalie. Natalie.

Natalie is not the person who gave us this blog’s title, however, and it’s up to you to find the correct person! In the comments, give me the name of the person who gave us this week’s quote, and what season the quote was said on. The first person to do so gets their username posted at the top of this blog. I will see you in a week to talk about the finale, and the season as a whole.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 12: Little Ozlettes

Congratulations to user bwburke94 for correctly identifying last episode’s blog title as coming courtesy of Devon Pinto of “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new show topper. As befits a “Legends” season such as this, we have referenced an element of seasons past, but done it to a greater extreme than we have in the past. I’m talking, of course, about the area of romance. We’ve seen the loving relationship between Boston Rob and Amber develop of the course of “Survivor All-Stars”. We’ve seen the multiple PDA’s of Amanda and Ozzy on “Survivor Micronesia”. We’ve seen countless contestants, as Malcolm Freberg so eloquently put it on “Survivor Philippines”, “Go booty blind.” But now, we have a love story to trump them all. I’m talking, of course, about the romance blooming between Ben and Tony. Look at them, ladies and gentleman! That is a full-on bridal carry we’re seeing from the happy couple! If that isn’t the epitome of love, I don’t know what is!

Don’t believe me? Despite being blindsided at the last vote, Ben takes everything in stride. He compliments Tony on a blindside well put-together, and asks for an explanation. While Ben does later admit to not trusting Tony, this is actually about as good a reaction overall, and I need to give the guy credit for it. Lord knows Jeremy won’t. The man once again goes on about how Ben was once his ride-or-die, but is now not even talking to him. Tony also gets in on the action, saying that Ben took the blindside poorly. Is there just something we’re not seeing here? From what I’m getting, it looks like Ben is a pretty textbook example of how to handle a blindside.

Contrast with Sarah, who clearly shows us how NOT to handle a blindside. Sarah tells us that before talking to Tony, she told herself to calm down and not fly of the handle. This is immediately contrasted with her constant swearing, along with her and Tony talking over each other heatedly. While neither burns the bridge completely, as both want to continue working with the other, neither fully trusts the other at this point. This sends Tony in particular into a panic, forcing him to come clean to Ben about his idol to build trust. Ben admits that he doesn’t fully return Tony’s trust, but isn’t ready to throw him out just yet. Jeremy needs to go first.

Speaking of Jeremy, we get to see more of Ben’s supposed “hatred” of him the following morning. Jeremy asks Ben how he slept. Ben responds “Good”, and goes to have a wash in the ocean. Jeremy complains to Kim, along with pretty much anyone within earshot, about how this means that Ben can’t stand him, let alone hold a polite conversation! The evidence is there to see! He… answered your question then went off to do something that’s a part of many people’s morning routines… Ok, Jeremy, I’m really not getting the “Ben hates you.” vibe you’re saying is there. Maybe it’s just because of how obvious his animosity was towards Adam back when Adam was still in the game, but it really seems like Ben is at worst indifferent to Jeremy. Jeremy tries to set Kim on the anti-Ben path, but Kim has other ideas. Kim is still not happy to have Tony in the game, especially given the connection between him and Sarah that is becoming more obvious by the day. As such, she wants him gone, and so starts talking up the idea to some people.

More on that later, though, as we have to go over to the Edge of Extinction! Yes, why delve deeper into the tribe dynamics of the players still in the game, particularly when they aren’t named Tony, when we could talk about the people who managed to get themselves voted out! Hell, we don’t even spend any time on the “toughness” of Edge of Extinction, as we’re too busy earning fire tokens. In a callback to the log-moving challenge which Ethan makes blatant, everyone must move a pile of coconuts from the back of the island to their shelter, one coconut at a time. Not a bad challenge to call back to, but this one is a definite downgrade. While I get making the challenge easier by removing the vertical element, since it cause medical to come out for Ethan, making it a race is a move I can’t get behind. When you had the focus be on endurance, you could follow individual stories, and get involved in the individual struggles as each player worked to accomplish the goal. By making it a race, the interest now comes in who’s ahead and behind, something hard to follow in a marathon, particularly one without clearly defined paths to follow. As such, we’re mostly told who is and isn’t doing well, with some individual stories sprinkled in there. Adam, of course, acknowledges that he is not cut out for this challenge, though the show feels the need to rub salt in the wound by cutting back to him having trouble over and over. One confessional would have been enough. Boston Rob gets an early lead, but manages to take a bad fall and damage his elbow, causing no small amount of bleeding. Still, the man finishes the challenge, even if he doesn’t place. According to him and Amber, this is to show that he “never gives up”. Because that was ever in doubt? Natalie and Sophie finish first and second, respectively. Unsurprising for Natalie at this point, but good for Sophie. Yes, she had a few challenge wins under her belt from “Survivor South Pacific”, and yes, she was probably better fed than most anyone left, but even so, a second place finish is quite impressive, especially over some of the athletes on the Edge of Extinction. Yul comes in third, while Tyson and Parvati take a combined fourth place. The only real “race” is between Danni and Wendell for sixth, which Wendell takes. All winners earn two fire tokens, which is good for them, but I feel that better scenes could have been had back at the camp.

Or perhaps not, as what we’re treated to at the Koru camp is Tony’s advertised “Spy Nest”. It’s underwhelming to say the least. Even if you’re not a big fan of the Spy Shack or the Spy Bunker, you can at least admire the effort that went into making them. The “Spy Nest” is… Tony climbing a tree. A decent feat of strength, to be sure, but not on the same level as the previously mentioned spy hideouts. To add insult to injury, the only person we see him encounter is Sarah, who knows that he’s there, and tells him to get down. He does, but the two still have an argument on the beach regarding the previous vote. Nick overhears this, and takes it as his cue to start whittling down the threats, and make an end-game alliance for himself. Said end-game alliance turns out to be himself, Michele, and Denise, a sort of “level playing field” as Michele calls it. Got to admit, the alliance isn’t a bad idea of any of them. Since the alliance is fundamentally anti-Tony, it gives Nick and Michele something to boast about in the endgame, while giving Denise a chance to coast, and hope her ouster of Sandra is enough to net her the win. They bring in Kim and Ben as a fourth and fifth, mostly because of also being anti-Tony. This ramps up the strategy discussion, as pretty much everyone but Jeremy and Sarah (and Tony, of course) is now on board to get rid of Tony. Nick in particular is an impressive swing. I’d have said Sarah before Tony, given who he’s blindsided and not blindsided so far. But hey, kudos to Nick for not being too tied down in this game.

This interesting strategy is then interrupted by an idol hunt. Again. Maybe the people who complain about idols have a point. At first it just seems like a Tony and Ben hunt, but then most everyone else joins in. I must admit, while this episode does not have the same humor as the last one, Nick returning to a significant knot in a tree and saying “It’ll be here one of these days.” got a chuckle out of me. We do take time out of the hunt to clarify Ben’s position on Tony. While Ben does open up a bit more to Tony, saying that Kim his after him, he doesn’t give away the whole alliance, showing that he’s willing to work with Tony, but doesn’t fully trust him. This is further proven by Ben trying to hide his idol find from Tony, which doesn’t work. Ben comes clean, and the pair celebrate, the actual reason behind the aforementioned “bridal carry”. So help me, I already used the “chocolate and peanut butter” quote for a previous blog, and the “Ozlettes” confessional is one of my favorites! I just had to use it!

Oh, right, I suppose I should explain how the chocolate and peanut butter thing plays in. Our immunity hallenge today is “When it Rains, it Pours” from “Survivor Africa”. you may remember this as the challenge where people have to stand with their hand above their head, and attached to a bucket. Falling or dropping the hand leads to a soaking, with the last person standing winning immunity, and in this case, fire tokens. Also, the last man and woman standing each win immunity Because that makes so much sense this late in the game, and in now way detracts from the victory. Still, this challenge is a classic we hadn’t seen in a while, and definitely deserving of being on an all-winners season. Shame none of the people who’d played this challenge before could play, but oh well.

Ah, but this challenge is tougher, for you see, now you cannot support yourself with your other hand! OOOH! Ok, to be fair, this definitely DOES make the challenge tougher, I just don’t think it’s quite the game changer Probst does.

Of course, this challenge is best known as one that regularly offers food temptations. Ben requests chocolate and peanut butter, though he does not go full Jenna Morasca and Heidi Strobel and offer to strip for it. Indeed, Ben misses out, with Kim and Michele stepping down. This hands Denise immunity as Sarah had previously dropped. As for the men, the temptation is there for both Nick and Tony, the two men left. Tony, however, is determined to continue his win streak, and Nick’s drop out is bought at the price of one fire token. A move he will later regret, but it’s too late to take back. This, once again, means our first episode half is almost entirely focussed on Tony, and once again, is mostly pointless. Now to be fair, this episode does do a much better job than the last one, as there ARE plot points already established that don’t specifically revolve around Tony. Jeremy and Ben’s feud, along with the formation of the Nick-Michele-Denise alliance are both such points, and both help buoy this episode up. Plus, I can’t fault the show for focussing on Tony, since he is such a big character.

Really, my issue with the Tony focus this episode is less because it makes for a bad episode or because it’s undeserved, but really because it’s a disservice to everyone else left. Look, Tony is a big character, even an enjoyable one, but to focus on him to the exclusion of others is really a detriment. As “Survivor Samoa” demonstrated, it takes more than one player to make for a good season. And while the other players have their moments in their own right, it feels at times like there’s Tony, and then there’s everyone else. Part of that is just sheer energy level. It’s hard to compete with Tony in that department. The issue is not with showing Tony. The issue is with showing him to the exclusion of everyone else. This is a LEGENDS season. These are all great players. We should be getting ALL their highlights. Despite my earlier comparison to “Survivor Samoa”, I think “Survivor Ghost Island” might be the more apt comparison here. You see, “Survivor Samoa” had a weak cast overall, so it made sense to focus more on Russell Hantz than anyone else. “Survivor Ghost Island” had an interesting cast throughout, but instead mostly focussed on Wendell and Domenick to the exclusion of all others. Again, this is a LEGENDS season. These people must be giving you some good bits. You can still show the highlights of Tony, but give us more from the others so it doesn’t just feel like “The Tony Show” all the time. Some people aren’t that big on Tony, or at least want some variety in the show. Not to mention, if you keep teasing the “Tony’s antics catch up with him plot” only for that not to happen, there’s a feeling of letdown. Further, this limits your storyline to one of two outcomes: Either Tony wins, in which case the focus on him makes sense, but makes your conclusion way too obvious (“Survivor Ghost Island” at least had the benefit of some mystery of who would win out between Domenick and Wendell), or Tony loses, and this plotline is being dragged out at the expense of the other players.

Ok, ok, rant over. There’s actually good stuff in this episode, so let’s talk about it. With Tony immune Nick and Kim admit that their plan to get him out is now “on the back burner.” As such, they must decide on a new target. Sarah would be the obvious choice, but Kim has a bond with Sarah, and so doesn’t want her to go. Thus, we default to Jeremy, who seems to be the consensus boot. Only Michele expresses any disappointment at needing to vote him out, and as she herself admits, there’s not a lot she can do. We need misdirection, though, and in comes Tony to provide. Ben opens up to Tony a bit more, and admits that Nick was in on the plan to get him out. He also says that Kim is still rallying the troops. Tony does the logical thing and checks in with Nick, who gives the worst performance of the episode, feigning a memory lapse as to why he didn’t talk to Tony. He lets his alliance know about Ben’s slip, but the damage is done. Tony wants Kim out, which he pitches to Jeremy, naturally, but also Ben and Sarah. This… is actually a really smart move on Tony’s part. While Ben is a part of Kim’s alliance, he also has somewhat of a relationship with Tony. And even if he doesn’t want to work with Tony down the road, voting out Kim would effectively give him her place in the alliance, and keep around another player (Jeremy) who can compete with Tony in challenges. If you’re Sarah, well, Tony’s your ally, and thus voting out the player continually targeting him is a good move. Unlike last episode, where there’s room for debate about whether this was a smart or a dumb on Tony’s part, this is clearly a smart. About the only person who might be upset at the ouster of Kim would be Denise, who has a history of not caring if her allies get the axe. Thus, no bridges burnt, unlike last episode.

That said, there’s only four, and Nick’s not budging on voting for Jeremy. Jeremy, for his part, tries to talk Ben around, but to no avail. Salvation seems to come in the form of Michele’s 50/50 advantage, which she gives to Jeremy. A bit of a risk, since she might need it next episode, but again, Michele doesn’t have much incentive to keep Kim around, and if it buys her another close ally (albeit one without any real power) so much the better. Whether or not Jeremy will play it is our mystery as we head off to Tribal Council. Once again, it’s a whisperfest, though one done better than the previous couple we’ve had. There are two key reasons why. One is Probst’s horse-race-like commentary as people start getting up, which was brief, but hilarious. More importantly, we actually get subtitles this time around, thus making the whispering easy to follow. We’re left in the dark on some specifics, to keep up the mystery, but we get a general sense of the movement. Tony is a bit too blaze in talking to Jeremy about doing something, which makes Kim paranoid and start double-checking with everybody. Soon Jeremy and Tony are doing the same, which leads to paranoia about a Sarah vote, and Sarah begging for an idol play. This also brings into focus that Nick and Ben are our swing votes tonight, which will help make the result clearer in a bit. Not the most exciting Tribal Council ever, but a fun, clear journey for once, and brought to a fantastic bookend with Denise shutting everyone up, in a tone that clearly says “I’m about order, and I’ve had enough of this mess.” That said I do have to dock Denise points since it does seem to piss off Jeremy.

In a contrast to our last standoff, no one actually plays an advantage. Tony announces his idol (I’d say Tony did a dumb by revealing that he has an idol, but from what I can gather from the conversations we heard, it was already public knowledge), and intends to play it for Sarah, but Sarah talks him down. Jeremy nearly plays the 50/50 advantage, even getting egged on by Tony, but decides not to. Since we saw even Michele vote for him, I figure this dooms him. Jeremy must have known something we didn’t, though, as he only receives three votes, Kim going home with five. It’s not entirely clear how it happened, but given that Nick and Ben were presented as the swing votes, I’d say they flipped to the side they were more confidant in. Tony may be chaotic, but he is good at projecting the image of confidence, and sometimes on “Survivor”, that’s enough. Kim may not have been the biggest character this season, but she was one of the titans in terms of gameplay from her first season, and that ouster deserves respect. She may never have had a foothold in this game, but like Aubry on “Survivor Game Changers” it’s impressive that she made it this far at all. She splits her three fire tokens between Denise, Sarah, and Michele. Classy.

This season is getting better, though I’m still not satisfied. We’re seeing more of the other players, but overall this still feels like “The Tony Show”. Don’t get me wrong, “The Tony Show” is definitely entertaining, but I came to see “Survivor Winners at War”. I would like to see more people than just Tony. As such, it’s time for another…

TOP 10!

Yes, I normally do “Top 5 and Bottom 5”, but this list does not lend itself to looking at the negatives well. You see, we’ve had a couple of memorable exits this season. From Adam’s “Always” to Sophie’s crotch idol, these people have had exits that stick with us. Granted, Kim’s is not winning any awards, but the next two episodes are extra long, and I’ve been mulling this subject over for a few weeks, so let’s talk about the best exits the show has ever seen.

A couple of ground-rules before we start. One exit per season. I don’t want this list to half come from the current season. “Exit” in this case will refer to anything that happens between Probst saying “I’ll read the votes” and Probst’s final words of wisdom (or fire token willing, if need be). Anything else in that area (idol plays, exit confessionals, Probst’s words of wisdom) deserve lists of their own, and thus will not be considered. Also not considered will be the context of the vote out itself. This is purely the reaction to the votes being read, and the torch snuffing. Only proper vote outs will count. No impromptu Tribal Councils, quits, or Advantagegeddons will be considered. Finally, the reaction can come from anybody, not just the person being voted out. Other than that, anything goes, including placement of the player voted out. No separate lists for first and last vote outs or anything. Let’s get things started with…

10. “No.” (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”)-First entry on the list, and already I’m cheating. Yes, technically idol plays are not considered here, and most of what makes the elimination of Scot Pollard interesting is centered around an immunity idol. That said, the idol was never actually played, and the interaction that makes this so memorable did happen in the time frame specified. With Scot and Jason being such cocky villains, seeing them taken down a peg is just so satisfying. Their looks of dejection just make this a very satisfying exit to watch. Plus, there is hilarity in seeing Probst dwarfed by a contestant. I keep it this low since it more a reaction to a lack of an idol play than a vote, but still a fun moment nonetheless.

9. “I’ve been Bamboozled!” (“Survivor All-Stars”)-From the beginning of “Survivor All-Stars”, it was clear that Richard Hatch had zero cares. He knew he wasn’t going to win, and so was just there to screw with everybody. And what better way to cap it off than with an obviously-faked over the top surprise reaction to a vote he knew was coming? The man even did a little dance on his way out of Tribal Council. Always good for bonus points. It goes a little over-the-top for my taste, but still enjoyable nonetheless.

8. “ONE MINUTE!” (“Survivor Exile Island”)-I was tempted to put the ouster of Dan from this season in this spot, but that one really requires the context of the whole episode to have meaning. Instead, we turn to Shane. Not exactly the most “stable” of contestants, you knew when Shane’s time came, it wasn’t going to go quietly. Sure enough, Shane gave us his characteristic outburst upon leaving, turning back from Probst to rub it in everyone’s faces about how he was going to be eating an ice cream bar soon. Delightfully childish, though admittedly somewhat subdued by Shane’s standards. I expected him to mock the votes as well, and this comparatively underwhelming performance prevents the admittedly memorable final line pre-torch-snuff from landing higher on the list.

7. “DAYUM!” (“Survivor China”)-In most of these cases, the longer the reaction, the better. It’s not enough in most cases to give a pre-snuff speech. You need to talk through the votes as well, or at least have a conversation. Sometimes, though, all it takes is a word, and less is more. Chicken’s “DAYUM” is one well-remembered throughout the “Survivor” fandom, and iconic enough on it’s own to need no further embellishment. Simple and clean is the way that this reaction is.

6. “At least you made the jury.” (“Survivor Cambodia”)-I’m no fan of Abi-Maria’s, but when her snark is directed at a full-of-himself Andrew Savage, I’m much more ok with her. While this is technically related to an idol play, Savage still reacted to the votes with despair, and took his eviction of very few votes with his usual grace and maturity. And by that, I mean he had a bit of a silent tantrum, even flipping off the remaining players as he left. Not very classy, but satisfying to see Savage brought so low after being so high-and-mighty most of the game. If an exit can make me like Abi-Maria, then you know it’s a good one.

5. “Two ‘B’s’ Guys” (“Survivor Thailand”)-Ah, now we get into people commenting on the votes as well as the result. Admittedly, a lot of the impact of the boot of Robb Zbacnik comes from the character development he had gotten over the course of the show. Even without it, though, there’s humor to be found in his need to call out every spelling mistake made with his name. Every. Single. Time. Apparently, the name “Robb” with two “B’s” was just too much for the Sook Jai tribe. Robb, if your reading this, take comfort in that I remembered the second “b” in your name.

4. “Sheep to the Slaughter” (“Survivor Game Changers”)-Tony is known for never shutting up. Sandra is known for never taking an insult lying down. Put these two together, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a memorable exit. Tony’s declaration of the idiocy of his tribemates is nothing new, but Sandra’s need to taunt him as he exits elevates this to a knew level. To use the old cliche, they argue like a married couple. Plus, this was the birth of “Queen stays Queen”, and it deserves respect for that.

3. “Who flipped?” (“Survivor Cagayan”)-Ah yes. Perhaps the most iconic post-vote conversation to come out of the latter half of “Survivor”. You knew Sarah’s boot was going to be on the list somewhere. Tony’s over-the-top reaction to the outcome and imitation of Spencer made this one memorable on its own, but it had so many other great moments. Sarah’s simple inquiry as to who flipped, leading to the slow realization that Kass was here for the Chaos. Spencer’s iconic “0 chance of winning the game.” remark. Kass’ flippant “There’s a lot of game left.” response. All iconic, and all worthy of a spot on this list. The only reason it isn’t higher is because it kind of leaves an unpleasant aftertaste, given the vitriol occasionally directed at Kass.

2. Penner’s Dance (“Survivor Philippines”)-Forgive me for stating the blindingly obvious, but Jonathan Penner does not take anything seriously, least of all his third exit from “Survivor”. Not content with merely mocking Probst, Penner decided to mock the music as well. Dancing his way out of Tribal Council ia always a plus, but he (badly) tried to whistle the usual music that plays over an exit. Then, just when you think he’s gone. He comes back again. And again! Hilarity! It even left Probst at a loss for words; that’s bonus points! So, what keeps it from the top spot? The way it was shot. I know shooting in the dark is hard, but it’s REALLY hard to see Penner’s dance once he gets on the trail out of Tribal Council. I only really saw the full thing in edited pictures with the exposure changed. That made it funny, but shouldn’t be necessary for full enjoyment. That said, there was also his refusal of a hug from Abi-Maria which gets my respect. And yes, this entry is why Sarah Dawson’s kiss didn’t make the list. Had I allowed multiple entries from the same season, it would have been on here for sure.

1. “Scumbags” (“Survivor Guatemala”)-Maybe it’s just my love for “Survivor Guatemala” bleeding through, but this to me is the quintessential “Pissed Off” exit. No rage. Nor breaking of things. No gnashing of teeth. Just quiet, cold fury. You don’t need to see Judd’s rage. you can feel it through your tv screen. All all delivered in the trademark Judd style. Admittedly, no “man” in there, but you can’t have everything. Still iconic nonetheless.

And with that said, it is time to end off this blog. But it is not the end for you! Once again, I’m looking to see who can figure who said the quote this blog draws its title from and the season! Simply comment the name of the person who said this quote, and on what season! First person to do so gets their username listed at the top of the blog. As a reminder, U.S. seasons only, so don’t overtax yourself, and I’ll see you next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 11: That is NOT an Advantage

(This spot reserved for a respondent who correctly guesses the name and season of the player who provided the title quote for the blog).

Subtly, our show starts off showing a shadowy silhouette, sitting silently by the stove. Yes, I know it’s a fire, but “fire” doesn’t start with an “s”. This is Jeremy, eagerly awaiting news of who was voted off. While waiting, he informs us that he was of the philosophy of “don’t leave with an advantage in your pocket”, as well as him getting a bad vibe at the last Tribal Council, hence why he left. I can’t fault either part of that logic, though it still doesn’t change the fact that Jeremy’s name is now “mud” with his alliance. Sure enough, Jeremy can only find out about Tyson’s exit by counting who comes back, as no one is giving him anything. Compounding the issue, Jeremy takes up the mantle of “Adam”, and gets into an argument with Ben over pretty much nothing. Ben keeps mum, and Jeremy gets frustrated. Privately, though, Ben does confirm that Jeremy was the target, meaning he was right to leave. Ben also tells us that his five is solid, and seems like it can ride to the end. If you think this means the winning fivesome is getting through this episode unscathed, then I have some beachfront property in Kansas to sell you…

BOOONG!

Oh, that loud reverberation you just heard through the internet? That we be Probst hitting my “anti-break-in” defense shield. I had it installed after the last former player crashed through my wall. I knew reusing that joke from “Survivor One World” would get Probst running her to blabber on about Kansas, and wanted to test my defenses. Moving on.

Jeremy is not the only one butthurt about this vote, though he is the only one to link it back to “meat shields”. Look, I get that it’s good strategy, but man does it get annoying when he comes back to it over and over again. Kim and Michele are also quite upset. Kim is understandable, of course. She wasted an idol, lost the vote, and is now down in numbers. Not the position anyone wants to be in. But Michele is a bit out of left-field, since an analysis of the votes after the fact tells us Michele actually voted for Tyson, meaning she was on the right side of the votes. Now, this could lead some to argue that the way the votes were split last episode made since, since the minority could not have more than two votes to use (Denise’s vote being stolen, and Michele voting with the majority leaves only Tyson’s and Kim’s votes to worry about). After all, if they had Michele on their side all along, they could only throw two split votes and still be safe. I say if so, they did an exceedingly poor job of showing this, and it doesn’t seem like that was the case. Michele, you see, is very upset at being “left out of the vote”, something that seems odd for someone who voted with the majority. My conclusion, therefore, is that Michele saw which way the wind was blowing, and guessed correctly so as to not be on the wrong side of the vote in terms of numbers. Smart move for Michele, but again, it begs the question of why not split the vote 3-3. Anyway, Michele and Kim stew, but can’t really do too much at this point.

Besides, they don’t have to! Tony is going to do everything for everybody now! Yes, for all that I’ve praised the man for controlling his more manic tendencies, and having improved game performance as a result, one can only hold in that much manic energy for so long, and 27 days is Tony’s breaking point. With an idol played at the last Tribal Council, he figures that one must be hidden again, and so goes looking for it. I’m all prepared to break out my argument from “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, and ask why no one thought to set a guard or a tail, but then Nick comes in to save the day. Yeah, I never thought I’d type those words either. Nick has also got up early for idol hunting, and tries to spoil Tony’s plans. Tony, however, sends him off to hunt by the water well, and gets back to work himself. Jumping ahead a bit, Tony finds the idol, so inarguably his strategy worked. However, Tony sending off Nick isn’t going to get praise that easily. You see, this plan so easily could have gone off the rails. We have no indication that Tony had already searched the water well area, and there is a precedent for idols being held there. Tony might very well have sent Nick off straight to the idol, and screwed himself with that move. He didn’t, obviously, but the potential was there. This is like his move on “Survivor Cagayan”, where he gave Jeremiah a useless idol clue to put a target on his back, only to need to rush back and take back the clue since it could be easily called out as not belonging in the camp. It’s hard to argue with the results, but it so EASILY could have gone awry. This is why I’ve never fully gotten behind the “Tony is a genius” movement. He’s a good player overall, to be sure, and definitely brings the entertainment, but so many of his plans succeed through luck rather than foolproof strategizing that I just can’t give him too much credit for them.

We enter back into the game on a very human moment. As an internet critic, I am therefore obligated to snark at it. What’s that, Sarah? Being smart, fun, AND pretty isn’t enough for you? You need people to know that you’re creative? Having three envious, talented traits isn’t enough for you? Oh, you poor thing! Boo-stinking-hoo!

For all my snark, this is the second-best scene in the entire episode, and then only comes in second to a scene so hilarious it demands your attention. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Sarah has managed to cobble together a clothing line out of the materials they have, and so puts on a fashion show. Michele and Kim work as the models, while Sophie acts as MC, complete with a coconut microphone. It’s not laugh-out-loud funny, but still humorous, and makes up for it in a heartwarming human moment with our players.

Too bad Tony has to ruin it! Continuing on with the “Sarah and Tony rift” storyline that’s been building over the past couple of episodes, Tony snarks at Sarah’s fashion show. She brushes him off, and we instead see how Tony gets his kicks. The answer, apparently, is lying to people’s faces. Tony still wants Jeremy gone, but of course doesn’t want Jeremy to know that and try and pull something. Thus, someone needs to pretend to be a flip vote, and Tony, channeling his newly rediscovered manic energy, agrees to be that person, spinning a lie to Jeremy, Michele, Kim, and Denise about wanting to vote with them, but not being able to until now. Tony admits that he’s not an undercover cop, and so isn’t used to this, but his lie seems enough to convince Jeremy and Michele, since they talk privately about how good this is for them. Less convinced and Kim and Denise, since they’re the smarter of the foursome, and admit to wanting Tony out Good for them.

Over on the Edge of Extinction, we at first seem to be setting up for someone to leave, only for it to just be Tyson giving a very roundabout pep talk to Wendell. Then there’s some shade thrown at Adam, because it’s Tyson, and he can’t get through a sentence without ragging on somebody. Instead, we go to the old “Edge of Extinction” standby of “Sell an Advantage!” Natalie finds a bottle in the sand, with Parvati close behind. The pair find a clue to an advantage. It’s cryptic, but seems to indicate crawling and giving up. Naturally, the pair search as far away from the “give up” sail as it’s possible to go before realizing “It’s under the shelter.” I give them crap, but in all honestly that clue was pretty cryptic. Plus, they now face the challenge of getting everyone out of the shelter when no one has any incentive to do so. Parvati suggesting watching the sunset somehow works, and so Natalie gets the “advantage”. I use quotation marks, because this is really the “Survivor” equivalent of “GIVE US YER CASH!” They give the advantage to a player in the game. That player must pay an amount of fire tokens set by the finders of said advantage, or else not play in the immunity challenge, and not vote at Tribal Council. Steep stakes, especially when one has very little time to pay. Natalie and Parvati now have two considerations: How many fire tokens can they get, and who would be manic enough to try and scrounge up more?

Sure enough, after another heartwarming and humanizing moment where Nick talks about his negative reception during his season (being called “Vampire Donathan”, after Donathan Hurley of “Survivor Ghost Island”, who while a good player I like, I’m AMAZED got brought up on a legends season like this), we jarringly cut to the craziness that is Tony. This, without a doubt, is the funniest and best scene in this episode. Watching Tony’s excitement build and build in that little-kid way that only little kids and Tony can pull off is a delight. Then to see it all come crashing down, and the complete 180 of his mood? The cherry on top of the whole thing.

Natalie and Parvati want six fire tokens, and while they made a good choice of who to extort, the fact remains that Tony only has three tokens, and thus needs to get more. Worse, he needs to do it before the immunity challenge. Then Denise comes in with something called “Tree Mail”. I would tell you what that is, but honestly, I can’t remember the last time we had something called “Tree Mail” on this show. That’s how long it’s been: Even I, the “Survivor” fanatic, can’t rattle off this piece of trivia.

Needless to say, Tony has his work cut out for him. Tony first tries to beg off the people he’s convinced he’s with when he’s not, Michele and Jeremy. Michele, having none to give, spins Tony a lie about an “Extinction Advantage” as to why her tokens are gone. Frankly, it’s cockamamie, and I’m amazed Tony buys it. Live by the flimsy lie, die by the flimsy lie, I suppose. Jeremy is a little more generous, but still only gives one of his two tokens, showing that Jeremy hasn’t bought Tony’s lies quite as much as we think. Tony is able to bum two more off of Nick and Ben, promising to pay them back. Now, this was relatively easy for Tony. As such, you might even think it pointless. We don’t even see Natalie and Parvati buy anything with the tokens. But I say, no. This was a great use of advantages and fire tokens. The best twist play with the social and strategic game, and this definitely did that. Not only is there strategy and social game in play in who gets targeted with the “advantage” (strategy in how many fire tokens to get, social in the potential use of “you screwed me, so I will set an impossibly high cost so that you can’t play in the challenge or vote”), as well as in how you get out of it. Tony had to rely on both his friendships and his lies in order to dig himself out of a hole. A hole he didn’t dig, for once, but a hole nonetheless. Still, for at least having the potential to enhance social and strategic gameplay, this “Extortion Advantage” gets the “Idol Speculation” Seal of Approval. It is anything but pointless.

What IS pointless is our immunity challenge. Oh, not the outcome. Tony wins, and since Denise and Kim were targeting him, this will have some impact. Plus, now Tony can pay back two of his debts, since he won two fire tokens at the challenge as well. This creates a dilemma as to who he does and doesn’t pay back. After all, one person will be pissed no matter what, since they know Tony has fire tokens. We won’t see this dilemma play out or get resolved, but rest assured, it’s there. No, Tony winning makes the episode so far almost entirely pointless. You see, this episode had REALLY been playing up the “Tony goes back to his old ways and crashes for it.” narrative. It’s a good narrative. Solid, foreshadowed, and spectacular. Admittedly predictable, but when your flameout is this great, who needs misdirection. The flaw in building up this narrative is that no other outcome then feels satisfying, and that’s what we have here. Sure, we got a couple of scenes with people other than Tony, and I’ve tried to highlight them, but the fact is, the first half of this episode was “The Tony Show”, and so Tony not even being able to be targeted means that there was almost no point to what we’d seen so far. Of course, the show still has approximately half an hour to build up a new target, but then this brings us back to the problem of last episode. If you cram everything into the last half hour of the show, it feels rushed and wanting. Show, if I may offer some constructive criticism, EITHER GIVE US LONGER EPISODES, OR DON’T WASTE TIME ON STUFF THAT, WHILE ENTERTAINING, DOES NOT IMPACT THE PLOT! HALF AN HOUR IS NOT ENOUGH TO BUILD UP STRATEGY AND TARGETS IN A GAME AS COMPLEX AS THIS!

Ok, ok, rant over. Jeremy is the obvious target, since we know that he was meant to be targeted last episode. It’s revealed here that Michele is really the only one tight with him, as both Kim and Denise are more than willing to jump ship and vote out Jeremy. As such, the controlling five agree to throw two votes on Michele, just in case, while the remainder vote for Jeremy.

Jeremy’s counter-plan is not exactly the stuff of legend. With no wedge to drive, he decides to throw votes on Ben, because he annoys him. The tried and true reasoning for wanting to get rid of someone. That said, it’s not likely to win hearts and minds. What does sway things is Tony’s craziness, and here’s where it comes back to bite him in the butt. True, Tony’s true nature has reared itself, and while he’s taken some risks, it’s been nothing game-ending. It won’t be game ending tonight, either, since he’s immune, but now Tony has put himself in a losing situation. All Tony had to do was follow the example of Keith Nale and “Stick to the Plan”. He had a good setup. An idol, and a powerful fivesome he has inroads with. However, Tony’s got the itch to make a move, and so decides, for really no good reason, to vote out Sophie. Oh, he does GIVE a reason, it’s just that reason is stupid. Tony is only NOW concerned with how close Sarah and Sophie have gotten, and decides to target Sophie so that Sarah will be close to him. Now, you might wonder why this is stupid. After all, I praised this when Jeremy tried to off Nick to make Wendell close to him? Well, aside from the fact that that praise was qualified, with so many people left, Jeremy could have plausible deniability. If Nick had gone, he could have comfortably denied it, with no way to contradict him. With so few left now, though, Sarah could probably tell that Tony had turned on her. Do you think this will end well for Tony? I thought not.

Tony may have to make the smart move in spite of himself, however. Jeremy is not too trusting, particularly since Tony’s story involves him believing that both Kim and Denise have turned on him, which is a little far-fetched. That said, it DOES mean that after two more blogs, I can finally talk about the proper move here. Jeremy and Tony both have obvious best moves. For Jeremy, getting out Sophie breaks up the majority and gets rid of one of their idols, both of which he desperately needs right now. For Tony, as I’ve said, sticking with the Jeremy plan is the right move. No need to rock the boat at this juncture, especially when you’re so likely to get caught with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

Apart from Tony, everyone else has been kind of low-energy, and as a result we get a low-energy Tribal Council. Even Probst’s questions seem lazy, with him basically asking multiple people if they felt ignore, focussing on our supposed targets for the night (Jeremy, Michele, Ben, and Sophie). I’m sure he asked everybody, but asking in exactly the same way feels lazy. Vary it up a little!

Despite Jeremy having the most foreshadowing, I’m pretty sure Sophie will be going home tonight. It feels like it’s time, somehow, and we’ve been building to an epic Tony blunder. Sure enough, the split vote screws the majority, and Tony, Nick, Jeremy, and Michele band together to vote out Sophie. The right move for Jeremy and Michele, but Tony and Nick still lack an upside. Naturally, I’m upset to see Sophie go. Her snark was always good for a laugh, and apart from Denise, she was my favorite player left in the game. So, does this mean she has “Ethan Zohn” downside, in getting voted out without limited foreshadowing? Not exactly. While most of the foreshadowing was crammed in the back half of the episode, there WAS foreshadowing there, so Sophie’s exit does feel earned. Stupid move for some, but earned nonetheless. I think the better comparison is to Christian’s exit on “Survivor David vs. Goliath”. You get why it happened, but the player it happened to was all but invisible in their boot episode. That said, Sophie has the decency to give us some comedy on her way out, pretending to get lost on the way to the snuffer, and complaining about crotch idols. She has to decide who didn’t betray her when willing her fire tokens, and so sends one apiece to Sarah and Kim. Smart choices all.

For all my complaints, this episode is an improvement. It was entertaining, even laugh-out-loud funny at times, and that’s always appreciated. Really, my main gripe is the gripe I always have with an “Edge of Extinction” season: it’s too crowded. Trying to fit too much into an hour time slot just leaves things feeling rushed and convoluted. This episode is better than some that have tried, but the show REALLY needs to make some deep cuts if they want things to be foreshadowed before the last half-hour again.

But flaws in the episode doesn’t mean we can’t have fun! My contest to identify the speaker of the title quote is still ongoing! Simply write the name and season of the player who spoke the quote used for the title in the comments! First to correctly get it gets their username at the top of the next blog. Remember, one entry per person, and I only use seasons of US “Survivor”.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 10: Baby, Baby, Bee-Bee, Bee-Bee

Congratulations to user “AubreyDeservedToLoseKaohRong” for correctly identifying last episode’s title as a quote from Brian Heidik of “Survivor Thailand”! Let’s see if we can keep the streak going.

Unfortunately for us, a major win must be followed by a major loss. Yes, it’s time once again for another edition of…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Appropriately enough for a chaotic Tribal Council, a couple of points got lost in the shuffle. First and foremost, I forgot to properly eulogize Adam. While I did an adequate job defending his play of the podium, if I do say so myself, Adam as a player kind of fell by the wayside. His departure really brings up mixed feelings in me. While Adam is a skilled player, and very much earned his win on his first season, he was clearly here to represent the “Superfan” first, and represent a winner second. In that sense, his boot was well-deserved. It was a long time coming, being brought up as early as the first episode. And again, while I mean no disrespect to Adam as a player, as a result of coming across more as a superfan, he just didn’t feel as “legendary” as the other players on this season. That said, having what was basically a representation of those of us watching at home on the show was nice, and in that sense, he will be missed. If nothing else, Adam can hold up his head with dignity.

Secondly, I want to bring up the music of last episode again before we get into the music of this episode. I, like most everyone else, gave the show flak for having music with English lyrics for no discernible reason in the immunity challenge. However, I forgot to call out a bit where the music was actually helpful. During that chaotic Tribal Council, Adam at one point asked for a response to his question about being targeted. Up until this point, the music had been building in intensity, doing a perfect job of underscoring the chaos. As soon as Adam asks his question? Dead silence, except for some crickets chirping. Genius. Well played, music department. I still haven’t forgiven you for that earlier song, but it’s a start.

Yes, Adam is a player deserving of a long period of mourning. As such, let’s completely ignore the fallout from his exit, and cut straight to the loved-one’s reward challenge! Well, I say “challenge”, but as a bit of a treat for these legendary players, everyone just gets to take their loved-ones back for a feast. A bit of a cop-out? Sure, but the moment has a lot of warm fuzzies, and it would have been kind of cruel to the young kids to get so close to their parents only to be torn away again. Oh yeah, that’s the other special thing about this reward. With so many players having young children, the show (and Fiji Airways, as Jeff goes out of his way to tell us in a segway that in NO WAY detracts from the moment) sends out loved ones, and children, where applicable. It’s a cuteness overload not seen on “Survivor” since the baby monkeys of “Survivor Cambodia”, and I am all for it. Plus, in a weird, roundabout way, it helps to honor the legacy of the show, by showing how long it’s been going on in the progeny produced even by more recent winners.

With that said, I do have to say that having so many loved ones out there for most did make it odd for the people who DIDN’T have children to come out as well, those being Sophie, Nick, and Michele. It’s no mark against them, of course, but it did make them stand out in a bad way, and almost seem like an afterthought at their own reward. So, how could you balance the scales? For my part, I would have thought they’d get basically a second loved-one, kind of like what they did on “Survivor Caramoan”. They don’t have kids, so they get a second person to help balance the love scales. Hell, they could even have tied it into the theme of the season, and brought back friends/allies from a previous season for each of them. Think about it. We could have gotten Probst’s Cochran cameo out of the way with Sophie here. We could have seen the return of Christian or Angelina for Nick. AUBRY-FREAKING-BRACCO COULD HAVE GRACED OUR TV SCREENS ONCE AGAIN FOR MICHELE! WHY ARE YOU NOT MAKING THIS A REALITY, CBS?

Even amongst those with children, however, there are a few standouts. While I’m sure this will be a point of contention for some, for me, the most heartwarming reunion was Tony, simply because this is a side of him we hadn’t seen before on the show. The man started out as the wild and crazy guy on “Survivor Cagayan”, and basically maintained that through “Survivor Game Changers”. We’d seen his more patient, more overtly strategic side come out this season, and now we get to see his emotional, fatherly side. It adds depth that, in my opinion, Tony desperately needs, and he’s the only one left who hadn’t gotten it yet. True, some other people didn’t get it until this season, but even so, Tony is still the last, and it was gratifying to see. Speaking of people getting new sides to them, while Tyson’s reunion touched on the family beats we’d seen from him before, we did get to see him interact with his daughter, which I have to say was adorable. Plus, Tyson FINALLY got in some self-deprecating humor, which if you’ve read me for a while, you know has been a major hangup of mine for Tyson as a character. This isn’t enough to make me love Tyson or anything, but it does start me on the road to liking him more than I had previously. Finally, I want to touch on Jeremy’s reunion, not to talk about the reunion itself, but the music with it. In keeping with the throwback to older seasons, Jeremy’s music cue is a sort of soaring choral piece that hearkens back to the very earliest days of the show. I can’t say off the top of my head that it was used in “Survivor Borneo”, but I know for a fact it was at least as early as “Survivor Africa”. For reference, it’s the music cue that plays during Tom Buchanan’s Hot-Air Balloon reward when he talks about having his horizons broadened by the experience. If you’re looking for another place to find the music cue to hear what I’m talking about, it also plays during the “Rites of Passage” for “Survivor Pearl Islands”. I do very much enjoy most of the new music on the show. Note my love for the new voting theme used on “Survivor Island of the Idols”. But even with that, I still hold a fondness for the old music cues, and wish they would come back more often. On the scale of things I would want brought back to “Survivor”, it’s pretty low. Final Twos, the old jury format, intros that actually PLAY before the episode, rites of passage, gross food challenges, food auctions, and individual character introductions in the first episode, are all things I would take over getting the old music back. That said, I’m not going to complain about us getting the old music back.

So yeah, Probst spills that this is just a reward, no challenge, and everyone goes off and is happy. They laugh. They party. Tyson’s daughter makes “sand soup”, and their interaction around that is just adorable. Time for some mood whiplash on the Edge of Extinction. A boat arrives. Ethan, in an uncharacteristic display of pessimism, says that something bad is coming. Ethan, man, this does not become you. Fortunately, Ethan is wrong, as the people on the Edge of Extinction get their loved ones as well! Ok, I may sound heartless and cruel, but I’m not happy about this. That is to say, I’m happy that the players on the Edge of Extinction are happy, but I feel like this is too much. Apart from the fact that we’re nearly halfway through the episode and aside from some warm fuzzies nothing has happened, this feels like an insult to the players still in the game. Yes, the players on Edge of Extinction are technically “still in the game” by the show’s definition, but they’re clearly not fully “in the game” either. Why do they deserve the special treatment? Because they’re legends? Perhaps, but wasn’t the point of the Edge of Extinction to test people’s limits? To see how much pain and suffering they were willing to endure, just for a SHOT at returning? Kind of undermines your point, doesn’t it? How is this suffering?

Like with the loved ones of the players still in the game, few specific reunions are worth mentioning. All are nice and heartwarming in their own way, and it’s always nice to see that even the most despicable of players are still people who have other people who love them. One tiny detail I find hilarious, though, is that this reunion underlines just how little CBS cares about people from “Survivor Samoa” not named Russell Hantz. Parvati’s husband, John Fincher, was a contestant on that season, but did he get a mention as a previous player? No! And it’s not like no one else who played before didn’t either! Rachel, Tyson’s wife, got a specific call-out, and she didn’t even make the merge! She’s undateable! Hell, I don’t think they even showed us a full shot of John’s face. Every shot was him snogging Parvati. Way to respect your previous players, show!

Ok, we’ve had our touchy-feeley stuff, on to actual strategy, right? Nope, challenge time! Our immunity challenge today comes courtesy of “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, though as Probst notes, this specific iteration resembles the one used on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Players stack blocks to spell “Immunity” with the catch being that they must balance the board said blocks are on while moving back and forth to collect their subsequent blocks. Not a bad challenge, but a bit overdone at this point, especially since it hasn’t really innovated since “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Still, we’ve had worse, it’s not REALLY an endurance challenge, and it can work really well if there’s a lot of back and forth. Sadly, there ISN’T a lot of back and forth. There’s a few close competitors, but Tony does well in the challenge from beginning to end, and it’s mostly a matter of just seeing who comes close before Tony gets his first individual immunity victory, and two fire tokens to boot. Congratulations, Tony. You are now tied with Kass McQuillen (“Survivor Cagayan”) in terms of number of immunity wins. May you one day be as awesome as she is.

While I may gripe about the immunity challenge, Tony is kind of an odd one to win this one. After all, this sort of challenge favors those with patience and finesse, neither of which are qualities Tony is particularly known for. Even he is surprised, but he isn’t complaining. After all, he is the belle of the ball. First to come up to him his Jeremy, who pitches voting out Sarah, on the grounds that he wants to break up the Sarah/Sophie bond. Not a bad idea in general, but why, Jeremy, are you pitching this idea to TONY? And if you must pitch the idea to Tony, why say Sarah. Even if you don’t know the two are allied, you can guess that they have something of a bond, given that they played two seasons together. If you must go for one of them, go for Sophie. Tony clearly isn’t happy about it, but lets it slide to Jeremy’s face. All is not well with Tony and Sarah, however. Tony, who had been so patient so far this episode, loses it with Sarah when they can’t agree on their target. Both make logical points. Sarah wants to target Kim since she’s the type who can fly under the radar and snake you before you know it, while Tony wants to target Tyson. The reasons aren’t given, but Tyson is a challenge threat, and these people have seen “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. They know not to let any returnees from there near the finals. Thus, to paraphrase an old Klingon Proverb, any day is a good day to vote out Tyson.

Sarah seems to win the initial struggle, with Tony caving, but Tony isn’t done yet, as indicted by the hornets swarming overhead. When Jeremy gets up from a pow-wow with Nick and Tony to go talk to Kim, Tony calls over Sophie and uses the time to talk about going against Jeremy. Again, another good target. Jeremy has bonds with a lot of people left, and is a challenge threat, combining to make him dangerous. The trouble is, they only seem to have five, and need to pull over a sixth. This may be difficult, though, as Kim, Jeremy, and Tyson commiserate about no one wanting to talk to them. Then they get the bright idea of “Hey, why don’t we talk with each other!”, and agree to pull in Denise and Michele (presumably through their ties to Jeremy) to vote out Sophie, on the logical grounds of “she’s unlikely to see it coming”. Yes, the strategy is rushed, and pointless crammed into all of about 10 minutes, but it is logical strategy, if nothing else. One interesting point about these groups is that we’ve still very much got an original Dakal/original Sele split here, just with a few disaffected people switching sides. Most Dakal still in the game are with Tony (Sarah, Nick, and Sophie). Ben is original Sele, but was the swing vote there with no truly firm alliances. Most original Sele, meanwhile, are with Jeremy (Denise and Michele), along with Kim, who had no real alliance, and Tyson, who got voted out by Dakal, and thus has no reason to be loyal to them. Funny. Despite the tribe shake-up, we still end up with an original tribe split, effectively. Whodathunkit?

If you can do math, though, you’ll notice that this leaves us at a 5-5 tie, with no way to break the deadlock using social play. This also means, once again, we must forgo the “Which person is better to vote out?” discussion, since there’s no swing vote. Plus, again, this is a situation where all the targets are logical ones, and so there’s really no wrong answer. With no other recourse, we turn to the discussion of advantages. First is Kim’s idol, which she considers playing, though she tells Denise she wants to play it on someone else, rather than herself. I just have to ask: WHY? Kim, maybe you haven’t been keeping up with the show as much as you should have, but it’s not WHO you play the idol on, but HOW. Playing it correctly, for yourself or someone else, is all that matters. With this much potential risk, best to play it on yourself if you play it at all, and hope for the best. Potentially more impactful is Jeremy’s “Safety without Power”, since tonight is the last night he can play it. With so much chaos, it might seem a wise move, but when Jeremy pitches it to Tyson, it’s pointed out that this basically screws his alliance, and Jeremy’s firefighter “help other people” instincts fight with his self-preservation instinct as we head off to Tribal Council.

For those who say that idols and advantages should be gotten rid of entirely, let this Tribal Council be the counterargument. This was a SNOOZEFEST of a Tribal Council until the advantages came out. We cut straight to the whispering, with no inciting incident. It adds an air of mystery, I suppose, but that’s what the strategic buildup pre-Tribal Council is for. We get no drama until Jeremy and Sarah talk over each other to play their advantages, only to each insist the other go first, get into a standoff, and nearly get to voting AGAIN before finally something gives. That something is Jeremy, who goes for self-preservation and plays his safety without power on himself. I can’t really fault the decision too much. While this does all but guarantee that a member of Jeremy’s alliance will be voted out, all this does is make his way forward more difficult. Better a difficult way forward than a near impossible way forward from getting voted out. Jeremy leaves, and our groups, called out by Sophie in a very Boston Rob-esque move, convene to decide on their targets. You would think Jeremy’s advantage would be it, but NO! Despite having a numerical advantage, Sarah still plays her vote steal. I’ll admit, my gut reaction was that Sarah jumped the gun, but then it occurred to me that this makes mathematical sense. By stealing a vote, and turning a probable 5-4 vote into a probably 6-3 vote, Sarah’s alliance can split the votes and virtually guarantee themselves success. After all, the one thing that can upset their alliance is a correct idol play. Given that Sarah knows the location of the Yara idol, and that the Sele one was played by Denise, it’s unlikely the other alliance has more than one idol. Thus, by splitting the votes 3-3-3, even if one person from the other alliance is safe, the other goes home on revote. It’s genius…

Or at least it WOULD be if the group had done it correctly! Seriously, how did you screw such a simple plan up? Tyson isn’t even involved this time! Ok, he is involved, but on the other side, so that’s no excuse. Kim plays her idol on a vote-stolen Denise, which given how obvious a target it made her, I’m surprised Kim went for her. I can only assume it was more emotional than strategic. To be fair, from what we see, Denise does receive two votes, but Tyson gets the remaining four. This implies the majority did a 4-2 split AGAINST A GROUP OF THREE PEOPLE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? If Kim had played her idol correctly, Sophie would have been gone, and you would have been SOL. You ever think of that?

Sigh. Ok, ok, let’s talk about Tyson’s exit. As I said before, it was earned, and I’m happy to see the ruling alliance make a smart decision. Of course, I also said I was warming up to Tyson and his humor a lot more this episode, so am I sorry to see him go? Yeah… no. Look, I’m liking the guy more than I have, but he’s still not one of my favorites, even of those left. Plus, if nothing else, it’s gratifying to see people in the game FINALLY not let the returnee from Edge of Extinction get a foothold. Having no fire tokens, Tyson merely gives the boxes the finger, and we close on a group hug from the jury to Probst. Aww.

This is a tough episode of “Survivor” to critique, mainly because it’s really only half an episode of “Survivor”. The first half was just Hallmark-Channel sweetness, which is nice enough, and I do like to see the show shake up their own formula. But it just didn’t feel like “Survivor” as we know it. What we did get was rushed, due to loved ones and the Edge of Extinction, continuing the major issue of this season. While the characters and strategy are good, there’s just too much left, and there isn’t enough time to properly digest everything before we move on, making it all feel rushed, which should not happen in a legends season. Still, it’s by no means bad overall. Just room for improvement.

Speaking of improvement, we’ve got a tricky title to identify today, so get cracking. Let me know in the comments who said the quote that provided tonight’s blog title, as well as what season it was said on! First person to get it correct gets their name at the top of the next blog!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 9: Gotta Be Like Ice

I guess, if we have no one to praise for correctly identifying last week’s quote, we can talk about the new tribe name, since I failed to do so. “Koru” is not a bad name, though a bit on the short side. We’re not doing as bad as back in the day, when it was NOTHING but four-letter names for a while, but this one does manage to not sound similar to any previous tribe name, at least. It does sound similar to the character of Tohru from “Jackie Chan Adventures”, but as I’m probably the only “Survivor” fan who has ever watched that show, it would only bother me.

Getting back from Tribal Council, it’s safe to say that people are not happy. Michele in particular is not happy, and in telling us that she is not happy, we see that the crowdedness of last episode has even spilled over into this one. Michele, you see, references a plot line we DID NOT SEE AT ALL IN THE PAST EPISODE. She talks about how mad she is when she said she was ok with Wendell going, yet was left out anyway. Um, did I miss something? Yeah, Michele talked about not liking Wendell when they first ended up on a tribe together, but the most recent narrative was how she had wasted a fire token on him, and how bonded they were. Where did this come from? Now, you might charitably say that Michele was simply playing that up to the players, to help make her anger come off as righteous indignation, as well as imply her free-agent status. This argument would make sense, were it not for the fact that she was saying this in confessional. You know, when ONLY talking to the camera? Unless she’s pulling a Danni Boatwright, why lie to the camera? And about this of all things?

Michele is not alone in being pissed, however. Nick, of course, is quite upset as well, telling us that there’s a storm brewing. I wouldn’t bring up this line specifically, were it not for a bit of meta it creates for me. You see, there happens to be a tornado advisory in my area, which a crawl started for as soon as Nick started talking about the storm coming. There’s no way that was coordinated, and it’s comedy gold! Sorry to all of you who didn’t have potentially life-threatening weather in your area. To add insult to injury, Nick tells us he was blindsided on his birthday, which I’m sure will in NO WAY come back to become a plot point later in the episode.

To contrast with the anger, we have Adam, who is naturally thrilled to have made it through Tribal Council. Unfortunately for Adam, this is an odd-numbered episode, meaning he has to look like an idiot. However, it seems Adam may be limited to just grammatical and pronunciation matters, as his first big error is misusing the word “literally”. Unless you’re having open-heart surgery, your heart is never “literally” beating out of your chest. That said, Adam does tell Michele of a bit of a good idea of his. I haven’t drawn much attention to it, but Adam has been searching the Tribal Council voting booth for an idol pretty much every time we see him vote, and as someone who’s advocated for that twist for a while, I can’t help but approve. Adam has turned up empty, but noticed a fleur-de-lis on Probst’s pedestal. Remembering that Denise’s idol was a fleur-de-lis, Adam thinks maybe it might be an idol. I think it might just be a recurring symbol, but hey, I’ve heard weirder theories on “Survivor”, and kudos to Adam for thinking outside the box. Adam does lose points for pronunciation, though. The “s” is silent in fleur-de-lis.

Speaking of thinking outside the box, we cut over to the Edge of Extinction. Joy. Yul returns with a tiny pizza… Er, I mean, yet another clue to a fire token earning opportunity. The clue tells the players to take a step back and remember history. Most everyone concludes that they must look in a place where they found fire tokens before, and hikes up the mountain. Why Natalie doesn’t immediately ditch everyone and run for the water well, since only she knows that it’s there, I can’t say. Natalie does have the bright idea of suggesting they split up at the top, so as to keep Yul and Wendell, who don’t know any place the group has been so far, from finding any tokens. Not that it does her much good, of course. It’s Danni and Parvati who have the brainwave to think back to “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, and look in a memorable hiding place there. Thus, they remember Aubry’s find in a hole in the rock, and so look there, finding a “50/50” advantage, basically a coin flip that either grants you immunity or doesn’t. They agree to sell it to Michele, since she has the most fire tokens, and they can also probably guess that she’s on the outs, and in need of something to keep her in the game. But who gets to receive said fire tokens? Parvati found the actual advantage, but Danni was right there, and was the one with the brainwave about finding the clue? The point is moot! Parvati states her intention to use the fire tokens to get food for everyone there, and even tells them about finding the advantage. Parvati, what happened? Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying seeing a different side of you, but this all feels like it really came out of nowhere! What happened to the Parvati of old?

As to this method of hiding it, you might think that I’d hate it. There are several reasons to, after all. Reusing an old hiding place, while clever for an anniversary season, just shows the weakness in staying in Fiji (fans of the show can remember where previous advantages were hidden, and look there). Plus, there was no guarantee that someone would remember this. No winner past “Survivor David vs. Goliath” is on this season, and “Survivor Edge of Extinction” itself is not exactly a memorable season. On top of that, while I get wanting to honor the show’s past, you should not honor “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, due to overall being pointless and, in my opinion, the worst season the show has ever had. If it fades into non-existence (with the exception of Aubry, Rick Devans, and Wendy) I will be content. So yeah, I should hate this. But I don’t. Why? Because Aubry got mentioned in a positive light on the 20th anniversary season of the show, and that’s a high even Edge of Extinction can’t bring me down from.

Continuing on the “tangentially related to Aubry” train, our reward challenge comes from her first season “Survivor Kaoh Rong”. Three members of a team of five must transport a net of heavy wooden fish to shore, hook them to a pole, and transport to a table, where the two remaining players must them put them in a table puzzle. Not a bad challenge at all, and certainly not overused. That said, my usual complaint about team challenges post-merge stands, especially when our sit-out doesn’t even get a chance at reward. What is our reward? Chinese take-out. Nothing special, but I suppose when you’re starving on an island, food is food.

On paper, this should be a lopsided competition. Our red team is Jeremy, Nick, Adam, Tony, and Tyson, while our blue team is Michele, Sophie, Kim, Sarah, and Ben. While these types of challenges usually come down to the puzzle, each time has one puzzle whiz, so you’d think the challenge would come down to strength, which it kind of does, since our early lead team does win. And you’d think the red team would have the edge there, having four challenge beasts compared to one. There’s almost no way they could lose. So, I have to ask: WHY IN GOD’S NAME DID YOU PUT ADAM ON THE STRENGTH PORTION OF THE CHALLENGE? HE’S FAR AND AWAY THE WEAKEST PERSON LEFT PHYSICALLY, AND ALL HIS STRENGTH LIES IN PUZZLES! Either Jeremy or Nick our two puzzle solvers, would have been WAY better served helping on this portion of the challenge.

Sure enough, red struggles, and blue wins reward. Before Probst can send them off, though, Sarah asks if she can give it up. Probst agrees, knowing the drama this can create, and Sarah gives the reward to Nick. It is his birthday after all…

Sorry, I had to check my phone there. Just got a news alert. It seems the city of Boston, MA, has exploded. Experts aren’t sure why, as the only clue is that the epicenter is the home of one Rodney Lavoie Jr., contestant on “Survivor Worlds Apart”. Bizarre.

Anyway, this might seem like a nice gesture, but this is Sarah Lacina we’re talking about here. The criminal of “Survivor Game Changers”. Literally the person most people wanted out pre-game. There’s no way it’s that simple. There must be some ulterior motive.

SARAH: I just wanted to do something nice and emotional. There was no gameplay involved.

Well ok, then. Apparently this is just the episode where all the ruthless women show their softer side. That said, just because there was no gameplay involved doesn’t mean people won’t believe there is. Adam points out how big of a threat this makes her. Jeremy reminds us that this is what got him eliminated on “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. Even TONY talks about how dumb of a move this was, and when TONY is the one telling your your move was stupid, you know you done goofed.

With that, though, I would like to point out how good a job Tony and Sarah are doing at keeping their relationship under wraps. On a season where any pre-existing pairs have been snuffed out as soon as they’re noted, it’s pretty impressive that they’ve managed to stay strong and avoid being targeted, by and large. Those times when they have been targeted, it’s for entirely different reasons. It shows the strategic chops these pair have. And the best part. The show doesn’t hit us over the head with this information, but instead trusts the viewer to pay attention, and lets it sink in without narration. More of this, please!

After a humanizing moment with our reward winners, we must get back to what Probst believes “Survivor” is all about: Idols and Advantages. Our feasters look high and low, even going so far as to bust open their fortune cookies to find a clue. No such luck, though I did appreciate the “look under the bottoms of the cartons” maneuver. With no idols or advantages there, we instead turn to Michele, who now has to decide whether or not to buy the “50/50” advantage. Ok, since we’re here, let’s talk about this advantage. Put simply, it’s dumb. The rules on it aren’t exceptionally clear. “Safe” means you effectively have immunity, but “Not Safe” is not well-explained. Is it like losing a challenge on “Island of the Idols” where you lose your vote? If so, then it’s a TERRIBLE advantage. Very expensive (four fire tokens!) for only a SHOT at payoff, and a big loss if you don’t. Even if it just does nothing, however, it’s still a bad deal. People have paid less for GUARANTEED safety. Even with Michele in this position, why go for this? Because a fortune cookie told her to. Look, Michele. I like you. Even as the head of the “Aubry Lobby”, I like you. You seem like a lot of fun to hang with, and you played a solid game last time. I may prefer Aubry, but no disrespect to you. You are a very worthy winner. That said, THIS IS A HORRIBLE DEAL, AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR MAKING IT!

Our immunity challenge today comes courtesy of “Survivor Caramoan”. Basically, everyone has to balance on increasingly small parts of a triangular prism, with the last one standing being the victory. We sadly do not get the positive callback to Andrea and Brenda’s impromptu rule change, though we do get the positive of a few particularly wild players trying to keep their balance. Jeremy’s theatrics and Ben’s “kung-fu” moves in particular need to be praised. Also, I should say that I’m impressed with Ben. I thought he’d be out early, since this sort of challenge does not favor the top-heavy. Jeremy can attest to that. Second place is impressive, though. That said, this challenge does have a couple of bad points. Once again, a fire token is granted to the winner, and we again get rock music with lyrics of the challenge, rather than the more traditional music the show has. I expressed my disdain for these creative choices last episode, and am sad to see they don’t seem to be a one-off thing. However, since I already talked about my hatred for these choices recently, I’ll spare you the rant again, and thus cut to Kim winning immunity. A well-earned victory, but not an impactful one.

At first, the vote seems like it’s going to be simple and straightforward. Nick and Michele are on the outs? Split the vote between Nick and Michele, with Nick being the primary choice for being “untrustworthy”. Adam gets thrown out as the alternate split vote in place of Michele, but that gets dismissed very quickly. But then Nick, sensing that everything is going against him, decides to stir things up. He tells Tyson that his name is getting thrown out. It may be. After all, he is they guy back from the Edge of Extinction, and while I don’t expect most people to remember “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, the fact that the winner came from there is something I would hope they remember, and take to heart when deciding how to treat returnees from the Edge of Extinction. Thus, it wouldn’t surprise me if Tyson had been thrown out as a possible boot, but we haven’t heard about it. This gets Tyson to toss Sarah’s name out, who tosses Adam out again, who tosses out Ben’s name, and then all hell breaks loose. Names being thrown around left and right. Tyson even gets his name thrown out for really real this time. It’s pretty much pure chaos as we head to Tribal Council, meaning my usual “This is who’s being decided between; here’s the right move for the swing votes” format goes out the window.

What I can talk about, however, is one little moment that nearly escaped being seen. You see, for the most part the people we see talking are the groups you’d expect. Jeremy, Tony, and Tyson. Sarah and Sophie. Ben and Adam even get together and do their “odd-couple schtick”, where Ben tries to call Adam on throwing out his name, which Adam does a poor job of denying. But one that almost escapes notice is Kim and Denise. We’d seen them talk on the second iteration of Dakal, but nothing much concrete. Here, however, when everyone else is panicking, they stay calm and debate the pros and cons of going for Sarah (Kim says she’s ok, and we immediately cut to her saying to Ben that Sarah can’t go. This to me says they’re playing smarter than most everyone left. My favorite player still in the game, and the most dominant winner ever teaming up? I love it.

With so much misdirection (though given their airtime earlier in the episode, Adam and Sarah seem to be the main people set up for elimination), all Tribal Council really needs to do is keep the chaos going. That it does, with all pretense thrown out the window, and Tribal Council turns into a whisper-fest, though somewhat more justified than other examples. The producers did nothing to elicit this. This is just everyone being crazy. It’s only Adam and Ben arguing about how they talk to each other once again that gets everyone to pay attention. We’re reminded here that Adam is his own worst enemy. While I don’t doubt that he was targeted before Tribal Council, when he kept being paranoid about straight answers, and continuing to make it an issue when he could just let it die, he really did himself no favors. As such, it’s not a surprise when Adam gets the votes, but the rest of the episode was enough of a mystery, and the reasoning behind his leaving clear, that one can’t help but be satisfied. Adam clearly demonstrated, through his paranoia at Tribal Council, that he had crossed the “Shamar Threshold”, first seen on “Survivor Caramoan”. His chaotic paranoia now made him more a hinderance than a help as an ally.

Did that paranoia pay off, though? Did Adam correctly pick out an at-Tribal Council Immunity Idol? It would seem not, as Adam is unable to wrest it from the podium. Probst takes pity and lets him declare it an idol for himself anyway, before revealing that it is, in fact, just set decoration. To everyone’s credit, apart from a bit of mockery at Adam’s attempts to pull off the fleur-de-lis, no one really thinks it a bad idea. It’s plausible, and as Adam says, worth a try. Even Probst is respectful when snuffing Adam’s torch.

In case it wasn’t obvious, this episode is head and shoulders an improvement over the previous one. There was still some crowding, but we got good emotional moments, three-dimensional characters, even some solid misdirection in there. I still think this season is trying to do too much, but it did that much better this episode than the previous one.

So now, as we await your next episode, I await your next guess. Which US contestant said this quote, and on what season? Adding in episode number is not necessary, but earns your brownie points if you get it! First person to get it correct gets their name at the top of the next blog!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 8: They’ll be Dying in No Time

While by no means the aspect of the show most emphasized by the fandom, let it never be said that the literal survival aspect of “Survivor” is a non-factor. Yes, it gets emphasized less and less, mostly due to the social and strategic game being overall more fascinating to a viewing audience, but the elements and day-to-day survival should not be ignored. One of the best ways for this aspect to get noted is by bringing up some major weather event, since that shows up the best on television, and as the weather comes, so must the badass who defies the weather, and talks about how it really isn’t that bad. Such is the case on this season, but who would have thought that badass would be Adam? Ok, it’s an even-numbered episode, so we knew we were getting competent Adam this time around, but this is a stretch, even for Adam!

We start off not at camp, but the Edge of Extinction. Yes, the challenge to return to the game is nigh, which means it’s advantage-buying time. Most everyone has at least one fire token, and so get an advantage in the challenge, but Natalie and Boston Rob are rich enough that they can get this, plus an idol for their use should they win. Now, Natalie makes sense, given how much of a beast she is in regards to all things Edge of Extinction, but even with his prowess, you may ask for Boston Rob got enough tokens for both an advantage and an idol. The answer, of course, is that Amber gave him her token so that he could afford both, clearly showing how invested Amber is in her own survival in the game. Clearly someone this determined to win DESERVED to come out for this season, as opposed to, say, the underrated Vecepia Towery (“Survivor Marquesas”). Yes, we definitely got the BETTER end of this deal, we did!

After a surprisingly understated reaction from Sophie at Yul’s ouster, we get our challenge for the return from the Edge of Extinction, which is basically the one used at this point in the game on “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. Fitting from a lore standpoint, I suppose, but given that the season being paid tribute to is “Survivor Edge of Extinction”, I would have forgiven the show for changing things up. Personally, I would have gone with some sort of endurance challenge, since it would fit with the “theme” of the Edge of Extinction twist in general, but I suppose it’s hard to have “advantages” there. Those who were able to buy an advantage in the challenge (read: everyone but Amber, Parvati, and Yul) don’t have to dig up a bag of rope with which to help build a pole to retrieve a key to get through a door, which might seem like kind of a weak advantage, but that bag was buried deep. How deep? Deep enough to make Yul swear, and that’s saying something!

Of course, we can’t get to the challenge with Probst talking about how tough and heart-wrenching Edge of Extinction is, since he really, really wants the public to like this twist. Natalie, Boston Rob, and Tyson all give emotional confessionals about their journeys, which work ok. Tyson in particular gets tearful, which is a side of him we don’t usually see, and is most welcome as a result. But, if I may reiterate an old film axiom: SHOW, DON’T TELL! Just talking about the harshness of the Edge of Extinction comes off as flat at best, whiny at worst. You need to SHOW us how harsh the Edge of Extinction is for us to care! Oh, wait, you can’t, BECAUSE BOREDOM IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CONVEY IN AN HOUR-LONG TELEVISION SHOW! All this leads to the obvious conclusion of EDGE OF EXTINCTION IS A TERRIBLE TWIST! Now, I’ve made this point several times before, even in blogs for this season, so why do I keep reiterating it? To ensure that whoever sees this recognizes how terrible of a twist it is, and to advocate for it never showing up again. If I can succeed in this, then I have done my job.

As with all previous “Return from Edge of Extinction” challenges, while nearly everyone is nominally in the challenge, we instead focus on just three. Tyson and Rob are in it, both being good challenge competitors (Rob’s general performance this season notwithstanding) with challenge advantages to boot, but our third spot goes somewhat surprisingly to Yul. Not a bad challenge competitor, but no advantage in the challenge. Still, he has the hardest time with the snake maze at the end, so it’s really a duel between Rob and his token edge, versus Tyson and his emotion. In the end emotion wins out, as Tyson edges our Rob to return. I can definitely say I called it, and there could have been worse people coming back from the Edge of Extinction, but I must gripe about this challenge nonetheless. Specifically, the music. Oh, not because it spoiled anything. The tension between Tyson and Rob at the end was handled very well. But unlike other music cues, which are either purely instrumental or a non-English language, this season has taken to using some music with English lyrics, specifically “You’d better be ready”. It’s been used once or twice, usually in connection to the Edge of Extinction, and I haven’t commented on it because frankly it hasn’t matter much one way or the other. But having the lyrics always felt a bit wrong, and I think it’s definitely a mistake to use them in connection to the challenge. It just took me out of the moment, because it’s so jarring when compared to the other music on the show, and if it’s doing that, then it’s not a good piece of music to use.

Minor nitpick over, Tyson joins the newly formed Koru tribe, which the show insists is yellow in color, but I say is black. Yes, the gold accents are prominent, but buffs are usually identified by their base color, and that base color is clearly black. Still, at least the chyrons now have some color variety.

Our merge comes with a new advantage menu for those in the game, though the only thing we know about it is that it’s more expensive than the previous menu. Are the same things still on it? Were new things added? Who knows! Well, production and the people in the game know, but we sure as hell don’t! Yes, that OTHER major problem of Edge of Extinction is now rearing its ugly head: There are too many people in the game. Even a merge at 12 I say is a bit of a stretch, but counting those on the Edge of Extinction, there’s still 19 people left in this game, all of whom we have to pay at least a little bit of attention to. Include the time taken up by the returnee challenge, and now not only do we have almost no time for social bonding and strategizing, but we have no time for even the new twists the game just keeps introducing! You know you’ve got too much content in your show when…

Thankfully, Tony informs us that the merge feast is free, so everyone sits down to partake. After establishing that the rum is NOT gone in this case, we get to storytelling, and the story of the day is Denise, the slayer of Sandra. Sandra’s absence did not go unnoticed, and combined with Probst eulogizing Sandra as a conquered legend, how it happened is on everyone’s minds. Denise tells the story truthfully, even playing up her role in it. Ben gives us a great shocked expression. Denise is clearly resume building, and while I’m sure some will chastise her for it, since it painted a major target on her back, I don’t think she had much choice. Any lie she told could be easily countered by someone like Tony, so might as well tell the truth, and if you have to do that, might as well get the most advantage out of it that you can. We head off to the Sele camp, with Tyson berating everyone in confessional for not targeting him. While I don’t think Tyson is quite as “legendary” as some say, I can’t argue with him here. These people have seen “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. They know how much of a threat the returnee is, just by virtue of being the returnee. Why don’t they target him? Either they’re not worried about the Edge of Extinction returnee winning based on the winner needing to be “deserving” or, more likely, they’re hoping that should they come back from the Edge of Extinction, they won’t be dismissed so readily as well. Skewing the game in favor of a returnee winning! Yet another wonderful benefit of the “Edge of Extinction” twist!

After Adam ogles the new camp, courtesy of Wendell, we get down to targeting. Wendell and Nick give us really our only strategy, talking about that previously mentioned target on Denise. Wendell actually puts it well, saying that she has a “winner trajectory”. While it’s easy to scoff at how nebulous this is, he has a point. Narratives have power on this show, as Jonathan Penner articulated on “Survivor Philippines”. Let someone’s momentum get going too much, and you may not be able to stop them, even if their actual power is very low. Thus, targeting Denise makes a certain amount of sense. Also on board, surprisingly, is Jeremy. Jeremy, Tyson, Ben, and Tony had all talked about the “lions” (read, threats) getting picked off, and needing to band together to survive. This despite that fact that this DID happen on the original Sele and did them no good, plus they’re down in numbers, but ok, there’s logic to that. Don’t see how Ben qualifies (I like the guy, but he’s not in the same league as the other three), but fine, it’s your alliance. Jeremy, however, also talks to Wendell. The pair have hung out outside the game, and have something of a bond. Thus, Jeremy wants to work with Wendell. When Wendell suggests voting out Denise, Jeremy outwardly agrees. Way to use that idol, Denise! Look at all the loyalty it bought you! Privately, though, Jeremy would prefer that Nick be gone. Nick is indicated as Wendell’s number one guy, a role Jeremy would like to fill. Not bad logic, but given how he and Michele seem to be tight, particular after Michele gave Wendell one fire token, I think you’d need to do a bit more work before that happens, Jeremy.

Once we get through the terrible weather scene I talked about at the top of this blog, we get to our immunity challenge. It’s HERE where we get our endurance challenge; as Probst states, the classic “Hang onto a tall pole” challenge first seen on “Survivor Vanuatu”, another season criminally underrepresented on this current season. With such a large merge, naturally the last man and last woman left hanging each win immunity. Can I just say, those are some SWEET individual immunity idols we’ve got this season! I’ve knocked some of the production design decisions so far, but these are just cool. Stark black metal making gold accents stand out, with a little skull and two fire tokens on each idol, both connecting it to the tribal immunity idol while still being distinct, and intimidating as all get out. These idols keep you safe, not through some mystical power, but because everyone is just too afraid of them to vote for the person wearing them.

What I’m less a fan of is the reward. In addition to immunity, the last man and last woman standing each get a fire token. Look, I’ve been fairly bullish on the fire tokens so far. I’ve given them a fair shake, and apart from occasionally talking up too much discussion time, I think they’ve been done well so far. But handing them out for winning a challenge, particularly an immunity challenge, is for me a step too far. What I most like about the fire token is how they both encourage and reward social play. By linking them to challenge, you reward more “alpha” type behavior, rather than behind-the-scenes manipulation. By emphasizing the former, you make them no better than pretty much every other idol and advantage so far. Lame!

Despite having multiple people on this season who’ve competed in iterations of this challenge, only one, Tyson, has managed to make the merge. Thus, I favor him to win for the men, while I give Sarah the edge for the women, just due to pure grip strength. Tyson coming back is the only good call I make this episode, though, as both are out fairly early. Denise scrapes a relatively easy win over Kim, meaning that this season has done something that, in recent years, has become truly legendary: someone who needed immunity actually WON! The men are a tougher three-way battle between Jeremy, Nick, and Ben, though we know that Nick’s out, since there was strategizing with his name in the preview for this episode that threw his name out, which would not happen if he was immune. Thus, when Ben drops out, it’s obvious that Jeremy’s opined to win, and win he does. Jeremy takes us to the break talking about wanting to get Nick out and be the boss. Look, getting Nick out is justified, but Jeremy, as the originator of the “shields” strategy, you KNOW that being the boss on “Survivor” is almost never a good thing. I like you, man. Please get ahold of yourself so I can do so guilt-free.

With Denise now out of the picture, Jeremy puts his anti-Nick machinations into motion. He, Tony, and Ben discuss things, and Jeremy is the one to put out Nick as an option. Tony and Ben both just want a consensus, so if people are willing to do Nick, fine, it will be Nick. Plus, we’re informed that Nick awkwardly butts in on conversations, followed by a montage of him doing just that. Hilarious.

For a moment, it seems like Adam himself will be our misdirect. Wendell and Nick decide that, if they can’t get Denise out, they’ll get out her close ally in Adam, since he cheered when she won immunity (way to be subtle, Adam). However, that anti-Nick train is a-movin’, and so Adam is quickly pushed to the backburner. The train hits a derailment, however, when Sophie puts her foot down. Contrary to Jeremy trying to be “subtle”, Sophie has realized how chummy he and Wendell are, and doesn’t want him to grab any more power than she can help. Since Ben’s main concern was a united first vote, he takes this back to Jeremy. Jeremy, REALLY wanting to work with Wendell, then flips back to the Adam plan, shaking things out to be Adam vs. Wendell. As to who of them should go, even for Jeremy, I think Wendell is the better choice. While Ben is correct when he says that Adam stands out in terms of personality and play-style in this group, he’s also no threat. His only real alliance is with Denise, and even that’s tenuous, as she says she’s willing to cut him loose with nary a hint of remorse. He’s unlikely to win immunity in this group, whereas Wendell and Nick as a united front can gain a lot of power quickly. Better to break up that tight-knit block while you have the numbers. Plus, while you might want to be Wendell’s number one, Jeremy, voting out Nick will not do that on a number of levels. Better just to make the betrayal complete and axe that tight-knit group.

Unfortunately, most signs point to the stupid move being made tonight. There’s decent enough misdirection for Wendell, and I’m not 100% certain that Adam’s going tonight, but it seems likely. He has no real alliance with Denise seeming to turn on him, and Ben of course still won’t give him a non-sarcastic answer. Only Sophie has any comfort for him, and when that comfort is “trust the system”, I can’t blame Adam for freaking out. Add onto that another of the weaknesses of large merge being that usually the obvious, consensus boot goes, and Adam seems toast.

Our Tribal Council doesn’t give us much one way or the other. Everyone talks a lot, but it’s about how much they aren’t talking. Funny on a meta level, but it does not the stuff of legends make. I fully expect it to be 11-1 against Adam even so, and am therefore surprised when the group as a whole does the smart thing, and goes for Wendell. Much as I like the guy, I’m not too sorry to see him go. I wasn’t fond of his more irritable side we saw this season, the downfall was nicely misdirected, and it prevents Nick from doing another “three person tribe run to the end” like on “Survivor David vs. Goliath”. Wendell, unsure of who did and didn’t betray him, guesses correctly and wills one token each to Michele and Nick. Good on him, and for all the flak I’ve given him this season, he takes the loss with his trademark good humor. Hopefully this means we have the old Wendell back moving forward.

Despite the good misdirection on the outcome, I have to say this was a pretty weak episode overall. The crunch of so many people being left in the game really got felt here, as we didn’t even have time to talk about the fire tokens, let alone the strategy. What good we got was just basic, with some decent strategy and misdirection. Only the immunity idol and nature shots were still cool, but they don’t make up for an episode that just felt crowded and rushed, two things a merge should never me.

Before we break until next week, however, I have a bit of a challenge for my readers. I’ve been using quotes from previous “Survivor” seasons for titles as a tribute to the 20th anniversary of the show, but some of them, like last week, have been a bit obscure. As such, I want to see just how deep my reader’s knowledge of “Survivor” goes. Starting this week, and going on though the finale, I challenge everyone to tell me in the comments who said the quote the title comes from, and what season (episode number is optional, but you get bragging rights if you can name it as well). First person to do so gets their name called out at the top of the subsequent blog. The only thing to bear in mind is that all my quotes come from seasons of US “Survivor”, mostly just because I haven’t watched enough of the international versions to be able to quote them well. Have at it, my little trivia whizzes!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.