Idol Speculation: “Survivor MGX” Episode 9: Will Can’t Have Alcohol

Guys, I have an announcement: Will can’t drink alcohol. No beer, no wine, no spirits, no mixed drinks. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Poor sap has to make do with only soda. And what a sad existence that must be. But let’s focus on the main point here, and that is that Will Wahl is not legally allowed to drink. The man must be abstinent while his tribemates are in the throws of Dionysian bliss. He cannot have a single drop of that sainted liquid that makes one drunk. There will be no imbibing of intoxicating beverages by the young man with the uncannily deep voice. And, just in case I haven’t made it clear, Will cannot drink alcohol.

Ah, what a traditional way to start a blog, talking about the main focus of the episode. Now we move onto the strategy talk, as the usual fallout from Tribal Council ensues, along with the time-honored tradition of calling the people who flipped on you “idiots”. Our culprit tonight is perennial idiot Jay, who brings up the point that Zeke, Adam, and Hannah are now on the bottom of the Gen-X alliance. I’m willing to admit that this point is fair, but on the whole, I can’t condone Jay’s assessment. After all, where would the threesome be if they had stuck with him True, they’d be the bottom of a seven-person alliance rather than a nine-person alliance, which is seemingly better, but I’d argue (and I’d say the later parts of the episode back me up) that the nine-person alliance is more fractious than seven-person alliance in this case, and, as Hannah will bring up later, that threesome have more power in the latter alliance, despite the increased number. Here’s my problem: I can, to a certain degree, excuse people saying “Well, why ISN’T my alliance the obviously right move to make?” before the votes are cast. But hindsight is 20/20, and for Jay to not even RECOGNIZE why his alliance might not be attractive to Hannah, Zeke, and Adam is preposterous.

Chris also takes the time to brag about how his position is improving. Which is true. Good assessment, Chris. Yeah, really not much more to say about it than that.

But enough about that, this is shiny, happy “Survivor” time, as Adam for once manages to not completely screw up consoling someone after the vote, talking with Taylor about why it was the correct move for him to go against Taylor. Namely, Adam points out that Taylor and Jay were gunning for HIM, a point that even Taylor can’t deny, so we quickly move on to talking about the dirt that Taylor and Adam have on each other. Adam knows about Taylor’s food stash, Taylor knows about Adam’s reward steal. This helps to justify Adam’s revealing of information last episode, a move panned by everyone but myself, it seems. Basically, Adam and Taylor are in a “Nuclear Option” situation. Both have information that could, if not destroy each other, then at least cripple each other’s games pretty hard. That is a way to build trust, albeit tenuous trust. And, given how the Cold War went in general, you could argue that the analogy makes for bad strategy, but I still see the point in it. Granted, Adam really needs to give up on this whole “Make Taylor and Jay trust me.” thing, since that ship has clearly sailed, but here, at least, he has one good attempt at it. I’ll give him credit, though: I really like his “If you wanted me to stick with you, why’d you try and vote me out?” confessional.

Taylor consoles himself with food, and his attitude is really starting to annoy me. What Taylor is doing here is effectively sabotage, not really any different from what Scot and Jason did on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but at least they were TRYING to piss people off. Taylor really doesn’t seem to understand why it’s wrong, though he does at least admit that he’s doing it more to give himself an advantage than anything. I just keep thinking back to the likes of Julie McGee
from “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. She similarly stole food, and the castigation of her in response was a factor in her eventual quit. Taylor? True, he does get voted out for his trouble, but the man ultimately gets off pretty lightly for what I’d consider a serious offense. Stealing is one thing, but stealing from literal starving people is another thing entirely.

In keeping with our new upbeat attitude, we get our second instance of HANNAH attempting to console someone on the losing side of the vote. Having learned from her mistakes with Adam and Zeke, Hannah actually does a good job of talking to Jay about her decision. She’s friendly, but not condescending, and explains how her feeling of greater power by working with the old Takali led to her flip, and Jay, who really has very little choice at this point, seems to still be on good terms with her. Despite what episode 3 of this season might have indicated, Adam really needs to take lessons from her.

We head on to our reward challenge, and, in what may be an “Idol Speculation” first, I really feel no need to describe it step by step. It’s your average generic obstacle course, and ultimately in this case, the individual steps don’t matter. It’s boring, it’s a team challenge post merge, it’s for burgers and drinks at a spa, and Will still isn’t allowed to drink alcohol. That’s about all that really matters.

Oh, and Probst is making a big deal about the fact that teams will be decided by a schoolyard pick. This is often the case on “Survivor”, but rarely do they actually bother to show it. The only times they DO show it are when it has a major impact on the episode, like when the contestants of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” called out how it would fall down alliance lines, and skipped it entirely. Naturally, with something so impactful on the episode, we’re going to watch the pick go one by one, and see where it all goes wrong for one team.

Or, you know, we could cut right to the fact that the purple team is pretty much all old Takali, while the orange team is all old Vanua, with Taylor and Jessica being the only respective switches, that’s cool too. But surely if they brought up the schoolyard pick, then it must have major repercussions throughout the episode. I mean, the orange team picked by Hannah ultimately loses, so that must do something. Look, she’s even getting a confessional about it! It must lead to something this episode! SPOILER ALERT: This is the last time we hear about the schoolyard pick having any impact.

We get our requisite enjoyment of the reward, with Taylor bragging about his eating habits as a garnish. Then we return to a classic “Survivor” staple: the drunken idiot. Newer fans of the show may not be aware of this, as the tradition has dropped off in recent years, but “Survivor” used to have a mean tendency to give people just enough alcohol and just barely not enough food to have someone make a complete drunken ass of themselves. Think of Tom Westman’s performance during the merge on “Survivor Palau”, or basically any time “Big Tom” Buchanan (“Survivor Africa”) was allowed anywhere near alcohol. Unlike Will. Who can’t have it. Having no one named “Tom” on this season to take the fall, we settle for Bret, who seems to determined to prove all stereotypes about Bostonians true. He even sort of KNOWS he’s being set up, admitting beforehand that he should probably limit himself, though Chris informs us that this went out the window very quickly. Granted, Bret gets off easy, with the extent of his drunken exploits being a bombastic cannonball into the pool.

All is not calm, though, as Sunday comes out of the woodwork to deliver some intrigue. I said back in episode 3 (there’s that episode again) that I thought there was more to Sunday than the show was giving us, given a good remark of hers at Tribal Council. Then she quieted down until recently, and I wrote it off as my reading too much into it. But evidently I was correct the first time, as there’s some gamer left in Sunday yet. A fairly bad gamer, to be sure, but a gamer nonetheless, and that always leads to some fun with regards to strategy. Basically, the wounds from the vote where Jessica was saved haven’t fully healed, and while the pair are civil to each other, Sunday admits that Jessica probably needs to go sooner rather than later, especially as the old Takali a a fractured bunch. I would complain about this coming right out of nowhere, but in this case, I’ll give it a pass. This conflict would only really have arose starting in episode 5, at which point we had the switch, so there was really no need for Sunday to comment on her suspicion of Jessica until now. What I WILL complain about is the poor strategy behind it. I get not trusting Jessica, I really do, but holding the old Takali together is really in Sunday’s best interests in particular. At the moment, the old Vanua are chomping at the bit to get rid of each other. Like or dislike each other, if the old Takali can stick together for the next few votes, they’ve got this in the bag. Keep that majority, and ride it to the end. Granted, that’s not so good if you’re on the bottom of the old Takali, but if anything, Sunday is is the best position of the old Takali. She’s well liked, and so has a chance of winning no matter WHO she’s up against, and while she seems to be firmly in the Chris and Bret camp at this point, she could still potentially swing over to the Jessica, David, and Ken camp. Or, she could let all but one old Vanua go, and then use that old Vanua member along with Chris and Bret to gain a majority and a guaranteed finals spot, where again, she would have a decent chance at winning. Certainly there’s something to be said for making a big move and bolstering your resume, but as this season has demonstrated, one must wait for the proper timing. For Sunday, this is throwing out the baby with the bathwater, to use an old cliche.

But I want to like Sunday! QUICK! Cut to even worse gameplay! Oh, good, Adam is trying to ease tensions with his enemies again, that should be worse. Sure enough, Adam proves to us yet again that he can’t have more than one good soothing moment per episode, and ends up talking with Jay out in the water. Still bitter about the Mari vote, Adam gives him a “How’s it feel to be on the bottom?” talk, and while I do think Jay exaggerates QUITE how much of an asshole Adam is being here, I can’t deny that it’s not really Adam’s smartest play, and he does come off as kind of an ass in this case. Admittedly, Adam is at least not playing both sides of the fence, or at least is being more subtle about it, but the damage on him just keeps getting worse. Again, while making enemies of eventual jurors is a categorically bad thing, in the case of people like Jay and Taylor, it was inevitable due to the Figgy vote. But when Jay goes to complain about Adam to the group, thereby taking the talk away from Will’s sobriety for a minute, Hannah and Zeke join in on what an asshole Adam can be. When your CLOSEST ALLIES don’t like you, your chances of winning are shot. I still personally like Adam. As someone who’s got a naturally loud voice, I can relate to the whole “shouting in confessionals” thing, and I like how focussed he is on pure strategy. Mind you, the latter point is part of his downfall, but I’ll be talking about that when we get to Tribal Council. My point is that I’ve accepted the fact that Adam will not be winning this season. He may make it to the end, but I don’t see him really acquiring the votes necessary to win it all. Enjoyable to watch, but not good for winning.

After a really pretty sunrise, we see that Sunday’s quest is not done, as she goes to Jay about the possibility of using him, Will, and Taylor to blindside Jessica, which Jay agrees to, as he doesn’t have many options at this point. What is interesting to note here, though, is that this is further proof that Hannah, Zeke, and Adam going with the old Takali was the right move. Unlike Jay, Taylor, Will, and Michelle, who were a tight, nigh-unbreakable foursome, the old Takali, while in greater numbers, have difficulty working together. Push comes to shove, they’ll join for a vote, but those old divisions are there, and working in the favor of Adam, Zeke, and Hannah. It’d be one thing if the old Takali was a solid six who COULD be broken up by a good strategist, but this isn’t the doing of Adam, Hannah, or Zeke. The old Takali are doing this to themselves, with little to no outside prompting. Again, more evidence that Jay really is wrong in saying that the move last episode was a bad one.

Our immunity challenge is only slightly more remarkable than the reward challenge. A returning challenge from “Survivor South Pacific”, our tribe members hold a large wooden bow with a ball on top of it, while standing on a balance beam. At specific intervals, contestants will move down to a narrower section of the beam. If they fall off or the ball drops, they’re out. Last one standing wins. Pretty standard difficult endurance challenge. While it is a reused one, it isn’t overdone, and as it’s been five years since we’ve seen it, I’m willing to give it a pass in that regard. What DOES bug me are the bows. Could we put in at least a LITTLE work to make them look authentic. I know we’re kind of in the era of “Plastic ‘Survivor’”, but a little more effort would be appreciated.

Speaking of things from over five years ago, we bring back a twist no seen since “Survivor Redemption Island”, presumably put on hold to distance the show as much as possible from that God-awful season. If people want to, they can opt out of the challenge and eat grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, potato chips, and imbibe some soda and beer. Except for Will. He can’t have the beer. Just thought I’d clarify it.

Once again skipping over the important decision-making part of the challenge, we cut right to finding out that only Zeke and alcohol-free Will opted out, which makes sense, especially when you consider that you’ve got surfer dudes in the challenge, as our little puritan Will points out. I’m actually surprised MORE people didn’t drop out, though I applaud them their dedication to the game.

Normally I’d just skip right to the outcome of the challenge, but I do want to draw attention to one early drop out. Bret is out pretty early on, which is no surprise for a top-heavy guy, but the look of betrayal he gives the food and drink is just priceless. You know he just wanted to drive in the “Drunken Bostonian” stereotype a LITTLE BIT MORE, and instead has to settle for Will getting drunk. Oh, wait, I forgot, Will can’t drink alcohol. I guess Probst mentioning it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING CHALLENGE wasn’t enough of a reminder.

Ken ends up winning the challenge, which surprised me somewhat. This is a challenge that doesn’t favor the top-heavy, and as a man’s center of gravity is higher than a woman’s, I’d have expected one of the ladies to take it. Probably Jessica, given her performance in the previous immunity challenge. Granted, Ken is not the most top-heavy looking guy, but the center of gravity thing is still a problem. Frankly, all this means is that the immunity necklace will not impact the ultimate vote.

With talk of potential immunity idols JUST NOW coming up in our majority alliance, they agree to split the vote between Jay and Taylor. Frankly, it’s the smart move. There’s always a chance at a fracture, and splitting the vote makes it easier for the alliance to fracture, but even if two people defected to Jay’s side, making the vote 5-3-4, they’d still be down in numbers come next episode. Ultimately, the idol is a greater threat. Sunday is the only one not on board, due to wanting to use Jay, but she pulls on her big girl panties with Bret and agrees to go along with the smart move. At this point, really the only indicator that either Taylor or Jay ISN’T going home is the fact that David stated that either Taylor or Jay was going home. Usually, that means you’re safe.

As Sunday’s plan never really got off the ground, Jay and Taylor go in for one last smorgasbord before Tribal Council, where Taylor brings up that Nuclear Option he’d been talking about all episode. With Adam’s name being about as low as “General Grievous” with the pair, they agree to bring it up at Tribal Council, as a last-ditch effort to save themselves. Why they don’t bring it up BEFORE Tribal Council, when they’d be more likely to get the plan changed, is a mystery to me. I know we’ve seen plans change last minute at Tribal Council more and more over the recent seasons, but the tried and true method of getting one’s plan in place beforehand is still better.

I could take this time to talk about the good strategic double-talk, including subtle bringing up of the old Takali fractures by the old Takali, but I think our nuclear war takes precedence. While I’ve still little respect for Taylor, if you ARE going to invoke a Nuclear Option at Tribal Council, this is the way to do it. Rather than just spill the beans on Adam and hope for the best, Taylor first confesses his own food-stealing sins to the group (lumping Adam in with him in the process) so that Adam has no ammunition against him, and then tells the group about Adam’s reward steal. Taylor here is banking on the recency effect. True, he did something bad, and I’d argue something objectively worse, but by bringing up Adam second, the focus is more likely to be on Adam rather than him. Taylor also has the advantage of playing offense here. Taylor knows what he’s going to say, while Adam has to react, making his argument much less coherent. Adam, in contrast, comes off as desperately trying to salvage his reputation, admitting to most everything, but denying that he actually ate any of the food Taylor left. To make matters worse, Adam must once again do all this at full volume, making his desperation all the more apparent. All the while, Hannah tries to hide in her shirt from the awkwardness. The particular moment that highlights what makes this discussion so fascinating is Adam’s making the fair point that stealing a reward, particular the loved ones visit (which has been the crux of Taylor’s argument) ultimately doesn’t matter much in the game. Taylor points out that it affects people’s emotions, which are part of the game. Basically, Taylor is making an emotional argument. Objectively, what he did was worse, actively sabotaging a vital part of camp life, while Adam is potentially taking away something nice from something else. Adam, meanwhile, if focussing on the logic of it. In the end, his advantage isn’t much of an advantage, unless used properly, whereas Taylor has already committed an egregious offense. It’s two opposing styles of playing the game, and it’s quite dramatic to see them come to a head.

It also does a good job at highlighting what Adam’s problem in the game is. Adam is a strategist. A pretty good one too, apart from having all the subtlety of a foghorn, by which I of course mean no subtlety at all. But he’s a PURE strategist. And while “Survivor” is a strategy game, Adam seems to completely ignore the emotional aspect of the game, which is his downfall. At the end, if you can’t get people, even your own allies, to like you, you’ve got no chance at winning the game. You need both strategic intelligence and emotional intelligence. Adam has one, but not the other. Fun to watch, but ultimately a losing strategy.

Of course, the same argument could be made in reverse about Taylor, that he plays on all emotion, no logic. And that would be fair. But Taylor’s gone now, so I feel like that point is obvious.

So, what wins out in a battle of emotion vs. logic? Well, as should happen in a game of strategy, logic wins out. Taylor is sent home, which I think is the right move. True, Adam has been pretty well branded as untrustworthy by most everyone left, but he’s also been branded an asshole, making him less likely to get a counter alliance together. Therefore, he can be picked off at any time, or taken to the end as a goat. Conversely, Taylor is a likable challenge threat who could easily slip past the radar and make it to the end, even winning. Plus, I would like to remind you, the man actively sabotaged the tribe. He’s EARNED his exit. And no, I’m not sorry to see him go. Everything out of his mouth was just completely inane, and his “holier than thou” attitude that made him the stereotypical “Millennial” this season wanted just became SO ANNOYING! One could argue that he was good as someone to nag Adam, but given Adam’s current standing in the game, I’d argue that we have plenty of that. Like I said, ultimately the smart move. Our old Takali plus Adam, Zeke, and Hannah alliance has a good thing going. It may need to be shaken up, but it’s too soon.

This was a different episode for this season, and I mean that in a good way. For the first time, by NOT focussing on the “Millennials vs. Gen-X” thing, we got some intriguing debates with the emotion vs. logic thing, and we got to see both sides fracturing, with some good setups for episodes to come. Add onto that an explosive Tribal Council, and the running gag about Will not being allowed to engage in underage drinking, and you’ve got yourself one hell of an episode. So much so that it deserves a…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

The merge episode is one of the more distinctive parts of the show, and a list of the best and the worst definitely bears talking about. We’re an episode late, I know, but somehow it feels like the right time to get to it. Really not much more to explain than that, so, too the list!

TOP 5

5. “Survivor MGX”: A bit of an obvious choice, given how I praised the last episode, but I think it does stand out as one of the greats over time. Granted, my personal “short list” I drew up wasn’t so short, but this merge just has a lot more little intriguing connections that bolstered it up above some of the other choices. Really, the main thing that hurts it is that this is season 33, and so we’ve seen a lot of these plotlines done before, but this season did it well enough that it earned at least a number 5 spot.

4. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Two things set this merge above others: strategy and misdirection. When people think of the good parts of this season, they mainly think of Ozzy’s challenge dominance and Yul’s strategy. Both are prominently displayed in this merge, particularly Yul’s strategy. This is where we get him persuading Jonathan Penner to flip back over, and it’s just as good as you remember it. And while it was clear from the beginning that the Aitu Four would make a comeback here, the episode actually did a really good job of keeping us in the dark as to who would flip. We got Yul working Penner, but we also got Ozzy and Nate (yes, I’m sure there was a “Nate” on the season) bonding, and a potential flip there. Go back and give it a watch. I guarantee it’s a better episode than you remember.

3. “Survivor South Pacific”: Again, while a bit obvious, we had a really good resolution to a storyline here. Cochran overcoming the bullying of the old Savaii and changing up the entire game was really well built up here, and thanks to the narration of Coach, was really well put-together. Plus, we basically got our setup for the rest of the game, which made things exceptionally interesting.

2. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Merges with food temptation are always fun, plus we had Jeff Varner get voted out over peanut butter, which is hilarious (except to him, of course). But it’s that dramatic ending that really makes the difference. One vote, from the first episode mind you, deciding the outcome of the course of the game is quite a big finish. Though, it’s not quite as big as our number one spot.

1. “Survivor Borneo”: This is one episode where I can’t disagree with the early season purists. Holding the record for most individuals to receive votes at a single Tribal Council, this could be argued as the true birth of “Survivor” strategy, given that a popular but threatening survivalist ultimately got the axe. Even as someone who was used to threats going at the merge, this still shocked even me. Seeing Gretchen go was just that powerful. And the mystery of strategy vs. emotions, much like with this current episode, made for compelling storytelling that has yet to be beaten.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor All-Stars”: Much like the season as a whole, this merge is a mix of entertaining and painful. We got heated personal discussions, and ultimately the less-likable characters (and Rupert) winning out. What gives it an honorable mention? That look on Lex’s face when Kathy keeps her immunity. That look alone deserves mention. I’m surprised there isn’t a meme of it.

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Tocantins”: Rarely is there a “bad” merge on “Survivor”, and even calling the Tocantins merge “bad” is a bit of disrespect. “Underwhelming” might be a better word. We got some obvious strategizing, and good setup for later on, but no real fireworks to stand out. Plus, due to Joe’s medical evacuation, we were robbed of even having a dramatic vote to tend the episode. That alone is what sinks this merge to the “Bottom 5” list.

4. “Survivor Nicaragua”: If the merge on “Survivor Tocantins” has the sin of being underwhelming, then this one has the sin of being incomprehensible. Alina? The person we’ve seen next to none of is the one who goes home? That’s just not the stuff of legend, and really not what a merge should be.

3. “Survivor Cambodia”: Perhaps a more personal choice, but the sudden attack on Kass this episode was a real turn-off. I won’t say she did NOTHING to deserve the boot (she did piss off majority leader Andrew Savage at the previous Tribal Council after all), but like with “Survivor All-Stars”, the personal attacks, in this case between Kass and Tasha, really just brought the whole thing down. With too many people to be truly comprehensible, and no hilarious Lex-face to compensate, this one just doesn’t stand up in the end.

2. “Survivor Thailand”: While I often complain of the merge happening too early in more recent seasons, I will concede that the merge can happen too late as well. Such is the case here. With the old Chuay Gahn up 5-3, this just became a predictable Pagonging, brought down further by the slimy Brian Heidik winning the reward challenge, and us having to, unfortunately, learn more about his personal life. Gag.

1. “Survivor Guatemala”: Yes, even one of my personal favorite seasons, and one that I feel gets a bad reputation, does have the worst merge. The one real criticism I’ve seen levied against this season, apart from being forgettable, was that the cast was largely made up of assholes. I personally take this as mostly people being butthurt about Stephenie LaGrossa, who was America’s sweetheart after “Survivor Palau” showing her more strategic side, and people being unhappy that she wasn’t as pure and wholesome as they thought. In this episode, though, I can kind of see their point. The majority tribe at the merge usually has some power of the minority, but the second iteration of Nakum REALLY came down hard on the second iteration of Yaxha here. It didn’t help that the (admittedly intriguing) twist of opting out of the challenge for food was introduced her. While a good twist in general, this one served to highlight the tribe division, making non-assholes seem like assholes, and the assholes seem like bigger assholes. Not even a really cool immunity challenge can redeem an episode where most everyone is unlikeable and the bad guys win.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Worlds Apart”: Really, there’s not a whole lot to hate about this merge. By and large, it’s just kind of standard. In fact, it almost didn’t make either list. Then I remembered that THIS was the season that gave us “Merica” for the merge tribe name. Still don’t know what they were thinking.

Bad merges aside, this episode of the current season was still really good. Those plotlines we saw starting in this episode seem to be growing, so hopefully intrigue will be the order of the day!

Will still can’t drink alcohol.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

“Survivor” Retrospectives: South Pacific

And so we come to South Pacific. No, not the musical, the “Survivor” season. I have to admit, when I started doing “‘Survivor’ Retrospectives”, I wasn’t at all sure I was going to do this season. Not so much because it’s a hard season to analyze or anything. In fact, this one might be one of the easier seasons to get through in terms of all that goes on. No, I wasn’t sure I was going to do this one because this is where I come in. “Idol Speculation” stated with South Pacific. “Survivor Redemption Island” was just that bad that it caused me to start blogging about the show before anyone had any reason to give a damn about my opinion. But this also meant that I’d kind of already given my thoughts on the season, why go over it again? I’m doing it now, partly because I’m so obsessed that I need to finish EVERY season, regardless of whether or not I have much of anything to say about it, and partly because when I blog about a season, I talk about it on an episode-by-episode basis. True, I try to give some overall thoughts in my final blog of the season, but that’s still my knee-jerk reaction. Time and space let you see things you couldn’t before, and so, since I might have something different to say about it. So here we are, South Pacific. Was my first blogging season good? Bad? A little of both? An obvious “Guardians of the Galaxy” reference? Perhaps all of the above. Read on to find out.

Before commencing the reading on and finding out, though, I should give fair warning about spoilers. From this point forward, I write these blogs as if talking to someone who was already familiar with the outcome of the season, or at least didn’t care about knowing the major plot points of said season. If you just want to know what I generally think of the season, without any of these spoilers, scroll IMMEDIATELY to the bottom of this web page, where I have a section labeled “Abstract” that will give you just what you’re looking for. For everyone else, who wants to know what I think about this season in nauseating detail, it’s time.

CAST

Surprisingly for a season with returning contestants (a fact that will be talked about a LOT in later sections), the big star of this season is not one of said returning contestants, but the little red-haired nerd himself, John Cochran. Much like David Murphy on “Survivor Redemption Island”, Cochran (as he annoyingly insisted on being called) was built up BIG TIME pre-season. Not so much for his smarts, although that was a factor (Harvard-educated lawyer and all that), but for his superfan status. He was pitched as the uber-“Survivor” nerd, the one who actually got off the couch to play the game he loved. And, to some degree, he did not disappoint. He certainly had an encyclopedic knowledge of “Survivor”, certainly showed how happy he was to be in the game, and did, in my book, have a few moments of good strategy (which will be talked about in the “Twist” section). But what Cochran was most definitely was a character. While David Murphy seemed to fail to deliver in many ways, Cochran made sure he would not be forgotten. He was a caricature of a nerd, pathetic at challenges (even puzzle-based ones), cracking self-deprecating jokes about using the tribe machete, and falling victim to amusing injuries. He sort of floundered through most of the game, but did flounder in such a way that he would not be forgotten. Note that I say “not forgotten” instead of “liked”. This will amaze people who did not join “Survivor” fandom until “Survivor Caramoan” or later, but Cochran was not universally loved or respected like he pretty much is now. We’ll talk about the changing perceptions of Cochran when we come to that season, but for now, let’s focus on South Pacific. While it would be unfair to say that Cochran was universally hated or disrespected back in the day, and it would be fair to say that he was the big name people remembered from this season even then, Cochran was considered the “villain” of the piece. The trouble with Cochran being a caricature of the “Survivor” fanbase was that Cochran did not get shown in a positive light, largely. He did very little strategically, at least compared to what people expected of him, and there were many confessionals in which the Savaii tribe relentlessly berated Cochran and how pathetic he was. Given Cochran’s general performance, these could not be refuted, so he seemed like an insult to the “Survivor” fanbase. When he finally DID make a move that was purely his own (which will be gone over in the “Twist” section), it was seen as being so poorly executed and stupid that the fanbase grew even more insulted, and while he had a few supporters even then, the rallying cry was largely “Cochran sucks!” This softened somewhat by season’s end, due to the clip show “Survivor” used to do. Lest you think that what’s shown in the clip show never has an impact on the show, let South Pacific stand as the counterargument. Remember all those confessionals about how pathetic Cochran was? The clip show gave us how the tribe was treating Cochran to his face. Suffice to say, it wasn’t very nice. This gave Cochran a lot of sympathy, and while many still didn’t agree with his move, they could better understand why, and so Cochran became somewhat more popular. He still wasn’t particularly beloved, that wouldn’t come until “Survivor Caramoan”. At the very least, though, Cochran was acknowledged as being the big character of the season, and seen as somewhat put upon. For my part? I loved Cochran! While the whole “caricature” thing did get a bit old, I identified with how put-upon Cochran was by his tribe a lot. It seemed to me like he had some brains that he didn’t really get to show, since Savaii kind of cut him off at the knees before he had a chance to shine. He was somewhat funny, and had a lot of potential. Did he let me down from what I expected? Sure. Was he more annoying than I would have liked? Kind of? But was he still enjoyable, and did I like watching him? Yes. If you were going to have a flagship character for South Pacific, you could do worse than John Cochran.

But, of course, Cochran wasn’t the ONLY big name to come out of South Pacific. No, for all that we got the pretty cool John Cochran this season, we also had endure yet ANOTHER Hantz this time around! The producers obviously realized that they couldn’t use Russell again, after this last performance, but they couldn’t let that gold-mine die. So, we had a season where we had to endure his nephew, Brandon Hantz. While maybe not as hated as on his return on “Survivor Caramoan”, Brandon was still seen as annoying and hypocritical on his season. He was one of the annoying “moral crusaders” who wanted to play the game honestly, which we were sadly getting a LOT of at this point. On top of that, Brandon went back and forth on how he wanted to play. First he said he would hide his heritage from his tribe (something I thought would be difficult to do, given that the name “Hantz” was tattooed on his arm), but then goes out and reveals it in a big, cheesy confession that ate up valuable strategy time. He said he was going to take care of people, but then went on an attack against Mikayla Wingle for no apparent reason, only getting her voted out. I’ve been more of a Mikayla fan than most, but even I will admit that apart from being “the girl pursued for no reason by crazy Brandon Hantz”, she’s not memorable, and didn’t contribute much to the season. But back to Brandon. While we hadn’t seen the worst of him at this point, the audience still wasn’t big on him. He was preachy and stupid, and I completely agree with the audience here. Though not nearly as bad as Russell Hantz (“Survior Samoa”), in that he was somewhat more polite overall, Brandon’s schtick of morality and stupidity just got old really fast, and while he was remembered after the season, it wasn’t much fun to watch, and he’s part of what drags down the season.

Fortunately for “South Pacific”, for every Brandon-type character we had to endure, we had a good character to love, like Dawn Meehan. Once again, this is a case where the character became more well-known after a future appearance, but even during and after South Pacific, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who disliked Dawn, and many people remembered her fondly. Somewhat similar to how I viewed Cochran, Dawn was seen as someone who could potentially have good strategy, but got cut off in their prime. She also drew a lot of comparisons to Holly Hoffman (“Survivor Nicaragua”) as an older lady whose emotions got the better of her early game, but came back to do well. These comparisons are nor surprising, since Dawn was actually supposed to be on “Survivor Nicaragua”, but got cut for Holly instead, meaning the characters are so similar that CBS didn’t want two on one season. Still, Dawn was a great addition. You could tell that she had gumption. She was likeable, and for my part, it’s always fun to see an older lady on “Survivor”. I, like a lot of the audience, tend to feel they’re more interesting than the generic good-looking bikini babes “Survivor” likes to give us, and so Dawn was a great addition to the cast, and another part of what makes it stand out.

Before we delve into the returnees for this season, as well as those popular at the time that seasons since have made us forget, we must discuss someone who, while not HUGELY popular at the time, did make a big splash afterward. I’m talking about our winner for the season, Sophie Clarke. Sophie played a very quiet, snarky game. She was noticed on the season, giving a fair number of scathing confessionals about her fellow tribemates, but also showing a bit of personal growth, opening up more as the season went along. “Survivor” very rarely does story arcs with character development, at least over the course of a single season, but when they do happen, they usually show people developing strategically. Watch Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien on “Survivor Marquesas” if you want an example of a season-long story arc. But Sophie was a very rare case, since she developed socially. For a lot of fans, including myself, this was kind of fun to watch, with her snark keeping us entertained over the more boring parts. On top of this, Sophie was also always involved in strategy. Whenever you had a plan to flip, or a discussion of who to vote out, Sophie was there, which sort of quietly showed her intelligence. Oddly, though, Sophie is respected as a strategist, even though she never made an overt move. And here in lies the conundrum that is Sophie: she never actually made a move in the game, apart from getting into the winning alliance and giving a good Final Tribal Council Performance (one of the best of all time, in my opinion). And yet, unlike other winners who basically made no moves in the game, Sophie is generally respected as a good winner. Part of this, of course, is due to the fact that she wasn’t another returning contestant winner. Beyond that, however, one could see that by her not making a move, she actually dictated the course of the game. By her not flipping, others didn’t flip, and while this made for a fairly predictable game (which I’ll discuss the drawbacks of in the “Overall” section), it also meant that Sophie knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth. She knew that, if she stayed the course, she’d go to the end with people who were easy to beat, and so stopped those people from flipping, and potentially screwing her game up. One has to look closely to see (explaining why Sophie’s game is really only visible on rewatch), but Sophie did play the game really well, and this combined with her growth and wit made her a fairly good winner. Certainly better than her two predecessors. And she won the final immunity challenge against Ozzy Lusth (“Survivor Cook Islands”). That’s pretty cool. One thing that I also personally like about Sophie is that fact that she was a young woman on the show (22 at the time), yet clearly was not a dumb lady who looked good in a bikini. She was cast because she was a good character. Don’t get me wrong, Sophie is hardly unattractive, but she’s not the stereotypical model of feminine beauty that “Survivor” loves in their young women. I love that fact that arguably the most respected young winner of the show is the one who isn’t just a brainless beauty. Just goes to show that casting CHARACTERS rather than MODELS usually yields better season results.

Who, exactly, was this goat that Sophie wanted to take to the end. None other than the Dragon-Slayer himself. Benjamin “Coach” Wade was on this season, this time rambling on about both Christianity and Greek Mythology! While there was a certain amount of “Coach fatigue” by this point, Coach had been spaced out a little better than Russell Hantz, and so people were generally accepting of him. Coach played a better strategic game this time around, which people liked, and was arguably somewhat less irritating with the preachiness, but like Brandon Hantz, he contributed largely to the negative feelings most people have about this season. I won’t say that I liked Coach, but then I’ve never been a big Coach fan. Personally, I was more a fan of him on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, where he seemed to have some personal growth and was better than Russell Hantz, but while not the highlight of the season, he was still memorable. But even Coach pales in comparison to Challenge Jesus himself, the aforementioned Ozzy. Unlike other recent returnees, Ozzy had had a long hiatus from the show, making people happy to see him back. And Ozzy delivered exactly what people wanted to see. He was good outdoors. He was good in challenges. He was an overall nice guy. He brought a bit more strategy than in his previous incarnations, and as I’ll be discussing later, he was a nice monkey wrench in a season that was ultimately pretty predictable. Even so, I actually found Ozzy to be a bit preachy in a different direction, and I wasn’t a big Ozzy fan to begin with, so while I acknowledge his importance as a character, I don’t consider him a highlight of the season.

That’s where the currently notable characters end, but there are a couple more people who were semi-popular at the time that are worth talking about now. The first of these is supposed strategist Jim Rice. Similar to Dawn, Jim was seen as someone who had a lot of potential as a strategist (and even showed it by deposing Ozzy in a pretty fun manner, which I do give him points for), but got cut off at the knees by Cochran’s twist. He was also one of the people on the receiving end of Cochran’s move, and did not take it well. He got a lot of love as the voice of the audience when Cochran was hated. As Cochran became more popular, Jim Rice became less popular, due to his being rightly seen as a major bully of Cochran, and taking his vote-off too hard. I quite agree with the latter take on Jim Rice. I certainly respect that he had some strategic potential, particularly for his taking Ozzy down a peg, but the bitterness he had towards Cochran for a fair game move was one of the more unpleasant aspects of the season, and therefore, I think it’s only too right that he’s largely forgotten. He could have been great, but his actions made things uncomfortable, so good riddance. In a similar vain, Whitney Duncan was another potential strategist who fell from grace at least in part due to her treatment of Cochran. She had a few subtle strategy moments that both I and the audience rather liked, but again, once she was on the receiving end of Cochran’s move, she became pretty hard to listen to for how hard she was on Cochran. I did admire that, despite being another one of the “hot girls” of the season, she seemed to have a few brains, but like with Jim Rice, I can’t get beyond her treatment of Cochran. As if Whitney didn’t have enough of a hard time for this, her reputation was further tarnished by a scandal after the game. During her time, she had formed an alliance with fellow contestant Keith Tollefson (who isn’t remembered at all) via flirting. Most viewers assumed this was strategy on Whitney’s part, but afterwards, the two became engaged. This would be fine, another romance from the show, if it weren’t for the fact that Whitney was TECHNICALLY married at the time. This didn’t look good, and a subsequent appearance on “The Amazing Race” made her and Keith look like desperate reality-whores, the final nail in the coffin. It’s a bit of a shame. While I was never a big fan of Whitney’s she had some potential (more even than Jim, I’d say, since she was more subtle), and even though I don’t like her personally, she could have been a good all-star.

Most of the rest of the cast is pretty forgettable, and it’s a majority, unfortunately. Still, credit where credit is due, this season produced a LOT of good, memorable characters. Some you wish you could forget, and I do have to detract points for those people, but this season had many standouts who were good, and a decent amount of strategy besides. Is it one of the best casts the show has ever had. No, but it’s pretty decent, with a lot of excellent standouts, so I’d say this is one aspect of the season that does a good job.

Score: 7 out of 10.

CHALLENGES

Usually when I say a season is not beloved by the audience as a whole, I can at least say the challenges are good. This is not the case here. The challenges are complete crap. When they aren’t reused, they either fail to stand out or are just lame overall. Shall I remind you of the “Jack and Jill” challenge of matching masks, or the “Hold the coconut in ropes” challenge? Yeah, not the stuff of “Survivor” legend, or are just stupid and poor to look at in the case of the latter. This season had a couple of good challenges. One involved dismantling a cart to use it as a slingshot, and another had the “building a house of cards” challenge, but with an added balance component. But for every one of these, there’s a “toss the coconut in the hole” challenge. Yeah, this season wins virtually no points in the challenge department. Bland, forgettable, and often not that challenging.

Score: 2 out of 10.

TWISTS

I know I made the joke “A Tale of Two Twinnies” about the finale of “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, but I’m sorely tempted to reuse a similar pun her. “A Tale of Two Twists” this really is, since nearly every player-implemented twist does an incredible job, while the producer implemented twists suck hard. Want to know how bad the producer twists suck? Put it this way: THEY’RE THE SAME AS LAST SEASON! Yep, we’ve got two returning players, Redemption Island still in effect, merge at 12 after the Redemption Island duel, someone comes back at the final five, end of story. Now, if you thought these didn’t work last time, if you think people thought they were a bad idea at the time, imagine how bad they seemed done back to back. This season therefore got off to a bad start in the twist department, since it seemed like a lame rehash of “Survivor Redemption Island”, a season that, to put it mildly, did not go over well with the audience. While Coach and Ozzy were probably ok choices to bring back, people didn’t need to see them, and Redemption Island still had the same problems as it had on its inaugural season. Literally, only two things were done differently. First, only two people were in duels post merge, rather than the three of “Survivor Redemption Island”. Technically an improvement, but that’s like saying a shit sandwich is made slightly better with the addition of ketchup. You’re correct, but you’re still eating a shit sandwich. The other change was that, rather than combine reward and immunity challenges post-merge, the winner of Redemption Island Duels (or occasionally the immunity challenge) chose a member (or members) of the merged tribe to get reward. This is actually not a bad concept, adding a new layer of politics to the game, and, in the case of the duel winner dispensing reward, kept the people on Redemption Island more involved in the game. Sadly, nothing much ever came of this use of politics, and it hasn’t been tried again. A good idea, but one lacking in execution. Also, while a good idea, Redemption Island was not needed to execute it, so suffice to say, the negatives of reusing twists, and particularly THESE twists, greatly outweigh the positives. Oh, and if you thought the Redemption Island twist was stacked in favor of Boston Rob (“Survivor Marquesas”) it was not nearly as bad as being in favor of Ozzy. After all, which contestant holds the record for most individual immunity wins? Ozzy.

But that’s only one half of the coin. We got some good contestant twists, but they were a while coming. Actually, most of the vote-offs were predictable, and the only real surprise, such as it was, was the revelation of Brandon Hantz’ true identity to his tribe, something the audience had known about since before the season, and was so over-the-top that it was hard to take seriously. As you can tell, this was not a season with an auspicious start. Our first real twist comes in episode 5, when Jim and Cochran conspire to overthrow Ozzy, and do so. This is where Jim shines as a strategist, and Cochran starts to come out of his shell. We also get some really good, subtle gameplay from Whitney here. A pretty standard twist in the game, but still a good one.

In episode 7, things really start to get crazy. Basically, the first woman voted out of Upolu, Christine Shields-Markoski, had been winning Redemption duel after Redemption duel (inadvertently showing how broken the Redemption Island twist often is: winner of the first duel usually has a streak of wins), which made Savaii scared. They feared she would go back to Upolu if she won one more challenge, and so they hatched one of the craziest plans ever. They INTENTIONALLY voted Ozzy out at this juncture, after he hands his hidden immunity idol to Cochran to ensure it stays in the game, so he can beat Christine. Let me state here and now that this is a STUPID plan! Sure, it worked out perfectly, and so goes down as brilliant, but imagine, just for a moment, if the winner of the duel HADN’T gotten to go back into the game. Savaii would have been SCREWED! I like Cochran, but he’s no good in challenges (this season) versus Ozzy, the challenge beast. Not to mention that if you DO merge, you’ve offended the guy with the hidden immunity idol, and the most likely swing vote, by berating him for his challenge performance. Not a good position. All this on top of the plan being pointless. Anyone who could listen to and understand English, and read body language, could tell that Christine was NOT happy with Upolu, even going so far as to call Coach “Benjamin” just to piss him off. CLEARLY she would have been on your side. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy Cochran stayed in the game, but this plan could easily have backfired, and it’s pretty much a miracle that it didn’t. While a stupid plan, I will admit that it’s fun to watch the stupid chaos ensue in hindsight. A highlight of the season, but nothing compared to what would happen next.

Episode 8. After a double immunity challenge in which Ozzy and Dawn both won immunity, and with a hidden immunity idol in play, Savaii seemed set to dominate after an even merge between the tribes. Cochran was to play the role of the swing vote to find out what Upolu was up to. Except that he was ACTUALLY a swing vote, and turned on his aggressors. Yes. The biggest moment of South Pacific is Cochran betraying his tribe on a re-vote and getting rid of Keith, after planting false information that Upolu was targeting Whitney. And it is glorious. This is also where the Cochran hate came from, as this was seen as a stupid and cowardly move, done primarily to avoid drawing rocks. I maintain that this was the smartest move Cochran could have made at the time, given the information he was getting from his tribe. Generally, one should not trust the people who were just saying earlier that you should have been voted out. I see waiting for the re-vote to flip not as an avoiding of the purple rock, but a misguided attempt to make the betrayal sting less. It didn’t work, obviously, either for the tribe or for the audience, but an attempt nonetheless. As I said, when it came out how badly Cochran was bullied, he was eased up on, but Jim’s repeating of the word “coward” and Whitney’s “You disgust me.” speeches really took their toll. Still, whether you agree with Cochran’s move or not , it set the tone for the rest of the season. Coach’s alliance was not able to run the table for the rest of the game. There was a surprise double Tribal Council in there, but for the most part the season from there on was predictable.

Well, mostly predictable. There were enough crazy people in the game for random things to happen. The big game-changer was Brandon giving immunity to Albert Destrade, a contestant of absolutely no note, and getting voted out for it. It’s the crowning moment of stupid for Brandon, and while we’d seen this sort of stupidity from Erik Reichenbach (“Survivor Micronesia”) before, and it lost some impact, it was still kind of funny, and a fitting end to Brandon.

Oh, and Ozzy, there was the monkey wrench of Ozzy.

Yes, Redemption Island did its job this time, keeping Ozzy in the game long enough to come back twice (making him the only person voted out three times in one season), and give us a possible foil to Upolu’s plans. After all, if Ozzy makes it to the end, he wins, no question. Quite a bit of drama for the end there. Drama only topped by Ozzy making the final immunity challenge, only to lose on the puzzle to the lovely Sophie, thus explaining part of why she’s beloved. Again, while I’m not a big Ozzy fan, it was nice to see this possibility play out, but not to the obvious conclusion of Ozzy winning.

Not sure if this should count as a twist, but I love the moment, on the aforementioned “house of cards” challenge, where Sophie screws up, and then demands that Albert come over and help her win to beat Ozzy. Didn’t come to fruition, but a fun idea, and a great bit of humor for the final episode.

I’ll talk more about this in a minute, but also a twist is that, although this season played out much like “Survivor Redemption Island”, with a Pagonging by an unsinkable alliance led by a returnee, it did not conclude with a returnee win. Sophie won. She was the best player of the final three, I’d argue. Good twist.

While maybe not jam-packed with contestant twists, South Pacific had a lot more hits than misses in that department. Most contestant twists were good game-changers, and even those that weren’t as good were usually fun to watch. Long dry spells, and predictable Pagonging, and the reusing of twists no one wanted to see again really drag this season’s twists down, though. The degree of goodness of the contestant twists keeps this one above average in the twist department, but just barely.

Score: 6 out of 10.

OVERALL

In terms of theme, you couldn’t be more screwed than being named “South Pacific”. I’ve talked about the problem “Survivor” has with seasons with a theme of “Generic South Pacific Island”, but when your season is actually NAMED “Survivor South Pacific”, you’ve got problems. As if this wasn’t bad enough, the reusing of twists hurt the season in terms of theme as well. As bad an idea as it was to bring back Boston Rob and Russell, you could at least argue that they were connected in some way, tied into the “redemption” idea of Redemption Island. What unified Coach and Ozzy? Nothing. Add that onto the fact that the blatant twist reuse made it seem like the show was out of ideas, and you’ve got a season that’s seeded for failure. And yet it didn’t fail. True, it’s not a beloved season, but it had some good characters and moments that stand out. Maybe not as much as other seasons, and I’d never say this is “Survivor” at it’s best, but on it’s own? Pretty good season. Low end of average I’d say.

So, what are the bad points, apart from the inauspicious start? Well, first off, over time this season did develop a theme. It was a theme about the “morality” of the game, and how to play within those morals. This is not a good theme. It’s preachy and annoying. No one liked it. Having no theme would have been better than this. Additionally while this season had a lot of stand-out characters, it also had a lot of duds, and that can really drag. Remember Rick Nelson? Of course you don’t, he’s almost as forgettable as “Purple Kelly” (“Survivor Nicaragua”), and he was the “Fan Favorite” voted on again! Yeah, no wonder they stopped doing that after Rick. Now, you might say that the number of good characters who made it far is a good thing, since everybody who was memorable made the merge at least. The problem is that by the time you get to the final six, apart from Ozzy, who’s on Redemption Island at this point, the only people who are memorable are Coach, Sophie, and Brandon. This seems fine until you consider that the only LIKEABLE person of these people is Sophie. Not a very auspicious final few. Thank goodness Ozzy was there to give people someone to root for.

Which brings us to possibly the largest weight on the season after the reused twists: the Pagonging. We really needed an unpredictable season, and Cochran’s move was one in the right direction, but the boot order was predetermined after that move. Upolu was the tribe that had one rock solid alliance that would not budge, while Savaii was a lot more willing to cannibalize it’s ranks, thus making for a more interesting end of the season. But Upolu dominated, and so the rest of the season became relatively predictable, especially in hindsight.

With that said, it’s worth noting that this season did a good job of keeping us guessing with the Pagonging. If you’re going to have a Pagonging, play up how likely it is for a flip to happen. And there was talk of flipping, and there was Ozzy the monkey wrench, so while the season ended up a boring Pagonging with a highly unlikeable final 6, it did the best with what it had.

That’s really the best way to sum up South Pacific as a season. It had a lot working against it. Reused twists. An unlikeable ending group. A boring Pagonging. Yet it took those things, used good marketing techniques, mixed in some good characters and contestant twists, and made a season that was perfectly ok. With a few more good characters and less reused twists, this could have been a great season. As it stands, it’s definitely in the lower end of “Survivor”, but I say it’s still a pretty good season.

Score: 22 out of 40.

ABSTRACT

South Pacific is not one of your great seasons, but it does a pretty good job. You’ve got some stand-out moments and people to root for. It is one of your more predictable seasons, but it does a good job covering that up. While not essential to understanding “Survivor” history, I still recommend watching it a couple of times. It’s entertaining enough for the first watch, and there’s some subtle pleasures upon rewatch. If you’ve got the time, it’s definitely worth checking out.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Caramoan” Cast Assessment

Salutations, my fellow suckers for “Survivor”.  Welcome back to “Idol Speculation”, my knee-jerk opinion that everyone is entitled to!  Well, seeing as I’ve been gone for several weeks, and the title of this blog is not “’Survivor’ Retrospectives: Guatemala”, you might conclude that the cast of “Survivor Caramoan” has been announced.  You would be correct.  Very astute.  Give yourself a cookie.

Now, there’s been a lot of controversy surrounding the twist for this season, given that it’s reused, as well as the picks for “favorites”.  Now, I’ll save my overall thoughts for the end of my blog, but I want to quickly address two issues that are going to come up in regards to my organization of this blog.  Normally, I just list off names of castaways, and include tribe along with the information about them in parenthesis.  However, since this season is so dependent of its twist, I will be organizing within tribe, and thereby not include it in personal information.  The other thing to note is that I will refer to this season as “Survivor Caramoan” and not “Survivor Caramoan: Fans vs. Favorites”, partly because I’ve set the precedent for not including subtitles anyway, and partly to differentiate it from “Survivor Micronesia”, the FIRST Fans vs. Favorites season.  Now, on to the cast analysis, starting with…

THE FANS (Gota Tribe):

Alexandra “Allie” Pohevitz (25, Bartender, Oceanside, NY): While I said that I would discuss the season overall later, for the purposes of writing about Allie, I will say that I find the women this season to be lackluster, particularly on the “Fans” side. This is partly due to at least 3 of the women on the fans side being so similar that I have a hard time differentiating them.  Allie is one of these, though I’m going to start off on a happier note with her, as I think she has a better chance than her other look-alikes of making it far into the game.  There’s just something about her that isn’t QUITE all talk when she brags about her social skills.  Also, she seemed more soft-spoken than a lot of the women on this season, which to me says she’ll fly under the radar.  While I could see her going early, I get the feeling she’ll sneak her way into the merge at least.  I doubt she’ll win, just due to a lack of confidence that she’ll be able to make the necessary moves, but I also wouldn’t call her cannon fodder.

Edward “Eddie” Fox (23, Fireman/EMT, East Brunswick, NJ): It seems my current goal is to get the generic people out of the way early, as Eddie helps fill this season’s quotient of “Generic, good–looking strong guy”.  He talks a big game, I don’t buy it.  I sort of look at him like I looked at Pete of “Survivor Philippines”.  He thinks he’s smarter than he is, and he talks a big game that I doubt he can back up.  Still, he’s not the MOST unlikeable schmoozer on the “Fans” side (we’ll get to him later), and he does seem to be physically strong, so I expect him to stick around until the merge for his strength, and then be picked off by more competent players.  Also, one fan coincidence I notice, Fans vs. Favorites seasons must have a thing about featuring firefighters, as “Survivor Micronesia” gave us the ever brash Joel Anderson.

Hope Driskill (23, Pre-Law Student, Jefferson City, MO): Fodder, meet cannon.  Hope fills the second of our 3 “look-alike” slots for the women on the “Fans” side, but unlike Allie, I have absolutely NO confidence in her.  She’s another pageant winner, which usually doesn’t bode well, and just seems flighty and unprepared to me.  I found zilch to recommend her, and if she’s the first off on the fan side (I suspect a favorite will be the TRUE first off), I will not be surprised in the slightest.

Julia Landauer (21, Racecar Driver, Stanford, CA): What’s this?  A woman on the “Fans” side who isn’t completely bland and boring?  Unheard of!  In case it wasn’t obvious, I like Julia a lot.  Aside from the unique occupation, she has a toughness and social grace that I don’t see in a lot of the women this time around.  I think she’s adaptable enough to bond with the girls or the guys, and I think she’s young enough to not be seen as a threat.  She’s strong enough to be useful, but not so much as to be threatening.  All in all, she seems like a good, strong woman with a decent head on her shoulders, and while I doubt she’d be voted for to win (just due to her age) I expect her to at least make the merge, and wouldn’t be overly shocked to see her in the finals.  I do concede that she might be voted out for being different from the prototypical female, I think she can overcome this without too much difficulty.

Laura Alexander (23, Administrative Officer, Washington, D.C.): Just when you thought we were getting into uniqueness, we get our third look-alike.  While she does fall in the middle of the 3 for me, I lump her in more with Hope than Allie.  I suspect the environment will overwhelm her, and her only “skill” she professed is being able to adapt to several types of people, due to working in Washington D.C.  Although this is a more legit claim than SOME castaways make, being on an island is very different from being in Washington D.C., and I just don’t see Laura adapting that quickly.  I highly doubt she’ll be the VERY first one gone from the “Fans” side, but I’d still expect her to be gone before the merge.

Matt Bischoff (38, BMX Bike Sales, Cincinnati, OH): I can only figure that after failing to become governor of Indiana, Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) fell into a depression, changed his name, got some tattoos, and moved to Ohio, as Matt is very clearly a Rupert clone.  Same beard, same play style, even their voices are somewhat similar.  Although I find Matt to be very likeable, and I think fans will gravitate toward him, being compared to Rupert just about kills any chance he has of winning this game.  While I adore Rupert, and think that he’s better strategically than people give him credit for, I will admit, as will most other fans, that he’s not the brightest bulb on the Hanukkah tree.  Still, Rupert tends to last fairly late into the game, and if Matt can emulate his likeableness and usefulness, then I’d look for him to make the mid merge at least.  If not, he’ll be an early boot for being so blatantly different, but somehow, I doubt that will happen.

Michael Snow (44, Event Planner, New York, NY): You know, it’s doing bios like these that really make me despise myself.  I like this guy a lot.  He’s a huge fan of theatre, which I identify with.  But I have sworn to give my honest assessment of his chances in the game, and I have to say, he’s toast.  Again, certainly not first vote off material, but definitely gone before the merge.  To be frank, he’s just too different.  I know I’ve said that some people on the “Fans” side are different as well, and can overcome said differences, but Michael is just TOO different to have any chance.  Here’s the problem: This season’s “Fans” tribe is very physical, very based in strength.  Strong people tend to identify with other strong people, and thus keep them around longer.  Michael is not that strong a person, by his own admission.  It might be ok if he wasn’t the only one on his tribe, but he is.  That makes him an outsider, an easy person to pick out from the crowd and say “Let’s get him out”.  Even this might be overcomable, but he himself admits that he can get neurotic at times.  Speaking as a theatre person myself, this is not abnormal, but it does get grating, and just makes him too hard to live with.  Bottom line, I like the guy, but I don’t expect him to stick around very long.

Reynold Toepfer (30, Real Estate Sales, San Francisco, CA): SCHMOOOOOOZE!  Congratulations Reynold, your job in this game is to extend Eddie’s time in the game by making him look nice by comparison.  Seriously, he and Eddie would be clones but for the fact that Reynold exudes more schmooze per square inch than just about any contestant I’ve seen.  He’s full of himself, thinks he’s got it in the bag, and in my opinion has no idea how to behave socially.  While he is strong, and might be kept around for that, I wouldn’t look to this guy to make the merge, by any means.

Shamar Thomas (27, Iraq War Veteran, Brooklyn, NY): In contrast to Reynold, here we have someone who is GENUINELY charming.  In fact, he’s so charming that he’s actually my male pick to win the whole game. I was hesitant at first, for a few reasons.  He seemed like a bombastic personality to me, which I thought would make people more likely to vote him out, and he’s military, which, while it might make for a nice guy, and also seeds for better ability to adapt to the tough situations “Survivor” produces, also tends to lead to far too much loyalty in one’s alies, which has been the downfall of many a castaway.  While I don’t deny that Shamar does in fact have a bombastic personality, in watching a few interviews with him, I was struck by how charming he was, to the point where I couldn’t help but like him.  Inherent likeability is a good quality in a castaway.  It’s how Cirie Fields (“Survivor Exile Island”) managed to stick around so long in her first outing.  It also goes leaps and bounds towards counteracting his bombasticness, but even if it can’t be fully overcome the bombasticness, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as it makes you seem less of a threat. Also, during interviews he talked about a willingness to play a Russell Hantz-ian (“Survivor Samoa”) game, which, while I do not approve of this style of gameplay, does lead me to believe that he’ll be a lot better strategically than a lot of military vets that are on this show.  For a good combination of brains, brawn, and likeability, I could easily see Shamar winning.  Plus, there’s something about a guy who stands up to NYPD officers harassing “Occupy Wall Street” protesters that just makes me like the guy.

Sherri Biethman (41, Fast Food Franchisee, Boise, ID): Completing the group of castaways known as “People whose last names I will have a horrible time spelling”, we have Sherri, who is so dead on arrival it is not even funny.  Despite being one of the older castaways this time around, she also exudes the most of the modern world to me, the most entitlement.  She’s very obviously tanned, and has equally obviously had several plastic surgeries.  She seems the type to me who will crumble under the poor conditions out on the island.  Also, I get the feeling she’s entitled somewhat, which will grate on her fellow tribemates.  What are her positives?  None whatsoever.  Expect her out before the merge, easy.

Well, with that over with, we now move on to…

THE FAVORITES (Bikal Tribe)

Before I begin, let me say that analyzing the favorites will be a bit different for me.  True, I’ve analyzed returnees before, but never a whole tribe of them.  This puts me in a rather unique position, at least for this blog.  While in my cast assessment I may criticize some people’s chances in the game, I try to refrain from saying that casting made a bad choice, as I don’t know who else was considered, and therefore that person may have been the best choice of the lot.  With a tribe of returnees, however, I DO know what other options CBS had, and thus WILL say that some choices are bad, and will back them up with a short section on who I would have cast in their stead. For this section, I will not uphold most of the limits CBS set on itself for this season.  Winners, and people from before “Survivor Micronesia” are all fair game, in my book.  However, I will uphold the “No players we’ve already seen before” limit, because I agree that it’s time to start cultivating a new batch of All-Stars.  Also, I will try to match the personality of my replacement choices as closely as possible to the people they’re replacing, as otherwise the season would be nothing but hardcore strategists, which, while I would find enjoyable, does not lead to much variety.

My final note on handling returnees is that I’ll be analyzing them in the chronological order to which they appeared, meaning we start with…

Erik Reichenbach (27, Comic Book Artist, Santa Clara, CA.  5^th place, “Survivor Micronesia”): Ah, yes the Ice Cream Scooper from Hell, MI.  The man I labeled “Dumbest Survivor Ever”, but who has since lost that title (the Actual “Dumbest Survivor Ever”, Colton Cumbie [“Survivor One World”] is thankfully not appearing this season) is back, and to tell you the truth, I couldn’t be happier.  Contractually obligated to only appear on seasons with the “Fans vs. Favorites” subtitle or not, Erik is a riot to me, in that yes, he makes dumb moves, but he’s just so charming in doing it that he’s a laugh riot.  Plus, you gotta love the guy who once said “That’s Jeff Probst!  He’s just standing there!”.  I do suspect he’s learned something from his previous experience, and it can only work to his advantage, in my opinion.  A problem for returning castaways is that their reputation precedes them, and is hard to throw away.  For Erik, being perceived as a moron can only help, as people will underestimate him, and thus take him farther than they should.  His being physically proficient will help as well, giving them more of a reason to keep him around.  I don’t think he can win, just due to perceptions about him (no one wants to award a million dollars to a perceived moron), but I’d look for him to stay until at least mid-merge, and am looking forward to every minute of it.

Corrine Kaplan (33, Clinical Consultant, Los Angeles, CA.  7^th place, “Survivor Gabon”): Bitch.  Sorry, I’m obligated to make that the first thing I say about Corrine, or else she’ll come to my apartment and kick my ass.  You see, like many female villains, Corrine RELISHES her title, and even prefers to be known by it.  This might come across as a minus, as no one wants to hang around with a self-described bitch, but it can also get one very far, as people want to take them to the end as jury cannon fodder.  What people seem to forget about Corrine, though, is that beneath the bitchiness there’s a more than decent strategist who could take you out very easily.  These factors combine to tell me that Corrine has a good long time ahead of her this season, possible even making the finals.  Again, I don’t think she can win because of her reputation, but she probably won’t leave until the late merge at the earliest.  I’ll admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of her in “Survivor Gabon”, but that was partly due to me liking a LOT of the players of “Survivor Gabon” (Ken Hoang being my favorite).  Still, I considered replacing her with Alicia Rosa (“Survivor One World”), but I ultimately decided that Corrine was a better representative of the “Holy Order of Sue Hawk-abies” anyway.

Brenda Lowe (34, Paddleboard Co. Owner, Miami, FL.  10^th place, “Survivor Nicaragua”): Ah, here we see something that is going to be very rare on this season: an actual strategist.  Yes, for all that people say that “Survivor Nicaragua” was the worst season of “Survivor”, I think they give it a hard time (though I still say it was a bad season), and if one person from it deserved to come back, it was Brenda.  She was running the game, until she got cocky.  Still, she made for a lot of interesting drama, and save for an unwillingness to scramble, she was pretty damn good at it too.  I think she’s learned now that scrambling is ok, and probably won’t make the same mistake twice.  Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s going to do her much good.  As I’ve made clear, reputation precedes returnees on seasons such as this, and can lead to an unfortunate expulsion of good players.  This is the case with Brenda, as while I think she’s fit enough to survive a little bit, I don’t think this cast will let a hardcore strategist stick around too long, lest they get a foothold, and in my opinion, Brenda will be ejected a vote or two before the merge.  Would I replace her?  Absolutely not!  Doesn’t change her chances in the game, though.

Francesca Hogi (38, Attorney, Brooklyn, NY.  20^th place, “Survivor Redemption Island): Oh boy, here we go.  Time to get the ranting over and done with.  Now, while this blog is hardly unbiased (my knee-jerk OPINION, after all), I do like to believe that am fair, at least to some degree.  I try to judge all seasons equally, regardless of outside factors, and strive to believe that any season, however bad, has at least one redeeming quality.  That being said, I have to ask, WHY IS ANYBODY BACK FROM “SURVIVOR REDEMPTION ISLAND”?  My God, this is easily one of the worst seasons of all time, and DEFINITELY the worst out of all the post-“Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” seasons.  Yes people, in my opinion “Survivor Nicaragua” and “Survivor One World” were BOTH better than this stinker.  Now, the problem is not that “Survivor Redemption Island” gave us no memorable characters, far from it.  The problem is that “Survivor Redemption Island” ONLY gave us “Boston Rob” Mariano (“Survivor Marquesas”), whom I’ve seen enough of to last us a dozen lifetimes.  The cast, other than Boston Rob, was lackluster, to put it mildly.  They exhibited no strategy, and simply rolled over to LET Boston Rob walk to the million.  Now, you could argue that “Survivor One World” had the exact same problem, to which I reply that while this is true, and “Survivor One World” is in my opinion the second worst of the previous 5 season, it at least showcased the strategic prowess of someone new, as opposed to someone we’ve seen THREE TIMES BEFORE!  Seriously, I hate myself for saying it, but NO ONE should ever come back from “Survivor Redemption Island”.

Oh, right, I suppose I have to talk about Francesca now, don’t I?  Well, this is going to sound hypocritical because of a post I made during “Survivor One World”, but I don’t like that Francesca’s back.  Don’t get me wrong, I like her a lot, and I think she has untapped potential (at least physically), but I don’t think she has business being on this particular season.  The problem is that, like it or not, experience helps, and Francesca is the ONLY castaway here who was booted so early.  It puts her at a distinct disadvantage, just because the other players have more experience with the game.  I want her brought back, yes, but on a season filled with OTHER first boots, not a season filled with experienced players!  It just doesn’t seem fair to me, and I think it’s going to lead to an early boot for poor Francesca.  Not the first boot this time, but certainly well before the merge, and all due to lack of experience.  So, who would I put in to level the playing field?

Lydia Morales (“Survivor Guatemala”) I’ve said before and I’ll say again that “Survivor Guatemala” gets a lot of undue hate from the fanbase.  Like Francesca, Lydia is an underappreciated castaway, whose value to the tribe is unknown (let’s face it, Francesca is really an unknown quantity in this game).  Unlike Francesca, however, Lydia is entertaining and experienced, making for a fairer game, as well as representing an underrepresented season.

Andrea Boehlke (23, Entertainment Host and Writer, New York, NY.  5^th place, “Survivor Redemption Island”) Well, add another one to the group of “People Whose Last Names I Will Have Trouble Spelling”.  While I admit that Andrea is the one I hate the least out of the “Survivor Redemption Island” group, that’s really not saying much.  She did TALK about going against Boston Rob, but she never pulled the trigger.  That, I think, will be her downfall, because I don’t think she knows when and how to make big moves, and for all her talk, is just a follower.  Also, she’s not that strong, and I predict she’ll be gone very early on.  One other problem I have with her is that she’s not really a good castaway in terms of entertainment.  Put it this way: I consider myself pretty god at remembering castaways names and events.  Even dear Francesca, who was a first boot, I remembered.  When I first heard that Andrea was one of the “Favorites”, my thought was “Who?”  That’s a very bad sign if even I can’t remember you, and as such I think she should be replaced with…

Kim Spradlin (“Survivor One World”) Aside from being one of the few representatives of “Survivor One World” that would not trigger the gag reflexes of “Survivor” fans, Kim is exactly what they’re looking for in Andrea, I think: A hot, smart strategist.  The difference here is that Kim actually has credible proof that she is these things, is somewhat entertaining, and I ACTUALLY REMEMBER WHO SHE IS!  People might argue that “Fans vs. Favorites” seasons have a tradition of not bringing back winners, but I would point out that both Tom Westman (“Survivor Palau”), and Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) were invited back to the original “Fans vs. Favorites”, and so that argument is invalid.

Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard (54, Chief Executive Officer of Enter Software Sales, Santa Monica, CA.  Runner-Up, “Survivor Redemption Island”): Alright, I’m going to try to be fair to “Survivor Redemption Island”, and admit that yes, maybe, Francesca and Andrea deserve to come back.  I cannot, however, extend the same doubt to the one who is, by far, the most ANNOYING castaway I’ve ever seen.  Who in their right mind would want Phillip back?  I said “right mind”, Probst doesn’t count.  I like Probst as much as the next guy, but a lot of the decisions he makes are just awful, and his opinion on Phillip is just astoundingly bad.  The man isn’t funny, isn’t strategic, isn’t endearing, in short, Phillip Sheppard is not entertaining in any way!  There are only TWO good things about his presence here.  One is that they at least brought Francesca back, as the ONLY thing Phillip did in his ENTIRE time on the island, that was MILDLY entertaining was his physical inability to correctly pronounce “Francesca”.  The other is that we will, at least, get the pleasure of seeing Phillip get voted off first.  There is NO WAY anyone other than Phillip is going first.  I just can’t see this group putting up with him for any prolonged period of time.  Phillip will go first and it will be sweet.  Some would argue that his physical fitness, and his being jury cannon fodder might keep him around, but I would argue that there are others on the “Favorites” tribe who fill that role, and guess what?  THEY DON”T CAUSE PEOPLE TO WANT TO RIP THEIR EARS OFF SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO LISTED TO MORE OF “GREAT-GRANDPA JESSUM” (by the way, Phillip STILL has that damn feather, God help us…).  Also, Phillip is not a good person to keep in your alliance.  If you didn’t notice, he’s not good at keeping secrets, so yeah, Phillip will go first, and it will be sweet.  However, I think my replacement for him might not go first.

Judd Sergeant (“Survivor Guatemala”) So, you want someone on the island who is abrasive and loud.  Fine, you can have someone on the island who is abrasive and loud.  Just make it Judd, who at least balanced things with a little strategy and humor, and not PURE, UNADULTERATED INSANITY!

Dawn Meehan (42, English Professor, South Jordan, UT.  9^th place, “Survivor South Pacific”): There is probably no one in this cast who is, to me, the perfect antithesis to Phillip than Dawn, because I’m ECSTATIC that she’s back!  I mention during my blog of “Survivor Philippines” that Dawn is the namer of “Dawn Meehan Syndrome”, in which a decent strategic player is physically marred from doing any good game play by their emotions.  Well, as we saw in “Survivor Philippines”, a cure has been found, and I’d bet anything that Dawn has taken a bit dose of it.  While most of the women on this season leave me cold, I really like Dawn. She’s smart, she’s charming, and now that she’s got her emotions in check, and knows what she’s in for, I’d say she’s a force to be reckoned with this season.  In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that she’s my female pick to win it all.  I think she’ll come in underestimated, and then school all the other, less strategic players.  Would I change her out?  Absolutely not! I liked her on “Survivor South Pacific”, and I just adore her now!

John Cochran (25, Harvard Law Student, Washington, D.C.  7^th place, “Survivor South Pacific”): Wow, a lot of people from D.C. on this season.  Well, Cochran was my personal favorite on “Survivor South Pacific”, and he remains my personal favorite on this season.  Not to say I think he’ll win, but I like him and root for him.  Now that I think he knows what he’s in for, he’ll do much better, and make a few more moves than in last game, because I will admit, I thought he’d be more of a Rob Cesternino (“Survivor The Amazon”) at first glance back in “Survivor South Pacific”, and yet he still, I think, is decent strategically.  Sure, hindsight is 20/20, and obviously his flip availed him nothing, but I maintain, to this day, that it was a smart move at the time.  It seems, according to the internet, that I am in a minority on this, however, as most people (those who post comments on forums, anyway) seem to dislike Cochran.  I, however, believe these people are ignoring a few key facts, and it is in this mind (and due to my frustration over said comments) that I now present:

A REBUTTAL TO THE CRITICISMS OF JOHN COCHRAN!

To sum up the criticisms of Cochran in one sentence, people get the idea that he is a “Wimpy fame-whore who thinks he’s smart, but is really a strategic dunce.”  Starting with the “wimpy” claim; this can be taken two ways.  The first is “wimpy” as in “bad in physical challenges”.  Now, I do not deny that Cochran is bad at physical challenges.  Cochran himself does not deny that he is bad at physical challenges.  This does NOT make him a bad character.  This may make him a character that you dislike, which I am willing to respect. Different strokes for different folks, and while I prefer strategists, there may be some who prefer physical threats.  However, your preference does not make him an inherently bad character who should never be brought back, therefore comments degrading Cochran in this vein are unjustified.  The other definition of “wimpy” is “coward who avoided the purple rock”, in the vein of Jim Rice (also “Survivor South Pacific”).  This goes along with the implied criticism of the rest of my summary sentence: that Cochran’s move was terrible, and he did it for screen time.  Here, I must disrespectfully disagree.  Again, while I do not deny that in hindsight Cochran’s move availed him nothing, I believe it was the best move he could have made at the time.  You see, people who believe his move was motivated by fame forget that his tribe had SAID HE SHOULD HAVE GONE THE DAY BEFORE THE MERGE!  CAN YOU REALLY TRUST ALLIES LIKE THAT?  “But he lost them the challenge!” you say.  Well yes, yes he did, but your allies should stick with you, challenge or no challenge.  “But that was all pre-merge!” you say.  If you go back and watch the episode where Cochran flips, you’ll notice Jim, as supposed ALLY of Cochran mind you, interrogating everyone before tribal council that they’re not going to flip against Savaii.  He asks everyone for an assurance once… EXCEPT FOR COCHRAN, WHOM HE ASKS REPEATEDLY! Given this treatment, it’s no wonder Cochran flipped.  The point I’m getting at here is that, post-merge, loyalty in allies is everything, and based upon the evidence, Savaii wouldn’t have taken Cochran anywhere NEAR the finals.  He was quite clearly at the bottom of the pecking order.  So, Cochran’s choices were go with Upolu, where it was PROBABLE that he wouldn’t be taken to the end, or stick with Savaii, where it was ALMOST A GUARANTEE that he wouldn’t be taken to the end.  It had nothing to do with cowardice, it was the best move Cochran could have made at the time.  Also, as a final rebuttal to the “fame-whore” accusation, well of COURSE he’s a fame-whore.  By going on this show, and thereby putting yourself on TV, EVERY CASTAWAY is a fame-whore.  You don’t go on this show if you’re not a fame-whore.  Quit chastising Cochran when all the others are just as bad.

Well, for all my ranting defense of him, and my liking of him, I don’t think Cochran stands much of a chance this season.  Though his gameplay may have improved (even I will consent that he’s not a strategic genius), as I’ve said many times before, reputation precedes you in seasons such as these, and Cochran’s reputation, deserved or not, is a bad one.  As such, unless Dawn takes him under her wing out of old season loyalty, I wouldn’t expect him to last long, for fear that he would flip.  I wouldn’t replace him, by any means, but he’s still gone before the merge, if I’m correct.

Brandon Hantz (21, Chemical Disposal, Katy, TX.  5^th place, “Survivor South Pacific”): You know, I liked “Survivor South Pacific” as a whole.  It wasn’t a GREAT season, but it was pretty decent, and you got a lot of interesting, enjoyable characters out of it.  Brandon Hantz was not one of those characters.  While I’ve come to like him better after the show(I feel he’s put-upon by his family, and is finally getting his head screwed on straight), I don’t think he’s changed his religious zealotry (the thing that made him unbearable in my eyes), whatever he says.  I found him annoying, unpleasant, and unnecessary to the season, though at least they’ve taken away the annoying detail of listing his occupation as “Russell Hantz’ Nephew”.  Unlike Phillip, who you may have guessed I also found to be annoying, I unfortunately think Brandon will stick around for a while.  The trouble is, Brandon is loyal to a fault, and as I mentioned in my Cochran rant, loyalty is very valuable on “Survivor”.  As such, I’m sure someone will keep him around for a good long while, probably getting rid of him mid to late merge.  I’d like to get rid of him sooner, however, and replace him with…

Shane Powers (“Survivor Exile Island”): You want skinny, loyal, and neurotic?  Here, take skinny and neurotic (the “loyal” thing is debatable on Shane’s part, although to be fair he was one of the most gung-ho about holding the Casaya alliance together).  Aside from the fact that they’ve been trying to bring Shane back for several seasons, Shane was actually entertaining, and could come up with a strategic gem every now and again.  That, in my book, makes him infinitely preferable to Brandon Hantz.

Malcolm Freeberg (25, Bartender, Hermosa Beach, CA.  4^th place, “Survivor Philippines”): While I have to admit that I’m surprised that more people aren’t back from “Survivor Philippines” given how good it was, I do think Malcolm’s a good choice. He was good physically, strategically, and he was pretty humorous to boot.  Furthermore, unlike the rest of the returnees, he has no reputation (given that this season and “Survivor Philippines” were shot back-to-back), which makes him better able to blend into the shadows of the cast, and work his magic without suspicion.  The only reason I make Malcolm isn’t my male pick to win it all is that after Russell Hantz’ performance on ”Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, I don’t think people are going to let an unknown quantity hang around for too much longer post merge.  Even so, due to his physicality, I’d be surprised if he doesn’t at least make the merge.  He’ll go pretty early once that phase hits, but I doubt he’s much of a target before then.  I wouldn’t trade him for anyone.  No way.

Well, so that’s my thoughts on the cast, but the season itself has been, if anything, more controversial  The problem a lot of people have is how they’re so blatantly recycling a previous, good twist in an attempt to get ratings.  I have to admit, while I’m not as adamant in my dislike of the twist, and will still watch the show, I do dislike just how much of a carbon copy of “Survivor Micronesia” this is.  They’ve even got the same colors, with the “Fans” still in orange and the “Favorites” still in purple.  Bet you anything the merge is green.  This unfortunately makes the season seem like it will be predictable, playing out the same way as “Survivor Micronesia” which does not make for an interesting watch.  Another complaint people have is that these are not really “Favorites” so much as people Probst likes.  While I think people are overreacting again, I do not deny that, which the exceptions of Erik and Malcolm, none of these people can really be called “Favorites”, I think in part due to the fact that returning castaways make it hard for new people to shine, as they get all the screentime.  My point is that these people may be good “Favorites” material, but we couldn’t really see it on their original seasons.

Unlike “Survivor Philippines”, where the women were really good and the men lackluster, by and large, this season we have the opposite, with a lot of really good men and lackluster women, particularly on the “Favorites” side (Francesca, Andrea?  Really?)  Probst chalks this up to “Survivor” just having more interesting men than women, others say the producers are sexist.  I fall somewhere in the middle, in that while I do think “Survivor” underutilizes some great women, it does seem to me that men more often have the qualities that make a good “Survivor” contestant, just genetically, due to men having more aggressive Type-A personalities.

One other small issue I have with the season is that “Survivor Micronesia” was so good.  I mean, I can see why producers want to recapture the magic.  After all, “Survivor Micronesia” remains my favorite season.  However, that’s just it: this new season has to live up to “Survivor Micronesia”, and however good Probst says it is, I don’t think it can be done.

However, I’d like to put in a positive note, and that’s to point out the one GOOD thing about this season: It has a different feel than “Survivor Micronesia”.  Going back to the complaint about this season’s cast not being “Favorites”, it’s true that the returnees of “Survivor Micronesia” were either famous or infamous, and almost all were known for good gameplay.  This season, however, is different.  These are the also-rans, the people who might have been good, but whether by luck or a simple mistake ended up losing.  These people have something to prove.  These are the All-Stars that could have been, the ones who have something to prove, the underdogs, and I just love the underdogs.  It does make the title of “Fans vs. Favorites” a bit misleading, though.  Perhaps a better title would have been “Survivor Caramoan: New Day”.  Hey, it wouldn’t be a more stupid title than “Survivor One World”.  A nice irony also is that, with a few exceptions, all the “Favorites” are actually superfans, and would be just as appropriate on the “Fans” side.

Well, while I don’t have too much confidence, I’ve been wrong before.  We’ll see how this season shapes up.  I’ll end this blog the way I ended the last one: It can’t be a TRUE “Fans vs. Favorites” season, because I’m not there on the “Fans” side.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.