Idol Speculation: “Survivor 46” Finale: Got Me Saying It

You all know I like my running gags around here.  I mean, there’s a reason the “Matthew Grinstead-Mayle Injury Rock (TM)” kept getting mentioned several episodes after it had any relevance this season.  And one of my other ones has been at the expense of Ben, or at least his catchphrase.  This is partly in fun, partly out of how basic it is, and partly out of me just not connecting with Ben (nothing against the guy; we just have little in common).  And yet, for all that I mock, I must now eat my words, as there is simply no other way to say it:

This season rocks.  

To find out exactly why, we go back to the beginning, with everyone getting back to camp.  And I do mean, CAMP.  Yes, for the first time in the new era, we’re NOT stuck going to some new beach for the final five for some reason!  I assumed they just neglected to mention it since we’d assume it was coming last episode, but nope!  They’re just doing away with it entirely.  Hope that stays.  It was a pointless, annoying twist that just ate up time.  

Instead, we focus on more important things, like how exactly Maria plans to save her skin after being blindsided.  The answer, it seems, is running back to Charlie tail between her proverbial legs.  She’s clearly emotional about the whole thing, and in confessional admits that being in this position really hurts and frustrates her (rather defeatist, if I’m being honest.  Not a good look on her), but does her level best to try and claw something back.  She spins a tale to Charlie about Liz and Kenzie insisting that it would be him, only to blindside her.  A lie Charlie sees right through, but at least his “Keep my options open” strategy is bearing fruit.  For his part, Charlie admits to feeling a mite betrayed by the whole thing, but also acknowledges that he can’t really complain when he’d have done the same to her were she not immune.  All in all, Maria is still on extremely thin ice, but she’s doing what she can to give herself a proverbial lifeline.  

But this has not been a season solely focussed on strategy.  No, more so than any season in the new era, this one is about the DRAMA!  Naturally, the eviction of one such as Q cannot be left alone, and we get our gloating in the form of Liz, happy that her game has taken off.  Really gives me “Survivor Vanuatu” vibes.  The person you voted off it may not have been smart to do, but MAN are you happy about it and going to tell the world about it.  This is the modern version of Scout’s “No Eliza Noises” confessional, basically.  

Morning comes, and we get another nice surprise: NO stupid challenge advantage scavenger hunt!  No, we instead just get a reaffirmation of the need to beat Maria today, and we head off to our challenge.  Simple, effective, nothing in excess.  Maybe the show is learning after all.  

Our challenge… Well I would call it another standard obstacle course, but this one has a few fun beats that, if not original, at least help it stand out.  In particular, an early mud net crawl (for which Liz has to take off her glasses, only to put them on.  Personally I’d leave my glasses off for the entirety of the challenge, if possible), using a rope ball on a string to pull down a bridge, and a puzzle giving clues of what to count for a combination lock.  Fun elements that you don’t see in your standard obstacle course, and so I’ll give this one a pass.  

Maria and Charlie are initially the frontrunners on this challenge, though Kenzie manages to get even with them on the puzzle.  That’s where things get funky.  As mentioned, the puzzle, when solved, reveals a clue of things to count to open a combination lock.  One of these things are the number of holes in a plank that was used RIGHT after the mud crawl on the challenge, basically necessitating a re-running of the obstacle course for our contestants.  Sadistic, but this portion actually ends up being a bit broken.  You see, Liz and Ben are both pretty much out of it.  Liz, however, realizing that she’s unlikely to win, sets out to help Kenzie.  She goes to retrieve Kenzie’s plank, thereby leaving Kenzie free to count the two other things, which are readily available to her.  Maria, conversely, has to run the whole thing once she solves the puzzle, costing her valuable time.  Kenzie does make a mistake in her own counting, but still manages to pull out a win.  

This may come as a surprise to some, since I panned Sophie suggesting that Albert do exactly this back in the infancy days of my blog, aka “Survivor South Pacific”, but I actually like this move for Liz.  The difference here is that in the challenge with Sophie and Albert, there was the possibility, however remote, that Ozzy could mess up, thereby opening the door for everyone else.  In an individual game, Albert has no need to help Sophie.  Yes, the want to beat Ozzy, but he could possibly fail on his own in that scenario.  This is a “First past the post” race, with no real way to fall behind (save for Liz herself forgetting her key at one point, which was a good laugh), so helping someone else gain ground is much smarter.  Moreover, by winning immunity, Kenzie can come across as being the person to “vanquish” the main threat of the season, that being Maria.  By helping her, you steal some of that credit for yourself.  If Liz had a real chance to win that challenge, I’d be more critical, but if you can’t win, then at least influence the outcome.  Besides, Adam Klein did this on “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”, and it helped him win the whole game.  Hmm, I wonder if that particular challenge will be relevant later this episode…

In addition to Immunity, Kenzie also gets to take one person to “The Sanctuary” for a meal, since  Probst just needs to annoy me with that slogan ONE MORE TIME!  Kenzie chooses Ben, which is the logical choice.  Apart from the pair being close, Kenzie probably wants to solidify strategy talk with him.  They do so on the reward, with Ben talking about how nice it is to have a true friend out here, not just someone to talk game with.  Solidifying once and for all that Ben is a genuine, nice guy without a strategic bone in his body.  

Thankfully we have some real strategy talk back at camp.  Were I in Maria’s position, I would be gunning hard for Charlie.  He’s proved willing to vote against your own interests, and is easier to talk up as a threat than basically anyone else left.  I am NOT Maria, however, as evidenced by the fact that she tries to target BEN instead.  Look, I get not wanting to burn your bridge with Charlie, but for Maria at this point, the philosophy should be “Anyone but me.” And again, Charlie is the easiest to target.  Hell, even if you DO want to work with him, there’s not reason to include him on your idol hunt!  You really think he’s going to let you know if he finds it?  Get real.  

To Maria’s credit, however, I will say she is an excellent salesperson.  As mentioned, she targets Ben, spinning a lie about how Ben’s Kenzie vote WASN’T a mistake, but a game move, and he can pull this sort of stunt with a bunch of things at the end.  Her tone and word choice almost make it believable, until you hear Ben say “That rocks” for the umpteenth time.  More compelling, and more realistic, is her point that Ben has many friends on the jury, and is well-liked.  For some juries, that’s all it takes.  It’s enough to get Liz and Charlie thinking, and is decent enough misdirection, but I’m not buying it.  Maria’s target is just too big.  You do not help someone else win a challenge just to keep the person you were trying to beat around.  

Evidently the editing team feels the same way, as any chance of misdirection goes out the window at Tribal Council, with Kenzie even flat-out admitting she’s voting Maria.  Thus, this Tribal turns into Maria’s farewell tour, which is definitely earned, but not that compelling.  Her talk of growing up with Lebanese immigrant parents is nice enough, but it doesn’t leave as much of an impact as it perhaps might have had at other times.  

So confident is the show that we don’t buy its own misdirection that they show all the votes.  A rare misstep in editing for this episode.  I’ll talk about it more throughout the blog, but the editing on this episode in particular had a lot of little funny moments I really enjoyed, and ranged from highly competent to masterful in most dramatic moments.  Here, however?  I get that the misdirection was weak, but if you’re going to drop it halfway through, why have it at all?  Just let this be one big swan song for Maria.  I will say, however, that I did enjoy Kenzie’s voting confession.  Her saying she “Wants to be [Maria] when [she] grows up”, coming from a woman who was 29 at the time of filming, is hilarious.  

I presume the Shot in the Dark has expired by now (I care about it so little, I honestly can’t remember), since Maria does not play it, and unsurprisingly goes.  I am sorry to see her go.  Maria is the most competent strategist I’d have been ok with winning this season (I’ll get more into that at the end), since she did make some mistakes, and as demonstrated this episode, could get a bit emotional.  It would have been a fitting win for the season, and we’re also badly in need of an older female winner by now.  You shall be missed, Maria.  

Also, while this in no way impacted boot order that we can tell, it IS a bit depressing that we’ve got four white people at the end, Maria being the last person of color left.  That said, clearly the diversity initiative is still doing its job properly, since this is the first season in the new era while the final three won’t contain at least one person of color.  This was just kind of a fluke in how this particular game played out, not any sort of commentary on how these players perceive that aspect.  

We should be preparing for our final Immunity Challenge, but before we can get to that, we need to add something ELSE to Liz’s ongoing list of ailments!  On top of all the allergies, she tells us she has weak joints that frequently don’t work properly.  Again I ask: And you came on “Survivor” WHY?  Liz is going to be sorry about that as well, given what our final challenge is that…

YOU’RE GOING TO PLAY “PLINKO” FOR UP TO $50,000!

Ok, ok, it’s not that, but given that CBS owns both franchises, it would have been funny if Probst had said that.  No, our players just have to assemble a puzzle of the logo of the season.  Simple, right?  Well, before they can begin, they have to toss a ball to the top of basically a giant pegboard, and catch it before it hits a metal ramp as it comes down.  Fail, and they can’t keep working on their puzzle until the ball goes ALL the way down the ramp, in an agonizing slow fashion.  This must be done continuously throughout the challenge.  

Plinko aside, there are probably two challenges that come to mind when you hear this description.  An immunity challenge from “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X” is the more 1-1 comparison, particularly as I alluded to earlier.  That was a scaled-down version of this very challenge, memorable since that was when Adam stopped his own challenge to help Ken win, in order to get out a preferred target.  The giant pegboard itself, however?  Well, sad to say that’s now a DEEP cut in “Survivor” history, but for those of you who remember “Survivor Nicaragua” (and frankly I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to remember that season), pegboards of this size were used in a tribal immunity challenge.  Did not expect a Nicaragua throwback here, but I’m cool with it.  

Slow and steady really does win the race here.  Charlie and Liz both cut it too close, and drop their ball.  This is one of the funny editing bits, where we cut from the dramatic music of the challenge for everyone else, to “Dodo Music” as Charlie can only sit there and watch his ball.  Kenzie is better at catching her ball, but occasionally has trouble hurling it all the way up to the top of the pegboard (a problem Liz also shares).  Then there’s the time she hurls it TOO hard, and it flies off so she has to retrieve it.  In the end it’s Ben, the one guy to never make such a mistake, who takes the victory.  Quite impressive for the guy who said he was “Operating on two hours of sleep” pre-challenge.  He tries to make an emotional moment out of it, talking about how he was doubted by his peers in his young life, and it honestly feels forced.  I appreciate his struggle, but this late in the game, we don’t need a moment like this.  It isn’t QUITE as melodramatic as Xander’s flashback on “Survivor 41”, but it feels like it’s in the same ballpark.  

This, of course, means the non-strategic Ben must now make a strategic decision.  I’d say every possibility is on the table, given that I think Ben is someone dumb enough to put himself in fire.  After talking about how winning immunity “rocks” (of course), we get another good editing bit.  Charlie rises up in the background over Ben’s shoulder, and the music switches to somber really naturally.  Ben talks about how hard it is to send one of Kenzie or Charlie to the end, given his early bond with Charlie and how nice Kenzie’s been to him this game.  For all my snark, that emotion does hit home really well.  

Less emotional is his decision with Liz!  He flat out tells Liz she’s going in because her game is too strong, showing exactly how in-tune Ben is with the strategy this season.  Liz breaks down, complaining about how everyone is seeing her game, which I only bring up because earlier this season, she was complaining about how no one was seeing her game.  There’s just no satisfying some people.  Liz does quickly buck up and go off to practice fire, however.  She does poorly, but Kenzie and Charlie don’t seem to be doing that much better.  Ben leaves it up in the air which of them he’s going to put in fire to take down Liz, though my money’s on Kenzie, since she seemed more willing to go as a resume building opportunity than Charlie is.  

Of course, ideally Ben should put Charlie in fire, and then whoever he thinks can beat Charlie, in an effort to get out what could be perceived as his biggest threat at the end, but we all know Ben doesn’t think like that.  Instead, at Tribal Council, he picks Kenzie and Liz to go in.  The fire-making itself is pretty standard, but Probst makes it worse by inserting himself into the narrative.  He mentions how the show did not provide test kits this season.  He notes that Kenzie’s issues are due to pressure.  He describes the fire triangle to the players.  Look, Probst, I enjoy your commentary more than most, but this is REALLY unnecessary.  Also yes, we get it, you were in Scouts as a kid, you don’t need to emphasize that.  

Unsurprisingly, given her various ailments, Liz looses to Kenzie, something the jury is very obvious about preferring.  Proving once and for all that Liz has absolutely zero self-knowledge, she talks about how she played the best game of anyone left, and was 100% going to win at the end, even continuing the rant into her final words.  In case it wasn’t clear, I’m not sorry to see Liz go.  With Ben at the end as well, the outcome would have been obvious, in that whoever wasn’t Liz or Ben was going to win. Now, with both Charlie and Kenzie there, there is some mystery.  Don’t misunderstand, Liz was an INCREDIBLY fun character.  She could just be a little much at times.  

Our Day 26 breakfast is interspersed both with the players practicing their opening speeches (pretty cool to see them not be 100% confident), and our jurors trying to misdirect us on who they’ll vote for.  Honestly, the juror’s answers here are mostly generic stuff that tells us very little.  Like with “Survivor 45”, some of it seems legit (Tiffany favoring Kenzie, for example), while some of it is clearly them trying to follow production’s instruction to create doubt they might vote for someone they have no intention of voting for (Q implying that Ben has a shot, for example).  Nothing offensive, but not worth deep commentary on, especially when we have a good Final Tribal Council to get to.  

Ben starts off our opening speeches, and we quickly see just how out of the running he is.  He talks about how he didn’t play strategically and was out of the loop, TRYING to tie it back into his social game.  Kenzie does a much better job, highlighting her bonds with everyone while also noting that she was willing to make moves as needed.  Charlie lands in the middle, focussing more on the strategy side of things, but not selling the emotion.  Fair enough, though I’m surprised Charlie didn’t bring up his “Always have options” philosophy, since I’d argue it’s one of the stronger points of his gameplay this season.  

Then we come to the jury, and this is normally where I’d complain about the new jury format.  Not so this time because, well, the new jury format kind of died out this season.  Yeah, Probst introduces the jury to start things off, but then only really speaks to them in order to ask who wants to speak next.  Acting as a moderator, not interjecting his own philosophy into the game, which was my main critique of that format.  The other issue I had was that a lack of individual questions made the jury itself kind of mush together, but again, not so this season.  With the exception of Liz (and I might just have missed hers) everyone DID ask one question.  Really the only difference between this and the original jury format is that people don’t stand up to ask their question, and can interject on other’s questions.  Granted I still prefer the original jury format, rather than the fact-checking we have here, but if this was to be the compromise between jury formats, I’m 100% ok with it.  

All that said, while I enjoyed this jury, people talking during other’s questions did make some of them blend together, so I’m going to be hitting the jury highlights and lowlights rather than giving a blow-by-blow of each question.  First off, major props to Tiffany for starting us off, and cutting off ANY Taylor Swift references before they start, as well as the phrase” That rocks/does not rock”.  Nice to see the jury knows how to get on my good side, at least.  

We also learn that even being on the jury cannot stop Q (who I must point out is STILL wearing the “Q-Skirt”) from trying to rewrite reality.  Asked to name a move they themselves made in the game, Ben falters by, well, not having a move.  Kenzie tries to argue that she successfully navigated the split vote after the merge, citing Q and Tiffany’s competing interests as something difficult to navigate.  This, of course, leads Q to deny ever doing this (objectively false), and starts another min-riot before Tiffany gets it back under control.  Not to say Charlie fares much better.  In fact, you could argue he did more for Kenzie than she did for herself!  Charlie tries to claim credit for the Hunter vote.  Reasonable enough, but unfortunately, Hunter is on the jury, and confirms that it was Kenzie that made him feel comfortable, thereby giving her credit for his ouster.  

Tevin asks how everyone used someone else on the jury to further their game.  Kenzie names Q once again, while Charlie gives a masterful answer in saying he used Tevin himself, noting the rift between him and Soda made him a good shield.  Normally a solid answer, but it looks like Tevin’s not buying it.  Still better than Ben who, again, doesn’t really have any sort of good answer.  The question he does best on is Q’s, who wants to know how the million dollars will change their lives.  Ben notes all the communities he’d like to help in South Florida, a nice sentiment that comes across as genuine from him.  Kenzie notes that she’ll be using the money for herself, giving her security as a small business owner.  Charlie’s is the weakest, giving some blather about “family”.  Not terrible, but Ben and Kenzie are hard acts to follow on this question.  For the final highlight, Soda asks everyone to summarize their game in 30 seconds or less, something only Kenzie is able to do successfully.  Charlie starts making some good points, but comes in a bit over the 30 second mark, preventing him from tying everything together.  And Ben’s still warming up when his 30 seconds are up.  

We do hear closing arguments from everyone this time, and it’s here where Charlie finally bring up his “Keep options open” argument I think he should have emphasized more.  And, right at the end, Ben breaks Tiffany’s “rocks” moratorium.  A funny note to cap the season on.  

Charlie’s argument was good, but it was too little, too late.  Like “Survivor 45” it was a close 5-3 vote, but once again, the woman pulls it out.  Kenzie is our victor, and I personally am THRILLED!  All due respect to Charlie, he played a good game, and arguably was more in the strategic driver’s seat than Kenzie.  He may have been perceived as Maria’s lapdog, but at lest he was making decisions.  Very few of Kenzie’s plans got carried out, and if they were, it was sometimes without her knowledge, like the Tiffany blindside.  But that said, he almost played TOO good of a game.  I’ve compared this to “Survivor Gabon” a number of times, and I stand by that comparison.  Charlie played a neat, normal game, which would contrast horribly with the overall chaotic season this ended up being.  It would be like if Charlie Herschel had won “Survivor Gabon”.  You could understand why and respect the win, but on a season like that, it wouldn’t be satisfying.  

Not to say that Kenzie was un-strategic, far from it.  She made excellent use of her relationships in the game, and schemed enough that, even if she didn’t succeed, she was perceived as a player worthy of respect.  Bhanu building her up on his journey probably helped.  As to how she fits the chaos of the season?  Well, while she usually played with her head, she could be petty and vindictive when slighted (see how she treated Q after he turned on her).  Granted, she kept that mostly in confessional, but that’s to her credit as a player.  And hey, the player dubbed “Mermaid-Dragon” is a fitting type of person to win an out-there season like this.  

All that said, I actually want to make a different comparison.  The season as a whole may be the New Era “Survivor Gabon”, but this Final Tribal, to me, is “Survivor Kaoh Rong” done right.  The final three was effectively a duel between our more strategic player who as the narrator of the season (Aubry/Charlie) versus the person who may not have had as much control, but had a simple narrative the jury could believe, and was well-connected with them socially (Michele/Kenzie).  And once again, the social player wins, re-emphasizing the social game as being paramount on this show.  Where I think this season succeeds, where Kaoh Rong fails, is that it does a better job balancing these two finalists.  Unlike Aubry, Charlie isn’t seen as the MAIN strategic driving force of the season, merely a very good player who happened to control votes near the end, so his game doesn’t come across quite as unbeatable.  Conversely, we got more emphasis on Kenzie’s relationships, making her seem more of an equal in that regard than Michele seemed to Aubry.  Granted, we probably didn’t need MULTIPLE scenes of Kenzie comforting Ben following his night terrors, but the point still stands.  Plus, this season didn’t hide key relationships Kenzie made that impacted the end of the season.  Contrast with Michele, where you’d be forgiven for thinking she and Cydney didn’t speak until the merge, despite that ACTUALLY being the driving force later on, rather than the Cydney/Aubry relationship.  

So yes, this season does a lot of good, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  The same cannot be said for the after show, which is easily one of, if not the, worst of the New Era.  With the possible exception of Mike Turner (“Survivor 42”) no contestant has ever looked more defeated at the end than Charlie, a fact Probst notes, and talks about how rough it must be.  If you know it’s going to be hard on him, Probst, THEN WHY DON’T YOU GIVE THEM SOME TIME TO PROCESS BEFORE JUMPING STRAIGHT INTO A REUNION?!  LET THEM GRIEVE, FOR CORN’S SAKE!  

Apart from that gripe, most of the rest of the after show is fine, though a bit rushed.  We hit most of the points you’d expect.  Who voted for who, everyone going out with idols in their pockets, that sort of thing.  The one good bit I’d say was in there was Probst talking about how several terms have entered the “Survivor” lexicon from this season alone, leading to montage of key quotes past.  And there’s some deep cuts, like Sandra’s “I can get loud too!” from “Survivor Pearl Islands”, and Sue’s “Rats and Snakes” speech all the way back from “Survivor Borneo”.  Famous, to be sure, but that was over 20 years ago now.  I’m impressed the show was willing to make that callback.  About the only major ommission is “She died, dude.” from the Dead Grandma Lie, in my view.

And make no mistake, there are several things from this season that will already be sticking around for years to come in this community.  “Several”.  “BIG MISTAKE”. “Christmas is Cancelled”.  To a lesser extent, even “Q-Skirt”, “That does/does not rock”, and a reinvigoration of Applebee’s memes.  And that’s really the thing about this season: In an era known for everything blending together due to a similar format, this season stands out.  Lots of contestants who weren’t self-aware.  Things getting really personal without turning full-on ugly.  Random, crazy tangents.  You can’t mistake this for any other season, and that’s why it’s one of the greats.  Low end of greats for me (again, just below “Survivor Gabon”) due to it not going quite as far as it could, but still a really fun ride.  Yes, it cannot be denied that this season had an INCREDIBLY slow start, but given what came more towards the end, I’d say it was worth it.  

Will “Survivor 47” be the same level of fun?  Eh, I hope so, but it’s kind of hard to tell.  The cast didn’t seem bad from what we saw, just kind of generic.  Though I will admit a fondness for the guy who said his only camping experience was once in Cub Scouts, which he left early due to throwing up.  I sympathize.  

Well, with discussion of the season out of the way, let’s look back at my pre-season predictions, and see where I went right and I went wrong.  

Jem-Wrong.  Did not see her overplaying that much at all.  

Ben-Wrong.  Much more sociable, and much more longer-lived than I would have anticipated.  

Jess-She was a little more socially awkward than I predicted, but I did say she’d be out pre-merge for costing a challenge, so I’ll give myself this one.  

Bhanu-Not exactly the first out, and a messier player than I’d have guessed.  Still, I’d say I was at least somewhat close here.  Not a full on “right”, but closer to right than wrong.  

Kenzie-I’ll give myself Kenzie.  I said she was close to being a winner pick and, well, she won.  

Charlie-Wrong.  Much less nerdy and much more longer-lived than I guessed.  

Liz-Wrong.  Somehow even bigger of a personality than I anticipated, yet also much longer lived.  Blame Hunter.  

Jelinsky-Wrong, but in all fairness, who could predict Jelinsky?  

Maria-Spot on, for once.  Nailed her placement, and the reason why she’d go.  

Hunter-Wrong.  His physical game was much better than it looked, and the rest of his game, much worse.  

Moriah-She left a bit earlier than I anticipated, but I think I got her personality pretty well.  

Q-Wrong, but again, like with Jelinsky, who could have predicted anything about this guy?  Attempting to do so is a fool’s errand.  

Soda-Wrong.  I was somewhat close on her time in the game, but she was much more of a force to be reckoned with than I gave her credit for.  

Randen-Wrong, but then again, evacuations are much harder to anticipate.  

Tiffany-Wrong.  She had much more game than I thought she would.  And I’m all the happier for it.  

Tevin-Wrong.  This is the one I feel worst about.  Dude ended up being a favorite of mine this season, with a distinctive style and charm out the wazoo.  He may have lasted about as long as I thought he would, but I still give myself the loss on this one.  Not sure why I thought he’d be annoying.  It think it was his laugh in the preview.  I like everything about Tevin but his laugh.  

Venus-Right on personality, wrong on time in the game.  

Tim-Eh, kind of right.  I think I was a bit down on his chances, but he lasted about the length I thought he would, and certainly wasn’t a strategic powerhouse.  

And that about wraps up this season.  Like I said, definitely one of the greats.  Between this and my love for “Survivor 45”, we’re on a good trajectory I hope the show can keep up.  In the meantime, as we enter the off-season, keep on the lookout for more content from me.  We’ll certainly see the return of “Survivor What-Ifs?” and maybe a few other old series if I feel up to it.  

Final thing to say about this season: I’ll be driving near Charlotte NC tomorrow.  I’d better see a billboard celebrating Kenzie as I pass by.  

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.  

“Survivor” What-Ifs?: Gabon

What’s this?  A new off-season blog that probably comes within a week or two of the official cast reveal for “Survivor 41”?  Chaos!  Chaos I say!  And, as long as we’re celebrating chaos, what better season to tweak in this blog than Gabon, arguably the most chaotic season the US version of the show as ever produced?  

Before we dive into said chaos, however, I do want to issue my usual reminder of SPOILERS!  As we’re going to be talking about timeline changes, we’ll probably have to discuss how things went down in our timeline, thereby spoiling “Survivor Gabon”, in the event you haven’t seen it.  As this is a season I SERIOUSLY recommend watching, please do so if you haven’t already.  There may also be talk of future returnee seasons, so be aware of that as well.  Those warnings out of the way, let’s go ahead and mess with the time stream.  

THE IMPACT

Naturally, in the season of chaos, we’re going to make things even more chaotic by adding in arguably the most chaotic player of all time to the season: “Chaos” Kass McQuillen!  

No, no, just kidding.  Fun though that would be to consider, I do at least try and keep these blogs SLIGHTLY realistic, though I admit that today’s scenario probably stretches that definition the most.  With so many people on this season playing for reasons other than “win”, motivations, and therefore actions, become harder to predict.  Still, even if this is a less-realistic scenario than I usually cover on these blogs, I think it’s one that will be fascinating in its implications.  

Contrary to that fake-out earlier, we’re actually going to be making this change fairly late in the run of “Survivor Gabon”.  Specifically, we’re going to make a change in the penultimate episode.  What is this change, you may ask?  Well, you’ll recall Ken and Crystal were fairly open about wanting to get Matty out at this time, Bob still being in the middle of his immunity tear.  This openness led to a certain amount of teasing/bullying of Matty, which upset the more moral Sugar.  In this timeline, rather than just keep that in confessional, she’s going to say aloud to Ken and Crystal that she doesn’t like it, and wants it to stop.  

A simple change, to be sure, but what sort of impact does it have on the episode?  If you think about it, everything.  Realizing that they still need Sugar, Ken and Crystal lay off, which impacts another major part of the episode.  If you don’t remember the teasing/bullying plot point from this episode, it was probably because it got drowned out by the “Ken tries to get Bob to give him his immunity necklace” storyline.  If you don’t remember THAT storyline, then you haven’t watched Gabon.  Even as someone who defends Ken, and thinks he played a good game overall, I’ll admit he went a bit overboard with how often he harped on this point.  However, bear in mind that this season was made up of several people actively setting out to play morally, rather than strategically, Bob among them.  As such, this plan might ACTUALLY have worked, had it not been for Sugar warning Bob not to do so (at least, that’s how it was presented on the show).  Sugar’s reason for doing this was deciding that Ken and Crystal were now the “bad guys” for their treatment of Matty.  If that treatment stops, as a cascade effect, Sugar never tells Bob about the plan to blindside him.  Cascading from that, Bob gives Ken his immunity necklace, and Bob gets blindsided.  Basically, this episode becomes the poor man’s “Survivor Micronesia”.  Somewhat ironic, considering that this season, while the next in airing order after that season, started filming before that episode aired, so the players can’t be accused of INTENTIONALLY copying that season.  

THE FALLOUT

This brings us to our finale, which goes down somewhat differently with no Bob to hog the immunities and the focus.  With Bob now out of the way, challenge beast Crystal Cox is free to win all the immunities…

Ok, ok, one fake out was enough.  Looking back at the final five immunity challenge in our timeline, with no Bob to win it, and Crystal most likely being a non-factor challenge-wise, our second-place finisher most likely takes the crown.  In case you don’t remember who that was… Well, you’re not alone, because I had to look it up.  It turns out it was Sugar, of all people, so I’m going to go ahead and say that she wins immunity at this point.  With her still being aligned with Ken and Crystal (the pair not having teased/bullied Matty enough to get her to turn on them in this timeline), this spells Matty’s doom, since he’s now the biggest threat left on the block.  Susie probably votes with him, but he’s now out at 5 instead of 4.  

This, then, leaves Susie in place for her surprise victory in the final immunity challenge, which I see no reason wouldn’t happen again, even with Ken and Crystal in place of Matty and Bob at the challenge.  Again, not much of a mystery as to how this plays out.  With Ken and Crystal as an unbreakable pair, Susie votes with them to eliminate Sugar, considering her to be the greatest jury threat.  

Yes, folks, your Queen Susie still makes the final three here, and even in this timeline, I think she does decently well.  Yes, she’s now up against Ken, arguably the actual biggest jury threat once Bob is gone, but she’s also up against Crystal, who’s still disliked by pretty much the entire jury in this timeline.  Thus, any voters who don’t like Ken probably vote for Susie, and Ken has made a few enemies in this timeline.  In particular, Ken has directly burned Charlie and Bob, so I see no way he gets either of their votes.  

Even so, I think Ken wins in a 4-3 vote.  Both Corinne and Randy were going to vote for him in this final three no matter what (he was about the only person either of them spoke positively of, with Corinne even ending her closing words saying she wanted Ken or Bob to win), though this sadly means we’re denied either of their vitriol, making the jury overall a lot more boring this season.  Sugar I think probably votes for Ken here.  With Ken never showing his bad side to her, he was probably the person left she was closest with, and so she probably gives him her vote.  Matty probably votes for Susie.  Even with Ken treating him more nicely in this timeline, Matty and Susie were too close.  This leaves Marcus, who I think is the most interesting juror to examine here.  Although not as vitriolic as Randy, Marcus does find himself in the same position as him in our timeline, in terms of “I don’t really want to vote for any of these people.”  His closeness with Charlie/Kota loyalty might make Marcus seem like a safe Susie vote, but recall that Marcus was directly betrayed by both Susie and Crystal, in the vote that led directly to his ouster.  Further, Marcus is not quite as, for want of a better term, angry as the rest of the jury, and so is likely to give Ken a lot of respect for helping organize his ouster.  As such, Marcus casts the deciding vote, giving Ken the win.  I’ll admit, though, it was tempting to say he would vote for Crystal out of that loose connection they developed through Crystal’s cousin, thereby making Gabon the first final tie vote in “Survivor” history.  

THE LEGACY

For how late in the season this change takes place, there’s actually not a lot that this change impacts further down the line.  In terms of returnees, it’s almost non-existent.  Really, Ken and Randy are the only major guaranteed changes, as I can almost guarantee that Ken is brought in to “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” in place of Randy.  Yes, Randy is still a big character in our timeline, but Ken’s been shown as the master manipulator, and a big deal now that he’s a winner, and not just the best strategist on a season of poor strategists.  However, I doubt Ken does much better, if at all better, than Randy does on Heroes vs. Villains.  It’s no secret to long-time readers of this blog that I am ITCHING for Ken to be brought back.  That’s partly because I think he’s an underrated strategist who deserves his time in the sun, but it’s also because I’d be fascinated to see how he does now that he’s older and more mature.  Look, I like Ken, even on this season, but it must be said he had some growing up to do, particularly in the area of how he talked about attractive women.  Further, his game was not flawless, a fact he has admitted multiple times post-season.  The dude has learned from his mistakes, which he needed to do in order to do better.  

With his victory, and return at a much younger age, I’m not sure that Ken has the hindsight needed to be able to do well.  Without his loss, I’m don’t think he sees the need to re-examine his game, and adjust himself.  He tries to play the same game on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” and that just won’t fly.  Ken’s game was very anti-authority, but he’d be on the Villains Tribe, where he’d need to get behind either Boston Rob or Russell Hantz.  I don’t see Ken kowtowing to either of them, and as such I see him being an early consensus boot, quite similar to Randy in our timeline.  That said, this season then becomes the wake-up call Ken needs, and he comes back for “Survivor Winners at War”, probably in Adam’s spot.  With the benefits of hindsight and maturity, I suspect Ken does decently well, probably playing a more under-the-radar game that season, though I doubt he impacts the ultimate outcome all that much.  Also, no attempt at the podium idol.  Boo.  

That said, Randy is still a big character, so he comes back on a different season, right?  Well, I’m not sure.  As Randy was not medically evacuated, and he’s not a good fit for a “Captains” season, his next opportunity would be “Survivor Caramoan”, and who does he replace on that season?  Phillip “Special Agent?” Sheppard is probably his closest fit, but given Probst’s love for “Survivor Redemption Island”, and his personal dissatisfaction during “Survivor Gabon”, Phillip probably takes priority.  “Survivor Blood vs. Water” is out for Randy, since he would, by his own admission, have no one to play opposite him.  This brings us to “Survivor Cambodia”, and the first real shot Randy has to ever return.  He seems like a good fit for the fan vote, so my only question here would be if he could do it.  Randy has notably soured on production in recent years, and that plus his age might get him taken out of the mix.  That said, because of what we’ll discuss in the next paragraph, I could see Gabon getting some representation at least on the ballot, with people like Charlie and Marcus getting the call, possibly even Queen Susie.  

But with returnee discussion past us, how is Gabon received because of this change?  Somewhat better, but ultimately not that differently.  While Probst is probably less vocal in his dislike of the season, given that it at least has a “good winner” by his standards in this timeline, the personal stuff he was going through still probably sours him on the season as a whole.  For the audience, the season is no longer the “Strategic Vacuum” it is in our timeline, since it does show the rise of a great strategist, but it’s also not quite the extreme chaotic mess it is in our timeline as a result.  It’s remembered less well, but not as quite as much of a train wreck.  So really, take your pick.  Is it better to be well-remembered for being a hot mess, or be overall better-quality, but less memorable?  I don’t really think there’s a wrong answer here.  

Welp, guess there’s nothing left to do now but look forward to the next season, which as I said should hopefully have an official announcement I can blog about in the next couple of weeks.  That doesn’t mean this series will end overall, though!  It’ll be on hiatus until the next long off-season, but once that comes, I’m going to need some new ideas.  That’s where you all come in!  Feel free to suggest timeline changes you’d like me to take a look at in the comments below, or wherever you happen to read this blog.  You will be credited if your idea becomes a blog.  If you would like your idea selected, the general guidelines for what sort of changes I pick are below.  

1. One Change Only: This can’t be a whole bunch of things or multiple things going another way to alter the course of a season.  This must be one singular event that alters the season in some way.  Cascade effects, where one change naturally leads to another, are ok, but they have to be natural and logical.  As an example, Shii-Ann not flipping and Chuay Gahn losing the final 10 immunity challenge on “Survivor Thailand” would definitely change things, but those are two independent changes that need to happen, and therefore not appropriate for this blog.  I should also mention that the change has to be an EVENT, not a play style.  Yes, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” probably goes much differently if Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) isn’t an asshole to everyone, but apart from that never happening, it’s a change in overall play style, not a single moment.  It’s also, as I say, implausible, which leads to my next ground rule…

2. The Change Must Be Realistic: An unlikely change is ok, but it has to be something that COULD have happened, or it’s not worth writing about.  Yes, Fang winning the first immunity challenge on “Survivor Gabon” would drastically change the season.  Would it ever happen?  No.  So there’s no point in writing about it.  

3. The Change Must Have An Impact: By this, I mean the change has to actually alter the season in some significant way.  Simply changing up the boot order is not enough.  Someone new has to win, the perception of the season has to change, or both.  As an example, I originally planned to do a blog on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, with a timeline where Candice didn’t flip at the final 9.  I thought this could lead to a Heroes victory.  Then I remembered that Russell Hantz plays his idol in that same episode, meaning the flip most likely doesn’t matter, and apart from a slight boot order change, the season as a whole remains untouched.  Uninteresting, and therefore not worth talking about.  

In addition to these hard-and-fast guidelines, there are two what I call “Flexible Guidelines”.  As the name would imply, these can be bent with a compelling arguments, but they are two things that should be borne in mind when suggesting new situations to examine:

4. US Seasons Only: This is nothing against international seasons of “Survivor”.  From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, they can be quite good.  The trouble is, as a citizen on the US, the US version of “Survivor” is the one I’m most familiar with, know the most about, and have seen the most of.  I haven’t even seen a full international season of “Survivor”, just the occasional clip.  Nothing knocking them, of course.  I just haven’t gotten around to viewing them.  So, while I won’t outright ban the suggesting of changes from non-US seasons of “Survivor”, bear in mind that I’m unlikely to pick them due to a lack of knowledge and lack of time to catch up on the seasons.  

5. I Will Not Do Brandon Flipping At The Africa Final 9: A flip by Brandon Quinton at the Final 9 of “Survivor Africa”, voting out Lex instead of Kelly, would indeed fit all the criteria mentioned above.  I’m refusing this particular scenario, not because it isn’t interesting or worth talking about, but because it was already covered by Mario Lanza in his book “When it Was Worth Playing For”.  He covered it so well and so thoroughly that I don’t think I would have anything to add.  I’m willing to consider this scenario if someone can give me a compelling reason that Mario is wrong, or there’s some aspect he didn’t consider, but until that time, this scenario is out.  Other “Survivor Africa” scenarios are ok, though.

Looking forward to blogging the new season with y’all!

-Matt

Sexuality and “Survivor”

So, in one of my recent blog posts about “Survivor Worlds Apart”, I poked a little bit of fun at Rodney and Joaquin describing their friendship as a “bromance”. That in and of itself was not very serious. Mostly it just an easy gag where I could get one. However that simple gag snowballed in my mind, and got me to thinking about relationships developing on “Survivor”. Specifically it got me thinking about the fact that, though we’ve seen a few heterosexual romantic relationships develop during the show, we have yet to see a homosexual or otherwise non-heterosexual romantic relationships develop during the show. I gave a cursory explanation for this, and for the purposes of that particular post, that was fine. However, the more I thought about it, the more I thought this was an issue worth discussing. Racism and Sexism have been brought up in the show, so why not sexuality? As such, I’m going to break what I perceive as new ground (though may be wrong), and dive into the show’s portrayal of homosexuality and why it seems that homosexual romantic relationships don’t develop on the show.

For the purposes of this post, I’m using the term “homosexual”, or “gay”, to refer to people who are not heterosexual. I am aware that this is a gross overgeneralization, and that the sexual spectrum is much more nuanced than just homosexual or heterosexual. My justification for this shorthand is simple: that’s how the show portrays it. Like it or not, “Survivor” is a show that, while having many merits, at its core looks to appeal to the lowest common denominator. As such, it tends to portray nuanced subjects in a simplified manner, such that those of lesser brainpower can understand them, meaning that, for the purposes of discussing how the show portrays people, there really is no choice other than “homosexual” or “heterosexual”. Since this is how the show looks at things, this analysis will follow suit.

In order to understand why it seems that homosexual relationships do not develop during the show, we must first understand how “developing a romantic relationship during the show” is defined. For the purposes of this blog, I am considering it thusly: to qualify, the relationship that develops must transcend a simple strategic alliance (though it does not need to start out that way), be more than a simple “friendship” or “true-companion” type relationship (J.T. and Stephen’s relationship on “Survivor Tocantins” being an example of “true companionship), and must begin during the taping of the show. Relationships that were present before the show was being filmed, or that developed after the show was filmed, do not count. However, once a relationship is started, it can end at any time. Relationships that don’t make it beyond the time on location still count.

When discussing romantic relationships on “Survivor”, it must first be acknowledged that they are a rarity in and of themselves, particularly when compared to other reality tv shows. Psychologically speaking, this can be attributed to the situation. It has been shown that, in starvation situations, the sex drive is one of the first things to go, and as that drive helps fuel romantic relationships, this would logically lead to a decrease in romance. Add on top of that the fact that after a week or so of no showering, teeth brushing, or changing of clothes, topped with constant sweating and rolling around in dirt, people just aren’t that attractive. Because of these factors, you can see why people don’t really hook up all that often on “Survivor”. Bottom line: Dirty, smelly, starving people don’t really think about romance that much. As a side note, I also think it’s no coincidence that most of the romantic relationships that develop on “Survivor” develop within the first week. Nevertheless, though, there have been relationships that have developed on “Survivor”. The relationship between Boston Rob Mariano and Amber Brkitch on “Survivor All-Stars” is the first one that springs to mind, but Oscar “Ozzy” Lusth and Amanda Kimmel on “Survivor Micronesia”, and Erik Huffman and Jamie Dugan on “Survivor China” would also qualify as exemplars of the model. However, not one of the even attempted romantic relationships on the show is between a same-sex couple, so why is that? Well, apart from the lack of sex drive mentioned earlier, there is also a lack of opportunity for homosexual relationships to develop on the show. Not to say that “Survivor” avoids casting gay people, but rather that they tend to avoid casting more than one on any given season.

As mentioned previously, “Survivor” is a mainstream show, and as such feels it has a duty to appeal to the lowest common denominator. However, it also feels, due to its status as “The Great Social Experiment”, that it has to give representation to more of America than just white, heterosexual America (read “What appeals to the lowest common denominator”). This presents a problem, then, and the solution is “tokens”. Basically, “Survivor” feels, on any given season, that it has to cast people to fit certain demographics. You have to have the black guy, the black girl, etc., and the “gay person” fits into one of these token slots. The key word here being ONE of these token slots. Unlike with race, where the show usually endeavors to match the example of Noah, and get a male and female of each, when it comes to homosexuality, the show usually feels that one person is enough representation. As one might expect, it’s pretty hard to develop a romantic relationship when there’s no one to develop it with. The closest we’ve ever come is Charlie Herschel’s crush on Marcus Lehman during “Survivor Gabon”, and since Marcus quickly pointed out that he was not attracted to Charlie in that way, it was played for laughs and forgotten fairly quickly. On top of this problem is the fact that, for homosexual relationships to develop, you not only need two people of the same sexual orientation, but also two people who identify as the same gender. So, even if “Survivor” were to cast two gay people on the same season, if they cast a gay man and a lesbian woman, then romance is not going to develop (bisexuality notwithstanding). In fact, the first instance where a romantic homosexual relationship even had the CHANCE to develop was nine seasons in, on “Survivor Vanuatu”. Even then, there would be a few major hurdles. On this particular season, both Ami Cusack and Scout Cloud Lee were both identified as “lesbians”, but as both already had partners at the time, it’s not too surprising that nothing developed between them. Even without that hurdle, I’ve heard conflicting reports on Ami’s sexual orientation, so that may not even have been an option. In any case, the factors of the environment and the limited number of opportunities for a homosexual relationship to develop, it’s no wonder that a queer relationship has not developed on the show as of yet. It’s certainly possible, but with these two factors in play, the chances are astronomical that it would actually happen, even after 30 seasons of the show.

Now, with that question answered, the next obvious subject to tackle is “Does this make homosexuality underrepresented on ‘Survivor’?”. The answer to this question is a bit trickier, and really the answer is both yes and no. On the one hand, in terms of race, the show has moved beyond its “token” orientation from its earlier years, now having a variety of non-white people participating each year, and notably tending to have more than one of each gender per race on each season. Sexual orientation, however, has not evolved with race, and we generally don’t get more than one homosexual person on the show per season. This is definitely not representative of the population as a whole, and is discriminatory in a lot of ways. I’ve always been an advocate of “Cast to get great people, not to fill predetermined roles.”, and if that philosophy was followed, sexual orientation wouldn’t enter into the equation. If someone was interesting, you’d take them, no matter what their orientation, or how many people of the same orientation you had. So, why do I say that the answer is partly “yes”? Well, here I’m not so much contesting the facts as I am questioning whether the methodology used to bring about this change would be right to do. Yes, it is true that “Survivor” has gotten more racially diverse of late, but you’ll notice that this pattern started with “Survivor Cook Islands”, which has the nasty distinction of being the “racist” season. For those who don’t know, or have forgotten, “Survivor Cook Islands” divided the tribes up racially, which was controversial, to say the least. Point being, if they follow this pattern, we’d have a season of “Survivor” effectively subtitled “Gay vs. Straight”. While I concede this could be a very interesting season to watch, and would definitely be more of a social experiment than “White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar” would be, it also sinks to a level of forced conflict that makes basic human decency cringe in horror. Most assuredly, more homosexual representation on the show would be a welcome change, but it would have to be something they just did, and not make a big deal out of. Otherwise, I think a lot of people would be turned off.

Now, while it may be true that homosexuality is underrepresented on the show, this does beg the question of how it’s represented on the show. The answer, and this is another part of why I say that the underrepresentation is not that bad, is that overall, the show actually portrays homosexuality in a very logical manner. The temptation when casting a “token” to be on your show is to make said “token” as stereotypical as possible. It is true in the past that “Survivor” has cast some people who could be considered “stereotypically homosexual” in this slot. The effeminate, wimpy, and overall disliked Chet Welch of “Survivor Micronesia” comes to mind here. However, for as many negative stereotypes of homosexuality as “Survivor” gives us, it gives us just as many atypical depictions of homosexuality, and often in a very positive light. It seems to be a fact that, more often than not, homosexuality is actually an asset to playing “Survivor”. The very first winner, Richard Hatch of “Survivor Borneo” was openly gay, yet displayed very few stereotypical traits of homosexuality, apart from perhaps a propensity for show tunes. Moreover, while his sexuality was a big topic on the show, it was never a case of “Let’s laugh at the gay guy!” There was laughter at Richard’s expense, to be sure, but over how arrogant he could be, not over his sexual orientation. In fact, the one time that his sexuality was most at the forefront, when socially conservative tribemate Rudy Boesch found out, what little laughter there was to be had was had at Rudy’s stubborn attitude towards Richard, and not about Richard’s sexuality. Not to say that Richard was a positive role model, but his sexuality was actually portrayed very well. Richard may be the primary example, but there are several other instances of homosexual people doing very well on the show. Todd Herzog, also openly gay, won “Survivor China”, and did so with what many consider one of the best final tribal council performances ever. Other notable examples include the aforementioned Charlie Herschel, who was considered one of the great strategic minds of his season, and made it fairly deep into the game, and Josh Canfield of the recent “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, who again didn’t win, but did make the merge, was a fan favorite of the season, and once again, one of the more strategically brilliant people of the season. It seems to be a fact that, on average, homosexual people tend to do very well on “Survivor”, and I’m not sure it’s a coincidence. A lot of this is mere speculation, but I believe in some ways that being gay is actually an asset on “Survivor”. While the game at its core is about social dynamics, “Survivor” is also a game of deception that relies heavily on hiding your true self, sharing information selectively as needed. As Richard Hatch himself has pointed out, this parallels what a lot of homosexual people growing up in America have to deal with. Despite recent improvements, it’s not always easy or even safe to “come out of the closet” in America. This can lead to keeping up a deception for years on end. Is this healthy? No, but it’s good preparation for “Survivor”, where similar behavior is generally rewarded.

All that said, though, it must be mentioned that there is a dark side to the portrayal of homosexuality on “Survivor: while there are many positive portrayals of gay men and women on the show, there are still a lot of gross stereotypes. While the success of stereotypically gay people varies, the fact remains that these people are generally viewed in a more negative light than their fellow contestants. Basically, when “Survivor” gets bad, it gets REALLY bad on this score. Chet Welch has already been brought up as an example, but there’s also Brandon Quinton of “Survivor Africa”, who was portrayed as extremely effeminate in his mannerisms, overly concerned with his looks, and notably performed poorly in some of the physical challenges. While the intolerant Frank Garrison was equally maligned and laughed at, guess who was given the most negative edit of the season? Brandon. Now, you could argue that he betrayed a lot of his friends, and his negative edit was based on that. Fair enough. But then you have more recent examples like Brice Johnson of “Survivor Cagayan”, who was out very early, and had a lot of stereotypes played up with regards to him. Notably he was portrayed as “fashion-obsessed’, and spoke in a manner associated with gay men in America. Though the edit by no means maligned him, it wasn’t the most positive portrayal ever. And then there’s Colton Cumbie of “Survivor One World”. Yes, it’s DEFINITELY a good thing to have homosexuality represented by a whiny man-child who has become one of the most hated people in the history of the show. Not. Although “Survivor” is overall very good at its portrayal of homosexuality, and can be a lot more nuanced than some other reality shows, the fact remains that it is not perfect, and there are a fair number of examples where stereotypes about homosexuality were portrayed negatively.

However, it’s worth playing devil’s advocate here, because the show overall still has a very good track record with the portrayal of gay men and women. In a lot of the circumstances I mentioned as negative stereotypes, there were extenuating circumstances. Brandon’s betrayal made him a villain of the season, Colton was just an asshole all around, and Brice’s negative portrayal was somewhat exaggerated for effect (he is a cult fan-favorite, in some ways). On top of this, the argument about stereotypical portrayals being in a bad light on the show would hold truer if it weren’t for the fact that, while nonstereotypical depictions of homosexuality generally do well, stereotypical depictions are not a death sentence. The aforementioned Charlie and Josh both have some traits that are commonly associated with homosexuality, and one of the most successful homosexual players, Rafe Judkins of “Survivor Guatemala”, was incredibly stereotypical in a lot of ways. Notably, he was very meek and had a “I love everybody” mentality not associated with straight men a lot of the time. Most notably, both he and everyone else on his tribe considered him “one of the girls”. Despite this, he was shown to be brilliant strategically (save for willingly giving up a spot in the finals), more than competent in the outdoors, and ultimately was a fan favorite of the season. Suffice to say, while homosexuality can be negatively stereotyped on “Survivor”, it’s really not the norm, and even a stereotypical portrayal is by no means a death sentence. Still, there does seem to a pattern wherein if one’s homosexuality is more stereotypical in nature, it’s more likely to be portrayed negatively, and often has an impact on one’s time in the game.

Why might this be? I would hypothesize that, simply, it just makes one stand out. Recall that “Survivor” is a social game. Therefore, someone who stands out from the crowd, as someone who is flamboyantly gay often does, is an easy early target, and therefore much more likely to go home early. For example, let us examine the fate of Cao Boi Bui on “Survivor Cook Islands”. A straight man, to be sure, but also one who stood out from the crowd, thanks to his strange stories, off-color humor, and his propensity towards the use of strange remedies to island maladies. Cao Boi faced much the same fate as a lot of stereotypical homosexuals on “Survivor”: He was much maligned both by his cast and by the audience, and was a fairly early boot as a result. This narrative follows word for word that of the ill-fated stereotypical homosexual on “Survivor”, implying that it’s not so much the sexuality, but the standing out, that causes this pattern.

With all that said, there’s one more imbalance worth noting. As I said, homosexuality is not limited by gender, yet most homosexual contestants on “Survivor” tend to be male. I’m not sure why this is, and I would like to see the balance redressed. I would hypothesize that perhaps the imbalance is due to the fact that stereotypical homosexuality is often portrayed, in very broad terms, as acting in the opposite stereotype of one’s gender. Now, while we’re by no means fully ok with women acting more like men in today’s society, we’re more comfortable with it than with men acting like women. Consequently, the show may consider male homosexuals, stereotypical or otherwise, more “visible”, and thus likely to make better tv. As I say, though, it’s just a hypothesis, and I would still like to see this imbalance redressed in the future.

Overall, sexuality on “Survivor” is a topic that needs more discussion. Whether it’s about romantic relationships, or just the portrayal in general, it’s something that should at least be discussed, if not addressed in casting the show as a whole. Hopefully, this blog, poor as it may be, has opened up a few minds to discussion, and maybe given you a different way of looking at “Survivor”.

-Matt
Edited by Barty.

“Survivor” Retrospecitves: Gabon

Once again, we have a season that, in many ways, was screwed from the beginning, due to it having to follow up a season with at least half returnees, and what many consider to be the best season ever, even today. It’s understandable that Gabon was considered a downgrade from this, but what’s really surprising is that at the time, it was actually considered to be quite good on its own merits, seeming to break the trend of seasons following “All-Stars” type seasons sucking. Unfortunately, most people think it has not stood the test of time well, and the consensus these days is that the season is mediocre, at best. So, which estimation do I agree more with? Was the season actually pretty good, and is now criminally underrated, or is it a flop that hid it’s faults well in the early days? You’ll have to read on to find out.
First, though, a quick spoiler reminder: This is a DETAILED look at the season, and as such, it will be assumed that all readers have seen the season. If you want an opinion on Gabon that has no spoilers, scroll down to the bottom of the page. There you will find a section labeled “Abstract”, where I give a vaguer but also spoiler-free opinion on the season. Now, as to the actual opinion, we must analyze it in detail, starting with…

CAST
Right away, the probable explanation for why this season was popular at its debut, but lost ground over time, is explained via the cast. I’m going first to be talking about people who are still remembered today, and the trouble is that such people are few and far between. Winner Robert “Bob” Crowley probably gets talked about the most, and even then, that’s mostly due to his being the oldest ever winner, at age 57. Admittedly, that’s pretty impressive, but the fact is, Bob didn’t make his mark until late in the game. He was a physics professor who was quite handy in the outdoors, taking on a sort of McGuyver role for the Kota Tribe, but didn’t play the game very much at the start. He would join an alliance, to be sure, but he himself admitted that he was honest to a fault. His real fame came later, when he broke down and started to get deceptive, and won several challenges despite being the oldest guy out there, as many of the challenges ended up being skewed towards physics. Bob is a character who, from my end, broke even. It always bugs me when people say they’re going to play a “moral” game over and over, as we know they’re going to break it, and so I initially wasn’t a Bob person. However, the immunity challenge streak did impress me, I was happy to see an older person win the game, and when Bob actually DID start playing the game, he was pretty good. Bob was a nice addition to the season, but not one of my favorites.
Perhaps it’s just my skewed perception, but another much-talked-about contestant from Gabon was Professional “Super Smash Bros.” player Ken Hoang. Ken made a name for himself by being a schemer with a rough start, who built up a solid alliance over time, and would most likely have won the game had he not gotten cocky in the last week or so. It’s commonly stated that he changed from a boy to a man over the course of the game, and while I think that’s overstating it, it was pretty cool to see Ken’s strategy evolve and change over time, as well as to see someone who did not fit the environment at all do well. Ken comes up when people talk about “smart” contestants, and people who maybe deserve a second chance, and here I completely agree with the public perception.
Less beloved is Randy Bailey, the resident curmudgeon of Gabon. Though less controversial in the post-Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) era, Randy is still brought up when describing people who really had no clue about how to play the game socially. The difference with Randy is that he KNEW he was bad at the social game, and didn’t care. Psychologically speaking, Randy fits the bill for antisocial personality disorder, leading him to be outright contemptuous and mean towards some fellow contestants. This made several people dislike him, myself included, but in a sort of “love-to-hate-him” kind of way. It helped that he had a suitably humiliating demise, and while he was a bit grating at times, every season needs a punching bag for the audience, and Randy fit the bill quite well.
But why stop at one villain? Ace Gordon was happy to supply a good amount of pre-merge villainy with his phony British accent. To be fair, the accent is the main reason people remember him, but his game wasn’t horrible. He was on the outs on pretty much every tribe he was on from the beginning, but still managed to struggle his way late into the pre-merge phase, and provided a lot of good schemes and one-liners along the way. Like any good villain, he went down dramatically, and in my opinion, he colored the pre-merge portion of the season in a good way. Corrine Kaplan also helped fill this role, with her snarky Jerri Manthey (“Survivor The Australian Outback”) esque comments, and her Sue Hawk (“Survivor Borneo”) style jury speech. I never had as much time for her, she seemed like Randy, but had more meaning and spite behind her bitterness. Still, she held up her end of the bargain strategy-wise, and she wasn’t unbearable, all things considered.
Admittedly, a couple of early boots do still get some play. Danny “GC” Brown is often brought up when talking about pathetic contestants, due to quitting while being in a majority alliance, and not particularly beat down by the elements, and Jacquie Berg is mentioned among people who deserve a second chance, due to having been on top of her original tribe, but nixed after a swap. Beyond that, though, there’s not much play for anyone from this season these days. Look back, however, and you see a lot more faces getting play. Probably the most talked about, and the most polarizing, was Jessica “Sugar” Kuiper, a very “Love-or-Hate” character. She was one of the smallest and weakest people out there, yet she turned out to be a great manipulator, and even found the hidden immunity idol, giving her a lot of control throughout the game. I always came down more on the “Hate” side, as I found her whiny, but I did enjoy her progression though the game, so I give her a pass. It’s her whininess and lack of success in later games that keep Sugar out of the limelight these days.
Also of note at the time was the pair of Charlie Herschel and Marcus Lehman. One of “Survivor’s” many bromances, people at the time fell in love with the smart pairing that seemed poised to take the game. Personally, I found them cocky as all get out, and was happy to see them go down hard later on, but at least that was fun to watch, and again, they brought their strategy game. Of a similar “bro-down” vein was Matty Whitmore, another “moral” person who seemed a physical threat, but failed repeatedly in later portions of the game. He was well-liked at the time, and the season definitely needed him to help balance the cast of strategists, but personally, I could do without him, just for how bland he was.
His counter in blandness, Crystal Cox is yet another who seemed to have no social skills. She was loud, obnoxious, and professed being a challenge threat, but turned out pretty pathetic as time went on. A lot of people were annoyed by her, and I can see why, but I just wasn’t. There was a perverse fascination in seeing just how far she could go, and again, she brought a lot of strategy to the table. As such, I like her more than most, and despite a later steroid scandal (she was an Olympic Gold Medalist in the relay, and later confessed to steroid use), I wouldn’t mind seeing her back, if only to laugh some more.
Apart from Crystal, the only person of note was Gillian Larson, the South Africa-born 61 year-old, who’s known for making a pretty pathetic showing in the game, and the main reason the Fang Tribe failed so much early on (which will be discussed in the “Twist” section), and I quite agree. While she wasn’t that much fun to watch, and I was glad to see the back of her later on, it was kind of cool to see an older lady on the show, and not be the first one voted off.
That about does it for the memorable cast, and I’ll say here that my score may not make a lot of sense for all that I’ve ragged on the cast for either being mean or not well-remembered these days. I’ll go into more detail explaining what I like in the “Overall” section, but I’ll say here that the cast was a good mix of characters and strategists, though with the emphasis on the strategists, and I’d say on the whole that the positives outweigh the negatives. Yes, the early game had some lame boots, and one or two late-gamers were unpleasant, but the cast as a whole was pretty cool.

Score: 8 out of 10.

CHALLENGES
I do like the challenges of Gabon… when they’re original. This is where “Survivor” started reusing challenge ideas from the past, though admittedly not in a force, and they REALLY showed in Gabon. It felt, in a lot of cases, like they just tacked on a few African masks to old challenges, and brought them full on from previous seasons. We didn’t want to see them again, and they really dragged the season down. With that said, the challenges that WERE original were pretty much all excellent. They were very physical, but with enough of a cerebral bent that people like Bob and Ken were not excluded from doing well. It helped a lot that the challenges tended to be grand events, that really made them stand out of the episode. Admittedly, it took a while for them to get exciting, I remember the first few original challenges being very generic. However, the season quickly got back on its feat, and nearly all original challenges, pre-and-post merge, were nothing short of exhilarating. I say “most” because the first and last immunity challenges come the merge were VERY bad moves on the part of the challenge department. The first challenge was a fire building competition, in itself a rehashed challenge, and the last immunity challenge was building a house of cards, which BARELY connected to the season, and didn’t fit “Survivor”, it seemed to me. I’ve expressed my disdain for this challenge before, and I stand by it here.
Yeah, this seasons challenge have a fair amount dragging them down. To give them their due, though, when they put in a minimum of effort, they were some of the best “Survivor” produced, even providing some challenges of its own to be reused. That said, I can’t score this section as high as high as I’d like, due simply to the number of reused challenges.

Score: 7 out of 10.

TWISTS
Alright, Gabon kept the twists coming hard and fast, so let’s waste no time. Right out of the gate, this season kept people guessing, with the tribes allowed to pick their own teams, the elders (Gillian and Bob) allowed to start due to their seniority. We’d seen this before, and while it was fun to watch, I wasn’t too terribly impressed. On the positives side, though, we did see a very lopsided pick, with Bob’s Kota tribe picking more for challenge strength, and Gillian’s Fang tribe picking more for social cohesion (though even that would be short-lived). As it turned out, this led directly into a challenge with a twist: the tribes would run to a finish line up a very steep hill. The first to finish on each tribe would get immunity at their first tribal council, and the tribe as a whole that finished first would get an extra supply of rice and beans for their journey. Thus, the challenge became a choice of “Help yourself or help the tribe”. This was an INCREDIBLY fascination dilemma, and started the season off with a bang.
GC and Marcus took home the individual immunity, and Kota as a whole won, thus setting the tone for this season. You see, the overarching twist was that Fang lost. A LOT! Not quite Ulong (“Survivor Palau”) levels of losing, as they did score a couple of immunity wins, but even now, they’re still remembered as one of the losingest tribes in the history of “Survivor”. I’ve said before and I’ll say again that watching one tribe get decimated was fun the first time, but not all the subsequent times, and this is no exception. While I generally enjoy the twists this season, this is one of the few I can’t stand.
The other overarching twist, which worked much better in my opinion, was Exile Island. It was brought back, but this time with a “Garden of Eden” theme, fitting the season’s lame subtitle “Earth’s Last Eden”. In this case, whenever someone went to Exile Island, they could choose between a clue to the immunity idol, which once again was strung along via a series of clues, and would be hard to find by chance, or the key to a hut in the middle of a lake, which was pre-made shelter and contained certain amounts of food (starting with an apple, and getting bigger as time went by). It was great to see Exile Island back, and this was a phenomenal idea to bring to it. It added an element of sadism to the twist, and even though pretty much everybody who knew who had the idol picking the comfort, it was still fun to watch, both for the dilemma, and for the hilarity of seeing those who did NOT know who had the idol pick the clue when there was nothing to be gained from it. On top of that, it was distinctive, and felt right for the season, so this twist gets a big thumbs up from me. Another twist related to Exile Island was who was sent. In the past, only the big, bad, physically dominating alpha males generally got sent to Exile Island. Ken Hoang, on the other hand, saw an opportunity to send the weakest and hope they quit, and thus Sugar of all people holds the record for most days on Exile Island, and even ended up getting the immunity idol. Give the girl credit, she is TOUGH! And clever to boot!
Keeping the twists coming thick and fast, episode 3 gave us our first switch-up, but in a unique way. Each tribe ranked its members based on value to the tribe, and the person named number one on each tribe got to stay, then devolving into the usual pick-‘em style redraw, with the caveat that you had to pick from the opposite tribe as yourself. Once again, an excellent shake-up of an old favorite. While a tribe swap was getting a bit predictable, the ranking of people lent a new social dynamic to the whole affair, and it was another unique addition to the season. Not that it helped Fang win, though.
From here, there was a slight dry spell, interrupted by GC’s quit, which is one of the few negative twists of the season. The next big twist was a blindside of Ace, which seems odd, as Ace had been on the bottom pretty much all of the time, so it should come as no surprise that he’d get voted out, right? Well yes, but the thing is that Ace though he had a solid alliance. Ken, clever that he was, managed to convince Sugar, who was Ace’s main ally, that Ace wanted her immunity idol, and she became convinced when Ace asked her for it. Very reminiscent of Gollum putting paranoia in Frodo’s head about Sam in “The Return of The King”, and very effective. And all this after another double tribal council, where the winner of individual immunity for one tribe got to give it to another tribe (Marcus won, giving immunity to Sugar), this was where the season really began to take off, with one great twist on top of another.
Ace’s departure, and the departure of Dan Kay left the number of contestants at 10, so when the tribes were brought together for a feast, people assumed a merge was on the horizon. First, however, Ken found a clue to another hidden immunity idol (this one buried close to the feast site), which was a great twist to add to the feat, but no one could have predicted how it would turn out. Charlie saw Ken grab the clue, and had Ken read it out for everyone (leading Ken to have a vendetta against Charlie). This led to everyone finding the idol as a group, and after some smooth maneuvering by Marcus, all agreed to throw it in the ocean, as having it would put too big a target on their back. As if THAT wasn’t enough, they later found that this was NOT a merge, but instead another tribe shake-up. This was a great series of twists, all unexpected, all adding to the paranoia, and giving us stuff we’d never seen before.
As a result of the shakeup, and a rare Fang victory, the new Kota went to Tribal Council, where we got out next twist. Marcus and Bob were from the old Kota, and they’d pulled Susie in at the second Kota. This left Kenny and Crystal on the outs, but it turned out that Marcus was friends with a relation of Crystal’s, and didn’t trust Susie, and so invited Crystal into the alliance. However, this would require voting off Ken, who at this point was Crystal’s main ally, which Crystal would not have. She spilled the beans to Ken, who worked his magic on Susie, who flipped to his side to vote out Marcus, who up until that point had been leading the game. It’s this manner of exit that Marcus is remembered for. This was a great shakeup that set the stage for how the merge would play out.
First, Ken got Sugar and Matty back under his wing, and blindsided Charlie. Then Bob made a fake idol, one of the best the show has ever had, and gave it to Randy, thus making his vote-off a blindside for him. Most people cite this as the funniest fake idol play ever, and I’ll concede it was a nice comeuppance to Randy, but somehow, I find it funnier when it’s an unintentional play, and this one felt a bit mean-spirited. It at least gave Bob a chance to show off his idol-making skills, however.
The REASON Bob had to make an idol was that he was sent to Exile Island during a reward auction by Ken. This was an old twist, as was the buying of a challenge advantage, which Corrine ended up taking. What WAS new was that the person with the advantage did not win. Ken made it to the final round of the challenge (Corrine’s advantage being that she got to skip to the final round instantly), and won (yay!).
The final seven gave us another blindside, but a convoluted one. Bob made yet another fake idol, and using it he and Corrine convinced Ken and Crystal (who were running the show) to get rid of physical threat Matty. This meant that with their flip, Bob and Corrine would be safe until the final four, even without the actual immunity idol. However, while Ken and Crystal agreed that Matty was the biggest threat available, as Bob had won immunity (incidentally, this was the start of Bob’s awesome winning streak), they decided to play it safe and flush Corrine’s supposed idol by voting for her anyway. Of course, Corrine had no such idol, and so she was voted out. The gambit pile-up was hilarious, and always fun to watch.
This, however, was where Ken’s plotting and cockiness caught up with him. Fed up with his and Crystal’s treatment of Matty (as they intended to blindside him after Bob won immunity again), Sugar warned Bob not to go with Ken and Crystal, and first Crystal and then Ken were voted off. In here we have one final minor twist. Rather than randomly draw colors at the final five immunity challenge, the contestants picked their colors beforehand, decorating themselves with paint and cloth. It’s fun little touches like that which help make the season distinctive.
Bob’s win could be considered a “twist”, but I’ve already gone over it, so I won’t analyze it here. While the twists of Gabon came more in the later half of the season, and there was a minor dry spell after episode 3, there was enough strategizing to keep one going, and what few ops there were are overwhelmed by the better twists of this season.
Score: 9 out of 10.

OVERALL
Despite not falling prey to the problem of “Generic South Pacific Island”, this season’s theme, as a whole, is not memorable, partly due to seeming a bit similar “Survivor Africa”, and partly due to the stupid “Earth’s Last Eden”, subtitle. Despite this, I would not say that the theme is bad, just less reliant on production to pull it through. Although more polished, the resemblance to “Survivor Africa” in terms of challenges is too similar, but in terms of landscape is much different. Gabon is more jungle than savannah, but also had the benefit of gorgeous sweeping vistas. This is where the season really shines: in what great shots they can get. Just look at the overheads for Exile Island. You will “ooh” and “aah” like nobody’s business.
As to the how the season comes together, I think it’s quite well done. No element really slacks, and especially late game, the good qualities of the cast and the twists their strategy brought really stand out. It’s the late-game aspect, though, that turns people off, and explains why this season has fallen from grace in the past few years. For those who didn’t find the minutia of early strategy as interesting as I do, or who just don’t like the producers going “twist-heavy” early on, the season drags, and only gets good in the end. On top of this, a lot of people were mad that such hateful, terrible, “undeserving” people made it far, and this, for them, ruins the season.
I, however, disagree with the consensus. I don’t look much into the concept of “deserving” on “Survivor”, and actually LIKED that it was the underdogs that made it far. It helped make for a distinct season at the least. While I accept that it has some negatives, on the whole, I would say the positives outweigh them, and if only for the ending, Gabon is a great watch.
Score: 33 out of 40.

ABSTRACT
While Gabon is not strictly speaking a “necessary” season for you to watch, as it has very few returnees later on who don’t do very well, it’s still an underrated, entertaining ride. While it starts off slow, every element works well, and if you’re a fan of underdog stories, this is the season for you!

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Caramoan” Episode 6: Playing “The Gay” Way

Say what you will about Corinne: She may be a bitch, she may show blatant favoritism, she may use metaphors so vulgar that even Sandra Diaz-Twine (“Survivor Pearl Islands”) would say “Oh my word!”, but at least she’s not a homophobe.  Quite the opposite, in fact; if this episode’s to be believed, she’s a homophile.  Now, that might sound like sarcasm, but it actually isn’t.  First of all, Corinne actually SAYS in the episode that she likes a gay guy in her alliance, and Second, support of the homosexual community is something that is sadly rare in this day and age, and is to be commended wherever it can be found.

But hey we’re here to talk about SOCIAL politics, not ACTUAL politics (though, in this case, they do involve similar levels of scumbaggery), so let’s get started.

We head back to the Favorite’s camp (and I’m going to miss calling them that), in the day for once, due to Brandon’s unconventional ouster, where everyone tries to bond together.  Phillip even does his best Coach (“Survivor Tocantins”) impression, trying to give a hearty speech about loyalty.  Corinne does kind of wreck the moment by getting cynical about Dawn suggesting that she wanted to say something to defend the entire tribe against Brandon, and she actually kind of has a good point.  Dawn’s only wanting to defend certain people kind of marks out who she likes particularly in the tribe, good catch Corinne.  All told, though, the tribe seems to be one big happy family.  Of course, there is a brief scene where Phillip talks about wanting to get rid of Corinne, but that plot thread is forgotten about for a little bit.  YAY, HAPPY!

Now, we can’t have that, can we?  Of course not, the ominous tree-mail music said so.  As if the “Survivor” clichés weren’t enough, Reynold then makes a statement about “wanting something to shift in the game”, that I swear had to be set up, or else take from an earlier (or later) point.  There’s no way, absolutely no way, the producers could have timed things that perfectly.

First, though, we still have fallout from Three-Hantz Island to deal with.  Michael takes his turn at stating the obvious by mentioning how it brought hope to the Fans tribe.  Matt also speaks up, commenting that even he thought that what Phillip took from Brandon is harsh.  Aw, come on Matt, I like you!  Don’t ruin it now by sticking up for Phillip, particularly in the blog where I REALLY lay into his gameplay (some may see that as harsh, given how mean I’ve been to him in the past few weeks, but he deserves it, come on)!

Probst gets it over with quickly, though, doubtless because they have an exciting new way of switching up the tribes!  You know, the tribe switches have become kind of lackluster of late, but this is effectively an “All-Star” season, they pull out all the stops for those!  They must have been saving something… Yeah, it’s the fucking eggs again.  I posted about them in my first ever blog for “Survivor South Pacific”, and I laid into them again for “Survivor One World”, and suffice to say, my opinion hasn’t changed about them. Except now, instead of just being lazy, they’re now being FREAKING lazy, and as we all know from Carl Bilancione (“Survivor Africa”) “It’s one thing to be lazy, but to be FREAKING lazy is another thing entirely.”

So the damn lazy, showoff-y eggs are smashed, with the result that Brenda, Malcolm, Andrea, and Erik join the Fan’s side, while Michael, Matt, and the ever-gorgeous Julia join the Favorite’s side.  Hmm, with the mixer, I suppose I’ll have to learn the ACTUAL tribe names now.  I’ll figure it out eventually, but I think the orange tribe is Goat, and the purple tribe is Lakib.

So, as is his want, Probst must ask the castaways to INSTANTLY size up their tribes, and not wanting to offend anyone, everyone blathers nonsense about their tribe.  Cochran calls it “A new start to the game.” (cliché #564), Matt talks about how all the people he likes are on this tribe, and Brenda comments on how happy she is in general (you know, people talk a LOT on the internet about how there’s been neither hide nor hair of Julia this season, but honestly, what about Brenda?  She’s been mysteriously absent as well, and you’d think that people would notice that as well.  It also seems out of character, particularly given how much of a player she usually is.).  These are bland, boring, political answers, so I will give my own impressions, even though all but the last one are pretty much stating the obvious.

The old Favorites clearly have the advantage, as they were such a united front overall (“Stealth ‘R Us” aside), and they now have the numbers on both tribes, being 4 out of the 7 of each.  Still, there is one bright spot for each tribe: Gouda has Erik and Brenda, who were on the outs, should know they’re STILL on the outs, and could organize a coup to turn things around.  For Bitter , the infighting between Phillip and every sane person on the world (Corinne in particular this episode) could lead to some good things for the Fans who ended up there.

Goober tribe really got the better end of the strength deal, with Malcolm, Erik, Reynold, and Eddie all on one tribe.  Benadryl does have Phillip, Michael, and Matt, but that’s still fairly slim pickings.  They might have a puzzle advantage, but a disturbing and unfortunate lack of puzzles this season means they’re probably in trouble.

Wow, in terms of the people I really like this season, I couldn’t do better than the Bazinga tribe.  You’ve got Cochran, Dawn, Michael, Matt, and the lovely Julia, all of whom I adore (in different ways, of course).  You’ve also got Corinne, who I can take or leave, but it could be worse, and Phillip… Hmm, Phillip is kind of a problem.  Switch him out for Malcolm, and you’ve got a very clear tribe that I want to win.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s people to like on the Gerudo tribe.  I mean, Brenda may yet become a strategist again, Erik’s good for some funny moments, and Sherri has proved herself socially adept beyond my expectations.  It’s just that there’s a fair number of people to really like this season, and my favorites mostly ended up on Blargle-Flargle.

Heading back first with the new Gulaga tribe, we see that Eddie and Reynold are somewhat excited by the prospect that they now have a strong tribe and, while still in the minority, they do have a chance to turn things around with the old Favorites.  They waste no time in throwing Sherri under the bus, talking about how worthless and scheming she is.  They also think they’ve got the right audience, as they’re talking to Malcolm and Erik, whom they believe to be the strong and the stupid.  The flaw in the plan is that Malcolm, while strong, is not stupid (the jury’s still out on Erik, and thanks to giving up immunity, Erik is now on that jury, somehow, I don’t know, this joke is confused, I’m aborting it here!)

I’d say shame on Eddie and Reynold for so quickly falling for the old Favorites’ charms, but to be fair, given that they were on the bottom, it’s a lateral move at worst.  Also, Sherri is doing the exact same thing with Andrea and Brenda, which I suppose you have to when your entire alliance suddenly goes missing.  However, it’s here that we see the true flaw of the old Fans: disloyalty.  There’s been a lot of internet talk about how pathetic the Fans are, and how they’ll be doomed post merge.  While I admit that the losing streak was rather a bad sign, I personally wanted to reserve judgment.  Losing streaks are to be avoided if possible, that’s pretty basic, but if a losing tribe can pull together post-merge they might still stand a chance, particularly given how eager the old Favorites are to cannibalize each other.  Unfortunately, it seems the old Fans are the same way, and just want each other gone.  Now, in a rare instance, I find myself in agreement with the internet.  As a group, the old Fans are DOOMED!

Over at Billabong camp, we find that the Phillip/Corinne spat was NOT just that one clip shown at the beginning of the episode, but actually related to a stupid bit of gameplay by Phillip.  With the desire to create more nicknames, he apparently tries to induct the fair Julia into the alliance.  Now, while I can understand the draw to want Julia in ANY alliance, I do have to question this, Phillip.  You say you want to play the “Boston Rob” (“Survivor Marquesas”) way, as in build a solid block of 6 and ride it to the end, fine.  It makes for pretty boring gameplay, but it is at least semi-logical, ok.  But then you have to STICK with the alliance, and keep it under wraps, not blab about it to anyone who wanders into the shelter!  It could be argued that Phillip was lulling her into a false sense of security, but I would point out that she’s probably not going to be on the jury, it was hardly a necessary lie, and it might spread the word about an alliance YOU WANT TO KEEP SECRET!  Julia, for her part, plays it cool (with a bit of bad acting thrown in, I must admit), and while she doesn’t know if Phillip is playing with her or not, she thinks it better to go along with him for the time being.

Corinne, however, is not so serene, not that she ever was, as far as I know.  She rightly thinks that Phillip blabbing and inducting anyone into the alliance he wants is a very bad idea, and compromises his integrity.  She even talks about voting him off with her new “Gay Man” of the tribe, Michael.  You may remember that Corinne aligned with Charlie Herschel on “Survivor Gabon”.  You might think this was just a strategic power-play on her part, but nope!  Turns out Corinne just likes to have gay men around.  Well, I’ve seen weirder quirks, and if it’s one that promotes diversity, then power to you, Corinne!

Back at Garrotting Gas’ camp, we get an utterly pointless scene in which Malcolm and Andrea compare notes, find that the old Fans are indeed throwing each other under the bus for realsies, and agree to stick together to defeat the Fans.  Frankly, this exists as padding, so let’s go to the challenge for a welcome distraction.

It seems that, despite his oh so blatant religious side, Brandon Hantz is NOT our messiah (thank God), as his death has not delivered us from repeat challenges.  Yes, it seems the policy of “Survivor” is “waste-not, want-not”, as they’re doing the challenge they were going to do in the last episode, which is the damn box-rolling challenge from “Survivor Tocantins”.  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a fun-looking challenge that’s fairly tough, and does actually include something of a puzzle, even if Probst DOES spoil the solution right off the bat.  The problem with this challenge is that it’s become SO COMMON these days, I’m just sick of it.  What’s worse is the challenge clip they showed going into the tribe swap looked like it might have been a new one (at least I couldn’t recognize it from the aerial), and yet THERE WAS NO CHALLENGE AT THE TRIBE SWAP!  Can I PLEASE get an original challenge?

I expect Bubble-Gum to lose horribly going in, and I’m not disappointed.  While they did a good job showing strategizing on both tribes, we really got more out of Bubble-Up-Pup tribe.  Things start off badly, with the physical advantage that the Gobbledygook tribe has leading to a one-box lead.  Then, some idiot decides that Phillip should run twice in a row, which is clearly a bad idea.  Finally, the stunning Julia gets the wrong solution to the puzzle, but that doesn’t matter, because Phillip insists that no one will listen to her anyway.  Most people say that my darling Julia is what ultimately cost the Bora-Bora tribe the challenge, but I would say that it was a combination of all the above factors.

Depressed, the members of the Bladder Malfunction tribe must now decide whom to vote off, and most of the old Favorites seem set on my poor Julia, as she’s the one they think cost them the challenge.  This would be all fine and good, but Phillip has to go and induct even MORE people into “Stealth ‘R Us”, or at least offer to.  After giving away FAR too much information, he offers Michael and Matt to join up, so long as they vote for whomever the old Favorites tell them to.  He implies that it’s Julia (although Phillip seems to have a problem with names, as he just calls her “the girl”, next thing he’ll be mispronouncing it at Tribal Council), and Matt jumps emphatically on board, thus cementing the downfall of the old Fans.

At first, it seems like our misdirection for the night will be very weak, with Julia suggesting the old Fans vote for Dawn of all people, and see what happens. Julia, I like you, but even you have to admit, that’s a pretty weak, arbitrary plan.  Fortunately, another favorite of mine, Cochran, comes in with some TRUE misdirection.  The old Favorites are getting pretty paranoid about the possibility of one of the old Fans having an immunity idol (the true hilarity, of course, is that none of them do, the entirety of the Budda-Budda-Budda camp is idol-less), but Cochran, after correctly reading Matt’s desperation in trying to save himself, concludes that Matt does not have the idol.  Accordingly, he and Dawn try to talk Phillip and Corinne into voting Matt, and so we head to Tribal Council with the old Favorites divided, though personally, my money’s on Julia going.

Much to my surprise, however, after the dull pleasantries of a boring Tribal, Matt is indeed the one to go home.  Talk about a surprise ending redeeming an episode!

That said, it wasn’t exactly a smart move.  For all that I like Julia, if one of the Fans has to go, it should probably have been her for strength alone.  Furthermore, Matt was most on board with you, a good potential flop for the merge.  On a more personal note, it also stings when someone who shares your name is voted out, particularly when you’ve wanted to be on the show for a few years.

On the plus side, two big things: I get to see more of Julia (I know, I’m weak), and Cochran of all people seems to be in a leadership position.  Look at him, he quite literally changed the course of the vote!  Props my good sir!

Next week: even more strategizing, and I finally figure out the names of the tribe (and more gay talk from Corinne, maybe).

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.