Idol Speculation: “Survivor 43” Episode 7: Show of Forced

Oh?  Oh, the title?  Sorry, that’s a typo.  It’s supposed to be “Forced Show”, since that’s what we got tonight.  I’m more forgiving of “feel good” moments than some, but combine them with Probst narration where it isn’t needed, and you’re rankling my hide something fierce.  

Our first bit of information as we get back from what I’ll be calling the “Earn the Merge” Tribal is the merge tribe name.  Turns out they went with Gaia this time.  I prefer my merge tribe names longer myself, and it’s not particularly Fijian either, but it’s fine for what it is.  At least it’s not another combination of the original tribe names.  

Our second bit of information is that Jeanine was NOT in on the “Blindside Elie” plan, and is, quite understandably, not happy about it.  Noelle is quick to sympathize with her, noting that she was in the exact same situation after her first Tribal Council, and noting how well it’s turned out for her overall.  Jeanine, to her credit, recognizes that she needs to sell herself as not being particularly beat up over the whole thing.  I can get behind this sentiment, but we see that Cody need not be afraid of Jeanine.  A salesperson she isn’t.  She’s saying the right words to people: How she’s happy to still be in the game, distancing herself from Elie, talking about how she’s less of a threat now.  But her tone comes off as either too insistent, or else stilted and forced.  Gabler’s grudge was more against Elie, so I don’t think Jeanine’s in too much danger regardless (particularly as she has an idol), but it’s more due to the situation than her prowess.  That said, I will give her props for her pitch to James specifically.  When James comments that she’s not going to be a target, she responds very well by saying “Then let me be an asset”.  Subtly planting the idea of working with her in people’s heads without insisting on anything, and making it sound very natural.  More of that, please!

Gabler may have spearheaded the vote in the previous episode, but he’s by no means the leader of this tribe.  After confirming that his idol is now inactive (I think most of us assumed it was, but it’s good to get confirmation nonetheless), Gabler talks about sitting back a bit.  Gabler tells us this is intentional, as he wants the “Alli-Gabler” to “sink back under water” until it’s time to strike again.  Eh, I’ve heard dumber nicknames on this show.  

Gabler may not have the chance though.  Dwight and Owen reaffirm the Baka/Vesi commitment against Coco, though why either of those two has the power to make that call is beyond me.  Owen, from what we can tell, was left out of the vote last episode, implying he has no real power even within his own tribe.  Dwight is slightly better off, having been the swing vote at his last Tribal vote (as in tribal phase, not Tribal Council), but still, decision-making power seemed like it rested more with Jesse and Cody than him.  However, they note that Gabler is a wild card.  A loose cannon.  A bull in a China shop.  Every other cliche metaphor for something uncontrollable/destructive.  Hence, Gabler is target number one, as the supermajority could still get out Coco without the X factor of Gabler.  Can’t fault their logic.  

No time for more strategizing, Tree Mail has arrived!  At first it seems like it’s just delivering the new tribe flag and paints, but as Dwight tells us, there’s something more.  Yes, the show is kicking it old school-style, by asking everyone to divide into pairs for the upcoming immunity challenge.  With everyone correctly predicting that they’ll need a strong competitor to get through, but also having to face said competitor at the end, plus the ever-present danger in speaking up in general, no one really wants to ask for anybody.  Honestly, this is a fantastic wrinkle/dilemma to throw into the game.  One that forces more social creativity, while also being a throwback to older seasons.  “Survivor The Australian Outback” and “Survivor Africa” both did something similar for their final 8 reward challenge!  I kind of love the callback.  

Immediately afterward, however, I’m reminded why that twist was rightfully retired: NO ONE EVER DOES ANYTHING WITH IT!  Rather than show their hand, the members of Gaia use their newly-acquired paint to create pairs of colored rocks, with people drawing them randomly to determine pairings.  LAME!

We cut to commercial with Sami talking about the mystery of what’s happening.  This challenge could be for anything!  Except, you know, Sami, the Tree Mail literally said it was for immunity, so it’s really not.  

Coming to our challenge, we see that it’s not just the production team on “Survivor All-Stars” who can divide people in such a way that original tribes remain largely intact.  Pretty much everyone is paired with someone from their original tribe: James and Ryan, Karla and Cassidy, Cody and Dwight, and most notably, Owen and Gabler.  This makes the only exceptions the pair of Sami and Noelle, and Jesse and Jeanine.  

It is the Owen and Gabler pair that I take umbrage with, however.  I get that it was random, but between that and the way this episode was edited so far, it’s a dead giveaway that they make it to the end, and Gabler wins out.  You don’t set up a conflict between two tribemates, then pair them together for most of a challenge, without setting them up for a conflict at the end.  And as Gabler was the only person targeted, the law of editing states that he must now be safe so the others scramble.  Hopefully they don’t drag the challenge out too long, at least.  

Speaking of the challenge, it’s an interesting mix.  Each pair makes their way through a net tube to dig up planks and flag, last two to do so being eliminated from the challenge.  Made all the harder by the net tube being twisted up, and in the mud.  Then it’s your usual “Plank bridge” balance challenge with two people, with the first two teams to cross moving on to the last round, which is the “Hold up a bucket with a percentage of your body weight by a cord wrapped around a pipe” challenge.  Combing your standard obstacle course with your standard endurance challenge is, I’ll admit, a new one for this show, but I’m not sure combining parts that are average at best add up to something great.  

Despite the challenge itself, or at least the first leg, not relying on teamwork (you could not help your partner through the net), it’s our mixed pairs that get eliminated first.  Not being jerks, everyone comes together to help Noelle and Jeanine (the two who could not get through the net) get out.  A pretty decent thing to do, though I suppose it is somewhat special that everyone helped, not just the partner.  We see here that it’s not just when sitting out that Noelle is emotional, as she expresses frustration at herself, and laments that she cost Sami a shot.  Sami, being a decent guy, tells her it doesn’t matter, and it’s all very nice.  

Too bad Probst just HAS to turn it into a “moment”.  Talk about how this is what makes “Survivor” great, and how sweet and unexpected this camaraderie is.  Or, you know, it could just be BASIC HUMAN FUCKING DECENCY, or BHFD, as I call it.  And even if it is something special, let the moment play out naturally.  Let the audience use their brain a bit.  Don’t feel the need to narrate over it and question everything.  Probst, buddy, I try and defend you as a host, I really do, but you’re not making it easy.  

Before we move on to the next round, we have a commercial break.  I’ll take that time to give props to Karla and Cassidy for making it past round one.  Neither of them was particularly a challenge sink, per se, but neither seemed a challenge beast either, which every other pair had at least one of.  Hence, impressive that they had a solid round one.  

Round two is not so lucky for them though.  Once Cody and Dwight cruise to an easy first place, we know from editing that Gabler and Owen must make it.  Sure enough, both of the Coco pairs collapse near the end (Karla needing to take the planks all the way back to start), and Owen and Gabler cruise to the final round.  

Said final round, according to Probst, breaks the record for this challenge, going for 37 minutes.  I’m not one to question the guys who made the show, but I thought for sure I remember the iteration of this challenge from “Survivor Philippines” being measured in hours, not minutes.  In any case, Dwight is out quickly, but everyone else hangs on.  

You know what this challenge doesn’t need?  More Probst narration!  Yet Probst gives it to us anyway.  The gift that keeps on giving, that man.  He asks what’s keeping everyone going in the challenge, and you can tell how forced some of these answers are.  Really, Cody?  Biggest regret is one lost wrestling match?  Sadness is sadness, but that had to be a good 20 years or so since you’ve done that.  I would think you would have moved on by now.  

That said, for every Cody, there is a Gabler.  Gabler is not content with having one motivator, no.  He needs to have a different motivation every minute!  This quickly spirals into the ludicrous, yet hilarious, territory.  Gabler starts out reasonable.  Talking about his family, and someone he met in an operating room.  Reasonable stuff.  Then he goes to more broad categories, like veterans of the armed forces.  Slightly more of a stretch, but again, hardly unreasonable.  By the end, though, Gabler is finding motivation in the entire state of Alaska, and making me regret using up my “Contestant breaks into my house” running gag too early this season.  We don’t hear every bit of inspiration Gabler has, but given that he was on states by the end, if you live in the U.S. I’d say there’s at least a 50% chance you were an inspiration to Gabler in that challenge.  

And to those who say the hilarity that is Gabler listing off his inspirations is worth the forced Probst moments, I would counter that Gabler probably would have listed them off without assistance from Probst.  

The only thing I had wrong in my predictions is that it’s not down to Owen vs Gabler specifically.  Owen can’t hang on, and it’s Cody who gives Gabler a run for immunity.  Gabler wins, getting to wear the extremely cool individual immunity idol for the season.  A bunch of claws centering around an animal skull.  Kind of derivative of the “Survivor Caramoan” individual immunity, but that’s a cool one to draw from, and this at least has some jade accents to help it stand out.  

So yeah, the sole named target is now immune, and so apart from Jeanine trying to get back in people’s good graces and Baka and Vesi coming back together, basically nothing has mattered this episode.  Well, we’re only what, halfway through?  Glad the show is making good use of its time.  

Following a PSA out PTSD from Gabler (that, to his credit, he does really well), we now need to scramble for some new targets.  Our initial plan is, once again, Baka and Vesi coming together.  With all 8 of their votes now active again, they can afford to split votes, since both sides now seem to be solid (Gabler’s vendetta having been satisfied for the moment).  They split between whom they perceive to be the biggest threats in James and Ryan.  The latter for his challenge ability, the former for his social prowess.  But of course, one must be paramount after the tie, and the coalition seems to be leaning towards James.  Can’t say I fault their logic.  Both are decent threats, but the social threats, at this phase, can be worse in the long run than the physical threats.  Besides, Ryan is more likely to split from Coco than James in the event the other is voted out.  

Adding to James’ target, he finds a note saying an advantage is hidden under the shelter.  Normally this would be a good thing, but James happens to find it in from of Dwight, Owen, and Sami, aka three people who really want him gone.  James plays it off as best he can, saying he won’t go for it until after Tribal Council to build trust, but no one buys it, and it merely cements the target on James’ back.  As such, James goes back on his word, and grabs the thing with no subtlety.  Ordinarily I’d chastise such an obvious move, and one that makes you look untrustworthy, but in this case, it seems like James just rightly read the room that he was screwed anyway, so he might as well get a hopefully beneficial twist out of it.  

Noelle in particular is leading the anti-James charge now, since Dwight disseminates the information of James’ advantage to everyone else.  We don’t see exactly why, but I think that’s because the episode may have shown us some events slightly out of order, as I’ll discuss in a bit.  It’s this insistence from Noelle that gets us our misdirection here.  See, Jesse still doesn’t fully trust Noelle, and so her really wanting this to happen makes Jesse think that doing so will give her too much power.  Plus, he’s got a tight bond with Karla, and thinks he can work with her down the road.  Voting off James might jeopardize that.  

What’s that?  You didn’t know Jesse and Karla had a close bond?  Are you blind?  The edit made it super-obvious!  You know, with all of ZERO CONVERSATIONS we’ve seen between them before this point!

Look, I get that it might be a “They went to the same school at the same time, and so at least knew of each other outside the game” thing, but that’s little excuse.  “Survivor Winners at War” showed that the show can handle “Outside the Game” facets well, and they’ve even dealt with this exact same situation before.  Ali and Patrick knew each other before “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, and the show let us know that just fine!  But even if you DON’T want to admit you maybe accidentally put a pre-existing relationship on the show, at least give us SOME other excuse!  SURELY Karla and Jesse had some conversation before this.  Give us that.  Give us SOMETHING rather than jumping straight to “They’re super close”

Anyway, Jesse talks to Cody about getting rid of Noelle, which Jesse changes to getting rid of Dwight, since he seems to be the better player.  In either case, I can definitively say this is a STUPID PLAN!  The group most likely to be successful at the end is the one that does not fracture too early.  Gabler has already fractured Baka fairly handily, so that leaves you and Coco.  You want Coco to crack first, and the best way to do that is to get rid of one of them, rather than someone you’ve been at least somewhat working with this entire time!  Even without factoring in James’ advantage, he’s the smarter play.  

Speaking of James’ advantage, this is where we find out what it is.  It’s our old friend, Knowledge is Power, aka the show saying “We’re going to keep giving out this advantage until it works, gorramit!”  James, evidently having learned nothing from the previous two seasons, starts telling people about it, hoping to build trust.  Ryan I don’t mind, since it would help keep him from wanting to turn on Coco, but Cody?  Even not knowing Cody has an idol, if you wanted that advantage so bad, you MUST suspect that Vesi is working against you.  Why give them ammunition.  This is enough to get Cody on the path against James again, and leads to most everyone else knowing that James has this advantage.  It also, in my view, goes to explain why Noelle might have been so gung-ho against James.  After all, James is out of the loop on the exact location of MOST idols and advantages in the game, but he knows FOR SURE that Noelle has one, since had and Owen effectively gave her one on their journey in episode 3.  That, rightly, probably makes Noelle afraid, and thus makes her more of a force behind this vote than she might previously have been, assuming that what we saw of her pushing for James came after knowledge of his advantage was specifically disseminated.  

Oh, and of course, as when any “Knowledge is Power” is found out about, there’s a mad scramble to shift who has what, leaving Dwight to hold onto Jeanine’s idol.  But I’m sure that won’t be important in the long run.  

In keeping with stuff being put in too short a time frame, our Tribal Council is a particularly short one tonight, but still manages to pack in a few memorable moments.  Jesse gets to call back to the “1-10 scale” moment from earlier in the season when asked effectively the same question.  I also enjoy, in a meta sort of way, Probst throwing out all pretense, and just asking Cody for a surfing analogy.  If we must have the forced analogies, this is the way to do it.  

Surprisingly, no one plays an idols or advantages.  James in particular has some stones given that he must have had some idea he was being targeted.  Kudos to him!  It’s bad news for Dwight, however, as Cody and Jesse (and by extension Sami, since he was also in on the vote) do a dumb and send him home.  While it might have been a bad move strategically, from an entertainment perspective it was probably the best outcome.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Dwight very much, but compared to the other targets tonight, he was the least interesting television, at least for me (I could see someone finding Ryan less interesting).  Happy with the outcome, stupid as it may be.  

That said, Dwight does not make the jury, which I am sad for.  Dude was so full of energy, would have been fun to see him being the King.  This is also a relative rarity in the show these days; making the official merge but not the jury.  If you don’t count Sydney and Lydia from the last two seasons as having made the merge, the last time this happened was “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”.  

Oh, and let’s not forget about Jeanine!  She tries valiantly to get her idol back as the votes are being read, tapping on Dwight’s leg repeatedly.  It’s all for naught, as the show has been kind enough to confirm this would not have been allowed, but man, she just cannot catch a break, this poor woman!  She’s basically in the Scot Pollard position from “Survivor Kaoh Rong”.  The only difference this time is that I actually enjoy watching the people who just got screwed, and so we miss out on some of the schadenfreude that season had.  

I will not say this episode is entirely without merit.  There were a few moments of hilarity here and there.  Gabler during the immunity challenge, and the aforementioned Tribal Council questions.  But apart from the occasional giggle, this episode is just BAD.  Terrible misdirection, poor gameplay largely across the board, and half the episode was pointlessly taken up by a challenge that undid nearly all the earlier strategizing.  I’ve tried to be fair to this season, but my patience is at an end.  You can do better!  Shape up!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.  

“Survivor” What-Ifs?: Kaoh Rong

Once again, if CBS will not fill the void in our fandom when this goes up by officially announcing the cast of the new season, then it falls to me to fill the void with needless speculation about “What Might Have Been”.  And oh, what a treat we have today.  “Survivor Kaoh Rong” is a personal favorite season of mine, largely due to giving us Aubry Bracco, my all-time favorite player at the time of this writing.  I acknowledge that the season has some flaws, mainly in the editing department, and this keeps if out of the “Great” category of seasons, but I still love it.  Definite room for improvement, though, so let’s see if one tiny change is enough.  

Before discussing said change, though, the usual reminder that there are SPOILERS ahead.  It’s difficult to talk about changing a season without comparing it to how the season actually went down in reality, so I can’t guarantee that this and future seasons won’t be spoiled in this blog.  Past seasons may also be mentioned as well.  Hence, read at your own risk.  

THE IMPACT

Like with Africa, which we talked about earlier this off-season, Kaoh Rong is something of a Holy Grail for “What-If?” scenarios.  Between the medical evacuations and the number of lucky coincidences that happen, there’s just a trove to go through.  Most of these center around Aubry in particular, since while you may say what you want about her in hindsight, she is presented as the main character of this season, so of course most story beats will seem to center around her.  In particular, it’s common for the Michele fans/Aubry detractors to point out that she was saved by luck (had Neal not been medevaced, she almost certainly goes at the merge), while the Aubry fans/Michele detractors will counter that Aubry was also screwed by luck (if Joe doesn’t eat a ton of meat at the final five, Michele almost certainly goes then, leading to an inevitable Aubry victory).  The point I’m making here is twofold: Luck is a factor in “Survivor”, for good or for ill, and these scenarios have been gone over to death by the fanbase, are both equally true, and thus not interesting enough to talk about in this blog on their own.  

Now that I’ve hopefully dodged THAT bullet, and also hopefully avoided reigniting a dead debate that was very cruel and unnecessary, we can talk about the actual change we’re going to make.  Rather than change the outcome of luck, we’re going to change someone else’s mind.  That someone is, of course, Aubry, and that time is going to be at the Final 6.  In our timeline, Tai pushed for ejecting Michele here, something Aubry could have gone along with.  She had Joe’s vote on lock, and Jason, the intended target of Michele and Cydney, would doubtless have gone along with the plan if only to save his own skin.  In our timeline, of course, Aubry sides with Michele and Cydney, citing Cydney as someone she’s tight with, and Jason goes home here.  

That said, what if Aubry decided to take more of an interest in Tai’s plan?  What if Aubry became concerned about the tight twosome that Michele and Cydney form?  We know from post-show interviews that the two were tight from the swapped Chan Loh (and thank you, by the way, show, for COMPLETELY leaving out that particular storyline, only adding to the confusion your ending brought).  It’s not impossible that Aubry becomes concerned about this, and decides to go along with Tai’s plan.  The immediate outcome, of course, is that Michele goes while Jason stays, but what about how the rest of the season (all two remaining episodes of it at least) plays out?  

THE FALLOUT

Aubry choosing to keep Jason is, of course, a controversial move.  I suspect Aubry justifies it to the cameras by emphasizing the Cydney/Michele bond, and also stating that Jason is not good at puzzles, or looks that good to the jury.  Even so, I’m sure this is seen by the fanbase as a possible game-ruining move at the time, and Jason probably brags to confessional about how he just saved himself, even though it was really Tai and Aubry’s doing.  Apart from this, though, our penultimate episode doesn’t change much.  Joe probably still wins reward, and while he may take Tai rather than Cydney with him (and even that’s not guaranteed), this does not change him eating too much meat on reward, and getting evacuated as a result.  Really, all that we can guarantee changes is that Aubry looks an even bigger fool going into the finale, noting in confessional that not voting out Jason may have been her biggest mistake, now that he’s guaranteed a spot in the final four.  

Now, there is one possible change that could shape how things go, which is the aforementioned who Joe chooses to take on reward.  Nothing really changes if he takes Cydney, and she and Aubry patch things up on reward.  If Joe is still in the mindset of “No trust with Cydney” from the last vote, though, I could see him taking Tai.  If so, this raises the possibility that Cydney, burned from the last vote, makes amends with Jason.  In the Aubry/Michele debate in our timeline, Cydney often gets left by the wayside, despite being an excellent strategist and key player in the dominant alliance.  True, she wasn’t beating either of our two heroines, given how many bridges she burned, but still, she deserves respect.  I could see her trying to worm her way back in with Jason, especially if she believed that Aubry had fully turned against her, and not just wanted to break up her bond with Michele.  Whether it would work is another matter.  Jason strikes me as the type to hold a grudge, and I’m not sure he’d be open to anything Cydney had to say.  True, you could argue he has few options, but I could see him believing he could just immunity his way to the end from here.  

All this to say that while I acknowledge another possibility is available, I suspect Cydney tries to work her way back in with Aubry, having little choice otherwise.  Fortunately for her, Jason is still considered the bigger target, and is in for a round of bad luck.  I don’t see him winning the final four immunity, given how tricky that puzzle was, meaning Tai is the most likely winner.  Sadly, we do miss out on Michele’s kicking of the puzzle, so that’s one downgrade.  I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Jason, without immunity, goes at final four.  Given that he’s the villain of the season, even in this timeline, there is much rejoicing from the audience.  

Of course, this leads us to the challenge at the final three.  It’s certainly possible that, unless Cydney wins, Aubry goes to the end, so I could see the season following “Survivor Cagayan” even more closely, and going for a final two here.  On the other hand, I don’t think production wants to risk even that, so we probably still have our “Juror Removal” twist and a final three there.  Fittingly, this final three is one “Brain”, one “Brawn”, and one “Beauty”, a fun bit of symmetry.  

Given how close Aubry came in that challenge, coupled with it not playing to Sydney’s strengths, I’d say Aubry is probably the winner of the challenge.  It would be easy to say she just votes Scot off the jury, since that’s what she wanted in our timeline, but in this timeline, I think she goes for Julia.  Also a person guaranteed not to vote for her, but more so than Scot in this timeline.  Scot doesn’t like anybody on this final three.  He doesn’t want to vote for any of them.  Yet, since Aubry burned him the least directly out of those left, I could see her thinking she has a shot at his vote.  And if she doesn’t, well, Julia was never going to vote for her either, so it all evens out anyway.  

Perhaps controversial these days, but I’m inclined to say that Aubry wins in this final three regardless of who she gets rid of.  She has three votes guaranteed on this jury (Neal, Nick, and Joe), and while she definitely has two votes guaranteed against her (Michele and Debbie), I think she has a chance at at least Jason’s vote.  After all, if he and Cydney didn’t mend their relationship, then we know from our timeline that Jason was rooting against Cydney, and Tai directly betrayed him on the Scot boot.  Jason may not care for Aubry, but she’s the least objectionable out of the three.  Add onto that Michele’s excellent Final Tribal performance not being there, and Aubry’s average Final Tribal performance looks a lot better.  It may only be 4-3 (depending on who our final jury member is, and how persuadable they actually are), but Aubry comes out on top here.  

THE LEGACY

Before we get into how this impacts the view of the season as a whole, let’s talk about future seasons, since really, this changes little.  While Jason and Cydney are both bigger, more respected characters, there’s not really a good chance for them to come back.  “Survivor Game Changers” is the only full returnee season since then, and I don’t see them nixing any of the Kaoh Rong players we got in our timeline.  And I don’t see them having more than four from a single season, so that is shot.  Aubry’s win doesn’t preclude her coming back, either, since winners were ok that season.  

That said, her win DOES torpedo her chances, and I’d say Aubry is maybe even first out of this season in this timeline.  One of the reasons I will defend Aubry’s game on Game Changers is that, while she never had any real power, the fact that she even MADE IT that far is impressive.  Game Changers, like “Survivor All-Stars” before it, had an anti-winner bias.  Less because “They already got money”, and more because “They’re the biggest threats.”  This justification led to Aubry being lumped in this group in our timeline, with no less than the Queen herself, Sandra Diaz-Twine, wanting her gone.  After all, the prevailing wisdom at the time was “Aubry should have won.”  Partly by good swap luck, and partly by her own guile, Aubry making it as far as she did, power or no, was nothing short of a miracle, and her game that season deserves respect.  But with an actual win under her belt?  Aubry has no chance of making it far this season.  

Of course, this does preclude her from coming back for Edge of Extinction, so she’ll need a replacement.  This would seem the place to include Cydney, but it’s only in the last year or two that Cydney has said she’s willing to return.  She’s doubtless asked, but I think she declines, for the understandable reason of her body deteriorating from the show not being good for her bodybuilding career.  My next thought for who to put in Aubry’s spot was someone cast after her to match her archetype.  Hannah Shapiro of “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X” and Gabby Pascuzzi of “Survivor David vs. Goliath” would probably be the top candidates in that regard.  However, I ended up deciding that neither would go, as the former has stated she won’t play again, while the latter, having just come from the same filming cycle, would be unfamiliar to the fans that season.  She would basically get the same reaction from the players as Amanda on “Survivor Micronesia”, and I don’t think production wants that again.  

No, I think Aubry’s open spot here gives Chrissy Hoffbeck (“Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”) her second shot.  While not the “nerd” archetype that Aubry has, Chrissy still gets the “offbeat choice” niche, while still being a favorite who is known to the fans.  Does this change the season drastically?  Eh, probably not.  While Chrissy might make it farther than Aubry does in our timeline, if only by virtue of actually playing an idol if she finds it, the anti-returnee sentiment on this season was too strong, and we still probably get our unsatisfying Chris win here.  The one upside is that there is no “Drive Aubry away from the fanbase by personally attacking her for a bad game decision”, meaning we have a more active online Aubry in this timeline, for which I, for one, am eternally grateful.  Seriously, fanbase, shame on you for how you acted toward her.  Agree or disagree with her, what you did is not ok.  

While Aubry’s win precludes her from appearing on Edge of Extinction, it puts her in the running for Winners at War.  Given that she’s a relatively recent, popular winner at this point, I don’t see her not coming back.  We don’t even have to speculate about who she replaces, since she just takes the spot Michele had in our timeline.  Does Aubry mimic Michele’s placement this season?  Probably not.  While I am an Aubry fan, I will admit that Michele’s game, while not as fun to watch, is overall smarter in terms of making a deep run.  Both play fantastic games that can be winning ones, but run their seasons a hundred times randomized, and Michele’s strategy wins out more often than Aubry’s.  Aubry probably goes either after the swap, depending on if she gets a bad draw, or early-ish in the merge if not.  Probably around where Adam goes in our timeline is her ceiling, just due to her threat level.  

But what of Kaoh Rong as a whole?  Well, for what I believe is the first time in the history of these blogs, we actually have a timeline change that RETROACTIVELY changes a season, or at least how it’s presented.  Specifically, Aubry’s decision at final six will FORCE the edit to highlight the Cydney/Michele bond a lot more to justify Aubry’s action, which is criticized at the time but in hindsight is seen as a brilliant move.  This paints the pair in a different light.  For want of a better term, a villainous light.  Don’t misunderstand, the pair aren’t the villains of the season; Scot and Jason claimed that title pretty definitively when they started sabotaging the camp.  But the pair are presented in a similar way to Ami on “Survivor Vanuatu”.  Not bad as people, but shrewd players who are an obstacle to our underdog hero.  Thereby de-facto antagonists, if not necessarily villainous.  This is why Cydney gets elevated to a higher status in the fandom, though conversely, Michele kind of becomes a footnote.  

Of course an Aubry win makes Kaoh Rong work much better as a season, and elevates it to at least near-greatness.  I hesitate to give it full greatness, partly taking into account my pro-Aubry bias, and partly because I could see her win being seen as “predictable”, which is often a mark against a season.  The main problem with the season in our timeline is that everything in the narrative tells us that Aubry SHOULD win against anyone.  I know edgic set up Michele as the winner fairly early, but as someone who was firmly watching at the time, I can tell you the assumption was that Michele won because Aubry got eliminated before the finals.  Thus, it still felt wrong when Aubry made finals but lost anyway.  There’s a conflict between what we think SHOULD happen narratively, and what ACTUALLY happens.  An Aubry win avoids that conflict, and at least for me, makes a much better season as a whole.  

Ok, so maybe this was an excuse to give my favorite player a win.  I admit to more bias in this blog than perhaps any other.  Still, I hope the scenario has been at least semi-plausible and fun for everyone, though!  Let me know what scenarios you’d like covered in the future!  I’ll happily give credit to anyone who gives me an idea I use.  Just post it in the comments section of this blog, or wherever you happened to find this blog.  Guidelines for submissions are listed below.  

1. One Change Only: This can’t be a whole bunch of things or multiple things going another way to alter the course of a season.  This must be one singular event that alters the season in some way.  Cascade effects, where one change naturally leads to another, are ok, but they have to be natural and logical.  As an example, Shii-Ann not flipping and Chuay Gahn losing the final 10 immunity challenge on “Survivor Thailand” would definitely change things, but those are two independent changes that need to happen, and therefore not appropriate for this blog.  I should also mention that the change has to be an EVENT, not a play style.  Yes, “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” probably goes much differently if Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”) isn’t an asshole to everyone, but apart from that never happening, it’s a change in overall play style, not a single moment.  It’s also, as I say, implausible, which leads to my next ground rule…

2. The Change Must Be Realistic: An unlikely change is ok, but it has to be something that COULD have happened, or it’s not worth writing about.  Yes, Fang winning the first immunity challenge on “Survivor Gabon” would drastically change the season.  Would it ever happen?  No.  So there’s no point in writing about it.  

3. The Change Must Have An Impact: By this, I mean the change has to actually alter the season in some significant way.  Simply changing up the boot order is not enough.  Someone new has to win, the perception of the season has to change, or both.  As an example, I originally planned to do a blog on “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, with a timeline where Candice didn’t flip at the final 9.  I thought this could lead to a Heroes victory.  Then I remembered that Russell Hantz plays his idol in that same episode, meaning the flip most likely doesn’t matter, and apart from a slight boot order change, the season as a whole remains untouched.  Uninteresting, and therefore not worth talking about.  

In addition to these hard-and-fast guidelines, there are also what I call “Flexible Guidelines”.  As the name would imply, these can be bent with a compelling arguments, but they are things that should be borne in mind when suggesting new situations to examine:

4. US Seasons Only: This is nothing against international seasons of “Survivor”.  From what I’ve heard through the grapevine, they can be quite good.  The trouble is, as a citizen on the US, the US version of “Survivor” is the one I’m most familiar with, know the most about, and have seen the most of.  I haven’t even seen a full international season of “Survivor”, just the occasional clip.  Nothing knocking them, of course.  I just haven’t gotten around to viewing them.  So, while I won’t outright ban the suggesting of changes from non-US seasons of “Survivor”, bear in mind that I’m unlikely to pick them due to a lack of knowledge and lack of time to catch up on the seasons.  

5. I Will Not Do Brandon Flipping At The Africa Final 9: A flip by Brandon Quinton at the Final 9 of “Survivor Africa”, voting out Lex instead of Kelly, would indeed fit all the criteria mentioned above.  I’m refusing this particular scenario, not because it isn’t interesting or worth talking about, but because it was already covered by Mario Lanza in his book “When it Was Worth Playing For”.  He covered it so well and so thoroughly that I don’t think I would have anything to add.  I’m willing to consider this scenario if someone can give me a compelling reason that Mario is wrong, or there’s some aspect he didn’t consider, but until that time, this scenario is out.  Other “Survivor Africa” scenarios are ok, though.

6. Try Not To Repeat Seasons: This is by far the most flexible of the flexible guidelines, particularly as many seasons have multiple inflection points with a fascinating change to dissect.  However, to prevent a lot of repetition, I try and prioritize scenarios from a season I haven’t done a “What-If?” on yet, over ones that I’ve already covered one scenario on.  You can feel free to submit scenarios for seasons I’ve already looked at, but bear in mind that I’m unlikely to cover them until I’m out of ideas for “What-Ifs?” on seasons I haven’t done yet.  For reference, at the time of this writing, I have done scenarios from the following seasons: Africa, Marquesas, Pearl Islands, All-Stars, Palau, Guatemala, Exile Island, Micronesia, Gabon, Samoa, Heroes vs. Villains, Redemption Island, One World, Philippines, Blood vs. Water, Kaoh Rong, Game Changers, Island of the Idols.

As always, our suggestions and feedback are much appreciated.  Take care out there, everyone!

-Matt

“Survivor” Retrospectives: Kaoh Rong

Having gone through a controversial opinion on a season with our last blog, let’s now talk about a season that was, in and of itself, controversial. Yes, the time has come for us to discuss “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, a season that I’m confident in saying has been the most divisive amongst the fanbase since “Survivor Samoa”, at least in terms of outcome. But did it have to be that way? And does that controversy come from a good place, or a bad one? Hopefully, by dissecting this season, we can uncover the answer.

A quick word of warning before we begin: This season will be providing an objective summary of, and subjective critique of, the entire season of Kaoh Rong. This means there will be SPOILERS, as we’ll be talking about the season from the standpoint of someone who has seen the whole thing. If you are not one such person, you do not want to read the entirety of this blog. If you still wish to hear my subjective opinion on this season, without worrying about spoilers, simply scroll to the bottom of this page. There is a section labeled “Abstract”, where I give just such an opinion. For those of you who do want the details, read on.

CAST

This cast gave us Aubry Bracco. Aubry Bracco is the most perfect contestant the show has ever had.

Score: 10 out of 10

Ok, ok, let’s actually talk about the cast now. In all seriousness, Aubry is easily the biggest name to come out of the cast of this entire season. It’s actually fairly easy to detail why, as Aubry’s whole story was laid out in a microcosm during the first episode. As such, we’ll summarize Aubry’s episode 1 story arc, and use that to explain her overall story arc. Initially, Aubry was not doing so well. Heat was a big problem this season, and it hit Aubry hard in the first two days. She got severely dehydrated, and even talked about quitting. She was talked out of it by her fellow contestants (Debbie in particular), but was still on thin ice going into the immunity challenge. Said challenge involved a lot of individual phases, including diving down to retrieve paddles, pulling a heavy boat up on shore, and of course, solving a puzzle. All physically and mentally demanding tasks, yet Aubry did them all for her tribe. Sure, she had help on the puzzle and pulling the boat, but it’s still no easy feat. Plus, as Probst pointed out, Aubry retrieved all the paddles for her tribe, when the other tribes had to switch out at some point. This, on a season wherein one tribe was explicitly labeled “Brawn”. The nerdy kid schools everyone, shows hidden depths, and overcomes great adversity. This shows us Aubry in episode 1, and shows us her throughout the season. While not quite to the degree of Spencer (“Survivor Cagayan”), Aubry was plagued by bad luck, often not of her own making, yet somehow managed to not only hang on, but become a dominant strategic force as the season progressed. Through it all, she was a charming and likable narrator, with a lot of good metaphors for the game (I’m particularly fond of the “Oregon Trail” one). Admittedly, Aubry did occasionally shoot herself in the foot (note that a large part of what she had to prove in the end during that first challenge was because of her own collapse), and had some good luck as well. However, the former is rarer than people give her credit for, and the latter could be said of just about every winner. Not that Aubry wins. Oh, we’ll be getting to that, I assure you. But the perception definitely comes across, and Aubry both benefits and suffers for it in future seasons. For now, though, Aubry is the narrator and driving force of the season, coming in an unexpected package, and making her my personal favorite player of all time. Definitely a benefit to the season.

Not to say that Aubry was or is the most universally beloved of the cast. No, that honor could only go to one Tai Trang. A diminutive Vietnamese man, Tai was going to be a bit of an odd duck from the beginning. Placed on the “Beauty” tribe despite not being conventionally attractive, Tai further stood out by being a staunch vegetarian and general friend of the environment. He looked for an idol early on, but dug up entire saplings so as not to damage them in the process. When the tribe won chickens, Tai made sure they were able to roam relatively free, and even saved one (Mark) from overall execution. Further, Tai developed a close bond with Caleb Reynolds. Caleb would fall into the category of “Memorable at the time, but now forgotten”, but since he’s so closely tied in to Tai, we’ll talk about him here. Caleb was already well-known coming into the season, having previously been a player on “Big Brother”. Caleb was also well known for being fairly socially conservative, particularly when it came to homosexuality. This could easily have put him in conflict with Tai, who’s gay. However, echoing the Richard/Rudy dynamic of “Survivor Borneo”, the pair seemed to move past that obstacle, and formed a tight bond during their mutual time on the island. True, they didn’t have the same cutthroatness that Richard and Rudy had, but they made up for it with more heart than the former pair. True, Rudy did come to accept Richard, sexuality and all, but Caleb was even willing to let Tai playfully kiss him, the sort of open embrace I’m not sure Rudy would ever have been capable of. That helped Caleb and Tai stand out, and made everyone like them all the more. We’ll have to save the thoughts on Caleb (and why he’s now largely forgotten) for the “Twist” section as a lot of it relates to the manner of his exit. Getting back to Tai, though, the fact is we’d really never seen anyone quite like Tai, and he was nothing if not unapologetically himself. Many of his stances, particularly regarding the chickens, should have got him voted out. We’d seen it in previous seasons (see Kappenberg, Kimmi). Yet, thanks in part to avoiding early Tribal Councils, Tai survived, and came to be accepted, quirks and all. Always an uplifting story, and one that made Tai, for my part, a rightly beloved part of the season.

If you were to ask about the biggest character of the season, and another unapologetic personality, one could only look to Debbie Wanner. How to describe Debbie? I’m not sure there’s a way, since even the show couldn’t. Debbie had a running gag, having listed off her many careers in the first episode, of having her career change in every chyron for every interview she gave. They even had it change MID-INTERVIEW once, when she mentioned a career that she had previously forgotten. Debbie was also a cheerleader, though, and so could often be heard yelling such gems as “We have the biggest frontal lobes!” in the background of scenes, even if she wasn’t the focus. Debbie was there, and much like Tai, always herself. If someone makes it deep, this is endearing. Debbie did make it deep, and so she is endearing.

But for all this talk, we’ve yet to actually talk about our winner of the season. Michele Fitzgerald falls into the odd category of “Memorable for Not Being Memorable”, kind of similar to Purple Kelly from “Survivor Nicaragua”. Michele had her moments, to be sure. A few key challenge victories, and some snarky comments helped keep her in the public eye. Yet, it’s the fact that she won, up against steep competition, that people remember her for. In my opinion, despite this relative lack of screentime, Michele is still a good addition to the season. She’s not the main draw, but what she does bring is good, and you see enough of her game to make her a solid winner in her own right. Of course, she doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but we’ll talk about THAT controversy in the “Overall” section. For now, Michele may not be the biggest character to come out of the season, but she’s certainly a sound player.

Rounding out our players who are still memorable to this day would be Cydney Gillon. Our only “Brawn” representative in this category, Cydney actually started out a bit low-key. Despite promising confrontation and drama (she mentioned having “split personalities” in her cast bio), she got herself into the majority alliance on her tribe and just kind of sat there. We saw her make a few sub alliances, and play both sides of the fence, so we knew she was a player, but she didn’t really come into her own until after the merge. Cydney was once again in a solid majority there, but due to some miscommunication and suspicion, Cydney flipped on her alliance to become what was shown as a power couple with the aforementioned Aubry, effectively running the game from that point on. What works best about Cydney for me is that she defies expectations. You hear “brawn” as a designation, and you think of them as being the “dumb jocks”, the effective opposite of a “brain”. And yes, Cydney definitely has physical skills, but what really made her stand out was her social and strategic prowess. She may not have made the smartest move in flipping the game when she did, but damn if she didn’t do a good job of keeping control once she had it. A fascinating arc, meaning all the memorable characters from this season are still memorable for a good reason.

Moving on to the players who were remembered at the time, but now seem to be lost to “Survivor” history as a whole, this is where the bulk of the “Brawn” tribe ends up. Chief amongst these would be our villains for the season, Scot Pollard and Kyle Jason, who went by his last name. Scot and Jason were the aforementioned dominant alliance on the “Brawn” tribe, and, to put it mildly, were not the nicest people around. Bossy, arrogant, and hypocritical, the pair effectively used their might as a reason to keep them around, and felt they could behave however they wanted. Post-merge, this led to a lot of camp sabotage once it was clear they were no longer in the majority, but pre-merge, this led to the bullying of one Alecia Holden. Alecia was a bit of an oddity on the “Brawn” tribe, having no obvious physical strength, and making few contributions to anything survival-wise or challenge-wise. Despite this, she continued to stand up for herself, and even survived a few votes (admittedly mostly due to other members of her tribe self-destructing, but survived nonetheless). I have to admire her for refusing to kowtow even in the face of scathing attacks, even if she wasn’t my favorite, and brought little to the table besides. Our first boot is really not memorable as first boots go, so rounding out our “Brawn” tribe is Jennifer Lanzetti, a Ming-Na Wen lookalike who did little in the game, but did have to have a bug floated out of her ear, and stood up during her exit Tribal Council to protest the way the vote seemed to be headed. Not the biggest character, but deserves some respect for being willing to shake things up. That said, I can’t fault most of these players for being forgotten. They made for some interesting pre-merge drama, but even Scot and Jason, the only two to make it deep, were, well, villains, and so not the most pleasant. I will say it’s a bit of a shame that Jason has fallen by the wayside, since he does seem to be open to criticism and change in post-game interviews, and could make for a decently interesting returnee.

In contrast to the “Brawn” tribe, there’s really only one person each from the “Brains” and the “Beauty” that’s been forgotten post-season. From the “Brains”, we get our pre-merge “Villain” of Peter Baggenstos. I say “villain” because while Peter was portrayed negatively, he didn’t really do much that was evil. Apart from conspiring to betray Aubry, this Barack Obama look-alike had sort of a mini-Spencer arc from “Survivor Cagayan” in and of that everything he tried to do blew up in his face. He had no traction, and was unceremoniously voted out pre-merge. He helped keep that part of the game interesting, but as he had no impact beyond that, I can’t fault his being forgotten. More upsetting is the vanishing of Julia Sokolowski of the “Beauty” tribe. Julia was a teenager playing “Survivor”, at this point a rarity but no unheard of. What separated Julia from previous teenage players, however, was her skill at the game. She successfully lied about her age, was considered a “threat” by the other big threats, and even managed to sneak in an immunity win at a crucial time. Maybe not as huge in the character department, but for such a youngster, that’s some serious skill! It’s a real crime that she hasn’t been invited back at this point.

This begs the question, though: Why were these people forgotten? Well, apart from there being such stiff competition (I really can’t overemphasize how big Aubry, Michele, Tai, Cydney, and Debbie are), the big problem will actually come up in the “Overall” section. As I’ve hinted at, there’s a controversy about this season we’ll talk about there, and that controversy kind of colored people’s perception of the season as a whole. Suffice to say, it was a negative effect, and people don’t like negativity (shocking, I know). Given that, it’s frankly astonishing we’ve had as many returnees as we’ve had, and speaks to the strength of the cast as a whole. True, we got a few duds, but we also got a good helping of being characters and strategists, most of whom made it fairly deep. Maybe not the best cast the show has ever had, but an above-average one to be sure.

Score: 8 out of 10.

CHALLENGES

Kaoh Rong continued the trend of newbie seasons not really caring about getting creative or innovative with the challenges at all. Not to say that the challenges were boring or uninteresting. Indeed, one thing I will credit this season with is making the individual challenges as big and epic as the tribal challenges. There was really no weak link, but few challenges from this season went on to become staples in later seasons, but the challenges are not this season’s main selling point. They hold their own, but do little more than that. I will make this score slightly higher than this summary might seem, for reasons that will become clear shortly in the “twist” section.

Score: 7 out of 10.

TWISTS

As I’ve hinted at before, the theme this time around was a rehash of “Survivor Cagayan”. This was “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty 2”, and on paper, this seems like a very poor choice. However good Kaoh Rong ended up being, it was going to be compared to “Survivor Cagayan”, which was and is widely considered one of the best seasons ever, and of the “modern” era in particular. It’s sort of the same pitfall “Survivor Caramoan” had by being “Fans vs. Favorites 2”: However good you are, you most likely will be looked down upon for not being as good as the first. It’s true that Kaoh Rong does not live up to the standards of “Survivor Cagayan”, but oddly this choice doesn’t have as much of an impact as one might think. The theme is brought up less than it was on “Survivor Cagayan”, allowing the cast of Kaoh Rong to stand more on their own merits, and it is interesting to see the same twist play out differently with different casts. For instance, the “Brains” were the disaster tribe on “Survivor Cagayan”, while for Kaoh Rong, the disaster tribe were the “Brawn”. Also, if you HAVE to divide three tribes by some theme, “Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty” feels more natural a divide than any other one the show has tried, so I can’t fault them too much.

Our announced pre-season gimmick this time around was the essential return of the “Super idol”, which could be played after the votes were read. Unlike previous ones, however, it wasn’t just one idol to be found. Instead, individual hidden immunity idols could be locked together to form a super idol, thus necessitating cooperative play. I do like the increased emphasis on social play as facilitated by this twist, but that’s really about it. Super idols, as the name would imply, are just too overpowered, and while they ultimately didn’t factor in too much to this season, it’s more an absence of bad than the presence of good with this twist. Plus, if someone had managed to get their hands on two hidden immunity idols, they would have had basically a free super idol with no social play needed, a possibility too horrible to consider.

The other pre-season gimmick, though far less prevalent and less hyped, was the presence of choices at challenges. I’m not just talking about choosing between types of reward, though there was a certain amount of that in the season as well. Starting with the first immunity challenge, and used a few times throughout, people could choose how they wanted to do the challenge. For example, after a certain race, one could choose to either solve a puzzle or complete a balance portion. This was a brilliant move with the only flaw being that it wasn’t utilized more throughout the season. When it did show up, it led to greater strategizing regarding the challenges, and fun dilemmas you could debate with fellow fans. The downside? None I can think of.

Episode one actually played out in a pretty straightforward manner, after our usual “Grab supplies off the boat” opener, with our first blindside coming in episode two. The Brawn tribe had an initial majority of four, being Cydney, Jennifer, Jason, and Scot. However, when Jennifer got caught trying to form a women’s alliance against Jason and Scot, the tables were turned on her, despite Jennifer not ultimately going through with the plan. This also was our first hint at the beauty of Cydney’s game, since she used the opportunity to get close to Alecia, and then get Jason and Scot to grab the idol from Alecia, despite Alecia having found the clue first. The Brains tribe followed a similar blindside pattern in Episode three. The majority had originally been the pairs of Peter and Liz, plus Aubry and Neal, joining up against Debbie and Joe, the latter of whom is really only notable for being the second-oldest person to ever play, behind Rudy Boesch of “Survivor Borneo”. This plan got derailed when Peter and Liz planned to split the vote to blindside Aubry. Debbie, however, got wind of the plan, informed Aubry and Neal, and used that information to flip the vote against Liz, explaining why she didn’t get mentioned earlier. While none of these blindsides are earth-shattering, they did set the stage for the majority alliance never being quite safe this season, which is always good in terms of mystery and unpredictability. Maybe not spectacular, but still a solid start to the season, setting up for good things to come.

Episode four is infamous, but not for any blindsides. Rather than market the challenge choices pre-season, one thing the show DID hype up was a record number of medical evacuations, the first of which occurred in this episode. Players competed in a challenge that involved digging in the sand. The trouble was, they had the hottest weather yet, and the challenge took longer than expected, leading to three players (one from each tribe) getting heat stroke. Debbie got it for the Brains, and Cydney for the Brawn, but it was Caleb, so determined to get his tribe even a second-place finish, who pushed himself too far and needed to be evacuated, the first beauty loss. Frankly, a painful thing to watch, and not helped by the lackluster back-half of the episode. Alecia was predictably booted, and while I respect her refusal to hold Tribal Council immediately after the challenge, as suggested by Jason, it did lead to a forgettable exit. This is also pretty much the only reason Caleb was remembered, as he brought little else to the season. He was determined, and wanted his second chance. He got it, and so now there’s no real further need for him in “Survivor”.

The usual tribe swap comes in episode 5, though with an odd number of people, we have someone getting left out. That someone was Julia, who got sent to live at the Brawn camp, renamed “Exile Island”, to rejoin the losing tribe later. While unplanned, this did make the shake-up more memorable than most of the recent tribe swaps, and gave us a good chance to see the inner strength of Julia, which was always a plus. Chan Loh (the former Brains tribe), had a 2-2-2 split of all original tribes, while Gondol (the former Beauty tribe) had 3-2-1 in Brains, Beauty, and Brawn. The former never went to Tribal Council, so the only thing of note there was that this was where Michele and Cydney low-key aligned themselves, and where Michele’s most snarky confessionals come from, as her fellow “Beauty” Nick was more than a little condescending to her. The latter was a little more complicated, however. As one would expect, Aubry, Peter, and Joe of the Brains agreed to work with Scot of the Brawn to get rid of a Beauty, in this case the heretofore unmentioned Anna Khait. However, Scot bonded with Tai, the other Beauty on the tribe, and once he found out that Tai had the Beauty idol, informed him of Jason’s idol, forming a Power Trio despite being on opposite tribes. When Julia returned to Gondol in episode six, this led to Scot wanting to turn the tables on the Brains. This was done through manipulation on Julia and Tai’s part, whispering to Aubry about Peter’s planned insurrection for the blindside of Liz a few episodes back. As Aubry had never trusted Peter since then, and Joe was able to get out of Peter that he had made these plans, Aubry went along with the plan, but did so in a way that just plain wasn’t smart. She made her decision AT Tribal Council. Normally not a major misstep, the issue here is that Aubry initially voted for Julia, then crossed out her name and wrote Peter, such that Julia knew she had voted against her. Unsurprisingly, this would sully their relationship for the rest of the game, and put Aubry in hot water in the immediate future. For all that it’s painful to watch as an Aubry fan, it must be said that this is one of the more memorable moments of the season, and again, prevents us from having a solid majority that just steamrolls the entire game through.

Then, the merge, and to pile on the “Royally Screwed”, we get our second evacuation of the season. Neal has a bad enough infection to need to be sent away, taking with him the Brains’ idol, and thus giving the former Brawn and Beauty complete control. While this is probably the least emotional of the medical evacuations, it’s probably the one that hurts the most, because it makes the entire merge feel pointless. We’re setting up dynamics already established by previous episodes, ending with no actual vote out, but the elimination of the player with the most ability to shake things up. This should set up for a predictable post-merge. Thankfully, this is Kaoh Rong, where the majority never stays the majority for very long. In the next episode, Cydney gets paranoid about a men’s alliance, and so counters with an alliance of the remaining women+Joe, leading to a blindside of Nick. I can’t overstate how awesome this move is. While it feels semi-foreshadowed, as we had seen Cydney make side deals before, it still shakes things up in an unexpected way, and the cocky and arrogant are usurped by the smart and likable, which is always nice to see (take note “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”). A brilliant move that breathes new life into the post-merge.

Say it with me now: This is Kaoh Rong, so the majority doesn’t last. With Scot, Tai, and Jason on the outs, they start sabotaging the camp, confident in the protection of their super idol. Julia starts playing both sides, with Aubry being the main one to take notice. Unfortunately with Julia immune in the next episode, and wanting to flush the idols, a new target is needed. Debbie is the decided victim, due to being a bit too dictatorial in her conversations with the alliance. Again, a good shakeup, though not as good a move, as it give a threesome with inordinate power for their size even more power. Plus, there’s a super idol to flush. Granted, the alliance can’t possibly know about that (Scot and Jason had shown off the idols at Tribal Council, but did not mention the Super Idol twist), but still, objectively a bad move in that regard.

Our next reward challenge brings a twist, and I’m not just talking about the reward choice again. The extra-vote advantage is back from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, won in this case by Tai. Not a bad twist to bring back, but unneeded in this environment. What IS needed is another power dynamic shakeup. With seven people left, and no idols flushed, plus the Super Idol, Scot, Jason, Julia, and Tai seem set to control the rest of the game. Aubry, however, has other plans. Noting that Scot and Jason in particular come across as bullies, Aubry talks to Tai and gets him to side with herself, Cydney, Michele, and Joe. Thus, when Scot gets the majority of votes, Tai refuses to join up and make the Super Idol, leading to Scot’s elimination with the idol in his pocket. If you’re wondering why Cydney’s women’s alliance wasn’t the greatest move of the season, it’s only because this flip was. Not only were the twists of the season beaten, they were beaten purely though social manipulation, the core of what “Survivor” is about. Plus, it’s always nice to see the villains and bullies get so thoroughly beaten in such an ironic way.

The next two votes actually remain fairly predictable, in a rarity for the season. Michele does agree to vote out Julia, despite being allied with her, and Tai wastes his extra vote against Michele, but really not much happens until the final five. This comes in the form of our third medical evacuation, and probably the most pathetic yet. Joe, going on a reward, ate too much red meat, got his colon blocked, and needed to be evacuated. Rough to see, and yet another obstacle going into the finals.

Good manipulation of Cydney by Aubry puts Michele on the chopping block. When Michele wins immunity, and gets Cydney back on her side, Aubry uses her connection with Tai to get it to fire making, which she wins. An exciting start to the finale, and a good demonstration of why, despite being an excellent strategist, Cydney still had some flaws in her game. It was clear from their chatter that the jury HATED her, and wanted her to lose. In a shock to the audience, but not, for some reason, the players, we don’t have a final two, despite the numbers being right for one. I guess the show didn’t want to copy “Survivor Cagayan” too much. Instead, our final three challenge lets a player eliminate a juror of their choosing. They get immediately sequestered, and get no vote at Final Tribal Council. This twist gets a lot of hate, but on paper, I actually like it. It can be a good safety net, and requires some knowledge of both self and others to use properly. It’s never come back, probably because of its use this season, but I think it could actually have some potential. At the very least, it would cut down on the massive juries we’re having to deal with nowadays. That said, its use here does reek of both desperation and cruelty. It’s become obvious at this point that production wants Aubry to win, and it feels like they put in this twist just to ensure that she made finals. On top of that, Michele wins the advantage and uses it against Neal. A wise choice, given that Neal was a solid Aubry vote, and gave Michele a very vindictive speech upon leaving, but it felt cruel to Neal. I mean, the guy got to cast one vote the entire season, made the merge, and doesn’t even get to hang around that long? That feels wrong.

Not so much a “twist”, but it is worth noting that this season brought back closing speeches by our finalists, probably in an attempt to help them side with Aubry. It doesn’t work, as our real twist comes in the form of Michele winning 5-2. Why? Well, join me in the next section, as we’ll discuss it.

For now, though, let us summarize the overall twists of the season. Kaoh Rong is a rarity in the 30’s in and of that there’s very few twists from production, but a bunch implemented by the players. This, I think, is to the season’s advantage. It helps the season stand out, while still maintaining unpredictability, and feels very “real” to the audience, for want of a better term. Granted, pretty much every production twist at best had no impact, but with cast twists this good, less is more. Most every episode had something exciting in it, and good triumphed in the end, and so we get what is probably the strongest overall category of the season.

Score: 9 out of 10.

OVERALL

On the aesthetic side of things, the show really shot itself in the foot by leaning too heavily into the traditional architecture of Cambodia during the previous season. This one felt much more generic by comparison, and just looking at it, you couldn’t tell it from one of many other seasons. It’s easy to forget that it IS in Cambodia at times. I’ll give credit that we got nice popping colors (the buff designs are some of my all-time favorites), but the season just doesn’t seem to have a cohesive theme, and when it does try, it’s reused from another, better season.

But of course, we’re all here to talk about the big flaw in the season. Forgive me for repeating myself from the last blog, but Kaoh Rong is another season where the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts. Most every element in Kaoh Rong is at least ok, and the gameplay this season is some of the best we’ve ever had. There was a great story here, so why didn’t it equate to a great season? The answer, my friends, is in the edit.

As I said, there’s a great story to be told for this season, but it’s not the one the editors were interested in telling us. Rather than the story of Michele Fitzgerald, Social Queen, they wanted to emphasize Aubry Bracco, Robbed Goddess. As an Aubry fan, I’m not COMPLAINING, per se, about her being presented positively, but doing so when she doesn’t win sets the season up for failure. Look at it this way: Kaoh Rong had a very likable final four. Possibly the most likable final four the show has ever had. There was pretty much no outcome viewers would not find satisfying. Yet you managed to find one! I’m not sure that was possible! While it would be unfair to say Michele was INVISIBLE, Aubry was clearly the dominating force of the season. Again, not a dealbreaker on a good season, but you need to show why that dominating force lost. What was their fatal flaw that kept them from winning in the end? Weird though it is to say, the show needed to take a cue from “Survivor All-Stars”. On that season, we had another dominating force in Boston Rob who ended up losing. People can argue about whether or not Rob should have won, but even the most ardent Boston Rob fans can still see the flaws in his game that led to his loss. Even if you don’t agree with the outcome, you still understand why it happened.

This is not the case with Kaoh Rong. Aubry’s flaws, if shown at all, were very much downplayed, to the point where they weren’t talked about much beyond the episode they appeared in. Rather than a brilliant, but flawed, strategist, Aubry got presented as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Even her enemies were shown as liking her, with Scot and Jason complimenting her game at Tribal Council in what turned out to be Scot’s boot. From what we, the audience, saw, Aubry had most of the jury (save Julia and Debbie) wrapped around her finger, guaranteed to win pretty much no matter who she was up against. Michele? She played well, certainly, and was known to be liked, but the common consensus at the time was that Michele’s win was predicated on Aubry being voted out. Cydney and Tai had both had social gaffes, to the point where Michele was commonly seen as more likable than them, but Aubry? Again, apart from Julia and Debbie, we were never shown any dislike of Aubry by the jury, or even why the rest of the jury’s liking of Michele was greater than their liking of Aubry. Put simply, the editors tried to make their own story out of the season, instead of the actual story of the season, and it left us feeling wanting.

Case in point, what should have been a well-received season led to one of the biggest blowups in the fan community since the outcome of “Survivor Samoa”. If “Survivor” were still a cultural touchstone, there would have been rioting in the streets. The Aubry fans argued loudly for her win, leading Michele fans to fire back in anger. There was hatred and nastiness on both sides. It was a rough time to be a fan.

In the end, that is the tragedy and the failure of Kaoh Rong. It was never going to be perfect. No season is. But it could easily have been one of the greats. Instead, by trying to make the season that pleased themselves, production made a season that pleased no one else. The good elements do still shine through, but the damage is done by this point.

Score: 30 out of 40.

ABSTRACT

“Survivor Kaoh Rong” is definitely a necessary season if you’re planning to view future seasons. It has a lot of impact, both in returnees and twists, down the road. “Survivor Kaoh Rong” feels like a very back-to-basics season, with most of the best elements springing forth from the cast themselves, rather than production. That said, when production DOES stick its hand in the show, it always makes it worse, or at best has no impact. This season is definitely worth a watch, but be prepared to be disappointed by what could have been.

-Matt

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Winners at War” Episode 12: Little Ozlettes

Congratulations to user bwburke94 for correctly identifying last episode’s blog title as coming courtesy of Devon Pinto of “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new show topper. As befits a “Legends” season such as this, we have referenced an element of seasons past, but done it to a greater extreme than we have in the past. I’m talking, of course, about the area of romance. We’ve seen the loving relationship between Boston Rob and Amber develop of the course of “Survivor All-Stars”. We’ve seen the multiple PDA’s of Amanda and Ozzy on “Survivor Micronesia”. We’ve seen countless contestants, as Malcolm Freberg so eloquently put it on “Survivor Philippines”, “Go booty blind.” But now, we have a love story to trump them all. I’m talking, of course, about the romance blooming between Ben and Tony. Look at them, ladies and gentleman! That is a full-on bridal carry we’re seeing from the happy couple! If that isn’t the epitome of love, I don’t know what is!

Don’t believe me? Despite being blindsided at the last vote, Ben takes everything in stride. He compliments Tony on a blindside well put-together, and asks for an explanation. While Ben does later admit to not trusting Tony, this is actually about as good a reaction overall, and I need to give the guy credit for it. Lord knows Jeremy won’t. The man once again goes on about how Ben was once his ride-or-die, but is now not even talking to him. Tony also gets in on the action, saying that Ben took the blindside poorly. Is there just something we’re not seeing here? From what I’m getting, it looks like Ben is a pretty textbook example of how to handle a blindside.

Contrast with Sarah, who clearly shows us how NOT to handle a blindside. Sarah tells us that before talking to Tony, she told herself to calm down and not fly of the handle. This is immediately contrasted with her constant swearing, along with her and Tony talking over each other heatedly. While neither burns the bridge completely, as both want to continue working with the other, neither fully trusts the other at this point. This sends Tony in particular into a panic, forcing him to come clean to Ben about his idol to build trust. Ben admits that he doesn’t fully return Tony’s trust, but isn’t ready to throw him out just yet. Jeremy needs to go first.

Speaking of Jeremy, we get to see more of Ben’s supposed “hatred” of him the following morning. Jeremy asks Ben how he slept. Ben responds “Good”, and goes to have a wash in the ocean. Jeremy complains to Kim, along with pretty much anyone within earshot, about how this means that Ben can’t stand him, let alone hold a polite conversation! The evidence is there to see! He… answered your question then went off to do something that’s a part of many people’s morning routines… Ok, Jeremy, I’m really not getting the “Ben hates you.” vibe you’re saying is there. Maybe it’s just because of how obvious his animosity was towards Adam back when Adam was still in the game, but it really seems like Ben is at worst indifferent to Jeremy. Jeremy tries to set Kim on the anti-Ben path, but Kim has other ideas. Kim is still not happy to have Tony in the game, especially given the connection between him and Sarah that is becoming more obvious by the day. As such, she wants him gone, and so starts talking up the idea to some people.

More on that later, though, as we have to go over to the Edge of Extinction! Yes, why delve deeper into the tribe dynamics of the players still in the game, particularly when they aren’t named Tony, when we could talk about the people who managed to get themselves voted out! Hell, we don’t even spend any time on the “toughness” of Edge of Extinction, as we’re too busy earning fire tokens. In a callback to the log-moving challenge which Ethan makes blatant, everyone must move a pile of coconuts from the back of the island to their shelter, one coconut at a time. Not a bad challenge to call back to, but this one is a definite downgrade. While I get making the challenge easier by removing the vertical element, since it cause medical to come out for Ethan, making it a race is a move I can’t get behind. When you had the focus be on endurance, you could follow individual stories, and get involved in the individual struggles as each player worked to accomplish the goal. By making it a race, the interest now comes in who’s ahead and behind, something hard to follow in a marathon, particularly one without clearly defined paths to follow. As such, we’re mostly told who is and isn’t doing well, with some individual stories sprinkled in there. Adam, of course, acknowledges that he is not cut out for this challenge, though the show feels the need to rub salt in the wound by cutting back to him having trouble over and over. One confessional would have been enough. Boston Rob gets an early lead, but manages to take a bad fall and damage his elbow, causing no small amount of bleeding. Still, the man finishes the challenge, even if he doesn’t place. According to him and Amber, this is to show that he “never gives up”. Because that was ever in doubt? Natalie and Sophie finish first and second, respectively. Unsurprising for Natalie at this point, but good for Sophie. Yes, she had a few challenge wins under her belt from “Survivor South Pacific”, and yes, she was probably better fed than most anyone left, but even so, a second place finish is quite impressive, especially over some of the athletes on the Edge of Extinction. Yul comes in third, while Tyson and Parvati take a combined fourth place. The only real “race” is between Danni and Wendell for sixth, which Wendell takes. All winners earn two fire tokens, which is good for them, but I feel that better scenes could have been had back at the camp.

Or perhaps not, as what we’re treated to at the Koru camp is Tony’s advertised “Spy Nest”. It’s underwhelming to say the least. Even if you’re not a big fan of the Spy Shack or the Spy Bunker, you can at least admire the effort that went into making them. The “Spy Nest” is… Tony climbing a tree. A decent feat of strength, to be sure, but not on the same level as the previously mentioned spy hideouts. To add insult to injury, the only person we see him encounter is Sarah, who knows that he’s there, and tells him to get down. He does, but the two still have an argument on the beach regarding the previous vote. Nick overhears this, and takes it as his cue to start whittling down the threats, and make an end-game alliance for himself. Said end-game alliance turns out to be himself, Michele, and Denise, a sort of “level playing field” as Michele calls it. Got to admit, the alliance isn’t a bad idea of any of them. Since the alliance is fundamentally anti-Tony, it gives Nick and Michele something to boast about in the endgame, while giving Denise a chance to coast, and hope her ouster of Sandra is enough to net her the win. They bring in Kim and Ben as a fourth and fifth, mostly because of also being anti-Tony. This ramps up the strategy discussion, as pretty much everyone but Jeremy and Sarah (and Tony, of course) is now on board to get rid of Tony. Nick in particular is an impressive swing. I’d have said Sarah before Tony, given who he’s blindsided and not blindsided so far. But hey, kudos to Nick for not being too tied down in this game.

This interesting strategy is then interrupted by an idol hunt. Again. Maybe the people who complain about idols have a point. At first it just seems like a Tony and Ben hunt, but then most everyone else joins in. I must admit, while this episode does not have the same humor as the last one, Nick returning to a significant knot in a tree and saying “It’ll be here one of these days.” got a chuckle out of me. We do take time out of the hunt to clarify Ben’s position on Tony. While Ben does open up a bit more to Tony, saying that Kim his after him, he doesn’t give away the whole alliance, showing that he’s willing to work with Tony, but doesn’t fully trust him. This is further proven by Ben trying to hide his idol find from Tony, which doesn’t work. Ben comes clean, and the pair celebrate, the actual reason behind the aforementioned “bridal carry”. So help me, I already used the “chocolate and peanut butter” quote for a previous blog, and the “Ozlettes” confessional is one of my favorites! I just had to use it!

Oh, right, I suppose I should explain how the chocolate and peanut butter thing plays in. Our immunity hallenge today is “When it Rains, it Pours” from “Survivor Africa”. you may remember this as the challenge where people have to stand with their hand above their head, and attached to a bucket. Falling or dropping the hand leads to a soaking, with the last person standing winning immunity, and in this case, fire tokens. Also, the last man and woman standing each win immunity Because that makes so much sense this late in the game, and in now way detracts from the victory. Still, this challenge is a classic we hadn’t seen in a while, and definitely deserving of being on an all-winners season. Shame none of the people who’d played this challenge before could play, but oh well.

Ah, but this challenge is tougher, for you see, now you cannot support yourself with your other hand! OOOH! Ok, to be fair, this definitely DOES make the challenge tougher, I just don’t think it’s quite the game changer Probst does.

Of course, this challenge is best known as one that regularly offers food temptations. Ben requests chocolate and peanut butter, though he does not go full Jenna Morasca and Heidi Strobel and offer to strip for it. Indeed, Ben misses out, with Kim and Michele stepping down. This hands Denise immunity as Sarah had previously dropped. As for the men, the temptation is there for both Nick and Tony, the two men left. Tony, however, is determined to continue his win streak, and Nick’s drop out is bought at the price of one fire token. A move he will later regret, but it’s too late to take back. This, once again, means our first episode half is almost entirely focussed on Tony, and once again, is mostly pointless. Now to be fair, this episode does do a much better job than the last one, as there ARE plot points already established that don’t specifically revolve around Tony. Jeremy and Ben’s feud, along with the formation of the Nick-Michele-Denise alliance are both such points, and both help buoy this episode up. Plus, I can’t fault the show for focussing on Tony, since he is such a big character.

Really, my issue with the Tony focus this episode is less because it makes for a bad episode or because it’s undeserved, but really because it’s a disservice to everyone else left. Look, Tony is a big character, even an enjoyable one, but to focus on him to the exclusion of others is really a detriment. As “Survivor Samoa” demonstrated, it takes more than one player to make for a good season. And while the other players have their moments in their own right, it feels at times like there’s Tony, and then there’s everyone else. Part of that is just sheer energy level. It’s hard to compete with Tony in that department. The issue is not with showing Tony. The issue is with showing him to the exclusion of everyone else. This is a LEGENDS season. These are all great players. We should be getting ALL their highlights. Despite my earlier comparison to “Survivor Samoa”, I think “Survivor Ghost Island” might be the more apt comparison here. You see, “Survivor Samoa” had a weak cast overall, so it made sense to focus more on Russell Hantz than anyone else. “Survivor Ghost Island” had an interesting cast throughout, but instead mostly focussed on Wendell and Domenick to the exclusion of all others. Again, this is a LEGENDS season. These people must be giving you some good bits. You can still show the highlights of Tony, but give us more from the others so it doesn’t just feel like “The Tony Show” all the time. Some people aren’t that big on Tony, or at least want some variety in the show. Not to mention, if you keep teasing the “Tony’s antics catch up with him plot” only for that not to happen, there’s a feeling of letdown. Further, this limits your storyline to one of two outcomes: Either Tony wins, in which case the focus on him makes sense, but makes your conclusion way too obvious (“Survivor Ghost Island” at least had the benefit of some mystery of who would win out between Domenick and Wendell), or Tony loses, and this plotline is being dragged out at the expense of the other players.

Ok, ok, rant over. There’s actually good stuff in this episode, so let’s talk about it. With Tony immune Nick and Kim admit that their plan to get him out is now “on the back burner.” As such, they must decide on a new target. Sarah would be the obvious choice, but Kim has a bond with Sarah, and so doesn’t want her to go. Thus, we default to Jeremy, who seems to be the consensus boot. Only Michele expresses any disappointment at needing to vote him out, and as she herself admits, there’s not a lot she can do. We need misdirection, though, and in comes Tony to provide. Ben opens up to Tony a bit more, and admits that Nick was in on the plan to get him out. He also says that Kim is still rallying the troops. Tony does the logical thing and checks in with Nick, who gives the worst performance of the episode, feigning a memory lapse as to why he didn’t talk to Tony. He lets his alliance know about Ben’s slip, but the damage is done. Tony wants Kim out, which he pitches to Jeremy, naturally, but also Ben and Sarah. This… is actually a really smart move on Tony’s part. While Ben is a part of Kim’s alliance, he also has somewhat of a relationship with Tony. And even if he doesn’t want to work with Tony down the road, voting out Kim would effectively give him her place in the alliance, and keep around another player (Jeremy) who can compete with Tony in challenges. If you’re Sarah, well, Tony’s your ally, and thus voting out the player continually targeting him is a good move. Unlike last episode, where there’s room for debate about whether this was a smart or a dumb on Tony’s part, this is clearly a smart. About the only person who might be upset at the ouster of Kim would be Denise, who has a history of not caring if her allies get the axe. Thus, no bridges burnt, unlike last episode.

That said, there’s only four, and Nick’s not budging on voting for Jeremy. Jeremy, for his part, tries to talk Ben around, but to no avail. Salvation seems to come in the form of Michele’s 50/50 advantage, which she gives to Jeremy. A bit of a risk, since she might need it next episode, but again, Michele doesn’t have much incentive to keep Kim around, and if it buys her another close ally (albeit one without any real power) so much the better. Whether or not Jeremy will play it is our mystery as we head off to Tribal Council. Once again, it’s a whisperfest, though one done better than the previous couple we’ve had. There are two key reasons why. One is Probst’s horse-race-like commentary as people start getting up, which was brief, but hilarious. More importantly, we actually get subtitles this time around, thus making the whispering easy to follow. We’re left in the dark on some specifics, to keep up the mystery, but we get a general sense of the movement. Tony is a bit too blaze in talking to Jeremy about doing something, which makes Kim paranoid and start double-checking with everybody. Soon Jeremy and Tony are doing the same, which leads to paranoia about a Sarah vote, and Sarah begging for an idol play. This also brings into focus that Nick and Ben are our swing votes tonight, which will help make the result clearer in a bit. Not the most exciting Tribal Council ever, but a fun, clear journey for once, and brought to a fantastic bookend with Denise shutting everyone up, in a tone that clearly says “I’m about order, and I’ve had enough of this mess.” That said I do have to dock Denise points since it does seem to piss off Jeremy.

In a contrast to our last standoff, no one actually plays an advantage. Tony announces his idol (I’d say Tony did a dumb by revealing that he has an idol, but from what I can gather from the conversations we heard, it was already public knowledge), and intends to play it for Sarah, but Sarah talks him down. Jeremy nearly plays the 50/50 advantage, even getting egged on by Tony, but decides not to. Since we saw even Michele vote for him, I figure this dooms him. Jeremy must have known something we didn’t, though, as he only receives three votes, Kim going home with five. It’s not entirely clear how it happened, but given that Nick and Ben were presented as the swing votes, I’d say they flipped to the side they were more confidant in. Tony may be chaotic, but he is good at projecting the image of confidence, and sometimes on “Survivor”, that’s enough. Kim may not have been the biggest character this season, but she was one of the titans in terms of gameplay from her first season, and that ouster deserves respect. She may never have had a foothold in this game, but like Aubry on “Survivor Game Changers” it’s impressive that she made it this far at all. She splits her three fire tokens between Denise, Sarah, and Michele. Classy.

This season is getting better, though I’m still not satisfied. We’re seeing more of the other players, but overall this still feels like “The Tony Show”. Don’t get me wrong, “The Tony Show” is definitely entertaining, but I came to see “Survivor Winners at War”. I would like to see more people than just Tony. As such, it’s time for another…

TOP 10!

Yes, I normally do “Top 5 and Bottom 5”, but this list does not lend itself to looking at the negatives well. You see, we’ve had a couple of memorable exits this season. From Adam’s “Always” to Sophie’s crotch idol, these people have had exits that stick with us. Granted, Kim’s is not winning any awards, but the next two episodes are extra long, and I’ve been mulling this subject over for a few weeks, so let’s talk about the best exits the show has ever seen.

A couple of ground-rules before we start. One exit per season. I don’t want this list to half come from the current season. “Exit” in this case will refer to anything that happens between Probst saying “I’ll read the votes” and Probst’s final words of wisdom (or fire token willing, if need be). Anything else in that area (idol plays, exit confessionals, Probst’s words of wisdom) deserve lists of their own, and thus will not be considered. Also not considered will be the context of the vote out itself. This is purely the reaction to the votes being read, and the torch snuffing. Only proper vote outs will count. No impromptu Tribal Councils, quits, or Advantagegeddons will be considered. Finally, the reaction can come from anybody, not just the person being voted out. Other than that, anything goes, including placement of the player voted out. No separate lists for first and last vote outs or anything. Let’s get things started with…

10. “No.” (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”)-First entry on the list, and already I’m cheating. Yes, technically idol plays are not considered here, and most of what makes the elimination of Scot Pollard interesting is centered around an immunity idol. That said, the idol was never actually played, and the interaction that makes this so memorable did happen in the time frame specified. With Scot and Jason being such cocky villains, seeing them taken down a peg is just so satisfying. Their looks of dejection just make this a very satisfying exit to watch. Plus, there is hilarity in seeing Probst dwarfed by a contestant. I keep it this low since it more a reaction to a lack of an idol play than a vote, but still a fun moment nonetheless.

9. “I’ve been Bamboozled!” (“Survivor All-Stars”)-From the beginning of “Survivor All-Stars”, it was clear that Richard Hatch had zero cares. He knew he wasn’t going to win, and so was just there to screw with everybody. And what better way to cap it off than with an obviously-faked over the top surprise reaction to a vote he knew was coming? The man even did a little dance on his way out of Tribal Council. Always good for bonus points. It goes a little over-the-top for my taste, but still enjoyable nonetheless.

8. “ONE MINUTE!” (“Survivor Exile Island”)-I was tempted to put the ouster of Dan from this season in this spot, but that one really requires the context of the whole episode to have meaning. Instead, we turn to Shane. Not exactly the most “stable” of contestants, you knew when Shane’s time came, it wasn’t going to go quietly. Sure enough, Shane gave us his characteristic outburst upon leaving, turning back from Probst to rub it in everyone’s faces about how he was going to be eating an ice cream bar soon. Delightfully childish, though admittedly somewhat subdued by Shane’s standards. I expected him to mock the votes as well, and this comparatively underwhelming performance prevents the admittedly memorable final line pre-torch-snuff from landing higher on the list.

7. “DAYUM!” (“Survivor China”)-In most of these cases, the longer the reaction, the better. It’s not enough in most cases to give a pre-snuff speech. You need to talk through the votes as well, or at least have a conversation. Sometimes, though, all it takes is a word, and less is more. Chicken’s “DAYUM” is one well-remembered throughout the “Survivor” fandom, and iconic enough on it’s own to need no further embellishment. Simple and clean is the way that this reaction is.

6. “At least you made the jury.” (“Survivor Cambodia”)-I’m no fan of Abi-Maria’s, but when her snark is directed at a full-of-himself Andrew Savage, I’m much more ok with her. While this is technically related to an idol play, Savage still reacted to the votes with despair, and took his eviction of very few votes with his usual grace and maturity. And by that, I mean he had a bit of a silent tantrum, even flipping off the remaining players as he left. Not very classy, but satisfying to see Savage brought so low after being so high-and-mighty most of the game. If an exit can make me like Abi-Maria, then you know it’s a good one.

5. “Two ‘B’s’ Guys” (“Survivor Thailand”)-Ah, now we get into people commenting on the votes as well as the result. Admittedly, a lot of the impact of the boot of Robb Zbacnik comes from the character development he had gotten over the course of the show. Even without it, though, there’s humor to be found in his need to call out every spelling mistake made with his name. Every. Single. Time. Apparently, the name “Robb” with two “B’s” was just too much for the Sook Jai tribe. Robb, if your reading this, take comfort in that I remembered the second “b” in your name.

4. “Sheep to the Slaughter” (“Survivor Game Changers”)-Tony is known for never shutting up. Sandra is known for never taking an insult lying down. Put these two together, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a memorable exit. Tony’s declaration of the idiocy of his tribemates is nothing new, but Sandra’s need to taunt him as he exits elevates this to a knew level. To use the old cliche, they argue like a married couple. Plus, this was the birth of “Queen stays Queen”, and it deserves respect for that.

3. “Who flipped?” (“Survivor Cagayan”)-Ah yes. Perhaps the most iconic post-vote conversation to come out of the latter half of “Survivor”. You knew Sarah’s boot was going to be on the list somewhere. Tony’s over-the-top reaction to the outcome and imitation of Spencer made this one memorable on its own, but it had so many other great moments. Sarah’s simple inquiry as to who flipped, leading to the slow realization that Kass was here for the Chaos. Spencer’s iconic “0 chance of winning the game.” remark. Kass’ flippant “There’s a lot of game left.” response. All iconic, and all worthy of a spot on this list. The only reason it isn’t higher is because it kind of leaves an unpleasant aftertaste, given the vitriol occasionally directed at Kass.

2. Penner’s Dance (“Survivor Philippines”)-Forgive me for stating the blindingly obvious, but Jonathan Penner does not take anything seriously, least of all his third exit from “Survivor”. Not content with merely mocking Probst, Penner decided to mock the music as well. Dancing his way out of Tribal Council ia always a plus, but he (badly) tried to whistle the usual music that plays over an exit. Then, just when you think he’s gone. He comes back again. And again! Hilarity! It even left Probst at a loss for words; that’s bonus points! So, what keeps it from the top spot? The way it was shot. I know shooting in the dark is hard, but it’s REALLY hard to see Penner’s dance once he gets on the trail out of Tribal Council. I only really saw the full thing in edited pictures with the exposure changed. That made it funny, but shouldn’t be necessary for full enjoyment. That said, there was also his refusal of a hug from Abi-Maria which gets my respect. And yes, this entry is why Sarah Dawson’s kiss didn’t make the list. Had I allowed multiple entries from the same season, it would have been on here for sure.

1. “Scumbags” (“Survivor Guatemala”)-Maybe it’s just my love for “Survivor Guatemala” bleeding through, but this to me is the quintessential “Pissed Off” exit. No rage. Nor breaking of things. No gnashing of teeth. Just quiet, cold fury. You don’t need to see Judd’s rage. you can feel it through your tv screen. All all delivered in the trademark Judd style. Admittedly, no “man” in there, but you can’t have everything. Still iconic nonetheless.

And with that said, it is time to end off this blog. But it is not the end for you! Once again, I’m looking to see who can figure who said the quote this blog draws its title from and the season! Simply comment the name of the person who said this quote, and on what season! First person to do so gets their username listed at the top of the blog. As a reminder, U.S. seasons only, so don’t overtax yourself, and I’ll see you next week!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: Updated Season Rankings

Happy New Year, everybody! We can hope for a lot of things in 2020, but one thing is certain: “Survivor” will air its 40th season, leading to a grand total of 20 years on the air so far. For good and for ill, and whatever problems the current incarnation of the show may have, this is no small feat. As such, it should be commemorated, making it the perfect excuse to bring you all my updated season rankings! I’d been wanting to do this for a while, so I’m very happy to present you with my subjective opinion on how each season compares to the others. Some of the answers may surprise you.

Before we begin, however, I should note a slight change from the last time I did these. Before, I divided seasons into overall categories within the rankings, and I intend to do so again. However, I’ve added a fourth category in there as well. Rather than explain to you these categories as they come up, I’m going to explain what each general category means overall, then just present the seasons in that category as we make our way up the list. In ascending order, the categories are as follows:

The Bad-Contrary to what the name might indicate, this name does not mean the seasons as a whole are bad overall. Even if they were, “Survivor” is often in another category compared to most scripted television, so even these seasons can be better than a lot of what comes on. These are just the seasons that don’t work for whatever reason, and that I really have no desire to watch again.

The Ugly-Our new category, this one was made in the wake of “Survivor Island of the Idols”. Sad though it is to say, we now have enough seasons with socially controversial elements to merit their own category. The quality of these seasons varies, and were it not for said controversial element, could end up anywhere on the list. I wouldn’t feel right putting them low on the list just because of these elements, but wouldn’t feel right putting them high because of the presence of these elements. As such, they get their own separate category that keeps them low, but acknowledges that the seasons themselves may or may not have redemptive elements.

The Good-This is pretty much standard “Survivor” fare that people would come to expect. Seasons that are not stand-out on their own, or have some sort of problem keeping them from being truly great, but are still enjoyable, and I wouldn’t mind the occasional rewatch.

The Great-As you would expect, these are the seasons that are fantastic. They elevate the game, are engaging and entertaining, or all of the above. They are legendary, the ones that to me scream “Survivor”, and that I never get tired of rewatching.

Well, with that business out of the way, let us waste no more time, and start talking about how the seasons stack up! There will, of course, be spoilers for these seasons, so tread with caution if you are not up to date on “Survivor” history.

THE BAD

39. “Survivor Edge of Extinction”: Yes, the bottom spot has finally been usurped by a recent season, after “Survivor Fiji” reigned king for so long, seemingly never to be dethroned. But for all my gripes about “Survivor Fiji”, I will at least say this: it served a purpose. There was a reason for us to follow the entire journey. The win of Chris Underwood means that this cannot be said for “Survivor Edge of Extinction”. Now, don’t misunderstand, Chris is by no means a bad winner in and of himself. He seems like a perfectly nice guy, and he did play extremely well following winning his way back into the game. Nor would I say that Chris’ win is illegitimate due to the “Edge of Extinction” twist. We as an audience may not like it, but that alone does not mean it was not a part of the game to be utilized. By all accounts, Chris utilized it well, building bonds with his fellow players there that ultimately earned him the jury vote. No, the problem that Chris’ win creates is that it makes the season retroactively pointless. Pretty much everything we see on screen that led to his win happened IN THE LAST FREAKING EPISODE! Oh, his entire game up until that point HAD an impact on his victory, but since “Edge of Extinction” got maybe 5 minutes out of an episode, and most of that devoted to the scavenger hunt of the day, we never got to see it. That makes “Survivor Edge of Extinction” pointless to watch. If I can get everything I need to know about the season out of the last episode, why should I bother to watch it. Even if you’re generous and say that you need to watch the first three episodes where Chris was in the game, that’s still only about 1/3 of the episodes that actually contribute to the overall story. Look, I get that the producers were in a bit of a spot with “Edge of Extinction”. They couldn’t show us too much of it, for fear that it would give away that someone returning to the game would win, but by not showing us enough, we don’t really follow what Chris did to win. Rather than feeling like a journey to the end, this season felt like it was a waste of time. I could complain about other aspects of this season that really did it no favors. Everything from how Chris had no risk in his game while on “Edge of Extinction” to the emphasis on returnees and Rick Devans at the expense of pretty much everyone else, to even the underwhelming challenges, but really, the pointlessness says it all for me. If 2/3 of your episodes don’t contribute to your story, what’s the point in me watching them?

38. “Survivor Fiji”: Just because this season has had it’s long standing title of “Worst season ever” usurped doesn’t mean my opinion of it has gone up. It’s just that the winner did have to be at risk for most of the game, and did have a journey we got to follow, so by definition it is not the worst. But MAN, does this season have issues. I’m willing to forgive a poor twist idea (such as the Outcasts from “Survivor Pearl Islands”) if it was an obvious idea that had to be tried at least once, but “Haves vs. Have-Nots” was not such a twist. It was a dumb question no one asked, but had an obvious answer: the Haves will kick the butt of the Have-Nots because people who aren’t starving and dehydrated tend to be better competitors than those who are. But that alone is not “Survivor Fiji”’s only problem. The cast, as a whole, is forgettable. With the exception of one or two names, I really can’t remember who was on this season. As you’d imagine, this is not a good thing. Yau-Man is really the only person I would say who stands out from the cast, and he was so obviously marketed as the breakout star of the cast that I just had an adverse reaction to him on principle. But the kicker for me, though, is the manner of eviction for Michelle Yi, which I would argue is the most unfair eviction in “Survivor” History. If you’re going to do a Tribal Council with no strategizing beforehand, fine. Not a huge fan of the idea, but I can understand the principle. But then, don’t immediately throw out the idea by having a line of questioning DESIGNED to make a target clear to everyone. Ugh, Michelle may not be the person I most want to see play again, but I’d argue she’s the most deserving of a second chance. The cherry on top of an already terrible sundae that is this season.

37. “Survivor Redemption Island”: Lots of fans have this as the worst season ever, and frankly, I have a hard time arguing against the idea. While I don’t think much on “Survivor” is sacrosanct, I am of the opinion that the doctrine of “Once the decision is made, the decision is final.” is, and should therefore not be violated. Any season with a theme centered around violating this doctrine is on my bad side automatically. This season is not helped by the fact that the returnees, Boston Rob and Russell, were clearly designed to dominate this season. The twist favored them, and a lot of the cast favored them as well, to the point that, even though the season was not pointless, it felt that way, since the victory of Boston Rob was presented as just that inevitable. It’s a slog to get through, there’s no denying that, but apart from “Redemption Island” itself, there’s no production aspect that makes me want to tear my hear out. Plus, we get to see Russell finally voted out, and be very ungracious about it as well, which is a minor redemptive factor no season on this list has so far.

36. “Survivor One World”: Similar to “Survivor Redemption Island”, the big flaw here is just that one person so dominates the show that there’s no mystery as to who the victor is. Kim Spradlin is my first correct winner guess, though that’s not saying much, considering she was leagues ahead of pretty much everyone else on the season in terms of gameplay. Like Boston Rob, she dominated to the point where there was no enjoyment, since the outcome was virtually a given from the beginning. The fact that it was fresh blood dominating, rather than someone on their fourth try, made it somewhat more impressive, and the lack of “Redemption Island” also helped make the season slightly better. I’ll even say that I like the idea of the “One World” twist, and think it needs another shot. Really, the drawback this time was the reuse of the “gender division” twist, since it created such animosity that the tribes didn’t work together to build one camp. I get that it made it easier to remember who was on what tribe, but that’s what buffs are for. Try it again with mixed-gender tribes, I say. You might get different results. As it stands, “Survivor One World” gave us the rise of a great strategist, but that’s about it. Plus, Colton Cumbie. There’s another mark in the “minus” column.

35. “Survivor Nicaragua”: Unlike the first three entries on this list, there was nothing about “Survivor Nicaragua” that made it have to be this bad. Granted, like “Haves vs. Have Nots” twist, this season dividing the tribes by age had an obvious outcome (the young kick the butt of the old), but was an obvious idea that had to be tried at least once. The cast was not inherently unexciting either. However, unpleasantness quickly crept into the season, with the contestant with a prosthetic leg getting picked on, and a lot of bullying in general. When you have two members of the dominant alliance quit nearly 30 days into the season, though, you’re in trouble. Whatever the behind-the-scenes reasons may be, the fact is that to the audience, it looked like they wimped out, especially when the left on the heels of the major strategists of the season getting eliminated. The event was awful, but the timing was worse. Culminating in frankly an idiot winning out in the end, this season basically just collapsed in on itself, and is really disappointing, given its potential.

34. “Survivor Samoa”: Do you like Russell Hantz? No? Well too bad, because that’s all you’re getting! Innovative though he was to the game (idol hunting without a clue wasn’t a thing before him), the fact is that it’s hard for one character alone to carry a season. Note the failure of seasons like “Survivor One World” and “Survivor Redemption Island”, who also had one character dominate above others. When that character is Russell Hantz, who is, shall we say, controversial, you’ve got an issue with your season. I’m not saying that Russell shouldn’t have been prominent, since he was a major driving force of the season. I’m saying that he shouldn’t have been so to the exclusion of the other players. Can you actually remember anything about any of the other players of the season? Apart from Russell Swan nearly dying, and Shambo being random, I’m guessing not. Some characters will rise to prominence above others, but “Survivor”, at its core, is an ensemble show. When you don’t have that, the season just fails. I will give credit, though, that this season does have something for everyone. If you like Russell, this is the season for you. If, like me, you hate him, the season is nearly impossible to get through, but that comeuppance at the end is oh so sweet.

THE UGLY

33. “Survivor Game Changers”: When I was putting seasons into this new category, I had to decide whether to rank these seasons as seasons, or based on how awful their controversial element was. To a greater or lesser degree, all these seasons are defined by their awful element, but in the end, I felt it would be a disservice not to talk about the season as a whole. And man, even without the whole Varner/Zeke incident, this season did not have legs, and I’m not even talking about the usual complaints. I for one, while not happy with the boot order, did not find it as awful as others did, and I even forgive Advantagegeddon to a certain degree. True, I wish that production put in less idols and advantages, but to be fair, people had chances to play most of them beforehand, and at least one play was based on social manipulation (Aubry had to convince Tai to play an idol for her, after all). Still, production is largely to blame for what makes this season so weak overall. The editing is garbage, making certain characters, including one of the final three, all but invisible, ON A RETURNEE SEASON! THIS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN ON A RETURNEE SEASON! For production’s second sin, we have the twists. In my opinion, returnee seasons should have the FEWEST twists of any other season, since returning players alone should be a draw. Maybe add ONE new game-shake-up in order to keep them on their toes, but no more than that. Instead, every two or three episodes, something new came in that the players had never dealt with before. What this led to was an unstable season. No status quo could be set up, thus giving the shake-up less impact and making the season hard to follow. And, if our favorites aren’t going to get as much screentime, why should we follow it?

32. “Survivor Worlds Apart”: I almost didn’t put this season in this category, since the controversial element is borderline at best. However, when I think back on this season, what I remember is the bullying of Shirin, and in particular the comments made by Will Sims II. While maybe not to the same scale as some of these other issues, to me, bullying is up there with some of the worst offenses, and so it goes on this list. The season as a whole? Not great. There were big characters, certainly, but most of them were more unpleasant than anything, which is not something we want to watch, as a whole. The strategy was mediocre at best, and the “Collars” twist was forced and added nothing to the show. Mike winning his way to the end via immunity was a nice novelty, but again, not the most compelling television, and unfortunately I think the network was staking a lot of the goodwill towards the season on people liking him. Mike wasn’t the worst, but he had his cocky moments, and so never really fully fit the “hero” archetype. There wasn’t really any one big problem with “Survivor Worlds Apart”, but the general unpleasantness with nothing to distract from it just drags down the season as a whole.

31. “Survivor Thailand”: “Survivor Thailand” is a bit of an oddity for me. I love the aesthetic, and I love just how thoroughly winner Brian Heidik dominated the game. It has that “classic era” feel that just makes me want to love it. But the fact is that “Grindgate” is the main thing that comes to mind when one thinks of this season, and the politics over how it was resolved were controversial at the time. In the modern day? Downright insulting. Our first straight Pagonging since “Survivor Borneo” didn’t help things either. The cast overall was pretty cool, but a lot of the more interesting players went before the jury phase, and again, the outcome was so obvious that it made the season more of a slog than a journey. A slow trek through the slime few would want to take again.

30. “Survivor All-Stars”: Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I think people are a bit hard on this season. As someone who had only seen “Survivor Borneo”, “Survivor The Australian Outback”, and “Survivor Pearl Islands” before this season aired, this season got me pumped to find out about the players I had never seen before, and it was refreshing to see my favorites back again. I think a lot of people’s problem is that they try and judge this season as if it were any other season of “Survivor”. I try to judge it as a tribute to the previous seven seasons, and it fits a lot better. The producers throw a lot of things at the players, but no so much that it overwhelms seeing them again, and a lot of the design tributes and challenge tributes work very well. That said, this season has fallen the farthest of any season since my previous rankings, and it’s all due to how uncomfortable this season can be. Apart from people taking things EXTREMELY personally, there’s the fact that the Richard/Sue incident at the immunity challenge before Richard’s elimination has REALLY not aged well, and is a highlight of how producers mishandled such situations even back then. A fun tribute, but little else going for it.

29. “Survivor Island of the Idols”: For me, this is the season hurt the most by its controversy. This season was never going to be a top-tier season, just due to how disjointed the post-merge game was, but it had a lot going for it. The cast as a whole was well-developed and likable, with a good mix of characters and strategists. The pre-merge was incredibly exciting, with nary a boring episode in the lot. Even the “Island of the Idols” twist wasn’t too bad, and occasionally even brought some much-needed levity to the episodes. I applaud the producers for not over-using the idea. That said, the producers must now be lambasted by their overall poor handling of the Kellee/Dan situation. True, they got better by the time of the reunion, but the fact remains that, when we think back on this season, we’ll think back on the controversy, which is just not fun to think about. I hope this cast comes back for better seasons, since they do deserve it. As it stands, I cannot rank the season higher than this.

THE GOOD

28. “Survivor San Juan del Sur”: “Survivor San Juan del Sur” is a weird one for me. It’s just kind of there. Not bad enough for me to dislike it, but not good enough to produce strong feelings for me. Every good point is counterbalanced by a bad point. We reused the “Blood vs. Water” twist, but also got the return of “Exile Island”. We had a decently exciting pre-merge, but then one of the worst merges ever with an anticlimactic quit. We lost our two big strategists right after the merge, and got the equivalent of wonder bread to lead us through most of the post-merge, but ended with an above-average winner. I do think it is the rise of Jon “Wonder Bread” Misch that prevents this season being higher for me, and I still feel that Jeremy’s eviction was unfair from a viewer standpoint, with not enough foreshadowing to feel earned. That said, would I call this a bad season? Not really. There’s nothing to hate about it, but I just can’t find myself able to muster any other reaction than “Eh, it was ok.” I will say I like that on a season where the women were numerically disadvantaged due to a last-minute medical pull, it was three women in the end regardless, but other than that, this season fails to stand out. In a sense, it’s damned by faint praise, but it’s not bad either.

27. “Survivor South Pacific”: On paper, this one should be around the “Survivor Redemption Island” area of this list. It has many of the same hallmarks: Returnees dominating the game, and the return of “Redemption Island”. However, what saves this season for me is the cast. Yes, there’s a lot of blind loyalty to the returnees, but these people are better at thinking for themselves, to the point where the returnees actually don’t win in the end. Plus, they’re just damn entertaining. For good and for ill, they stand out more as characters and strategists that seasons further down on the list, and that just makes for a more fun watch as a whole. Mind you, the problems I mentioned above are still problems, but this season gets a reaction from me, which is more than I can say for “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, thus putting it here on the list.

26. “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”: This is another season that’s difficult to talk about. Like “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, I can’t say much of it stands out, but unlike that season or “Survivor South Pacific”, I can’t say there’s anything I can particularly complain about this season. Yeah, the theme is a little forced, but that’s hardly something I can complain about, and while I don’t like Final Four Firemaking, I’m not going to blame this season just because something I don’t like was introduced in it. I know a lot of people complain about Ben’s win, and while I personally would have like the see Chrissy get a bit more respect, I’m of the opinion that the blame largely lies with the rest of the cast who, from what we saw, knew about Ben’s idol hunting but did nothing to stop him. And even if you don’t like him as a winner, Ben is at least a nice guy to have get the money. This season came and went, without leaving much of an impact, and was pretty much just another standard “Survivor” season.

25. “Survivor Marquesas”: If this were a list of the most historically important seasons, “Survivor Marquesas” would be near the top. I mean, the first totem-pole shake-up? How cool is that? And yes, “Survivor Marquesas” has a lot of interesting things happen in it. If only it happened to engaging characters. Oh, don’t misunderstand me, “Survivor Marquesas” has some great characters. Kathy is deservedly one of the all-time greats, and I maintain that it is a crime that Sean Rector hasn’t yet returned to the show. But the fact is, the vast majority of the interesting players were voted out pre-jury. Big things happened, but did not happen to players we much cared about. On top of that, while I haven’t been commenting on it much, visual aesthetic goes a long way for me in terms of making a season memorable. Most early seasons do well, but “Survivor Marquesas” is the exception. It’s just another South Pacific Island chain that doesn’t really distinguish itself from all the other seasons set on other South Pacific Island chains. Again, nothing bad about it per se, but it’s more of a plot-driven season than a character-driven season, and is all the less interesting for it.

24. “Survivor Exile Island”: While the theme of this season was also not the strongest, the atmosphere was. People tend to forget, since the twist became commonplace quickly, but Exile Island was really intimidating when it first came up, and no one knew what it was. That atmosphere prevails throughout the season, and serves to help it stand out in one’s memory. While the pre-merge is nothing to write home about, the post-merge gives us a fantastic story line, with Casaya’s repeated attempts to oust Terry Deitz. There was no real “villain” here, since there were legitimate reasons to root for either Terry or the Casayas. This kept the show engaging up until the end, and while not all of the cast was a big hit, it gave us some long-time memorable characters, including the aforementioned Terry, plus the likes of Cirie and Shane. It’s by no means legendary, but definitely has a lot to recommend it.

23. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Dividing the tribes by race was, shall we say, an ill-conceived idea, but one that was obvious enough that I won’t count it against this season. As a consequence of having the largest cast at the time (“Survivor Palau” also had 20 players to start with, but eliminated 3 in the first episode, which this season did not), a lot of players fell by the wayside, which is why the season is no higher. But this season, more than any other, exemplified the underdog story, with the Aitu Four managing to beat the odds and make it to the finals together. Seeing Godfather Yul’s masterful gameplay was a joy to watch, and I have little time for people saying his win was due to the then-overpowered Hidden Immunity Idol. Yes, it was a help to him, but Yul was able to use it as an effective threat, which not just anyone can do. The occasional Cao Boi, Flicka, and Ozzy help provide some moments of levity to the season, and an engaging underdog story make this season definitely one worth another watch.

22. “Survivor Ghost Island”: People tend to underrate this season, in my mind. I think the problem is that a lot of people quickly grew tired with the “Ghost Island” twist, though of better ways to do it, and were upset that these weren’t what the show went with. Fair enough, but if you stop thinking about what it could have been, and just look at what is, the twist isn’t that bad. The show was fairly conservative with adding in idols and advantages, and did keep things suitably ominous. As to the show as a whole? I won’t deny that the post-merge really brought this season down, since it was incredibly obvious that no one was going to stop the Domenick/Wendell pairing. That said, we had one of the more-exciting pre-merges, and while it was clear that either Domenick or Wendell would win, it wasn’t clear which of them would win, keeping at least some mystery up until the end. Maybe if you weren’t a big fan of either Domenick or Wendell it got grating, but as someone who really liked Wendell’s gameplay, it was a fun enough watch, even if I did wish for some better competition. The merge as a whole may not have been that great, especially since a lot of the bigger characters went out early, and some of the late game players were practically invisible, but the first tied final vote in “Survivor” history made for a solid and enjoyable finale for me. Not a perfect season by any stretch, but there are a lot more good points here than people give credit for.

21. “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X”: Conversely, this is a season I think gets overrated in a lot of people’s rankings. Don’t get me wrong: the cast overall is solid, and it has decent mystery as to the winner throughout. What really does this in for me is the theme. “Survivor” as a whole was really stretching for themes at this point, and this one in particular irked me. Both generations seemed to get high and mighty about their supposed superiority, and pretty much all the cast tried to force it into at least one confessional they had, which just irritates me. Add onto that the prominence of “dude-bros” a character type I’m not particularly fond of, and some low-key bullying in places, particularly of David, and this is not a season I’m likely to be super-fond of. That said, I cannot deny that this season has good points. Characters are more hits and misses overall, there’s some good strategy to be found, and most important, there’s no obvious winner. Hints are there, but up until the Final Tribal Council, you have no idea what the outcome will be, which goes for to keeping one engaged with the season, which is a major victory that keeps the season this high.

20. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Aesthetic is the big thing that saves this season. There’s a number of good characters, some decent strategy for the early days, and a generally likable cast as a whole (Jerri Manthey at the time notwithstanding). But my God, from a modern standpoint, this season is predictable. There’s basically no shakeups, and everything just goes on in what is effectively a Pagonging from there on out. Not exactly compelling tv. So, why do I have this season this high? Frankly, it’s memorable. The cast is a big part of that, but above all else, those locales and those challenges stick in your mind. It may not be the best season of “Survivor”, but it sticks in your mind, which to me counts for a lot, and in this case elevates a lot of the more mediocre elements this season can bring.

19. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”: This may be the most controversial call yet on this list. “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” is a lot of people’s favorite season of all time, and there’s clearly a reason why. This season has arguably the most exciting pre-merge the show has ever had, with underdog stories, idol plays, blindsides, and crazy moves all around. But it’s time for me to codify something I’ve been hinting at with some of my other judgments so far: Not every part of a season is created equal. While I’ll obviously take a season with good elements over bad, the fact is that an exciting post-merge is much more important than an exciting pre-merge. I can get through a boring pre-merge if I know I’ve got exciting things coming down the road, but a season that peaks early makes it hard to go on afterward. And for all the greatness that is the “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains” pre-merge, the post-merge, to me, is AWFUL! Oh, the merge itself is exciting, with the culmination of J.T.’s failure, but afterwards it just becomes the “Russell Hantz” show again, which after having a season full of that, I’m not ready to watch again. This is the only season where I’ve given up in the middle of a rewatch. The post-merge is just so frustrating, with Russell in such an easy position to be taken down, yet it doesn’t happen, that I couldn’t keep it up, and quit around Amanda’s boot. That said, this season is redeemed slightly by Sandra getting the last laugh, and again, that pre-merge is prime quality. Sadly for this season, for me, the quality is not where it needs to be. Plus, I felt it could have done more as a tribute season. Reused challenges and acknowledging players making it 100+ days is nice, but I could have done with them going more all-out in terms of call-backs.

18. “Survivor Caramoan”: Adding onto the blasphemy, I’ve now put a lot of people’s least-favorite season above a lot of people’s favorite season, and again my “Post-merge matters more” perspective comes into play here. I won’t deny, the pre-merge of “Survivor Caramoan” is garbage. Asshole characters like Shamar, and annoying characters like Phillip “Special Agent?” Shephard dominate, and unlike the previous “Fans vs. Favorites”, things don’t seem as evenly matched between the tribes. Plus, the less said about Brandon Hantz, the better. But that post-merge, man! A lot of the fat gets trimmed, and we get some fantastic strategizing, culminating in a great bookend to the story-arc of John Cochran. Plus, the invention of live Tribal Councils courtesy of Malcom Freberg. Yes, the reunion show was a mess, and Dawn deserved more respect, but it doesn’t take away from the engagement and excitement that is the machinations of the merged tribe. Controversial, but if you can get though the first part of the season, it really has some legs.

17. “Survivor Blood vs. Water”: This season brought us an innovative concept that worked out really well. This is probably the best season in terms of putting up first time players against returnees, in and of that the new players seemed to be of the same caliber of play as the returnees, and if Ciera had just timed things a bit better, or the rock draw had gone differently, might have won. There’s not as much mystery as on some seasons, but the outcome is not set in stone either, so the season has decent engagement overall. Some good moves, a lot of good characters, so why isn’t this season higher? Well, there’s two things about this season that stop me from putting it any higher. Apart from the rock draw, there’s not really a moment that stands out from this season, and the moves and boot order tend to blend together. I do like moments from this season, but just can’t recall them as easily as I could an iconic season. The big problem, however, is “Redemption Island”. Yes, it is better in this incarnation than in previous ones, due to how it played on the family dynamics, and how far people would go for their loved one. But the fact remains that “Redemption Island” as a twist takes up too much time, and violates the “Once the decision is made, the decision is final” doctrine. It’s the difference between eating a manure sandwich, and eating a manure sandwich with cheese. The latter is better, certainly, but still not good. I cannot, in good conscience, put a season with “Redemption Island” as a mainstay twist any higher than this.

16. “Survivor China”: “Survivor China” is a season that keeps going up every time I do these rankings. I appreciate the season a lot more on rewatch than I did the first time, seeing all the little jokes and side moments I missed. The location is good and distinctive as well, with a solid theme, though I will say the challenges took a massive dip in quality post-merge, which is a slight mark against it. There’s also a lot of dramatic moments, from Jamie playing a fake idol to James getting voted out with two idols, to Todd’s fantastic Final Tribal Council performance. Many would say this deserves to be in the “Great” category, and I did debate putting this and the next season in that category. So what keeps it out? Again, this season has two flaws that for me hold it back. My main objection is Todd. He’s a great winner, with again one of if not the best Final Tribal Council performance ever, but he was really broadcast as the winner from the get-go. Even as someone relatively new to “Survivor” at the time, I could tell Todd was being set up to win, and wasn’t surprised when he did. This lack of mystery makes the later episodes in particular hard to get through at times. My second objection is, I’ll admit, subjective, but I REALLY don’t care for Courtney. I know a lot of people find her funny, but she really doesn’t do it for me. I think my thing is that insult comedy is fine, but you have to insult yourself as much, if not more so, than other people. Apart from maybe one or two cracks about her weight, Courtney just seems to go after the flaws of others, which does not win me over. What, you think you don’t stink sometimes? I did actually debate putting this season in the “Ugly” category, since even if I don’t like Courtney, she did not deserve the treatment she got from Jean-Robert, but given that it was limited to nighttime cuddling, I think it’s borderline enough to stay our of that category, but only just.

15. “Survivor Kaoh Rong”: Yes, even the season that gave us my all-time favorite player can’t break into the “Great” category. Even so, there’s a lot to love about this season. A lot of big characters, a good guy/bad guy dynamic that keeps people invested, and one of the most even Final Threes, in my opinion, we’ve ever had in terms of how they played the game. While I don’t care for them reusing a season theme, this one at least made sense, and wasn’t as forced as others. This season works particularly well in light of the trends of modern “Survivor”. Apart from being one of the lasts seasons to not be overloaded with twists, the big moment of this season, Aubry convincing Tai not to save Scot, comes from pure social manipulation, which is both fascinating and refreshing to see in this day and age. From Debbie to Aubry to Tai, there’s a lot to love about this season. Some might say it’s low for all the medevacs, and that’s a mark against it, but that’s not the main thing keeping it out of the “Great” category. No, this season could very easily have been one of the greats, but the editors screwed the pooch on this one. Based on the season we saw, Aubry should have won over Michele. Now, before you go on with your angry comments, I am NOT saying Michele didn’t deserve her win. Michele played a fantastic game, and certainly the one the jury needed to see. She earned her win, plain and simple, and I say that as an Aubry fan over here. The problem is that the show never justified WHY Michele deserved to win above Aubry. Post game interviews tell us that Aubry made social gaffes, and Michele was tight with everyone, but the show didn’t highlight that. It instead highlighted Aubry’s triumphs, and minimized her few mistakes that she did make. I get that Michele’s game may not have been exciting enough to show on its own, but show us Aubry’s spots. Show us her flaws in greater detail. Leave out the “There’s as much brawn in her as there is in me.” type confessionals, and put in ones where people talk about how they don’t like Aubry. The jury made the right decision for them, and to the internet community, I point out that it is possible for BOTH Aubry and Michele to have played good game, and saying one played well does not mean the other played poorly. But the editors didn’t let us see that, and so the season, while still good overall, has an unsatisfying end.

THE GREAT

14. “Survivor Gabon”: If it weren’t for the new category, and “Survivor All-Stars” needing to go in it, this season would probably have fallen the furthest in my season rankings since the start. While I have a soft spot for this season, I can see the flaws on rewatch. This season is an INCREDIBLY slow start, with people making stupid decisions and not much going on. Most of the big characters are kept around for the merge, though, and it’s around that time that things start to pick up. Really, I’d say the double-Tribal Council is where things get good. Ace made a decent early villain, but he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. His elimination, however, gave rise to one of my favorite storylines in the show’s history: The Rise and Fall of Ken Hoang. True, “Survivor Gabon” may not have had the greatest strategy in the history of forever, but I hate it when people say the show had no strategy whatsoever this season. Look at Ken. Look at his manipulations. He went from a position of no power to RUNNING the game, and even managed to be likable on a season where no one liked anyone else. Yes, he got cocky and did himself in, which made the finale as a whole lackluster, but he admits this flaw and has learned from it. I still say it’s a crime he’s never been brought back. I can see people being turned off by how hateful the season can seem, but personally, I saw the arguments as more coming from people who were misanthropic rather than hateful, which makes a big difference to me. Add into that a distinctive location, and you’ve got a season that needs more love. Don’t get me wrong, the front half is a slog, but that back half is well worth it.

13. “Survivor Philippines”: This and next season fall into a small subcategory I call “Technical Perfection”, wherein a season has no flaws, it just doesn’t excite me. “Survivor Philippines” does nothing wrong. Abi-Maria sticks around a bit longer than I’d like, but it crosses the line into funny at some point. Penner isn’t as funny as his previous appearances, but also plays probably his best strategic game. Russell Swan and the Matsing tribe have a great early story-arc, though this means the season kind of peaks too early. On the whole, I really have nothing bad to say about the season, and it does nothing wrong, but it doesn’t stick in my mind. Like “Survivor Blood vs. Water”, it just kind of blends together for me. Technical perfection means I have to put it in this category, but lack of memorability means I put it no higher than this.

12. “Survivor David vs. Goliath”: I get why people generally like this one better than I do. It was going to be a good season based on cast alone, with a lot of memorable new characters that were fun to watch as well as decent strategy, but when it’s sandwiched between “Survivor Ghost Island” and “Survivor Edge of Extinction” two seasons that have been generally poorly received, makes it look even better. Perhaps because I liked “Survivor Ghost Island” more than others, I’ve never been as bullish on this season, though the positives are still quite positive. People like Gabby, Christian, and Lyrsa are some all-time great characters I look forward to seeing back, and even some of the quieter players like Carl have their good moments. Similar to “Survivor Philippines”, though, a lot of the season and its boot order blend together for me. Plus, I just don’t like the theme. It feels forced, and gives an edge to the “Davids” in the end, since they become the underdogs. Still, apart from a forced theme this season does what it needs to do, and does it well. While I say it all blends together, there are one or two stand out moments, such as the idol nullifier play, that spring to mind when I think of this season, so I put it higher than “Survivor Philippines”, but that’s the only reason.

11. “Survivor Palau”: “Survivor Palau” is an oddity on this list, in that I put it high up despite rewatch value being very low. Seeing Ulong get decimated the first time is fun, but seeing it afterward is not. It just becomes a slog, and then seeing Tom dominate is a similar deal. Once again, though, theme saves it. Such dominance feels appropriate for a season themed around WWII, and this season goes all-out in the aesthetic. The challenges are fantastic, some of the choices made (particularly in the first immunity challenge) fascinating, and this season has a lot of oddball moments that stand out. Those are probably this season’s two greatest strengths: It’s fun to watch, and it stands out. That alone earns it a spot in this category.

10. “Survivor Borneo”: Ranking this season is always tough. It stands out and is memorable and enjoyable, but for very different reasons than most other seasons. Only Richard Hatch was really playing what we’d call a recognizable game today, and it can get old, particularly in the pre-merge, with how naive these people seem compared to the game we know today. It shows how we got here, but doesn’t do as much on its own to recommend it. That said, the impactful moments of the season, like Jenna not getting a video from home, and especially Gretchen’s boot, still have a major impact even in this jaded day and age. I have no nostalgia blinders for this season, having gotten into the show later, so I’m not as high on this season as some, but as a microcosm of early “Survivor”, as well as a fascinating case study, this season definitely deserves a spot amongst the greats.

9. “Survivor The Amazon”: This was another season that nearly ended up in the “Ugly” category. Man, those sexual politics have not aged well. Nothing close to a sex-crime or anything, but the men do not come off looking good here, and really, the season only avoids my wrath for this because the women get the better of the men in the end. Leaving that aside, “Survivor The Amazon” is a fun season, plain and simple. Rob Cesternino is, of course, our main source of comedy, and his “Casey Kasem” voting confessional is matched in humor only by Wendell’s anti-Chris Noble rant on “Survivor Ghost Island”. That said, most others on this season are no slouch either, providing some good moments of levity that help to make this season both fun and distinct. There’s even some good character arcs, with Matthew’s evolution in particular being a fun watch for me. There’s a lot of good strategists here as well, and I’m still amazed that Deena in particular has never come back. With all that said, this season does land this low because a lot of the gender humor is uncomfortable in this day and age, and the guys really do look like jackasses, but if you can look past that, this season is one of the funniest the show has ever had, and all the funnier for it.

8. “Survivor Tocantins”: This season brings us another fun underdog story, and one of the most lopsided victories ever. Seeing the Jalapao three work the cracks in the old Timbira was just a joy to go through, and seeing just how dominant J.T. would be, to the point of people STILL IN THE GAME saying they would rather he win than themselves, was a fascinating journey. Even J.T.’s subsequent abysmal performances can’t diminish his accomplishments here. Many people point to the humor of this season, but it doesn’t do it for me. Coach I found more annoying than funny, and similar to Courtney, Tyson just doesn’t do it for me, though in this case it’s more the over-reliance on sex humor than an unwillingness to make fun of himself that I dislike about Tyson. That said, a distinct location and a fun and engaging story help elevate this season, and with no controversial elements, it’s fair for the season to land this high.

7. “Survivor Vanuatu”: This season was unappreciated in its time, and I can definitely understand why. While there were subtle hints as to where it was going, it was tough to follow on first watch, and didn’t stand out as much as previous seasons. Opposite to “Survivor Palau”, however, this season THRIVES on being rewatched. Seeing all the little moments that led to Chris’ surprise victory over the women’s alliance makes this season a fascinating detective story, and the sheer ludicrousness of the guy who lost the first challenge winning the game is the stuff of legends. We also got some great new female characters and strategists, with Ami in particular a standout. Maybe the location was a bit generic, but the volcanos were a nice touch, and they added a few elements you wouldn’t find on other seasons. Between the spiritual stone and the pig they got at tree mail, they did their level best to make this not just another island season. With probably the best detective story the show’s ever had, this season deserves a rewatch, if you haven’t in a while.

6. “Survivor Africa”: If you’re looking for a distinctive season, this one is for you. You see even one screenshot, you know this is “Survivor Africa”. I hear a lot of people say this wasn’t as good as the first two seasons before it, but I wholeheartedly disagree. It kept the heart of the early seasons, with people moralizing a bit more, while still having some good strategic shakeups. We had our first thrown challenge (in with some of the best challenges the show has ever seen), our first tribe swap, and our first winner we could like. Seriously, if you’re not at least a casual fan of Ethan, you have no soul. Lex’s paranoia and gut make for a fun storyline, and getting to see the countryside on rewards like the goat reward or the AIDS supplies reward make this a season unlike any other. Good combats evil, good triumphs. What don’t people like about this season again.

5. “Survivor Guatemala”: I’ll admit, this is the season where my nostalgia blinders come on. This is the season that got me into “Survivor”, and I think it still holds up. Great location, great underdog story with Danni (so glad to see her back on the upcoming season), memorable characters in the likes of Judd, Gary, and Rafe, and even a fun bit of lore with the “car curse” getting acknowledged by the show in-universe. Yes, it’s not my number one season, since we do lose a lot of good people in the pre-merge, but what we’ve got is still solid throughout. People say this season ruined Stephenie, but I think it was more “Survivor Palau” that gave us an unrealistically heroic depiction of her. Yes, she was the hero that survived all of Ulong, but it’s not as though she didn’t TRY and be devious with her tribe. They were just so incompetent that she couldn’t be. For instance, when it was down to her, Bobby Jon, and Ibrehim, when Bobby Jon waffled on whether he would keep her or not, she tried to blindside him with Ibrehim. The only reason we have the Stephenie/Bobby Jon pairing people love so much these days is because Ibrehim was non-committal as well. Stephenie has always been somewhat villainous, she just didn’t get a chance to show it. Disappointing perhaps for the people who put her up on a pedestal, but in my opinion, a good story for a good season. It needs more love.

4. “Survivor Cagayan”: When watching a season of “Survivor”, you generally want the show to have both good characters and good strategists. This season brought both, often in the same people, and that’s what makes it so great. For good or for ill, everyone came to play, and whether they played well or not, they played hard. This made for an impactful week-to-week story, and with players being willing to shake things up, not the most predictable one either. Most people sing the praises of this season, so there’s little need for me to do so as well. Only the presence of the super idol, and Tony’s game getting more credit than it deserves (I’m not convinced there was a method to his madness; I think his strategy was more “throw it at the wall and see what sticks”, which just happened to work this time) keep it from being higher, but it remains a top-tier season nonetheless.

3. “Survivor Pearl Islands”: Another classic. If you want a season with a memorable theme, look no further than this. “Survivor Pearl Islands” kept up the aesthetic with the set dressings and challenges, but actually incorporated the theme into the game as well. There was a treasure hunt, the looting of a town, and the robbing of another tribe’s camp. Mind you, there was also the Outcast twist. I don’t mind it as much as some, as it was an obvious idea that had to be tried, but it does bring down the season slightly. But that cast! With the possible exceptions of “Survivor Borneo” and “Survivor The Australian Outback”, this may be the most iconic cast we’ve ever had. Sandra. Jonny Fairplay. Savage. Freaking RUPERT! All from here, and all bring big personality to make for both a fun and memorable season.

2. “Survivor Cambodia”: For a season this late in the timeline to make it nearly to the number one spot, it has to be good. In a smart move by producers, we effectively picked the cast this season, meaning we had a buy-in that other returnee seasons may not have had. But that wouldn’t have been enough if the cast gave us nothing, but they did. The name of the game here is strategy. I’ll admit, it’s not as character-driven as other seasons, but it makes up for that by giving us some of the most in-depth strategy talk the show ever had. While “voting blocks” could get old for how much they used the term, the fact remains that alliances shifted week to week helped keep the show exciting and engaging through to the end. Throw in great returning challenges and a more distinctive new location than before, and you’ve got the makings of a legendary season. So, why not number one? Well, good as the season is, I would say the pre-merge stories are more engaging than the post-merge stories, largely due to the pre-merge having smaller tribes, making things easier to follow. The post-merge is still good, but it’s an overall downward trajectory, as opposed to our number one season, which had an upward trajectory.

1. “Survivor Micronesia”: What can I say, this season is legendary? People like to mock how lopsided the show was in favor of the returnees, but I’d say a big strength of this season was how good the fans could be. True, there were some idiots, but a lot of the fans actually went toe-to-toe with the favorites, and could have won if not for luck. Amanda doesn’t find the idol at Final 5, and Natalie or Alexis probably wins the season. But, of course, the big draw of this season is the shocking moments. I’m not going to say the Black Widow Brigade was the best alliance ever, but damn if they didn’t pull off some improbable moves. Erik giving up immunity alone probably lands it a spot on this list, but 16 seasons on a show that formerly had 16 castaways, with a trivia competition based on the show near the end, with returning players, some of the most iconic of the past 9 seasons? This is the stuff of legend, culminating in the first ever unisex final episode. Every rewatch just gets better and better, and that, to me, makes it a season deserving of a number one spot.

Well, there you have it. As I say, this is a subjective list, so feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Otherwise, I’ll see you next month for “Survivor Winners at War”!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Island of the Idols” Episode 3: The Bystander Effect

This episode feels no need for preamble before starting the action, so neither do I! Quite honestly, these lines are only here so that people seeing a preview online don’t get accidentally spoiled on anything. We don’t even get a “Previously On…” segment this time around. We get one clip of things to come with no announcement and no Probst narration. I’m all for keeping things short and sweet, and I’m glad the audience is being trusted to understand what’s happening without being told, but I must admit, I think not recapping the previous episode is a mistake. The “Survivor” fanbase numbers have been holding steady for years, but that’s not because no one ever leaves. Rather, it’s because new fans come in at about the same rate as old fans leave. As such, while we the superfans don’t need a recap, I feel it’s essential for drawing in the superfans of tomorrow. Hell, I only became a fan about 2/3 of the way through “Survivor Guatemala”, and that might not have happened if I didn’t have the recap to catch me up to speed. You’ve got the right idea, “Survivor”. Now just fine-tune it.

Naturally, we start off the episode at Vokai, since we’ve got the fallout from a blindside to deal with. Jason is, naturally, thrilled to not have been targeted, but we don’t dwell on that for long. For once, the reaction is not yelling, screaming, or any sort of indignation, but rather cold silence. In some ways, this is more terrifying than a blowup. Janet tries to start things off, but that doesn’t really go anywhere. Instead, it falls to diplomat Tommy to smooth things over with the burned Jack and Jamal. Tommy starts with Jack, taking him over to the water hole, and explaining that the move was against Molly, not himself or Jamal. True enough, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t include Jack on the vote, so he still has a reason to be concerned. Only an idiot would think this means everything is cool. Naturally, our next confessional is Jack being stoked about still being in the majority. I was willing to give Jack the benefit of a doubt from my first impression of him, but now it’s seeming like it might be correct.

Tommy guesses that Jamal will not be such an easy sell, and sure enough, the man’s pissed. He can’t keep the bitterness out of his voice, and asks the fair question of why he wasn’t included on the vote. The man has few options, so on the surface agrees to work with the group, but it’s clear to everyone that’s he’s out for himself, which he pretty much confirms in the confessional.

Dawn at Lairo brings us the women fooling about in the water, which is all the cue Karishma needs to talk about her heritage, and how it separates her from others. Specifically, she’s older and more modest, stating that Indians are conservative by nature. Not sure if that’s true or not, but I applaud her for going against her own personal morals to fit in, playing in the water with the other women as carefree as you please. It fits with the Rudy Boesch (“Survivor Borneo”) maxim of the individual needing to conform to fit the group to survive, not the other way around. I still maintain it’s the best summation of “Survivor” to date, and Karishma carries it well. Kudos.

The cavorting of the girls does not go unnoticed, and I don’t mean in the “Survivor The Amazon” fantasy sequence way. The guys, but particularly Tom and Aaron, notice this, and speak with the remaining guys about sticking together, not wanting the women to pick them off one by one. I would applaud their powers of observation, but sadly, I think this is just a case of dumb luck. Whenever there’s more women than men on a tribe, it seems inevitable that the accusation of “Women’s Alliance” will be leveled. The only difference in this case is that it happens to be correct. Sadly, even if I am shooting them on their powers of observation, they still don’t have much hope. Even if 4 was somehow able to be greater than 5, they still wouldn’t have a hope. Vince has not forgotten being targeted by Aaron at the first Tribal Council, and refuses to work with him. Still, at least our victims this season aren’t COMPLETE morons.

We soon see that Jamal is willing to make good on his promise of revenge back at Vokai. We start off simple enough, with another montage of Noura being irritating. This prompts Dan to inform us all that despite voting with her last time, she’s not in favor on the tribe, and touts a plan to pretty much everyone but her to take her out in a unified vote. Not a bad plan, all things considered. Nothing of great value is lost, and it unifies a tribe that needs to be unified. Jamal, however, is not about unity at this point, and so whispers in people’s ears, particularly Janet, about how Dan is taking control and needs to be stopped. My fault with Jamal here is not his plan as such. After all, this sort of talk is what got out Molly last episode. Jamal makes a good argument, but he’s doing it way too early. When you’re on the losing side of a vote, you’re in about the most vulnerable position you can be in in this game. Any name you hear that’s not yours, be grateful, and hang on to it. Don’t make waves. Now, should Jamal just forget about the betrayal, and reunify with Vokai long-run? Of course not! This is the sort of thing one should not forget about. But one should take a note from the playbook of Natalie Anderson (“Survivor San Juan del Sur”), and WAIT for the proper moment to enact your revenge. Lull your betrayers into a false sense of security, then strike. Otherwise, you run the risk of seeming like an unstable element in a game with far too many unstable elements already.

Sure enough, Janet’s not fully on board with this plan, and brings it to Tommy. He puts the kibosh on it, since he really wants that tribe reunification, where his social bonds are most helpful. As such, Jamal is now a prime target, where he wasn’t before. Way to go, Jamal.

I see it’s time to get our preview scene out of the way at Lairo. We were promised an injury, and sure enough, Karishma manages to cut her hand open while slicing some coconut. She claims she can see the bone, but surely that’s… AAGH! OH MY GOD! WHY DID YOU PUT THAT ON SCREEN?

After establishing that if anything Karishma is UNDERREACTING by calming saying she needs medical and walking away, we see that the focus of this injury is oddly not going to be the injury itself, but rather everyone’s reaction the the injury. Karishma starts to feel light-headed, presumably from shock, and so gets on her knees with her head down, to prevent passing out. A wise maneuver, but one that she does entirely on her won. You see, not one person form the group approximately 15 feet away comes over to help or comfort her. Karishma notices this, and claims that it shows she’s not really a part of the tribe, and that they’re out to get her because of her differences. Now, I applaud Karishma for paying attention to her surroundings, and I admit her conclusion has some logical basis. However, in this case I think that conclusion is wrong nonetheless. You see, I don’t think Karishma is being left out of the group, so much as she is the victim of a little something called the Bystander Effect.

For those of you not versed in Introductory Psychology, the Bystander Effect states that when a large group is asked for help, responsibility to help is diffused throughout the group, thereby decreasing the likelihood of anyone actually helping. Put more simply, if you ask a big group for help, each member of the group thinks “Someone else can do it”, making all of them less likely to actually help. Plus, in a large group, there’s then pressure to not deviate from the norm. If no one else is helping, you don’t want to stand out by helping. As a side note, this means that if you ever need help in a public place, you should call someone by name, or at least make eye contact, and ask a specific person for help. This puts all the pressure on that person, thereby making them more likely to actually help you. We should get back to “Survivor”, though. This, to me, is what’s happening with Karishma. Rather than asking one person for help, she asked the group (and didn’t even rally ask, just expected others to notice her), and didn’t make a big deal about her injury. Thus, everyone could pass off the blame and not rock the boat at the same time. Logical thinking on the part of Karishma, but wrong in this case. Don’t worry, though. Karishma will have legitimate reasons to be worried later in the episode.

After establishing that Karishma has been all bandaged up, a boat arrives at Lairo to take the next person to the Island of the Idols. Our victim this time is Vince, which worries many people. Everyone in general is worried about the possibility of an idol, while Elizabeth in particular is worried about Vince blowing her cover. More on that later. Suddenly, though, a voice from the background, mysterious and strange, comes with a solution. It is Dean!

Yes, Dean Kowalski, the most invisible contestant so far, has come to make his case. Frankly, given the quality of the case he makes, he should have kept his mouth shut. Dean, noting the idol paranoia, suggests splitting the vote in case Vince has an idol. A worthy suggestion, were it not for the fact that everyone BESIDES Vince is here, meaning that, by definition, you are suggesting voting someone off to their face, or at least bringing them close. Dean at least realizes his faux-pas, but the damage is done. Really should have just stopped talking. Karishma gets even more paranoid at this development, though again, I see little evidence that SHE will be the split vote here. It’s coming though.

Over on the Island of the Idols, we at first seem to be answering my prayer of Sandra taking the lead, as she’s the one to great Vince. Sadly, Boston Rob will again take the lead later on, but it’s a slight improvement. Vince, like Kellee before him, cries, and I’m less sympathetic here than I was to Kellee. Maybe Sandra and Boston Rob really are Vince’s heroes, but it isn’t really built up much, so his reaction seems a bit over the top. Kellee, by contrast, had a moment all of us could find emotional, making her crying far more understandable.

To be fair, though, Vince’s crying does mean the lesson for the day ties in better than before. Boston Rob wants Vince to work on controlling his emotions, and while that may not be a fatal flaw in Vince’s game, we have previously established this as something Vince struggles with, so it fits better overall. Vince’s “test” for this is to sneak into the Vokai camp and steal some fire, or other proof that the fire is out. Succeed, and you get an idol good for two votes. Get caught, and lose your next vote. Vince goes for it, which I can’t fault him for too much, since he doesn’t appear to be at risk, and I don’t see Vokai getting overly mad at his sneaking around. That said, I must call out Boston Rob for not giving Vince grief for holding out for a better deal. If this is something that’s supposed to be obvious to do, why does only Elizabeth get chastised for it?

Vince preps for the stealth mission. No, this does not mean Woo from “Survivor Cagayan” comes in to bestow upon Vince his “Ninja Stealth Mode”. Instead, Sandra teaches him her trademark techniques for sneaking around. I like this. It gets Sandra more involved, and is more visual than any lesson we’ve had so far. As Vince leaves on his mission, we get some good banter between Rob and Sandra. Sandra wishes to go with him to help, while Boston Rob jokes that she’d make too much noise with her nonstop talking. Funny, and natural. If we get more of this, I’ll go from being neutral about these two returning to overjoyed at their return.

Vince’s mission into Vokai is fairly uneventful, so I’ll save it a blow-by-blow. It’s really well-edited, though. The music and the shots of Vokai waking up combine to add a lot of tension to the scene. It’s also nice to see Vince improvise when their fire turns out to be out, scooping ashes into his canteen instead. It’s capped off to Vince comparing himself to a super-spy, while showing him fall on his butt. Boston Rob and Sandra deem his efforts worthy of an idol. Good for him, even though he too should have been given grief for not holding out for a better deal.

CHALLENGE TIME! And yes, it has been a while since I’ve used all-caps when announcing a challenge, but then, it’s been a long time since I’ve been this excited about a challenge. I don’t think I’ve seen something this fun or original since the third immunity challenge of “Survivor San Juan del Sur”, and that was five years ago! Now, some elements might seem pretty standard. You’ve got a one-on-one swimming race to retrieve a key. Nothing unusual there. Our challenge ends with a puzzle. Again, pretty standard, but they at least combine a couple of puzzle elements, specifically the hanging fish from “Survivor Redemption Island”, and that bonsai-tree puzzle first seen on “Survivor One World”. Getting better, but nothing all-caps worthy. But that middle section! You see, our remaining six players (having used one on swimming and two on the puzzle) need something to do. As such, they all climb up on a see-saw balance beam, and must then maneuver the last player up to both ends of the see-saw to retrieve bags of puzzle pieces. This is an element like nothing we’ve seen before. Closes was the first reward challenge of “Survivor Vanuatu”, and even that was more about the maneuvering than about the balance. You have to take both into consideration here, and it makes for an engaging visual we’ve never seen before on this show. More of this creativity, please!

Even the reused parts of the challenge manage to be exciting, though that’s in part due to the stakes being high. Unlike the previous two episodes, both tribes have had some talk about multiple targets, and thus there’s actual MYSTERY as to who wins. Even the damn swimming challenge is engaging, with Olympic Swimmer Elizabeth going up against lifeguard Janet. Janet is kind of in a win-win situation here. If she loses, no big deal. She was up against an Olympian, and can use that as an excuse. If she wins? She beat an Olympian, and her stock goes up tremendously. She’s sort of in the same position as Nick Maiorano going up against Scot Pollard in basketball on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, with similar results.

Still, despite this early lead, Lairo takes the loss. It seems puzzles are their achilles heal, as Karishma and Vince can’t get it together, letting Jamal and Lauren take the win on this one. NOW Karishma has reason to be worried. She may have exaggerated how outside the group she was earlier, but a challenge loss, particularly when you had a decent lead, is reason enough to vote you off. Sure enough, when discussion comes as to who to split the vote with against Vince, Karishma’s name comes up, due to her poor performance. Of course, Karishma at camp isn’t helping herself, either. Not with the “Everyone hates me” thing so much, but with being too enigmatic in her strategy. Playing cards close to the chest is one thing, but Karishma refuses to name names, simply saying she doesn’t want to go. Again, I get the strategy. It’s basically the “Anybody but me.” strategy. Karishma, unfortunately, does not have the subtlety to pull it off, and suffers for it. Plus, if someone’s begging you for a name, GIVE THEM A NAME! There comes a time of diminishing returns on the enigmaticness.

The women, however, are not content to just have two targets. They’re still the majority, so they can decide who to vote for. They could just stay for Vince, but as noted, he’s nominally on their side, so it may not be the best idea. They cast around for men to vote off, and settle on Tom, for being older and quiet. I can understand the decision, but I’m still shocked that Dean didn’t get targeted for his faux-pas earlier. I know they say they need his strength, but it’s been established at this point that Lairo is not hurting for strength. It’s brains they need, and unless Dean’s going to step up on the puzzles, there’s not much of a need to keep him around.

As we head off to Tribal, let us discuss the pros and cons of our three targets. Overall, Karishma is the worst choice to go, particularly from the women’s perspective. She puts the dominant alliance in jeopardy if she goes, and two poor puzzle performances does not a challenge sink make. There’s an argument to be made that she’s unstable, as we’ll see at Tribal Council later, but I think Karishma has a big difference from other insecure players I’ve advocated getting the boot in the past. Specifically, while she’s insecure, she’s not flipping due to that insecurity, just begging the women to stay together. She may be uncertain, but she’s loyal in her uncertainty, meaning it can go away with more votes going the way she hopes, and making her an asset down the road. Vince, while not the best choice, is still ok. He’s probably the most unified choice, as the only person out of the vote is him, and he’s gone. Still, he does seem loyal to the women, making him an asset. Surprisingly, despite being the last minute target, Tom is actually probably the smart choice. I hate advocating getting rid of the older guy, but I don’t see him bringing much to the tribe, and he’s probably the least loyal to the women’s alliance. True, he does have an “in” with Elaine, but Vince does as well. Sure, it will piss off Aaron and Dean, but they’re probably out next, so who cares. The exception to all this is Elizabeth. As she mentioned earlier, so far the only person on Lairo who can contradict her story about the Island of the Idols is Vince. I wouldn’t suggest she advocate hard for Vince, since that in and of itself would arouse suspicion, but if others are saying it, I might push for it slightly from her point.

With Karishma so on edge, Tribal Council is understandably a fun affair. After Aaron displays some confidence, Karishma again vocalizes her discomfort with her position in the tribe. Tom tries to calm things down by giving his “team” pep talk, and correctly pointing out Lairo’s puzzle weakness, but Karishma will not be stopped. She goes and whispers in the women’s ears, a move that plays better on tv than it does in the game. If anything this hurts Karishma, as now she can be painted as a schemer. Again I understand the paranoia, but this is not the right way to express it.

For once, our mystery is kept all through Tribal, but in the end, the women go for Vince. As I stated previously, not the worst move, but not the best either. I am personally sorry to see Vince go. He wasn’t the best player in the game, and I don’t think he would have won, but the guy did make for a lot of fun moments, and for that, he shall be missed. The only flaw in his exit is Boston Rob and Sandra up in the peanut gallery, reminding us that he got voted out with an idol. You know, in case we forgot from 30 minutes ago.

This episode is probably the best of the season. It keeps the strong characters and intriguing storylines, but adds in better mystery and more humor. If this season keeps up, it definitely stays in the top-tier, and with a blindfold challenge promised for next episode, it seems likely to do so!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Ghost Island” Episode 9: The Complainer is Always Wrong

Rather than start you off with an introduction to this blog, I’m instead going to apologize. I’d been good so far this season about making sure that my blogs came out on time. Despite my dire warnings of the new housepet wreaking havoc, she has so far been fairly immaterial to viewing “Survivor”, and she continues to be so. No, my cable decided that YESTERDAY would be the perfect day for the sound to go out on CBS, and given that I had to wake up early today, I thought it the better part of valor to go through the long way of resetting the cable, and just catch the episode the next day. Sadly, while I did my best to avoid spoilers, I foolishly went on Facebook, and accidentally saw who the boot was. Granted, the boot this episode is the person I thought was going to be the boot before the episode aired, so hopefully this spoiler won’t color my opinion on the episode too much, but in case it does: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Speaking of sorry, it’s time for another:

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Not only is it bad enough that I have these two episodes in a row, but I in fact missed TWO THINGS last episode. First and foremost, I was so busy pointing out how Wendell was being an idiot at the top of last episode that I neglected to mention the actually GOOD gameplay at the top of last episode. Domenick admits to the group that he was being kind of an ass about the whole Chris feud, and swears to play a more quiet game. This is a smart move, and one that helps make Domenick less of a clone of Tony Vlachos (“Survivor Cagayan”) for me. Granted, we’ll see that this lasts pretty much only one episode, but it’s a good attempt, at least. My other missed point concerns Michael, and his pitch to Angela against Domenick and Wendell. While he did bring them up as targets, Michael also brought up Kellyn as a possibility, and this is who Angela went to first after the news. While this does prove that Michael has his finger on the pulse of who’s running things, I think it was a bad move to suggest targeting Kellyn to Angela. Bear in mind, it was Domenick and Wendell who burned Angela earlier in the season. They’re the people she has a vendetta against, and they’re the ones she’s likely to turn against. Kellyn, on the other hand, is the one who successfully brought Angela back into the fold, and with Chris gone, most likely her closest ally. Angela is probably not keen on targeting her, hence part of why Michael’s plan failed.

Fallout from the exit of Libby just about equates to her impact on the game: Virtually nonexistent. Thus, we start of the next day with Domenick telling Laurel about a dream involving the pair of them and egg-and-cheese sandwiches. Thankfully there is no dream interpretation, and we move on to Desi talking about managing the hunger by growing up on the streets. What’s this? Character development for an under edited player, and a fairly interesting story? Scratch that! Time for a strategy confessional we’ve seen a million times before! Desi gathers the Malolo Four and suggests targeting Kellyn, then Domenick and Wendell, to shake things up. In the process, Desi reassures them that the Naviti Seven, as they are now known, are not tight and will eat each other. Now, I’m a bit conflicted about what Desi is saying here. On the one hand, what little we HAVE seen of her games makes her seem more of an equal partner than a subordinate, at least in relation to Kellyn. On the other hand, Desi probably has a better grasp on where she is than we do, and it’s probably not a bad idea to make nice with the Malolos, should you want to use them down the line. The flaw in the plan is Desi’s execution. There’s a time where Naviti may have to use Malolo to better themselves in the game, but with eleven people left at the start of this episode, now is not that time. It’s just too many people, and too high a likelihood that someone will use this to turn Naviti against you, Desi. Better to just lead with the subtle hints, such as the “Naviti won’t stay strong forever”, to give people hope and a desire to work with you, but not plant incriminating evidence for yourself. Ah well, the fruits of her labors will be seen soon enough.

More evidence that this season is on a downward trajectory: they pulled the reward challenge from “Survivor Fiji”. Yes, “Survivor Fiji”. Going for the creme of the crop there, CBS. Teams of five, starting with two in a boat, will row said boat to prison cells that must be untied, freeing three tribe members. Then it’s your basic block picture puzzle at the end, with the winning five-some getting a picturesque picnic, while a member of the losing five goes to Ghost Island (the sit out is eligible for neither reward nor Ghost Island, both of which seem missed opportunities to me. It sucks when someone is left out of everything pure for challenge considerations). To be fair to this challenge, this is one we haven’t seen in a while, and the puzzle is devious, as there are actually extra pieces, but this is not stated to the contestants, leading to fun moments where they have to figure it out on their own. The puzzle ALMOST makes up for the rest of the challenge, but unfortunately, the bad of a post-merge team challenge circa “Survivor Fiji” is enough to sink it still.

The orange team consists of Sebastian, Michael, Kellyn, Chelsea, and Jenna, while the purple team consists of Wendell, Domenick, Laurel, Angela, and Desi. Fairly evenly matched, all things considered, at least until the challenge starts. Not sure where Wendell and Domenick learned to paddle a boat, but for some reason of “Have someone paddle at the back.” is beyond them. This gives the orange team a bit of a lead, which in a puzzle challenge wouldn’t be such a huge deal, were it not for the fact that orange also has the best puzzle solver of the season (Kellyn) with them, and thus makes the conclusion all but certain. Probst tries to amp up the drama by saying “reverse the curse” on Malolo again, but A, this is not the MALOLO team but the ORANGE team, and B, Malolo already reversed their curse right before the merge. You said so yourself, Probst. The inevitable rock draw happens, and Angela gets to be the one sent to Ghost Island this time. Yay. Way to make NO STRATEGY happen back at camp, as the in-control foursome of Wendell, Domenick, Laurel, and Donathan are left with Desi, who wouldn’t want to talk to them anyway.

Oh well, at least we may get some strategy on the reward. After our admittedly gorgeous nature shots, and Sebastian narrating said nature shots, the strategy talk resumes. Reiterating the now obvious point that rewards are a good time to get on people’s good sides, Michael gives a pretty good pitch, all things considered. Rather than openly strategize, which would make him more of a threat, Michael acknowledges his position on the bottom, and merely states that he hopes to be used as a number. This good pitch is met with mockery from the Naviti on reward, with Sebastian of all people giving a half-hearted “Yeah, that could happen, I guess.”, which is island-speak for “No.” This gives Kellyn well-deserved confidence, and she admits that he game is exactly where she wants it to be right now. I’m sure this confessional is is NO WAY ironic, and will be proven true as the episode goes on.

Angela finds that she gets to play for an advantage on Exile Island… I mean Ghost Island. Ok, seriously, I’ve been SO CLOSE to writing “Exile Island” several times, and I’m amazed I’ve lasted this long without making that mistake. I don’t mind the “Ghost Island” twist as much as some people, but apart from giving the season a name, there’s really no reason for it not to be “Exile Island”. It works pretty much the same way.

Anyway, Angela gets the same deal that Kellyn got last time, namely that she has a 2/3 shot at getting an advantage, but risks not voting in the process. Angela analyses that with Naviti going strong, her vote is of little consequence, and thus she can risk it. Astute, correct analysis. Unfortunately, Angela makes the fatal mistake of picking the unlucky rightmost chute, which has the no-vote in it. Angela curses her bad luck, we berate production for doing the same thing repeatedly, and we move on.

For the first time this episode, I’m wrong, as we DO get a bit of strategizing back at camp. Laurel and Donathan debate whether or not to go with Desi’s plan. Once again, Donathan seems to be the main person who’s gung-ho for it, and once again, Laurel seems to be the one to shoot it down. Frankly, I’m not surprised. As I’ve hinted at, it feels like the dynamic that played out last episode, but with less mystery. The fact is that if Laurel wasn’t willing to move when she felt burned by her core alliance, she’s not going to move now, when she’s clearly made her bed with them. This scene also has the unfortunate side-effect of really making Donathan seem like a bit player. He’s definitely fun and likeable, but any delusions of him being in power are gone. He’s riding Laurel’s coat-tails, nothing more.

Laurel informs Domenick about Desi’s plan, thus beginning to shake him out of that “Calm and collected” strategy he had been doing so well at. Admittedly, Domenick’s first response is actually quite measured, but give it time. Domenick informs Kellyn of the plot, thus shaking up Kellyn’s whole world. Oh, the irony! I could never have seen this coming!

Meanwhile, with the Malolo people, despite Michael’s valiant attempts at relationship-building, the man reads that he’s still on the bottom, and thus goes in search of the idol. Donathan agrees to go with him, which Michael is somewhat wary of, and with good reason. Donathan is the one who finds the idol, specifically the one held by Scot Pollard on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, a much better season to be pulling from than “Survivor Game Changers”. While there is some hyperbole to be had here (I really don’t think Tai’s betrayal is one of the “biggest” there ever was, and the snubbing of Aubry’s role in that blindside displeases the Aubry Lobby), I do like the twist they do with this idol. Rather than work on it’s own, it requires Tai’s half of the idol, aka the half that was never played, in order to make a regular idol. This makes for a more authentic curse than we’ve seen. Tai’s half of the idol is hidden under the shelter. Sadly for Donathan, he’s not as “sneaky sneaky” as Kelley Wentworth, and thus requires help to get it. He first enlists Laurel’s help, which I can get behind, since the pair are close allies. Then, however, he also needs Michael and Jenna, which I have a harder time with. Maybe Jenna, just to keep your Malolo options open, but at this point, Michael is the primary target. If he knows you have an idol, and you don’t play it for him (since, after all, your train seems to bit hitched to Laurel, who in turn is hitched to Domenick and Wendell), then that’s an unnecessary betrayal. Still, at least Donathan gets an idol out of it, and I have to say, this is a good use of “Survivor” History. Rather than just repeating what we already know, we get a twist on the old idol concept, but a twist that makes sense given how events went down. Be happy. This is the highlight of the episode.

While our immunity challenge is at least individual, it still sucks. It’s the “Balance the ball on a plate with two ropes” challenge which was boring to begin with, and is now overdone. At least this one goes quick, with over half the players falling out in the first two minutes. Our bland challenge is won by the bland Chelsea, and we move on.

Without immunity, Michael would seem to be the obvious target, but the wrath of Domenick has been aroused, and he wants Desi gone. Here’s where Domenick flies off the rails. Now granted, he doesn’t go quite as far as he does with the Chris vendetta, but he’s still seen strongarming a lot of people, particularly Kellyn. Kellyn, being die-hard Naviti strong, talks to Desi and Chelsea, who both deny wanting to make a move. From what we’ve seen, it’s true of Chelsea, but Desi has to lie, and lie she does, saying that Laurel (Domenick had mentioned to Kellyn that Laurel was the one who passed information) is making things up to try to break them up. Kellyn seems convinced, so now all Desi has to do since her plans have blown up is lie low and wait for things to shift back to Michael. But no, she has to go and berate Laurel for blowing up a “good” plan. Wendell enters the area, and Desi abruptly and bluntly changes tactic, berating Laurel for a conversation that “never happened.” Now, the flaw here is not Desi’s lie. It’s definitely a good one, and Desi, for all her bad moves this episode, has an AMAZING poker face. Desi’s flaw is not going with this lie from the beginning and sticking with it, thus keeping suspicion off of herself. Oh, and being too forceful about the lie. When Desi leaves, and the Malolo bring Wendell in on the conversation, even though Wendell doesn’t know what’s going on, Malolo seems more truthful by demeanor alone.

Ironically, Michael gets an offer of an alliance only when he DOESN’T try and do something. Domenick is again paranoid, and so makes Michael and alliance offer. I don’t think it’s super serious, and it’s a good move on Domenick’s part ot keep his options open. Less good is what happens with Kellyn and Domenick. Kellyn is getting more and more paranoid, but more good reassurances from Desi keep Kellyn wanting to go for Michael. Domenick keeps strong-arming against Desi, though, leading to an outburst from Kellyn about how she always goes with what the guys want, and now the guys should go with what the girls want, in this case Michael.

Now, I’m jumping ahead a bit here, and spoiling the boot slightly early, but I want to talk about the implications of this scene because I think it explains something about how this season is being received. Personally, I’m enjoying this season a lot, and certainly way more than “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”, but even I admit that the last couple of episodes have been weak. Still, I couldn’t quite understand the hate until tonight, and now I think I get it. The problem here is not technically a Pagonging, but something of a similar nature. The problem is that our top four (Domenick, Wendell, Laurel, and Donathan) have no real competition. Once it was clear that their side would win out over Chris, the story was written. Pretty much anyone who could match them on a social or strategic level was voted out pre-merge. Smart for them, but boring for the audience, who now have to slog through a LOT of the less-good characters of the season (name one thing about Sebastian, Jenna, or Chelsea. I’ll wait.) in order to get to anything interesting. True, the episode can be EDITED to be more tense, but like the boy who cried “Wolf!” there’s only so many times you can get away with this before we stop believing. I bring this up with this scene because at this point, their only real competition left is Kellyn (some would argue Michael as well, and while he’s better than expected, he’s not on the same level as the rest of the strategists this season, so short of an immunity run, he’s not really a threat), and she’s so blinded by “Naviti Strong” that she’s not really putting up much of a fight. Even tonight, when she seemed ready to wrest control from the guys, she STILL kowtowed to their way, and eliminated Desi. Thus, the next few episodes just seem like a slog with an obvious outcome, rather than an exciting roller-coaster ride it should be. As for myself, I personally think the four who are in control are the most likable and interesting people left (save for Domenick, and even he gets in a good line now and then), and thus I’m happy to see them succeeding, but if you’re someone who DOESN’T like them, then this is not only a slog, but a slog to an outcome that isn’t fun. It’s a bit like the problem with Kim Spradlin’s win on “Survivor One World”. Even if she’s a good player, and even if you liked Kim, the fact that it was so obvious just removes the entertainment week to week. This isn’t quite as a bad as that, since it’s a group dominating the game instead of the individual, but it’s still pretty bad.

To the episode’s credit, Tribal Council is at least entertaining, as one would expect with Desi on the defensive. Things kick of with Desi and Laurel both giving their sides of the story. Desi in particular states that she’ll tell her side once and leave it at that. Once Donathan contradicts her story, she flies into a rage, arguing loudly and often incoherently. Pretty much all of the old Malolo speak up calmly against her, and it makes for a fun contrast that only adds to the credibility of Malolo. Even the vote reveal manages to eke out a bit of tension, by showing four Desi votes before two Michael votes, making it seem like it will follow the pattern of the second person revealed being the victim. But, as mentioned, Desi goes home. I can’t say I’m too sorry. While I can’t say anything bad about Desi, she just never really made an impact. Michael, at least, provides a good underdog story. Plus, I’d say it’s the right move for the Naviti people, if the goal is to stay united. Even if Desi wasn’t allying against you, she’s still stirring up disunity by arguing. In addition, keeping Michael around gives you a common enemy to rally around, and with ten people left, his threat to immunity is still relatively minimal.

Good move, bad episode. The drama was really just gone, and it’s starting to drag down the season. Point being, we lost too many players too early. We needed people like Jacob and Stephanie still around to add fun and strategy to counter the main alliance, and we just don’t have it. I’m not writing the season off yet, but for the first time since the premier, it’s slipping in my mental rankings.

Still, next episode looks promising. Not only is it the 200th blog of “Idol Speculation”, but we return to a Double-Tribal Council, of the type not seen since “Survivor Redemption Island”. Unlike most things from that season, I look forward to its return.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: The Tragedy of Aubry Bracco

Screw it, CBS, if you’re not going to release your new cast today so that I can talk about it, I’ll find something ELSE to talk about. Maybe not the most timely of topics, but dammit, it needs to be addressed.

Now, this is a blog that I’ve been mulling over for a while. The loss of Aubry Bracco to Michele Fitzgerald in the finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” has shaken the “Survivor” community like I’ve not seen in a long time, and while the debate has largely died down, I doubt it will ever go away entirely. Still, I’ve felt a need to contribute something, but didn’t mainly because I felt I had nothing to say. And true, I will freely admit that a number of the points I’ll make here are unoriginal. The fact remains, however, that understanding the reasoning behind this outcome helps us understand “Survivor”, and now that I have some points that I feel I can bring to the discussion anew, the time is right.

The finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” was less than a year ago, but let us set the stage nevertheless. After what turned out to be a pretty exciting season, we went into the finale with expectations high. What we had here was a rare situation like with “Survivor Philippines” where no matter who won, the audience would be happy. We had Aubry, probably the audience favorite due to most “Survivor” fans being nerds of some form or another, who had a great transformation story, helped make arguably the biggest move of the game, and pretty well dominated strategy post-merge. We had Cydney, fellow strategy dominator and all around badass woman. Ok, she was maybe not as well liked as Aubry, but that’s mainly nerd-bias coming into play. Cydney was Aubry’s strategic equal, and the one who ultimately organized the dominant alliance. A victory from her would be well-deserved. We had Tai, America’s sweetheart, and so unlikely of a winner that you couldn’t help but root for him. And we had Michele, who while perhaps the least exciting of the four, did have something of an “underdog finalist” narrative going for her, had made some subtle gameplay moves, won a lot of respect for smacking down the sexist comments of former ally Nick Maiorano, and just seemed like a nice person in general. About the only thing the audience, and even the players, COULD agree on was that the only real foregone conclusion would be having Aubry in the finals. She wins there, no question. Strategically dominant, and even her enemies seemed to have a lot of respect. Note Scot Pollard’s “Giving her all in every aspect of the game.” comment, and Kyle Jason’s “There’s as much brawn in her as there is in me.” comment right before Scot got booted. Add onto that the recent trend of “Survivor” juries generally going for the player with the best strategic gameplay, and having Aubry in the finals seemed a lock for a win.

And then, with a “Final Three” twist, Aubry, Michele, and Tai were our finalists. We got a closer vote than we usually get, with a 5-2 victory, but that victory went to Michele. And thus began the wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

Seriously, this was fandom rage over a winner that I hadn’t seen in a while. Say what you will about recent “Survivor” seasons, but there was usually little complaint about the ultimate winner. Certainly there were times where people politely debated the outcome. People who said that Parvati deserved the win over Sandra in “Survivor Heroes vs. Villains”, detractors of Sophie Clark from “Survivor South Pacific”. Hell, if you want to get really recent, some even debate whether Hannah or Ken should have won “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen-X.” But that’s the thing: it’s debate, not rage. No, if you want to go back to the last time we had real rage over the outcome of a season of “Survivor”, you’d have to go back to Natalie White’s victory in “Survivor Samoa”, seven years ago at the time of this writing, and six and a half as of the “Survivor Kaoh Rong” finale. Pretty good track record, all things considered, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about. We’re here to talk about the winner of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, and how it happened.

When this initial outcome happened, I was really at a loss for what to say about it. One the one hand, as an Aubry fan in general and a lover of unlikely people overcoming odds, it’s more than fair to say that I was in Aubry’s corner, and would very much have loved her to win. On the other hand, I’m not someone who thinks “deserving” really enters into “Survivor”, so declaring Aubry the “correct” winner seemed wrong. More to the point, it detracts from Michele’s game. She played well. Her play style wasn’t very “showy”, but in many ways, that’s the smart way to do things, since it makes you less of a target. Arguing that Aubry “Was the better player” or “should have one” inherently detracts from the good game Michele played, and would be too insulting for my taste. Still, the outcome detracted from the season, but I had no way to express that without insulting Michele. Until now.

Ok, here’s where argument stealing comes into play. In anticipation for the upcoming season, I’ve been surfing around the “Survivor” Web, just to read what I can to tide me over until CBS announces the cast already. In doing so, I came across a recap of the finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” on the website “Inside ‘Survivor'”, which phrased it perfectly. To paraphrase: In general, the storyline of any given season of “Survivor” can be boiled down to “This is why person A won.” or “This is why person B lost.” As “Survivor Kaoh Rong” ultimately does neither, we get a weak ending to the season.

Bam. Right there. It’s not about who played better than whom, but about what the editors chose to do. I can understand not wanting to give us a “Why Michele won.” storyline this season. As I said, her game isn’t very “showy” and doesn’t make for good television. Fair enough. But then you need to explain to us why Aubry lost, and you didn’t do an adequate job of that, either. You were too busy making her beloved by the fans to DARE show us her spots. Oh, you showed us a couple, here and there. Her breakdown on day two, and her indecision in voting Peter out. But ultimately, the back half of the season, what most people remember, can be boiled down to “Cydney and Aubry kick ass.”, and in the case of the former flaw, it was redeemed in the same episode it was brought up in.

Now, some of you may point to what my readings seem to indicate is the most accepted explanation for Aubry’s loss, namely that she didn’t talk too much to people outside her alliance. Which I would accept, within the show, as fair enough, IF THEY ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO SHOW IT! See, this is part of that “Show Aubry’s spots” thing. If she played a social game where she alienated people, fair enough. If Scot and Jason in particular (as they seemed to be the freest votes going into Final Tribal Council) hated Aubry’s guts, then give us confessionals of them hating Aubry’s guts. If they felt that strongly, you must have SOME material you can use! But no, we get confessionals of them talking about how much of a threat she is, and giving the aforementioned compliments that made it LOOK like there were no hard feelings. Extended clips and behind the scenes things are all well and good, but the storyline of the season is what we get on tv, and what we got on tv was that Aubry was beloved by everyone on the jury, save perhaps for Debbie (due to her betrayal) and Julia (due to being besties with Michele).

Now, some might argue that a “This is why person B lost.” storyline inherently makes that person unlikeable, and the producers didn’t want to do that to Aubry. A fair enough point, but the producers have shown that they can show why someone lost, and still have them be at least somewhat likable before. Russell Hantz’ loss on “Survivor Samoa” may be the primary example of a “Why person B lost.” story, but it’s not the only one. The model the producers needed to follow was “Survivor All Stars”. I know, it’s weird to copy anything from “Survivor All Stars” but here it was necessary. We had a winner, Amber Brkitch, whose game, while not the most exciting, was the winning one. So, the producers showed why Boston Rob ultimately lost, by highlighting how he was personally offending most of the other players. Now, this didn’t make Boston Rob the darling of America, but he was well liked enough to be a prime vote-getter in the popularity poll at the end of the season, and the fanbase still had a lot of respect for him at the end. Despite the story of the season being about his failings, a good number of people still liked, or at least respected, Boston Rob. If Aubry’s social game did have those failings, then you could show us those, and we would still like her as a flawed, but pretty good player. Instead, you had to highlight the good points, and make it seem like an Aubry win was a lock. Not saying Aubry was a bad player by any stretch, but if there was a coherent reason she turned a lot of the jury off, then we need to know it.

As it stands, I do have two ideas about why Aubry lost that fit within the evidence presented on the show only, but the outcome isn’t a good one. If we go by the show’s logic, Aubry’s loss was due 100% to anti-nerd bias. True, we still have the problem of Aubry being shown in the most positive light possible, but we do at least have confessionals that state that our potential swing votes may be anti-nerd. Jason’s “Shoving geeks in lockers.” comment comes to mind. And if that’s the case, then, well, it sucks. Yes, the jury is allowed to vote based on whatever criteria they wish, and if that involves implicit bias, so be it. But here’s why it’s unsatisfying: It’s something Aubry can’t fix. It implies that, however good of a game she played, Aubry would never win on this season because she herself was never going to be an acceptable winner to these people, and she can’t do anything about it. True, one can try and build bonds with people, try and be someone they’re not, but at the end of the day, if someone’s biased against you, you may not be able to overcome that hurdle. Therefore, no matter how well you play the game, even if your physical, social, and strategic games could not be better, people would still not vote for you because of bias. And that rubs people in general, and me in particular, the wrong way. Would a vote based on Aubry’s social game still be hard to take. Yes, but I could see it as a flaw to overcome in the future. “Being a nerd” is not a flaw, nor should it be, and may not be possible to overcome.

The other part of this is simply connection. Debbie and Julia, as I’ve said, were pretty well locked Michele votes in this Final Three, and I think we underestimated how much Scot and Jason followed Julia’s lead, making Michele’s win a dead certainty. Again, understandable, but what could be done about it? Some might argue that Aubry could have made moves earlier in the game that could have put her up against people she could have beaten, and it may be true, but I argue that this leaves too many variables unchecked to really be of any value. For example, let’s say that Aubry had joined with Tai to vote out Michele instead of Jason at the final six. True, it gets rid of Michele, but what if Jason goes on an immunity tear after that? Aubry, being perceived as a threat, maybe doesn’t even MAKE Final Tribal Council. I’m all for speculation (this is “Idol Speculation” after all), but there are just too many unknowns here for such speculation to be of any merit.

In the end, the season is what it is. Still very good, but with a misstep in the editing that made the ending less satisfying. People have debated the details of the outcome in more depth than I care to, and ultimately we’ll probably never know the true reasoning behind the outcome that jibes with all the evidence. Having it fall on the editing team hopefully helps them prepare for the future, and let’s me sleep at night. Able to be bitter about the outcome, but happy in the knowledge that both our winner and our runner-up played great games.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor MGX” Episode 9: Will Can’t Have Alcohol

Guys, I have an announcement: Will can’t drink alcohol. No beer, no wine, no spirits, no mixed drinks. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Poor sap has to make do with only soda. And what a sad existence that must be. But let’s focus on the main point here, and that is that Will Wahl is not legally allowed to drink. The man must be abstinent while his tribemates are in the throws of Dionysian bliss. He cannot have a single drop of that sainted liquid that makes one drunk. There will be no imbibing of intoxicating beverages by the young man with the uncannily deep voice. And, just in case I haven’t made it clear, Will cannot drink alcohol.

Ah, what a traditional way to start a blog, talking about the main focus of the episode. Now we move onto the strategy talk, as the usual fallout from Tribal Council ensues, along with the time-honored tradition of calling the people who flipped on you “idiots”. Our culprit tonight is perennial idiot Jay, who brings up the point that Zeke, Adam, and Hannah are now on the bottom of the Gen-X alliance. I’m willing to admit that this point is fair, but on the whole, I can’t condone Jay’s assessment. After all, where would the threesome be if they had stuck with him True, they’d be the bottom of a seven-person alliance rather than a nine-person alliance, which is seemingly better, but I’d argue (and I’d say the later parts of the episode back me up) that the nine-person alliance is more fractious than seven-person alliance in this case, and, as Hannah will bring up later, that threesome have more power in the latter alliance, despite the increased number. Here’s my problem: I can, to a certain degree, excuse people saying “Well, why ISN’T my alliance the obviously right move to make?” before the votes are cast. But hindsight is 20/20, and for Jay to not even RECOGNIZE why his alliance might not be attractive to Hannah, Zeke, and Adam is preposterous.

Chris also takes the time to brag about how his position is improving. Which is true. Good assessment, Chris. Yeah, really not much more to say about it than that.

But enough about that, this is shiny, happy “Survivor” time, as Adam for once manages to not completely screw up consoling someone after the vote, talking with Taylor about why it was the correct move for him to go against Taylor. Namely, Adam points out that Taylor and Jay were gunning for HIM, a point that even Taylor can’t deny, so we quickly move on to talking about the dirt that Taylor and Adam have on each other. Adam knows about Taylor’s food stash, Taylor knows about Adam’s reward steal. This helps to justify Adam’s revealing of information last episode, a move panned by everyone but myself, it seems. Basically, Adam and Taylor are in a “Nuclear Option” situation. Both have information that could, if not destroy each other, then at least cripple each other’s games pretty hard. That is a way to build trust, albeit tenuous trust. And, given how the Cold War went in general, you could argue that the analogy makes for bad strategy, but I still see the point in it. Granted, Adam really needs to give up on this whole “Make Taylor and Jay trust me.” thing, since that ship has clearly sailed, but here, at least, he has one good attempt at it. I’ll give him credit, though: I really like his “If you wanted me to stick with you, why’d you try and vote me out?” confessional.

Taylor consoles himself with food, and his attitude is really starting to annoy me. What Taylor is doing here is effectively sabotage, not really any different from what Scot and Jason did on “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but at least they were TRYING to piss people off. Taylor really doesn’t seem to understand why it’s wrong, though he does at least admit that he’s doing it more to give himself an advantage than anything. I just keep thinking back to the likes of Julie McGee
from “Survivor San Juan del Sur”. She similarly stole food, and the castigation of her in response was a factor in her eventual quit. Taylor? True, he does get voted out for his trouble, but the man ultimately gets off pretty lightly for what I’d consider a serious offense. Stealing is one thing, but stealing from literal starving people is another thing entirely.

In keeping with our new upbeat attitude, we get our second instance of HANNAH attempting to console someone on the losing side of the vote. Having learned from her mistakes with Adam and Zeke, Hannah actually does a good job of talking to Jay about her decision. She’s friendly, but not condescending, and explains how her feeling of greater power by working with the old Takali led to her flip, and Jay, who really has very little choice at this point, seems to still be on good terms with her. Despite what episode 3 of this season might have indicated, Adam really needs to take lessons from her.

We head on to our reward challenge, and, in what may be an “Idol Speculation” first, I really feel no need to describe it step by step. It’s your average generic obstacle course, and ultimately in this case, the individual steps don’t matter. It’s boring, it’s a team challenge post merge, it’s for burgers and drinks at a spa, and Will still isn’t allowed to drink alcohol. That’s about all that really matters.

Oh, and Probst is making a big deal about the fact that teams will be decided by a schoolyard pick. This is often the case on “Survivor”, but rarely do they actually bother to show it. The only times they DO show it are when it has a major impact on the episode, like when the contestants of “Survivor Kaoh Rong” called out how it would fall down alliance lines, and skipped it entirely. Naturally, with something so impactful on the episode, we’re going to watch the pick go one by one, and see where it all goes wrong for one team.

Or, you know, we could cut right to the fact that the purple team is pretty much all old Takali, while the orange team is all old Vanua, with Taylor and Jessica being the only respective switches, that’s cool too. But surely if they brought up the schoolyard pick, then it must have major repercussions throughout the episode. I mean, the orange team picked by Hannah ultimately loses, so that must do something. Look, she’s even getting a confessional about it! It must lead to something this episode! SPOILER ALERT: This is the last time we hear about the schoolyard pick having any impact.

We get our requisite enjoyment of the reward, with Taylor bragging about his eating habits as a garnish. Then we return to a classic “Survivor” staple: the drunken idiot. Newer fans of the show may not be aware of this, as the tradition has dropped off in recent years, but “Survivor” used to have a mean tendency to give people just enough alcohol and just barely not enough food to have someone make a complete drunken ass of themselves. Think of Tom Westman’s performance during the merge on “Survivor Palau”, or basically any time “Big Tom” Buchanan (“Survivor Africa”) was allowed anywhere near alcohol. Unlike Will. Who can’t have it. Having no one named “Tom” on this season to take the fall, we settle for Bret, who seems to determined to prove all stereotypes about Bostonians true. He even sort of KNOWS he’s being set up, admitting beforehand that he should probably limit himself, though Chris informs us that this went out the window very quickly. Granted, Bret gets off easy, with the extent of his drunken exploits being a bombastic cannonball into the pool.

All is not calm, though, as Sunday comes out of the woodwork to deliver some intrigue. I said back in episode 3 (there’s that episode again) that I thought there was more to Sunday than the show was giving us, given a good remark of hers at Tribal Council. Then she quieted down until recently, and I wrote it off as my reading too much into it. But evidently I was correct the first time, as there’s some gamer left in Sunday yet. A fairly bad gamer, to be sure, but a gamer nonetheless, and that always leads to some fun with regards to strategy. Basically, the wounds from the vote where Jessica was saved haven’t fully healed, and while the pair are civil to each other, Sunday admits that Jessica probably needs to go sooner rather than later, especially as the old Takali a a fractured bunch. I would complain about this coming right out of nowhere, but in this case, I’ll give it a pass. This conflict would only really have arose starting in episode 5, at which point we had the switch, so there was really no need for Sunday to comment on her suspicion of Jessica until now. What I WILL complain about is the poor strategy behind it. I get not trusting Jessica, I really do, but holding the old Takali together is really in Sunday’s best interests in particular. At the moment, the old Vanua are chomping at the bit to get rid of each other. Like or dislike each other, if the old Takali can stick together for the next few votes, they’ve got this in the bag. Keep that majority, and ride it to the end. Granted, that’s not so good if you’re on the bottom of the old Takali, but if anything, Sunday is is the best position of the old Takali. She’s well liked, and so has a chance of winning no matter WHO she’s up against, and while she seems to be firmly in the Chris and Bret camp at this point, she could still potentially swing over to the Jessica, David, and Ken camp. Or, she could let all but one old Vanua go, and then use that old Vanua member along with Chris and Bret to gain a majority and a guaranteed finals spot, where again, she would have a decent chance at winning. Certainly there’s something to be said for making a big move and bolstering your resume, but as this season has demonstrated, one must wait for the proper timing. For Sunday, this is throwing out the baby with the bathwater, to use an old cliche.

But I want to like Sunday! QUICK! Cut to even worse gameplay! Oh, good, Adam is trying to ease tensions with his enemies again, that should be worse. Sure enough, Adam proves to us yet again that he can’t have more than one good soothing moment per episode, and ends up talking with Jay out in the water. Still bitter about the Mari vote, Adam gives him a “How’s it feel to be on the bottom?” talk, and while I do think Jay exaggerates QUITE how much of an asshole Adam is being here, I can’t deny that it’s not really Adam’s smartest play, and he does come off as kind of an ass in this case. Admittedly, Adam is at least not playing both sides of the fence, or at least is being more subtle about it, but the damage on him just keeps getting worse. Again, while making enemies of eventual jurors is a categorically bad thing, in the case of people like Jay and Taylor, it was inevitable due to the Figgy vote. But when Jay goes to complain about Adam to the group, thereby taking the talk away from Will’s sobriety for a minute, Hannah and Zeke join in on what an asshole Adam can be. When your CLOSEST ALLIES don’t like you, your chances of winning are shot. I still personally like Adam. As someone who’s got a naturally loud voice, I can relate to the whole “shouting in confessionals” thing, and I like how focussed he is on pure strategy. Mind you, the latter point is part of his downfall, but I’ll be talking about that when we get to Tribal Council. My point is that I’ve accepted the fact that Adam will not be winning this season. He may make it to the end, but I don’t see him really acquiring the votes necessary to win it all. Enjoyable to watch, but not good for winning.

After a really pretty sunrise, we see that Sunday’s quest is not done, as she goes to Jay about the possibility of using him, Will, and Taylor to blindside Jessica, which Jay agrees to, as he doesn’t have many options at this point. What is interesting to note here, though, is that this is further proof that Hannah, Zeke, and Adam going with the old Takali was the right move. Unlike Jay, Taylor, Will, and Michelle, who were a tight, nigh-unbreakable foursome, the old Takali, while in greater numbers, have difficulty working together. Push comes to shove, they’ll join for a vote, but those old divisions are there, and working in the favor of Adam, Zeke, and Hannah. It’d be one thing if the old Takali was a solid six who COULD be broken up by a good strategist, but this isn’t the doing of Adam, Hannah, or Zeke. The old Takali are doing this to themselves, with little to no outside prompting. Again, more evidence that Jay really is wrong in saying that the move last episode was a bad one.

Our immunity challenge is only slightly more remarkable than the reward challenge. A returning challenge from “Survivor South Pacific”, our tribe members hold a large wooden bow with a ball on top of it, while standing on a balance beam. At specific intervals, contestants will move down to a narrower section of the beam. If they fall off or the ball drops, they’re out. Last one standing wins. Pretty standard difficult endurance challenge. While it is a reused one, it isn’t overdone, and as it’s been five years since we’ve seen it, I’m willing to give it a pass in that regard. What DOES bug me are the bows. Could we put in at least a LITTLE work to make them look authentic. I know we’re kind of in the era of “Plastic ‘Survivor’”, but a little more effort would be appreciated.

Speaking of things from over five years ago, we bring back a twist no seen since “Survivor Redemption Island”, presumably put on hold to distance the show as much as possible from that God-awful season. If people want to, they can opt out of the challenge and eat grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, potato chips, and imbibe some soda and beer. Except for Will. He can’t have the beer. Just thought I’d clarify it.

Once again skipping over the important decision-making part of the challenge, we cut right to finding out that only Zeke and alcohol-free Will opted out, which makes sense, especially when you consider that you’ve got surfer dudes in the challenge, as our little puritan Will points out. I’m actually surprised MORE people didn’t drop out, though I applaud them their dedication to the game.

Normally I’d just skip right to the outcome of the challenge, but I do want to draw attention to one early drop out. Bret is out pretty early on, which is no surprise for a top-heavy guy, but the look of betrayal he gives the food and drink is just priceless. You know he just wanted to drive in the “Drunken Bostonian” stereotype a LITTLE BIT MORE, and instead has to settle for Will getting drunk. Oh, wait, I forgot, Will can’t drink alcohol. I guess Probst mentioning it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING CHALLENGE wasn’t enough of a reminder.

Ken ends up winning the challenge, which surprised me somewhat. This is a challenge that doesn’t favor the top-heavy, and as a man’s center of gravity is higher than a woman’s, I’d have expected one of the ladies to take it. Probably Jessica, given her performance in the previous immunity challenge. Granted, Ken is not the most top-heavy looking guy, but the center of gravity thing is still a problem. Frankly, all this means is that the immunity necklace will not impact the ultimate vote.

With talk of potential immunity idols JUST NOW coming up in our majority alliance, they agree to split the vote between Jay and Taylor. Frankly, it’s the smart move. There’s always a chance at a fracture, and splitting the vote makes it easier for the alliance to fracture, but even if two people defected to Jay’s side, making the vote 5-3-4, they’d still be down in numbers come next episode. Ultimately, the idol is a greater threat. Sunday is the only one not on board, due to wanting to use Jay, but she pulls on her big girl panties with Bret and agrees to go along with the smart move. At this point, really the only indicator that either Taylor or Jay ISN’T going home is the fact that David stated that either Taylor or Jay was going home. Usually, that means you’re safe.

As Sunday’s plan never really got off the ground, Jay and Taylor go in for one last smorgasbord before Tribal Council, where Taylor brings up that Nuclear Option he’d been talking about all episode. With Adam’s name being about as low as “General Grievous” with the pair, they agree to bring it up at Tribal Council, as a last-ditch effort to save themselves. Why they don’t bring it up BEFORE Tribal Council, when they’d be more likely to get the plan changed, is a mystery to me. I know we’ve seen plans change last minute at Tribal Council more and more over the recent seasons, but the tried and true method of getting one’s plan in place beforehand is still better.

I could take this time to talk about the good strategic double-talk, including subtle bringing up of the old Takali fractures by the old Takali, but I think our nuclear war takes precedence. While I’ve still little respect for Taylor, if you ARE going to invoke a Nuclear Option at Tribal Council, this is the way to do it. Rather than just spill the beans on Adam and hope for the best, Taylor first confesses his own food-stealing sins to the group (lumping Adam in with him in the process) so that Adam has no ammunition against him, and then tells the group about Adam’s reward steal. Taylor here is banking on the recency effect. True, he did something bad, and I’d argue something objectively worse, but by bringing up Adam second, the focus is more likely to be on Adam rather than him. Taylor also has the advantage of playing offense here. Taylor knows what he’s going to say, while Adam has to react, making his argument much less coherent. Adam, in contrast, comes off as desperately trying to salvage his reputation, admitting to most everything, but denying that he actually ate any of the food Taylor left. To make matters worse, Adam must once again do all this at full volume, making his desperation all the more apparent. All the while, Hannah tries to hide in her shirt from the awkwardness. The particular moment that highlights what makes this discussion so fascinating is Adam’s making the fair point that stealing a reward, particular the loved ones visit (which has been the crux of Taylor’s argument) ultimately doesn’t matter much in the game. Taylor points out that it affects people’s emotions, which are part of the game. Basically, Taylor is making an emotional argument. Objectively, what he did was worse, actively sabotaging a vital part of camp life, while Adam is potentially taking away something nice from something else. Adam, meanwhile, if focussing on the logic of it. In the end, his advantage isn’t much of an advantage, unless used properly, whereas Taylor has already committed an egregious offense. It’s two opposing styles of playing the game, and it’s quite dramatic to see them come to a head.

It also does a good job at highlighting what Adam’s problem in the game is. Adam is a strategist. A pretty good one too, apart from having all the subtlety of a foghorn, by which I of course mean no subtlety at all. But he’s a PURE strategist. And while “Survivor” is a strategy game, Adam seems to completely ignore the emotional aspect of the game, which is his downfall. At the end, if you can’t get people, even your own allies, to like you, you’ve got no chance at winning the game. You need both strategic intelligence and emotional intelligence. Adam has one, but not the other. Fun to watch, but ultimately a losing strategy.

Of course, the same argument could be made in reverse about Taylor, that he plays on all emotion, no logic. And that would be fair. But Taylor’s gone now, so I feel like that point is obvious.

So, what wins out in a battle of emotion vs. logic? Well, as should happen in a game of strategy, logic wins out. Taylor is sent home, which I think is the right move. True, Adam has been pretty well branded as untrustworthy by most everyone left, but he’s also been branded an asshole, making him less likely to get a counter alliance together. Therefore, he can be picked off at any time, or taken to the end as a goat. Conversely, Taylor is a likable challenge threat who could easily slip past the radar and make it to the end, even winning. Plus, I would like to remind you, the man actively sabotaged the tribe. He’s EARNED his exit. And no, I’m not sorry to see him go. Everything out of his mouth was just completely inane, and his “holier than thou” attitude that made him the stereotypical “Millennial” this season wanted just became SO ANNOYING! One could argue that he was good as someone to nag Adam, but given Adam’s current standing in the game, I’d argue that we have plenty of that. Like I said, ultimately the smart move. Our old Takali plus Adam, Zeke, and Hannah alliance has a good thing going. It may need to be shaken up, but it’s too soon.

This was a different episode for this season, and I mean that in a good way. For the first time, by NOT focussing on the “Millennials vs. Gen-X” thing, we got some intriguing debates with the emotion vs. logic thing, and we got to see both sides fracturing, with some good setups for episodes to come. Add onto that an explosive Tribal Council, and the running gag about Will not being allowed to engage in underage drinking, and you’ve got yourself one hell of an episode. So much so that it deserves a…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5

The merge episode is one of the more distinctive parts of the show, and a list of the best and the worst definitely bears talking about. We’re an episode late, I know, but somehow it feels like the right time to get to it. Really not much more to explain than that, so, too the list!

TOP 5

5. “Survivor MGX”: A bit of an obvious choice, given how I praised the last episode, but I think it does stand out as one of the greats over time. Granted, my personal “short list” I drew up wasn’t so short, but this merge just has a lot more little intriguing connections that bolstered it up above some of the other choices. Really, the main thing that hurts it is that this is season 33, and so we’ve seen a lot of these plotlines done before, but this season did it well enough that it earned at least a number 5 spot.

4. “Survivor Cook Islands”: Two things set this merge above others: strategy and misdirection. When people think of the good parts of this season, they mainly think of Ozzy’s challenge dominance and Yul’s strategy. Both are prominently displayed in this merge, particularly Yul’s strategy. This is where we get him persuading Jonathan Penner to flip back over, and it’s just as good as you remember it. And while it was clear from the beginning that the Aitu Four would make a comeback here, the episode actually did a really good job of keeping us in the dark as to who would flip. We got Yul working Penner, but we also got Ozzy and Nate (yes, I’m sure there was a “Nate” on the season) bonding, and a potential flip there. Go back and give it a watch. I guarantee it’s a better episode than you remember.

3. “Survivor South Pacific”: Again, while a bit obvious, we had a really good resolution to a storyline here. Cochran overcoming the bullying of the old Savaii and changing up the entire game was really well built up here, and thanks to the narration of Coach, was really well put-together. Plus, we basically got our setup for the rest of the game, which made things exceptionally interesting.

2. “Survivor The Australian Outback”: Merges with food temptation are always fun, plus we had Jeff Varner get voted out over peanut butter, which is hilarious (except to him, of course). But it’s that dramatic ending that really makes the difference. One vote, from the first episode mind you, deciding the outcome of the course of the game is quite a big finish. Though, it’s not quite as big as our number one spot.

1. “Survivor Borneo”: This is one episode where I can’t disagree with the early season purists. Holding the record for most individuals to receive votes at a single Tribal Council, this could be argued as the true birth of “Survivor” strategy, given that a popular but threatening survivalist ultimately got the axe. Even as someone who was used to threats going at the merge, this still shocked even me. Seeing Gretchen go was just that powerful. And the mystery of strategy vs. emotions, much like with this current episode, made for compelling storytelling that has yet to be beaten.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor All-Stars”: Much like the season as a whole, this merge is a mix of entertaining and painful. We got heated personal discussions, and ultimately the less-likable characters (and Rupert) winning out. What gives it an honorable mention? That look on Lex’s face when Kathy keeps her immunity. That look alone deserves mention. I’m surprised there isn’t a meme of it.

BOTTOM 5

5. “Survivor Tocantins”: Rarely is there a “bad” merge on “Survivor”, and even calling the Tocantins merge “bad” is a bit of disrespect. “Underwhelming” might be a better word. We got some obvious strategizing, and good setup for later on, but no real fireworks to stand out. Plus, due to Joe’s medical evacuation, we were robbed of even having a dramatic vote to tend the episode. That alone is what sinks this merge to the “Bottom 5” list.

4. “Survivor Nicaragua”: If the merge on “Survivor Tocantins” has the sin of being underwhelming, then this one has the sin of being incomprehensible. Alina? The person we’ve seen next to none of is the one who goes home? That’s just not the stuff of legend, and really not what a merge should be.

3. “Survivor Cambodia”: Perhaps a more personal choice, but the sudden attack on Kass this episode was a real turn-off. I won’t say she did NOTHING to deserve the boot (she did piss off majority leader Andrew Savage at the previous Tribal Council after all), but like with “Survivor All-Stars”, the personal attacks, in this case between Kass and Tasha, really just brought the whole thing down. With too many people to be truly comprehensible, and no hilarious Lex-face to compensate, this one just doesn’t stand up in the end.

2. “Survivor Thailand”: While I often complain of the merge happening too early in more recent seasons, I will concede that the merge can happen too late as well. Such is the case here. With the old Chuay Gahn up 5-3, this just became a predictable Pagonging, brought down further by the slimy Brian Heidik winning the reward challenge, and us having to, unfortunately, learn more about his personal life. Gag.

1. “Survivor Guatemala”: Yes, even one of my personal favorite seasons, and one that I feel gets a bad reputation, does have the worst merge. The one real criticism I’ve seen levied against this season, apart from being forgettable, was that the cast was largely made up of assholes. I personally take this as mostly people being butthurt about Stephenie LaGrossa, who was America’s sweetheart after “Survivor Palau” showing her more strategic side, and people being unhappy that she wasn’t as pure and wholesome as they thought. In this episode, though, I can kind of see their point. The majority tribe at the merge usually has some power of the minority, but the second iteration of Nakum REALLY came down hard on the second iteration of Yaxha here. It didn’t help that the (admittedly intriguing) twist of opting out of the challenge for food was introduced her. While a good twist in general, this one served to highlight the tribe division, making non-assholes seem like assholes, and the assholes seem like bigger assholes. Not even a really cool immunity challenge can redeem an episode where most everyone is unlikeable and the bad guys win.

Honorable Mention: “Survivor Worlds Apart”: Really, there’s not a whole lot to hate about this merge. By and large, it’s just kind of standard. In fact, it almost didn’t make either list. Then I remembered that THIS was the season that gave us “Merica” for the merge tribe name. Still don’t know what they were thinking.

Bad merges aside, this episode of the current season was still really good. Those plotlines we saw starting in this episode seem to be growing, so hopefully intrigue will be the order of the day!

Will still can’t drink alcohol.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.

Idol Speculation: “Survivor Kaoh Rong” Finale: Everybody Hates Cydney

Say what you will about the finale of “Survivor Kaoh Rong”, but in my opinion, it was entertaining. Sure, it was pretty bog-standard at times, and sure, where it DID deviate from the norm were areas that would be pretty controversial. But it was still hilarious. And, as the title may indicate, our highlight of the night was once again the result of a fire-making challenge at the final four.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, and start back at the beginning, where Mark the Chicken threatens his own life in the game by waking everybody up at oh-dark-thirty in the morning. Tai, no fan of the snooze button, takes Mark out for a cuddle session by the beach, where he talks about his drive to win the game, and while it’s a confessional we’ve seen a million times before, it’s still kind of sweet. Around this time, we also get more of a “Michele is determined” confessional, which is unsurprising and uninteresting.

Once dawn has actually broken, we get to hear some strategy from Aubry and Tai. The pair agree to stick together (smart for both of them, since Aubry needs a solid ally, and Tai needs the girls not to stick together and get him out), and correctly decide to target Michele. The grounds for this, rather than Michele being the biggest jury threat after Aubry, is that Cydney’s the person most likely to be swayed to their side. Not the only logic I’d expect from this crew, but I can definitely see their point in this matter. Either way, the pair come up with the best option for both of them.

At our reward challenge, we get our first misstep: Copying “Survivor Worlds Apart”. Granted, if you’re going to copy an element from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, this challenge is one to do it on. Each contestant slides tiles with numbers on one side, line patterns on the other, into a hole, hitting a pan. Once all their tiles are slid, they must carry as many as possible on the flat of a machete to a finish table. There, they pair up matching line patterns, using the numbers from the three unique tiles to open a combination lock, winning reward. While I do wish we got an original challenge, as always, this one is a pretty good one to do, bringing in a nice “do it yourself” aesthetic, but having several fun stages to watch. I’ll let it slide this time.

While our challenge comes from “Survivor Worlds Apart”, our reward comes circa “Survivor Exile Island”. It’s a full-course meal with a protein bar added on for somewhat of a comedic effect. A pretty good reward to have (though not the best we’ll see tonight), and it’s not a game-breaker like a challenge advantage, so I’m happy there. I’m also happy that we get a pretty even challenge overall, though Aubry ends up taking the lead to win. While she does lose a lot of it, due to a mistake in the pattern matching, she ends up winning the challenge overall, good for her. And, of course, Probst offers her the chance to bring somebody along for the ride. After a bit of thought, Aubry chooses Cydney, which, contrary to what Michele will say later, I say is the correct decision. She and Tai were talking about needing to bring Michele into the fold, and what better way to do so than by sharing a feast with her? On top of this, if the goal is for Michele not to win immunity, then you want to maximize those chances by bringing someone along, and in terms of challenge ability, Cydney is the clear choice.

The food works its magic, and Cydney hops right on board with Aubry. She admits she’s playing in the middle, which frankly is what she should be doing, but she also says her “ideal” final three would be herself, Aubry, and Tai, so that seems pretty definitive to me. As I said last week, and will continue to say this episode, Cydney has played an excellent game overall, having a very good read on people, and always making sure she has a backup plan to stay in power. But if I WERE to find a flaw in it, apart from perhaps moving away from the old To Tang when she would have been pretty well guaranteed final three against less-likable players, it would be this here. Aubry and Tai should NOT be Cydney’s idea final three. Michele and Aubry should be. At this point, with how many days there are left, we have to assume that there’s going to be a final two at this point. Whether Cydney can win against anybody left, I don’t know, but your primary goal going into a final three should be to have people who will take you to the end on either side of you, thus lowering the pressure on that final immunity challenge. Going with Aubry and Tai means that you’re stuck with at least one person who won’t take you regardless (Tai), and one person who sees you as a threat (Aubry). Going with Aubry and Michele means that you have your biggest competition angling to get each other out, rather than yourself. BOOM! Guaranteed spot at Final Tribal Council. Keep that in mind. The food is working its magic.

Back at the camp, we’re in reruns, as Michele points out to Tai that they’re on the bottom, and that perhaps they ought to work together to oust Aubry. This is also where Michele criticizes Aubry’s taking of Cydney on reward, and again, I have to disagree. You’re pissing off two people regardless, and since there’s no way Aubry is taking you, she’s going to be leaving someone behind to plot with you regardless. Better to leave Tai behind, since he’s more firmly on her side. Just like last episode, Tai talks about it being an individual game, and how he may need to flip on Aubry for his own benefit, but this time I don’t buy it. Once bitten, twice shy, but if Tai wasn’t going to flip on Aubry when he was pissed off and it was in his best interest, no way he does so now.

Not done with our repetition of “Survivor Worlds Apart”, the immunity challenge is ALSO a repeat of a challenge from that season. Running to a platform in the water, contestants take a key back to shore and unlock a ladder, which leads to second key, which unlocks a ball and rope, which they use to pull down a ladder, which leads to a third key, which unlocks a pole with which to push off a bag of puzzle pieces, which then must be used to solve a puzzle to win immunity. An overly complicated challenge, and overall just kind of dull, though I’ll admit that the puzzle is nicely different, and the stairs and ladder unfolding was kind of cool to watch.

As with a lot of boring challenges, it’s saved with a good bit of back-and-forth. Aubry once again takes an early lead, but stumbles on the puzzle, while Tai and Cydney trade places a lot, and Michele oddly slows down on the physical portions of the challenge. That doesn’t matter as much, though, as Michele comes back to win immunity! A nice win on her part, but probably the worst possible outcome for Aubry. Now that her primary target is gone, she herself is likely to become a target, and at the very least, she’ll have to vote out someone who’d likely take her to the final two.

Sure enough, as soon as we get back to camp, the wheels start turning. True to her word about keeping her options open, when Michele broaches the subject of getting rid of Aubry, Cydney jumps right on board. We don’t see her advocate for getting rid of Tai, which at this point would probably be her best move, but since it seems like Michele wouldn’t go for that anyway, it’s probably not that big of a deal. And Aubry is a real threat, so might as well get her out anyway.

Tai, on the other hand, is not so easily swayed. We get some lip service to the fact that he MAY decide to just keep it simple and vote for Aubry, but with the way he and Aubry talk, plus the history they’ve had together, you can tell it’s not going to happen, and a tie (or a Tai, if you will), is going to be forced. If you needed any big evidence for it, look no further than the notable conversation where Cydney asks Michele if she ought to practice making fire, and Michele says no. If that wasn’t epic foreshadowing for a fire-making challenge, as well as for the outcome, I don’t know what is.

That particular Tribal Council, in a rarity for the season, is pretty ho-hum, though to be fair, we all know it’s just window-dressing for the main event. Sure enough, we get our promised tie, and Cydney and Aubry, the two allies, just duke it out in a fire-making challenge. And let me tell you, this is the highlight of the episode. Oh, not because it’s incredibly close like the battle between Bobby Jon and Stephenie on “Survivor”, nor is it hilariously bad like the one on “Survivor Cook Islands”, but for the jury’s reaction. The whole “Jury may not interact with players.” rule has varied in how strictly it’s enforced, and this is by no means the most emotive jury we’ve ever seen, but this was really lopsided in how the jurors wanted it to go. I mean, I know Cydney made some enemies on the jury, but she was just REVILED by most of them. Granted, it was kind of funny that Cydney’s fire never really even got off the ground, but this was really a case of “Burn the witch!” level of ill will towards Cydney.

In the end, the jury gets their wish, and Cydney gets the axe. Especially after that trashing she took from the jury, I have to say it’s a loss. As I said, Cydney’s game may not have been the strongest out of everyone left, but that’s more of a testament to the strength of the others games than to any weakness in Cydney’s game. She played hard, and by and large she played well, and so will be missed. That said, if someone had to go at this time, she was probably the least interesting person left, and the least likely to win, so from that perspective, it’s the least of all evils. As I say, though, no disrespect there for Cydney. She has well earned a good spot in “Survivor” history.

Michele, naturally, is upset back at the camp, given that people are only NOW starting to realize that this season is going to be a final two rather than a final three. The three try and console each other, repeating over and over that there CAN’T be any more votes, and that they’re at the end. Frankly, I’m sick of it! Look, wishful thinking is one thing, but this is just denying the facts! Sometimes the game doesn’t work out the way you want it to, and that can be frustrating, but there’s no sense in denying it!

See? There’s tree-mail right now telling you to go for your final challenge, and now you’ll have to do the hard work of deciding who to go to the end with. Probst is taking off the necklace, once and for all confirming that… they’re the final three and will go on to plead their case at Final Tribal Council?

Please hold for a moment while the blogger goes and puts his brain back in. It fell out due to being improperly secured during that sharp turn.

POP! Ok, so yes, the optimists were right, and this is a final three. Have to admit, I didn’t see that coming. They got me. Good one. Granted, I generally prefer final twos over final threes, and so am a bit frustrated in that regard, but, due to how impressed I am at the producers pulling the wool over our eyes so, I have a hard time being frustrated at it. Plus, what we get instead is also really cool.

Yes, for once Probst’s grandstanding about “A ‘Survivor’ First!” was not, in fact, grandstanding, but the real deal. Rather than play for immunity, our players instead play for the right to kick one member off the jury. They’ll leave Tribal Council, be sequestered so they can’t unduly influence the votes, and get no say at the Final Tribal Council. Now, I know for a fact that this twist has some backlash, and I can’t pretend it’s not without merit. Something just seems unfair about putting some poor schmo on the jury only to have his or her last moment in the sun ripped away on the whim of one player. It goes against what seems to be at the core of normal “Survivor”. I, on the other hand, really like this twist! True, it does seem to fundamentally change “Survivor” from what we knew, but frankly, a good twist will do that. Personally, I see this as merely adding a new layer of jury management, and like it better than, say, a “challenge advantage”, because it’s less of a guarantee, and requires brains to be used smartly. So yeah, I think this is a cool idea! Wouldn’t want to see it used EVERY season, but if they brought it back, I wouldn’t complain.

The challenge itself? Well, in a fitting parallel to the beginning of the season, the past has come back to haunt our contestants. You remember how the first immunity challenge had a choice of a puzzle or a stacking end, and nobody did stacking? Well, not being ones to waste an opportunity, that horrible stacking option is now the final challenge of this season. You could avoid it temporarily, but not entirely, if you made it to the end. Even though it’s not an immunity challenge, and it’s visually boring, this is probably my favorite final challenge in a while. Though not exactly endurance, it’s not a strength challenge, and seems tough enough to be worthy of coming last in a season. Plus, as I said, the parallels to the beginning of the season are a nice touch.

Once again, we get a good back and forth challenge, and once again Michele edges out the competition, leaving her with the decision of who to vote off. Talking with Tai, Michele reveals to no one’s surprise that her primary target is Joe, due to being an unpersuadable Aubry vote, which makes perfect logical sense. Michele also considers taking out Neal, since he’s also a likely Aubry vote, but with more persuasive skills than Joe. Not bad logic, and Tai certainly pushes evicting Neal, but I’m inclined to say that Joe is still the better option. Not that Neal is a BAD option, since he is probably an Aubry vote, but I feel like Neal would be more open to persuasive arguments than Joe would. I hear the argument about Neal being able to persuade others, but, much as the show would have us believe that Final Tribal Council votes can be swayed, I feel like, with maybe a few jurors as exceptions, everyone’s vote is locked in by the time we get to Tribal Council. So, I say go with the least-persuadable sure vote against you.

Aubry being Aubry, of course, does not let one of her jury advocates go so easily. She attempts to switch the vote on to Scot, since he’s deemed “Most likely to give a bitter speech.”, which Michele seems to consider, but I’m not buying it. Michele has played logically pretty much the entire game, and logic dictates that Aubry, being Michele’s biggest threat, needs to have any sure votes for her taken away.

With fewer stakes, and a more predictable outcome, this Tribal Council is also little to write home about, though again, the vocalizations of the jury are a joy to watch, and we do get a bit of a spat near the end. Unsurprisingly, Michele goes for Neal, who was far more of an Aubry advocate than I though, REALLY tearing Michele apart as he leaves, comparing her to a suckling puppy. I get that Neal was an Aubry fan, and that he didn’t really get to see Michele’s game, but that was HARSH, man! For all that I am an Aubry fan, and think that of those remaining, her game was the best, Michele is still not to be disrespected. She played both sides of the fence masterfully from behind the scenes, and was incredibly flexible. She makes an excellent winner for the season. Maybe not the BEST possible winner, but excellent nonetheless.

Since it’s nigh-on impossible to find new things to talk about on Day 39, Tai, Aubry, and Michele pretty much just give us the standard confessionals you’d expect at this point in the game. Michele has the “I’ve played a good game.” confessional, Tai the “I love the game so much.” confessional, and Aubry the “I’ve learned so much!” confessional, mixed with a little bit of “Good game” confessional as well. Hopefully Tribal Council will be more interesting.

Sad to say, but it’s not. While by no means the worst we’ve ever seen, I don’t feel it really merits a blow-by-blow, especially since we’re going to have a lot to cover following the end of the episode itself. So, without further ado, here are some highlights:

-Even though he had perhaps the least to say out of anybody, Nick arrogance still managed to shine through. His “question” basically amounted to a preschooler’s guide to Final Tribal Council, with a little bit of personal advice thrown in for the players. Frankly, I wouldn’t have bothered noting it were it not for the fact that the image of Nick teaching preschoolers about “Survivor” makes me laugh.

-I’ll admit, the show got me one more time tonight. Julia’s question had me fooled. What everyone (including myself) saw as a locked “Michele” vote starts lambasting Michele in her question, talking about her early-game weakness. She turned it around of course, but it was still a well-done fake-out.

-With regards to that, actually, Michele’s answer to that was pretty bad, I thought. She and Aubry both gave pretty good Final Tribal Council performances overall, but while Aubry was maybe less exciting overall, she was more consistent. Rather than try and say that she wasn’t as weak as she seemed early game, Michele owned up to it and used it instead. This lead to the emotionally punctuating moments that Aubry didn’t have that may have clinched Michele’s win, but still, it seemed like Michele was admitting that she was kind of pathetic early on, and not in a good way. Just an odd choice to me.

-So, for all that worry about Scot being a bitter juror who might shake things up, he ends with… a hula dance. Oooh-kayyyy…

-And yeah, sending off Mark the Chicken was a nice farewell to the season. Good for you, show.

As I’ve been hinting at, Michele ends up winning in a 5-2 vote, and I have thoughts on that, believe me, but first, let us talk briefly about the reunion show, which, while not as bad as the reunion show of “Survivor Caramoan”, is still pretty bad. Too much time spent on celebrities, and not enough time with the contestants. So many unanswered questions. Who voted for whom? What do the pre-merge boots think about everything? What would Neal have asked at Final Tribal Council? And what did Cydney have to think about everything? Seriously, I can kind of get the logic in ignoring the pre-merge boots, even if I think it’s a douchey move, but ignoring CYDNEY? The lady who was a MAJOR influence on the course of the game, and even made the final episode, doesn’t even get a QUESTION at the reunion show? I’m so angry at this, I’m going to switch to text-speak. WTF, MAN?

Oh, and of course we also get our preview for next season. It’s going to be called “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X”.

Ha ha! No seriously, what’s it going to be called! This can’t be the actual title! It sounds like a MAD TV parody?

This isn’t a joke? It’s the actual title and theme of next season Hoo boy, where to begin?

Well, I suppose to start off, THIS IS A STUPID TITLE! We’ve had “versus” titles before, but those have been succinct and roll off the tongue. This title lolls around like it’s on a bunch of painkillers. Secondly, the theme is stupid. Apart from seeming more gimmicky than other tribe divisions, it basically amounts to diving the tribes by age. Which you already did. “Survivor Nicaragua.” Yeah, remember how that went? Granted, I’ve always said the concept could be done better, and maybe this season will give us that, but still, if you were going to reuse an idea, why this one? And, thirdly, THIS IS A STUPID TITLE! Seriously, even “Survivor Worlds Apart” knew not to call itself “Survivor White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar”! It’s not even like finding a good title was hard. Here, I’ll give you one right now: “Survivor Generations” Is it lame? Sure. But it’s still better than “Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X”! Hell, from now on, I’m referring to it as “Survivor MGX”. I am NOT typing out that title week after week!

Ah, but that’s a rant to have next season, and a long way off in the future, so for now, we’ll just pretend it doesn’t exist. For now, it’s time to talk about the big issue of this season: the winner. Well, I say “issue”, but really, “controversy” would be a better word, because surprisingly enough, I don’t have much of an issue with Michele winning. As I have said before, and will say again, Michele played a great, if subtle, game. She never gave, up, was able to adequately play the middle without taking flak for it, and took risks. Is she the person I think SHOULD have won? No, of course not. As an avowed Aubry fan, I stand behind the fact that Aubry played the best game of the three. Aubry faced setback after setback, yet still came into positions of power, and was the driving force behind a number of flips and votes in the game. Had she won, she would have earned it. But Michele earned her win as well, I don’t begrudge her that. In my mind, this is not a case of the jury getting anything “wrong”, or of an “undeserving winner”, partly because in the case of the latter, I don’t take “deserving” into account, because I don’t think it’s a thing that should really come into play on “Survivor”. Both Aubry and Michele played great games, and while I think Aubry’s was better, Michele did not “steal” the game from Aubry, as some have claimed. She played a good game as well, and it earned her a win.

Still, the question remains: Why Michele over Aubry? We can only speculate, but there are some reasons being touted that I have to just dismiss. Some argue that Neal’s elimination cost Aubry the win, which I think is absurd. he would have been one more Aubry vote, but that’s still only three for her, so Michele wins either way. Contrary to what the show says, I DON’T buy the indecisiveness on the part of people like Jason, so I don’t think Neal’s presence would have drastically changed the outcome. Nor do I buy the conspiracy that the producers implemented the “remove a juror” twist last-minute to prevent a tie. Maybe I’m naive, but I tend to give the producers the benefit of a doubt on things like this, and attribute it to “Survivor” luck that they tend to work out well. Look at the mutiny twist from “Survivor Thailand” as an example of implementing a twist and having it go wrong. Did Aubry put the wrong people on the jury? Again, I have to say I don’t think so. Recall that even some of the people who voted against Aubry, like Jason and Scot, were complimenting her right before they were voted out. That seems like the sort of person you’d want on the jury, so how was Aubry supposed to have known? Was this a “bitter jury”? What evidence is there for it? There was no ranting about people’s games being ruined, nor any tirades from anyone but Neal, who wasn’t even there. That, to me, says no bitterness, especially since there IS a case for Michele’s game. No, I think it was a combination of two factors that did Aubry in this time, both of which were, to a degree, out of her control. The first was the tightness of Jason, Julia, and Scot. I’ll admit this was a failing on my part, but while I knew that Julia was definitely in Michele’s corner, I counted on Jason and Scot being free agents come Final Tribal Council. I should have realized that tight in-game usually means tight on-jury. I think wherever Julia went, Jason and Scot would follow, so that’s three Michele votes right off the bat. A hard hill to overcome. Had Aubry voted out Michele post-merge, or Julia pre-merge, things might have been different, but in the case of the latter, there’s no telling how things would have unfolded from there, and I can see why Aubry didn’t consider Michele a threat, since her game was so on the down-low. Second, and I think most important, is timing. Both Aubry and Michele had a “rising from underdogdom” narrative to work with, and I’d say both used it to great effect. I would say that Aubry’s story overcame greater odds and had greater successes, but that’s just me. The advantage that did Aubry is is when her story peaked. Aubry showed her true self right around the Scot vote, fairly late in the game, but it made the back half of her game seems somewhat weaker. In comparison, Michele’s big moments mostly came at the end, what with getting Neal off the jury and surviving Tai’s double-vote. This makes Michele’s successes more recent, and therefore more prescient in the minds of the jury. Again, not saying that that’s ALL Michele had going for her, but I think it ultimately tipped the scales.

Even without the ideal outcome, though, this was still a great season! While maybe not as big in terms of characters as its predecessor, “Survivor Cambodia”, it still gave us a lot of likable people with really excellent strategy and fun blindsides! What more could you ask for in a season of “Survivor”? I know some complain that the players weren’t as over the top or as likable this season as others, but I’d counter that you can’t expect every season to top the previous one. It’s just not realistic. As it stands, what we got, while admittedly probably not the stuff of “Survivor” legend, is still upper-echelon “Survivor”, and I look forward to seeing many of these players back in the future!

But, before we leave these players for a while, let us reflect back on my stupidity in my rankings pre-season, and find out where I went wrong.

Peter: I may have given him too much credit, and slightly overestimated his time in the game, but I nailed him otherwise.

Aubry: Her personality I got, but I should have gone with my heart rather than my head on her time in the game. She lived up to, and often surpassed, my greatest expectations.

Joe: Wrong, but in my defense, those biographies and introduction videos make everyone seem more exciting. How was I to know he’d be the new Julia Landauer (“Survivor Caramoan”)?

Neal: Wrong, obviously. I think he had what it takes, but he never really got the chance to show it off, and so went a lot earlier than expected.

Liz: She seemed to have what I thought she would, but was a target much earlier than I guessed.

Debbie: Definitely kookier than I would have thought, but she still acquitted herself very well. Better than I thought, anyway.

Cydney: Dead wrong. There were ASPECTS of her character, particularly early on, that lined up with how I thought she’d play, but she was WAY smarter and made it WAY farther than I would have said. Still, if I’m going to be wrong, this is a good way to be wrong!

Darnell: Wrong. Much less socially aware, and much shorter lived than I thought.

Alecia: She did give me a reason for that “tough” description, but I was still wrong about how long she’d last.

Jason: Wrong. He was dramatic, but in a way that gelled with his tribe, and so made it much farther than I predicted.

Jennifer: I predicted neither her neuroticism nor her early exit. Wrong, but fun.

Scot: He was MAYBE a bit smarter than I predicted, but I’m giving myself this one overall. He left about when I though, and played about how I thought.

Anna: I try and give the “pro poker player” occupation the benefit of a doubt, and look what happens! Wrong!

Nick: Well, he was an arrogant douchebag and left the first time he was vulnerable, so TECHNICALLY, I was right.

Caleb: Right on personality, wrong on time in the game. Then again, how could I have predicted his medevac?

Julia: Wrong. While I can’t say she was any more interesting than I thought, she did make it very far, and was pretty good strategically.

Tai: Wrong. He was far more flexible than I would have thought, and lasted longer for it.

Michele: If there’s one consolation to Michele’s win, it’s that I CALLED IT! NEENER NEENER NEENER!

As I said before, good cast, good season. My feeling overall is that people like this season less than I do, and the success of Aubry probably has something to do with my inflated score, but even taking that into account, I think this season stands on its own. It has a lot of strategy right from the get-go, has generally likable heroes who end up succeeding in the end, and even if it’s not ground-breaking, it’s still solid. This season was under-hyped before it began, and I think now I understand why the medevacs were emphasized over the gameplay. While quite good, the gameplay still wasn’t groundbreaking, whereas the medevacs were something we don’t see every season, and for good reason (though Probst attributing all of them to heat was an error on his part). Thus, you want to emphasize the most unique aspect of your season, to make it stand out. Granted, I think they still could have talked about a season of “heroes and villains, and epic blindsides” along with the medevacs, but I can definitely see from a marketing standpoint why they might not be what you want to emphasize.

If nothing else, this season has given me one thing that I love, and therefore it’s time for another…

TOP 5 AND BOTTOM 5!

Today, we’re talking about my personal favorite contestants of all time. Not the best ones, just the ones I enjoy watching the most and least. Guess who ends up on the list from this season.

TOP 5

5. Rupert Boneham (“Survivor Pearl Islands”): Like I said, this list is for the people I enjoy watching the most, not the people I think played the best games overall. In fact, Rupert is maybe the best exemplar there is of how good gameplay does not automatically equate to entertainment value for me. Despite having next to no strategy, and generally getting carried along for being an easy vote, Rupert is still a fun guy to watch. You can tell that he’s trying to live every minute he can to the best that he can, is over the top and hilarious, and I admire his stick-to-it spirit. He’s one of the guys who got me into “Survivor”, and I owe him for that, plus I can identify with the “fat little picked-on kid” thing. That said, Rupert does fall low on the list because of his overall poor gameplay, and the fact that we’ve seen too much of him overall. Three times was all he needed. Still, he’s so over-the-top and crazy fun that you can understand why he got brought back so often.

4. Stephen Fishbach (“Survivor Tocantins”): Stephen perhaps best exemplifies what I generally like in an entertaining “Survivor” character. He’s smart, but a little neurotic. Witty, but can take jokes and potshots at himself as easily as others. Stephen played a really fascinating game, making alliances with people you wouldn’t expect him to bond with, and showing himself to be tougher than even he thought, making him intensely compelling. His second showing wasn’t as good as I had hoped, but he was still a lot of fun to watch, even if it was at the expense of his misery.

3. Kass McQuillen (“Survivor Cagayan”): Put down the hate sticks, this is my list! What can I say, I think “older” ladies (within the context of the show old, not actually old) who can still be strategic are incredibly compelling. They, in general, are the ultimate contradiction in terms, the supreme underdog. Many like Kass simply for her snarky comments and seemingly no sense of social grace, but for me, I like that she has hidden depths. Look a little deeper and you’ll see a woman who knows a lot more than she lets on, and is able to at times fool even the audience. That means that, no matter what you watch her for, you’ll always get a surprise. Plus, she had that incredible come-from-behind victory on the puzzle. That, in my book, helps make a great character.

2. John Cochran (“Survivor South Pacific”): Pretty much the previous contestant I identify most with. Cochran exemplifies all things that are “nerdy”, at least within the context of “Survivor”. he could reference just as well, if not better, than the rest of the audience, and as seen in his second outing, the guy really did know his way around the game. Granted, his antics did sometimes descend into self-parody, and that keeps him from the top spot of this list, but even keeping that in mind, he’s still a character like no other, and in many ways, a really good one.

1. Aubry Bracco (“Survivor Kaoh Rong”): Yes, she of the numerous “Survivor” comparisons has won me over. It’s fitting that they showed the tweet of her cosplaying as Cochran at the reunion show, since that’s what ultimately won me over. No, I don’t want to have sex with Cochran, but it did bring home to me that Aubry, in many ways, was Cochran, but with more social graces and less of a stereotype. She made references, but didn’t go overboard with them overall. More than that, though, Aubry was once again a good underdog story. Someone who had arguably some of the worst luck “Survivor” could shower upon you, yet kept digging and somehow would up in the end. Sure, she didn’t win, but that’s how the game goes sometimes. For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed her, and look forward to seeing her in the future.

Honorable Mention: Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien (“Survivor Marquesas”): If Aubry is Cochran with more social graces, then in many ways, Kathy is Kass with more social graces. Another “older” lady who didn’t seem to belong out there, yet somehow weaseled her way into the end with some solid gameplay moments along the way. Kathy also has a good underdog story arc, being one of the best examples of people learning to play as they go, and being very likable on top of that. Two things keep her from the list proper. Partly, she’s not as intellectual as someone like Kass, and it’s a personal preference, but I prefer watching intellect to outdoor skills. Second, and more important, she falls outside my “nostalgia zone”. I watched “Survivor Marquesas” many years after it had aired, so I don’t hold much special attachment to the season. If I did, Kathy might have supplanted Rupert on the list, but Rupert has that nostalgia factor, and just edges her out. She’s still awesome, though.

BOTTOM 5

5. Roger Sexton (“Survivor The Amazon”): This is a case where my rage would probably be much higher if I had a nostalgic attachment to this season. As it stands, though, sexism will not be rewarded, except with a spot on the “Bottom 5”. “Battle of the Sexes” seasons seem to bring out the worst tendencies in male “Survivor” contestants, but Roger exemplifies that, in a sense, by being the least extreme about it. Rather than be an affected, over-the-top sexism, Roger just seems casually sexist in general, pretty much ignoring the women come the merge. In some ways, though, this is worse, since it makes it seem as though this is how Roger really is, rather than an exaggerated character. This, in my eyes, makes him an awful human being, and hard to watch as a result.

4. Kat Edorsson (“Survivor One World”): I’ve had many a rant about this young lady, so I’ll be brief here. While there are exceptions to this rule, I generally like my characters intellectually stimulating and witty. Kat is the opposite of this. She, as a character, exemplifies every stereotype associated with the valley girl. She is stupid, vapid, and unfunny, which is perhaps the worst indictment of all. She’s not an awful human being, like some on this list are, but she’s no fun to watch either.

3. “Purple Kelly” (“Survivor Nicaragua”): Technically, she’s a stand in for everyone who gives up on “Survivor”, but still justified in that Kelly Shinn, aka “Purple Kelly”, exemplifies my problem with this type of character. People quitting, at this point in the series, was nothing new, but people who brought nothing, and gave up under the lamest of circumstances, are wasted space. You can’t help but think “that spot could have gone to someone worthy!”, and it’s pretty hard to like someone when you’re thinking that.

2. Phillip Sheppard (“Survivor Redemption Island”): My problem with Phillip may not be his fault, but, to paraphrase the man himself, “He annoys me greatly.” The man took time away from actual interesting people to go off and act crazy, and I don’t mean that in the racist way. Phillip, rather than talk strategy, garbled crazy philosophy, and THOUGHT he was talking strategy. Especially in his first outing, the man did NOTHING to merit being cast on the season, yet the marketing department kept coming back to him as this “hilarious” ball of comedy. Which he wasn’t. I hope I’ve made that clear.

1. Russell Hantz (“Survivor Samoa”): And so, we come to the ultimate delusion of grandeur. Like with Kat, I feel as though I’ve talked about this a number of times, so I’ll be brief. Russell is basically a grown up whiny little kid who grossly overestimates himself, then bitches and moans when things don’t go his way. He has no respect for the game, is misogynistic, simplistic, and a leech on our viewing time. May he be gone from our screens forever.

Honorable Mention: Colton Cumbie (“Survivor One World”): Colton was basically another Russell Hantz, although he focussed more on racism than sexism, and amped the whininess up to a whole new level. I leave him off the list because, after the tragic and unfortunate death of his fiancee, Caleb Bankstown (“Survivor Blood vs. Water”), I feel like the poor guy has had enough hard times, and doesn’t need me putting him down. The least I can do is keep him off the list proper.

PHEW! I’m just about beat. After a satisfactory end to a great season, I’m about ready for a short break! I may be away for a couple weeks, but don’t worry, you’ll still get your off-season content. I’ve got a special blog I’ve been wanting to do since the season began, so keep your eyes peeled. And, of course, “Survivor Retrospectives” will be up and running again before you know it!

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.